#this is it I'm so sorry T_T

[rjshope]

MiniMoni + their bond

for @outroindigo✨

[lacebird]

#the absolute cutest 🥺

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[potionbarrel]

i'm going to be attempting science team-tober again this year! i updated the prompt list with a few new ones.

like the last year i did this, i'll be reblogging as much art as i can in the #scienceteamtober tag over on the dedicated @scienceteamtober sideblog! there's no pressure to finish them all- i likely won't be able to myself! join in any time you want, do as many as you want, and have fun with it!

EDIT: if you're participating and want your art reblogged, please @ either potionbarrel or scienceteamtober— new posts aren't showing up in the tag! <:( any @'s or direct messages are welcome! i wanna see everyone's art but tumblr hates when i have fun

[nanihirunkits]

KIDNAP | EP8

[writing-in-glitter-pen]

II Childe’s Anger II

There's a darker side to Childe that he never lets you see. The wild temper he struggles to keep under lock and key in your presence. You were his everything, his one and only, his family---so when he almost loses you, that temper snaps forward like a venemous snake.

childe x fem!reader II angst, hurt/comfort.

word count: 2,865 cash money

content warnings: Descriptions of anger (mention of throwing things but not at reader or in reader's presence), descriptions of injury.

It doesn't matter how angry you make him or how horrible what you've done is, Childe can always be swayed by you. You could tear off his right arm then sell it for pocket change and he'd still only be able to resist your honeyed words and doe-eyed pleas for about a minute. He just turns into a goofy-faced pile of mush at any hint of romantic attention you give him, no matter how long you’ve been a couple. Usually, if you've pissed him off, all it takes for him to forgive you is a couple sweet cooings about how he's your favorite man in the world and that you'll only ever belong to him. Hearing those promises from you lights his skin on fire, and he just can't help himself from taking your wrist and tugging you up to his lips. But this time…this time you've really done something unforgivable…

You put yourself in danger.

The night before was a good night; you’d made dinner for Childe, you two snuggled on the couch, you watched a movie on the television he’d gotten from a trip to Fontaine—it was sweet and romantic and relaxing…

Until you brought up a sore subject.

While snuggled up in his lap, cheek resting on his chest, him all but purring in content and happiness, you found it the appropriate time to bring up your intentions for tomorrow.

“Ajax…", they way you sweetly say his birth name never fails to make him melt, "There’s a commission up for grabs at the Adventurer's Guild…someone is lost in the chasm and they want an adventurer to conduct the search.”

“Hmm that’s nice.”, he hummed absentmindedly, resting his chin on the top of your head and hugging you just a little tighter. He has a habit of getting too absorbed into movies; it’s actually quite cute—watching his awe-struck face and twinkling eyes on the screen. He’s like an excited little kid, lost in the movie and the feeling of you in his arms.

“I’d like to take the job.”

Silence.

You almost thought he hadn’t heard you until he stiffly reached for the remote beside his thigh and shut off the TV completely.

“…what was that?”

Something you’ve come to learn about Childe after dating him for so long is: beyond his charming, flippant character in the face of danger, and beyond his unserious approach to dire circumstances…When it comes to the protection of those he loves…he has a temper.

An easily struck temper.

“Childe. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry abou—“

“Absolutely not. You’re not going.”, he said with that edge of finality to his voice you’ve come to be very familiar with, before standing from your shared seat and walking to the kitchen. Putting distance between you two.

Leaning over the back of the couch to look at him---not letting him escape this conversation, you argue, “It’s not your decision. I wasn’t asking. I was letting you know.”.

Normally, you’d be more gentle with your reasoning—carefully explain the safety measures you’ll take and advocate for your skills as an adventurer. But, after playing out this scene with Childe a countless number of times…

No, you can’t go there. No, you can’t do that. Treating you like a toddler that can’t handle herself...

You had, understandably, grown tired of it.

Even from the meters of space between you two, you could see the telltale signs of Childe’s unsavory, protective side rearing it’s head. The set of his jaw, the way he white-knuckles the edge of the counter he’s leaning on…the way he won’t look at you.

There was a long silence between you two—Childe a menacing statue in your kitchen. You weren’t sure if he was even breathing.

You sat there for what felt like ages—starting to get worried about if Childe was ok…would his knuckles break from how hard he’s holding onto that counter?

