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henrysglock · 9 months ago

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High Existence and ZeroSpace: The First Shadow and NINA May Be Massive, Immersive Drug Trips

The blurb in last Friday's video from TFS sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I found a lot of sites quoting The Alchemist about the universe conspiring to give you what you truly want (which is similar and it's probably what I was thinking of when this blurb registered as familiar), but I couldn't find this exact quote:

Well...not at first, anyway. I decided to stick every word I could make out here ^ into my search bar...and I found where the blurb comes from:

This blog post is quite literally the only source I could find for it, and the whole damn thing is directly lifted.

Right off the bat, the site fucking jump-scared me:

And it doesn't end there. Let's dive in, because this rabbit hole is a trip unto itself...no MDMA required.

1. The Fucking Website...#1 (HighExistence.com)

High Existence is a sort of drug-induced-spiritual-trip centered self-help site.

It's got blog posts and podcasts and all that jazz. Here are some of the highlights:

Wow! That was...a lot. A lot of words from the word show, too:

Wholeness, heroes, ancient aliens, prisons of politeness, and the fucking Shire, too, I guess. Why not?

(An Aside: I've included the VR in here too because of the sheer similarities between Henry's experience with the Shadow in VR, El's experience in NINA, and The First Shadow in general.)

Like fuck it, why not keep going, these posts date back to at least 2017:

And don't let me start in on that Creel boy and Faust...

[Jason voice] "[Eddie] made a deal with the devil and now he has his powers!" (Also we get it, one of them is neurotic and the other is psychotic. I've been saying this since like...forever)

Of course, all that insanity aside, the Russian base arc has just...an insane amount of ST4 and TFS stuff packed into it in general:

(And this isn't even all of it. I know others [cough] Stav Heroesbyler [cough] have covered it even more...but bro it is THERE)

But most importantly for the NINA arc:

Three things: Dialogue doubling (there's the one I showed, plus a) Robin yelling "Wipeout!" at Steve which has the pipeline -> "Wipeout!" at Rink-O-Mania -> 002-005 bullying El in a very similar manner and b) Steve's "that's amazing" line about the water fountain -> "This is amazing!" not only from Alice irt the Creel house but also from Mike irt Will's painting on their way to save El from NINA. Again, these are just a few of MANY instances), makeup doubling with the bloodshot eyes, and my beloved: set/prop doubling.

I love that beautiful framing on the nearly-identical square clocks. I have so much to say about that clock, but specifically:

The clocks being set 9 minutes apart, which happens to be the exact length of time from the end of Vecna's voiceover in 4.07 to the start of the fight sequence in 4.07 (aka the length of One's frozen-clock monologue).

Not only that, but the clock isn't even right. It says it's 3:55, but it's definitely not 3:55 AM (see: movie theater scene) but it's also not 3:55 PM:

(And why do we have a clock in an elevator anyway? That's the real question. That thang only exists to deliver subtext, baby! It exists to connect the two scenes further!)

Anyway, as you all likely noticed, this site mostly deals in psychedelics, stimulants, and empathogens.

link

Hell, you could even pull One's bit on the ecosystem into it, since he's describing connections between beings that are being disturbed/destroyed by humanity.

Anyway, the site tends to center specifically on DMT and MDMA...so let's talk about those:

MDMA & DMT An aside: Interesting to me that psychosis here can be counteracted with sedatives. Makes me wonder if whatever happened in 1979 could have been halted if they'd just tranq'd One. Hm.

First off: Did I read that right? Piggy-backing? Damn, son. 4.09, The Piggyback, is pictured in that paragraph. So is Brenner's candy bit with the children -> "candy flipping" vs LSD use in Brenner's lab.

Second: Ah, how nice. Intravenous/injectable. Just like how El is constantly being shot up with...something...to enter NINA.

Now, nearly all psychedelics can induce psychosis, but especially so if they're combined with other psychoactive substances and/or if the user has a history of psychosis (either themselves or in their family).

However, MDMA specifically has been posited as a treatment for PTSD and retrograde/traumagenic amnesia:

link Like...wow. Okay, I guess!

tl;dr: One seems to have been tripping fucking balls during the monologue. Literally every fucking version of him. El likely is as well. Funny how that works. Was any of that real? [smash cut to the way blood pours down the walls and the dead children dance around in the VR version of NINA] And either way, Henry in TFS isn't far behind with his hallucinogenic moments.

The connection? Whatever the hell is going on in Hawkins Labs...and symptoms of drug use.

I was not expecting to get this much out of a single rabbit hole. But...that's life with this show, isn't it? And this is only Part 1.

2. The Fucking Website...#2 (Futurism.com)

The guy who made that original post that TFS lifted the blurb from (Jordan Lejuwaan) runs a couple different websites. The most interesting one is Futurism, which is basically an online version of the Weekly Watcher:

It won't let me filter by date, but it seems to have been founded in 2017, stemming from an infographic subreddit. (Now, it says it's a trustworthy news source, and maybe it is, but... Do your own assessment of that. I'm not your mother, yknow?)

Jordan Lejuwaan was also involved in something far more interesting irt Stranger Things...

3. Zero Space

Jordan co-founded an immersive, interactive theater experience called ZeroSpace back in 2018. As we all know, TFS was just in the beginning phase of its creation around this time.

So...This was like a brick to the skull:

"Alice in Wonderland" (don't get me started: rabbit fuckery, DRUGS!!!!!, clocks/being later, Alice Creel, Fringe connections (Through The Looking Glass and What Walter Found There being the episode about the pocket universe where 20 years passed in 5 days...and also wherein we find out about him hiding away an Observer child that he will later time travel with to save the world from the Observer takeover...erasing himself from time/the timeline by doing so...there is SO much) not to mention the "one pill makes you larger/smaller" vs teen El and baby El...it's too much to try and fit in this post), "ALIENS AND LASERS", "stretch the perceived reality of the sense", "art, actors and your own mind converge to prompt MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS" (which was a common complaint about TFS: it leaves people with more questions than answers).

("See you on the other side" being an in-show line from Henry in the lab to Patty in the void, but this image is ripped directly from the same promo video that the High Existence blurb appears in.)

Here's a little taste of what ZeroSpace is like, but I suggest going to the actual page to see it in action:

It's heavily heavily reminiscent of TFS, even just in the content warnings...

Not to mention the actual show content SFX:

However, the goal of TFS isn't to stretch our senses. We're just watching. We are not the volunteer seeing the other side.

For most of the show, that person is Henry (except the first 5 mins, when it's Cptn. Brenner and his crew literally experiencing the other side). Henry is doing the experiencing. He's the one breaking the fourth wall by picking at/breaking the sets, the one running through the audience and leaving out the theater doors (only to end up right back on stage just like El in the Rainbow Room in 4.05).

With each bit of info I find out adjacent to the play, the more convinced I am that this is some secret third boy's experience in a NINA-like simulation.

Overall—

a) TFS most likely isn't wholly real, and it seems very likely that it's the same kind of simulation as NINA.

b) El was probably drugged up with some kind of empathogenic psychedelic going into NINA, likely with the goal of setting her up to form emotional connections quickly and deeply only to rip that deep connection away in order to bolster her abilities.

c) NINA is not, then, wholly based in truth. Parts of NINA (staring at the bullying from 002-005) may have been generated from El's memories of the outside world.

d) With NINA and TFS seeming so similar, I wouldn't be shocked if parts of it are just one massive empathogen trip (staring at how quickly Henry and Patty bond, similarly to how quickly Henry and El bond in NINA).

e) Whoever is in NINA with teen El is also tripping balls, most likely, and may have gone off the rails in that regard. However, that's in a simulation...hard to assign guilt or blame for things done in a fictional/unreal world.

f) Whoever was with baby El in 1979 may have been in a similar situation "moving chess pieces"-style instead. Read: drugged in order to put him in a situation where he would bolster El's latent abilities...and it went wrong (see also: Walter Bishop's orchestrated/fake massacre meant to bolster Olivia's latent abilities.)

g) Richard Brenner having been the head of narcotics makes me question which Brenner we're seeing at any given time: Martin, or Richard?

#st nina project #st: tfs #henry creel #el hopper #non-consensual drug use #medical malpractice #ZeroSpace #High Existence

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felassan · 1 year ago

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Dragon Age: The Official Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas lore post Part 2

This post is part 2 of 2. [Link to Part 1]

(Post contents under a cut, in case anyone would rather not read cookbook spoilers. also due to post length)

If I have forgotten, misread or misunderstood something, please let me know.

This post is complementary to Part 1, so please see Part 1. The first post contains some other information, such as a full list of what culture[s]/area[s] each dish comes from, a full list of all in-world ingredients mentioned and notes on the worldstate that the cookbook was written in. The lore collected in this post is just a general note of lore mentioned in the cookbook, so it contains both old/previously known lore, and new lore from the cookbook. There is a bit of repetition in places where a piece of lore made sense in include in multiple categories.

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

[Devon/mom mentions from blurbs]

Devon, their mother and the cookbook

The cookbook introduces a new character called Devon, who is the narrator, writer and compiler of the cookbook in-world. Devon is now an adult, and their mother was the cook for the Couslands at Castle Cousland (implied to be Nan from the Human Noble origin). In their youth Devon helped their mother out in the kitchen, undertaking chores like sweeping the floor. They also helped cook from time to time (which their mother approved of and expressed pride to them over). They were child-like and a dreamer, often daydreaming about going off on a grand adventure and engaging in acts of heroism, and getting into trouble from their mother due to this. They did not used to be very adept in the kitchen and at one time almost set Castle Cousland on fire with their first attempt at a stew. Since then they have been practising cooking extensively and are now a good cook. Their mother taught them the important lesson of love through food. Devon is very much their mother's child, and loves food.

The position of Cousland family cook is implied to no longer exist. Devon's mother is implied to have now passed away. (and in game Nan dies during Howe's Treachery)

Devon's mother nearly lost her mind trying to keep the Hero of Ferelden's mabari out of her larder. Similar to this, falling 'prey' to a nug's cute face once resulted in a nug (which are voracious omnivores) in Devon's kitchen eating lots of their food, and Devon discovering first-hand how voracious they can be in their efforts.

Devon has a desire to see all of Thedas and as an adult recently embarked on a journey to travel throughout Thedas in order to see and experience its different types of food, in order to honor and thank their mother. This was a year-long journey involving many weeks on the road, with the occasional encounter with bandits and beasts. They travelled by carriage and on foot.

Devon travelled throughout Thedas, including Nevarra, Orzammar, Tevinter, Ferelden, Orlais, Antiva, Rivain and among the Avvar. They met and spoke to various key characters including Varric, Sera, Krem and Bull's Chargers, and sampled every local cuisine they could get their hands on, even the downright strange. They filled their book with different recipes and thought of their mother with each new entry, in order to share them and the lesson their mother taught them with the rest of the world. Some of their recipes are based on these conversations. Others are Devon's mothers recipes or Devon's own recipes/experimentations with other foods.

Devon is something of a fan of the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke and the Inquisitor (especially the HoF) and displays a child-like excitement for the world. On their journey they tracked down foods eaten by the heroes and their companions. Devon's hero worship of the PCs and their companions was part of their motivation for their journey.

Devon's mother often had her hands full with the Cousland's meals.

Devon's mother had a recipe for Chocolate Cake. She baked it for Devon's tenth name-day and then at their every name-day after that as Devon always begged for this. To this day when Devon thinks about their mother's love for them, this cake sits front and center in their mind. The Fereldan Potato and Leek Soup included in the book is also hers, though for the book Devon put their own little twist on it, using crispy toasted chickpeas from Rivain for the crunch rather than a side of toasted bread. Devon loves stews and their mother's stews will always rule their heart (the recipe for King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew comes close to stealing that crown). Devon's mother always knew that there is no greater comfort than a warm slice of cobbler, and the simple pleasure of her baking would wash away all of Devon's troubles from the day when they ate some in her kitchen (it's hard to feel the sting of a skinned knee or a lost game when your belly is full of warm gooey goodness). Devon's mother usually made her cobblers with strawberries and rhubarb, but only the stems not the leaves as those are poisonous.

Devon's mother was kind and indulged her child, whom she loved.

Devon likes hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and dusted with cinnamon.

Devon loves sweets and desserts.

Tea is a nice accompaniment for sweet treats. Tea exists in many blends. Devon likes deciding which biscuit to pair with different blends.

Once when young Devon tripped and fell face-first into a patch of nettles. They cried and got a lecture from their mother, telling them to play elsewhere from then on. Also when Devon was young, they were very reluctant to eat their greens/vegetables. But their mother always used to say that you can't only live off meat, and any meal without vegetables is a meal half-finished. They didn't understand her reasoning then, but they do now. Ever since hearing Leliana kept a nug as a pet, Devon has desperately longed for a Schmooples of their own. Another lesson their mother taught them is that sides form an equal part of the equation in a meal to the main part of it, and that they deserve just as much care and attention as the dish they are served alongside.

Ferelden

Fereldans - including their mabari - love cheese and bacon.

Barley is a common grain grown in Ferelden. In Ferelden grain is usually barley or wheat. Rice is very rare in Ferelden.

Hearty Fereldan Scones are hearty, packed with cheese and bacon, and keep a person sated for a good while. They are less sweet and less delicate than their counterparts (referring to Orlesian scones?). Mabari like them due to the cheese and bacon content.

Pickled Eggs taste salty-sour and are a very common Fereldan folk remedy, 'prescribed' by them for almost anything, including fevers, colds, aching body parts and when you feel a bit of illness coming on (sounds like chicken soup in parts of our world hh ^^). If asked for advice on health or when they meet someone who looks a bit under the weather, many Fereldans recommend and provide pickled eggs. When Cullen was experiencing lyrium withdrawals, Fereldan members of the Inquisition left a heap of pickled eggs in his office. whether this actually works or not we don't know. Still, loving pickled eggs is a Fereldan trait and they are considered one of the country's finest snacks.

In Orlais, City and Dalish elves eat Peasant Bread, which is a rustic, hearty type of bread with a straightforward recipe that calls for wheat, salt and grease in nearly equal parts. This produces a biscuit that is good for mopping up last bits of stew and pairing with butter and jam. Devon remarks that this biscuit is reminiscent of Fereldan cuisine.

