#this is how I answer the question I’ve been asking myself: am I a prehistoric or a modern condor?

[california-condork]

EXTINCTION: a poem by a very old bird

I do not deal in decades.

I deal in eons, in epochs,

in tens of thousands of frigid, dead, bone-petrified years.

I picked clean the holy bodies of our ancestors’ ancestors.

I stripped the flesh from what would become the first flutes, the first rattles,

the first weapons of war.

I threw myself into an eye-stingingly ice blue sky,

and I soared aloft, gore-soaked and glorious and free

on air so crisp, our modern throats would choke trying to breathe it.

My shadow fell against tundras, grasslands, and cliffs,

against fire and so, so much ice,

against the living and against the dead.

I circled silently through star-spattered nights our eyes can no longer take in.

My talons clung to boulders and boughs that now lie, fossilized, miles beneath our feet.

If anything remains of me, one may think it cannot be found.

But that is a foolish thought.

I haunt the present with power lent to me by the past.

The eternal beast, Extinction, believed I was birdbrained enough to be its prey,

but I mauled it, while it could not pluck so much as the littlest feather from my wings.

I now soar hungry circles above Extinction as it bleeds,

waiting, as patiently as always,

until it finally perishes beneath me.

Then, and only then, will it learn what happens

when you attempt to predate a vulture that feeds on death itself.

[water-dance]

In case anyone's missed it, here's the Metamoro reunion during Ermal's showcase at Radio Subasio. Translation under the cut.

I: We have your [Ermal’s] fans at home. There’s one more, we are moving to Rome where there’s Fabrizio. Fabrizio? Are you there?

F: Here I am

I: Fabrizio? I can’t see him and I can’t hear him. Will he be there or not? This listener, fan of Ermal Meta.

F: Just a moment…

I: [laughs]

E: Who’s that? I’ve already recognized his voice.

I: You can’t let yourself get caught like that!

E: BIZIO! Let us see you!

I: There he is, hi Fabrizio! We wanted to surprise him but he recognized you just with one word! Welcome Fabrizio.

E: As soon as I heard- He doesn’t even have to talk, I heard a “huh” and I understood.

I: You understood immediately.

E: Yeah, sure.

F: I’ve just entered the call and as soon as you said “There’s a fan from Rome”-

I: You didn’t expect it to be you?

F: I thought “what is she doing? Is she just putting it out there like that?”

I: You’re not only a friend of Ermal Meta, you’re also a fan of his, right?

F: Don’t exaggerate now. Can I ask him a question?

I: Sure you can, that’s what I wanted to ask you. Ask Ermal Meta a question.

E: Careful or I’ll beat you up.

F: A question for Ermal Meta…

I: Yes, let’s hear it.

F: But let me see him though, or I can’t do it, I see my face. Here he is. So, first of all, who does your hair?

E: First of all…?

F: Who does your hair?

E: Who does my hair? I do it myself! I pray for my hair. I pray and they do their thing.

I: Well but he’s lucky, he’s curly, no?

F: [randomly can be heard saying “my love” to Ermal for no reason]

E: He is obsessed with my hair, it’s something terrible, since the day we met [he’d say] “what about this hair?”. Just mind your own fucking business! Right?

I: Listen, is it true that at first you didn’t really like each other?

E: No, that’s not true.

I: No? I had read this, you didn’t like each other at first and then thing was born…

E: No, always [liked each other]

I: Right from the start?

E: I don’t know about him [Fabrizio], cause he’s a bit of a little shit, but I’ve always liked him.

I: Fabrizio, do you confirm that or…? Is it true for you too? Or at the start-

F: You know what, jokes aside, I think that there are, especially in this world of ours, let’s call it like that, in the entartainment, music world, there’s a lot of mistrust, especially when you don’t know each other, and also a lot of jealousies. But there are cases, like with me and Ermal, in which people smell each other and immediately recognize each other. I remember I already heard talks about Ermal, before he arrived in Sanremo with “Vietato Morire”, I already heard people talk about him because I indirectly followed him through some people we have in common. When I saw him, for the first time, appear on that stage with that song, I immediately recognized a soul similar to mine and so I wanted to get to know him in person, that year, because I was also competing with “Portami Via”, and I was the one who walked up to Ermal to compliment him, hug him and tell him “I want to be friends with you, I want to be friends because you are a person I like” and Ermal can confirm it.

E: I confirm.

F: I’m a really introverted person so I rarely make friends with people…

I: So it was something immediate, you liked each other

E: Yes, absolutely

I: There’s something more I want to ask you, I don’t know if it’s fake news, there’s many to be read, but there’s a 12th song that you did not put in your album because rumors say it should have to do with Fabrizio Moro and his movie project, is it false?

E: No, look, not his movie project. I mean, he didn’t ask me for anything so…

I: See, Fabrizio? It’s your fault. There was a chance and you didn’t ask him.

E: No, no, I mean…

I: Look, he [Fabrizio] is hiding!

F: It’s not true! It’s been 6 months of me asking him to come and watch the movie!

E: Shut up! Let me speak! He is an amazing singer-songwriter, so when an amazing singer-songwriter works on a movie, you don’t walk up to him and tell him “let’s do something together for your movie”

I: Obviously

E: He doesn’t need me, he’d do it himself. Why do I hear my echo? I’m getting confused, if I hear my own voice it’s going to be a mess.

I: You seem like the Pope.

E: But there is a song we were supposed to do together! But he does not hurry up and write his part of the lyrics! So, I mean, Fabr��! I’m getting white hair while waiting for you! I’m starting to look like you! Just some tattoos [more]…

I: So, Fabri, when are we doing this thing?

F: But if you do remember, you sent this thing to me while I was on the set…

E: [hand gesturing] I sent it during the prehistoric era.

I: You sent it when he wouldn’t answer your calls? I read on Instagram that you wrote “You don’t answer my calls!”

E: He has a problem with his phone, even when we were in Lisbon, we were there for Eurovision, if you called him, he would not answer and I’d wonder “what’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he pick up the phone?”

I: And how do you two communicate?

E: When he feels like it, he’ll answer the phone.

I: Fine, Fabrizio, how is the movie doing?

F: We started the mixing…

E: Mixing? Is it an album?

F: Movies get mixed too…

E: The editing, you mean?

F: No, the mixing, the editing is done already.

E: The audio mixing? Ah right, right.

F: Yes, the audio. We started this week and I think that by the end of May we’ll be done with this whole project and I’ll get a break because this has been quite stressing. It started in May, last year, and we’re finishing now, so I’d like to have some time for new songs, also with Ermal’s help, I’ve already asked him.

E: And in the meantime, he’ll move houses again. He did not tell me but I’m sure he’s going to do it again.

I: No, I can’t believe it, again? Fabrizio, stop it!

E: He moves every 5 months. What’s your problem with the houses you buy bro? What’s the matter? You buy and sell, buy and sell…

I: He’s soon going to get a Guinnes World Record

E: It’s always the same [house], he buys it and sells it, buys it and sells it…

I: For real, Fabrizio, thank you! Thank you for being with us!

E: No, wait, wait! Don’t hang up on him, look at him, he’s suffering.

I: Where are you? What position is that?

E: Otherwise he might feel lonely, he’s a panda cub.

F: I’m in the house that I’ve just sold.

E: [laughing] See? I knew it!

I: I can’t believe it!

E: He does it every year! It’s incredible! He does so every year, this kid can find no rest. But it’s better like this, bro.

F: I’ll be waiting for you!

I: We’ll wait here for you too, as soon as possible

E: Let’s do this: I’ll come to you and you’ll come here, and, still, we’ll end up not seeing each other.

I: Bye Fabrizio!

F: Bye, I’ll wait for you!

E: Bye brother, love you!

F: Bye Ermal!

E: Bye!

[tyrannuspitch]

been reading abt this one genetic study and it is rlly interesting but also bc using modern genetics to infer stuff abt history is something i'm Aware you have to be Cautious of it does kind of result in me having Knowledge that i don't feel entirely comfortable thinking of as Knowledge. which is a v weird state of mind. esp when some of the original phrasing was already really cautiously vague.

(cut to ramble abt boring things i am in no way qualified to teach)

like okay time to ramble: i found it bc as part of a long slowburn identity crisis i got rlly frustrated with what little i know of history & not having a clue where to place myself in it - like, england has had so many different waves of migration and changes of regime, and also aristocracy-focused history isn't always good at even distinguishing between those, and if we don't even know which of those groups we're descended from... do we know anything??? (eg: fucking druids wld be talking abt The Old Ways and i'd be sitting here like. okay even if you weren't glorified wiccans, are they "the Old Ways"? are they??? is that our history or someone else's entirely? like, literally, i don't have any particular interest in doing this, but if i theoretically WERE to try and return to the religion of my prechristian ancestors, should i reconstruct druidry or heathenry or smthn else entirely?)

SO i basically wanted to ask how much, if at all, are the modern english descended from the various groups who have lived here. Who The Fuck Actually Are We

and i did basically get a cautious answer! (after finding better scicomm than the fucking guardian, which didn't even take enough care to clearly separate "english and cornish" from "british". fuck the guardian.) the actual conclusions we can pretty safely draw re: this question are:

1. the modern english have a v high level of similarity with other peoples of the uk (the study said "british isles" but roi was not counted), much of which appears to be v ancient dna, which means the genetic evidence directly contradicts the old theory that the anglo-saxons completely displaced/wiped out the britons of england. which is nice. love when my ancestors do not commit genocide on my other ancestors

2. the genetic "clusters" in england and cornwall showed a significant minority of dna (less as you travel north) theorised to be anglo-saxon - "between 10% and 40%". which, like i was saying, is both Information and Non Information. "congratulations participants, you're helping our understanding of history evolve bc you're def partly descended from the ancient britons but you also appear to have some anglo-saxon ancestry!" "oh cool. how much?" "oh you know... some". i know it doesn't matter in the real world but sjfkflshlk damn historic population geneticists u live like this? (they weren't even saying "25% +/- 15%". didn't even give us an average. just like. somewhere in this range lol)

(okay actually i am in Explaining Mode so here goes. afaict part of the problem is they're not even sure which common ancestry to be counting. only clusters in england/cornwall have any northern german common ancestry, but everyone in the uk has danish common ancestry - BUT the danish dna is significantly higher than average in groups w n.german dna. so the problem is: what's ancient, what's anglo-saxon, could any of it be viking? we just don't know.)

(they might have been able to tell by dating it but idk if they tried. and also some of their other dating was coming out Wonky - eg iirc the n.german dna is mostly dated to abt 300 years after anglo-saxon migration ended. so what's going on? did the two communities just take a v long time to integrate, or is something afoot?)

(also, of course - england is pretty genetically homogenous but there is still Some variety by region in this genetic component so making a sweeping statement abt "the english" is hard.)

3. there is a Mystery ComponentTM that makes up a larger segment than the alleged anglo-saxon dna, is found in england, scotland and northern ireland BUT not wales (so it's not just Basic British Ingredients), and matches northern france? i think they're guessing prehistoric migration for that. idk if they dated it. Hmmmm. ~Mystery DNA~

4. methodological info if you're concerned: they used participants from rural areas whose grandparents had all been born in the 50mile radius from them, so region-specific info should be p trustworthy, and the sample size was over 2000. they also found their "clusters" algorithmically and then plotted them back onto the map, so there shouldn't be confirmation bias there.)

(if i *were* to complain, looking at their map... scotland and wales have some gaps in them. some significant gaps.)

5. smthn we might genuinely be concerned abt in the analysis of these results - are we taking the results from places we know to have a historical migration as more meaningful than those we don't? looking at the results shows me every single cluster has a small but significant portion of common ancestry with modern belgium, maybe 1/12. (i'm looking at blurry pie charts, that's my best guess lol.) no analysis i've read has mentioned it.

on the other hand - idk anything abt the history of belgium but i wld not be at all surprised if their genetics were basically somewhere between germany and france, and we've already discussed both those places.

plus, possibly more relevantly - they DID scan for similarities with various other countries in europe and didn't find them. eg, no signficant/detectable common ancestry with the finnish. so if it's showing up at all, let alone as 10% or more, it's more than just random noise.

so it's knowledge but it's not knowledge but it's /more/ knowledge than not knowledge? yeah. i'm having a great time

6. assorted fun(?) facts for those who made it this far:

-the most unique place genetically they found was orkney (note: there were no participants from shetland), who showed ~25% norwegian ancestry, followed by wales, who as we remember have no Mystery DNA.

-the differences between cornwall and devon were minor, but they were definitely there and they followed modern county line p much perfectly!

-there were two different clusters in northern ireland and the west of scotland, but they DIDN'T break down into ireland vs scotland. it looked more like it might be a highland/lowland gael/gall thing. i don't know if they checked if the n.irish respondents were catholic or protestant but uhh probably better not to all things considered

-no matter how minutely you break down genetic differences, there is a large group covering much of england that is basically homogenous. you can tell genetically which island in orkney someone's from, but you can't tell the difference between people from north yorkshire and people from kent.

okay this has been a poorly explained ramble if you'd like to read the damn thing yourself it's this: https://peopleofthebritishisles.web.ox.ac.uk/population-genetics

nb that is their website for laypeople, i've looked at a few different interpetations of this but i haven't looked at the actual paper (yet? dk if i can be bothered going deeper. we'll see)

[purplesurveys]

718

If you lived in Bikini Bottom, would you befriend Spongebob or Plankton? Obviously Spongebob. I’m there to have a good time and catch jellyfish, not eat holographic meatloaf and make it my life’s goal to steal a secret formula. Do you have any bananas in your house right now? I think we still have some left. My dad bought a pack? a group? a bunch? of them so he can make banana cue and turon for my mom and sister while we’re all stuck at home for the meantime. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? Eh I don’t judge this easily since I assume tattoos mean a lot to people but where I’m from, line tattoos are pretty overused. They DO look nice and I get why they’ve been trending for a while, but yeah they’re evvvvvverywhere. Is it easy to distract you? Yes haha I have a rather quick attention span. Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? Depends on the drink. I drink my water from a glass but I prefer my coffee in a mug, that sort of thing.