Finally, he spoke, his voice caught between a breathy exhale and a rumbling growl.

“If you try to go…

…I will keep you in this house until the commission is over.”

You knew he would.

Even with his demanding job, he’d find a way.

So you had no choice but to relent.

“Ok…I won’t go.”

Childe hated being like this—he hated imposing on you, hated the way he reacted to these sorts of things. He couldn’t keep his cool.

But it’s your safety. You're his family now, the most precious thing in the world to him—if anything happened to you…he’d lose himself. He’d go mad and burn every inch of this world down. It would be worthless garbage if you weren't in it.

So he had to be like this. He had to protect you. At any cost. Even if it upsets you, even if it makes you hate him, he’ll keep doing it. As long as he lives, he’ll put himself right between you and any threat—even if it displeases you. Even if he knows you can handle it yourself. Childe doesn’t take risks when it comes to you.

He felt guilty. And when he feels guilty he goes quiet, and distant. His vices are embedded within him—even if he apologizes, they won’t go away. It’s hard to apologize for...yourself. And it’s even harder for him to apologize for himself to you—the beautiful, endlessly loving, perfect person...who made the mistake of wandering into this controlling monster’s life.

You didn’t believe that, but he did.

So he went to his office.

And stayed there the rest of the night.

———

He wasn’t in bed with you when you woke up, when you turned over to reach for him only to get a fistful of cold sheets.

He wasn’t there when you checked his office, either.

...so he didn’t notice when you left to take the commission.

He may be your boyfriend, but he wasn’t your warden. He couldn’t control your actions or tell you what to do. Especially after losing his cool and leaving you to sleep alone last night. If he was just going to disappear on you, then you could disappear on him.

…you knew it was horrible reasoning, but you were too stubborn to turn back.

And what do you know? Horrible reasoning leads to horrible outcomes.

You got hurt. And not hurt like the usual cuts and scrapes you get on your dailies. No. Real hurt. You-could’ve-lost-your-life hurt.

All you had to do today was a quick check in with the search party, a little reconnaissance, and then you’re back before Childe knows it.

But during your reconnaissance, your glider was torn by a stalagmite, obscured by the darkness of the cave, causing you to land on an unsteady wooden mining structure that collapsed beneath your weight. You fell along with the rubble to the bottom of the pitch-black tunnel—your arm crushed by a wooden beam.

And you were lucky. If you hadn’t landed in a pile of corrupted muck, you could’ve died from the blunt force of the fall, but it was still killing you. Slowly. Painfully.

You were stuck, thousands of miles from the man you loved, dying, and he had no idea where you were—wondering if you’re safe. Worse, he could be out looking for you. You can picture his expression clear as day; Childe never shows terror, but when it’s you in danger, his mask falls faster than you did to the bottom of this mineshaft. You can see the fear in his wide, blue eyes. You can hear the desperation in his voice, bordering on a scream as he calls for you—his throat raspy from how long he’s been yelling for you. You can feel his heavy, labored footsteps shake the ground as he clamors around every inch of Liyue harbor in search for you. He would rather die than lose you, so his expression is that of a dying man as he searches desperately, despairingly for you. The image you know is playing out layers and layers of earth above you breaks your heart a million times over—this is your last regret. You left Childe in anger, and now he’ll never see you again.

Your vision finally faded as the corruption overtook you.

———

Childe is one to give the silent treatment, because he doesn't want to fly off the handle and say something he can't take back---so when you wake in your shared bed, your back pressed up against his chest as he holds you securely, you'll have to live through his hard gaze, his set, flexed jaw, and his silence.

“…Ajax?”

Nothing.

You try to shift but he holds you in place like a splint. And after you blink the sleep out of your eyes, you see why.

Your heavily bandaged arm is splayed out to the side of the bed; the bandages cover the various screws and other work put in by healers to preserve what they could of your arm. In your rest, Childe had been holding you still so you wouldn’t roll over and harm yourself further by moving it.

“…they don’t know if you’ll be able to use it again.”, he says, grimly. The first thing he’s said to you since you woke. He said it like it was a personal slight against him—like you broke something he loved with all of his heart. And you did. That’s exactly what you did.

“Childe…I’m so sorry.”, your voice cracks as you speak, tears quickly welling up in your eyes.

