#this is just not happening here shall we say. and its kinda yknow. doing things to me brain i suspect.

[leatherbookmark]

found the book! but at what cost

[eternalera]

okay okay okay (this is lowkey review for me bc i got iliad stuff to do once i get back to school :>)

so basically here are some points leading up to it bc in the iliad we dont actually get his death bc the iliad wasnt really about the whole 'achilles gets yoinked in the heel thing' and more about the loss that came with war (in my opinion).

so basically achilles kinda almost avoided the whole 'getting shot in the heel thing' this is mostly because agamemnon (we hate him here <3) threw a pissy fit because he had to give up his war prize (something that resembled honor and yes this is a VERY prominent thing because back then honor was basically all you had after your death because they didnt really have a writing system to tell your story i mean they did but like yknow, it was one vases and shit im pretty sure)

so achilles is like 'you gotta give back your war prize or else apollo is gonna get pissed at us because you dishonored him' and agamemnon is like 'fine but im taking yours' and achilles is like 'this bish-'

so then he leaves the war and refuses to fight unless agamemnon basically pleads at his feet for him to join back into the war. so basically one two skip a few and enter in patroclus achilles' totally no-homo-tentmate-best-buddy-friend-heterolifepartner nothing ever happened yep mhm totally

so basically achilles sends him out because he sees a warrior get injured (machaon who is a medic kinda important but eh) and hes like 'go see who that is before i grieve for them please, gotta make sure its someone of importance' (yes hes a bitch)

then patroclus is like 'alr sure whatever you say' anyways once he gets there nestors like 'yknow how nice of achilles to get sad when someone he likes gets hurt, BUT HE COULD PREVENT IT IF HE WOULD GET HIS ASS OUT HERE. so could you tell him to do that pls? and if not cant you at least wear his armor and get out here' and patroclus is like ' , :D i can sure try' and anyways he sees someone getting injured and actually helps him (UNLIKE HIS SHITTY ASS BF)

anyways he gets back and is like 'you actually fucking suck wtf man everyones dying everyones injured' and hes crying and shit and achilles is just mocking him until he realizes that its serious and then patroclus is like 'if you wont fight can i go out in your armor and yknow act like you to scare them off?'

achilles is then like 'YESS WIN ME GLORRYYYYY, and also dont go far from the ships and dont seize glory and dont die pls :>'

patroclus is like 'sir yes sir'

then he fucking DIES!!

anyways achilles manages to cry so damn loudly that the sea nymphs BELOW THE EARTH could hear him and started to get sad. thetis (his mother) then goes up and is like 'whats wrong'

then achilles is like 'my totally non-homo-heterolifepartner died mother theres nothing left to live for. i shall fight :(' then thetis mourns for her son and gets hephaestus to make him some armor

anyways then achilles does a bunch of shit, fights a river, the usual when mourning yknow? and then FINALLY he kills hector (aka the one who killed patroclus) and drags his body around troy three times (he has truama)

and then yeah stuff happens hector gets returned but ANYWAYS

hector was apollos favorite so when he saw achilles dishonoring him he's like 'well fuck THAT guy' and then he goes down to paris (hectors femboy practically useless flamboyant brother but we love him for that) and is like

'yo since that guy kinda killed your brother you wanna help me kill him :>'

and then paris is like 'FUCK YEAHHHH'

anyways apollos rigs paris' arrow to basically hit achilles' heel his one vulnerable spot

everything else is invincible or smth bc thetis (omg its her again) dipper him in the river styx to make him invincible but held him by his heel for some reason?? (she totally couldve just also dipped the heel but sure) and so yeah the arrow kills him or smth!?

people think that it left achilles disabled like unable to walk and then paris stabbed him or smth because as you can imagine a hit to the heel isnt exactly fatal.

oh yeah its also thought that paris shot the arrow on his own without apollos help or that apollo just shot the arrow at achilles and paris took the credit or didnt have anything to do with it

yeah so basically thats achilles' death

he totally couldve avoided it too bc he had two destinies and shit so yeah :)

Pup!!!! Hi how are you :D

good :DDDD

hru?

[hopelesshawks]

Official Accounts Part 27- Think Fast

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Warnings for alcohol and recreational drug use

Masterlist

Hawks watches somewhat apprehensively as you put solo cups, mixers, and multiple handles of hard liquor out on your counter. “You look more terrified right now than I’ve ever seen you before facing a villain,” you point out. “I trained my whole life to fight villains. This is new. How many people did you invite?” He asks incredulously. “Just the Baddies,” you shrug. “All this is for just seven people?” “Technically all this and more, Kacchan’s bringing beer and Mina’s bringing white claws. Don’t worry we won’t finish it all!” you assure him before briefly pausing. “We probably won’t finish it all,” you correct yourself. At seeing the continued hesitation in Hawks’ face you stop your preparations for a moment and turn to him. “Hey I can call this whole thing off if you want,” you offer, but he shakes his head. “No, no don’t do that. Beneath the nerves I’m excited I promise. Plus what would people think if the great Hawks chickened out of a simple little party?” “I’m more worried about Keigo right now than Hawks.” “Keigo will also be fine.” “Ok, but you are more than welcome to stop drinking whenever. We won’t pressure you to get drunk if you don’t want to.” “I am older than you, yknow. You don’t have to baby me.” “Older yes but I, dear Keigo, am the more experienced and wiser one here.” “Well then, oh wise one, why don’t you show me the proper way to take tequila shots.” “I’ll grab the limes.”

You and Keigo might have gotten the tiniest bit carried away with your pregame so by the time the rest of your friends come knocking at your door you’ve already got a buzz going. As you swing the door open Denki and Mina are grinning back at you, Denki with an impressive bag of weed and Mina with the promised white claws, as the other three wave from behind them. “Let’s get fucking plus ultra in this bitch!” Mina yells and the rest of you reply with similar enthusiasm as you usher everyone inside. “Hawks and I already started so you guys have to catch up,” you tell them as you unlock your phone and toss it to Kirishima to pick the music.

At the start of the night you made a point to stick close to Keigo so he’d always have a familiar face to rely on if he got overwhelmed or didn’t feel like talking anymore, but as the drinks kept flowing you were delighted to find he seemed to be doing just fine on his own. In fact, Denki genuinely seemed keen on getting to know him more and the rest of your friends were just as welcoming. Soon it felt just like any of you all’s usual hangs and it wasn’t much longer after that that everyone was properly drunk. Soon Mina had somehow convinced Bakugo and Kirishima to back her up in an impromptu round of karaoke while Shinso and Hawks watched on from the sidelines. Denki sidles up next to you, throwing one arm around your shoulder while holding a perfectly rolled joint in his free hand. “Shall we head to the balcony?” he asks with a grin. You throw one more glance Hawks’ way to double check he’s doing well and when you see him burst into laughter as Bakugo and Mina fight over something inane, you feel something warm spark in your chest. “We shall,” you confirm before letting him guide you over to the glass door and opening it with a flourish.

There’s a chill in the air but the alcohol flowing through your veins means you barely feel it as you step onto the balcony and lean across the railing, Denki joining you as he pulls a lighter from his pocket. He places the joint in his mouth and then lights it with the kind of ease that comes from experience before taking a large hit and passing it to you. The two of you pass the joint back and forth a few times before Denki finally speaks up. “So how’s the little arrangement going so far?” he asks. “Better than expected to be honest.” “Have you guys talked about what happened yet?” “Not explicitly. He told me... a lot... about his past so I kinda get it now? but not about the night it went to shit.” Denki hums in acknowledgment. “How are you doing in general after everything that happened?” he asks. “I’m fine Denki.” “(Y/n)...” “I mean it. Don’t worry about little ol me.” “I’ll always worry about you.” “And I, you. Now stop killing the vibe. This is supposed to be a party remember?” Denki laughs at that as you move to sit on the railing of the balcony.

Keigo has to admit he’s pleasantly surprised by how tonight is going. He had worried about dropping into the middle of your friend group and spending the whole night feeling like an intruder but instead all of you have welcomed him with open arms in spite of everything. Between that and the alcohol he’s feeling more uninhibited now than he ever has his entire life. “I should’ve done this sooner,” he declares as he takes another sip from his solo cup. Next to him Shinso laughs, “damn right you should’ve.”

“Hey Kacchan!!” he suddenly hears you call. When he looks over he notices you sitting on the railing of the balcony. That can’t be safe, you have to be at least as drunk as he is and the joint you’d been sharing with Denki has burned pretty low so you’re definitely high too. “Think fast!” you shout and then you’re letting go and leaning backwards until you’re falling, the bright grin on your face never faltering. The blood in Hawks’ veins runs cold as he watches you disappear from sight. The muscles in his back twitch on instinct but barely any of his feathers have grown back yet so he. can’t. save. you. He can’t save you and he’s starting to panic when he notices Bakugo launching himself over the railing, the sound of explosions loud in the quiet night. Hawks jumps as he feels a hand land on his shoulder and turns to find Shinso giving him a reassuring smile. “Sorry should’ve warned you. She does that a lot, especially when she’s drunk,” Shinso tells him. “What? Falls off buildings?” “Yea pretty much.” “What?” “It’s a trust thing. The first time she did it was to prove a point. She knew he’d catch her. Now I think she just likes the feeling of falling while crossed.”

Bakugo reappears over the balcony with you giggling on his back completely unharmed and Hawks releases a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “That’s a lot of trust. When’d she start doing that?” Hawks asks. “I’m actually not sure,” Shinso replies, “yo Mina!” “What?” “What year did (y/n) start the whole ‘think fast’ thing? Second or third?” Mina walks over to join the conversation, plopping down next to Shinso. “Uhh I think it was third year after they started dating” she says. Shinso shoots her a look and elbows her but it’s too late. “They dated?” Hawks asks. Mina’s eyes widen in realization but it’s too late to take it back so she instead says “I’m gonna get more to drink!” and jets back off to the kitchen. Shinso rolls his eyes. “Yea, they did. In the end they decided they were better off as friends though, especially because Bakugo was a lot less mature then.” “That’s why she gets away with calling him Kacchan.” “Yea, probably. That was years ago now though, I don’t think anything’s happened between them since. I wouldn’t worry about it,” Shinso assures him before excusing himself to go talk to Denki.

Hawks knows it’s not his place but he can’t help but feel jealous now watching you tease Bakugo about getting slower as he lectures you on being an idiot. “I’m not an idiot!” you pout. “What else would you call someone that intentionally falls off a building?” he seethes. “Was there any chance you would have let me hit the ground?” “Obviously not, dumbass.” “Well there you go! Perfectly safe!” Bakugo sputters, his cheeks reddening, before finally grumbling “I’m getting another drink,” before walking away. This only makes you laugh harder. “Love you Kacchan,” you tease after him. “Fuck you!” he shouts back.

