#this is her bg3 self sooo

[1800duckhotline]

Ok well i can post this. I censored it. My beast with disorders

[percki]

lae’zel of crèche k’liir they could never make me hate you

[suitetarts]

mosquito bite

Astarion x Original Female Character, Dark Urge Tav (Good) Angst/Comfort, Blood No Bite, Kissing, Fluff (Link to AO3) On a peaceful night in the Elfsong Tavern, Astarion comes across a mosquito and sees himself: a blood-sucking parasite. He continues to grapple with his past traumas and future prospects. His lover, a strong-headed and good-hearted drow adventurer, tries her best to help him. Astarion and Delilah are both works-in-progress, struggling on their way to becoming better people and not giving themselves nearly enough credit. They talk and make out a little bit. :)

Now part of a (loose) series: [Next One Shot]

Gentle strums of a lyre filter through the bricks and beams of the Elfsong Tavern. Boisterous drunks and seedy patrons have long since found a berth to sleep, and only the wistful musician dreaming of lovers would dare to intrude on the silence of this twilight. The candles inside the second floor have been dormant for some time now. Long shadows from the oil street lamps drape over fine furnishings, reaching out with clawed hands at those who have yet to rest.

A familiar buzzing sound and a light whisper on his forearm brings Astarion’s attention away from the lyre’s muffled melody as he lies restlessly in his bed, a welcomed luxury even on another sleepless night. He watches the insect as it dances on his skin and prepares its proboscis to pierce him. Astarion smirks, then a flash of anger crosses his elegant features before crushing the bug under his index finger. A red stain is left behind, blood seeping into the crevices of his fingerprint. Astarion can’t help his body’s sanguine hunger pains at the find; a plump mosquito waltzing right up to him would have been a welcomed meal for the previous 200 years.

A creak of floorboards sends Astarion into a panic. His instincts scream at him; he’s fucked, he’s been caught. If it's Dufey or Godey, the elf will be fine if he can just lick the blood away quickly and try to keep his petulant mouth shut, lest they beat him for being a nuisance. If it's any of his abhorrent siblings, Mr. Favorite Leon especially, then he’ll be begged to share. And gods above, if it’s Cazador…

Delilah was on her way over to have a midnight chat with her pale lover, as they often did in the past few months since getting acquainted with each other and the tadpoles in their heads. Afterall, in addition to the rest of their shared misfortune, a drow and a vampire spawn had much in common: a lack of trust in and from others, and dashing good looks, for starters. As she gets closer however, a rustling and sudden stillness makes her pause. She carefully pulls the canopy back from Astarion’s bed and is greeted by wide red eyes the size of dinner plates. His breathing is short and stuttered, and he looks both defiant and terrified.

Astarion is only vulnerable for a brief moment however, before he forcefully sharpens his eyes and puts on a rehearsed smile as he whispers, “Oh, darling, I was just, erm–”

“‘Just dreaming of my sweet succulent Dellie, until I was bombarded with a thought of Halsin’s greasy hair?’” Delilah sings quietly in a mocking impersonation of his patented cheeky drawl. As playful as she sounds, the slant of her own maroon eyes and her limbs still frozen in place from when she first saw his state betrays her concern for him.

The gig is up, if it was ever even possible to lie to her anymore. Astarion shrinks as she sits beside him. “It haunts me that he uses the same soap bar everywhere,” he says halfheartedly. She knows how to get him to talk - sitting comfortably in his lying, sad sack house of cards until he’s ready to let it fall apart.

“Ew,” Delilah laughs, her eyebrows still stitched together in concern. His rehearsed smile fades into a quivering frown, and he turns to look at her through his dark eyelashes. Her heart swells with equal parts love and pity, as much as she knows he would hate the latter.

She leans towards him, moving her arms to hover over Astarion’s lean form. The body of a vampire is not the most conducive to cuddling, thanks to the lack of any mass that isn’t bone, muscle, or cold skin. And in particular, in her limited experience, Delilah has found vampires to be choosy and fickle when they want to be touched. Totally understandable situation, of course, with all that Astarion has been through, but it can be like reaching into a mystery box every time she seeks him out. Delilah has learned this careful dance of respect and waits for a response.

Astarion’s mouth turns slightly upward and he purposefully sways into her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she clings to his torso. He opens his mouth to speak, pauses, and starts again carefully, “You startled me.”

“Sorry. Were you having a bad dream?”

“Not technically.” After a pause, he continues in a higher tone of voice, “But also, the damned idiot down there doesn’t know how to keep a tune. It’s rather hard to sleep like this.”

She smiles into his chest. “You’re in a goose down feather bed with silk sheets at the finest tavern we’ve seen in months, and you’re complaining about the music?”

Astarion sneers and clicks his tongue against his fangs. “Darling, you’ve been sleeping on too many mushrooms and rocks underground if you think this is silk. The finest tavern in the Lower City is still in the Lower City. I feel sorry for your lack of standards.”

“By the gods, not this again.” Delilah huffs, her cackles raising in defense. “Silk is silk. You surface dwellers are the ones who make it so complicated, what with this being from Cormyr or that being from Calimshan.” As she’s talking with her hands, she feels a rumble of laughter in his chest and it only angers her further. She spits venom as she continues, “And for the record, all of your taverns are lacking from what I’ve seen so far. I’m loathe to see what kind of embarrassing shit holes you show me in your beloved Upper City.”

Astarion practically purrs at the sight of his little love all worked up. “I don’t recall you showing me anything better when we were in the Underdark.”

Delilah very nearly calls on the Weave within herself to smite him here and now. “You are so annoying–” 

She cuts herself off. His smug, smirking aura is palpable, in stark contrast to the frightened look she saw on his face before entering this embrace. Delilah recognizes this: a careful replacement of his mask. She can’t see his face from where she’s tucked into his chest, and Astarion’s tight hold is nearly a confession. She playfully struggles against him to free herself and he puts up a valiant effort, but any amount of force to keep her controlled could wake the others.

As Delilah turns to face him, her vision catches a small dark patch on his usually perfectly white shirt. She moves her body out of the way to allow light from the street to bring color to it, and she’s rather unsurprised to see its blood.

Astarion follows her eyes down onto the sleeve covering his bicep and groans. He turns his other arm around to see the mosquito’s body and the blood within has been smeared off. A few months ago he would have nearly mourned the loss of perfectly good blood and sucked what he could salvage out of the linen fibers like an animal. Tonight, though, it's just an inconvenience. Even as he complains, a genuine smile in his voice seeps through, “Gods. I just bleached this too.”

She pulls at the fabric of his shirt with a sigh. “Come on then, my love. Let’s go take care of it before the stain sets.”

The pair make their way out of the tavern and into the street, stealing a washing board from some poor sod’s balcony on their way to the nearby public fountain and freshwater spigot. The late hour has Delilah and Astarion almost sleep drunk now that they’ve left the comfort and stillness of their rooms, although their whispers and softened footsteps are tame compared to the shadowy debauchery of the darkened Lower City streets.

Delilah clutches at her stomach as they approach the fountain, quickly finding a seat on the cold marble as she contains her mirth. “I couldn’t believe the look on Shadowheart’s face. She was so mad.”

“Ha! You’d think I stabbed her,” Astarion giggles.

