#this is just for a silly personal project dont think too hard

[musicfranchisetournament]

propaganda under the cut !!

paradox live :

ive seen my friends talk about it and also theres this really pretty girl i thibk her name is anne? i wanna kiss her mwah

The world is set in the future where the hip hop artists have these cool Phantom Metals that produce cool illusions as they perform with the downside of the performers reliving their worst trauma after using it. Every group has their own theme, aesthetic, and music style Every character has canon trauma which perfect for angst Found family It's still going on They do April Fools on the fandom every year (2024 being an ad for a cat game)

charisma house :

genuinely what the fuck. i don't think i've seen a song franchise as bonkers as charisma house and i doubt i ever will. it's so entertaining and the characters are all unhinged in the best way possible. none of them are 100% good people at the end of the day and i think this just makes the whole ordeal even funnier. are you kidding me you have some random 19 yo who invites people to go live in a random house one day and they just go. the songs are so so good (most of the time. stares at my two exceptions) and whenever it's a full group song? they're always parodies of another common popular song which is so funny to me every time i hear them. i love charisma house and will defend it to the days end

It's so silly and entertaining:) the songs are sick and super catchy . The visuals are super unique .. and the concept of these eccentric crazy guys all living in a house together with the power of charisma has some super hilarious interactions.  Also charisma is the power that can save the world.. and if these guys get too overpowered with their charisma they go through yugioh style transformations and break out into song... so there is that little detail<3

they're just ordinary guys. music part aside the story is funny until it gets serious and then it's funny AND heartwrenching. music part?? group songs are based on nursery rhymes and they fucking suck but also go so hard. their solo songs all have their own genres and they're so. Aodhajhfhdhfbd Stream viva la liberation. 

Funny gay people living in a house together and all their songs parody children's songs, and all their music videos are like Cocomelon on crack. They're funny and they have a lovely found family dynamic. Very silly guys, I'm so normal about them.

Never in my life have i seen a piece of media change me this much as a person while doing the bare minimum. Perhaps the fact that it is the bare minimum and i still fell for it regardless says more about its power than any words could ever begin to describe. So utterly ridiculous in the most perfect way possible and so weirdly deep in also the best way possible but without forgetting its still fucking ridiculous. The appeal of Charisma House is that its Charisma House, and that same thing manages to be both its strength and its weakness, but its weakness is so grand it ends up becoming a strength, and perhaps its biggest strength by far. Talking about Charisma House makes me feel insane emotions because you cant describe it as good but you still know fully well its not bad either despite that being the easiest way to describe it. Sooner than later after so many episodes you'll end up realizing you have fell in its trap. Once you start caring. Once you start analyzing the miniscule tid bits of plot. Once all of that starts occurring you will soon come to realize you have been another victim of the mystical power Charisma House has on every single person that watches it. Or perhaps you just dont fucking care after 5 episodes and you leave it at that. This is perhaps the best option for everyone in the world. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone but the fact that i still do from time to time is because i want everyone else in the world to experience the unknown horrors of this media project until each and every one of them realize they have fallen down a hole they will never be able to escape. also Awwwww ohsebso cute i like ohse aaawwwww so cute 😍

[slavhew]

murdoc for character opinions

god. murdoc. im admittedly not deep in enough to hard assess my opinions from 2018 vs now, but let's give a quick run through.

i love murdoc. but he's also hard to talk about. so i think its best to jump forward to what i find most compelling about him: it's someone's capacity to grow and change even relatively late in life.

He has a start in life that, speeding over all of THAT, leaves him a very vapid, self centered and cruel person by the time the band becomes a thing. Bit by bit, tooth by pulled tooth, he learns to see things differently.

And this is where that "canon isn't real if i dont look at it"- the continued existence of gorillaz's storyline depends on there being an antagonist, and that is historically Murdoc's role. So a lot of that development will get retconned, glossed over, etc. I don't really blame JH for that anymore, that's just how these things often go with properties that have this kind of extended shelf life.

Murdoc is a person that distills all his hurt into anger, excuses his loneliness as being "by choice" and buries trauma under ego, posturing and hypersexual behavior. But as it is when you form bonds with people, tentative as they might be, they change you. Phase 3 is the climax of this, and phase 6 was both the """final""" relapse of his bad tendencies (post TNN cough) and the end of his arc with The Lost Chord.

THAT ALL BEING SAID, he's silly to me. I count all the material of him being Oddly Polite or giggly as canon whether it's Phil Cornwell breaking character or not.

Murdoc has two faces: one for the paps, and another for the fans. One crude and attention seeking, and a softer more relaxed one for when he ACTUALLY gets to discuss his interests and the music he makes. He plays the media like a fiddle, since having eyes on him is an old skill he's long since mastered.

My possible divergences from fanon at large? I haven't been in touch lately, but I remember some interpretations being popular that I disagree with, so I'll just state my takes:

He's not iredeemable or stupid or remorseless, he grows to care about his bandmates very early on but is VERY slow on the uptake of identifying that affection, and he's much smarter than he lets on. Also no beef to people who ship 2doc but man it is just not my cup of tea. They're coworkers slash fffrriiienndsss?? who needle each other constantly.

AS FOR HEADCANONS: very simple.

A lot of his stunts in the public eye are coordinated- when he said he refuses to get on the stage on other people's terms, this includes the paps. If he's going to be hated, he might as well do that with intention and style

That being said, it's also a self-made excuse to be a debaucherous asshole as well as how he justifies the overindulgence to himself.