He’s one of your best friends. He’s one of your best friends. He’s one of your best friends. The phrase plays on a loop in Keigo’s head in a desperate attempt to quash the jealousy burning through his chest but he can’t help it. How long had the two of you dated? “Longer than the two of you did,” his brain unhelpfully supplies. His thoughts are interrupted when Kirishima drops down next to him with two beer cans in hand. “You look like you’re pretty deep in your head and (y/n) would kill me if I let you stay that way. Ever shotgunned a beer before?” Kirishima asks. “I didn’t realize I was that easy to read,” Hawks says as he takes one of the offered beers. “Typically you’re not. Watching you in action? You’re totally inscrutable dude, it’s super manly! But when you’re with friends you shouldn’t have to worry about that. Anyway, let’s not talk heavy shit man, am I teaching you to shotgun or not?” “Fuck it, why not.” “That’s the spirit!”

The party eventually reaches its natural conclusion as exhaustion starts to overtake even the effects of alcohol. Not to mention, your friends are keenly aware that unlike you and Hawks they actually have to get up and be out for work tomorrow. Hawks isn’t surprised when you give each of your friends a tight hug goodbye. He is surprised when the same offer is extended to him. It’s almost scary how perceptive your friends can be. When Mina’s hands get a little too close to where his wings should be he can’t help but flinch and immediately she adjusts. The rest of your friends make a point to avoid the area. Bakugo and Kirishima are the last to leave and it takes everything in Hawks not to let his jealousy show as you hug Bakugo goodbye. He’s once again shocked when Bakugo goes to hug him but he soon realizes that it’s not necessarily done to be friendly. “Take good fucking care of her bird brain. Cause if you don’t? I will,” he whispers harshly. As the two pull away from each other their eyes lock in a silent challenge until Kirishima calls from the hallway “Bakubro let’s go! Taxi’s here!” “I’m coming Shitty Hair relax!” he shouts back before finally breaking eye contact and heading out the door with one final wave in your direction.

Author’s Note: The party was honestly pretty built around the “think fast” scene. Once that idea came to mind it refused to leave. The Bakugo stuff well 👀 what can I say I like ✨drama✨ also I felt a little bad that Bird Boy stole the fic I was gonna write for Bakugo from him. Originally I was gonna have Hawks’ jealousy be unfounded but then I saw an opportunity and decided to run with it oops

Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu @someweirdshitman @oliviasslut @the-adzukibean @a-fucking-sero-kinnie @ladyzayismultifandom

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[signs-of-the-moon]

Moon Rise: Chapter 43

Only two days passed when the clan needed herbs again. Swiftcloud and Rabbitstorm travelled along the snowy path, led only by Ruby, back to through the Twolegplace. They paused at the fence by the large Twoleg's den, looking to their guide as they prepared to jump over.

"I shall wait for you right here. Please try not to take too long, it's very cold today," Ruby meowed, seating herself by the Twoleg fence. Swiftcloud and Rabbitstorm gave her an agreeing nod, leaping into the yard on the other side. Tabitha was already there, patiently waiting for them outside by the door. Fat Louie was also present, though he didn't appear as cheerful as his mate.

"Oh no. Not them again!" He griped. His expression was sour as he glanced from the Grassclan warriors to his mate and back.

"There you are!" Tabitha bounded towards the clan cats. She completely ignored Fat Louie's remark. "I've been waiting for you. I was worried you wouldn't come back."

"We told you we would. A warrior's word is their bond," Rabbitstorm responsed with his tail raised in greetings.

"I didn't mean any offense by that remark," Tabitha insisted,"it's just that I never know when you're coming back. For all I know, I could be waiting seasons to see you all again."

"Well, I can garuntee we'll never stay away that long," Swiftcloud promised, touching her nose to the other molly's assuringly.

Tabitha purred, turning to press her side into Rabbitstorm's. She didn't stick to the topic of their discussion anymore, now that her favorite cat was here to dote on. "Brr. It's so bitter outside today, don't you think?"

Rabbitstorm began to lick his chest fur, avoiding Tabitha's sunshine yellow gaze. "I hadn't really noticed," he mumbled.

"I bet it's because you have all that long fur, hm? No cold can get through that handsome pelt of yours, I'm sure." Tabitha nudged him. It was so obvious that she wanted the tom's attention. Probably in more ways than one. Swiftcloud thought it was cute.

Rabbitstorm shuffled his paws around in the snow, looking at them as if he suddenly found them fascinating. Swiftcloud resisted the purr of amusement that wanted to rise in her throat. She could tell just how flustered her friend was by how he was behaving. Tabitha was the only cat who could push his buttons this way, besides Heatherwing. If fate would have allowed it, Swiftcloud could have seen the pair becoming mates some day. But they came from two different worlds, and lived too far to maintain any sort of bond. Besides, Tabitha had Fat Louie as her mate already, despite how much of a fox-heart he'd previously shown himself to be. And despite how flirty and flustered he'd get, Swiftcloud doubted that Rabbitstorm was ready to move on from Heatherwing yet. It was still too soon since her passing.

"C'mon 'handsome' let's get that catmint," Swiftcloud teased, ignoring the memories of the deceased molly her mind tried to hold. Rabbitstorm perked up right away to glare at her, though a hint of mischief was noted in his expression.

"Haha, funny." He rolled his eyes, bounding ahead with Tabitha right beside him. Swiftcloud purred, falling in step with her companions. From behind, she could feel judgemental eyes upon them. Swiveling her ears back, Swiftcloud could hear an extra set of paws shuffling through the snow. She paused just outside the Green House door.

"You guys go ahead. I think I'll wait outside this time. Tabitha, can you bring a bundle of herbs for me please?"

Tabitha trilled, leaning herself against Rabbitstorm. "Sure!" Though her words were addressed to Swiftcloud, her attention was still placed on the lynx point tom next to her. Tabitha batted her eyes at him dreamily before following Rabbitstorm into the den. Swiftcloud was left outside alone and ignored. She watched the pair slip away into the tamed undergrowth before turning herself around. Her eyes narrowed as Fat Louie appeared before her.

"Can I help you with something?" Swiftcloud asked the fat tom, not disguising the distrust she had for him.

"Yeah. You can help me by getting your mangy hides off my territory," Louie hissed. "Y'know you're all Tabitha's talked about since you came by the other day? It's always 'Swiftcloud' this. And 'wild cats' that. It's driving me batty! And if I have to listen to her gush one more heartbeat about 'Wabbitstorm~' I'm going to claw my own ears off."

"Is there really a problem with that?" Swiftcloud prompted. "Surely you'd want Tabitha to be happy? To have friends?"

"Tabitha doesn't need any cat but me. She's been fine the past six moons, with just her and I. And she'll be perfectly happy when you're gone! You're ruining everything we've planned for. Everything we've been brought together for."

Swiftcloud tilted her head, unsure of what Louie was referring to. "And what would that be?" She asked.

"To have kits, of course. Tabitha and I are supposed to have a few litters of kits for our housefolks."

So that was the reason why Tabitha was so open to flirting with a tom that wasn't her mate. She wasn't in love with Fat Louie at all. They'd been made to be mates by their Twolegs. Tabitha didn't have a choice. Swiftcloud resisted the urge to cringe at the realization. She'd only ever known of something like this happening with show cats; like her parents. Swiftcloud's parents had been coupled together to produce award winning kittens. Luckily, the two of them had found true love for each other over time. But Swiftcloud couldn't see that being the case with Tabitha and Louie. Especially when Tabitha was so infatuated with Rabbitstorm. What a miserable life she'll lead, Swiftcloud thought bitterly.

"You being here's putting too many ideas into that molly's head. She's thinkin about being a clan cat, yknow," Fat Louie added, looking disgusted.

She'd definitely be happier if she was, Swiftcloud wanted to say. But she held her tongue, her nubby tail wiggling in agitation.

"So why don't you all just stay away? Go home to your fields or something. Keep out of housefolk neighborhoods. And especially our territory." Fat Louie took a few steps closer, his nose only a mouse-whisker away from Swiftcloud's. From this distance she could see the scratches Rabbitstorm had left on the tom's muzzle. "I heard your story, yknow. You made your choice to be one of those wild cats. Let Tabitha stay where she belongs; don't force her to make the same decision as you did."

"Nobody is forcing her to choose. Tabitha is her own cat. She can decide to follow whatever path she pleases. You have no right to keep her from her happiness."

Fat Louie drew his lips back in a snarl. "I make her happy. We are happy. You're just too blinded by your wild lifestyle to see it. Maybe you had been a house cat before, but that time has passed. You've forgotten what it's like. You can't possibly begin to understand anything about our relationship. I'll warn you one last time; stay away from our territory, or else."

"Or else what? You'll drive us away? Sick you Twolegs on us?"

"I'll do something I'd rather not. I'll hurt Tabitha. I'll make sure our housefolks see her injuries. And when they do, they'll never let her outside again. She's declawed, yknow. There'll be no way for her to defend herself."

"That absurd," Swiftcloud growled, "there's no need to take things that far. We visit your territory to gather catmint for our sick. Once the greencough has been eliminated from our clan, we won't need to come around anymore. We'll be gone for good within the next moon or so. Besides, the clan can't handle any new mouthes to feed right now." Swiftcloud was careful with how she worded things, knowing that whatever she'd say would make its way to Tabitha through Fat Louie. There was no need to give him more ammunition to use to try and prevent his mate from running away to the clans.

Louie grunted in response, "I'll believe it when I see it... Heed my warning, wild cat." With that, the fat tom stalked off, giving a grumble as he went. Nasty old badger, Swiftcloud thought sourly, turning to meet with her clanmates inside the Green House.

A quarter moon went by. Swiftcloud had returned for another needed round of herbs. A new set of cats had joined this patrol, cats she was eager to introduce to her new kittypet friend.

"I can't believe we're so far in Twolegplace!" Frostfeather exclaimed as they entered Tabitha's yard from the fence. She shook out her pelt as snow sprayed over her from the impact of her landing.

"I think it's awesome," Tulippaw chimed, having regained her spunk after recovering from greencough. "I know aunt Whitestar approved of us coming here. But crossing into unknown territory makes me feel like a rebel spy."

"Are you interested in being a Spy?" Swiftcloud wondered aloud. She'd be thrilled if her apprentice wound up following in her pawsteps. And even if she didn't, she was glad to give the young cat a taste of what the job may intell. Ambereye would probably approve as well.