He’s silent again. His jaw looks like it might break from how hard he’s biting down on his words. You’ve never gotten the full brunt of the vitriol he’d spit if he didn’t strangle it down—but you’ve heard him give it to others.

He didn’t know you were just beyond the door of his office when he was chewing out his subordinates for a careless mistake that jeopardized an important shipment; you never knew how unforgiving and cruel you boyfriend could be before that day. The way his voice came out in a terrifying snarl, he sounded more animal than man—to the point that you couldn’t believe it was him, considered that maybe you had the wrong office, until you peeked in and saw. His wild eyes, his sharp, chaotic gesticulations, the way he threw the contents of his desk onto the ground in frustration—apathetic to if anything or any one broke. He’d always been so sweet and understanding with you, you’d never even seen him frown, but the way he spoke to those Fatui soldiers…it revealed something fundamental about him to you.

It took you a lot of time to make sense of it, a lot of thinking and insecurity and fear but you realized…the Childe you knew really was jubilant and kind, he was caring and attentive and generous…but he also really was the man you saw and heard in that office that day. The only difference was who he was talking to.

He was still your Childe. He always would be. But he was only yours. So the rest of the world got to see the ugly he hid from you. The ugly that would seep out of him—clouding his gaze in a menacing, red mist, that would turn his grip from gentle to an inescapable vice…that made him say things he didn’t mean.

So no matter what honest and loving words you utter to him, he is unresponsive, and will remain so until he's cooled down enough to organize his thoughts and deal with you.

But you don't want to wait. You don't want to go to bed with only a rigid "Goodnight." from him. After what you’d done today, you weren’t sure if he’d ever speak to you again—what if, once you healed, he’d leave? The thought horrified you. So you had to get him to speak. You had to.

Gently resting the fingertips of your working hand on the white knuckles of Childe's harshy closed fist securing your waist, you say—your voice shaky with tears but still sweet and considerate of him, "Sweetheart...would you open this for me? I'm worried you're going to hurt youself...".

From how hard he was squeezing, it was possible his nails were digging into his palm. He didn't relent at your touch, his gaze averted to the wall just past your head. That was your fault, of course, because no matter how upset you make him, you’re still the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes. His gorgeous little girlfriend, the one he works so hard to keep safe and happy, the girl he’d do absolutely anything for. If he were to look at you, look into your beautiful doe eyes, and see those eyes full of tears? He’d lose his resolve. He’s angry with you. You did something unforgivable today. So he just couldn’t look. From the pink dusting his cheeks, you could tell he was fighting not to ogle you. Since he doesn’t open up, you slide your hand over his fist to hold it—he doesn’t stop you.

“Childe…talk to me…please?”. You sound so helpless calling out to him like that. Every instinct in his body screams to run and protect you, to respond and give you anything you need. But the only response you get from him is how he tightens his grip around you ever so slightly. Like he’s assuring himself that you’re fine—you’re safe in his arms.

“Childe…please.” the sob that caught in your throat at that please finally broke him. Brought a crack down the middle of the dam of anger and panic he had reinforced and reinforced again while you were asleep.

His voice came out in a quiet, but dangerous rumble. You felt it in your chest before you heard it.

“I don’t see why you think it’s ok to needlessly put yourself in danger like this.”

If he would’ve said anything else, you wouldn’t have argued. You knew you were in the wrong for telling him you wouldn’t go and going anyway. You knew you were in the wrong for getting hurt in a place where he couldn’t find you. You knew you were in the wrong for how you handled the whole thing.

…but you weren’t in the wrong for doing your job.

“It’s not needless, it’s my job…”, you said, gentle as possible. You weren’t going to snap at him, but this was important to you. He had to understand, “…you do the same thing…”

“You’re my girl. You don’t need a job.”

“I can’t just sit alone in the house all day.”

“Then get a safer job. Start a flower shop. I’ll pay for it.”

“Adventuring is what I’m good at. It’s what I love.”

“You’re supposed to love me!”

And there it was. He raised his voice at you.

The way you flinched did not escape his gaze.

He was a monster and he knew it. He knew he didn't deserve you but he couldn't let you go. No matter how much he told himself he only exists to your detriment...he couldn't. let. go.