Selling his soul had progressive effects on his appearance

green skin, pointy ears, pointier teeth. he used to wear a red contact. he doesn't have to anymore!

the red eyes would be bilateral but in phase 5 the eye injury resulted in anisocoria- bowie-esque. He isn't sure if this is another manifestation of his deal for musical success, or karma.

because of his reduced vision and MULTIPLE stints in prison he is jumpier than ever

he has an unibrow! the fringe hides it because it grows back too fast, and murdoc is vain.

he used to have a fuller face, but as of phase 2 the stardom (drugs, poor self-care) started affecting his appearance. Phase 3 was even more brutal in terms of this. by the time phase 4 rolled around and he got clean, the buccal fat was gone for good, courtesy of plain aging!

short, skinny and not in the healthy way. again, phase 1-2 sees him develop a beer gut under xylophone ribs, phase 3 he's at his worst health-wise. Phase 4 and 6 see him put some real padding on, finally. (5 is a step back due to incarceration)

phase 5 issss fiiiineee... but i prefer respect-false-iconz (aka ezracaution)'s canon divergent exploration of it, The Code

lastly: projection? brother that's the bisexuality, shortness, edginess for show and anger issues. that's just text.

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

hear me out on this one, i know he eats junkfood (so do orthorexics okay every 3d is diferent) anyway he never does it alone. he eats junkood only with other people, and he's always thinking he'll "make up for it" later. so yes he eats junkfood and yes he is orthorexic (felt like i had to defend my point there dsfsd)

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[lostconductor]

really longwinded fuckass trans oc essay

despite being trans myself i don't really think any of my trans characters actually satisfyingly explore the trans experience to me, which is fine because a trans character can just Exist, but also i do wish i had more characters who's lives and identities are affected by being trans. because my experience so far is that being transgender has affected me in a way where i feel proud to wear the label on my lapel because i've come this far. but i find that in most of my trans ocs' stories, being transgender is either a: destigmatized and/or b: not a problem (hormones and medical transition readily available, taken care of). there's that line between "do i really want to write transphobia into a world where everyone can just be happy?" and "i want a character that's had one of the genuine modern trans experiences" (i say one of and not "the" because there is no The Trans Experience).

then theres project moon world. where gender is and isn't important because gendered bodies and traits do exist, it's literally just the names that are subverted. but (at least as far as i personally know, i dont know anything beyond lobcorp, half of ruina, and everything up to like the lab half of yi sang's canto) we don't actually see or hear any discussion of gender or gender issues, or anything implying that a gender inequality or trans people even exist. which is fine i guess. not the main focus when people are turning into giant monsters and killing each other with giant swords. but it makes it hard to picture any sort of modern experience and relationship with gender in that world that'd match up with anything we relate to. body modification is a commodity and normalized there. you can get surgery to transfer your body into a robot body as long as your brain is intact. you can replace your head now. top and bottom surgery is ancient news, that's just normal. you can replace your head with a triangle now. do people still come out of the closet? does gender even come into play with sexuality anymore? does anyone give a fuck when people are turning into monsters and shit? it sounds like a nice world, where you don't have to constantly be on defense because someone might kill you for being a little too queer, but it also makes it really hard to visualize anything you can relate to without it seeming a little old-fashioned or silly for it to even exist

in my salem world buggy / skuggy being trans was me slapping it on them because i was trans and i wanted to connect with my ocs. i honestly havent revisited them in a while so i forgot a lot but i tried to work it into their stories but mostly ended up thinking longer on it for skuggy as kind of just him crawling out of a bad home situation and him being able to transition finally being his foot down on earth away from that old life. like shedding a shell into a new one. yeah things still suck and i'm heading for a town that's going to kill me, but i finally am on t and i can start saving up for top surgery. but after that point in his life it fades to the background and it's just normal. i think my salem folks are the closest ill get to being able to explore a genuine transgender experience

farrow is weird because the entirety of his life he's been kind of accustomed to playing this certain role and sticking with it, and losing himself in the tough guy facade of uncaring manipulative loner that he just becomes it and doesn't see another way until he's literally killed for being a prick and reduced to a speck that can't hold that facade anymore after being put into his place. as a child he was androgynous and didn't care about it but was still a boy. but the moment he's forced to stop revolving his life around the sole purpose of survival (in fact probably now the opposite) and has to be forced to face what actually lies beneath that facade he's implanted into himself , that nonbinary elephant in the room suddenly gets very very big and loud and he's forced to stare it straight down. i explored his very disorienting confused tiptoes into gender expression and identity mostly in private because i got shy being anything less than funniejokes about my ocs, but it was really just "i think i might be nonbinary but i have a job so i cant think abt that rn" "oh shit im unemployed im fighting these fucking demons" "why did being called this term awaken something in me" "oh god help me". i think i explored and pushed it the absolute most in band au where it's the most similar to modern day reality and just got to make him a little thing. but it's kind of the same thing where while i did get to explore his gender presentation and his thoughts on it and how other people close to him reacted to it or affirm it it i don't ttthink it has a lot of bearing on his character. which is fine i guess. i dont know how i feel about characters who's entire basis is being trans. but i guess that is literally just how it is irl being a stigmatized group you are just Defined by it bc it affects Everything In Your Gd Life. idk where im going with this

idk the thing that prompted this is just thinking about my lobcorp ocs because it is so. HARD. to relate to any of their trans experiences or write anything resembling a modern trans experience with them. they live in a hyperdeveloped future, why Wouldn't they have access to hrt and gender affirming surgeries. why Would it have any bearing on them what gender they are, they have to go die in a Nest or smtng tomorrow. i think a lot about eva and griffin and even like myukeu or roger/mags. i'm trying to go back and think about how it might've been for eva growing up but the most i can think is that he probably just stayed in the closet until he built up the courage and his parents were just "oh okay cool i guess. maybe you wont be limited by the glass ceiling now. finish your damn homework" like just such a anticlimatic end. (but even that response implies any sort of gender imbalance or acknowledgement of gender in this world and honestly, with all the women taking leadership and even mastermind roles in this world there is no way that's anything close to canon. also i dont want to write in fuckin misogyny. but thats the thing in a modern au His Parents Would Fucking THink Like That his identity gender and all takes a backseat to his Purpose. but its hard to write that when Everyone Is Just Like That with gender). like yeah i can write this character juggling work and arranging pharmacy prescriptions and fitting in a daily t shot into his routine and having to recover after top surgery but once he's socially transitioned even if he doesn't pass it doesn't have a bearing or effect on him because It Doesn't Matter Here You're An Employee All The Same. his identity is an afterthought in the corporation. the only time it comes up is when he befriends other trans people and has that "oh hey" feeling of solidarity or when years down the line he's getting freaky with julian and has to explain no an abnormality did not scar me those are surgery scars. im trans. and then it's fine