Tulippaw gave an unsure shrug, bristling slightly as she noticed the door to the Twolegs' den swing open. Swiftcloud followed her apprentice's gaze. Tabitha came bounding over the moment she noticed the clan cats waiting for her. She waved her tail in greetings, coming to a stop in front of them. Disappointment momentarily took over her expression, a look Swiftcloud figured was for Rabbitstorm's sake. He hadn't been assigned to join the herb patrol this time, even though he insisted.

"I see you've brought some new faces," Tabitha remarked to Swiftcloud, glancing at the strange she-cats.

"Hi there!" Frostfeather beamed. "I'm Frostfeather!! Gee, you sure smell funny," the silver and white tabby mewed, giving Tabitha a sniff. Swiftcloud giggled, reminded of the time she'd first met Frostfeather. She'd reacted the same way then, too.

"Well, so do you! Actually, you kinda smell like some other clan friends I have," Tabitha noted.

"You must be talking about Rabbitstorm and Mistyleaf, right? They're my littermates!"

Tabitha gasped happily. "You're Rabbitstorm's other sister?? How is he? Has he mentioned me at all? I miss him so much!"

Frostfeather let out a trill of amusement.

"Hey!" Tulippaw caterwauled. "I thought we came here to pick up catmint, not to gossip like elders."

"Tulippaw's right," Swiftcloud agreed. Across the way, she could see Fat Louie watching them through a window. His eyes were narrowed, teeth exposed. Swiftcloud felt a little anxious at the sight. She didn't want to distract Tabitha for long in fear for the kittypet's safety. But at the same time, she was feeling a bit spiteful. Louie wanted to prevent Tabitha from becoming too enthralled in clan cat culture. But that didn't mean Swiftcloud couldn't teach her a thing or two about survival.

"Tulippaw, I'd like to assign you to a special task," she mewed. "I know you think herb gathering is boring. So, as compromise for coming along, I'll let you hang out here and play with Tabitha. Maybe you can show off your talented hunting skills, hm?"

Tulippaw perked up at the suggestion, an excited grin forming on her face. "That'll be fun! Hey, hey Tabitha, have you ever tried catching a mouse?"

Tabitha shook her head looking curious. "No, never. I wish I could though."

Tulippaw's grin widened, "then stick with me, I'll teach you everything you need to know."

Swiftcloud and Frostfeather let out a mrrow of laughter, letting the two excited cats play while they went and gathered up everything they needed. Swiftcloud felt relieved, having someone there to protect Tabitha during their visit. It felt good to do right by her. It was the least the clan could do for her generosity. And for potentially breaking ger heart in the near future.

*******

After a moon and half of continuous visits to the Twolegplace, the need for catmint had been completely fulfilled. Today would be the final visit to Tabitha's den, to tell her the good news, and to say farewell for good. It was a bittersweet day for everyone. But it was one they all knew would come. Soon, life would return to normal. With every cat well again, Grassclan could get back to business as usual. And Tabitha could go back to living the life that had been chosen for her by the Twolegs.

"Swiftcloud, Frostfeather, Mistyleaf, Chicorynose!" Tabitha cheered as she saw the warriors approach. Her eyes became particularly sparkly when she looked towards the final cat in their patrol. "Rabbitstorm!" The round tabby launched herself at the tom, slamming him into the padded ground below. They slid a mouse-length, leaving an indent the snow. Tabitha sat on top of Rabbitstorm, beaming down at him.

"Get off me you great big furball!" Rabbitstorm meowed, though there was laughter laced within his tone.

Tabitha smiled that much brighter, rubbing her cheek against his. "I missed you all so much."

"It's only been a few days." Chicorynose purred with amusement. Tabitha sat up, allowing Rabbitstorm to slip free from her grip. She lifted a paw to lick, casually running it over one of her ears.

"I know, but it's always so hard when you have to go away."

"Hey Tabitha, we have something amazing to tell you," Swiftcloud informed the kittypet molly. Tabitha perked up. "The last of our clanmates has been confirmed well again!"

"Really? Oh, that's fantastic!" Tabitha cheered.

"Grassclan's grown strong thanks to you," Chicorynose added. "We're very grateful for the aid you've provided, Tabitha. Thank you... I know our visiting is payment enough for your assistance. But, I wish there was something more we could do in return for your charity."

Tabitha shuffled her paws. "There's only one thing I'd ask for, if I could. I'd love to be taken back to Grassclan with all of you... But I know I wouldn't do well in the wild. I have no claws. I can't hunt or fight. I don't have much of a way to provide for a whole group of cats the way you can. And...I'm expecting kits."

"There's plenty of ways to hunt that don't always require claws," Swiftcloud pointed out, her bird catching technique standing out in her mind. "Plus in our clan, cats have partners. You'd always have somebody around to help you catch prey."

"And not every cat in the clan hunts for the rest," Rabbitstorm added. "There's cats who repair dens or help the medicine cats gather their herbs. And our queens tend to the entire clan, and their mental wellbeings "

"Really?" Tabitha was intrigued.

"Yeah!" Frostfeather chimed. "If you joined us, there would be plenty for you to help with. Besides we all really like you, you'd fit in with Grassclan perfectly."

Tabitha's eyed began to sparkle with hope. She smiled, chest puffing out excitedly.

"Hang on," Ruby interjected. "Surely you need to think this through. As much as I hate to agree with Fat Louie, its true you belong here. You aren't like these clan cats, Tabitha, please see reason."

"No I don't," Tabitha argued. "I don't belong here at all. In fact, I hate this place! I'm always so bored. There's nothing fun to do. And Louie doesn't care about me. He has no interest in what I talk about or in spending time with me. He hardly even reacted when I told him that I'm expecting. The most excitement that's come from my life has been from interacting with you, and with all the wild cats you've brought to visit me." Tabitha turned to address the Grassclan patrol. Tears began to well in her eyes, her voice was pleading. "I want to be warrior. I want crazy adventures, and friends that I can count on. I want my kits to be born wild and free in the meadow. Not miserable and lonely in some dusty old den like I was. The only thing I want in return from you is a home. A family. Please, take me with you!"

"Well." Chicorynose twitched her whiskers. "Typically, this decision would be up to Whitestar. However, the clan could use fresh blood now that so many of our warriors have passed on. And you've proven yourself capable of loyalty to our clan. I see no reason why we shouldn't take you."

Tabitha's pelt fluffed with excitement.

"But be warned," Swiftcloud cut in. "Living as a clan cat is not all fun and games. There's danger everywhere. The cold seasons are harsh, and food will not be so readily available. There's predators; and the other clans can be vicious, too. Know that by coming with us, you're giving up comfort, warmth, certainty. For you and your kittens. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"All of that sounds pleasant, compared to the dull life I've had to lead. I'd rather die than stay here a moment longer. At least in the clan I'll know that I've truly lived. And I'll know that my kits are happy too."

Chicorynose beckoned the others with her tail. "Then come. We'll be off to the meadow at once. Whitestar will want to meet you. And we should probably move quickly, before Louie comes along to try and stop you."

Tabitha let out an excited trill, doing a little spin of joy. She bumped her head against Chicorynose's, purring. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!"

"Well." Ruby stepped closer to her kittypet friend. Her purple-ish eyes narrowed down at the plump molly, her ears twitching. "I suppose, if there's no stopping you..." Without warning, the large she-cat snatched up Tabitha by the collar. She gave a few hard yanks, ripping it right off her friend's neck. Tabitha let out a surprised gasp, her fur standing on end. She stared down at her collar, which had been dropped by her paws. Tabitha looked up at Ruby with wide eyes. Ruby in turn lowered her head to touch noses with her. "Take care, Tabitha. And good luck out there."

Tabitha blinked and purred once more, licking her friend's muzzle. "Thank you," she whispered, stepping back. Chicorynose flicked an ear, beckoning the Grassclan patrol to come along.

"I'll lead the way," Swiftcloud offered, padding on ahead. The rest of her clanmates followed, Tabitha rushing over to join them. Ruby traveled with, eventually allowing the clan cats to move on without her. She watched as her friend and the rest of the Grassclan patrol disappeared over the horizon.

When they were back in familiar territory, Mistyleaf piped up from the back of the group. "Swiftcloud, could I speak with you for a few heartbeats?"

Swiftcloud turned, following her friend's request. The two she-cats hung back, while the rest of their clanmates continued ahead towards camp. They fell in step with one another, speaking softly.

"I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for the help you've provided these past couple of moons. Starclan knows how much of a pain it was to get Snowfrost to agree to allow you to assist. But I think if it weren't for you, Grassclan may have been suffering from greencough until Newleaf."

"I just did what any other cat would do," reasoned Swiftcloud.

"That's not true," Mistyleaf disagreed. "You've gone above and beyond what was expected. You let yourself go hungry so others could eat. Pushed yourself to keep going even though you were tired. You volunteered to help Snowfrost and I with your immunity. And you were the one to insist we look in Twolegplace for catmint. No other cat was able to do all that. And now, Grassclan is strong again. It's all because of you."

Swiftcloud felt herself flush beneath her pelt. Her head dipped bashfully to avoid Mistyleaf's gaze. She couldn't bring herself to believe that what she'd done was out of the ordinary. I was only fulfilling my duty as a warrior.

Mistyleaf moved to press herself against her friend's flank. She purred softly, drawing Swiftcloud's attention onto her with a flick of her thick tail.

"I knew you were important," she whispered. "I never realized how much of an impact you'd make, until now... I admire you so much, Swiftcloud." Mistyleaf pressed herself against her companion further. "Maybe even more than that..."

Swiftcloud gulped. "More..?"

Mistyleaf nodded, "I suppose, well...It's taken me a long time to consider my feelings about you. I thought I just wanted to be friends, but... Stars, I can't hold back my affection for you anymore...! Swiftcloud...I-"

Swiftcloud suddenly curved around to stand in the medicine cat's path, interrupting her. She trembled slightly, but stood tall. Her eyes sparkled and heart fluttered as if butterflies had found their way into her chest. Mistyleaf blinked. Confusion showed in her pretty silver features. There was a silence that settled between the pair. What felt like eternity lasted only heartbeats. It was clear what Mistyleaf wanted to say. But Swiftcloud couldn't let her be the first to speak those words.

"I love you too," she finally confessed, moving to touch her muzzle against Mistyleaf's.

Mistyleaf's eyes began to water. She pressed her face to Swiftcloud's, her purr rising to a loud elated rumble. The she-cats nuzzled one another, shedding a couple of happy tears. After so many moons of pining, they could finally give into their desires and be together. Swiftcloud couldn't be happier. Now she could call both of her greatest loves her mates.

The two she-cats trotted on ahead, flank against flank, back to Grassclan's camp. They arrived just in time to make it to Tabitha's apprentice ceremony.

