#this is from the dvd so sorry for any flaws

[thoselethalarts]

𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖘 𝕿𝖔𝖒𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖉 - 𝕻𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝕾𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞

(R) Gym Uniform: “I Didn’t Sign Up For This!”

(NRC Courtyard) (Film Studies Club)

Film Studies Mob A: But… w-why would you do this…?! We’re brothers! I trusted you!

Film Studies Mob B: I’m sorry… but there’s nothing I can do. It just has to be this way. Film Studies Mob B: HYAH!

(stabbing noise)

Pome Mob A: AAAAUGH-!! (collapses)

Marcus: (internally) …Really? That was the most stupidly cliché performance I’ve ever seen.

Marcus: I get that this is just a high school play so it’s not like I should expect cinematic greatness, but… Marcus: Even the most low-budget direct-to-DVD horror movies I’ve seen have had a semi-realistic reaction to being stabbed. This is just sad. Marcus: This whole club has been just a huge disappointment... I only joined because I thought we’d be watching and critiquing movies, not making our own. Marcus: Being the guy that directs the lights and holds boom mics for about an hour or two is boring… but at least I don’t have to do any acting.

Vil: Cut!

Film Studies Mob A: (gets up from the ground) Dorm head! How was my performance? Did it meet your expectations?

Vil: How should I put this… it’s indescribable, really. Vil: Everything you both were doing up until the act of betrayal was perfect and beautiful. But the instant it came down to that climactic moment… Vil: It was simply flawed! Melodramatic, cliché, disappointing, hardly beautiful in the slightest. If this were your audition then I would have sent you away immediately for such a mediocre performance.

Film Studies Mob A: E-Eek...! It was that bad…?!

Vil: I saw you then not as a man being betrayed by his own flesh and blood, but a man pretending that he was being betrayed. Vil: I want you, in body and mind, to FEEL the pain your character is inflicted, and show that pain on the screen. Do you understand?

Film Studies Mob A: Y-Yes dorm head. But… I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying. Film Studies Mob A: I did what I thought would happen in such a scene. What else am I to do? It's not like I have firsthand experience with being stabbed...

Vil: Maybe so, but still… It just doesn’t feel right. Vil: Perhaps it’s time for us to take a break and refresh ourselves before the next take. Take ten, everyone.

Film Studies Mob Students: Got it!

Marcus: Ugh… finally. My arms are killing me from holding this boom mic for so long.

---

Marcus: (drinking from his water) Haaah… just a little while longer and then I can finally go back to my dorm.

Vil: Marcus. May I have a word?

Marcus: Huh? Y-Yeah, I guess. Marcus: What’s up, Vil? Is there something wrong with the lighting or…?

Vil: Quite the contrary, actually; the staging and setup was perfectly fine. I was more interested in you specifically.

Marcus: …? Did I do something wrong?

Vil: Not at all. You don't need to worry, I'm not here to reprimand you. Vil: I couldn’t help but notice you scowling midway through our practice of the last scene. Vil: That sort of reaction didn’t seem like a coincidence. You also could sense that the acting was off, couldn’t you?

Marcus: Oh- You saw that, huh? Marcus: I mean… I guess so. Kind of. Marcus: But it’s not like my opinion matters all that much. I’m just a stagehand and you’re the director, after all.

Vil: Please, have some self-respect. Gauging audience reaction is important in film and drama, and that includes taking consideration from everyone that’s a part of production. Vil: Besides, if I recall you said in in your club introduction that you have a Viewtube channel that you host, right?

Marcus: Yeah, I do. Me ‘n my partner host it together. Marcus: We focus on horror and supernatural filmography, mostly. But sometimes we like to do research into true crime as well. Marcus: Sometimes it’s whatever we’re feeling like covering, but other times we get called into an area to investigate sudden hot spots of activity. Our, uh, boss is good at scoping out locations for us with that. Marcus: I wouldn’t say that we’re big by any means, but we have a somewhat decent following. Numbers have never really been something we care about focusing on.

Vil: I see, so you also have some personal background with filmography, albeit mostly in darker subjects.

Marcus: I guess you could say that. I like to watch a lot of horror, mysteries, and psychological thrillers in my spare time. And play video games of similar genres, too. Marcus: There's a couple channels online I follow too that go into behind the scenes and interviews for the stunts and kills when it comes to the more action-horror flicks. Marcus: So… again it doesn’t feel like my place to say this, but all that considered I felt like that whole last scene was just super anticlimactic and unbelievable to me.

Vil: Is that so… Then I see we’re in agreement. Vil: Sadly, I’ve up to this point been mostly uninvolved with dark tragedy performances, so if you have a thought on how the performance could be made better I would like to hear it.

Marcus: Ah, well uh- if you insist on hearing me out, then… Marcus: The lines are fine, I don’t really care about any of that. It’s the actions themselves that are bothering me the most. Marcus: See, usually when you’re stabbed like the lead was- in real life you don’t really yell or scream out loudly in pain like that. It's just not what happens. Marcus: Usually when it happens the most that you can muster out is a gasp, cuz all the breath in your body is being driven out from the shock. Nothing much more as you go down. Marcus: So, uh... that whole bit just came off as super lame and corny to me. Not in a good way either.

Vil: …Is that right? And where’s this information coming from?

Marcus: U-Uh... It- was from an interview I watched at some point. Behind the scenes for Lord of the Rings. Yeah.

Vil: Hm. I'm not familiar with that title. I'll have to look into it at some point. Vil: But, since you seem to be an expert on scenes like this I'm quite interested in what your interpretation would be. Vil: Both of you! Come over here for a moment.

(Sound of Mob Students approaching)

Film Studies Mob A & B: Yes dorm head!

Vil: I’d like to test something. Villain, I’d like you to go through our last scene again, and Marcus you will be in place of the protagonist. Show me what you would do differently if you were the one center-stage.

Marcus: Uh- wha? Er, Vil I’m just the stage guy, I don’t really do acting, remember?

Vil: You have personal experience in this matter, and that makes you our on-site expert for this instance. Vil: With that in mind, I want you to show me what your interpretation of our last scene would be. Hold nothing back.

Marcus: I… I guess. Okay then, if you really insist...

Vil: Places, please. And… Action!

Film Studies Mob B: …You were like a brother to me. By blood and by soul. I’m sorry… but it just has to be this way. Film Studies Mob B: HAH-!

Marcus: (Gasps out sharply, goes limp, and then collapses with a thud)

Vil: Cut! Vil: Well… I will admit I was skeptical of your claims, but that did look like quite a realistic reaction, Marcus. Almost disturbingly so, actually.

Marcus: It’s fine. Anyway, I dunno if that helps at all but that’s all that was on my-

Vil: Actually, you potatoes over there. You all witnessed his performance, did you not?

Film Studies Mob C: Yeah, it was stunning! Like a real scene from a movie! Film Studies Mob B: I-I was worried for a second that I really hurt him… a brilliant performance! Film Studies Mob A: I have so much to learn… I’ll need to brush up on my method acting…!

Vil: I think that decides it. Marcus, I’m appointing you to be the new lead actor in our film.

Marcus: H-Huh?! Hey, hold on a second! Marcus: Vil, I don’t do acting, I told you on day one! NO. ACTING.

Vil: Come now, you perform for your Viewtube audience regularly and you’re afraid of the stage in front of your peers? Vil: If there are no objections from the cast then we’ll need to have you fitted for the role’s costume, and you’ll be thoroughly trained for your new role as an actor. Vil: Committee, get our new lead a script! He has lines he’ll need to begin memorizing.

Marcus: N-No, you got it all wrong! I don’t even act for my channel, it’s all unscripted! I didn’t sign up for this! Vil-! Marcus: …Man… Signing up for this club was a mistake. I wanna take a nap and never wake up again…

/ End

[magnuficent76]

(looks at the ask button) oo this looks like the Talk about Thing you like button. What if you talked about Mephisto the thing of all time

(Also hope you don't mind me sending you asks so often I feel like it's alot but there's no pressure)

(I DON'T MIND AT ALL <33 I LOVE TALKING AND I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND !! /p)

TIME TO TALL ABOUT M3PH1ST0 IT IS SO THING CODED !!!

It runs a workshop for prosthetics and general robotics on Pandora, along with its adopted daughter er, assistant, 404, and several other machines that it hides from its previous 'owners'. The name is still a work in progress but the temporary name is Amps n' Caches [which isn't the best but I don't think Mephisto of all people knows how to name things.]

They love collecting old world relics ! Picked it up with their brother when they were small, and now likes fixing old stuff to the best of their capabilities. Some stuff works better than others [Like, did you know that if its well preserved enough, you can probably still get an old world mp3 to work ? Mephisto doesn't actually like much of the music but appreciates having it regardless], but they at least can turn on and perform some of the original functions. Some of these fix-ups include but are not limited to: A dirtbike, a radio that can surprisingly still pick up some signals, a handheld unbranded videogame system that is NOT copyrighted, an absolutely ancient blocky tv with an inbuilt tape player, and a handful of dvd players that can actually run modern-day disks with enough tinkering, and sound surprisingly good given their age.

Despite mostly using its Cycl0p kit prosthetics [Arm, Legs, Spinal help and Facial plate], Mephisto has made about 14 other ones for both utilitary usage [Comfort, other kinds of tools, etc] and for funsies [Aesthetics mostly, but also just to test its skills], as well as like 30 mobility aids for particularly hard days. Some are just lighter and easier to use, some help with particularly delicate tasks, some are just to look cool when you're at a store and don't need to fight people constantly, but all of them have names and are cared for deeply [No sentience for these however].

Mephisto's lab is considered a safe haven for all those who can't fight or who need help, despite him having quite a hefty reputation for being really brutal in battle. You can just ask any of the machines there and they'll tell you they'd rather be at the end of his fucked up saw arm than at the hands of their masters, but humans (particularly, those who are disabled in some way) will say the same thing more often than not. People say he's a great host and that he tries really hard to be polite and patient to everyone, but he will always vehemently deny it <3

They often go out into the wastes to find new metal/more parts for the workshop, and since cars explode in Pandora every other day, its not too hard a task. Given the opportunity to go to other planets he will also be more than happy to dumpster dive for things And if anyone tries to stop him he'll steal their shit too. The facial plate has an inbuilt identifier for the pieces they need, but they can probably identify it out of the top of their head too.

Although it makes money out of their robotics stuff, Mephisto is also a gun modder by profession ! This originated mostly out of spite in its teens, it also was a great opportunity to fix up any flaws or annoying details its guns had as it was growing up. It can be a little expensive to get it all, but Meph makes it worth it. Also, it has its own logo. Here it is :] [it covers the oriignal gun's brand cuz he don't really give a fuck]

Its not the best but hey, they're not a graphic designer, they're just makin' the guns.

...Sometimes, if you pay a lot of attention and put your ear against the walls, you can hear him mumbling to himself about "what happened", and how he's sorry he ever left, and how he misses "them all". If you're dumb enough to try and sneak up on him during this moment, you'll even see him clutching a folded up picture of a family in his hand, lovingly stroking it, like he's thinking about something. And then after he notices you'll catch a bullet between your eyes. Circle of life !

[latesummerfrost]

If any of you seriously went into an adaptation of an Anne Rice property on goddamn AMC expecting a trigger warning you're sipping some Olympic-grade delusion juice. Settle back down with a nice soothing episode of The Owl House on Disney and stop pussy-aching about media with blatant adult themes if you can't handle it. This is the network that ran The Walking Dead adapting a book about a wildly abusive relationship between preternatural creatures who literally kill people for sustenance and amusement. Seriously, disconnect from your idiot-box of collected trigger words and go kick open a DVD out of the Twilight collection for that wholesome, family-friendly, Mormon-skewed vampire experience you so dubiously crave. Lestat unrepentantly ate a whole damn baby in the books, sweets, you think this is the worst it's gonna get? 😂😂😂

Sidebar; as someone who grew up in an extremely violent household, I can safely attest that THAT scene was exquisitely done. Putting Louis and Lestat's relationship through the lens of Claudia's POV the last two episodes was nothing short of inspired. And sorry to say it, but every queer story isn't going to be sunshine and daisies (especially not one that is, again, about preternatural creatures who kill people for sustenance and amusement). I can binge Heartstopper on Netflix anytime I want, but I've been waiting for THIS particular show my entire life.

Horror isn't just about beings with special powers peacocking and monologuing between luscious set pieces. The real horror of this story has always been underneath all of that simmering in the protagonists' extremely flawed humanity. Did you seriously walk into a horror show and balk at people experiencing and perpetrating horror?

And as a lifelong reader, let me close with this; this IS our Lestat. This is Lestat in as many forms and personalities as he's ever held (countless, btw), fused into one being who is going to fit the trappings of this story as its NEW custodians lead us down dark new paths.

Jesus god between this all and the assertion that Rice hated women because - let me check my notes - bad things happen to women in The Lives Of The Mayfair Witches (because it would have been a much better series if Lasher was a friendly pet ghost who tied the neighbors' shoelaces together when they were mean to Deirdre, and Rowan just spent the entire saga cruising on her boat and patching peoples' brains together between calls home to her loving and unproblematic Aunt Carlotta), I don't know how to engage with fandom anymore. I don't know how to politely tell people to shove their weird puritanical ramblings into the orifice of their choice, so I'm just gonna word it like that. Get real; get a grip. Bad things happen to women and all you're doing when you bitch and moan about women writing about these things is passing the narrative torch on to men who can't fucking relate enough to themes like rape and forced childbirth to touch on them well. And YES, a lot of Rice's women are super horny. LET WOMEN BE HORNY. Are you people on crack? Ya'll smokin' that shit the conservatives be slingin' on corners about women needing to think more with their brains than their privates? Women have sexual agency. I didn't phrase that as a goddamn question, women can suck dick and eat pussy till their incisors fall out. Women being sexual has LESS THAN NOTHING to do with rape when it happens to them. Seriously, Mom's Got A Date With A Vampire is fully streamable on Disney, ya'll. God knows I love Caroline Rhea and Charles Shaughnessy enough to give it another watch myself in between maimings and tragedies on Interview.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep 26: Scorpion pt 1

AKA, the beginning of All The Borg Crap. I do not love the Borg- I don't really like any of Voyager's continuing villains, but I've had issues with the Borg as a concept since Next Gen, and I feel like all the additional spotlight on them in Voyager just shone an even more glaring light on their flaws, but this particular episode was actually pretty decent, and better than I remembered.

For one thing, there wasn't a lot of actual Borg in it, just a lot of the crew preparing to face them, which has enough dramatic tension in and of itself. In any given episode, you know the crew is going to face a life and death scenario at some point, that's just how Star Trek, and most sci-fi, works, and you accept it as the status quo of the genre and don't think about it a lot. With the Borg, however, they're facing a fate much worse than death, and it's actually just really stressful to watch characters you love have to deal with the gnawing, existstential dread of that. Like, hmm, do I really want to think about my beloved space family facing the prospect of being turning into mindless zombie slaves? No! I do not! And the fact that Starfleet could literally have stopped the Borg forever, and didn't, because they felt sorry for them, makes it all ten times worse- but my burning hatred of the ending of 'I, Borg' is the subject for another post someday, when I do another full rewatch of TNG.

I liked the little scenes of Janeway on the holodeck in DaVinci's studio; the set is very detailed, and pretty, and they have a cozy, meditative atmosphere that acts as a nice counterbalance to the existential Borg dread and frenetic activity of basically arming themselves for war.

Having a new villain that could take down the Borg was actually a nice change- as evil as species 8472 is, it's actually a relief to have regular baddies who just want to kill everyone. It's kind of hard to judge the cgi fairly now, since it was the best they could do with the tech and budget they had at the time, but it doesn't hold up super well. (One thing I think is absolutely hilarious though is watching the DVD special features, and finding out that the pile of dead Borg was actually just action figures that they sawed apart and glued together and filmed from different angles. I thought it looked a little uncanny valley, and that's because yeah, it's literally a pile of miniature dolls. Actual mass produced merch, for children, used as an actual prop, in the actual show! Too wild!)