Fereldans love stews; people, including Fereldans themselves, joke about this often. The three key aspects of any good Fereldan stew are that it's hearty, humble and straightforward to make.

Devon assures the reader that Fereldans don't actually cook their ingredients until they're all "a uniform grey color", contrary to what Alistair once said. They do however throw them into the largest pot they can find, with the rationale being that if you're going to make a stew, you might as well make a lot of it.

Lamb and Pea Stew is hearty, humble, and straightforward to make. This dish is so ubiquitous in Ferelden that it's almost become synonymous with Fereldan cuisine.

Sweet and Sour Cabbage Soup is a Fereldan staple and Fereldans enjoy it regularly. It's more solid than liquid, filled to the brim with cabbage, tomatoes and other vegetables, and is paired with a thick slice of bread. This makes it a filling, satisfying and warming meal, especially on cold days.

A troupe of actors in Orlais focus on a popular comedy set in the fictional Fereldan village of Wilkshire Downs. Their performances sell out almost instantly. In order to play their roles well, and out of dedication for their craft, the actors changed their diets to match those of their characters. For example, there's a mayor character who specifically only eats cabbage soup (bear in mind this is Orlesians trying to get in 'Fereldan character').

Nug Bacon and Egg Pie is a traditional Fereldan farmer's pie.

Fereldan ale is soothing and relatively easy on the stomach, compared to something like a Hissing Drake.

Fereldans love turnips and enthuse about them. Turnips make a good addition to any stews and are also good in pies. They're versatile and can be prepared in many ways (boiled, stir-fried, roasted, steamed, mashed, eaten raw, etc). Turnip and Mutton Pie is a classic Fereldan dish served at taverns across the country. It's an unmatched, rich comfort food that is good on cold or miserable days. Even the smell is comforting. It consists of tender chunks of lamb and turnip enveloped by buttery crust. Cole once evoked this sense of comfort by throwing a bushel of turnips into a fire.

Kirkwall

Crab Cakes is a classic Kirkwall dish.

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew is a famous dish from this Kirkwall tavern, and its feature dish. It's made from a different meat every morning, such as pork or something more suspicious/less appetizing. The waitress at the tavern claims that they hang people who ask what meat it is from the rafters.

Roasted Turkey With Sides is found in Starkhaven, Kirkwall and the Free Marches in general. This dish is common at birthday celebrations and dinner parties. The turkey is cooked til golden-brown and surrounded by a host of different sides, creating an impressive scene. This meal is complicated, difficult and time-consuming to prepare. The turkey alone can take hours to do. If a few sides are involved it can take most of the day, especially without kitchen staff. This meal is meant to be shared.

Orlais

A common feature of Orlesian cuisine is lots of cream.

Creamy soups seem to be emblematic of Orlesian cuisine.

Some strong/hot combinations of spices are a bit much for Orlesian palates, which are more delicate than others.

Lately in the Grey Wardens, a new variation of the Grey Warden Pastry Pockets (pastries stuffed with meat, potatoes and onion) recipe was introduced by new recruits from Orlais, which uses the more delicate Orlesian puff pastry. These newer pastries are delicious hot or cold but can't really be stored anywhere where they may be jostled as they will get mushed, unlike the original version of the recipe, which was tougher so as not to fall apart in packs when on the road.

Honey Carrots is an Orlesian staple, often found on the table at meal times in Orlais. The traditional Orlesian rendition of this dish is sweet due to liberal application of honey, implying that outside of Orlais other takes on this dish are less sweet with less honey due to differing palates/cuisine styles (since Orlesian standards run sweet).

"Blancmange" is an Orlesian word which literally translates as "white eating". The dish Blancmange is white pudding made with either milk or heavy cream that has been thickened. On its own it has a sweetness that is mild by Orlesian standards; it's generally served with various toppings which amplify the sweet flavors. Possible toppings include red grape compôte, toasted almonds, ribbons of fresh mango and cherry sauce (the latter is Devon's preference). Alone blancmange is plain-looking so the toppings are also a way to decorate it with various designs.

Vivienne's preferred arrangement of Blancmange is a stunning, elegant, pristine white-on-white tableau of white chocolate curls and whole jasmine flowers, served on a dark plate for contrast.

Orlesian dinner parties are long indulgent slews of extravagance. Not finishing all of the courses may be perceived as being rude to the host or taken by them as offensive.

Orlesian desserts often include sugar and cream.

Sour Cherries in Cream is an Orlesian dessert composed of a small bowl filled with black cherries dressed in sweet cherry sauce and whipped cream. This dish is an example of one which is lighter fare than usual for Orlesian cuisine, and may be eaten as the last course of an extensive dinner party (as even the Orlesians are sometimes in need of lighter fare).

The Orlesians know how to make a good pastry.

Croissants are the most well-known Orlesian pastry. They are a lot of work to make. To achieve their famous flaky texture, dough is layered with butter and then rolled (with a rolling pin) and folded several times over, before being rolled into a thin sheet.

In Orlais, City Elves and Dalish Elves eat Peasant Bread, a rustic, hearty type of bread with a straightforward recipe that calls for wheat, salt and grease in nearly equal parts. This produces a biscuit that is good for mopping up last bits of stew and pairing with butter and jam. Devon remarks that the biscuit is reminiscent of Fereldan cuisine.

Tevinter

A mysterious, strange, impossible-to-identify meat is often served in taverns across Tevinter, often with a big portion of Nevarran flat bread. It's something of a tall tale. Devon ordered a portion, wondering what exotic species it could be, and it turned out to be delicious chicken legs.

Stuffed Vine Leaves is a classic Tevinter appetizer sold in taverns there. Tender leaves are stuffed with rice, herbs and sometimes minced meat. Devon recommends topping it with lemon juice and some tzatziki sauce.

Dorian loves chocolate-coated orange peels, colloquially known as "Poison Stings". They are sweet, sour, crunchy, chewy and energizing. Dorian ate these a lot on his travels from Tevinter to Ferelden to join the Inquisition.

Cherry Cupcakes are decadent little pink cakes served alongside other sweets by servants on stilts at the Tevinter theater. The servants carry them to each private box. The cakes both taste and look good. They were once used as a vehicle for deadly poisons.

Tevinter Pumpkin Bread is one of Dorian's favorite foods. They are wonderful treats with limited ingredients, and can be made in a pan.

Starkhaven

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie is famous, almost oval in shape and stuffed full of fish from the Minanter River. It has a light flaky crust.

Starkhaven is beautiful, almost oval in shape, sits perched on the Minanter River and is crowned with solid rings of tall, gray stone. It has lavish estates and fountains. Minanter River fish are implied to be common in Starkhaven cuisine and trade.

Prince Sebastian Vael has high popularity.

Free Marches

Nevarra

The gardens of Nevarra are extremely beautiful, dazzling in their vibrancy.

In Nevarran culture, food is as much a feast for the eyes as for the mouth. They create artful and aesthetically pleasing food arrangements. Nevarrans like their dishes to be pleasing to the eye, and take this into account when cooking.

Nevarran flat bread goes from dough to ready to eat in minutes, contrasting other methods of making bread which involve baking loaves for hours. It can be eaten in many ways, including on its own, brushed with oil, or as a vehicle for an assortment of dips such as yogurt dip.

Antiva

Antivan cuisine includes pasta.

Dinnertime is usually a late-night affair in Antiva.

Rice is not seen much outside of Antiva and Rivain. Antiva exports very little of its rice. Due to this, in Antiva it's relatively cheap compared to other grains and is a key component in dishes favored by less well off Antivans. Crow Feed is a simple, cheap and delicious dish of rice, butter and onions, named after the Antivan Crows.

Fish Chowder is a classic Antivan dish. It's a thick creamy soup that evokes Antiva City.

Pickpockets seem to be common in Antiva/Antiva City, as Devon includes them alongside corrupt politicians and Antivan leather when referencing Zevran's homesickness for the place and creating an image in the mind's eye of Antiva.

Antivan meals "sure are something to behold". Antivan nobles have decadent, indulgent spreads for dinner involving lots of courses. Such dinners can have ten dishes, full of ingredients like olives, truffles, pasta and cream.

Gnocchi is a filling Antivan dish, with small pieces made of wheat, flour, egg salt and potato. It may be dressed with leeks and rich cheese sauce.

Being bordered by the Rialto Bay to the east, Antiva is mostly populated on the coast. Because of this seafood plays a starring role in Antivan cuisine. The classic Antivan paella exemplifies this, consisting of rice, saffron and a variety of seafood, from whole shrimp to cuttlefish to mussels. It's made in a single pot and the end result is aromatic. It's traditionally cooked in a shallow, wide pan called a paellera (or confusingly, in some parts of Antiva, a paella) but can be prepared in almost any deep skillet. It's best paired with a glass of wine, preferably an Antivan vintage. Josie recommends doing this. :)

Cacio e Pepe is a classic, simple Antivan dish among its rich and poor alike. It's composed of three main ingredients - pasta, cheese and pepper. Despite its simplicity it's hard to make correctly. The sauce has to be smooth, not clumpy, which is a surprisingly difficult task. However the skill of making it can be learned with practise and perseverance. Antivan grandmothers may sternly judge their young family members' attempts at making it correctly, only approving when it's just right.

Treviso is a port city in northern Antiva that was captured and liberated several times during the Qunari Wars and the New Exalted Marches. During the dark times of occupation, food was scarce, and the city residents had to make do with what limited ingredients they had. From their creativity in these times Treviso Energy Balls were born. These combine peanut butter, nuts and dried fruit into a bite-sized treat that contains lots of energy. They are ideal to take with you when hiking.

Antivan Apple Grenade is an Antivan dessert (sweet pastry bundles filled with piping-hot apple) named for resembling the fire grenades used by the Antivan Crows, both in shape and in heat.

Rivain

Rivaini cuisine includes couscous (a sort of pasta made with semolina flour and water, a lot smaller than typical Antivan pasta). Couscous sounds like it is not common or even known at all in the south. It has a mild slightly nutty flavor on its own and excels in soaking up surrounding flavors, making it a great base for salads.

Rice is not seen much outside of Antiva and Rivain.

Chickpeas come from Rivain.

In Rivain, a Goat Custard recipe is very popular as a dessert. The custard is made from goat's milk and studded with roasted figs to add sweetness to the overall richness. Milk from the Ayesleigh gulabi goat is particularly prized by custard connoisseurs in Thedas due to its natural sweetness, which when used in this recipe enhances the sweet flavors.

The classic Rivaini Tea Blend is probably the most famous tea blend in Thedas. It's a mixture of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano and licorice root. This combination is soothing and said to have healing properties. Celene of Orlais drinks this tea throughout the day to alleviate headaches.

Anderfels

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels doesn't actually taste of despair, contrary to what rumors and the importers say. The Anderfels are largely ill-suited for farming, but pigs do surprisingly well there despite the inhospitable climate. Due to this Anderfels ham is big and is delicious when glazed. Devon favors a glaze made from a combination of apples and apricots. One glaze in particular is made from wildflowers and can turn a smoked ham as hard as jade, rendering it unsuitable for eating.

Seheron

Seheron smells like tea, incense and the sea.

Seheron Fish Pockets are hot due to a combination of spices, but the heat is tempered somewhat by the soft wrap and crisp vegetables. (They are a group favorite food of Bull's Chargers). The fish involved is packed with flavor and the pockets fall apart if eaten haphazardly. Devon learned this recipe from one of Bull's Chargers.

Avvar

The Avvar are gatherers as well as hunters.

When Avvar can't hunt gurguts and wyverns, they go for smaller prey and forage for alternative food items such as snails, which are common on hillside boulders. Snails are an abundant and traditional source of food for the Avvar. When prepared correctly the texture and flavor are good. It sounds like the Avvar usually eat them without accompanying ingredients such as salad. They can be dressed in butter and oil. They aren't common in Lowlander cuisine and many Lowlanders are unconvinced on eating/trying them.

Many Avvar settlements populate the Frostbacks. In spring Avvar begin preparing for the following winter by smoking meat, picking vegetables and drying fruit. Springtime is the gurgut's mating season. At this time especially travelers are advised to keep their distance from gurguts, as they're dangerous.

Lowlander spices are prized among the Avvar and often reserved for feasts as rare delicacies.

The Avvar are generally utilitarian in their cooking methods, with lots of stews. Holds by lakes and rivers have a unique way of cooking fish. Instead of using a pan, the fish is wrapped in pungent leaves and salt then left baking all day over banked coals. Like stews, this method of cooking does not require constant attention. The salt helps keep moisture inside the fish, which turns the flesh creamy and tender. Cracking the salt open is good fun.

Avvar live on whatever they can glean from the land owing to living in the inhospitable Frostbacks. They hunt all kinds of beasts, including harts, rams, lurkers, gurguts and sometimes even wyverns. Wyvern can be delicious but if not prepared correctly are very poisonous. Correct preparation involves following detailed instructions.

Chasind

Chasind love poussin, a good alternative to roast turkey though significantly smaller in size. The Chasind typically cook it in a large pot over an open fire for an extended period of time. A similar effect can be achieved with any other cookware of suitable size and an oven. The secret to tender meat that falls off the bone is marinating and basting it to keep it moist during the cooking process. Devon recommends grilled poussin for more intimate dinner parties with smaller guest lists.

Chasind drink Chasind Wildwine and Chasind Sack Mead. Both are strong, even brutal. The flavor of the sack mead is almost poetic. First there is an overwhelming rush of honey, tinged with the sour-sweetness of apple blossoms, that fills the mouth with all the bright warmth of a summer's day. The initial sweetness then fades and there comes an unexpected bitterness, reminiscent of the slow decay into fall. The drink is therefore like the turning of the seasons in a single cup/sack.

Dalish Elves

Preserved foods play an important role in many different cultures across Thedas, including the Dalish. They help communities weather times of scarcity (e.g. in winter) and allow people to make long journeys away from home.

Dalish hunters take preserved foods such as Spiced Jerky with them on their hunts as provisions so that they can bring back game the clan is depending on. It means they won't be hungry and don't have to be back in time for dinner. Due to how long it lasts, Devon wonders if Spiced Jerky is used in offerings made by certain Dalish to Fen'Harel. His shrines are usually located well outside of Dalish camps, but Devon posits that leaving behind food that would readily spoil would be bad practise, especially given the fact that the prevailing opinion on these shrines is to avoid them.

