#this is genuinely not a normal thing to think

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic idea: Danny's Did you know?

Danny is a contact creator.

He started off as a kid who wanted to dump info about space or other interests, making it more "Did you Know" as his theme, but his channel really took off the first time he invited a ghost to speak about the era that came before.

No one knows Sidney Poindexter is a ghost. Ghosts usually do not appear on camera; if they do, they are always a blur or barely visible outline. That doesn't come into play when the camera happens to belong to the Ghost King, who is unaware of the title.

Due to this, the ghosts, as his guest stars, turn out to look like normal human beings. There is no glow, no see-through effect, and the only odd thing about them is how they dress.

Even Poindexter's coloring could be explained with some well-done make-up.

They think he's just someone wearing a costume and pretending to be from the 1950s, using information Danny had researched. Danny's interview with Poindexter became an instant hit among those who applauded the genuine authenticity of what the 1950s actually were like.

Not only that, but Poindexter's reactions to modern terms and objects that Danny presents are hilarious to the viewers, as he never once broke character. There is even an entire section where both grumble about the bullying issue in their shared high school.

A particular scene becomes a trending meme.

"Did you know Dr. Seuss coined the word "Nerd" in 1950? He used it in the book If I Ran the Zoo," Danny tells Poindexter.

The other teenager rolls his eyes. "Of course, I knew. It was published in my first year of High school. I was one of the first to be called nerd, you know? It would have been more impressive if it didn't take the entire football team four days to read."

"Four days!?"

"Dr. Seuss's writing style saved the American reading levels back in my day."

"So we have always been stupid, huh?"

Danny's next guest is Johnny 13, a biker from the early 1980s who spends most of his time flirting with Danny—who doesn't acknowledge the attempts—and proudly tells the viewers he may have been there, but he was too poor to know much about the 1980s.

"What were the trends in that era?" Danny asks Johnny after considering his notes.

The biker shrugs. "I think cellphones? They were too expensive for me or my block. Never saw one in real life before I died."

"Well, one trend was waterbeds. Did you know that waterbeds were invented in the 60s? They were made by a design student but weren't popular until the 80s, making them popular for the sudden rise of sex appeal." Danny says with a cheerful grin.

Johnny 13 tilts his head, considering his words. "Radical. I couldn't afford a mattress, much less a waterbed, but I bet they were fun. If you can get your hands on one, I would happily show you how fun they can be."

Danny rolls his eyes and then considers something. "If you couldn't afford a mattress, how did you get your bike then?"

"I stole it. Car theft was effortless back then after hotwiring took off." Johnny's smirk turns dark. "I stole to keep myself fed. Bad luck followed you everywhere when you started at America's rock bottom. Only crime could get you out, and even then, life was shit."

Danny reaches out and pats his shoulder. "At least you got to live through one of the best eras in our history."

"Nah, I died in 1983. I missed it, but do you know who actually got to live it? Ember. She died in 1990."

Next week, Ember strikes an alarming resemblance to the one-hit-wonder singer Ember McLain, who had nearly made it big a few years ago.

"What were the 80s like?"

"Terrible, everyone hated me in school, and AIDS was killing all my friends."

Danny pauses for a long moment, looking horror-struck, until Ember shrugs, "But Glam rock was made popular, which was kind of cool."

"Glam?"

Ember smirked at the host, holding her guitar. "Want to hear some?"

By the end of her performance, everyone was losing their mind that Danny Fenton somehow knew a big name like Ember Mclain, and her music once again started to trend. So much so she released another song called "Lost," dedicated to all her fallen friends who died in the AIDS epidemic.

It goes on and on, with each new video showcasing different times and people from those backgrounds. Tim Drake never misses an episode as a dedicated follower of Danny's Did You Know?

He also thought it was a gimmick to make the show entertaining and thought nothing of the hilarious conversations—not when the host was such adorable eye candy.

Things are normal until Tim watches Danny interview Greta Hayes, who died in the late 90s. His very dead, very much a ghost teammate who happily tells the story of her life while looking like an ordinary girl for the first time.

It's not even someone dressed up as her. She makes an apparent reference to some slang Bart uses, and a few of the team's inside jokes are sprinkled into the conversation.

Tim feels a headache coming on. After watching the episode, he grinned darkly as he picked up his phone and called Bruce.

"So we may have a problem. Either a necromancer with an insane amount of skill or something similar. We need to go to Amity Park to investigate Danny Fenton."

Bruce sighs. "Tim, I am not helping you stalk your internet crush-"

"It's not stalking. It's detective work!"

