#this is from july btw.. so kinda old lol

[pmegranatefl3shdyke]

hnnghh.. got a new game and i cant draw at all now.. heres old doodles of starbound pm..!!

i think glitch licorice doodles are in order too...... i just cant fiure out his hair? do i want them to be cables or metal..? idk....

[sobredunia]

Okay so I was looking through an old notebook from 2022 and I found a lot of cool stuff that I don't think I've shown here so imma do just that

I'll put it under the cut bc I really wanna put "developer commentary" on these so it's gonna get long quick

Oh fun fact I think I've shown her like. Only once before. And it was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment. So yea good luck if u wanna see her again lol. Also yes I did look that up on Google. For oc backstory reasons. Don't ask.

This is what my vent art looks like

One of the first sketches/concept designs for the PINK project! Ended up changing some small stuff like how detailed the jacket was, the pants, and the shape and length of the boots. Funnily enough even tho her clothes were simplified her vitiligo markings became more complex. Yes this AMV thing has been on my brain since 2022

Nume! :D I've shown this image of them a lot but I don't think I've shown the full page. She comes with a white boy I guess lol. The hooded doodle on the corner was kinda like an idea design for another AMV that was rotating in my brain at the time

Censored a bit of it for. Reasons. But yeah this is what Daya looked like when she was twelve! White boy included lmao. This was mostly so I could design them a school uniform, and still I think I'd change it nowadays. I'm not too satisfied with it. I've never been too good at designing outfits, esp the colors :/

I drew this when the school year started and I had mad rat Monday brainrot but I didn't know what the song said after "Panasonic Blu-Ray" and my brain somehow registered it as "don't be such a bitch" instead of "Christmas in July". Idk how it happened either.

Eren Yeager

Whoops almost forgot. Art taglist

@rotkad @sansxfuckyou @7hefear @beetroot-merchant @ashingtonkisihita

@h3xt0r @bree-sae @helloidkwhatimdoing-0 @zecrisketch @princelyre (welcome to the taglist btw! :D We hope you enjoy your stay)

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

worldbuilding lore thingies⁉️⁉️

god my humor's dead-

this is the 2nd ask btw! forgot to label the first one-

---

towards jamil and vil's chapter yuu starts to kinda willingly interact w/ the blot and stuff. this is around the time they start seeing the blot as a good thing.

the blot's psychological effects also include decreased empathy for others, which is why yuu kinda just goes batshit at the end. at least in my personal theory idk bro yuu almost got killed by like 6 mfs in total rn just saying.

since yuu can't use magic, they therefore can't use magic gems to get rid of/contain blot lest it gets aggresive. to counter this, yuu's body kind of acts as the magic gem, except for the fact that yuu is very much alive and the blot effect is substantially worse bc of that-

yuu's inability to use magic makes the blot less potent, but much more effective in a way. the fact that they can't use magic makes it so the blot spreads much much slower, but in a way, that lets it fester every time yuu thinks abt their developing inferiority complex. they need to live up to a lot, and so the blot starts to compensate for it.

the blot that yuu's infected w/ is pure, ubfiltered blot from other people, making it much, much, more potent than an another overblot. also a lot harder to deal with, and really fucking scary to try and fight. they basically are the goddamn blot now bestie. crowley shits himself challenge canon.

also considering it now it may give them a mild identity crisis bc the blot probably has a personal touch. it seems to be based off mental health status as well as overuse of magic, so i'd imagine each type of blot from each person has a personal problem involved. those personal problems kinda just seep into their brain and become yuu's personal problems. yk? idk bro this one's new most of these are copy/pasted off disc-

when yuu ends up (kinda? technically???) overblotting, this is because their body is basically pure inky blot at this point. i mean like every cell has been replaced w/ blot and they can shape it and form it however they want. this means they can stretch themselves across miles, grow out tendrils, fill a pool with blot by suddenly like melting, and just do whatever tf they want lmao. again, their body acts as the gem to compensate for the lack of one.

yuu's appearence changes w/ each overblot infection. at first it's just one of their hands that's kinda just pure black and starting to form claws. they wear gloves for reasons later on. over time though, it starts to spread to more limbs and parts of their body. their hair starts to turn black in some strands by the end, and their eyes are a similar colour. they look like they're melting when it finally takes over wholly. they do have some control over this tho, they can kinda change their colours to hide concern/keep it under wraps if needed. they want to keep this, if it's lost? well, there goes their chance of surviving here alone.

crowley tells yuu that the very obvious thing to worry abt is nothing to worry abt bc they can't use magic and so the blot can't infect them. he is confident abt this. he now considers resignation as nrc gets fucked (/j yk he won't resign. he does shit himself tho).

---

sooo yeah. thoughts? again i kinda came up w/ this in the shower but yeah. it's kinda old lol. made in july 24th-

again, this is the 2nd one btw!!! :]

-crow anon

I adore this. Imagine when the final overblot is dealt with they start to melt away since their body can't handle the blot. They aren't from this world after all, even the air here woukd kill them eventually

[maeamian]

I posted 5,544 times in 2022

169 posts created (3%)

5,375 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kelpforestdwellers

@chibi-oneiros

@beingatoaster

@cipheramnesia

@dykeredhood

I tagged 1,223 of my posts in 2022

#lmao - 24 posts

#lol - 21 posts

#:3 - 9 posts

#yeah - 7 posts

#great post op - 5 posts

#yeah... - 5 posts

#o7 - 5 posts

#this guy gets it - 4 posts

#it doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works - 4 posts

#cymru am byth - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#maybe the biggest change will come when we won't have to change much at all / when maniacs holler 'grow grow grow' we can choose to be small

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Got jury duty coming up? What better time than now to learn about the extremely cool and good things you can do on that jury if you get empaneled? (because learning about them after you've been empaneled is a crime)

710 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#4

Hey gang, guess what!

Chicken Butt

🐔🍑

847 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#3

Not sure I'm the exact right person for this oral history, but since the birdsite is imploding and advertisers might fucking try some shit over here it's a good time for all of us to remember everyone's favorite meme: "John C Miller, CEO and President of the Denny's Corporation, is a Capitalist Running Dog and his wealth must be seized and redistributed to the people”

Back in '16 or so, Denny's had a reasonably large presence on this site, from a non-artistic standpoint it's fair to say that whoever was running that blog did a pretty good job of keeping up to date on the current memes and staying relevant. Many of us, myself included, kinda just got used to them being here and let it happen, gave it little thought, maybe gave it a chuckle from time to time. At some point someone was like 'actually it sucks that a major corporation is trying to hang out with us and be our friend, they were, of course, absolutely right, and their genius response was to create a meme that they couldn't fucking coopt, hence "John C Miller, CEO and President of the Denny's Corporation, is a Capitalist Running Dog and his wealth must be seized and redistributed to the people" became the fun new thing.

"Coopt this you old so and so" was the idea and it worked pretty well, they did try it, but in a way that clearly was dancing around the central premise everyone knew they wouldn't be able to engage with. They stuck around for a little while longer, but it was clearly a major turning point in their ability to use this site to hang out with us, a good thing.

The point, as advertisers try to find new, less feral places to spend their advertising budgets, is that we don't have to just ignore them, that's a good start, but we can bite their fucking hands if they try it. We do not have to play nice with advertisers trying to be our friends, we can be feral.

Anyhow, I definitely am not positive I've gotten every detail right, so if there's any major corrections anyone needs to add, feel free, memedoccumentation had a post about it that helped me refresh my memory although my analysis of aspects differ from this point in history, as it were, but if you want to read up a bit more this is a solid starting point that has some fun examples

1,325 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#2

Happy 13 year anniversary (July 25th 2022) to the last time the United States raised its Federal Minimum Wage! In an astounding and unacceptable transfer of wealth to the already wealthy, it's lost a full 27% of its purchasing power since then!!

7,355 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

BTW don't click any NYT links today (December 8th 2022), the NYT Union have called for a digital boycott in support of their 24 hour walk-out

10,405 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[abandoned-as-mustard]

ALTERNATIVE PROPOSED TIMELINE PART 3!! (yes, really).

in the same day i’m back. because im a fool, MLB’s fool, trying to invent sense where there is none, because i stick my middle finger to the sky and Thomas Astruc’s logic, but whatever. May as well give you at least a few options to choose. This kinda blends a bit of part 1 and part 2 but is a bit more detailed than part 2. Am i actually writing these because i might need a sensible timeline for a hypothetical fic that may or may not actually get written? maybe.

preface: So, we know Cat blanc happens on St Athanasius’ feast day because it’s Adrien’s 5th name day (saddling a kid with 4 wasn’t enough, Gabriel?). Catholics celebrate it on May 2, and France is Catholic. If you google the feast day it’ll tell you january 18th (the byzantine one), which is why i made part 2, but well, France isn’t Greek. lol. It also probably looks more similar to the one on the Wiki, except mine blends s1 and 2. (btw love how the wiki said screw you to canon and wrote it out year by year.) Some watching orders would naturally be shuffled around but no way in hell am i writing that all out.

The usual logic applies. (As in “the writers/animators won’t do X so therefore Y doesn’t have to apply”.)

Emilie coma: June 2015. Because in origins, Adrien defied his father to make it to school, as if his mother’s (more recent) disappearance had put fresh determination and angst in him.

S1+s2: Sept 2015 to June 2016. Marinette turns 14 late 2015, Octoberish. Chronology messy, seasonal weather nonexistent, some season 1 and 2 episodes are next to each other. exhibit a: dark cupid. Snow magically appears in the christmas special (Dec 2015) where it’s adrien’s first christmas without mum, and doesn’t show up ever again (it’s gone by dark cupid). Heroes’ day could be any day since it’s nonexistent irl, thus, June.