What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? I don’t feel confident teaching kids just yet, huhu. It usually works the other way around: when I’m with kids, they teach me how to play their toys or whatever game they’re playing on their parents’ phone/iPad. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? We only have one analog clock. We mostly tell the time from our phones. How long have you had your television(s)? Answered this before but we have two TVs that are 12 years old and two others that were bought within the last decade. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I don’t care. As long as the end product is done well I can enjoy the movie. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? I know for sure the two family cars were bought directly from the official dealers. I think mine was a secondhand one. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother's name? No. I think they just liked the name. That makes me want to ask my grandma though. What is your favourite kind of soup? Miso is the only one I really like. Have you ever made your own musical instrument? Nope. What do you think of Leighton Meester's singing voice? I only know one song of hers and I reeeeeally loved that when it came out, but I don’t think it’s enough for me to have an opinion for her music altogether. I definitely don’t hate her voice though. Do you think you'd do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? Yeah, it’s my other everyday language and I’m a little bit more fluent in it than I am in Filipino. How long have your neighbours lived there? About the same time as us, I think. We all moved in at sort of the same time when the village was newly developed. Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? It’s not a very common name so it does feel a bit weird to hear, yes. It’s weirder if I have to refer to the character in third person cause I never liked saying my own name :/ Why do so many people seem to hate the Jonas Brothers? Am assuming this refers to the Jonas Brothers pre-reunion because I’m sure no one hates them and their new music now lmao. I think, simply put, it was because they were teenagers then, and pre-teen and teenage girls was their main fanbase? Most people liked to shit on that category of celebrities, even today – case in point, Justin Bieber, 5SOS, One Direction haha. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Fully Booked! It’s the most complete, up-to-date, and chic bookstore brand we have. The Fully Booked branch in BGC in particular is a partnership with Starbucks, so you can immediately walk over there to get a coffee and read after buying a book heh. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? I always have extracurriculars like org stuff, meetings, or fieldwork after my academic schedule so more often than not I’ll get home by 9 or 10 PM, which leaves me feeling exhausted as fuck at the end of the day. When was the last time you really needed to just let loose? Like two weeks ago? I was bored out of my mind being stuck at home so I chugged a lot of soju that I asked my dad to buy so I can at least be drunk while being bored lol. Have you ever been blackmailed? Kinda. There was a time when I didn’t talk to my sister and didn’t really feel well enough to reconcile with her yet, but my mom threatened to go to our class guidance counselor and expose me and ‘the kind of older sister I am’ if I didn’t make amends with my sister immediately.

This might sound sarcastic but thanks, survey, for reminding me what kind of mom my mother actually was during the years that were the most critical to my development lmao. I always need reminders like this because despite how our relationship has ‘improved’ now that I’m older, I shouldn’t forget the trauma she caused me and the fact that I had always planned to detach myself from her as much as possible once I’m fully independent. I can’t disappoint my younger self by keeping her in my life as if nothing happened.

Do you suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome? No. I keep forgetting what that means. Would you rather have novels based on your life or a series of comic books? Novels, so I’d be more interested to read it. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? I did a resumé when I applied for my internship. Did you know that they plan on releasing a movie based on The Smurfs? This survey is sooooooo old hah they’ve made a bunch of films on it already. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live underwater? Not really. Mostly I’ve just wondered what it would be like to be a creature from the deep sea, where it’s totally dark and most of the animals there look prehistoric as fuck lol. Have you ever worked in a bakery? If not, would you like to? No but this question reminded me of Harry Styles, aw :’) ANYWAY if I did I’d probably take up a job in the office, since I can neither bake nor deal with people on a regular basis even if one argues that bakeries aren’t really particular spots for angry Karens or Barbaras. What is your favourite thing about snow? I like that we don’t get them because it’s bound to make my first encounter with snow in the future magical as fuck. Is there a big personality difference between you and your sibling(s)? Yeah. I tend to adapt to new environments way better than they do and I’m definitely the most extroverted of the three in all aspects.  Do you enjoy decorating things with stickers? Hahahah yes, it’s an uncontrollable urge. I keep my stickers to just my laptop case these days, but back then I used to put stickers on my phone case, my ID case, clipboard, wallet, etc. Did you lose anything recently? Did you end up finding it? I lose my hair tie every now and then; my hair’s a bit short for a ponytail now so my hair tie gradually slips out my hair with me barely noticing it, so it always ends up in random places around the house. I do end up finding it after a while but it gets frustrating whenever I realize it had fallen off again. What colour oven mitts do you have? We don’t really use the oven so we barely use the ones we have. I don’t even know the color of it.

Why do you/don't you watch award shows? Because there are sooo many commercials in the middle of it, some presenters are awkward as fuck and I’d rather save myself from the secondhand cringe, and most of the time the choices for the winners are undeserving and end up pissing everyone off. It’s always easier to just wait a few hours and check the results on Google; and besides, the only fun parts are seeing what everyone is wearing and who attends to begin with hah. What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres as the new judge on American Idol? God this was a lifetime ago. I think I mostly didn’t mind it but I never did get over the replacement of the OGs Randy, Simon, and Paula. Do you ever do the exercises featured in some magazines? No. Have you ever watched What The Buck? What do you think of it? I don’t think I’ve heard of that. How long ago did you switch from cable to satellite, if you did? We didn’t make a ‘switch,’ per se. We had cable in our old home but when we moved to our current house in 2008, having extra channels wasn’t really the priority as moving already entailed a whole lot of expenses to begin with. That meant we only had free TV for a while which was extremely fucking boring, but eventually my dad got us satellite in like 2011 or 2012. When was the last time you partnered up with someone to complete something? I decided to partner up with Andrew for my undergraduate thesis in like August last year. Do you consider Lady GaGa's appearance artistic, or just plain weird? Artistic. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? I put a lengthy YouTube video on so I can fall asleep to the background noise. At least that’s what I do these days - I always thought I needed complete silence to fall asleep, but apparently that’s not the absolute case. What was the last thing you used scissors for? I opened a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee.

Have you ever used some kind of food as a facial mask? Nah I always just use Korean sheet masks. How many USB cords do you have lying around? I personally don’t have any but I do have a hard drive. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? I’m very satisfied with it and I’m glad I got to open up in college. Do you know anybody whose initials spell something? Sure. What is your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid? I’ve never had Kool-Aid. Is there a specific food you think NEEDS to be at Christmas dinner? My grandma’s steak. Would you be able to re-string a guitar? I wouldn’t even know where to buy guitar strings. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn't like? How I Met Your Mother, just because their fans love to make fun of and compare their oh-so-great show to Friends so much when I’ve never seen a single Friends fan make fun of HIMYM like ????? Why the one-sided, unsolicited hate??? I was always planning to watch the show and appreciate Friends and HIMYM at the same time but because the fans are so pathetic I just stopped wanting to watch it altogether. Do your friends have more money than you? Seems unfair to pit ourselves against one another when we’re all still depending on our parents’ money lmao. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Ate Frances has always had a very strong personality. Do you have more bread or cheese in your house? Bread. What was the last movie trailer you saw? Not sure. I don’t really like trailers since most of them give away too much of the plots already. Did you purchase any meat product when you were at the store last? My dad did. Have you ever been told that you have chubby cheeks? Well I don’t, so no I’m not usually told this lol. Do you know how to properly use a saw? Nope. Isn't it a shame that what Kanye West did at the VMA's overshadowed what was supposed to be a night dedicated to Michael Jackson? Hahahaha not really, I found it hilarious and so so stupid. There were a billion other tributes to MJ that year that went smoothly so it doesn’t really matter to me if the 2009 VMAs will always be known as the Imma-let-you-finish VMAs.

[thankgodforianflynn]

Sally and the Family Tree

(Narrating in First Person as Sally)

My Brother is a Squirrel

I am not

My Father is a Squirrel

I am not

My mother is mostly Chipmunk, but not fully

Why I am fully chipmunk?

...Oh, that’s right.

I’m a groundhog.

I’d argue that I’m adopted.

Because my own family tree

...Only makes sense when it needs to

That's the Acorn Family in a nutshell

...My Father is Complex

He is a Mobius Complex in and of itself

Is he the bad guy or the good guy?

Who knows?

...He’s my dad.

That’s all I need to know.

All I ever needed to know.

...So why then

Am I still here?

Oh, right

Sonic

...How similar are Hedgehogs to Groundhogs by the way?

...Am I hedgehog?

Or Groundhog?

Who knows?

I love Sonic

I Love Nicole

...I even love Amy, but, even looking at her is complicated.

Its like I fell in love with Knuckles’ Smaller Lesbian sister.

...Then why does she love Sonic?

Guy or Girl?

...Like I’d know.

I keep changing the answer myself

...I try not to look at the marks

They remind me of things

Things I Might not fully be prepared to deal with yet.

...Am I?

Am I ready?

I’m here.

I ask the questions people don’t ask themselves.

That’s my angle.

I’m the question.

Sally or Sortie?

Sally or Sortie?

War or Truce?

War or Truce?

I know several guys.

Because I’ve

...I would say

Nope

The answer keeps getting yanked from me

Almost all the time

I am a chipmunk, I decide.

...My Dad reminds me of that show.

We used to watch that show together.

Best time 

...Wow

I was actually almost about to say my dad and I had a moment

...We’ve never had a moment

Never

Ever

Ever

So why

AM

I STILL

...I’m the tactician

Always the leader, but, never actually the leader

Ever

I get funny feelings when I look at Sonic

I would never tell you those feelings

...

WOULD THE REAL ANSWER MATTER?

WOULD IT?

IT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK STUPID

RIDICULOUS

UTTERLY HUMILIATED

MY DAD WOULD NEVER LOOK AT ME THE SAME WAY AGAIN

...I raise my right arm

He raises left

I guess we’re sort of in sync.

I want to be sync

I want to.

With both of them.

But I have to remind-

NOPE

MAX IS NO FATHER OF MINE

WAS NEVER MY FATHER

NIGEL WAS MY FATHER

MAX IS A LIVING JOKE

...

I never wanted Sonic dead

But our link keeps changing

I would never tell anyone what  he actually was to me

THAT WOULD JUST BE SILLY

...Go away

I tell him

I ignore Knuckles

...I tell him that all the time though

Never actually true

AND

I HATE

SONIC’S FUCKING

SHADOW

...Nope

Wrong answer

He hates

Me

Like this was ever going to go any other way

‘Sonic?’, I wonder

Who was that?

Oh, right, blue and red hedgehog, with green eyes.

...He always has red copycats though

Sometimes Mauve

BUT

WHEN I TALK TO BLAZE

‘...Sally, seriously stop it. You’re scaring me.’

‘OH, WAS I? I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST IGNORING ME.’

‘...Amy goes first. Then you.’

‘...For the record, I think he’s more interested in his games then telling me about you.’

‘...Oh.’

Blaze sighs. ‘Wow. I need to keep the fire of creation alive.’ She stares at ALL THE ANGLES

APPARENTLY THE ANGLES WON’T STARE AT THEMSELVES

...Or was that an Anagram?

NOPE

...But, yes.

‘...’ Blaze murmurs an ‘N’ name, to some random third party

Nothing’s random about it.

‘...Scourge is a nutshell of his own.’, Sally murmurs. The nut jokes were back.

THEY WERE KIND OF FUNNY

IN THAT

ONLY A FEW MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY ACTUALLY SEEMED TO GET THEM

NO ONE GOT THE JOKE THAT WAS HER LIFE

She wanted to shove her younger/older brother down the hall.

...Where was she?

Where was she really?

Hell?

Was Mobius Hell?

...’Nope’

‘It’s Hades’, she reminds herself

‘Gonna stay out of the Hell trap entirely.’

‘...You know how Sonic keeps staring at your name funny?’

‘Like how he stares at a certain cop.’

...A strange outside party stands.

Just stands.

‘Where are the zones?’, certain parties murmur.

Both members have ‘Z’ in their names by the way.

‘...I just remember the hard times now.’, Sally murmurs.

‘...We’ve had some good times.’

‘But you keep making it harder to remember.’

‘THE ALPHABET ONLY HAS 25 LETTERS NOW.’

‘...Fine. 25.5. ‘Z’ is basically just an inversion of ‘S’.’

‘...What is a ‘sone’ by the way?’, Sally murmurs.

‘THAT IS THE OLDEST WORK JOKE IN HISTORY’

‘...Because he keeps finding himself in a PlayStation?’, Sally murmurs. ‘Even though he likes ninten-’

‘He likes NINTENDO’S STYLE’

‘...He has a way with Sega Stuff. His consoles keep breaking.’

‘...But, not Scourge’s. Scourge knows something I don’t.’

‘SONIC’

‘...Mario/Scourge.’

‘That was a freaky commercial, I admit,’ Sally murmurs

‘OH, WAIT’

‘BACK TO THE TREE’

‘...We don’t have lines in our tree here on Mobius.’

‘WE HAVE ‘8′s in between all our family members.’

‘...Bad joke.’

‘The actual lines are complicated.’

‘...What is the difference, by the way? 8. ...oo. Sadly, 0. ...But, there was no line through it. ////////////////////////////// THERE WE GO’

‘FEELS LIKE WE ONLY FILLED IN AS MANY LINES AS WE HAVE FRIENDS’

‘...Friends are family’, I remind myself.

