#this is just a rant full of stuff that im sure a lot of people know already but yk

[m00ngbin]

hey......... itd be a real shame if you started ranting about the demolition lovers and the stories and lore behind the mcr albums.........................

OH MY GOD YES IT WOULD BE. SUCH A SHAME.

Ok so everyone already knows that mcr like originally started in September of 2001 because Gerard Way and his brother Mikey Way were living in New Jersey when the twin towers fell and Gerard saw it happen because allegedly he was meeting with Cartoon Network executives about a cartoon idea he had and he was like "this was super traumatizing I'm going to start a band where I can vent everything out through songs." (Great idea)

So he starts the band with his brother, (bass), Ray Toro, (main guitarist and backup vocalist), and Matt Pelisser, (drummer), (mainly Matt Pelisser), and in 2002 they release their first album, (MY FAVORITE), I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. (Eventually Frank Iero, (backup vocalist and rhythm guitarist), joins the band but he wasn't there when they formed. He WAS featured on two songs in Bullets though, Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For Both Of Us and Early Sunsets Over Monroeville).

The first song they ever wrote, Skylines and Turnstiles, is about Gerard's feelings about 9/11. It's technically the seventh track on the album but yk. STILL THE FIRST.

Most of Bullets is ab the band members' lives growing up and their experiences watching 9/11 but it's also where they start coming up with the storyline for the Demolition Lovers. ANRJSHEKRJ I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge/Demolition Lovers

Ok so the Demolition Lovers storyline is a little confusing and mostly up for interpretation. MY interpretation is that in the song Demolition Lovers, (from the Bullets album), the Lovers are running away from unknown people in the middle of a desert, where they're both shot.

The Demolition Man dies and goes to hell, while the Demolition woman ends up in a coma. (I THINK SHES IN A COMA BC OF THE DRAWING IN THE LINER ART FOR REVENGE WHERE SHES IN THE HOSPITAL).

Then the Revenge album picks up where Bullets left off and we learn that the Demolition Man is told by the devil that if he goes back to earth and kills 1000 evil men he'll be allowed to see the Demolition Woman again.

Of course the Demolition Man is so desperate to see the Demolition Woman again that he says yes, so he goes back to Earth and Give 'Em Hell, Kid starts the story.

He starts in New Orleans and takes a train to an unspecified other place to begin the task. He's really remorseful about it, but he gets super drugged up to stay awake while he finds these 1000 evil men. Atp the Demolition Woman starts feeling kind of abandoned bc I guess she never realized that he had died and she has no clue what he's doing.

The next song, I'm Not Okay, is supposed to touch on how the Demolition Lovers' relationship was kind of toxic and ALLEGEDLY this was originally supposed to be the last song on the album, where it ends with the Demo Man's suicide. Obviously we knew that the Demo Lovers didn't have the most stable relationship but this song was supposed to highlight how bad it was

In the song Ghost Of You, the Demo Man starts reflecting on his actions and how much he misses the Demo Woman. At this point he's worrying that either he won't be able to kill enough people or he'll just never be able to see her again.

Jetset starts with the Demo Man finally getting out of jail and finding a new partner for his killing spree. She wants the relationship to be more, but the Demo Man is still hung up on the Demo Woman. (Obviously, if he wasn't he wouldn't be doing all of this.) Both the Demo Man and the partner are addicted to drugs at this point, the Demo Man mainly so that he can stay awake and cope with what he's doing.

In Hang 'Em High he starts doubting that he can go through with killing all of these people and starts thinking that if he fails, the Demo Woman should go on without him. In Fashion Statement/Deathwish, he regains his confidence and gets much closer to his goal. He realizes though, that even if he does succeed death will eventually bring the Lovers apart again.

In between Fashion Statement/Deathwish and Cemetery Drive the Demolition Woman gets out of the hospital and kills herself. (Helena doesn't technically fit with most of the story but I like to think that it's the Demo Man going to her funeral).

In Cemetery Drive the Demolition Man visits her grave and finally gets to 999 evil men. It's at this point that he realizes that he's been tricked by the devil. He'd killed 999 evil men, but since the devil made him a murderer, he was the 1000th.

In For A Living the Demo Man accepts that he'll never be able to see the Demo Woman again and kills himself. He finally reaches 1000 evil souls and so he actually IS able to reunite with the Demolition Woman in hell.

ARKAHSGFJS. I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS STORY SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I LOSE MY MIND THINKING ABOUT THEM EVERY DAY. Also like. Disclaimer you don't want a relation like the Demolition Lovers had. I didn't get super into it but their shit was FUCKED UP. Every time I see someone say that they wish they and their bf are just like the demo lovers I have a "hm." moment bc like. Did you even listen to ANY of the songs mentioning them?? Did you read ab their lore?? Do you know ANYTHING about them???

I'm not a gatekeeper or anything I swear I just don't think people should be saying that they want a relationship just like that

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT, during the Bullets tour era Gerard had a faux leather jacket that he wore so often and didn't wash that it literally disintegrated because of his sweat. I think most people know that but what they don't know is that there were TWO leather jackets that he disintegrated. One of them completely fell apart and the other one just lost one of the arms

THE BLACK PARADE

Ok listen I love the back parade but I'm not going to say AS much about it bc I spent most of my time hyperfixated on the Demo Lovers story and Danger Days so I don't know everything. (REMEMBER EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN INTERPRETATION DONT YELL AT ME IF YOU THINK SOMETHING ELSE)

Ok so the album starts with The End, where we learn about The Patient. He's dying and he probably won't be missed, and we get a reflection of his life and his fear of dying.

In Dead!, we learn about The Patient's diagnosis and prognosis. He has cancer and he doesn't have very long to live, maybe two weeks at the MOST. The first verse of the song, ("Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life," (not said by him)), suggests that maybe The Patient is kind of a piece of shit and he deserves to die. The Patient is deep in denial atp, he's refusing to acknowledge that he's dying but he also wants it to be over.

This Is How I Disappear has The Patient reach out to a past lover, letting them know that they'll be the only one to remember him, and he begs them to keep his memory alive. It's mentioned again that this guy has done horrible things, but we still don't know what yet.

In The Sharpest Lives, we see The Patient start trying to distract himself from his imminent death by partying and drinking. He wrecks what's left of his life and it ends up dragging other people down with him.

After this song, he sobers up and goes to the hospital, where the rest of the album takes place

WTTBP is where he starts reflecting on his life again and accepts that his life is about to be over. Death comes, but in the form of his favorite memory: a parade The Patient's dad had taken him to when he was younger. The Patient's dad had told him that he wanted him to grow up to be a good person, (whoops), and that he can't be by The Patient's side forever.

I Don't Love You has The Patient desperately trying to break off his relationship with his current partner. He knows that his death will be painful for both of them and he doesn't want his partner to have to watch him rot away. (He's being selfless?? Shocker)

In House Of Wolves we get a description of how he sees hell, where he knows he'll end up. Despite everything he doesn't want to burn for eternity. He knows he's a bad person, but he spends the song INSISTING that a lot of people aren't better than him. (Dude🧍)

In Cancer, now that his treatment has started, he feels ashamed of how the chemo is making him look. His hair is falling out, his lips are chapped and faded, he's pale and gaunt, etc etc. He looks like shit pretty much. He already feels dead. He starts thinking selflessly again, trying to say goodbye to his loved ones in a short heartfelt way so that it doesn't have to be long and drawn out and painful. He doesn't want to leave them behind but yk. Life's not fair and he knows it.

Mama FINALLY gives us what he did, and guess what it is. War crimes. He was involved in a war where he committed terrible acts. Things so bad that even his own mother rejects and disowns him. At the point he's at in Mama, he decides to write her a letter where he admits that he's a terrible man and a terrible son, and since he's dying he would like it if they could reconcile and talk.

In Sleep The Patient says that he doesn't regret what he's done, but he wants to leave it all behind and end his life on a high note.

Teenagers is a song that doesn't really fit with the rest of the album, and I'm pretty sure Gerard Way says that it's not the most relevant to the story. There's a couple lines about how The Patient was an outcast in highschool, but most of the song is ab the system trying to control kids and get them to conform.

In Disenchanted, his life starts flashing before his eyes and he reviews it like a movie. He gets really disappointed about his life and how it's ending. He talks about how he could have changed things and that honestly his life was pretty worthless bc he just waited for death.

In Famous Last Words, The Patient is supposedly talking to a loved one, but he's not sure if he's dreaming it bc he doesn't know if he's dead or alive atp. Either way he has accepted that he's dead or about to be and he's at peace with it. (Or as at peace with dying of cancer as you can be)

NOW HERES WHERE IT GETS SUPER INTERESTING. THERES A SPLIT ENDING. Blood is the one that Gerard Way considers the ACTUAL ending, but they also wrote Heaven Help Us as an alternative ending that's technically just as correct as Blood

In Blood, The Patient chooses to stay alive, even though he knows that there's no way he's going to get better. The doctors and nurses that are taking care of him pity him and are only keeping him around for the money.

In Heaven Help Us, he DOES end up dying. Atp he's waiting in purgatory for the verdict on whether he's going to heaven or hell (it's going to be hell)

YAYY BLACK PARADE DONE

Danger Days

AKDOFHADORN OK SO THE STORY LINE FOR DANGER DAYS IS KIND OF CONFUSING BC THERES THREE: THE ONE FOR THE ALBUM, THE ONE FOR THE MUSIC VIDEOS, AND THE ONE FOR THE COMICS

DID YOU KNOW THAT GERARD WAY IS A COMIC BOOK ARTIST AND AUTHOR TOO?? HE WROTE A COMIC BOOK FOR DANGER DAYS AND HE MADE UMBRELLA ACADEMY AND PENI PARKER IN THE SPIDERVERSE MOVIES

So in the album, the first half basically talks about fighting in the desert and recalling the events of the Helium wars (The Only Hope For Me is You). Pretty upbeat.