I appreciated the dilemma of deciding whether they should go through Borg space or not, and the disagreement between Janeway and Chakotay was well played, and pretty devastating, tbh. Chakotay always seems more ready to give up and be willing to settle for a new home, whereas Janeway never is, and considering that her stance on that has never wavered, it hurts when Chakotay disagrees with her. It hurts more when he won't concede she's right, even knowing that in her mind, she doesn't even consider not going home as an option. Chakotay must know that for her, the choice has always been get home or die trying, no third option, and that the crew would all follow her to it if she asked it of them, so it hurts when he won't back her when she takes the best option in a bad situation. On the one hand, I get where he's coming from- it would be safer to give up and go live on some planet, they could probably have had good lives- but they're Starfleet, and they'd choose Starfleet every time, and they'll chose it even when it the odds are against them. Janeway is the most Starfleet any person could ever be- and he had to know that, but when it comes down to the wire, he lets her know she's on her own when she makes that decision. At the end of the day, the hard decisions all fall to her, with no one to ask for help or intervention, and no one else to bear the weight of those decisions with, except maybe for supportive words from her crew, especially Chakotay and Tuvok. The only people she can rely on are her crew, and ultimately, Chakotay does let her down in that moment. Maybe he's too angry to be Starfleet when staring down the possible loss of everything they have on Voyager, but it still hurts that he won't even pay lip service to believing in her, for her sake, since he's going to follow her orders anyway. A heartbreaking scene, but very real. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, you're going to end up disagreeing, and when it's something as fundamental as right or wrong, life and death, it's going to hurt worse. But still they do their jobs as though it didn't tear their hearts out. Ugh. This show sometimes!!!

Anyway, it ends on a very nailbiting cliffhanger, and I remember being pretty excited to find out what happened back in the day. Of course back then we didn't know about the cast change of doom looming ahead of us, and I'm not especially looking forward to it, but I'm hoping that maybe now, with hindsight and the perspective of a few decades, I might hate it less, or at least find things I didn't appreciate back then when it was all happening the first time. We'll see!

Tl;dr: A surprisingly suspenseful and tense episode that managed to bring a heap of character driven drama without bringing nearly any Borg directly in to it at all.

[duhragonball]

32 episode in out of a 64 episode run and the closest we've gotten to Super Saiyan 4 is butt-pliers.

I'm just... trying to fathom this. Wasn't Super Saiyan 4 one of the few things Toriyama actually gave the crew that made GT? Why did they take forever getting there and waste all that time on completely asinine shit? They literally turned Goku's (at the time) strongest transformation into an asspull when they had plenty of time to devote to Giru saying his own name and Tuffle smirking.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that some people say this show was better than Super. Super had some low, low lows, but I genuinely think I'd rather watch any episode of that than GT. I knew it was created largely to keep the DB content machine churning out a new episode in that prime time slot, but I hadn't expected it to be so... obvious about it. Like it's not actually trying to be anything more or less than 20ish minutes of television. Say what you will about the Star Wars Prequels, George clearly didn't make them because he wanted more money. The story was poorly executed and had some major flaws, but it was a genuine story with a beginning, middle and end and all the other stuff a story needs. Your section on great "ideas", poorly executed only further cements the fact that GT has no ideas, and on the rare occasion they do it's utterly squandered in favor of Morishita's episodic structure. GT feels like they started working on each episode the day after the previous one aired, and frankly I wouldn't be shocked if that was the case.

Sorry for the rambling ask, but it's really incredible that halfway through this show they still can't do better than the Roaming Lake. Because as bland as it was, it was at least a story.

I need to clear up a misconception here. Akira Toriyama did not design Super Saiyan 4. It was, in fact, designed by Katsuyoshi Nakatsuru, who was one of the main character designers for the Dragon Ball anime franchise.

Later on, Akira Toriyama did a drawing of Nakatsuru's design, and this is probably what led people to assume that it originated with Toriyama.

In fact, the drawing was included in the GT DVD box set, along with a message from Toriyama about the show, where he praises Nakatsuru's uncanny ability to imitate his own style, to the point where even he, Toriyama, had trouble remembering which designs were Nakatsuru's and which were his own.

What Toriyama did contribute to GT was mostly used at the very beginning: The logo for the show, the new looks for the main characters, designs for some of the machinery (most notably Giru and the GT Ship), and he drew some images of Goku, Trunks and Pan on some alien worlds, which probably helped inspire a few of the early episodes.

And Toei didn't waste any time using that stuff, because they knew which way their bread was buttered. I'm certain they would have loved to have even more input from Toriyama than what they got, because they knew he was the driving force behind the franchise's success. But he was finished with the manga, so his limited contributions to GT were all they were going to get.

The thing you have to understand about Super Saiyan 4 is that it was part of Plan B. Plan A was the Grand Tour, with Goku, Trunks and Pan roaming the universe hunting the Dragon Balls. But according to Kozo Morishita, that plan fell through when they decided the scripts just weren't working. So they changed the focus to a battle-oriented plot, and that's how we got into the Baby Saga. And of course, it wouldn't do for Goku to get a new transformation right away, so it took a while for him to get there.

Afterward, SSJ4 kind of became the symbol for the GT brand. They put it on the cover of the DVD set I bought. SSJ4 Goku was on Volume 1, even though he doesn't appear in that form until the very last episode on the set. Then they put SSJ4 Gogeta on the cover of Volume 2, even though he only shows up for half an episode near the end. But come on, what else were they gonna put on those covers? Giru? Rage Shenron? That pervy space deer? People love SSJ4, and GT's the only anime where you can get it.

If they had it to do over again, maybe SSJ4 would have been given the focus from the very start, kind of like how Dragon Ball Super remained squarely focused on the different "godly" Super Saiyan forms. But GT never had a focus beyond "more Dragon Ball cartoons in the golden timeslot". They kept changing the plans until they ran out of show. So even when they managed to do something right, it usually wound up being too little, too late.

This is why the "good ideas, bad execution" defense never made sense to me. I literally saw someone on Twitter use that very line today. I think they said "concepts" instead of "ideas", but same thing. I mean, if you like Super Saiyan 4, fine, but it doesn't make sense to praise the show and then say the execution was bad. The execution is the thing you're watching. That's like eating a really lousy cake and saying it was still okay because the cook had some good ideas about baking. No, that's not how this works.

A lot of GT's success seems to stem from the willingness of fans to overlook its flaws. At the end of the day, it still features a ton of popular characters, and it resembles DBZ closely enough that it can be a serviceable continuation of the property. I have to assume the "asspull" scene just doesn't bother some fans the way it bugs you or me. I'm not sure anyone finds it hilarious or anything, but they don't find it insulting, and that might be enough to earn GT a free pass in the hearts of a lot of the fandom.

And that may have been the guiding principle for making the series as well: Just get it done, because it's better for everyone to have some Dragon Ball on TV than none at all.

[the-plot-blog-thing]

(originally published on 11/30/20)

DTVA/DTS TAGTEAM TWEET-ATHON MOVIE #62: KRONK’S NEW GROOVE (2005) 

Ok so, funny story. I actually saw this movie before I ever saw the original.

I remember seeing the trailer for the first movie all the time on my VHS for Toy Story 2 when I was younger, and just sort of piecing the plot together from that. I remember watching this movie all the time when we got the DVD because I figured it was the next best thing.

Anyway, I did eventually watch the original movie, and you all know the rest. It’s one of, if not my favorite, Disney movie ever made. But I’m just as familiar with this sequel as I am with that film, so I already had a lot of my opinions on this one already formed.

And my thoughts? While a lot of the jokes still have that same level of wit and charm as the original, I feel like a lot of this film’s runtime is wasted on trying to figure out what sort of a sequel it wants to be, and the final product suffers as a result.

This movie has like 3 different plotlines that sort of connect in the end, but not really well. 

1.) Kronk’s father is coming and Kronk wants to make him proud. 

2.) Yzma returns and scams Kronk into joining her again so he can get a house. 

3.) Kronk gets a girlfriend and loses her

All of these could be plots for movies on their own, but it feels like the script writers couldn’t decide which one to choose, and decided to do all of them under the guise of “The first movie was meta, so if we acknowledge that this movie is disjointed it will work!”

It doesn’t though. The Emperor’s New Groove is such a tightly made film, no scene or line of dialogue feels wasted. This movie just WASTES so much time trying to explain itself, and trying to connect all the plots, that there’s not enough time for comedy or fun animation moments.

And the problem is, only about 1.5 of these 3 plots are really all that good. The main Papi plotline is actually pretty funny for the short time spent on it, even if I feel the ending is a bit rushed.

The Yzma/ Old Folks plot is only good when Yzma is onscreen, and I couldn’t care less when she’s not. So I would say only about half of it is really any good.

The Birdwell plot COULD work, but the way it’s presented just doesn’t. It did get a few more chuckles out of me than I expected, but it is still the least funny out of all the plots.

I would’ve just picked one plot and ran with it, or better yet, just go back to the drawing board. I actually have like two different ideas for ways I think they could’ve gone, but I given the word limit of tweets, I won’t indulge them here...

Anyway, the animation is just ok. It doesn’t look bad, but it’s a little too stiff for a fast moving comedy like this. The music is good though, I like the opening song and I even like Yzma’s song despite it being a bit abridged in the actual movie.

The voice acting is still fantastic too. Patrick Warburton and Eartha Kitt are still fantastic, and it was nice to hear from John Goodman and John Mahoney. Tracy Ullman stands out as Birdwell even though that segment of the movie falls short.

I can only assume that they must’ve cornered David Spade in a soundstage and forced him to record a few lines as Kuzco because his role is almost nonexistent here. I do enjoy his few scenes though.

Overall, while I’ll always hold some nostalgia and love for this movie, I do acknowledge its flaws, and I just wish it were more consistent. 

6.5/10: Only a moderate raise of the thumb from Papi, sorry...

[im2tired4usernames]

GoooooOOOOOOoooOOooOooddddd day and evenening and everything to you!!! ;-D

1, 4, 6, 8, 13, 15, 16, 22, 23, 25, 29, 35, 39, 53, 55, 73, 74, 77, 79, 84, 90 and 98?

P.S.: Sorry for your current struggle!

P.P.S.: I hope my questions about the ghosts did not make you more uncomfortable!

P.P.P.S.: I hope these are not too many questions for you but I figured since you asked for distractions, more would be merrier. :-)

Goooooooooooooooooooooood times to you too!

Most favorite activity?

i really enjoy drawing i love makin up characters n stories also!

4.Kind of meal you really appreciate?

honest to goodness i appreciate almost anything someone feeds me especially if its home-cooked but i really do love breakfast foods potatoes n cheese best.

6. Do you have any idols?

im not sure what counts as an idol? i once got told that my favorite book series when i was 12 was an idol?

8. Favorite music genre?

i like speed metal

13. A job you can't do yourself but admire people who do?

oh there is a LOT dentists, plumbers, trash collectors, house keepers, teachers, pharmacists there are some very skilled and wonderful people who do a lot for our community

15.Do you believe in ghosts? and 16 If so, how do you imagine them? If not, is it just because you don't want to make contact with them?

i love the idea of ghosts i like the idea of there being some kind of after life so that i can be with the people I've lost again and so i can watch after and not be far from the people i love who are living.

I like to think ghosts just are here waiting and watching able to go where ever they'd like because they don't need to breath or worry about catching on fire or something to just enjoy the afterlife with their friends n family, explore, learn from mistakes they made in life, fix relationships (also i want to go to the bottom of the ocean so bad)

but i don't really believe in them, i want them to be real but i cant help but feel like if ghosts are real then why are there so many crimes against the dead unsolved and why is there no justice for millions of people? I feel like my passed family would find ways to yell at me from the grave for my many flaws and sins (p.s.dont worry friend thank you for caring)

22. Movie you can't stop cheering up for?

alright friend ima introduce you to my most favorite movie it's called Journey to Beginning of Time by Karel Zeman my grandad had the VHS and i have LOVED it since i was three years old. I used to set up a blanket on the floor some chairs and a blanket on top to make a roof, staple some paper together to make "my diary" wear a goofy hat and pretend i was in the movie with the boys goin on they're adventure Its about a four boys who get on a boat and go back in time they each have their own personalities and adventures all of em but one of them have goofy hats! one of them wants to be a scientist so he documents all their findings in a diary theres a lot of great prehistoric critters someone almost gets eaten by a terror bird, someone fights a scary lizard thing i dont remember what it was supposed to be some kind of froggy newt thing it scared me depending on whether you watch the original czech version or the shitty English dub (my grandad had both my grandma grew up with the orignal so she likes that one better) you'll either see the big bang or the creation from the bible i grew up with the shitty english dub so i got weird hand creation ending and ima be honest i prefer that version but probs only because thats what i grew up on. I WISH TO GOD i could find it on dvd in the shitty english dub i grew up with SO MUCH i watched that VHS so much it died im pretty certain i had a crush on the youngest boy played by Vladimir Bejval his character caught a fish.. its a great movie if you get the chance to watch it but it's also like made in like the 50s so uuuuuuh keep that in mind but for the time it was made the special effects were brilliant. it makes me happy its like a warm bowl of soup but in film.

23. Best ingredients for a pizza?

scrambled eggs bacon n sausage or just plan ol pepperoni

25. Can you dance? Is there any dance you want to learn someday?

No not well i know some like old dances from when i was in a few plays like pride n prejudice, id like to learn swing dance

29.Good memory from your childhood you keep remembering?

it was nice having a group of friends and just sitting in our bedrooms drawing, making ocs and stories together and listening to each other gush about the things that made them happy.

35. If you could gain any ability for giving up one, which one would you pay and which one achieve?

uhhhh ability to whistle for the ability to cure all injury and illness (not a fair trade but lemme be reverse Infectious Lass please)

39.What are you mostly in the mood for the whole day?

im always pretty happy to talk to my partner and read books to my siblings ALSO IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR GOIN FOR A WALK IF ITS PRETTY OUTSIDE

53.Were you a smart kid at school?

nope!

55 .Do you like your hometown?

i love some people here otherwise indifferent?

73.Do you do any sports and if so which ones?

nope i was homeschooled

74.What's your dresscode? What makes you choose the clothes you're wearing? (on different occasions)

i really prefer skirts over dresses spef at knee length and i prefer no sleeves or short sleeves with just a sweater if it gets chilly. i like feelin fancy and cutesy.

77.Can you imagine something pretty romantic you would like your/a partner to do for you?

honest the most romantic thing i think someone can do is just to be there for each other that you want to experience life together even when life is incredibly shitty and not ideal at the moment but sticking through it with them anyhow because you want to experience life with them whem it's good or bad, being there the day their parents die, not ditching them if they lose their job being their cheerleader if they get cancer...just kinda knowin your a team that you've got their back n them your's and that you'll build a life together that makes you both happy through it all idk just bein there n lettin me be there for em in return? but idk im kinda shit at the romance tbh uuuuhhhh i appreciate it when someone sets time aside for me that means a lot to me more then they'll probably ever know

79.Is it risky to ask you whether you are a honest person or not?

not sure if im the right one to judge that but i have been told im "stupidly honest" id like to think im honest but im not sure? i dont trust myself in anything!

84.Are you into candies?

yes i love sour candies and chocolates

90.If you know your go-to person currently has time, do you still text them, call them or leave a voice message?

im not sure im smart enough to understand this question?

98.Do you prefer living in a (big) city or in a (countryside) rural area?

they both have their ups n downs probably country side.

Thank you so very very very much for the asks golly gee it def gave my brain a break from all the big scares thank you so much really honest you have no clue how much this helped calm me down i really really appreciate it so much i hope your weekend is wonderful and i hope the weather is nice and you get to eat something nice and your day is full of lots of small joys!

[mobstersandlobsters]

Movie reviews!

House of 1000 Corpses - 100% Rob Zombie's baby through and through for creative range in cinema, but it just wasn't fully perfected yet in my opinion which you can almost feel the movie dragging through in the end for me personally (that and a limited budget), but still totally bonkers with some truly great scenes (particularly the scene where captain spaulding gives them a tour of albert fish, Doctor Satan, etc.) and shows one of my favorite loving psycho clowns Captain Spaulding and definitely worth watching with a group of friends for some scares (and also fun fact for a while and still now maybe I believe, they have some House of 1000 Corpses setups for Halloween that you could visit for scares as well), 7/10 movie for me overall, good, but not great in my opinion (bumped it up 1 point especially due to how creative the characters/settings were in this).

Devil's Rejects - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this movie ..Did I also mention I love this movie? This in my opinion is really a perfect example of Rob Zombies creativity (although some of his scenes seem eeriely similar to movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre like they did in House of 1000 Corpses sprinkled a little bit throughout), ultimately this movie really blew me back in terms of writing, acting, and pace with dialogue/action and just an overall great and entertaining/exciting movie and I rewatch this movie a lot and highly recommend it (3 from hell is garbage though I'm sorry, and I also have Devil's Rejects on DVD because why not), overall solid 8/10 movie for me subjectively (and 10/10 with 100% bias lol).

Texas Chainsaw - Speaking of Texas Chainsaw..this movie is the epitome of great cinematography that makes you feel as if you are there even decades and decades later, watching with a terrifying setting and great writing that depicts a feeling of utter terror with an entertaining twist, ultimately fulfilling, what you would want out of an edgy horror flick for it's time (1978 I believe), 10/10 movie subjectively for me.

Texas Chainsaw 2 - Good actors, setting was definitely kind of cool, overall not my cup of tea personally but I can see how some people would like it. I would subjectively give this movie a 6.5 out of 10, not great, not bad either.