"Ah, there you are,"Whitestar meowed. "I was just about to make mention of you, Swiftcloud. I've assigned Chicorynose to be Tabitha's mentor. And I'd like to ask you to help as well. Having a cat from a similar background to teach her our way of life would be most beneficial. I hope you can handle training two apprentices."

Swiftcloud blinked, glancing from Mistyleaf back to Whitestar.

"I'll manage just fine. Thank you, Whitestar," she replied, padding over to the base of the Tall Stone. Chicorynose and Tabitha stood their waiting, the second of the pair turning to touch noses with Swiftcloud. At once, the clan broke out into cheers. Swiftcloud basked in the excitement of it all. Of the energy in the air, and of the strength of her clanmates. Perhaps now everything could return to normal. And with it, perhaps Grassclan could live in peace. And maybe at last, Swiftcloud could indulge in life's simple pleasures.

[welcometotheocverse]

@the-october-reviewer  submitted: What’s Amelia’s relationship with Jess like? (I just got to his first episode in my Gilmore Girls rewatch)

@the-october-reviewer Oof okay so both Henry and Amelia are my “give Jess a freakin break” characters so she’s very much open about getting to know her cousin. And excited because Rory’s great but she still only  lives part time with her and at this point she doesn’t get to know the Gilmore Clan so Jess is like…someone from her family that’s coming to live with her.  She also kinda nudges her dad about not screaming so much at him like “if I had been shipped across state lines with no reasoning and then had some guy in a baseball hat yelling at me I probably wouldn’t listen either dad.” and Luke himself isn’t as clueless about children ( though a problem child is still a challenge because Amelia’s a sunshine kid who is the furthers thing from troubled Jess but at least he has some parameters with how to communicate and ask instead of yelling because she has been upset before and that’s what he’s had to do with her. Though with Jess it’s more like pulling teeth but its still a better skillset)

Which like OKAY SO

 Amelia’s relationship with Jess is very much she’s sunshiny and takes a lot of his brooding in stride and he eventually gets a soft spot for her. They kinda start off rocky with the whole “wow you must be sleeping with Luke” he says to Lorelai  and  she does go “yknow maybe you shouldn’t be such a jerk to the people trying to welcome you to town. Also don’t speak to my mom like that ever again.” but is absolutely not here for the town having an entire meeting to “Figure Out The Jess Situation” and comes back absolutely irate. Jess hears the tail end of her rant ( because she’s both Luke and Lorelai’s kid oh boy can she rant when she wants to lmao) and actually Jess hears the tail end of it and it…kinda shocks him into going “huh this kid’s in my corner…even though she was mad at me” and he shapes up a bit. I’m not sure if he apologizes to Lorelai proper because Lorelai isn’t that nice to him from then on and Jess is still A Reactive Teenager With More Snark Than Hair Moose but he does apologize to Amelia and Amelia accepts it and they start from there. 

Jess gets to hear about her feelings about her parents and admit that yeah the whole town knowing your business gets to her sometimes ( she does not need to hear about either of her parents latest fight and also who they date thank you very much) but “it’s also sorta nice yknow, everyone looks out for each other here.” and Jess gets this different view of Stars Hollow as more than a town that would fit in a snowglobe and like maybe its not Actually The Worst Place even if he doesn’t see himself ever fitting in her and okay sure he mostly nods along because he doesn’t want to argue with her and upset her and oh-god-oh-fuck-when-did-he-start-caring-so-much-nope-not-thinking-about-that-he-is-not-going -soft-shut-up ( he is) and it’s…he still goes through culture shock and like “how do I even fit here” but it’s a lot less antagonistic than in canon because he has someone there he fits in with.

He convinces her to help him with the body chalk prank on Dosee’s. And also the fight that he gets in with Chuck Presby is actuallly because he’s being a jerk to Amelia. And Jess is uh…shall we say rusty, in How Do I Nice To People so he just goes “okay I’m gonna deck the guy that was an asshole to you because friendship.” while Amelia’s like “ooooohmygod mom was right guys are dumb at this age.” but is also really touched because she’s told the teachers a million times about Chuck and they always just give her some “boys will be boys nonsense” and also -and more importantly to her- Jess cares!!!

Also Literati doesn’t happens at all in Amelia’s verse because Rory is Jess’..cousin’s sister and his uncle slept with and had a kid with her mom and…yeah no. Instead I think Rory ends up being Jess’ second best friend ( the first being Amelia) by being the second person after Luke to give her a chance and Amelia loves them both which means they interact a lot still but platonic ( Dean still gets jealous tho because that’s very much a him thing. Amelia has zero patience for him and at one point tells him if he’s gonna hassle her cousin to stay out of her dad’s dinner which is hilarious because she’s like half his size and dressed in pastel winter wear.)

Basically Amelia shows and tells Jess that family means you have a place here, we’ll make room. Period.  and works as mediator between him and Luke and calls him out when he’s a jerk ( and it works more because she’s unequivocally in his corner) and she makes him realize that the anger he wielded in New York might not be necessary or effective in Stars Hollow. They bicker like siblings and she rolls her eyes at his sarcasm and he at her upbeat personality but they’re pretty much ride and die for each other. They share things with each other and remain close from his arrival and through the rest of the show.

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[writersperpetualblock]

Hi can i request a shigaraki tomura (if you write for him ofc) x reader where reader is a very bold villain both with fighting and flirting (kinda like harley quinn if you know her) and can you make it NSFW (sorry if this isn't the place to request I'm very new to tumblr and it's all confusing @-@

Heyy! I’d be glad to write something like that for you, I hope it reaches expectations :) And welcome to Tumblr, have a safe journey here. I will make a SFW part for those who may be interestedin reading just that andd the NSFW shall be marked where it starts.

SFW kids!

“This is all too much boyss. Let’s make a deal, a kiss for each if ya let me go!”

Your words seemed to be falling into deaf ears. You were kind of thrilled to learn what was going on. Getting kidnapped was the most exciting thing to happen to you all week. But maybe you’d have to throw in a threat or two to make a point.

“Okay y'know what? Forget that, if you don’t let me go this instant I promise I will…” and just like that the bag that covered your head got take off.

“A bar? Jeez, that’s not the best way to ask a girl for a drink.”

“Brought you something good.”

“What’s this Broker? You decided we’d kidnap new recruits?”

Your head bounced back and forward, they were completely ignoring your being there. Your brows furrowed as you recognized the people around you. At last, he had finally brought you to them.

“Oh my! A pleasure this is, I asked Giran to bring me by long ago.” You walked to the closest person and pressed a kiss to their cheek, continuing to greet the people sitting around the bar. “Hi, My name is y/n but I go by Sunny! You’re Toga I pressume?”

The blonde girl with the buns smiled at you. “Sunny huh?”

“Why bring her here like that?”

“She’s a smart-ass, can’t take any chances with her really.”

“What makes you think I will take her?” I turned on my heel, so that was him huh. Merely a few strides away, I had to make them count. First impressions matter, so as I walked towards him I made sure to swing my hips just enough.

“You, must be the leader. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you y'know.”

“Have you now?” his red eyes scan me. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here to fight you. And if I deem you worthy then beside you, I have a really bad boredom case so I could use something exciting in ma’ life yknow.” I smile at him, or at the hand on his face whatever. “I like the whole hand thing, is it like a kink?” you hear at least two of the people at the bar snort and smirk.

“Fight me you say?” he asks turning his head, I turn mine too to match his actions and undo the metal rope I carry around as a belt.

“Are you willing or do I have to make you?” I pout at him, I knew his quirk and I was walking on dangerous zone. But something about this thin, overpowered dude intrigued me.

There was a full silence for less than a minute before I had to swing the rope and catch his wrist. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll lead the way.” I pulled him to me in a quick motion and ripped the hand from his face. Startled red eyes looked up at me, and they quickly turned angry. He threw himself at me in order to catch the hand and started obliterating the rope from his wrist. I easily evaded but let him have the hand, and that seemed to trigger him further. As he put a hand on my shoulder and sat me down on the floor.

“Mm, let’s at least get on name bases first honey.” I say dodging the hand that was coming for my face and heating up my body. I didn’t call myself Sunny for now reason. As quick as he felt the burn he pulled his hand away and shrieked.

I scooped out from under him and grabbing his leg I brought him to the floor. My heart was beating in all directions as I sat on his stomach and held his hands to his sides. He said all sorts of things and squirmed under me, clearly pissed and I smiled down at him. Ragged breaths hitting his face.

“C'mon you can take me on, I’ve seen you fight.

A soft growl built up at his neck and then he was shouting at me. “I’ll kill you!!” he lifted himself from the floor and thrusted his chest against mine knocking me back. I let out a yelp as my back hit the floor and then four fingers wrapped around my throat. I chuckled and batted my lashes to the blue haired guy sittuated on top of me.

“Angry is a good look on you boy.”

“Do you think this is a joke?” he tightened the grip on me and the air faltered.

“Nah, I just want to show off to you.” and with a smile I heated up my entire body, shinning a blinding light to his face. He fell back at the sudden heat under his hands and the rest covered their faces.

“Is that a fire quirk?” some guy asked as I sat up, he had scars all over his face.

“I wouldn’t say so, its more like, an oven or something. With light, so like the sun.” I sighed, blood was rushing through my head making everything a little dizzy but I stood up regardless. “I’m here, because I hate being in the shadows, when I was obviously meant to shine. If I can shine with the League so be it, the world deserves to see.”

“That is extremely narcissistic.” another guy says, “You’re so cool!” he then adds with a higher tone.

The leader was in front of me again, growling slightly, still pissed for what I could see. His eyes trailed down at me, and he noticed most of my clothes burned off by my quirk so he quickly looked away. “Not a good enough reason.”

“What’s that handsome? Do I need to have some sad background story or something? You will benefit from me, that much is clear. And I would sure appreciate the sight of you every once in a while.”

His eyes widened a bit, and he looked taken a back for a small fraction of a second.

“What? No one ever tell you they wanna play with your hair or press up against you?” I shrugged, he was a tall guy with big hands, for all I cared it was better for me if nobody else chatted him up.

“We will test you.”

“I’m dying to see what kind of tests you’re gonna do to me.” I winked and catched only a slight look at his skin lighting up as I turned around.

NSFW part starts here./p>

The tests where not what I expected.

They had actually nearly killed me. But also I had nearly killed them too so we were even. Except Tomura and I, having analysed my fighting style already he was only beating my ass over and over. And there was a feeling building up inside of me right at the cut between grudge and want.

It became a bit more of want when I realized he had hear me compliment Dabi’s sexy scars and didn’t get flustered later when I threw a compliment his way. And I had to fix that. So the logic thing to do seemed like catching him alone and getting what I wanted, so naturally I sent everyone away from the bar in a very discreet way. And Tomura quickly caught up to us being alone and tried to escape.