Then in the middle of the album (Traffic Report) Jet Star and Kobra Kid are apparently killed, leaving Party Poison and Fun Ghoul alive?

The second half of the album deals with more serious themes of sacrifice, the "message", desperation, and, (obviously), sticking it to the man. Vampire Money is the only track set in the "real world," which gets proven by the use of their real names in the opening.

The EP, The Mad Gear and Missle Kid, contains three songs by this fictional band that the Killjoys would have listened to while driving around. The three songs on it are: 1. sex with porno-droids, 2. hooking up with older men in punk clubs, and 3. makes a reference to drinking juice while killing, which is what Val Velocity says in the comic. She might have been copying Party Poison but idk.

In the music videos, (Na Na Na and Sing), the Fabulous Killjoys run around the desert with The Girl, killing dracs. Korse eventually catches up to them and there is a shootout where the Killjoys get stunned and The Girl gets kidnapped.

Then the Killjoys go on a suicide mission into Battery City to try and get her back. They find The Girl who has been held by The Director and fight to escape. During the fight, Party Poison realizes that there are actually people under the drac masks, (one is implied to be Cherri Cola, who was played by Jimmy Urine (ew)), and he freaks the fuck out.

Korse kills him first, and the other three are also killed while trying to escape. The Girl is rescued, (by DJ Hot Chimp? I think?), and goes back out to the desert.

The Killjoys are wrapped up in body bags, but there was supposed to be another music video after Sing (which was cut due to budget issues), and Gerard mentioned in an interview once that he thought the Killjoys never really die because they would sort of spontaneously regenerate like in a video game or something.

There are three parts to the comics. The first is about The Girl, and reveals that the reason the Killjoys protected her was that they believed she was like a messiah. The Killjoys are all long dead by now. This group of teenagers, the Ultra V's, has decided to model themselves after the Killjoys, and the story talks about The Girl's interactions with them and coming to terms with her destiny. It's a coming of age type thing.

The second part talks about two android prostitutes from Battery City, and how they escape.

The third part has Korse as the main character, and reveals that he is gay and he has to hide this from Battery City officials. It's mainly ab him trying to get freedom and escape as well.

The Foundations Of Decay

NEWEST MCR SONG OMFG. It came out in 2022 following MCR's 6-7 year hiatus and URGAHDHFJS ITS SO GOOD. From just the lyrics

"He was there the day the towers fell

And so he wandered down the road

And we would all build towers of our own

Only to watch the roots corrode"

I think at least that part is about Gerard and a callback to why he started the band in the first place.

The whole song is kind of about the band and their history and everything and URGAJHDHFISSH I love this song so much you don't understand. It's very reminiscent of the Bullets era but it's a lot more mature I think.

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE SONG EVER OF ALL TIME: OUR LADY OF SORROWS

Our Lady Of Sorrows is on the Bullets album and it's the best song from any era imo. It's about how far someone will go for their friends and it's a really aggressive way of basically saying that you would die for someone and that you would stand with them against anything.

The song was originally a demo called Bring Me More Knives, and it only had Gerard, Ray, and Matt playing on it. Allegedly Mikey loved the song so much that he managed to teach himself to play the bass decently enough in four days just to join the band and play it.

Some of the demos from (mainly) the Bullets era were called the Attic Demos because they were recorded in the Matt's attic

Matt got kicked out of MCR in 2004, (just after the Revenge album came out), because apparently he was caught stealing. He was replaced by Bob Bryar, and currently Jarrod Alexander is the drummer for MCR

Oh I feel like I should mention that nothing was glamorous ab any of the tours or the band members while they were touring before the hiatus. These were like traumatized 20 something year olds touring the country and doing drugs and becoming alcoholics and it pisses me off so badly when people try to make that era seem so great. There was an entire chunk of the Life On The Murder Scene documentary about Gerard Way struggling with alcoholism and how his hygiene was so bad bc he couldn't take care of himself. That's part of what that jacket disintegrated. Ofc it was also bc touring is disgusting and you don't get a lot of chances to shower and stuff but nothing ab any of that is glamorous

Oh but they're all a lot better now I think. Obviously I don't KNOW bc idk any of the band members but from what I've seen they all at least look better

[generationa1trauma]

flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable

[dreamsy990]

so it all comes to this.

to say i was excited to play 3 would be wrong. actually i was sort of dreading the game. i went in with expectations for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. which is not to say that its good. but its certainly a game! that i played! and now you get my thoughts. unfortunately a lot of my thoughts about the end of the game are kind of hard to separate so. if youre wondering where my thoughts on endgame stuff is. its at the end.

(also i havent played remind so theres no remind thoughts here. its all just base game kh3)

combat (with some other gameplay notes)

so. im not a big fan of the combat. to preface, i played the rest of the series on standard, but with kh3 i was told it was easy so i did proud! and yet it was still the easiest kh game.

kh3 is the first game in the series where i feel as though 'mash x to win' is a valid criticism <- thats not entirely true at the start, but later in the game it does feel a lot like that. almost every fight is mindless because of how easy it is. you can see it in the enemy health bars, theyre absurdly large because of how easy it is to take them down. they need to have that high of health so the fight isnt over in under a minute.

i dont think the base combat is bad. unsatisfying, maybe. But not bad. except for attraction commands.

attraction commands feel like part of a pattern in kh3, where they try to recreate what made the other games so good without understanding WHY it was good. what theyre recreating ofc being reaction commands. technically its the same as some reaction commands, sure, being a giant dramatic attack, but it doesnt work because theres no situational awareness in them.

attraction commands dont feel cool because theres nothing in them that requires use of your surroundings or that is tailored to the enemies youre fighting, since theres only a couple that can be used at any time. there's nothing strategic about using them either- reaction commands normally would give you a specific advantage, or could be used to avoid attacks, only sometimes dealing damage on their own. in kh3, all attractions do is deal damage. they are impersonal and often obtrusive- if youre like me and hate attractions, youll still often accidentally use one, since theres no way to disable them.

this is more abstract than anything, but something about attacking feels unsatisfying. the combat feels like it lacks any real sense of impact or weight to me. but thats all personal and not exactly good criticism so. i digress

also the bosses in 3 suck. you know its bad when the most memorable boss fight in your game is the tutorial. most of the boss fights in this game are so unmemorable that ive literally forgotten them. except of course demon tide. i despise demon tide. it was fine in 0.2 but not here. every time you fight it feels like a missed opportunity for something cooler.

i think flowmotion is worse now. i get that it was a bit too overpowered, but with how much it was limited i ended up hardly using it. i didnt like flowmotion because of the attacks, i liked it because of the movement. so to me, it ended up being a reminder of how kh3 failed instead of a fun feature.

also i know a lot of people like being able to switch keyblades in fights, but honestly i feel like it removes an element of strategy the other games had

the ui (and other visual things)

this isnt something i talked about in my other reviews. but in kh3 i must bring it up. if you follow me you may know my hatred for kh3s ui. so im going to talk about it again! this is the abridged version though. heres my whole rant if you want my full thoughts on it. but the short version is that i dont like it. i am someone with terrible vision and i can play every single kh game without glasses because the ui is just big enough that i can read it. most of the time i can read subtitles too. but in 3? i struggle even WITH glasses to read anything. the ui is too small to make out anything almost all the time. its really only by muscle memory that im able to play. my glasses broke while i was playing, and i literally couldnt play until i got new ones because i couldnt make out a single word on screen. its bad design.

im also upset that there ui art has been replaced with renders. its just a shame honestly. i loved the art in the older games. the renders feel bland in comparison.

and thats generally my take on the look of modern kh. sure its pretty, but its bland. kh has always had a certain cartoonish vibe to it thats starting to die out, and i think the shift to unreal engine was the first marker of that change. i like the look of old kh. its not too technically impressive but its incredibly charming. kh3 is anything but. the characters feel far less expressive, the worlds are realistically rendered, it feels unfitting for a series like kh. its hard for me to find kh3 as charming as the other games. the only word i can think of to really describe it is corporate.

i dont know if this is a rare take, but i think technically impressive visuals are far worse than distinct ones. kh used to have a unique look! now it just looks like every other semi-realistically rendered rpg.

story (featuring: more gameplay notes)

my problem with kh3's story was unavoidable really. dream drop distance set this game up for failure and so im not going to complain about dream drop distance. ANOTHER TIME ill talk about dream drop distance. i dont have time to make a post that long. i do have a lot of problems with the story that werent a result of ddd being terrible so i guess ill just bring up those.

one of my biggest issues with the game is how unimportant the roxas plot is. youre led to believe the game will revolve around it but then sora does nothing to further it. at all. at the start he CONSIDERS doing something, and then hes told by ienzo "no its fine ive got it. go do something else" and its barely ever mentioned again until the end.

this relates to my overarching problem with the plot: it feels aimless. in every kh game theres a REASON theyre going on a journey. soras looking for his friends, roxas is working a 9 to 5, the wayfinders are all following each other, etc. but in kh3 sora is looking for "the power of waking". what is the power of waking? i literally have no clue. thats how poorly defined it is. its an abstract goal, its not tangible or even really achievable. its just a macguffin. when the plot suddenly decides to happen at the end the whole journey feels pointless. you could skip every disney world past twilight town and you would probably be fine. it's not a journey, you're not exploring for a purpose, you're just killing time until other people handle the plot.

