#this is going to be my cringe memory of the month that i keep remembering and regret every time

[amaranthineghost]

ahh!! i think i speak on behalf of a lot of people when i say i need a part two, because that was so amazing and so beautifully written 🫶🏻🫶🏻

| I CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU, I'LL TRAVEL THE SOLAR SYSTEM TO MEND OUR STARS ( lando norris. ) |

ꕥ pairings: lando x reader

ꕥ parts: 1

ꕥ tagging: @gulphulp

ꕥ summary: they hadn't seen each other in months after their breakup, which left them in more misery than they thought. because now they'll do anything to make it work.

ꕥ authors note: I've been planning this in my head while writing the first part to this and i really like how this came out! going to work on christmas imagines and also finish up a request that I've been meaning to write!

ꕥ warnings: smut (at the end if you don't want to read that part), heavy angst (wanted to break some hearts), mentions of alcohol abuse and heavy drinking, mentions of eating struggles. not proofread the end.

IT'D BEEN MONTHS. months since he last abandoned her in their old apartment. since he drove off in his mclaren, punched the rearview mirror because he couldn't take it. to this day, he regretted it with every fiber of his being. he tried to convince himself for days on end, it was for the better. but was it really?

he was struggling. he couldn't sleep properly, staring at the dark ceiling, feeling beside him in the bed for another warm body, breaking his heart more every time he reminded himself that she wasn't here. it was cold.

it was cold despite the blistering summer heat of monaco, windows open to let in the heat. max swore at him every time because despite being rich, he was letting out cool air. but lando couldn't stand the cold. without her, his heart was frigid.

it worsened as the months grew colder and races passed him by. he was peforming fine, for now, but he'd reach his limit soon enough.

he hated when the air got bitterly frozen because this year, he wouldn't have her. he wouldn't have the heat that radiated off her to keep him warm.

he'd waste himself away with alcohol to forget the memory of leaving her. it turned his stomach in knots everytime to think of her watching him leave because they didn't know what to do to fix them. he wish he knew, he should've.

more often than not, he'd spent his nights on bathroom floors of the club, puking his guts out into the toilet, or sitting on the kitchen floor belonging his temporary roommate, max fewtrell. he sat against the tiled floor and wooden cabinets with a half-emptied bottle in his hands, tears on his face.

he'd sit there for hours, wasting away with every sip burning at his throat. he hated alcohol, but it was the only way to cope because he didn't want to remember any moment without her.

when he was nearly passed out on the floor, max would drag him up by his arms, forcing more than a few glasses of water down his throat. he'd grown familiar with his friend's new sulking.

max threw him on the guest room bed he didn't bother to make because he was miserable. he made it everyone's problem then. he'd leave his passed out friend a concoction of medicines to help with the hangover, he'd gotten used to this routine for the past couple of months.

when lando would stumble his way down the stairs, hands wrapped in his curls with a splitting pain through his head and a grimace on his face, all max would comment is "well, aren't you a pitiful sod."

lando rolled his eyes, groaning at the pain as he did so, sitting on a chair at the table across from his best friend, cringing at the resemblance of dinners with his girl—who wasn't even his anymore.

"jesus, mate, maybe you do need an intervention." he'd push his bowl of oatmeal towards lando, watching the expression on his face closely.

"I'm fine."

"clearly not," max scoffed, "mate, it's great havin' you here, but y'need to sober up."

"I will."

"you've said that last month, and the month before that, and the month before that." he shook his head, "I don't even get why you guys broke up."

lando groaned, rubbing his fingertips to his temple and chugging the water before he spoke, "it wasn't working out, 'ts for the best."

"for the best? are you kidding me?" he scoffed his friend's words, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

to max, breaking up was for the worst. he could tell lando was in misery, and he'd guess she was the same, maybe worse. maybe he didn't know much, but he knew enough to know that they were meant for each other.

"I'm not kidding," he muttered, pushing the oatmeal around the bowl, his spoon clinking against the sides, "besides, we tried to fix it, 'n it didn't work."

he paused, "fix it 'ow?"

lando rolled his eyes, feeling the consequences of his actions through his head, mumbling under his breath, "we went out to eat."

"you're jokin' me?" he leaned forward, a look of disbelief and disappointment on his face, "you went out to eat? how's that goin' to solve anything?"

lando shrugged again, refusing to look max in the eye as he pushed the mush around in his bowl, picking out the bits of fruit throughout.

"you're a real geezer, y'know that?" he sighed deeply, leaning back into the stool as he sat looking at his idiotic friend, "it was a perfectly salvageable relationship, mate, and you just threw it away." he shook his head, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned his head on one hand.

"you gonn' call me a muppet next?" he aggressively bit into the small strawberry.

"might as well because you're acting like one. now why did you break up with her?"

"she broke up with me." he quietly corrected him, though it didn't seem to shed light on the fact that they didn't try as much as they thought they did.

"then fight for your relationship!" max exclaimed, throwing his hands up in response, "did you ever talk about what was wrong?"

"we didn' have time to," lando admitted, "and we didn't know what to do." he pushed aside the bowl, having barely touched the food residing in it. it's gone cold now, just like him.

"make the time!" he suggested, jabbing his finger into the counter to make a point, "when was the last time you were alone together?"

"when we had dinner together."

max groaned, shoving his face into his hands, rubbing his closed eyes on his palms. lando was starting to give him a headache, "when was the last time you were alone together, no people, no cameras, no fans, just you and her doing something?"

"i 'ont know."

"jesus, man." his voice muffled into his skin as his face remained in his palms because of the idiocracy of his friend.

"well, what do you suggest i do then, max?" lando's tone got seemingly more aggressive and annoyed, the volume of his voice raising slightly.

"actually spend time with her! take her on holiday!" he suggested, matching energies.

"mate, I can't just ask her after months of not speakin'," lando's stool pushed against the floor as he stood up, he was agrivated. he harshly grabbed the bowl with the cold food and shoved it in the sink.

max turned in his seat, "right, so just give up and go back to drinkin' then?"

lando ignored the comment, it infuriated him because max was right. if he didn't find the solution to his problem, he probably would go back to getting blackout drunk. all in hopes that'd help forget his misery

he leaned against the sink with his arms, his head hung between his inner biceps with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths before asking, "how should I ask her then?"

"you truly are a muppet."

"christ, just help m'out here!" lando pleaded because he couldn't take it anymore. he'd been losing himself to however many bottles of alcohol that'd stacked in the bin and the amount of over-the-counter drugs he'd force down his burned throat. all to forget what seemed like an impossible fix, but all he needed was another person. just because they didn't know what to do doesn't mean others wouldn't.

and of course max would help. he just had to give lando a hard time for screwing up so badly because he would've never expected him to show up at his front door midday, stumbling drunk and muttering slurred phrases about her.

his first thought when he saw his disoriented friend was to wonder if something had happened, the obvious answer being, obviously. because lando barely drank. max knew how much he couldn't stand the taste and chasing burn so it wasn't often you'd catch him drunk, much less to this extent.

he knew it had to involve his girlfriend by the here-and-there words he could decipher from the rest, but he couldn't expect to get the full story from the utter nonsense his friend spewed.

it wasn't till morning max discovered the extent of lando's stupidity.

" 'ts your relationship," max sighed, "and you realize she might not be so accepting to see you."

it hurt to think about. he didn't know what was worse, for her to be in such misery like himself or for her to not want him back. his stomach tied itself in knots to even think about, but he was the one who left her in the first place.

"yeah, I know."

he was lost without her. everything seemed so meaningless without her by his side, though she hadn't been for months, even when they were together. but the idea of her presence somewhere in his vicinity was all he needed.

she was like a drug he tried so hard to quit because it seemed to be getting him no where. but he was addicted. all he thought about when he wasn't drunk was her. every single dollar wasted on booze was drank to forget her. the lack of her in his life.

so when he showed up at her doorstep, it was more than just a shock. she'd opened the door, the last thing she expected was to see him, standing with an expression that seemingly matched hers. the smell of booze wafting from his clothes and the bittersweet smell of his cologne she had long forgotten about. smelling it again brought back everything she tried to learn to forget about him.

she wanted to be mad, to push and kick him away, but she'd been waiting for months for him to reappear into her life. for him to come back to her, the anticipation built in her body every time the door bell echoed off the walls, or knocks that pounded against the door.

but instead she slammed the door almost immediately, and he didn't blame her. how could he when he'd been the one to leave. because on the other side of that door, her heart was pounding.

she'd been wanting to see him for so long, so badly wanted him back in her life, but what if they made the same mistakes? she couldn't take losing him a second time because she'd already lost most of herself when he drove away the first time.

because she'd watched her future slip through her fingertips and there wasn't anything she knew that would make her catch it.

she knew she was to blame for breaking them up. it was for the best, she told her guilty conscience, but it didn't change the heart-wrenching want to have him back.

she'd spent months in the cocoon she made of their cold bed, ultimately settling on his side to feel closer to him. but what was the point? he hadn't slept in that bed in months, the sheets that reeked of him faded, and even more so when he left her, for at the time she thought, forever.

"love, please," he pleaded against the door, his forehead against the cold metal, "I screwed up, but please, let me fix this, us."

she hesitated. she knew she was the type to let people who hurt her back into her life so easily, as if nothing happened, but she was the one who forced him out. she knew that.

so when the door creaked open, he pushed himself away from the door as fast as lightning. her doe eyes peaking around, staring at his chest before they found their way to his face. he'd changed. he looked tired, unkept. she'd be lying if she said she looked the same as she did months ago because she honestly looked worse than him.

because being apart brought out their worst qualities in themselves that they'd helped the other through, but it resurfaced.

when he'd gotten a good look at her, he realized she definitely wasn't the same girl she was months ago. he'd notice the dark circles under her eyes, half-lidded and puffy, begging for sleep. the oversized hoodie he left her, though surprisingly clean, was well-worn by her. through the baggy cloth, he could tell her physique was slimmer, he felt nauseous.

she couldn't stand the silence between them even when they lived the last months of their relationship filled with it. they were both hurting and they both knew it, but they'd assume the other would be the one to patch it up. that's where they messed up, they seem to do it a lot.

"so why now are you here?" she'd cut through the silence with a butter knife, sawing back and forth as she stumbled where she stood. she struggled to keep her balance, lack of energy will do that to you.

"I realized how much of an idiot I was," he stepped closer, bringing his hand to hers, pressing her fingers between his. he trailed the pads of his fingertips down her hand and to her wrist. he'd latch on, caressing the soft skin, he'd remember the feeling.

"but I was the one who broke you with you."

he didn't mean it like that, to insinuate that she was the idiot for breaking them up because in no way did he blame her. he put the blame all on him for not fighting for them.

" 'nd I was the one who left."

she stared up at him, her big eyes doing things to him, he shouldn't feel it in a moment like this, but he did. he just wanted her back, to feel her lips on his, her smooth skin under his soft but callused hands.

her lips parted when she'd realize the feeling of warmth against her face, his hand running along her jaw to her chin. though she was already looking up at him, he pushed her head up further, but so softly.

his voice was raspy and deep, pleading, "please, darlin'." she couldn't say no even if the voice inside her head and the feeling in her heart told her to.

"just don't leave again."

he could never, not after the misery he'd been through without her, blackout nights to forget everything that had led up to their break up. he couldn't imagine the anguish he put her through.

and at those words, he couldn't hold back anymore, his lips colliding with hers so desperately, like he needed her to survive. he kind of did. he tasted faintly of alcohol and fruit, she tasted like mint. her lips moved softly against his passionate kiss because he was acting like she was his oxygen, his water, his everything because she was.

his hand tangled in her hair, the sounds of their breaths between their lips, the heavy heat that surrounded the air as they separated.

"let's go somewhere," he'd suggest, his chest rising and falling more noticeably now.

her lips became a swollen pink as she looked up at him, dazed as her eyes flickered between his green eyes, "where?"

he shook his head, smiling. god, she missed that smile. he spoke so softly now, "anywhere, you pick. it'll jus' be us."

money didn't matter to him. if she wanted to travel to the moon and back, he'd make it happen because he wanted to make things right. he wanted to show her he was all in now because he would never take another step out ever again.

so they'd travel across the world. he'd rent out hotels, restaurants, amusement parks, anything she'd want. like max said, he wanted this between the two of them. no cameras, no fans, no public. just them enjoying their time together and alone at the most beautiful places she could think of.

she'd end up on an island with him, the only other people being the employees of the resorts he'd rent out. he did everything with her.

they went on yachts around the crystal waters and coral reefs surrounding the beaches that they'd later lay and tan on. they'd talk as they bathed in the sunlight. snorkeling while holding hands and pointing out various species that inhabited the waters.

candle-lit dinners sitting across from each other, though their hands never left each other. they'd been offered fancy wines, lando ultimately opting out. she understood. they tried the exotic foods and other virgin drinks the resort had to offer.

they had long runs along the beach, heavy makeout sessions on stranded towels where they couldn't take their hands off the other, deciding to take the trip back to their hut over the waters.

when they'd make it back, he wasted no time because he missed her, the feeling of her around him, the taste of her.

as soon as the hut door slammed shut, his veined hand would be pressured on her neck, pushing at the skin under his fingertips to pull her into his lips. he was desperate, she knew that.

his lips were harshly against hers, she could feel the vibrations of his groans against her flesh, feeling his working hands across her chest, having left her neck temporarily to undo her tied bikini top. it was discarded onto the wooden floors with no further regard. they'd separate, foreheads pushed together and their noses clashing as their breaths mixed in the middle.

his head dipped below her jaw, biting at the skin of her neck. whimpers left her lips and she felt his smirk on her skin while she grasped at his curls. he slowly pushed their bodies towards the open laid bed behind her, her calf's meeting the mattress. he tugged at the elastic of her beach shorts, though deciding to take his time, which made it all the more agonizing for her, she needed him.

his lips trailed her body, leaving trails of his saliva and marks where he nipped at her skin, from her neck down to her chest. he groped her tits, earning a low groan from her as his tongue swirled her areola. she tugged his hair, his curls between each of her fingers as she bit back the sounds that forced through her throat. he was starved of her, which only turned her on more. she felt the heat between her thighs.

he'd kneel on his knees in front of her as he'd continue to leave a string of dark hickeys down her skin as he'd continue to her stomach, and just above her panty line, pulling the elastic of her shorts down. she'd almost just rip them off because she couldn't take how slow he'd move compared to when they first ended up in this situation.

his finger wrapped around the band, slowly pulling the material over the curves of her body, but he'd left her panties, which infuriated her. he did it all while looking straight up into her eyes, the glint in his eyes filled of lust and mischief. he'd lift her leg with his hand wrapped around the back of her knee, helping her kick off the clothing.

he'd kiss the skin just above the side of her knee, his lips glued to her skin as they traveled higher up her thighs, as well as his hands, sliding under the side of her panties. his nose brushed against the cloth of her cunt, ghostly stimulating her clit. it provoked a reaction out of her as she whined, and he'd continue to kiss along the line of her undergarment.

he may have started off desperate, but now he was taking his sweet time to take care of her. she wanted to badly for him to just hurry it along, wanting to feel him, but he'd rather enjoy the moment he had with her, like it was his last.

he pushed aside the cloth barrier, licking his lips as he eyed the wet patch caused by him, his warm breath panned across her cunt and she pleaded, "lan, please." god, he loved to hear her beg, it was music to his ears, but her moans were a symphony.

his two fingers slowly parted her folds, feeling her pulse under him as she moaned against the contact, he 'tsk'd at her reaction, "so wet for me, darling." his voice was raspy, deep and she cursed under her breath as she watched him lick her off his fingers.

the taste of her brought him back, he'd savor it because he hadn't before, not when he didn't realize it could've been the last. she was sweet, her skin smelling of vanilla as his nose brushed against her.

he'd had enough teasing for now, and gently he'd pull down her panties. she'd be fully exposed, but he was still dressed, his clothes feeling tighter around his body, specifically his swim shorts.

he didn't care. he'd thrown one of her legs over his shoulder as he flattened his tongue across her, feeling the tremble in her standing leg. he'd bury his lips in her cunt, vigorously tasting her like he hadnt eaten in weeks. his tongue lapped at her heat and she let out strings of curses interrupted by moans as she'd tug him closer to her by his hair.

vibrations of his groans stimulated her clit as he softly nipped at the sensitive flesh. he'd lapped at her cunt for not long before it became overwhelming, her moans growing high and squeaked as her legs nearly buckled.

he kept going, looking up at her with massively dilated eyes, half-lidded and seductive. her jaw went slack as she stared into his eyes, she felt the crescendo of her high and she'd nearly scream out his name as she came on his tongue. he'd lick up any remaining juice of hers.

his tongue left one long trail over her cunt, pressuring on her sensitive before pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting to his mouth and her slick glistened on his lips and chins. she panted heavily, he watched the rise and fall of her chest, felt the shaking of her knees as they nearly gave out under her.

he'd smile up at her, his goofy grin greeted her after her hazed high calmed. she'd roll her eyes at his light-heartedness after she'd just came on his tongue.

but it was moments like those that'd bring back the spark of youth and naivety to their relationship. because it was what they'd needed all along. all they needed was each other.