idk this is a very looseform ramble because in the end i don't know what my actual thoughts are. i guess i yearn for just a mundane trans experience. which is why i'm so drawn to band au / modern aus of any kind because it lets me write these people being Very Mundane Normal People. sure writing them in doomed time loops and turning into giant monsters and harnessing powers beyond comprehension is fun but also i really like writing mundane shit even if its boring to read. why do you think i spamdraw post-lobcorp so much. theyre normal. anyways time to brainrot more over band au than the actual canon

also if there have been any mentions/discussions of gender in projmoon games i would 100% be down to read an analysis or whatever. this isnt a projmoon haterpost believe it or not it's just me thrashing within the nonexistent box i've put myself in.

i like mundane modern trans characters. i like trans characters that look like people i would meet irl and just Exist the way we do irl. i dont care if there is no transphobia in the world i just need to see them being mildly inconvenienced by having to do advanced aerobics to take off their binder or experience gender euphoria after wearing a tank top and jeans. i wanna see them having a sleepover and getting their nails painted for the first time and just going "oh my god i can actually be pretty thats just something i can do". idk. i think i just want to write more trans joy into my stories it's just hard when there's a more prevalent ongoing plot going on (hell timeloop and melting away of identity)

[shadow-vanilla]

Welcome to the Theatre of Lies!

(Featuring Pure Vanilla Cookie, I guess...)

Hello, hello! I'm your host, Shadow Milk Cookie, and here in the Theatre, I'm going to be doing something juuust a little different than usual, answering asks personally sent by you folks! How wonderful!

Oh, oh, oh!!!!! But I'm not doing this alone, we have a special guest joining us as well! Isnt that just.. Exciting!..

Now, without further ado... Why dont we introduce our guest? Oh, Pure Vanilly-Willy! Come now, there's sweet, precious time that you're wasting!!...

Alright, alright, calm down Shadow Milk Cookie, I'm coming now..

Ahem... Hello everyone, yes, it is true, I am stuck here with him, and we will be answering pretty much anything you will ask us, I don't know exactly how long I will be here for, but I might as well make the best of it, now.. should i handle the basic information before the people start asking questions? Or would you like to handle that instead, Shadow Milk Cookie?

Ahh, thank you for such a splendid offer! You're lucky I haven't broken that pretty little staff of yours yet... I'll be glad to handle the information that these sweet, sweet souls need to know!

Info about our lovely mods!

Mod Harper/Shadow Milk ; Helllooo!! I am the one who runs this blog! Feel free to ask me questions as well, instead of these stupid idiots! (Hey!! >:[) I go by she/him pronouns, and I'm a Shadow Milk Cookie IRL, hence the fact that I'm taking his role!!

Mod Lemon / Pv!! Hihihi everyone!!!! I uh. also run this blog. kind of. ANYWAYS you should give me questions too smh i wanna answer stuff as well >< /silly, aanyways i go by any pronouns, and im the Pv of this blog since. well. im kind of him irl soo, yeah!!!

Rules that you must respect, lest our lovely mods block you!!

We kindly ask that NO pr0sh1p, d4rksh1p, or (PROBLEMATIC) c0msh1p interacts with us! Personally, I have bad experience with pr0sh1pp3rs, and they make me uncomfortable! We also kindly request that you do not force us to respond to any of your asks! If you do, we will block you without hesitation. We have busy schedules, and we won't always respond in time.

Adding onto this, another request we have is that you dont try and make things weird, we can both become easily uncomfortable from that, and roleplay wise, dont try and play like. the creator of the universe or something like that, its just. bleh imo, also. just have some decency and common sense? It seriously isnt that hard to not be that kind of person yknow?

And now, for the final act... Info about the star of the show, me!! (And Pure Vanilla, I guess..)

Most of these are personal headcanons, and some are just Lemon and I self projecting...

Shadow Milk is autistic, and he goes by he/it pronouns! He will also sometimes refer to himself as "we"! (Despite the fact that I, Harper, am a system, I am not making Shadow Milk a system as well! I just like to imagine it occasionally uses we/us!) Shadow Milk is also Libramasculine, Greysexual, and Panromantic!

My turn :3

I only have one right now (im not a headcanon making machine like SOMEONE. (Beating you up.. -Harper) smh.. /silly) and that is that Pure Vanilla Cookie is Genderfluid and goes by all pronouns !! Definitely gonna update this in the future if i ever think of more in though :D

[murkystarlight]

Screw it.

Dreamzzz season2 spoilers pt.1

(And my personal comments)

Alright. Starting from episode 1

I didn't realize that Cooper having a sudden interest in chips would be a hint to something later(it probably isn't but it seems like it to me). Cooper apperantly had a full list of things to fix and make... also the Night Bureau really can't do their job done properly can they. How does Cooper go to school? And study? And get good grades?? Also love how everyone names their cars

It was cool seeing Sneak working with them. And Nova, too bad they... uh- dissapear after like... episode 4? I think

Mateo trying to find a way to get z-blob back, and the Nightmare king... why is he such an icon all of a sudden?? Like-

Also, I like that how Mateo got the kid show treatment. Might as well sing 'we're all in this together'

And Dallas joining the knitting club!!