Shanghai: June 2016. (according to thomas there may or may not be overlap with the start of season 3). Since they’re still in the same school year and France finishes slightly later in July.

S3: July 2016 to June 2017. Cat Blanc: 2 May. Felix arrives after this on the second anniversary of Emilie, not the first. (Maybe it's 100 weeks to make it closer to cat blanc). Lady Noir makeout sometime after the 2017 new year, which makes them more logically couple of the 2017 year. (I’ll bet Alya voted for that 49,000 times.) Marinette turns 15 late 2016.

New York: June 2017. Miss Bustier announces she’s preggers and from there remains amazingly flat-bellied. irl that can actually happen lol. Mr Pigeon 51 happens, and from then on probably gets akumatised twice a day.

S4: July 2017 to April 2018. I chose July since Marinette’s shown riding off after school with Luka early on, which could finish early July, then as Marinette’s frantically talking to Alya in her Ladybug suit she mentions it’s holidays. So it could be summer holidays. Also Miss Bustier’s had the baby in March.

Ephemeral can actually be anywhere, really, but for poetic reasons i kept it around the 3 year mark. Initially, Gabriel says “100 weeks��, but given that this is now impossible (hem hem nevermind within the show itself lol), that means i can pick any date i want. unless we want to make it 3 years, which is 156 weeks, but that doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. 150 weeks would make it in at least April. Marinette is now 16 (from late 2017) and quite old enough for a boyfriend by now (heheh). 

This time frame also accomodates Qilin’s ‘more than a month late for Mother’s day’, placing it near the start of the season (but after Mr Pigeon because protective charms) and not near the end. Also makes room for Dearest Family’s January 6 setting for King’s day. Therefore watch order is still a little shuffled.

Total passage time between origins and end s4: 31 months.

i by no means expect them to continue with s5 in a way that lets me keep this (bahahaha hell i’m already going outside ‘canon’ to write this). As the seasons go on, we can expect more of these timelines to appear. If/when Miss Bustier ever gives birth, i’m going to disregard it just like they disregard other things.

[wikiangela]

911 s6e2 - some thoughts and comments as I'm watching:

spoilers ahead haha

oh shit I almost forgot about Athena's dad 😳

I love the way we kinda see it all from Athena's perspective, and everything is so echoey and feels kinda distant I guess hah

those scenes before something bad happens are always so stressful because I don't know what exactly to expect or when to expect it 😂 like, I love it, but I hate it 🤣🤣

oh my god I did not expect the guy to blow up his yard 😂 I was so anxiously waiting for him to get seriously hurt somehow and here he goes doing this 😂

awww Captain Hen 😍😍 love that so much ❤️

I figured the wife was cheating with the neighbor but they had an underground tunnel for that??? lmao how did they even manage that 😂

they always manage to do something completely unexpected 😂 God I love this show

"are you at ease" why was this so funny 😂

I'm loving Maddie, like, mentoring Noah or whatever, but... I miss dispatcher May sns 😂😂 (and May in general)

Hen is gonna totally wear herself out, I'm tired just watching her go through it all - btw those shots of her driving super tired and while eating are giving so much anxiety that she'll get into an accident or something - even though I drive, I'm still so terrified of the possibility of a car crash after I was in a car crash when I was like 6 or 7 lol -

okay, what the fuck was that popcorn scene 😂 did that have a purpose? was it supposed to be funny? cause it was kinda cringe and annoying and wtf why did they do that 😂

oh my god she's falling asleep behind the wheel - I fucking called it (I'm currently talking at my screen out loud begging her to pull over, I'm totally fine 🙂😂😂)

oh thank God she's fine but oh my god I'm fucking stressed out 😂

Bobby is the best husband, seriously, I so respect him standing up to Athena's mom, that was great - her mom is being a bit unreasonable but like, I understand it because I know, even just based on my family, how old people are - so stubborn and set in their ways, and can get offended over nothing and take everything way too personally...

random thought (because I heard Hen talk to Julie and I was like: who's that new person lol) but like: where's Ravi? I don't remember how he ended up at the end of s5 but like, did he leave the show or something??

Buck always having meaningful conversations with people on calls when he needs it 👀👀

this is such a stressful rescue but somehow it's less stressful than Hen driving 😂😂 (that car accident affected me too much lol its a miracle I drive regularly now haha)

fuck, I teared up when Hen was telling Lev about Frankie 😭 and now I'm fucking crying omg what 😭😭💔 he was on the screen for like 2 minutes, why am I crying over him 😂 they always know how to hit me in the feels

and the saddest version of don't worry be happy is just making it worse 😭😂😂

I haven't mentioned it yet, so here's my weekly pause and break for thirsting over Eddie because I can't handle the feels now lol: damn Eddie looks so fucking good, like always 🥵🔥 I really love his haircut tbh I wish he had more screen time this episode because oh my god he looks so hot and just so gorgeous 😍😍🔥 (when does he not 🙄😂) okay, I'm done for now lol

I'm loving the plotline of Buck trying to find happiness and I feel for him rn 🥺 he looks so sad and clearly this death hit him pretty hard 🥺 also, the "you always have the answers" 🥺😭

don't tell me Hen didn't pass 😳💔

oh fuck I'm crying once again, poor Hen 😭😭💔 she took on way too much, I feel so bad, both for her and for her family 😭

and now Beatrice is making me cry - damn, it's episode 2 and they're already hitting me in the feels way too much 😂 I can't handle it 😭😂

A BODY? WHAT NOW? WTF??? okay, I wasn't that invested in Athena's story so far but now I am 😳😳😳😳 I MEAN, WHAT?! what does this mean??? I'm so confused and so curious and just.... what. I need the next episode right the fuck now 😂😂

tbh I wanted to say I liked the previous episode a little bit better - but like, that last scene really made it crazy and now I'm 🤯 I loved it

ngl, as much as I felt bad for Athena, I didn't care all that much for her parents' story but the end scene made it the most interesting thing this episode 😂

I loved Hen's story and I was so worried and stressed for her (if you ever feel tired when driving, my god, just pull over pls 😂) school work and being a present mom and a wife is a lot and she was just so overworked and overwhelmed and I'm curious where her story goes now, because they built up her wanting to become a doctor so much, it'd be weird if they just dropped it now 🤔

I'm loving Buck trying to find happiness - Buck's stories are always great and I hope we'll get some more of that in next episodes

I'm also hoping Eddie will get some important storyline soon because he's just there being an amazing firefighter and looking hot and I'm not complaining but like, let's put some more focus on him pls 😂

overall, really loved it, and I seriously cannot fucking wait for the next one (like, the ending??? I won't stop thinking about it until the next episode 😂)

[thesadboisguidetolife]

19 Questions and a Selfie

I got tagged by the sweet, kind, gorgeous @vidibit so here we go!!!

What do you prefer to be called? Haha so i actually dont have a preference. I kinda just leave it to whoever im talking to. That and a lot of Latinos just use nicknames for friends and ive had tons of those.

When is your Birthday? July 12. ♋ 😊

Where do you live? Haha ok but youre not getting my credit card number. I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, California.

Thing youre doing right now? I was working on some music and had The Birdcage playing as background noise when i first started on this but i put it in my drafts to finish later and now im at work lol

Four Fandoms that have piqued your interest? The Last Airbender for sure, Steven Universe is good, love me some Batman, Lord of The Rings too.

How has the Pandemic been treating you? I mean its been up and down. Got to spend a lot of time at home which was really really nice. Lost a lot of people, which......wasnt so nice. Also not doing that thing anymore where i put off hobbies that i love for "some other time."

A Song you cant stop listening to? Currently? Empire Ants by Gorillaz ft Little Dragon

Recommend A Movie? Oooohhh well im rewatching The Birdcage and its so good 😭 that scene with Armand and Albert on the bus stop always gets to me.

How old are you? 31 omggggg i feel so freaking old!!!!

School, University, Occupation? I am a cook 😊

Do you prefer to be hot or cold? Oh 100% cold. Haha without question. I can wear layers. And i can cuddle on the couch with a blanket on. Hot tea. Cold all the way.

Name a fact others may not know about you. I have Poland Syndrome. 🤷‍♂️ haha its like a minor case but i was born without my right pectoral muscle and its definitely caused body image issues lol.

Are you shy? Haha absolutely. But ive had to come out of my shell because of work. You cant exactly be shy and shout orders around a kitchen.

Pronouns? He, him, they, them mostly but she, her on occasion. Im all over the place. Lol

Biggest Pet Peeve? Mean people. People who enjoy being assholes to others in any way shape or form. Like, it cost you nothing, literally not a single cent, to be a decent person and you choose otherwise!?!? Unless you're one of those people that want me and my friends and family dead because of who we are. Y'all can drop dead. And you know exactly who i mean.

Rate your life from 1-10. 7 is a pretty safe number haha like im very grateful for all the stuff i have in life. My immediate family is still healthy. I have a job. And the amount of amazingly beautiful, kind, sweet people who I've gotten a great chance meet here. Seriously though. You guys are amazing and i love you guys 😊

Whats your main blog? Haha definitely this one.