[yves-and-scessernee]

#I'm not going to deny the infighting because it is RAMPANT and it has tangible effects on the world around us#but I also think people need to learn to read things and think 'this simply isn't about me' and move on#toooooooo many people take absolutely everything they read as a personal and direct attack#and you can blatantly see it in the responses to popular posts on this website on a literal daily basis#sometimes things simply aren't for you or directed toward you#if someone is talking about statistics of sexual assault committed by men#its okay to read that as a man and think 'this is awful and it is also not directed at me because I don't do that' and let the conversation#simply carry on#all the whataboutism kills meaningful conversation and sometimes when we're speaking broadly on a semi-public platform like tumblr#(because let's be real not every post is made with the intention of spreading and gets thousands of notes)#theres no need to craft every thought to be perfectly nuanced to include every possible interpretation#its okay to be disheartened and discouraged and put off by personal attacks#but a broad statement is almost definitely not about you specifically and should not be treated as such#again I don't want to minimize this guy's experiences bc this is a genuine problem and when you're facing hate it's completely normal to#seek comfort#and these people prey on that need for comfort#but if we could all genuinely take a step back and realize that a complete stranger's opinion should not affect you I think we could all be#happier#please surround yourself with more loving people#if someone is making you feel like this they don't need access to your life @kirinoha

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[royalarchivist]

Fit: It was a lot of fun being at the event on Friday, it was a lot of fun. You know, I'm very grateful for the Arkanis team for having Bad and I.

Fit: Although admittedly, it was kind of an annoying weekend in some ways, because I guess – I heard about this – apparently when Bad and I were doing our improv bit or whatever, a couple people on Twitter thought that it was like a jab at Quackity, which is insane to me because it was like... not related to his situation at all. And like, normally you ignore that kind of stuff, but it literally got so bad that I had to talk to Quackity this weekend, you know, and we– I actually just had to let him know, "Hey, just so you're aware, a couple people on Twitter think that this is a jab at you, but it's not" and he fully understood and whatever, but like... You know, I'm saying like, he's getting ready for his big announcement, like, that's like the last thing he should have to worry about, you know? Typical Twitter moment, they just take something out of context and they just run with it. But you know, it's all good, I'm very excited for his new project.

Fit: You know, Quackity is one of those people– he's one of the– He is one of the kindest, most genuine streamers that like, I've ever been in contact with. Like, after the Florida hurricanes where we had back to back hurricanes, he was one of the first creators to actually reach out to make sure that I was ok. Like, he's just one of the most kind, genuine people. So for people to think that like, we would be feuding is insane! You know what I'm saying? Like, people, they make up these conflicts in their heads, it's crazy.

Fit: So that was annoying, but yeah, it's all good. We all love each other. There's no bad blood or anything like that.

[velvetvexations]

my personal take on "antigonism" is that it's entirely what you make of it. which is to say, i agreed with your post explaining why you felt such a term was necessary, and i do think this mentality of "most of us are normal about each other" and simply assuming we understand each other's experiences by virtue of being trans is reinventing artificial gender solidarity between cis people ("bros before hoes", "girl's girl") but superimposed onto trans people. which can be particularly contentious, given that we're an extremely traumatized bunch with a lot of baggage and massively diverging perspectives on all kinds of things. relating to each other outside of conventional gender relations means we have to put in that much more work to bridge the gaps between us, because we can no longer rely on the common assumptions made about men and women to carry our interactions, if that makes sense.

i do think a whole word for transfem-to-transmasc solidarity does toe a line between being unnecessarily inflammatory and conditionally useful. i'm genuinely glad for the people who felt seen and appreciated by the fact that a transfem made so explicit her stance on intracommunity issues. i'm also sympathetic to the people who feel put-off by such a word. when does allyship become chauvinistic? there is no word for a non-misogynistic man to signal to women that he is explicitly anti-antifeminist, for example. do we need one? i think a vast majority would say no, on account of simply stating he believes in feminist principles to suffice. so i'm wondering what specifically the push was for you to coin a word around tfem4tmasc solidarity, because while i do think trans people as a whole need to take significantly more initiative about rooting out transmisogyny and transandrophobia both, i'm not quite clear on what could signal more clearly a transfem's stance on intracommunity dialogue than just saying "i believe in transandrophobia and condemn all radfems". all feminism, transfeminism included, has had their malicious actors-- the existence of transradfems isn't really anything noteworthy as far as the broader feminist conversations go.

i hope this doesnt come across as confrontational because i think the people who found comfort in the fact that you are willing to go that far for them is truly heartwarming. i just don't want to see us splinter further into microfactions over something like one person coining one maybe-overenthusiastic word on the internet

Sincerely, there is a word for men who are anti-anti-feminist, though, they're feminists. Granted, self-identified "feminist" men have somewhat of a negative stereotype associated to them, but still, feminist men are feminists.