i also really hate the new organization (i refuse to call them the real organization. theyll never be the org). theyre painfully boring and poorly put together. the old org had structure, they had very specific goals, every member had a purpose. you knew how they worked and why they did what they did. the new org is just completely lacking in that. calling it an 'organization' is stupid because there's nothing organized about it. and even disregarding all that, the new organization also lacks any real personality. the members feel so boring, which sucks, because almost all of them are returning characters who used to be really fun. and why are most of them even there? no one except maybe xigbar seems to actually care about their mission. the old organization had a common goal and a reason everyone was there. they were nobodies, they wanted their hearts back. there's no reason for any of the new members to stick with xehanort. and if you say "well they were norted!" i then must ask. what exactly is norting? like really. it hasnt been possession since birth by sleep. norting is whatever nomura needs it to be in the moment. its not clearly defined, its just another macguffin.

also because i dont know where to put it, the battle of 10,000 heartless is just a terrible successor to the original fight. there's no stakes, no buildup, no friends fighting by your side, no reason to care. they just throw thousands of heartless with no ai at you. literally no ai, if you stand still they wont attack you. its a drag if anything, an homage to a better game done absolutely no justice.

back to what i was saying about the roxas plot, roxas' return is just such a nothing scene. theres nothing about it thats cathartic, his lines are impersonal and bland, theres nothing 'roxas' about it. roxas' defining feature has always been how emotional he is, and there's none of that here. its nothing. and then he does nothing afterwords. he has seven whole lines in this entire game, six of them are in this scene, and the last one is an inconsequential jab at sora at the very end. and then he fades into the background.

the writing in this game in general is actually weirdly worse than normal. it feels a lot less, idk, human? the older games were weird and absurdly cheesy but this is just. strange. look at the scenes with riku and mickey in the realm of darkness and youll see what i mean.

WHILE IM ON THAT SUBJECT. RIKUS KEYBLADE BREAKING IS BULLSHIT. remind me to rant about that another time though im not gonna go on a tangent about that here

also i would give my thoughts on the ending but i literally couldnt care less about xehanort. so i dont really have any! the final boss was alright though

i have more specific thoughts, but generally, the game feels aimless and underwhelming.

positives

i love axel and kairi! theyre a fun duo and ill never shut up about their parallels so seeing them together is nice. i wish they did anything but thats BESIDES the point im being POSITIVE here

also. the music is great. i love the music sm. its nowhere near my favorite kh soundtrack, it feels a lot more grand which isnt my thing but its still some of yoko shimomuras best work. also hearts as one. its the PERFECT conclusion to roxas' theme and arc. the progression of it from melancholic (roxas) to desperate (the other promise) to triumphant (hearts as one) is just so good. i wish the rest of this scene was as good as the music so i could compliment it more wholeheartedly yknow?

its actually funny also! kh isnt the funniest series, most of the time when it IS funny its completely on accident. but kh3 is like days in the way that it just. actually has funny writing. the jokes intended DO land and its just a breath of fresh air.

oh also riku being well adjusted is the funniest possible conclusion to his character arc. 10/10 im so happy hes normal. never give that boy an emo arc again nomura

conclusion

over all, kh3 is exactly like how my teachers described me in elementary school: it has a lot of potential, but doesnt apply itself. this couldve been a decent game but it simply doesnt do most things very well. i give it a 5.2 / 10. its not an actively bad game but its a game i have trouble enjoying. sidenote im retconning my opinion on bbs to say its 4.7 / 10 because a: my opinions have changed and b: i think 3 is better but i dont want to give it a very high score.

[conceptofjoy]

Genuine question, why do you ship dirkhal? I thought it was like, infamously an incest ship to most people. Has this changed? Even the tag is full of a bunch of people who just group it in with stridercest which, wow. I'm mostly wondering if there is something I'm missing since I'm not too interested in either of the characters and their developments, and am sure as most Homestuck characters go, there's a lot of ways to interpret them. You also don't have to reply to this if it's too uncomfortable of a question!

guhh i mean. fucking ur clone's different than fucking ur twin because you're your clone and had the life leading up to the divergence (and even post divergence). i mean i could go into a rant wondering why tf people drop common decency at the internet door to not ship pedophilic nor incestuious stuff but like we prolly have the same thoughts. i fuckin hate the dirkhal tag too :(

as for character reasons as to ship dirkhal i def have a lot :] im kinda playing fast and loose with the term ship bc they rlly have a complicated thing going on. i use ship because its mainly because of the extreme intimacy of knowing almost everything another person's thinking as well as their insecurities and vulnerabilities. but also because of the divergences and misunderstandings only being so confident in knowing the other guy can bring.

hal wants dirk to trust him, dirk hates being reminded of himself every time he looks at hal. dirk cant see the differences in hal because he hypocritically only sees himself (after saying that they're different guys and recognizing hal's emotions) and hal refuses to give himself a break in accepting that he is infact a different guy and not an unfeeling robot. seeing how they dance around each other is frustrating to watch but also verrrry much the appeal.

because dirk's self loathing/disgust makes him unable to go to others for help, hal ends up becoming his help. but dirk also hates who is helping him (who he thinks he sees) and withdraws from that. hal is entirely dependent on dirk and wants to make his life easier on himself (and does lowkey care abt him). he doesnt project his own self loathing on dirk, just his trepidation on how he's treated him. he bottles up his own emotion's and lets its miasma leak out in every snarky "well im shades" comment he makes. hal would genuinely help dirk out, but he pushes buttons cause he's so worn out and wary of dirk's antics, causing dirk to withdraw faster than touching a hand to a flame. just awesome guys im gonna tear my hair out.

[bizlybebo]

Because its on my mind Im sending this as a "Ramble about it here when you get to X episode" ask. When you finish the episodes titled black, white and grey please rant about them here. They are great and I want to see your opinions

hahaha. hi endy.

the staring at the wall evolved into falling asleep and randomly waking up at 4am, still processing these episodes.

i wrote down. some of my thoughts now having experienced the full thing and got kind of carried away with um. 1.4k words of rambling :3

it’s not even all i want to say but i. ough. fuck these episodes were so good but so. auugggh.

it’s like 5am now im posting this and gonna try to go back to sleep but. holy fucking SHIT when i get you bizly.

(i don’t at all expect you to read this behemoth of a ramble!! just. need to put this somewhere as well because my brain’s still exploding after these episodes)

When season two started I thought it marked a lot of stuff for, y’know, how the show was gonna get darker. I mean, episode one, people were getting killed by a chaos demon in that prison.

I was entirely expecting all the ugly, gory bits of season two to be… external shit. Stuff that other guys, the actual antagonists, did.

But William felt pressured in Black. And suddenly it sets off this chain reaction, and suddenly one of our protagonists is no longer doing heroic things. Suddenly William is effectively torturing a guy psychologically in an attempt to save thousands more with David’s medical research.

He fell into the crux of a lot of villains: “It’s for the greater good”.

There was no going back after he stabbed Tide with the syringe. Tide, who never even had his guard up around William because despite everything, he trusted him and had immeasurable faith in his boys.

White is probably my favorite and least favorite episode, simultaneously, to ever come out of jrwi. The emotional, symbolic, and hell, even cinematic effect it has is insane.

I could fucking scream forever about Willian’s actions in White. About Vyncent’s inactions and the way he was torn about everything— about the fact that in season one, Vyncent was the “violent” one.

But Mark and Dakota fucking hit me in the heart to an insane amount.

Dakota. MOTHERFUCKING. Cole.

I said this before, but:

It’s the fact that Dakota still has optimism. He still has hope, at the very least, that Mark can change; turn over a new leaf for his kid.

“I think he should turn over a new leaf, like, with a new hero name, like— Soundwave, or something.”

He still thinks, or at least thought, that Mark can change. This was after he saw what he did to Lightspeed. He saw the worst of Mark’s actions but he still had faith and hope that there was a good person in there.

This shows so much fucking growth for Dakota’s character. The entire development of his morals, especially over season 2, is insane.

But Mark tries to kill Dakota. Several times.

He shoots at him, unleashes hundreds of bullets, and even tries to stab him. He couldn’t predict that Dakota would be incorporeal, and yeah, sure, you could say that he didn’t know Dakota forfeited his powers (and even without him he’s still significantly stronger than other kids his age). But even with his powers, Dakota would still have taken significant damage from the attacks.

Dakota and Mark’s rivalry is something I could pick apart and think about every little piece of forever.

They both have overwhelming love for Ashe, but it manifests in different ways.

Mark says it himself, “I am what I have to be.” He’s bringing home his kid by any means necessary. Ashe doesn’t have to like him, she just has to be safe and alive.

Dakota’s entire screaming match with Mark is engraved into my brain forever. It felt so real to witness, and the emotion in it was insane.

Dakota’s entire proclamation gets me. He’s so well spoken throughout despite shaking with how angry he is.

“I have been killing myself trying to train hard enough to save her.”

“If you were doing this for Ashe you wouldn’t do things that she’d hate you for.” But Mark is what he has to be.

Dakota never stands down. He keeps getting back up, and back up, and back. Up. Okehrjwjr I’m actually going to start crying thinking about this again.

When he was searching for Lightspeed and following Wavelength’s tracks, he kept asking himself: What would William do? Because he had faith in William’s decision making and investigation.

But at the very same time, William was wondering what Dakota would think about what he’s done.

And GOD don’t get me started on William and his brother.

In a sick, twisted way, I loved their dynamic. I loved what it meant for William narratively when David congratulated his work of defeating Xavier, even calling him “little brother” as a term of endearment. I was on the edge of my seat for their entire conversation in the meeting room.

David gave William his first drink, like older brothers do. William tortured a man because of his brother. David had apple juice sitting on hand because their mother told him to, just in case William ever showed up. William wanted apple juice. He killed somebody.

Cantrip’s been FUCKING me up. I couldn’t even write the word “death” after her name. It doesn’t feel real.

This can’t be the same show in which Jade was sitting on Xavier’s shoulders during mario kart, nonchalantly offering no help as he fought for his life to win like. Second place.