Dalish make Hearth Cakes as comfort food. They are traditionally made over the hearth on an iron griddle or skillet, hence the name. The original recipe calls for halla butter but other types of butter work just as well. The resulting dough stays moist inside but crisp and flaky on the outside. Hearth Cakes can be made plain or with added dried fruit, such as cranberries, raisins and currants. The Dalish use whatever is on hand.

The Dalish make a warm, gooey, comforting dessert called Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler using whatever forest fruit is currently in season.

City Elves

In Orlais, City Elves and Dalish eat Peasant Bread, a rustic, hearty type of bread with a straightforward recipe that calls for wheat, salt and grease in nearly equal parts. This produces a biscuit that is good for mopping up last bits of stew and pairing with butter and jam. Devon remarks that the biscuit is reminiscent of Fereldan cuisine.

Lentil Soup is a popular recipe in City Elven alienages.

Orzammar / dwarves

Underground, dwarves raise spiders to eat just as surface folk raise cows and goats (this factoid appearing in the cookbook reinforces or perhaps, more accurately, properly canonizes this aspect of Orzammar/underground dwarven culture, as this was previously only featured in the DA TTRG). Spider legs are fried and served with a sauce containing alcohol. Spider legs are not unlike crab legs in taste. Sourcing spider legs above ground is not easy, and the demand from the surface for this kind of export from underground is minimal.

In dwarven culture sauces are often made with some type of alcohol. The precise kind depends on the establishment in question. The recipes for these sauces are closely-guarded secrets which chefs won’t specify. There are many varieties of these sauces. Orzammar has a fierce competition (to be crowned Orzammar’s Best Sauce) and so dwarves sometimes devise nefarious schemes and plots to acquire the secret sauce recipes. Lichen ale is generally not used in these sauces.

All mushrooms growing underground in caves and the Deep Roads are called "deep mushrooms" but there is no one variety of deep mushroom. There are in fact several. Some are squat, broad and flat-capped, while others are long and spindly, reaching towards the sky like an old man's gnarled fingers. They are used for many things, from making health potions to deadly poisons.

In Orzammar, deep mushrooms are farmed for eating. There they are a delicacy prized for their unique flavor and intoxicating scent. Some dwarves believe that a deep mushroom's proximity to lyrium and darkspawn improves its flavor. Devon, who is almost certainly human, suggests that non-dwarves and Surface dwarves who have lost their lyrium resistance should not eat deep mushrooms that have been in proximity to lyrium.

Dwarves roast cave beetles in their shells. Eaten in this way they are not unlike prawns, being similar in texture and flavor. This aspect of the lore book properly canonizes or reinforces another thing about dwarven underground culture that was previously only featured in the DA TTRPG.

Underground dwarves eat bread made from black lichen. Black lichen is toxic but high temperatures seem to largely neutralize this, making it safe to consume. Surface varieties of lichen can be substituted for the lichen used in making Black Lichen Bread. Any lichen used in making lichen bread needs to be thoroughly dried. Bark can also be used in place of lichen, although this would make the resulting bread more bark bread than lichen bread.

Nugs are edible and a key part of dwarven cuisine. The first dwarf to attempt eating one was called Varen. He did so out of desperation but became a paragon for his culinary discovery. The flavor is like a cross between pork and rabbit. Nugs are very tender, especially when roasted. There are lots of nug-based dishes including Nug Pancakes and nug-gets. For nug pancakes, other meats can be substituted.

Orzammar offers little in the way of choice when it comes to locally-produced foods. However, trade with the surface has ensured that foods from above ground are very popular underground. Jam, especially plum jam, is in especially high demand. It's very expensive there and only the most wealthy and influential Orzammar residents can afford it due to this. Recently Devon encountered a local jam maker in Orzammar who, rather than purchase jams as-is from merchants has opted to import only the individual components, in the hope that by making them themselves, they can sell the product at a much more reasonable price.

Food is easily defined underground; as long as it's edible and capable of being scavenged, it gets eaten. A surface dweller's understanding of "edible" may not align exactly with that of an Orzammar dwarf.

Lichen Ale is the drink of choice among Dust Town dwarves. It is literally toxic. In sufficient quantities it can overpower even the heartiest of dwarven constitutions. Consequently non-dwarves must approach it with caution. Most can tolerate a few sips without issues. Devon devised their own rendition of Lichen Ale using the dwarven recipe as a base, so that non-dwarves can enjoy the look and most of the flavors of the original without fear of poisoning themselves.

Grey Wardens

Grey Wardens undertake exhausting work in poor climates on patrol on the road. As such they need food items more nourishing than handfuls of nuts. On the road they often eat Grey Warden Pastry Pockets, pastries stuffed with meat, potatoes and onion. The original recipe produced a tough pastry to stop it falling apart in their packs. Lately a new variation of the recipe was introduced by new recruits from Orlais, which uses the more delicate Orlesian puff pastry. These newer pastries are delicious hot or cold but can't really be stored anywhere where they may be jostled as they will get mushed, unlike the original version of the recipe, which was tougher so as not to fall apart in packs when on the road.

Characters

When Cullen was experiencing lyrium withdrawals Fereldan members of the Inquisition left a heap of Pickled Eggs in his office, as these are a common Fereldan folk cure for many ailments.

Solas' bald head was at one point compared to an egg by another character.

Seheron Fish Pockets are a group favorite food of Bull's Chargers.

Krem tells an amazing story of a time when he, Bull and five other Chargers defended a village from fifty bandits. When the bandits were defeated and the Chargers went to collect their payment, the villagers paid them with several bags of rice rather than in gold. The Chargers used it to make dishes such as Rice Pudding.

Prince Sebastian Vael has high popularity.

There are rumors of a kind and appearing hero (Diplomatic Hawke).

Cole once evoked the sense of comfort from turnips/Turnip and Mutton Pie felt by Fereldans by throwing a bushel of turnips into a fire, via the smell.

Sera's Yummy Corn recipe is simple, yet strict, with no wraps and no non-yellow corn allowed. The corn should be checked for rot, peeled halfway, washed, cooked, peeled again and eaten. Devon holds that other varieties of corn would work fine too, but when they suggested this to Sera she was so disgusted that they couldn't bring themselves to try it. Devon assures the reader that merchant-bought corn is fine however.

Vivienne's preferred arrangement of Blancmange is a stunning, elegant, pristine white-on-white tableu of white chocolate curls and whole jasmine flowers, served on a dark plate for contrast.

Vivienne starts off her day with a croissant.

Tevinter Pumpkin Bread is one of Dorian's favorite foods. They are wonderful treats with limited ingredients, and can be made in a pan.

The Hero of Ferelden's mabari is very good at finding items. One time he even found a cake of a chocolate cream variety, topped with white frosting and fresh strawberries. Devon's mother nearly lost her mind trying to keep the Hero of Ferelden's mabari out of her larder.

Sugar Cake is a simple, humble cake topped with a sweet mixture of butter, sugar and almonds. Devon purchased one from a surface dwarf merchant who assured them that it would be well-received by any companion. The merchant told Devon that even the Hero of Fereldan purchased a few of these cakes as companion gifts.

Varric can disarm with humor, charm or through his spy network. Peoples' exasperation at his nicknames amuses him. He has a soft spot for the softer heroes, like Merrill, Bethany and Cole.

Cinnamon Rolls are one of Varric's favorite sweets. They are warm, sweet and comforting, perfect for time spent reminiscing.

Varric loves pastries, to the point that he's liable to steal them off windowsills if they have been left there to cool unattended.

Devon had an extensive consultation with Varric in order to put together the recipe for Varric's Favorite Pastries.

Varric loves sweets.

Isabela once played a drinking game where participants drank based on the number of enemies they had. This game killed a man.

Lampreys are one of Thedas' more unique-looking creatures. They have long slender bodies and toothed, suction-cup mouths. They are rare in Thedosian cuisine as they have noxious flavors. Lord Norbert de la Haine, who wanted to conquer the Free Marches, had a peculiar, singular fondness for pickled lampreys.

Iron Bull loves sweets. Hot chocolate is a particular favorite of his, to the point that it's practically a necessity for him. He swears by cocoa powder which is sometimes difficult to find (in the south). He takes his with hot milk and some Orlesian guimauves.

Other / unspecified / general

Preserved foods play an important role in many different cultures across Thedas. They help communities weather times of scarcity (e.g. in winter) and allow people to make long journeys away from home.

Lentil and onions are Thedosian stapes found in every pantry across Thedas. They're relatively inexpensive, keep well for long periods and go with almost anything. They play a supporting role in many dishes.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding is a unique combination of mackerel, onion, celery and eggs that is strongly associated as a dish with Feast Day, when it is often eaten (as "Feast Day Fish"). There are stories that several decades ago, someone once attempted a diet consisting entirely of this dish.

There is a type of 'blood' soup which is vibrant red due to beetroot. It has a rich, earthy flavor and is topped with roasted chickpeas. This dish could either be one Merrill makes (since "Sera's Yummy Corn" is Sera's recipe, and this is "Merrill's Blood Soup"), or else it's named after her.

Roasted turkey is a dish that is sometimes cooked when having guests over for a dinner party.

Allowing nugs near kitchen pantries and stores is a recipe for disaster. They are voracious omnivores.

Sera's Yummy Corn recipe is simple, yet strict, with no wraps and no non-yellow corn. The corn should be checked for rot, peeled halfway, washed, cooked, peeled again and eaten. Devon holds that other varieties of corn would work fine too, but when they suggested this to Sera she was so disgusted that they couldn't bring themselves to try it. Devon assures the reader that merchant-bought corn is fine however.

Fruit cobbler is also a dessert known/made in other groups in Thedas, not just the Dalish, as Devon's mother baked it for them when they were young. Devon's mother usually made her cobblers with strawberries and rhubarb stems (not leaves, as those are poisonous).

There is a big variety of custards across Thedas.

Cinnamon Rolls are warm, sweet and comforting, perfect for time spent reminiscing.

Sugar Cake is a simple, humble cake topped with a sweet mixture of butter, sugar and almonds. Devon purchased one from a surface dwarf merchant who assured them that it would be well received by any companion. The merchant told Devon that even the Hero of Fereldan purchased a few of these cakes as companion gifts.

The Gilded Horn is a tavern which sells drinks like Hissing Drakes. Hissing Drakes have fiery effects on the stomach such that no sober individual would dare to down more than a single glass at a time. Drinking several in quick succession is quite a feat and formed the basis of a drinking game among some drunk young men that Devon witnessed. The men managed two or three servings before vomiting over the balcony.

There are many ways to dress up a cup of hot chocolate.

Antivan Sip-Sip packs a punch. People who are capable of downing an entire glass are made of quite stern stuff. Devon speculates that it's called a "sip-sip" because each sip of it must be chased by a sip of something else. When Devon tried it, they could scarcely manage more than a small sip at once, even though they also had a big glass of water at the time.

Dragon Piss burns like a dragon's breath both in the glass and going down.

Tea is a nice accompaniment for sweet treats. Tea exists in many blends. Devon likes deciding which biscuit to pair with different blends.

Snails aren't common in Lowlander cuisine and many Lowlanders are unconvinced on eating/trying them.

Nevarran flat bread goes from dough to ready to eat in minutes, contrasting other methods of making bread which involve baking loaves for hours.

Travel by carriage is mentioned.

Despite the name the drink The Golden Nug is pink. Inspiration for the drink was drawn from typical living nugs rather than the golden statues. The drink is made of a base of white Seleney wine sweetened with a splash of West Hill Brandy. This dilutes the color of the pomegranate juice and mulled raspberries into a soft, pinkish hue. The goal is to imitate the color of a typical nug.

Chantry sisters make some marvelous creations, including a spirit used in the making of The Emerald Valley drink which is distilled from over seventy different herbs and flowers. This spirit has a complex, varied flavor bursting with the freshness of a green valley.

Nettles are nutritious and delicious.

Source of the above information: Dragon Age: The Official Cookbook - Tastes of Thedas

If you’re not able to get the book, and there’s a recipe or two in the Contents that you’d like to see/read, let me know and I’ll show you. (❁´◡`❁)

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

#dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #ref stuff #alcohol cw #solas #cole #spirit boy #blood cw #alistair theirin #fav warden

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reidsaurora · 2 years ago

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"Night Mama" ~ E. Prentiss

Summary: Just a cute lil blurb about Emily and her partner as new parents 🫶🏻

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x GN!Reader

Word Count: 623

Content Warning: very mild swearing, mentions of breastfeeding but nothing in detail, mentions of pregnancy, lmk if I missed anything!!

Genre: domestic fluff, what else would you expect from me

Extra Notes: this is one of the cutest things i've ever written and you can fight me if you say otherwise 😤 /j

Based On the Request: "How long has it been since you slept?" (requested by @lcvingprentjss)

Originally Written: 01/29/2023

Beta Read By: @lukeclvez

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

ofwilliamandwalter's 1K cocktail party

🍸 Spencer's Sauvignon Blanc - send me a character + prompt and i'll write you a small blurb!

It wasn't until I rolled over and felt that the other side of the bed was empty that I realized Emily wasn't there.

My heart raced with panic. What if one of the killers she's arrested has come back for revenge? I thought. Quickly, I decided I couldn't take any chances and reached over on the nightstand for my phone.

It wasn't until I had dialed up 9-1-1 that I heard soft coos coming from the baby monitor. Thank goodness I didn't press the call button. I let out a deep sigh of relief before forcing myself up from the bed and trodding off to the nursery.

A tired Emily blinked at me, her voice coated with a sleep-deprived drawl as she asked, "What are you doing awake?"

"I rolled over and you weren't there," I answered, reaching up to wipe the sleep from my eyes. "How long has it been since you slept?" I asked, noticing the purple underneath her eyes and her near inability to keep them open.

"Nearly five hours since I got a nap in but since I got a full night's sleep? Um, about three weeks. The last couple weeks of my pregnancy kicked my ass."

"Babe, three weeks?" I questioned before walking over to her, holding my arms out for the baby.

"No, it's fine, really. I have to get up and nurse her every two hours like clockwork, just like Dr. Beckett, and Dr. Reid, said. Besides, she just finished eating. All that's left is burping her."