[abiiors]

sfw alphabet ❣️ // matty healy x reader

a/n: there is one story in here that is based on true events from my life hehehe. also while we're here i'd like to say that i tried veryyyy hard to keep it strictly sfw but some innuendos did slip through lol cw: mostly fluff, very brief mentions of addiction. brief mentions of morning sickness, some angst but it's very tame overall wc: 5.6k

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

matty’s like if you fed a stray cat that one time five months ago—meaning, he’s going to be the most affectionate person ever if you show him even one act of kindness. it doesn’t matter what your relationship to him is, it’s just a given at this point that if you’re close to him, he’s going to go above and beyond for you. 

you get your first taste of it when you show up to his house, on the verge of tears and a panic attack from the stress of an upcoming deadline. it’s three weeks into dating, you’re barely even sure if you should be bothering him with your silly little problems (even though later he would scold you for calling them silly little problems). 

matty opens the door, takes one look at your face, and instantly pull you into a hug. 

“oh, darling, what’s wrong?” his voice is full of concern and you suspect there’s a giant frown on his face. 

“everything!”

a little giggle slips out of him and he has to press his mouth shut when you look up at him with a betrayed pout. 

“everything? hmm, we gotta do something about that then, don’t we?”

and then that’s exactly what he does. 

“should we light a fire?” matty asks once he’s got you a glass of wine (your favourite that he found out about and now always keeps on hand) “you love a good fire.”

“and we can read together?”

“anything you want, baby!”

and even though his face twists into an expression of instant regret as soon as he says it, matty still proceeds to make a fire while you set up blankets and pillows on the sofa. he knows exactly what’s coming though (no seriously, he fondly likes to call your kindle unlimited subscription the bane of his existence)

still, twenty minutes later, snuggled up next to you and cringing through every bad sex scene, he can’t complain. not when he gets to bury his head in the crook of your neck and hear you laugh at his reactions.

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

loyal to a fault!!!

you can pinpoint the actual date the two of you became friends—years and years and years ago, practically decades at this point, at the ripe old age of fourteen, you got into your first fight. 

you can’t remember how the fight started or who it was with. all you know if there were a few words, someone pulling your hair and the next thing you know, you were on the ground, trying to hit any vulnerable spot you could find. 

the memories after that are fuzzy—you, school uniform undone, dried blood on your split lip, toeing the grass outside your school and trying not to look nervous. what if some teacher saw it? 

you didn’t throw the first punch! what if—

“you look like you could use a fag!” a voice cuts through. it’s a boy you’ve sometimes seen around school. black hair (awfully straightened), a unibrow, thick black glasses, always surrounded by the same three boys. 

“i don’t smoke,” you counter and go back to torturing the poor grass. 

“i didn’t ask if you smoked, just said you look like you could use one.”

what. a. fucking. twat!

still, you aren’t much in the mood for an argument. “don’t wanna get in trouble.”

the boy shrugs. “you’re already in trouble, mate. but whatever.”

he’s about to leave when you grab his arm. “no wait. why are you being nice to me?”

at that, he grins. “are you joking? we all saw what you did to sam! biggest fucking bully in class and you looked like a badass putting him in his place.”

“wait, really? you really think that?” 

“ask george,” (you don’t know who george is) “or ross or adam,” (you don’t know who they are either) “we all think you’re fucking cool.”

that makes you smile too. you hiss quickly though, smiling with a split lip hurts but he extends the cigarette to you once again. 

and this time, you accept it gladly.

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

clingiest man in the whole wide world!!! he has to be attached to you at all times otherwise he’s gonna have that horrendously sad little pout on his face all day. 

if you’re just at home, watching something on tv then his head is on your boobs (or in your lap but boobs is preferred though) while you play with his hair. every once in a while he nuzzles his face between them and says something that suspiciously sounds like “comfy”

he’s cute though! and it’s not always sexual. you love the fact that he feels so much adoration for you. 

if you’re in bed though, you end up being the little spoon because he absolutely loves to flop on you and cover you with his entire body. he’s deliciously warm and smells so incredible (and he smells like home to you). you’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve fallen asleep like that—with his face buried in your neck, his stubble scratching the skin. and even when his arm falls asleep, he won’t make you move your head at the risk of waking you up.

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he is a brilliant house-husband (and that’s a title he’s claimed on his own).

“no, go sit down babe, let me take care of that for you” or “let me cook for you tonight” or “should i do the laundry while you finish your movie?” are definitely regular matty sentences arround the house. 

the few weeks when he’s just gotten back from a tour and wants to do nothing but sleep all day long are probably the only time you do all the chores while he’s also in the house. he does get huffy when he realises you didn’t wake him up and ask for help.

“i could’ve hoovered,” he pouts but it melts away quickly when you pull him into a kiss. 

“i know you could have, love, but you looked so peaceful sleeping i didn’t wanna bother you!”

he isn’t very happy about that but he silently vows to stay up and help you the next time.

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he doesn’t want to let go no matter how much the relationship deteriorates. he knows he can fix this and turn back time and bring back the spark. he knows the weekly fights are just a phase, he knows you love him so much! 

deep down, he also knows he’s delusional.

you’re sleeping in two different rooms again, you in the guest bedroom, and he’s in your cold, empty bed. and there’s no way he can sleep that night judging by all the tossing and turning he’s done so far. your latest fight echoes in his head—all the nasty things he said, all the vile things you responded with. 

just fuck off then, and don’t bother me again! those were your last words of the night before you slammed the door shut and the loud, defining thud echoed through the whole house. 

when morning finally arrives, he knows he has to do it. 

he knows he owes you at least this much. to break it off with dignity. to salvage whatever shreds of friendship and love that remain between you. 

“we need to talk,” he says as soon as you enter the kitchen, eyes swollen and red and surrounded by bags. lips dry and chapped. 

still, you nod. and matty extends you a steaming mug of coffee for the last time.

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

he is so down to commit! 

he’s started planning a proposal like a year into the relationship. he hasn’t bought the ring yet or anything! in fact, he’s not going to buy a ring at all. not when he plans on giving you his grandmother’s precious ring that she wore every single day until the day she died. 

however, he knows the timing's not right. you’re both so busy and you’ve just started a new job. he has a few more tours coming up for the next two years. and well, he has his best friend’s wedding coming up soon, he’s not about to be the dickhead that proposes at someone else’s wedding. 

so matty keeps the proposal contained to his day dreams. 

he knows it’s going to be at home (he knows how much you despise public proposals) and he knows it’s going to be during the golden hour when you cuddle into him like a sleepy cat. he loves this routine—you, sleepy and gasping for a nap, plopping onto him when he’s just doing his own thing in the living room. 

he loves how content you look in the dying light of the sun. how happy and beautiful and utterly perfect. 

and matty knows, when he eventually gets down on one knee and asks you to marry him, that’s when it’s going to have to be!

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

so incredibly gentle!

you can’t remember a single time matty’s ever raised his voice at you. he used to be your pretty, dainty boy but he’s started working out now and he’s got muscles (which you find extremely hot. he’s also got a cute little bubble butt that you love to slap). it’s not that he’s unaware of his own strength but now he puts extra effort in being gentler if you two ever get into a play fight. 

he makes sure to never fully pin you down (unless you ask for it 👀) or put his whole weight on you. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

he loves them on most days. 

his hugs are always the absolute best! it’s like being surrounded by all things matty—his cologne and aftershave, his arms, the softness of his shirt and the feel of his chin on top of your head. you think a hug from matty is the closest you’ll ever come to having a universal cure for every ailment ever. 

on some days he gets quite overstimulated though. you can see it on his face when every single sensation becomes a bit too much and as much as you want to bundle him up, you try to give him his space. to let him calm down a bit. you can always just sit there and hold his hand if that’s all the touch he can bear for the moment. 

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

one month in, completely on accident!

you’re sick with the bubonic plague (a cold) and rotting in bed, surrounded by used tissues, half-empty cups of lemsip, and your trusty little comfort plush. matty’s in full nurse mode, despite you telling him that it’s nothing, you’ll be fine if he left. 

it’s only when george calls him for something work related that he relents. 

“let me check your fever one last time before i go,” he insists and you roll your eyes. but you have no other choice but to give in. it’s a 100 degrees, exactly what it was an hour ago. not too bad at all, but matty frowns. 

“i’ll be back in a few hours, darling, you have to promise to call me if you need anything okay?”

“i will!” you croak out and wince when your throat protests. “now go.”

he holds his hands up in surrender and bends down to press a kiss on your head. 

“don’t wanna get you sick matty,” you try to protest weakly but even then you know it’s useless. he’s going to do whatever he wants. 

“go to sleep now,” he says, “i’ll see you soon. i love you!” and then he leaves. 

ten minutes later, when it finally registers in your fever addled brain, your entire body goes cold. did he—

did you hear it right? no… it’s just the fever right? you’re sick! that must be it. 

little do you know, matty had to sit down outside your room for a good two minutes before he could leave the house. and now that he’s in the studio, distractedly working on producing a track, he can’t stop grinning like an idiot.

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

he used to get soooo jealous back when you were “just friends”! (he still is, he just thinks he hides it better)

the first time you really clock it is when you bring a friend to one of their shows. you know sean’s been a fan of theirs for a bit and frankly, you’re quite excited about introducing him to the band. 

matty, however, is as far away from excitement as one can get. 

he tries to mask his unease, and greets you with a forced smile. “heard you were our special guest, mate,” he nods in sean’s direction and puts his arm around your waist. “hope you enjoyed the show?”

if sean finds any of it weird, he doesn’t say it. he’s smiles bashfully and gushes about how much fun it’s been. you, on the other hand…

“matty…?” you say as soon as you get a moment alone with him. 

he’s outside smoking a cigarette staring off into the distance. his jaw looks sharper than it usually does, his lips are pursed in a straight line. you take a deep breath, contemplating whether to address the obvious tension or let it slide. the distant city lights flicker in the background as you approach him, and he finally turns his attention towards you, exhaling a plume of smoke.

"alright?" your tone is a mix of concern and curiosity. when his eyes meet yours, for a moment, it feels like he's searching for the right words.

he shrugs, attempting a nonchalant smile. but you can see through it. so you fold your arms, giving him a knowing look.

matty sighs, stubbing out his cigarette. he leans against the venue's brick wall, avoiding direct eye contact. “thought we were going out for drinks later. just us two you know?”

ahhhh. so that’s what it is. 

a tiny tendril of something shoots through your stomach, does something funny to your entire body. 

“we are,” you try to stifle a smile. “do you not want to anymore?”

“what? no!” matty sputters, “i mean, yes! of course, i want to get drinks with you, i just thought…”

“you just thought?”

“well you brought a… friend.”

it becomes almost impossible to hide a smile then, and matty narrows his eyes. “you’re laughing at me,” he accuses and narrows his eyes further when you burst into a fit of giggles. 

“he’s going home in a bit,” you manage to recover a bit. “you’re stuck with just me i’m afraid.”

that makes matty shake his head and you can finally see a tiny smile peaking through. 

“just you… hmm,” he teases. “guess i’ll have to make do with that.”

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

his kisses always leave you a little breathless. 

it doesn’t matter if it’s your first kiss of the day or if he’s been particularly affectionate or if he’s kissed you all over the face—you somehow always end up giggling like a teenager with a crush with your head spinning slightly.

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

so good, it gives you immense baby fever for the next few weeks. 

it’s three months into your relationship when his mum insists you spend christmas with their family and you agree to it happily!

his entire family is there! his mum and step-father, his brother and his girlfriend, his dad, his step-brother who’s just had a baby. and that’s the moment you know you’re about to suffer from raging baby fever. 

the whole weekend matty is absolutely adorable with the baby. you see him offer to take care of her and feed and change her, you see him making her laugh and smile, but it’s when you see him singing her to sleep, that’s when you truly lose it. 

matty doesn’t even know you’re watching him, he's completely immersed in singing his own rendition of you are my sunshine while the baby stares at him with sleepy eyes. but it almost makes you weep when she clutches his finger in her tiny hand and starts to dose off. 

the image lingers in the forefront of your mind even when you’re trying to sleep, being spooned by matty and under a cosy duvet. so much so that you have to turn around and bury your face in his chest to stop yourself from squealing at the cuteness. 

he’s long asleep by then though. all he does is tighten his hold around you and you’re left to dream of a tiny baby with your eyes and matty’s curls. 

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

when you’re not getting off to… other things… mornings are usually very calm and chill. more often than not, one of you wakes the other with a steaming mug of coffee. if it’s a busy day and you don’t have much time to be lazy and cuddly, you just chat about your plans for the day while having coffee and some breakfast. 

if it is a lazy day, however, breakfast usually turns into brunch in bed, followed by a nice, long bath full of bubbles!

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights are just as sweet and way more cuddly. 

both of you have a little ritual of reading in bed before going to sleep if you aren’t… otherwise occupied. still, he loves to just sit there and listen to you talk about your day or your work in general. 

it always makes you laugh how excited he gets about any work gossip you might have for him. 

overall, your nights together are so relaxing and sweet and genuinely make you appreciate him so much more.

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

in all fairness you knew much more about matty than he knew about you. he’s always been so open about his friendships and music and all his struggles, still, you knew hearing it from him first hand was going to be different. and you also expected it to take some time. 

he doesn’t reveal it all at once though, he thinks he’s trying to make it more palatable for you if he talks about stuff bit by bit. 

you’re special to him. he doesn’t want to scare you away by trauma dumping outright! it takes him a bit to open up completely, even when you show him nothing but support. but the more he shares with you, the deeper he falls in love. the more it becomes clear to him that you’re here to stay. 

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

anger isn’t the right word for it really! mostly he just gets annoyed sometimes—like a sweet little toddler with his cheeks puffed up it’s almost funny if it wasn’t so downright adorable. he can’t stay annoyed though! one kiss from you (even though it’s usually multiple in quick succession. a strategic attack really!) his annoyance melts away like butter on toast.

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

matty’s like a walking encyclopaedia for trivia related to you and your relationship! he might not remember what he ate for dinner the night before, but he remembers exactly what earrings you wore for your music awards with him.

you do cheekily quiz him sometimes, and matty just smirks like an insufferable twat. “you can try all you want, love, you can’t best me at this game.” he grins. 

“oh yeah? that’s a lot of cockiness healy!”

“go on then, quiz me!” he challenges and you smirk back. 

“what did i say before i kissed you for the first time? four years ago that is! i need it verbatim, babe.”

for a moment he looks speechless and the smile on your face widens. it was four years ago after all. you’ve had infinite kisses since then, there’s no way he remembers. definitely not verbatim. 

matty stalks closer. “you said…” he drawls between one long stride and the next and then he’s right there in front of you, mouth hovering over yours. so close your lips are almost touching. the air between you two feels charged with lightning. 

“you said, you wanted to do this, and i quote ‘since the first time you fixed my smudged lipstick with your thumb’.” and before you have the chance to even react, he’s crashing his mouth on yours, smiling against your lips.

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

it’s been fondly dubbed as “the mayhem disaster”. 

one morning you hear matty go, “no, no, no, mayhem!” you put your book aside, and sit up to listen the curses that follow. 

“everything alright?” you call out, confused and curious. 

“babe, can you come here a sec?” he responds, making you groan into your cosy cocoon you'd made for yourself. it rained all night before, and now the weather’s just the perfect combination of gloomy and cosy—perfect to cuddle with your boyfriend all day. 

which is what you had been doing until ten minutes ago when matty had to get up to let mayhem out into the backyard. 

you turn the corner into the living room only to freeze in your tracks and slap your hand on your mouth, still failing to stifle the loud gasp that leaves you. 

in front of you sits matty, on the floor, his head in his hands and next to him stands mayhem. except his gorgeous black fur is now fully covered and matted with mud

behind him, you can see muddy tracks and stray leaves he's brought in. 

“oh no…” you don’t know if you should laugh or cry at the scene in front of you. 

“baby…” you coo softly, both at matty and mayhem, “what happened?”

“he ran straight for a puddle the second i let him out, didn’t you, you twat?” he scolds the pup making you tsk. 

that makes him laugh though. shaking his head, matty gets off the floor. 

“well, come on you, straight to the bathroom,” he points a finger in the vague direction. 

when the two of you finally manage to get him in the tub, matty starts running a bath while you rummage through the cabinet for pet shampoo. 

“be a good boy now,” you scratch mayhem behind his ear, grimacing at the mud that’s now under your fingernails. 

you crouch down to his level, softly grabbing his face and about to start cleaning. but of course, he takes it as an invitation to play and begins nuzzling you with his head, trying to climb on you. 

matty laughs, making absolutely no move to help you. mayhem, covered in mud, tries to climb on you as you try to set him back into the tub gently. but it’s far too late, you’re already covered in mud.

“fuck! my favourite t-shirt!” you whine, looking down at yourself in despair. 

“it’s not even yours,” matty laughs while you scowl at him. “besides,” he waggles his eyebrows, “you can always take it off.”

“pervert,” you laugh at him and then proceed to take it off in one fluid motion and chuck it at his face. 

your eyes widen when the t-shirt slides off his face, leaving a perfectly round muddy mark on his cheek.

“you got mud on my face, didn’t you?” he dips a hand in the tub and you know what’s coming. “didn’t you?!” he asks again before splashing a handful of water on you. 

you squeal as he grabs your waist, pulling you closer, rubbing his cheek against your face, neck, chest. 

“matty!” you laugh, trying to get away from him but he holds on tight. “get her, mayhem, get her,’ he giggles and the puppy covers you in wet kisses once again.

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s always been protective of you, especially when you’re in public. he doesn’t have to worry about the fans being rude or agressive, but the same can’t be said about random photographers and tabloids.

you thought you knew the extent of his protectiveness. all of that changed the moment you found out you were expecting. 

you thought you knew his mother hen tendencies inside and out, turns out you were absolutely dead wrong! matty hovers. so. much. 

he’s there, holding your hair every time you find yourself throwing up. he’s there cancelling on appointments and on the boys on days he deems the morning sickness “too serious”. most of all, he won’t let you go up or down the stairs alone. at all. 