One of the biggest reasons I think a term would be useful is because so many people feel unsafe in the trans community because of trans radical feminism right now that it can help them relax a lot when they see a trans woman identifies as such. Just reminding people with assurances that most trans women are Normal doesn't really help that when they keep running into ones who aren't over and over.

TRFs are aggressive about this stuff. Seriously, every single day, post after post, their primary form of activism is crying about TMEs stealing kinks and liking a children's toy too much. I feel strongly that should be countered. Even if they aren't the majority, they sure as hell act like it and repeat how great it is that every single trans woman except velvetvexations alone agrees with them.

To be absolutely clear, I do not think I'm the only non-weird trans woman! That is just literally what they say about me! They may be the minority now but that frog is boiling.

IRL transmascs are forced out of spaces and talked over when they're let in because mascuwinity is scawy, No doubt transfems have similar problems because some spaces are TERF-y, but that problem is exacerbated when social media is filled with TRF rhetoric because it gets drilled into people's heads they need to be worried about that, and I don't think "touch grass" is a good response to that.

Hell, what if someone touches grass and then they do happen to end up having people be transandrophobic/exorsexist/intersexist/etc. to them? "Oh, well, that didn't count, try again somewhere else, I prommy that's not Normal."

It's all about volume. I feel very, very strongly that volume is necessary here, to combat the feeling that that radical feminism is around every corner and help people feel at ease and know trans women are with them.

[explodingchantry]

Vague veilguard spoilers? About being an elf in minrathous and various other northern locations

It's very difficult to not sound batshit insane when saying "why isn't anyone being fantasy racist to me" but like genuinely why isn't anyone being fantasy racist to my openly elven rook. Especially when I'm parading around Minrathous, basically the racist slave capital of the world? Not a single comment? Really?

Why do I face more fantasy racism as an elf in ferelden than I do in fucking TEVINTER? why do we hear about slaves in codex entries specifically written by those who don't condone slavery but we don't really interact with one?

Also how come there's so many elves in tevinter working normal service jobs? I know a bunch of them will be liberatis I get that, but like. You can't even be an elf in goddamn ferelden or kirkwall without risking being abducted by tevinter slavers. And you're telling me you can be an elf in minrathous itself without being abducted by tevinter slavers? Like one or two sure especially if they're protected by the shadow dragons but like brooooo

Speaking of the difference between the south and the north - does northern thedas just not do alienages ??? Is that something we're scrubbing off too?? I get it for minrathous because. Lol. But like - antiva? Is that something I just forgot? Alienages are acknowledged in like One codex entry but why wouldn't the north have them?

Don't get me wrong I Have liked some of the recontextualisation the game has done - but I think a lot of this has to do with bioware being afraid of repercussion if they include their staple fantasy racism in their game. And I do fucking get it lol you especially don't want a game about being whoever you want to be turn around and be racist to your face depending on the race you choose. But the thing is that you had 3 games and tons of side media that built this up - the world of thedas is a very unequal one, a deeply racist one, and it does take players aback when they've gotten used to it and then play veilguard and they're just able to frolic in the streets of the tevinter capital as an elf with no repercussion and not a single comment from it's inhabitants

It's so crazy going from being called fantasy slurs constantly in DAO to this KDJDKDJDJD

Like at some point it is a little bit immersion breaking just because we're otherwise so used to it and have been told several times that the north/tevinter would be much, much worse, you know?? But I do get that it's hard and that bioware is trying to move away from constantly hate criming their players. I get it's difficult. But it still hurts not just my immersion but in general hurts the worldbuilding and lore

There's a lot to be said about magic, too - but I'd want to reread the lore we had on these countries pre-veilguard and would like to also just, yknow, finish the game before I talk too much about it

[azrielgreen]

I'm so fucking sorry and horrified about the state of things in the world IN GENERAL and now sharply in the US. Saying sorry feels so redundant but it's genuine and real, and reflective of my absolute grief at the backwards swing that this represents. It's horrifying to see clearly how many people care so little for women, people of colour, trans/queers, immigrants and the general wellbeing of the world entire. If I can do anything for anyone, I want to do that, so please do come and chat if you'd like to. I sadly cannot make a safe space where we all could live but believe me if I could I WOULD; I'd buy some fucking land and houses and make a little village somewhere safe.