They both work through the laughter, with her preparing the bleaching chemicals and him beginning to pull the stained shirt over his head. The streets are mostly empty, but not barren enough for Astarion to want to flaunt his infernal branding. Before he can even truly hesitate, Delilah hands him her outer robes to cover up with. His bashful glance is all the thanks she needs, and she quickly paws at him to get him out of his white shirt.

Delilah attempts to make quick work of the stain, being careful not to unnecessarily stress the aged fabric that Astarion has spent so many years tending to. His eyes twinkle boyishly as he watches her fumble with the washing board.

“Any harder and my poor blouse will burst at the seams. How old are you to be washing fine clothes so carelessly?”

Her head whips around murderously fast, her eyes on fire and her mouth already in a scowl. “Like I’ve told you a hundred times, I’ve never had to take care of my own clothes before, you ass!”

Astarion laughs at Delilah’s anger, although he quickly corrects himself with a series of “No, no, no!” ‘s as she appears to grind his shirt mercilessly into the metal. A smug smile emerges from her face as she reveals the shirt looking no worse for wear. He dramatically sighs, having been duped by her using his own sleight of hand tricks against him.

At this rather mundane affair, the world seems to pause. The soft yellow glow of dozens of oil lamps, the swaying of flower baskets as the sun’s light begins to set the horizon ablaze, the foggy echoes of jolly parties hanging low to the street’s cobblestones as the city gets ready for a new day, it all pales in comparison to her. Fiery passion but also seemingly limitless understanding and grace for a wretch like himself, and she’s an attractive, powerful drow? It’s almost something he could have expected to see in a porn pamphlet. Astarion can’t help himself from retreating to the hiding spaces of his flirts and creature comforts, but she makes it so easy to be real.

“Del, I–” Astarion starts, but he stutters and loses his steam. As far as she’s concerned, the whole city falls quiet at the sound of her name from his lips. He finds Delilah’s gaze, the deep red wine of her irises reflecting the world around her except the one thing she’s staring at.

Her lips pull sweetly into a smile as her wet, warm hand finds his icy grip on the fountain’s edge. Delilah takes her time before she breaks the silence.  “This is nice, isn’t it?”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever had anything this nice,” Astarion says with a bitter laugh. He pulls at the collar of her robe with his free hand, feeling the soft fabric shift over the scars on his back. 

“We can have this all the time when the brain is gone,” she coos.

Astarion shakes his head, taking her index finger in his hand and pointing it towards the sunrise. “Not this. Not when my tadpole is gone.” He pulls their hands back towards his chest and sighs.

Delilah hums in thought. She could be difficult in her bratty drow fashion, but instead she says mournfully, “This is so beautiful and warm. I'm sorry.”

“Before I got kidnapped, I’d forgotten. And being warm was just–” A parade of lovers flashes across Astarion’s mind, hundreds and thousands of warm kisses and steamy nights all ending at Cazador’s gilded doors. He grunts out of his nose, gripping Delilah’s hand tighter. “I learned to stop missing it. But to lose it again?”

“Everything is different now, Astarion.” She clasps her other hand over their conjoined hold, pivoting on the ball of her foot to kneel in front of him at the fountain. “We can travel the world by its shadows and find a way to cure you.”

“You have no idea how much I want to believe what you say, my love,” he murmurs, too tired to bite his words.

Delilah’s anger is a constant simmer in her blood, perhaps leftover from the black, murderous tar of Bhaal’s heritage. She has struggled against this part of herself in every way, shape, and form, but seeing Astarion like this gets her boiling.

“Believing is for children and liars.” Delilah’s soft features sour on her words, the acidity pulling Astarion away from his self-loathing. “Belief in shitty gods has done neither of us any favors. No, trust me,” she spits. He leans in towards her and hangs on every syllable, her breath hot on his face. “You helped me break my chains to Bhaal. I will cure you of this curse. Trust me–”

Lips crush against hers, Astarion’s grip on her hands loosened by the conviction in her voice and the sweet nectar of her mouth. Delilah gives a short muffled protest before pulling her hands up to cup his face. He opens his eyes briefly, seeing the morning sunlight dancing on her freckled gray neck and his blindingly porcelain arm. Two delicate creatures of darkness, here in the sun. Who is to say he doesn’t belong?

Astarion kisses her and kisses her and kisses her, until his teeth hurt and her hair is twisted in knots in his hands. She licks into him; her warm, pulsing tongue dragging across his fangs. He groans, his muscles tensing painfully like an over-tuned instrument. “You drive me mad,” he gasps into her mouth.

Delilah pulls away, touching a finger to her tongue and almost disappointed to find it unbloodied. The radiant flames she lit in his chest threatens to burn him whole. She’s wrecked and slovenly, a wretch at a public fountain with hair hanging loosely across her face and a muddy flush to her cheeks, and to Astarion she’s positively divine. He’s starving, pulling her in for more.

[valgeristik]

fellas i have managed to combine bg3 brainrot WITH noel brainrot so god willing im gona post more of that unhinged babygirl* covered in blood soon anyway. him 💁‍♀️

took me like a fucking hour to settle on a face that fits her even just a lil bit

[lemongogo]

a random OC ask for you (for zaihala): what is your OC's favorite memory?

also: if they were dropped in a random city for a day with a pouch full of gold/relevant currency and no obligations whatsoever, what would they be doing?

aah omg this is so sweet ehehe, thank you for the qs :3c

i like to imagine that zaihala is an avid stonemason and mosaicist .. i think she is enraptured by the idea of taking something so resilient in nature and molding it under the guide of mallet and chisel . she's a humanist intrigued by the natural world, by geology.. by the incredible craftsmanship that goes into such a trade .

if she were to be dropped into some random city with the freedom of both time and money, i think you could find her in the market , sourcing materials or tesserae she couldnt otherwise acquire at her local workshop. . glass, shells, ceramics etc from vendors or acquainting herself with quarry tradesmen in order 2 procure the stone that best fits her vision.its an obsession..u literally have to pull her away or she'll be there all day

as for her FAVORITE MEMORY!!! omg.. i keep picturing her as this fresh face in baldurs gate, having just moved there on her own , sworn to independence but feeling like maybee she made a mistake. . maybe she was too impulsive, chasing her desire to pursue stonework on a whim, not having thought abt the consequences or the finances or what have u .. but she takes the chance to meet up with some local artists on an outing just outside the city .and its just sooo .. reaffirming to her in that moment. to be surrounded by people who are drunk on wine & laughter and to see the sprawling city just before her as the sun is setting..and the wind is warm..gentle...and it leaves her feeling so content..like a feeling of peace that swells up within her and lets her know tht she made the right choice. that it will be OKAYYU!!!!!!!!!! i think that's gotta be in one of her top ten.. perhaps.

[astrxealis]

super busy but hi i miss ffxiv i played again today raghh happy 10th anniv the rising event makes me cry i love ffxiv :(( but anyway! bg3 thoughts in tags!