"Then you give Lilly to me and get yourself to bed."

"But-"

"No buts, Emily. You are working so hard. I am so proud of you. I mean, your body just carried and made an entire human for ten months, you're healing from all the postpartum stuff, you've been trying to get back to work already. Thank God that JJ put an end to that idea."

I took a deep breath, sitting down on the ottoman across from her. "All those things are amazing, Em. But it doesn't make you any less of a mom if you ask for help sometimes. So please, let me take Lilly and you get to bed."

She let out a soft groan, but stood before placing Lillian in my arms and shuffling toward the door. "Please come get me if anything goes wrong."

I looked up at her with a raised brow. "Em, I love you, otherwise I wouldn't have married you, but respectfully, I will not be doing that."

She let out a soft huff but turned and headed down the hallway. I could've sworn I heard her snoring before she ever even passed the doorway.

"Come on, Miss Lillian. You think you can give me a big ol' burp, sweet girl?" I cooed, patting the baby on the back.

She was nearly a replica of Emily. She had her brown eyes, the same jet black hair Emily had before she stopped dyeing it, that same freckle on her shoulder that Emily never knew about until I told her. Lillian was just like her mother, beautiful and perfect in every way.

After about five minutes, Lillian finally burped, and just like her mother, she nearly fell asleep as soon as she was finished.

Upon reaching our bedroom, I spotted Emily, who had successfully made it back to bed, quiet puffs escaping her parted lips. I giggled at the sight before placing Lilly back into her bassinet on Emily's side of the bed, leaning down to give her a kiss on her nearly bald head.

I crawled into bed beside the sleeping lump of Emily, leaving a kiss on the exposed freckle of her shoulder. "G'night, Mama," I barely got out. "Sweet dreams."

I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT, I LITERALLY CANNOT

I hope I wrote this as gender neutrally as possible. I actually imagined Emily having a sp*rm donor while writing this for some reason because I just love the idea of Emily going through lists upon lists and hating every sp*rm donor because she thinks they're all ugly (because she's a lesbian and hates men) so maybe I'll make a second part about that because I just absolutely love the idea of lesbian!Emily still wanting to be a mom and still wanting to do all the work 🥹

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corpocyborg · 1 year ago

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Find The Word - Manuscript Search Tag

Thanks for the tag, @merge-conflict! To be honest, I could do this tag game about a thousand times and never get tired of it. 😅

Word #1: Chrome

She was growing very fond of her new body. It had clearly been designed to resemble her old one, although the signs of its fully mechanical nature were not exactly subtle. Wires and chrome were exposed in several places, and she had the impression that the body was meant to be customizable. Maybe limbs could be swapped out, upgraded?

But for the most part, she looked like herself, with the notable absence of the devilish billy goat tattoo branded with the Arasaka logo - the one she’d received courtesy of her former brain parasite. In its stead was the Arasaka logo itself, conspicuous in black against her pale artificial flesh. Whoever’d given her that had a sense of humor.

Word #2: Whisper

No matches. Apparently, I tend to use “spoke/said softly” more often for whatever reason? But, hey, same difference, right?

“It shouldn’t matter how I spoke to Fingers,” V said softly. “I said what I needed to get what I wanted."

Judy still wouldn’t look at her, keeping her gaze stubbornly locked towards the base of the staircase. But V could tell her anger was starting to cool off, and she weighed her actions carefully to avoid rekindling it. She’d stay silent until Judy was ready to talk to her.

Finally, Judy spoke up. “Ends justify the means, huh?”

“Don’t they?" V asked. "If my refusal to antagonize the person who might be able to tell us where Evelyn is leads us to finding her in time to save her life, would you consider that worth it?"

Word #3: Burn

She switched over to the next mode, and the shock of it nearly overburnt her processor. She could sense not only every room on the floor, but every floor in Arasaka Tower - from Izanagi at the bottom to the Night City duplicate of Saburo Arasaka’s office at the top. For a while, she watched the Arasaka employees moving and working throughout the building. In this view, they reminded her of gears in a machine or neurons in a brain. She could recognize a synchronized pattern in their motions, see the order in the chaos.

Word #4: Sky

I shared this blurb already, but it's the only match I have.

“To make the right decisions with imperfect knowledge,” Takemura said, “that is how you become the world’s most powerful man. One hundred candidates standing at attention, and Arasaka-sama looked into each of our souls and chose the one who would serve him best.”

V was gazing away from him, towards the city. The setting sun had transformed the sky into a golden backdrop for Arasaka Industrial Park. Her hands were gripped around the fence that separated her from the sight. A little too hard, maybe. She’d dented the metal in that thoughtless way that only one with arm cyberware can.

“So you did what you had to.” she said.

“I sense that you judge me.” His voice was quiet, with a barely perceptible edge of harshness. “And yet you have no right to. Unlike you and your friend Mr. Welles, I was not arrogant. I did not take the easy path.”

V’s eyes snapped back to Takemura in surprise. “Wasn’t judging you.”

“Untrue.” Takemura insisted. “You oppose the corporations, their order, their world, in a mindless way, yet you offer no worthy alternative.”

V sat in silence. How the fuck’d he gotten that idea? Must be mixing her up with Johnny. But then, she thought, haven’t exactly been acting like myself lately. Even before the Relic.

“You’ve got it all wrong,” she finally said. She shook her head. “I know you think I’m just some common thief, but my values now are the same as when I worked for Arasaka. I believe in doing my job well.”

“There are no clean hands.” Takemura said cryptically. “But it is important how they become dirty.”

V scoffed. “Wish everyone at Arasaka felt that way.”

“As do I.”

Tagging: @another-corpo-rat, @just-a-cybercroissant, @bnbc. No pressure of course!

Words: recognize, eyes, step, error

#tag games #wip #cyberpunk 2077 fanfic #wake up to find you've been branded with the devil's mark and just be like... hmm... rad #😂

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wolfreader · 20 days ago

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november 2024 wrap-up - adult fiction

this month i read three (3) adult novels and one (1) adult novella.

the frugal wizard's handbook for surviving medieval engalnd by brandon sanderson 📖 🌟🌟🌟🌟

brandon sanderson has got to stop writing protagonists who are sad pathetic little losers with no friends. i end up relating to them way too heavily and i'm starting to feel personally called out.

i think this is a contender for "best first brandon sanderson book", because it's not connected to the cosmere but it still carries all of the hallmarks of sanderson's writing and worldbuilding style. especially his penchant for blending scifi and fantasy - that's something that will show up in most of his works, so if you want to get into sanderson this might be a great place to start to see if you vibe with it.

mistress of lies by k. m. enright 📖 🌟🌟🌟🌟

i don't know what i expected from this book. i first heard about it from the cait corrain scandal, and put it on my "24 books to read in 2024" list because the description interested me. then as it got close to release i started seeing it described as a romantasy (rather than a fantasy), which is a genre i really don't enjoy, and seeing it compared to books i hate or blurbed by authors i dislike. so that kind of put me off. but it was on my list and it was on sale at my b&n, so i picked it up.

and i quite liked it!! i think it was maybe a little too long - it started to drag a bit at the end - but i found all three main characters really compelling. usually with multi-pov book i end up liking one character way, way more, and while i definitely still have a favorite the gap between them and the second favorite isn't nearly as wide as it normally is for me. really excited to see where this series goes.

i will say, the back of the book says that this is a book about vampires. the goodreads page lists it as a book about vampires. my initial interest was because it was advertized as a book about vampires. there are no vampires in this book. i don't even think they use the term "vampire" once. so don't pick this up if you're wanting a vampire book, regardless of what the marketing says.

the last of dragon the east by katrina kwan 📚 🌟🌟🌟

i have never read a book that felt more like fanfiction in my life. even books that i know were literally once fanfiction, or books that draw obvious heavy inspiration from things i have watched / read, have felt less like fanfiction.

unlike those books, it's not that it feels like it can be tied to a specific other piece of media. like, i couldn't tell you for certain what this is fanfiction of (though i have a guess, based off the author's previous work and the other authors that appear to be in her circle), but it reads like fanfiction even more than those other books.

the short pagecount, the length of the chapters, the oddly juvenile writing style and light tone that clash with the scale of the story, the odd pacing that swaps between breakneck in some areas but painfully slow in others, the soulmates, the insta love, the circular plot, the flat villain. this reads like dozens of completed multi-chapter fics i read on ao3 when i was 15. if you had put this in a shitty self-published-esque cover, handed it to me, and told me it was printed and bound fanfiction of show or book series i'd never heard of, i'd believe you.

a fine read i guess, but completely forgettable.

the way home: two novellas from the world of the last unicorn by peter s. beagle 📚 🌟🌟🌟

another item knocked off of my "24 books to read in 2024" list!

less vague than the last unicorn was, to be sure. it's more clear exactly what's happening (at least in the first novella). there was a weird and, in my opinion, tasteless sexual assault plot point that added nothing adn didn't seem to have any reason for being there... but other than that it was fine.

#november 2024 #bookblr #reading wrap up #adult fiction

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jodilinbio · 26 days ago

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2017

January 2017

Jan 1 Mary dumped me after informing me that someone informed her that I was supposedly talking about her unfairly in my blog. By this time I wasn't surprised, but it still angered me that I was used for so many years just to be dumped in the end.

Jan 20 For $175 our hot water tank is fixed. The thermocouple went out and the Sears guy replaced it.

Jan 26 Won an issue of a rat magazine based in Canada on Facebook.

February 2017

Feb 1 Had a case of food poisoning and puked for the first time in nearly 20 years.

Feb 17 Really like a website I found that generates random names for story characters.

My story Locked-In is done at just under 18,000 words!

March 2017

Mar 17 Hoping to adapt to sleeping to Sense's sound machine, though I may have to use the louder one when sleeping during the daytime.

Mar 31 Slept with Pink Noise an Amazon Prime relaxation track I set to repeat. Hoping all I'll need for sleep is Alexa. Trying to do more on fewer devices.

April 2017

Apr 2 Rosemarie's Revenge is my CampNaNoWriMo project, but I'm also working on Kinky Kathleen and Someone Else's Lady.

May 2017

May 17 In just a little over two months, I have finished The People Project where I give a brief blurb on everyone I can remember knowing/meeting.

May 25 Starting Clonidine soon for help with ADD/sleep and yes, anxiety too, should it rear its ugly head once again.

Jun 3 Definitely done with the Clonidine. It knocked me out but caused me to sleep shitty as hell. No more meds other than the two I take!

Jun 20 TSH is 16. Ugh! That’s due to the skips but it was necessary to curb my anxiety.

Jun 21 I don't know if I'm looking at a whole new problem or not, but both my red and white blood cell counts are high. Seeing the doctor later.

Jun 29 Still struggling with hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause. Took my first dose of Amberen. So far so good, though it might have made me drowsy.

July 2017

Jul 11 Maliheh's email account was hacked by someone pushing weight loss products. Surprised she still has me in her contacts after all this time.

Jul 16 Love that I found a way to block a few people that have blocked me on Facebook! Now if they ever unblock me they still won't see my account.

Jul 18 Met Mary who lives in the back corner of the circle. She stopped to ask me what was going on with all the street digging. Joy said they're in the final phase of redoing their irrigation system after four years and it's going to go on another week and a half.

Jul 20 Sent a message to Scot B on Facebook.

August 2017

Aug 1 Scot blocked me. Why, I do not know.

Aug 3 Discovered Grammarly! It may not be perfect but I love watching my stories and journals get more and more correct as I go through them.

September 2017

Sep 7 TSH is 15! This proves that perimenopause really is the root cause of my anxiety, even though the medication can still fuel it.

Sep 20 Getting a mouthguard and two partial crowns for $600 total. Was great seeing the dental team despite the costs, especially Kathleen.

October 2017

Oct 17 Accidentally pulled a crown out while flossing. Took the dentist just 5 minutes to re-crown me.

Oct 19 TSH is 6.75!

Oct 27 My very first "real" journal entry is 30 years old today!

November 2017

Nov 3 Reconnected with Kim but not Aly. Having fun catching up via DM on Twitter.

Nov 17 Making one last-ditch effort to try to combat the problem with traffic waking me up with a $25 pillow sound machine. Fingers crossed!

Nov 19 Getting new windows for the bedroom as I've had it with this shit. Ruining my peace is one thing, stealing my sleep is another.

Nov 27 Stepping into Psycho is now finished with just under 24K words!

December 2017

Dec 2 So SO fucking pissed and so fucking tired of dealing with the same old health issues year after year. My white blood cell count is slightly elevated, my cholesterol is bad, and my TSH jumped from 6 to 11. WTF? How???

Dec 4 Back from my PCP appt. She wants me to see a hematologist. :(

Aly made my day by tweeting me a birthday wish, though not directly. While I found it a bit odd that she didn’t tweet directly to me, I really appreciate the birthday wish!

Dec 8 Thrilled to hear from Aly!

So glad I never met with Marie in 2010 as I've come to realize just how fucked-up she is. She didn't do anything to me but I had an interesting chat with her ex. I'll always care about her but she is really screwed up probably beyond help.

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unrepentantcheeseaddict · 1 year ago

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My WIPs Listed By How Done They Are (+ A Synopsis!)

I thought I'd give you sort of an overgrown blurb for each story, as well as what stage it's in. Hopefully I can get these all finished and published, lol. 😆

Let me know which one is your favorite based on the blurb, or just AMA!

A Shard Of Memory (Newly Finished!!)

A little girl lost her home and childhood to an army of dark mages with the power to erase memories. That power works on nearly everyone but her. She’s all grown up now, and she’s ready to take them down to protect what she has left.

Twenty-year-old Shaellyn spends her time running the Land’s End tavern, visiting with friends, and keeping her younger brother Emrys out of trouble. Then everything changes when Shaellyn and Emrys’s old friend Twister arrives with news of an impending invasion.

These same invaders, the Qaret Mysterium, drove Shaellyn and Emrys out of their original home country as children, separating them from their parents. They barely survived long enough to make it to Raqut, the city where they’ve lived for the past ten years. Now Raqut is in danger too. But this time, Shaellyn is tired of running.

She and her friends hatch a plan to save their city, and after it goes wrong, they realize they might just end up making history along the way.