“Where you going to so fast? I was hoping you’d join me.” he turned around as of he was thinking about it. “That hand on your face won’t allow me to read your expressions, so use words honey.”

“Why should I join you?” he asks, walking to the bar despite his words.

“The fact that you are intrigued by what may happen if you do.” I pour myself a drink without looking at him, bringing it to my lips as sensually as I could without looking stupid. A silence set between us.

He sat down, and I served him something too. Circling around the bar to sit next to him, I extended his drink and when I finally looked at him I was surprised to find that the hand was off. He evaded my eyes and grabbed his drink, only to stir it around. And I drank from mine.

“Hand off the face doesn’t happen often does it?” I ask, hoping it won’t drive him away. But he tells me no with his head, and I’m tempted to ruffle his hair but I hold myself back. “I’d like to hear the story behind the hands sometime.”

“Lies” he says with a chuckle and throws his head back as he downs the drink in one move.

“I meann, I would love to see if the carpets match the…” I stop when Tomura basically jumps from his bar stool and smashes his lips against mine.

At first it seems rough, but I slowly guide him into a softer rhythm. Putting my hand on his shoulder and setting my drink aside. He sets himself between my legs amd grabs the back of my knees to lift up to his waist. A small moan escapes the back of my troath when I find that he is basically on top of me and he leans me back against the bar shelf.

I grab onto the back of his neck and lift my waist to his. The kiss gets more intense and he slides a hand inside my pants, running a finger up and down my heat. I break the kiss only to whimper and he bites my chin.

“You’re a bad liar.”

“Then teach me how to lie baby.” he snorts and kisses me again.

“Cheesy.” I chuckled and throw my head back.

“Fuck you” And to this he finally slides a finger inside, quickly adding another and getting a moan out of me.

“We will get there in a minute.”

With his other hand he starts undoing my pants and I help him out. And when I am only in panties and starting to sweat I pull away and sit on top of the bar shelf, and unspoken dare. And his eyes sparkles back at mine, a smile creeps up at him as he commands me to lay down. I obey him.

In a swift movement he is on top of me a devouring my lips, lifting my shirt only enough to sneak a hand to my breasts. I grind unto him through our underwear and he sighs. I bite his lower lip and pull on his hair a bit. Having a small growl come from his throat when I go a little to hard.

“I KNEW IT! That’s 100 bucks you owe me!! My eyes open wide at the voice and we both sit up, looking at the door.

“Cmonnnn on the bar!? we’re not touching that again” Twice looks away while Toga nudges him “Oh man I wished I’d done it in the bar.” that’s Twice for ya.

“If you knew it then why come back?” I ask, opening my legs more just to mess around with them but Tomura smacks my thigh closed and I look at him.

“I want you on my bedroom, right now” the command is so harsh leaving his lips I don’t hesitate to jump down and make my way up to it, taking one last look at Toga and Twice, realizing they’d tell everybody. And realizing I didn’t give a shit. I felt what was under those boxers, it was enough to keep me happy for weeks and then some.

“Don’t you keep me waiting Shigaraki” He lays his eyes on me and they go down to my ass as I go up the stairs, and his erection is present again.

“That’s luck right there man.”

“Keep your eyes away or I will rip them out.

I giggle at the top of the stairs and then I feel Tomura climbing up behind me.

I was most definetly getting what I wanted.

[uygmoeb]

Ahh I know but still, it is ok to not reply right away and don't mind the extra wait (or unless my ask suddenly gets send to pluto and never returns xD) but I am happy to hear today is a better day for you! As it should be my bean, showers and specifically warm ones are the best for sure! Its why I take a little bit too long with them dhshdh oopsie.

Oohh well I'm no expert with jobs as I have yet to get one myself but I do always like to say, you happiness is important so if you do want to go back to the old one that is fine (of course easier said than done)

Jdjsjdjs oof yeah it can be like that, especially if you are new to the fandom as well and you're like a goldfish the entire time haha. I'm sure the gifts you made are amazing, I can very much understand the like, feeling of not feeling the most proud when it comes to creating something (especially of you say make gifs on photopea and not ps like myself) but it is the thought that counts! You put the time and effort and that is important! If someone has a problem with that, well slap them with a fish. They are not worth your time tbh. I do think pre-planning helps if you are in more than one! You can start with a basic idea of like to do or you like doing and then slowly build the idea as you get to know the person!

Right!? I know it is silly to think big cc on here you cannot talk to them but seeing as some of them are like, flippen taemin level but for tumblr it is a bit scary to talk with them at first xD but once you kinda get in the flow it isn't scary (I say this as I talk on anon for like all of the popular blogs lol) nice anons are more needed indeed. Its just wholesome to make someone just smile with a nice message and no I completely understand! Welcome to the club of overthinking auggie xD this is the cool kids club djjahdjs jokes aside I get that, especially if you can't help but think how it sounds like does it sound too sarcastic or may it sound a bit off? I don't mind long asks (as you can tell lol) because idk, I like to ramble and bounce off people when on the roll lol

Ok that shall be all, I hope you have a good day today! Stay warm and we are legit like 5 days away from the holidays ahhh ~moa Santa

i take like.. hour long showers some days it just happens i swear hskfdjfk but how've u been my love?? i know u finished all ur gifts so what else have u been up to? anything fun?

ah well i would go back if it didn't require taking a pay cut, losing manager status, and uh. moving 14 hours away from where i am now lmao i would move back if i thought i could do it by myself probably.. but that's not in the cards for me anymore and its ok, ive got a job here now and i think things are getting better

so my problem with making my gifts is my art program sucks so bad.. it leaves everything pixelated and messed up if im not super duper careful with it.. but it was free and ive had it since i was 12 probably?? and uhm change is difficult for me but honestly just u saying that made me feel better and i think im gonna go work on the first one to make it better if i can so wish me luck <3 i bet it also helps if u dont procrastinate too lol bc i procrastinated so hard and now here i am jdhfkdhs

yeah ! at some point i had to start being like 'they're just people too' like.. theyre not just a cc theyre a whole person whos probably really nice thats always been my problem anyway is thinking theyre like... above the average person, or even that they arent people kind of yknow??? does that make sense to u? sorta like the same thing some people do to idols i guess but also not quite?? idk its hard to explain how i think but i tried hskfhsl

i would like my one way ticket out of the overthinking club pls ive been overthinking for years my brain hurts :/ nah bc sometimes when i text ppl or anything like that im like. what tone am i giving rn are they gonna think im being an ass when im just joking or?? and thats why i love tone indicators so much now bc it makes it so so much easier for me and so many others too and ngl i actually prefer long asks like all the time. so much easier to ramble and pick up things to talk about which is something i've adored about yours from day one, i feel like its always been super easy to talk to u and i love that so so much u also always have made me feel comfy with u, like almost instantly too and i usually have to warm up at first

not u opening my eyes to the fact we're five days away from the holidays technically only four as im answering this but eh are u excited tho?? bc i can say that i am, i have so many gifts to give i'm so tired of waiting ! albeit i do need these days to finish a few lol besides the point ig

also adding this on about an hour and a half after i initially answered bc guess what!! i finished my gift for the event finally!! im actually rlly happy with how they turned out now after fixing some stuff :)

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Absolution

Many hypothetical people who I made up have asked: Rad, since you’re such a massive Radiohead nerd, and are apparently into Coldplay as well somehow, how do you feel about other big UK alt-rock things? To which I will say, yeah, they’re pretty good, love me some Franz Ferdinand, Arctic Monkeys are good, I think Hard-Fi are super underrated.

“What about Muse?” the voice in my head says, attempting to pierce me with a single question.

Unfazed, I answer, banishing this dialogue from the script. I like them well enough? I have most of their albums on CD, but I’ve also not gone out of my way to listen to them in quite some time. So I guess we’re answering that question, and this time, we’re doing it with Absolution.

From what I can recall, this album was the one where the band tried to break away from being Radiohead-lite and developed their own style properly, which does show in a fair few tracks. But also, I only remember like 3 songs from this album, so this is going to be a learning experience for all of us. Shall we?

The album starts with a 22 second introduction. It’s marching and drums that leads into the start of track 2. Snore.

Track 2 is Apocalypse Please, a dramatic, piano-driven track that is mixed like shit (more on this later). Maybe it’s just the version I’m listening to, but everything is so utterly muddied aside from that piano and the synths that eventually come in. It’s a little frustrating, because the song would probably pretty alright, if I could actually hear any of it. The other elements of the track are playing off that piano nicely, I think, and the vocals do work with the style they’re going for. I know Matt Bellamy’s vocals aren’t really for everyone, and they can definitely get grating at times, but I do think this song suits them.

Next up is Time is Running Out, which I’m pretty sure is just one of Muse’s most iconic tracks. It’s no Supermassive Black Hole or big pop hit like Starlight (both coming from the next album, Black Holes and Revelations), but it’s overall just a very solid rock song. An extremely mid-00s chorus sandwiched between groovy verses and big handclaps and drums. I don’t know if the drums get enough credit on this song, their bit in the second and third prechorus is exquisite.

Muse is kind of interesting to talk about from a thematic perspective, because much of their work, especially on this and the next few albums, are going for this real larger-than-life, super big and important sort of vibe. And while there are some songs that do earn that, it can get to be a bit wanky at times. I don’t think Time is Running Out falls into this trap too much, but I’d argue the next one does.

Sing for Absolution, the title track, doesn’t really do it for me. It’s kinda hymnal, which is a fine thing to do in a rock song, but it also ends up being extremely plodding as a result. Even as the track picks up in the back half, it’s just sort of boring for me. I feel like you have to be fully committed to what the album is going for to really appreciate this, and I’m very much not at this point. Like, you put this as the third real song, and Time is Running Out isn’t as on-theme, so your big moment kind of lands as a whiff. Given time to breathe, maybe this track would sit better for me, but not here and not now.

By contrast, I fucking love track 5: Stockholm Syndrome. It might be my favourite Muse track, seeing as its just them unequivocally going for a banger- the drums are popping off and the guits are jamming, making it possibly the band’s heaviest song (to my knowledge, at least, though I suppose Psycho exists). That prechorus hits like a ton of bricks, and while the chorus is still incredibly Muse-y with the lyrics and spacey vibe, it works a lot better as a contrast to what surrounds it. I guess maybe it’s just because I’m a sucker for hard rock, but this song goes and I’m not afraid to admit that.

