#this is honestly the best crack video i have ever seen

[giuseppe-yuki]

snake expert

pierre gasly x snake shapeshifter! reader

w.c.: 1.5k

warnings: a few cuss words

part of my shapeshifting!reader series

summary: when did pierre gain so much knowledge on snakes?

picture credits from pinterest :)

“go, go quick!” pierre whispers, holding in a giggle. he holds his arm an inch above the floor, letting you slither onto the ground smoothly. the rossa corsa walls of the ferrari motorhome clash against the alpine blue of pierre’s team kit. he gone through extreme lengths to sneak into the motorhome with you because approximately half an hour ago, he had formulated a plan to prank charles. he knew his best friend hated snakes, so like best friends do, he convinced you to sneak into charles’ drivers room to scare the living shit out of him. 

you slithered against the wall, trying your best to camouflage in the shadows while pierre tiptoed towards charles’ room- rather conspicuously with his blue team kit, you might add. it was honestly mind-blowing how a ferrari team member hadn’t passed by the hallway and seen pierre. he continued tiptoing towards your final destination, with a wide grin plastered on his face and his phone out with the camera app pulled up.

when you arrived at charles’ door, you waited for pierre to crack it open before slithering in. charles’ drivers room was split up into two rooms, with the one near the door containing all his racing gear and his f1 sim while the room in the back containing a bed, desk, and massage table. it was separated by a thin sliding door. pierre had been there dozens of times, so he walked in like he owned the place and set up his tripod in front of the door. you could hear charles’ voice speaking in rapid french through the door; probably talking to someone. when pierre gave you the nod, you wedged yourself through the crack in the sliding door and into the second room.

charles was sat on his ferrari-themed bedspread, back facing towards you. he was wearing his team kit along with the possibly ugliest pair of jeans you have ever seen, and in his hands was a hedgehog, listening intently to him talk on about something- probably ferrari’s shit strategies. taking advantage of his preoccupied attention, you continue your climb up his bedspread and towards him. when he spots you coming towards him, his eyes immediately widen in fear and with his quick reaction skills, absolutely propels his entire body the opposite direction of you. the hedgehog (his girlfriend probably, you deduce) that he was holding flies out of his hands but luckily lands softly on the covers of his bed. 

“mon dieu! a-a-a snake!!!” he screams, about to bolt out of the room. 

from the sliding door, your boyfriend bursts out laughing. he had slid the door open when you were climbing up charles’ bedspread and gotten a 4k ultrahd video of charles reaction. 

“mate, you screamed so loud, i thought my eardrums exploded,” pierre says, bent over laughing. “and i don’t think your girlfriend appreciates being thrown across the room like that!” 

you look back towards the direction of the hedgehog, and sure enough, sits a girl in a gorgeous floral babydoll dress with her arms crossed in front of her chest, pouting at charles. “i can’t believe you just punted me like that, mon cheri!” she says, even though you can tell it has a hint of teasing laced into it. charles quickly crosses the room to console his girlfriend, all the while glaring at pierre.

“mate, i fucking hate you,” charles spits out towards pierre, “i swear to god i’m gonna get you back one day!” 

you turn back into your original form as well, giggling as you climb off charles’ bed. “that was funny, i’m not going to lie.” once off the bed, you reach your hand out and introduce yourself to charles’ girlfriend. “hey, nice to meet you! i’m sorry i made your boyfriend fling you onto the bed.”

she laughs, “it’s nice to meet you too.” gesturing to charles, who is now chatting to pierre on the other side of the room, she continues,” i think you affected him much more than he affected me! i swear i felt his heart skip a beat when you scared him!” 

half an hour later, pierre walks out of charles’ driver room, now armed with one blackmail video, 3 cans of celcius, and you coiled up around one of his arms. “that was really funny baby, we should totally do that to yuki!” pierre exclaims. 

before you can respond, oliver bearman turns the corner of the ferrari motorhome. “pierre gasly?” he says, mouth gaping. “what are you doing here? were you stealing celsiuses from the ferrari motorhome?” 

caught off guard, your boyfriend stutters out a response. “n-n-no! um- i was just visiting charles and wishing him good luck for the race later today!”

ollie nods understandingly, but then his eyes widen as he spots you, “ wait, how about the literal six feet snake on your arm? i just heard you call it baby???” 

“er- yeah about that…um yeah thats like- her name…kind of?” pierre stammers, scratching his head and giving a convincing half-smile. you flick out your tongue, hissing a little for good measure. 

“oh, um, okay,” ollie says. “you should probably go though, i don’t want reporters accusing you of breaking and entering the ferrari motorhome.”

pierre nods, and starts walking to the alpine garage. 

when you and pierre arrive, its like a bomb went off in the alpine motorhome. there are engineers in every square inch of garage space trying to fix up the car in time for the prix, strategists typing away on the computers, cameramen fixing up their camera wires, reporters shuffling through prompt papers, and car parts lying everywhere. jack doohan is standing the corner of the room scrolling on his phone, and ocon is cleaning his helmet on a counter with what you’re pretty sure is a flying squirrel clutched to one of his wrists. 

pierre had talked to you before about setting up a snake enclosure in the alpine garage, so you could be more comfortable watching his race, while also having the benefit of not being bombarded by the media spotlight. 

he seeks out one of his alpine assistants, and explains his plan to him. “hey man, i really think that we should set up a snake terrarium for my snake here.” he points to you curled around his arm, like you weren’t already quite obviously out of place in a setting like the alpine garage. “she’s really, really important to me and i will be bringing her every race weekend with me, so it would be great if we could set up an area for her to chill at every prix this year?” 

his assistant gapes at him, mouth open. “so let me get this straight, you’re bringing this snake to every grand prix? is it like, your emotional support animal like yuki’s bunny? does it attack bad people who get near you?”

“yuki’s what??” pierre exclaims. “when did yuki get a emotional support bunny? and no? my snake does not attack people…well actually it might scare them occasionally,” he admits, thinking of his prank on charles. “anyways, this snake is just extremely important to me,” he finishes. 

you roll your eyes internally. of course your boyfriend doesn’t know about yuki’s “emotional support bunny”/ attack bunny/ girlfriend. he was busy plotting his prank on charles while you went and had brunch with yuki’s really nice girlfriend (she had explained to you that she apparently only shows her mean side if somebody tries to hurt her or her boyfriend). maybe you could plan a double date dinner so everyone could catch up on the latest news? you had heard yuki was a great cook.

you are snapped out of your thoughts by pierre when he places you on the counter next to race suit and helmet. it is like he is in his own world as he explains the high level details of how he wants your snake terrarium designed to the assistant, who is now joined by an engineer who you suppose is going to be designing the terrarium itself. he waves his hands animately as he explains. 

“-at least forty gallons! not thirty, not twenty, not even ten gallons! it needs to be big enough for her or else she will feel cramped. for the heating, make sure to use under tank heating pads. do NOT buy the overhead habitat bulbs- those stress my snakes out. also, make sure it only heats half of the tank and not the whole thing, because it is good for snakes to have a range of temperatures to chose from. i know my baby really well, and i know that she likes the temperature exactly at 27-29 C on one side and 32 C on the other. the humidity in the cage MUST be at the right level too.”

both the assistant and engineer stare at pierre, a look of amazement on both of their faces. “damn pierre,” the engineer says, shaking her head. “when did you learn so much about snakes? won’t your girlfriend get jealous that you're going to have a giant terrarium built for your snake but nothing for her?”

taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin @ale-522 @formula1-motogpfan @aceyalonso @my0hmary @mbappebby

[hbyrde36]

Inspired by this TikTok

I wrote this instead of everything else I should be working on, enjoy! 😂

Rating: G | WC: 2494 | AO3

Eddie took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally for the night ahead as he walked up the street towards the place he was supposed to meet his blind date.

He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to this, but it wasn’t like he was having any luck finding love on his own. 

After several failed long-term relationships with fuckboys that weren’t worth his time and heartache, who ran the second things got real, he joined the apps—quickly realizing that most of the guys he found on there were only looking for sex. Which was fun and all, but Eddie wanted more. 

He was looking for romance, a spark, someone he could see spending his life with, who was also looking for a partner. Someone who wasn’t allergic to commitment. 

So, he’d quit the apps. 

And when Chrissy told him she had a guy she wanted him to meet he figured, fuck it, he’d tried everything else. 

Steve Harrington. 

He was a friend of Robin’s, Chrissy’s new girlfriend who Eddie hadn’t had the chance to meet yet, but apparently the three of them had gotten together last weekend, and now Chrissy was convinced the man and Eddie were perfect for each other. 

“On the surface it’s giving opposites attract,” she’d said, “but under the carefully styled hair and button down shirts, Steve is not at all what you’d expect. He’s kind, funny, a little weird, and way different than the guys you usually go for—but in the best way. Just give it a chance. I promise at the very least you’ll have a good time and maybe make a friend.”

Eddie wasn’t so sure that’d be the case, but he was here, willing to give it a go, and he had a trick up his sleeve. A little idea he’d stolen from a TikTok video that had, so far, a 100% success rate for exposing duds.

He reached his destination and pushed open the door, entering the warm dimly lit restaurant, and before he’d even reached the hostess stand noticed a man rising from his seat, smiling and waving—waving at him.

And oh, oh Chrissy had better count her days because Eddie was going to fucking kill her. Steve, assuming this was the guy, was quite literally the hottest man he’d ever seen in real life. 

She couldn't warn a guy?  

Eddie raised his hand, absently returning the wave as he continued to stare a little dumbstruck at his date. 

Get it together, Munson. 

Mercifully, Eddie was able to snap out of it enough to put one foot in front of the other again and make his way over to their booth.

There was an awkward moment where Steve couldn’t seem to make up his mind between shaking Eddie’s hand, or hugging him in greeting. 

Honestly Eddie wasn’t sure of the protocol either since it was his first blind date. He supposed this was to be expected. Not only were they about to embark upon the supremely awkward adventure that was every first date ever, but they were also meeting for the very first time having never seen or spoken to each other before.    

In the end it became one of those half-and-half bro hugs with the little pat on the back, before they took their seats opposite one another. 

Steve was the first to break the silence. “It’s good to meet you, Chrissy told me a lot about you.” 

“Wish I could say the same.” Eddie muttered under his breath. 

“Oh, um.”

“Sorry, it’s—I didn’t mean,” Eddie shook his head at himself. “Ignore me.”

“No, I'm sorry.” Steve raked a hand over his face. “It’s weird right? This is weird. I tried to tell Robin—I mean, who even goes on blind dates anymore!”

It surprised a laugh out of Eddie that he couldn’t have held back if he tried. He quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. 

Great job, Munson, laugh at the guy—great way to make a first impression. 

But then Steve was cracking a little lopsided smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling ever-so-slightly with it. He didn’t seem offended, or mad. 

Fuck. 

He wasn’t just dangerously hot, he was cute too. 

Eddie tugged lightly on his shirt collar, and cleared his throat. “It’s a little weird, sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.”

Their server chose that moment to arrive and introduce herself, taking their drink order—some local craft beer Eddie had never heard of for Steve, a Jack and coke for himself—and Eddie used the temporary distraction to try and regain some composure. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t already hoping this would go somewhere, that Steve would be different from all the others.

But when the server had gone and it was just the two of them again, Steve opened his mouth and Eddie instantly flashed back to every bad first date he’d been on.

“So, what’s your favorite—”

Steve hadn’t even finished asking his first question before Eddie was interrupting, raising a hand to tick off each response on his fingers as he went.

“Black, metal, D&D, the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy starring our lord and savior Brendan Fraser, The Silmarillion, cheeseburgers, Halloween, aaaaand—a dog.”