“i’m pregnant, matty, not an invalid!” you whine one evening when you feel him hovering behind you as you make your way up the stairs. 

“i know,” he drags it out as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “i’m just making extra sure.”

your eye twitches. “making sure of what? that the stair monster doesn’t get me?”

you kow he’s rolling his eyes without being able to see his face. “alright, smartarse. i meant more if you got dizzy halfway up or down the stairs.”

“i’ll sit down!”

he hmphs, completely dismissing that logic. 

“baby, the stairs have a railing for a reason!”

he hmphs again. “didn’t know it was a crime to make sure my girls were safe!”

that makes you sigh. this is a petty squabble—it’s not your first, it certainly won’t be your last. once you reach the top of the stairs, you turn to face him with another long sigh. “look, baby, i appreciate the concern, but i'm not made of glass. i can handle a flight of stairs without a chaperone.”

“indulge me, okay! we can have this argument every time, or you can just ignore my presence when you’re going up or down the stairs. either way, i’m going to hover.”

“matty!”

but you know it’s useless. besides, his stubbornness is almost endearing. and between that and the pampering that comes with the protectiveness, you might as well just give up your stance now… 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts in so much thought! it has been like this since date one—since he made sure to accommodate your likes and dislikes and food preferences in finding the perfect place to eat. even after all these years, he takes his time to plan out everything. even if it’s just an at home pamper day for you while he does all the chores. 

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

it’s a low hanging fruit but… the excessive smoking annoys you sometimes. especially because his voice is his job. you’ve told him multiple times to tone it down a little and it’s not like he doesn’t listen. it just… doesn’t always stick.

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

depends on where he has to go and what the occasion is. he’ll be dressed to the nines if he has to accompany you to a party or an event but usually he’s fine being in soft comfy clothes that keep him cosy 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes! 

this literally needs zero explanation. 

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

pots and pans clatter; great, banging sounds first thing in the morning in an otherwise serene kitchen. it wouldn’t be like this, not really but you’re both incredibly sleepy. two figures, one tall and hunched over, the other smaller, softer. cuddled into him. the kitchen is awash in the early morning light, too early if you were to be asked  but you’re okay with it. you’re happy and content as long as you get to stay stuck to matty’s side. 

he cracks an egg. 

“a sunny side up? still want that?” he asks and then laughs to himself. it’s an inside joke to him because, in the end, you’re going to end up stealing the eggs on his plate (a soft scramble) and accuse him of putting more care into his breakfast. which is exactly why he does it; puts more love into “his” breakfast that is. he knows you’re going to end up stealing it.  

“can’t have you changing your mind again, darling.” matty ruffles your hair affectionately and tugs at the claw clip holding them together. they cascade down your shoulders; messy, frizzy and big. 

this early morning everything is a bit fuzzy; your head, your thoughts. “mmm,” you respond. a sleepy little hmm. it’s quite possibly a yes, or it could be a “hold on i’m still thinking” or even a “don’t really feel like eggs anymore”. in all your years together, deciphering your hmms has been his biggest challenge. 

“alright then,” a pause. you cuddle closer simply because his t-shirt is soft and he is very warm. this early in the morning you have no sense of anything else but the familiar warmth and the sizzling of the pan. 

“i’ll make some coffee for us,” you volunteer and move away. 

the bubbling of the kettle almost puts you back to sleep; it’s soothing, rhythmic. but you keep yourself occupied. your favourite mugs are always hung side by side. his is comically large, in the shape of a pint glass; you always tease him about not being able to finish the coffee, about always finding cold remnants at the bottom of the mug. 

yours on the other hand looks more like a bowl; soft pink with tiny daisies all over it. you like holding it in both hands and cuddling it close to soak up some of the liquid’s warmth. on days that are especially cold, matty calls it your “emotional support mug”. and it is. 

“okay we have to time this,” you announce and carefully pour hot water into the french press. so now he has about four minutes to finish the eggs. that’s alright, four minutes is all he needs.

“get the plates for us, would you?” he asks, bumping his hip into yours. it’s partly to wake you up some more, partly because he’s not very coordinated first thing in the morning either. 

you’re about to grumble. getting the plate means leaving your comfy spot and having to open the door, dig around, close it again; so much work really. but matty is quicker. he knows this grumble is coming and he knows a tiny kiss on your nose always does wonders. 

unfair really, that he should know you that well. 

“hmm,”  you huff and start the trek to the cabinet. matty snickers at the way you drag your feet, like a child being told to clean her room. always a grump before you’ve had some food and caffeine. 

“such a grump,” he teases, “c’mere.” 

when you stop in front of him, two plates in hand, he immediately sets them aside and pulls you close. your eyes are droopy, soft and sleepy. there’s no resistance when he tilts your chin and kisses you sweetly; a lingering soft kiss. 

then he holds the steaming mug of coffee in front of you. 

it’s as if the aroma makes you come alive; you perks up instantly, eyes finally open and hands reaching to cradle the bowl-like mug, to hold it close to your chest. you don't just drink the coffee, you indulge in it. 

“right!’ you speak after a few sips, and proceed to steal his eggs.

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

snobbiness is a big no no. he really hates it when people retend like they’re better than someone else just because they have more fame or success or money. 

he would absolutely despise himself if he ever turned into that person. and regardless of who he’s with at the moment, he makes sure that they don’t possess that quality. 

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

so erratic it’s worrying sometimes. 

you tried to figure out if he was a night owl or a morning bird but it’s genuinely so unpredictable that you had to give up after a few weeks later. 

one thing remains consistent though, wherever he is, he won’t go to bed without talking to you and telling you he loves you! even if he’s on the other side of the world, calling you with sleepy eyes and drooping curls while you hold your morning cup of coffee. even if he’s just got back home at 2 am and you’re already fast asleep. matty makes sure to whisper a little i love you and place a kiss on your head before he goes to bed. 

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[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n brother), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

°•More under cut•°

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! (this specific chapter might be cringe)

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Thinking about it you realized you met him at Yunah's party. That was the day you met the Lee Siblings! Also when he met you and asked "I like you can i have your number?" Remembering that you decided to relive that moment and started replaying the memories.

You were at Yunah's house and she asked you to grab somethign from her room. You didnt know that the room on the right was hers and you went to the left. Oh boy did you know what was happening in there. You walked in to the room on the left and walked in to see some random group of hot dudes all playing League Of Legends. You did NOT expect that. "Oh sorry, but what are you doing in Yunah's room?" You asked the group of boys. Wow you were stupid. "Uh this is my room.." You tilt your head as you look at the boy who said that. His room? Who is he? "Uh who are you?". Are you dumb though? "Wow thats a new one. I guess ill introduce myself. Im Lee Heeseung." Holy shit bro. You never seen him but heard about him. Your in THE LEE HEESEUNGS room. "Oh sorry-" you tried saying before getting cut off. "Its fine your Yoon Y/N right?" Heeseung said. How did he know? "Oh yeah." You say shrugging. "Oh your Keeho's brother right? Your the most popular girl" Someone else shouts. "Oh uhm yeah!" you say trying to leave the room but they keep talking to you. "Im Jake." Oh so the one who said your keehos brother is Jake. "Dont be friends with him! Hes a loser and a bop. Im Riki." oh, so this is a competition about friends. "Yah! Dont say that Riki, your making yourself a loser! By the way im Sunoo :)" wow. so your gonna assume the other 3 are Sunghoon, Jay, and Jungwon. How do you know this? Yunah told you about them, plus you've seen them. "Oh well ima go bye!" You said while looking at Heeseung. He was smiling and you might have smiled back. You walk into Yunah's room and grab her hat like she asked. "Im back!" you yell walking down.

"What took you so long Yn?" Yunah asked you. "I got a little distracted" Wait when did he ask you out? That night lasted FOREVER. Oh yeah when you went to grab a jelly shot he and his friend group was there. You tried grabbing the jelly shots from the cabinet (why were they there?) but failed. You were lowkey embarrassed. "Here i got you." Someone says pressing his body against your while reaching to get it. You turn around "Oh thanks hee-" you got cut off AGAIN. "Your welcome princess. By the way your really pretty!" Heeseung says while smiling at you. "Oh thanks" You say and all you can hear from behind was "OOOH~!" bro- anyway. "I like you can i have your number?" What do you say? A really hot,tall,pretty guy just asked YOU for YOUR number. "Yeah sure!" You say and dial your number into his phone. "Thanks" He says then you walk away. You go back to Yunah,Karina,And Wonyoung. "Heeseung just gave me his number now what do i do?" You looked annnoyed but was not. "GIRL ARE YOU NOT EXCITED?! YOU GOT LEE HEESEUNGS NUMBER!" thats all you remembered so then you went to the next party and then the next hoping to see him until one day

You were at Jake's party and they were bumping loud music and you were lowkey over-stimulated. The people everywhere you went were loud and someone noticed it and pulled you to the side. "Hey you okay? You dont look so good" It was Heeseung. "Oh yeah just over-stimulated." you reply. "Yeah, Sometimes it gets too loud."

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AN: Did i just leave yall like that. YES. It was short cause i lowkey feel sick and literally am throwing up. But i hope you enjoyed this so far. We are halfway through this FF woooo!

[thetourturedwritersclub]

Finis vitae sed non amoris-its the end of life but not of love

Chapter five:January

January 1st 1977

Dear diary,

Oh Merlin. I have such bad hangover. I shouldn't have drank that much but I didn't have enough to forget what happened yesterday. I. Kissed. James. Potter. Why? Would I do that? What if he remembers? What if he hates me? Why do I care if he hates me? Oh my god. I can never show my face to Potter. Ever. I will go have a mental breakdown and cringe from embarrassment. Goodbye for now

R. A. B

January 4th 1977

Dear diary,

Merlin thank you! Potter was so drunk yesterday that he doesn't remember a thing. But I do and I can't seem to forget that. kiss.Good that means I won't have to dissappear from the face of the earth. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

January 11th 1977

Dear diary,

I can't keep this secret anymore. That memory is driving me crazy. The feeling, the sparks and everything about it. I have to tell someone about it. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

January 15th 1977

Dear diary,

Well. Pandora knows. She didn't judge me thankfully. She was very supportive and also curious for the details. She also told me something about opening my eyes a little. I don't know what she means by that but I do want to figure it out. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

January 19th 1977

Dear diary,

Today I had a tutoring session with Potter and book club with Lily and Remus. This time he needed help with a Defense against the dark arts spell. He had everything else correct except the form, which with what I helped him. Then I meet with the book club. We caught up with each other, gossiped and hose the new read " Pride and Prejudice" from Jane Austen. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

January 23rd 1977

Dear diary,

The workload has now decreased, which is really nice. I now finally have time for myself. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

January 27th 1977

Dear diary,

Barty and Evan are FINALLY together!! Finally!! I've been waiting so long! Apperently they were together since New Years Party. Also Pandora has started to indirect teasing about James. Saying that I like him. I DON'T. Maybe I do and so far it has been hell. Goodbye for now

R. A. B

January 31st 1977

Dear diary,

Last tutoring session with Potter for this month. I'm not quite happy about it. The atmosphere when we're alone has just become so tense. I don't like it. I screwed up something didn't I? I thought we became friends. I thought we had potential for more

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello yall!! This chapter features Slow burn, angsty starchaser, sad Reg, our favourite book club and Rose killer!! Thank you for reading my fic and if you have any feedback pls write it in the comments!!!

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[wish-i-were-heather]

This is a long post but not a vent its the opposite of a vent ykwim like a long happy rant

I love you all so much.

Maybe I’m just all dramatic and emotional because I’m on my period, maybe because I’m writing this late at night and I’m gonna think it’s really cringe in the morning, but I love you guys so much. Tumblr has brought me so much joy. I’ve been here for maybe three or four months now? And I can’t really think of a time in my life where I was happier. 

I first made an account after scrolling aimlessly. I would go onto the tumblr website and it would let me search a bit until it was like “you need to make an account to keep going!!” And then I’d just close it and move on. But then one day I decided  hey what the heck just do it. So I made an account, and I didn’t really know what I was doing. I came up with this username because I liked conan gray, I gave myself  a daphne blake profile picture because she has red hair, and just kinda explored. 

I looked through tags of fandoms I love like the inheritance games and pjo and shatter me and even scythe (which was when i was then brought to the realization that the aoas fandom really is dead everywhere even here😔). But I just kinda explored.

Then I found all you guys, the cute aesthetic tumblrinas! And omg I thought everyone was so cool. Pretty much everyone I’m mutuals with now is someone who i found their blog and was like OMG I WANNA BE ONE OF THEM!! I loved the friendships and the connection and just seeing everyone interact made me so happy. I think one of the first people to follow me back was Belle and I remember I legit freaked out because omg!! Shes so cool!! 

Now that I’m telling the story it’s a little embarrassing, but it’s fine. I just know I was slowly growing my blog and meeting new people but I still didn’t feel like I had real friends, it hadn’t been that long. But I think it all kinda happened after I accidentally deleted my account, and I sent panic asks to everyone. And you guys were so nice and so sweet and for a lot of people it was some of the first interactions we had. 

I have the world’s worst memory, but it just kinda took off from there. 

And now I am friends with all you guys!! I’m so incredibly glad I decided to make this blog that day because omg. I’d seen people talk about online friends but I’d never had any. But now?? OMGG I UNDERSTAND!!! I finally have people who are just as obsessed with the books/tv/movies/music/everything that I am!! 

My friends IRL are nice, they’ve read the books I read, but I cant talk to them the way I do you guys, yknow? Tumblr is literally just such a safe space for me. I have a bad day, come online, and my mood is lifted. It makes me so happy and it also makes me feel so validated for whatever weird interests or feelings I have! I have a weird thought? Post it to tumblr! It’s just so amazing, how there’s people all over the world who care about me even a little, even just enough to like my shitposts. 

I’ve even infiltrated both the shatter me and tig roleplays, and I’ve really just done everything I could’ve hoped for when I joined tumblr. I used to be the one watching everyone interact, and now I am the one interacting! I don't think you guys understand how much you all mean to me. Especially as someone with bad social anxiety, who struggles with making friends irl. I also don’t believe in popularity in schools, thats stupid, but technically i’m not a “popular kid.” So I have friends, but not a billion. But here? Everyone is friends on tumblr!! It’s so amazing. I love you all so much. 

That’s long and honestly pretty sappy, also yall probably don't care about my whole tumblr history and how i got here (plus no one asked), but I felt like i wanted to share. There’s so much more I wanna say, but surprisingly enough as a writer, I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings over writing. My love language is physical touch, not words of affirmation. Which suckss cause i cant give you guys that. But this is as good as i can get. 

So thank you to everyone, my mutuals and followers and whatever. Thank you for being so loving. Thank you for being stupid with me. Thank you for listening to me rant about nonsense. Thank you for liking my posts. thank you for being here. Thank you for making me feel safe.

Cause every time I get a notification, I smile. It’s hard not to, when I know everyone is so amazing. I hope you think of me when you listen to heather, because I always think of you when i listen to online love. Anyway, I love you all. I hope we meet one day. Actually, scratch that. We will  meet one day. That is a threat :)

LOVE YOU ALL MUAH MUAH MUAH IM BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW BTW WERE GONNA WATCH HALLOWEEN MOVIES AND HAVE HOT CHOCOLATE AND GO TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH AND DO A BIG GROUP COSTUME AND GO TRICK OR TREATING TOGETHER GET READY 😋😋

[spider-man-199999]

Hey, how are you? could you write something with blackcat!reader? maybe they are in college and after a patrol peter manages to follow her and discovers that she lives in a frat next to his. Peter discovers her identity and is surprised that she went to school with him in midtown but doesn't remember him, just spiderman and the relationship they had before the spell.

(does that make sense? I don't know if it does, but whatever you want to do with it is completely fine✨️)

Oh boy, oh boy I love Blackcat x Spider-man as a couple. Me and Felicia are equally obsessed with Spider-man.

Thank you for the request! I really appreciate it and I hope I do well! University is kicking my ass right now.

pairing: college!Peter Parker x Fem!blackcatReader; Post nwh

word count: 3 k

warnings: It's cringe on purpose; drinking

Peter hated the state his life was in. He knew things were better the way they are now, for his safety, for everyone's. But it didn't mean he hated it any less. All his closest friends were at MIT and didn't even remember him. Not as Peter Parker at least. So, he decided it would be best not to go there after all. The idea of trying to get close to them again was giving him a headache. He desperately wanted to do it but he had to stop himself because it was better off this way. That was what he believed, at least.

If people could remember who he was, they would have been very surprised that he ended up being a frat guy in college. He didn't expect to become one either. After all, he thought these things were lame, propaganda from dumb movies or dream-sellings from romance novels. But Peter Parker was a frat guy. There was something about brotherhood that gave him some sense of security and comfort now that a new leaf was turned. It reminded him of the time he spent with the Avengers, in a way. He liked not feeling alone. The months he spent at college made him feel normal to some extent. He actually enjoyed this period of confusion, he could finally relax for a bit and feel normal. Go to a few parties, do his homework. It was nice, but so goddamn boring.

His life seemed so fucked-up, so different. He hadn't been on patrol for months, the thought of Spider-man was just too overwhelming. Plus, he needed to recover from everything he went through both emotionally and physically. He wanted to put the mask on again but whenever he did, he got vivid flashbacks - almost losing MJ, May dying. It would all come back to him, cold sweat running down his back, tears in his eyes. He just couldn't handle being Spider-man. But when he saw Black Cat running around in the streets close to his campus one night, everything changed. 