Storm Crosser (Draft 1)

A young monk named Aleii must pass through the Storm Wall forming the edge of the known world to find her long-lost parents and the source of her strange magic. The Wall has been there for thousands of years, supposedly to protect the people inside from the dangerous shadows that would otherwise invade. But when Aleii gets a glimpse of the outside world, she realizes that isn't the case: the people outside also view the Storm Wall as protection, a prison for the horrors inside it.

Outside the Storm Wall, the world is bigger, more dangerous, and way more confusing than she could have imagined. As Aleii digs further into her past, she discovers that she might be not just a mage, but a demigod. More importantly, she's the only one who can bring down the Storm Wall and reunite the two worlds without repeating the devastating war that split them in the first place. You know, no pressure, right?

The Changeling Trilogy (Draft 1)

Sixteen-year-old River Collins is pretty sure she’s average: No special talents, no siblings, two dads who love her to pieces but don’t always understand her, and a fairly ridiculous number of cats. She’s wrong, and not just because of the cats.

One day, she and her Dads are captured and separated by strange warriors riding giant moles, which is her first introduction to the Fae Kingdoms: the worldwide cave system where all faeries and magical beasts now live after literally going underground during the Middle Ages. While imprisoned there, River learns the truth: she's a changeling, an artificially created faery baby swapped out for a human one shortly after birth so the faeries could raise the human one as a pet.

All changelings who haven't been sent to the human world to replace human children live in the Fae Kingdoms as slaves. But now, a rebellion is brewing. River escapes, and makes allies in her quest to find and rescue her Dads.

Even as she comes into her own as a rebel leader, the challenges she faces in freeing her people become harder and more dangerous than she could ever have imagined. To win the war she started, she's going to need every bit of strength she can muster and any alliances she can make, no matter how dangerous they might be.

God-Touched (Draft 1/Outlining)

The irreverent take on Christian mythology and heart-wrenching sibling devotion of Supernatural meets the gloriously queer chaos of She-Ra and Nimona in a setting something akin to Star Wars.

I can't explain it any better than that.

The Charter of Souls (Outlining)

When Hannah and her siblings snuck out one night to experiment with their magic, they weren’t expecting to end up on an epically dangerous roadtrip with an artificial dwarf and a snarky haunted skull. They REALLY weren’t expecting to meet their long-lost fourth sibling, who’s on the opposite side of a brewing magical war. They’re the only ones who can get her back, save the world, and hopefully not die in the process.

This is my main Middle-Grade project. Think if Percy Jackson had been written based on esoteric Golden Dawn lore instead of greek mythology. The protagonists are goofy bickering triplets and their mentor is a toddler-sized homunculus dude named Clam who’s based more than a little on Stan Pines.

The Lightbringer Chronicles (Brainstorming)

Brianna Buckman has been raised an atheist. So much so that she’s not familiar with anything but the very basics of Christian mythology. So when she starts having flashbacks from things that never happened and seeing true-form demons and angels everywhere – plus a fallen angel in the mirror every day – she doesn’t know what they are and thinks she’s going crazy. So, she tells her parents she needs therapy.

But when she learns from the archangel Michael (posing as her therapist) that it's all real and she's none other than Lucifer, Brianna is determined to redeem herself and get her memories back. Just one problem with that: God, the only one who can fully grant her memories back, is missing. In his absence power-hungry angels are fighting over Heaven.

Brianna, Michael, and their sister Gabi (Gabriel) have to find God, and quickly, if they're going to survive the coming war or have any hope of protecting the human world.

Expect lots of trauma, female rage and poetical metaphors

#writeblr #writing #my writing #fantasy #speculative fiction #my ocs #about my writing #asom #godtouched #chatril #lbc #stormcrosser #c-of-s

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elenajohansenreads · 2 years ago

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Books I Read in 2023

#12 - Love is Blind, by Lynsay Sands

Rating: 1/5 stars

DNF @ 25%. I got to the first kiss, was unimpressed, gave up.

I put this in my queue ages ago because the premise sounded cute from the blurb, and possibly would lead to some interesting dynamics. But in reality that cute premise comes across as laborious and heavy-handed and genuinely sad, but not in the good way, like you want.

Clarissa is so nearly-blind that without her glasses (omg I'm tired of the word "spectacles" even if it's period-appropriate) she's incapable of performing most everyday tasks. Her stepmother is such a shrew that she would rather Clarissa be an extremely clumsy and off-putting potential wife than a functional person who can she what she's doing while trying to catch a husband, because apparently wearing glasses is worse than the constant stream of accidents Clarissa causes, in terms of marriage marketability. As such, Clarissa is too nearly-blind to see the apparently horrific scar on the Adrian's face, and gets to know him based on his personality instead. (At this point the story has not really explained to me why Clarissa's father is a non-entity who apparently doesn't give a fig that his second wife is a harpy who abuses his daughter. Because yes, maliciously depriving someone of a disability aid is abuse.)

Except I couldn't get invested in the supposed romance because I was just depressed that this woman lived a life so controlled by the expectations of society and the machinations of her stepmother that she falls in love with the first person to show her any shred of decency. Like, the entire courtship is Adrian doing basic, thoughtful things to make Clarissa's time with him easier. They're not connecting on any deep, spiritual level, or bonding over mutual interests (beyond one scene where they like the same author, when Adrian reads her a book) he's just nice to her, and that's really sad to me.

If Adrian really wanted to impress me as a reader, he should spirit her away from her stepmother long enough to buy a new pair of glasses; he would fix the problem, instead of easing the symptoms. Even if she could only wear them when they were together (her stepmother stole and destroyed her original pair) that would still be better than doing his minimal best to accommodate her "blindness." (My apologies to the author, I suppose, if this happens later in the book and I didn't get to it because I was so exhausted by how sad this all was.)

Even worse than the long-walk-to-a-simple-concept plot was the narrative style, though. I didn't finish the book, but based on the first quarter of it, the whole thing is at least twice as long as it needs to be, just from phrase repetition. When we're in Clarissa's POV, she can't stop repeating how much easier her life would be with her spectacles. When we're in Adrian's POV, it's all about his scar and how much it curtailed his life. And there are many instances where the author gives us information in narration (for example, Adrian has stopped going to gaming hells since getting his scar ) then immediately has a character repeat that information in conversation (Reg saying how surprised he was to see Adrian in a gaming hell because he doesn't go to them since he got his scar.) Or Character A says something to Character B, and Character B repeats the entire thing to Character C, so that I as a reader have to hear it twice, and usually those instances are back-to-back, or close to it: the gaming-hell example was all on the same page

Does the author seriously think readers can't remember things for more than ten seconds, or is the plot so thin that this is deliberate padding to make it novel-length? Either way, I'm done with it.

#booklr #book review #dnf review #romance novels

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booksandwords · 2 years ago

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State of Terror by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Louise Penny

Read time: 3 Days Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

The Quote: How she loved this country. This glorious, broken beacon. — Ellen Adams

State of Terror is one of those unputdownable books that I am immensely glad to have read. I stayed up far too late to finish it. Anyone looking at my reviews/ read books knows this one is out of the left field for me. But the premise is fantastic and the idea of Hillary Clinton a former American Secretary of State writing a book that heavily features that role was too much to ignore. Louise Penny is known as a thriller writer and they have a preexisting friendship which means there was less likely to be awkwardness there (because yes it can transition to the writing). It must be said it was art mare than imitating life with the Russian President, Maxim Ivanov and former president Eric Dunn being obvious caricatures of their real-life counterparts (Putin and Trump respectively). This is written in alternating points of view, I appreciate the decision to focus heavily on women for the POV. It feels right. Hillary Clinton is one of America's foremost female politicians of her age. An inspiration to young women for so many years, it makes sense that any novel she writes that involves the political sphere would feature women prominently. While still treating men with fairness. While the POV does focus largely on women it does tend towards men in the last 1/3. The writing for the action sequences towards the end of the book were highly effective. It felt almost cinematic, fast switching between the perspectives during the military engagements.

The main character of State of Terror is Ellen Adams. American Secretary of State, new to the role and trying to mend the bridges left by a chaotic previous presidency. Nearly everyone in the story is on some level connected to her. Importantly to the story, Ellen has two children a son, Gil Bahar with her first husband, and a daughter, Katherine with her second husband Quinn Adams. Gil is something of the family wild child his past is key in a way. Even the major villain of the story is tied in a way to Ellen. Ellen is not based on Hillary Clinton but you can certainly see where the influences are, where Ellen is perhaps the better version of herself. She is a strong, loyal and fearless woman, learning the boundaries of her job and pushing them. All her previous experience is in the media world and she has those networks. It makes her an interesting character to read, she's not a politician she doesn't think like that. When push comes to shove it's not about votes it's about people. She's not afraid to get her hands dirty and take risks to save lives.

From that day forward, Ellen and Betsy were almost inseparable. Ellen taught Betsy that goodness existed, and Betsy taught Ellen how to kick attackers in the nuts. — Ellen Adams

Okay, so Betsy, Betsy. She is keeping Ellen grounded. Something I think the real Betsy, Betsy Johnson, did for Hillary Clinton. Louise Penny admits that that real Betsy was much softer and less sweary than Betsy Jameson, her fictional counterpart. But the fictional Betsy is wonderful I adore her. Strong and confident and not going to let anyone question her presence in Ellen Adams inner circle. She has been there from day dot and she will let you know about it if you question her. One of my favourite parts aspects of her characterisation in a bizarre way is that she is frequently referred to at June Cleaver. A reference to her appearance and her personality. For those like me who weren't certain on the June Cleaver reference, she was the maternal, female lead character in the American sitcom Leave It To Beaver.

The FSO, Foreign Service Officer, of the blurb is Anahita Dahir. Ana is Lebanese-American, whip-smart and young. I like her. She is a character of colour written in a way that gives her some strength while showing that yes she would definitely be treated as a suspect in the relation to anything terrorism related. She has connections to Gil and a story to tell all of her own. The guilt and doubt and determination to help that she carries feels right. I adored the easy friendship she formed with Katherine, I'm unsure of their ages but something there just felt right. It is known that they went to school at the same time. Katherine is not used as well as she possibly could be. But as I said this is left open for a sequel and I can see how she could be used later. Katherine has taken over Ellen's media empire, not as a journalist as something more bureaucratic. there is a lot to respect in the character choices with her.

One other character I want to talk about. Dr Bashir Shah. Bashir Shah is the big villain of the story and he is a brilliant villain. Bashir Shah is an interesting man. I appreciate the line "He'd grown, over the years, almost fond of Ellen Adams. He'd come to know her quite intimately, and that had bred a rather curious bond." I quite like him in a bizarre way. He's intelligent, suave, physically attractive and manipulative. But he's flawed. By that I mean he has a very clear and plain ability to get too close, to not be objective. Yes he's an awful man, yes he's deadly and he's a terrorist. But as a character, he's just fantastic, there are stereotype elements just more. He's not a character you want to succeed in his goals, you want him to get his comeuppance but he's captivating to read and that matters.

Have some quotes and comments because it will stop me spoiling the story.

The head of the Joint Cheifs of Staff looked more like a librarian than a warror. Interestingly, the Librarian of Congress looked like a warrior. — (Ellen) I love this line so so much. I appreciate a warrior librarian. Librarians are warriors, protectors of knowledge and history.

"They've found the perfect vehicle in Eric Dunn." "Their Trojan horse." said Betsy Whitehead smiled. "A good analogy. Hollow/ An empty vessel into which these men and women have poured their ambitions, their outrages, their hatreds and insecurities." — (Bert Whitehead and Betsy Jameson) This is one of the many lines that I read I just thought... Trump, that is Trump. I really like the Trojan Horse analogy.

It kept each from behaving especially badly. That was the teory. What it in that created wasn't a balance of terror but a perpetual state of terror. — (Ellen) How had i never thought of this?

"I mean Hitchcock knew that the closed door is much more frightening than the open. Think of when you were a kid at night. Staring at the closed door. wondering what was really in there. We filled the void with our imaginations. And we almost never thought it was some kind of fairy holding a puppy and some pudding." — (Canadian Eye) The Canadian is a reference to the head of one of the Canadian security agencies during a meeting of Five Eyes. This is quite honestly one of my favourite quotes in the book. I just really like it.

I quite like the inclusion of the quote from The Little Prince "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.". It fits so well in context

They stared at each other. Much the same age, they'd grown up a world apart, but fate bought them together, like brothers. Like kindred spirits. Perhaps for that very reason, for this very moment. — (Gil) This is about Gil's relationship with Hamza. I really like their relationship. I like Gil, I like the way his mind works. Of the male characters, he's the one who has the most depth I think.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." — Anahita attributes this quote to Einstein. I had to look into it to see if the attribution was accurate. Apparently, it's a paraphrase but it's close. “I don’t know what weapons might be used in World War III. But there isn’t any doubt what weapons will be used in World War IV.” “And what are those?” a guest asked. “Stone spears,” said Einstein.

Louise Penny merges her worlds. Her best-known series appears to be Chief Inspector Armand Gamache (first book Still Life). Characters and the town Three Pines both appear. Also, a book of poetry (that if Penny if publishes I will buy) called I'm F.I.N.E. by Ruth Zardo. "It stood for "Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Egotistical."

I enjoyed the ending. It has definitely been left open for a sequel if Hillary Clinton and Louise Penny so choose. It could be good to see a less personal story, villain. But that doe raise the question would it work? Or is Shah and his connection to the wider story so important to the writing. That ending the sequence of events we see is rewarding to the reader and suits the tone of the book, keeping the reader engaged and questioning what they thought they knew. There are undoubtedly signposts to indicate where this was headed but I missed them. On a reread chances are what appears a little insignificant in the moment may just click into place as important. This is probably a 4.5-star book for me. It rewarded me for stepping out of my comfort zone. I really liked the characters and the writing style. It was a joy to see so many women together working for the good of others. But with them still being human and occasionally at odds.

#state of terror #hillary rodham clinton #hillary clinton #louise penny #book review #ktreviews #read 2021 #booklr

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notanotherreidgirl · 3 years ago

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Pretty In Pink Pt. 2 - Blurb

Summary: Spencer's punishment continues at home

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, edging, spanking, mommy kink, masturbation, sub!spencer wearing panties, degradation

Word Count: 1057

A/N: Clearly, I got carried away. This is a continuation of Part 1 that I wrote as a part of my 1k celebration!