Steve blinked at him. “...What?”

“My favorite color, genre of music, hobby, movie, book, food, holiday, and of course the classic—if I could be any animal, what animal would I be and why?” 

Eddie let his hand fall to the table with a soft thud. “Dog—hands down. And I know I look more like someone who’d say black cat or something like that, but I enjoy attention and physical affection far too much to be an aloof feline. Shaggy lovable mutt seems way more my speed.”

By the end of his speech, Steve was grinning from ear to ear, nodding in understanding.

Eddie gave half a shrug, blushing a bit under the full force of Steve’s dazzling smile. “Thought I'd save us some time and speed-run the same old, same old.”

A moment later their drinks arrived and they both sat up a little straighter reflexively as the server set each glass down on cocktail napkins in front of them before scurrying off. 

They’d been leaning in towards each other without even realizing, it seemed. It was Steve’s turn to blush now, Eddie noted with delight as he raised his glass to his lips, grateful to have something to do with his hands.

“I take it you’ve been on a lot of first dates?” Steve asked, taking a long sip from his own drink.

“A few.” Eddie said, tilting his cup to swirl the ice around. “You?”

Steve made a waffling motion with his head. “A few.” 

Eddie took another sizable swig from his glass, focusing for a moment on the burn of the whiskey and the tingle of soda bubbles in his throat as he swallowed, and carefully set his cup down on the table between them. It was almost empty already—should have asked for a double. 

“Okay, my turn, “ he said.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “You wanna know my favorite color?”

“No, there’ll be plenty of time to find that out later.”

“Presumptuous of you.”

Eddie hummed noncommittally. “More… hopeful.”

Steve let out a breathy laugh. “Alright, what do you want to know?”

Here goes nothing—

“What would you do if we moved in together and I started seeing ghosts and told you that our house was haunted?”

Steve tilted his head to the side, giving Eddie that soft crooked smile again, and damn if it wasn’t becoming one of Eddie’s favorite things. Can you be obsessed with something you’ve only seen twice?

Steve was quiet for a long moment, nearly draining his beer as he thought it over, but eventually set his own drink down beside Eddie’s and looked him dead in the eye. “Is it a nice ghost or a scary ghost? Are we talking banging on walls and rearranging furniture at 3am? Or a cold yet comforting presence in the corner.” 

Eddie put on a show of thinking about it, rubbing his chin and staring off into space as he tried desperately to contain his excitement. He’d never had the question go over this well before. 

Then their server was back, asking if they wanted another round—yes, of course—and if they were ready to order. They hadn’t even cracked open their menus yet, too distracted with talking. 

“Do you know what you want?” Steve asked him.

Eddie swallowed hard. 

You.

“I-I’m not picky. Order for me? Chrissy said you come here a lot so I’m sure you know what’s good.”

Without hesitation Steve ordered them a burger each, and a plate of some sort of fancy fries to share, apparently they had the best fries. 

It hadn’t been another test, honest. Eddie really didn’t care what he ate, this was already turning out to be his best date in far too long—and It could have been a coincidence, maybe Steve ordered burgers there all the time, but Eddie chose to believe it meant Steve had been listening. Test or not, he’d passed with flying colors.

When they were alone again Eddie smoothed his hands along the table, drawing invisible patterns with his fingers and finally answered Steve’s question. 

“Let’s go with scary ghost, but remember you have no proof, you haven't seen it with your own eyes, just my word.”

Steve waved him off as if that was inconsequential, upending his glass to get the last dregs of the beer, and wiping his lips on the back of his hand.

“Okay, well then it depends on how hands on you want to be. We could consult WitchTok, try and cleanse the house ourselves, ask the spirit to leave, that kinda thing. Or maybe find a priest who’d be willing to help us out? That might be a little more difficult since the church isn’t usually our biggest fans, but I could deal with a little homophobia to make sure you were happy and comfortable in our home.”

Eddie’s stomach flipped, heart beginning to race. He wasn’t surprised exactly, Steve had been blowing past his expectations at every turn already, but there was no more perfect answer to his admittedly insane first date question.

So naturally, he had to push. 

“What if I wanted to move?”

Steve shrugged. “Then we’d move.” 

Eddie stared at him incredulously. Steve said it like it was nothing, like uprooting his entire life for some crazy shit was akin to changing his socks. This was all hypothetical, Eddie knew that, and Steve could just be telling him what he wanted to hear, but Eddie had a feeling he was telling the absolute truth

“But we’d be out, at minimum, a month’s rent and security deposit, and what if the landlord won’t let us out of the lease?!” Eddie threw his hands up, suddenly taking his own game much too seriously. “Or godforbid we’d bought the place, then we’d have to sell it and all our money would be tied up in it, and—”

Steve reached out and took Eddie’s hands with his own, gently stroking his thumbs along the back of them. “Baby—baby it’s okay. No amount of money would be worth you feeling unsafe.”

And Eddie was simply going to pass away, because what the fuck—how was this man so perfect?

“Why—how are you single?”

Steve flashed a sad, self deprecating smile. “I’ve been told I can be a little… intense.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Well, historically speaking…”

Eddie leaned over the table, pressing a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. “I happen to like intense.”

Steve sucked in a breath, cheeks flushing again with the most glorious shade of pink. “Good to know.”

They stayed hand in hand talking for a long time, taking turns asking each other the most random questions they could think of. 

“Favorite episode of The Twilight Zone?” Eddie asked. 

“Oh, easy. I don’t know the name of it but it’s the one where the kid is lost and her parents can hear her in the house panicking, but they can’t see her?” 

Eddie nodded his approval. “Little Girl Lost, good choice.” God he was falling more in love by the second. 

“Favorite Abba song.” Steve countered. 

Eddie grinned. “How do you know I even have one? Mean scary metalhead like me.”

Steve rolled his eyes, and shot him a look that clearly stated he found Eddie neither mean or scary. “Everybody likes Abba.”

“Well played.” Eddie bit at his bottom lip. He felt like a teenager with his first crush all over again. “Fine—while Dancing Queen holds a special place in my heart, and maybe this makes me a gay cliche, but Gimme, Gimme, Gimme fucking slaps.” 

It went on and on like that until eventually their food arrived, forcing them to separate. They still spoke as they finished their meal, and settled their tab, but Eddie missed the warmth of Steve’s hand in his already. 

He suddenly understood why some couples chose to sit together on the same side of a booth. He’d happily look like a dork right now to have the opportunity to be pressed up against Steve’s side, to be able to slide a hand along his thigh and maybe—

“Eddie?” 

Steve’s slightly raised voice found him in his daydream, snapping him out of it abruptly. 

“Wha..?”

“Did I lose you there for a second?” Steve asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

Eddie rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah, sorry, um—you were saying?”

“I said, I'm having a really good time, and I know we already paid the bill but I really don’t want this night to end, so—” Steve slid out of his seat and moved to stand in front of him, holding a hand out—which Eddie took immediately, of course, and let Steve pull him to his feet. 

“I was wondering if you’d want to take this back to my apartment? Y’know, so we can plan a second date?” He finished with a smirk.

Jesus Christ. 

Warmth shot through Eddie’s body at the implications but he found his heart skipping a beat too, because as much as Steve was teasing, Eddie knew somehow that he meant it about the second date. 

He couldn’t believe his luck, Steve was everything Chrissy had made him out to be, and so much more. He was going to send her the biggest bouquet of flowers tomorrow, and maybe an edible arrangement. Were those still a thing?

Eddie leaned in, letting his lips brush along the shell of Steve’s ear as he spoke. “It’s not haunted, is it?” 

Steve shivered, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and pulling their bodies flush. “No, but if you’re interested I can think of a few other ways to make you scream.”

Thanks as always to the lovely @penny00dreadful for everything😘😘😘

Permanent taglist(open): @penny00dreadful @pearynice @hitlikehammers @bookworm0690 @wonderland-girl143-blog 

@goodolefashionedloverboi @themagicalari

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

79 for shaymien tyvm - katie (the last one was also me you get it)

79. “i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

linked on ao3 || read under the cut || 4k, rated m

summary:

"Would it be okay if we just sat here?" Shayne asks quietly, the exhale of his speech warm on Damien's shirt. Damien scratches over Shayne's scalp and it's like his best friend turns to liquid in his lap. Damien grins. "We can sit here as long as you want." || Or, Shayne's tired after a workout and it leads to a conversation that's been a long time coming.

It's not like they ever plan on doing stuff like this. This happens every time they're both single, every time neither of them have seen their families in a while, every time one of them needs and the other can provide. Damien unlocks the door of Shayne's apartment without a bit of pause. Shayne is at the gym at this time most days, so Damien isn't exactly surprised to find the flat empty. He smiles at the two stacks of video games already set up on the coffee table, the groups divided by whether the game is multiplayer or single player, all ten of them games they both enjoy. His boy knows him too well. They hadn't even discussed hanging out today. 

He's been combing through the snacks in the kitchen for about five minutes when he hears the door being unlocked once again, cracking a smile as he closes the cabinet he was rifling through. 

"Hey man, let me get a quick shower and we can game?" Shayne calls from the living room. Damien makes an affirmative sound and begins transferring the snacks he had collected to the coffee table, barely aware of the sound of the bathroom door shutting behind his friend. Despite the fact that Shayne still shops like he and Damien live together, most of what Damien's grabbed are Shayne's favorites- the guy's always starving after working out, and if Damien gets him snacks now, he won't have to hear about it. Not that he even really minds when Shayne does complain. 

That was honestly the first thing that made Damien think that maybe his relationship with Shayne was different from all of his other relationships, that maybe this is what people are talking about when they say they have a best friend. It's not that he doesn't know who he would be if he didn't have Shayne. It's that he doesn't know that he became himself til loving Shayne shaped who he is. Who would he be without Shayne's hand over the gearshift, laughter ringing in their ears nearly an hour after the joke had been told, Shayne's smiling face colored pretty by the pink of the setting sun? 

He grabs Shayne a bottle of water. He heaves out a breath. He sits on the couch. 

He doesn't know how much time he's lost writing a sketch in his head before Shayne walks out of the bathroom, steam rolling out after him like some early aughts Old Spice commercial. Damien can't help but grin at him; Shayne throws the towel he'd been rubbing through his hair at Damien's head. Damien catches it, throwing it back faster than Shayne is apparently prepared for, as it strikes him directly in the chest rather than being caught in his hands. Despite being the one to throw it first, Shayne seems a little out of sorts. He's got that look to him that he gets after live streams sometimes, the one that's half tired and half overwhelmed, though the look is mellowed some by the comfort of being in his own home. Still, Damien leans back against the side of the couch and pulls his legs up as well. He's not even entirely settled, arms wide to hold his best friend and knees apart to accommodate him, before Shayne is diving into his lap, arms wrapped around Damien's waist, face rubbing into the other man's chest affectionately. Like a fucking cat.

A chuckle punches its way out of Damien's chest at the sight. "You alright there, bud?" he asks, settling back into the arm of the couch and running his hand over Shayne's hair. Shayne hums.

"I like being close to you. You’re warm," he says simply, as if that's all there is to it, like being with Damien is the easiest thing in the world. Damien knows it isn't. The way that Shayne has always disagreed with him on that still makes him feel warm after this many years together. No matter how much time he spends with his best friend, he doesn't know that it will ever feel like enough. Sometimes the sheer luck of meeting Shayne, of being on the same set as him at the same time, it hits Damien in the chest. On a universal level, he was so close to never having this. He holds onto Shayne a little tighter just because he can. Shayne hums again, pressing in and nuzzling his face into Damien's chest.