List all of your side blogs and what theyre for. I may or may not have a side blog thats more for........adult stuff. But its literally all reblogs from other peoples side blogs lol

Is there anything people should know about you before becoming friends with you? Haha none comes to mind. I mean id like to think that I'm a pretty chill guy who you can talk to about anything 🤷‍♂️

Heres me in and out of uniform (showing maybe a little too much bulge lol)

Only if you guys want to btw, im gonna tag @campcrow @dropitlowbandit @catgifsinthesenate @c0smoggy @cubone-attack @zelmoe @vulnerary-prince @aegisblaze @dangerghost20 for now even though i know i will post this and remember a couple of beautiful mutuals i havent tagged in a while. 😊

[feuqueerfire]

KinnPorsche Finale Episode 14 Live Blogging

Been a while since I waited for an episode since I'm a binger (pretty sure last time was 2gether one of the later episodes lol like ep 11 or smth), so this is fun!

I don't know what I want in this episode... They're gonna explain Porsche's parents' deaths, have the main vs second family shootout, and probably give us more cute Kinn and Porsche. Maybe Kim and Chay will stay broken up, not sure.

Vegas and Pete are what I'm worried about most because I cannot see any satisfying ending for them. If they somehow speed it up real fast so that their arc kinda ends/has a happy ending in the finale, it might cheapen their story and not really hit. If they keep it dangling with nothing resolved, I'll be annoyed because who even knows if season 2 will come to fruition, if it'll be good, if I'll even be into BLs then, agh.

Idk idk, here's to hoping for the best I guess.

Episode 14 (July 9)

dang I was hoping at least an 1.5 hour episode but it’s less than 1.4. hope they can wrap everything up well

lol watching the whole opening credits and Previously for the first time since it's the last time

Bro the Porsche and Korn interaction is so confusing to me. Is this scene of Porsche at this house a flashback? Porsche somehow managed to bypass all guards and hold Korn at gunpoint and was just able to leave (with Vegas no less, was that man and motorcycle just hiding in a bush?) the premises no biggy after finding out Korn’s his uncle?

okay yeah that was a flashback

of course Vegas’ father Gun killed him lol I wish they’d made Korn the murderer, then it’d be like both sides are bad instead of acting as if only Kan is scum and Korn is fine and chill narratively

Aside, will we learn why Korn was telling Porsching that that random old guy killed his parents? He really was gonna let Porsche murder some man thinking he was getting revenge lol

Korn was better as someone who had a slight edge with the possibility of being a terrible person than soft-spoken “I did it all to protect you uwu” even though he kept everything from Porsche and Chay and didn’t look after them well lol.

I hope they somehow turn it around or there's another plot twist and Korn's evil

Is this the first time Kinn and Kim have been in the same frame together? fucking finally I suppose

Tankhun for real the only one I even semi-care about. His crying :(

What was that gaze Kim and Chan shared?

btw no dead body was seen lol

oh, Korn was poisoned?

I missed Kinn the ruthless killer. Seems like wherever episode 1 Kinn ran off to finally came back, though ep 14 is too late

lol Vegas using a bodyguard, one of his own no less, as a human shield is uhhh so good. terrible motherfucker, truly

did they still not give their bodyguards bulletproof vests? At least Chan should’ve had one, mans went to go greet Gun and Vegas

Chan choosing his last breaths to be cigarette smoke

fuckkkk okay Pete and Vegas actively shooting at the other’s side right now. I’m so anxious to know how it’s gonna go down

hello Porsche

I read a spoiler kind of where someone said they wish Vegas and Pete had a little more of a buildup, so I’m assuming they actually get together here?

oh hello, random lady with guns

girl random-ass scene of Kinn and Porsche pointing guns at each other where it doesn't mean anything and has no tension. It's still cute though "I'm not on the main family's side. I'm not on the minor family's side. But I'm on your side." with the last sentence being slightly softer, aw.

Also, I don't even know if I believe Korn lol mans was a liar

Vegas really kicked Porsche's face lol aw my motorcycle besties frenemies :(

:O Vegas really went @ Kinn "Should I shoot first your Head. Chest. Or Heart [points gun at Porsche]" that's romantic lol

selfish, selfish Vegas keeps using his guards as shields <- compliment, by the way, I like that he's still literally terrible and dishonourable

love Tankhun and Arm and their funny little destructive gadgets

yaaas Erika

There's like no tension in this fight anymore since they decided even this needed to be comedic but like it's cute I guess. The show can continue to disappoint in the same way even in the last episode

they really got Chay playing video games while people shooting and fighting in the bg

ooh okay Gun flipping the narrative. I don't trust that man but I'm slightly more likely to believe him maybe because he has no reason to make himself look good lol, he's literally storming the main family and killing people without remorse

Oops, read another spoiler that apparently Korn shoots Gun. So guessing the no body really did mean not dead

did Gun have a romantic interest in Nampheung or something?

lmfao okay that actually made me laugh when Tankhun accidentally made the gadget go off and Arm and Tankhun just stared at each other

oh wow, Pete actually shot Vegas, wasn't expecting that tbh O.O

Damn, Pete for real just going ham punching Vegas face as he should. I'm glad they're showing Pete actually fuck Vegas up

60% of what Vegas has said in this episode has been in English so far wtf

aklsdjfkalsd;fj BITCH "If I die today, could it be you who kills me?" Vegas asking Pete alsjdfksdf it reminds me of Vegas' "If Kinn asks you to kill me, could you make me not suffer?" @ Porsche but this is even more askldfjsdklf romantic and dizzying. Although, is the manipulation level less or more or equal?

Kissing after Vegas asks Pete to kill him kind of and says "I love you" (which: hmmmmmmmm) and with blood in Vegas' mouth due to Pete punching the shit out of him ummmm <3

Vegas pushing Pete off and running away (with a gun), so true. His survival instincts are not drying up just because he's in love or whatever

Pete my love wiping his mouth on his arm before running after Vegas with the gun

I was thinking that maybe Vegas would have to sacrifice himself somehow (jump in front of a bullet for Pete or something) but lowering his gun in front of Pete and also letting himself get punched are like smaller sacrifices that still align with his character, so I'm not mad

lol Korn

omg I was like no body for Korn means he's not dead but that applies to Nampheung too ?!

Dang Vegas sexual assaulter, his father Gun sexual assaulter

how come they showed so many versions of the flashback to Porsche's house on that day but now that apparently the real truth is coming out, they're just describing it with words

no way Gun got shot in the head just as he said "The truth is Nampheung is..."

Anyway, they really had this woman come, be timid for 3 seconds, then faint lol Even in the flashbacks, it was her fainting

I... guess I can't be mad at Kinn for stepping in front of his father so that Porsche doesn't kill him? Even though I'm team Porsche-should-kill-Korn (but only after finding out all info). The reveal that his mom has been alive and hidden away all this time is so... anger-inducing? to me at least lol Porsche hardly has any rage

Ew, Korn called Porsche his nephew

Damn girl they all really just waiting and staring as Vegas tries to process that his father's dead and aims at Korn

Oh I see more bodyguards came

Pete's confession, resignation, taking off his uniform...

Sorry, why is Vegas covered in his own blood and sweat and contemplating killing himself so... I really don't know the word here and the words I'd usually use (endearing/attractive) don't apply here. It is wild and captivating

they keep talking about Pete being hungry

Everything Pete says is killing me by the way. "Why do you keep saying there's nothing left, I'm right here." "You dare to push me away!?" "I'm your pet, aren't I?" "So I had to come find my owner" :) Dead ha ha

Here's the thing: I needed Pete to be the one who pursues the relationship, who explicitly tells Vegas he wants him. But also, Pete was doing so much of the heavy lifting that it's like bruh, Vegas, after all you've done, how dare you push Pete away (in his own words)?

BITCH! No fucking way!!!!! No way some random bodyguard just shot Vegas right now (and then got fucked up by Pete lol)

How much do we believe Korn? Agh, he's a dick fr though

bruh Chay finally realizing lol

Did I read something about Porsche being the head of the minor family in one of the fics I read?

a one-month time skip

Porsche being head of the minor family would hit a lot more if I didn't care more about Vegas than Porsche at this point. Either show me Vegas being head or show me Vegas' anguish at losing the potential title, idc about seeing minor family's guards bow to Porsche

These rings mean nothing to me because I have seen fairly little of the power/influence/dangers of being the head of the minor/major families. These bitches were having fun little polaroid dates in broad daylight and doing very few crime things throughout the series

This show really deprived me of brotherly relationships considering just how many sets of brothers there are. Only Kinn and Tankhun could be counted and I wish Porsche and Chay had more interactions but nah, they really said fuck Feu

rip Chay. So no KimChay endgame for now?

lol speaking of the major and minor family rings meaning nothing to me, they're all just drinking and celebrating now in public like there is no difference to me so this "significant" event is like k, what changed except status perhaps? It's not like y'all do any mafia shit

I don't care about happy cute Kinn and Porsche, give me more VegasPete right nowwwww there are less than 10 minutes left and I'm about to scream

Tay asked about Vegas so I really thought we were going somewhere but it's just more KinnPorsche wtffff

Not Korn looking at Kinn and Porsche's cute photo sent by Tankhun and saying "History is written by the victor" lol yeah I guess we'll never really get the truth about what happened

Okay so Nampheung definitely remembers and hasn't lost her memory for real, right? The expressions she had while meeting Chay and Porsche...