All of the memories from patrols with the girl in a black suit hit him like a train. She never knew who was behind the mask. And somehow Peter felt like she saw who he really was anyway. The urge to put the costume on was strong now, plus he had added some new upgrades he needed to try out anyway. So, on the most ordinary wednesday night, Peter put on the spider suit again, and jumped out of the window of his bedroom to go on patrol.

He was swinging around the city and it felt like a walk in the park. It seemed like he had forgotten how freeing it could be. Despite all of the negative feelings linked to the red and black suit, he found comfort in it now. The memories were still there, in his mind, and the people he loved were there too. He owed that much to them, to keep their legacy alive, even if they're gone now. With time, he was sure he could heal. Time was all he needed.

Suddenly, his spider-sense tingled, making his head shoot to his left. He was swinging by some old brick buildings around his campus when Black Cat practically tackled him into a wall, wrapping both her arms and legs around his torso. He turned his back to take the hit for both of them, wrapping one arm around her waist for support. Sidey used the other hand to continue swinging both of them around the city.

"SPIDER!" she said, hugging him tightly. "Mi amor, I hate you, where have you been?"

"Looking for trouble, as usual." he said with a laugh. Peter actually enjoyed her warm embrace for once.

He never had anything against the girl, her excessive flirting and implications that she was in love with him could get a bit out of hand sometimes, but he found it charming. Plus, before he was dating someone else and he couldn't really pay her the attention she craved from him. He actually missed that more than he had previously realised.

"You still have a girlfriend?" She asked, her head rested on his collarbone for a while.

Peter landed both of them on a rooftop, letting her step on her own as her limbs untangled from his torso. She placed her hands on her hips, foot tapping on the ground while she waited for his answer.

"Actually, no. I don't."

Her eyes sparkled with his words, throwing herself at him again. Her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Oh, Spider! I'm so happy! And sorry, obviously, why did you two end it?"

Peter usually would reject the affection she offered, but now he needed it more than anything. She was the closest thing to a friend he had left. They finally let go and he still wasn't talking. She tought the break-up was probably still fresh.

"Okay, Spider. Patrols haven't been the same without you, I missed you." she told him, her hand resting against his cheek.

Oh how she wanted to kiss him, like usual. He used to jump and run whenever she touched him, in fear that it would somehow affect his relationship with MJ. But now he didn't. He let her touch his face, smiling softly behind the mask. Even if everything was fucked up, even if everything was different for him now, she just wasn't. She was the only thing that remained like a token from his past life. The Black Cat was the only thing he had left.

---

By the end of their patrol both of them felt really beat up. Fighting crime was not an easy job, especially when your opponents were skilled. No major super-villains were threatening New York right now, but there still were bad guys to fight.

Spider-man and Black Cat were sitting on the edge of a rooftop, swinging their legs as they took a moment to breathe. Cat had a few scratches here and there and Spider-man was probably bruised under the mask as well.

"Spider, this was so much better with you here!" She exclaimed.

The wind blew her hair gently to the side while she looked down on New York. Peter turned his head to look at her, her face showered in the sparkling city lights. He thought about how pretty she actually was, but he never had the chance to notice that before. Maybe it really was the comfort that she gave him that was making his heart beat faster while he stared at the scene. She looked like a Van Gogh painting - vibrant, breathtaking, gently touched by the warm light.

"Yeah." He replied, making her look at him in return.

"You were totally falling in love with me right now, weren't you?" she said with a giggle.

"What? No, no, no, no." he shook his hands in defence, denying her accusation.

She stood up, looking somewhere ahead of her.

"I would love to stay and let you fall deeper in love with me, but I have to run, early morning tomorrow." And with that she left.

Peter lay down on the rooftop for a little while, overthinking her words. Was he actually falling in love with her? Maybe... He didn't want to jump to conclusions, he didn't want to make her a rebound after MJ either. It was starting to mess with him, just as he found some serenity. It was like he couldn't have a single moment of peace in this costume. After a good 15 minutes, Peter decided it was time to swing back to the house, just like Black Cat, he had classes early in the morning.

He had almost reached his place when a familiar figure caught his attention. He stopped, sticking to a wall just to make sure. It was Black Cat, and she was on campus. His campus. Well this was getting a bit too interesting to pass up. He crawled and jumped around the buildings to follow her, stopping when she did. He climbed up a wall to a house next to where the cat stopped, peeking just enough to see clearly what was going on. The Black Cat took her mask off, placing it in a gym bag that was hidden next to the back door. His mouth flew open when he realized he finally knew who she was. Not only was she someone on campus, living a sorority right next to his frat house, but he also knew her personally. Peter hid behind the wall completely, trying to process the information. It was you, the girl that he went to high school with, the girl that took AP history with him. It took him a few seconds, but when he looked again, you were already gone. A room in the house light up soon after, and he started feeling guilty for what he did. He would have hated it if someone did this to him.

"Good going, Spyder-man!" he cussed at himself, finally going home for the night.

He tried not to make things awkward with you for the next few weeks, but oh gosh was he terrible at that. The two of you were never close, the fact that you came from the same school never really meant anything to the either of you. But now that Peter knew your secret identity, it meant everything to him. It felt like he had found a long lost friend in you. He tried to get closer, talk to you more whenever he saw you, even invite you to the latest frat party. If he knew one thing about Black Cat, she loved having fun. And what better occasion to have fun than an actual frat party, at a frat house.

Of course, you agreed. What was one night away from the crime scenes? You deserved that, plus, Spider-man got you covered, right? Nothing could really go wrong, you literally needed seconds to get into the suit and go if you had to. You did find Peter Parker's new attitude towards you a bit peculiar, but it was cute nonetheless. You were only really interested in Spider-man, but you loved attention no matter who was giving it. Outside of the costume, you still had this care-free, very self-assured personality but a little toned down. It wasn't always easy to be the one to fight the battles for yourself all of the time. And you had to do it, every single day. Maybe there was a reason why you liked Spider-man so much, you two felt like a team, like it wasn't just you alone against the world for a change.

----

The time of the party came quicker than you thought. Your "sisters" were already pulling you by the hand out of your room. In true Black Cat spirit, you just had to wear a tight black dress with a slit on the side. And a choker around your neck. It was only normal to make heads turn when you walked in the frat house. Your sorority wasn't one that liked partying all of the time, but when you did party, things just got crazy.

"Y/N!" you heard, turning your head to see an unfamiliar boy.

He shoved a cup in your hand.

"Peter is in the backyard, wanted me to take you to him when you got here."

"Yeah, cute, but that's not gonna happen." You winked at the boy and walked off to mingle somewhere else.

You actually really wanted to dance with your girls tonight. And you did just that, a full cup in your hand the whole time. At some point you couldn't really remember how much you drank, there were some shots involved. You were having so much fun, even dancing on top of a table. A hand grabbed your arm suddenly making you look, it was the guy from earlier tonight, you got off the table with a jump so you could talk. You were obviously annoyed by his interruption, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Look, I'm so sorry to bother you, but it's been 2 hours and Peter was asking me about you-"

"I don't care." you interrupted him, turning around with the intention of leaving him there. He placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

"Please, I've been lying to him for two hours, I'll be in so much trouble."

You looked at him over your shoulder, gently removing it with your hand.

"If Parker wants to see me so bad, he should come get me." You winked at him and left.

Dancing on top of tables didn't seem so fun now, and your head was feeling pretty light from all of the alcohol. You overheard some girls from your house mention a pool and you immediately walked over to them, placing your arms on the shoulders of each one of them, standing between them.

"Did I hear pool?" the three of you giggled after the question.

----

Your dress was wet, along with your hair and pretty much everything else on your body. Yes, the three of you really did jump in the pool, which caused a chain reaction of other people jumping in as well. Soon the party had drunk, wet people, running around everywhere. Cats rarely liked water and you were no exception. You didn't mind it as much as long as you weren't in the costume. So, after swimming for a little bit you got out, squeezing out some water from the hem of your dress when you felt something cover your shoulders. You turned around, your eyes meeting Peter's, who had placed a towel on you and smiled. You squinted your eyes at him, letting go of the dress and standing up straight to look at him.

"It's cold." he said

"Yeah, thanks?"

It was so sweet of him to be so considerate, it made you feel very weird things, but maybe it was the alcohol. Peter put his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously.

"So..." he started "How's it going?"

"Are you usually this awkward or...?"

''Yeah, kinda"

"So it's not my stunning beauty, just you?"

"No, well I mean, your beauty does make it a lot worse for me, but no."

You laughed, drying your hair off with the towel.

"If I didn't know any better, I would assume you were crushing on me." you said, giving him back his towel.

"No, what? What gave you that impression?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm in love with someone else."

"Wait, who?" he asked, trying to act confused.

You turned your back to him, trying to hide the blush you had on.

"Well, I don't really... know yet." you said, already taking off so you could hide from him.

-----

It was kind of embarrassing to admit that you were in love with someone you didn't really know. It's not like you didn't know Spider-man, you just didn't know who the person behind the mask was. But truthfully, you never felt a need to do that. You were content with the teammate you had, the person who was there to watch your back. You were in love with the person who would put himself in harm's way to save others, the person who always seemed to know what to say. He was so brave and dedicated to his mission, his heart was pure. Sure, you used to be curious about his identity in the beginning but with time it just stopped mattering. There was something bigger, something greater about your love for him because of this.

And you couldn't help but feel conflicted when you started feeling the same things towards Peter Parker. He definitely wasn't the first guy to express an interest in you, or be consistent with said interest but there was something about him that just made you feel warm inside. Maybe it was his nerdiness and how smart he was, or it was the way he would smile whenever he saw you. How he would try so hard to find something to talk about with you and how he would research any topic you would mention. He was so overly-sweet and protective that it brought out a soft side of you, one you didn't really know you had before that.

So, meeting Spider-man and Peter was becoming increasingly difficult for you. It got to the point where you would avoid Spider-man on patrol so you could spare yourself some emotional damage. It didn't take him long to figure you out though.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on finally?" Spider-man asked you one night after probably the worst patrol the two of you ever had. You were so distracted the whole time that the two of you took quite the beating. His costume was torn and so was yours, wounds and bruises everywhere.

"I really don't know." you said, pressing your back against a brick wall in the alleyway the two of you hid. You slid down the wall, sitting on the ground and hugging your knees.

Spider-man sat down next to you, pressing his head to the wall and looking up at the metal fire-escape that the two of you were sitting under.

"Something from your personal life?"

"Well, I'm not so sure."

"How can you not be sure?"

"You know I have this undying love for you, right."

He laughed, turning his head to look at you.

"I know."

"Well, I might have it for someone else too."

"Someone else?"

"Yeah, he's... well he's not as great as you are, not even close, but he has this nerdy charm about him."

You turned to him, cupping his cheek with your hands while you looked at the mask. You leaned in, placing a soft kiss where his lips were supposed to be.

"You're still my greatest, biggest love, Spider."

He looked at you for a while, his hand hesitantly pulling his mask up enough to uncover his lips before he pulled you in for a real kiss. It was a sweet, warm kiss, your lips moving together while your hands were holding onto each other. It was a kiss that the two of you had anticipated to share for so long, dreaming and imagining how it would go. And it went even better.

[ruhorih4ra]

Hi (⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠) back with part 3. Part 1!

Get out of my way 🌈

Solomon was nowhere to be found, and you had already searched every place you thought he could be in. You headed to Diavolo's office, maybe you couldn't rely on the brothers (or didn’t want to), but you knew better than to play the hero.

“Terrible idea.” Lucifer impersonator appeared again, he was on your left following your steps. “I thought you might show up.” you replied.

“He isn't in his office, I saw him all lovely-dovey with Sc.” Another copycat appeared on your right side, this time it was a copy of Leviathan. “That's ridiculous and a lie.” You scoffed, amused. “It is a lie, but they do a good match.” Your thoughts wandered far from RAD and stopped at the last party at the castle.

Sc's dress looked incredible in her, red really suits her. She was matching with Diavolo, much to the brothers’ uneasiness. They really fit together, both elegant, intelligent and good looking. The first dance was hers and the last too.

“Ugh!” you hid your face with your hands. “You did remember, didn’t you?” Yes, you cringed a little (maybe more) at the memory.

You were talking with Diavolo and Sc, finally someone who could understand your jokes. Suddenly, a demon that you recognized was part of the RAD Newspaper club appeared “Please, my Lord! Grant us a photo of you with the exchange student! You look radiant together!”

In all honesty, you had acted out of habit. It wasn't completely your fault, he could have specified: The new exchange student! When you took your place next to Diavolo and gave him your best smile... Who could have blamed you?

“Oh no.” you closed your eyes and shook your head, trying to stop the embarrassing memories. “keep going.” The Little D. of pride insisted. “Don't you have mercy?!”

The demon coughed and with a condescending smile added. “I mean the NEW exchange student” You gestured a short "ooh" as you felt your cheeks burn, stepping aside. Diavolo took Sc's hips and gave his best smile to the camera. He didn’t give you sideways glance and you’d to discreetly walk out of the scene.

“Do you want some, Mc?” Little D. No.2 offered you some demonus, you just shook your head with a sour expression, after all, that thing couldn't drown your sorrows.

“Okay, okay, that was a little bit embarrassing, but I won't let you eat my soul because of that!” You were a few steps from Diavolo's office. The Little D. of envy looked genuinely surprised. “Why not?”

“Do I really need to answer that? It's stupid, just a little misunderstanding.” “He prefers her over you, she's way more interesting.” you kept walking, turned a deaf ear to his words.

“That's why she keeps getting invitations to the castle. When was the last time that Diavolo invited you?” You finally stopped in front of Diavolo's door. “I can't remember, maybe three months?”

You hadn't put that much thought in it but it was true, Diavolo used to request your presence almost every week and now he won’t even text you. You swallowed hard, they really had gotten under your skin. “Can't you see? It's just a matter of time before they replace you.” You saw the copy of Lucifer, he was smiling. The anger returned like wild waves. “They wouldn't.”

The door was flung open with a swift and violent movement that you had barely dodged, landing a couple of steps away, hidden behind the door. Diavolo came out of his office, animatedly talking with Barbatos. “I'll see Sc later in the castle, I'm truly amazed by her wit!” he laughed with that particular strident laugh of his.

“Young master, Mc sent me a text. They wanted to talk with you.” “I'm sure it can wait?” Barbatos looked at him with disapproval. “Lord Diavolo, you must attend to your obligations before anything else.”

You froze on the spot. “I am an obligation. Something that bothers him rather than pleases him.” The implication of Barbatos's words hurt you deeply. You hadn't noticed how Diavolo became aware of your presence. The surprise and shame immediately visible on his face. “Mc? Were you looking for me?” His tone was soft and his eyes were apologetic.

“Great, now I'm being pitied.” You didn't need his pity or his help. Whether or not you had a place to come back, it didn’t matter. Being alone is much better than being with someone who sees you as an obligation.

You nodded, your eyes were on the floor. Diavolo frowned, you looked troubled but more than that, you seemed sad. “Is something wrong?” You finally looked at him and an old memory came to your mind.

“You looked gorgeous, Mc. I'm sorry for bothering you, you must be tired of coming here.” You and Diavolo were enjoying a peaceful afternoon, he was as interesting as only the immortal Prince of hell could be. He would answer every single one of your questions, no matter how dumb they were.

You would do the same. Sometimes his questions were hilarious and you ended up laughing so hard it hurt. Compared to him, your life seemed simple and short, but he listened anyway. He always looked so pleased and amazed.

“So I almost ended up in jail…” Diavolo listened to you intently, his eyes were shimmering with delight. “Oh, I remember that one! You had to pretend to be blind, right?” “Yeah! Oh, I’m sorry! It must be boring to hear me repeat myself all over again.”

Diavolo cleared his throat, a small blush gracing his face. “Of course not, Mc. It happens to everyone.” He said, looking at you with piercing eyes. “Having said that, I would love to hear you talk for hours, about anything.” You blushed fiercely and averted his eyes, while your hand reached out for his, conveying more than words ever could.

“Liar.” He’s a demon after all, that or maybe you just ran out of things to tell.

“No. I just wanted to say hello.” There was a bitter taste in your mouth, as the plea for help died on your tongue. “Let's go to my office, we can talk there.” he gestured for you to enter, but you simply shook your head.

“Classes are starting, I should go now.” “Mc, you know you can tell me everything, right? Whatever is troubling you...” “Don't worry, Lord Diavolo. I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to.”

Finally, your attitude made sense in Diavolo's mind. You had listened to his conversation. A big smile spread across his face. “Now, now, Mc, you know you're always welcome at the castle! There is no need to get mad!” He gently took your hands. “Your presence is always appreciated. Will you be there?” You had seen him wear this expression before, particularly when dealing with annoying demons of high status.

You nearly choked with you own saliva. Now he was treating you like some spoiled noble or perhaps like a bothersome kid, using the same fake mannerisms he uses with those petty nobles he always complains about.

You couldn't take it. You weren't like that, right? “Thank you, Lord Diavolo. I'll decline your invitation this time.” You turned around but he didn't budge. “Mc, please, it's my responsibility to look after everyone in the Devildom.” That word again, reminding you that you were now an obligation.

Perhaps that was what led you to utter such bold words. “I thought I wanted to see you, my lord. I was wrong, I don't want to. This invitation is born out of obligation, and that too is something I don't want.”