For a profiler, Spencer should really be better at concealing his emotions but he was a complete mess in the bullpen - practically whining out loud when he sat in his chair, dropping his files on the floor, flushing a deeper and deeper shade of red every time someone shot him a concerned look. Eventually Hotch sent him home, saying that if all his paperwork was finished there was no reason to stay in the office, especially if he wasn’t feeling well.

His eyes darted to yours for permission before he accepted Hotch’s offer, strategically shrugging his satchel on in an attempt to hide his erection. As he passed your desk, you caught him by the sleeve and pulled him down. “Be ready for me”

As soon as Spencer was out the door you tore through your files, finishing them in record time before dropping them off on Hotch’s desk. You made some excuse about checking up on Reid and soon enough you were out the door and on your way home. You were pretty sure the team knew about your relationship with Spencer - the energy between the two of you was palpable from the very first day and whatever efforts Spencer made to hide his attraction to you were in vain. No one had said anything though - not even Penelope - and you were grateful. Spencer had such little experience that you wanted to take your time with him, no matter how badly you wanted to make him yours in every way imaginable.

That desire only deepened when you got home to see him waiting for you exactly as you had hoped - sitting in bed with nothing on except those pretty pink panties. You almost gave in right there but then he shifted in a desperate search for friction and whatever mercy you might have granted him was extinguished. “Let me make something perfectly clear. You are not going to come tonight. If you do, I won't touch you for a month, do you understand?”

Disappointment was written all over his face but he held his tongue. “Yes, Mommy. I understand. I’ll be good”

“We’ll see about that.” You crossed the room and regarded him with cold eyes. “Get on your knees”

He was staying true to his promise, getting in position without hesitation. You massaged his ass and he leaned into your touch, letting out a soft sigh when one of your hands drifted between his legs. He was so lost in your touch that the first slap took him by surprise and he yelped, hips bucking forward. You yanked him back by the waistband of the panties, pulling up so the fabric dug into his sensitive sex and extracted a whimper from the back of his throat.

You laid successive blows on each side, the sound of skin against skin reverberating through the entire apartment. Every time you hit him you pulled him back towards you with the panties, making sure to aim so you made contact over the fabric, chafing the sensitive skin. Eventually, his ass turned as pink as his panties and his moans started to blend into each other, signaling the onset of his release.

“Such a dumb, little slut getting off from being spanked.” You stopped abruptly, reaching between his legs and gripping the base of his cock. “Have you already forgotten what I said? Only good boys get to come.”

“No, please. I am a good boy. I can be so good. Let me show you.” His pleas were barely discernible through his tears and you held him in place, denying him any further stimulation until the threat of his orgasm subsided. When you were sure he wouldn’t come, you struck him one last time before opening the drawer of your nightstand. “Lie down, baby”

He scrambled to lay in the center of the bed, wincing when his raw skin made contact with the sheets. You kneeled between his legs, inching your skirt up and parting your legs to reveal your soaked core. You palmed him over the pink fabric, sticky with precum, and he whined. “Please, Mommy. I can’t - I need to come. I need it so bad”

“If you can’t handle my hand then how are you gonna take this?” You brought your other hand from behind your back, revealing the vibrator you grabbed from the nightstand. You switched it to the lowest setting and held it mere inches away from him. “What’s your color, baby?”

“Green! Please, mommy! Don’t stop, I’m so green.” His knuckles went white as his grip on the sheets tightened, physically restraining himself from bucking his hips up into the vibrator. The corner of your lips lifted in a smile as you lowered the vibrator, skimming over the front of the panties and tracing the outline of his hard cock. His whole body shook as he held his orgasm at bay, exercising every iota of self-restraint until it became unbearable. “I-I’m close. I’m so close, please”

With that, you withdrew the vibrator and he threw his head back into pillows, whining as his orgasm slipped away again. “I can tell you’re doing your very best to be good for me, baby. I think you deserve a little break”

He nodded in agreement, not really wanting to stop but knowing that if you edged him again he would surely come. But he wasn’t expecting you to bring the vibrator between your legs, gliding it between your glistening folds and circling your clit without breaking eye contact. He whimpered, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks and hands balled into fists to stop himself from reaching for you. “No, please wait. Don’t do this. Let me make you come, please. I’ll do anything you want”

His begging only spurred you on, slipping in a finger as your release built. “You should be grateful I’m letting you watch. Say thank you”

“Thank you” he mewled pitifully, sending you over the edge with a shout of his name. He watched powerlessly as you rode out your high, the visual of your face contorted in pleasure pushing him to the brink of orgasm. You came down breathlessly, nearly collapsing on him as you regained your bearings. Spencer reached out to you, prepared for cuddles and copious aftercare but you leaned back. “Oh no darling, I’m not done with you yet”

Blurb Masterlist

#blurbs #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #sub!spencer #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #unsuitable for work #lanie's 1k celebration!

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purple-heart-x · 3 years ago

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I’ve been encouraged to post some of the old, old writing that I have. Very whumpy, though I didn’t know there was a word for that. I’m cringing a little and it’s much less polished than my newer stuff, but enjoy!

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Summary/Context: Because this started as a blurb between friends, y’all need some context. It go bullet point because Joy no want to make the paragraph make sense

The Healer has some limited magic powers but relies heavily on actual medical practice because she has not fully mastered her power. She is a human, but was gifted healing and several other powers. This is 100% lore and no I will not explain (jk i will have you seen me lore dump in asks lmao)

Jack is a half-ghost, half-human being. He is able to travel dimensions via runes and, as a non-fully-human, is originally from a non-human realm. Think Omen from Valorant? He speaks in bold/italics/both when distressed or in pain. Which both apply here :) He was a stranger to the humans at first, but eventually helped them on their quest. He knew the rovers for a long time, notably Quinn. He had become their friend, but disappeared mysteriously right after their first “adventure” was over. (And now we know, he was captured by Jules)

Quinn is half-human, half-”robot” (not truly a robot, but close.st definition available). He led a group of others of his kind (called rovers) for a long time until a series of events led mainly by Jules brought him, his group, the Healer, and several other similarly-powered humans together. Other rovers include Paragon. (There are more, but they haven’t been introduced yet.) Humans will remain unnamed except the Healer, for now.

After Jules was defeated back then, they gave up on their previous base and decided to make their new base a huge house (more of a mansion). This is the current setting, for the most part.

Jules is an extraterrestrial menace from Jack’s original universe. They strive to gain power to take over the world. It is unclear why, but they see eliminating Jack as well as all the rovers as essential to their plan succeeding. They do not care about the humans but try to destroy them when they get in their way.

In Chapter 2 I use different text styles like bold and italics to note different people talking. I’m betting you can guess who Quinn is! :D

That’s it for now, feel free to ask anything you’d like. I might continue this, I’ve come to like it.

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Tagging- @shydragonrider

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If you think you know exactly what universe this is referencing, please do not publicly comment. My DMs should be open.

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TW: Mention of starvation, mans gets injured, fever, delirium, everyone’s got b a c k s t o r y,

Chapter 1

She ran after his racing form, desperately calling his name as he veered left and right, trying to lose her. She followed close, pleas for him to wait eventually silenced by breathlessness. She decided to gradually slow down, and the next time he changed direction, she pretended to continue away from him. She cut through the trees, just in time to see him summon a small rune to open a portal. Just in time to hesitate then follow him through.

The first thing she noticed was the lack of colour in this place. Everything was reduced nearly to grey, with only faint hints of colour, if any. Jack was standing in the center of a large grey platform, making an obvious effort not to move a muscle despite the beads of sweat on his forehead and the shakiness of each breath he took. He didn’t even notice the huge figure opposite him until they spoke. “Did you arrive without issue?”

They could almost feel his fear as he responded. “I… was followed briefly…”

“And?”

“I lost… them within… ten minutes…”

The figure nodded, staring coldly down at him. “Well, since you failed your simple task…”

Something in him seemed to break his mask and he started to tremble. “P-p-please-- It-- Please, it’s been four d-da-”

“BE SILENT!”

He was starting to hunch inwards, shaking violently by now. “P-p- I--”

They were screaming now, “You thought it would be five days? MAKE IT SIX!”

She barely suppressed her gasp of shock.

And then, he fell. His legs collapsed under him and he fell forward, arms wrapped around his now-still form. They regarded him from their high stance and then left, closing off the platform and the area surrounding it in some cage.

She silently counted out three full minutes, making sure they were truly gone, before emerging from their hiding place in the shadows. She climbed the steep steps quickly, rushing to his side. Whispered his name. Glanced quickly around to make sure no one heard.

He didn’t respond and no one seemed to hear, so she tried again. He still did not respond. Gently, she turned him over on his back, shocked at how light he was. She grasped his shoulder and lightly shook him, trying not to disturb him too much. “Jack, please… Wake up…”

He finally stirred, slowly opening his eyes. When they landed on her, they widened, and he drew in a breath, throwing an arm out to shield his face. “Please-! Please d- I-!”

She was shocked at how afraid he was. Even in the face of danger, he’d always maintained his grim composure, but now here he was, trembling on the floor, raw fear clear on his face. Immediately, she tried to calm him, speaking quietly so as not to frighten him. “Hey… Jack, it’s okay-- I’m not here to hurt you.”

He tried to say something else, but his already weak arms suddenly gave out.

She lunged, barely catching him from cracking his head on the ground. Gently, she lowered him to the ground, trying not to show the concern on her face that would only make him panic. Once he realised he had been released, he stared up at her with wide eyes. “H-how… Why… You--”

She was kneeling now, next to him. “I’m not going to hurt you. You are safe with me, I promise you.

He blinked, eyes full of panic fading back down to exhaustion. “I- I- D-didn’t mean t…o… R-run…”

She nodded. “From what I heard, I gather she made you…?”

He nodded. “Sh-she wanted me to… Spy…”

“It’s alright,” she assured him.

He spoke, suddenly. “D-d-do you h-have…Water...”

She was surprised- yet so glad- that he’d asked for it outright. “Yes, here,” she said, unstrapping a water bottle from her belt.

She held it out for him. But although he strained to move his arm, eyes tearing up from the effort, he could not do it. Through the whole thing, he was stuttering, full of fear, trying to beg for her to wait, that he could do it, to please, please-

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s okay. Here, let me help you.”

She helped him sit up, leaning against the edge of the boundary. Little droplets of tears ran down his face, and he was trying not to fully cry, they could feel it. She held the bottle for him, allowing him to finally drink. “It’s alright…”

He looked so desperate for the water. It almost broke her. She tried to keep their mind off it, instead focusing on allowing him to drink his fill. He'd only gotten worse since when she'd first seen him. Each breath came with a shudder and his eyes were by now fluttering. He was trying to say something, but his words slurred.

She tried to keep the concern off their face. "Jack… I don't think you're doing too well right now after what you've been through, and I don't have many of the things I need to help you. Can I bring you to our base? We can help you there."

His eyes were struggling to stay open. His voice was hoarse and barely audible. "Wi- W-Wi...th th-em-?”

She had to respond honestly. "Yes, with everyone."

His breathing trembled worse as he asked, "With- him?"

She nodded again. "Yes, with him. He misses you, Jack…"

The shivering form blinked. "Oh," he said in a tiny voice.

And then he dropped down into unconsciousness.

---

Bonus! Short Chapter :)

---

Chapter 2

"What happened?"

"He's here?"

"He's hurt?"

"Where was he?"

"…Jack…?"

She bit her lip and tried to answer the questions as quickly as possible. "He was forced to spy on us for days by- by Jules. They starved him for about four or five days, yet still forced him to run on what appears to have progressed into an ankle broken in three places."

She glanced at her friends' faces. Shock, all of them. Quinn looked sick, refusing to look up from his friend's troubled face as he blinked back tears.

They had to do something. "Somebody get the first aid kit. Somebody else make some tea. No sugar. He won't be able to handle it right now. Is the guest room open?"

Everyone fell into place with the orders. It was time to save their falling friend.

---

Man, y’all are getting content today. One more juicy chapter for tonight.

---

Chapter 3

Two days. That's how long it took for him to wake up. That's how long Quinn stayed up, at his side. Unable to sleep. Only able to sit and watch as the one he loved wavered between life and death.

Two days. That's how long the Healer worked, trying to get him to wake up. How long she tried to hold back her tears for the others. How long she spent each night between checks on him to research in her small personal library.

Two days. That's how long the others feared their shadowy friend would simply disappear in front of them.

Two. Days. That was enough for Jules to know he was gone.

Everyone knew that. Some wanted to fight while others wanted to run. Quinn finally called a meeting the second night.

"Well, as you may know, Jack is still not awake. And by now it is far enough along that Jules knows he is gone."

Murmurs follows his statements.

"I also am aware that we are conflicted on what should be done."

Almost immediately, people shouted out their opinions and reasonings. He hushed them. "What I think we must do," he spoke louder to be heard, "is to see if this location is in her view, and if it is…"

Everyone paused as his voice got low. "We'll make sure that digital horror never finds us or hurts us again."

Some people were nodding while others were looking slightly doubtful. But as Jaidan quickly pulled up the database, the Healer came sprinting down the stairs, whispering something in Quinn’s ear. The look on Quinn’s face never changed, but a slight twitch in his facial muscles alerted Paragon. He tilted his head just slightly, and Quinn nodded. He approached the mini “stage” in the middle of the room, which was really just the one misplaced stair that they hadn’t bothered to remove. He picked up where Quinn had left off, a common experience in their household.

Meanwhile, Quinn was silent as he rushed up the stairs behind the Healer. The minute they’d flown down the stairs, he knew something was wrong. Group meetings were hard enough without interruption, since the group was so big to begin with. “Jack’s woken up,” she whispered urgently, “half-delirious and dreaming he’s being hurt. He’s asking for you.”

Asking, he found, was a stretch. A more accurate word would be begging. As he climbed the final stairs, he could already hear Jack’s ragged sobs from the furthest room down the corridor. The Healer’s dark eyes were sorrowful and concerned as they stepped aside to let him pass before them. He strode quickly down the hall, opening the door cautiously.