"You wanna play something or you just wanna sit here, baby boy?" Damien asks, his tone making it clear that he doesn't mind either way, even if the words aren't so clear. Shayne makes a noise of protest and starts pushing himself up, but Damien keeps him settled in the cradle of his hips with a gentle hand; it's obvious from his face and posture that Shayne is only trying to remove himself because that's what he thinks he's supposed to want to do. Damien runs his fingers through Shayne's hair, making the other man relax against him nearly instantaneously.

"Would it be okay if we just sat here?" Shayne asks quietly, the exhale of his speech warm on Damien's shirt. Damien scratches over Shayne's scalp and it's like his best friend turns to liquid in his lap. Damien grins.

"We can sit here as long as you want," he says, sliding down a little bit more so that Shayne's face is against his throat and they're settled chest to chest. He pulls the blanket off of the back of the couch, spreading it over Shayne's back.

"Thank you," Shayne murmurs. His mouth is right against Damien's throat, his breath warm and the vibration of his speech something Damien didn't know he found comforting. He should know, as many times as they've done this.

"Any time, bud. You know that," Damien reminds him, pressing a kiss to the side of Shayne's head. That's not new either, a long time habit from when they were so much younger and so much more scared, broke as fuck all the time and never knowing what the fuck to do about it. Shayne tilts his head up to brush a kiss against Damien's jaw, settling back down quickly. If Damien didn't know to look for it, he might miss the proliferation of rose spreading across Shayne's ears. But he does know to look for it. And seeing it always warms him from the inside out. The idea that he can still make Shayne blush is one he'll always be grateful for, and maybe a little winded that he can. He loves this boy so much.

They don't talk for the next little while; Damien couldn't even hazard a guess of how long, his phone left abandoned on the coffee table and his watch missing entirely. He doesn't always put on everything when he's just coming over to Shayne's, leaving off accessories at random just because Shayne is one of the only people in the world that Damien doesn't feel like he has to present himself well around. Sure, he gives some of his best to Shayne, but Shayne has also been the person to handle a lot of his worst, to hold him after breakups and reassure him when he's scared and all of the bullshit that comes with being just a little bit too codependent with your best friend. Damien brushes another kiss on the crown of Shayne's head just for thinking of it. Boredom doesn't pick at him in this quiet place with Shayne as it typically would. The weight against his chest, the warmth of another body, Shayne, it's all very calming.

"I love you, you know," Shayne says quietly, virtually apropos of nothing. Damien hums, rubbing his hand up and down Shayne's back.

"I know, baby boy. I love you too," he replies, natural and easy. Shayne lays a kiss down on Damien's shoulder.

"I mean it," he stresses. Damien raises an eyebrow even if Shayne can't see it, his hand moving from Shayne's back to the back of his head, gentle as he pulls Shayne up to look at him, pushing back to sit up a little himself. Shayne reluctantly moves to support himself so that he can make eye contact. Seeing the question in his gaze, Shayne sighs. "You're my person," he whispers, looking at Damien with so much emotion that Damien has no idea how to pick through it. Instead of trying, he cups Shayne's jaw.

"You're my person, too, Shayne. No one I trust more than you," he assures. It doesn't seem as if this was the response Shayne was looking for, his head listing into Damien's palm and his lips pursed. Damien raises his eyebrow again, asking Shayne to elaborate without asking aloud. Shayne kisses his palm before resettling into his grasp.

"You're my best friend and it still never feels like enough," he says quietly, no longer making eye contact with Damien. A hard feeling settles in Damien's chest, the easy happiness of a moment ago draining from him. Not enough is something that Damien has heard before. It's never been a good thing.

"Did I do something?" he asks, unable to keep the shake out of his voice. Shayne's eyes snap to his and then go soft; immediately, he gets his knees more steadily beneath himself so that he can reach up and cup the back of Damien's head, careful fingers tangled in his hair. Unable to make himself think any better of it, Damien catches his hands on the backs of Shayne's thighs and pulls, shifting Shayne to have his knees spread across Damien's lap. Immediately, there's relief in every place they touch. Reassurance. Peace. Shayne is smiling at him. He looks fucking beautiful.

"Move back in with me." Shayne drops this suddenly, his gaze still soft where Damien can practically feel it against his skin, and it sends Damien blinking in surprise. Of all of the things he might have thought Shayne would say, that wasn't one of them.

"Beg pardon?" he asks. Shayne's smile falls.

"It's- it's just an idea," Shayne says, looking away from Damien and looking like he wants to disappear in his own apartment and Damien can't have that.

"Shayne, you live in a one bedroom apartment," he says gently, putting it ahead of any of the other protests knocking in the back of his mind, addressing the most practical first. Shayne tries again to push himself up and out of Damien's lap, but he's still doing that thing he does. Sometimes, typically when he's showing any emotion at all instead of handling the emotions of most everyone around him, Shayne tries to recede back into himself. He'll pull in all of his tells and shut Damien out and it's so fucking frustrating, not because Damien doesn't want to do the work of loving his best friend, but because Shayne thinks he has to. Because Shayne thinks this is what everyone else wants from him. For him to be easy. Damien has only ever wanted Shayne. Not so interested in easy. He keeps his hands on Shayne's thighs and Shayne isn't trying particularly hard, so in Damien's lap he stays.

"I miss you," Shayne mumbles nonsensically. After a moment, though, it makes a lot of sense to Damien, honestly. He misses those early mornings with Shayne, the nights when Shayne would climb into bed with him just because they were still talking, the reassurance of knowing that no matter what kind of day he had, he'd be coming home to Shayne fucking Topp. Damien lifts one of his hands and holds it to Shayne's chest, fingers brushing his collarbones through his shirt. Shayne looks at him with far too much melancholy for a face like that.

"How about when both of our leases are up? Mark can find a new roommate, you and me can find a two bedroom, we'll live together again, yeah?" he suggests, surprised then when Shayne's expression twists before he catches himself, smoothing it out into a smile. "No, no, I saw that. What's up, Shayne?" he asks, patient and even. Shayne closes his eyes.

"It's stupid," he says. Damien hums, encouraging him to elaborate. Shayne sighs. "I don't want a two bedroom apartment." When he opens his eyes, Damien tilts his head at him, confused.

"Come on, man, you know I don't really get the whole beating around the bush thing. We've gotten as far as you want to live together again, but I don't know what that part means. Tell me what the problem is." He moves the hand on Shayne's chest over to his side, thumb stroking over his oblique. With a deep breath, Shayne seems to steel himself.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately," he says, the words falling out of his mouth like they're the beginning of something, but Shayne pauses once they've hit the air. Damien nods, silently imploring him to continue. "Best sleep I've had in months was when we were sharing that hotel room in Vegas." His voice is thin, and it only takes Damien a second to figure out why. Their room had been scheduled incorrectly in Vegas. Technically, anybody in their party could have shared the room with one bed and let them have one of the rooms with two, but it was the room Damien and Shayne had been given and they hadn't made any sort of fuss about it. He'd woken up with Shayne beautifully sleepsoft, tucked comfortably into his chest all three days they were in that hotel.

"You want to move in together, and you want to share a bed," Damien says; Shayne's face colors a deep red, but he nods in confirmation. A smile creeps its way onto Damien's face. "I guess we're about to have a lot of sleepovers til my lease is up, yeah?" he asks, watching with delight as Shayne's expression goes from that melancholic fear to overwhelmingly pleased. Impulse control completely with the fucking wind, Damien leans up and kisses his best friend on the mouth. Like that's a good idea. He doesn't even realize that Shayne is kinda kissing him back before he reels backwards, putting space between their faces even if they're still touching more than they're not. Shayne makes a soft noise, quiet protest clear as he tugs Damien back into another kiss, harder but no less full of care. He's delicate with the way he holds Damien's face in both hands, his movements deliberate as he tries to tell Damien through touch alone that he wants this too. That this is all he wants.

"Dames," Shayne breathes out against his mouth. Damien leans up to catch him in another kiss. For this being the first time they've done this, it's the easiest this has ever been for Damien, the most comfortable, the only first kisses he's ever had that didn't feel like a hostage negotiation he was having with his brain to wrest enjoyment from the clutches of discomfort. Of course he's comfortable. It's Shayne. There's not a more comfortable place in the world for Damien's hands than on Shayne's skin, no more comfortable weight in his lap than Shayne's warm body. Damien pulls back again and this time Shayne lets him, makes no move to stop him from burying his face in Shayne's shoulder, breathing out his overwhelm as best as he can. His heart is fucking pounding. Still, he can't help grinning when he lifts his head to look at Shayne. It's Shayne. Loving him is the easiest thing he's ever done.

"Are we doing this?" he asks, smile coloring his words with fondness more overtly than he's ever allowed himself to display. Shayne's grin is confident, but when he speaks, his voice is quiet.

"Please," he says, broad hands warm on Damien's face, and this is it. It is different. His relationship with Shayne is different because he fucking loves him, not just the barrage of platonic affection that has bowled him over for nearly half his life, he loves Shayne like cracking his chest open and letting the other man stick his hand in. In that moment, it needs to be said again.

"I love you," he says, turning his head to press a kiss against one of Shayne's palms. At that, Shayne climbs out of his lap. Not expecting the movement, Damien makes no protest, instead raising an eyebrow at Shayne once he's on his own two feet.

"I'm in love with you. I also want to be in bed with you," Shayne says, pulling him up by the hand. Knowing it's not what he means, Damien leers suggestively anyway.

"Very forward, baby boy. Here I thought you were gonna treat me like a gentleman," he teases. Shayne huffs out a laugh and looks down at his socked feet, smiling at the floor.

"Not what I meant, you asshole. I mean- we can do that at whatever pace, like, works for us? But I want-" Shayne cuts himself off, that deep red taking over his face once again, trailing down his neck. Damien knows exactly how far that blush goes, but that doesn't mean he's not thinking about it still. He wants to taste the heat on Shayne's skin. He wants to hold Shayne so he'll sleep well. He leans further into Shayne's space, not quite close enough to kiss but close enough it definitely wouldn't be hard.

"What do you want, Shayne?" he asks, the rasp of his voice sending a visual shiver down Shayne's spine. He leans his forehead against Damien's shoulder.

"I want you to hold me," he whispers, less like he's afraid to say it and more like he's afraid to break this moment. Damien nods, grabbing Shayne by the hand.

"I can do that."

He leads Shayne by the hand to his own bedroom, strips him of his shirt gently, and then of his sweats, even getting Shayne to pick up his feet so that Damien can take of his socks for him, and suddenly he realizes that none of this is new so far. Well, the kissing, that's new. But holding Shayne's hand? Leading him to his own room? Undressing him? He remembers late nights in their shared space, Shayne's tired eyes strained from practice script after practice script, his energy scraped thin. Damien would take his hand then, get him comfortable, tuck him in. Stay if Shayne grabbed for him, which he almost always did. Damien never minded. Divesting himself of his own clothing, Damien has to ignore the way that Shayne's eyes roam over his chest, his stomach, his boxers. He never thought when they were younger that Shayne would ever look at him like this. Looking retrospectively at all of this, he can't imagine he would have done anything differently if he knew then what he knows now. Who knows how long he and Shayne would have lasted if they'd jumped into this young and unsettled? He wouldn't do it any other way.

The chief sound of the two of them getting settled into bed together is laughter; they've never been able to share a bed without getting into some kind of wrestling match. Staring down at Shayne's pretty face with his best friend on his back underneath him, it strikes Damien that perhaps that wasn't always as platonic as it had felt. He leans down to kiss Shayne again, but they end up having to pull away given that they're both still laughing. His heart feels fit to fucking burst. Just looking at Shayne makes something catch in Damien's chest. Fuck, he loves him. Fuck. Shayne pulls Damien down on top of himself, knocking the breath out of Damien in the form of a surprised bark of a laugh. Grinning against his temple, Shayne runs his hands along Damien's back with eager hands, digging in his fingers in a way that feels good, and Damien groans.