Nightmare On Elm Street - Totally creative out of the box character with a sense of psycho charm and a set of great actors, when I first watched this I loved it and really truly enjoyed this movie and would recommend this for anyone wanting to watch their first horror movie as a teen, overall 9/10 film (can't think of any flaws but that's what I would rate it).

Freddy VS Jason - I don't have to say anything other than the fact that the final battle is beyond epic and I would rate this an 8.5/10 (just a badass movie when I watched it from what I can remember).

The Stepfather - Solid movie about your everyday psychopath (particularly Terry O' Quinn) with good casting, setting and writing. Overall 7/10, not too shabby and a fun and crazy watch, I believe The Stepfather was much better off without sequels and as a stand alone classic horror-esque thriller movie.

The Stepfather 2 - Although the casting was excellent (particularly Terry O' Quinn and Meg Foster), the writing felt rushed and jumbled, although some of the action scenes with the ending wedding scene and the stepfather driving around like crazy in the junkyard I believe left some excitement and fun, it fell short with corny lines such as "daddy's home!" and obvious kills that go against the original character's intellect and cunning abilities, so overall a 6/10 with great actors but a horrible and dense plot line.

The Stepfather 3 - In my opinion a horrible movie all around (although the sequels are still better than The Stepfather remakes in my opinion), the acting is almost hard to believe how bad it is, while the writing was actually decent in my opinion, overall I believe if they had better actors in this (like getting Terry O' Quinn if he was available or another talented actor) it may have worked, but alas, I find this movie to be around a 4.5/10, almost watchable but not really if you pay attention to the acting (and the ridiculous scene where the man falls and hurts himself...from a childs wheelchair that barely hits him), I digress.

Terrifier - I was actually disappointed in this movie (although Terrifier 2 left me shook and also even more disappointed not even watching Terrifier 3), I loved the throwback theme the movie portrayed with the beginning especially and the clown was scary as well as entertaining for me, but where it fell short was in execution/ending, I personally believe the girl that looks like the character in Scream (the main girl with the black hair) I believe if the movie at least kept that girl as well as her sister in the background possibly (the black haired girl's friend dies, but she wasn't much of a main character anyway although she was entertaining), but I truly believe if they kept the main girl and possibly her sister (although the disfigurement was gnarly and part of the gore), I honestly feel like if they kept those girls in the background for a sequel to get revenge or some sort of plot line where they try to figure out/stop the clown it would have been very interesting to watch, but alas, 7/10 but wouldn't probably watch again but who knows.

Lastly I have:

The New Daughter - Tempted to rate this a 0/10 but instead I will rate it a 6/10 to where it had solid potential to be a decent movie with some of the cast and the beginning of the movie/story, but the ending was so horribly memorable, I will forever curse Kevin Costner for even thinking this was a good idea lol (but that's just my opinion).

Besides the movies I have listed I also have some hidden gems such as: Halloween (1978), Stalked By My Doctor, The Deliberate Stranger, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (although it's technically not a horror movie it is terrifying at how it is a true story and how easily we can be deceived and hurt), and lastly I would also add Halloween 2 and H20 for kicks as well as parts 1 and 2 of Friday The 13th.

[hotwaterandmilk]

Favourite Anime OP/ED Sequences | Majutsushi Orphen (1998) Opening feat. Ai Just on my Love by Sharan Q

[pffbts]

↬genre: slice of life; fluff ; crack; hint of a love triangle ; loads of tension.

↬characters: jealous!wen junhui x reader | support: kim mingyu (plays a big role)

↬w.c: 4K

↬author`s note: sorry for the delay but this is basically junhui making your knees weak or you just want to beat his ass. this fic can go two ways―it`s yours to decide. also this is a re-write because the last attempt wasn`t reaching my heart. so i`m writing this again :) hope you enjoy this read! (btw i would strongly suggest you to read mingyu`s version before you jump onto this)

↬synopsis: there are 13 boys who lives in your town where each of them have each of their own colours. some you know in person & some from afar so one day you sat down deciding to describe each of their colours absorbing all of their goodness and all of their flaws. you wondered what if someone in some other town ever thought of questioning when they looked at these boys, that―what if we lived in the same town?

☍ seungcheol | jeonghan | joshua | junhui | soonyoung | wonwoo | jihoon | seokmin | mingyu | minghao | seungkwan | vernon | chan

[03:37 PM] [meet him at the dawn & he`ll take you to places you`ve never seen]

―standing opposite of the road, that day you saw him getting out of the newly opened chinese restaurant of the town. he was wearing a white shirt with two of the top buttons undone, the edges carelessly tucked in a freshly washed denim jeans to wind up with it. dashing as always, junhui had spared a listless glance at you and with his shoulders wide, he tucked his palms into both of his jean`s pockets.

you, on the other hand, didn`t smile at him but rather let your eyes widen a bit unconsciously. in split second, when you realized what had happened, you retreated back from keeping any kind of eye contact with him.

from the corner of your eyes, you could somehow make out that he was clearly smirking on his own. his little smirk was so palpable that it traverse through the air stirring up something in you along with the sudden heat splashing across your cheeks & neck. that feeling didn`t leave your body and waited a long time to fade until you finally reached back home.

you didn`t know much about junhui, as a matter of fact. surely you`ve seen him once in a while but that was it. you didn`t know what kind of person he was exactly apart from the fact that he was extremely beautiful. he was, if you weren`t mistaken, quite a silent heartthrob of the town.

he also, isn`t the type to talk much. that is to say, you have never seen him talk whenever you`ve spotted him on the street or anywhere in the local market. he didn`t study at your school and his place too, was far from your own so spotting him at your street wasn`t a regular thing until one fine day it happened out of nowhere.

you were out to go rent some dvd because the dvd player had been sitting under dust for a long time at your place. it was one of those day when iconic black and white movies which both you and your mother were equally fond of clenches you two in its tight hold so she gave you a little push to go grab some mutual favourites from the dvd rent shop down the street.

wearing a soft pink shorts and a white shirt typically bigger for your built, you walked out of your place to the dvd rent shop. swinging both of your arms on your side, you did a few little skips while walking. it was quite evident that you were in good spirit and why shouldn`t you be? a movie night and your mother was making your favourite dish tonight being the combo treat is not something of a regular thing in this household.

long after walking, you stood in front of the shop. keeping your eyes on the open sign, you push the door inside and soon you heard a peal of laughter already filling up the shop to the brim of it.

the laughter was as if it welcomed you to the shop but for some reason, you could recognize a single voice among the two.

you stop for a second, slowing down the motion of you closing the door and kept on listening to the laughters. in the slip of a quick second, you recognized it to be mingyu`s but you couldn`t see him right away.

whipping your head around, you tried detecting the direction from which it came until you heard a cough from the part-timer and the growing string of your attention rips right then.

bowing a bit to the part-timer who worked at the cash counter, you slowly walked through the shelves filled with all kind of dvds. your ears were perked up at the sound of giggles and laughter now a little bit on a lower note.

the part-timer probably sent the owner of those laughters a warning glance to maintain the silence.

you, on the other hand, still couldn`t find the movie you were looking for. walking listlessly, your eyes staring up and down the rows of shelves soon your back makes a sudden contact with something hard and warm.

for a moment you thought it would be mingyu and a lift at the corner of your mouth surfaces.

turning your neck around, you had to crane it up a bit to look at whom you stumbled upon considering in your head you thought it would be mingyu probably playing around with you and with his gigantic height your actions were sort of a reflex.

but as soon as you realized whom you stumbled onto, you quickly turned around and jumped three feet away from him.

“oh?”, with wide eyes junhui watches you jump back and then as he leans a bit by putting up one of his palm, he finally greets you, “hi.” the wide of his eyes cease within seconds replacing them into soft creases around the corners.

his voice carried an essence of mirth and from the looks of it, he clearly recognized you considering he has seen you quite a few times ― sometimes even when you`re not aware of his presence.

you bow a bit and give him a crooked smile although your eyes were so nervous, it couldn`t keep a single second of contact with his own until your eyes fixated on something familiar―it was the head peaking from behind junhui―of mingyu`s.

a wave of relief ran through your system as you, instead of returning junhui`s wave, put up your own palm and greeted mingyu. your friend`s eyes turn into crescents as he comes from behind the boy you just met and places his own palm against yours. you smiled up at him and he returns it as always.

seeing how junhui was left behind, mingyu turned around and stood next to you while placing his arm around your shoulder. a very familiar act. nothing you should be surprised of at this point.

“jun, meet_____, she lives across my street.”

you bow at junhui again. but in your head, you were wondering how did mingyu know him. at school, you`ve not really seen him around your friend and you, yourself haven`t really seen him that much. but without any further wait, mingyu answers the said question in your head.

“_____ meet wen junhui. he got transferred to our school few weeks ago and has newly joined the basketball team last week! have you seen him?”

“ah no―i think?” you answer back very unsure of your fading memory.

“mingyu said that you are quite a regular at the bleachers cheering for this buddy right here,” junhui speaks up for a first time after all this while. he pointed at mingyu while he utters those last words.

you flushed a bit at the mention of you being at the bleachers while you watch mingyu play. but it`s just, you are always there to support your friend. you don`t really make any sound while you`re at it though. most days, you just sit back and watch mingyu play. it`s not a secret that you very much adore his basketball skills.

“it`s nothing really..,” you squeeze out a carefree laughter although it ended up sounding like a nervous one, “i just…watch and,” with a shrug you continue, “maybe clap sometimes.”

junhui only chuckles as you finish. it looked like as if he caught you in your act. it really wasn`t looking nice for you now but at least you had mingyu`s arm around you so you stopped feeling a bit out of place, plus junhui was clearly a stranger. why must you care so much for what he thought?

“but even that bit is enough. after all, ______ & me, we`ve been friends since childhood. our mothers are best friends too! we even get to have weekly get-togethers every sundays.”

as new information for junhui`s ear comes to surface, you quickly looked over at him who now wore an indifferent expression as if somewhat a spark of jealousy lay across his chest. but when he saw you looking at him, he caught your gaze with his warm ones with that very recognizable smirk climbing onto his mouth making you think that he is clearly skilled at hiding his sudden change of emotions.

you stare at him for a good few seconds, feeling yourself getting braver as you have already caught him slip his cool awhile ago. clearly, in junhui`s head, he really didn`t want mingyu to continue so he spoke up.

“that`s good to know. but the question is will i get an invite someday?” he was asking mingyu the question but his eyes were all on you and at the same time he was observing how mingyu`s attention never faltered from upon your face.

you finally looked up to meet with your friend`s eyes on you and with one of his brows perked up, mingyu asked you as you did so, “that sounds good, doesn`t it? we should talk to our mothers for a permission though?”

you nod and add, “sure, that doesn`t sound bad. the more the merrier.”

absolutely not, you think back in your head, you definitely don`t like lots of people around you. no offense to junhui but you`re not exactly good with strangers or people in general.

“and what about cheering for me sometimes at the bleachers sometimes?” junhui leans against the shelf lightly and breaks the on-going conversation between you and mingyu with a sudden heated question.

“ayyyy that she will do of course. every friend of mine is _____`s friend so of course she`ll cheer for you, jun. although i`m a little special so i`ll get more cheers, right?” mingyu bent down and moved his face infront of you with the silliest smile on his face.

this boy, you thought, you`re really enjoying this, aren’t you?

you wanted mingyu to read your eyes but you were unsure if he was just putting up an act or simply being oblivious.

you close your eyes a bit and put up a pressed smile on your face as you thought about how mingyu clearly didn`t understand what junhui was trying to do here and on top of all that, he didn`t even let you speak before jumping onto answering the question for you.

you thought, maybe that`s what friends do. clearly, you were wrong in this.

“hahaha, sure, i mean why not―although i don`t know how much me cheering will help. i don`t even cheer, i just, like i said,” you huffed and leaned a bit to your side after turning your attention from mingyu`s child-like expression to junhui`s attentive ones, “i only sit and watch.”

junhui mirrors your act of leaning and replies.

“that`s very much enough.”

the line that forms on his lips gives his cheeks a lift. his eyes looks pure and yet with that built, you couldn`t really pinpoint what you should be feeling.

you didn`t know if you wanted to laugh or cry right at that moment. he was clearly copying mingyu right there but he added a little bit of his own spice in it.

you only nodded and smiled through the dilemma and made sure there`s nothing on your face that would give you how hot and bothered you were with just the presence of junhui infront of you.

“anyway,” gently pushing mingyu by his shoulders who was previously bending down to look at you face to face, “i need to get some dvds. so can i….look for them now?” raising your brows, you trail off looking at both of the boys as they nod and give you the space to choose.

but mingyu`s arm remained on your shoulder as you walked towards the shelf and junhui―he only moved away from his previous spot a bit. so now that you were standing in front of the shelf of dvds, you were stuck in-between two clearly much taller for their age boys.

sighing microscopically, you reached out your arm and pulled out a dvd of a sleeper-hit movie from decades ago―one of yours and your mother`s favorite.

“_____ you like this movie too?” junhui asks suddenly. his voice sounded slightly different this time. also, the sudden slip of your name from his mouth caught you by surprise for a moment. this was actually the first time he called you by your name if you could recall every interaction with him.

eventually, this particular moment resurfaces once in a while when junhui crosses your head sometimes.

“hmm, i do! you….” you reply.

“same, i do like it too―actually, it`s my mother`s favourite and―”

“mine too! it`s my mother`s favourite too!” you cut him off, declaring right away with an excitement in your tone with a sudden sense of familiarity very loud in the air between both of you.

junhui only blinks. his eyes a little bit wide and the smile which was now less smirk-like climbs on his mouth.

“ohhh junhui, both you & _____ have some similar taste, huh?” mingyu and his annoying self chirped in, which you obviously didn`t pay any heed to. you only replied with a “is that something very interesting to you?” but only in your head.

as if mingyu was about to reply, you turned around to look up at jun and let him continue clearly ignoring mingyu and his big mouth.

seeing how now your attention is all on him, junhui skipped the previous act of smile and giggled and if you could clearly remember it`s been a long time you`ve heard such a sweet giggle in a while.

“ah well i`ve watched it once with her when it was on television one day. i love the story of the leads and how even though they had to face all those hurdles, they didn`t falter in their discipline and way of life. it was…uplifting to me, i guess? staying grounded. loved that.”

“i understand. the feelings are mutual.”

this time the smile was genuine. you were glad that this time you weren`t nervous, that you could smile without stuttering through your thoughts although everything about junhui was distracting you. from his handsome built, his face to now having been discovered his soft giggle (it kept on replaying on your head for some unknown reason) and him, being this close to you right now wasn`t helping at all.

“that sounds very deep.” mingyu states. this time both you and junhui hum at the same time at him, not ignoring him.

“so did your mother tell you to rent it or….?” junhui asks.

“no, well, actually yes―both me and my mother thought of having a movie night. the dvd player at home is gathering only dust so we thought to have some good use of it.”

“oh so auntie must be making some good foods too, right?” this time mingyu joins in.

“ah yes, she `s making my favourite dish,” you spare him a glance before replying back.

“ah then what should i pick up…now that _____ has already picked up one from my bucket list today.”

junhui gifted you a look from the corner of his eyes while the well-known smirk adorned the corner of his mouth and he strolls across the makeshift corridor in-between the two large shelves softly drumming his fingertips on each of the spines of dvds placed in order.

“ah i`m sorry if you want you can keep it,” you brush off mingyu`s arm around your shoulder and walk a little bit towards junhui, “i can take some others, it`s not like this is the only one i needed anyway.”

the boy whom you just got to know spun on his heels with his arms now behind him crossed and he leans in to come closer to your face. a little bit closer and you could feel his breathe over you.

“same goes for me but _____what if we make a deal?”

“a deal?” you question him, curiosity hitting you from behind.

junhui hums.

“tell me about it.”

“what if you give me the dvd after you & auntie,” junhui looks at mingyu for a second, his eyes mischievous as he uses your friend`s addressing term for your mother and continues after placing his gaze upon you once again, “finish watching the movie and i pay for both of our rentals.” his focus on you remained until the end, or maybe a little bit after that. his eyes burned into you and you felt like you couldn`t run away from them, yet.

you were not going to lie but this proposal came like a shock. the giving of  the said dvd in question to junhui after you`ll be done with it wasn`t the main shocker at all―it was the fact that he was offering to pay for both his and yours rental for this dvd.

suddenly, you heard mingyu`s footsteps from behind you. junhui straightens his back and watches your friend coming close to you. he only shrugs when he looks down at you. you didn`t know what kind of expression mingyu wore but you wish it was nothing major.