What do you mean end... we get no VegasPete? After credit scene PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Okay whew, there's after credits and even though it's only 2 minutes, I'll have to take it I guess

It's actually interesting how night and day my reactions to VegasPete vs KinnPorsche scenes are rip. Like the plot/action/violence scenes are like excitement 4-6 depending on how interesting the plot point is, KinnPorsche are like 3-6 and VegasPete are 8-9, I'm literally smiling wide because I'm about to watch the final VegasPete scene of the season and I just read that it's a cute scene

Vegas saying it's alright if Pete wants to run away now

Vegas, bro, it doesn't matter if you "have nothing" now it's not like Pete's after your minor family title

"From now on, you're not my pet. You're the most important person in my life." Those titles aren't mutually exclusive by the way

lmfao Macau saying "That's pretty fast. You're absolutely something" @ Pete like well buddy you have no idea

Okay, cute, sure. Is it quite what I wanted? Especially after how dark the rest of their story has been? How much depth it had? Not quite but like sure. Fine. Cute. Somewhat unearned and the shift from Vegas getting fucking shot x3 to that was certainly a choice but like still cute. Too cute and like family-friendly fluff, I might say, considering their relationship thus far but sure why not. (EDIT: It's been less than 24 hours but there are a handful of VegasPete post-canon fics already and I'm reading through them. I think the ones that write this hospital scene or a bit after it with an edge are doing really well and delivering what I would've wanted. The ones that are like Pete can be both Vegas' pet and the most important person in his life? Yes. Exactly what I'm looking for right now)

That was a fairly fine finale as long as I think 0 thoughts about it (VegasPete garage shootout scene + pool side scene not included). The shootout was fun enough, I liked getting ruthless Vegas using bodyguards as human shields. The mystery/explanations of what happened to Porsche's parents were... well... The writing's weak but also how can Porsche be so happy and calm about it? Shouldn't they be angrier and more distrustful of Korn? For hiding away their mother, for leaving them to fend for themselves, for lying to Porsche about what happened again and again (no but literally who is that man who Korn was like hm he killed your parents). It's just kinda interesting that the audience is like wtf Korn is evil but they made Porsche so stupid and somehow complacent that he doesn't see/challenge Korn. I didn't give a fuck about the major and minor family stuff (why is Porsche even taking the position? I guess it's in the book?), like they do way too little mafia stuff to care about things like this lol

The two VegasPete scenes were so good because it felt like them and the after-credits VegasPete scene felt too cute for what we've gotten of them so far but it was still good because it was cute and we get a cute little family with Macau there as well.

Also, I went on Twitter and knew that there was of Vegas and Pete in a white room, so I knew Vegas wasn't dead when he was shot because that scene wasn't there yet. I wish I'd just finished watching the episode before going on Twitter lol, I think the pool side scene would've impacted me a lot more if I didn't know 100% that they had a happy ending.

Overall:

Extremely weak plot. Extremely weak character development for Kinn and Porsche. How did they manage to make me not at all care about, and sometimes even dislike, KP when I was literally so ready to love them? I was even reading fic for them from before the show aired. Many side characters are under developed and thus don't hold any emotional weight (ex. Ken and Big). Also, Kim's love life is a dead-end and also his investigation didn't turn up anything, so there was no progress for him lol. Korn's evil, the audience can tell but the characters cannot for some reason. Also, the weak writing meant the pacing was off and we spent a lot of time meandering or watching stuff I hardly cared about. Not to mention the plethora of plot holes or the many story threads they just dropped/forgot about.

Vegas and Pete were freaking great. Unexpectedly great considering how weak other aspects of writing were. If there was just a bit more meat to their story after Vegas is shot in the this episode and before we get cute, adorable, cuddle pile with no problems, they would've given me everything I wanted. I'm just amazed they gave me nearly everything I wanted. Not to mention my ultimate weakness: food as love language.

Great acting from the cast, very impressive considering it's the first acting job for several actors. Would be curious to see them in more.

It looked sleek and like there was money put into the show, which there was.

If there's a next season, please get better writers my gosh.

I think the rating is actually more like a 6.5 on enjoyment scale but I'll give it a 7 because I'm reading so much fic. It may not make sense why that would affect the rating of a show but for me, it does make a difference if I care about the characters enough to go seek out more content about them and for VegasPete, I do. I hope someone writes a good fic about what happens in the 1 month that gets Vegas and Pete to become so comfortable and cute instead of Vegas apparently having just woken up then.

Rating: 7 7.5/10 [Oct 29, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs]  7/10 [Jan 24, 2023 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs]

Tiktoks I <3ed:

Before I started watching KP:

Ep 3 Drunk Porsche on the pier being cute and wiggling his feet - I thought this was sooo endearing

Ep 5 "He used to stare at Kinn with longing eyes. 🥺 Now, the spark is gone." of sparkly eyed vs cold eyed Porsche (bg: Ang Wakas)

Ep 6 Porsche watching Kinn struggle before producing a lighter

Ep 4 Behind Apo playing around with the condom and lube Big had Porsche deliver

Ep 7 Vegas' bathroom where Kinn slaps Porsche + Porsche slaps Kinn even harder - this killed me by the way :) Porsche smiling at Kinn then it dimming as he realizes Kinn's serious and Kinn's angry little punishment face slap was a lot lot lot for me personally um I truly considered starting the show right then and there

Ep 6 Kinn letting Porsche go at the end + Porsche coming back for a kiss - this was so touching to me, this also made me consider just starting watching

Ep 9 Chay confessing to Kim and the cheek kiss and hug - I was quite into them from the tiktok clips I'd watched of them lol so it's a little disappointing that I didn't really feel anything in the actual show (bg: Thodi Der - so it worked the magic that hindi/urdu songs work on me for edis lol)

Ep 10 KimChay cuddling

Ep 7? KimChay sitting down edit to Kim: You say how I got your address? Don't even worry bout that bro

Ep 7? KimChay hanging out and it seems like Kim's endeared by Chay (bg: Training Wheels - Love everything you do when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do"

Ep 7 Kim finding Chay's bedroom filled with WIK merch - I actually didn't know it was WIK merch or that Kim was famous at the time so I was like lol is this a Secret Crush On You Toh situation. I only watched the 1st half of the clip too lol I just got the jist

Chay, Porsche, Pete -> Kim/Porsche, Kinn, Vegas edit (bg: you shouldn't mess with me because if you mess with me, you're messing with my family)

Ep 10 Kim looking at Chay leaving the couch with kind of fondness (bg music says 'are you falling in love? have a feeling you are')

Ep 11 Chay confronting Kim + Kim leaving him

Ep 11 Vegas smiling noodle scene (bg: Khoya Khoya) - also saw a clip on twitter of this but with subs like Pete spitting it all out + Vegas eating it. Or was it the pill mouth-to-mouth scene? I think it's the pill scene actually, that one on Twitter made me willing to watch more spoiler clips on tiktok

Ep 10 Vegas electrocuting Pete precursor

Ep 11 Chay confronting Kim "Have you ever loved me?" and compilation of Chay from Kim's POV

"I wanna be your slave, I wanna be your master" edit including all 3 couples and the lyrics fit quite well

Ep 10 Reaction Barcode literally Gripping his pillow and saying "oi" when shirtless Vegas comes on screen lmfao

"Vegas showing what he's going to torture Pete with" but it's Bible showing his gears? electrical stuff? (bg: Welcome to Vegas baby lol)

Ep 11 full noodle interaction with subs - this is probably what I was thinking of in the abone noodle scene lol

Ep 7? Chay describing his crush + KimChay interactions (bg: Tum Jo Aaye)

Ep 4 Apo hiding behind the curtain + getting exposed while Kinn's tryna have sex

Ep 12 Vegas and Pete's sex preamble

Ep 12 "Why didn't you run away" + talking about Vegas' hedgehogs - I didn't fully watch this clip back then when I liked it

Ep 12 Vegas realizing something's wrong + mourning his hedgehog - also only watched the first part of this clip back then

Bible "jealous" of Build and Tong

Ep 12 Pete reading blood type information from Vegas' book - also only watched the first part of this clip back then

Ep 12 Vegas and Pete's sex preamble but make it kinda sad (bg: Glimpse of Us)

tbh I don't know when I started liking tiktoks after I started already watching the show lol I started watching June 27 and these tiktoks were posted June 25 because that's when ep 12 came out but did I like them later on? Don't know. Everything after this next one is from after I started watching for sure 100%

Ep 12 Porsche backing down from killing the old man after seeing his granddaughter (bg: Unconditionally by Katy Perry x another sad song idk)

Tay edit to "He needed more than me"

Minor Family edit to Punk Tactics

Ep 13 Vegas Pete meeting again in Yok's bar + Pete unable to shoot Vegas

VegasPete and Not Me ToddBlack parallels

some Twitter Space chaos from the cast

Reaction to episode 11 Chay crying "The reason for Kim doing this? Better be good!" "Is this the helicopter scene? How am I supposed to watching this and my baby cryin'? I don't wanna see this man get slopped, I wanna fight Kim!"

Vegas and Pete cute interactions before uh episode 10

[severedhues]

Going back to your post about calculating BTR showverse ages (first of all it was amazing btw) I was wondering, did you believe that the years were accurate? Like did it all take place in the year of when the episodes premiered or did they have different canonically years like some tv shows do?

Ahhh thank you!! 💖✨To be honest, I don’t think the years were completely accurate, but I think it can go both ways depending on how you look at it. When I was making the BTR showverse ages post, I was basing it off of the episode release dates—call it chronological order if you will—mainly because it made the most sense to me. After all, growing up I thought I was just watching a bunch of “high school” hockey players from Minnesota making music while getting into wacky hijinks.

And for some episodes, the chronological thing kinda worked! In “Big Time Tests”, which was released on June 27, 2013, Logan takes the MCAT exam. According to this website, the summer session for the MCAT takes place between June and July. Although, assuming that Logan was “graduating” from high school, I don’t think one can go straight to med school from high school without earning a bachelor’s degree first class (unless there are special programs out there that do offer that, but then again, idk jack abt anything and that’s just my overthinking brain for you lol). Chronological order should make the most sense, because it’s easier for our brains to comprehend/its what our brain defaults to, right?