I believe that what we're seeing is misogyny, racism and homophobia made fully manifest by people who have abandoned empathy, intelligence and decency to become a deeply uninformed electorate whose fear has been catered to and hand-fed by unregulated "news stations" where selective fact is accepted as normal and the media dominates. It's a terrifying sight to see the numbers, even though I have no doubt many of them are rigged. I keep thinking about what I can say to offer comfort, to raise hope and reaffirm, as so many are, that things will get better, but it falls so flat whenever I think about my trans/queer/POC/female/immigrant/anyone with a soul friends and how they must feel this morning waking up.

So I think what I can say, and I will, is that more than ever now, stories matter. Queer stories, ugly stories, love stories, angry stories, stories about failure and loss and violation and darkness... they matter more than ever before and the telling of them has never been more crucial because the first thing a dictatorship seeks to do is control the narrative in all ways. So please don't stop writing, don't stop reading, chase the idea, stay true to yourself and surround yourself with whatever brings a little fucking joy, catharsis and safe exploration of the things you need to explore.

Find your tribe, and tell your story.

[cloudycleric]

mike wheeler is actually so gay. thinking about this on my s1 rewatch today. things between him & el weren't even remotely romantic until lucas brought it up. everything he knows about girls or a romantic relationship with a girl doesn't come naturally to him & he basically has to ask for advice whenever he has relationship issues.

in st4 he didn't even sign the letters "love, mike" which is absolutely crazy how we just brushed over that. it's not like he's el & might not know to sign letters with "love" yet he doesn't do it anyway. legit writing "love, [name]" was the first way i ever learned to sign a letter. & adding onto that EL EVEN KNOWS TO SIGN WITH "LOVE". ???

it baffles me how people like,,,, don't pick up on all this. legitimately. ALL of the other couples in stranger things paired together normally or had the relationship come normally, & when there's issues between the two, they can solve it without outsourcing for help all the time. because they truly understand the other person as well as the type of relationship they are in.

max & lucas? fell in love pretty naturally in a way that flowed & didn't feel forced. they are also portrayed in s3 to have "more" issues than el & mike, yet lucas always wins max back, & knows exactly how to. jonathan & nancy? not forced at all, came together naturally. when they have relationship issues, they understand each other enough & trust each other enough to get through it.

mike & el aren't the same way. they get along just fine, until they relationship turns romantic in some way. think about it--when el dumped mike's ass, sure they didn't talk for awhile, but they seemed to share a genuine connection of friendship. when they are in a relationship, everything seems strained.

i think i talked about maybe a year back about how el & mike were even showcased to be actively bringing out the worst in each other, especially in s3. this can be seen in s4 as well at rink-o-mania especially, when el portrays her whole life in california as a lie. they always seem to work better together when there isn't a romantic connotation on their relationship (all of the beginning of s1, until the bathtub).

all this to say that byler endgame, cause i was sitting last night listening to sad mgmt songs & trying not to think about the election & i just kept thinking about how mike & will were built for each other, like it would be so cruel for him to be friendzoned by the person he's loved for years, & yelled for whenever he was in the upside down. breaks my heart.

since that's such a shitty ending for him, & we know that will DOES have a happy ending, i don't see how in anyway byler doesn't end up together.

[cometconmain]

Not addressing anyone here. Just adding my recent experiences and thoughts on this concept.

Way too many people genuinely act like you don't get to be upset with someone trying to treat your human rights like pineapple on pizza. I fully agree. It's shitty as fuck. Bigots get to say the most vile things and everyone they're targeting has to treat them with fucking kid gloves and it's fucking bullshit. You have no obligation to be kind.

However, it is an unfortunate fact that most people (who are still reachable) learn and change when they're faced with calm challenges to their position, vs getting their head bitten off which is more likely to drive them into the arms of extremist groups who take advantage of their stress and confusion to pull them in. I've been trying to develop the patience and strength lately to build tolerance of lighter bigotry so I can talk with the person long enough to plant some seeds. I see it as less 'be kind' and more "is this person an actual lost cause or are they just parroting whatever because they've never had to think in their life about any beliefs they hold and only ever get to interact with a select handful of flavours of humanity? Can I reach them, even a little, then let them go and see what happens?"

I had a 2 hour conversation with a guy the other day who "doesn't believe in" climate change, thinks Trump is morally 'neutral' and that maybe segregating Trans and POC people at the Olympics is the answer to whether or not Trans people should be allowed to compete.

Stupid and fucked up? 300%.