It was pretty nice. Just a simple small detail, but I like stuff like that so... Looks like he's not going to be bullying anyone now

It was very fun watching the crows(ravens? Don't remember) snatch their memories. When I saw what the memories that was stolen were about I started screaming like-

I actually think they all have a good reasoning. Logan always loved his music(would've been better if he forgot how to sing entirely) , Cooper... well he's the tech guy, and for Izzie, she was the who accepted the dream world the fastest. Who liked it the most in the first season right? There are more cool and amazing reasons than this but my stupid brain can't think of anything else right now

Episode 2

Apperantly there's a lava realm? Cool

Mr. Oz being angry, Logan being.. well, Logan. And Cooper is just adorable. He's having so much trouble. His purpose in life kinda snap

And when everyone else just jumps into the castle, Izzie takes her time to take the stairs

And Izzie having trouble with "dont open your mouth" she's so funnn

I had trouble understanding Astrid-

Royce guy has a weird whistle.

Cooper looks so happy until his mind went blank and his face is just- 'dude wait, what was I doing?' I thought he lost his tech skills?? Why did he become... dumber? It's cute though

"Sorry-" _ Izzie

Also, Logan said a lot of smart stuff in this episode. One of my favorites was

"If I forgot it, how would I know?"

Mr. Oz trying SO hard not to swear. I could see the struggle-

And the flash cards 😭 when did they get a rule book?!!(first ep)

Also, how many eggs do you think Cooper cracked. How does he not remember how to not but a bolt and screw together?? Just- stick it in! Learn to do it again? Poor thing

And the Night Hunter! +Susan and Snivel. They're a bunch of sillies

Cooper getting pressured by his family again- (is it just me or does he get his character development after like... two episodes and be the one stable guy holding the team together? He's useful. Like actually useful) Cooper's voice also wouldn't stop cracking

"Do you ever get sand in your eyes? Or your shorts?" (The Sandman had legs?? Yes, had. He... he gone now.)

Also kinda funny how all of Mateo's dreamcrafting gets blob-ified

"The one time! I actually want to hear your beats, and you forget?!"

Zoey! Why would you randomly jump into a cauldron!! (Also, the Night Hunters memory being Zoey- I already had a feel)

Mrs Castillo is the best

I'm also very curious of... what or who the Never Witch is??

There is a lot of pushing and shoving people. And it's only the second episode

Also-

"So you're not the tech genius you used to be. You still got- ....uh.... what other talents do you have?"

Oh godddd noooooooooooo he said it- Oh god........

"I'm gonna go drown my troubles in the candy realm" (kids. Too much sugar isn't good for you)

(He can't even figure out how to put his phone on silent anymore) he got an A+ in a science project, by cooking?? I thought it was a SCIENCE PROGECT??

Imagine a kid suddenly pulling out an apron and asking for a kitchen to work in. During a science project (he's a chef now), he also just... kept the flan? Thing, in his locker-.... is that... okay?

I mean... I did watch this science show on Netflix about these super smart girls and their names being mc². And one of them bakes. Using science. I mean... science works in everything... and I guess if the teachers said okay then its.. okay?

Sandman and Never Witch fighting, he will be remembered. It was pretty cool actually. I wonder if they have any history

Next part

Bonus(also the reason of why I said screw it)

[timomoe]

estonia for the bingo thing

Oh god, anon, you really opened the flood gates with this one. This is gonna be a massive post, and I'm so sorry to everyone in advance.

Note: these are all things that bother me personally. I am not attempting to make anyone feel like they should also feel mad about these things. I am not out to shame anyone who has hcs that are different than my own. I'm just breaking my thoughts down. Idc how anyone characterizes Estonia.

1. I Dont Trust The Fandom With Estonia, Ever

Estonia's fandom depictions range from elegant, eloquent, intelligent, calm, and collected to creepy basement dwelling discord mod neck beard with no friends and no personality. The latter characterization is - you guessed it - a leftover from Old Fandom and is slowly dying off. It doesn't stop people from continuing to make him into an internet-y, awkward loser, though, and that's really sad to me, ngl. A lot of people see him as a weak, lonely loser, when this is actually extremely removed from canon. Ofc, headcanons are fine, but I see a surprising amount of people who think this characterization is canon, when in reality, it's just fanon. Canonically speaking, Estonia is very good at making friends and is easily able to maintain good relations with most of the nations. He's perceptive and able to read the feelings of people around him. He has lots of hobbies that he's really good at, too. He's smart and good with money and business. According to Himaruya, he SMELLS LIKE MONEY (which I just think is funny).

Nowadays, the fandom is usually nice to him, but unfortunately I do still see ppl completely mischarachterizing him and his relationships, especially when it comes to the Nordics. I think people tend to forget that Estonia is on good terms with every Nordic except for Iceland, and it isn't for no reason. Estonia shares very strong history with Denmark, Sweden, and Finland - a majority of the Nordics - and Norway seems to like him - or at least tolerate him - too. In the series, Estonia sees Sweden as a mentor figure, and he deeply respects him and his opinions. Finland is Estonia's best friend. Denmark and Estonia are on good terms. Their relationship isn't expanded on much, but Denmark never so much as implies that he thinks Estonia is annoying or a try hard. Norway, notorious teaser and pain in the ass (affectionate) also never teases or takes a jab at Estonia on screen or in the manga.

He's friends with people like America - the two work on silly little projects together just for shits and giggles. Oddly, America seems to treat Estonia quite well; from the little we've seen of their friendship, it seems like the two have been friends for a while, at least since 2007, as "The Gentle Fight Between Russia and I" is based off the 2007 Russian cyber attacks on Estonia. That's around 16 years ago, now.

