#this is going to fix me
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first look at pyramid head in return to silent hill and it looks just like silent hill 2006…. SILENT HILL 2006 TRUTHERS WE ARE SO BACK
#I AM FREAKING OUT#this is going to fix me#MY MAN!!#literally elated that christophe gans is back#silent hill#silent hill (2006)#return to silent hill#pyramid head
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about to be a little Freak on main about percy jackson fuck i’ve wanted this for so long
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i am having such a GREAT time with this ✨guess the build✨
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Apricot strawberry red bull time
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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.
For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.
The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.
So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.
Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.
#edit: go to https://gazafunds.org/ and donate $5 you would otherwise spend on streaming services on a campaign!#ra speaks#piracy#media piracy#pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud#obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement.#anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them#this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams#edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise.#your experiences are not universal#edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.)#in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Me at the beginning of this year: I’m so gonna fix my life dude this is gonna be the year everything changes I’m not gonna let anything slip through the cracks it’s time to live
Me approaching the end of March:
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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no mercy 😭
#one piece won the poll and I wanted to draw smth nice and wholesome#but I hated the perspective process and the multiple characters were a pain so where did that bring me?#that's right; perspective and multiple characters in shtpost format#don't you just love it when you put too much pressure on yourself and the way to fix that is to draw smth silly#vibrant colours go brrrr#pls trust me when I say I like sanji#I mean look at him#one piece#strawhat crew#sanji#luffy#zoro#chopper#usopp#nami#nico robin#cyborg franky#o0kawaii0o
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Being on the nostalgia train this week really helped stretching my artistic legs again. So here, have some old things and some new! For now I'm done with this.
#naruto#team 7#kakashi hatake#dai nana han#listen I seldomly think about naruto but when I do it is only with a fix it mindset so there is always time travel involved#this was fun! overpainting old things is always the most easy for me if I haven't drawn in months#but I am also done with posting that stuff because one. made me draw other things two. there are some.. dedicated naruto fans#and I look into my ask box and go 'haha - hell no'#which kinda does kill the joy#which is WEIRD because isn't it old by now?? shouldn't things be... less intense ppfpfpf#on the other hand I got some lovely comments and stuff so <3#thank you alllll
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got furniture for my back porch and it's the best thing i've ever done. life changing. i looove sitting out on the porch now. come out here to drink my tea, to eat dinner, etc etc. i'm such a porch girly now !
#i can spend hours out here#and i do !#this is going to fix me#and the weather is cooling down too i love this
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"You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate"
[Too Sweet by Hozier]
#the voices told me to#like the true English speaker I am I did have to go back and fix all my spelling mistakes#i thought he said “lean” instead of “neat” bc i didn't check the lyrics until the end :)#cod#cod mwii#cod mwiii#cod mw2#cod mw3#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#comic#comics#comic art#web comic#original comic#digital art#sketchbook#sketch#art#drawing#artists on tumblr
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i love that i read SO many jayvik fics about the divorce beginning with jayce being horrified at what viktor had done with the hexcore, only for it to turn out that jayce actually did not give a SINGLE fuck, didn't even flinch at the sight of his hand and leg, and was ecstatic when it ended up saving his life. i am absolutely obsessed
#jayvik#arcane#arcane spoilers#idk if i was ever certain how jayce would react but i do love pain and i knew the divorce had to come some time#his best friend is ALIVE and they're going to fix everything together and oh he must be cold 'let me grab my blanket i have in here'#'i've been sleeping in this room for days waiting for a sign of life and here he is'#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#anyway. i missed them
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Thoughts of a newly resurrected girl
#dungeon meshi#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#falin x marcille#welcome to my yuri mind palace ^ _ ^#i think falin is going through it basically. i think marcille is putting her through hell#Marcille is like we are GIRL BESTIES <3 let me touch you ever so tenderly I MISSED YOU SO MUCH !!!#but let's not talk about it or anything too deeply haha.#sorry that i think marcille is repressed. sorry. but i believe with the character development she goes through during the manga#that will change#falin can fix her#my art
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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