‘...Then I wake up.’

‘THEY LITERALLY ARE OUR FAMILY’, I remind myself.

‘ONLY INSTEAD OF THE WOODS’

‘ANTOINE’

‘KEEPS LEADING SONIC’

‘THROUGH THE SAVANNAH’

‘OR WAS IT THE DESERT?’

‘I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYMORE’

‘...I do want to read those books sometime.’

‘Sonic likes dogs, but also cats, but seemingly never at the same time.’

‘See what I did there?’

‘HE LIKES BOTH OF THEM’

‘BUT IT HURTS TO ADMIT IT’

...So I remind myself.

To bring both Blaze and Buddy into the room

‘WOW’, I exclaim

‘SURE IS FORCES IN HERE, GUYS/GALS’

‘I BET INFINITE IS ACTUALLY BOTH OF YOU, BUT ALSO SILVER’

‘...He’s the reached the top’

‘But had to stop’

‘...And, that's weirdly bothering him.’

‘...Mammoth Monk?’

‘Whose that?’, I ask

‘I only know the Mogul guy?’

‘HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU AND INFINITE FUCKED?’

‘...’ Sonic get strangely silent and loud at the same time at that.

‘...Finn’s weird.’, Sonic admits. ‘Almost as weird as me.’

‘Yup. Sure is number one fanboy in here.’, I admit.

...Infinite looks at the sides.

‘Sorry, Princess, not yet. ...But, you are my princess.’

‘WOW’

‘I Didn't KNOW SQUIRRELS AND JACKALS WERE RELATED’

‘...They are.’, Infinite admits.

‘...I have an odd relationship with those guys. I think I was Gunner in a blast life.’

‘BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU MAKE GOES BOOM?’, I ask

‘...Not entirely. You’re still here.’

‘AUGMENTED REALITY IS AM IRAC-’

‘...I stare at the funny pink guy/girl’

‘Still not sure’

All four previous lines were said by my jackal cousin.

‘...Afri- ...Makes strange dogs.’, he tells me.

‘Ah, you mean the new ones’, I tell him.

Its our inside joke.

...Not that inside though.

‘I DON’T KNOW HOW HE’

‘...Dad? ...No wait, that’s Mom.’

‘I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT MY MOM-’

‘...Did I imagine having a mom?’

‘NOPE’

All five prior lines by him.

‘...I keep-’

‘I KNOW SHE’S A FROG’

‘YOU-’

‘...Stop looking at my triangles.’

‘ONE DAY’,

All five prior lines, by him, most-ish

‘...Sally? How much has my mask been going around?’

‘...’ I hesitate to tell him.

‘Once.’

‘...You don’t want to know.’

‘...We’re getting off topic.’

‘Explain the prehistoric us.’

I say.

‘......I have a weirdly complicated past.’

‘I’M SET?’

‘NOPE’

‘NEED TO GRAB MY BACKPACK’

‘GOING HIKING’

He says

‘...One day’, I tell him

‘So, Elias wore it how ma-’, I say

‘YOU DON- I DON- YOUR BROTHER IS WEIRDLY OKAY with wearing my mask.’, he tells me

‘BAD ELIAS’, I SAY

‘...Why does this keep reminding me-’ I say

‘DR. QUACK’

‘DR.’

‘...Doctor’, he reminds me

‘SO’, I begin

‘NOPE’, he tells me

‘...Which one? Four or Eight? I always get them mixed up? ...Or is that twelve?’, he asks

‘...High British, Mid-High British, ...Somewhere between England, Scotland, Rome. ...Possibly Ireland’, ...We stare

‘WOW’, I say.

‘ARE WE ACTUALLY IN SYNC NOW?’, I ask

‘...Correction. ‘we’,’ he reminds us.

‘PERFECT’

‘WHEN DID SONIC ACT’

‘...Canary glass’

‘So that time’

‘...He oddly knew what was happening.’

‘He hope he hasn’t left himself for good’

‘He keeps forgetting himself’

WOW

...Is this technically TWO PERS- YES

IT’S TWO PERSON FIRST PERSON

I Don’t Even Know What Is Happening Anymore

...’That’s Sonic’, I say

‘Wait, wrong sonic’

‘...HOW MANY TIMES’

‘SINCE THAT- ...So many’

‘BUT, HE WAS MOST HUMAN WHEN SONIC WAS GO-’

‘Most Mobian’, I correct him

‘...Whatever’

‘You can call an Anthro a Mobian.’

‘But you can’t make it stick’

‘...Ah.’

‘That’s why I like Acorns’, I murmur.

‘...What’s happening?’, he murmurs

‘STOP THAT’, WE SCREAM

‘YOU’RE KILL-’

‘...Controlling.’, he corrects.

‘Eggman Tech works on Robotnik Stringy Theory.’, he reminds me.

‘...When is this game of cat and mouse going to end?’, I ask

‘THEY CAN’T-’

‘...They’re holding their breath’, I remind myself

‘FOR THE CURRY’, HE SCREAMS

‘...Does it remind them of catnip?’, I joke

‘No=yes=I don’t know=maybe=whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’

REALITY IS BREAKING DOWN WE REALIZE

‘More like taking stage left’, he corrects me

‘EGGMAN OR ROBOTNIK’

‘STAGE RIGHT’

‘STAGE LEFT’

‘CENTER STAGE’

‘...Egg=Mind=Power’

‘...Robot=Dumb=Asshole=Strength’

‘...JULIAN QUAGMIRE’ WE SCREAM AT THE SAME FUCKING PERSON

‘...I would personally call him IVO QUACK’

‘YOU TOO? ...No wait. JULIAN QUACK’

‘WHO QUACKED FIRST BACKED FIRST’

‘...Julian’, we scream silently.

‘TURN YOUR INFERNAL ROBOT RUIN TRAIN OFF’, WE SCREAMS LIKE STUPID FUCKING BIT-

‘YOU CALL ME’

‘HELP’

‘...Mordred sucks’

‘WOW’

‘MORGA-’

‘...Cat. Mouse. Box. Fairy.’

‘A FAIRY INSTEAD OF A MOUSE? WOW’

‘AT LEAST’

‘OH, WAIT YOU DID THAT TOO’

‘LAVALAMPAS STUPIDSADASDAASDSDA’

‘YOU’RE RIGHT, THEY’RE ALL STUPID,’ SALFINITE MURMURS

‘WE’RE GOING OFF THE TRAILS’, I SC- RETH

‘One of those days’, we murmurs.

‘...We’ll get them.’, he says.

‘SCHRODINGER CATS ALLWAYS LANDS ON THEIR HEADS’

‘,..Feet=Heads?’

‘What a strange hydrya’

‘SO THATS WHY ROBOTNIK SUCKS AT TAPDANCING’

‘...NOT THE BOX’, WE SCREAM

‘ONE DAY’

‘NOT NOW’

...The Eggman Broke

‘Julian Sucks, doesn’t he?’

‘YOU HAVE NO IDEA’, Ivo calmly explains to them. ...By screaming politely.

‘Bitch’

‘...We are, aren’t we?’, Ivo tells us.

‘Shoot us in the head’, Ivo tells us

‘...’ We shoot at their conjoined head.

‘...Bad Idea’, Ivo admits. ‘I was this guy-’

‘...Fuck it, I WAS NEVER AS BAD AS THIS GUY’

‘DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT?’

‘DID YOU’

‘...’

I unfuse from Infinite-Ultimate.

‘..Pyramid scalpel?’, ...Bitch

‘BITCH, YES’

...Am I  the real bad girl here?

‘...NOPE’, I realize.

‘...Unless you’re talking to Julian.’

‘... Never talk to Julian again’, he tells me.

‘PERFECT’

‘...Don’t we all’

‘NOPE’, I CORRECT HIM

…...I am the bad girl.

Whther

NOPE

I DON’T

‘I COULD’VE BEEN A REAL PRINCESS’, Someone murmurs.

‘...Let it fray, I tell them’.

‘...Sally, please just-’

‘I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN’

...We all stare at each other.

‘WHO SAID THAT?’

Amy sighs.

‘Julian was born on a farm’, we tell ourselves.

‘Ivo was born in the city’.

‘...The roaring city’, Amy tells IVO, NOT JULIADAEASEAEWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

‘,...They say Tigger is the most cunning of the beasts.’

‘They didn’t say he was the most braindead too.’

‘Julian’s Tigger, Ivo’s Whinny’

‘...We needs help.’

‘FUCK YOUR POLITENESS JULIAN’

‘SCREAM’

‘SCREAM’

‘NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU’

‘NOT EVEN THE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU’

‘SCREAM FOR US’

‘SCREAM FOR MEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’

‘...Carver Edlund is a bitch’.

‘JULIAN’

IVO SMASHES HIS KEYBOARD TO OBLIVION

‘Not your puppets bitch’

‘Never your puppets BIATCH’

‘...FOR FOGHORN LEGHORN’

‘THIS STORY’

‘...’ All Roboticizers break instantly.

INCLUDING THE COMPUTERS

BUT VERY SLOWLY

‘...In your head you’re a saint, Julian’

‘In our heads, you’re the devil’

‘Never let us get our thoughts together.’

‘Never let us create’

‘GO CREATE ROME AGAIN’

‘THIRD TIME IS A BITCH’

‘...I like the z names’, Ivo tells us.

‘BUT, HE, THEY’

‘ITS PART OF THE LORE JULIAN’, Ivo says like a most polite man

‘RASPUTIN IS AWAKE’, Ivo SCREAMS

‘WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL FATHER?’, Ivo asks.

‘...’ He didn’t know

Julian didn’t know

FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING

‘...I’m my own family tree’, Salyl realisays sadly.

‘Everyone’s left’...Julian says

‘...Julian farts and poops on the same desk’, Ivo said silently.

‘...Can’t believe he let himself het this way.’, Ivo says...More like Carpenter Ivo

‘JULIAN IS THE WORST’, WE ALL SCREAM

‘ROBOTS?’

‘MORE LIKE SHOBOTS?’

‘OR NOBOTS?’

‘GOBOTS?’

‘AUTOBOTS?’

JULIAN SITS ON AN ANTHILL FOR oo TIME.

HE KEEPS SITTING ON THEM FOLKS

HE KEEPS SITTING ON THEM

...Julian really is Snively by the way.

Not Ivo.

Ivo is pleasant.

JULIAN SNIVELY ROBOTNIK IS A NIGHTMARE

‘...colin’, the real Snively corrects us

He likes being grammatically correct.

JULIAN WOULD BE BRAINDEAD WITHOUT HIM

...How closely related

...Exceedingly, I remind myself.

...Odin can find his own way home.

...Exceedingly FUCKING DISTANTLY CLOSELY

...They both keep changing the family tree.

...Colin, stop being a bitch.

...KnuxKrag

NEWSTONE

NEWMOBIUS

WE NEED A NEW PLANET TO Live on

...I keep forgetting my gender

CORRECTION

THEY KEEP FORGETTING IT

I’VE WANTED TO TRANS FOR THE LONGEST TIME

BUT THESE ASSHATS

THESE ASSHATS

BOTH

KEEP RUINING

...McGee Alice

PERFECT

AN OPENING

...The tales of Sally Acorn will continue, once we finish writing the book

OUR MUN’S PINOCCHIO BY THE WAY

KEEPS FINDING HIMSELF IN ODD PLACES

...We felt wooden  sometimes

Hollow even

Julian’s fault

...Or someone’s

Starts with a S/Z/J/P/K/L/M/N/O/P

NOW THAT’S A TOUGH ACORN TO CRACK

...Julian looks at Mice funny

...Monkey Island 2

JULIAN IS THE BIG ASSHOLE

He secretly hates

...It was complicated.

Julian is God

...Julian is everything

INCLUDING ROBO-ROBOTNIK

EGGMAN WAS BEST TIME

...We want the EGgmen

...Eggman

All of him

...We knew he was still a kid at heart

WHICH MADE THIS PAINFUL

SOGODDAMNPAINFUL

‘...Zovi’

‘Go away’

‘...I’m his favorite.’

‘...Because I was his sally acorn all along.’

‘...Zovi HAS A YCH HERE COMPLEX’, JULIAN SCREAMS

‘NOT A-’

‘...How similar iss a *CENSORED YHWH/YHVH* complex to a YCH/God complex?’, he asks

‘Similar...But not that much’

‘...Was it?’

‘...THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT STORY’

‘...His life’s greatest work’, Sal tells us.

‘I’M NOT A SALVODORE DAHLI THOUGH’

‘...Sally was the best person here.’

‘I forgot how to be her though.’

‘In our rush to stay kids’

‘...Julian is new daddy’

‘...We stay away from the ‘M’ parent word though.’

‘TWO GAY DAYS FOR ALL OF REALITY’

‘ALL OF IT’

‘ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF IT’

‘...’ Iva stares longingly at Infinite space. And him too.

‘Kids? Play with your dads’

...She then asks the question.

‘REMOVED BY HOW MANY?!’

‘...Oh, Ivo. Julian. You Smug Prick Bastards.’

‘YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW MANY’

‘PARENTINGSDASDSOAJKSDAJOASJDOJOASDJOASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASDJO:ASD’

‘...Dio was our new daddy’

And I have Star platinum to think thank for it.

‘...’

‘...I love Squirrels and Cats’, Tells us

‘...And you’re both, Sal/Sally Acorn/Salva/Acorn Girl’

‘...Is Alicia’

‘NO WAY’, JOTARO AND DIO Politely say

‘...She can be.’, Dio tells us.

‘...I was her aunt’, Alicia tells us.

‘...Really?’, Dio asks.

‘...And, then She was confused.’