But then we hit a point in the BTR showverse where chronological order gets questioned, and I get confused and ask myself, “so are the guys still in high school or....?” I mean, I know the guys were in their 20s when they were casted to play 15-16 year olds, but season 4/a little bit of season 3 hit a point where they all looked like borderline college students. Maybe it was around the time James and Kendall had similar haircuts. And apart of me sometimes questioned whether or not they were (at least at the time season 3 and 4) still in high school.

Thus, here are some reasons (not saying that they’re good ones) why I think BTR could’ve had different canonical years:

In “Welcome Back Big Time”, the guys are to perform at Rocktoberfest, which judging by the name, we could infer that it takes place in October. According to the BTR wiki, the original air date for this episode was September 25, 2010 (USA) and January 28, 2011 (CAN).

The last time the show has shown the guys in a school setting was “Green Time Rush”. And for the rest of the show (minus Big Time Prom Kings i guess?), the guys are never shown in school/doing school activities again. Did they finish their high school studies early? Were we supposed to assume that the showverse guys were continuing their studies behind the scenes? I don’t know, chief! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Either way, we really got deprived of a “Big Time Graduation” episode 😔

In the How To Rock crossover episode with BTR, “How to Win an Election” (which aired about two months before season 3 of BTR premiered), main protagonist Kacey asks the guys, “Don’t you guys remember what high school was like?” Later on towards the end of the episode one of the guys (I think it was Logan?) said, “We talked it over and we ended up sharing our embarrassing high school stories.” This implies the guys have finished their high school studies and are no longer attending school. Whereas, in their show, the guys are still (questionably) portrayed as high schoolers. But then again, we don’t know if the guys were playing their showverse characters or as their irl selves.

At the end of a day, I’m just an overthinker of a fan over-analyzing one of my favorites TV shows lol. So who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong? What’s canon and what’s theory? I just find it fascinating to find the logic in a show that has left me with many unanswered questions. Like how come Carlos was affected by Gustavo’s shock system in “Big Time Strikes”, but in “Big Time Break Up” the metal plate in his head makes him immune to the shocks from Logan and Kelly? Or what happened to Stephanie King and why did no one acknowledge her disappearance after “Big Time Dance”? And just like the amount of licks it gets to the center of a tootsie pop: no one really knows.

[speckeltail]

Susie legion

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: The concept of Legion is a super fun, engaging one, even if in practice it was kinda underwhelming. As a character, Susie as a kinda shy, naive hanger-on that got in so far over her head and is now struggling to stay a part of her gang, being forced to kill people when she isn’t even all the way grown up yet and definitely wouldn’t have chosen to in the first place-- that’s engaging.

Why I don’t: Hate how fandom infantilizes her at times. I tend to never specifically hate a character for how they’re shown in canon, unless the devs fuck it up (see: Doc, Julie’s tome), with some notable exceptions that I think have just been poorly conceived and written from the start (say, Mustafa Ali leading Retribution, also bc out of kayfabe he’s I think said he’s unhappy with it because he doesn’t want to be playing a villain; it makes no sense with his previously established character and he’s clearly not having a good time playing it, and Retribution is ALSO clearly thinly-veiled Antifa or whatever so we’re supposed to think they’re villains bc mr mcmahon is an old fuck), and at that point it’s not even hatred for the character themselves; I fucking HATE Freddy but can’t deny that he’s a PHENOMENAL villain and the visceral, passionate hatred I have for him makes me root against him and for the heroes, and I love seeing him get what’s coming to him. In wrestling terms, that’s called heat, and it’s a good thing and good villains should be able to generate heat. After Doc’s tome, I’m like a skittish feral animal, I don’t trust them to not wreck him further-- they took a great fckn villain and decided to depart entirely from one trope onto another, which would be fine, if they had introduced an entirely new character to fill the niche! The emotion I feel toward tome-Doc is, in wrestling, “go away heat”, which is a bad kind of heat bc the audience doesn’t want to SEE the villain, doesn’t want to watch them get beat up even, they just want them to go away and for the story to continue. I feel this way toward say, Thanos too btw, purely because of how he was portrayed by the writers. A good writer can take a mediocre, C-list character and elevate them to godlike status (Kite Man. F*** yeah Kite man) and writers who don’t care, don’t know the character, have an alternate agenda, or just... don’t have time or energy to do a character justice can cause a fandom to lose interest in a character entirely. I’m sure there’s a way to make me interested in Thanos. Apologia for his abuse and shitty actions throughout an entire series of movies is not the way to do that.

ANYWAY BACK TO SUSIE. Her Lunar New Year skin is a prime example of me losing interest in the canon direction of a character. It contradicts her original lore and the characterization set forth there. If we’re to assume that these skins are legitimate/”real”, which people are totally allowed to do, it paints a very different picture of Susie.

Thank god for fic that rehabilitates her tho (ILM by @ziracona does a good job of portraying a semi-adult Susie who still has some kidlike attributes, bc ofc she’s the baby of the gang).

Favorite episode (scene if movie): N/A

Favorite season/movie: Darkness Among Us bc devs hadn’t fucked her up at that point

Favorite line: DbD does not have voice lines sadly but I love her stun noise lol

Favorite outfit: IDK I don’t play Susie. The new Chimeric Horde Blight skin is SICK though, it’s visually striking and elicits so much pathos, and I do like her default skin bc it’s unapologetically cute. Can’t kill survivors if you aren’t feelin cute.

OTP: No OTPS here unfortunately, I’m not super into shipping Susie with anyone. Susie/Meg is kinda cute tho

Brotp: Susie/Julie is super cute.

Head Canon: Susie likes wrestling. Big Diva stan if I’ve ever seen one; what’s more fun than curling up on the couch and watching pretty ladies toss each other across a ring? Gay awakening. Made her realize she had a crush on Julie bc one of the divas looked kinda similar to Julie.

Unpopular opinion: IDK see what I hate. People who like the new lore are entitled to that and I’m glad there’s someone out there pulling for it, but it’s just personally not for me.

A wish: I wish people would stop being weird about her and start being weird about Deathslinger instead

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: BHVR please stop contradicting your own lore

5 words to best describe them: Shy, fawning, playful, affectionate, naive

My nickname for them: Miss Susie Legion/Miss Susie/Susan

[stonerbughead]

maria watches friday night lights (#4)

season 2, pt 2!! (2x08-2x15)

ugh Matt is really having his Being A Stupid Teenage Boy season huh?

-lol love a good naked dude being chased scene — in this case, Smash on his recruiting trip being chased around by a potential future teammate. Classic.

(it’s kinda cute that Matt came to pick him up tho)

- the latest in season 2 being off the fucking rails: really? Riggins’ new digs include a meth lab on wheels??

-Landry confessing to murdering someone and then having his sheriff dad drag him out of the station to go home is the whitest shit EVER. Like, Landry is literally *trying* to be punished and they just won’t punish his white, cop-kid ass. ‘Murica. (I mean don’t get me wrong: it WAS self defense against someone literally stalking and trying to rape Tyra, but the point still stands that if Landry was a black kid he’d have been tried as an adult and convicted no doubt)

-YESSSSS a MySpace shoutout! we love to see it

“I hate you” - Santiago (and also me) @ Buddy Garrity

-omg Coach Taylor noticing that things aren’t good at home for Riggins and taking him in, my heart!

-Wow in just one scene Riggins charmed baby Grace, warned Tami’s sister not to shame women for eating a lot (“it can lead to anorexia, especially in girls”) and then offered to go out to the store to get baby formula in the pouring rain. What a man.

-and yes, Shelly, you fully grown woman, it IS a bad idea to lust after a TEENAGE BOY

-wow Riggins protecting Julie from the SUPER DRAMATIC TORNADO that made me laugh. Do we get to have a Riggins-Julie friendship??? bc I’d be down. We need more friendships.

-Thank you, Tami, saying “EW” to her sister watching Riggins work out! Someone has sense to know a fully grown woman shouldn’t be lusting after a teenager! Julie can lust if she wants tho, that’s age appropriate.

-DYING at Landry being aghast that Tyra’s never heard of West Side Story.

-oh god, Lyla — it is totally fair to assume your mom would tell your dad she’s getting remarried, especially if she knew you’d be seeing him — so I’m sorry you’re the one who accidentally set off whatever nonsense Buddy is gonna pull now that he knows his ex wife is “marrying that treehugger.”

“Who’s that?” “Some douchebag named Chip. who names their kid Chip anyway?” Same, Tyra, same.

-Landry, one of my biggest pet peeves is asking someone out while they’re on the clock. Like, come on! let Tyra work, boy.

-Jesus Christ it’s like everywhere Julie looks, she has to see Matt making out with someone. That’s rough.

-and oop Matt you busted bc Julie actually knows who Carlotta is!

-once a cheater, always a cheater, Buddy. And yes to Pam for being like “nah bye I’m happy now, it is over.” You treated her like garbage so here we are, sir!

-hilarious that Landry is the one who ends up throwing the first punch that gets the post-tornado, school-crossover tensions to finally boil over

-I like that they show both the fall formal and the party where everyone who didn’t go to the formal is. Nice.

-Aw poor Julie got drunk af to deal with all her feelings. This really is the season where they have Julie and Matt being sixteen year olds in the most painful ways. So maybe it’s good they’re not together during this tho I’m still looking forward to when the tide turns their way again.