"God, magic hands," he mumbles into Shayne's collarbone. The rumble of Shayne's laugh beneath him is probably one of the best things in the world. Right after Shayne's fucking magic hands, his wide fingertips digging into the knots in Damien's back, slight ache of it smoothed out by his broad palms. He's always liked Shayne's hands though. The feel of them, the weight of them, the look of them, the blunts of his nails, the scar between two of his fingers he got breaking a glass when he was thirteen. There's so much story in those hands. So much story in this boy. He kisses his way along Shayne's collarbone, not with any heat really, but just to move his lips across Shayne's skin. One of Shayne's hands moves up from Damien's back, clutching at but not pulling Damien's hair as he guides him up to look at him.

"I love you," he says again, voice laced with awe like he's lucky just to be able to say it, to be able to love Damien aloud. He gets halfway up on his knees between Shayne's thighs, making them fall a little wider to accommodate him. With the way Shayne is looking up at him, he doesn't think he minds.

"I love you so much." With that, Damien dips down and connects their lips. Shayne is pliable under him, soft skin and hard muscle both giving way to being manipulated by Damien's whims. His hands are hungry as he grabs at Shayne, nails skating across the other man's skin. He doesn't know what it would be like to love Shayne without a certain degree of violence. His love for him has never gone quietly, never been something that Damien could pack away into boxes like everything else, reduce the clutter of his mind and move on with his life. Instead, he built the whole world around him, the chaotic life of a performer in Los Angeles moored by the touchstone that is Shayne Topp. Things, in a lot of ways, make a lot more sense with Shayne's tongue in his mouth. Like, at least now he knows why he never really liked any of Shayne's exes. Just thinking of it makes Damien pull away from Shayne's mouth, laughing into his best friend's shoulder. Is that still what he calls Shayne? They should probably talk about that.

"You gonna share with the class?" Shayne asks, teasing in his tone as he nuzzles his face into Damien's hair. Damien kisses the junction of Shayne's throat and shoulder.

"I guess this kinda clears up why I never liked any of your exes," he says wryly, delighting in the bark of Shayne's laughter that immediately follows.

"I mean, yeah." He could have said anything, really, for as much as Damien is paying any mind to it- Shayne has freckles on his shoulders that Damien has always wanted to count, maybe in the back of his mind somewhere always wanted to kiss, and the opportunity begets compulsion. 

He traces feather-light kisses from one to the next, counting in his head with his mouth otherwise occupied. When he gets down Shayne's chest someways, he gets a giggle out of Shayne kissing one a few inches below where his armpit hair stops. When he gets to one not far from Shayne's nipple, the touch of his lips brings a gasp out of him. Another compulsion begotten by opportunity, Damien touches his mouth next to that nipple, already pebbled beneath the contact. Not wanting to take things too quickly, he abandons the journey down the route of Shayne's freckles, instead pressing kisses on his way up til he meets again with Shayne's mouth. He just brushes him with a kiss then, rolling off of Shayne and onto his back. Shayne tilts his head in question.

"How do you want to be held?" Damien asks, reminding Shayne of why they had moved to the bedroom in the first place. Half hard in his boxers, Shayne takes the pivot with admirable grace, still grinning as he pushes his way against Damien's chest.

"Like this," he says, tangling their legs together and nudging Damien until he puts his arms around Shayne's shoulders. His grip on Damien's waist is nothing to joke about either, his hands splayed possessively across Damien's lower back. Damien presses a kiss to the side of his head.

"I can do that."

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO! the tommyinnit 101. technically this isn't really tied to an smp though.

so first we must start at the very beginning. the dream smp. in late 2020-early 2021, the dream smp was at the height of its popularity, and tommyinnit played one of its most prominent characters (tommy, henceforth referred to as c!tommy). now the thing about c!tommy is that both he and cc!tommy (idk if i've talked about the c! vs cc! divide before but that is its own 101) were under 18 at the time, and therefore if you shipped his character with anyone about 70% of the fandom would tear you apart.

honestly dsmp isn't too relevant here, though, except to introduce tommy and tubbo. you see, in a world of straight men using their little block guys to flirt with one another, tommy was Very vocal about loving women. being Straight was part of his Bit in the same way that being Annoying and playing the able sisters music from animal crossing was.

anyways in late 2022 he uploaded a vlog of him and tubbo getting married, tubbo mostly against his will. they pulled out all the stops- got an ordained minister (their friend scott, who you may recognize from the life series 101s) to do a little ceremony, had a lot of their friends acting as different members of the wedding party, even signed and filed real paperwork!

yep. that's right. they signed legal fucking paperwork. i've heard that tubbo didn't even know it was a marriage certificate, he thought it was a waiver for being in the video or smth. that's right, known straight man tommyinnit tricked his best friend into getting Real Life Legally Married to him, presumably just for shits and giggles.

This fact went unnoticed until mid-late 2023. tubbo was playing on the QSMP with some other people (i know FitMC, not sure who else), and was joking about going to Vegas and getting married to Fit. and then tubbo realized he was still married to tommy.

also, around that time, tommy wrote and published (to wattpad) a rpf crack fic called Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle, where tommy leaves his Real Life Girlfriend molly for tubbo (molly dies directly afterwards because it was so romantic) and then he and tubbo kiss without tongue. tubbo was not consulted during the production of this fanfiction.

after learning about the marriage, tubbo started working to get a Real Life Divorce from his Real Life Friend Tom. tommy refused to sign the paperwork. if any of this ever goes to court tubbo fully intends to livestream the whole thing.

around 2 months ago, tommy did a parody of "I'm Just Ken" called "I'm Just Tom," in which he begs tubbo not to divorce him. it must be seen to be believed. idk if the link will work in an ask but i need you to see it https://youtu.be/laAPXcxjDlI?si=wPQM3ZJHBIv11Cfr

also if you're wondering how molly, tommy's Real Life Girlfriend, feels about all of this? she thinks it's hilarious. for the past month or two-ish (?), tommy's been doing a stand-up comedy tour in america (because they are all british), and at the same time tubbo's been doing a subathon (aka tubbathon bc it's tubbo) (a subathon is a twitch stream with a timer on it. the stream ends when the timer finishes out, and whenever someone subscribes to the streamer's channel more time is added) (the tubbathon is still going btw and isn't slowing down anytime soon). at one point molly came onto the tubbathon, and tubbo bought her a new phone bc hers was shit. (directly afterwards tommy posted a vlog about it, saying he felt like he was being cucked by his gay husband)

fans have dubbed these three the nightmare polycule, and it's not hard to see why.

and then, finally, this morning (last night in england time), tommy and tubbo were on a phone call. tubbo (gay) encouraged tommy to "say the f slur!" and tommy said, and i quote, "I'm bicurious, so I guess I could say like a fifth of it. [Tochat] Hear that, ya -ggots?"

i needed to tell you all of this so that you would understand the full insanity of all of this. there are some bits that don't really translate unless you were a dsmp fan in the 2020-2021 era, but i need you to see the ongoing insanity this man creates. he had been planning to use that joke for his live comedy show

ok uh

wow

i some pointers on his singing voice (a bit too belty there, that'll damage the throat later, some vowels need rounding)

hilarious that he rhymed Tom with arm

reading this was like a fever dream

molly is me tbh this is the most hilarious drama i have ever read

his comedic timing is beautiful

what the fuck

[babybluebanshee]

so a dead mall near me is being torn down in October and while I’m glad the space will hopefully be used for something better, the little freak part of me is sad to lose such an interesting, cursed space. I love dead malls. I find them fascinating. So I shall recount to you my personal experience inside this particular dead mall, which I shall call C Mall.

so a little context - shae and I were there because I got a v-stock (vintage resale shop that mostly specializes in movies, video games, and other nerd swag; I buy a lot of movies from them) gift card for Christmas one year and that was the closest one to where we’d been shopping that day. I had never been to C Mall, the entire time it was open. I didn’t even know it was still open at the time. We drove out and, kids, you’ve never seen a parking lot that big that deserted. Only about a third of it had any cars in it, and that’s because those were the spots closest to the movie theater and Cheesecake Factory that were somehow chugging along inside. Even then, that third was barely a quarter full. I knew right away I was gonna love this place.

the v-stock was on the populated side of the mall, so if you just stayed in there, you probably wouldn’t have ever known it was in a dead mall. It was fairly bustling, there was even a line at the register. But there were signs all around if you paid attention - water stained ceilings, a musty smell despite the clerks’ best efforts, and, creepiest of all, on the lower level where the movies were, a huge window that offered you a look into the darkened food court. The chairs all put up on tables to clean the floor, but never put down again. Most of the food stands shuttered and bare, but some still wide open with signage. The only light the sunlight pouring in from skylights a story up. I have no doubt, at night, that food court was black as pitch.

so I get my movies (spending waaaaay more than my $25 gift card, but that’s life), when shae and I both realize we have to use the bathroom. The v-stock only has employee bathrooms. The closest open ones are in the Macy’s. Clear on the other end of the building. And our bladders were juuuuust full enough to make the trek, rather than find a gas station nearby or something. Honestly, we probably were just at the point where we didn’t even remember there was a world outside this dying symbol of capitalism. There was only Mall. There had always only been Mall.

so we set off, leaving the brightly lit, populated v-stock for parts unknown. And even though it probably only took us about ten minutes to get to the Macy’s, it felt like years. Most of the stores were shuttered. A few were clearly falling apart - broken ceiling tiles, cracked glass, a light dangling by a single frayed wire. Some had been converted to storage for what did remain. What appeared to have been a store for fancy home decor had become a tangled mess of mannequin limbs. Fortunately, no heads that we could see. Just arms and legs, reaching for a god who’d long since abandoned them.

the only other humans we encountered were some older ladies on the lower level. In a last ditch effort to attract customers, any customers, the mall had turned the southern food court into a pickleball court. These ladies were maybe a few feet from the crypt of a food court on the north side. As shae and I watched them, we wondered if they were as uncomfortable with that knowledge as we were.

the only store we saw before the Macy’s that was open was an arcade/party space. “Open” is actually a pretty generous description tbh. The gate wasn’t down, and the arcade machines were on, but it was completely dark aside from those arcade cabinets, and we didn’t see anyone at the counter or at the games. There was a sign advertising party packages. To me it felt like a honey trap, like someone or something was waiting in the dark for some unsuspecting child to walk in.

finally, we reached the Macy’s. Now, malls are typically considered dead once either their profit margins drop below a certain point or their flagship store (usually a large department store like macys or dillards) closes up shop and nothing replaces it. Macys was still chugging along, but clearly in hospice. They were just waiting for the old girl to die peacefully. Sparse shelves, about two employees for the entire store, so quiet you could hear every word of the music playing over the speakers. It was haunting. And, like all department stores, labyrinthine. Felt like Will Navidson trying to find the bathroom, but we eventually did. Two of the four toilets were out of order and the hand dryer only ran for a second or two before shutting off. It was surreal.

I don’t remember walking back to the car, which remember, was on the other side of the mall by the v-stock. I just remember we eventually stepped out into the sun, and were absolutely slammed with traffic noise and human voices. It was like coming out a dark, soundproof room. It was one of the most cursed experiences of my life.

I found out that C Mall is getting demolished from an article that included pictures of the huge, empty space. I could feel the unease, the wrongness of a place that should be full of people and noise being silent and derelict. It was almost sad that this place was going out with such a whimper. I feel this picture says it all:

We did this to it. And it knows that. And it wants to know why it has to die because of us.