[hijackalx]

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS TEASING YOU +18

characters included: karlach, shadowheart, lae’zel

MALE COMPANIONS

SHADOWHEART

she switches between innocent/playful teasing to flirty teasing so fast. one minute she’ll be making a bad joke at your expense and the next she’s whispering in your ear about how she can make it up to you

she’s RUTHLESS when it comes to getting you super flustered— your face will be on FIRE and you’ll feel like you’re about to explode but it only encourages her

not shy about teasing you in public either. doesn’t care who sees or hears even a little bit and likes to use it to her advantage to embarrass you lol. some public humiliation, if you will

likes the idea of teasing you in bed but she ends up being too impatient. sometimes she can hold off long enough but it ends up feeling like she’s torturing you both 😹😹 any amount of teasing is relatively short lived

LAE’ZEL

kind of aggressive while teasing— it also feels like it just comes out of nowhere sometimes lol. she finds ways to turn the most bland convos into something suggestive

her teasing usually has a “rivalry” vibe that results in sooo much sexual tension. loves when you push back and give the same energy. it’s like a competition of seeing who can get the biggest reaction out of the other

not shy about it in public but only because she doesn’t understand why it would be considered inappropriate lmao. she’ll unknowingly fluster you by bringing up something you said/did during your flirty banter in front of other people 😭😭

whether or not she teases during sex depends on her mood; you never know what you’re gonna get, she’ll keep you on your toes. has a good sense of self-discipline so she can tease for HOURS without letting up

KARLACH

teases in the most immature ways ever. the type to get you pissed because she won’t stop making fun of you for losing a game/battle lol

likes to get you riled up, she thinks it’s so hot to see that fire in your eyes 🔥 whether it’s through competitive teasing or getting you horny and leaving you unfulfilled 😹. also really likes sneaky, teasing touches— like smacking your ass while you’re bent over

actually pretty reserved when it comes to flirting or teasing in public. sticks to innuendos or more subtle things. she tends to burst out laughing or make herself blush when she can tell everyone else is picking up on it

a tease in bed but won’t admit it. won’t give you what you want while acting totally innocent about it— the type to respond to ‘touch me’ by purposely kissing/touching all the wrong places

[mashiraostail]

Found you through your BG3 stuff and it’s so good I’m foaming at the mouth

Could I request soft dom Karlach with a fem reader, maybe with a bit of praise thrown in if that’s alright?

Thank you I owe u my life

omg ask and u shall receive and it wont be self serving to me at all even a little!

I love Karlach and I love women this was sooo epic

NSFW under the cut :3

"Oh stop it-" Karlach is cringing as Shadowheart quite literally wrings blood from her hair, "you'll make me sick!'

"I can hardly help it, I'm always in the splash zone when I go into a fight with you." Shadowheart doesn't look happy about the situation either, but what must be done must be done.

"You certainly wouldn't hear me complaining, though I do like a more...direct method of delivery." Astarion some how came out the other side fairly clean.

"Oh come on, enough with the blood and guts stuff." Karlach groans, "so gross."

"What, are you trying to save your appetite?" Shadowheart laughs and flicks her hair over her shoulder, sending a small splatter of blood onto Astarion's arm. The two of them made a terribly snarky, gossipy duo. Karlach was just glad they had made friends.

"So what if I am?" Karlach crosses her arms, "I've already been denied ten years why should I be any longer? Especially at the expense of your grimy hair."

Astarion laughs at that, "no, you're right. All the power to you my friend." He looks around a moment, "say where is your favorite midnight snack?"

Karlach whirls around too, "oh shit, have we lost her?"

"She is a slippery one." Shadowheart nods.

"Kalrach would know." Astarion agrees. Karlach guffaws, shoves him. There were plenty of good things about getting her tune up, the kissing, the sex, the cuddling, and the knocking the wind out of Astarion every time he said something gross, odd, or rude.

"Cut it out." She tries to wipe the warmth off her face, being on fire was hot enough, why be embarrassed too.

"Hey! You left without me?!" You're appearing over a small hill, a new, heavy looking bag on your shoulder, "did I take that long?"

"We thought you ran away." Astarion shakes his head, "you took forever."

"Gale asked me to pick up some things." You hike the bag up your shoulder, "camp isn't far though, I guess we picked a good spot with this little market so close and all. What'd you all get into?" You stop once you've joined the group, "oh Shadowheart you smell awful-"

"Imps. Imps and goblins." Shadowheart mutters, "it's always imps and goblins."

"Together?"

"No."

"Sorry I missed it then." You laugh a little. Karlach takes the bag off your shoulder. "Oh you've probably been fighting all afternoon I can-"

"Don't worry about it, make up for leaving you behind. I always carry the stuff."

"I told you to go on without me, I guess I didn't think you actually would though." You laugh a bit.

"Well in your absence Karlach has told us all about how, when she does get you to herself you always-"

"Stop!" She shoves Astarion hard enough to make him stumble, "oh I should light you up." Shadowheart is just snickering to herself.

"I didn't-" She addresses your horrified look, "I didn't tell them anything I swear." She holds her hands up, "and even if I had, which I didn't! It's nothing to be embarrassed about, you're killer in bed. Probably just make them jealous, that's why I don't say anything."

You will the color out of your face at her comment and make the short walk back to camp with silly but comfortable conversation flowing between your little group. The sun's set in the sky by now so you're glad to be so close to camp, otherwise it may have been difficult to find your way back.

When you do make it back Gale looks excited to see you all, "did they have everything?"

"Uh...dunno, I'm just the mule." Karlach shrugs, and holds the bag out, "you'll wanna talk to the manager." She jabs a thumb to you, his gaze follows.

"They did I just- Karlach!" You brush the bag over the Gale and hold her wrist, "look! You're all cut up!"

"Oh am I?" She looks down at her arm, sure enough there were a myriad of claw marks on her forearm, "aw shit, look at that. Didn't even notice, little buggers. Enjoy your stuff Gale I've gotta patch up." You follow her away without finishing your afterthought for Gale.

"Halsin's left for the day, he said he had some friends in the area who may have information for us." You frown, "how's Shadowheart?"

"She needs to rest up before she can use anymore healing magic." Karlach shakes her head, "they're barely some scrapes, I'll be fine for now, I'll go clean up, then well...I dunno I'm yours."

"Let me help, it will be easier with two." You look hopefully up at her, "there's a river close by, we can clean you off and patch you up." She's grinning.

"Come on, you're not worried about a few little scrapes are you? Do you know who I am?" She looks delighted despite her words.

"I'm very familiar, that's why I want to help."

"You're worried? About little old me?" She's squeezing your shoulders as you walk together, "or do you just want to play nurse?"

"Maybe both." You glance up at her, she's practically buzzing.

"Don't tease me." She warns, "you'll ruin my night."

Of course you'd never do a thing like that. Though cleaning her up does take precedent, despite her groaning and whining.

"We need to make sure it's clean, then we can wrap it up." You hand her a shirt to tear up into some makeshift bandages. She uses her free hand and her teeth to do so, she certainly notices you shift and avert your gaze.

"What are you all shy about?" She laughs at the color on your face.

"You know." You tut and frown at her, though it's not very believable.

"What? Is it me?" She watches you use one piece of the shirt to wipe the blood, "Am I making you act all shy?"

"You're always so mean to me-"

"Its me isn't it? You like me, don't you?"

"Oh stop." You press a damp hand to you cheek, trying to cool off.

"What? Tell me all about it! Do you fantasize about me? Have dreams about me?" She's leaning towards you, her voice teasing. You use another piece of cloth the wipe her arm off with some water.

You scoff and look away from her, it just makes her laugh.

"Your silence speaks volumes! Tell me!"

"No!" You use three strips of thicker fabric to wrap her arm up, "I won't!"

"So you don't deny it!" She catches you by your waist, "tell me, or you are not getting a single thing from me tonight-"

"You're evil! You should know how it feels to be denied! Have a heart!"