-anyway, Tim is a good friend for getting the creep who thought he was “one beer away from getting laid” off of Julie.

-And....in true Texas dad fashion, Eric Taylor misinterprets everything! Noooo. We can’t have nice things.

-This Noelle-Smash partnership is definitely an interesting pairing. Two very ambitious football people courting all these recruiters while Smash’s mom side eyes them in the corner? Hilarious.

-omg not this Oklahoma tech recruiter harassing smash’s mom in the grocery store! GTFO here! Give her some fucking personal space. They really do such a good job of showing as much of the toxic shit about football culture as the inspiring, big moments.

-Aw and I love that Tami tried to help Mama Smash get the guy to go away. It’s such a familiar scene, women helping each other get a dude harassing them away. And then they have a heart to heart in the parking lot? Love that.

-omg what a throwback that Shelly TAPED OVER Eric’s football game to tape a NEW EPISODE of The Office! Love it. “Y’all should get a TiVo.”

-omg watching Tami and Eric work out arguments is so beautiful, they communicate very well! We stan a good marriage.

-wow seeing the other coach from tornado school lose his shit publicly after he knocked down Riggins was uh....wild???? This is the second time he put his hands on Riggins!

-awww Eric actually coming to apologize to riggins for overreacting about Julie when he hears the real story??? Love it.

-Weevil from Veronica Mars shows up as a friend of Santiago’s? Of course.

-WOW and Logan from Gilmore girls as a Christian radio host...tracks.

“Is that your way of telling her you like her?” Jason making a surprisingly astute observation about Tim. (And Lyla.)

-yo why would you invite your daughter’s boyfriend’s family over for dinner just to say they shouldn’t date? (And bc it’s an interracial relationship.) Southern culture is wild to me lol

-wow the racist coach from last season is now off spouting his mouth about how “no wife of mine would be working with a kid at home.” I love that Eric calls him out as sounding stupid and ignorant — you better!

-hearing that Lyla burned her cheerleading uniform is one of the most badass things she’s done so far tbh along with that dealership destruction

-off the rails update: 2x12 was toooo much!! Like, Jesus between Smash’s sister getting harassed at the movie theater by the racists who hate on smash and Noelle...and this plotline with Santiago and his old friends trashing Buddy’s place...it’s like, can we breathe.

-I could not be more excited for Carlotta to leave and another teenage boy with adult woman relationship to end.

-wow can’t believe the plotline where Riggins stole $3000 from a drug dealer isn’t ending well for him. And now Smash is getting arrested bc of those racist guys from the movie theater episode? One recap I read said that too many of this season’s plots feel contrived and I think that sums it up.

-is there any character who HASN’T worked at Buddy Garrity’s dealership at this point?!

-and yikes at all the other salespeople being mad that a salesperson in a wheelchair was hired...y’all mad ugly and ableist for that

-Tyra and Landry are....confusing

-Wait Logan from GG is an actual preacher and not just a Christian radio host? CREEPY. And he kissed Lyla? A lot to unpack there.

-lol Tim trying to woo Lyla is kinda funny to watch simply bc Tim is clearly so confounded by rejection

-I love how much space they give for Smash’s sister’s pain in the Noelle-Smash theater incident. A lesser show wouldn’t have centered her as much.

-is it mean of me to say Jason is boring AF most of the time

-yeah this dreads girl is seemingly way more compatible with Landry than Tyra yikes! Like she made him a power metal mix cd???

-wow this Smash storyline where mouthing off to the press is what gets him suspended....really checks out bc teenage boys are dumb

-I love Tami as a volleyball coach and getting to see another sport! Also as someone who’s been on a losing team I know that feeling of finally winning a game!!! Go Dillon volleyball!!! (Am I maybe currently writing a Bughead fic based on my underdog field hockey experiences? ;) yes yes I am)

-Oh shit now Saracen’s at the nihilistic Nothing Matters phase of teenage angst. Right on schedule!

-lol these two short haired blondes (white dreads Jean and Tyra) being in a love triangle with Landry is wild

-Omg jean just said, “are you a friend or are you competition?” She is not playing!

-I love Riggins dragging Saracen to practice

“I don’t want you to become at an at-risk youth” -Landry teasing Saracen while also sincerely caring about him is some of the best friendship banter on this show. The accuracy 😂

-It seems like Julie gets a lot of hate? But I think I have such a soft spot for Julie bc I was a bitchy teenager with undiagnosed mental health disorders and I just wish so much #growth for her! Also I really do miss her and Saracen’s relationship, I’m so excited I’m almost at S3 where it seems like it’s happening again?

-LOL this guy at the dmv is the first person in Dillon to be like, “no I hate football.” That tracks.

-wow Saracen is getting driven to the hospital to make sure his grandma is okay by the sex worker who was just giving him a lap dance. Amazing.

-also I hope grandma is okay!

-okay Tyra throwing her hat in the ring for Landry at the last minute? Idk I think Jean deserves the win but there’s no way it’ll happen bc she’s a guest actor?!

-awww Saracen’s abandonment issues coming out whiles he in the tub after being sobered up by Eric Taylor. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” 😭 and “your daughter left me for a better guy” - will take that crumb — first mention of Julie out of Saracen’s mouth in a minute

-hey, Landry, my friend: flirting with a girl (Jean) to get her outside then dumping her immediately is kind of a wild bait and switch. But I get it, he’s been in love with Tyra for a long time and Tyra IS right — they had a very fucked up start to their relationship so it makes sense she needed a minute to process her ~feelings~. however I definitely identified closer to a jean in my high school experience L O L (minus the unacceptable white dreads)

-these Julie and Tami driving scenes are painfully accurate, btw. Love them.

-wow the scene of Smash hyping everyone up, the adrenaline/energy of the team cheering with helmets and a classic “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” - then the whole team running out onto the field and leaving an empty locker room with just Smash breaking down into tears....#art

-alright y’all I’m gearing up for the last episode of S2! Thanks to @lockitin for reminding me this is the writers’ strike season — I was in eighth grade then and remember being pissedddd about the shortened fourth season of “the office” — so I’m fully prepared for the abruptness to come.

-I love when they parallel showing the white church and the black church

-and Tim going to church just to see Lyla makes me laugh

-ooooof Jason you cannot put on this waitress you had a one night stand with the fact that this could be your only chance to have a baby!!! Omg this poor woman who just pointed out she, too, is NINETEEN.

-wait so is Riggins doing a sports show on a Christian radio station? What?

“I think you’re really hot. Your long hair reminds me of Jesus” -Christian girls being horny for Riggins LOL

-awww Saracen being like “okay Landry you’re gonna impress Tyra right now” before that football play was a cute friendship moment for those two

-aww I love how this Smash storyline is turning out with Coach Deeks whose had his eye on him for six years my heart 😭

-also unclear to me whether Logan Huntzberger the Preacher is a fully grown adult dating a high school senior?? Biggest teen drama pet peeve once again! Stop this!

-Tami is my heroine for just leaving Eric at the restaurant fighting with her ex. “see you at home, honey!”

-I’m sorry, is Jason gonna like actually convince this girl to have a baby with her one night stand at 19??? Oh lol wait THAT ended up being the cliffhanger of the whole season? Fucking hilarious.

well I made it through season 2!!! Super psyched for Season 3, Jay has been hyping me up for it. See y’all next time! (I’ll try to post more for season 3 bc this accidentally got long af.)

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Barnes and Nobles Bookstore Report 2020 on Diversity

For those who are new to this... What I do every year since I was 13 was go to the bookstore, usually in summer and take an overview look at what is being shelved and sold. This, of course, changed with the internet. It’s a way for me (and maybe you) to get a sense of what the industry is and isn’t doing, particularly with diversity. I also check local bookstores (But my local one is closed due to covid this year). I usually note what has an hasn’t changed. It’s something that authors should be doing anyway. I don’t do it more often because it’s usually depressing. And I don’t do it near holiday seasons, since that can skew the book selection unfairly. So I usually pick a non holiday-heavy month and one that will not skew my numbers (like say, February, which is Black History Month) I pay attention to the following: - Where the books are shelved. - How many times a book is shelved (in different areas) - Who gets the most real estate and a rough guess as to why. (Usually because they are white cis and male.... no lie) - Which diversity gets the most real estate - What are the labels on the shelves and if those are separate or different from previous years. - I generally skip the children’s section since there is a yearly report for that. - Demographics of the area visually apparent v. numbers of the area itself. Who are they supposed to sell to (and usually failing to sell to) Blame the Anthropology... I’m well-trained to look for such things. - All Bookends and displays. - I usually look at all sections of the bookstore and take notes, in order. - If I have access to internet, then I also look up the authors, if I can to find out their diversity and spread. - I also take lots of pictures.

These are my notes for this year.

Demographics of the area outside of the bookstore: About 50/50 with the majority being Latinx (Black and Latinx mainly) Mostly women. (It was early, though--maybe white) Last demographics of area 2010, granted 36,226 (71.1%) White, 2,573 (1.3%) Black, 531 (0.3%) Native American, 31,434 (16.4%) Asian (6.9% Filipino, 5.4% Korean, 1.3% Chinese), 122 (0.1%) Pacific Islander, 12,146 (6.3%) from other races, and 8,687 (4.5%)  (Latinx is around 17%)

The first two bookcases at the front of the store, were mostly white cis male authors. In the new author case, this was true, as well, and mostly had well-knowns.

Considering the Latinx population, I’m always kinda feeling like why aren’t there more Latinx books on the shelves?