At this point, though, I’m wondering if the mix issues I think I’m having are a result of the Spotify version of the album, or if it’s my headphones. And…yeah, fuck, it does seem to be a Spotfiy issue! I peeped Apocalypse Please and Stockholm Syndrome on random youtube uploads, and they sound way better. It would appear that Spotify’s version of this album is just kind of dogshit, so I’d recommend listening elsewhere! Here’s a good Youtube upload of the Japanese edition, though Muse’s own page also works.

Now that that’s over with, I can start shitting on things that actually matter. Like the next song, Falling Away With You. It’d been a while since I’d heard this track, so when it was going through the incredibly boring first section, I was ready to dismiss it entirely. It does pick up, though, so I suppose I won’t just consider it completely shite. I do like the chorus, but frankly, that’s kind of all the track has going for it. There’s a synth element that reminds me of We’re Finally Landing (aka that song that Summoning Salt uses for all those videos), but that’s not really enough to keep me going, yknow?

We then have an Interlude. It would be remiss of me to complain about these, considering how much I love A Thousand Suns, but I’m not going to spend long talking about it. The riff is good?

Hysteria is another of Muse’s best-known songs, and the one I always kinda forget about. Don’t ask me how, this song absolutely goes. It’s got the fuzzed-out vocals, its got riffs for days, it’s got a tempo that doesn’t let up, it’s just a very good rock song. Unlike several other tracks on this album, it doesn’t have any interest in wasting time- there are no stops on this train. The bridge is great, and the incredibly intricate bassline is absolutely killer. I’m going to try to not forget this track exists again, because it’s genuinely quite good.

 The next song is one called Blackout. There really are a lot of songs with that name, as it turns out, though I’m going to take this moment to reiterate that the Linkin Park song with that name is criminally underrated. Muse’s take on the title is kind of a surprise- it’s an orchestral, slow dance-esque track, that steadily gets more eerie as the vocals rise. And then there’s just a static-y thing that inserts itself in, and like, I get what it’s going for, and I do feel like they needed something extra for that part of the song, but I’m not sure this was the best thing to go with. I thing the song is on the whole solid, though its one of those ones were I cannot imagine listening to it out of context. Not my style, I suppose.

Track 10 is the last single from the album, Butterflies and Hurricanes. I actually really like the build this song starts with, what with the lyric “your time is now” referencing Time is Running Out. And then that piano kicks in, and the song get’s fucking good. I feel like much of the album is going for that apocalypse vibe, but this one really captures it. Something about this piano line makes me think of looking out on a city as the buildings start to crumble.  This isn’t your final boss theme, but this is the one for when you’re starting to head for the final battle, you feel? The whole track drops out for a piano interlude, much more grand and orchestral than previous songs (save Blackout), which is fine but it goes on for just a little too long- I’d rather be listening to the other sections, you know? It does elevate the song’s final act, but at some point they needed to stop fucking around there- reminds me of Tame Impala’s Let It Happen. I bet the radio/single edit does the same thing that one does. Overall good despite that section, but it does frustrate me.

We’re onto The Small Print, a track that is apparently determined to prove me wrong when I said that Muse didn’t really do hard rock tracks that much. This song is very much a mid-00s alt-rocky banger with all the trappings and pop-punk/nu-metal influence that comes with that title. And while I am a major sucker for that era of music, there isn’t much distinguishing this track from all its compatriots in that group. It’s fun, though! Slap it on your emo/punk playlist, you won’t be disappointed, but it’s not game-changing.

The next song is Endlessly, unless you followed the link I posted earlier, because apparently the Japanese edition just sticks the bonus track here instead. I actually do remember this song, but I don’t really have much to say about it. It’s basically fine, but it was also uninteresting enough that I started working on my resume rather than take notes. It’s an Album Track, with all that implies in this context.

Our pseudopenultimate (I’m counting the bonus track, so) track comes in the form of Thoughts of a Dying Atheist, which has a vocal line I do really like, but at this point listening to the album, I’m tired. I’m at the point where I’ve had enough. I’m afraid of this colouring my opinion of the song! But beyond that little vocal trail, the track doesn’t have that much to say for itself that the album doesn’t already. I feel like I harp on about “album tracks” a lot, so let me be clear- I do think when you’re going for a specific theme or vibe, you do need songs like this to solidify it. And no album is going to be 10/10s all the way through, solely through the variance of opinion. There’s nothing wrong with them, is what I’m saying, and in fact I know several in this mould that I dearly belove. But since many won’t stand out to me, I won’t have much to say about them, and so they aren’t going to particularly pique my interest.

Technically the last song on the album is this one, Ruled by Secrecy. It’s got this mysterious vibe that genuinely reminds me of the quieter moments of the Portal 2 soundtrack, which for the unfamiliar is in fact a compliment. It does feel like an appropriate closer, a sense of finality carried by that ever-present dramatic piano action- this would probably make a good credits/denouement theme for a movie, actually. Again, though, I don’t really have much to compliment it for beyond that- the orchestral instrumentation works well for what the song is going for, but the package isn’t anything truly special. Kind of a frustrating place to be.

The bonus track attached to I believe just most versions of the album at this point is called Fury, formerly a B-Side on Sing for Absolution. It has a pretty sicknasty menacing bassline that dominates the verses, and a fairly interesting staccato for the chorus- honestly the instrumentation on this track is quite solid in general. I can see why it got the upgrade to album status, though listening to it after Ruled by Secrecy’s quiet end is going to be awkward. My own CD of this song actually doesn’t have this track, so I’ve never heard it before, and I gotta say I do quite like it. The bridge goes pretty hard, too. It’s a shame the vocals are pretty whatever, but also, they’re low in the mix below the bits I care about, so I’m less worried about that. Overall I like this a lot better than, like, half the “actual” album tracks.

This concludes Absolution. When I was doing a spot of research on this album, I found out Kerrang listed this as the second-best album of the century (as of ’09), which seems utterly absurd to me. The album is largely Pretty OK, not nearly close to that level of greatness, and yet I’m pretty sure it’s considered some of the band’s best. I unfortunately think that, to me, this album suffers from one of the most damning issues any alt-rocky, artsy album can have- it’s a Singles album. One where the gap in quality between the a few tracks and the remainder is great enough that there isn’t a huge reason to listen to the whole thing. It’s a real shame, because I recall liking this more, but that’s the way it is for me at the moment.

I do feel like I have to stress that: this is like, my opinion, man. I know this album means a lot to a lot of people, and that’s entirely valid. I mean, enough people liked it that it went Platinum in the US, Australia, and three times over in the UK. But it doesn’t resonate with me in the same way.  Maybe it’s just that in our modern ages, dramatic apocalypse rock doesn’t resonate as strongly, because at this point, the apocalypse is banal, it’s what we’re living through at this point. The sounds of the end of the world aren’t dramatic pianos and stretched vocals to me, it’s the sound of highways and newsreels. I guess 2004 just had a different zeitgeist.

[kimchichigay]

first love with jaemin

dO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING BEING NA JAEMIN’S FIRST LOVE AND HIM BEING YOURS MY HEArT alright before we start this is my first time making something like this so pls be patient with me

• ok this twerp would definitely be the kind to slyly drop a lot of subtle but not so subtle hints that he likes you before y'all started dating

• hints as in I’m talking about lOTS OF SKINSHIP AND BEING SUPER CLOSE AND INTIMATE WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT KIND OF INTIMACY dONT GET YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST YA NASTY

• like for example he’ll tuck your hair to the back of your ears like its nothing and then flashing you his million dollar smile

• or him telling you some cringey pick up line that is worth punching his beautiful face for poor chenle nearly threw up his lunch when he overheard you both

• BUT WHEN HE FINALLY THINKS ITS ABOUT TIME TO CONFESS HIS FEELINGS PROPERLY HE’LL BE THE CLUMSIEST LIL SHIT EVER

• HE BE TRIPPING OVER HIS OWN FEET AS HE MAKES HIS WAY TO YOU OR EVEN FALLING FACE FLAT oN FHE GROUND POOR BABY

• HE STILL TRIES TO BE COOL THO

• donghyuck, jeno and chenle makes sure to film everything down and probably make a meme out of his mishaps

• mark and renjun are probably just there for emotional support

• he’ll probably begin by wiping his sweaty (ew) palms on his trousers and nervously clearing his throat cORNY I KNOW

• you will most probably be like ??!??? at first but then you realise what was going on the second you saw the trash can moved behind jaemin. you knew this was bound to happen so you secretly kept it inside of you knowing too damn well jaemin will appreciate it if you pretend not to know anything for his sake

• this hopeless romantic smh

• “ok so y/n there’s this thing I’ve been trying to tell you all along. this may sound ridiculous but this takes so much courage from the bottom of my heart and the strength of jaehyun and yuta hyung’s fist to knock some senses into me. and if I don’t do this now johnny and ten hyung are going to call me a wimp and I have to buy them pizza later because I proved their point. I–”

• but who the hell said you were good @ keeping your mouth and excitement shut you can’t stand the tension anymore too either so lmaO

• “I like you too jaemin.”

• “pls do not interrupt me y/n”

• before he could say the three little words he’s been dying to say, he took a deep breath but stopped half way, opening his half lid eyes widely after his mind was able to process

• “wait what”

• “SHE SAID SHE LIKES YOU DUMBASS”

• “SHUT THE HELL UP DONGHYUCK”

• “can I come out now???” jisung’s head pops out of the bushes

• long story short jaemin was finally able to claim your heart that day and jisung got ant bites from hiding in the bushes for too long with the bouquet of flowers jaemin planned to give you after his confession

• the dream unit with the exception of jaemin also found their new source of entertainment from the video they got that day

• NOW DATING JAEMIN YES LETS GO ONTO THE DEETS

• NA JAEMIN IS DEFINITELY THE TYPE OF BOYFRIEND WHO WOULD SPOIL YOU WHENEVER

• he’ll get you small lil gifts of whatever reminds you of him

• that hair clip??? ITS CUTE BUY IT FOR Y/N that necklace?? A MUST BUY !! THAT LIMITED EDITION PIKACHU DOLL?? SCREW THAT VIDEO GAME WINWIN HYUNG WANTED HE CAN LIVE WITHOUT LIKE HE DID FOR THE PAST 19 YEARS

• he’d even turn up at your house at 2am with fried chicken if you text him at night saying you’re hungry GOALS YALL

• HES ALSO KIND OF LOWKEY LIKE YOUR 2ND MOM LMAO

• I call him dropping by your classroom during snack breaks/lunch breaks with food with him, knowing so damn well about your horrible habit of skipping on your meals

• he would force you to eat with him or at least take a few bites from the food he specially prepared/bought for you

• cOUGHS HE ONLY BOUGHT/PREPARED YOUR FAVOURITES COUGHS

• and didn’t he say he enjoys cooking in the dorm too?? imAGINE HIS HOME COOKED FOOD MADE WITH HIS LOVE

• I’m crying blood

• AND IF YOU REFUSE IM 999999% SURE HE’LL FEED YOU PERSONALLY

• “say ahh, y/n”

• “jaemin I said I’m not hungry”

• “stop lying through your food deprived mouth and eat!!!”