I mean, Jade was such a candid and real character. She was a teenager, just like the rest of the Prime Defenders, and she tried to take a turn for better things after leaving the fighting ring. She went from villainy to vigilantism, and sure, her morals were kind of skewed with how she seemed pretty okay with Alan killing the Bell Tech employees, but her motives were good, in a sense.

(“It’s all for the greater good”. It’s the same thing William was thinking, except William was directly dirtying his hands by torturing Xavier, while Cantrip was just accepting that Alan killed some people.)

I think there’s something to say for how William creates a vision of Cantrip out of smoke, distorting her into some monster, and how that’s the last time we see her image at all before learning of the fact that she’s. Gone.

The last time we see the real Jade, she’s just trying to escape. She doesn’t even talk, if I remember correctly. She just tries to get out. She gets shot in the arm but still persists.

And William ends up being the one who pulls the trigger; who injects the memory loss shit into her blood.

He’s the one who kills her, despite not knowing it at the time.

And David still masquerades as an innocent man, going as far as to relax at his apartment with him and William’s parents as though the events of the previous night never happened.

It fucks me up how the last words that Will and David exchanged before the confrontation in the apartment was:

“Don’t turn into a supervillain while I’m gone.”

“You either.”

William was starting to believe that David was a guy with awful methods, but good intentions— and William felt as though he was the same way. He saw himself becoming David, but David manipulated him into thinking that, hey, it’s awful, but at least he wouldn’t be… alone, I guess, in being a horrible person.

William and David finally saw eye to eye on the worst thing.

And David. Still. Lied.

Lied by omission.

And Jade was the one who took the fall for William’s actions. Jade, the girl who made fun of William for his crush on Vyncent. Jade, who had a sister she cared about, even if she scoffed about her love of heroes— despite the implication that their parents died because of them (likely caught in crossfire or casualties of battle). Jade, who painted her nails and placed bets on William kissing Vyncent, saying he’d be too pussy to do so. Jade, who found herself in a fucking fighting arena of all places but still found friends through it.

Jade, who was the first one to trust William with her actual name instead of Cantrip.

William, who killed her.

And. Fucking Christ.

Vyncent’s monologue at the end of episode 33 just. Fucks me up.

For the entire greyscale series, he finds himself suspended in inaction, too scared to do the right thing and too scared to stop the wrong thing.

But he finally faces it. He looks at William, certainly with fear after knowing all that he’s done, and even still, Vyncent dances around the morality of the subject. He accepts if William wants to flat-out lie to Dakota’s face about what happened at Bell Tech, though he does warn him of the significant damage it’ll do to their friendship.

And when William asks Vyncent to leave the room at the end of the episode, Vyncent finally takes a leap and becomes no longer caught by his indecision between apathy and guilt.

He looks at William, thinking he’s on the edge of something he won’t come back from, and he takes his hand, and pulls Wlliam back from the metaphorical cliff’s edge. If William does fall, then they’re falling together.

His entire proclamation, starting with “I’ve had so many opportunities to do the right thing”, fucking guts me.

God I’ve been typing for like. An hour now but the greyscale series really fucked me up holy shit.

tldr: AAAAUUUUIGGHHHHKEKGKKSKVMEMGOOCU:$)&2’ynkejvjk4&3&582$2!:$?82&;&/&(929@,@2&(&2&&?EVIL EVIL EVIL GOD IS DEADDDDJGKRMHKSKKKKLLEKCKSJGJKSICIWKFMSKGIWIIIAI&383&5&?&?@39(92@?&&/8:7;&,£,]*+\+<*]¥<**]+<+¥sfkwkfkkwjfkI HATE EVERYTHING AOUUGGGHHHHHH OUUUUUUEHEHRHRHRJKGHRHRHRRRRRRR

i am emotionally attached to this media a normal amount

[atotalpitch]

in line w your post about Insta caption; your headcanon about how each Bella uses emoji, what they post on social media and how they'd caption everything?

word count is 1,5k for this one who's surprised??? you genuinely cannot send me an ask and not get answer longer than the fics that i write sigh i kind of went off the rails a bit and forgot about the “how they’d caption everything” part of the question, but here’s a detailed rant of how each of them texts and uses social media:

Chloe: where do i even begin? i feel like she has auto-caps on and uses a shit ton of emojis, but for their actual purpose instead of ironically. she does not send a single text without At Least two hearts, and is definitely not a dry texter by any means. also, according to everyone she has ever been in contact with, she has a habit of sending ten texts in a row instead of just writing everything into one message, which is denied within four seconds of it being brought up. (“but it’s easier to read separate, short messages!” “it’s just how i would talk in real life, you know!”) she has two accounts on instagram, one which is public and one which is private. on the public one she posts aesthetically and has a theme which she strictly follows. the posts are mostly about cute animals she takes care of, or major events. private on the other hand? it basically contains her Entire life – all ups and downs included – and a shit ton of random pictures of Beca. it’s only followed by the Bellas and some of her closest family. twitter, facebook and tiktok (which she would never admit to having) are on a different level. what that implies is very much up for interpretation. she’s one of those pinterest users, and has a board for Everything. has regular meetups with Aubrey when they just gush over their pinterest feeds, dream weddings, etc. (whatever it is that those people do idk)

Aubrey: perfect grammar and punctuation, one emoji per message. a facebook mom, if you will. she gets teased for it endlessly but her response is always something like “why would i use texting for anything other than it’s purpose of informing others?”

if you bring up social media in her presence, she will scowl at you and let you believe that she absolutely despises every form of online contacting. however, she will go back home and sit on Her Armchair with a glass of fucking expensive red wine and go through every single one of your social media accounts from tumblr to linkedin (stalker much?). not that she posts anywhere, except for twitter where she just lets hell loose every once in a blue moon. she does have an instagram account as well though, but just for liking other peoples posts as she claims if someone happens to ask (despite her story always having at least twenty random pictures at any given time of the day)

Amy: … she’s, well, Amy. she texts with full caps or no caps, always with at least five typos even if it’s just two words. it’s Something, how she manages to do that every single time. she’s a tiktok emoji trend user (eg. skull for laughing) which confuses others (read: Aubrey, who isn’t on tiktok) a lot.

her social media is full of memes, random selfies, “inspirational” quotes that are more or less insane, and pictures of food. she, for some reason, went viral on tiktok and has like two million followers. (nobody knows why, which is probably for the better.) on twitter, she mostly just retweets crazy shit and thirsts over celebrities Very openly. then there’s reddit… yeah,, there’s reddit. she doesn’t really use other socials, but does have accounts literally everywhere.

Stacie: as i said in the post that inspired this ask, she texts like Alexis (her actress) writes her instagram captions. so basically just a lot of dragged out words, a bunch of emojis and abbreviations and that stuff. i don’t know to describe it, so. take that as you will. im not sure how many of you follow her anyway .

our girl is for sure, without a doubt, a tiktok thirst trapper. she does it unintentionally at first, but when she goes viral she starts doing it for fun (almost like a hobby). her comments used to be flooded by creepy men, but once she put the bi flag in her bio they seemingly disappeared and were replaced by the army of “#wlw? we won” people. Aubrey’s not too happy about her posting herself like that, but she thinks it’s whatever as long as Stacie runs every video through her (not in a controlling way. she’s just also one of those lesbians who drool over her.) Stacie’s instagram is also kinda similar, but with pictures instead of videos. they’re subtle and barely revealing for the most part, but she looks good in literally anything so she has a lot of followers anyway. that’s where her social media use ends, save for the private twitter account that she uses to bully the rest of the Bellas.

Beca: she texts in all lowercase, but decent grammar anyways. she’s not exactly big on emojis, but slips them in every few messages (she’s a chronic frowning emoji user, that’s for sure). i don’t know how else to describe her texting?? she usually doesn’t even reply with other than half a sentence or a barely coherent abbreviation

she’s famous, so her socials are mostly “official” and really, Really lack personality. naturally, she has private accounts which her closest circle of people follow. she doesn’t post though, mainly just replies to other people. (well, maybe she accidentally clicks post on random memes sometimes, but you really don’t need to know that.) Batshit Crazy Reddit User™ and will use it as a reliable source for anything. you can also find her at 3am doomscrolling on twitter.

Emily: oh god. she texts like she just got a phone and is generally as awkward as when talking. kinda like Chloe, she’ll send a thousand texts in a row in the same way she stumbles over her words irl. she spams people with only emojis, and doesn’t Make Sense most of the time. but she’s Emily, so they let it slide.

she’s not that big on social media (follower wise) but active? hell yes. she posts something every. single. day. whether its a mirror selfie or a cute flower she saw on her way to yoga (she does yoga. yeah. i know. crazy.) you can pretty much imagine Hailee’s insta up until like 2020 but double the amount of posts. there’s never too much filters or hashtags for her, and she unfortunately did not grow out of the 2013(-ish) filter phase. she unironically uses facebook and watches instagram reels, and nobody bats an eye anymore when she giggles and sends a link to a puppy video from the deep dark archives of facebook. any other form of social media she stays away from, especially twitter (she has an account but zero posts or replies). she does learn pinterest from Chloe at some point, so that becomes a big thing for her eventually though.

Cynthia Rose: she texts in the closest way to normal possible. she uses auto-caps, a decent amount of emojis that actually make sense, and abbreviations that everyone can understand. but she does have a middle-aged man edge to it sometimes. she’s an influencer. not that kind of “grwm to go shopping” one, but she fights for rights, talks about representation, and brings out the voices of minorities. she runs campaigns, interviews people, and activist type of stuff. it’s a good thing and she’s happy about what she does (even if she does spend all day everyday working for it despite doing it for free). but, sticking to the running theme, she has a private twitter account. her header is a lesbian quote with two pairs of scissors, and her posts are just plain Insane. she mostly uses it to bully Beca for literally no reason at all. 