White and black authors. But the black authors are only there because of Black Lives Matter, which feels like it’s catering to the white people who want to know what this is about, rather than the demographics of the bookstore itself. The Magazine section, Vogue, in particular did have PoCs on it.

- The Art History Section is and always is really white. I could count the PoCs on the shelf of 6 tall shelves on one hand. All of the How to draw Manga books are by white people. I know this because I’ve looked up the authors in the past. And it’s not that Japanese don’t publish books in English with instructions, BTW... so I always find that a bit strange, especially since the author they choose doesn’t really have a manga style 100% but mixes in American Comic books. (But that’s a separate thing.) They mostly had known PoC artists, acceptable to white people. - The Cookbooks don’t cover Africa. They had one African American cookbook which interested me. (Labeled Soul food and had a Black author), but the books mostly were for “French” in the international section. A few Korean (2-3) and I didn’t spot many other regionalities. I looked for Indian, for example.

- There were SFF books front of the store, which surprised me. Might be because there were PoC authors and the majority were PoC. (Also Black Lives Matter skewing) - All of the seating was removed (probably because of covid) I usually use it to sort through books I want...

- No Surprise, the same location for featured “classics” as last year and all but one were written by white men. The token book? Arabian Nights. I’m not sure that really counts since it was compiled by a white guy. (Believe me, I had thought like where is Jorge Borges? Marquez? etc) Most of the authors were white cis and het too... - The recommended section... by looking, mostly white cis het men. - Danielle Steele was shelved in General Fiction section. Actually several genres were shelved together there. Some Science Fiction, Some Fantasy, Some Romance, Some Historical Fiction, etc. There was no special section for Historical Fiction. (Not popular? Used to be back in the day...) There’s no LGBTQIA, women’s or African American section, even in the non-fiction. I have mixed feelings about taking it out of the non-fiction section. I like it combined in the Fiction section. They also took out all of the sub labeling except for major transitions. (Labeling individual shelves as containing something) - Diminished Latinx books in the Classics (Shelf) section. This has not changed... and it still ticks me off how white and cis het (also leans towards male) it is. - Increased black authors overall. Octavia Butler was Shelved twice, for example. Toni Morrison got a bookshelf all to herself (probably because of her recent passing). Nnedi Okorafor actually showed up on the shelf. Rena Barron was triple shelved--once at the front of the store and in two sections of the bookstore... So apparently B&N have a lot of faith in her book. - Overall, improved balance between men and women (except in the classics and recommended sections. I feel stabby about that.)

- The covers were a lot less offensive overall. (Though I had a few head scratchers on why that cover for that book, but that’s getting into graphic design quibbles) The PoC books actually had PoCs on the cover. And some of the covers were redone to have PoCs on the cover. There were no sexualized women on the out turned books. The Mystery/Thriller books, for example, has a trend of being symbolic and drawn. Kinda felt like I was staring at the old Chick Lit.

- There were less books shelved overall, because of the shelving practices of out turning the books so people could see the covers. (Even less than last year)

- The Romance Section ticked me off since I could count the amount of PoCs on the cover with one hand. But the covers have improved a bit. Jim Hines won the cover war... There was ONE LGBT book and ONE interracial book. It’s like PoCs don’t fall in love at all. What gives?

- Science Fiction and Fantasy were separated again. The amount of shelves for YA and SFF were about equal. (Which drastically changed from last year). This meant that the genre fiction was mostly equally shelved. (Mystery/Thriller might have gotten a smidgen less). The Science Fiction section was astoundingly male cis het. I even looked for authors I knew who were queer/poc, etc and couldn’t find them. Anne McCaffrey was gone completely, BTW. Oh and JK Rowling didn’t make it to the main shelves (She was in the audiobook section). lol Someone was mad. So win one, lose the rest.

- All of the “recommended race” books were written by People of color and well known. Win~ But all on black-white relations except one. (A book on my wishlist, but I pre-promised myself to not buy anything... so it was difficult to leave that one behind...) - The people with the most shelving were Shakespeare (Got his own section), Stephen King, and I forgot the third author, but he’s male cis and het too... Yeah... I know. And yes, there are authors more prolific than these authors too in history who are also PoC. - All of the books were from known and popular authors rather than unknown authors, mainly. Not like that rare find where you’re browsing and you go, “OMG, never heard of this person before.” So for me, who likes to browse and find that rare find it’s not as fun. I’ve found books pre-internet that were like that in Barnes and Nobles no less.

Overall: Improved, but I have this irking feeling the increase in black books is specifically to the Black Lives Matter movement. They care more about publicity than the cause, otherwise, other PoC groups wold have gotten better rep. Also kinda sad at the lack of LGBT. The widest diversity in the store is still YA. And as every year, I’m super sad about the lack of rep for Latinx. Seriously, didn’t you give it a thought that you might be in an area that’s not white? (I know the “But you could complain” thing... but it never worked in the past either and I have written to corporate, just so you know.) I pretty much left with this feeling of elation that it was improved, but this feeling of sickness that they were still, STILL catering to white people. (Cis het, etc). Yeah, depressing enough to want to marathon several PoC shows to undo the implicit bias type of feeling. And this area, as shown isn’t lacking in PoCs. Also, kinda have to state, I wish it was more like a treasure hunt... sometimes that’s the best part of going to a bookstore. Disappointed about the lack of a non-fiction LGBTQIA... kinda had a wish the Julie Sondra Decker might show up in that section. My ace little heart. I took 108 pictures as photo proof of my assertions (Again, Anthro training). BTW, Rena Barron should thank her publicist for convincing for the triple shelving...

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 22: 1x07 What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Today was an inexplicably good day?? Weird. Even before the watching TOS part.

My mom immediately pointed out that Christine had her hair done. Well of course! It’s seeing the fiance day!

I can’t believe she hasn’t seen Roger in 5 years.

Perhaps why she feels comfortable drunk-confessing her love for an alien lol.

Another story of a person exploring an abandoned planet and playing around with the stuff he finds there. I gotta say truly and unironically this never gets old for me.

Also another story of Kirk meeting one of his heroes. The boy likes to read, and then imagine meeting the authors.

I always get so excited just to be watching Star Trek that I miss half the exposition at the beginning of each ep.

Mmmm, underground ruins built by past inhabitants.

HavE YOU evER BeEn enGAGEd mr SPOCK?

He’s married right now.

Love how both Jim and Christine are like “I must know, I must know the answer to this.”

Christine so sure that it’s Roger BUT IT’S NOT ROGER like???? This relationship isn’t gonna work.

The cute Christine and Uhura moment in the background (is it gay?? it isn’t on its face but that lip touching moment sure is!) and Spock in the Captain’s chair.

The long shot looks like a realistic ice planet and the close up looks like boxes covered in soft white blankets.

“Beam down..............hmmmm................two security men.”

Look at all those penises.

Oh Kirk, every time a crewman dies, that’s all he cares or thinks about.

Christine is displeased to meet Android Andrea.

Kirk’s face when Roger and Christine kiss is hilarious to me?? Like he kinda makes a kissing motion? So jealous.

Kirk’s tiny little phaser is so bizarre.

Oh no! They’re....androids!! Dun dun dun.

Spock recognizes that it’s not Kirk’s voice talking to him right away like who is the REAL engaged couple here hmmm??

Smart Kirk move #1: adding “or disobey orders from her” to Ruk’s programming.

The idea of this android just tending machinery for hundreds of years is so sad.

This is my kind of action sequence: very obviously choreographed.

“How can you love him if you don’t trust him?” A very perceptive android.

Love the shocked music at the reveal Andrea is an android as if this weren’t the MOST obvious thing from the start.

She has skin and a pulse? “How convenient.”

When Christine asks “Did you [love the machine]?” she definitely means “Did you have sex with the machine?” Otherwise she would have phrased it as “Do you?” as in a continuous action, versus, a past event.

Wish Spock were here to comment on the perfectly logical machines.

Love the green pre-android lol.

So do the androids have to be fashioned after real people and if so, who is Andrea?

Smart Kirk move #2: Programming obviously false sentiments into his brain at the right moment, so Spock will know there’s something wrong.

“I am now programmed to please you also” sounds so ominous. Ominous and a big ol’ admission she and Roger fucked.

Bringing in Android Kirk to prove his believability to Chapel is honestly, watching it now, such a betrayal. Like, sending in someone she trusts to talk to her, knowing she’ll be honest and open with him, and then telling her it’s just a trick or a test? I was never so bothered by it before but watching it now, wow, Roger is AWFUL.

Stop everything it’s SAM KIRK TIME. I love Sam. Find it weird that no one else calls him Sam if George is Kirk Sr.’s name b/c my experience with kids who share family names is everyone in the family/family’s orbit picks up the nickname/middle name/whatever.

Where did his other two sons go?

Did he ever make it to Earth Colony 2?

Sorry just picturing Sam and his family seeing Kirk off and getting EMO.

Roger describing the usefulness of androids reminds me of, mmm, Dollhouse. Altered Carbon. T100.

Either Korby just generally lost his mind or something was corrupted when he became an android.

Oh Kirk. What does he love in humans? Love, tenderness, sentiment. A ROMANTIC NERD.

Mom contends, and I agree that Ruk is very stylishly dressed. I suppose he must look like the Old Ones? I never thought about it, but based on how the androids are made, they must have been physically indistinguishable from the Old Ones.

Kirk is armed now, with a giant pink phallus.

Spock sees the Captain walk right past him, without saying hi, and he is IMMEDIATELY suspicious. Just walks right away from what he was doing like lol whatever.