Both Barbatos and Diavolo were surprised by your words, it took them some time to recover, but before that, you added something else. “I won't bother you anymore, my lord. No need for you to look after me. After all, this is not my world, and you’re not my prince.”

The sound of your shoes echoed in the halls as Diavolo cleared his throat and let out a held breath. “Don't worry, young master. Mc just need time to relax.” But Diavolo couldn't shake the sense of hurt when he recalled your eyes and how cold they were.

Your eyes, so strikingly sincere, did not go unnoticed as they seem to silently accuse him, “Liar”.

Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for any mistakes! ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Part. 4 ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ

[wheeniemyloove]

good riddance (gracies abrams x fem!reader)

summary!: you and gracie broke up. gracie knows that she was the one who screw everything up and write songs about u. what would happen if she call you? and what would happen if u pick up the phone?

warnings!: swearing, fluff and kinda angst

notes!: i love gracie sm, she's truly one of my comfort persons, and good riddance been helping me sm with my problems, sooo why not?

After you and Gracie broke up, she didn't know how to apologize for screwing things open. So she wrote an album. Good Riddance. For the first time in months, she reached out on the day her album released. She was surprised when you picked up. "... I didn't think you'd pick up. Did- did you like the album? Or did you didn't listen to it?"

After she asked if you liked the album, you started to panic a little. After all, there was so much emotion and honesty in there and you didn't want to be insensitive. You cleared your throat and said, "Yeah, I liked your album and I especially liked the, uhm, the songs about me."

Gracie sounded incredibly happy. Like you just made her year. She cleared her throat herself, trying to hide how much she was smiling. "Uhm, y-you... You d-don't hate me?"  A look of delight and disbelief crossed your face as you shook my head in amazement. You then opened your mouth to speak, but stopped yourself and looked away as a slight blush formed on ur cheeks. "Of course I don't hate you, Gracie,"  you replied.

"R-Really? Like... You're not mad I screwed things up? You- you're not mad I made a song about you?" Gracie felt stupid. She couldn't believe you could forgive her. For a moment, you were her world. The sun. The moon. The stars.

"uh, well, i'm not mad at you. i could never be mad at you. but i was hurt.i-i mean, im still kind of hurt, but-," you say interrupting yourself "But the song is beautiful. And if it really was about me and not just a song you wrote about someone else, then it's even better. I'm impressed you can write something like that. You're really talented, Gracie."

Gracie was stunned. You found the song beautiful? She couldn't believe you were so chill. Like, you were way more chill than when you were with her. And... a tiny bit of her felt jealous. But that's dumb. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. "Y-Yeah, well, I don't think you'll like the other songs. You're literally the subject of most of them. Especially the first track. The one called 'Best' " Gracie chuckled uncomfortably.

"I don't mind being written about. If I can inspire a song, that's something to be proud of, right?...Wait, what's the title of the first track?" you ask curious. "Well, that's good, because one of the tracks in here is literally called 'i know it won't work' and it's about you. And... and another is just, ugh. 'the blue' " She cringed at the titles, but then giggled. "And, uhm, yeah. The first track is called 'Best' It's about, like, me making our relationship a bad memory and fucking everything up. Because, uhm..." She cleared her throat. "I was bad."

"Don't think negative about it, Gracie. We were young, we did everything by gut feeling. And sometimes these feelings were wrong" you say laughing a little. "...I guess that's kind of true..." Gracie didn't want to make excuses. But you were right. She was a teenager. She just made a teenage mistake. "H-Hey, uhm, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

"You remember how you said you didn't hate me?" Gracie's voice wavered with hope."Could we... uhm... y'know... go back to friends or- or something?"At this point, Gracie was desperate. The thought of making her relationship with you worse again almost made her cry. And she couldn't be alone. not again. 

"You know, Gracie," you reply, trying to sound reassuring. "I never stopped caring about you. Of course I want to work on our friendship again. Things have just been... a little bit tense lately." "Yes, t-tense... but..." Gracie's eyes darkened. She couldn't keep the words in. She had to tell you this now and here. "I-I... I missed you. Like a lot..."

Tears were streaming down her face, despite her best efforts to wipe them away. Her lips tightened. She did regret losing you. Gracie regretted losing your trust. She regretted becoming the type of ex-girlfriend you wanted to cut out of your life.

"Gracie," you say, struggling to find the right words. "I... I missed you too. I've missed you every day since our breakup." You swallow the knot in your throat, your heart beating faster. "And I regret... I regret a lot of things too. I wish things had been different." Gracie tried to hold back tears. But they continued gushing over her cheeks. Gracie was trying to remain rational. To keep this from being more awkward than it already was. But she'd already embarrassed herself so much at this point, so she figured what harm was the truth.

"I-I wish y-you could still hold me." Gracie buried her face in her shirt. Your shirt. Why was this so difficult? Why did she have to say these things? You probably thought she was crazy by now. You can't stop a few stray tears from falling as she says that. You'd give anything to hold her again, to kiss her forehead, to tell her how much you love her. "Oh Gracie... how I wish I could do that." Your voice breaks; the words sticking in your throat.

Gracie's arms wrapped around her chest, as if protecting herself from her own painful feelings. She couldn't believe she actually told you that. Gracie buried her face into the shirt once more."Y-your voice," she whispered. Her words barely reached your ears. "it's so soft..." She sniffed, her voice shaky. She felt so, so small. Gracie felt more like the girl you knew, rather than the woman who'd broken up with you."Gracie..." you said softly. When the words escaped your lips, you almost couldn't recognize your own voice. "i still love you." 

The words caught you off-guard. You had never intended to say them, never wanted to share what you felt in your heart. But you felt compelled to say it, like a hidden truth finally coming to light. Gracie's eyes flew open. All her previous shame, gone. Her words were rushed, almost desperate, as she blurted out:"I... I love you, too." The girl who had never wanted to see you again; the girl who had broken both of your hearts, finally just wanted to say how she felt. Her feelings had never left your grasp. She wanted to kiss you right now... in that moment. Even after everything. Gracie just wanted you. Just wanted to feel you.

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 13

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 6,336

Author's Note: I kind of had writer's block but for some reason I was able to write 4,000 words today. I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 13

Jess’ POV

I felt something gently tug at my hair then slowly I heard Elvis’ soulful voice, singing “Now or Never” softly. I wanted to keep my eyes shut forever but I had no idea where I was and what was going on. My eyes slowly fluttered open, I blinked quickly trying to adjust to the light. I was in a hospital room. I closed my eyes again, squeezing them tightly. 

“Are you gonna wake up, sweet girl?” Elvis said. 

“I’ve been awake for a while.” I croaked, my voice sounding very scratchy. I needed to clear my throat and drink water. 

I looked up at him, tilting my head back because he was standing behind me. He looked at me with wide blue eyes, filled with shock and relief. 

He then proceeded to let me know what happened which jogged my memory and I remembered exactly what happened. He then exploded and started yelling at me. I gulped, playing with the cup in my hands.

“I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t be yelling at you. It wasn’t your fault.” He said, his voice wavering. He quickly turned and faced the door but I could already see the tears in his eyes. I wanted to climb out of bed and pull him into my arms to hug him tightly. 

“Elvis.” I sighed.

“I-I need to call the nurse or the doctor, or something.” He mumbled and walked out of the room.

Elvis came back with the doctors and nurses but kept quiet and stood in the corner. He didn't speak to me at all but kept staring at me with wide eyes like he couldn’t believe I was sitting on the bed and talking back to the doctors, answering their questions to make sure my memory was in tact. 

Everyone visited the next day, my family, the mafia and their wives, Janice and Matt. 

“Hey.” I smiled softly when I was Matt. 

“Hi.” He breathed “How are you?”

“Good, just feeling a bit dizzy and I have a bit of a headache.” I replied. 

He sat down at the chair that was next to my bed. No one was at my room at that point and Elvis seemed to have just disappeared the moment my family came in, I didn’t really see him or talk to him after he exploded. I really wanted to, I wanted him to be here. Actually scratch that, I wanted to be home. I hate hospitals. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” He smiled, grabbing my hand.

I squeezed his hand “Thank you.”

“I bet Elvis is feeling so guilty.” Matt chuckled.

“W-why would he feel guilty?” I asked him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Well because it was his fault this happened.” Matt shrugged.

I frowned and pulled my hand out of his grip “No. It wasn’t his fault.” 

I don’t know why I felt so offended and angry that he was blaming Elvis for this stupid accident fully knowing it was my fault. 

“Baby-” Matt started. For some reason I cringed when he called me that, I hated it. It didn’t feel right.

“No, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine, I wasn’t listening to his instructions and accidents happen.” 

“Okay, I didn’t mean anything by it.” He replied “He’s just too cocky for his own good, thinking he could teach you how to ride a horse having no prior experience to teaching horse riding.”

I felt anger bubble up the surface “He’s not cocky. It was sweet. He does things with intention, knowing how much I wanted to learn how to ride a horse. I’m sorry Matt, I’m really not feeling well.” I said, clenching my jaw. I hated him talking about Elvis and I hated that he was placing a big amount of blame on Elvis’ shoulders. 

“Jess-“ Matt started again looking at me with a confused look on his face.

“I think she said she’s not feeling well.” Elvis said, standing by the door with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face as he glared Matt down.

Matt sighed and ran a hand through his hair “Okay.” He stood up then leaned down to kiss me, I turned my head to the side letting him kiss my cheek instead. We kissed once, how does he think it’s okay for him to kiss me now? We didn’t make anything official. I didn’t want Elvis to see that. 

“Are you okay?” Elvis asked, leaning on the frame of the door after Matt left.

“Yeah.” I sighed “Are you?” I asked him because he was acting strange.

“You’re the one in a hospital bed, not me doll.” He chuckled, his smile not reaching his eyes. He seemed upset about something. 

“Why are you all the way for there? I won’t bite.” I chuckled. Elvis rolled his eyes and walked closer to the bed. 

“I just think you’ll drop back into a coma once you close your eyes.” Elvis whispered, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. He then cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth, he frowned, biting his lower lip “You really scared the crap outta me Jess.” He whispered. 

I gulped, his eyes were very intensely staring into my eyes “I know. I’m sorry.” I replied, reaching up  and cupping his hand that was on my cheek to squeeze it reassuringly. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” He whispered then slowly leaned down to kiss my lips. My eyes fluttered closed, I stretched my neck up to be able to reach his lips. 

Someone cleared their throat causing Elvis to jerk back when our lips were a few inches from one another. My eyes snapped open and I saw the doctor standing by the door.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” He smiled, walking in. 

Elvis and I both shook our heads “no”, both flushing in embarrassment. My heart was beating out of my chest, I wanted to kiss his lips so bad. I cursed the doctor in my head for having the worst timing. 

The doctor gave me some medication for the headaches and dizziness that I was feeling and told me they might release me tomorrow, hopefully. 

“Have you slept at all?” I asked Elvis, looking at him more clearly now. I could see the tired bags under his eyes and his bloodshot blue eyes. His side burns slightly outgrown from his usual length. He looked worse than I did and I was the one who just woke up from a coma not 24 hours ago.

“Don’t you worry about me doll. Worry about your self, you still have a bad concussion.” He frowned. 

“Elvis, please tell me you went home and slept.” I frowned, I didn’t want him to run himself haggard “Elvis.” I repeated when he didn't answer.

“Jess, just drop it please.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

“Elvis, please go home and get some sleep. I’m fine, nothing is going to happen in the few hours when you’re asleep.” 

“I can go home once you’re home.” He replied. 

“Wait, you didn't go home at all?” I asked him. Was he by my side the entire time I was in the hospital? He just never went home?

“Go to sleep Jess.” He grumbled. 

“Go home, Elvis. Please. I’m surrounded by doctors and nurses, I’m in the best place for any emergency.” His eyes widened when I said emergency “Which there won’t be because I’m okay and nothing is going to happen.” I quickly said to ease him. 

“You promise?” He whispered, biting down on his lower lip. At that moment he looked like a small, scared little boy and he needed reassurance. It broke my heart to see him looking scared and worried that something might happen to me. 

I reached my hand out to him, he stepped forward and grabbed my hand “I promise nothing is going to happen.” I squeezed his hand “Go home.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes “Fine. Go to sleep.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on my forehead. 

After he left it was easy to fall asleep since I was still feeling hazy and tired. Also, visiting hours were over so I didn’t have to be up and pretend I was okay, it was hard having a conversation with a really bad headache and all I wanted to do was shut my eyes. 

“Is she asleep?” Elvis whispered. I frowned and slowly opened my eyes glancing at the clock at my bedside, its been an hour since I fell asleep.

“Yes, Mr. Presley.” The nurse replied. 

I turned to the other side to see Elvis standing by the window of my room, by the nurses’ station. 

“You didn't leave?” I asked loudly. Elvis turned to look at me through the window with wide eyes when he suddenly dropped to the ground and out of sight. 

“I saw you!” I chuckled.

“No you didn’t! I’m not here!” He called out “You’re supposed to be asleep!” He jumped up and walked into my room. 

“And you were supposed to be at home.” I pointed out. 

“How about we pretend like I left and went home and you slept.” He gave me his famous boyish grin. 

“The thing is I actually went to sleep and slept for an hour. What were you doing in that hour?” I asked him. 

“I was sitting outside your room.” He said smiling sheepishly. 

“You need sleep.” I frowned. 

“Don’t worry about me Jess.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll stop worrying once you sleep.” 

I sighed and scooted from the middle of the bed to the right “There isn't much space but you could sleep on my bed next to me.”

“Jess, no.” He shook his head “The bed is tiny and you actually need to sleep so that we can get the hell outta this hospital.” 

“Hey I’m giving you a compromise here or I could call security and have you escorted out.” 

“Are you threatening me?” He gasped mockingly “Jeez doll if you wanted to cuddle so bad you could’ve just asked.” He rolled his eyes with a grin on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and lifted the covers for him. He removed his shoes and got under the covers. I had to place my shoulder over his since the bed was very small. 

“Lie on my chest.” He whispered when I turned and gave him my back. I rolled back and slid slightly down, placing my head on his chest. He sighed and wrapped his arm around me. 

“What the fuck are we doing?” I whispered, throwing an arm over his waist. 

What were we doing? Cuddling like a couple when we’re the furthest thing from being a couple. Nevertheless, it felt so right to be in his arms. As if his arms were meant to hold me, my head perfectly rested on his chest, his heart pounding loudly under my cheek. His scent fully engulfing my senses, slowly it was becoming my favorite smell. Could we just lay here forever and pretend we’re a regular old couple cuddling in bed instead of the terrible reality that we are never going to be that couple or a couple in general. My heart raced at the thought of being with Elvis. Forbidden love crush. 

“Now you’re questioning this. Shhh, go to sleep.” Elvis said and placed his hand over my eyes, making me close them “Why are your feet so cold?” He frowned when my foot touched his. 

I looked up at him and shoved my feet under his legs to get my feet warm making him chuckle “I don't know. That's your job now.” 

“What’s my job?” He asked looking down at me and running his hands through my hair.

“To keep me warm.”

“Fine, I’ll take that job.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

“Good night.” I reached up and kissed his jaw.

He frowned “Good night.” 

I laid my head back on his chest and closed my eyes, feeling his heart pound faster. 

For some reason I couldn't sleep until I heard Elvis’ breathing change. I opened my eyes and looked up at him to see his mouth slightly open. Really I knew why I couldn’t sleep I had to make sure he fell asleep, I was then able to quickly fall asleep right after. I hated seeing him so tired especially knowing that this was his break, he was overworked as is, this was his time to wind down and relax not stay up for three days in a row. 

I sighed, cuddling closer to my pillow feeling well rested. I felt someone play with the end of my hair, my eyes fluttered open. 

“Hey sweet girl.” Elvis muttered, smiling down at me. 

Oh, my pillow wasn't a pillow. It was Elvis. For a split second I forgot we were sleeping together in a hospital bed. 

I looked up at him and smiled back “Hey.” 

“How’d you sleep?” He asked. 

“Great.” I sighed and closed my eyes again, cuddling back again against his chest. He chuckled, his chest rumbling under my cheek. 

“I’m happy.”

“What about you?” I asked him, opening my eyes to look at him.

“Amazing.” He sighed, his eyes shinning brightly. I openly stared at him, taking in his bright blue eyes and handsome face. He looked well rested, the bags under his eyes no longer evident, the lines of worry that he supported no longer there “I always sleep the best when you’re around.” 

I sucked in an audible breath, my heart clutching in my chest.

“I’m glad, Elvis.” I gulped not knowing how to respond.

We stared at each other. 

“You’re doing it again.” He whispered.

“What?” I whispered, not breaking eye contact. 

“You’re looking at me with those green eyes.” He sighed “Those green eyes-“ He trailed, cupping my cheek. 

“Well what do we have here?” 

We both turned our heads towards the door, Grace standing leaning against the door frame with a smirk on her face and a bouquet of tulips in her hand. 

Elvis and I both groaned, knowing we will not hear the end of it. I turned and buried my face into the crook of Elvis’ neck. 

“Am I interrupting something, looooovers?” Grace teased, walking into the room. 

“Nope.” Elvis replied. 

I pushed myself off of Elvis, allowing him to shuffle out of bed. 

“I knew something was up with you two!” 

“Nothing is up, Grace.” I replied as Elvis plopped down on the chair next to my bed to put on his shoes. 

“Jess, I know you better than anyone else!” Grace narrowed her eyes, pointing at me.

“I know Jess better than you.” Elvis narrowed his eyes at Grace, challenging her.

“Nu huh.” Grace placed her hands on her hips, keeping her eyes on Elvis. 