Flo: texts like a wine aunt. that’s it. there’s no other way i can describe it.

she has an instagram for her juice truck, and it has a bunch of followers all around the world who are interested in watching her move from one place to another. she also posts tutorials how to make her juices at home (especially during the pandemic), and she’s basically sponsored by a million companies just because she gave them recipes lol. on her personal account, she’s also kind of an influencer too. she mostly posts about fashion and food, maybe sometimes stray cats that walk up to her on the streets when she’s going around with her truck. she’s not really famous famous, but has like 30k followers. i feel like i’m just gonna say the same for them all, but she also has a priv twitter account for the sole purpose of including herself in the crazy ass threads where all of the other Bellas are just, going mental. she’s also a pinterest / aesthetic moodboard tumblr girly methinks. 

Lilly: you can only imagine how she texts, if she even does. ominous as fuck. i’m leaving it at that because shes just so,,,,,, well you know.

she doesn’t use social media as far as anyone knows, and she barely has a working phone number. but if we are being real, does anyone really know anything about her anyway???

Ashley + Jessica: i have zero idea??? it’s hard to give personalities to characters whose names are barely confirmed. but i’m guessing they’re the most “normal” out of them all. you know, casual texting and barely posting anywhere. it’s odd. but they are still bellas and we love them. 

[khaleesiofalicante]

A little advice and rant (because for some reason writing things here makes me feel better and hopefully doesn't, in-turn makes your mood somber)

Do you have days when you feel unproductive? What do you do?

This feels embarrassing to admit but I used to be one of those kids who got full marks in school and like the first year in college and now I can feel all that slipping away. I constantly feel like my parents are always disappointed in me. If they call me out, I lash out at them. The fact that I'm writing this is idk humiliating me, but I can't just keep it inside me anymore. Now I feel like I was never smart, I was just really good at faking it and now I'm not? I'm tired of faking it... what scares me is how i have started excepting what I am. It just terrifies me sometimes seeing what I have become. I feel angry when I tell this to a friend and they tell me oh ur smart ul make it and I just wanna scream at them like NO CANT YOU SEE IT IM NOT.

I'm glad you can come talk to me about stuff. I've always liked being someone people can talk to.

I do have days that I feel unproductive, but what you're describing sounds like a phase (for the lack of a better word).

As someone who was also the straight-A student in school, I always felt like school was... easier. College is something that is genuinely difficult in terms of the content we learn, the way we learn, the way we are taught, and our peers too. So, firstly, don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling in college because it's supposed to be a little difficult.

Secondly, college gets harder every year—quite literally. So I think comparing yourself to your grades (or the amount of energy you had) during your first year to now is unfair to you. We don't have infinite amounts of energy and fucks to give. We do have finite amounts of passion for sure. These things get drained slowly, especially as we grow up. So that's why it's so important to study/work on things we enjoy and are passionate about so it's a little easier for us.

As someone whose self-esteem is very much tied to their intelligence, I understand you deeply. I once had a panic attack (a bad one) in my college bathroom when I found out I got a B in a subject. I remember my mom laughing and being like, "That's it? You're so dramatic," when I felt like I was literally collapsing.

So, I get you. I understand the need to be smart. But what I have moved away from is trying to measure my smartness through my grades. Because guess what? Grades don't fucking matter when you leave school/uni. It's not how we judge ourselves or our abilities. Now once you leave school/uni. It is a ridiculous system, and we mustn't let it make us feel shit about ourselves.

Just because you are not getting the same grades you used to, it doesn't mean you're not smart anymore. You do realize you literally know more than you did 2 or 3 years ago? You know more than you did a month ago? You are literally getting smarter every day. Just because it's not reflected in your grades doesn't mean you're not smart.

The fact that your grades are slipping could be because of so many things. The exam marking styles could have changed, the teachers could've become stricter, the subject might be harder, or maybe you have more difficulty remembering details because you are older and your brain has more things to focus on now. It could be any number of things. These are all things you can work on and improve.

There are lots of ways you can do this. Consider using a new learning style. I was always someone who learned visually, and I experimented with auditory learning in uni and realized voices are actually easier to remember than visuals (especially when I got older and could focus better). You can learn with others. It's okay to think of yourself as smart, but don't ever think you're the smartest person in the room - that shit is bad for you. So if you're struggling, look at the people who are not. Ask them to help. It doesn't make you stupid or small. Asking for help is the smartest thing anyone who wants to survive can do.

These are all things you can do to "get better" and go back to those standards you have set for yourself.

But from my heart, I tell you, don't try to live up to the standards you set for yourself when you were in school. The way you judged yourself in school cannot be the same system you judge yourself as an adult. It's two completely different lives, and trying to live up to those standards will only make you feel shit about yourself.

For what it's worth, I don't think you were faking it before. People don't feel so guilty and bad about losing something they faked. If this is something you want to fix and get back to those old grades, then like I said, try new things and see what works and what doesn't. But if you don't want to try too hard, that's okay too. It's not something to be ashamed about. I think the standards we set for ourselves should be based on our current realities, not our past or our future.

I am sure you will figure this one out and will feel like yourself again. You are smart. I have faith in you. You got this.

PS - Not to condone violence, but it's impossible to feel smart when the people around you make you feel stupid, so I don't blame you for lashing out at your parents. If their lack of support is making things worse, you need to tell them. If they want you to be smart, then they better act like it too.

Love 💜

[chaifootsteps]

y'know, im usually against using screenshot of people doing bad stuff in the past to "prove" that they are bad people nowdays; for example, when they try to get some youtuber cancelled because he said a slur 6 years ago or something.

Because that just negates the fact that us humans commit a lot mistakes, sometimes we do mean stuff, but that doesnt make us terrible humans that are incapable of redeming themseves, most of us grow out of those ugly behaviours, and learn to be decent human beings.

However, with miss Vivziepop its a different story, i like the fact that that we are still finding screenshot of her doing heinous things in the past, for 3 important reasons:

First, The things she did are like, actually really bad.

Its not like most cases where its like "omg this dud said the n-word when he was 12 and didnt know what a slur was! We must cancell him!1!", no, the things Vivziepop did are always when she was a grown ass woman that know what she was doing, she was just being evil.

And then you have her fans insisting those arent "that bad", thats its "a nothing burger", etc. And like, yeah, they ARE bad, those things are really mean and people arent evil for pinting it out.

It is important for growing up to reconise that our past behaviours were not good, thats how we learn better.

Defending a stranger on the internet will just lead you to repeat those behaviours of your idol because you conviced yourself those arent "that bad", until you do them and then you get hit with reality because, thanks to those behaviours, people dont like you anymore and see you as a rude toxic person.

Second, she proved many times she NEVER changed.

She still shows those gross behaviours, unlike most people she never learned to be a better person.

For example: that catcalling comic was made years ago, so, i guess it doesnt represent her views anymore, right? She is no longer misogynist, right?

Well, the way she treats her female characters, plus how she gets mad at people pointing out how badly written they are, proves she never stoped having those mean ideas about women.

Or how about those aboit how she was shaming a fan for not paying her what she wanted and making them feel bad for it? Obviously she grew up and never did something so mean like that again...

Oh wait! No she didnt, every once in a while we see her throwing a fissy fit about people criticising her work and liking tweets of her fans saying people are EVIL for not loving her and giving her all the support in the world.

And about those abuse allegations... wait, those are not even old, most of them are from less than a year ago. You cant even "those were years ago" out of this one.

So fuck the "those were long time ago, she changed!", thats total bs.

And finally, every time she responded or "apologised" for these acusations, she keep proving that she didnt belive she did anything wrong and its just "the haters" being mean.

Anybody remember when she made a weird ass apology that started with "i would apologise for existing, but i know people would get mad at me still"? Her responses are always full of "actually, YOU are the mean one for calling me out, look how bad i feel? Dont you feel any shame?".

One day she will def make a shitty youtube apology video where she admits everything but with the classic "i was in a bad place", "i didnt know what i was doing", basically painting everything as "just a mistake" and not her being an evil asshole. Then half of the video will be her ranting about how this whole situation that SHE created is making HER sad, she will probably said something like "i just wanted to make cartoons and people are being mean :(((" to victimise herself.

Mark my words, we will have a Vivziepop ukelele apology in any day of 2024, im really sure.

All I can say is that after everything she's put people through, she'd better have a damn ukulele.

[beesmygod]

So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?

note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc

i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.

botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.

none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.

mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.

this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game

totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.

sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.

there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.

for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".

also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.

also nerf rain

[alphabetboyluvr]

Hey Holly😬😬😬

So I wanted to ask have you ever come across things like copying stuff and ideas from one book?? I mean if you read a book or you get inspired from a particular scene/dialog that you re-write it but you still get called out because of that??? Do you get bothered by that?? I mean there is this😅 bunch of teenage indian authors on wattpad that every now and then starts blaming and fighting that they copied their stuff,book name,dialogues. What do you think of this??

You probably have seen the viral orange peel theory that is going viral on insta/tiktok. I was talking about that😅😅

heyaaa !!

i've seen a lot of discourse around the concept of copying / plagiarism recently and I do have some thoughts on it.

i assume you mean if i get bothered when i see people have clearly taken inspiration from my work?

i keep my feet firmly out of the fanfic reading space for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is because i've seen how easy it is to pick up inspiration and sprinkle it into your own work without even realising—not maliciously, or ill-intentioned at all, but undeniable with retrospect.

i don't ever want to find myself in the position of having spent hours writing something only for it to be reduced to nothing because of innocent mistakes (as I've seen happen with other writers) so yeah, i don't read within the fanfic space (which is also why im terrible with recs haha).