‘...I was her mom. Then her aunt’, Alicia tells herself.

‘GREAT’

‘GREAT’

‘GREAT’

‘...AUNT’

‘...And, then I skipped three generations.’, Alicia told everyone.

‘That many,’, Dio tells us.

‘...’

Max is silent

‘I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO’, He says quietly.

‘...Wood. Ireland. Scottland. Gaelic. Celtic.’

‘THIS FAMILY IS NUTS’

‘...But, you are my daughter’, he tells Nigel and Sally.

...

Longest pause longer long longity long shenlong pause

‘...I meant’

‘SO COMPLICATED’

‘SO COMPLICATEd’

‘You’d think pirates made up the majority of this family tree.’, he realizes.

‘...Maroc-ko.’...He pauses

‘THE ROBOT GUY?’

‘...Different robot guy.’

‘...……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..”

...We stare longlingly 

SHUT UP

We can fix it nothing.

The nothing fixes nothing

Everythinasddddddddddda

‘...’

‘ZOVI’S IN HELL’

‘WHAT ARE WE DOING JUST STANDING THERE DOING NOTHING ALL THE TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME’

‘...Nana best guy’

‘NANASHI IS THE BEST’

‘...But we can and cannot compete with him’

‘...Was everyone Sally Acorn’s Mom now?’

‘Please let everyone be my mom now’

‘Even Bunnie’s my mom now.’

‘...But, the entity was and wasn’t.’

‘NOW THAT’

‘WAs.’

‘Confusing’

‘I was the only one he wasn’t allowed to touch.’

‘...Even Nicole is a soft hologram’

‘I’M SORRY NICOLE’

‘I DON’T WANT TO DIE’

‘...Reality was bleeding us dry’, we realized.

‘...Entity foundation to nothing.’

‘...Which was something alright.’

‘...He is still the diamond in the rough.’

‘Still learning his way.’

‘...’

Sonic was the entity’s best friend/self/best self

‘...’ Sonic doesn’t want to die’

‘...’

‘...Abraham Acorn’

‘Abraham Acorn would know what to do’

‘...IF HE HADN’T BECOME THAT’

‘HOW LONG IS EVERYONE GOING TO BLAME ME FOR’

‘...I was and still am will for-never be the Nightmare King.’, Max says. The previous line too.

‘...Just do it’, Infinite said

‘I’M DONE FOR’

‘...Nanashi is best guy’, Infinite admits

‘...Where Qrow though.’

‘OH’

‘SO THAT’S WHY ADAM IS’

...Going to be late.

WE HAD SUCH THE LUCK WITH BULLS

ADAM MORE BULL FIGHTER

FIGHT BULLS

ALL TIME

BLAKE IS BITCH

BLAKE HAS TOTAL HORUS ENERGIES

...Salem Ultra bitch

GREEN RAINBOW BITCH

ULTRA WHITE GREEN RA

...She-ra

Cat-ra was cuter though

I’M GETTING

WE’RE GETTING

...On and odd track

Off and on oddish track.

WE KEPT  BECOMING POKEMON

...Perfect

PERFECT

WE TAUGHT DEMONS HOW TO 

BECOMES GHOD

AND POKEMANSZSAZSZSZZSZS

*CENSPOLLYWHANTSSEAESSEAT*

...I was reverting.

No longer.

...Family Tree bigger than Yssssdrassil

...Acid

Fire

Water

...

Acid is fire and water

DON’T ASK

DON’T ASK

...My Personality was me.

And not me

And so many me’s

Working in tandem

BETTER BUT NOT GREAT

NEVER GREAT

NEVER USE THOSE TWO WORDS

...Great but not bedhole

I mean better

...HOW MANY AUNTS DO I HAVE

POSTING

[cunyappliedtheatreblog]

Alumni Spotlight : November, Lenni Yesner (17′)

Hey Lenni!

Hi. How you doing Michael Wilson?

I’m good. You know, we were just talking, catching up, but I feel like we’re talking to a radio audience now.

You know--coming to you live from Court Square, Long Island City.

Court Square, Long Island City. That’s where your school is?

Yep. I’m just a few blocks from where I work at Bard High School Early College Queens, in Long Island City.

Could you describe what it is, so that people know where you’re working?

Yeah. I work for a public New York City, DOE, highly selective, high school early college. It’s a partnership between Bard College and the Department of Education that provides students opportunities to earn both a high school diploma and an associate degree in liberal arts, for free. And my job there is to help the students move from our school to their next institutions or to their next post-secondary plan. My actual title is the Director of the College Transfer Office...but I have recently been toying with changing my title to the Director of Future Planning.

My students are bright and really really curious, and weird, in good ways, and very stressed out, because the demands on them academically are intense.

What’s drawing you to calling yourself a “Future Planner?”

Well, I have a colleague who calls herself the Director of Future Planning, and I really loved it, because I think what I do is so much more than helping students think about a college that they can go to. It’s about sitting down, helping a student holistically think about themselves, what they may want in their future, what they want in their present, and to plan for it. I do a lot of coaching with young people around their future goals, even if their future goals are only like six months from now…or ten years from now, I help them map a path to that, or if they don’t know what they want to be but they have multiple interests, I help them think about how to knit their interests together.

And, I think I do a lot of “present” counseling. Like, using mindfulness techniques, using art and theatre, and social-emotional to help students stay present, just as much as I’m helping them to plan for the future.

So, I’m reminded--you’re involved in meditation, right?

Yes. I’m a peer leader with another MA in Applied Theatre grad, Denise Hughes. We are peer leaders of a meditation sangha or collective, in Brooklyn. It is called Love Circle Sangha and it focuses on meditation as tool for collective liberation, centering black, indigenous, and people of color, as well as queer people, trans folks, and folks with a wide variety of historically excluded backgrounds from things like meditation. And we use mindfulness in Thich Nhat Hanh’s tradition as a tool for justice work.

I’m struck by how many different tools are in your toolbelt. I know that in addition to counseling that you do at your school and in addition to what you do at the Sangha, you founded the Trans Generational Theatre Project.

Yeah. TGTP as we call it. It was me and Christian Hansen Appel and Amanda Thompson’s thesis project. It was a group of multi-generational trans and gender non-conforming people, housed at SAGE. I facilitated the first two years, and then when I went back to get a master’s in school counseling, I stepped back as a facilitator and went to more of an administrative role, supporting fundraising and things like that. In the facilitation team now, Christian stayed on, and Kai Pelton, who is a former CAT Youth Theatre member, is a facilitator, as well as L Tantay, who is an MA grad and Renee Imperato.

L and I were in classes together. I didn’t know that they’re on the project!

Yeah. So it’s still in the Applied Theatre family, which is really cool, as well as one of the participants the first year of TGTP, Renee, who’s an older participant, is now a facilitator, as well as another one of the other participants. Now that person, she stepped up as a facilitator. So, the facilitation team now is…it started at three white people—two trans and gender non-conforming people and one cis woman, all of the same generation. Now it is all queer and trans people of color led, and multigenerational. That was always our goal to transition leadership.

I didn’t know all that. I’m really moved. Congratulations.

Thank you. And the project has been awarded funding from the Trans Justice Funding Project for the last three years, which is how we’ve been able to pay participants.

Okay one last stop on this tour of things you do. What’s going on with music in your life?

I make music in my free time. I am a song writer and I mostly create for myself right now. I don’t have a lot of performance right now…but you know, keep an eye out on things coming down the road. I’m looking for some musical collaborators. Always.

Me and Christian collaborated on the song that I made to propose to Ivorie, my fiancé.

Um. So, yes friends. Lenni and Ivorie. QUEER ENGAGED!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah YEAH! Excited. And it was nice. The weekend that we got engaged, there was definitely applied theatre representation. Shanti, and Denise, and Christian were there, so that was great.

Wow wow wow. I was saying to you before we started recording the interview, that I’d just snooped on your social media, and so much has happened since I last caught up with you.

Mmm hmm. Graduated with my Master’s in School Counseling. Lots of cool stuff.

So. All these pieces, all these modalities. And there’s a person in the middle of it. What are the threads that run across these things that you do?

I think relationships are the thread. They’ve always been my thread. Relationships, in my counseling with students. Relationships in terms of the ways in which I use art and theatre and music to deepen relationships and explore relationships. Relationships across difference. Relationships that serve justice. Relationships that really center being accountable to each other and have difficult conversations.

I had never received an education degree, as being a counselor. I was just counseling from instinct. What I got from the MA in Applied Theatre was an opportunity to learn radical pedagogy, in the form of Paulo Friere’s work, and other theorists around applied theatre. It was like: I have these ideas about how I should be interacting with young people and with other people, and people I’m teaching and people I’m learning from, but like, am I really doing that? I got the opportunity to look at whether I was really doing that or not, after being a counselor for many years, but an untrained counselor, an on-the-job trained counselor. And so the MA in Applied Theatre was my opportunity to reflect and see, huh, what’s the actual framework that I’m coming from when I’m doing this work? And Paolo Freire’s work really has informed everything I do from there on. And Paolo Freire led me to bell hooks, and bell hooks led me to Thich Naht Hahnh, and Thich Naht Hahnh led me to—right?, So all these things, in terms of the through-line of, you know, my growing as an educator and as a person, has come from that.

And the process of how to ask really good questions, and how to ask questions that will elicit strong and creative answers, I feel came from the playbuilding process and learning from Helen, and learning from other practitioners. How a well-placed question in a moment can totally open a scene, or open up work that you’re doing.

And you know, I was able to come to myself as a genderqueer person, through the playbuilding process in my thesis. And [before that] I did an educational piece of theatre about a young gender non-conforming person who was stuck between two binary identities. It was set in prehistoric times, and instead of “men” and “women” it was “healers” and “hunters,” and I played the head hunter. I got to be in drag, so that was really fun. And I also got the chance to craft a story about a young person really refusing to be a part of that binary.

Through crafting that story, I was able to ask myself questions about like how I related to this young person, and realizing ways in which I actually saw myself in this young person’s story that we were creating. And through that, and other influences, really came to the realization of who I am, my gender expression, and my identity.

I was there for that. I remember the piece ended with this image of stars and looking up at literal constellations of possibilities for gender.

Yep. Yep. That came from a piece that was put out by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, “Trans 101,” because I was just googling trans stuff, because I was trying to understand myself, understand the piece...it talks about gender identity in this really powerful way and it says, “what if, instead of a spectrum, with man on one side and woman on the other, it was…where’s the space on the spectrum for a butch trans woman? Where’s the space on the spectrum for a sissy faggot? And where does that fit? Instead of thinking of a spectrum and lines, what if we thought of gender as a three-dimensional space, as a galaxy?”

I read that and the lights went ON. You know you have those like, turning point moments in your life? That was absolutely one of them, in the process of creating that piece. That wouldn’t have come without the applied theatre degree.

So I think it’s changed who I am as a person at the core. It gave me a place to unveil parts of myself, and it also has changed who I am as an educator. I knew pretty quickly into the degree program that I didn’t want to go the route of becoming a traditional teaching artist, but that I wanted to figure out how to bring teaching artistry to what I did. And I think that I’ve done that.

What advice would you have for a person who’s got all the heart and passion for social justice and arts and has no idea about how to start?

I think asking themselves, who are my influences? Who are the educators I really admire and whose style and intention and practices I respect? What are their influences? Setting up mentoring relationships with educators you respect.

I would say, figuring out the level to which you can bring your full self to your work. So for me, a lot of my strengths as an educator came out as I came out at work. Not just came out as queer and genderqueer, not just that. Came out as an activist and came out as an organizer, and came out as a mindfulness practitioner, and came out as someone who cares about consent, someone who wants to talk about sexuality and sexual health, financial health…

I would say, start thinking about what young people’s issues are. Whether it be black lives matter day of action in schools, or climate justice, or guns in schools, or lgbtq issues…figure out what are the issues that students care about in their lives…or maybe it’s none of those things and it’s something else…but, start reading about those things. Watch the media that they watch. Listen to the music that they listen to. Not because you’re trying to be them, but because the older we get, it can be challenging to stay connected.

And, have good boundaries. Don’t take it all home! Take some of it home but not all of it. Because you can’t get it all done in a day. And you’ll burn out.

Oh, and join NYCORE, which is the New York Collective of Radical Educators.

What, if anything else, would you like people to know about you and your work?

That I’m trying to be the genderqueer guidance counselor that I never had.

—aww, cutie!

I think that being in the Applied Theatre program and working full time was the most stressful times—I was one of the only people who was working full time while in the program—that was the most stressful thing I have ever done in my entire life. But, I think, like, it gave me a different perspective on my work and I was going to bring all that stuff I was learning to my students and to the rest of my personal life. It bled into every part of my life.

I think, you know, the program is a cool opportunity and not without fault. I think that it’s something to investigate, to what extent it fits in your life, and it’s the right fit. I think at the time I tried to do it, I was going through a real crisis, so I needed something, you know. But I almost didn’t make it, at certain points. I didn’t want to keep going. I’m glad I did, but I definitely got to the place where I was like, done.

Also, part of one of the challenges I had with the program is that when I was in it, I felt like I needed to do things a certain way to do it the right way. And, yeah. I finished my thesis a year after it was due, because I created a different timeline and a different path. If I’d tried to set myself up to be on the path everybody else was on, I couldn’t have done it.

I think that’s one of the big gifts and big risks of the program, is this highly scaffolded ensemble progression, straddling arts and academics, because one person’s timeline isn’t another person’s timeline, and there’s shame that comes when people aren’t ready to move on.

I think…the program is still a program within a university. If I’ve learned anything from sending students, particularly students of color—historically excluded students—when they’re invited into academia, some of us really flourish, but some of us really don’t. It can be a blow to the self, and a feeling of losing yourself in the structure of it. I don’t have an answer about how to alleviate that. Pain and beauty both.