“oi jun―” you close your eyes right then and exhale before turning around your body to face your friend but mingyu cut you off, although you don`t know if it was intentional or just simple coincidence, “are you hitting on ______? dude you just met her.”

there you go. that`s it. just what you were fearing.

clearly, his voice had a certain strain at the back of his throat but he covered it up with his playful voice. a voice which carried a laughter which could be both mockery or sound as fake as possible. you didn`t know if junhui noticed it but being grown up with mingyu since toddler days, you could make it out very well.

you put your palms on top the denim clad chest of your friend, calming down whatever you wanted to calm down.

at the same time, you only heard junhui chuckle behind you. you couldn`t make out if it was an evil one or a natural one but the smug on his face was evident in his voice.

“hey it`s fine.” you say, your voice wasn`t reaching the octave you intended.

“looks like big boy`s a little jealous that me & ____ are hitting it off as good friends already?”

“it`s not about being good friends….hitting on someone and being good friends is different.”

“i was just trying to put on a good impression on her, gyu.” junhui, this guy , he was clearly enjoying this. but if his intentions were good then you didn`t see any problem with it.

“i don`t mind that at all but just so you know, _____ isn`t someone who`ll sway that easily. she`s a tough nut to crack.”

you almost laughed at mingyu`s words―it looked as if he was speaking from experience but you just shook your head and turned around. both of your arms now raised up in the air stopping both boys from having a fight here solely because of you for some stupid reason.

“it`s okay, it`s all fine.”

you looked up at junhui and continued in a calm voice “thank you for the offer, junhui, but i`ll pay for my own rent or else my mother will question about it and i`m really not in a mood to explain such stuff to her and about giving the dvd to you―” you give him a soft smile and said further, “i`ll send it to you through mingyu considering you hang out with him these days, okay?”

you nod up at mingyu who was previously looking at junhui. but when he saw you were looking at him, he switched from his squinting eyes combined with a sour pout to a completely different expression, the kind he gives you as if it`s only reserved for you―typically a warm one.

mingyu closes his eyes for a second and nods.

“i hope we`re clear now?”

“i was just playing around, _____, don`t worry,” junhui raised both of his arms up as if surrendering and continued “there`s no bad intentions here.”

in junhui`s head he was obviously being a good person and so was mingyu. junhui walked over to mingyu and playfully circled his arms around your friend and puts his other hand on top of his chest rubbing it playfully.

you let out a small laugh and saw mingyu lowering his eyes to stare up at junhui through his lashes and rolled his eyes before elbowing his new buddy in his sternum. junhui only yelps letting out a wheeze.

and, with that the dvd rental shop got filled up to laughters yet again until the sudden intentional cough from the part-timer made both of these playful boys shush down with each of their forefingers on top of their individual lips.

rolling your eyes and shaking your head, you walked across the shelves and picked another two old classics and went to the counter to pay for the rents.

mingyu picked up a newly released movie he was looking forward to last spring and junhui picked out two recent but a little older movies.

after you were done with the payment and all, you were about to walk out of the shop and waved a goodbye to the boys who were still paying. mingyu ran a bit to the door to hold it for you.

but before the door would completely close on you, your eyes moved over at junhui who was still standing at the counter―he was waiting for the changes but his face was turned towards you and he was looking at you with a now unknown gaze. you couldn`t really make out what it was but for some reason it made you a little bit sad.

but before he could witness the curve of your mouth for him, he closed his eyes for a second and smiled at you. your eyes widen at this and instantly without knowing you smiled back at him fully.

and that was it.

that was the last time you met junhui at that close proximity. you had seen him at the basketball court, you had seen him at random street. some day or night your eyes have met with each other and sometimes they didn`t, but his smile had burned through the surface of mind. some time, at some random time, you`ll suddenly get a flash back of his smirk or that fleeting smile he gave you before you closed the door on both of your first meet.

also you knew that mingyu probably made sure junhui never gets to have any closure with you. there`s been couple of times when you`ve found jun across the corridors of the school, simply hanging around and before anything can happen mingyu had circled his arm around junhui dragging his focus away from you who`d just be passing by to deliver some copies of homework to the teacher`s rooms.

you didn`t question this.

afterall, mingyu himself was in a dilemma of sorting out his feelings for you. he would probably do anything until you accept him in your life as something more than just childhood friends but even junhui never made sure to take any attempt, other than casual glances.

well, that`s what you know. it not like you know everything that the future holds. maybe one day you`ll meet him again when mingyu`s not around and you both will have conversations that never happened or waited for the right moment to have anything grow out of the seeds sown in this new friendship.

but for now, it`s okay. maybe someone from another town will catch feelings for him better, it`s not like you`ve him bounded by some string of fate.

it`s okay wherever you stand now when it comes to your relationship with junhui.

fin. 

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 13 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Spencer finally meets Reader’s roommate while the two prepare for a picnic. After Spencer lectures Reader on the dangers of the outdoors, the two face a different kind of danger at the bank.

Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader 
 Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Gun violence mention Word Count: 6.3k

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

Although I’d been inside (Y/n)’s apartment several times now, I couldn’t say I’d ever actually looked much at my surroundings. It felt strange to admit that, mostly because I felt like I was doing something wrong; like I was a traitor to my job.

But then again, it felt worse to try to profile her. The few times I had made it obvious, she had made it very clear it was unappreciated. I could understand why.

So, before we even got to her door, I tried to quiet the voices screaming in my head, telling me to look for clues to all the unknowns about her. It wasn’t because I was expecting her to be hiding anything; I just wanted to know everything about her.

I could simply wait for her to tell me, though. We had all the time in the world, right?

“Laura, I’m home!” She called out immediately after breaching the entrance, following the exclamation with a very hurried request. “Spencer is here so please don’t be weird!”

The response was a calm, steady series of footfalls down the hall. The girl stuck her head around the corner, peeking at the two of us with a devilish grin.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, Dr. Reid.”

I told myself I probably shouldn’t be this nervous. If she was friends with (y/n), she was most likely a decent person. But let’s just say women around that age had never been particularly kind to me. They brought to the surface a lot of memories I’d tried very hard to bury.

She didn’t put her hand out to shake, which told me they’d already probably talked about me more than I’d have liked. ‘Wait,’ I thought to myself, ‘Is it okay to profile her roommate?’

“I’m going to go get a basket together. Wait in the living room, my kitchen is a disaster.”

Before I could argue, she had already disappeared, leaving me stranded in the hallway with her roommate who looked ready to cause trouble. I just hoped it wouldn’t the kind that revolved around me.

She waved a hand in front of her, motioning for me to make my way into the living room. Once we were there, she immediately took a seat, but I remained standing. Felt better to be able to escape.

The silence was awkward and suffocating. I could feel her staring at me, but she wasn’t saying anything. It felt wrong to look back.

“She says you read people for a living.” Her voice had a hint of skepticism in it I’d grown used to. “Sounds kind of like what psychics say.”

“Yeah, we use a lot of the same strategies, too. They just aren’t as honest about it as we are.”

“What do you see here?”

That was what got me to turn around and face her. She looked so comfortable, curled up on the couch.

“Pardon me?” The question caught me off guard, even though it shouldn’t have. I’d heard it so many times.

“What does our apartment say about us?” She asked, clearly not understanding why it was an inappropriate thing to ask. Or more likely, just didn’t care. Curiosity is a powerful thing.

I cleared my throat before looking back away and saying, “I agreed not to profile (y/n).”

“Well, can you at least tell which stuff is hers?”

I’m sure she was just checking to see if I was legitimate or just scamming her. Maybe she was checking to see if I was too good at it.

She didn’t need to worry. (Y/n) could handle herself. She wasn’t tricked easily. In fact, most of my intrigue and concern surrounding her unknowns was just how good she was at hiding things.

It wasn’t until I had registered that question and was staring at her walls with a newfound sense of purpose, that I realized how little I knew about her past. Then again, I don’t really care about her past.

It had made her who she was today, and that was the woman I loved.

My fingers brushed over old, cracked plastic on DVD cases displayed on a shelf beside the console center.

I didn’t even notice I was smiling at first, realizing that she’d kept the physical cases despite all the streaming services. She clearly still used the discs, too.

“These... are hers.”

“How can you tell?” The response in the form of a question told me I was right, and only made me feel even more deeply. Despite my greatest efforts to not look so excited by something so silly, I turned back around with my lips still curled in an awkward smile.

“Educated guess. Adrenaline.”

“What?” The confusion in her voice reminded me that she wasn’t aware of one of my deepest personality flaws.

“Research shows that only about 10% of the population are so called ‘adrenaline junkies,’ people who enjoy roller coasters and horror movies. It’s more often men than women, but it’s hard to tell because of the way we’re socialized.”

If I had turned around to face her, I probably would have seen the dead stare she was giving me during my rant.

“Regardless, people tend to either love horror or hate it. So, I considered the fact that (y/n) seems to enjoy things like... sneaking into bars with fake IDs and… other risky behavior.”

Well, that was close.

“But what really gave it away was the fact they’re not dusty, which means they’re still being used despite all of these movies being available on streaming services I know for a fact she uses. Considering how patient she is with my own Luddite tendencies I just figur—“

“Wow.”

The word cut off my train of thought, and I realized that I had barely breathed since I’d started. Wincing in response to the dumbfounded look on the poor girl’s face, I gave a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“A little bit,” she said with her own little pity laugh. I’m sure (y/n) had told her enough about me that this wasn’t that big of a surprise.

“I do that when I’m nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous,” she said like it was the easiest advice in the world, “You’re right about her, you know.”

Staring down at my feet, I wondered why the confirmation from her roommate meant so much to me. I hadn’t been actively trying to figure out things about my girlfriend — it felt wrong. But for whatever reason, knowing I had the ability to figure it out meant more when it was about her.

Laura laughed again, craning her neck to look around the corner before she quietly spoke. “She says it was the other way around, but she’s the one who convinced me to streak the lawn.”

Ah, the age-old tradition of UVA students. It was so easy to picture her stripping down to nothing in the dead of the night to prance down the length of manicured grass. My own personal little pixie.

If it was just an attempt to calm my nerves, it was working. Putting the focus back on (y/n) was a surefire way to bring out the best in me. She just had that effect on me.

“I am entirely unsurprised by this information,” I said before walking over to the other side of the room, noting the distinct lack of pictures of family among the shelves that clearly belonged to her.

Don’t read into it, I told myself, she might just keep them somewhere else.

“She also drank an entire water bottle of vodka during a full day of classes one time, just because I bet that she wouldn’t.”

I scoffed at the image of her drunk. It’d been a while since I’d seen her like that, and both times had been remarkably unique. She’s a dead giveaway; I was surprised she hadn’t been caught.

“I can’t say I relate to that,” I sadly admitted. Sometimes it was hard to realize that if I’d known her at the same age, we probably wouldn’t have gotten along. I used to hate people like that.

Granted, they had usually also hated me.  

“She did mention you were a genius or something. I kind of figured. That’s her type.”

Well, that was information I couldn’t just gloss over. I furrowed my brow with a disbelieving smile, finally looking at the girl who was avidly watching my every move.

“Is it? I always pictured her with someone with more… Kinaesthetic intelligence.”

She gave me that look people give me when I said something weird, but continued nonetheless, “I don’t really know what that means, but she takes school pretty seriously. Honestly, probably a little too much. Part of why I dared her.”

“It’s strange to imagine her in class.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but once it was out there, I couldn’t take it back. And I was glad I couldn’t, because I was very curious about the answer.

“She’s the girl who knows all the answers and shuts down all the stupid guys trying to talk over her.”

I knew that those behaviors weren’t exactly favored in classrooms, having myself been the one at the brunt end of the bullying that followed.

“It’s pretty impressive.” She was being genuine when she spoke, and I was inclined to agree. At the same time the thought crossed my mind, I found a picture of her perched on the lap of the Thomas Jefferson statute.

God, I loved that girl.

“I bet she is.”

Almost on call, (y/n) poked her head into the room with wary eyes, looking at me as I awkwardly waved before looking back to her roommate.

“Laura, are you being weird?”

The girl rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned to me like it was my question to answer. Afraid to spoil any tenuous, newly formed loyalties, I shook my head no.

“Okay…” She only barely accepted my answer, “But if you say some dumb shit and get arrested, I’m not bailing you out.”

Briefly sticking out her tongue as she walked past me, she continued on her way. I couldn’t help but give that lovestruck, idiotic grin I always gave when she was around. If you’d told me I would’ve ever felt like this about someone who felt the same about me, I wouldn’t have believed you. Part of me still didn’t believe she could ever love me the same as I loved her.

Turning back to the girl cringing at the blatant intimacy shared in a simple glance, I immediately became awkward again.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t bring my handcuffs.” I joked, showing my hands in a strange display of innocence.

She… took a different approach.

“I know for a fact she has a few pairs in her room if you need one.”

A high-pitched whine nearly escaped my throat at the casual mention, and I cleared my throat and turned to look at her with a very unconvincing laugh. “W-what?”

“You have to know it’s impossible for her to keep her sex life a secret,” she droned with a bored expression, “I live one room over.”

“Right,” I nodded.

There was an extended, never ending silence as she just let me stew in my own discomfort. It didn’t seem to bother her one bit, because the longer I avoided her eyes the more she seemed to smile.

“I’m uncomfortable.” I finally admitted, and she just shook her head, running her hand through her hair before giving me one final hard look.

“You’re sweet. You make her happy. I appreciate that.”

My mouth scrunched in a humble half-smile, my hands finding their way back into my pockets as I tried to consider the reality I’d found myself in. Of all the infinite possibilities, I got to exist in the version of the world where I loved a girl who loved me back.

“It’s all her,” I finally said with a voice that crackled far too much for my liking, “I don’t do anything. I’m just the lucky one she decides to keep around.”

Laura flashed an approving grin, but then got up when she heard the familiar, happy feet beating down the hallway. (Y/n) burst out from around the corner, her arms full with a picnic basket and a blanket she clearly owned for just these occasions.

“Ready to go, babe?”

“Lead the way.”

I’d have followed her anywhere.

—————————————————

It was the perfect time of year for a picnic, despite Spencer’s insistence that there was no such thing. Once we were in the park, his whining dramatically decreased. Maybe it was the sunshine, or maybe it was the smile on my face, but he was certainly in brighter spirits.

He even let me rest my head on his lap, his legs crossed underneath me while he alternated between staring off at the trees slowly losing their color to autumn and my quiet contentment as I nibbled on an assortment of fruits.

There was no awkward silence or hidden darkness in this day, and even the sweetest strawberry couldn’t be more refreshing. To be here with Spencer, soaking in the late Summer sun, was all I could ever ask for.

But I was also eager to take advantage of the uncharacteristic softness between us. It wasn’t often we could share moments like this. Between his job and all our problems over the past few months, I wasn’t sure when we could be like this again.

“Let’s talk about something fun.” I blurted out, earning an intrigued look from my boyfriend. He readjusted his position, leaning back on his hands so he could look down at me easier.

“Okay, like what?”

“Don’t make fun of me…” The way he was looking at me gave me no hope he would actually listen to me, but I continued anyway, “I have conversation starters I looked up.”

He snorted while trying to suppress his chuckle. “Of course you do.”

Dropping my mouth open, I reached up to lightly smack him on the face for immediately doing exactly what I had asked him not to.

“What? Like you’re the epitome of sociable, Dr. Reid?”

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to stop the laughter that kept bubbling in his chest over something that was decidedly not that funny at all. We were just that stupid kind of happy where everything was wonderful.

“I’m just not surprised!” He reminded, then nodded for me to continue, “Go on, tell me one.”

“Tell me something you’re scared of.” I shot back, excited to hear the answer.

“The dark.” It was the most anticlimactic, stereotypical answer I could have imagined. It was my turn to scoff now, hardly believing the answer to be real.

“Seriously? You’re an FBI Agent, Spencer.”

“You told me not to make fun of you, but then you make fun of me? Unfair. I didn’t sign up for this scrutiny.” His legs started to move under me as he pretended like he was about to dump me from his lap and leave me here.

“Fine!” I shouted, reaching my hands up to grab his face. Although they fumbled awkwardly from my strange position, he took the time to lean to the side and kiss my palm lightly. “Favorite memory of the two of us.”

He blew out a long breath, his eyes squinted like they always did when he was in deep contemplation. But something told me something actually jumped straight to his mind, but he was holding it back for some other reason.

“That’s not fair. There are too many.”

I wasn’t falling for it. I flicked his nose before pulling my hand back, smiling at the way he jerked away like it actually hurt him. Giant baby.

“No cop out answers, old man. Favorite one!”

Spencer just sighed, letting his head fall back as he actually thought about what he was about to say for once in his life. I took the brief moment without his scrutiny to reflect on just how lucky I was to be able to see him like this.

“Okay. So, remember when we went to the bakery in Downtown?” He asked like I could have forgotten.

“Pauls? Yes, I remember.”

They’re legends in the area, but a total pain to try and get. You have to get there first thing in the morning and wait in a ridiculous line. But they were always worth it. Spencer had told me he’d never been, and I just couldn’t let such an injustice stand.