He also held a lot of normal progressive views and was queer. Cognitive dissonance galore in this man. (He also somehow genuinely believes it's the Democrats rolling back queer rights and was surprised when I explained to him how the Supreme Court works and that they're the ones attacking human rights because the Court is currently controlled by Republicans, not Democrats. He was actually surprised so I'm concerned where the fuck he's getting his information from, damn. It's always so much 'fun' trying to understand and then explain American politics as an Australian to other Australians. XD )

I actually ended up managing to challenge the majority of the fucked up bullshit he spouted in a way that seemed to actually make him think. I could see and hear the way he was talking was someone with a very limited pool of information not knowing any better and he even literally said "I've never gotten to talk to someone like you before" and had a generally positive demeanour toward me the entire time (while internally I was going yuck yuck yuck yuck hold on deep breaths remember you had really shitty beliefs ten years ago and even recently and probably still have some you have to work on that make other people go yuck yuck yuck yuck hold on just let him hear himself and hear you and let it germinate).

A year ago I would have walked away and also stopped engaging with him entirely.

But this time I experimented with a different angle and because I put the effort in to assume ignorance and offer him active listening I think I gave him a lot to chew on. I could literally see him thinking about things in a way you only get when someone is actively listening back (compared to how they behave and speak when their only goal is to clobber and belittle and bad faith 'debate' you into the ground about your own goddamn human rights).

People are scared, people are ignorant, people lack education and a wide enough pool of experience to engage with to develop their own critical thought and self-improvement, and bad faith actors are always taking full advantage of this, ESPECIALLY at the political and law making level.

Please don't get me wrong though. None of this is to say everyone has to suddenly stand there for 2 hours getting slammed with rancid takes about their own identity, culture, race, sexuality or whatever else the person is casually stomping all over with their 'opinions' because they've never experienced what it's like to be on the receiving end of their own bullcrap. And if you're personally part of whatever group is being stomped on then yeah, if you don't have the energy to educate every random bigot while being expected to have no negative responses to their behaviour, then absolutely walk away. And anyone insisting you have some kind of obligation to take that to the face just to teach some random who thinks so little of you can fuck off.

But if you do have the capability - be it because you don't personally experience the thing but know how to help educate about it, or have enough patience left to try with this person because you think they're worth your effort - and you won't be putting yourself in danger by standing up to them, then please do give it a try occasionally. Even if all it does is help to remind you that bigots aren't a monolith and can hold the most progressive views available then turn around and slap you with 'ok but maybe we should segregate sports again' while so damn sure that's somehow not racist as fuck because they genuinely believe racism is when you look at brown skin and deny service or something and that's the full extent of education they have on what it is. (And that type of limited education extends to their understanding of other marginalised demographics too of course). Re-humanising the enemy is always going to be helpful for combating them, so you can try thinking of it like that too if you do decide you want to try with someone like this and need something to help you get through the conversation long enough to plant some seeds and hope they grow. Better to add people to our ranks than to 4Chan's.

Many people have helped me break away from dangerous subtler shitty beliefs and mentalities throughout my life simply by taking me through my paces on it and patiently challenging and then letting me grow, and it's made me a much better person. I'm so grateful to all of them and I'm trying to learn the skills to pass that on. I hope other people out there who have the energy to try this see this and give it a go when they can. A multi-faceted approach is usually the best way to go, I think, and there are enough of us out here that not everyone has to do this, but there are some who can (especially if they have relevant societal privileges to help shield them) and will and that can have a huge impact on changing the tide. (Just pick your battles carefully and stay safe.)

“Be kind to each other even if you disagree about politics”

Actually no, I’ll tell you to fuck off if you tell me I shouldn’t have rights. Hope this helps!

[rorynni]

Not enough people talk about how good of a friend Armin was to Eren and how in touch he was with not only his own emotions but other people’s as well, so I’m gonna say my piece.

This scene always comes to mind. Armin notices that Eren is shaking and asks him if he’s scared.

Eren, being a teenage boy who thinks he’s tough shit (for lack of better words), immediately gets defensive as a gut reaction to what he probably perceives as an accusation instead of a genuine observation (again, because he’s a teenage boy who thinks he’s tough shit).

Armin’s response to that is to empathise with Eren and show sensitivity and solidarity, like: “Hey it’s okay if you’re scared dude, I’m shaking too.”

He’s not ashamed of the fact that he’s afraid because he knows that it’s a perfectly normal human response to the situation he’s in. He even goes so far as to physically show Eren that he’s trembling as well, and Eren’s demeanour changes immediately after that.

Even in this scene where Eren, Mikasa and Armin have canons pointed at them, Armin is able to understand and empathise with the fact that the Garrison soldiers’ hostility towards them is due to them being scared because they don’t know what’s happening.

In the early days of the fandom, when season one was airing especially, a lot of fans were very quick to label Armin as a crybaby, but the thing is that Armin is just as intelligent emotionally as he is logistically.