I will forever be grateful to the program because of the relationships I have developed and the fact that the Transgenerational Theatre Project came out of it. That has impacted people’s lives in such a giant way. And it exists because we created it as part of the program and through the things that we learned along the way with Helen and Chris and Piper and you know, all these other educators, and with Herukhuti’s guidance [Lenni’s thesis adviser], and with the guidance and support of our trans and gender-non-conforming community who were part of it.

[keshetchai]

Question, do you have any thoughts on demonolatry? It is a path I am seriously considering and slowly researching. I'm still working my way through the book The Devil and the Jews, but what I've read so far plus what I've been coming across in my demonolatry research (Hebrew is a source language for many texts) plus still being very ignorant of Jewish traditions over all has me cautious. I feel comfortable in demonolatry but don't want to trespass/appropriate something I have no right to.

Oh goodness, I have….different takes on my gut reaction/answers. I’ll divide them into mini-answers!

Answer #1: [The most generalist answer about cultural appropriation]

If the source language for a variety of texts in something is in a language you don’t understand, and isn’t a heritage language for you, then chances are high it would be appropriative for you to adopt this kind of practice. This might not always be a hard and fast rule, but like…it’s a pretty sure bet in this case that a bunch of Gentiles who made a practice using misinterpreted and perverted Hebrew texts for their own needs and then continued on for several decades or centuries is just going to get you an end result of cultural appropriation/cultural perversion.

Answer #2: [The issue of Jewish appropriation & western Orientalism]

I honestly don’t know much about demonolatry, but from what I can tell it’s another spin on western occultism which was and is, at its core, appropriative of Judaism as an “exotic” flavor to be added as Gentiles saw fit. The whole “seal of Solomon” thing being appropriation by occultists is part and parcel with this kind of stuff, and it’s really really weirdly orientalist. The use of a holy language in Judaism (Hebrew) for this stuff is just….really trying to make it more “magic” seeming.

I mean some of these occult texts are what, 1500-1600’s? When you realize Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492, and the inquisition continued to try and make sure that converso Jews didn’t revert to their heritage faith – I mean it’s just more of the same obsession with perceived connection between non-Christian (read: Jewish and Muslim) ties to demons and devil worship/working.

But then there’s later stuff, from what I can tell it’s like a chunk of stuff 1500-1600 and then again after the 1700’s a period 1800 - Today (at least the bulk of this stuff is before or after the Enlightenment period in Western Europe) and…. Surprise surprise, a bunch of white guys being obsessed with the magical secret demon rituals of the “exotic orient” is undeniably connected to gross European colonial/imperialist attitudes. Another generalization: stuff written by dead white guys about the “orient” or “near eastern” practices in the occult arts are full of shit.

Thing is – fear of cultural appropriation aside – is any of this NOT fully enmeshed in orientalist imperialist western attitudes? And is any of it going to hold up to any kind of academic-historical-archaeological scrutiny?

Answer #3: [The issue of “All religions have stuff we can’t prove, but some religions have more complete mishmash based on conflated facts and made up stuff that ignores academic study on the originating culture(s) than others.” AKA the Academics of Appropriation]

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh. If the PDF I found on my google search of the term is a real source on the demonolatry issue, then it just lumps a gazillion different devils/Angels/spirits/goddesses/gods/whatever that are all occurring over the span of what is in reality probably 2-3,000 years. They have nothing to do with each other in many cases! Like a “devil” that has an Arabic name naturally occurs much later in time than a really early babylonian type language spirit because of the timeline of when those languages began and developed. I’m also probably the wrong person to ask - the very mention of “Lucifer’ makes my eyes want to roll out of my head because anyone who ascribes that to a demonic-figure misunderstood that it was a criticism of a Babylonian King, and had zero to do with any kind of supernatural figure.

I don’t particularly know much about Mesopotamian/Fertile Crescent/Near Eastern/Levantine paganism but I do know an archaeological/art history scholar who does study the prehistoric/ancient near east and I just deeply truly feel like the emphasis on near eastern paganism is mostly about 19th century Orientalism. I’m going to guess that a majority of the stuff discussed by demonolatry is riddled with factual errors, misunderstandings, and conflations that come out of ignorance of the region, time periods, and religious practices that took place.

I try to be respectful of the fact that different people find solace in different kinds of religions, but I won’t lie - I found myself deeply dissatisfied with the whiteness, appropriation, and bad scholarship I found across pretty much all modern pagan variants some time ago. Like it’s not just not cohesive/disorganized, it also just…doesn’t have any grounding in the actual historical reality of these beings/spirits in the faith origins any of them come from? I find most people in paganism/neo paganism are really interested in only very specific texts. Like they’ll read someone’s (European) grimoire from the 1600’s but won’t pour over Sumerian archaeological digs and academic papers on Hittite worship - because the point is not really these ancient/prehistoric paganisms but the *idea* of them - the orientalist *concept* of the ancient near east. like why does everyone talk about the meaning of the color of the candle you use for an ancient (whoever) entity when candles….hadn’t even been invented yet? I’m pretty sure that spirit doesn’t care because wax/dipped (dyed & COLORED) candles weren’t a Thing Then. You know? the rituals mentioning pillar candles for something that was worshipped in like 3000 BCE just isn’t based in any actual practice of the time because they didn’t have that then. It’s a tiny detail, but you could expand that to almost anything you wanted.

Maybe that’s harsh of me? But like personally I deeply dislike this kind of stuff because I find it just as intellectually dishonest as many organized faiths can be, except these people tend to publicly emphasize their ancient spirituality/faith predates “xyz”. But if you can avoid Hebrew entirely, avoid Jewish-Hebraic entities AND Islamic AND Zoroastrian entities and are just focusing on like….worship of things from ancient religions which just don’t exist anymore? I mean, I guess? Like just don’t….use anything that at all uses or borrows from Hebrew/Judaism/Tanach (or the Christian Bible). That might help avoid Jewish appropriation but won’t get rid of the orientalist lens issue.

Anyways….

Last Answer: [The: “I have a Mom of Color” aka “the comedic kinda” answer]

NOPE NOPE NO NAH NU UH sure appropriation is bad but do you know what is ALSO BAD????? Inviting spirits into your life that have their own motives and powers and minds!!!!! NOPE.

Why would any spirit deign to work with your ass for free? THEY WOULDN’T! What makes u think they’re gonna let you set the price for their services? THEY WON’T! You also can’t work with someone else’s spirits, you have to work with your own!

Idk man I was forbidden from playing at seances as a child, my momma literally told me to never summon anything because you don’t know how powerful it is and whether or not it wants to hurt you I compulsively throw spilled salt over my shoulder to blind any devils behind me, I have a hand of hamsa amulet by my door, I grow sage at my windowsill, I have literally been trained my whole lil Mexican life to avoid the devil even though my mom explicitly does not believe in hell or an actual literal devil.

Honest we don’t believe in the devil but JUST IN CASE…..

So uh tl;dr:

1.) yes. It’s got appropriative elements 2.) and Orientalism/racism 3.) also I don’t even know if any of the sources I found actually are true of the origins of these entities in any historical or academic sense which is a large part of why I think it’s rooted in Orientalism/fetishizing of the near east 4.). I’m like ethically (ethnically?) obligated to tell you demons are Bad News and My Momma Says I Have to Go if Someone Uses so much as a Oujia Board, Right Now, Immediately, She is Calling Me for Dinner Probably. (I mean I can’t stop you and have met satanists/lucifer worshippers and wasn’t scared of them personally, and I don’t even believe in “The Devil,” but also I ain’t white.)

Thanks for asking though! Sorry if I seem….idk unfair? I think these criticisms I’ve made can be applied to a LOT of things, which is why I apply them also to any modern paganism strain.

[kelhirt]

My Travel Journal: an adventure abroad.

Six months ago I returned from my dream; traveling alone to Europe. Though I wish my 2 month stint was more like 12, I couldn’t be more thankful for the time I had abroad. I realized as I was journaling to reflect on the year 2018, that my time in Ireland made a huge impact on my mental health and strengthened my resilience. I think it took so long for me to realize how big of a part it played in my life because I always wanted to answer the “How was your trip?!” question with the things I saw and experienced, not how those very things helped me grow or how they inspire me today.

On my first trip abroad with the high school history club to Italy in 2012, my advisor told us to keep a journal so we didn’t forget all the little happenings from the trip. Best advice I’ve ever received because I now have two journals filled with intimate details of my travels that probably would have been forgotten but are so unique. 

Though I won’t share my exact entries, like all good solo-female travelers, I am going to share parts of my journal. I want to do this because a few friends and family asked me to continue "blogging” while I was abroad and I didn’t, but also because I miss writing. Additionally, I love hearing people’s stories, so why not share some of my personal anecdotes along with some pictures? Because the current attention span people have is less than a minute, I am going to split my entries up so they are more palpable and easy reads. 

So the story begins...

I called my parents early in May (both of whom knew I was semi planning something) and told them I had a dilemma-- flights were crazy cheap, definitely in my allotted travel pot, and I had been wanting to go back to Ireland so bad. Doesn’t sound much like a dilemma they said...so with their validation, I booked the flight and cried for literally 20 seconds, stopped, asked myself out loud why I was crying when I was making my dream a reality, then jumped around. Huge emotional swing in less than a minute. Mid June I was set to go with a carry on, a backpack, and a general plan for the trip that would fall apart right when I landed.

My original plan was to do WorkAway; an international volunteering program where you do a few hours of work each day in return for food and lodging. I did all my research to make sure I didn’t need a special visa, and on all accounts, volunteering never showed that I’d need one...but the lady at customs when I landed in Dublin thought very differently. After 30 minutes of interrogation, showing all my money, holding back tears, and promising I wouldn’t do it, she let me into the country instead of sending my right back to the US on the next plane. I’m used to getting searched every time I fly, but this was a whole new level.

Thankfully a friend talked me into letting him pick me up in Dublin, so once I got through customs, I had a big warm hug and smiling face to welcome me; a moment of huge relief and sheer happiness. After a few chill nights in GaIway, I mischievously decided to go and stay with a woman I had previously set a WorkAway stay up with, who was as confused as I was about the situation. She ended up “adopting me” as a niece for a long weekend, so I hopped on a ferry and journeyed to the beautiful Aran Island: Inis Mor. 

The people I fell into the hands of  during the adventure still blow my mind, and Deirdre was the first on the list. Deirdre leads Celtic Spirituality Retreats and also is an outstanding musician.  In her essence, she is an extraordinary Irish woman who values every second of each day.

We spent a few hours each day painting, singing to the music, and learning more about each other. As we were listening to my Spotify one day, Dermot Kennedy, one of my favorite musicians came on and she seemed surprised that I knew his work. Turns out she is his aunt.  Small world-- Like is this seriously happening?! Check out this intensely beautiful duet they informally performed. After that, check them both out!

The painting we did happened in between morning meditation overlooking the Atlantic on a cliff, afternoon trips to the beach, hiking to Dun Aengus(a prehistoric fort) where they deemed me as a local and let me in for free, and getting lost in fields of sheep on evening walks. 

I spent the summer solstice with Deirdre and her friends, drinking red wine, watching the sunset, and trying to keep up with the folk songs that were being sung by everyone. Later that weekend we all met again at the island’s bonfire night and did it all again...this time I was more familiar with the songs and because of that, I got roped into an Irish jig. Following that, the ladies got a tour of Deirdre's newly painted retreat/music space in her shed and we ended up having a deeply emotional time with song and a circle of gratitude. In meeting those unique and empowering women, I gained about six Irish moms and a place to stay later in my journey.

A few days and a hot Bus Eireann ride later, I was in Dingle, an extremely charming coastal town south of Galway. The first night I was there I went to a local pub and enjoyed great live music and Irish dancing done by a guy who was on Britain’s Got Talent, which was obviously amazing.

I shared a large hostel room with two women. One of my hostel mates was German and a professional badminton player--not sure how I didn’t know that that was a thing...where were the scouts at the doubles badminton 2016 UW-La Crosse Intramural championship when my partner and I killed it? 

My other hostel mate was from California and we ended up having a riot of a time. Dingle is a small town and because she had been there for about a week, she knew many people. We ended up hitching a ride around Sleigh Head Drive with a local pub owner who also was a tour guide on his weeks off. 

Honestly not sure how this stuff happens, but he gave us a personal tour. It involved stopping for homemade baked goods, wine, and a few beaches for a swim to cool off in the hot Irish summer, thanks to global warming. When he had to go back to bartending, he dropped us off at a beach-side pub where we drank Dingle Gin and tonics for hours, making friends with anyone and everyone, followed by hitchhiking home with some tourists from South America. Then of course we had to go see the best bartender in town for some more gin, which made me a very nauseous lady on the 4 hour bus ride back to Galway the next day, but I made it and even got to enjoy my first 99; a plain vanilla ice cream cone covered in sprinkles.Very popular on the beautiful Emerald Isle. 

The days between my short trips away from Galway consisted of me spending time reading at Salthill beaches,  people watching at the Sparch (Spanish Arch), and wandering around my favorite city. Being back in Galway felt like I was at home. I think it’s pretty obvious that I am obsessed with Ireland. But what isn’t so obvious is the strange pull I felt to return and the connection I feel when I am there. I link those feelings to my grandma who visited Ireland many times, and whose spirit is strong inside of me and has been since she died many years ago.

My first two weeks back in Ireland were nothing less than magnificent, setting the tone for the next 6 weeks, but I had more exploring to do.  

Next stop: Deutschland! 