• “jAEMIN!!”

• “LISTEN IM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU FINISH THIS LUNCH BOX”

• JAEMIN WOULD ALSO BE KINDA PROTECTIVE BUT NOT CRAZY PROTECTIVE YKNOW

• HE’LL ALWAYS CHECK ON YOU IN BETWEEN TOILET BREAKS BY WALKING PASS YOUR CLASS AND TRYING TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

• AND THE SMILE OH NY GSKDNDN THAT SHEEPISH SMILE HE’LL GIVE YOU WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO GO AWAY IN EMBARRASSMENT JSNNDKEBXOEKE

• but lbr it’s either that really cute BF material kind of smile he be giving you through the window or that weird derpy smile he always has when he’s being dumb

• either way you’re embarrassed by this goofball

• and to add on to your embarrassment, he knows that some of your classmates may be watching the two of you so he’d blow kisses/make kissy faces at you

• he just absolutely loves to see you blush because it’s just so cute to him and he loves cute things especially you you’re his favorite cute thing and he wants to keep you by his side forever

• FIRST KISS YES

• YOU CAN NOT FORGET ABOUT FIRST KISS

• AND yALL KISS ON YOUR FIRST DATE TOO OMG SO IMA INCORPORATE BOTH PLS BE PATIENT WITH ME YALL

• because jaemin has been receiving lessons from his hyungs on dating it isn’t surprising that he brought you to the movies on your first date not because it highly suggested by his hyungs…

• you both agreed to meet outside the movie theatre and he was there an hour early and boy was he nervous as heck

• the older members were also there for a little while to prep him up aw how supportive

• sO after giving him half an hour long of prep talk and re-styling his hair (for running through them anxiously mULTIPLE OF TIME) ITS FINALLY TIME

• YOU TURNED UP RIGHT ON TIME AND YOU SAW HIM STANDING THERE OUTSIDE DAZING OFF INTO THE DISTANT

• HE LOOKS SO GOOD JUST STANDING THERE AND YOURE LIKE ‘tF HO W IN THE WORLD DID I END UP WITH HIM BLESS’

• pls excuse me for a moment here oh my god na jaemin is seriously one of the most attractive 16 years olds I’ve ever seen f U CK CALMD DJOWN

• ok lets get back

• IT WAS THEN YOU START TO FEEL THAT WEIRD FEELING IN THE STOMACH LIKE YOURE ABOUT TO THROW UP FROM THE NERVOUSNESS AND ANXIETY BUILDING UP INSIDE YOU

• BUT YOU STILL APPROACHED HIM ANYWAYS FROM BEHIND AND WHEN YOU FINALLY REACH HIM YOU GAVE HIM A LITTLE TAP ON HIS SHOULDERS

• POOR BOY WAS SO STARTLED HE JUMPED A FEW FEET IN THE AIR jk I was just exaggerating

• bUT STILL

• AND WHEN HE TURNED AROUND HIS JAW JUST DROPS THE MOMENT HE LAID HIS EYES ON YOU MAKING YOU BLUSH AND SHIT AND YOU COULDNT LOOK AT HIM IN THE EYES GOD DAMNIT SHDBNDSKDN

• SEEING HOW SHY AND EMBARRASSED YOU ARE BY HIM AND HE JUST LOVES SEEING YOU LIKE THIS ,, YOU BET MY LAST $3 THAT HE’D TEASE THE HECK OUT OF YOU

• “aigoo, my beautiful girlfriend looks even more beautiful than usual tonight. did you dress up especially for me?”

• I want to kms

• you’d just smack his arm and walk away, trying to hide your face. “let’s go buy the tickets before the show starts, you twerp…”

• the smile on his face would just become wider and he’d catch up with you, naturally reaching out for your hand and intertwining them together

• where the fuck did that nervous dipshit go and where the fuck did he find such confidence to become such a cheesy little shit

• jaemin also bought popcorn and drinks for the both of you and being the cheesy lil shit insist y'all share the drink with two straws while giving the excuse “i wouldnt be able to finish mine if we bought two” 

 • “I can buy my share myself” 

 • “nonono it’s too late for that now the movie is about to start and the line for the snacks is now really long lets go babe you don’t wanna miss out the beginning of the movie”

 • he holds your hand and leads you both inside the theatre and to your seats • “what are we watching again” 

 • “the conjuring 2” 

 • TOTALLY NOT TEN AND JOHNNY’S SUGGESTION 

 • “hmm,, ok… wAIT WHAT” 

 • you stared at him wide eyed and jaemin suddenly looked remorseful and he regrets everything especially listening to his hyungs who probably learnt all their “techniques” and “moves” from watching too much corny chick flick and kdrama 

 • “sorry, I should’ve asked you. do you want to leave right now? I can get tickets to see another movie.” 

 • THIS BOY IS LEGIT READY TO GET UP AND GET YOU TICKETS TO WATCH ZOOTOPIA IN THE THEATRE NEXT DOOR 

 • HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU 

 • but your cheapskate ass just grabs him and pulled him back down in his seat but not letting go of his hand 

 • “its fine jaemin, ive seen the trailer and my friends say it’s pretty good. let’s enjoy this movie shall we? haha.”

• though your face say yes but heart say no, jaemin was reluctant but eventually decided to sit back down when the lights went off

• “but if the movie gets too scary and you dont feel like watching it anymore you can always tell me, ok y/n? we could have dinner early or something, i’ll bring you some place nice.”

• instead of watching in the beginning of the movie, jaemin was watching you the entire time with a stupid smile of his face despite worrying over the fact that you might be scarred for life

• eventually you caught him and you had to forcefully make him stare ahead at the big screen instead. at first he was pretending but soon enough he was immersed in it

• this dipshit istg

• when the climax of the movie came, you knew what was going to happen and you immediately grabbed jaemin’s hand while following your instincts and hid behind his shoulder

• he was caught off guard at first lmao since he was too immersed in the movie that he nearly forgot that hes on a date 

• after realising you had grabbed his hand and possibly squeeze it for as long as the climax part of the movie lasted, he blushed and tries to bite back a smile from forming on his face

• and when he turned to look at you, seeing that you’ve curled up in the seat, ears covered with your other hand and eyes squeezed shut, he was this close into melting into a puddle of goo because you looked so cute and squishy and he just wants to hold you 

• and he did 

• i am trying not to scream as i type this 

• he skillfully wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his embrace, stroking your hair as he teases you “aigoo my big baby i told you we should’ve watched something else instead.”

• you both went on to watch the movie like that, you clinging onto him like your life depended on it and him enjoying every second of it and lowkey wishes the movie to be longer

• when the creepy music in the background began to play as the second climax arrive, you were already gripping onto jaemin’s arm. being the perfect boyfriend material he is, he covered your ears. (BASICALLY JUST LIKE THE WAY SUNGJAE DID TO JOYIN WGM WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE I MISS THEM SO MUCH)

• but as soon as it was over (after all that exorcism and shit and everything becomes brighter), you’ll just look up and blush in embarrassment cos jaemin was staring back at you with a smug look on his face tHIS LITTL E SHIT

• you also notice that there are red marks on his arm from where you were grabbing him so you gasped and began apologizing for nearly tearing his arm apart during the movie while gently stroking his arm while rambling on and on about how sorry you are and also complimenting how he’s practically hairless 

• apparently you were rambling on too much that he couldn’t take it??? not in a bad wAY BUT it wasn’t just your rambles that was driving him crazy 

• it was your moving lips

• yes LiPSSSS gIRL YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

• YOU GUESSED IT

• he kissed you 

• to shut you up 

• and to also finally man up and kiss you like how he should’ve 3 weeks ago when you both started dating

• mmMm gotta get me a guy like jaemin A++

• you were too stunned to kiss him back so you just stared at him wide eyed when he pulled away

• “i-what-huh-wait, jaemin-what-” you poor confused child

• “how did you know peach was my favorite flavor.” he wipes the corner of his lips as he said that with a shit eating grin, causing you to turn crimson.

• “what are you kids still doing here? the movie is over; leave.” 

• whoops 

• so basically that was how jaemin found his confidence and that was just only the beginning of this cute relationship and he just adores the heck out of you and loves you to bits you guys are practially engaged in his head and he hopes that not only you’ll be his first love you’ll also be his last iTSNT THAT THE CUTEST THING EVER

• i am crying blooODdd i hope you guys enjoyed this like how i enjoyed torturing myself ㅠㅠ

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

MAYA I TRUSTED YOU

WHAT WOULD WILL POWERS SAY

ok he'd probably be like ‘hehe; guess I'm falling further into obscurity thats cool i was never amazing in the first place’

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“theres only one!”

...that is rare

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“i traded my watch to my kooraheenese friend! it plays the steel samurai theme when it goes off!”

I SMELL A CHEKOVS GUN

-

“it sounds just like the steel samurai theme”

“no it doesn't!”

mayas right, it doesn't sound like the steel samurai's theme. 

it sounds BAD.

seriously i feel like my soul is physically rejecting it 

-

put your arms akimbo at me again young lady and ill push you into your magic soul pool.

-

“that whole séance thing makes trials completely different”

meh

speaking of trials, we’re back to trials! ya–– i dont want to deal with nahyuta

-

“you have to pitch your terrible crossover!! i won't let you down”

as much as i disapprove of the crossover let it be known that phoenix is a sweetie pie.

-

“The sacred murder dagger was used to murder someone?!?!??! BLASPHEMY!!!”

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“The lowest level of hell; the Hell of Tickling” IM KINKSHAMING KOOORAHEENISM

-

“They shall not escape on their /redtext/ Freedom Express today!”

she did it yaaaaayy!

-

U R DIARHOEA!!! KOORAHEEN!!!

well i

i cant argue....

-

oh god no t voice acting again

-

LOL YOU CAN SKIP IT AHAHHAHHA

AND THE DANCE TOO HJDSJSFAKJ

guess its not *that* important eh

-

the entire court just called phoenix a shithead. 

i mean people say “Polkhunka” when theyre surprised, and the term is “polkhunan”. so yeah. either hellion, or shithead. nice.

-

phoenix: this makes no sense 

me: ooh i cant wait for the bullshit excuse!! 

-

Well ill be damned to tickle-hell. Rayfa’s a television aerial. 

-

oh i see how they did that. i guess spirit visions have steady-cam?