"Oh I've got one, wanna see?" She's laughing, nosing at your jaw, of course you tilt your head for her, you could never deny her, despite yourself. "Come on, just give me a little taste."

"I don't have anything to tell you!" The crimson engulfing your face said otherwise.

"Uh-huh." Karlach wraps her arms around your back, "can I have a kiss?"

You indulge her without saying anything else about the subject, she seems contended with it for now. You have a feeling you aren't quite out of the woods though.

"You look so pretty when you're embarrassed." She holds you by your chin, "I can't help myself." Her hands are tugging at your shirt, you help her slide it off. She takes in the sight of you with as much enthusiasm as always you can practically hear her brain knocking around in her skull, every thud screaming with excitement, 'TITS!!!!'

"I'm so fucking lucky-" She's giddy with it, kissing down your neck and shoulders, probably planning her attack on your chest. "You're such a sweet thing, gods, I don't know how I have it in me to behave all day knowing this is the sight hiding under all that armor you wear."

You gladly clamber into her lap, she's ducking down into your chest, her hands exploring the newly exposed flesh unabashedly. "You're really very pretty, you know?" She says it into your sternum, you're trying desperately to undress her, eventually she takes pity on you and helps it along. When she stands to shake the last of her clothes off all you can do is drop to your knees, she laughs.

"Well I wasn't gonna boss you around or anything." She's grinning at you and gods you love her, it's all you can think about, you're kissing at her stomach rubbing your face into her warm skin, she just laughs some more.

"Aw look't you, so sweet. What is it? You wanna take care of me?" You make a choked off noise at that, nodding and pulling her closer, it's a frantic nod though, rushed and almost desperate.

"Alright, alright, don't start crying now." She pulls you away to look at you for a moment, "you aren't off the hook, but I'll take a detour." She slings a leg over your shoulder and her hand tangled in your hair on impulse and you close your eyes, if only to hide how far back your eyes roll into your skull. Occasionally you feel her nails scrape the nape of your neck. You were pressing your lips to her, running long strokes over her with your tongue and thumbing at the the wetness whenever you needed to catch your breath. Karlach hadn't taken her eyes off you, she was practically singing you praises and it made your stomach knot up desperately.

She uses her grip on your hair to guide you along but she doesn't need to do much, you already know what to do. She pays extra care to pull all your hair off your face to get the best look at you she can.

"Gods, look't you, pretty girl, just like that, 's perfect." Even her moans are perfect, it's obscene. If anyone asked you she should be locked up, wearing a big flashing warning sign. All you can do is moan, hold onto her thighs, beg to be impossibly closer.

"What're you moaning at?" She's grinning devilishly, "you just like the sound of my voice don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do-" The way she tugs on your hair pulls a perfectly lovely moan out of you, and it makes her laugh in a warm, fond sort of way that makes you want to lay down and spread your legs open for her.

"Alright then, lucky for you I love talking to pretty girls." By the grace of some god you find it in you to play a bit coy with her.

"You think I'm pretty?" You're looking up at her with perfect blown out pupils, and swollen red lips wearing her cum like lipgloss, matter of fact it's spread out pretty evenly over your cheeks and chin too.

"Oh fuck-" She drops her head against the tree she's been leaning on, "I'll blow my fucking lid, cut that out. You wouldn't be able to survive the things you're making me want to do to you."

"I'd try, for you." If she had something to say to that you don't let her get it out. You realized your mouth had been too far away for far too long. You missed the feeling of her tugging at your hair, pushing and pulling you to her own accord.

"Oh gods- dammnit-" She's bucking her hips into your face, her hold on your head especially tight, she groans, it's from her chest, low and thankful. You feel her stutter with the orgasm rolling over her and she pushes you away. Her chest heaving.

"You're a dream, you know?" She's pulling you to your feet, she laughs when she has to steady you a bit, then she kisses you. "Taking such good care of me all night. Looking so pretty while you do."

You feel her hands on between your shoulder blades, she's kissing down your jaw and neck, you're putty in her hands, waiting to be put where she wanted you.

"Come on," She's picking you up, wrapping your legs around her middle, "tell me, before I could touch you like this, and you had to take care of yourself. Tell me what you thought of. I'll tell you mine."

"It's so embarrassing-" You honest to god whine at her, if she were a stronger woman she'd be able to suppress the shudder it sent up her spine.

"Tell me, I'll give you whatever you want, all night if you do."

"It was just you-" You groan as she sets you down on your back and crawls on top of you, "your voice, I could hear it in my head so clearly." She's grinning from ear to ear, impish and coy.

"What was I saying? Was I bossing you around?" She laughed a little because gods you were an idiot, all she had to do was lay you down and you were spreading your legs for her.

"Sometimes-" Your chest was stuttering.

"Oh?" She pushes the syllable through pursed, curious lips, "what about the other times?"

"You're moaning," you're bucking your hips, searching for pay off, something anything the heat was unbearable. "Saying I'm good, calling me pretty-" You couldn't help the hand you brought down to rub over yourself, it was just something else for Karlach to look at.

"You like when I call you pretty?" She's attacking your chest with kisses that leave a burning trail in their wake, "you touch yourself and imagine me watching, calling you pretty?" She laughs that laugh again, the one that makes you wanna lay face down for her. "Maybe you're just as far gone as I am."

"I definitely am." You're practically begging her to touch, after 10 years of holding back she finds it almost impossible to deny you.

"Wanna see if it's as good as when you dreamed about it?" She's pulling you up, turning you over, you go because you're so stupid for her when you get like this, she could walk you off a cliff if she wanted.

" Are you gonna make yourself cum for me?"

This was overwhelming, you felt drunk, your emotions were running so high, you were so horny you could sob, "I'd do whatever you want-" She  was kissing at the backs of your thighs, you could feel her breath on your desperate fingers.

"Oh, careful pretty girl you're giving me too much power." She's laughing, her voice was low against your skin and it made you shudder. "I might not be so nice next time."

"No, no, you can do whatever you want to me Karlach- fuck-" You gasp, feeling her thumb brush against you.

"Whatever I want?" You can hear the grin in her voice, impishly charming.

"Yeah, anything-"

"I could tie you up?" She nipped at your skin and that paired with the thought of it alone could get you to cum, "yes please-" Your eyes were glossed over, you were pushing your hips back into her, begging for a firmer touch.

"Oh gods, you've gotten yourself into trouble now. And here I thought you were a nice girl." One of her hands pulls your upper thigh, right were it meets your ass, to get a better look at you.

"You know," Her other hand joins, taking the other thigh, you can feel her nails pressing your skin, "really I can't think of anything else to say but pretty. You are so pretty for me. I can't blame myself for thinking you were a good girl, how could anyone so pretty be bad?"

All you can do is moan, practically cry at it.

"You know it's everything too, not just this." Her thumb brushes you again and you actually think you feel your soul leave your body. "The noises you make, and that pretty red blush you get every time you look up at me. Like I'm deflowering you every time I touch you. Ravishing you, scandalizing you."

"Karlach, please-" She hadn't asked you to beg, that was all on your own accord.

She makes a pouting noise, faux sympathy, "alright, I'll give in. Tell me where you want me, pretty girl. I can't say no to face like your's."

You don't know where to start, you want it all honestly. Lucky for you she's started, replacing your hand with her own then slipping her fingers into you. You were melting into the ground below letting out a desperate warbling moan mixed with a handful of profanities.