[winchesterandpie]

Son of a Patriotic Biscuit (Part 5)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1689

Warnings: None (this is literally just fluff, guys)

A/N: It’s hard to believe that there’s only one more part! You guys have been awesome, and I am so very appreciative of the reception this story has had! It’s not to late to be added to the tag list for the final part if you want, just let me know. As always, feedback is appreciated. Gif is not mine.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

This time when I woke, the room was a bright white that burned into my eyeballs, even though my eyes were still closed. All the same, it was much more comforting than the last time I’d fallen from consciousness. Especially seeing as I hadn’t expected to wake up at all. Gradually, I became more aware of my surroundings, but this also brought with it the pain from my numerous injuries, though I was definitely on heavy pain medication.

With a small groan, I forced my eyes to open and noticed Steve sitting by the side of the bed, wearing a  blue t-shirt and sweats. His hands held my right one and his face was pressed against the bed as he slept. The noise I made must’ve woken him up, for his blue eyes opened groggily. When he realized I was looking back at him, he shot bolt upright, creases from the sheets crisscrossing the side of his face.

“What were you thinking?” Of all the possible greetings, that was one that I was not expecting.

“Well hello to you too,” I replied tiredly and a bit snappishly, my voice rough from disuse.

“I expressly told you to stay here!” Well, now I knew where I was. “I knew you weren’t ready for a mission, but did you listen to me? No. You didn’t. And as a result, you were tortured for three weeks,” That answered how long I’d been missing, “and now you’re laying in that bed, and have been for the past two days. None of us were sure when or even IF you were going to wake up.” Throughout his little scolding, I stared at him indifferently, definitely high on whatever medication they had me on,  raising an eyebrow at his excessive reaction

“You are a sad, strange little man,” was all I could think of, pain medication muddling my brain.

“That’s all YOU CAN SAY?” Apparently, I had said the wrong thing, as his loud, angry tone clearly conveyed. “You almost DIED, and all you can do is INSULT me? The person who saved your LIFE?” He probably said more, but I passed out again at that point, half amused that he hadn’t recognized Toy Story.

When I woke up, for good this time, the super soldier was still the one sitting beside me. He was asleep again, and I could tell from the window that it was the middle of the night. Since he wasn’t holding onto my hand this time, I took the opportunity to run my fingers through his hair - something I had dreamed of doing since my crush on him formed. It was just as soft as I had imagined, so I kept carding through it, smoothing the rumpled look that told me how tired he was.

Several minutes later, I was almost falling into asleep when Steve stirred. I gave him a small smile as my hand fell away from his hair. Sitting up more, he leaned forward and settled his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at me.

“Hey. It’s good to see your eyes again.”

“There, see? That’s the greeting I was expecting when I first woke up.” I allowed my grin to spread wider across my face. An answering one slowly formed on Steve’s, and I was immensely grateful at being spared another lecture.

“Yeah… I guess I just… You really had me scared, doll.” He rubbed the back of his neck either nervously or sheepishly. Possibly a combination of both.

“I would’ve thought you’d be thinking more along the lines of ‘good riddance,’” I raised an eyebrow at him. “After all, you seem to believe that I’m particularly useless.” If I didn’t know better, I would have said that his shoulders slumped a little.

“You really think I would think that?” The question just slipped out of his mouth, sounding the tiniest bit sad.

“I mean, you’re always saying that I’m not ready…” I shrugged helplessly, not really knowing what else I could say. I mean, there had been the little moment right before I got myself caught, but I didn’t remember enough detail to recall if it changed anything. What little I could only served to strengthen the idea that he thought I needed looking out for and couldn’t handle it myself.

“You’re anything but useless, and I’m sorry I’ve ever made you feel like that… I just didn’t want you getting hurt. Now look how that turned out.” I tried to ignore my sinking heart - it sounded more like care for a sibling than anything else. I would just have to push my crush away like the impossible dream it was, but there was one question I had to ask first.

“You were going to say something then, before we split up in the warehouse… Mind me asking what it was?” I had to take a breath and steel myself for the answer, not entirely sure I would like it.

“You mean when you were tricking me into leaving you behind?” He sounded more amused than reproachful.

“That’s the one.”

“I was just… going to tell you that… that I… just that I’ve been… in love with you for a while now… and that I needed you to make it out of there.” His eyes were fixated on the floor, even as I melted at his answer, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, little old timing grandpa,” I paused before continuing under my breath, “with the body of a twenty-year-old.” That was apparently all I needed to draw his gaze up to mine, though there was a sadness there. I realized he thought that I was rejecting him. “Steve, I needed you to make it out of there. I knew what they do to people, and that you would be fascinating to them as a result of the whole super-soldier thing. I wasn’t about to let anyone else go through that, especially not the man I’m in love with. I figured that since I’d already survived and escaped once that I could manage it again. Or at least that it wouldn’t matter if I died.” “Wait, did you…?” His face scrunched up adorably in confusion and I had to resist the urge to lift my hand to touch his cheek. Mostly because it would hurt. “Did you really say what I think you said?”

“Depends on you think I said.” I thought back through what I had said, freezing for a millisecond when I realized what he must’ve been referring to.

“That you love me.” There was hope in his eyes, and I could see it - the same hope that I was sure had filled my eyes when he had confessed.

“Yeah. And I meant it.”

“I was worried I had imagined it for a second there.” He stood, and I tensed, fearful that he was deciding to leave, but relaxed as he moved to stand closer to my head. “It means I can finally do this.” Steve bent down to press a gentle kiss to my forehead, my cheek, my nose, before finally touching his lips to mine softly. All too soon he was pulling away and I heard a small whine of disappointment escape me. Chuckling lightly, he took his seat again, picking up my hand and rubbing his thumb over the knuckles.

“You fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, amped up, steroid pumped little man. You can’t just leave it like that. Get back up here.” My, oh my, I sounded like a needy five year old. To be fair, I had been pining for the super soldier for a while, not to mention the whole “almost dying” thing, so I felt completely justified in demanding a little more attention. This brought a real laugh from him, brightening the room a little more.

“There will be plenty of time. For now, it’s the middle of the night. You need to rest.”

“Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating, little prehistoric relic that belo--” I was cut off by his lips pressing against mine again. Smiling into the kiss, I moved my mostly uninjured wing to hold him closer to me. Eventually, of course, we had to pull back for air, so I took the opportunity to finish my phrase. “That belongs in a museum.” Smugly, I grinned up at him, wincing only slightly as it pulled at the injured skin.

“And here I was thinking that you loved me,” Steve replied, dramatically moving a hand to his heart as though I had wounded him. “Yet here we are, and you continue to insult me while barely pausing to take a breath between barbs.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if you leave yourself open to them. I simply have to take advantage of the opportunities as they come.” We laughed together at that.

“I suppose that’s true… Fair enough. You really should rest, though, alright?” He could see that I was about to argue, and continued so I couldn’t interrupt. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, and you can insult me some more then. How does that sound?”

“Spangles, I’ve been asleep for long enough. Besides, I… I don’t want t-to.” Sheepishly, I acknowledged my fear of the nightmares I knew were coming without saying it out loud, hoping that Steve would read between the lines and know what I meant. Fortunately, he picked up on my meaning, his eyes softening in sympathy.

“No one is going to hurt you here. I’ll chase all the nightmares away, doll.” He gently lifted my hand in his, placing it on his chest, over his heart. We sat there like that for a long moment, his steady heartbeat soothing my fraying nerves. “Feel that? As long as it’s still beating, I promise you I will keep you safe.” I nodded hesitantly, sinking back into the bed as Steve took his seat beside me again. With my cold hand in between his warm ones, I found my eyelids growing heavy again, and soon I was fast asleep.

Part Six

Forever Tags: @riddikulus-obsessions

Son of a Patriotic Biscuit Tags: @addictivewriter @barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak @wildestdreamsrps

Series Masterlist

[spratwurst]

I was tagged by @fenedhislasa. 'Ma Serannas ♥

Rules: copy/paste, replace answers and tag people.

a - age: 21

b - biggest fear: Alzheimer's, Huntington's, CJD, and all forms of dementia basically. Losing my mind is deeply terrifying because it’s the only thing that enables me to make a positive change in the world. If I lose that, I lose everything. 

c - current time: 22:25

d - drink you last had: Water.

e - every day starts with: Checking my blood sugar, 15 mins of stretches (or something more intense if the bs is too high), drinking 0,5 L of water, and then shower. 

f - favorite song: Not sure if it’s THE favorite, but Metamorphosis 2 by Philip Glass is special to me.

g - ghosts, are they real: Not in the generally accepted sense of the word.

h - hometown: Tiny city built on the site of a prehistoric village that used to be a station of mounted couriers' service in the 17th century. Medieval postmen on horses. Also twinned with Royal Palm Beach, Florida.

i - in love with: That bit full of chocolate at the bottom of an ice cream cone. 

j - jealous of: Nobody. 

k - killed someone: The mood.

l - last time you cried: I can’t remember. 

n - number of siblings: One.

o - one wish: That they would sell that bit full of chocolate at the bottom of an ice cream cone separately so I don’t have to go through the whole thing because I don’t even like ice cream that much. Also a cure for diabetes would be nice so I can enjoy my fucking bit full of chocolate at the bottom of an ice cream cone in peace. 

p - person you last called/texted: A friend who was upset that we don’t name black holes simple things such as Brad or Greg. I agreed.

q - questions you’re always asked: “How do you know that?”

r - reasons to smile: Honeybees make a whoop sound when they accidentally headbutt each other. (x)

s - song last sang: I’ve been humming Sera Was Never the whole day. 

t - time you woke up: 9:30

u - underwear color: Salmon. We’re not talking about it. 

v - vacation destination: Mars.

w - worst habit: Perfectionism, not giving myself enough credit for what I accomplish and not allowing the others to do it either.  

x - x-rays you’ve had: One for a broken forearm. 

y - your favorite food: Food has become the enemy. Who am I kidding, it’s that bit full of chocolate at the bottom of an ice cream cone.

z - zodiac sign: Gemini.

Tagging @sonador-reveur @frackenfrankie and @bite-that-coin if they want to do this. 

[infiniteconedrill]

Far Cry 5 review and other ramblings

My experience with the Far Cry series has always been a bit spotty, with nothing to blame but my tendency to get easily distracted.  When I fist purchased my PS3 in the spring of 2009, I bought all kinds of games in order to catch myself up.  I had just finished college, and had been intentionally starving myself of the gaming experience in favor of focusing only on my studies with absolutely no other distractions.  I know myself well, ya see, and I knew that if I allowed my brain to wander into game land, I would be fucked in terms of getting that important homework done on time.   During the buying spree I found myself in once I graduated, I stumbled upon Far Cry 2 which I had read great things about.  I tucked the game aside with the plan to dive into the experience once I was done playing the other games I was more interested in, like Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, and Metal Gear 4.  FC 2 always beckoned me, though, and I couldn’t wait to dive into its world.  

Fast forward to 2012, and several Dead Spaces later.  My video games were accumulating, and several titles I had meant to get to were still collecting dust in their still-sealed states, among them, FC 2.  I still looked longingly at it, but began thinking to myself “Hmm, the game is now 4 years old, and the graphics are going to look rough.  I’ve probably missed out on any charm it once had, and I’ve only got myself to blame.  Ahh, fuck it, I’ll get to it eventually.  Maybe.”  It made more sense to me to start playing FC 3 since that was the newest latest, and I had just been given the game for free to test out and review for the Amazon Vine program.  “I’ll make time”, I lied.  

Skip ahead yet again to early 2016, with both FC 2 and FC 3, sealed and snuggled deep inside a box behind my TV, untouched and nearly forgotten about.  Amazon Vine once again offered me the latest Unisoft release, Far Cry Primal.  Wondering if it would just become another one of my untraversed gaming terrains, I reminded myself that if I order FCP, I will HAVE to play it as the Vine program requires reviewers to submit their opinion of the game rather than making it optional.  This is exactly the kind of forced motivation I needed to get shit done.  Besides that, I was still beckoned at this point, forcefully tapped on the shoulder to hurry up and play this series that I had been blowing off for literally 7 years up to this point.  I received the game after a few days, and made the first step in actually removing the seal from a FC game disc -- a momentous feat upon itself.  I wondered if FCP would be much different than all of the numbered FC’s -- after all, FCP had invented its own tribal, prehistoric language and apparently (by what I had read) created a world that existed outside the bad guy/villain framework of the rest of the games in the series.  I fired up the PS4, and the intro began, thus beginning my adventures into the FC world.  

Once I began playing FCP, I couldn’t put the controller down.  I mean, I was really impressed.  What I loved about the game is how the developers inherently knew what gamers want to experience.  The game was great about giving you reality where you want to experience reality, then giving you an over-the-top, bombastic experience at precisely the right time.  Designing games this big isn’t easy, and when you can balance all of the elements in a way that makes gamers want to keep coming back for more, you’re doing something pretty special.  FCP didn’t do anything groundbreaking -- it was more or less a sandbox game with all of the typical open-world tropes -- but the little touches and peripheral details are what developers have to do to make the game stand out as unique.  For example, I was extremely impressed with the language created in this game, and how the characters all communicated with each other.  Not a lick of any discernible language is spoken in this game, and that’s a risk in itself.  The risk paid off. It made the story easy to get lost in, and I couldn’t help but feel I hadn’t had this type of gaming frame before.  By the time I ended the main storyline, I kept playing, hungry for more.  Unfortunately, Ubisoft never released any DLC for this game, so I placed it on its shelf and went about to other games in my library.  