NOW in regards to people taking inspiration from my stuff, i'm well aware that it happens. I first noticed it happened with you up? and its never really stopped.

there's a handful of stories i've seen on wattpad from people i know read my work, who write in a very similar way to me. things like plot, narrative voice, character arcs, relationships, even the way i doodle at the start of my chapters—if it can be lifted and reworked, it has, and im sure only seen the tip of the iceberg.

similarly, i've also seen big writers write scenes in their stories with an almost identical play by play to some of my scenes, but i have no way of knowing if they've read my work—but it has made me go back and check the dates of my uploads to make sure i have my 'well actually...' response ready incase any of their fans try and come for me hahaha.

i've had extensive conversations with my writer friends about this and my general thoughts are: i don't care.

i could go on a big old rant about it all, but i know my opinion is a bit odd considering i'm a writer.

writing is a deeply personal craft, but it's also something that we learn and develop through time. if people are inspired by my work, then it must mean I'm doing something right. in time, they'll develop their own style. I encourage them to continue writing until they find their own voice.

history and literature is full of reworking and retellings. Shakespeare was notorious for it!

I'm not gonna get pressed if someone is so moved by my work to the point they wanna create their own version. I'll be honoured to be a part of their creative process. of course there is a limit to this—I know there's at least one story on wattpad floating around with a similar dynamic to BD with origami being used as a crux for fears, which does make me raise my brows a little bit, but at the end of the day, I'm the one who chose to upload my fanfic for free on a website that is known to not be exactly the most original of places.

someone else writing a similar concept to mine doesn't take away from the value of my work. if anything, it just proves that my writing has had an impact.

so yeah if you ever see someone and think huh this reads a lot like hollys work, or anything like that, just leave it be. don't run people off of a site, or force them to stop doing a hobby that likely causes them joy, for my sake.

it's funny because a few people have actually asked me to write an orange peel theory fic haha. we, as writers, don't own concepts and we also write about the same seven men. there will be inevitable overlap. it's all just pixels, at the end of the day.

[threepoint14art]

Ok so first of all i love reading your guys' tags always and forever, second of all @chocottang HIII CHOCOO (please do tell me if tagging annoys you!) You turned my braincell on, you asked such a simple and normal question and now you are gonna get lore'd about spring im so sorry- ok ok so answer here and then i start ranting about all the things ive done to this poor man if anyones interested:

He is not on the aro spectrum he just never really thought about romance for the LONGEST time. Rubbing my hands like an evil fly why would that be? Read to find out

Also while spring himself is not on the aroace spectrum i do present cami, owynn, bonnie and puppet to you humbly, the silliests ever

Basically, as you MAY have noticed, the guy has a lot of burn scars (shocking), that's because when he was little his house burnt down and his parents died and he got super fucked up, he's been in the foster system since he was like 10, no family wanted to take him in because his parents had him when they were super young and thus were disowned. So we start off strong with that, and it gets worse!

I wanted to make spring a little more unhinged because wowzers the sprintrap animatronic is evil, however his chill attitude captivated me, so i decided to make the unhinged him be his younger self, children are cruel adults are scary people in the foster system get treated as "a way to give people who cant have bio kids families" or "charity cases" instead of normal children with a lot of unnadressed issues who deserve a change to grow up with a semblance of normalcy. He was alone and scared and angry at life and thus tended to get into a lot of fights and to stealing stuff and such. Problem kid status + visibly scarred led him to never really finding a permanent home, not that he wanted one, because most of the adults in his life scared him and also wanted him to have a "new" life, AKA forget his parents and accept these new strangers as parents, horrible!

This little kid who is very scared and alone and wishes for nothing more than his parents calming him down again meets 2 even smaller kids and just, projects onto them. He started coping with all the stuff in his head through taking care of children and pretending it was also him who was being taken care of so softly and tenderly, the children being meg and fox. He just starts taking care of them and subconciously growing up really fast to get them the support and whatever they need and then out of literally nowhere hes 18. He's like "oh crap wth" Gets send off to the real world having BARELY graduated from highschool and with some money, he cannot bear the thought of losing any more people and just looks into becoming the other 2's legal guardian and gets them out of the system to live with him in the worlds cheapest house he could find

So what I mean is that he hyperfocused on being a caretaker and getting money and growing up and getting ten thousand things that the thought of romance was not even anywhere near his head, having FRIENDS was nowhere near his head. He had to find a job he had to enroll the other 2 into school he had to find another job he had to make sure their house didn't fall apart by the seams. Also fun fact, the more he grew up the more he realized he is a literal carbon copy of his dad, but visibly scarred! have fun looking in the mirror buddy

In his head, he does not really see himself as a full grown adult even though hes 24, and his weird thought of "adults being scary" still persists even though he himself is one, he doesn't like talking to grown people and that isn't helped by how he spent most of his life with Fox and Meg, he is not used to talking to people his age or older and he was too busy to actually process that romance might be something he wanted when he was just drowning in ten other thousand things already. As he got older and fox and meg also got older and got partime jobs his burden was lessened a lot and he was allowed to CHILL a little

So those 2 idiots in the drawing are vincent and leti,,, they might look like ocs and at this point they kinda are but they ARE based on the bg characters of Camarero and "Novia", they both also have their own can of worms to unpack it's insane.

Spring met Vincent at work, new coworker new hire and then Leti just stopped by sometimes to talk to vincent and he went thought ten billion crisis because "having a crush as an adult is so embarassing i need to be paying taxes"

So TLDR he had his first crushes ever at 24 because at that age he was actually allowed to chill a little and his brain finally had the room to process that romance was in fact, real. He also had to go through the "i like men???????? Im poly??¿¿" thoughts at 24, he shoulda've been at the club/ref

[tentacledwizard]

3 and 37 for ask game if you please :)

(rubs hands together gleefully) you asked about movies. this is my moment. Hold on to your hats, it’s Tentacledwizard Rant Hour.

3 films I could watch for the rest of my life and not get bored of:

FACE/OFF, dir. John Woo. 1997, rated R for faces being taken off, killing and murder, John Travolta licking his fake daughter’s face, pretty much everything you can think of that’s R-rated. Starring Nicolas Cage and John Travolta.

 So, I was told I shouldn’t watch this movie because it was “boring” and “terrible.” ok, dad. sure. It proved to be neither! As soon as I finished it I wanted to rewatch it just to observe the nuances in Nick Cage’s acting. And John Travolta’s, but Cage is who I’m really here for. He plays this unhinged, flamboyant villain, then does a complete 180 (body swap, sorta) and plays a straight-laced FBI man PREVIOUSLY played by John Travolta (who, you guessed it, now plays the flamboyant villain).

The acting. The ACTING augh I could analyze it for hours. I’m not even good at analyzing facial expressions and stuff (it is the tism) but the acting skill in this movie made me even more of a Nicolas Cage fan. The sheer range of emotions that wash over his face during a fight scene in a prison. god DAAAAMN. He plays two men in one movie- one who’s just batshit insane and reveling in it, and another who feels like he’s become the former in more ways than just physical.  

 FBI Man finds himself melting into this persona he’s playing, and he feels perversely drawn towards the villain’s lifestyle. He’s wearing the face of the guy who killed his child, and he’s starting to enjoy it. Meanwhile John Travolta walks around wearing the face and mannerisms of a straight-laced FBI man, and his ascent to power is scary to watch. It’s (rolls around on floor screaming) it’s so good. I haven’t seen A LOT of movies so if you asked me this question in a couple months, my answers here would probably change. However, Face/Off is not moving off this list. 

There’s even a funky little evil man who stole scenes from Cage himself. He plays the villain’s brother, Pollux (name sounds like Sollux, and he  points out the inherent eroticism of salmon in documentaries). Something about his line delivery has made me deeply obsessed with him. He and his brother are messed up and evil but they care about each other almost codependently. It’s fascinating to me. Also for some reason the scene where Nick Cage talks about his first date with his wife makes me cry. One second I’m thinking about the scientific inaccuracies inherent in the movie’s plot, and the next I’m looking at Cage’s sad face through a layer of saline. Curse you, sentimentality.

So, yeah, Face/Off is incredibly good. Certainly not perfect, but super fun. Also this is the 90s and all the stunts are entirely practical, which is super sick. The two golden guns are iconic and almost certainly inspired Jake English’s strife specibus, lmao. And… Nick Cage! Yeah I think that’s enough Face/Off thoughts I can put here before this becomes an entire longpost. (checks Face/Off google results) HOLD ON NOW there’s going to be a Face/Off 2? Or is this just a rumor? Woah. I will have to google this.

National Treasure, dir. John Turteltaub. 2004. Rated PG-13 for guns and a mildly suggestive scene because of course they had to put a blonde lady in a mildly suggestive scene, and British people. Stars Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, and Diane Kruger. 

Yeah ok at this point this is like my default movie. Should I be ashamed for enjoying this? Nuh uh. Life is too short to be ashamed for enjoying a silly action movie. Im killing cringe culture with two golden guns. In other news I have seen this movie eight times, and talked about it to anyone who’d listen. Here is a full review of it that I wrote. When I missed out on a trip to Washington DC, I watched this to really immerse myself in the setting. When my mom and I wanted to watch a film, I put this on and she said “phallus” every time the Washington Monument was onscreen because she’s fun like that. When my best friend whom I love dearly came over, the first thing I did was put on National Treasure. It’s kept me grounded and also gives me a good chuckle at some of the goofier scenes. This movie is a…

It’s a…

The joke is low-hanging fruit, but yeah, it’s a national treasure. This is admittedly Cage at his most mainstream. He’s an action movie hero guy, but in a PG-13 movie made by Disney. When asked about a possible National Treasure 3 in interviews, Cage seems kinda annoyed. I mean hey, I would be too. His acting in this film doesn’t seem like something he’s personally interested in, although he does a good job. However, I think his character’s parallels with Nick Cage’s real life are pretty interesting, especially because the director knew Cage since highschool. More on that later.