“Oh really, then what are Jess’ favorite flowers?” Elvis crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair.

“Tulips, duuuh.” Grace grinned, placing the bouquet on one of the tables. 

Elvis made a buzzer sound using his mouth “Wrong! They’re sunflowers!” 

Grace gasped and they both turned to look at me, waiting for conformation. 

“They’re…. sunflowers.” I answered, grinning at Elvis. 

“Yes!” Elvis jumped, throwing his fist up in the air in victory.

“Tulips are a close second.” I smiled sheepishly at Grace who pouted. 

“I’m gonna brush my teeth.” Elvis said and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“You two would make cute babies.” Grace grinned. 

“Grace!” I laughed “Stop!” 

“What! You two are like the hottest people on the planet!” 

“She’s right, you know.” Elvis sang, swimming the door open “We owe it to the world to make good looking babies.” He winked at me. 

I could feel the heart running up my neck to my cheeks “You two are so annoying.” I sat at the edge of the bed and swung my legs, placing my feet on the ground. I gripped the edge of the bed and slowly stood up, my knees wobbling slightly. It was easier to stand on them today, yesterday was hard because I hadn’t moved my feet for days. 

“Wow!” Elvis said and jogged over to me, taking my hand in his “Let me help you.”

“It’s okay, I got this.” I said and pulled my hand from his grip. I wanted to try standing on my own. I was able to get to the bathroom but it took me twice as long as the average person and Elvis and Grace hovering over me incase I needed support. 

The doctor later gave me the all clear to go home with some medication. 

“Wow no one showed up to see me leave the hospital?” I pouted as Elvis and Red walked me to the car. 

“I guess you’re not that important to them.” Red joked, chuckling. 

“Hey!” I smacked his arm.

“I’m really glad you’re okay Jess. The guys were a mess when they found out.” Red replied. 

“I think just about all of them cried.” Elvis chuckled. 

“I can’t imagine any of you guys crying. Aww Red!” I grinned and threw my arm over his shoulders, pulling him in for a side hug. Red laughed and squeezed my waist. 

“We’ll be extra careful next time.” I ducked into the car, Elvis and Red getting in the front with Red in the driver’s side. 

“Ha ha ha.” Elvis laughed sarcastically “Very funny. There won’t be a next time.”

“Nooo, it was just a hiccup.” I frowned, Red started driving off the hospital’s lot. 

“Yeah a hiccup that almost cost you your life, Jess.” Elvis clenched his jaw, getting agitated.

“You’re exaggerating.” I argued. 

“Don’t start, Jess.” 

“We’re just gonna give up just because I fell, a lot of people fall.” 

Elvis chuckled darkly, no humor behind his voice “You weren’t there. I mean you were but you were unconscious and you weren't waking up. Do you know how scary that was, seeing you lying there lifeless the only sign that you were actually alive was your pulse. You’re never going near a horse again, end of story.” 

I remained quiet instead turning to look out of the window. I had to think of this from Elvis’ perspective which I failed to do. For me it was easy, I fell off but it happens and thank god I’m okay with close to no repercussions. However, I realized it was probably traumatizing for Elvis to see me like that and having to wait by my bedside for three days having no idea when or if I was going to wake up. Even then there was the potential of the fall affecting my legs, my memory etc. 

The sun was setting and almost completely gone when we got to Graceland. Elvis opened the car door for me and helped me out by holding my hand. 

“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile. He still looked mad at me but still managed to return my smile with a timid one. 

“Uh there’s something in the backyard I want you to see.” Elvis lead me towards the back of the house instead up the steps that lead to the house itself. 

“Oh.” I gave him a confused look but followed his and Red’s lead with Elvis’ hand on the small of my back. His fingers emitting heat up my back. I’ll never get used to his touch, they always left me feeling too warm. 

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled once we rounded the corner. 

I gasped, a grin spreading on my face as I took in my loved ones, my entire family, the mafia members and their wives. They all stood in cowboy and cowgirl outfits, a huge dance floor installed in the middle, big banners that say “Welcome back Jess!” and big balloons. 

“I don’t know if this was a good idea given that you're still not well but I thought you’d like a night of line dancing.” Elvis said, keeping his hand on my back as he looked down at me.

I grinned and looked up at him, shaking my head “No, no. This-this is amazing, Elvis. I-I don’t know how to thank you, seriously.” I smiled at him. He smiled back softly, we stared into each other’s eyes, his blue eyes shinning with something I couldn't decipher until I was pulled into my dad’s arms. I laughed and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. Everyone slowly crowded us, pulling me into a hug and patting my back. 

Thank god my mother decided to pack me a dress for when I got home or I would’ve really been underdressed not that anyone would’ve cared. 

“Come on let’s line dance!” Joe shouted.

“Wow!” Elvis pulled on my arm “I don’t think you can.” 

I pouted “Yeah, I can barely walk. It’s okay I’ll sit this one out, you guys go ahead!” 

Everyone groaned in response but still lined up to dance. Elvis stayed standing next to me.

“Go, join them.” I nudged him, bumping my hip to his.

“Nah.” He shook his head “Not really feeling it.” 

They started dancing, I felt slightly sad that I couldn’t join in. I could feel Elvis’ eyes on me. 

He groaned “God you’re making me feel really guilty doll.” 

“Why?” I chuckled.

“Because, it was my idea. I completely forgot you could barely walk.” He said smacking his forehead. 

“It’s fine.” I laughed. 

“Wait! Stop the music!” Elvis yelled. Red ran forward and stopped the music, everyone stopping mid dance “We’re joining in!” 

Everyone cheered.

“What- Elvis I can’t.” I shook my head, my legs still felt wobbly.

“I got an idea, follow my lead.” He said, taking my hand in his as he pulled me towards the middle of the dance floor “Okay, put your arm around my shoulders. I’ll hold you up, it’s gonna be hard to keep up but it could work.” Elvis shrugged. I grinned, standing beside him. I threw my arm around his shoulders, his arm wrapping around my waist, taking most of my weight off of my feet. The music started back up again. We tried doing the steps, we ended up being too slow, laughing at each other as we kept messing up. I loved Elvis’ hiccup laugh it made my heart soar. I missed his laugh, I felt like I haven't heard his genuine laugh in such a long time. I giggled when Elvis tripped on his feet almost throwing the both of us to the ground.

“Woah!” He laughed loudly. I giggled, gripping his shoulder tightly. 

“Okay maybe this wasn’t the best idea!” Elvis shouted of the music.

“No it wasn’t!” I laughed “But its way more fun!” 

Elvis laughed and planted a kiss to the side of my head. 

I side hugged Elvis, my arm still swung around his shoulders when the song ended. Everyone was clapping and cheering once the song was over.

“You two would make an adorable couple.” My mom said to Elvis.

“Mom.” I widened my eyes at her, dropping my arm from Elvis’ shoulders. 

“Couldn’t agree more, convince your daughter for me please?” Elvis gave my mom a devastating grin, knowing what that grin does to women.

I gaped, turning to look at Elvis. What the hell did that mean?

“I’m kidding!” Elvis laughed seeing the look I gave him.

“Stop playing games, Elvis.” Mom giggled, her cheeks turning red at the smile Elvis gave her. She slapped his shoulder while batting her eyelashes at Elvis. It was my turn to now gape at her, what the hell was she doing? Was she flirting with Elvis?

“Dad! Come take your wife please!” I called out, Elvis bursting out in laughter. 

“Oh god.” I squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment as dad pulled mom away for a dance.

“Was your mom flirting with me?” Elvis grinned.

“I am so sorry Elvis.” 

Elvis shook his head with a smile on his face “It’s okay, I’ve been told I’m great with the older ladies.”

“Ha ha ha.” I laughed sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him. 

He dropped his smile, his eyes darkening. He dipped his head “Are you jealous Jess?” He whispered. The mood shifted from playful to intense. I gulped, the look in his eyes made my mouth go dry and heat to unfurl inside me, traveling down my body. 

“I- no.”

His smirk slowly stretched across his devastatingly handsome face “Are you flustered?”

I frowned, trying not to show him that I was actually getting flustered. He slowly leaned in whispering in my ear “If you want me to satisfy you, all you have to do is ask honey.”

I bit my lips harshly, keeping my moan from coming out as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. His musk does something to me, his closeness is driving me crazy. 

“Cat’s got your tongue?” He whispered, pulling back to look at me but remaining super close our noses almost touching. 

I breathed heavily, my chest heaving. I wanted him. He licked his lower lip, his tongue slowly darting out and running on his lower lip. 

“Jess!” Grace called.

Elvis growled, his jaw clenching as he pulled back. 

“Yeah?” My response came out airy and out of breath as if I had just ran a mile. 

“I got your cowboy hat!” She said, moving through the people still on the dance floor. 

I smiled as she placed my hat on my head. 

“Cute!” Grace grinned.

“You look so cute in a cowboy hat!” I told her.

“Not really my speed but anything for you.” She replied. I turned to Elvis to see him gulp, all humor and intensity gone from his eyes instead replaced by alarm. His eyes wide with fear. 

“Are you okay?” I frowned, stepping forward to him. 

“Uh ye-yes. I-I’m fine. I have to go. Look after her Grace?” He spoke very quickly, taking off before Grace had the chance to respond.

“What’s up with him?” Grace asked, both of us look at Elvis walking away.

“I have no idea. He was fine a second ago.” I frowned, confusion etched on my face. 

I headed over to the drinks table with Grace, grabbing a bottle of water and some chips. We talked for a bit but I kept looking for Elvis, he hadn’t come back yet and its been 10 minutes. 

“Let’s go look for him.” Grace said, pulling me out of my daze.

“I-I’m sorry Grace.”

“It’s okay, let’s go look for him. He looked scared for some reason.” 

Grace saw the look he had on his face too? So I wasn't just dreaming that?

Grace and I walked around, we went into the house. She checked upstairs while I checked the living room and kitchen.

“I don’t think he’s in the house.” Grace said walking down the stairs. 

“You think he would leave the party?” 

“No but where would he be? To clear his head or something.” Grace asked.

“He likes siting by the piano but he’s not here. Maybe by the pool, the only place he wouldn't be interrupted besides his room.” I said. We walked out and towards the pool, passing by the party. I could see from afar that the lights by the pool were off but still I felt like he could be there. As we walked closer I could see his figure sitting by the pool, his feet dipped into the water. 

“I’ll leave you to it.” Grace squeezed my arm and walked off once she spotted Elvis. 

“Hey.” I said softly once I was within hearing range.

He cleared his throat, quickly wiping at his face. Was he crying?

“Hey.” He whispered.

I reached down and untied my shoes, shoving my socks in my shoes and throwing them to the side. I took a seat next to him, dipping my feet into the cool pool water.

“Where’d you go?” 

“Just-“ he sighed “Needed a break.”

“Why, what happened?” I asked, pushing him to tell what was going on inside his head.

“I really don't wanna talk right now Jess.” He replied, staring straight ahead.

“If you need someone to talk you, you could always talk to me.” I said, looking at him while he stared ahead. 

“I can’t-“ He sighed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. I remained quiet, giving him time. He then slowly turned and looked at me, he grimaced staring at my hat “Will you please take off that damn hat?”

“I thought you liked me in a cowboy hat.” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. 

“I-I do.” He sighed “But that hat. I hate it.” He whispered, his eyes darting from the hat to my eyes “Sorry, it’s just.” He gulped “When I saw you wearing it, it brought me back to that day.”

My heart stopped for a second. I completely forgot I was wearing this exact cowboy hat the day I fell off the horse. 

“I don’t know why I reacted that way. It’s stupid, go back to the party Jess.” He turned away from me, looking down at his feet in the water. 

“No, hey.” I placed my hand on his thigh and squeezed it gently “It’s not stupid. Sometimes our bodies just react, I get it. I’ll get rid of the hat if you want.” I smiled “But its the only cowboy hat I have.”

He chuckled, shaking his head “I’ll get you a thousand others. In every color if you want.” 

I chuckled “Deal.” I said, taking my hat off and throwing it next to me. 

“Let’s go back to the party?” I asked him. 

“Yeah. You go ahead, I’ll sit here a bit.” He replied.

“Okay. I’ll wait for you by the drinks table.” I leaned forward, planting a kiss on his cheek. 

“Are you not tired?” He asked once I got my feet out of the water and stood up “You’ve had a long day.”

“I am but I feel bad ditching the party.” 

He frowned “No, you should go get some sleep. No one is gonna care, they know you’re tired and still not feeling a hundred percent.” 

“It’s fine. I can sleep later.” I shook my head. 

Elvis got up “Let me take you to your room. Come on.” He said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the house. Our shoes and my cowboy hat remained on the floor next to the pool. 

I yawned as he walked hand in hand to the house. He walked me down the stairs to my room “Are you hungry?” He asked, stopping in front of my door.

“No, I’m just really sleepy.” I replied.

“Okay. You know what, maybe you should sleep upstairs in my room. That way I can check up on you if you need anything.” He said and started to pull me away from my room. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry.” I shook my head.

“Are you sure?” He frowned.

“Yes.” I smiled squeezing his hand.

“Okay.” He sighed “Good night.” He leaned forward, planting a kiss on the corner of my mouth. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of his lips so close to mine. 

“Good night.” I replied and walked into my room, shutting the door behind me. I leaned against the door and sighed. That was way too much stimulation for one day. 

I was happy to be home. I was in a coma for three days and awake for two which equates to five days away from the comfort of my bed and bathroom. However, I was extremely grateful that it was only five days and not more. I went to bed after showering and getting dressed in a silk tank top and shorts pajama set. 

I woke up feeling thirsty, opening my eyes I felt something stuck to my back. Looking down at my waist and saw an arm wrapped around my waist. My eyes widened, slowly lifting my head off the pillow and turning my head back to see Elvis asleep next to me, cuddled into me with his arm around my waist and his face buried into the back of my neck, my hair pushed to the side, sprawled over the pillow. 

When did he come into my room? Why is he in my bed? Was he worried about me? 

I didn't want to move incase I woke him up so I decided to ignore my thirst closing my eyes instead. Enjoying having his arms wrapped around me. I looked at the arm clock before shutting my eyes it was five in the morning. Both of us could use a little more sleep. 

I went back to sleep, waking up a few hours later to an empty bed. Did I dream Elvis asleep next to me? No, the pillow next to mine was used, I don't really move around when I’m asleep. Plus, I could smell his scent on the pillow. Maybe its for the best he left before I woke up. I was feeling way more refreshed today, the dizziness from the past two days gone and it was easier to walk on my own. My legs only wobbled when I used the stairs. 

The entire day I was ignored by Elvis or I would get one worded responses and it was starting to get on my nerves. He’s been so up and down, his emotions all over the place. One minute he’s cracking jokes, the next he’s angry. Now he’s ignoring me.

“Why are you ignoring me?” I asked walking into the TV room. He was on his own watching TV. 

“I-I’m not.” He replied, keeping his eyes on the TV. 

“Elvis.” I clenched my jaw “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He got up, shutting the TV and went to walk out of the room but I sidestepped him, placing my body in front of the doorway so that he couldn't leave. 

“Is this about last night? Because you slept in my bed?” 

His cheeks flushed, crimson red “You know about that?” He mumbled.

“Yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night and you were asleep next to me.” I replied.

“I-I’m sorry, doll.” He said scratching the back of his neck “I just couldn't sleep and I was worried that you’d wake up and need something.” 

My heart swelled, I was right. He was worried about me. 

“Is that why you’re ignoring me?” 

“I’m not ignoring you. Now can you please move?” 

“No, you’re ignoring me.” I said, placing my hands on my waist.

“Okay, maybe I am!” He yelled.

“Okay, I wanna know why.”

“Because! It’s my fault!” He yelled “It’s my fault you're in this situation! It’s my fault you fell of the horse! I was careless and I should’ve never taken you out to the stables! And you should stay away from me!” He growled. 

“Is that what this is all about? Elvis. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault, honey.” I said looking at him with wide eyes “It was an accident, please don’t blame yourself. It’s not going to help with anything.” 

“You don't understand Jess.” His voice cracked, his eyes filling with unshed tears “You did not see what I saw. The way your head pounded on the sand, I wish you screamed, I wish you did something because the moment you hit the ground you were gone. It scared me to death, I felt like I was gonna get a heart attack at that moment. You-you were on the ground and you-you weren't waking up baby.” He said, tears streaming down his face as he openly cried for the first time in front of me.  I've never seen him cry before, my heart broke seeing those tears in his beautiful ocean blue eyes. The tears making them seem even bluer that they originally are.

I gulped and cupped his cheeks, wiping his tears as they came down “Elvis, please. Don’t do that. What you did that day meant the world to me honey. It was my dream to be riding a horse and you gave me that. If anything it was my fault, I didn’t listen to your instructions and pushed you to do something you knew I wasn't ready for.” 

He reached up and rubbed my forearms, tears still streaming down his face. 

“I shouldn’t have listened to you, I should’ve know better but you do something to me Jess. I can never say no to you.” He whispered.

All logic was thrown out of the window. My eyes darted to his lips, I quickly leaned forward and smashed my lips on his. He moaned, kissing me back. His hands cupping my cheeks as he deepened the kiss. He bit down on my lips asking for entrance. I moaned, opening my mouth. Our tongues fighting for dominance. 

“Fuck baby.” He said over my lips, pulling away slightly to breathe then smashed his lips back on mine passionately. 

“Elvis.” I moaned when he thrusted his pelvis to mine, feeling his hard on against my leg “I need you.”