Like a dragon that stays atop it's hoard even as the walls of it's cave collapse around it. Like a raccoon fishing a coin out of a small hole---no matter how hard he tries to pry both of you out, knowing you're both stuck in his grip, he can't let go.

With that, he clamped down on his jaw again, drawing his arms back from around you and getting out of bed. He broke for the door but your helpless cry cemented his feet to the floorboards.

"Please, Ajax...please don't leave me."

You were used to how Childe would run from you in guilt--the monster, Grendel, fleeing from Herot to his cave, but this time, you just couldn't brave it. You needed him right now.

He just couldn't understand how you could bear to have him in your presence.

He felt ugly, embarrassed and ashamed, but the desperate tambre in your voice told him you wanted him. Even in his worst moments, you wanted him.

So he returned to your side, kneeling at the side of the bed like a devotee, his face just before yours and his rough hand reaching our to cup your cheek---so gentle, like he was convinced you'd shatter in his grasp. His lips were held in a firm line, but his eyes were wells of love and devotion for you.

Only for you.

"Ajax...I love you."

With his deep sigh, the pressure in the room was alleviated--fresh, new oxygen renewed into the space. The tension in his knuckles, his shoulders, and his jaw was finally released. With those three words, he had melted into the Ajax you knew, your Ajax.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

There was a moment where you two were just, you two. Where he stroked your cheek with his thumb and gazed into your beautiful eyes--his own held that special little sparkle that was typically lost in the void. The sparkle only you get to see.

With a hum, he let's go of you and stands.

"I'll get you some food."

And with your simple nod, he left. But this time, you knew he'd be back.

[snarkspawn]

light of kshahrewar ✨

[athousandbyeol]

st(r)ay.

he dreamed of warm hugs. tender caresses on the crown of his hair. tidying the messy curls of his bangs behind reddening ears. and he would giggle. he would blush. he would have tears in his eyes. all good things. everything wonderful.

he dreamed of a pair of piercing eyes. that gaze was never directed at someone else but him. and he would replay that scenario every night, each scene was an animation against the emptiness of the ceiling—before he could remember how lonely his nights were before he came. because he was alive when those eyes were on him—he felt so seen.

and that infamous cold smile. he saw it through the haze in his vision and the daze in his mind. and he couldn't remember anything else but that smirk, the smugness of it all.

the roughness of his palms against the softness of his own. they flutter like broken butterfly wings. but still so mesmerising. when their fingers intertwined, he saw a splash of colour, in all shades of black and blue and grey and him.

sheng wang dreamed of jiang tian.

he saw jiang tian in the recesses of his imagination. there were tears in his eyes. they fell. and fell. but jiang tian was still quiet—why was he so silent?

and sheng wang tried reaching out. but the distance between them grew the more he crossed the forbidden line. jiang tian was untouchable. elusive. like the nightmare he had as a child. like the memories of his father's fading warmth on his skin, the conversations between them, tiki-taka. and by then, sheng wang realised, everything was in vain.

so he opens his eyes.

he opens his eyes and sees a shadow of light against jiang tian's face. his features gradually soften as the moonshine dances elsewhere, promising the stars to tango. and its darkness again, in all of its glory, bestowing on the sleeping jiang tian. but in sheng wang's vision, he has always been the brightest. nothing could ever compare to jiang tian's blinding shine.

oh.

and sheng wang feels the overwhelming urge to hold him. to embrace him. to be with him. because he has always been curious—those little touches were lethal, and sheng wang's already addicted. there's so much more in jiang tian that sheng wang wishes to desire. can he?

the sense of security washes over him like a growing tide, making his lungs tighten, and sheng wang could never forget how jiang tian made him feel.

and he feels so much. too much.

he could never forget how jiang tian made him be.

jiang tian is now drenched in red.

sheng wang knows this is a warning, a sign—don't. they sound like white noise in his ears, these no's and don'ts and pleas. sheng wang couldn't care less. because temptation has always been so delicious, and sheng wang's always a bit reckless.

so he leans closer. just enough to count the long lashes brushing against jiang tian's cheekbones, lulling him to sleep. just enough to remember the zeal of jiang tian's presence, ever-so-grounding, like an old tree under the pouring rain. just enough to understand that he loves.

he loves jiang tian so. he hopes jiang tian won't go.

his heart, oh, his poor heart. sheng wang believes that jiang tian could hear it. the roar. the growl. but maybe sheng wang wants jiang tian to listen. listen to the voice calling his name ever since—ever since he knew what wanting is—ever since he understood what loving is.

it's cold. so sheng wang pulls the blanket further up, covering both of them, sheltering them from the potent glare of these red lights. and when he breathes jiang tian in, sheng wang surrenders. he shudders.

don't leave me.

sheng wang shatters.