Where Face/Off’s selling point was “Nick Cage and John Travolta swap faces,” this one’s is “Nicolas Cage steals the Declaration of Independence.” And then a bunch of other stuff happens, but that one sequence is the best in the entire movie. The parallels and differences between two teams’ methods of stealing the Declaration really got to me. After that, there’s a bunch of adventuring… making leaps in logic… puzzles… what’s not to love! :D I will say that the main character is somewhat casually misogynistic in this film, which makes me grimace every time. He does learn his lesson in the second movie (though he remains pretty static, which frustrates me because there was an OBVIOUS CHANCE for character growth there… hmm maybe I will review nat treasure 2 sometime).

Something I forgot to mention in my full review is that Jon Voight and Harvey Keitel are in this movie, which is quite the slay. However, this means that I ended up thinking of Jon Voight as a Good Guy the next movie I saw him in (Mission Impossible). Uh. so apparently Jon Voight plays a lot of villains. As for Harvey Keitel, he plays an FBI Man. (looks at “Harvey Keitel movies” page) OH SHIT he’s in THAT MANY iconic movies?? That’s awesome. He’s a cool guy!

Ok, let me talk about Jon Turteltaub. So Nick Cage and Jon Turteltaub went to the same high school, and they both wanted the lead role in Our Town. (Trust me on this, I’ve read like three Nicolas Cage biographies.) Turteltaub got the lead role, whereas Cage got the role of Constable Warren. According to this interview, Turteltaub never let him live it down. Ouch. So after that, Cage couldn’t stand Our Town. and then after THAT, Jon Turteltaub went on to direct the National Treasure movies. Guess who stars in National Treasure! Yeah, that’s an anecdote that is just really funny to me. They also collaborated on Sorcerer's Apprentice, which I have yet to see. Nick Cage plays a sorcerer, hells yeah. Now according to Turteltaub, “there’s a lot more Nic in [the sorcerer] than in [the main character of National Treasure].” Yup, that’s pretty much what I thought. (shakes head) Nick Cage movies, amirite? If you really want a lot more National Treasure thoughts, check out my review! Yeah ok that’s enough shilling for myself, ha ha. This is a cool movie and you can watch it whenever, with whoever. Probably. P.S. everyone is at their most autistic swag in this movie. But especially Riley Poole, played by Justin Bartha. I adore him. 

3. Anger Management dir. Peter Segal. 2003. Somehow rated PG-13 despite the constant sex jokes. Starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.

Ha ha, PSYCHE. i absolutely hate this movie

3. Employee of the Month dir. Greg Coolidge. 2006. Rated PG-13 for retail working and reference to Vince Downey [Dax Shepard] seducing women in various places around a Costco. Stars Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, and Dax Shepard.

I really like this movie. What more can I say? It’s a low-budget rom-com from 2006, and the director did not need to go that hard with the gay subtext. But he did! And I am forever grateful. (checks time) it’s getting kind of late, so let me direct you to my super hype review that I wrote a while ago. The reason I wouldn’t get bored of watching this movie is the sometimes batshit, beautiful turns the plot takes. Bam, this rom-com is now randomly a sports movie for a few minutes. Now Vince and his sidekick Jorge are breaking into the main character’s house to make him late for work. I don’t really know how to explain, I just love that kind of thing in a movie. It’s unpredictable and fun in kind of a stupid way. 

Also, Jorge and Vince are the emotional core of the movie. Their relationship is messy, but it’s even more sweet and heartfelt than the actual main romance of the story. It’s the romantic B-plot. If Employee of the Month were an Alternian movie, Karkat would go into a huge rant about its portrayal of moirallegiance through Vinzce and… Jorgay (lmao). Pretty similar to what I did in my previous review. If you realllyyyy wanna read a scene-by-scene breakdown of their relationship, check that one out! Actually that one is just me having emotions about them. “OMG THEY HUGGED.” u kno. that sort of thing lmao. @creatcher made some fanart of them kissing yey :D

So, yes, Vince and Jorge are amazing, and Jorge is especially amazing. Can’t wait to see Napoleon Dynamite (his actor plays Pedro in that one). There’s a lot to be said about the character Efren Ramirez plays here, but I doubt I have the expertise to really do a critical analysis. also this is still a low-budget romcom about retail workers. OH yeah also the plot is really funny- the romance turns out to have very little by way of stakes, so it’s actually Zack (played by Dane Cook) competing against Vince for employee of the month. That’s the core conflict of the movie. Well, one of them. They’re literally jousting in a costco like “two gay old sailors” (Vince’s words, not mine). This movie portrayed homestuck quadrants before they were even a thing (refer to a shipping chart @cgtg and i did for more clarity). Employee of the Month is unexpectedly great. Obviously none of the movies on my list are perfect- this one includes some racism/ableism from Vince, and I already mentioned the National Treasure misogyny- but they have a lot of redeeming qualities. And i mean a LOT.  they also all have a short guy for me to be obsessed with. So that’s the three movies I picked, and why I’ll never get bored of them. Hmm. I guess it depends on how many times I watch them!

Share a secret: 

 Hmmmm ok this is a tough one. uuuh… ok here goes: My darkest secret is that my crush looks exactly like John Egbert. There’s a real person in real life who looks like John Egbert. One cannot fathom the amount of horror this entails. They even have the same taste in movies. The same SHOES. That’s your secret for the day, tune in for more at 10!

Yep, I wrote a lot of stuff for this ask. It was fun, though. I enjoy ranting about movies. Thanks for the qs!

[codecicle]

Read the intro post

wow what a cool and awesome person...

FUCKING 14 YOU ARE A CHILD MY GOOD SIR??? /LH

1: YOOOOOO YOU THINK IM A COOL AND AWESOME PERSON?? THANKS MAN :DD and 2: LMAOOOOOO YEA I AM!! I've been on here since I was like, 11-ish? not sure. my friend introduced me to tumblr during the beginning of my 7th grade year! (and fun fact: that same friend is both my mutual and the person that gave me my nickname actually!! which turned into my url ^_^)

anyway, I'm going to rant underneath your ask about being a child now im so sorry 😔

It's always been so weird being as young as I am both on tumblr and in the fandom space I'm currently a part of. Like realistically, a 14 y/o boy liking minecraft/mcyt sounds really normal but I don't know anyone my age that is open about being a part of this space. I think growing up on tumblr instead or twitter or tiktok honestly really helped when it comes to being happy in my intrests, since almost every other freshman to ever exist has no idea what this website is and they have no chance of ever finding my posts to make fun of me with them. I still use the other two, but I don't post and I only really open them when a cc like Charlie or Ted posts.

It's hilarious to me that because of my current intrests (jrwi and charlie in general) almost everyone that I'm friends with on here are much older minors or adults, mainly because charlie has a pretty mature and well rounded audience (THANK FUCKING GOD 🙏🙏), but also because everybody else my age that are in this fandom are on tiktok. Using tiktok for me and actually posting is kinda unsafe because of the way the tiktok contact sharing works? if someone from my classes finds it through "recommend accounts" then they can look through my account and harrass me if they recognize who it is. Not to steal a Charlie Slimecicle quote for a second, but I was rewatching an old podcast episode from the very beginning of 2020 and he described it as "elevated highschool" which I 100% agree with. Even 3 years later it's still very much just a higher form of highschool bullshit to have to deal with.

But since I don't post on tiktok I don't really have much to worry about!! My account is blank and it's the same @ as my url so nobody should recognize it and put a face to a name which im grateful for. However, being on tumblr isn't the greatest either;

People on here are all adults and I feel a little bit intimidated? In a sense? I understand that I'm a LOT different than most kids my age and I don't typically have anything to worry about but!! I feel like that's what makes it worse. The other people my age that were or still are on here don't understand tumblr etiquette, don't understand not to act like this is twitter and not have stupid cubito discourse, or just aren't funny? Idk I've just never found anyone my age (with the exception of like 3 of my mutuals you guys are amazing and I love you) that I can really talk to on here, so all of the friends I've made are much much older. I'm smart with who I talk to and how I talk to them so I'm safe don't worry!! My parents raised me right and online safety is such a wonderful thing, but one of my closest mutuals on here is in college right now, and the others are juniors or seniors in highschool. I kept my age out of my bio for so long but honestly that was because I was terrified I would scare away the people that I trusted so much because literally obviously it's going to feel weird for them to be mutuals with a genuine honest to god child. I'm relatively close to turning 15 so I'm getting less and less worried about stuff like that happening but eh that was still a real fear for a while.

Anyway sorry for the rant!! TLDR; highschool sucks, I'm scared of being this young on a platform and fandom full of adults and I have to be extra careful, and also charlie slimecicle is a pretty cool guy to look up to so I feel like him being [vine boom sound effect] my COMFORT STREAMER kinda works out in my favor ngl :D

[bbyquokka]

rant bc im so tired and demotivated from this...

imma try and get my thoughts in order. i go through my feedback and see this.

you see that? yeah, my fic got slapped with a community label.