He groaned “Jess. Jess. You don’t know how much I want you. I need you honey” 

“Then take me.” I panted, pulling away from him. He grinned down at me. I was out of breath then I felt the whole world spin. I gasped, grabbing on Elvis’ arm.

“Woah, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, worry etched on his face. His eyes darting between mine. I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping Elvis tightly.

“I-I don’t know. I feel dizzy.” 

“Come on, sit down.” Elvis said and pulled me to the couch “Let me get you some water, lie down.” 

I lied down placing my feet up on the couch as Elvis quickly jogged up the stairs to the kitchen to get me some water. I don't know what happened, I was feeling better earlier but my dizziness came back and at the worst time. 

Taglist: @urrfavvana @girlblogger2002 @butlersluvbot @iheqrtaustin @dramaticpandabear @godlypresley @amiets2 @felis-haxb16 @marie73ep @scarlettlight06

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[fexalted]

wip title game: father and forgiver, words never spoken

and you know what, just to induce some randomness, one of the untitled gf ones of your choice <3

wip title ask meme

father and forgiver: answered here!

words never spoken: oh man, so. this is the brain trauma au, aka the au where ford getting repeatedly zapped by lightning during weirdmageddon has degenerative effects, that unfortunately don't become evident until he and stan are already out on the boat. and at the same time, stan starts having more frequent memory lapses

i wrote So Much of this, and it's all v melodramatic and sad, but not all that medically accurate fhfkshfk so looking back on it i kinda cringe bc of that. and esp after learning more about how to depict disabilities in fiction i'm like "man i wish i had done this better." i'd love to go back and give it the rewrite it deserves but it would def be a big task

most of this is straight up angst but here's a lil funny moment i still enjoy:

It's funny, you never really thought of yourself as old—perhaps because you never really expected to live this long—but now you keep seeing signs of your age in nearly everything you do. Your hands are less steady, your steps are less sure, and you find you get worn out a lot faster than you used to. Even your mind doesn't feel quite as sharp anymore. You could almost laugh. You finally stop running, and it all catches up to you in the blink of an eye.

"It's not fair," you gripe to Stanley as you do the dishes one evening. "At this rate I'll be drinking prune juice and going to bed at 8:30 by the end of the month."

"Happens to the best of us, Poindexter," Stanley chuckles a little too gleefully, clapping a hand on your back and making you nearly drop a clean plate back into the sink. "I'm just glad to see you acting your age for once."

"Mm, yes, I'm sure you are," you say wryly, yawning despite the early hour of the evening and the cup of coffee you had with dinner.

"You better rest while you can," Stanley jokes, grinning. "I'm not gonna be picking up your slack once we set sail!"

"Oh? And why shouldn't you?" you tease back, mirroring his grin. "You are the younger twin, after all. Seems only fair you should give your poor older brother a break by doing more of the work." You dry your hands and hang the damp towel around Stanley's neck. "In fact, why don't you start right now by washing the rest of these for me?"

---

gf 5: post-finale fic where ford, worried about the effects of the memory gun, talks stan into getting an MRI. during the scan, stan gets a flashback to being trapped in a car trunk and starts panicking. stangst central babeyyy

btw did you know the magnet is always on. this singular fact cemented my headcanon that ford's metal plate is not magnetic bc otherwise i would have to throw this whole fic in the trash sgfkshfkdjf

anyway here's a tiny paragraph of the aftermath (bc i never wrote anything past it):

You stop just outside the front doors—taking long, slow breaths of crisp September air, feeling the sharp edges of your keys dig into the palm of your clenched fist—and you tell yourself you're only doing so to calm down and clear your head again, and it's not at all because it's taking you a moment to remember where you parked your car.

[that-one-random-writer]

Caution to the Wayward Son Chapter 2

Rooster x f! Not pilot Reader- Enemies to lovers

Summary: One bad first date. That's all it takes for an impression to be rotten. A reputation costs more than just the price of dinner. Six months deployed on an aircraft carrier across the hall from the date the very next afternoon. That is priceless in the navy.

Warnings: Cursing, Drinking, 18+ eventually Words: 1,741 no use of Y/N,

Chapter 1 | Other stories from me

Bradley walked to the rec room when everyone was dismissed from formation. He would be on shift in the morning, so for now, he would find a place to relax.

The aircraft carriers were like small cities. They have a cafeteria called a galley, they have an area for relaxation called rec room, they set up basketball or volleyball courts in the hanger bay when no one is flying, there is a gym, a grocery store, they even have events like bingo night, talent shows, and many more to boost moral.

Keeping 17,000 people in high spirits while away at sea for months at a time is important to function in the carrier. How in the hell Bradley ended up across the hall from the girl that stood him up, then yelled at him before turning around and leaving when she finally did show up because he had a few drinks due to her being a no show? only God knows.

Bradley sat down. He noticed a group of people in the far left a few feet away. He heard a loud female voice. The voice took over the spotlight in the small group.

He opened a small book and began to read. He heard the voice talking about how she 'can't wait' to get back home to her curling iron, louis purse, and getting her hair out of a bun for more than twelve hours. Then it stopped. The voice started back up, and as he peaked up, it fizzled out again. He looked back down and continued to read. He heard the voice again and snapped his view up to meet your lips, attaching to the voice.

First absolute embarrassment from being stood up on a date, and now irritation. How could someone who was that gorgeous be such a bummer?

He was lost in thought while staring at his book. He could see how you could be shallow. You just looked like a girl who was not supposed to be in the navy.

You had that look about you. The one where you would be told on a regular basis that you could never be in the navy. You wouldn't last a day, and yet somehow you were here deployed and made it through basic training and all training since then.

You absolutely had a shallow look about you. You had that gorgeous hair that other girls would kill for... Bradley noticed he was looking at you and then shoved his eyes back to his book.

He continued trying to read until the voice was too much from him to handle.

He got up to leave, but unbeknownst to him, so did you. You beat him going through another exit and down the hall.

Bradley noticed you were in front of him, mazing slowly through the corridors. His pace slowed as he met up behind you.

He took steps slowly, silently growing irritated, and each step seemed slower than the last.

You had to have known he was behind you. There was a shadow casting showing someone behind you. You had to be doing this on purpose just to spite him. How cruel to embarrass him more.... his thoughts raced. "Could you walk any slower...?" He added your name to the end of his sentence.

You looked back, breaking you out of your thought to see Rooster. "Oh, you remember my name this time." You turned back, ignoring him, and even walked slower. He found you quite obnoxious and rude.

"Will you please move so I can pass?" He tried a different approach.

"And the pig has manners." You cringed at the memory of him saying, 'You want me to take it off.' , fresh on your mind from last night. Those were some tempting words coming out of his mouth, that voice was tantalizing, just thinking of being under his body was lot to handle, but random drunk man sex just didnt quite do it for you.

You stepped aside for him to pass. You looked at him while he passed. Your cheeks turned a hue of pink. Remembering you has just been on a date with this man. Embarrassment running cold through the pair, and now irritation from both sides.

He quickened his pace before turning around. "How about we just make a deal to stay the hell away from each other?"

You just simply stood there ignoring him. You didn't like dealing with conflict, so avoiding him was already on your priorities.

He shows up behind you. You didn't know he was there. Then he just makes a snide comment at you. There was no sense in wasting your breath.

He turned around and walked into his room. He picked his book back up and hopped on his bunk to read. He heard the sound of jet planes landing on top of the dorms, vibrating the entire room, and yet somehow, that was still easier to deal with than the uncomfortable, annoying situation he shared with you.

Rooster woke up at a decent time to get ready for work. He got his morning shower and dressed up, ready for the day. He walked out the door.

Luckily, your door wasn't open. He reported to the station he was supposed to be at. Then, he sat at his seat at the table.

The class piled in, and there were not only pilots. There were WSOs and NFOs. He turned around just in time that you were rolling in the class. You came in with not a second to spare.

The seats were assigned by order of last name and job title he ended the B's for pilots, and you started the B's for NFOs.

You walked up to the seat and sat your bag under the chair. 'You've got to be fucking kidding me' the pair thought in unison as you stood next to Bradley's seat and in front of yours.

Attention was called and everyone else stood up. "At ease..." Everyone sat down and waited for instruction.

The admiral spoke to the group. "All of you will be studying the new plane. It will be within the next year that it is released from testing and ready to be flown for training. To save on space we will be teaching it in one full class. There is some time before we make it to the mission point, and you all will be learning, training for the mission, or sleeping. The mission is our priority alpha. This new plane is our priority beta. You are all expected to know the manuals front to back with more time to spare before reaching the mission point. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone internally groaned, not daring to make a fuss about it in front of the admiral. "Yes, sir"

He continued. "Your instructor will be Lieutenant Commander Sebastian Garrison. Call sign, Atlas. He has been working with the B-21 Raider for many years. It goes without saying he deserves your highest respect.

Lt. Commander Garrison walked up to the podium and made his speech about the plane. Everyone was issued a manual and given clear instructions on the first order of business.

They have to study the General Arrangement, a diagram with fifty different site word with numbers coinciding. The numbers point to where they are on the plane.

"I expect that I don't have to babysit you. Don't prove me wrong. I'll be back in an hour for the first twenty to be memorized for an oral quiz. Do not move ahead once you're complete."

You opened the book, turning the page. To the diagram. You looked through your bag and pulled out your highlighters. You started marking them and studying.

Bradley brought out his notebook and wrote down each word ten times, followed by the location. He cringed with the highlighter squeaks. Each squeak seems longer. They finally came to an end.

Bradley noticed her highlighters were spread across the table. He pushed one off the table that was in his area.

You didn't flinch. You just continued studying. You knew he had done it, but you were going to take the high road and do exactly what he asked before. Stay away from him at all cost, and ignore him. You flipped the page after completing the first task, just briefly looking at the next task so you can prep for tonight's study.

"You're not supposed to do that." Rooster whispers.

You rolled your eyes. "I'm not studying it. I'm trying to prep for studying tonight."

"You're breaking the rules." He whispered back.

"Rules are meant to be broken." You glanced over at him. "Deals are not, and you're breaking yours right now."

Rooster leaned back in his chair. "Well that's kind of null and void now. We can't exactly stay away from each other."

You had a condescending tone within the whisper. "You could try staying out of my business, and not having open commentary about what you think I'm doing wrong. That might suffice as ending my nightmare."

Rooster sat back up in his seat, gripping his hands on the table whispering with anger flowing out. "This is a nightmare for you? This is a nightmare for me. I'm the one that has to deal with you. A shallow woman that has no consideration for other people's time, nor anything else that has to do with others for that matter, especially when walking down hallways, and a woman that is incredible rude with disrespectful commentary herself."

You scoffed. "That's what you think of me?"

He nodded. "Uh, yeah. That's what I just said isn't it?"

Your mouth hung open at his inexcusable response. "Fine. Yes mine is a nightmare because I have to deal with a horrid man that is insufferably rude, and has to point out anything he thinks is wrong, and has an amazing body and is so vain about it, he feels it's appropriate to take off his shirt during a first date to try and impress women."

Bradley flustered. The complement was so back-handed all he could do was sizzle about it. You were huffing and trying to be quiet best you could.

"Well now I get it..." Rooster trailed.

"Get what...?" You spoke slowly through gritted teeth.

"you're an unbearable bitch." Rooster spoke calmy going back to writing.

"And you're an unbelievable asshole." You got up from your seat before going to the bathroom to cool off.

Chapter 3

A/N feel free to comment anything you'd like 🥰

Please don't repost my work to any website. Don't steal my work, you'll be a c u next Tuesday.

[qetalos]

JUST FOR ME ! | 제이

p: non idol!jay x non idol!reader. Reader is Jay's ex and hasn't moved on since their break up! g: angst? warnings! mentions of obsession and break up, reader is obsessed with Jay after their break up, cursing mentions of death, slightly cringe, read at your own risk 😭

note: heyy I'm backk! tbh this is really out of my comfort zone as I never wrote with the genre (?) Yandere if u wanna call it that. Also this is inspired by Just for me by pinkpantheress. Anyways, enjoy ;) really short post!!

'cause I read somewhere you'll fall in love with me

maybe this wasn't good but I couldn't move on from my ex, Jay.

We had broken up three months ago and I couldn't stop thinking about it. He broke up with me, because "he fell out of love". I know he still loves me, right?

I keep a diary, full of his name. I feel like in highschool when I liked a guy, I couldn't stop thinking about any guy I would put my eyes on. Like I was right now with Jay, he didn't go out from my mind. I just know that he hasn't moved on from me either because we're made for each other, as he once said at one of our dates. I still remember that day and many more, how could I forget? I bet he didn't forget either, we made so many memories together...

I found the street of the house in which you stay

After our break up, Jay had to move out from my apartment as we lived together for a quite a long time. I heard that he moved to a street not so far from mine, he definitely wanted to bump into me someday...

So I decided to go with my car and look for it, I saw pictures from his Instagram and tried to find the house. Soon after I found it and decided to write down the address, just in case.

The house where Jay lived now was really modern and nice, from outside. It didn't look way too big but not too small either, just how we wanted our house to be. My thoughts are that he decided to move there because we had talked about a house like that and he wanted to have a piece of memory from me, how sweet.

Should I send him something? Like a secret admirer! Maybe some food? Or maybe decorations for his house? He would definitely love whatever I would decide to send him!

I followed you today, I was in my car. I wanted to come and see you from afar

After finding where he lived now that we broke up, I always passed by with my car. I stayed for around 15 minutes and then drove away.

One day, I saw Jay posting a story with a countdown for what seemed like a trip? He was going on a little trip to a city nearby! I knew it because he once told me that his parents lived there and that he wanted to go there anytime soon...

I packed my stuff and when the day arrived I woke up early and drove my car to his place, I saw his car parked there too and saw that he hadn't gone yet so I decided to wait.

When Jay finally started to drive, I decided to follow him trying to not be suspicious about it. I followed him and almost lost him in some parts but still arrived to where he was staying, I saw him entering to an hotel and decided to stay at one too! I stayed at the hotel that was opposite to his, how lucky! I think that Jay chose that hotel because he knew I was going to be there so he wanted me close...

I'm obsessed with you in a way I can't believe. When you wipe your tears, do you wipe them just for me?

Jay spent a week at that city when he finally drove off to his house. When I saw that he was going back I decided to go back to my place, just to give him a bit of space... So I could go back again.

I would visit him every day until I saw a girl coming out from his house, Jay hugged her before she walked away. What was he doing? Who was her?

I followed the unknown girl closely until she stopped at a traffic light, perfect, I thought to myself. I'd play a character on her to take her and...

"Sorry.."

"huh?"

"Oh I'm so sorry, I can't find the bus stop. Can you help me?"

"Yeah sure"

I wanted to make sure that Jay didn't get to see her anymore... He couldn't get to see any other girls other than me... Even after the end of our relationship..

That night, the girl didn't go back to her house. I ended with her that same night, no one will know what happened to her... She deserved it, for seeing Jay at his house...

"What did you do?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh you know damn well what I'm talking about... It's Hye-soo!"

"What about her?"

"You killed her. You're sick, I'm disgusted with you. Did you think I never knew about you stalking me?! I fucking saw your car every day! Even when I visited my parents! Are you serious?!"

"Oh well, congrats for guessing the truth. I never doubt your intelligence"

"You're disgusting, I don't wanna see you ever again"

"I love you too, Jay"

beep...

beep...

beep...

the phone call ended, he hung up.

☆゜・。。

thank you for reading!

do not copy, repost on other socials or translate. all rights reserved to @/stqrlite.

-🏷️

[writerjodie]

i think one of the best things i realised recently is that story i wrote when i was 16 is not cringe, its just a story written by a 16 year old. i remember labouring for hours and hours over it, every spare hour i had between lessons at school i would borrow one of their laptops and i'd write. and after i wrote it i rewrote it. the final document of it is over 60,000 words, and i was proud of it. i didn't read it for a few years, i got busy with uni, quitting uni, getting a job, i got busy with growing up.

the other week i opened that document back up again. seeing the characters appear on the pages for the first time again was like being greeted by old friends, but they're old friends that never grew up with me, they're old friends imagined by a 16 year old mind. next month i'll be 21, in the grand scheme of things 21 isnt that far from 16 but at the same time it is. and i no longer relate to those characters beyond a fleeting memory of who i was when i was 16.

at 16, that story was perfect to me. at 20, less so. the plot makes no sense, the characters aren't consistent, the descriptions so long and full of words that its easy to lose track of what i'm on about... but i'm still proud of it. i'm always going to be proud of those 60,000 words and however many notes scattered across paper and other documents. i'm proud of them because they're mine. they belong to the first writing project i ever finished.

and i think sometimes we all strive for perfection so much that we forget that we are all at different stages in our writing lives, i'm sure that when i am 30 i will look back upon what i write now and think it was a bit silly, but i will also look back proudly upon it, knowing that i was still learning, still developing, still finding my own style. and i'll keep reminding myself of that my writing does not need to be perfect - ever - because i'm always learning.

[arcsparkasriel]

Vtubertale Profiles: Ralsei Dreemurr

For those who heard the story from my first post, you probably already know the gist of it. However, I'm sure those among you want to know the story of my adorable little brother Ralsei again! Or at least with a bit more detail.

After "The Plan" failed quite catastrophically, when Chara and I...expired. Mom and Dad were pretty darn distraught. I still have issues from what happened, but I'm glad I have everyone to help me through it. Mom doesn't like to talk about that day, but I think I know what happened. All Mom could do was cry for the next three days until her mind and body couldn't cry anymore. I wish I didn't know how badly our selfish plan would affect them. Dad took it really badly too but in a different way. Yeah, shocking I know. Going nuts after watching your children die. He did not cry, he hardly spoke, and seemed to shut down completely, having retreated inwards. Then you know the rest. Dad let his mouth move before his brain could and declared war on humanity in a fit of rage.