He’s able to identify his own emotions and express them healthily (most of the time), which means that he cries more often than other characters because he’s going through a hell of a lot throughout the series and his output for those emotions of fear, grief and stress is tears. Of course he’s also guilty of bottling them up at times — nobody’s perfect — but he generally just seems to have a better grasp and understanding of his own feelings and the feelings of others than many other characters.

[wikitpowers]

analysing the (heartbreaking) kitty letter bc i will never get over it <\3

Ty, Ty, Ty.

kit repeating his name so many times bc he is physically incapable of stopping oh i want to cry

Your name looks strange written out like that. Like an abbreviation. But Tiberius would be so formal. I never think of you that way. Or, I suppose I should say, I never thought of you that way. Tenses matter in these situations, I guess.

he spends so much time thinking about everything related to ty, even his name and how it’a pronounced. it's like he has a little box in the back of his mind reserved for all things ty and he only allows himself to open it sometimes, when he can't help himself any longer. and he does it, despite the pain it causes him.

It’s late, past midnight, and I’m sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom at Cirenworth.

late at night, all kit can think about is ty and everything he lost. in the darkness, he can allow himself to feel and remember.

Jem and Tessa gave me one of the best rooms. Of course they did. It has a view out over the gardens. Sometimes I see the ghost of a dog there, a golden retriever I’m pretty sure, running in and out of the flowerbeds. He seems like a pretty happy ghost.

this is one of the only happy parts in the whole letter. i love how it shows how much jem and tessa care about kit, how much they have made him a part of their home, their family. they truly want only the best for him and love him so much, they want him to have all of the things he never had with johnny (+ we have further confirmation that kit can definitely see oscar wilde which is simply adorable).

I think about how much you like animals and how much they love you, because of course they do. But it’s too late; this dog passed away a long time ago. You probably couldn’t even see him. It’s too late for a lot of things, now.

it's giving "of course animals also love you, it's hard not to love you" and the way he says it with such ease… like loving ty is natural and not surprising at all bc it's just the way things are. but then he goes back to his toxic mindset that it's too late now, it's too late for that love to grow because they're not together anymore, it's too late to take back everything that happened between them.

I’m still mad at you, and I don’t feel good about that. Maybe if I could forget, I could forgive. But I can’t forget that night you brought Livvy back. I’ll suddenly remember even when I’m thinking about something else. I’ll be in the middle of helping Tessa in the garden and suddenly I’ll turn around and I’m back in Idris. 

he doesn't like being angry, he wants to move on, but he can't because it's ty. maybe if it was anyone other than ty. but it's not. no matter how hard he tries, he can't forget everything that happened at the lake. even when he's doing normal ordinary things, it will hit him that he's not okay, even after all this time. kit is struggling to forgive but he's really trying.

I remember I told you I loved you. I remember I told you I would help you, but not if you raised Livvy from the dead. Not if you did necromancy. But you wanted that more than you wanted me.

the reason why it's so hard to forgive is because of all the memories which are still so fresh in his mind. he can remember every detail, he can remember the pain it caused him to open himself up like that and then be broken apart. he was truly honest with someone for once and took a chance only for it all to come crashing down, for it to be clear that ty never wanted any of that and he certainly never wanted him (what a bunch of bs, kit, c'mon bffr) :(

And I understand that. I’m not angry about that. Here’s what I’m angry about: when you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved. I don’t know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I can’t forgive that.

the way he says he understands it has my throat tying up bc kit genuinely believes it - that ty could never love him. and more so, that he has good reason for it. nobody has ever loved him so why should ty be any different? kit isn't angry about not being loved (he's never been loved), it's that ty changed himself. ty became someone kit never thought he could be, someone he can’t recognise. all of kit's anger is directed towards ty and what he did to himself, it was never about kit's hurt feelings. kit knows hurt, he's dealt with it his whole life. his concern is ty.

And you made me someone who has to keep a secret I never wanted to keep. I was raised by someone who had so many awful secrets, and when I started my life as a Shadowhunter I wanted to do it openly, and honestly. But now I’m just someone else with secrets I can never tell. Just like my dad.

i think kit’s greatest fear is turning into johnny. turning into someone who has so little love to give, someone who lies and cheats their way through life, makes kit terrified that he could end up like johnny. (but i also really love the fact that johnny was brought up at all bc it shows kit still thinks about him and that his death did impact him. i can't wait to see more of what kit thinks about him in twp).