[basketobread]

You’re genuinely so funny. You should seriously make some kind of comic

omg this is such a late response but i hope you know that i made this EXACT face when reading this. thank you SO much!!! i really would love to make a comic soon featuring my oc's or something... maybe i'll get around to planning one eventually. but comics aside, your words mean SOOO much. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

[lustfulbaronet]

james spader has the stare of a hamster that hasn't been fed for two days and he's begging you to give the last piece of celery inside your fridge

[robo-dino-puppy]

horizontober 2023 | 3: recognize

greetings, dr. sobeck. you are clear to proceed.

[14dayswithyou]

Good day😗

Is Ren a soft Yandere? He doesn't look like a regular Yandere I know, he just looks like a soft Yandere,

And one more question, how did the name [REDACTED] come about, does it have a hidden meaning? Sorry if I repeat the question

⌞♥⌝ Next time, I'd like to kindly ask that you read the pinned post and include the secret phrase. But because I get this question asked a lot, I'll answer it now.

I personally don't think Ren is a soft yandere by any means (barring when it comes to Angel), but I do think the reason why most people view him as such is because I barely receive any yandere-esque questions on Tumblr anymore, which has lead to this somewhat sanitised outlook on Ren ^^;

I typically receive very standard, mundane, and HR-appropriate asks (/pos, /nm) that don't encroach on that territory, so Ren's overall characterisation tends to end up being watered down into "generic, overly supportive boyfriend who's secretly obsessed with you". And while I genuinely have nothing against these family-friendly asks, they also don't really give me much room to talk about Ren in a more... morbid sense jhgjhsg

It's difficult for me to turn "How would Ren react to Angel owning a pet worm?", "Does Ren know how to make spaghetti?", "Can Ren play the saxophone?", etc, into something darker than it needs to be, but I also don't want to discourage folks from sending in these kinds of questions either. I know they're just curious and want to have their headcanons acknowledged, and again, I have nothing against these types of asks.

They're definitely fun to answer (/gen), but they just... don't give me much opportunity to take it a step further ;v;

Also! I'd like folks to be more aware of the fact that Ren is literally trying to come across like a normal person in the game, so I can't exactly showcase how far he's willing to take things without portraying him incorrectly or spoiling something. I know this is somewhat of a double-edged sword, but I've always been open to answering "what if" scenarios that take place in an AU/non-canon setting (such as how Ren would react if Angel wanted to partake in his Red Room activities).

Anyways!! Enough of that >:3 You also asked about how [REDACTED] came about, and it's literally just the placeholder text Ren uses during the library scene in day 1 to hide his real name from the player!

Folks started speculating that it was Ren's real identity slipping through, so they started referring to him as "[REDACTED]". It's also my way of differentiating between Ren and [REDACTED] without having to reveal his real name.

[secriden]

*SCREAMS* I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT!!!!!

[shattered-earth]

My TOTK Master Sword Pins came in! This is my first time trying double layered pins, the petals have some real DEPTH to them from the layers. It looks more like they are really fluttering away into the background. The two layers also gives the pin a very premium/sturdy/heavy feeling i didn't expect but in hindsight is obvious LOL

Comes with a custom backing card too, the pin itself is 3" long so perfect to hold and "swing" around lol

[queenofbaws]

hi hi 👋 icyqueen I love your jossam fics on ao3 and am simply blown away by how you bring the characters to life, especially the crepes. Your dialogue is always so entertaining. Like how do you write them so well.

anyway, I’m hope you’re still doing requests cause I was thinking about that lovely wonderful fic “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” that I yelled to you about on ao3 and how I really enjoyed reading josh flip his shit over sams safety. So in that same vein, I was wondering if you could write about the until dawn final scene/flipping the switch but in Josh’s perspective. And how he would react to Sam being the who has to stall, face handigo and risk her life saving everyone.