[sheisobvious]

some old stuff I found on pinterest (and below interesting things) - Part 1

Picture 1 

“One minute Taylor is busting out lyrics and being adorable in front of the camera, and the next she is like high-fashion model” 

Q: What type of music are you into right now? 

TS: A Late’80s pop. One of my favorite songs is “She Drives Me Crazy”, by Fine Young Cannibals.It was so ahead of its time.  

App she loves – 8MM vintage camera  

TS: “It lets you put a cool, 1960s-style filter on iPhone videos and gives clips a moody grain” 

Picture 2 

COSMOGIRL 2009 

TS: "My newest hobby is going to wal-mart and putting my CD in front of others in the rack. I have no shame in it!" 

Picture 3 

Seventeen Magazine (2008) 

Q: Do you think that he ( the guy from “Should’ve Said No”) secretly likes being named in your songs? TS: Yeah, probably. Those kinds of guys like getting attention – because I mean, what else is he doing? He’s probably with six different girls who don’t know that they’re being played. 

Q: Has he (Drew from “Teardrops on My Guitar”)  contacted you?  

TS: Actually, he showed up in my driveway a couple of months ago, and it was like in the movies where at the end the guy shows up in your driveway, and you have this awesome kiss – except it’s three years too late. I’m like, Why didn’t you do this years ago ?!? He was stranger by then, so I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. 

Q: Do you ever write songs about anyone other than yourself? 

TS: “Tied Together With a Smile” is about a girl I knew my freshman year. She was absolutely Miss Popular, a pageaant girl, and she looked perfect every day! Always had the cutest outfits, always looked teh best at prom. But sometimes when you get a litle closer to people who look that perfect, you realize that they don’t feel perfect.They feel they’re ugly. And that’s what happened with this girl- I became closer friends with her, and one day she confessed that she was bulimic. 

Q: How did that make you feel? 

TS: It was really hard for me to take. But I never want to make someone feel horrible. do not deserve to be treated like that. I try to reason with  them and be calm about it. After a while, I was just like, "You don't need to do that anymore." So I played that song for her, and I said, "Who do you think that's about?" And honestly, I don't think she ever did it after that. 

Q: Have you ever felt bad about the way you look? 

TS: Everybody does! Everybody looks in the mirror and is like, I wonder why her eyes are huge and mine are smaller. But I realized that if you’re lucky enough to be different from everybody else, don’t change. 

Q: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be someone eise? 

TS: Oh, my gosh, if I were a different person and I could start all over, I would want to be Hayley Williams from Paramore! I think she’s awesome, and their music is amazing. But you know, I love country music more than anything  in the world – I would never change what I do. 

Picture 4 

“I’ve seen a lot of you get new cars”, she joke to those who worked on the album (Fearless)  

Picture 5 

YOU (2009) 

FAVORITE BOOK – Who Will Cry When You Die? By Robin S. Sharma. It’s a self-help but It’s na easy read. Every page has a new thing you can do to show the people you love that they matter to you. It makes you appreciate what you have. I have a lot more good days now that I’ve read that. 

STYLE ICON – Cahrlize Theron. Thank you for saying I look a bit like her – taht makes my whole week. 

BEAUTY PRODUCTS – My favourite lip colour is Dragon Girl by Nars;l realy like Armani make-up and there's a perfume that l get when ľ'm in the UK called Midnight Rain by La Prairie. And I love Jo Malone candles. 

I: As ever, she sounds too good to be true . It might be one reason why. If we're being honest what eveyone realy wants to see is Taylor Swit being a litte bit naughty. Surely the teetotal Pollyanna façade must have cracks? Anyway, wouldn’t a bit of teenage rebellion be healthy? 

TS: “I've been given the freedom to do whatever I want. I'm 19 –if want to storm out of the house and go to a club and get drunk and take my clothes off and run naked through Nashville, I can do that. I just really would rather not. I's as simple as that. It's not like I’ve been beaten down by some corporation that's forcing me to always behave myself - l just naturally do. Sometimes people are fascinated by the fact that I don't care about partying. almost to the point where they think it's weird.l think when we get to the point where it's strange for you to not be stumbing around high on something at 19, t's a warped world.” 

Picture 6 

PEOPLE, 2009 

Q: You just gave a $250,000 donation to schools you had previously attended or worked with. Why schools? 

TS: The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from relly turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back. 

Q:If you’ve done all this by the time you turned 20, what do you want to do bu the time you turn 30? 

TS:I think I’d like to have made a couple more albums that I’m really proud of. I’d like to have a house. I’m not the kid the girl who makes a goal for herself of getting married or starting a family. I’ve never really put a timeline on those sorts of things. So I don’t have any personal goals by the time I’m 30. 

(midnight rain vibe)

Picture 7 

Q: What would you say is your biggest love “don’t” ? 

TS: No one wants to be with someone who desperately needs them. You should want the other person and love him, but you shouldn’t need him. If you depend on him for your happiness, that’s not good ,because what will you do when it ends? 

Picture 8 

TIGER BEAT  

I CALLED THIS ALBUM RED BECAUSE.. “all the different emotions written about on this album, they’re all about the tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semitoxic relationships that I’ve experienced in the last two years. In my mind, all of those emotions are red.” 

(I think this is the first time I see her referring to this relationship as toxic before 2022)

Picture 9 

BOP 2012 

Taylor Swift looks down at the floor as she talks about the songs on her new album, Red (it comes out October 22). "They're sad, if I'm being honest,"she confesses. Tay's big blue eyes get a little teary as she thinks about her life right now.In the last two years. Tay says she's felt "all of those emotions, travels around spanning from intense love,intense the workd with frustration, jealousy and confusion." She also admits. "There's been this earth-shattering. not recent, but absolute crash-and-bum neartbreak." 

(in this interview they are weird about her parents divorce)

[ardenigh]

More questions on Tegan & Lucky!

What sort of media would Lucky be interested in?

What sort of books and journals are in Tegan's collection?

What bike did Tegan have and what is Lucky's? How did Lucky get his?

What are Tegan's associates doing about Lucky being around instead of him?

Whether for his curiosity of meeting new people and places or distancing himself from Tegan's social circles, would Lucky consider moving somewhere else?

Since Lucky is still legally seen as Tegan, would he get his name changed?

Since Tegan is the king of street racing, would it be fitting that he also has an unbeatable skeeball highscore in every arcade he's been to?

i was going to open this answer by going "well it's your lucky day" but i just made myself cringe with it lol

it is time for boy lore!

What sort of media would Lucky be interested in?

I think he likes weird mixed-media and self-published stuff, honestly. Audio dramas, video essays. Things he can put on while he’s on the road or stretched out watching the clouds. Reading is nice, too, but he focuses best when he's just gotten up and isn't moving yet.

He likes a classic slasher from time to time, too, but only with other people. Corn-syrup blood and cheesy practical effects are just kind of better enjoyed together.

What sort of books and journals are in Tegan's collection?

Make no mistake, Tegan was a NERD. Aeronautical anthologies, astronomy texts, those weird Barnes & Noble historical coffee table selections. Poetry, like a lot of poetry. Tegan's very much a Yeats boy, although he was also fond of Rilke and Rimbaud. There’s also, like, a few dusty language textbooks, the sort that you buy on a kick and never get around to actually studying. And he wrote a lot. Memo pads and leatherbound Walgreens journals, that sort of thing. Crack one of those suckers open and you get a free tongue-in-cheek existential crisis in mechanical pencil, 'cause that's what he had on tap 80% of the time.

What bike did Tegan have and what is Lucky's? How did Lucky get his?

Tegan had a 2012 BMW F800ST! Torquey and balanced and really well cared for. Midnight blue with some subtle yellow and white accents, little bit of a Van Gogh homage (nerd).

Of course, Janus had mixed feelings on the whole racing thing, but he also recognizing that having a motorcycle was an integral part of his brother’s identity, so he arranged for a replacement — a Sprint 1050. They are both sort of sharp in the front, and honestly, like, a bike is a bike. Only thing is that a bike is not a bike, and so while Lucky does get things done with the Sprint, it’s a little bit too finicky for his taste. He ends up trading with another local bike enthusiast for something a little more his style, and that — a Yamaha FJR1300 — ends up being his trademark bike. He gets it done up in his colors and everything. :)

What are Tegan's associates doing about Lucky being around instead of him?

Aside from the fact that he just isn’t around as much as they’re used to, I think that most of his acquaintances are just convinced that Tegan sort of got scared off the scene by the crash. First one of his career, right? And bad enough to take him off the map for months. I think that what strikes them as the strangest is the way that he just doesn’t seem to engage in the racing game at all anymore — he just seems to be a full-time courier, now.

When they ask, though, he’s genial. Maybe a little vague. Something's ever so slightly off about him. It’s weird, but who wouldn’t be? The crash was pretty bad. I’m still sorting everything out. Everyone doing okay? Nothing like an NDE to really mellow someone out. He’s still welcome, though, and sometimes he takes people up on invitations on the town, but the atmosphere’s a little different now that Holloway doesn’t step up and dazzle whole rooms like he used to.

Tegan’s best friend is canny enough and close enough that she knows what Lucky’s deal is — anyway, she’s been busy in the interim with trying to suss out what got him killed in the first place. How is she coping with the recent development that the bestie has been format wiped and now perceives way more and also way less than she is comfortable with? Uh. Really well. Don't ask her any more questions.

Whether for his curiosity of meeting new people and places or distancing himself from Tegan's social circles, would Lucky consider moving somewhere else?

Lucky would love traveling, I can tell you that much. You know those people who will tour from one coast to another with a backpack and their bike? That's right up his alley.

As far as leaving permanently, though, Lucky is a creature of sentiment. He's got ties to the city, inherited though they were, and once he starts making them his own, it'll get that much harder to actually leave it behind.

He is going touring though. Someday.

Since Lucky is still legally seen as Tegan, would he get his name changed?

Maybe after enough time’s passed. Feels disrespectful to immediately start over, you know? I think a part of Lucky seeks to understand who Tegan was, and it might just be sentimentality, but wearing the name feels like a part of that, almost? You wear the name, you read the journals, you find the person still lingering in the apartment, the idle nail-carvings on the end table, the weighted blankets and sleep playlists.

In the end, if he gets too used to it, he might just start telling people that he is Lucky, yeah, but he was named after a brother who passed away. Maybe Tegan would be amused.

Since Tegan is the king of street racing, would it be fitting that he also has an unbeatable skeeball highscore in every arcade he's been to

YES. Is it anywhere near as prestigious? Absolutely not, but it's fun to see the neighborhood teens placing bets to see who can beat him.

Did Tegan have any tattoos? If so, what where they and what meaning did it have to him?

He’s got a simple one stretching horizontally above his shoulder blades, the phases of the moon. He would’ve had more, but he had too many ideas for them and often sketched down concepts in his journals and never actually committed to them. Lots of thought went into maybe getting a line or two from poems he liked inked, but he never got the chance.

If Tegan did have tattoos, would Lucky be interested in getting one as well?

The first tattoo Lucky gets might be for Tegan. Some poem on his bicep or chest. But in you is the presence that / will be, when all the stars are dead, maybe. A lonely impulse of delight / drove to thus tumult in the clouds. That one will take some thought.

Other than that, maybe a spade? Is that too on the nose?

[idridian]

what are your favourite horror movies

what a question to ask me lol. ohhhkay, strap in.