It makes me angry, so angry. I want to yell at you. I wish you were here so I could yell at you.

and still, despite his anger; despite him not being able to forgive; despite feeling betrayed; he still loves ty. he still wants ty by his side. he wants to tell him everything that he wrote on paper, he wants ty to hear his words and be angry at him. he just wants ty.

and the yelling bit… like michi said, i hope the mutual yelling at each other will end in an angry kiss ehem

Kit

oh how painful it is to sign a letter he will never send

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

feel like dandadan is a setting weird enough that weird relationship dynamics just kinda fit the vibe without much further effort.

jiji seems like the type of guy who would convince okarun to do some gay experimenting with him and all the while be genuinely convinced its just a "bro thing"

like somehow cooks up some shit like "oh, since we're both into momo, we could practice being boyfriends on each other!" through a string of logic that Only Makes Sense To Him

okarun deep down knows it Is Gay but also ends up liking it enough that he does mental gymnastics to convince himself that this somehow constitutes normal close friend behavior (and also keeps telling himself "i just don't want to hurt jiji's feelings, that's all!!!")

momo herself is initially unaware of it (because okarun would die of embarrassment if he told her about it, and jiji wants her to be "surprised" by how much he "secretly practiced")

but when she finds out, she immediately loses her shit out of jealousy

which in turn kind of forces them to explain themselves, which then means explaining *why* they did it.

at which point momo is so fucking baffled and flustered that without really thinking she blurts out something like "okarun!!! you don't need to practice! if you wanna be my boyfriend just ask!!!"

which leads to okarun busting out the even More awkward "um. I-I would love to, really, but, um, I feel like you should know... all of this also kind of... made me realize i really really like Jiji too..."

and Momo's all huffily like "wtf then pick somebody!!!" (me. you have to pick me please pick me please please please-)

and Jiji is like "hear me out: what if we just both date him?"

Momo, more confused and scandalized than ever, but genuinely curious: "y. you can DO that????"

Okarun, somehow shocked to hear this despite having literally made out with Jiji already: "YOU LIKE ME BACK?!"

and so this situation ends up upgraded to a polycule

and then aira hears about this and is silent for all of about ten seconds before just straight up going "well in that case, i'm takakura-kun's girlfriend too!!!"

which has Momo soooo tilted like "Y-YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE INTO IT LIKE THAT!"

(Aira Does In Fact "just barge into it like that" once the ensuing argument somehow ends in her and Momo also confessing to each other in the heat of the moment)

[isa-ghost]

Happy 1 year since BOLAS.

Imagine him hesitating. Imagine him visibly tense from head to toe, feathers bristled in preparation to move in the blink of an eye to avoid another blade that they SWEAR is definitely coming.

Imagine Phil squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to tell himself mentally that Etoiles won't hurt him again, Purgatory is over, nobody he trusts is out to kill him anymore. He trusts Etoiles. He TRUSTS him, stop bracing yourself Phil.

Imagine him focusing so hard on trying to defeat the survivalist in him screaming to move, to run, to turn back around, to defend himself, thinking so hard and loud that his thoughts drown out the genuine awe and admiration Etoiles is expressing as he gazes at such soft, albeit raggedy jet black feathers.

Imagine that when Etoiles finally realizes Phil isn't really with him right now, he calls his name. "Philza?" Even called so softly, Phil jumps out of his skin and whips around, staring at Etoiles like he just threatened him.

Imagine the realization dawning on Etoiles's face as he knows right away why Phil is so jumpy, why he has That Look on his face. Imagine him immediately beginning to explain and defend himself and plead in that frantic, nervously smiley way he always does right before he starts to dramatically self-deprecate.

Imagine him desperately pointing out that after his team was dissolved, he became BOLAS, he became Phil's teammate, his brother in arms again. Of course he wouldn't hurt him, it was just that time! But still, Phil has those wide eyes and that pale face as he stares at Etoiles and grapples with the fear and now the guilt plaguing him.

Imagine the way they'd stare at each other in semi-mute horror as they process together in real time just how traumatic Purgatory was, and just how real it and the things they did during it were. That even though they both want to go back to normal, to move on without a wedge in their friendship, that they still love and care for one another, it was all very real and so were the horrific things they did in order to survive.

Ok ok hear me out

Phil showing Fit his wings was 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

But imagine Phil showing Etoiles, who last time he saw Phil's back for an extended period of time, killed him with a literal stab to the back in Purgatory.

[matrixbutvirtifed]

Little rant but liek animatic is like the only thing I think about these past couple of months like they're all I draw and have interest in talking abt ye their my special interest but it's liek one of the things that genuinely make me happy the only actual productive things I do in the day is document animatic info and make animatic merch like there's nothing else to do with my life ljek I lost interest in having conversations with people if it isn't osc (especially animatic related) and I rather document abt him than do school work like it feels liek I'm dedicating my whole life to her hahejjska I can't even watch ab episodes without paying extremely attention to them and will feel bad if I don't memorize Animatics diologue haahjs.. ghats so funnimsmskakaloeow

I feel so sopssp normal ignore this

[kamiversee]

Everyone please treat Kami with respect she is a normal human being like you so think twice before doing and saying anything rash…. Istg people have no shame

This. & I’m leaving this as my last post about the drama, state of the world, & or anything else that has nothing to do with jjk, my fics, or my blog.