As mentioned previously, Estonia is also frequently viewed as being wimpy and weak, when this is not the case. People usually tend to point to Estonia's time in the Soviet Union or the first time that Sweden and Estonia meet to back that up, but I counter with this - Estonia was actively being colonized at both of those time periods. The strip "The Violent Mr. Sve of Northern Europe Takes a Swing," is set at the beginning of the Swedish Era in Estonia. It details just how Sweden got ahold of Estonia to begin with - by being generally terrifying on accident. Prior to this point in time, though, Estonia was being treated badly by literally everyone around him (Teutonic Knights, Baltic Germans, etc.), so of course he would assume that this new man was here to treat him similarly (especially if you consider Estonians and Swedes had squabbled in the past over various things, and Estonia ALSO burned down Sweden's first capital.)

As far as the Soviet Era is concerned, Russia was extremely abusive to all of the Baltic States, dishing out really nasty punishments to them - going so far as to kill Latvia (albeit on accident) - when they speak out or annoy him. Of course he would be afraid of him.

Now, though? Estonia is daring and confident. He isn't afraid of Russia and routinely mouths off to him, challenges, stands up to, and outsmarts him. Even if he was afraid before, he isn't now. He has, seemingly, come back into himself. Yay character progression!!

2. I Know Him Better Than The Creator, Yaas, Queen, Give Us Nothing, & If I Could Save Him From the Narrative, I Would.

I know I just wrote 6 whole paragraphs about why I like Estonia's canon depiction, but I have to be 100% honest, I'm also not the biggest fan of Himaruya's interpretation of Estonia. There are good things about him, and I enjoy a lot of what he's put out, but at the same time there are things about him in canon that really annoy me.

For one, despite Estonians being very fond of their country, its history, culture, and language, Estonia... Isn't. At all. He is obsessed with being a Nordic, does not really treat Latvia and Lithuania well (which is strange imo, bc due to shared oppression, history, and struggle, the Baltic States are pretty tight knit.) and doesn't seem to care that it hurts them to know he would rather be a Nordic than a Baltic, and he seems to think that becoming a Nordic will solve a lot of his problems. He talks more about how cool Finnish culture is than he does his own, and that's really disappointing to me because when it comes to history, culture, and language, for Estonia there's so much to talk about.

Like let's think about the Eesti Can't Into Nordic joke that's running in the series. I'd like to remind y'all (/lh) that the Estonian government proposed the idea of Estonia being Nordic only once. One time. And the reason it failed was two-way. Not only did the Nordic nations not care, but Estonians were generally against it.

As far as I know, it's got to do with previously stated attachment to the other Baltics, and also because of their flag. For those who don't know, the Estonian flag was a banned symbol in the USSR, and anyone caught with it could face some pretty hefty punishments. The only reason we still have the original Estonian flag is bc two college dudes were like "mine vittu, venelased!" *Spits on the ground and shoves the Estonian flag behind a chimney where it will stay safe.*

Also. The joke about Estonia wanting to join the Nordics seems silly, as there's been this neat little thing called the Nordic Baltic 8 that's been around since the 90s. There's already an entire organization made up of all the Nordics and Baltics with the point of it being mutual aid and cooperation. Meaning all of the things Estonia thought he'd get by becoming a Nordic have already come to fruition.

On top of that, it had been a symbol of Estonian endurance, freedom, and perseverance for decades by that point. People were so attached to it and adverse to making the tricolor into a Nordic cross, so the idea died.

Edit: was also reminded by an Estonian friend that some of the suggested designs for the first Estonian flag were in fact in a Nordic Cross pattern, but they all lost out to the tricolor, meaning that whole idea wasn't just rejected once, but twice.

There's also something about his name that annoys me a little. While I believe it was genuinely an accident, Eduard's name is surreal. Let me explain what I mean. Himaruya tends to legacy name his characters. England is named for king Arthur, Sweden's last name is taken from a Swedish writer, Finland is named after Väinämöinen, Latvia is named after a Latvian singer.

The only person in Estonian history of any note with the last name Von Bock was a Baltic German man who, among other things, hated ethnic Estonians and believed them to be subhuman. Bit of an oopsie to give him a name like that. Not even Eduard is an Estonian name, it is just the Estonianized spelling of a German name too. Eduard isn't so bad though, since it is actually a common Estonian name.

3. I Want To Protect Them, Babygirl MF, They're Like a Brother to Me, & They're So Cute When They're Bleeding.

Ok so the basics of this one are: I love Estonia, he's a weirdo, he's my favorite, I only ever want good things for him, and yet every single time I write anything involving him, it always winds up being angsty as shit and sad. I am not allowed to let this man be happy, IG.

[crackwhorism]

heyyy so like a completely sane and hinged normal person i just watched all of 'in the heights' umm 😗

first of all i love stephanie beatriz and i love that shes in it and nina has absolute killer cheekbones omg, also i love watching shit in spanish and dont enough so thank u 🫶🫶

poor nina omg i instantly loved her and felt bad for her in the beginning :(( also i absolutely loved usnavi hes so charming and lovely and vanessa slays so hard oml, and sonny hdjdksjsj hes so silly i love him but at the same time hes such a good guy and has depth to him yk, i love it when all the characters have a story and not just one (that doesnt happen in the american shows i watch 👀👀 no hate to them tho i still love them)

the song u sent me which was already so beautiful was even more so in context and ur absolutely so right benny is such a sweetheart oh god i loved him but at the same time when he teases usnavi jdksjaj

and omg nooo nina theyre not LISTENING to her :((( my baby ahhhh its killing me and benny saying 'youre not hearing her' I LOVE HIM what a cutie omg

also can i just say abuela claudia slays and i LOVED her story, she kinda made me think of my mum ngl and also her death was so beautiful and bittersweet and the song after was so beautiful too

and unavis daughter was so cute omg she was adorable and i loved her

i felt a special connection to sonny too for some reason, new projection character?? 🤭

vanessa and usnavi were killing me too like omg just get together !!!!! >:(

i loved the ending tho and the bodega painting thing was so sweet aw oml

i usually dont like watching movies bcs they dont impact me the same as series bcs its just not long enough a time to get through all the characters and get to properly know them but this one was different, i loved everything about it, it was genuinely so beautiful and i spiring and like euphoric in a way if u get what i mean?