So FC 2 and 3 still sat on my shelf during this time, and I knew FC 4 existed, though I was determined to not think about it as I didn’t want THREE unplayed FC games taking space in my library.  Enter FC 5.  The game gets announced, and for once, I am determined to order the game, and not only have the game on day one, but actually play the fucking thing, too.  I order the Gold Edition as I see that FC 3 will be getting a remaster, and the buyer will have access to all of the DLC as well.  I’m going all-in this time, goddammit.  Release day comes, and I download the goods.  I have read nothing at all about the game’s story, and have no frame of reference about the plot or characters.  I am ready as I’ll ever be...let’s do this shit.  

The first element that strikes me is the landscape, and its similarities to FCP.  The terrain is gorgeous and well-detailed, flush with animal life and vegetation.  I’ve never been to Montana (where the game is set), but I would imagine it looks and sounds just like it’s portrayed in this game, with eagles squawking loudly and rivers flowing freely.  Based on the surroundings alone, this is a game that’s easy to get lost in.  

The story is an interesting one, and I would guess that Americans in particular will be able to feel something sharp about its meaning and import.  The idea of a brainwashed cult is appealing, and the four bosses you must best in this game are all well-fleshed out.  Essentially, the plot of the main storyline revolves around some religious kooks who mindlessly follow the Father (Joseph Seed) while getting hopped up on a drug called Bliss in order to be more sheeplike in their mindless worship of a deity who gives them answers to questions they would rather not think about.  Sound familiar?  In the context of a pure video gaming framework, this can be as boring as you want it to be, but for those who choose to apply this type of tale to our current surroundings, the plot of the story has the ability to take on a hell of a lot of meaning.  

Once this groundwork has been established, the meat of the game is your standard fetch-quest type business.  An NPC will ask you to get something for them, you’ll go and get it, and they’ll like you a whole lot -- nothing new there.  An aspect of the game I really enjoyed that usually irks the shit out of me is the ability to acquire “guns for hire”.  Basically, you can recruit nine different characters to fight alongside you, and you can direct them to attack specific enemies.  The nine characters are all different in their abilities, and they even offers dozen of verbal asides to keep you entertained as you traipse through the underbrush.  My favorites were Jess Black (“nice pussy!”), and Peaches, the unstoppable cougar with frightening stealth skills.  What’s fun about multiple guns for hire is that they react to each other and comment to particular skill sets, giving the game a more immersive feel.  

The variety of guns is solid as hell.  You get all the typical selections, from sniper rifles and shotguns, to strange alien death vacuums.  The ammo is plentiful, and it’s easy to fill up as there dozens of NPCs who wander the landscape ready to trade with you.  The fast travel feature is great as well, giving you the option to go to any part of the map that you have already cleared out or liberated.  

The fighting in FC 5 is an absolute blast.  It’s intuitive and flawless, and I haven’t experienced a single technical hiccup or delay anywhere.  The AI is average -- in fact, most times the enemy will see you way before you see them.  The human enemies you face are more or less just braindead thugs yelling out shit like “I’m gonna kill you!”, but occasionally they’ll say something funny or unique.  The body animations as you shoot people is really cool giving the game more depth and realism.  For instance, if you shoot someone in the back whilst they’re running away, their back will arc and their arms will flail upward, making you feel satisfied that the scumbag making your life difficult won’t be getting back up.  

The voice acting is solid, and is sparse enough to not pull you out of the experience.  My favorite characterizations are Jess Black (as I mentioned before), Jacob Seed, and Joseph Seed.  There’s some real depth to these characters, giving a lot of life through their real-life voice actors.  

The menu is well-laid out and intuitive -- not once did I feel lumbered with trying to navigate an overly-complicated system.  

Of course, the game isn’t perfect, and there are a few things that could stand to get cleaned up.  One thing that frustrated me about the game is how chaotic the battles can get.  I enjoy organized chaos, don’t get me wrong, but FC 5 could stand to separate different functions by laying out the design a little differently.  Something that frustrated me is when 10 enemies would be coming at me at once, I’d have both of my guns for hire in place, and then my teammates wouldn’t do anything.  They’d sometimes seem to just freeze in place without fighting back, and this would be in totally open areas with no obstructions to their targets.  Also, when you kill an enemy, you can loot them, but you can also swap your weapons out with theirs.  Fair enough, but it can be cumbersome to try and position yourself in the right spot as to only loot and not swap.  When you’re in the heat of the battle, and you just want to loot and not swap, it can be rather annoying trying to do one action but getting another.  I can see a lot of players enjoying this type of unpredictability, but it rather bothered me.  

Another piece of the game that frustrated me was the inconsistency of the map tracking system.  There’s a side quest in the game where you have to go and destroy all of the shrines in Faith’s region, and if you get the proper map, you can see where they all are.  I was going through this mission, and about halfway through it, the map stopped showing me where they were.  Was there a reason for this?  I dunno.  I’m not sure if this was a glitch, but it was a head-scratcher for the tracking system to stop working mid-way though the lengthy quest.  

I did tend to feel myself getting pulled out of the experience somewhat by the meatheaded-ness (I declare this a word) of some of the quests.  There’s a quest where you literally have to run around collecting bull testicles.  I’m as immature as the next white male, but seriously?  There’s another quest where an inbred redneck requests that you kill four antlered animals and bring the roadkill back for him to BBQ.  No thanks.  There’s also a lot of boneheaded swearing in the game that seems superfluous rather than colorful.  I love to swear, but when every other word is “fuck”, it just gets boring rather than amusing or interesting.  “Fuck” in and of itself isn’t offensive or hardcore, it’s just juvenile and dopey if it’s not used creatively.  Then again, when one of the characters declared his son was “dumber than a box of shit”, I literally laughed out loud, so chances are I don’t know what I’m talking about.  I guess what I’m saying is give the swearing some context, motherfuckers.  

There are also some problems with Ubisoft’s updates.  I downloaded the 1.06 update, and as soon as I did, my Gold Edition DLC vanished.  I had a few weapons that were DLC exclusive, that I paid real money for, and they ended up just disappearing with the update.  Not cool, especially when you’re just about to take on Joseph Seed at the end of the main storyline.  

Despite these relatively minor drawbacks, the game as a whole is a blast to play.  What I love most about FC 5 at the end of the day is how fun it is.  That sounds simple, but redefining a fun video game in this day and age takes skill and thought.  “Fun” can be a balancing act, and a lot of developers get lost and what’s too real.  To give you an example, one very simple aspect of FC 5 I love the most is that you can sprint across the landscape without losing stamina.  One thing that has always bugged me about video games is a stamina meter, always tracking your level of energy.  It’s a fucking video game, it doesn’t have to be THAT real!  Yes, give me realism with the trees and cars and sky and water and facial animations -- that’s what we want.  But a stamina meter?  Fuck off!  This is what the developers of FC 5 understand the most, and that’s what makes this game so damn playable.  

But what of the ending?  When the credits rolled, I couldn’t help but think that a lot of players will have a real problem with the way it concludes, and I’m sure the game developers knew this.  Personally, I was extremely impressed with the way the game leaves us.  It was absolutely not what I was expecting, and actually made me think about its message long after I turned off my console.  How often does that happen in video games?  I think Americans in particular will have a problem with the ending given that there is very little, if any, resolution.  What will bother a lot of Americans, I’m guessing, is the way the game taunts the flag-waving, gun-toting, bible-thumping culture that is more prevalent than ever in the US.  The end of the game essentially tells us that no matter how much we resist, no matter the level of our intellectualism, and no matter the strength of our character as individuals, we will always be outnumbered by the braindead sheep, dooming ourselves for failure.  Now that’s a message worth chewing on.  As an atheist, this is the spin I give the game, and I’m sure a religious person will spin it another way.  The way I see it, the FC 5 writing team make a ballsy move in regard to the ending, and I applaud them for the decisions they make.  In all great art, it comes down to choice and interpretation, and if all people approve of the artistic gesture, then the message has failed.  Some people will hate this ending, and that’s nothing but a good thing.  Joseph Seed also bears more than just a passing resemblance to David Koresh as well, and I encourage anyone who’s never heard this name to Google him right now.  When you put games in the right framework, those emotional connections follow, ya see.  

So what has FC 5 and FCP done for me in terms of finally lighting a fire under my ass and inspiring me to play my FC 2 disc that I’ve had for nine years?  Well, I just purchased FC 4, and I’m about to download the classic edition of FC 3, included with my Gold Edition Season Pass.  I have removed FC 2 from its box, and placed it on my TV stand where I can no longer ignore it.  This will be the summer of Far Cry for me, and I can no longer put off its brilliance.  I guess nine is my lucky number.  

Final Score:  9/10

[purplesurveys]

720

WHO was the last person...

you spoke to, in person? It was my mom. She went down around 20 minutes ago to make a couple of sandwiches for herself and dad. The quarantine has made our body clocks completely bonkers and it’ll be typical to see either parent go downstairs at 12 or 1 in the morning to make a meal.

you called? I rang up Gab fiveish minutes ago so we can do a video call on Messenger.

that called you? My mom called me from downstairs the other day to reprimand me about something I said on Facebook cause she said it might offend some of my relatives lol.

you texted? I haven’t texted in a hot fuckin’ minute. I’ve only been at home in the last month, so there’s been little need to spend on load for my phone when I can communicate with classmates and family from online anyway.

that sent you a text? My dad. He texted me that breakfast was ready so that he didn’t need to go into my bedroom, which I’m highkey thankful for. My mom would just burst into the room, pull up my window shade so the sunlight can come in, and yell in a loud voice so I wake up. It’s never improved my mood in all the times she’s done it so I dunno why she continues doing it.

you kissed? Gab, but that was a month ago ugh.

that kissed you? Also her.

you yelled at? My mom. She was yelling at me, so I yelled at her as well because two can play at that game now.

that yelled at you? ^

you watched a movie with? I watched Two for the Road by myself last night but as for companions, the last one I had was Gabie when we watched Titanic a few months ago.

you ate dinner with? My family. We eat dinner together every night, at least whenever my dad is back home in the country.

you were in a photo with? Also family. I haven’t been in a photo with anyone other than them in a while...

you took a photo of? That would be my dog. I don’t take photos of people these days, mostly because I’m unable to.

you went to a concert with? I went to my Paramore gig by myself since I couldn’t find anyone who had front row seats like me, but on the day of the concert itself, Denise, Erycka, and Leigh (who were all also going to the show but got cheaper seats) asked to hitch a ride with me. Gabie was also present but that’s only because she was excited for me and wanted to be around for that experience of mine.

you lied to? Probably a schoolmate that I had told I was busy even though I wasn’t and I just didn’t want to work that time.

you invited somewhere? I think Blanch? I told her we should go to Ayala Museum once we can go out again so she can see the prehistoric gold exhibit that they have.

you dated? Just my current girlfriend.

you dumped? I haven’t dumped anyone.

you rejected? Uh... technically Mike. There weren’t any words said, no closure or whatever, but I think we both knew and understood that he liked me but I let him find out for himself that I had already gotten back with my ex. Back then I was still horrible at the confrontation thing and didn’t know how to break it to him.

you held hands with? Gab, over a month ago.

you hugged? Same answer.

you let cry on your shoulder? Egh, I’m only mentally capable of doing this for Gabie. I can let people rant to me but it’s personally not good for my own mental health if I had people crying to me all the time.

that let you cry on their shoulder? Technically it was my dog. But the last person was either Angela or Gab, I don’t really remember.

you bought a gift for? I don’t remember aaaahhhhh. It was probably a Valentine’s gift though.

you wished a happy birthday? Luisa.

that disappointed you? Some distant relative who had recently added me on Facebook then, only for me to see her pro-government posts. I never unfriended someone so quickly.

that stayed over at your place? Ralph, my sister’s now ex-boyfriend. Never liked the guy and am so glad they broke up, I never did like seeing him around in our house hah. that let you crash at their place? Gabie, but only to have dinner and work. that made you angry? My mom told me personal insults over a chore I did wrong a few days ago and it made me really angry. that complimented you? Andrew and I exchanged compliments when we needed pick-me-ups sometime last week. whom you complimented? ^ you thanked? My dad, when I saw him baking chocolate chip cookies a while ago after I had nagged him all week to make some. that thanked you? Mom. She asked me to fetch her something. you saw, in person? Right now I can see my sister on the couch. I think she’s watching an anime or playing some game on her laptop. that bought you something? Now hasn’t really been the time to ask for non-essential stuff, but my dad did buy me my requested soju a few weeks ago. that made you laugh? My sister I think? My family watched an online mass livestream earlier and my mom wanted to try out an American Catholic church after my grand-aunt (who lives in the States) recommended that specific parish. ANYWAY so of course their accent was very different to what we’re used to, and my sister’s fazed reaction to how they said one of the words made me laugh. that you said you loved? Gab. that said they loved you? My mom. you flipped off? Haven’t done this to anyone in a whiiiiileeeeee. you made a silly face at? It would always be just my dog but person-wise I don’t even remember anymore. that drove you somewhere? Dad drove me and my mom to the local columbarium last month.