“While we were waiting in that ridiculous line, I remember looking at you and just seeing how excited you were for a donut, even at 7 in the morning.”

“That’s objectively the best time for a donut.” I interrupted with the most matter-of-fact tone I could emulate.

“Right,” he laughed, recalling how I kept reminding him of that fact while in line, “Well, we got to the front and before I could even talk, you had already ordered one for me.”

It took me a second to remember exactly what had happened. So much had happened since then, the memories were becoming muddled in my mind. But once I did remember, I smiled.

“Chocolate frosted with sprinkles. For the child in us all.”

“That’s it.” His voice had gotten soft so quickly, his hand brushing over my cheek while he played with the strands of hair blowing back over my face. “That’s my favorite memory.”

If I didn’t make a joke of it soon, I was scared my heart would burst.

“Really? That’s your favorite memory? Of all things?” I asked with a playful grin, clasping both of my hands around his and holding it against my chest.

“Yes.” For a man of so many words, it meant so much more when he spoke so little. You could feel the truth in the way the sound hit your ears.

Even as I bit on the inside of my cheeks to withhold my excited giggle, he was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Spencer, that’s so lame.”

In that way he always did, he so charmingly replied, “How fitting for us.”

“Rude,” I muttered, finally finding the strength to sit up from my position on his lap. The world only spun for a second as I reoriented myself. He seemed equally grateful, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“What else do you want to make fun of me for?” Spencer said with a smile, watching as I reached into the small basket and pulled out a small clementine. I ran through the questions in my head, trying to decide which one to spend our limited time on.

“Okay,” I decided, “What did you think the first time you saw me?”

His face scrunched up with the leftover embarrassment from our very first meeting, during which the first thing he had ever done to me was lie. It had been a flattering one, though.

As I popped a section of the small citrus fruit into my mouth, I noticed the way he licked his own lips. The sight caused butterflies to flurry in my stomach, and I wondered which was more appealing to him; the mouthwatering scent of oranges or the idea of slipping something else between my lips.

“I thought... that you were beautiful and intriguing. And I was right.”

I got my answer to my preceding thought, because he had quickly wrapped his hand around the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss with crushing force. For someone who wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection, he certainly didn’t mind kissing me like this.

Despite how deep and hard it was, it ended far too quickly. I sucked on my bottom lip as he left, staring up at him with wonder and devoted attention.

“Why was I intriguing?”

He clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead, probably hoping that the kiss alone would distract me from asking any more questions about that night. Unable to get out of it now, though, he just shrugged with a nervous chuckle, “You... were looking at me?”

My laugh, on the other hand, was full bodied as I pushed him away from me with just enough force that he actually almost toppled over.

“That was it? Because I looked at you?”

It seemed so silly, but I could tell by the way he responded that he meant it. He had told me before, on that night actually, that he wasn’t used to women showing him attention. But surely, he must just be missing it. He was an amazing man.

“I don’t know. There’s just something about you.” He paused between his words, taking a deep breath before attempting to work through his thoughts, “Like... like things just revolve around you. You have this intense gravitational pull that just told me that I had to get closer to you or I wouldn’t be able to survive.”

Fighting back the blush quickly forming on my cheeks, I struggled to maintain my typical aloof nature. I couldn’t have him getting a swelled head just because he could string together a couple cute sentences.

“Are you calling me a star, Dr. Reid?”

“I guess I am, yeah.” He hit me back with that confidence he rarely displayed outside of our play. I loved to see it like this. It made me feel like I was actually with him, rather than any manicured person he’d created to suit the needs of the current situation.

“If you felt that strongly about it, then why lie and say you weren’t checking me out? I could’ve left, you know.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Yeah, but I thought about it.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. There had been a couple of times during that night that I almost cut my losses—admitted that we were just too different to ever be compatible. Thank god I’d ignored that flawed instinct.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you. Have you looked at your boyfriend? I’m so weird.”

The ease with which he flouted his eccentricities brought a smile to my face, and I shook my head as I tried to fight back in his defense. “You’re not that weird.”

“Are you joking? Look at yourself. You’re—You’re normalcy personified! No, actually, you’re not even that. You’re this... beautiful, smart, talented young girl and I’m just an old man who’s hoping to keep you around long enough that you forget you have better options out there.”

The longer he spoke, the more my jaw dropped open. Eventually, I had devolved into a fit of laughter.

“Dr. Reid, you can’t seriously be telling me that you think I am out of your league!”

“I mean—!” he started, but I wasn’t going to allow him to even entertain the thought. I clapped my hand over his mouth, nearly climbing onto his lap to hush any noises he attempted to make.

“No way!” I shouted, “Shut up!”

Instead of trying to wrench my hand away, his hands came to rest on my hips. I could feel the smile spreading across his cheeks under my fingers.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Spencer. Fucking FBI Agent with three PhDs. Get out of here.”

He began bouncing his leg under me, and when I looked down to see what he was doing, I was shocked to feel a wetness on my palm. Ripping my hand away, I looked at my hand to see the swipe of saliva over the skin.

“Did you just fucking lick me?!” I screeched, unable to comprehend what had just happened, staring at my boyfriend with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I touched the ground with this hand! What are you doing?!”

“Yeah, I’m definitely going to rinse my mouth with bleach when we get home. But it was worth it, to see that look on your face.”

He went to wipe his own face, but I still couldn’t get over the fact my hand was fucking wet. So I took my hand once more, wiping the residue of his own spit back over his cheek. Surprisingly, he just let me do it, laughing as he only slightly tilted his head back.

“Nasty old pervert,” I joked, rolling my body off him and sitting on own once more.

“You’re very mean when you’re nice to me.” Spencer pouted.

I was distracted, trying to get my hair to stay out of my face and mouth as the wind started to whip through the park. Still, I managed to say a few very important words of warning.

“Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.”

Taking pity on my obvious distress, he reached out to grab my arm, tugging me back over to him. “Come here, little girl.” he instructed while I crawled over on all fours to sit between his legs.

I was going to ask him what he was planning when I felt his hands begin threading through my hair. I sat patiently, recognizing the pattern he was weaving.

“... When did you learn how to braid hair? Did your mom teach you?”

“My mom has short hair.” It was an evasive, but truthful answer, so I didn’t press it. I was sure I would find out more about his family as time went on. I just had to keep reminding myself that we had all the time in the world to get to know each other.

“I never learned how to braid hair specifically. I’m just applying the same pattern I would with a knot or a puzzle.”

“How romantic.” I gasped, tucking my hands between my legs as I enjoyed the way it felt for him to play with my hair.

It was always bizarre, to consider the way he could be so soft in moments like this. Or rather, that he could be so far the opposite at other times. In my heart, he was always the kind, goofy man I had met that night at the bar.

But I’d seen him angry, depressed, and in pain. I’d seen him desperate and scared. Basically, the only way I hadn’t seen Spencer Reid was however he was at work. Part of me wished that I could; it was obvious he was good at it and, to a certain degree, enjoyed it.

Then again, when I know he does things like get shot at, it makes it a little bit harder to be interested in. I couldn’t imagine getting that phone call one day while they loaded him into the back of an ambulance... or worse.

“Ah, the things I do for love.” His calm, smooth voice tore me from the destructive thoughts and back into his warm embrace.

“Hey, Spencer, I have a serious question.”

“Well, that’s terrifying.” He joked, holding out his hand for my hair tie, which I happily gave him. I hated to admit that he did a better job at braiding my hair than I’d ever done. Freaking stupid genius stuff.

“When do I get to say it back?”

I swear, I felt a chill spread through the air between us. His entire body froze, his hands stuck mixed with the elastic as he tied off the braid.

It was an intense, unwelcome flashback to the second night I’d spent with him, when we had talked about things too serious, too soon.

Terrified, I immediately cut off anything he might have been able to say, muttering, “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

Letting my hair slip from his fingers, he let his hand drag along my spine. I wished I could see the look on his face, but I didn’t dare turn around.

“I’m sorry.” He said after another moment of silence, and it physically pained me the way the words fell from his lips.

“Don’t apologize,” I said in the cheeriest tone possible, trying to lighten the mood, “I just wanted to test the waters.”

With that, I spun around dramatically, noting the way his face lit up once it saw the smile on my own. “And they are frozen solid!”

He laughed at the enthusiasm I displayed, swiftly throwing his arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Well, I’ll just have to warm you up, then.” My whole body in his arms, he yanked me off the ground and onto himself. I struggled playfully under his arms, not paying any attention to the other people in the park watching our childish antics.

“Hypothermia is very dangerous, after all,” he lectured, “Let me take your temperature.” Burying his face in my neck, I felt the familiar overstimulation that accompanied frantic, light touches of my sides.

“Stop!” I burst with laughter, “You’re tickling me!”

The movements all halted, but only to be followed with a terrifyingly devious tone of Spencer’s voice. “You’re ticklish?”

“Don’t you dare—”

“Oh, I love this information.” And just like that, he began his onslaught. His fingers danced over every inch of my sides, his lips pressing quick, frenzied kisses against the underside of my chin. The harder I laughed, the more he continued.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” I screeched like a banshee, trying to slip from his hands or turn around—anything to get the upper hand again.

After nearly wrestling him, I managed to get both hands on his shoulders and shove him back against the blanket. The force with which we hit the ground knocked the air from his lungs, and he groaned at my body weight on his chest.

“Okay, okay! You win!” He yelled, holding his hands in front of me while struggling not to touch the ground with his head. “I’m not risking more surface area of contact with the ground to fight you.”

“(Y/n) emerges victorious!” I grabbed hold of both of his hands, shaking his arms with all my leftover adrenaline while I cheered myself on.

“Dork,” he muttered under his breath before he grabbed my sides, laughing at the way I instinctually jerked. I threw myself off of him to avoid the potential tickles, landing clumsily next to him. And Spencer, being the genius, recognized it as the perfect opportunity to pin me against the ground.

Wasting no time, he pressed the same instruments which had begun the great tickle war against my own lips. My hands found their way to his cheeks, pulling him closer as his tongue easily found mine. Just like it always did with us, it felt like the world was disappearing around us.

All I could feel, smell, taste, think, was Spencer Reid. His love and admiration flowed from him with ease, and I was happy to take it in. After a few minutes, we had to break apart. We might like a little bit of exhibitionism, but I was pretty sure neither of us actually wanted to tear the other’s clothes off in a park.

Could you imagine if people knew he was an FBI Agent? I was sure they already thought our age gap strange. But I didn’t care what they thought. Because right now, we were happy.

“I’m the dork you love, though.” I whispered against his lips.

“Indubitably,” he mumbled back, starting to laugh at the way the word sounded in our teenage love-like delirium.

“Now who’s the dork.” I teased as I smoothed my hands over his shoulders.

“Hm. Still you. And a little bit me, too.”

Laughter was bursting from me again.

“You have grass in your hair, idiot.” Before he could do anything about it, my hands were all over it, ruffling his hair wildly out of place. He just squeezed his eyes shut, letting me ruin any semblance of maturity or control from his appearance.

“Wow. Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.” I chirped, accepting the small peck he gave me before he started to retreat from his spot above me.

“You ready to head home?”

“Yeah, just about,” he sighed like it was a terrible thing to do. He hadn’t even wanted to come on this picnic!

“I promised to check you for ticks, after all.”

Ah, the real thing we were both looking forward to. Although, I was sure he was going to take it way too seriously for a few minutes before we devolve into sex on the bathroom floor.

“Mmm. I’m thrilled.” I replied honestly, struggling to sit up now that my body had already slipped into Spencer Reid is on Top of You mode. It was one of those rare moments when I wondered if there really was a female version of blue balls, because I was almost certain I had it.

“I have to stop at the bank first, though. I’ll go throw this stuff in the car and we can just walk over.”

“Sure thing, old man.” I huffed as I stood up, holding the much lighter basket while he collected the blanket. Once he took it all from me, I glanced over at the nearby bench with a pout.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“You’re cute,” he smiled, kissing my cheek like it were a more serious goodbye, “I’ll be right back.”

While I waited for him, I cautiously watched the large, dark clouds rolling over the horizon. They threatened to swallow the sunshine that we’d basked in less than hour before. I tried not to think anything of it.

It wasn’t a metaphor; it wasn’t an omen. It was just the weather.

Spencer must have seen the anxiety, because when he came back, he gingerly placed his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my chin.

“I guess we have good timing. It looks like it’s about to storm.” I absently spoke, my eyes still fixed on the sky.

“Yeah, typical finicky Virginia weather, I guess.”

I wasn’t sure if I actually heard it in his voice or made it up, but I swore Spencer was also trying to stop himself from thinking something of the rain. I was probably just being paranoid. It was just a storm. They happened.

“Well, let’s get going so you can cash your check in person like an eighty year old man.” I joked, grabbing his hand and dragging him back towards the exit to the park.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration. There are other people my age who don’t trust cell phone banking transactions.”

“Are there, though?”

He just shook his head, deciding it wasn’t worth it to get into it with me. Typical young kids, he must have thought, so irresponsible. But he didn’t say it, just held my hand on the short, quiet walk to the ornate building on the corner of two busy streets.

I swung our hands dramatically back and forth, earning an unamused, but still playful, glare from him.

“Your age is showing,” he pointed out before licking his lips and avoiding my eyes. I glared right back before responding, “Your stick-in-the-mud-ness is showing.”

“Not a word. Not a phrase. Not a thing.”

He stopped our hands dead in their tracks as he crossed the threshold, and for a second, I thought he was going to seriously be a spoilsport. But right when I least expected it, he swung our hands again and I nearly smacked into another person.

We both laughed, with me blurting out a frantic, “I’m sorry!”

“So immature,” he chastised, shaking his head with disapproval.

“I can’t believe you. You are such an asshole!”  

The familiar hum and beeping of the metal detectors threatened to dislodge memories from the back of my mind, and I shook my head to try to get rid of them again. Spencer glanced over with concern but didn’t mention it.

I was grateful. I didn’t want to talk about it. Once we had passed security, he settled into the line like he’d done it a million times before. But me, being a normal person who used my banking app to cash checks, felt strangely out of place.

Figuring it might be a minute, and that the ride home would be significantly longer, I decided to go get any residual dirt and grass out of my hair. After all, it would get in the way of our tick searching activities.

“Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere.” I pointed an accusing finger at him as my arm slipped from around his. His hand followed me until he couldn’t hold on any longer, an innocent, lovesick smile on his face.

“You know I could never leave you behind.”

As cheesy as it was, it still made me smile. My heart ached with the saccharine sweetness of his affections. I’d gotten so used to them so fast; I couldn’t even imagine a world without them anymore.

“Don’t miss me too much, Dr. Reid.”

“You know I will, little girl.”

That storm cloud feeling was brewing in my chest again as I pressed a kiss to my fingers, blowing it across the ever-growing distance between us. Why did he feel so far away so suddenly?

I tried not to pay it any mind, humming You Are My Sunshine and imagining Spencer’s terrible singing voice instead. Looking at my reflection, I realized why my cheeks had been getting sore. Because there, staring back at me, was a smile on a neutral face.

I don’t even know when it happened, but it hit me in that bathroom of a bank at 12:47pm on a Saturday that I had fallen madly in love with Spencer Reid. And it suddenly made sense, why he didn’t want me to say it yet. Because I hadn’t realized it yet.

But now I had, and it filled every cell in my body. The blush on my cheeks was evidence of just how much I needed to let it out, to scream it from the rooftops, or at least in the lobby of this old bank.

There were so few things that could overwhelm the emotions I was feeling and rob me of this moment. My brain rioted against any sign of darkness or despair, clinging to the hope that I would be able to tell him soon.

So, when explosive booms rang through the bank, for a long second, I tried to convince myself they were thunder.

But they weren’t. The storm had indeed come, but it wasn’t responsible for the sounds that caused my heart to tear in two and shatter against the floor. The people outside the room were not screaming at the wrath of God, displayed with lightwork in the sky.

It was not thunder.

They were gunshots.

 —————————————————

| Part 14 |

[thiswasinevitableid]

Hii uhhh this is for mermay, but it's not one of the fills so please feel free to ignore this if it doesn't catch your interest!!

Idea;; within a mostly-canon setting, Duck is turned into a merperson (probably while they're trying to deal with one of the abominations, but that part's flexible) and has to deal with it while still trying to like,, function. He gets a magic disguise, but hijinks ensue.

Here you go! I attached this to "Summer rain" and another mermay prompt. It's SFW

The last time he went flying through the air and into the water while fighting an abomination, he almost died. So he’s none too pleased when he surfaces from being chucked in Lake Brahe.

“What the fuck Indrid?!”

“I’m so sorry” Mothman flaps above him, both sets of hands tapping together anxiously, “I promise this is for the best but I’ll admit the exact process might have been overkill.”

“You fuckin’ think??” Duck kicks towards shore, grabbing his hat as it tries to float away, “the others are still back there with that thing. And I fuckin hate bein’ chucked into things without warnin.”