"Good or bad-" She cautions and you shake your head, the momentary loss of friction makes your eyes water desperately.

"Good! Good, Karlach, please, fuck-"

You were whining and moaning into your arm, which had been previously holding your chest off the ground. Your eyebrows turn up at it, "oh fuck-"

You were acutely aware of how well she knew your body at this point. Every stroke into you had you moaning, rumbling from your chest, the momentum she'd picked up carrying with a bounce in your cries.

For a split second she was gone, stopping to wrap her arm around your front, as quickly as the touch was gone it was back. Then her free hand was in your hair dragging you up to press your back against her chest and fuck it hurt a little but in a way that made your spine tingle and ripped the most beautiful fucking moan Karlach had ever heard out of you.

"Oh sweetheart-" She moans it into your neck, "you'll kill me at this rate." Her arm wraps around your middle and you grip her forearm with your hand, the other coming around your back to hold onto her there.

She picked back up to pace quickly with you against her chest, bounding forward with unrelenting force that hit you so hard she could hear it in your voice.

"That's it, you pretty thing, just like that, huh? That's perfect." She's cooing into the crook of your neck, "good, good job."

"Fuck-" Your nails dig into her arm, "fuck me, Karlach-"

"The mouth on you lovely girl," She groans into your neck, pulling you into a sloppy but stupidly hot kiss.

"When it was me, waiting to finally touch you, this is what I thought about." You can feel her breath behind your ear when she speaks, "all the different ways I could completely undo you, how good you'd be for me while I did, how you would beg for me to do it. I'd never make you worry about anything, no." She tsks, "I thought about how much fun it would be, taking care of you. I got off thinking about your pretty, empty head, getting railed by me. How'd I do?"

"I'm gonna cum-" You somehow manage to choke it out, "'m gonna- fuck!" Your eyebrows knit together and of course she grins.

"Go 'head, I wanna see it." She was kissing your shoulders a hand coming down to thumb at your clit, you keen loud and still bouncing, "wanna hear it-" She murmured into your skin, "I definitely wanna feel it too."

"Oh fuck-" You gasp, your eyes roll back from the shock of it. Thank god she can't see your face because you must have been drooling. The jerking tenseness of your hips and the way you called out her name like she was an angel would drive her insane for months to come all she can do is sink her teeth into your shoulder.

If it wasn't for her arm around you you'd have slumped to the ground.

"That good?" She laughs and you nod.

"Come on, let's clean you up." She lays you down and takes the extra pieces of cloth you had on hand to wipe you clean, "are you alright?" You only nod again and she chuckles,

"and she was too stunned to speak. Another knock out performance by Karlach."

That gets a snort out of you and you shove her arm, "come off it, K."

"Uh oh, someone sounds tired." Her hand rubs your stomach, you're purring like a cat.

"No I'm not." You drag your hand down her stomach, obviously downwards and she laughs.

"Easy there solider, I think the others are expecting to do a least a little adventuring tomorrow. You look ready to pass out anyway." She gathers your clothes up, then you where you'd crumpled into the floor.

"Come on solider." She hoists you over her shoulder, "let's go to bed, I'll get you all tucked in nice and warm in my tent."

"Yeah, okay....good idea K." You were content to dangle over her shoulder, "K, I love you."

"OH I know you do, pretty." She pats your backside, "but I love you more."

You gasp as she drops you onto her bedroll, "no way!"

"Yes way." She's kissing and nuzzling your neck while you laugh, "admit it before I have to ravish you right here in this tent to prove it!"

For as delightful as your touch was your laugh was just as intoxicating, you nodded desperately trying to squirm away from the ticklish kisses and bites.

"Lay down." Karlach pulls away, smiling, "I don't think there's anyone on the planet who's ever loved anyone as much as I love you." She thumbs at your bottom lip, "and I don't think there's anyone in the world half as a pretty as you are. Sleep tight knowing that." You preen at her words as she settles down into bed with you.

"Let's go to sleep, we haven't go much nighttime left, no thanks to you."

[escxelle]

meeting the bg3 cast at liverpool comic con!

i met the bg3 cast at liverpool comic con 😭😭 i still can't believe it 😭😭

i gave them all little duckies and jennifer english asked me where i got them so i said it was from my step-brother's wedding! bc he hid them around the venue for the guests to find :) to which jen said that she loved it because weddings are boring with all the middle aged men (she was so real for that) in the bg3 panel she said what shadowheart was in french so i tried to teach jen and aliona it in welsh. jen, you're amazing but your welsh is not 😭 aliona got it pretty darn close so she said that she'd teach her 😭 i also got the picture with both jen and aliona and they stood either side of me doing peace signs. i put my arms around them (as i was in the middle of them) and in the picture one of my arms is just under aliona's arm. just about, you can see that i am also doing a peace sign. gay people, huh? ✌️

i met devora wilde first so i was sooo nervous i just stood there like 🧍‍♂️ and said the dorkiest lamest thing ever: "you have nice handwriting" 💀 which she does but i had one shot and got so side tracked by how pretty she looked, i fumbled 😔 (she was also the best dressed but shhh don't tell anyone) also i cosplayed lae'zel and dev complimented it. listen, when a pretty person compliments you what else are you meant to do but NOT immediately shut down???

i don't wanna be delululu but i feel like i vibed with theo so much like he was such an easy person to talk to???? if it wasn't for the universe i feel like i'd still be stood there talking to him honestly. he called me darling too 😭 and he told me a joke that he wanted to say on the bg3 panel but stopped himself from saying, those details i'll keep between me and theo ;) he's also so incredibly handsome it's literally insane. like he was next to neil so for a while i was at the front of the long ass queue for neil and honestly i was looking more at theo 😭 ily neil i really do but theo was right there, how could i not?? (and Elliot fucking Page was to the other side of neil - yes Elliot Page). hence please kindly consider me a wyll girlie (gender neutral) from right now to forever more. (also whoever said at the panel that wyll's name in welsh is pronounced like "oi ll" tysm ilysm it made two welsh people very happy!!)

i had the photo op with neil newbon too and i look like a pea stood next to him. he's so fucking tall!!! he also randomly winked at me while i was waiting in the queue for the autograph like sir ???? understandable i originally wanted him to write "let's take ibroprufen together" on my picture as a joke but he said he wasn't gonna tell me to self-medicate (100% valid) but listen, he gave me a look and honestly? worth it. it was like a stern librarian look yk? anyways, i won't ever forget it. he also said "i'm all pointy ears my love" twice to me (once at the photo op and the other at the table autograph 😭) neil's handwriting is also rubbish (sorry neil), probably didn't help that he was most likely in a rush to get through everyone (he queue was so big even after closing 😭) but i only know what he wrote as the quote because he told me 😭 "let's go hurt someone" which probs is the closest astarion line to "let's take ibroprufen together" lol. neil was also the only one to ask if he could put his arm around me during the selfie at the table which was so nice and considerate <3

and finally, my name starts with an E so i just want to tell you all how each of them write captials Es:

- dev & jen = curly E (like a backwards 3)

- neil = one curl with a line in the middle (like a C with a line in the middle)

- theo = standard E (literally just E - can't blame him though because i do the same lol)

do whatever you want with that information

now i just need sam and tim and i've got the whole main cast!!

p.s. don't ask me how much this cost 😭 the sum is mighty but i wouldn't change any of it for the world! they're all so fucking lovely and i had the bestest time even if it was just for a few minutes of a conversation! the experience is crazy. this is the first time i've ever done anything like this and it's so grounding to realise that the people who you idolise are literally just people, yk? like they're just some guy, they're just some girl, they're just a random person at the end of the day. and it's the best feeling in the world i think. it's so grounding i can't describe it in any other way.

p.p.s. this fandom is so fucking lovely. i talked to so many bg3 fans and you're all fucking awesome. i even shared social media links and took selfies with a few :) i even spent the majority of the day with my friend who i went with and someone who was behind us in the neil photo op queue 😭 we all trauma bonded (because the neil queues are nothing but traumatic 😭) and made a game of who's heart rate could go the highest (it was my friend with 160), we don't encourage you to do the same btw! pls look after yourselves <3

p.p.p.s. no parasocial relationships were created over the course of the weekend! they are people who yall know nothing about, remember!!!

tldr: 10/10 trip 100% worth the super expensive train from wales :)

[thefangdomcryptid]

You know, it's hard to be an Trans Non-Binary Lesbian that is also AroAce and plays BG3. Self-inserts are almost impossible because nothing would even resemble how I would want ME to look.