(please note that when you ask me "favourite", that means you get favourite regardless of quality. and you get no tv shows or any such things, strictly movies)

(btw i haven't actually seen that many horror films. many of the iconic franchises especially - chucky, elm street, scream, friday the 13th, texas chainsaw massacre, what have you - just never piqued my interest. maybe some day)

(also these are in no particular order)

-

1. hellraiser franchise

my working theory is that all "hellraiser" movies are bad movies, but for different reasons. the og from 1987 is a bad movie because it was made on a budget of ten pounds and a packet of crisps. hellraiser 8 is bad because its plot is about a group of teens obsessed with a hellraiser video game getting murdered at a weird sex party. these two are not the same

that being said, i love these movies very much (except for hellraiser 10. i hate hellraiser 10 and will never ever watch it ever again, thank you. no reason) and love to look at pinhead and his many cenobite buddies doing weird kinky shit <3

2. halloween movies (only 1978 and the green trilogy from 2018 onwards)

i haven't seen any of the other ones because i was introduced to the series by my very good friend miri aka @asylos, who showed me those four and no others. and i was like okay :D and just never watched the rest because i don't consume media unless prompted

i'm a basic bitch, i see a man in a jumpsuit and get gender envy, so og twink michael delights me. that being said, old man michael from the green trilogy? CHEF'S KISS. love that fucker. he's the best

3. anything del toro

a lot of his films don't really stay within the constraints of a single genre, but they definitely contain horror elements. my favourite is "the shape of water", which has its moments but is overall not that scary. the pale man from "pan's labyrinth" made quite the impression on me when i first saw the movie because while i had seen the iconic shot of him raising his hands to reveal the Palm Eyes before, i was unaware of the fact that that fucker gets up and shambles around and i was Not Okay with that

crimson peak is very pretty and i love it. for obvious reasons, i think

4. willy's wonderland

nic cage night janitor animatronic murder fight bonanza my beloved. like honestly, i watched the fnaf movie yesterday and it had zero good cleaning montages, wasn't as funny and had fewer bangers, music-wise, than willy's does. like what's the fuckin point

5. fright night 2011

this film has david tennant in it and that's why i watched it. apart from him being an absolutely show-stealing delight, the rest of the film is also a fun romp. there's vampires and stuff

6. bad samaritan

this film ALSO has david tennant in it. he's doing an american accent (a way better one than in "gracepoint", a show that you should Not watch. just watch "broadchurch" instead please, i promise you're not missing anything) and is playing a rich asshole obsessed with horses who abducts and kills women. also he throws a phone out of a car window at two separate occasions and it cracks me up

the main character is played by some actor whose name i can never remember. he's irish or something and i think he might have been in one of those pieces of media i haven't consumed. umbrella academy? was he klaus in umbrella academy? who's klaus?? is klaus FROM umbrella academy? who knows

anyway, the film is a thriller and i quite like watching it. it's tense with zero unnecessary padding, it knows what it's here for and delivers

7. the thing 1982 + 2011

another one i watched with miri. miri likes to show me horror films (and tv shows) a lot <3 we watched both the og and the new one and i quite liked them! the dog in the 82 one is really really good at his job. i highkey struggle with big groups of characters bc i can't remember names and faces for shit, so i was reeeally bad at spotting the Thing. also i liked the teeth thing from the 2011 one that was smart

8. bunny lake is missing

does this count as a horror movie? idk, but i'm putting it here

9. psycho

it's pretty good. i liked it. i think norman would have been a tumblr sexyman if such a thing had existed in the 1960s

10. the one hour long space horror segment trapped in the middle of otherwise meandering artfilm "2001: a space odyssey"

you know the one

11. alien

classic. i haven't seen any of the others apart from "aliens" because the internet said they were bad

12. the abyss

veers closer to sci-fi than horror, but i'm counting it bc it sure is tense. this is a film by james cameron about *checks smudged handwriting* some underwater diving alien nonsense or something. idk, it's been a while since i've watched it. another movie with a big group of characters i can't tell apart for shit, which is why i'm always rooting for some of them to start dying already

i watched this one because i unfortunately am doing a handshake meme with jimmy cameron labelled "hello i am obsessed with the ocean" and unlike me, he has the money to make really long epic films about it

13. the haunting 1963

this is a movie adaptation of "the haunting of hill house" by shirley jackson. it's very good! (if you're familiar with flanagan's netflix show, there are some parts of this movie that will be... quite familiar)

i watched this one with miri, followed immediately by the 1999 remake (?), which i found very strange and occasionally hilarious because of cgi that hasn't stood the test of time. also, i'd like it to be put on record that i fuckin CALLED the thing about the fireplace (somehow lol)

14. rocky horror picture show

my parents showed me this movie when i was maybe a bit too young to see it, at a point in my life where i hadn't quite figured out yet that i was various shades of queer. it sure made an Impression

many years later, i finally got around to watching the sequel, "shock treatment" (thanks to miri, of course) which is very different but also a good time, and has some bangers of its own!

-

those are all the ones i can think of (and look up in the big movie watchlist google doc miri and i use to keep track of what we've seen so far) without digging through my dvd collection, which i don't feel like doing right now because it'd be a bother.

but just for fun, a few brief honourable mentions:

the shining (i care about shelley duvall and nothing else. so glad she got to punt jack nicholson's character down a flight of stairs with a baseball bat)

black christmas (keir dullea what IS your haircut shgsjfghs)

cabin in the woods (i knew nothing going in and miri was very pleased by this fact)

house on haunted hill 1959 (skeleton lol)

young frankenstein (my parents showed me the german dub version when i was, again, a bit too young for it. iconic movie tbh)

[gastergrooberfan]

Cheat Codename

The main human actor of Cheat Commandos, who voiced the main “protagonist” Gunhaver showed up on the screen and smiled at the camera.

“Blargh! I’m Crack Stuntman, the actor of the Gunshaver from Cheat Commandos! I’m here for a very special episode of why it’s a bad idea to run away. You see, even if those you live with don’t treat you well, you still need them to survive. It may not be perfect, but even if you’re being tormented every day, you should stay with those you love because they love you deep down, even if they never say or show it.” Crack Stuntman then frowned. “Who gave me this script? This is a bunch of bologna, lucky for you, script writers, I’m desperate for money…”

“Now I remember what kind of shows I grew up on…” Strong Sad sighed as he watched Cheat Commandos.

Back on the show, Reynold was now back to his normal figure. He was thinner than he used to be, but he was still fed enough to be considered a normal weight.

“How are you doing?” Blue Laser smiled as he patted Reynold’s back.

“Honestly, joining you was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Reynold told him. “But you know what would be even better?”

“Destroying the Cheat Commandos?” Blue Laser grinned.

“You read my mind, sir.” Reynold saluted as he started to chuckle evilly. Blue Laser then laughed out loud, then they both burst out laughing maniacally.

Meanwhile, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, and Crackotage were sitting on their bean bags while playing video games, ones where ponies were beating up each other.

“Um, have you guys seen Reynold?” Silent Rip questioned. “He hasn’t begged to be fed in a while.”

“He joined Blue Laser, remember?” Gunhaver replied nonchalantly.

“Reynold’s a fool for joining their pack, pretty soon he’ll come crawling back.” Crackotage rhymed while dancing. “Haha!”

Suddenly, Blue Laser and his minions broke in, wielding laser guns, Reynold was holding his backwards. Blue Laser took it from him, Reynold frowned, until BL gave it back to him with the right side pointing towards the enemies, Reynold smirked.

“We’re under attack! Cheat Commandos! Riggedy roll!” Gunhaver pointed.

“Maybe next time, say “attack”.” Silent Rip rolled his eyes a little.

Gunhaver then tried to take out his gun, but instead he was holding a super soaker.

“What?! What is this?!” Gunhaver gasped in horror.

“We’re in the 21st century now. We can’t have real guns anymore.” Silent Rip replied.

“I forgot… Stupid censors…” Gunhaver grumbled.

“Who’s got the upper hand now?” Reynold chuckled, rather pathetically.

“How could you manipulate our little buddy?! He doesn’t know right from wrong!” Gunhaver scolded, sounding like he had some sort of morality now.

“Little?! First of all, there’s no indication I’m smaller or younger than you, you just always treated me like a kid just because I refused to go on a mission that one time! Second, even if I didn’t know right from wrong, who’s fault is that for always sheltering me?! Third.” Reynold then paralyzed Gunhaver with the laser, it spread to the rest of the commanders and he smirked.

“Look, we’re sorry, okay?! We were just trying to protect you from the outside world!” Gunhaver pleaded.

“Tell it to the Commander!” Reynold laughed as he pointed at Blue Laser who put his stubby hands on his hips proudly.

“Could this be the end of the Cheat Commandos?!” Silent Rip wondered.

“It’s no lie, we’re in trouble, we need a plan on the double.” Crackotage rhymed.

“Now it’s time for the commercial break, and now you realize why you shouldn’t run away with villains, kids.” Crack Stuntman told the camera. “And realizing is part of the fight!

“Buy all our playsets and toys!” The screen showed the set of the Cheat Commandos toys.

“Are you tired of smelling like flowers, sea breeze, or anything pleasant?” Strong Bad announced to the screen. “Are you tired of ladies coming anywhere near you for makeouts? I know I’m not, but if you are, The Poopsmith is selling a new cologne!”

The Poopsmith looked at the screen and held up a perfume bottle.

“Oh, screw this! I’m not going to sell this literal crap! Go find someone else to help you sponsor, I quit!” Strong Bad walked away, The Poopsmith looked at the ground sadly.

“Did you enjoy our commercials? That was from our sponsors! Now back to our special episode! Blargh!” Crack Stuntman announced.

“What a successful mission!” Blue Laser grinned and laughed as he dragged the captured commandos on a wagon. “Now for our takeover of the universe! Then the world! Then the town!”

“Oh boy, how can I help?” Reynold grinned.

“Just stay here and refreeze your former superiors every time they begin to move.” Blue Laser commanded.

“Yes, sir!” Reynold saluted.

“Reynold, you can’t do this!” Gunhaver told his former lackey.

“Of course I can, I am right now!” Reynold growled.

“Don’t you remember the good times?” Silent Rip asked. Reynold looked sad and sympathetic. He remembered him and his fellow commandos skipping across the beach as flower petals fell from the fly.

“Of course I do.” Reynold sighed. “Good times that never happened!” Then he froze the Commandos again.

“Don’t you see Blue Laser is just using you?!” Gunhaver questioned.

“Of course I see it!” Reynold whimpered. “Do you think I’m stupid or something?! Of course you do, but even his fake caring is better than yours!”

“Reynold, come home, you don’t know what you’re missin’, if you come back you can go on a mission!” Crackotage rhymed.

“I’ll miss your rhymes. But my mind is made up.” Reynold chuckled, then he realized something. “Oh darn it, I have to go, see you losers in a minute.”

Reynold crawled on his way to the bathroom.

“Though our situation is badder, we can count on the enemy’s weak bladder!” Crackotage laughed.

“That’s the worst rhyme you’ve ever made.” Silent Rip chided.

“You’re right…” Crackotage muttered. Soon, Crackotage, Silent Rip, Gunhaver, Fightgar, and Firebert broke loose. “We’re free! Free! Free as a bee!”

“What do we do now?” Fightgar asked.

“We need disguises, and that’s where you come in.” Gunhaver told Fightgar.

“Ahh, that was the best one yet, I feel bad for who has to go in there next.” Reynold chuckled as he walked out of the room on the left side of the hallway. Then he noticed his emo brother was standing in front of him, except he had stubble on his furry face. “Oh, what do you want?”

“Listen, sorry for being annoying, big brother.” Fightgar smiled while pretending to be Reynold’s younger brother. “Please come home with me and we can make amends.”

“Liar!” Reynold slapped Fightgar’s face, his spiky blue wig coming off. “My brother would never say such things! I’m not an idiot anymore.”

Then the other commandos hopped out of their hiding places.