“I don’t think there are people who do enjoy such things.” Indrid alights on the shore Duck is swimming towards.

“Well then don’t fuckin do them.”

“It is for your own good, Duck Newton.”

“Yeah, heard that one before.” He hits shallow water, wades to shore trying to shake his hat dry, “now c’mon, fly me back so we can-”

His legs crumple, sending him face first into the lake. Crawling is no good, his whole body contorting and shaking, his throat and lungs burning. He claws at the pebbles and sand, coming away with fistfuls, grabbing for something, anything, to pull him from the water, as if reaching shore will free him from the pain wracking his body.

The world is coming in photo negative now, flashes of color that don’t make sense, the crack of his bones filling his ears. He might he crying, the pain is too deep to tell what else he’s feeling or doing.

“Help” he rasps into the night air.

Human hands cup his face, guide his aching head down across bony legs, “It will not last much longer.”

“Am” he gasps, feels the Sylph turn their bodies for some unknown purpose, breathing easier after he does, “am I gonna die.”

“No. And before you ask, your powers would not have done much for you if you still had them.”

“Fuck” he whimpers.

“Agreed.” Indrid strokes his hair, “five more seconds. Four, three, two, one.”

Duck passes out before Indrid can say anything else. He’s roused by the footfalls of combat boots and wingtips down the beach.

“Duck, Indrid-OH HOLY SHIT!”

“He’s not-”

“No, Ned, he is very much alive. Had I not moved him when I did, he would have suffocated before you could get him to any water.”

“Thank god.” Ned must be by his head.

“Aubrey, can, can you, it hurts-”

“Ummmmm” His friend sounds like she’s trying to come up with a comforting explanation, “which part of your tail hurts?”

Duck sits bolt upright, then falls back into Indrid’s arms, staring at the deep green and silver tail where his legs should be.

“Well….fuck.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

“How are you doing?” Indrid, red glasses glinting and pink and yellow sweater hanging off his tall frame, perches on a rock.

“Great. I’m a regular, breakable dipshit who turned into a fuckin merman without warnin, I had to have Barclay call work and tell ‘em I got a flu so they won’t fire me for disppearin, anything my friends bring me to eat gets soggy, and I ain’t seen my cat in three days.”

“So...not good then?”

Duck raises an eyebrow. Indrid smiles, not his usual confident, casual one. He looks unsure, which is in and of itself kind of unnerving.

“No, Indrid. Not good at all.”

“Ah. Apologies, I sometimes have trouble parsing certain tones.”

Duck swims closer, “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright. You have every reason to be angry and upset. Even with me.”

“Pretty sure you didn’t curse me.”

“No. But had I moved faster, gotten to you all sooner, you would not have been in it’s path at all.”

It’s so matter of fact. The same way Indrid talks about anything troubling.

“Certainly my most newsworthy failure”

“Had you not arrived at the cottonwood, it would have been rather bad for me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about the eye. It hurt, but I have felt far worse.”

“And I have yet more bad news; while I can make a charm that will allow you to be in your human form for up to six hours at a time, the properties of that abomination mean eventually you’ll have to return to water.”

There’s a flicker in the smile, so swift Duck wonders if it’s only because his eyes are no longer human, slit pupiled instead of round, that he sees it at all. Or if it’s because this is the first time they haven’t been surrounded by heat, noise, or danger.

“Indrid, you know I don’t blame you, right?”

“Of course, Duck. I was merely being thorough in my apology.” Now it’s his normal, wide smile, but too tight across his teeth.

“He was before my time.” Vincent grins as he sets the DVDs on a well-dusted shelf, “though if Woodbridge is anything like he is now, I doubt they got along. The other ministers say he was...determined when he left. Like he could conquer any challenge earth presented during his quest."

Indrid’s glasses slip down his nose and he pushes them up before Duck gets even a glance at his eyes, “Now, where did I put that pin…” He pats his pockets, freezes when Duck manages to set a hand on his shin.

“Indrid, I mean it. Didn’t blame you then, don’t blame you now. Hell, from the sound of it you saved my ass, big time. So, uh, what I’m tryin to say is thanks. For lookin out for me.”

He squeezes in what he hopes is a friendly fashion. Indrid chirps, once, face losing all trace of eeriness. Then he schools it back to normal.

“You’re welcome. Punching aside, I’m quite fond of you. I’m going to use this for your charm, if that’s alright.” A souvenir pin from the Monongahela's tenth anniversary sits between slender fingers.

“Holy shit, I been lookin for that for ages. I, uh, I try to-”

“Collect them, yes. I saw that in a conversation between you and Juno. I was going to give this to you anyway, goodness knows it took awhile to find it in the trailer, but now it can serve a greater purpose.” With that, he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Duck’s image unfolds before them, Indrid smoothing it out and setting it on the rock as he begins working. Duck watches with interest, notices the process is much slower than it was when Indrid disguised Billy.

“Am I harder to get right than Ryan Gosling?”

“Yes. Well, not technically, no, but with Billy I just needed him to look human. I need you to look like, well, you. Such a fine specimen requires the utmost care.”

Duck’s about to toss back his usual line he gives to guys who compliment him, then realizes flirting with the Mothman might be weird, or that Indrid may not have meant it as anything more than some clinical, Sylph observation of humans. He tries to distract himself by swimming, but his tail still won’t do what he wants much of the time.

“You’ll have greater success on your back.” Indrid says without looking up.

He’s right, and Duck manages to swim without difficulty, tail shimmering in the sunset. The one time he glances at his friend, Indrid is staring at swaying and rippling in the water.

When the Sylph finally calls that he’s done, Duck speeds to the rock, let’s Indrid pin the charm to the collar of his undershirt that he keeps wearing because he’s still a human, dammit, just one with an inconvenient tail and he’s not gonna start skinny-dipping in a national forest. Again.

Duck flails when legs replace his tail, Indrid’s hand grabbing his a moment before he needs it to and helping him onto dry land.

“Satisfactory?”

“It’s fuckin perfect!”

“Wonderful!” Indrid claps his hands together, “what would you like to do? I may need to escort you for the first day, to be certain there’s no flaw in the charm.”

Duck studies the pink light tracing the angles of Indrid’s face, “Wanna meet my cat? She looks like a bobcat that lost a bar fight, but she’s sweet as can be.”

Indrid’s grin turns genuine for the first time all day, “I would like nothing better.”

The mothman becomes a staple of his life after that. With the charm, he’s able to help the Pine Guard track and slay the abomination, go to work, look after his house, and generally convince anyone not in the know that he’s totally fine. But he has to return to the lake every day, spends his mornings and nights there, even his lunch breaks when he knows he needs to give the charm a break then. It’s far enough away that he’s in no danger of being seen by civilians, but at least once Indrid had to fly him to it before they ran out of time (and Aubrey had to teleport them there, which made him nauseous).

Indrid keeps him company, sometimes with the others and sometimes on his own. He finds waterproof cards and games, listens to Duck talk about work and tells him about his travels. At first he worries Indrid is only doing it out of guilt, but as the weeks go by he comes to see that Indrid likes him. He laughs at his jokes, gives him as close to his full attention as he can, even scratches his scales with his mothed-out claws when they start driving Duck crazy with itchiness.

His friend always goes home to sleep, which is why, as Duck is drifting on his back, half snoozing and half star-gazing, the red eyes high in a tree come as a surprise. He’s on the other end of the lake, doesn’t seem to see Duck as he spreads his wings and flaps into the air. Then he nosedives, pulling up before he hits the water and then skimming across it in broad strokes. He shoots upward, spins, and then repeats the routine.

Duck’s seen him fly during fights and to escape the Cottonwood. Never like this, never so free and graceful. It’s such a joyful sight, makes Duck wish he had wings of his own so he could join him, dance across the stars and their reflections.

He swims towards Indrid, begins mirroring him on a whim, twisting, diving, and leaping as best he can in time with the cryptids flight. Pushes his tail to carry him faster, farther, all for the sake of keeping pace with the beautiful monster in the sky.

Surfacing after a particularly giant splash, a voice lilts down from the sky.

“Race you to the other side.”

Duck loses, but only just, cackles when Indrid buzzes him so closely he can feel the tickle of his feathers. When the mothman finally lands Duck swims to him, scooting up on land so he can watch Indrid fluff and clean his feathers.

“I come to this lake to practice flying without fear of being seen. I assumed you were asleep but, ah” his antenna twitch, “I’m glad you weren’t.”

Duck stretches, moans happily when Indrid gently glides his claws up his tail, “Me too.”

“Same time tomorrow night?” Soft hope flutters between them.

“Yeah.” He grins up at the cryptid, “bring your A-game, I’m gonna carb load tomorrow mornin so I can kick your butt.”

“I look forward to it.”

----------------------------------------------------

It’s been a month and a half since he transformed, which puts them smack in summer thunderstorm season. Duck’s used to it, though he’s more than a little nervous about what will happen if lightning hits the lake. Luckily, tonight it’s just soft summer rain instead of electricity and drops the size of robin eggs.

Indrid isn’t faring as well. The rain droops his antenna, compresses his fluff until Duck can see he’s still a twig under all those feathers. He shivers, chirrs in discomfort and shakes off his wings, but stays put on his favorite rock.

“There a reason you ain’t just turnin human? Could put on a raincoat that way.”

“I” Indrid sneezes, “I want you to feel comfortable. It can be so unpleasant, feeling like the only non-human in a place.”

Duck swims to the rock, flicking his tail up and down as he float, “You’re always changin form to make me comfortable.”

“Yes. Because I want you to not be unnerved by me.”

“But what about what you want?”

A feathery shrug, “That doesn’t matter.”

“Drid-”

Red eyes glare at him, “I am well aware of how I look, Duck. What people think of me. Would you have spent even a fraction of the time you have with me if your transformation had not forced it?”

“Y-fu-uh-I mean not no?” He sinks into the water as resignation becomes visible on Indrid’s inhuman features.

“I’m glad for our friendship, Duck. And I don’t doubt that you’re fond of me now. But please don’t pretend I was your first choice for company.”

“I mean...you weren’t. But that’s because we barely knew each other, hell, you only got back to town three months ago.” Duck takes the hand nearest him, “if this happened to me now? You might be the first person I’d want lookin out for me.”

Indrid chirrs, dips his head down to rub his cheek against Duck’s hand. Suddenly he wants nothing as badly as he wants to get Indrid warm and dry so he can run his fingers through every inch of those feathers.

“May I turn human?’

“Of course. Means you can come swimmin with me.”

Indrid, now in a tank top and yoga pants, cocks his head, “Why?”

“It’ll be fun?”

“My kind are not the strongest of swimmers.”

“Good thing I got a tail and gills, then. Besides, you’ll stop feelin as sticky from the humidity if you’re in the water.”

Indrid pulls off his shirt and pants, revealing duck-patterned boxers, and cautiously wades into the lake.

“Ooohhhh, that is so much better” his sighs, too blissed-out to notice the sudden drop, and only just manages to grab his glasses before going under. Duck zips forward, hoisting him easily into an embrace as he splutters.

“Blechhh, I despise the taste of lake water.” He clings to Duck, skinny legs teasingly tense around his tail.

Duck rubs his tail up and down his inner legs soothingly, “you, uh, want somethin to get rid of the taste?”

“Please.” Indrid smirks, clearly expecting a goof. When Duck tips his glasses up his forehead, he goes stone still.

“Can I kiss you?”

“This was not in any of the timelines.”

“Just came to me now. And that ain’t an answer.”

Indrid nods, tips his face forward to bring their lips together. Duck sighs, floats lazily backwards as Indrid slips his tongue between his lips. When they part, there are more stars in his eyes than in the whole milky way.

“Do you want some good news?” Indrid nuzzles his neck with an adorable trill.

“Lay it on me.”

“The futures just shifted; Aubrey and Janelle will have a cure for your condition tomorrow.”

“Hell yeah.” Duck flips them upright, Indrid “eeping” and holding tighter, “can’t wait to stop worryin’ about whether I’m gonna start suffocatin on land. And, uh” he nips Indrid’s lower lip, forgetting about his sharpened teeth until the Sylph lets out a little moan, “if you ain’t busy tomorrow night, like to take you on a date.”

Indrid beams, “I’d like that so very much. Though I will admit, I’m going to miss how this looks on you.” He squeezes his thighs around Duck’s tail.

“You can always whip me up one if we wanna, uh, relive the fun parts of this experience.”

“True. And with that in mind, my sweet; how do you feel about wings?”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior. 

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!! 

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like. 

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun. 

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above. 

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history. 

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine. 

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series. 

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY. 

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night 

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of  “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing. 

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask! 

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

[did-he-just-hiss-at-me]

"They'll forget."

warnings: implied suicide attempt(non-specific about who), long with no cut cuz mobile, angst, hurt/comfort

summary: "Remus cackled. 'Don't say that! They're definitely going to try to rescue you, and they'll fall for our trap!' Logan sighed, and his head drooped. 'No.' he said in a hollowed tone. 'They'll forget.'" (not an excerpt)

ships: implied dukeceit(beginning), implied intruloceit(end)

au: super au(my au)

notes: based off this post. sorry if you guys didn't want an au tied to it hgdjfjs. lmk if you want a sequel

-----

(Logan's POV)

Day 1

I woke up with a massive headache, and lacking the ability to see. I couldn't move any part of my body except my head. Where am I? What happened? I questioned internally. I didn't want to alert whoever put me here to the fact that I am awake.

My memory is a foggy mess. I can't remember much. There was... yelling. Or rather, fighting. I wasn't participating in said fight. I don't even think I was allowed to.

Then I was walking home. I remember having my hands in my pockets, staring at the ground. Not caring about the world ahead of me, just below. Maybe a tear or two slipped out, it's hard to remember.

Then I remember someone grabbing me. Pulling me into an alley, and kicking me to the ground. I saw two familiar faces. I got a baseball bat to the face, then darkness.

I coughed, loud. It wasn't intentional, my throat was really dry. How long was I unconscious? It felt like a whole day. Not good for my sleep schedule. Speaking of schedules, I'm worried that my boss has fired me from work by now. He has no patience.

"Hey, L's awake!" a familiar voice called out to another, the sound echoing down the hall. A chill went down my spine, trouble was coming. Footsteps came after the echoing voice. They got louder and louder, fast.

"Heh, You sure that wasn't the other guy?" another voice appeared. It sounded sinister. "Dee, what other guy...? Did you proceed with a kidnapping without me?!" The first voice again. "No no, I'm kidding, Logan's the only one we got right now."

I tried my hardest to appear unconscious, but hearing what was supposedly my name caught me off guard. Logan. That's who I am, right.

It comes back to me now. I am Logan Everton. Natural-born Super with technologic-based abilities. I go by the codename Digit. I am a Super with good intentions.

I remember what happened before I got here. My common allies(though they would refer to us as "friends"), Patton 'Heartbeat' Harper, Roman 'Magma' Aveyard, & Virgil 'Specter' Deckett, were at Roman's place, having a fight. Our team ethic was going awry and it was making everything harder, our successful missions being smaller than our unsuccessful ones.

I had remained quiet most of the conversation, but that's because nobody would let me speak. I'd try to pitch in, steer everyone to a positive outcome, but they'd either yell over me or tell me to stop.

11. I counted. That's how many times I had been shut down. After that, I had enough. I grabbed my backpack, and left without a sound. Nobody called out for me, telling me not to leave, that they would listen to me now. Not at all.

As I shut Roman's front door, I had let out a big sigh. Hands in my pockets, I walked down the sidewalk to my house. It was just a couple blocks away, I would've made it. But back then I didn't care. I started to cry, but I didn't care.

But suddenly I was pulled into an alleyway. I was so caught off guard that I was unable to resist being kicked to the ground and knocked out with a baseball bat. I remember seeing the faces of the two men who grabbed me; Roman's ostracized brother, Remus 'Psycho' Aveyard, and Ethan 'Deceit' Helquist. A common enemy of ours. I now was able to match the voices I just heard to the faces. They got me, and now I'm doomed.

Somebody pulled whatever was over my eyes off my face. Regardless I still tried to look unconscious, but they weren't having it. "Open your eyes Logan, that's not going to work on us." Ethan sneered. I opened my eyes and glared at Ethan. "What do you want from me." I wanted answers.

"Ooh, straightforward now, aren't we nerd? You usually want to know details first, haha!" cackled Remus. "Shut it Rem, this is my turn." snapped Ethan. "We don't want anything from you... yet. For now, you have one, simple purpose... heh..." he chuckled. This could not be good. This guy is a expert manipulator; which is boosted by his powers of deception, hypnosis, and "glamour"(which according to Lo's research, meant you can disguise yourself). Ethan's powers didn't last long, but they were effective.