Sooo I create OC's that aren't me, so I can still romance whomever I want without feeling weird. Another thing which I find hard is who to romance. I love Bae'zel, but she's like a bit rough in act 1, and Shadowheart is... well... also not entirely my type of person. Karlach would be the only romanceable female option for me, and I will eventually romance her, but I just don't like her ending (yes she can go back to Avernus with you by her side but I just want her engine fixed and live happily ever after okay?) That's basically it LoL. Karlach is the only romanceable option I am truly attracted to. The non-romanceable person is Dame Aylin. UGH.

I HAVE A TYPE OKAY???? AND THEY CAN BOTH BREAK ME LIKE A GLOWSTICK😭

[chaos-enchanted]

BG3 OC role call (Part 2/?)

My Sorcerer: Tavarla

Background: Charlatan  Despite her considerable talent for he arcane, Tavarla spent most of her time profiting from strangers with cheap tricks, but saved her real talents for those willing to pay a higher price. She is essentially my “evil-ish playthrough” Tav. She has never really fit in with her kin, so she wasn’t all too concerned with helping Zevlor, I am yet to decide whether she will side with the goblins or not, but so long as her interest coincide with what is being asked of her she may help others. However, I have a feeling as soon as it comes to this sudden status and power associate with being a True Soul, its definitely conceivable that she’ll revel in it and exploit it to her full ability. As far as she’s concerned, like Astarion, she’s more focused on controlling it than getting rid of it (so long as it doesn’t make her sprout mouth-tentacles)  Romance- She’s definitely spoiled for choice: - Shadowheart and Astarion: she really vibes with these 2 the most- their attitude, sass and outlook on life, in general she just gets a long with them really well. - Lae'zel: she enjoys getting on her nerves and testing her self-appointed claim to authority, but at the same time she really likes her ‘get shit done’ kind attitude and warrior prowess. I mean after all Tavarla does have Red Dragon Bloodline, and Lae’zel did mention how determined she was to one day ride a Red Dragon sooo... - Also she has a bit of a thing for Minthara, so I think she in the end she probably will side with the goblins (sorry Halsin)

[avelera]

My good Dark Urge Paladin is in Act 3 of BG3 and ngl, I headcanon her as rebelliously wishing she could do good and save people and be a hero the way some teens want to be mean little edgelords and boooy does Act 3 deliver on that plotline. Her whole life she’s wished she could be someone who could save lives and help people and make life better for others instead of being forced to be a bloodthirsty murderer like her father wants, and now she finally CAN.

And anyway, Act 3 has sooo many opportunities for self sacrificing goodness it’s actually got me/her a bit choked up. Saving all the Gondians and being the last one to escape. Rescuing kids from hags. Consoling her companions that she cares for them as they are and knowing from a place of painful experience (ie Bhaal) that godlike power only makes people more terrified and insecure, not less, and watching her companions blossoms and find peace…

Honestly, paladin was the breakthrough for me trying to play a good Dark Urge. For anyone else, her do-gooder nature would seem saccharine but the background of wanting so badly to escape the pit of nightmares that was the cult of Bhaal and seeing over and over again that yes, she can help people, she can make a difference, she can save just one more soul from her father’s untimely grasp. Every smile, every hand extended in friendship or to help isn’t weakness, it’s an enormous, life threatening act of defiance for her and Act 3 man, it’s giving a lot of positive reinforcement to the idea in a way that has me a little bit silly choked up at the emotions this paladin Durge would be feeling, finally able to live her dream, even if it’s just for a little while before her father inevitably tries to destroy her for it.

[bleedingheart-s]

🎫 gush pass because I'm curious about your BG3 ocs 🔍👀

BWEHDHFLAKFHFJDU HIIIII KUROH 🩵 THANK YOU FOR THE ASK AND THE EXCUSE TO GUSH ABOUT MY BABIES I WAS LITERALLY ROTATING TJEM EARLIER

some of them are with characters other than gale who i don't self ship with (yet- i'm tempted to self ship with pretty much every other companion too bless my polyamorous heart)

this ended up being so long i'm putting it under a read more

nox- fighter. dumbass (affectionate). Tries their best. Very reluctant leader. Absolutely no sense of direction (Astarion regularly asks why they all let Nox hold the map... it's currently upside down in their hands). Tiefs don't usually come in a green flavor so Nox is sort of shunned even within tief circles. They're also big so they inevitably attract attention- that's why they hate leading. Their biological parents abandoned them, and they were raised by humans (who loved them dearly). Misses the farm they grew up on. Just wants a quiet life and a couple of kids. Favorite color: blue, specifically the sort of soft light glowing blue of the Weave because its usually coming from Gale. They're SOOO protective. Them and Karlach are besties. Has more tattoos than shown.

ledi- paladin. She's smaller than your average aasimar and she has a bit of a complex over it. She WILL puff up her wings to appear bigger (it barely works.) She's sort of cold at the beginning, but she opens up as the story goes on. Her eyes are haloed by wings because she was rendered permanently blind in a fight (kind of like Kanan in Star Wars Rebels) (details pending). This changed her, she ended up switching her paladin oath from Devotion to Vengeance. She has a bit of a rage streak at the start of the game. Looks up to Aylin like a big sister. Hates Shadowheart. (I haven't gotten to act 2 with her yet but I think Ledi would want to kill her for what happens at the end.) Falls in love with Wyll and learns a lot from him. Won't touch alcohol. Likes having her hair played with. Preens when she's bored. Has a very... interesting dynamic with Raphael.

freya- ranger. Left her family behind as a teenager. Used to spending a lot of time alone in nature. mean lesbian. Hits it off with Lae'zel almost immediately, and they admire each other greatly (and in a very gay way). Takes no shit. If looks could kill, she'd have murdered a continent. Just wants to go back to her neck of forest and 'live in fucking peace'. Has a 'oh no he's hot' moment when she first meets Halsin after rescuing him. Completely self sufficient, she doesn't like relying on others (trust issues much? /j). Ends up making good friends with Jaheira and Minsc. Can drink half of Faerûn under a table. If you can make her do it, she snorts when she laughs. Only Karlach has so far. Minsc has gotten close.

livia- my s/i. Lore bard. Uhhh idk what to say about her 😭

i also have two new ocs i haven't managed to talk about yet!