anyway now that i've watched it i can proudly say that i find myself equipped to be your benny 😤 (i hope you dont think im insane now)

omfg alex ily wtf

ITS SO GOOD LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME. like its the first movie that comes to mind when i try to think of a perfect movie (i have a mixed playlist for the movie and the broadway musical because it left out some songs but its so full of life and colour and i love it so much). and the funny thing is i normally am not a movie person too but this was so long and i still loved it

anyway you're insane and i love you

NINAAAA LITERALLY THE LOML SHE'S SUCH A MOOD AND SHE AND VANESSA ARE BOTH SO FUCKING PRETTY AND BADASS

you're so right about the american tv shows and you should say it. also YES SONNY LITERALLY THE MVP HE'S SO SO SO REAL AND EVERYTHING

every character is so beautiful and complex and i love them so much. also usnavi is a butch loser lesbian i don't make the rules <3

anywayy i was already deep in the obsession but youve made me want to watch the movie yet again brb kjfdhgkjfdh

[unculturedswine69]

Introduction! (2024)☆

Its about time to re introduce myself, since i made my first introduction post in 2021,ive been editing it as ive been going along but honestly i would just feel better making a new one now!

First of all, if you want links to accounts on other websites,or you wanted more info on commissions, OR you just wanna see a full list of my interests...Click on my carrd link! (bottom of the post)

Intro starts NOW!☆

AGE: 19 (8th may)

NAME: Ali, Paris, Sheetz, honestly you can just call me whatever! But Ali is preferred these days :)

PRONOUNS: He/Him + They/them, you can use either of those but currently i prefer He/him!

LIKES: Anime,Manga,Games,Art,Cosplay,Otome games, Etc. to list some things im currently into right now ~ Gintama, The muppets, Jerma985, 18trip, A3! ,Fullmetal alchemist: Brotherhood and Digimon adventure! i rotate my interests around alot, please check out my carrd to see more :)

DISLIKES AND DNI: Proshippers, Racists, Homophobes, anyone like that! i understand you probably wont listen to me anyways but i still want nothing to do with people like that ^^

EXTRA INFORMATION ☆

This is my main blog! ill mostly be spamming random fandom related things, sometimes i might reblog a post that might be a bit nsfw somehow (nothing explicit, just dirty jokes and the like) but i advise minors to be wary!!! i also just want to say that i dont want to be close with minors, we can chat occasionally but i dont think its appropriate to do anything more than that! ^^ and also remember that regardless of your age you should be polite and responsible on the internet! (said by the stupidest person on here (me))

im a digital artist who mainly focuses on my OCs while sometimes drawing Fanart, i also open up Commissions every once in a while,id like to do this as an actual job sometime in the future instead of just doing it for fun!

i love to discuss art with others and i also love to hear feedback and and talk about stuff like that in general, art is basically my only hobby so i have alot to talk about ^^ feel free to chat with me about it! i also dont discriminate against beginners or anyone who does art differently from me, so dont be afraid to show off your own art :) everyone is welcome here!

Im neurodivergent, Im diagnosed with Autism! which might not be important to some but for me i have a really hard time talking with others and expressing myself properly so id prefer if people knew that i had difficulty with things first,as to not have any misunderstandings ^^ i hyperfixate on things alot too, and i tend to project all these things onto characters i like.

i have mental health issues, this can mean that sometimes i dont come online for months or it can also mean i will fixate on spamming ,so my activity on this site is a little weird.please dont take me ghosting you personally!! i try to respond to everyone, im just going through some stuff <3

relating to my art and interests: im a oc x canon artist too, i make lots of ocs for my oshis and also self inserts, im OK with doubles (the same goes for Kins too!)

OH ALSO. im super bad at spelling and grammar and all that . sorry if it gives you a hard time when your reading through my stuff </333333

tldr: im just a silly guy on the internet, feel free to come chat with me! i love making friends!!!

My art account is @sheetzking its a little empty right now, but ill be uploading alot soon~☆

Thank you for reading my new intro!

[chihirolovebot]

hey, so so sorry if this is a bother, but i just wanted to thank you for writing a very good gender neutral and neurodivergent character, as i saw you were anxious about asking people to refer to them using they/them while talking with you.

it’s usually hard for me to see myself in fics, since they’re usually so stereotypically cishet female reader, but you write a perfect mix of masc and fem and it feels so real and authentic! it makes me feel so seen and it’s so beautifully done :3 also kokichi is in awe of phys’ tism and i love that for them <3

thank you so much again for creating such a wonderful story; i’m really sorry as i’m sure it gets old to hear but i just had to tell you thanks!

- sending love from a silly nonbinary neurodiverse fan :3

messages like this are never ever a bother . actually theyre what motivate me to write more than anything .

im so happy you see yourself in phys. both in terms of gender and neurodivergency. i have a strange relationship with gender in fics - irl i am fine with being seen as a woman, i dress and present in a traditionally feminine way ( longer hair , makeup, more revealing clothing i guess ) but i also like being seen as somewhat agender , so i think im a demigirl or nonbinary but fem-aligned? and when i read fic where the reader is fem, for me personally a lot of the time it feels too feminine, like im failing at being a girl . which is kind of silly but its just how it is. phys is important to me bc theyre the perfect kind of character for me to project onto; i think the best part of them is that they can be anything. if i want them to feel more like a girl or a boy, there is something for both of those, and if i want them to be completely gender neutral because im in the mood to feel completely gender neutral, thats fine too.

please dont ever ever apologise for sincerely complimenting me, and dont ever think youre a bother. messages like yours means the absolute world to me and im so thankful :> i hope you're having an amazing day my lovely <3

[sophieinwonderland]