Jack was on the bed, looking tiny even on the small-sized bed. Perhaps that was also partially because he was bent almost double, hands clutched together as if to defend his face, whimpering in complete terror of an unknown attacker. What hit him harder than a sword in the chest, though, was the sentence that kept tumbling out of Jack’s mouth each time his mind perceived another attack in whatever delusion he was trapped in.

“Quinn… H-Help me…” he trembled, “Please, it hurts so bad- Make it stop… Please, make it stop… Quinn, p-please help me…”

And he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He didn’t even know Quinn was actually there. There were so many things bubbling in Quinn’s chest, but he pushed them aside as he rushed to the side of the bed, not hesitating to sit on it next to his terrified friend.

Quinn knew him, knew what would help. He turned slightly, lifting Jack into his arms. As the tiny figure began to struggle, he restrained him, looping an arm around his flailing ones. He hugged him close, firmly, but loosely enough that he wouldn’t feel trapped. “It’s okay,” he said in a soft tone, “I’m here… I’m not going to let them hurt you any more, okay? I’m here now, it’s okay.”

The grey-eyed figure stopped struggling as he recognised the voice. “Q-Quinn?” he asked, squinting without his glasses.

“It’s me,” he said again, sighing quietly in relief as Jack calmed down slightly.

Jack swallowed hard, shifting with Quinn’s help to face him. “I-It hurts,” he wept, face still clenched tight with pain.

“I know, hun, we’re trying to get it to stop,” Quinn whispered gently.

It was like that for a while, Quinn holding Jack close while Jack held on tighter. It was as if he didn’t truly believe Quinn was actually there, and he clutched tightly to his oldest friend as if to keep him from leaving again. And even though his fingers were digging slightly into Quinn’s skin, he was able to tolerate it by the way Jack’s arms shook with effort.

Even though Jack was so relieved to have Quinn with him, his body was giving out too much to express it. He was barely able to gasp out anything besides “It hurts”, to which Quinn could only try to soothe him.

Eventually, he couldn’t even manage that, and started to fall back into unconsciousness. He fell asleep with Quinn stroking his hair lightly.

Quinn nodded to the Healer, who lingered in the doorway, and she gently rested her hands on the injured soul’s waist to bring him to the med table. But the minute her fingertips touched him, he flinched and jolted awake, a tiny, scared noise escaping his lips.

Before he could panic further, Quinn jumped in. “It’s okay, Jack, that’s just my friend. She’s here to help you feel better, okay? I’m still here. I’m still here, I promise.”

Jack relaxed slightly and allowed the Healer to pick him up. He gave a little nod, and whispered, “O-okay…” as the Healer carried him gently to the next room.

A whimper lingered in the air.

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officialsimppage · 4 years ago

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-Drunk Thoughts-

Request- Maybe a Spencer Reid x reader who rambles facts when drunk and Spencer hears it for the first time and is shocked at how much they know and that it's all correct information??

Thank you for requesting! I think this is a good blurb idea, so that’s what I’m going to do! So around 1k to 1.k words? I hope that's fine! This is based around s7!

I pulled up to the bar the team was planning on going to tonight. I was originally going to hang out with my new puppy, but I guess this is better. I grab my handbag and get out of the car. I’m wearing my new cocktail dress which Is short, red, and low cut. Perfect outfit for a good time. My main goal is to impress Spencer. We have been dating for around 6 months and we haven’t been to a nightclub together! It has been crazy since Emily died, and came back to life. So my plan is to show him what I got. I walk inside and I hear the music blasting and lights going crazy.

Let me introduce you to my party people

In the club

It's a new generation of party people

Get 'em up, yeah

I walk around until I see Penelope in one of her extravagant outfits. I walk up behind her and tap her on the shoulder.

“Y/N! You made it!” She yells wrapping her arms around me. Obviously drunk already.

“Wow um hi! You smell like vodka martinis! Where's Spence?” I say laughing. She then laughs and drinks a shot.

“Drink this!” She says handing me a shot.

“Oh, oh ok!” I say downing the drink. I feel it burn as the amber liquid goes down my throat. She then smiles and sighs, looks up and down my body and says,

“God you are so beautiful! I wish I had your body with your tiny waist,” grabbing my waist. “And your flat tummy. Oo! It’s sculpted too!” She said as she felt my stomach as if I was pregnant. I catch Spencer's eye and he sees what she's doing and his eyes widen. I mouth ‘Help me!’ to him and he rushes over.

“Hey Pen, how about you go dance with Morgan!” He says ushering her to him.

“Oo! Yes!” She says quick walking to Derek.

“Thank you Spencer you really saved me out there.” I say laughing while drinking a martini.

“Yep it was a no problem,” Spencer says with a light chuckle taking a sip of his drink.

“How many drinks has she had?” I whisper to him.

“Too many obviously.” He says laughing.

“True, true.” I say poking his shoulder. “Bartender! Give me 3 rounds of shots for me and my hot boyfriend!” I yell while moving around my hand. He then laughs and shakes his head. We get our shots and I down the, creating a burning sensation in my mouth and throat. He gags and then we laugh a little. I order a beer and then say, “Let’s go dance!” He then has a worried look on his face as we go into the crowd.

I pull Spence to me by his tie and I start swaying my hips to the music. He looks around, a bit uncomfortable, then he looks down at me and puts his hands on my waist. I turn around and start to grind my ass on his crotch as I take a swig of my beer. I feel him put his hands on my hips and move me around with a swave of confidence. I look behind me and I can tell he is enjoying it. And I can feel it too. If you know what I mean.

We finish dancing and we head to the bar to do more shots with the team. We do 4 rounds of shots and that’s when I know I am drunk. Like uberrrr drunk. I turn to Spencer and I say,

“Did you know over the last century, ‘Micheal’ has been the most popular baby name 44 times?” I say I sound so smart and surprised at myself.

“U-um Yeah! Wow!” he says looking confused then fact checking it in his head and him knowing I’m right. I smile at him a bit and then say,

“Tu es si beau mon amour.” smiling at him he looks shocked, then confused,

“Y- Y/N I know you can speak Spanish bu- but French too?” Does anyone else know that you speak French?” He says whisper yelling.

“Hehe nooo! It’s a secret!” I whisper at him poking his shoulder. Then I start bursting out laughing for no reason and putting my finger to my lips shushing. “Also, did you know the average American eats around 13 pounds of ice cream a year!” I say, sounding so shocked. HE looks at me with the weirdest face.

“H-how do you know all of this?” He asks, chuckling, but being confused.

“Cause I’m super smart like you!” I say pointing poking his forehead and mine. I start laughing so hard I snort. “I’m tired babyyy. I wanna go home!” I say leaning on him putting my head in the crook of his neck. I put my hand on his chest and started whining.

“Guys I’m going to take Y/N home she's tired.” Spencer says to everyone.

“Ok bye!” everyone says to us

“ByEe!” I say changing my voice tones. We walk outside to the car and when we get in I spill more facts.

“Did you also know that fewer than a quarter of adults follow the U.S. guidelines for physical activity? Also, nearly half of American adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime?” I keep rambling facts all the way home, up the stairs, into Spencer's apartment, and into bed.

“I still can’t believe you can speak French and know all of those facts.” Spencer says while playing with my hair as I lay on my chest.

“You will find out a lot about me handsome.” I say patting his chest. “Goodnight Spence.” I say.

“Goodnight my lady genius.”Spencer says, pulling me close.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds reid #mgg x reader #mgg #blurb #matthew gray gubler #request

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k-popmakesmyday · 4 years ago

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A/n: the way this started as a blurb and then just made it’s way to 2k 🥲It’s gonna be a oneshot now but i’ll make into a fic later

💌 • 6:04 pm

The time was around 6pm when you decided that you had given up on true love once and for all, sighing as you launched your packed bag (an action that would most conveniently slip from your memory the next time you gracefully overslept and needed to throw yourself out the door with that same bag) off to a corner of your apartment, as if throwing away your emotions all together. You dared not to glance at the empty corner of your bedroom where your blankets usually lay neatly stacked ready for top-tier cuddling whenever the occasion should arise. So you took to propelling your body face-first onto your bed, your own constant, warm safe-haven - ready to console you whenever you couldn’t face the world.

And there you lay, with furrowed eyebrows as you fought with the urge to express your sorrow by helplessly sobbing while clutching you pillow for dear-life. ‘It’s nothing, stop being so dramatic, y/n’, you mumbled over and over as your voice creeped ever higher with each lie you forced out.

It wasn’t nothing.

You flat-out rejected the salty tracks that raced down your cheeks, cursing as you felt overwhelming betrayal while they revealed your secret to no one in particular, however your inner turmoil raged at the sign of you admitting the reality of the past hour or so. Curling into a small ball, you tried to offer yourself comfort in any way you could - yet truthfully you knew it was hopeless as it made to be no match for his comfort, the way he’d wrap you up in his arms and move his hands gently over your skin as he caught your tears in his warm hands, as if the simple action could allow him to take the pain away.

But no, you weren’t going to think about him.

Meanwhile, in a realm of comfort not far from your own, Felix sat crosslegged on the smooth, laminate floor of his shared dorm. ‘WHOO’-ing in victory as his blonde companion who was barely a day older than him pelted the undeserving controller away from his body in disgust. It’s brief descent making a rather ugly skidding noise as it collided with the entertainment unit, the boy huffed out his squirrel-like cheeks as he mumbled something about how the intense-sounding playlist the younger boy appointed as background was distracting him.

Felix only turned to look at his friend with a smug grin on his face, “I believe that makes 5-1 to Felix Lee!”, he exclaimed, “Need to step up your game, mate.”, the dusty-blonde smirked as he leant back against the base on the leather couch.

“Whatever, it’s exhausting playing with you.” Jisung scowled at his younger friend as he heaved his exasperated body off the ground and reached his arms up towards the ceiling to regain feeling in his many limbs that had taken to falling asleep during the gaming tournament. “What time is it, anyways? Feels like a day since I saw the sun”, the older boy forced out through a yawn.

The boy in question could only offer incoherent ‘I’s and ‘uh’s in return as he stumbled to his feet, hastily shrugging a jacket over his shoulders. Seungmin, who had conveniently just come out of the shower and happened to stumble across the scene, exchanged a bewildered look with Jisung before turning back to Felix. The two observed their brother with amazement as he struggled to shove his foot into his navy-blue trainer, the action resembling a fish out of water as he desperately hopped around on one foot. If Felix’s friends weren’t so concerned at the present moment they’d be recording his peculiar antics, ready to never let him forget. But rather they were left with puzzled looks as the front door slammed, endless, unanswered questions lingering in the air.

Felix trusted knocking to be useless in a situation with a severity such as this one, he hastily struggled to wade through the endless puzzle of his keys before he jammed the spare key you had given him into the lock, slowing his pace slightly as he entered into your home. He knew as soon as he stood in the living room how badly he had messed up - your sadness lingered in the air protruding from your bedroom, taking blows to his own chest with each step as he found himself quite breathless.

The chocolate-eyed boy first found your abandoned overnight bag, taking a deep breath before spilling its contents. Felix’s regret glared up at him in the shape of your blankets, pyjamas and packed lunches you had prepared for earlier in the day. He quickly tore his gaze away from the endearing note you had stuck to his sandwiches, not bearing to withstand another reason to feel impossibly worse.

Felix tip-toed into your room as if he were afraid to wake you, yet he knew he had to talk to you - and, god, was he in for it. The boys throat tightened at the sight of you, as if it were punishing him for being so careless. He could only stare as you lay curled up in a state of uncomfortable sleep, clinging to the pillow he usually slept on. He slipped off his shoes and jacket, desperately prolonging waking you up and seeing the heartbroken look grace your soft features, he slowly knelt down and brushed your hair behind your ear, the action revealing the sheer amount of crying you had partaken in before his arrival.

Unfortunately for Felix, you had not nearly slipped into a deep enough sleep to gain some proper rest, so the action caused you to stir and have your eyes flutter open, those who had puffed up full of emotion, their betrayal presenting itself front and centre with the harshest shade of red. The remorseful boy watched as your face convulsed into one of distaste as you quickly sat up and looked away from him.

“I don’t want to talk to you, get out.” you croaked, voice thick with sleep and tears as you lied to the boy in front of you.

“Baby I am so.. so sorry-”, he reached out a hand to hold yours, eyes desperately searching your own when you yanked your hand away from him.

“You should’ve called,” you breathed as you fixed your gaze on the minuscule cracks in your ceiling, as if your tears would become distracted by them as you spoke not only to the boy in front of you, but to yourself. “If you’re busy, o-or if you don’t want to go out with me, just tell me”

You didn’t stop your ranting at the boys “baby, no i-”, unknowingly cutting him off as you let out the thoughts and insecurities that had been poisoning your mind all day. “- just don’t make plans and let me get all excited and stupid and then.. leave me to wait at the park by myself, with things for a picnic date and a sleepover.. looking like an idiot.”

The boy in turn once again reached out to console you, realising he could spend his entire life searching and never find the right words to possibly comfort you in that moment - but as you weakly pushed your heart away from your body, Felix felt his own shatter into a million pieces at your confession.

“It’s not stupid, y/n, this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have called, i should’ve been there, like I promised. I would never leave you alone on purpose, i just forgot because, well. i don’t even know why. I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say right now but i promise,” he paused to look you straight in the eye, the seriousness being unusual in your easygoing relationship. “I promise i will make it up to you.” he sighed at the lack of response, yet he knew he deserved nothing less, and moved to his feet. “I know you need space so.. i’ll leave you alone, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything at all, i love you-”

The rambling Australian’s words were caught in his throat when he felt a warmth encase his wrist, he looked down at your hand and back up to meet your eyes, sporting a puzzled gaze as you sniffled.

“Stay. Just because I can’t sleep without you.”

Your words earned a small smile from the latter boy as he inwardly gushed over your adorable manner, he wasted no time slipping under the covers and embracing you in his arms in a silent apology, although he knew it would be one of many. Not only did he curse himself for being so forgetful, but he also felt his heart shatter at your assumption of him missing your one-year anniversary celebration purposefully. He shut his eyes and screamed at his imagination not to picture you sat on the picnic blanket all by yourself, suppressing tears as you avoided the invading gazes of passerby’s (who could easily have guessed what happened - your asshole of a boyfriend stood you up, how were they to know it was unknowingly?)