“You’re outnumbered, buddy!” Gunhaver smirked. “You’re still the clueless and defenseless idiot we always knew!”

“So you admit you never thought highly of me?!” Reynold grumbled as he shook from anger, then he started sniffling as tears fell from his goggles.

“Uh, I didn’t expect that from the new Reynold.” Silent Rip shrugged.

“Uh… You okay?” Gunhaver questioned.

“I just wanted revenge, but you’re right, I’m nothing, do what you want to me, nothing matters anymore!” Reynold sobbed. Blue Laser watched this from afar, and was getting angry.

“Hey! Nobody talks to my newest recruit like that!” Blue Laser growled as he took out a larger laser beam. “Forget the mission, you all better get out of here or else I will use this even more powerful laser on you! You don’t want to know what will happen when I fire it!”

“Will it melt us?” Fightgar gasped.

“Worse, it will make you all UGLY and UNMARKETABLE!” Blue Laser laughed evilly, all five of the commandos darted away.

“You… You almost ruined our show, just to save me?” Reynold teared up a little.

“Sure did.” Blue Laser patted his shoulder.

“I thought you were just using me for evil exploits!” Reynold sniffled.

“I was, but I actually like having a friend, let’s go get another pizza.” Blue Laser smiled at Reynold.

“Awesome!” Reynold put his arms in the air. The two then drove off in Blue Laser’s ship to go order a large pizza.

[fangirling-heart]

returning the favor! Also with arcane questions cause I’m cool liek that

Show- Arcane

3, 6 (a doozy of a question when it comes to arcane lmao) 9, 15

Ship - Caitvi also

2,9,12,14

Character - hmm. Caitlyn.

1,8,10,13

Hello there and thanks for the ask! A giant ask might I add (not that I'm complaining). *cracks knuckles* let's do this!

Arcane:

3....which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

Probably the scene of Jayce and Mel having sex. I don't know it's the only one I can think of (probably because I'm sex repulsed and wasn't too invested in their relationship)

6. which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

Oof.... real hard I know! I gotta say it's...

Vi and Jinx/Powder

Le gasp! 🫨 Big shock, huh?

It's true though, their relationship started so sweet and wholesome and then turned into one of the most tragic and angsty ones I've ever seen just.... Ughhh!!! I'm a sucker for tragic siblings!!!

9. which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

Jinx/Powder and Ekko. Those two were supposed to be best friends back when they were kids and it's a pity that all we got from this was some glimpses in a music video, some jabs as teens/young adults and a flashback-esque scene. I think it would also make their fight scenes hit harder.

15. which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

Singed perhaps. Mainly because I don't want more death near my faves! Though I know that that's probably a long shot, especially after that post of Ella Purnell...

Caitvi:

2. why I do or don't ship them.

I just love their chemistry so much! Their whole dynamic is really great. It looks like they are so different and like it wouldn't/shouldn't work but still it does, because of their differences and because at their core they're both so similar.

I honestly don't know ifni can explain it any better. I just think they're really neat!

9. what my ideal endgame for them is.

Pretty much the same as yours. They end up being happily in a relationship, after solving the whole situation with Jinx and while working through their traumas.

12. about three of the scenes that make me have feelings and (if available) find the gifs that underline my points.

Scene 1. "You're hot, cupcake." I don't think this one needs an explanation.

Scene 2. Caitlyn caring for Vi after Sevika stabs her. This type of scenes is always a win for me in whatever kind of relationship and the tenderness Caitlyn show to Vi at this moment, while Vi is so adamant about refusing it, but ultimately accepts it... God I love it!

This part especially!!!

Scene 3. That scene of them in Caitlyn's bedroom. Them lying together, the softness of their voices, Vi being vulnerable with Cait, talking to her about a happy memory and about her guilt and Cait offering nothing but gentleness...

I mean look at the way she's touching her! And how Vi looks at her!!!

14. which tropes I think describe them the best.

Class divide, definitely, and opposites attract. Also, I think princess and knight suits them really well.

Caitlyn:

1). why I love them, like them or hate them.

Caitlyn is to me one of the most genuine characters in Arcane, especially when you compare her to the rest of the people in Piltover. Her honesty and humility and kindness really set her apart from nearly everyone surrounding her, along with her willingness to do stuff on her own instead of having someone else do it for her. As she states herself, she is a misfit and I love her for that!

8. a headcanon I have about this character.

Since that shooting competition and her talk with Sheriff Grayson, Caitlyn started idolizing her. Grayson maybe even took her under her wing for a while (I'm saying maybe because we don't know exactly when that competition took place).

10. if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

I kinda liked her from the beginning. I thought she was adorable as a kid (massive props to her voice actress). But she elevated to favorite status as the story was progressing. When we first met her as a child I thought she would be kind of like a side character and that we wouldn't be seeing much of her, and boy am I glad I was proven wrong!

13. how I'd do it if they had to be written out of the story.

From what I understand, this means how I would change the story if I had to remove Caitlyn.

Hmmm... pretty tough. Story-wise, Caitlyn is really important. She breaks Vi out of prison, she has connections to the council, thus being able to actually remind them that the people of the Undercity exists, because we know they wouldn't on their own...

In that case, I think a change I would make, would be Vi breaking out of Stillwater herself after hearing Silco's goon complain about this blue-haired girl with the bombs and realizes that's her sister. She kicks his ass like in canon, basically starting a riot, and into the chaos she fights her way out. She almost escapes, but she is stopped bybthe guy in the entrance. She puts up a fight again, but since she knows she can't fight anymore, she pretends to get beaten to death so they dump her body in the water. When they do, she swims to the other side and voila, Vi is back.

Now the rest for a good part goes as in canon. Vi returns to the lanes, she gets her jacket and her food, she goes to the brothel for info, confronts Sevika and when she gets stabbed, instead of Caitlyn, Ekko's the one who saves her. He saw her entering the Undercity after her escape and followed her. He brings her to his hideout, with the rest of the firelights, they tend to her wound and he fills her in on what happened during her absence. Vi of course doesn't really accept that her sister has changed and insists she can help her.

Meanwhile, like in canon Sevika tells Jinx about Vi being back, as a chance to get rid of her. Jinx goes out and the iconic flare scene takes place.

At the same time, after Ekko and some of the fireflies leave, Vi sneaks out and follows them, but then sees the smoke and goes up to find her sister.

The two reunite, but then Ekko and the others show up, a fight breaks out and Vi tries to get them all to stop, even yelling "Powder, that's Ekko!" And her responding "Yeah, no shit!" or something like that. Vi gets knocked down again, either by accident, by trying to get Jinx to stop shooting , which ends with her slamming her machine gun on her face (similarly like how she did with Caitlyn) and that makes her freeze for a moment like "Holy shit I hurt Vi!". The firelights take advantage of this, overpower her and take both her and Vi back in their hideout.

That's all I could think of so far. Come to think of it, I think it would be a good idea for a fanfic!

[bioshoook]

okay your ask inspired me so more AH asks for you: 1, 5, 8, 25, 34, 48, 51!! <3

Thank you for the questions Emrys :3

1) How did you get into AH?

Already answered, but I got into them by seeing a video somebody made on youtube with a bunch of other fandoms that were popular on Tumblr in 2014.

5) Favorite team?

Whatever the hell team name Trevor and Alfredo have now (tho Team Nice Dynamite is always right behind them in my heart)

8) Favorite AU?

Hmm favorite AU would have to be the Fake AH Crew AU just because of all the memories I have of messing around in that AU and all the great content that people have created using that AU. There's just so much to do when the characters you're playing with are literal criminals.

25) Has a video or specific moment ever made you emotional?

Not sure if this is for like sad emotional or happy emotional or whatever, but the first video I can remember off the top of my head that made me emotional in the sad way was when Meg had to host The Know after Monty passed away.

34) Have you seen the musical?

Yep I have! Watched the whole thing when it was mixed with the GTA video.

48) If you have one, who’s your favorite fic author or fan artist?

OOoohhh boy do I *cracks knuckles*

Since I know I can't narrow this down to like one author and artist I'm just gonna do a handful of the large amount of people that have created some of my favorite works and inspired me/influenced me with how I write.

So author wise I have to first give it up for @confusedeevee who without her I would most likely not be writing AH fanfic like I am today, plus she's an excellent beta, amazing writing partner and always helps me brainstorm when I need it and will listen to me rant and rave about all my au ideas even tho it's probably 3 am for her :') and her fics are out of this world, please go read them.

Next is @futureboy LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE who fed (and continues to feed tbh) my alfreyco cravings and has some of the best written dialogue out there and a head full of incredible ideas when it comes to writing! They just have some of the best writing out there and they're honestly killing it with the ST fics right now.

And since we're talking about Alfreyco (because how could we not am i right??) @jusst-you-wait is honestly really to blame for me still writing AH fic to this day, because this lovely alfreyco obsession of mine started when I read her Fake AH fic about Trevor and Alfredo investigating some abandoned building for Geoff and that's all she wrote. Also one of the best hype mans out there and such a great writer!

And I can't forget @shadeofazmeinya and @sorcererinthestars who also have some of the best fics out there in my opinion. And tbh I included both of them in one thing because one is not far from the other when it comes to fics and tumblr and there places in my HEART! Love these two so much and both have them have produced such fantastic work in this fandom and appreciate that every single DAY.

Ok now with artists unfortunately there aren't as many as there used to be in the ye olden days of the fandom, but that doesn't mean we don't have some excellent artists still!

Firstly is @keeningthoughts who without them I would not have the lovely alfreyco outlast fanart that I cry over almost daily and would not have known the joys of being in a server dedicated to a podcast co-lead by two very silly boys. Clay, your everchanging art style and the art you've drawn, no matter how silly, have always made me so happy when i see them on here or twitter :3

And then @ursifors who has created some of the most awesome art in this fandom. Just the way you draw the AH members (and Jeremy lbr) is so incredible and fun to look at. Your shading and the way you draw expressions are always the best. Like the way you nail people's faces is just 👌👌👌👌

51) Any videos, series, podcasts, etc. you’d recommend to new fans?

Would definitely recommend Red Web (how can I not?) if you're into spooky things and conspiracy theories, but for general AH stuff I would recommend Off Topic because that is always a good, tho sometimes chaotic, way to get a feel for the vibes at AH. As for videos, any Between the Games and Shenanigans videos are always great to watch. Series wise, there are always MC and GTA videos, which are CLASSICS even if they're older and Play Pals which is 👌. Always recommend those. Some more recent ones would be GMOD and 7 days to die. Also the Rage Quit anniversary video they came out like two weeks ago. That was an excellent video.

[marklikely]

listening to the long form story break episodes rn but do you have any recs for the short ones?

Well here's the episodes that I go back and relisten to the most. because i'm me it tends to be the horror ones but some of them also just have the funniest moments or they made a good movie.

TOP TIER BEST EPISODES:

111. What's Eating Gilbert Grape - Genuinely my fave episode and the movie i want to exist the most, where they make a gay gothic romance set in the vineyards of napa valley. tw for like child death and cannibalism and general gothic horror elements.

109. n o t h i n g - The funniest episode, i've listened to it dozens of times and still have parts that make me laugh til i can't breathe. i don't usually relisten to the actual movie part though because tw for a lot of talk about cat death, but the preamble to them settling on their final idea and their detour through weird penis and/or death related art projects are one of the funniest bits of podcasting i've ever heard and matt arnold is obviously the comedy god of this entire crew.

and then just some really good episodes that I've relistened to:

70. Heaven Heist - maybe the most iconic episode and if you're listening to the long form episodes then i assume you already know it but the one where they originally break the story is just so good that it must be listed here.