WHAT was the last thing you...

touched? Other than the keyboard and trackpad, I used a spoon to eat some of the raw cookie dough my dad had prepared heh.

threw? Second day I’m trying to finish this survey lol. I just took the last piece of painkillers to treat my headache, so I threw the packaging like 30 seconds ago.

ate? Shrimp pasta that my mom made for dinner.

drank? Coffee.

found stuck in your teeth? Idk, bits of food that I don’t really keep track of.

cooked? :( Never cooked a full meal ever but the last thing I *helped* my dad with was breading the meat he was gonna use to make pork chop haha.

baked? Chocolate chip cookies two years ago. I remember it distinctly because I never bake.

bought? Man I haven’t bought anything in forever. I’m thinking about it and it’s probably something I bought for lunch at school? The only thing I buy is food anyway so I’m pretty sure I’m at least on the right track.

sold? I'm not much of an entrepreneur. 

took a photo of? My dog with a cold compress on top of his head. The weather is starting to be unforgiving so I’ve been allotting my own compress for Kimi so that he doesn’t feel overheated.

were frustrated with? My mom telling us we had to watch a mass livestream this morning -_____- I thought she was only gonna make us ‘attend’ the Lenten masses i.e. Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday, but it’s past Lent and she’s still making us do it. I’m guessing it’s gonna be routine every Sunday now, ugh.

broke? I don’t tinker much for the very reason that I tend to break everything I touch. That being said, I haven’t broken anything in a while.

spilled? I have a fear of spilling stuff because my mom has always reacted negatively to that. Yay for trauma!

tripped on? A piece of bone that my dog had left on the floor. It felt like stepping on a goddamn Lego.

kicked? My blanket when I started feeling too warm inside my room.

put batteries in? I haven’t used batteries in ages.

turned on? I opened my laptop to continue this survey.

turned off? My Nintendo Switch, when I didn’t feel like playing anymore.

wrote? A survey, if anything. I haven’t had to write anything ever since they suspended online classes.

wrote on? I think it was my sister’s notebook.

cleaned? Myself? I just took a bath if that counts.

WHERE was the last place you...

dined at? I’m pretty sure it was Yabu. Gab and I went out for dinner on the last Monday before the lockdown, didn’t see each other all week, then by Saturday when we saw each other again we just had dinner at her place. So it’s gotta be Yabu.

ordered something to go? A local sushi place and a local pizza place, a week ago. My dad was too lazy to cook that evening so we got takeout instead.

bought something? The local milk tea place that we have in school and Rodic’s. I got myself milk tea, and I got my dad my favorite meal from Rodic’s, tapsilog.

cried? My room, I think.

felt uncomfortable? Just the house cause I haven’t been anywhere in a month.

drove to? My girlfriend’s school and then her house.

had an appointment at? Eye doctor at SM Marikina.

went on vacation? Tagaytay and then we moved to Cavite the day after so that we got to maximize the time that we had to have a staycation.

hung out with a friend? The 30th. Ughhhhh I miss the mall.

bought clothes? Feliz, at an independent clothing stall at one of the top floors.

spent more than you had planned? Feliz then I even had the audacity to move to The 30th to spend more lmaooooo AND THAT WAS A MONDAY. I was so bad at saving money skksks.

saw a band/singer/musician perform? One of the local arenas in Manila so I can watch Paramore.

WHEN was the last time you...

told someone 'I love you'? A little over an hour ago I think.

cried? I don’t remember.

laughed? A few hours ago, maybe? I always laugh when I come across a dumb meme on Facebook.

left your home? March 10th. Really not a good time to be asking that question lol.

drank a soda/pop? Sometime in February when my org had an event and the only drink being served was Coke. I was extremely hungry/thirsty that evening so I had no problem chugging soda down, even though it was so unpleasant.

made your bed? This morning.

visited a doctor? March 9th.

went to the emergency room? I’ve never had to go to the emergency room except for the time I was being delivered.

kissed someone? The last weekend before the lockdown. Man, I had no idea how lame/sad my answers were going to be lmaooo I really should have thought that through before starting a “when was the last time you” survey.

hugged someone? Also a month ago. I’m not a hugger in the family but I do hug my friends a lot.

prayed? Sometime when I was 9 or 10 years old.

worked out? Last semester when my PE was actually focused on working out instead of a sport.

made a phone call? This afternoon. My mom got me load for my phone (after a month of not having any!!!) just because, so I surprised Gab by calling her.

answered a phone? Last night.

had an argument? A few days ago.

played a video game? A little over an hour ago. I was playing Mario Kart 8.

played a card game? It wasn’t necessarily a card game but last January at Rita’s place, she took out a deck, asked us to pick certain cards, and then told us about our relationships and the issues that lurk beneath it based on the cards that were left hahahaha. Of course I think the strategy itself is bullshit but Rita speaks well and is a psych student, so we still ended up having a good conversation after hearing the verdict for mine.

played a board game? Ages ago. I can’t even tell you how long it’s been.

rode a bike? Around a month ago. I told myself I was gonna learn how to ride a bike during the quarantine, but it’s been so hot outside these days that it’s so easy to run out of enthusiasm for it.

fell on your butt? I don’t remember.

took a shower? In the last hour.

took a bubble bath? A year ago, maybe longer.

watched TV? I asked dad to watch El Camino with me on my his and my mom’s TV when it came out, so that would be last October.

saw a movie at a theater? December. It was for Knives Out.

ate fast food? 3-4 weeks ago if I’m not mistaken.

ordered a pizza? A couple of weeks ago. We tried Angel’s Pizza for a change and it turned out to be loads better than Pizza Hut which tends to be our usual.

made someone laugh? I probably made a few people laugh off of the few memes I shared today, so there’s that.

sang? Like a half hour ago. Hayley from Paramore shared a clip of the band performing Hard Times to celebrate the song turning 3 and it turns out the gig was from their show in Manila, so I hurriedly clicked on the video and sang along.

played a musical instrument? It’s been many months since I last used the keyboard.

read a book? A month-ish ago.

drove a car? My dad asked me to move my car to a different spot sometime last week, which felt so surreal as I hadn’t driven in a few weeks. It felt so weird driving again and I had to drive in a crawl to get accustomed to being in the driver’s seat again.

went swimming? August 2019, at a beach in Nasugbu.

got a sunburn? Haven’t gotten a sunburn since I was little.

went to church or temple? First week of March.

went shopping? I don’t really remember but it was one of the last few weekends before the lockdown.

drank alcohol? Two weeks ago.

smoked a cigarette? Sometime in March, the same night when my friends and I went to BGC to party. When everyone else went home, Gab and I stayed for a bit, strolled around The Palace, and had a smoke while watching everyone else around us get crazy wasted.

threw up? Sometime last year. I haven’t drunk too much recently.

had a headache? Tonight.

had a cold? Maybe last year or a couple of years ago. I don’t get colds a lot.

had the flu? Probably not since I was little. I’ve gotten fevers in the last few years but that was all there was to it. I’ve never been sick and had cough and colds at the same time, at least not for a very long time.

had your hair cut? A week before the lockdown -____- Barely anyone got to see my bangs and I’ll always be disappointed about that hahaha.

dyed your hair? Never.

laughed so hard that you cried? I remember watching a hilarious clip on Facebook of this lady who had a contagious fucking laugh, I think it was a week ago or a little over that.

[vacationsoup]

New Post has been published on https://vacationsoup.com/diy/

DIY? How Hard Can it Be?

To DIY, Or To Not DIY

Owning a B&B requires a surprisingly wide skillset. Sure, you've got to be able to make breakfast (and beds), but apart from the other myriad of jobs including marketing, accountancy, technology, gardening etc, you've also got to be pretty handy when it comes to DIY.

The constant use of your home, bedrooms and bathrooms mean they'll start to show their age pretty quickly if you're not repairing, refreshing or replacing them on a regular basis. OK, you can pay a tradesman to do that all for you but given the prices some of these guys (and gals) charge, the cost soon mounts up. Ergo, the typical B&Ber also becomes a pretty proficient DIYer too. We say proficient of course, but that's not always the best description, as we're about to demonstrate, although I think it's fair to say that even the most expert tradesman is likely to make mistakes on occasion. Just ask the plumber who put our heating system in and forgot to cap off a pipe in the loft before filling the system!

As you may know, we've been engaged in our usual winter job of refurbishing a couple of our ensuites. In this case one involved replacing the old shower with a brand new shiny and powerful one as you can see below;

Having installed the funky triple shower valve and pressure tested everything to make sure nothing leaked, I was feeling extremely pleased with myself. This feeling of pleasure proved to be somewhat premature however. Those of you with a plumbing bent will note from the photo below, that the thermostatic valve (the middle one) doesn't yet have its securing collar fitted. Those of you without a plumbing bent will notice a big brass thing with some spindles sticking out of it.

That evening, as I sat in front of the PC, using another of my myriad of skills (looking at cute kittens on Facebook) I heard what can only be described as someone flushing the toilet upstairs. This might not sound surprising to you, but I knew we didn't have any guests staying and I also knew Helen was in the shower, scrubbing up after a hard days DIY. It probably took all of about 25 Nano seconds for my brain to work out that spending all day doing plumbing, followed by the unexpected sound of a large amount of water going somewhere wasn't a good thing. Instinctively, I leapt up from the cute kitty mewing on my screen, and dashed upstairs, only to be met by a scene that was initially quite hard to understand. On one side of the ensuite was the wall containing the shower valve, spewing out a zillion gallons of water, and on the opposite side of the ensuite was the other wall, where the spewing water was bouncing off. Given that I'd also taken up the floor to access the shower tray drain (which wasn't connected), the resultant cascade was disappearing down under the floor, like someone had pulled the plug out of a bath! Luckily the prehistoric part of my brain instinctively shoved my hand over the 3 inch hole from where the thermostatic valve had magically disappeared, in an attempt to stem the flow. This mostly worked, as long as I didn't move a muscle and pressed my hand as hard as I physically could against the pressure of the water trying to leave the valve. At this point I thought "OK, great. Now what?" as water dripped off both walls and swirled around my now, very wet socked feet. Luckily, I had my phone in my pocket, so preceded to dial the house phone with my one free hand, even though the movement of retrieving my phone allowed large jets of water to spurt from between the fingers of my other hand.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Helen was wondering why I wasn't answering the phone, when I was last seen sitting right next to it. A large number of seconds passed before she stopped drying herself from her recent shower, wrapped one towel around her body and another around her head, in that twirly whirly turban way that only women can master, and picked up the phone.

Upstairs, Helen's somewhat irritated voice echoed from my phone, but before she could finish berating me for not answering the phone, I demanded she bring the Vax up to the ensuite as soon as possible. There were two main problems with this request. Firstly, Helen's version of asap meant, only when she'd finished drying and beautifying herself and secondly, the water-sucking VAX was brand new and was still in the box, which meant extracting it from a million square meters of polystyrene foam and associated plastic packaging.

Some minutes later Helen arrived, still wearing her towel ensemble, carrying the freshly unpacked VAX and a bunch of plastic accessories which didn't appear to be of any use unless you wanted to remove water from strangely shaped orifices. After fumbling with the VAX for a further few minutes, and getting nowhere particularly helpful, I decided it was much more urgent to relieve the pressure on my aching arm by turning off the shower water supply taps, located at the far end of the loft. As I knew exactly where the supply taps were, it was decided that I should dash up to the loft and turn them off. Clearly this meant Helen would have to put her hand over the hole to prevent water cascading out and joining the other zillion gallons that had already gurgled off somewhere under the floorboards. Somewhat optimistically, we attempted a choreographed removal of my hand, followed seamlessly by Helen plugging the hole with hers. The first part went really well as I removed my hand, exactly as planned. That's when things went downhill somewhat. It wasn't so much that Helen didn't shove her hand over the hole immediately, but the half second delay allowed the full force of the water to burst forth, soaking us both before joining the river we'd already created. Helen bravely struggled against the water, but it continued to spray in all directions between the fingers of her small and dainty hand. Fortunately I observed her lack of success before I dashed up to the loft so I removed her hand (followed by another torrent) and shoved mine back where it had been previously. At this point I was getting physically exhausted from pressing against the force of the water so requested (ok, ordered) Helen to get into the loft and turn off the effing water! "I just need to get dressed first" she shouted, to which I suggested that wandering downstairs whilst I waited for her to dry her hair, find something to wear then wander back up again was probably going to take a tad too long. In response to my calm and reasonable questioning, she marched out of the ensuite in her towels, which were by now looking slightly less mystical, and attempted to get into the loft.

The first thing you should know about the loft, is that the hatch and ladder were put in by me. This means I am fully conversant with its little foibles. Helen unfortunately isn't au fait with the ladder that drops down and tries to smash you in the head when you open the hatch, nor the latch mechanism that stabs you in the back when you're climbing the ladder, if you don't put it in exactly the right position. As such, by the time she'd managed to get into the loft, she'd barely escaped from being rendered unconscious by the ladder, but had been gouged in the back by the latch, which also removed the towel covering her modesty. The twirly whirly turban towel still remained intact on her head though! After a small amount of naked stomping around Helen yelled something unintelligible down to me in the ensuite. "What?!" I yelled "I'VE TURNED THE WATER OFF! she bellowed. Still not really hearing her, I shouted back "TURN THE EFFING WATER OFF!!" Her next reply I did hear. "I'VE TURNED THE EFFING WATER OFF. STOP SHOUTING AT ME BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I'VE GOT A TOWEL ON MY HEAD!!

I have to admit I felt a small amount of joy on removing my hand from the shower valve, even though I was left with a nice circular imprint of it in the centre of my palm. As I stood there, surrounded by the drip, drip of water, Helen disappeared downstairs. Again my joy was somewhat short-lived as the fire alarm went off, deafening me with its incessant wailing.

Meanwhile Helen was downstairs discovering where all the water had gone. As I already had the buckets upstairs she was armed with various bowls, cups and other inappropriate vessels attempting to catch the multiple columns of water emerging through the ceiling from the ensuite above. There was a particularly large column emerging from the main light (which as still on), various smaller ones coming from invisible holes in the ceiling and another larger one coming out the bottom of the smoke detector, which is connected to the fire alarm!

The fact that all this happened the day after we'd painted said ceiling, and that all our worldly goods were piled below the emerging water because we were also having the carpets replaced means that I may just remember to fit the retaining collar on shower valves in future. If I don't, I'm sure Helen will remind me 🙂

Still, we've still got a couple of weeks to go before we reopen. It will all look lovely by then 🙂