89 notes in 1 day. normally, I'd think it's just Tumblr being Tumblr and their finicky bots however;

this got flagged within 11 hours of it being up. not even a full day and it got flagged. since then, it's reached 96 notes. once this label is slapped on a piece of work; it's there for good! i can't get rid of it, it's permanently there meaning interactions become little to none.

i don't wanna make assumptions however, whoever is fucking reporting/flagging my works; kindly leave. Normally, i'd get a notification saying my work has been flagged, however, for the two pieces posted in this post, I did not.

i don't understand how my Hyunjin and Seungmin fic managed to avoid the label. maybe i am grasping at straws, maybe this is tumblr being an absolute pain in my ass rn, however, if you are reporting my shit; kindly stop.

i tag my posts with the appropriate tags, so i don't understand why people feel the need to report mine PLUS other people's works because i know it's happening to a lot more writers.

you have no idea what it does to a writer to see that their work is being flagged. interactions go down, likes, reblogs are none existent. i was nervous posting my changlix fic, first poly fic i've done that has mxm elements and to see it do so poorly PURELY BECAUSE OF THE LABEL is demotivating and demoralising.

i have fics planned, fics that are hella smutty but it's making me anxious and question whether i CAN post because how do I know that my works won't get reported again?

pls make sure you have you settings fixed so you can all still see mine and other people's work. I know we all sound like broken records at this point, but it's so so so important to many of us.

i try and not let it get to me. i write for myself and for people that enjoy my type of stuff. however, i am human, i have emotions and it i'd be lying if i said it doesnt get to me

stop with this nonsense. you don't like smut, don't read it. in fact, wtf are you doing looking at smut tags in the first place? leave me alone.

[cielomist]

This is very much not april fools related i genuinely want to hear your thoughts /srs but i am begging you can i Pls have a full ass rant abt all your vexen thoughts im backreading through propaganda and youre making me go OUGH - @fuckable-kh-men-battle

HOUGH

i want to preface this by saying i am not super articulate, i am very much a person that just rotates characters in my head at high speeds and doesn't form super coherent thoughts, but by god i know i have a lot of vexen thoughts its just gonna take some time to put them into like, understandable words

under a cut bc im sure its gonna get long. also im sorry that this is so incredibly disorganized.

OK SO

i have loved vexen. ever since i was a kid. i never even played com i just saw him in the kh2 journal and was like "THAT ONE"

(i was also deep in the like… 2009-era deviantart kh fandom, but… 😬)

but getting into the deeper stuff, vexen has this fun little dichotomy of somehow being incredibly cringefail but also EXTREMELY accomplished. he brags about how smart he is, he giggles to himself about it in the castle in days, and it comes across as this pathetic little man just being full of himself, but he also can like, legitimately back it up? he just MADE another riku. he MADE xion, and xion is absolutely extraordinary because she was not supposed to develop as her own person, but he was just so damn good at making just real ass PEOPLE that xion became her own person with her own thoughts and feelings and dreams

one of my favourite scenes is this one. first of all i live for all interactions between vexen/even and zexion/ienzo because GOD. i'm fucking obsessed with dad!even as a concept and i love thinking of the dynamics between ienzo and all his dads and i need to stop myself here or i'm gonna go off on a whole other tangent about ienzo specifically and how fucked his entire life was--

anyway that scene is one of my favs because i just love vexen running through the castle, yelling for his son, because his boss is actively avoiding him. i just assume this is how it always is with him.

also it's been pointed out that vexen, when talking with zexion, will often bend so he's eye level with him and i love that. i adore that.

also speaking of vexen/even and zexion/ienzo, THIS

god sorry i just read ienzo's character file and he mentioned even would scold atw for buying ienzo so much ice cream and i love that mental image. atw is literally king of radiant garden and even's bitching him out for spoiling his 8-year-old

and god VEXEN'S CHARACTER FILE... "I had lost sight of why I wanted to be clever in the first place. I wanted to be clever because I wanted to be helpful to someone." HHHHHHHH even became a scientist in the first place because he waanted to HELP PEOPLE and he got in this spiral of "i need to be smart to help people" and he worked HARD to become smarter and eventually dropped the "to help people" presumably because of xehanort and then when he was recompleted the first time he REMEMBERED WHY he wanted to do all the things he wanted to do in the first place, and in order to help people he gave up his heart, his humanity, what the original organization had been WORKING TOWARDS THE WHOLE TIME and i just. ough.

also in birth by sleep even talks to ven for like, two minutes maximum and from that is able to just deduce that ven's heart is not only completely devoid of darkness, but also that any darkness he DID have was forcibly removed. i don't know where to fit this tidbit in but i think about it a lot.

i mentioned in one of my propaganda asks a post that theorized about vexen's shield, and while i still can't find that post i did remember a fic i read based of of it

i somehow don't have coherent thoughts on his redemption arc in kh3. i get distracted by how pretty he looks when he says he wants to atone i think. but his little monologue when he's trying to convince demyx to help him out... ough. i am personally of the opinion that even was the apprentice with an actual like, medical phd. i think all of the apprentices specialized in different things, and i don't really have a solidified idea for anyone else (though dilan is shown to like flowers in his character file, though i think that gardening is a hobby for him rather than his professional field) but that's my Even's Professional Career headcanon. he absolutely has the entire ICD manual memorized. and rememorizes it every time it updates.

i also think post-kh3 when he was re-humaned he just straight up euthanized himself to be recompleted. he didn't want to wait to regrow a heart and it beat the hell out of immolation, axel

anyway i really wish people wouldn't reduce vexen/even to just being a creepy weirdo; he has SO MUCH to him, but ultimately i think people overlook him because he's not an anime prettyboy and i and the other vexenfuckers are stronger and smarter and sexier than everyone else

for now that's all i've got. if i think of more things i will rb with more vexen thoughts. thank u for your patience as i go insane writing this. <3

(fun fact! when i was in middle school (maybe high school?) i set his japanese laugh as my alarm and to this day i remember it bleeding into one of my dreams via a man in a parking lot laughing at me until i woke up and realized it was my alarm going off for school)

[bye-bye-firefly]

I’m really glad that ao3 doesn’t have an actual pro-ai policy at the moment! I’m planning on doing some research on what Unseeliekey brought up just to at least understand what he’s talking about. I was honestly really confused and freaked out reading what he was saying. But yeah, I’m sad too. You’ve got the right to remain right here with me and it’s a little more fun when I’m with you are two of the fics that made me not only get pretty into Saiou but also made me more attached to DR and into reading fanfiction in general. And it’s just like really upsetting to see something that had that much of an effect on me be gone and know that not everyone who is in the fandom or will get into the fandom will be able to see that.

I also really hope that there’s some sort of way to glaze works too. Making stuff inaccessible to guests is always sad. When I first started reading fanfiction I was a guest and like a lot of people don’t use accounts for various reasons and it’s just sad to think about account locked stuff. And it would be so nice if the ais would just Not. Like why can’t they???? Why???

Anyway, right now I don’t think there’s any full proof, everyone will be able to be happy way to prevent the ai scraping but I’m sure you’ll figure something out that’ll be alright for at least what can be done at the moment. Your works are very cool. I really, really love them. They bring me lots of joy. Thank you for all the joy. It’s super awesome.

okay this is a REALLY long answer because i went on a whole rant so im going to cut this for people who are just scrolling normally. but also im totally going to put this into my pinned tag

a lot of what was said was like. Half true. my counterpoint to him saying that ao3 supports cp or rape or sexual assault is that no matter where you go on the internet, you will find shit like that. EVERYWHERE. ao3 doesnt support it i really seriously doubt that anyone outside of those spaces supports shit like that but ao3 is an ARCHIVE. and when you put things in the archive, you are allowed to submit whatever the fuck you want. setting rules on what could be put into the archive automatically means that other fics, which explore the topic in a critical, non-fetishistic way, are ALSO up to scrutiny. fics that explore the psyche of trauma victims? they might not be allowed. regular degular fetish content, no minors involved? completely up to scrutiny. im really not a fan of censorship OR some of the shit on the internet, but i can only control ONE THING and thats what i allow myself to see. i really dont like people saying that ao3 deserves to be taken down because of that because then that would mean twitter deserves to go down, social media as a whole deserves to go down, and just generally i dont trust people who push the "think of the CHILDREN" argument. you see republicans push that when theyre trying to ban trans or gay people out of existence so INSTANTLY alarm bells start going off in my head, not to imply that i think every single person who pushes that argument in this context is republican or right-wing. just bothers me and looks like a red flag

and to instantly get it out of the way im not involved in the fucking proship/anti discourse that whole distinction feels like destruction of critical thinking antis are often puritanicals and would kill me if they saw what i write in nameless and gasp at published books that delve into topics they think are off limits and many of the proshippers ive come across are weirdos who think that its totally normal to write romance between minors and adults in a positive light like its NORMAL and that we shouldnt think less of people who do that but fyi i am totally thinking less of people who do that and im totally thinking less of people who hate me for writing my unhealthy/toxic/abusive/codependent relationships that dont even fetishise those kinds of relationships like GET OVER IT!!!! BE NORMAL!!! GO OUTSIDE LICK A DOORKNOB KISS A GIRL DO SOMETHING!!!!!

if there is ever any advice i can give to people its to form your own opinions and dont try to put a strict solid label on your opinion because sometimes you will betray your label and youll think to yourself "am i even really that thing......." people are complex and hold many different opinions that sometimes contradict one another and thats fine. logic your shit out dont fall for charming little labels that pin you strictly on one side of an argument it makes you less likely to actually reach a point where you have a strong opinion that makes sense AND can compromise and thus bring someone more onto your side. forever

ANYWAY YEAH! i settled on making it so my osomatsu san fics go account only on the 20th and then also some of my older danganronpa single chapters go account only with them, but the multichapters im currently working on will go account only when theyre finished, with exceptions for when theres rumours going around of a scrape. makes me so oo oodofooafgofjgj mad GRRAAGGHGHGGHG

but thank you i am glad to bring joy to people's lives. readers and comments bring me a ton of joy and im glad that i can give that back to everyone ^_^ i seriously cannot thank readers and commenters enough like i never feel like i get it across well enough how grateful i am for everyone who reads my stories and gives me kudos and the people who comment like. it brings me so much joy that i cannot properly verbalise EVER