I’m tired guys. I’ve BEEN tired.

Writing keeps me going more than you guys know because I don’t only write smut/erotica. I have other projects I work on in my free time — writing & being an author is an escape for me.

I have a life outside of tumblr. A family that gives me just as much stress as literally anything else on this God forsaken planet. My soul is exhausted & I am drained—I always have been. Writing/tumblr & my friends are literally what keeps me going because I find so much joy in those two things. Three days in a row I have logged onto this fuckass app & dealt with some ignorant comments or just blatant hate & this is my last time telling y’all that I’m SO tired of it.

I appreciate the support & love I’ve been given thus far & my heart goes out to all those out there, genuinely. 💗💗

If anyone else has anything negative to say to me I won’t even respond to it anymore; leave me the fuck alone. Let me write what tf I wanna write. Let me live while I actually still can.

& if you voted for Trump or you support trump—kindly get the fuck off of my page, thank you.

[syppys-den]

thank you NLH

genuinely whenever someone tries to argue that Superman's alienation and heritage aren't important to his character it makes me want to saw off my foot

and not just for the obvious reasons of it erasing why he exists at all, but also because if you did that with ANY character with a similar backstory to him, as in tried to make their origins and alienation irrelevant, then I think it's fair to say that's bad writing

also I love how they opened up their argument as if to say that The Els were never there for Clark but the Kents were, ignoring the fact that the former are... y'know FUCKING DEAD

and also normally it's shown that getting Kal off of Krypton was extremely difficult in some way or another (whether it be because of the laws Krypton had in place, the resources necessary being scarce, the gravity of the planet, the time they had, or all of the above) but Jor and Lara persevered so their son could live, because they loved him that much, so to argue that they were never there for him is just wrong, because if that weren't the case, Superman wouldn't fucking exist

literally the only good thing to come out of Byrne's stuff is the idea that Clark/Kal is who he really is and Superman is just what he can do

Jor El and Lara never helped him with his homework, or bought him Christmas presents, or held his hand while checking under the bed for monsters. The Kents raised Clark Kent, and Clark Kent IS Superman. Action Comics 524

[lamb-bait]

I realized something about myself sooner than my parents did, sooner than my friends did, and sooner than anyone I managed to lie through my teeth and convince to love me.

I was a wolf.

Selfish, jealous, vile. The mask I wore to comfort those around me, the tendencies I had when I saw something or someone wanted - all those years of repressed urges. It's hard. I was born in the wrong century, the wrong millenia, the wrong era. Imagine if I could just take what I wanted? If bashing in someone's skull was an action people looked up at, all these violent and disgusting desires weren't socially frowned upon.

Thankfully, tumblr has been a lovely faucet to expell my thoughts. To share some things before I imploded. Even if my physical, innate horrid nature was left unattended, and my emotional capacity was shallow to hear empty, feeling my heart race and obtaining a genuine and pure emotion for someone other than myself - through rape, father figured smut and vile fantasies - felt as though my mask was finally off. Chasing something I don't deserve, something I can never have. lying to myself, convincing myself that it was possible. yeah right. as if.

my ranting aside, today's topic is about emotional selfishness.

I often claim that I'm obsessive and possessive, and while that's true, it only happens once I make a connection to someone. An emotional one. Expressing weaknesses, smiling at the messages, longing for the painful distance of someone who finally understands me for who I am. A creep putting on the front of a polite, somewhat normal guy who wants to be loved for the person he doesn't have the audacity to present to the world. I urge people to get close to me, I tease and smile and laugh, I worry and comfort, I ask them to tell me their secrets, their concerns, their lives - while holding every part of me back. Would they waste their time with me if they knew what I was? If they knew that my fantasies and desires were innate and not just built off of things I saw online? Could I truly take off the mask and still be accepted? Or, present myself as the engima and play along with that concept until they find someone else to make them feel the same way I once did? Can I handle watching someone I've grown attached to slowly drift away? The sick and twisted thing I call my heart, has it always been that fragile? It must have. The single most thing I despise being done to me, was easier to do to others.

I understand, more than what anyone may think I do about the fear of abandonment. And, it's one of the greatest hurdles I hope to jump through one of these days. But, I really need to put an end to dumping my insecurities online - but hey, it's my blog. I'm sure you'll get a more vile post later tonight. Until then,

With love, lust and everything inbetween,

Shepard