YEAH the new person saying the endo community is a cult is so weird like heh?? im gonna try to paraphrase their comments so you can get the gist of what they say without anyone going to attack them since they are a cult survivor and i can understand why they think that endogenics are a cult, but... it's just projection imo

they see the term sysmed as terrible and say using it is a cult tactic because it compares sysmeds to transmeds (even though if u think about it for 3 seconds it's like hold on, maybe there IS a connection between between two groups of people who think the only way to experience there personhood-related thing is through suffering. who knew!)

they think being pro-endos are brainwashed and programmed to believe a certain "niche" way of thinking, which is really really silly when the "way of thinking" is "hey maybe there are other ways of being more than one person other than trauma"

theres one exerpt of a post comparing plurality to scientology and saying that endogenics think that plurality makes you a better person compared to singlets / that dissociation/identity disturbances/internal voices aren't disordered at all / are not symptoms at all. when that is factually entirely incorrect, they can be symptoms of problems and no system is better than any singlet just by being more than one person

"they actively target the mentally ill and instill fear towards them seeking treatment" as if sysmeds aren't the ones making us feel more fake and less deserving of disordered-system resources

also them repeating the idea that people think alters arent real people but soulbonds/endogenic headmates are real people, which isn't true (many alters are real people and some endogenic headmates may just be parts / not full people)

also them claiming that most endogenics are white, middle class americans with religious/christian trauma??? they used screenshots from SAS to "prove" their point which is really strange- (and also making fun of people "bastardizing other cultures" right after... like maybe, some of the people who are "bastardizing" cultures might just be engaging in their own culture? or be engaging in something so disconnected from the original concept like tulpamancy, that many non-actively-syscourse-engaging buddhists dont care and don't mind lol)

also also them reblogging from sweet-sloths-sys making fun of someone asking for money, which is the literal ONLY "pro-endo" that i've seen act like that. it's embarrassing. like we blocked that "pro endo" the moment we saw them they are just as bad as any sysmed we've seen lol no one whom i know is pro-endo agrees with their bullshit

them saying endogenics have MADD and not plurality??? what the fuck lol

and more but im getting a headache scrolling through their blog lol

and yk maybe i am looking too hard into it but when we've had moments when we were fixated on cults (especially this one youtuber who talks about a certain cult a lot), comparing that to people going "hey maybe my perspective on life isnt the only perspective, science doesnt always account for personal perspective" and supporting endogenic systems is... weird.

yeah, sure there are a LOT of cult-like behaviors in certain endogenic groups, but to call the entire thing a cult is very strange, and honestly downplays the actual cult behaviors in the sub-groups which should be talked about.

but me saying "hey maybe plurality isn't inherently a disordered experience" isn't fucking cult-behavior! at least compare this shit to the BITE model or SOMETHING lol

Thanks for the rundown!

they think being pro-endos are brainwashed and programmed to believe a certain "niche" way of thinking, which is really really silly when the "way of thinking" is "hey maybe there are other ways of being more than one person other than trauma"

Another thing that bothers me about this is that by this logic, any belief that's not mainstream could be considered a cult. That includes a ton of smaller religions. It could even include the MOGAI community, since xenogenders are still pretty niche themselves.

And I too am SO curious where their endogenic demographics come from! It sounds like they just made them up.

them saying endogenics have MADD and not plurality??? what the fuck lol

I've seen this take several times, and it's just total medical misinformation.

If you have daydream characters with a will of their own who takeover your body, those aren't just daydream characters. Switching is not a normal symptom of MADD. (Although MADD is often related to plurality.)

[neaverse]

hi hi!! i am curious about the art class fic and the regulus birthday fic if you wanna talk about either or both of those!

Omg hi, thank you!! I'll gladly talk about both of them because they're so ridiculous and I love them😭

The Art class fic is such a silly fic that I came up with one night and I truly want to finish it. It's partially a texting fic— well, there's a lot of texting but it's also just a regular fic set in a modern, muggle world.

Basically, James spontaneously decides to sign up for an art class after seeing an ad online. James is not an artistic person at all, but it looked fun, so why not? He doesn't expect much, but he certainly doesn't expect to see Sirius’ little brother sat behind a desk as soon as he walks through the door.

Here's an excerpt:

James thinks, bitterly, as he comes to a harsh stop in the doorway to the classroom, that the universe is out to get him. There is no bloody way that this is happening. No, Regulus Black is not taking the same art class as him. He is just not.

Regulus is supposed to be in France, drinking and shopping and partying his way across the country with Barty and Evan, if his Instagram stories and posts are anything to go by, that is. So, imagine James’ surprise when his best friend's little brother— whom he hasn’t seen in three years— is not only back in England, but taking the same art class as James. At the same time as him. In the same building.

James contemplates the idea of running out of the building and not showing up to a single class because of this. Regulus has yet to notice him, sitting in the back with his headphones on and eyes plastered on his phone screen. He thinks that his chances of making a quiet exit without ever letting Regulus know that he was there are quite good.

Aaaand another one:

James: DONT YOU DARE LILY

James: I TOLD YOU THIS IN SECRET

Sirius: You told her but not me???

Sirius: What kind of best friend are you??

Lils: The kind that wants to fuck your brother

Sirius: WHAT

Mary: OH MY GOD

Marls: NO YOU DIDNT JAMES

Marls: DID YOU FUCK HIS BROTHER???

James: NO I SWEAR I DIDNT

Remus: Prongs…

James: Yes…?

Remus: little advice. don’t come over tonight

Remus: actually, you should probably start running

Remus: if you want to live

James: Sirius?

Sirius: Best listen to Moony.

James: It was good knowing you all!!

James: And thank you Lils. I hate you

Lils: Hate you too<3

Marls: this is like watching a movie. Where’s the popcorn?

Pete: 🍿🍿🍿

The Regulus birthday fic was actually written on my own birthday. I was having a hard time and thought I would project all of my feelings towards turning older —and my birthday in general— onto Regulus, and this fic was born. It's a muggle au and it basically follows Regulus during his birthday (no shit) and how he tries to avoid having to celebrate it. He pretends he doesn't care, that it's just another day, but deep down he wishes someone (his brother) would care enough to message him. So, in good old Regulus fashion, he shuts everyone out and ends up having a depressive ass birthday. Yay!