sethe- resisting durge. tiefling, wildshaping druid. Has difficulty controlling their wildshape, so they're liable to turn into a pure white direwolf with eyes so blue they glow at any given point. Honestly prefers being in wildshape. She bonds with Halsin over this. They struggle greatly with allowing anyone to get close to them due to their urge, so Halsin is the only person in their memory to do so. Won't admit it, but she likes being scratched behind the ears while in wildshape. Better at showing positive emotions in wildshape as well (tail wagging, playful behavior.) doesn't like being hot (ironic for a tiefling)- and she will pant even in her bipedal form if she is. Admires Karlach and wishes they could be more like her. Likes rain.

anne- regular tav. sort of an s/i but not quite. human, storm sorcerer. Naive, a bleeding heart, refuses to think the worst in any situation- which causes contention with Lae'zel, Astarion and Shadowheart in the beginning. Fiercely loyal and will back up her friends to the bitter end. She was raised a noble, so she's poised and very charismatic. Knew Wyll before he took his contract with Mizora and honestly missed him after he disappeared. Her positive and supportive attitude wears on Astarion, and eventually he falls for her. Becomes great friends with Gale. She's braver than she looks but she'll be crying about it. Very homesick. Worries about her family constantly. Has a little brother. Likes spicy food. Smells vaguely of ozone due to her proficiency with lightning magic. Kinda looks like Anne Hathaway, hence the name.

[swordmaid]

the yves/orin dynamic I hc is so hhhhhjjmyhhhhhhdhdghh scrumptious to me bc yves was orin’s biggest tormentor. yves constantly berated orin and thought she was useless, and she made her grievance known. like yves constantly preaching abt how orin is so useless and worthless and the only thing that’s significant to her is the blood in her veins and unlike her, she will never gain bhaal’s favour and she’s always going to be a mongrel chasing her heel for a sliver of recognition…! and the fact that yves - besides being bhaal’s bride and chosen - was one of the head priestess of His church meant that she influenced others to think similarly too. orin was also one of the constant victims of yves’ nasty tantrums and when she’s feeling particularly curious and she wants to see how a shapeshifter’s inner organs work mid shifting orin is the first one she takes to experiment on. like yves in her dead three was SO nasty and horrible and her cruelty is so deliberate and calculated. unlike her god yves was not reckless nor chaotic, rather, she was very meticulous and executed everything she did with precision hence why I think she worked well with gortash bc she isn’t unpredictable like orin.

but anyway, yves being so horrible and nasty to orin so when orin FINALLY managed to stage her little coup, it is a very satisfying and vindicating moment. now she gets to see the woman who made her life living hell kneel and break open like an egg, and she WILL watch with a smile in her face. now she has a chance to prove her worth, and to show everyone that yves was wrong abt everything and she IS bhaal’s chosen, and i think yves would actually be proud of her for finally standing up for herself lol.

but then orin makes the fatal mistake of not killing yves 😔

[robo-writing]

clive would SOOO pull that “is this what your spouse would’ve wanted” in the fight with barnabas something similar to the ketheric thorm fight in bg3 but whilst ketheric is a depressed bastard and killed him self over remembering his wife (and being self aware of how much he would disappoint her) barnabas is not only so insane and in love that it’s near religious fervour but he would also have a split second of “mention them again and i will kill your for real”. he’s more like castlevania dracula style of widow to me

This would probably happen either when Clive is saving Jill or when Odin finds Clive in Waloed when he’s scouting with Gav, there’s a very ominous change in the air, his tone, the very atmosphere itself seems to weep an all-encompassing darkness as Barnabas speaks slowly.

“Mention that name again, and it will be the last thing you say, Mythos.”

In that moment he completely forgets his mission. He is eerily calm, almost daring either of them to say a single word before he remembers what he is here for, and begrudgingly leaves.

Also yes, he’s absolutely Dracula-coded, you could put Barnabas in his place and his wife as Lisa and absolutely nothing would change about the plot.

[honestlyitsjustsam]

alright now that i finished my first bg3 run lemme rate the companions from worst to best based on their story, voice lines and gameplay value

long as fuuuuuck thread

9. Halsin

It is with a heavy heart that I say this, but Halsin is maaaad boring as a companion, his story was so sleeping material next to the rest of the gang. He is too naive and often ignorant, and you get to see it by his voice lines when you reach Baldur's Gate. He lived for 350 years but is still trying to see the world as black and white… he is literally one second away from becoming an eco-terrorist, and even though it's hilarious, it’s not enough. Plus, he is sooooo weak in the battlefield except when he is a bear, and even then, the value he brings is non-existent. He just feels like goon material, sure he is hot and large, but… that’s kinda it. I wish he was polished and was a companion since the ending of Act 1.

8. Minsc

He is hilarious!! And I liked him more than I originally thought I would. His little companion Boo really makes me laugh, and some of the lines he says are straight-up ridiculous, which makes him very funny. But aside from this, he is kind of a dumbass, and even though I’m okay with it, I didn’t see much development for his character. Maybe if I played other BG games, my reaction would have been different, but he was kinda just there. But during battle, his movement speed is insane, and he wasn’t such a bad asset. I personally made a mistake and recruited him sooo late, so that’s on me.

7. Jaheira

Ohh Jaheira!! My mom, my mentor. I liked her more than I thought I would, and I am glad. I swear I got teary-eyed when she first called me “cub” 😭😭 MAMA!! That being said, I feel like she got the Minsc treatment from me as I haven’t played the other games. And I kinda dislike this “strong woman = absent mom” trope. I sincerely dislike it because strength doesn’t come from solitude; it comes from showing up when people need you, and it comes from showing your love. Also, the Harpers questline was booooring, kinda don’t care for a force that cannot do shit but use arrows. But she was a tremendous help during my fights, her becoming an owlbear and tearing up ass was such a delight to play as. Genuinely like her and would like to see more of her.

6. Wyll

Ahhh my prince charming. The one true good character of the gang. I really like him a lot; his story being this intertwined with Karlach’s makes me so happy, and he is genuinely a kind soul with a brave heart. And the locks mod for him? Uuh, made him 10 times hotter! But that being said, he is kind of weak in the battlefield (as I realized warlocks are uhhh), and his story with his dad wasn’t interesting to me. Thus, I destroyed the pact and didn’t even try to save him from Iron Throne. Be nice to your kid who sold his soul for his people, mf. And his pact with Mizora broke my heart; I wish he had another way to deal with her. But hey, the horns look good, and his heart is in the right place (though I always kinda cannot love purely good characters as they lack depth and kinda act like a book of virtue). He definitely lacked in the content department as well, so thus, I cannot add him higher than 6th…

5. Karlach

Ahh my beautiful fiery friend, Karlach is such an inspirational character because even though she is going through quite literally hells, she still keeps her upbeat and charming self up. She aspired me to look at problems with less of a scornful face, honestly. I'll try to be like her; I really want to. It pisses me off how short her story is compared to the rest and how sad her fate is: either go to the literal hell you are trying to escape or die. I'm glad in my run Wyll was able to go with her, but it was nothing but a temporary solution. Her story didn’t end in a way; just left incomplete, thus I cannot put her higher. I like her in battle; she was my tank after all, though I believe I wasn’t able to build her to her potential, thus Lae’zel was a better fighter than her. I still love her personality, her full-of-life views, and her hilarious voicelines. Her being a tiefling makes her more appealing, as they are probably my fave race in BG3! Long live my hot, fun, and energetic babygirl <3 <3 <3