76. Tearjerker - Probably the best one for dndads fans since it 1. has Beth May as a guest and 2. tells a horror story about the cycle of bad fatherhood. tw for discussions of abuse and toxic masculinity

90. Bird Box - Them trying to crack their own version of bird box when they realize none of them have seen it. tons of funny bits and a pretty interesting final product about family. tw for child endangerment & some minor mentions of animal death

102. Sensory Deprivation Horror Movie - another one with a lot of funny bits, they try to create their own quiet place or bird box movie focused around one of the other major senses.

104. First - where they make a movie about inheriting a youtube empire because you commented first on a video, but it somehow becomes a sci-fi thriller

106. Disney Endgame - they're tasked with laying the groundwork for the next big step: an entire disney-owned cinematic universe. really wild especially the elevator pitch which is one of the funniest that they've done.

122. Pixar's Shoes - where they create an inspiring and formulaic pixar film about a random object, with some bits that almost put me in tears laughing

123. Halmark Movie Bonanza - just trying to use their hour runtime to quickly make as many hallmark christmas movies as possible which is absolute gold if youre as intimately familiar with the hallmark channel as i sadly am

139. Disney Channel Original Movie Marathon - Another one that i might just like because of my extreme familiarity with the source material, but this is a really funny one where they look at DCOM posters and try to make up the movie that it must be with no extra information. one of the movies they make is a ghost based lesbian surfing movie that i desperately wish was real.

and there's honestly a ton of other really funny episodes but these are just the ones i go back to the most. i do recommend being liberal about skipping episodes though like there is no shame in deciding to go to the next episode if they start the "full 5 act structure plan" phase of the episode and you're not into the story. that's the beauty of this being an episodic show lol

[grim-echoes]

honestly not to sound like a mid-20s boomer tm but kids' online experiences now don't hold a candle to what people in my age group and older used to have. like bro when i was a preteen i was on youtube making bad windows movie maker sonic videos with my best friend about our terrible (affectionate) ocs and doing bad asterisk roleplay in pms and comments back when those things used to exist and whenever you'd see shipping """discourse""" it was just kids arguing with eachother in the comments of deviantart stamps about how some crack shipping was stupid because they'd never met eachother and sonic wouldn't love your oc because that's not in line with canon and we only knew eachother by our sonic oc names which were always like blade or razor or flame or darkness and the worst community discourse you'd ever get were kids complaining about someone stealing their art style meanwhile the entire subculture of scemo sonic ocs were straight up ripping one particular person's very distinct art style left, right, and center for years complete with bad "I <3 weed" tramp stamps and rainbow coontails and bisexual behavior and now kids online today are like. genuinely ripping eachother apart over some of the most trivial shit you've ever seen turned up to 11 with intensely high stakes that could ruin a person's life and entire online experience and there's almost no spaces left for them anymore to just be stupid and have fun with eachother the way you could as a kid in the late 90s and 2000s and it's so depressing bro. do yall even watch amvs with like. angel of darkness or animal i have become or bring me to life anymore

[messandahalf10]

Okay, so this is all I’ve got, and I am struggling so it may stay as only this (cause this isn’t really that good anyway?? lol):

Thorin hadn’t meant for it to happen, not really. He had just felt himself falling, and the feeling had completely and utterly terrified him. So naturally, he did what he always did; he pulled away, he withdrew into his mind where his ever-raging storm of self-doubts and insecurities welcomed him as an old friend. They slid into his mind, twisted his thoughts, spread their oily fingers through his very skin, until he was left facing down what he assumed was simply the inevitable. Eventually, he was going to be seen as he truly was, a burden, and his heart was going to be broken.

In the end, he did what he did best. He left.

And it had hurt, of course it had hurt. But that feeling too he pushed aside, shoving it down deep beneath walls designed to keep even himself out, until he had convinced even himself that he was fine, that everything was okay. He threw himself into work and into spending time with his nephews. And when he did have a spare moment to think about Him, he kept his true thoughts and feelings locked deep in their cage, unwilling to take them out and study them, dissect them, experience them.

They were not meant for the land of the awake and conscious. They were not meant to be acknowledged at all.

Of course, Thorin should’ve known that the carefully constructed lies he had built up around and inside him would eventually unravel and leave him feeling torn open and raw and vulnerable. However, it had honestly never occurred to him that he would be missed, that he would be anything other than swept into the corner of His mind where he would fade away into nothing more than a faint memory and, sooner rather than later, forgotten altogether.

It happens on a seemingly innocuous Wednesday in the middle of a particularly wet February, the day Thorin’s carefully constructed world shifts and tilts beneath his feet. It all begins with a text.

From: BB, 7:36 AM. I know you don’t do Tik Tok but I saw this video and immediately thought of you. Had to share it.

Beneath the words is a link, that Thorin would honestly care less about at the moment. He is too fixated on the wording of the message itself. He feels a throb deep in his chest at the thought that Bilbo was thinking of him. He had no reason, as far as Thorin could tell, to be thinking of him at all. He certainly hadn’t earned that right, and before he knows what is happening, the dam he had so carefully built up inside him ever since that fateful day cracks. He can feel it, fissures shooting out in all directions, weakening the foundations and causing everything to shudder. He can practically hear it in his mind when the whole thing eventually gives entirely, crashing spectacularly and leaving him short of breath.

He stares at the message, unable to decide what to do. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to demand why Bilbo had texted him, why Bilbo was even sparing him a single, fleeting thought, if his message was secretly a plea for something else. He bites his tongue as his fingers twitch slightly. He curls his hands into fists as he stares at his now dark phone screen, sitting innocently on his desk beside his wrist.

What did he do?

With trembling hands, he reaches out and picks his phone up, thumbing it open. He hovers his fingertips over the screen, torn between replying or watching whatever video had apparently reminded Bilbo Baggins of his ex of seven months.

Based on this text post I had made a little while ago:

“Because I don’t know what you want from me.” He says softly. There’s a hint of obvious pain lacing his tone, no matter how hard he tries to cover it up, lock it away from view.

“Maybe I just want to be friends.” Comes the reply. There’s something there, but it’s unreadable, blurred like a landscape obscured in thick, white fog.

A pause. “And what if I can’t do that? What if there are too many memories there of holding your hand, tasting your smile? What if it hurts too much knowing I’m not allowed to do that anymore?”

[lqfiles]

HELP SORRY FOR OFFENDING U WITH THE HAECHAN COMMENT 😭😭

no bc if my thoughts on most vs least attractive members to me got leaked i would like get cancelled by the entire community oops 🙈

IVE BEEN TOLD I HAVE SHIT TASTE IN MEN AND MY TASTE IS INCONSISTENT TOOLIKE okay we’re not gonna offend more people sorry guys 😭😭

but haechan haechan THERE WAS THIS ONE REEL I GOT and i was like “holy… he’s mad fine…” and that reel and IDK WHICH LIVE IT WAS BUT HE WAS DRINKING (probably every one of his lives but idk he looked so fine in the clips + edits i’ve seen of it) RE-EVALUATING MY THOUGHTS ON HIM FR. like i’ve always seen him as like more adorable than like… hot/handsome in that way… DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?? IDK AM I CONFUSING HELP WHY AM I DEFENDING MYSELF OOPS

if jaemin and renjun ever do decide to start a cat twitter account i am their first follower 🫡🫡

JAEHYUN BEING SO OLD MAN CODED. does he crack dad jokes… i feel like he would

skin products are such a scam honestly i’ve tried TOO MANY THINGS AT THIS POINT. people always say oh it goes away as you get older but some days i feel like it gets worse and worse. I LOVEEE GASLIGHTING MYSELF ABOUT MY ACNE I’LL BE LIKE… omg there wasn’t as much breakout as there was last week!!! it’s getting better and then the next week it breaks out even worse than before 💀💀 hopefully!! i am still trying my best to get rid of it 💪💪 💕💕

- 🤠

LMFAOOO NOOO OMG WAIT IM NOT OFFENDED TRUSTT i’m able to accept that we don’t find the same people attractive 😓 my oomfs got interesting taste in men too.. we don’t all get each other and that’s okay 💗 i kinda need you to show me your ranking tho.. let me judge you 🤨

THE FACT THAT I JNOW EXACTLY WHAT LIVE YOURE TALIJNG ABOUT BECAUSE I HAVE LIKE 100 PINTEREST PICS SAVED OF THAT LIVE LMFAOOO, it’s the one i used for the haechan as boyfriend headcanon right? i get you tho because haechan loves to be seen as a baby girl like he thrives of the aegyo and being a princess.. and his behaviour is just over so playful and childlike but me personally i’ve BEEN thinking he was hot ever since that one teaser picture of the earthquake mv where he had that cut on his nose and was manspreading.. i was never the same again..

DAD JOKES ARE HIS SPECIALTY!!! such an old man in such an attractive body, he’s such a loser i love it. renjaem cat account and then renjun also gets included in jaemin’s youtube videos EXACTLYYY

LOLLL GASLIGHTING YOURSELF IS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭 my sister always says to not touch it because it will only make it break out more but i quite literally can’t help it like sometimes when i have breakout i’ll touch my face and feel that spot and try to press it away and urghh just annoying.. YOU GOT THIS THO DONT TOUCH IT TOO MUCH AND YOULL BE FINE I THINK 💗💗💗

[chriscapelli]

Look I'm not trying to be cold I just been reflecting on alot.

Pretty set on actions speaking and more specifically people acting out violently towards me for some cracked out reason and honestly I pass. I did my part you never did yours and now I'm made out to be the bad guy cause I don't talk to anyone and they wonder why and some even think they did something to me when it's not even guilt by anything. It's just that I have nothing to say and want to talk but don't want anything that happens in my life to get back to specific people. It's not you it's literally them. I have given chance after chance but yeah same results Everytime and I'm literally not crazy but my whole life around those same people...

I asked myself what the point of keep friends like that was the second I was out of my mothers government housing shack the first rime and that really changed me, for the better, I have an amazing new family all blended from different everything aside from beliefs and interests, yeah sometimes they get annoying, sometimes I feel like I ask to much but they have always been there when it matters. All of them. I seriously am so grateful for the family I have made for myself. We all know by now I don't tag people and I don't really post photos with friends (or more specifically their faces) anymore but that doesn't mean I'm lonely either I'm just living my life, like I did my best growing up, I was a child some shit went down then some more then it went back up all the way up and hit the fan then it wasnt even there for ten years then it came back but this time just went for the fan.

That didn't stop me, still graduated x3 working on x4, still doing my best even though I'm injured from getting hit that one year and just refused to actually admit it, im still adjusting to it, even right now it's throbbing it's been like this since moving from Winnipeg end of 2023 again with the help a couple literally 3 amazing people.

Certain people have seen me, certain people are yet to see me before my visit ends but it's not like there wont be other times, okay well for some of you, not all of you will see me, i make plans like last minite unless you make them with me and because I do not even kmow when i have time, transport, etc. I do my best to communicate with peoole but then dont ever really much conversation I like too but not if it feels one sided or cold or fake any of that like if you're giving off "i don't want/need you here" type of feelings that's cool but if you do that and not tell the person you're shitty, you're using me. I get those types of people all the time and honestly if I come up in 90 days for an answer of what I enjoy the most about you amd come up shirt after months or get ived for months I'm probably gonna make like jimmy neutron and blast away into your screen.

Again I'm grateful for everyone in my life currently them ones that go out the way to check up on me, send me shirt clips of videos, random bullshit messages and all thing between, I don't want it to change. Just grateful for thise people today.

Oh and 100% might be an ass sometimes but I definitely do not mean it that way you must understand I mean what I said maybe not the tone but what I said yes unless I correct myself on some dumb Grammer thing I'm only human after all.