Felix had lost count of the amount of times he had attempted to drift off, never fully falling into sleep as the guilt stood in the back of his mind, nagging and mocking him constantly. The sun was finally starting to seep through the curtains as the boy decided that his torturous night’s ‘sleep’ should come to an end as he carefully removed his arms from around you and got up. Grabbing one of his hoodies you’d stowed away in your wardrobe as he made his way out to the kitchen, not forgetting to re-tuck you in before he left.

It was some hours later when you finally announced your consciousness to the world, you dragged yourself into your ensuite to find your eyes impossibly filled to the brim with dry tears, stabbing at your fragile eyes as you began to wash up for the day. You wandered into the kitchen to be met with a sweet, inviting aroma, one that reminded you of... your birthday? Letting out a tiny gasp, you silently sat down at the breakfast bar as you watched your flour-covered boyfriend finishing piping icing on his last cupcake, before he turned around and screamed at the sight of you.

“AH!”, he scrambled to cover your eyes, “you weren’t supposed to see these yet!” His lips forming an adorable pout as he threw his arm by his side in a child-like manner. “I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed except.. it’s cupcakes”

You smiled as your heart melted at the thought, pressing a soft peck to his cheek, whispering “i love it” loud enough so that only he could hear. Despite the two of you being alone in your cozy apartment, you outright rejected the thought of anyone else getting in on the words meant for only each other.

He sighed in defeat as he presented you with a plate of slightly messy cupcakes adorned with vanilla buttercream swirling magnificently on top of each one. They may not have been the best dressed baked goods you’d ever seen, but there was no doubt in your mind that every little cake was made with the utmost care and love, and that’s all you could ever ask for.

“I know it’s not much but... i just wanted to say how sorry I am for yesterday. This, obviously, doesn’t make up for it but if you’re feeling up to it.. we could go on our date today? I’m just so sorry baby, this isn’t enough, but it’s a start, right?” he looked up at you with hopeful, doe eyes as you nodded and pulled him down to sit next to you.

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” the exhausted boy murmured to you, making you reply with a reassuring kiss on his temple.

“Yeah, Lix, we’re gonna be just fine.”

#stray kids request #kpop requests #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids drabbles #stray kids blurbs #stray kids Felix #lee Felix #lee yongbok #stray kids soft hours #stray kids angst #stray kids timestamps #stray kids oneshot #felix lee

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strangerays · 3 years ago

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Nothing in Particular Update #2

It’s the Nothing and Particular and Everything update part two: the electric booglaloo. This one is long, so strap in.

It’s been a while since I wrote an update for this story. To be honest, this one gave me a lot of stress, but here I am! Writing this story feels like it is going very slow. I keep telling myself I’ve made a lot of progress (which is true, I have) but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I have? This is likely just my own insecurity. To be frank, I can’t believe I’m still writing this story. If you had told me in February that I’d still be writing this when the weather got warm, I would have laughed.

I am SO excited that I will finally be able to focus on writing now that I’m out of school. I’m afraid to speak the rough deadline that I’ve given myself for this story (the end of August-early September) but now that I’ve spoken it into existence, I hope I can finish! (I hope I can stop watching dumb videogame playthroughs and listening to The Magnus Archives and get something done)

Here is a link to the story introduction and previous update!

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar @writeherewaiting

STORY CHANGES/THOUGHTS/IDEAS:

Here is a big one: I’ve been trying to write this story for myself. I started writing Ray’s story from a place that was personal to me, but I feel like, as that part of myself has begun to heal, I’ve started to think about what a reader would want out of the story. I’m realizing that this is my story so it has to be what I want. Drafts are drafts for a reason, so I’m going to try to get better at letting myself explore what is fun to me.

I always thought I was a discovery writer (I still sort of think I am) but as I’ve finished small sections of the story, I am finding that it’s very helpful to do a rough outline of scenes in upcoming chapters. (I also recommend turning to this if something doesn’t work and you need to retrace your steps!) Just helps me feel more organized!

Jude’s character has got to be one of the most difficult personalities I’ve ever written. Putting her beside Ray just makes it harder. Where Ray is secretive and keeps to herself, Jude is ready to unpack her entire life’s story to anyone. I find that I really have to slow down when writing their interactions. I know this is going to be nowhere near perfect in the first draft, but I think it is a main contributor to my slow writing.

I really like this little narrative I’ve created in the background of the main plot with Ray and Lonan. I love writing these scenes because it’s a way for me to use Lonan when he’s not actively with Ray and to show why Ray is predetermined about things at certain points. Also I love their friendship so much <3

CONGRATULATIONS TO ME on starting to read again because I forgot how much of a help reading other people’s stories can be when you’re struggling with your own oml

I now have a set timeline for the story! Takes place ~4-5 months.

I did that thing where you write a letter from the characters’ perspectives and that was kind of fun

Also just for fun I thought I’d add in that I spent an hour and a half last week filling up a page in my sketchbook with diagrams of the plot. It feels good to be a mad scientist

EXCERPTS UNDER THE CUT!

*At this point, I’m only sharing writing that I am really proud of in order not to spoil the story! This is because I am unsure whether I want to publish this story someday. With that said, that does NOT give you permission to steal my ideas!

CHAPTER: NIGHT CRIES

In the last week of summer, I did everything I could to avoid post-vacation blues. I rode my bike along the gravel roads with no destination, wore my dark sunglasses to people-watch, and fed salami to the minnows that floated on the cusps of boulders. Usually, I sat still for so long that my elbows turned a deep shade of red and the blood in my toes buzzed.

New pockets seemed to open up in Point Blink every day. And with them, came new people. Most of them were older – a middle aged woman who caked her lipstick on, an uncle estranged from his brother, a couple who had miscarried. I hadn’t forgotten about the kids at Mothouse. It was impossible not to think about them. It wasn’t just that I’d never seen them before.

The girl’s limp cigarette bled a trail of smoke that seeped into my Vans. My shirt folded like skin over my bed post. Haunted the room – foiled my mauve sheets and teased my locks. Swept the curtains apart and heated the oak floor. Beams of moonlight leapt to my bookcases; highlighted the posters from various podcasts and bands that I listened to. Wind whistled when I was too still. She forced me to look outside, onto the dark cul-de-sac lit by the reflections of forming rain puddles. No matter whether I sat at my desk or burrowed under my sheets, I felt out of place. She made my bedroom louder. She made my bedroom quieter.

I decided it would probably be best if I never saw her again.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about writing this chapter because it was over a month ago (sorry) but I’m still quite happy with the prose! This comes in after Ray sees Jude for the first time at Mothouse. Based on a first impression, decides that she might want be friends with Jude.

CHAPTER: SORRY

If you spend any long amount of time with someone, you’ll become a thief to their behaviors. If I stared long enough, trees began to replace all of the people we’d ever seen. Oaks had roots that serpentined the ground like children splashing in the bay, pines with needles like spindly old hands, maples with hollows like watchful eyes – all things Lonan had taught me to observe.

CHAPTER: GHOSTS

Then there was the sea – violent and knowing as it romped within bays and alcoves. She had eaten me many times before, both my father and Lonan too. Gulped them as if they were shining plastic wrappings left behind after a meal. I spited her for inviting me once again. I reached up again to grapple with the next rung. It twisted and offered a low whistle.

In these two chapters, Ray is on a photography trip with her class. This is the first time she’s been on this annual trip without Lonan. She left that morning with a goal of being independent and learning to get on with one of the only people she has felt close to. I realize now that the Ghost excerpt sort of sounds like her dad and Lonan have drowned?? Which was not my intention??

CHAPTER: A DIVINE INTERVENTION

“Do you believe in ghosts?” A raspy voice teased from behind me. Cigarette smoke tickled the words, like they were stuck together with jelly inside of her. The question wasn’t particularly calming, but it strengthened my grip on reality. As if the foiled leaves, bark, and dandelions had sprung from the ground and begun to float, they came crashing back down.

I was made of stone.

“I’m not a ghost,” Jude said. “If I was, a ladder would be a pretty counteractive way to outrun me. I could just float up there and haunt you.”

“Maybe you’re a ghost,” she asked, her voice distant.

I shifted my grasp up and down the sides of the ladder. “What?”

“Don’t you believe in ghosts?”

I was reading back some of Ray and Jude’s conversation and there are so many snippets of dialogue that make me laugh because I totally forgot I wrote them... but UGhhH I don’t know if I want to share them because I don’t know whether or not I want to try and publish the story someday. Speaking of that, it’s sort of because it’s so personal to me? I don’t know (this is for future me to pursue) Honestly though, reading these back has made me really happy :)

I wanted to shake her by the shoulders. She acted as though Point Blink could breathe – as though corpses in the cemetery might pull the grass away like dead skin, neighbors would draw blades, and blood-salt would stain her clothes rather than that from the sea. “Trust me, they’ll forgive you. But, I’m just saying, most people around here don’t care nearly as much as you think so. Most of them are way older anyways, so they’re tired of us.”

“Is that you complimenting yourself?” Jude asked.

“Not intentionally,” I said, “but I will take it.”

She laughed. “You shouldn’t be so nice to strangers.”

I wasn’t trying to be. I just didn’t think I wanted her to dislike me.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a good thing,” Jude said. “Being good gets you tucked into a thousand different memories. Being good makes you live a lifetime.”

I almost laughed, but then I wondered what I was to her now. “I don’t talk to lots of people.”

“Sometimes there aren’t many people to talk to. But I thought you would have loads of friends.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I thought you would too.”

Alarm like grief lit her eyes, but she laughed. I did too.

“You hardly know me,” she said quietly.

Then the girls explore some old newspapers and letters in a fire tower! Spooky fun!

CHAPTER: YOU LET THIS HAPPEN

This isn’t a major spoiler as it’s literally in the blurb I wrote, but Ray and Jude are caught (targeted..??) in a fire. Ray is brought back to a field where she is questioned.

CHAPTER: NOTHING HAPPENS

He was quiet for several moments while he painted a picture with what little details I had given him, then said, “It’s unfair. I think that’s why it hurts.”

“Because we almost got hurt?”

“No. Because it came true.”

His gentle, ragged voice made me think I could tell him anything. Sometimes, I think that, even then, he knew I left something out.

Ray talks to Lonan after the fire... She’s being a bit dishonest about what actually happened.

CHAPTER: WHY NOT

I remember how the barest amount of red light glared across Lonan’s entire scalp and washed his boyish curls magenta from the roots out. When Jude leaned back on the counter, she melded into the darkness.

This chapter is just part of the narrative that I created with Ray and Lonan’s friendship. There isn’t much I want to spoil from it, but I liked this paragraph!

CHAPTER: INEVITABLE

“We didn’t do anything,” I said.

“Someone did. Why won’t you believe me?”

“I think I would remember whether or not someone was there with us,” I said, “even if we didn’t have the picture.”

This was untrue. I hung lots of photos in my room. A long time would pass before I went to a restaurant again, or a specific coven on one of the beaches, or an outfit that I wore, and I would look into one of my pictures and remember it, and then I would be quite angry with myself that I had almost forgotten that thing forever.

“I don’t think you understand what I mean,” Jude said. I didn’t like the way she’d lowered her voice. She sounded different every time I saw her. She reached out her arm so our photos were side by side and our fingers were almost touching. “I don’t think you want to.”

Ray finds herself alone in the school’s dark room with Jude. Based on the contents of one of her photos, she tries to convince Ray that there is more to the fire than what meets the eye.

CHAPTER: (this one is untitled)

I didn’t mind that he followed me everywhere. Even when he was quiet, I didn’t find it strange to be around him. We sat silently through films and went on walks. Once, he had fallen asleep while watching The Iron Giant in my bed. I didn’t know if I should wake him up once it ended. I tried not to stare at him. He’d rolled onto his side and bundled himself in one of my blankets covered in stars up to his shoulders so only his small face poked out like a baby owl’s. His soft breath messed his dirty gold coils. They were at their longest. Except for the ebbing light from a candle on my desk, my house was asleep – Lonan needed to go home.

For the first time, I wondered if anyone cared where he was.

Another small part of the little friendship narrative! (This really is the part of the story where I get nostalgic for my childhood, isn’t it) Ray starts to discover more about Lonan’s home life in this part of the story, but there’s not much that I think I want to reveal about that for now.

CHAPTER: THE CRUX OF IT

Why did I feel so paranoid? I found myself staring out the window, into the film of blue that the late sun shown onto the grass and trying to remember what summer felt like.

My main problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to Jude unless it was about Sugarfell. I ran from the hush of cigarette smoke behind closing doors and heard her loud voice in conversations. Even though there might have still been a part of me that wanted to be friends with her, I didn’t have much to base that feeling off of. I could have spent hours clicking the little pieces of her that I had together, but the crux of it was that I would never know Jude unless I forced myself to.

For some reason, that really scared me.

I spent all week trying to think of what to say to her. By Friday afternoon, I still had nothing.

I left off writing with Ray actively avoiding Jude’s little investigation into the arsonist. Ray doesn’t want to be involved in this because she feels that it will throw her sense of normalcy off course. She really just wants to learn how to adapt to a life without her best friend. (It doesn’t help that she’s got fresh trauma)

What will Ray decide? I don’t know. We shall see. (just kidding I know)

Sorry this update was longer! I think I would like to start updating more often than once a month just because they would be shorter and those of you reading this won’t forget what happened in the last update. There are thousands and thousands of words that didn’t show up in this update because - like I said - I don’t know whether I want to publish this story ever?? I’ll probably talk more about this in a separate update.

Thank you so much to those of you who read about my story! I hope you enjoy it!

p.s. btw I now have a myWriteClub account! You can check it out here and stalk me as I tragically fail my writing goals!

#ffs writing this update was like throwing a boulder into a lake #there was so much I wanted to share #it's really difficult to decide what to share as sometimes a paragraph that I'm really proud of will be really spoilery #I can only imagine this will be more and more difficult as I get further into the story #ANYWAYS #I feel like I'm really beginning to see who my characters are <3 #I feel like a proud mother #To be honest #I kind of hated Jude in the beginning #but now I feel like Ray hates her too so that makes me like her #haha im so mean #tune in next time for a Sapphic spy date

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