-

.........he ran right into it

dude why 

-

i just love this. “yes he ran directly at the killer, to fight them! with his arms flailing in terror!! it might look stupid and fake but actually it’s kooraheen’s biggest martial art, RonDeliteFu!”

-

every time Rayfa does her hand-flinging-out pose i mistake her sash for a stick and i keep thinking she’s a muppet 

-

“we can’t let the special fires go out, so we make sure to remove the glass around them every year on top of a window mountain so that a woman can um...... walk around it i guess.”

-

i hate to admit it but these stupid pond vision things are really stumping my blind ass

-

i stg pohlkunka is the stupidest sounding made-up expletive ive ever heard

id rather heard cowabunga every time something shocking happens for godssakes

-

“wow he really does care about ema”

hey show dont tell lol

“i cant believe he's come to understand their value”

uhhh well

they stated that they still hold investigations despite their magic pool parties, so uhhhhhhh yeah???? forensic investigators are usually pretty helpful??

-

since Sadmad’s catchphrase appears to be ‘putrid’, i keep reading ‘purification rite’ as ‘putrification rite’

-

i cant believe they did a “what if... (EXTREME CLOSE UP ZOOM) PLOT TWIST?!”

-

STOP SAYING PUTRID

-

oh hey its dirty hobo man! ...also i guess the ‘sexy pan up shot’ is for every new character :/

-

hobo rangers go...

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...Nahyuta named him A’nohn Ihmus. A’nohn Ihmus.

Well that just cements my idea that Kooraheenians are just a bunch of Americans that stole a landmass and made up a phony baloney culture. 

It has been confirmed that they are legitimately just taking english words and ‘kooraheenifying’ them.

-

“i used my binoculars to spy on the rite at the inner sanctum”

A’nohn is just as perverted as his namesake from Tuhmbl’r

-

“Feh. I knew you were a fool...” 

Cue Franziska crashing her plane into the court room to yank on Sadmad’s braid to scold him for taking her word.

-

“shall be reborn as a witless sea urchin with barbs limited to your posterior”

ok well sadmad, sea urchins asses are next to their mouths... on the bottom of them. completely opposite to the, uh, you know. Spiky part.

So I’m not sure if that serves to strengthen your point or just make you look like a moron

i mean i guess it served to enhance sadmad’s point since phoenix’d be totally smooth and unprotected, but then he wouldn’t even reach adulthood so that sea otter wouldn’t come in too early and...

...he just said phoenix will be reborn as not only mentally slow but also physically deformed.

...uh... nice one, sadmad.

-

AND MAYA PULLED A REACHAROUND ON THE PRIEST 

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FROM THE HOLY MONK, GUYS

-

to be fair, she could have stabbed him with a reverse-grip or not; one doesn’t have to hold their hand at any particular to perform a reach around 

-

oh well at least the contradiction is incredibly obvious 

-

at least hobo ranger has an excuse to use words like “bucko”

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i hate that,,,, theres a rule against climbing the mountains during the rite. that means that there have been perverts of yore who tried to spy on the lady changing 

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hes gonna see her shad–– (sigh)

yknow, i dont think shadows are detailed enough to know which way someone is holding a knife.

also moonlight isn't that bright 

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DWAAYYYYMMMN

sasquatch’d!!

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ok so... does happiraki mean “hello” or “hooray!” because its been used it both contexts 

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i just realized that the Plumed Punisher theme song sounds like one of those posts where someone takes a recognizable song and fucks with it in a silly way, like pitch shifting it at awkward moments or changing the key

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i cannot believe i have to use a fucking walkthrough for this game. I'm disgusted with myself. I'm better than this.

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“no one was allowed in there and the only way up were the stairs!”

ah yes, the unguarded stairs surrounded by people who had their heads down. in prayer.

totally impenetrable. 

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“What?! This is insane!!” no no, phoenix, youre doing it wrong. you have to say “this”, then sadmad has to say “is” and then the judge has to yell “insaaaaane!!” because its funny when one person says one word of a sentence each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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‘rah rah sis boom bah, fight, fight, phoenix wright!!”

um excuse me maya who gave you the right to be cute

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why does sadmad only have one hand-guard-glove thingy

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“my bag of bluffs” is an interesting and long way to say “ass”

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they put... a maximum security prison... on top of their holy mountain. they put their criminals... on top of their. holy mountain.

they put a jail. in a church. in fact they put it higher up... closer to... god. 

what the fuck. the fourth one. only accessible by helicopter.

who was smoking what when they decided this???

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(sigh) mmmmm id been waiting to use that patchwork quilt

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“hell of hangnails”

not as fetishy but still pretty–– actually you know what that sounds kinda fucked up. isn't that just kinda G rated torture anyway 

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wow that incredibly obvious lie deserves the terrible pursuit theme??

maybe its the last one (i hope)

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“are you the rebel hunter!!??!?!?!??”

um well no, unless the rebel hunter is a criminal. jackass.

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...cutting dirty deals with criminals, are we, sadmad?

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“haha, the fact that the third person at the scene was a wanted criminal destroys your theory that it was the rebel hunter Keera that killed the high priest!!”

...wow... gosh i was wrong... and the fact that a wanted criminal was actually at the scene... doesn’t help me at all... because once i said that one person didi it, it couldn’t possibly be someone else... oh no... i guess it was Maya who did it... for reals... not the.... wanted criminal....

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...hang on, his little power rangers dance was the defiant dragons dance? how... did nobody notice this?? sadmad really was colluding with criminals wasn’t he. gosh. what a trustworthy guy.

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phoenix: oh no!! his testimony was a lie!!

oh no! the testimony that did nothing but damage your case was a lie!!! 

??????

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sadmad: get him!

hobo ranger: (does a little hop and daintily scurries off)

sadmad: ... (takes a good five leisurely seconds to stop the background music) put everyone on high alert. i want everyone after that guy

that guy who just. skipped out of a courtroom. past hundreds of crazy people and several bailiffs. 

haha... the kooraheenes police. to quote phelous... THEY’RE THE BEST!

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“what was the point of all that, anyway?”

search me, phoenix.

“well, i cant help but feel that entire episode was an enormous waste of time”

hey capcom? hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make it better. it just amplifies how much it sucks.

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“yes! i recognized that piece of paper because it looks exactly like the piece i have! thats covered in blood and unrecognizable!!!”

...nice

OH AND ITS THE PERFECT FIT TO COVER THE BLOODSTAIN WELL ISNT THAT JUST FUCKIN SERENDIPITOUS 

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“the ignorant lawyer has not bothered to learn out language??”

well A) he's not an international attorney, B) he was on vacation, not studying abroad, and C) fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. you’re all speaking english all the time anyway, you bunch of fuckin phoneys 

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i stg sadmad if you say putrid one more time i’ll cram a rotten egg down your pasty white gullet and show you the meaning of the word 

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“the criminal could have only escaped if the high priest helped him out, so why would he kill him?”

hey sadmad? remember that thing about using your putrid brain? yeah, doesn’t take too big a leap to realize that you might’ve just proved phoenix’s ‘idiot theory’ right. maybe the priest um... was a rebel??? who was going to do just that??? and the rebel killer offed his sorry ass?

perhaps, o foolish prosecutor, you should think before you open your rancid lips... lo, in your ignorance, you will be cast down to the hell of those who are kind of stupid....... the hell of perpetual fart smell. there you shall inhale the decomposing winds of ten thousand and one accursed mihtama, while fart fetishists gaze on in envy... 

oh wow i didnt even need to go on that spiel, he just admitted it straight up. but yeah, apparently when Lady Kee’ra impersonator kills a rebel, it’s A-OK. But when Maya kills a rebel, well, fuck, she’s a foreign bitch, execute her!!

also the way he said it seems to imply that he knew all along so uh

maybe people should start suspecting this guy. he seems to... know a lot of rebel criminals.

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every time sadmad shakes his head i wanna break his neck

man i remember being annoyed at edgeworth in the first game and wanting to hop my desk and rough him up, but never wanting to physically maim or kill him. you suck, sadmad. 

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WE GOT IT, FOLKS!! WE GOT THE ASSAULT!! IT’S UM, IT’S SUPERNATURAL FORCE ASSAULT THIS TIME. 

FUCK BIRDS AND SWORDS, I GUESS? ACTUAL MAGIC IS THE WAY TO GO?

hey sadmad; tickling? bondage? can we... keep that out of the courtroom please?

also “oh no! i can’t point my finger!!” phoenix cries, forgetting that he has two arms. i guess capcom won’t spring for more than one sprite tho haha

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“the keera we saw was the statue draped in the sacred robes!”

with a... knife sticking out, apparently. ok..?

also gosh, maya’s really fast, tiptoeing around the abbot, draping the costume just so, then tiptoeing back around? like lightning she is!!

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he just cut off his own theme song.

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“she used her fiendish tricks to fool the court room”

which didn’t work at all if you remember the beginning of this court so fuck you?

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“she sought to use the divination seance to mislead us!”

good going, pointing out an absolutely massive flaw in your country’s legal system, sadmad.

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i cant believe we had a flashback for absolutely no other reason than Sadmad to gloat. I FILE FOR A MISTRIAL ON GROUNDS OF MISUSE OF FLASHBACKS.

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please oh god just let it end i dont have enough space in my stomach for any more ulcers

i can’t stand hearing him say let it go one more time please I'm begging you

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oh no... phoenix has failed... he’s going to die... it’s really going to happen...

just get to the surprise witness or whatever already

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oh thank god. love you, headband guy

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“the dagger bears the finger prints of maya fey!”

wow. the police suck major ass at catching running people, but their finger print checking speed is second-to-none. ...either that or they waited a while before telling people about a dead body.......

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oh gosh!!! its totally maya!!! she arrived 2 years ago and so did lady keera and 

yeah no. it’s not her. 

but even if it was, kinda awkward there, sadmad? she’s um. kind of a hero to you.

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i dont get it why is everyone freaking out. i thought the keera impersonator was considered some kind of vigilante hero? why is it suddenly bad when they “find out” it’s maya? is it because she isn't kooraheenees?

I'm honestly really confused. everyone was rooting for the masked defender one moment, but now that its maya, it’s murder?? 

seriously what the fuck. like the gallery was legit going “ah!! lady keera has come back to save us from the rebels!”

and then its like “its not divine its some foreign bitch in a cloak” and now its like SERIAL KILLER. also, nice. we’ve never been allowed another day in court because there was a second charge racked up. awesome. (with the possible exception of Ron Delite, tho he was changing his charge)

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sadmad can go choke on his own braid and the gallery can lick their own hypocritical asses. i can’t believe i stayed up till 2 am to finish this section.