Here's an excerpt:

A perfect birthday, in Regulus' mind, is to pretend that it's just another day. No, nothing special about this date, just another boring, tiresome day of the week.

The problem, however, is his friends. They love birthdays. And despite knowing Regulus' hatred towards his own, they always plan something.

So, naturally, he has turned off his phone, locked the door to his flat and drawn the curtains shut, because it won't happen this year. He refuses to have them barging in with cake and wide grins on their faces. He refuses to watch Barty and Evan humiliate the fuck out of him as they start singing happy birthday out of tune in a packed restaurant. He refuses to have Pandora look at him with sympathy when he inevitably picks up his phone, waiting for a message from his brother that will never come. He refuses to have Dorcas beg him to go out for the night and get shitfaced drunk.

He also doesn't want to deal with his parents today, but there's so much to unpack about all of that so let's just… Not.

He's twenty as of today. Well, he's been twenty for eleven hours already. It doesn't feel real, very… anticlimactic, to say the least. It should be a milestone, but Regulus is all alone in his dark flat.

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

[penguin--person]

Solstice (srs/lttm from rain world)?

im so fucking normal about them you have no idea im so fucking normal im so normal you have to believe me i swear im normal i fuckings wear man im normal im so fucking normal

going along with the popular 'suns is treated like a god in their colony' headcannon, i dont think suns liked being worshiped - but, i do think he misses it. he knows it wasnt healthy, but he still does. this isnt me saying he wants moon to worship him, No, he Doesn't . and i mean that. slash serious. in my headcanon, moon's colony was religious too, but unlike suns' 'we can indulge in wordly pleasures as long as suns is ok with it and as long as its for him', there were more monks there. didn't starve themseleves, no, but. they did deprive themselves of lifes joys n shit . like the typical ancient. so. nothing irregular.

i think they'd date before the events of the main game

they meet through pebbles, maybe. suns mentions talking to pebbles not long after he was activated in one of the broadcasts in spearmasters campaign. maybe when pebbles talked about moon, how he wanted to be independent n all that, he went and spoke to moon herself.

and! while he understood pebbles' frustration. i think. m. he foud moon's kindness comforting. sweet lady. i headcanon them to be somewhat of a group senior, too, though maybe like.. not the oldest. moon gen1, suns gen2, smth. so. i think he'd find her comforting. and. he'd keep talking to her.

he'd maybe mention it once to pebbles, but wouldn't mention how their friendship is turning into a romantic one !! though like. qpr. ive got so many thoughts on how iterators perceive relationships you dont even know... like, i think the lines are blurry for them, what is platonic and what romantic. so i think it's not comparable to any relationship any human being has had.. though, maybe.. in the neolithic age n shit.. broken femur... "life is cruel but i'll stand by you and love you even when you're doing bad" n shit. whateverrr no one look at me. though efel free to ask me about my thoughts on the iterator relationships:3

so !! so . i think. moon would find him silly. she'd be happy pebbles has someone as kind as him as a friend, tutor.. . she'd see that suns is hurt, that they're depressed, don't see much point in trying to find the solution, but still try, because, what else is there to do? i think she'D try to help them see the joy in life. and maybe she'd succeed a bit. but, you can't drag a person out of depression on your own, ya know? not to say moon doesn't have her own problems - she also defineely has some kind of depression, i'd bet all iterators do, even if they don't know it. they've got mental illnesses we can't even fahtom.

so !! m. i also think they'd just be silly. moon would give a lot to the relationship, but, she's bad at setting boundaries, yea? like. take the whole pebbles thing as an example. she didn't force communicattions until she absolutely had to . i think she lets a lot of things slide, but, she's not oblivious! she just. i dont knowww i dont wanna mischaracterize her. shes not stupid. shes not dumb. she tells suns if he goes too far. but i dont think she's mean about it. moon never kills the slugcat. i don't think she'd ever really get angry with him - upset, yes, but she understands what he's going through.. and, as group seniour, even though they're not in the same group (but considers him part), wants to help him get better.

i don't think it'd be interely healthy, but, it'd be interesting! like. like. when you're climbing out of depression, you sometimes latch onto something that brings you joy soo much that you don't even care about the side effects. like. you don't fcare if you're depriving yourself of sustance, you don't care if you're harming yourself or the thing, or if the thing is harming you, you don't care if its unhealthy. it brings you joy! and joy is so hard to come by. for me, at least. this is filled with so much projection and self indulgence if u couldnt tell lol

but. they do love each other! they care for each other!! suns isnt using her, and moon isnt stupid and ignoring his faulst ! she knows they are there! but she trusts he'll get better. and suns hopes he will, too.

he'd help moon, too. he'd listen to her frustrations, encourage her to share her feelings. and she would. i dont think suns would know how to help her, really, but he'd listen - and sometimes, even that is rlly helpful.

he sends spearmaster to her, one cycle, with a pearl. an engagement:) old ancient way, exchanging jewelry.

he feels even shittier when the main events of the game happen. because. they weren't publically engaged/married/dating/qpr/whatever the fuck theyve got going on. so he can't. talk about it that much. he does tell nsh eventually n they're like, "why didnt you tell us. like literally its fine. i get pebbles would be upset, but, its fine" . and. m. so. relationships were tabboo in ancient culture, yes? ties you down to the cycle, turns you into an echo and shit. karma three, family and friendship. moon wouldn't be as aprehensive - she knows the local group wouldn't shun them, or at least would come around eventually. but she respects suns' boundary !! i think. he'd be scared. that the ancients would be disapointed in him or something. that iterators would shun and hate him.

i can't explain more of that without evolving this into a longer rant than it already is. so i wont. but feel free to send more asks:3