4. Astarion

Ahhhhh the pale elf. Astarion is such a delightful character, from his funny lines to Neil's incredible performance to his story to his general behaviors, acts, and preferences to HIS INCREDIBLY STRONG BUILD for his battle style. I love him. I adore him, and I cannot wait to romance him as OG Durge hhihiih. I feel like a great amount of the taste of backstories of companions is locked behind their romances, thus to understand them more, I must romance them!! Oh joy, love it. Astarion was such a savior for me during fights, and especially if I managed to make him attack while sneaking, he was sure to get multiple crit hits. Though I feel like the rogue class is a bit boring to play as: I make one ranged attack, and if the enemy is close, I can do one close-range, but if not… well, I need to skip him. So yeah, it was definitely powerful, but the thrill always ended too quickly. I genuinely love Astarion's story. I love how devs showed his abuse—it’s not common to narrate sexual abuse towards male characters, and I’m glad his story is there to make me cry. He is truly a quality character, and as you get to know him more, you understand his hostile self in Act 1. That being said (I hope no one gets this the wrong way), I think him in general and his story are overrated as fuuuuck in the fandom space, and the way Larian only focuses on him to cater to the audience kinda annoys me, thus makes me not like him as much as I'd love to. It's a real thing that a fandom can make or break a character for me, and this is kind of his situation, so why I think he belongs to the 4th spot. But who knows—he may go higher or lower after I finish his romance path.

3. Lae'zel

Now if anyone told me that I’d like Lae’zel as much as I do now, I’d laugh at their face as I was kinda annoyed by her rude self as I was watching the EA version of the game, but OH LORD she is truly a gem, my soft frog treasure. Yes, she is rude. Yes, she is bloodthirsty. Yes, she is persistent. But they all make her such a compelling companion, as you get to see her kinder self. After the travel to Creche, you get to see how nice she is to Tav. She actually tries her best to cooperate and find common ground with you, not because of the affliction alone, but because of the time you spend together. She is suuuch a slow burn, and I love her for that. So me betraying her at the end really felt like a sharp knife to my chest. I tricked her after going and retrieving the fucking hammer—MIND YOU, HOUSE OF HOPE WAS LIKE HELLS FOR ME. I kept on dying and dying to those fucking fireballs, but to make her happy and contribute to the liberation of her people, I did it. However, at the end, I think I was gaslighted into thinking that the Emperor was the only choice for survival. It pisses me off how her story is intertwined with the ending this much. Maybe I should have picked Orpheus, so I wouldn’t be so disappointed in myself. A chance for another playthrough. I just love her a lot, AND SHE IS THE POWERHOUSE OF MY TEAM. She is the strongest companion I had, no joke. She crit hit so many people and saved my ass so many times. I’m actually so grateful for a queen like her. The reason I put her slightly lower is because her Act 2-3 story was not as strong as Act 1 for me. I did see her improve, but the spotlight of it turned from her development to the freedom of her people slightly, thus I wanted the spotlight to stay on her. I must romance her to see her even softer side, my frog queen!!! I kiss you; I smooch you <3 <3 <3

2. Gale

OHHH DEKARIOS you have captured my heart with your endless vocabulary knowledge and swagless rizz 💜💜💜. The real Gozde stans know she can never say no to a brunette malewife guy with pretty brown eyes. I LOVE Gale, and searching up his name after my run left me shocked as I saw that the majority hated him sdhsgdhsgd. Now, I'm not gonna lecture anyone, but if the only reason you hate him is because he eats only THREE of your artifacts (which are ridiculously easy to find in Act 1, Skill issue) and because he talks a lot, yeah, I don’t wanna listen to you lol. But if you are actually critical about his neutral self and his inflated ego, I’m all ears as it is always delightful to listen to takes that make sense. I kinda see myself in his story, thus maybe why it hit me this hard. The prodigy genius wizard (I’m not calling myself genius, but I had VERY high grades ehehe) who thought his studies defined him, thus became this egotistical guy who was pretty decent in magic. Literally ruined his life for his ambitions to become something more, burning out like a candle that gets lit up fast, locking himself up in his tower and succumbing to depression and self-hatred. A relationship that broke his self-love, and now he hides his deepest insecurities behind his shield of "Gale of Waterdeep" title. Thinking the world would be a better place if he just killed himself. Thinking himself so worthless that a small token of appreciation feels like a parade he needs to cherish. Thinking the only way to improve himself is killing Gale Dekarios and becoming the memory of a once-great wizard—not stopping there and actually trying to rise to godhood of ambition just to show everyone, Mystra and maybe himself, that he is enough. OH THE ANGST. In the past, I did have such cold feelings for myself; sometimes they still resurface. I did think of taking my own life because of the pain I caused for my family and friends. Even though my reason isn’t as explosive as his, I get him, and Tav's romance revolving around healing him and not having kinky sex 24/7 really touched something in my heart. I thought that maybe I, too, deserve to be loved. Maybe I, too, should reach for highs that are realistic and stop being a suicide threat 24/7. Ohh, I adore him. I can talk for hours about his story, but I gotta keep it short. He is incredibly powerful in combat if you build him right, and I believe I managed to do that. He taught me so many different words, and his sudden flirty remarks really left me speechless, just looking at the screen fucking dazed. Ahhhhhh I LOVE YOU FUNNY MAGIC MAN.

AND NOW THE WINNER IS

SHADOWHEART

Ever since I watched my bestie play EA, I knew she was going to be my fave character. I don’t know if it’s because of her soothing angelic voice, or because of her goth design, or the way she sees the world, or because we both share religious trauma, but I don’t care—she is my favourite companion, character, BABYGIRL, girl for girls, and everything really. In EA, she was a lot colder and had her walls up, but I feel like they tweaked her to make her more likable—probably because of the male audience lol. But nevertheless, my love for her didn’t lessen an inch. She is one of the realest characters. Her trauma is actually so heartbreaking: getting stolen from your fam because a CUNT wants to be the right hand of a deity who is nothing but misery and pain to people, getting educated your whole life in the ways of being cruel, GETTING YOUR MEMORIES TAKEN FROM YOU as if they aren’t what makes you who you are!! These are some hard-to-swallow things that I absolutely eat up when they’re fictional. Religion is a weird thing—it makes you feel safe; believing in something makes you feel grounded. But you also feel the pain caused by people who use that religion as their sword. Shart’s case? Shar was a master manipulator, played her like a toy, fucking used her to her liking. Thus, another reason why I’ll always HATE DnD or medieval gods—they’re all talk and no action. They only take and leave you disappointed. Fucking selfish mfs. And I was so glad to watch Shart embrace herself even though it cost her family’s demise. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked how her fam died—it really showed the player that they actually wanted what’s best for their daughter and not some cheap “fam reunion oh no you guys are dead again” trope. She jokes like a dad, and her smile is the warmest thing in the game. She is one of the most sapphic-coded characters I’ve ever seen, and I just cannot wait to romance her with my righteous paladin. When it comes to fighting, I feel like I wasn’t able to make her much of a fighter but more of a healer. Dgmw, she saved my ass multiple times, but she also missed. A LOT. Regardless, if I was playing the game without the party limitation mode, she’d def always be in my party both because of her aid and humour and because she is the prettiest girl ever. I LOVE FEMME CHARACTERS MUAH. 💜💜💜