The high school rumor mill didn't have shit on whatever it was the hospital had going on. Everywhere he went, there was another murmur, a whisper only half-hidden behind an out-of-date magazine - "They said..." or "Well, I guess..." or "What I heard..." - a piece of a puzzle he hadn't even known he'd been putting together, and high holy shit, he had never wanted to know the ending of a story less.

But he'd grown up in a house where plots were discussed at the dinner table; where twists were dismissed as too predictable or not predictable enough. Just because he didn't want to know how this one went didn't stop the knowing from happening.

So he waited until she came to do her usual round (visiting Jess as her stitches healed, visiting Mike as he worked his way through PT, visiting him as all the king's horses and all the king's men tried to put his ass back together again). And then he asked.

"What's this I keep hearing about a light switch?"

Sam watched him for a second, maybe two, maybe a hundred and thirty-seven for all he knew, then blinked and shrugged as if he'd asked about the weather. "I don't know. What do you keep hearing about a light switch?"

And there it was: The Impasse. The one they'd been sidling along since he'd been dragged out of the mines, his eyes too sensitive to open in the sunlight. Most days they just sort of crept towards it, talking pleasantly enough without actually approaching the edge; today it seemed they'd decided to jump in headfirst, not bothering to check for handrails or safety nets before careening towards the dark, spiraling pit that was This Conversation.

Sam watched him. Sam blinked. Sam waited, and waited, and waited, and if her goal had been to show him how it felt, being appraised and goaded and puppeteered at his most vulnerable, well...he couldn't say it didn't work. A little, anyway. He had to figure it still wasn't quite the same - she'd had that nice, fluffy towel after all, and the only thing he had was a flimsy old hospital gown.

"Rumor has it," he started again, fighting to keep his tone blasé (or, at the very least, level), "you weren't exactly conforming to air safety rules the other night." When it didn't get a response, he sniffed and explained the joke, "Y'know. Help yourself before you help others. Attach your oxygen mask first."

She sat on the visitor chair and watched him. One ankle folded over the other, and as the hem of her pantleg rode up, he could see the bandages wrapped beneath. Still white. So there was that.

"You just, what, pulled a Scooby-Doo? Ran around, clapped your hands, hid under furniture, that kind of thing? Where'd that athlete's spirit go, huh? Where'd miss 'Oh-don't-worry-about-it-I'll-just-fucking-CLIMB-out-of-this-mineshaft-barehanded' go? Don't tell me I took it out of you down in the basement, because we both know you barely broke a sweat at that, so - " He realized his face was getting hot and stopped. His chest had gone tight too, but there were a million reasons that might've happened, so he didn't bother looking the most obvious in the face. Instead he swallowed hard and forced himself to mimic himself, pressing his mouth into a slash a passerby could've mistaken for a smirk. "What gives?"

Sam shrugged. She didn't seem interested in doing much else. Maybe she was worried there was still something wrong inside of him, something inhuman, something that would pounce if she stood or shook her head or tucked her hair behind her ear; maybe she just didn't care. "Someone had to be the last one out," she explained, and again, her tone suggested something about the weather.

"But why you?"

"It had to be someone."

"But why you?!" And fuck, maybe there was something still wrong inside of him, because suddenly his vision was blurred and his lungs ached like they'd been squeezed. His face prickled, his stomach twisted, and none of it was normal - none of it - none of it was right. The room was too small and too bright and too fucking sterile, leaving him nowhere to hide.

"You could've died!" he found himself saying (though he guessed he might've just imagined it, the ringing of his ears so high and shrill). "You could've fucking died, and for what? For who?! For them?! What if something had happened to you - what if you'd gotten hurt? What if - " I was alone, his traitorous mind finished for him when his voice shattered and broke, What if I'd woken up in this awful fucking place without my sisters AND without you? What if what if what if...

It wasn't until he dropped his head into his hands that he heard her leave her chair; it wasn't until he felt the shitty mattress pad dip beside him that the tears came. But by then her arms were around him and she'd somehow saved him too, her skin so warm against his she might as well have just stepped away from the fire.

The hospital rumor mill would have a field day with this one, he thought, but that would be fine. He didn't have the first clue how this story was going to end - only how he wanted it to. He'd take all the help he could get.