"I said it once. And I'll say it again." I started to demand. "What. Do. You. Want. What is your plan." I needed to contact the others and let them know what is happening. They wouldn't know otherwise.

Ethan put his hands down on the arms of the chair I was strapped to, his hands just barely touching mine. His face was 1/2 of a foot from mine. "I know your tricks, Lo~. I confiscated your technology, you cannot contact your little 'pals'. Anyways, until your teammates get here, you're just bait. You will lure them here. After all, what will your team be without their smart team member?" Ethan explained with an evil smirk. Right, how did I not realize that? My head still hurts, it's making it hard to think clearly.

"And yet, your plan is still flawed." I dead-panned. "What. Did you. Say?" Ethan growled back, moving his head back a little and grabbing me by my shirt.

"I told you, your plan has a loophole, and it's being exploited right now whether my friends know it or not." "What are you talking about, dork? Our plan is perfect!" Remus cackled once more.

"They're not coming."

Silence settled upon the room. A stunned Ethan gently let go of my shirt, & took a couple steps back. He let out a laugh of disbelief. "You must be joking! Seriously?! Why wouldn't they come for YOU?!"

"Because they don't know I'm missing. And they never will, because they don't want to know." I paused for a moment, tearing up a little. Not enough for them to notice, but it's there. "They don't care about me."

Remus started laughing, killing the sad moment. "HAH, I don't believe that for a second, four-eyes!" His face was filled with disbelief and mania. "You...Your friends need you, why wouldn't they come for you! You're so valuable to them, which is why we chose you in the first place!" he cackled once more.

"Well, you made a poor choice then. Anyone would have been better than me..."

Ethan snapped out of his stunned state. "Don't think that you can fool us so easily, Digit." he glared, putting emphasis on my nickname. "Remus?" he called for the male's attention.

"Yes, Double Dee~?" he responded with a wink.

"I told you, stop calling me that. Now, go get our prisoner food. Probably McDonalds or something."

"Will do, ya snake-charmer!" Remus winked again. Remus ran out.

"Oh, and one more thing, dear prisoner." The words felt like acid on Logan's skin. "They have 7 days to get here. Whether you say they'll come or not, they have a time limit before there's... consequences" Ethan warned, with a hiss at the end. He presented an evil smile before leaving Logan alone in the dark.

---

(No POV)

Day 2

Ethan & Remus returned to their prisoner early that morning, and hung around. Eventually they transferred Logan from being tied to a chair to a window-less bedroom with a locked door. It was actually a nice room to be in. The bed was super comfy, there was a TV with a DVD player(plus many dvds), a table and chair, and a bookshelf. On the table, Remus left him a notepad and pencil to write on if Logan needed anything, as there was enough room under the door to slip paper through. Logan never used it that day though, he just sat around in his room and sulked, knowing how this wasn't going to turn out for his enemies. The only time he got up was for food, which was always fast food. At least they were generous enough to give him nice(ish) things. They could've just gave him a burger and left, But Logan didn't care either way.

Ethan & Remus never stuck around in the room, just checked up on him. But seeing Logan just laying there on the bed filled the two with an emotion they could not identify yet.

---

Day 3

Almost the same as yesterday. Today was a Monday, so surely someone from his job would wonder where Logan went, right? Nope. Ethan kept Logan's phone with him at all times and there were no texts, no calls, not even a message on any social media.

Logan hesitantly got out of bed to do stuff aside from eating meals. None of the movies available were ones he was interested in, so he got Remus to bring him some documentaries, as well as Logan's personal notebook from his bag.

In fact, the little maniac decided to hang around Logan a bit. Some of the documentaries Remus grabbed were unintentionally ones he liked, so he decided to watch them with his prisoner.

Ethan still didn't like Logan. That's what he says, at least.

---

Day 4

Not much happened, just the usual. Except Remus had brought Logan a cookie with his dinner, a nice change.

---

(Ethan's POV)

I was sitting at my kitchen table, just staring out the window. I had my arm supporting my head while I thought about things.

Logan's proving himself right and I don't like it. But I don't get why. I should be upset because my plans are going wrong, but... I'm not.

Suddenly I felt hands covering my eyes. "Guess who~?" a voice asked in a sing-songy tone. I chuckled. "Obviously it's Remus. There's nobody else it could be."

Remus uncovered my eyes and pulled me into a hug, causing me to yelp. "You got me, babe!" he confessed, kissing me on the cheek. "Sorry for the hug, I forgot you don't like large, sudden moments of physical contact." Remus pulled away slowly and apologized, looking a bit embarrassed. Overstepping my boundaries is the only time he ever seems embarrassed.

"It's ok, Rem." I unintentionally sighed. Logan's still on my mind. My expression became a but more sad as I continued to think about the situation.

"Something wrong, Double Dee~?" Remus flirtatiously chuckled. He then noticed my facial expression and his smile fell. "...Seriously. Is everything ok? You usually let this kind of thing slide, Ethan." he queried worriedly. You could see the concern in his eyes. He only uses my full name when he's genuinely troubled.

"No no, it's not that." I reassured with a smile, as I grabbed his hand and held it with both of mine. Then the frown of mine returned right after. "It's Logan."

"Oh... is it because of you-know-what?" he questioned again.

"If "you-know-what" is the fact that his "friends" still haven't come for him? Yeah. It is..." I responded once again. Remus's face said everything. He recognized that Logan had told the truth.

"What's more, they haven't even shown a sign that they're planning to come get him. I tracked their movements across the city, not even a little bit of time was spent doing any sort of planning." I added on. Remus & I looked into each other's eyes. We saw the pain within ourselves. A familar feeling. An experience we remember all too well.

Seconds that felt like hours passed by. We wanted to cry. We were abandoned by those we trusted so dearly. Cast aside, all because of mistakes. Look what it did to us. We know the feelings experience during that time of loneliness. I don't want Logan to feel what we did, and I know Remus agrees.

"He... Logan's just like how we once were."

"Indeed, he is. And we're not going to let it remain like that."

---

(No POV)

Day 5

Remus & Deceit, to Logan's suspicion, made an effort to slowly welcome him. Remus was already doing so but only out of "sheer pity for the nerd". At first, Logan was hesitant. He had a bias against them due to them being villains.

Day 6

But by mid-day Wednesday, Logan had opened up more. He didn't understand it, but he just let it happen. He didn't care anymore. They're probably earning his trust so they can manipulate him against the others later.

Logan just wanted it to be over. During this past week, he had a lot of time to think. Enough time to lose hope in humanity. Nobody was going to rescue him. He was going to be forced to kill those he once loved.

He didn't want to admit it, but Logan was actually looking forward to his revenge. Not towards his kidnappers, no. They've actually shown him more acceptance than he's felt in a long time.

He wanted revenge on his former team.

---

(Logan's POV)

Day 7 - The last day.

Remus returned to check on me right on schedule. We talked a bit, watched a movie, he even brought a few puzzles for us to do.

Ethan, however, did not return until the evening. I had forgotten today was the "deadline" until the sinister man entered the room and dropped his backpack beside the now closed door with a glare towards Remus.

"It's time." he snapped. "Do you want to leave the room, Remus? I do not want to upset you, after all."

Remus gulped. "No... I want to stay. This is important for the three of us." he shook his head.

Important for the three of us? My body stiffened up and I squeezed my lower right arm. That cannot be good. Remus & I were previously sitting on my bed, angled right across from the door. The now terrified man got up and stepped beside his partner, who was now in the middle of the room, a few feet away from me.

"Should I hold him back, to make sure he cooperates...?" Remus questioned worriedly.

"No. You'll scare him." said Ethan as he stared into my eyes, never moving his attention. "But you already are, look at him." Ethan's previously tense stance had instantly loosened, realization dawning on him. Remus was right, I had now realized I was shaking, sweat was dripping down my back.

"Oh... Oh! I-i'm so sorry, Logan. It wasn't my intention." He bent down to my level and apologized. I was still stiffened up, though, and I turned my head away. "I'll let it pass." I finally let out as he waited for my response. His expression became sad.

"Logan, look at me. You need to listen." I hesitated for a second, but then turned to look him in his heterochromatic eyes. He seemed genuine.

"Today marks almost exactly a whole week of your friends not coming to save you. I originally had one plan, which you had no choice." I glared at him, moving back slightly. "But now that it hasn't worked, you have three choices." My eyebrows raised at the sudden proposal. I still remained like a statue, but now i'm truly listening.

"Number one. We let you go free, but... under one condition." Ethan paused for a moment. "You either give up all your technology-period-or, you let us keep track of what you do with any technology you use. We know your powers rely on having a gadget with you, Logan. We can't let you continue being a threat, but we also no longer want to see you hurt. You're a good man, you know." he confessed solemnly.

My expression softened. In the end, I didn't want to give up being a hero. The world needs me. But if this ends up being my best option, then I will agree.

"Option two, our backup plan in case you refuse option 1 & 3. In the situation where you refuse the before mentioned options, we will proceed with our original intentions. We hypnotize you with the intention to use you against your friends. We no longer want to do this to you, but if you refuse to cooperate we will do this." once more, his offer came solemnly.

I tightened up again, prepared to defend myself. I didn't want to know option 3, I just wanted to be as free as I can get. But before I could open my mouth, Remus spoke up.

"Why didn't you save that for last? I thought that would've made a better ending."

"Trust me, this one is a better closer in my opinion, Remus." he sighed.

"Finally, option 3." Ethan took a deep breath. This sounded like nerve wrecking answer for him to say. I wasn't sure whether to care or not. I just remained defensive.

At last, he let it out. "You join us. Leave your troubling life as a hero behind. Get payback for what the world has done to you. Or if you want to remain 'heroic', the three of us can become anti-heroes. Whatever it takes to make you happy." Ethan sounded serious.

Remus chimed in again, to Ethan's frustration. "Don't you want to show those losers how you feel about them now?! Smash their heads in?! Make them regret even wronging you once?!"

"No!" I lied, curling up into a ball on the bed. I didn't know what I want one bit. My morals are split in front of me, forcing me to choose one half and discard the other permanently.

The more serious of the two grabbed me by the shoulders, remaining at my eye level. "Look. I know you're hesitant to leave it all behind. You're used to one path in life. But we want what's best for you in the end. I know that anger is going to fester within you until you can no longer handle it, and end it all because there's nothing you can do about it." In that moment. Remus started shaking, crossing his arms and trying to calm himself. Ethan didn't notice, he was too focused on reassuring me.

"We were exactly like you once. Abandoned, by those we trusted most!" Ethan too, was now breaking down. "Cast away, all because of some mistakes! We had never known better! The problems built up within us, and corrupted us! And all the painful emotions of loneliness and betrayal along the way..." he choked out that last bit with a sob. "We want to help you avoid that part. We've turned out to want to care for you... W-we want-" the manipulator was now crying. Remus came up to him and slowly pulled him into a hug to comfort him, crying too.

"Shh, it's ok, Eth. It's ok, deep breaths." the maniacal one said in a way that seemed out of character for him. As Remus cried too, he rubbed Ethan's back.

I, Logan, have now come to a realization. They're serious. They genuinely care about me. Unlike anyone currently alive and in my life. I decided in that moment that my heart is right. I want what will satisfy my fury.

I got down to the ground with them and grabbed Ethan's hand, squeezing it periodically. "Ethan, listen. I'm here. Do as I say. Breathe in for 4 seconds..." As I began to help calm him down, he followed along. "Hold it for 7 seconds... And now let go for 8, and repeat." After about a minute Ethan was calm.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that side of me. You didn't deserve to know all that." he tried to confess. "Eth-..." Remus began to reassure, but cut himself off.

"I'll do it." I agreed, catching their attention. "I'm going to join you. You're right." I said as I stood up. I was going to say more, but I was stopped by the both of them getting up, and Remus pulling me into a tight hug.

"Don't worry, you'll fit right in with us. Everything will be just fine. We will never forget about you."

And in that moment, I knew they were right.

[nettlestonenell]

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke​, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke​ posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood​ but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

·         IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

·         Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

·         IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

·         DOES Gaby have a German accent?

·         Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration. 

 ·         If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

·         How old was Gaby during the war?

·         What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

·         That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

·         Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

·         That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

·         Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

·         Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

·         Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

·         It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

·         Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

·         Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

·         Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

·         You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

                            o   I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

·         “He fixed the glitch.”

·         Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

·         “I left my jacket in there.”

·         The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

         Someone says “winkle” out.

·         Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

·         Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

·         That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

·         Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

·         This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

·         Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

·         Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

·         Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

·         Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

·         Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

·         I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

·         More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

·         A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

·         HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

·         C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

·         Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

·         Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

·         Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

·         “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

·         Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

·         Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

·         CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Do you think Mabel gets too much hate? I noticed when a female character acts selfish she gets hated on but when a male character does the same it’s praised

We’re free to love or hate any character with or without reason. That said, I feel sad seeing Mabel hate and agree Mabel receives too much hate. I feel like the rhetoric claiming she’s unforgivably selfish is skewed. I think people have decent criticisms regarding Mabel’s character and how she’s presented. However, I don’t think they sufficiently describe the full picture.

Anecdotally, I don’t think this is a case of sweeping sexism because Ford also receives more criticism than I think warranted. My perspective on how much hate each character proportionately receives could be incomplete, though.

But anyway. Let’s talk Mabel.

First though: please don’t try to debate this with me. If you don’t like my opinion, no worries. That’s chill. I’m just not interested in using my recreation time debating this. Thanks! :) However, if you want further clarifications, analyses, case studies, etc. I’m happy to talk more, because this is NOWHERE close to exhausting my thoughts on this topic.

Mabel’s Selfishness: The General Critique

I think everyday anti-Mabel criticism tends to use points like:

When other characters act selfishly, they’re called out and the narrative punishes them. But when Mabel wants something, she gets it, and it’s a reward (The Deep End, The Time Traveler’s Pig, Escape from Reality).

Mabel never learns how to give up something important and deal with that loss. Even when she lets something go, it’s not something that would have been good in her life. For instance, her failed puppet performance is “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, since Gabe’s just a puppet kisser. In the end, she doesn’t have to live with sacrifice (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera).

Mabel even selfishly causes the apocalypse by giving Bill the rift. She’s never held responsible for that (Dipper and Mabel vs the Future).

The narrative reinforces that Mabel is a good person even when she’s not (The Last Mabelcorn).

People particularly look at Mabel in S2 over S1; many claim that’s when her character began to feel selfish and insufferable. 

This isn’t everything, but I have tried to characterize the rhetoric fairly based upon what I’ve seen.

I find these discussion points understandable. Mabel can be self-focused and sometimes ignores others’ feelings. Alex Hirsch admitted in DVD commentaries that he focused on Dipper learning lessons because he put himself in Dipper’s shoes. And some of Alex’s writing intentions could’ve been clearer, like instances where the twins resolve conflicting desires. We could talk about how the show could be improved or the character is legitimately not-selfless.

At the same time, I think how fandom uses these talking points isn’t 100% fair to Mabel’s character or the show’s full narrative. 

I want to point out that Mabel hate for her selfishness covers two fronts: one claim that Mabel is selfish, and another claim that the surrounding plot doesn’t handle her selfishness satisfactorily. I think there’s fair constructive criticism when it comes to narrative framing (even if I disagree), but I don’t think the same dialogue is good rationale against Mabel’s personality. At times I see the two concepts conflated. The narrative may annoy you if you think selfishness isn’t addressed in plot, and contribute to you disliking the character, but claiming “Mabel is selfish” because of that is flawed logic. 

In this analysis, I’ll cover both fronts. I’ll tackle the four points I mentioned above and explain why I find them too harsh. I’m not going to cover all my thoughts (yes, my original draft was longer!!), but I will argue:

Mabel reverses her selfishness - and that’s the big choice sealing the climax of multiple episodes. She doesn’t get off “consequence free” either (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera)

Mabel sacrifices for others. The narrative does show that Dipper and Mabel meet in the middle, not that Dipper feels guilty enough to ameliorate his sister’s wishes (Sock Opera, Escape from Reality)

Mabel giving the rift to “Blendin” mirrors Dipper offering a puppet to Bill. Both twins are emotionally compromised and believe they’re making a harmless deal with an inconsequential item. Neither would’ve made these choices in calmer circumstances. Sock Opera doesn’t have Dipper deal with his culpability; relax up on Mabel (Sock Opera, Dipper and Mabel vs the Future)

Mabel’s selfishness is addressed, handled, and resolved. The moral of The Last Mabelcorn isn’t defending Mabel’s goodness; it’s Mabel embracing imperfection. Mabel learns she’s a bad person and changes her perspective of herself multiple times in canon (The Last Mabelcorn, Lost Legends)

I could also have talked about how selfishness isn’t required to be resolved in her character arc, all the times Mabel does nice things for others, how she doesn’t always obnoxiously hog the spotlight, and other things, but I want to cap the length of this essay.

So let’s begin.