Mom being disgusted with him and everything that had happened, had enough. Leaving her role as queen and essentially divorcing Dad, moving back to our old home in the Ruins, never to be seen for years.

However, Ma and Dad...ahem, most definitely...had a moment of romance any day at least a month back before this all happened. I did the math a long time ago. Understandable I suppose. Mortifying thinking about the details as their eldest son, but understandable. On the day of "the plan," I was only a week away from receiving my first weapon as a Monster, and my own royal circlet, officially being called a Prince. Ma and Dad were about to have their 1st honeymoon in centuries. So spirits were high at the time...until they weren't.

Another month after she left, did Mom realize she was with my first biological sibling. I've only gotten a few details from Mom about her time of pregnancy and I only remember a few scattered memories while being stuck inside that FLOWER. The Flower though didn't appear until she was further along. Maybe five months down the line? I do remember hearing her talking to herself...or Ralsei rather every day while she was carrying him.

"You'll always be safe with me. I'll teach you everything you'll ever need to know."

"We'll have so much fun together."

"We may not be the fullest family anymore, but I'll be all the family you'll ever need."

Stuff like that. The Flower didn't think much of it and probably scoffed at the comments at the time. Thinking back on it, however, I could tell Mom was barely hanging on to sanity. Frisk and I just convinced her to go into therapy just a few weeks ago. Both of us are convinced Mom was only an edge away from snapping and doing something insane. Yeah, I know all about the "Underfell" and "Horrortale" versions of Mom that did break and lost their sanity. One of my other selves told me as much. Those possibilities scare us every day. How Frisk and Ralsei managed to keep her from snapping I still don't know. We love her so much though. Mom is worth it.

When the day came...maybe enough of my soul seeped through the Flower to remain near Mom. Cause I vividly remember hearing every labored scream throughout the whole process. I was right outside the window. She was in the kitchen, just out of sight. Days prior, the Flower saw her gathering durable rope, a ceiling hook, a large bag of pain-dulling mushrooms, dozens of pillows, rubbing alcohol, and a large plastic tarpaulin. Typical, always thinking hygienically that mother of mine.

Jeez, she actually had to go through it the ancient way with no pain relievers or access to the royal hospital. Well, she was once a shield maiden before the war. So maybe Mom was just defaulting. Yeah, maybe I'll share that story with you all in a future journal. The labor itself probably took a full day, which still makes me mentally cringe and sympathetic. I don't know how I managed to keep the Flower still during all that time, the details are really fuzzy. I don't put too much thought into "the power of love" but perhaps there is something to that.

The next thing the Flower heard was the baby's first cry. And Mom doing her best to stifle her own joyful sobbing. She must have been exhausted but pushed through all of it. I got the best Mom ever. I could hear her voice shushing the baby and trying to soothe him. Surprisingly it worked. A small gasp I remember from her, but then a moment of silence and a soft cooing like a dove's call.

"Born in the dark, I suppose this was going to happen. I love you anyways, my little baby boy. It's nice to meet you, little one. I'm your mama. My little Darkner. We'll need to make sure you're covered. The light might be too much for you. For how long I cannot say."

I don't think the Flower quite understood what she meant until Mom somehow stood up to stumble into her room six hours later. The tiny wrapped bundle cradled in her arm. She was wearing a simple lilac gown in place of her royal robes. She was visibly drained of stamina and exhausted in every possible way. Bags under her eyes, a slow gait, and heavy breathing.

The Flower saw what the child looked like. 'Unnaturally pale with some pinkish hues coming through the fur. His tiny nails as well as his horns once they grew in would be that same pinkish shade.

"Albino" I remember the flower saying. And then laughing that horrible laugh that never leaves my thoughts. "Albinos never last long in the wild, let's see how long he lasts in captivity. Even if the barrier breaks, he'll fry like an egg in the sunlight."

After that, the Flower regained control and that's the last thing I remember.

Over the next few years, the Flower popped around to spy on them. Ralsei grew quite fast and took to his immortality quickly. By that time, the loop had already started to take effect and I had reset quite a few times by this point. For Ralsei's fifth birthday, Mom got him green robes and a pointy hat, for his eighth birthday, she made him a long hot pink scarf and gave him an ancient crucible steel human cauldron that fell from the surface. Just last week, we took it to be appraised by a professor at the nearby university. Ancient Celtic apparently. Very well preserved. Probably thanks to Mom's efforts. Ralsei still uses it to practice his unique "Cauldron Cooking". Not that much different from using a crock pot. Ralsei's Sea Salt Ice Cream Cakes are quite good.

When the human children began falling down into the Underground, Mom tried to help and adopt each and every one of them as her own. Ralsei was so excited each and every time to make a new friend, never having anyone else other than his own mother to play or talk with. It was quite a lonely existence in the Ruins.

Which only made their deaths all the harder on both of them. And every time it happened, a piece of their hearts broke. Ralsei just became more and more fragile. Mom only got angrier and angrier at Dad. Ralsei retreated further into the safety of his mind. The Flower from time to time would pop out and torment him. I still feel guilty about that.

I often saw Ralsei hanging around the flowers at Chara's grave by the entrance to the Ruins. Maybe some part of him knew something was there, even though Mom would never dare speak of Chara or me. The memories were still too painful.

When Frisk arrived, everything changed. There's something special about him. You know, other than the master of time manipulation, ability to fight infinitely stronger opponents, and superhuman willpower to keep his soul together. Once Frisk connected with us monsters, we couldn't help but love him.

After Chara betrayed us, I not only thought I was incapable of giving love but receiving it too. Sure, there was a time when she was my best friend too. She was my sister. Mom, Dad, and I wanted to save her all that time. To give her a family and a place to call home. Unfortunately, vengeance blackened her heart long ago. Mine nearly was. I walked the abyss of the Underground every day for centuries of time loops. Somehow I avoided falling in permanently. Chara just...didn't want to be saved. She fell into that pit years ago, and nobody, not even I could have pulled her out of it.

You definitely know the tale of how Frisk escaped Mom and began his journey right? Well, it happened just a little differently. Ralsei didn't want to stay trapped in the Ruins either. He had grown too attached to Frisk and didn't want to see him go. So he slipped some melatonin into Mom's pie. I'll have to ask him what kinds of things Mom was teaching him. Frisk confronted her at the exit like normal, except Ralsei disobeyed and followed them. After Mom allowed Frisk to go, Ralsei told me Mom was losing consciousness quickly, so he dashed out of the Ruins after Frisk.

Ralsei caught up with Frisk quickly and started following him on his journey. I think everyone in the Underground had an inkling about what Ralsei was, even with his robes on and his hat covering his head, including the smiley trash bag. But for whatever reason they chose not to say anything.

Most of the journey went just as how Mr. Toby Fox displayed it in the game he made about our story. With the addition of maybe a few extra conversations Ralsei and Frisk had with the other monsters and each other. I wasn't around them the whole time, and I'm still learning details as time went on.

At the end, Mom was livid with Ralsei, but forgave him immediately when she reunited with Frisk. And then there's Dad...

Meeting Ralsei for the first time was... wonderful, but hard for Dad. Not knowing that he had another blood son. Never being there for his birth, his birthdays. Never being there to make his first toy, or play ball with him, or anything really. It was even stranger for Ralsei. Since he had never known or been told about Dad from Mom. He wasn't angry at Mom for never telling her. Ralsei isn't one much for cliched responses. All he wanted was to learn more about his father.

The details after that go into how I came back, which I'll cover in good time. All you need to know is officially meeting my new little brothers for the first time as myself was probably the best moment of my life.

These days. only a year after we left the Underground, life is finally getting better. Not always fantastic, but so much better. Every day, one step at a time. Ralsei, Frisk, Susie, and I are still close as ever. We all live together in a seven-room multimillion-dollar apartment, paid in full by the government of England. Susie having just joined our family only a month ago. On the surface, Mom thought Ralsei should have new more modern clothing. So he traded out his robes for a modern-style Poncho to cover his Torso.

When he goes out into direct sunlight, we always try to get him to wear his pointy hat or a sunhat that Muffet made for him. We had to swap out his old glasses for some professionally made ones. Of course, boss monster-sized glasses for big monster eyes weren't readily available, so we had to get his custom-made from a company in America.

His cooking is starting to rival Mom's and my own. His Cauldron Cooking is quite top-notch.

Our apartment is very much like his own little kingdom. Since he can't always go outside, he takes care of most of the chores and cooking when Mom can't. We have our own sizable library that he's been spending a lot of time in. For work, I've been having to learn a few different languages being so close to other countries. Spanish, French, Polish, German, Italian, and Danish. And the ancient languages that I'm glad to have persisted. Celtic, Welsh, Latin. So I bring a lot of language learning books home that he snags almost every time.

When he does go out, he's often visiting Dad and my other work friend Noelle and her sister December.

Ralsei, Frisk, and Susie aren't quite ready for public human schools, so until we can find something suitable for them, Alphys often stops by to be their tutor.

It's getting late, but I will expand on more details of Ralsei's life here later. Maybe you can catch Ralsei and Susie hanging out silently in my streams! Howdy to you all and I hope to see you again next time!

[kaiasky]

🌂 you meet your doppelganger. it has all your memories and personality, but knows that it's the copy, and it will disappear in 28 days unless it kills you.

🌂 it is not more evil or less intelligent than you or anything like that. it has your personality and body down to a T

🌂 somehow you both know all of the above. maybe instinctually, maybe the way the doppelganger came into existence (like touching a magic mirror with known properties) means that you know

🌂 what do you do? is your doppelganger trustworthy?

🌂 does your answer change if your doppelganger has a few handy supernatural abilites that you do not? for example: resilience to damage, an amorphous body or agelessness?

cw for discussion of murder, suicide, etc. obviously in a fictional setting.

This is going to sound bad, but I don't really have a strong desire to keep living. like, I'm not going to kill myself now or ever; I plan on living my life to the fullest and to a ripe old age, and all that. but like if a magic mirror came down and said you'll die in 28 days... in some sense, them's the breaks. bummer. idk.

so like. I think I'm more averse to killing than being removed from existing, and so I think for us the answer would be pretty obviously that original kaia goes to work and lives life, and tries to be there for mirror kaia. And mirror kaia enjoys 28 days of party time doing whatever i want so long as it won't cause problems for original kaia. (eg, no leaving a criminal record).

if mirror kaia wants to kill real kaia at the end of those 28 days she's welcome to ig but I don't think they would. i would like to be there for her at the end though. picnic in a nice peaceful place.

if one of us has superpowers (in such a way that they could be a benefit to society and not a danger, i think) then yeah i think normal kaia is beefing it in a polite and caring way and there's mutual agreement on that. same 28 day thing, but superpowers kaia has to find a way to hide a clone body I guess. and we have to be really niceys about killing me.

unfortunately this is peak k5-25 situation. (n.b. k5-25 is the name i adopted on the evening of may 25 20..22? when i decided i was quitting tumblr and queued a bunch of posts for the rest of eternity so i (kaia who was posting on 5-25 and sad about quitting tumblr) would live forever, unlike 'the rest of you shmucks who die when you go to sleep'. as sort of a sacrificial effigy that would keep kaia (real) off of tumblr. as u can see it didn't work but it worked for some months until k5-25 started posting cringe and i had to kill her (delete her posts). the point is tumblr account @kaiasky would belong to whichever of us is ceasing in 28 days and they get to k5-25post about it. i think i'd pull a page from the harrowhark book and show up on my last day with a stack of a thousand letters with opening conditions on them i think that'd be a nice way to be remembered by myself.

[speckle-the-crow]

Tonnyjul drabble/oneshot I wrote late at night and hardly proofread that I'm not gonna post on ao3 (it has 0 plot and was just writing practice for me)

Wordcount: 1.2k words

Again, this fic has 0 plot. I wrote this to practice on writing more descriptive scenes. In the future, I might add in this or certain lines into other fics because there's some stuff I really liked in this!

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The sound of the knife tip snapping off and clattering to the dirt ground was enough to make Julia cringe. As if that wasn’t enough, the collective gasp of the audience finalized it. She already knew this memory would keep her up many nights (if the others weren’t enough already). 

“Why are you still upset? It’s alright, nobody remembers it now.” Tonny hummed after the two got backstage. He was taking off the green costume he wore during the performance. It was a slight workout taking off the clothing, as it stuck tightly to the skin with the help of the circus heat. He replaced it with a just as equally ugly outfit for his clown act. 

“Because it’s embarrassing! I screwed up the one performance I have in front of the crowd. Did you not hear the gasp?”

Tonny shrugged, putting on some oversized shoes. “Accidents happen. The good news is nobody got hurt.”

Julia muttered something to herself about her hat being too big to see rightly.

“It’s over now. The sooner you can stop thinking about it, the better.” He told her softly.

Tonny was well familiar that when Julia got upset, she often lashed out, little things easily adding to her mood. How she blew up at him when they first officially met and then again when he found her running around in Aspett. He could tell that another anger strike was coming. 

“I don’t think it’s that bad. The outfit fits you.” Tonny smiled at her. 

“Are you saying I have a big head?” Julia growled. 

“What!? No, I just think the whole… mushroom thing looks nice on you.” He awkwardly waved his hand towards her. Well, shit. 

“Mushroom thing?” Julia stared at him. Looks nice on me??

“You look like a fairy- in a magical way. The makeup, the ear extensions, just everything. If you’re not comfortable wearing the outfit, we can change it. My top priority is that everyone feels comfortable.”

Julia stared at him, picking up on his awkward and nervous stammering.

“I’m not saying it’s bad- but don’t keep the outfit if you don’t like it…”

She rubbed her face with a tired sigh as the ringleader kept rambling on and tuned him out. Gosh, he was really getting on her nerves. All this time Julia was wondering how she’d kill Tonny when in the end, she was sure she was going to strangle him. She did not have it in her to deal with his awkwardness, whatever made him more boyish near her. 

“And what about you? You like that outfit?” She half-snapped at Tonny, who was almost completely changed into the clown costume. The only thing missing was the face paint. 

“What about it?” Tonny looked down at his outfit, observing his large shoes and puffy pants.

“For starters, the god-forsaken shoes.”

Tonny once again re-shifted his gaze towards the large shoes. He was so happy he finally found comically large shoes that fit him rightly and didn’t make a noise when walked. Seeing as how the whole circus was slowly falling apart (from crew members to knives), Tonny felt like the shoes were one of the best things the circus had to show. 

“I like them.” Tonny tapped his foot on the ground softly, grabbing white face paint.

“Not surprised.” She muttered, sitting down on a crate.

A second passed when it clicked what she said. “Rude. They’re meant to be like this.”

“Did you willingly offer to be a clown?”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?”

“No. I’m genuinely curious about how you got stuck with that act.”

“Well, when we became a circus- you remember Dotty’s story from a month or so ago, right? Anyways, we started filling in basic roles. Silk dancers, fortune tellers, clowns, you understand it. And nobody wanted to be a clown and I got forced into it because I’m the leader.”

“Leader and a clown? Which one is easier?” Julia chuckled.

Tonny held back a tired sigh. It’s like she’s becoming more like Sahed every day. I don’t like her spending time with him. 

“They’re both hard in their own ways. But also similar.” Tonny answered, trying to play off Julia’s sharp tongue to be because of a certain ah’kon. Telling himself that’s why he’s slightly hurt overhearing her talk like him. Not because of the time she spent with Sahed slowly made her change the way she spoke and acted.

Wasn’t there an old saying that if someone likes another person, they adapt to become more like them? The ringleader glanced around, looking for the makeup brush. 

“It’s in the drawer. Dotty cleaned everything and moved stuff around.” Julia had taken off her hat and was running her hand over the gills of the fake mushroom. This was now a common ritual and she’d quickly learn the order of his costume transformation.

Tonny opened one of the drawers and saw a brush with bristles slightly stained blue roll around. He grabbed the brush and the face paint, making eye contact with Julia in the old, stained mirror. The exaggerated red blush, the white freckles, the pointed ears. She looked like a fawn who’d just woken up in a field of flowers. It was a sight he wouldn’t mind seeing every day- he sometimes stole a glance at her during performances. Julia stared back at him, a tired but soft look in her eyes. Tonny felt himself become a bit lighter due to the softness in her gaze. Maybe Sahed hadn’t fully influenced her. Maybe there was some part of her that Tonny could find, a part that could be just for the two.

Realization struck Tonny as he realized that he’d been staring. He quickly applied the eye makeup, glad that the white face paint was thick enough to cover the slight burning on his cheeks. He hurriedly finished the blue face paint and the red nose (he refused to wear an actual nose accessory, as it made it hard to breathe with all the running around) and tossed on his wig in a quick motion, fixing it slightly to be more centered. Julia had watched this process multiple times- the way that Tonny was able to change from ringleader to knife-throwing performer to a ginger clown had always impressed her. It seemed each costume had their own personality too.

“The show must go on,” Tonny nodded, walking out of the tent swiftly. Every time he put on the wig he would exit the tent repeating those same five words. Julia thought that it was likely the equivalent of sweeping a bunch of items off a large table and laying out a map to explain a plan- something she’d always see the kids pretend-play in the schoolyard. It likely made the ringleader feel cool.

“The show must go on,” Julia repeated to herself, putting the hat back on. She should really pick up the knife remnants before a kid tried to swipe it as a souvenir.