Can Mabel learn from selfishness if she’s consequence-free and never handles meaningful loss?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Circumstances don’t adversely affect Mabel. This means she never has to sacrifice for her brother like Dipper does for her. For instance, in Sock Opera, Mabel sees that Gabe is a weirdo over-obsessed with puppets. Her failed puppet performance was “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, so she doesn’t learn true self-sacrificial love. Mabel never learns how to give something important up and deal without it. So, she never changes.

Boyz Crazy not only is an episode where the climax is Mabel learning to act against her selfish desires, but it’s got an explicit apology in dialogue. “I’m sorry I went bonkers,” she tells Candy and Grenda. “A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?”

While Mabel has to learn this lesson again in later episodes, it’s to note: most GF characters are fairly static, and Dipper also has to learn multiple times not to hit on Wendy. Character progress doesn’t happen all at once. And in the next episode I’ll talk about, not only does Mabel confront her selfishness, but it’s the last time she lets her boy chasing impact Dipper. It ends after this.

I’m talking Sock Opera.

Mabel’s sacrifice in Sock Opera is big. She doesn’t get off “consequence free.” She decides to sabotage her performance before knowing Gabe’s a weirdo. Mabel is fully willing to lose her most viable romance option… for Dipper. She realizes her brother would be willing to give something up for her, and she’s going to reciprocate by giving up something big for him. 

Mabel might’ve dodged the bullet of dating Gabe, but she still gives up something big and will feel it. Sure, she makes the puppet show to impress Gabe. But she’s also entertaining a full audience. She can feel the people booing her, see them storming out and leaving. Mabel is someone who wants everyone happy, so much that seeing everyone happy except Robbie puts her in Crisis Mode. I don’t know about you, but just because I saw some guy kissing puppets, I wouldn’t think, “Yay! I had a happy outcome to this play ordeal!”

Mabel VERY much says, in the dialogue, that her brother would give up something big for her. And that’s what her Big Choice comes down to. Every episode climax in Gravity Falls comes down to The Big Choice. Here, Mabel’s Big Choice… is to sacrificially watch her hard work burst into literal flames.

Mabel apologizes to her brother, “I’m sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you.”

In following episodes, Mabel does put Dipper in mind. She gets momentarily distracted by crushes in The Love God, but that’s in a quest to solve her own mistake - a mistake that came from trying to make everyone, from Robbie to Thompson to Dipper, happy. She wants to include Dipper, from the Ducktective finale to her birthday party planning mission. And if you’re focusing on how she teases Dipper, why aren’t you also targeting Stan, who makes the same action without change?

Mabel Hate rhetoric focuses on how Bill was “right” in Sock Opera and she still acts selfishly in the same patterns after that episode. But, the climax is Mabel resisting Bill and demonstrating self-sacrifice, and that arguably does influence her character afterwards. It’s one step in an incomplete process. She might not be ready to handle Dipper separating off with Ford, but that’s because her arc still isn’t completed.

We do see Mabel dealing with meaningful loss like the collapse of her puppet show. She does show sacrificial love for her brother. And, as I’ll talk about more, she continues to grapple with and grow in selflessness through later decisions like Escape Through Reality.

Does Mabel ever realize she’s a bad person?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Narrative reinforces Mabel is a good person even when she’s not. Alex Hirsch wrote with rose-tinted bias because Mabel represents Alex’s twin sister. The Last Mabelcorn showcases that. Instead of Mabel learning she’s a bad person who can’t receive a unicorn’s blessing… the unicorn’s criticisms against Mabel get nullified – the creature’s lying about Mabel’s impure heart. Mabel got affirmed for who she was rather than dealing with her imperfection.

First off: if you haven’t watched the DVD commentary for The Last Mabelcorn, you should. It’s a wild story how this episode got made. Alex Hirsch trashed the script of an entire episode 48 hours before it was due. He crunched to write a new episode - by himself - from scratch. So yeah. A few lines of final dialogue could’ve been tweaked to improve the message, but the fact he wrote as successful an episode as he did in that short of time is incredible. And the message of The Last Mabelcorn is there:

Mabel learns she’s an *IMPERFECT* person. She embraces being imperfect instead of groveling for impossible perfection and meaningless approval.

Maybe that’s not the “Mabel learns selflessness!” episode you wanted, but this is a fascinating lesson, and one I don’t see touted tons in media. I love it.

Mabel spends the episode attempting to be pure of heart through kind deeds. Wendy tells Mabel they should solve their problem the dirty way. Mabel keeps refusing until the unicorns anger her. This is the moment of triumph: she punches a unicorn. Mabel forsakes the route of “pure” good deeds to do what she first considered dirty. That’s the hero moment, dudes! 

Mabel says the unicorns are “worse” than her, not that she’s good and they’re bad. Mabel comes out of the adventure declaring, “Today I learned morality is relative.” That’s because the episode’s climactic Big Choice isn’t about Mabel accepting she’s a “pure” person; it’s about Mabel accepting she can make “impure” choices.

Ford is the person at the end who tries to tell Mabel she’s good. But Mabel contradicts what he says with that “morality is relative” quote. What she takes away is that she’s imperfect, she can make non-sparkly-decisions, and that’s okay. She’s become more aware of herself and her flaws, but also accepts she can make choices others might shake their heads at. 

So. Ford and Wendy might’ve called Mabel “a good person” in key parts of the episode, which is why I say Alex (not in a time crunch) could’ve considered tweaking lines to make the point clearer. But I don’t think the episode depicts Mabel as a selfish jerk who never learns her flaws.

And frankly? If I had to choose between a standard “you’re not perfect” episode and this? I’d MUCH rather have this, where characters learn lessons, but we also get the show’s humorous, slightly subversive, slightly truthful “anti-morality.” That’s a Gravity Falls thing, after all. (For other anti-morality examples: Stan saying Summerween is about celebrating “pure evil,” Mabel deciding it’s good to lie so Stan doesn’t get arrested, Mabel deciding being an asshole to employees is productive, etc.)

So yes, Mabel realizes she’s a bad person, even if it’s not in the way you expected. And that’s still not the end of her character arc. 

Does Mabel ever sacrifice for others Dipper?

Argument: Mabel only agrees to leave her bubble after Dipper promises to drop Ford’s apprenticeship. This apprenticeship would have been huge for Dipper. But all Mabel “sacrifices” is leaving a fake world she’s hiding in, goofing around instead of helping people in literal Armageddon. 

Much of Mabel and Dipper’s relationship is about how they’re opposites. We repeatedly see the best place for both of them is the middle. Alex Hirsch talks about this tons. Whether it’s perfectly implemented is a debate for another day. I do think these concepts can be seen even in episodes like Escape From Reality where there’s been criticism of narrative execution.

I’ve seen people say Mabel “gets her way” because Dipper turns down Ford’s apprenticeship when he sees it makes her sad. Hirsch has said in commentaries Dipper was making a mistake wanting the apprenticeship. Mabel wants to avoid growing up while Dipper wants to grow up too fast.

We don’t have to take Hirsch’s word-of-god for it: the story does show that Dipper was erring with the apprenticeship. Ford intends well, but his bias against siblinghood means he’s polluting Dipper’s values. He suggests that Dipper staying with Mabel is “suffocating.” He suggests that Dipper is “greater” and should be doing something with it. “Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?” And later: “Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don’t let anyone hold you [back].”

When Mabel and Dipper make resolutions in Mabel Land, Dipper says he’ll drop the apprenticeship. This emotionally touches Mabel. But being emotionally touched doesn’t mean that’s WHY she makes amends with her brother. Instead, Mabel reassures him that he can take the apprenticeship if he wants. She leaves the choice up to him and is willing to let him live in another state during their teen years. She finds his needs and desires important.

And honestly? It’s Dipper himself who realizes the apprenticeship is bogus; it’s not because Mabel is forcing her brother to change. “Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford’s apprentice. Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a lab coat? How ridiculous is that?” He sheds the idea because he realizes it’s a bad one, not because he’s ameliorating someone too selfish to accept her brother leaving her.

It’s also to note Mabel Land tempts everyone. Calling only Mabel selfish when everyone else gets pulled in… seems incorrect. Bill considers it a diabolical, inescapable prison. People like Soos, Wendy, and Dipper who know it’s a prison get drawn to Mabel Land’s temptations. Heck, Dipper gets tempted with an old vice. He might have grown more mature, but that doesn’t mean he can’t trip occasionally (we can apply the same understanding to Mabel and “selfishness,” by the way - someone can both grow and keep tripping). Mabel, meanwhile, wants to use the bubble to help and comfort her visiting friends (which is, for the record, not selfish) and thinks reality should be avoided because both her and Dipper’s lives have been adversely affected. Dipper’s pain is important, too. Mabel has been in this prison longer than Soos, Wendy, and Dipper, and the prison was designed for her - ergo she’s going to be more manipulated by it. Lots of her actions are avoidance tactics because she’s scared of growing up, yes. The court trial is a lot, yes. But we should bear in mind that this is a child scared of growing up and feeling the burn of conflict with her brother. Emotional and psychological context is important. We all get vulnerable. Do our lowest lows define our entire personality?

When Dipper and Mabel make their compromise, both reject temptations. Dipper rejects a bad apprenticeship; Mabel rejects a bad reality. They offer each other solutions where they don’t get what they originally want. They meet in the middle, and this is the best way for both to move forward in the aging process. They’re both satisfied and confident with their choice. It’s not Dipper giving up everything for Mabel, ameliorating her because she’s sad. It’s about the twins learning they can make it through life together, through thick and thin.

Potentially muddled thematic framing does not erase the resolution the twins make. It does not erase that Mabel’s depicted as someone willing to give up major things for her brother.

Okay. But that rift thing. How can you excuse the APOCALYPSE??? JUST TO HAVE MORE SUMMER!?!

The point is that Mabel is emotionally compromised and outmanipulated.

She’s a terrified twelve year old going through a Very Rough Day. She’s terrified about the future, she’s learned bad news after bad news, and she’s afraid her life as she knows it will be wrenched apart. It feels like everything she loves - from her best friends to her brother - will be distanced from her. 

Would you have handled this well as a kid? Adults have issues with this, too.

When she meets “Blendin,” she’s told that trading one inconsequential item will save her future. It’s self-focused, but it’s important to understand: she wouldn’t have made this choice in calmer emotional states.

Compare this to Dipper making a deal with Bill in Sock Opera. The twins literally make the same mistake for the same reasons, duped by the same villain.

Dipper: Decides to give Bill one of Mabel’s belongings, a puppet, without her knowledge. Mabel: Decides to give Bill one of Dipper’s backpack items without his knowledge. 

Dipper: Irritated with Mabel because she isn’t helping unlock the laptop.Mabel: Frustrated with Dipper because it feels like he’s abandoning her to be “special” with Ford. 

Dipper: This is an inconsequential bargain. Bill is just unlocking the laptop. He’s just taking a sock puppet - Mabel has plenty of those.Mabel: Nothing bad will happen. Just a few more weeks of summer. And she’s giving an item Ford allegedly won’t notice is missing.

Dipper: The laptop counter is ticking. Only a matter of minutes before the data gets erased.Mabel: Summer is ending in a week. Separation from Dipper is imminent. 

Dipper: Not thinking clearly due to sleep deprivation.Mabel: Not thinking clearly, emotionally compromised from a walloping bad day.

Hirsch and company have confirmed that only this combination of factors convinced Dipper to make a deal with a demon. Mabel wouldn’t have shook “Blendin’s” hand in less severe circumstances. It’s ironic that, in Sock Opera and Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, rhetoric attacks Mabel in both episodes.

So yes, Mabel gave Bill the rift. But yes, Dipper jeopardized the town’s safety by letting Bill into his body.

I know that, at this point, people might argue there’s a narrative difference. Dipper learned from his mistake but Mabel didn’t. However, I disagree. There wasn’t dialogue in Sock Opera where Dipper explicitly confronts his transgression and works it out with Mabel on screen. Same thing with Mabel and the rift. I know fans wanted it addressed that Mabel started the apocalypse… and frankly I would’ve enjoyed that too… but it doesn’t make Mabel’s writing as a character suddenly, “OH NO SELFISH SELFISH! AND THE NARRATIVE IS LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH BEING SELFISH!”

It’s no different than how writing handles Dipper in Sock Opera. And again, give a terrified kid a break instead of calling a large emotional low “irrevocably selfish.”

By the time Take Back the Falls comes around, Mabel encourages everyone to work together to fight Bill. Mabel risks her life to save the town and her family. Mabel works together with Dipper and puts the people she loves first.

Lost Legends: Fixing remaining narrative holes

After S2 ended, Mabel’s selfishness is head on tackled. That’s the ENTIRE point of Don’t Dimension It in Lost Legends. I suspect Alex Hirsch read Mabel criticism and intentionally reacted through Lost Legends. In this story, Mabel acts out of self-focused energy and doesn’t realize her actions have negative consequences to others. It puts the Pines family in an interdimensional conundrum. Once Mabel runs into other Mabels from other dimensions, she comes to terms that she’s self-absorbed and needs to be attuned to how others feel. Mabel realizes she put everyone in this mess. She apologizes to her family and resolves to be better.

It’s great.

I’ve still seen people criticize it. And that’s where I think Mabel hate rhetoric definitely goes too far. I suspect there’s bias in how people responded to that comic. By the time Lost Legends came out, criticisms for selfish Mabel were rampant and people were set in their perspectives, so seeing a character arc about Mabel’s selfishness got unfairly nitpicky responses. 

I’ve seen people say things like, “Well, she only learns when she interacts with herself, not with others!” But that’s a cool way of presenting story! Mabel sees herself in a literal mirror and takes away truth. Sometimes we don’t see our flaws until it’s right in our faces. This is Mabel’s in-the-face moment. The “I’m selfish” revelation doesn’t have to be with Dipper to be relevant toward how she treats Dipper. She takes away the full lesson she’s self-absorbed and needs to fix that. She immediately makes sure to talk to Dipper about becoming a better person. She owns responsibility toward how she’s treated her brother - and mentions the entire summer as the scope of her fault.

“I’m sorry for being selfish this summer,” the comic ends. “I guess it took me dealing with myself to realize what you put up with. It’s time for us to start some new adventures! And this time I won’t always hog the spotlight.”

There are other criticisms about Lost Legends, which I feel boil down to “I don’t know, still doesn’t satisfy me, not enough.” It makes me wonder what would get people satisfied. Does every possible angle of how someone could learn selfishness have to be covered thoroughly? No franchise can cover that scope. Isn’t there still lots of takeaway with Mabel? Don’t Dimension It alone is an episode’s worth of material, the same amount of content which most fans deemed enough to wrap up Dipper getting over Wendy, Pacifica being a brat, and Gideon being creepy on Mabel.

Mabel’s selfishness gets addressed, multiple times, and gets a final-final resolution in the comics.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s an interesting point you make, anon friend, that male characters get praised while women get condemned. I haven’t talked about gender aspects or other selfishly-acting male characters like Stanley (whose selfishness people perceive as lovable). I said earlier I don’t think it’s rampant fandom sexism, but there still could be a point there. Maybe you’re right it’s a factor. It wouldn’t be the first time gender perception’s done that.

I think there’s also point to be made that Dipper is the protagonist. Mabel’s a deuteragonist. It’s more common to write life lessons for the protagonist. That’s fine. Dipper learning more lessons than Mabel and Dipper giving up a little more than Mabel is a result of being a protagonist, not narrative excusing Mabel for her flaws or letting her waltz around scott free.

So yeah. I think Mabel’s gotten too much criticism for that flaw. Constructive criticism is almost always interesting in fandom dialogue, but rampant hate movements make me sad. Talking about how narrative structure could’ve been improved I find cool; pinning it on the character’s humanity bothers me. I think lots of the dialogue turns into criticizing Mabel unfairly as a person, and given as other GF characters have glaring flaws, it feels imbalanced and uncomfortable that SHE gets disproportionate attacks. 

This is Mabel we’re talking about. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she tries to rescue Mermando when that means she’ll never see him again. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she knits everyone sweaters during the Apocalypse. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she calls out Dipper when he’s leading on Candy. Mabel Pines, who risks her life in multiple daring moves to save the town, parachuting through the sky into the demon’s lair… acting as a decoy to distract Bill Cipher… and more. Mabel Pines, who spends an entire episode trying to make everyone happy, down to Robbie, whom everyone else didn’t care enough about (but Mabel did!!!). Mabel Pines, who encourages Soos to date women and find a romantic connection he’s satisfied with. Mabel Pines, who fights in Globnar and risks her life, just so Soos can have a happy birthday and forget about his dad. Mabel Pines, who decides it’s better to be friends with her enemy Pacifica than fight petty battles. Mabel Pines, whose love for her brother helps even the thirty year rift between Stan and Ford mend. Mabel, who couldn’t give up on Stan and found a way to restore his memories when all others thought it lost. Mabel. Fucking. Pines!