Now Spock knows for sure... the real Captain wouldn’t be so cavalier with official papers and he definitely wouldn’t use racial slurs!!

Kirk the honeypot. What I say every time he uses his sexuality for a purpose (not the same as being a womanizer btw!!!).

Oh Andrea DEFINITELY had sex with Roger. “I’m not programmed for you!”

Spock would disagree that saving the Captain is illogical.

“They turned us off!” I know there are other stories that go into this type of narrative more (Blade Runner) but... I still want to know more about these particular androids and aliens.

“Survival must cancel out programming.”

These androids, not counting Ruk, are like honestly not very smart at all. Kirk is very much distinguishable from real Kirk. (Just brushing off a weird attempted kiss with “it is illogical.”) Andrea is very easily confused. Doesn’t know who she’s killing, doesn’t know what she’s about.

Spock got the message!

“Your flawless beings killing one another.”

Korby is honestly a lot more interesting than I remembered. I remembered the part about him being an android, and pretty quickly the part about him actually transferring his consciousness, but... he’s so different from the Korby Kirk read about and Christine knew. Would that have happened anyway, just from his experiences? Or was it becoming an android that did it? I think there’s some evidence for the latter, like how he tries to prove his humanity and can only think of actions a machine would take. Plus all the emphasis all the way through on them being “just machines.” And it must be said, we don’t know how different Ruk is from the Old Ones, intellectually or personality wise, but we know that Kirk is a poor substitute, so it doesn’t seem likely Roger was actually all that good at his experiments yet. Doesn’t seem plausible he transferred himself correctly.

“Everything you’ve done has proved it isn’t you.”

I wonder why Ruk was the only android left? Did the others break down? Are there rusted android carcasses hanging out somewhere? Or like... rotting android bodies?

And THEN the little last minute twist with Andrea--DID she have feelings? Was she becoming human in some way?

Look Christine, your other boyfriend Spock is here!

Spock’s expression at the end totally kills me. “Ugh, fine, I GUESS I understand you were in a really WEIRD situation what with being turned into an ANDROID and all.”

I feel bad for him that he had to hear Kirk say such awful things to him. But that was the point! It had to be something the real Kirk would NEVER say!

This was a really good Kirk ep, and I definitely saw nuances in the android story that I didn’t see before/didn’t remember. Like Mudd’s Women, it put a lot of its most interesting stuff really fast into a few scenes, mostly at the end, but still overall a really solid episode.

And I’m still ASCENDING over the “Have you ever been engaged, Mr. Spock?” I can’t help it, I am a simple being.

[the-oh-in-24601]

tagged by @marius-new-hat-and-coat, thanks!! S2

Nickname: I don’t have many ppl calling me by nicknames, but my mum sometimes calls me “B” or “BB” (as in “baby”)

Astrological Sign: Capricorn

Height: I... really don’t know? I never remember, and if I did, I wouldn’t know the answer to it in feet, so... NEXT

Sexuality: bisexual

Hogwarts House: I don’t really like Harry Potter, but let’s say HufflePuff

Favorite Animal: In particular, my guinea pig Pogues. In general, I like sea animals a lot, like whales or sea turtles

Where am I from: Brazil

Dream Trip: backpacking through Europe, most specifically UK, since I at least know how to communicate in english lol

When I created this account: Some time in mid 2018, I think july? yeah that’s it

Followers: 80, thank you so much everybody who puts up with me!!!

Why I created this account: Now, this is a loooong story. I liked les mis before, had watched the 2012 movies a few times already (cried every time as one is to do) and was begining on the book, but I didn’t know there was a fandom. I only had ever seen fandoms for tv series, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and such, I didn’t knew ppl made fandoms for ‘old books’ (I’m kinda daft). So one fateful night I was seeing Pride and Prejudice crack vids that I had found by some miracle and thought “wouldn’t it be crazy if there were les mis crack vids??” and off I went!! In btw the crack vids I saw one called “enjoltaire crack” or somethin, and thought “what an odd name... is this a person? new phone who dat?” (keep in mind I was in the begining of the book, I had no way of knowing). And I was like “whaaaaaat the heck? the two laud boys? I need context”. And off I went again, ended up in fuckin fanfiction dot net, read this one comedy/mock/staged like a tv series fic where all the amis shared a house and was pleasantly surprised to know THEY HAD NAMES!!! AND PERSONALITIES!!! and I needed more, of course I did (and I rushed some hundred pages on the book too). At this point I obvs knew there was, in fact, a fandom, an looked for it on twitter, where I followed this account that reposted tumblr posts, and I thought “this is absolute GOLD, I’m CACKLING, I need to check it out!!!”, and this is how all these events brought me here.

I’m tagging @enjolras-the-revolutionary, @aroacevaljean, @exgrantaire, @autistic-lesamis, @enjoloras, or anyone who wants to do it, really

[meleiys]

MUSIC EVENT TAG GAME

I wasn't tagged by anyone ( :') sigh) but I think it would be funny. The idea comes from @otome-aeriie , but I stepped on @faerietale-mcl 's post.

RULES: we’re snooping your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then choose ten victims!

So, let's expose myself and my horrible music taste!

1. Sober - P!nk (this is an old one, omg. I love her, though)

2. My Demons - Starset (probably I am the only one who knows them, lol)

3. Alone Together - Fall Out Boy (gosh, this is one of my favourites)

4. Sorry - Halsey (this song gets me everytime)

5. Fourth Of July - Fall Out Boy (here they are again)

6. Hate Me - Escape The Faith (I didn't remember I had this song in my library, lol. Right out from my emo phase in middle school)

7. I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace (SUCH A MOOD)

8. I Am Machine - Three Days Grace (as you can see, after all this years I am still an emo child)

9. Hear Me Now - Hollywood Undead (they had to be here, lmao. My favourite band ever)

10. L'Amore Conta - Ligabue (this is an Italian song, Ligabue is one of the most famous rock singer here in Italy. This is a romantic song, btw. Kinda old too)

.

I tag all my Italian follower, lol. Dolce Flirt fanbase is kinda silent here on Tumblr. Do your best, kids!

Oh, and I tag anyone who sees this too, have fun!

[thatyanderecritic]

Deathless

Title: Deathless

Media: Book, Author: Catherynne Valente

Yandere(s): Koschei the Deathless (Or as Julie and I like to call him: “Kosher”)

Yandere Scale: 1/5 (Julie: 0/5)

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

Before we begin, Julie and I have two different views on this book. To keep things clean, I did the review while Julie did an analysis; which you can read here.

The Review:

Sigh… Kai here, back with another review. This time I’ll be reviewing the confusing and difficult to follow novel: Deathless. Bear with me as we go down this rabbit hole of a review.

Now booting Kai 2.0 … Version: Salty

Deathless is a story about… uh… Deathless is a tale about a girl named Marya (Mary? Maria? Idk how to pronounce any of these Russian names if it’s not Ivan or Dimitri.) who get whisked away by the tsar of life: Kosher- I mean Koschei and become his wife. In the beginning of the book, Marya was seduced by Koshei and his magical lifestyle. After succeeding in the three tasked made by Baba Yaga (yeah, IDFK. Apparently the Baba Yaga and Koschei are siblings), Baba Yaga gives her blessing to Marya and Koschei’s wedding. But Marya was warned that she would leave Koschei in the future and fall in love with a man named Ivan. Marya swears that’ll never happen; she’ll kill Ivan and eat his heart. Immediately starting in part 2, Marya falls in love with Ivan in the middle of fighting a war with Koschei’s brother (IDFK man, this shit is hard to follow). Marya runs away with Ivan and together they suffer in hunger and poverty. Koschei goes running to Marya and begs for her to take him back. Marya locks Koschei up in her basement (fuck man, I’m so lost) and had Ivan promise to never look in the basement. For a time, things seem to be well with Marya fucking Koschei in the day and banging Ivan at night. But Ivan, being a nosy motherfucker, looks in the basement and discovers Koschei. After Koschei tricks Ivan to give him some water to drink, Koschei regain his magic and kidnaps Marya. Now in part 3 (the final part), Marya and Koschei are living a happy married life in a small Russian town with happy villagers. Things are going swimmingly till Marya gives birth to a little girl… that little girl being the embodiment of Koschei’s death. Koschei died and Marya is freed. Turns out that Koschei had the two of them trapped in a peaceful dream within an egg. But the thing is, Koschei’s death is hidden within an egg… which is why he died (Don’t look at me, I’m fucking tripping as it is as I’m recalling the story). Now back in the real world, Marya looks for Ivan; who was dying from old age. After watching Ivan die, Marya moves on and discovers a town like the town in the dream. There, all her fairytale friends are living there as humans.Only the Baba Yaga recalls Marya and explains how Koschei’s brother won the war and turn all the mystical into the normal. Koschei is still alive in the village and Marya decided to visit him to see if he remembers her… I guess. The ending is ambiguous.

Anyways… what the fuck did I just read? Well… Julie and I technically didn’t read the full novel. Our knowledge comes from a combination of: an 11 hour audiobook of Deathless (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck), the wikipedia summary, two reviews on Deathless, and the actual hard copy of the actual book (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck). Let me just complain here and say this book is damn near unreadable and almost unintelligible. First, people talk as if they’re the goddamn Riddler from Batman. Characters were unable to straight up say what they mean, phrases have double meaning, and it was like reading the writings of Dr. Seuss’s less talented brother. Descriptions were just a fucking pain in the ass to comprehend. Everything about this book was a fucking mental gymnastics. Julie and I had to stop every five minutes to decode what the hell is going on.

You see that? All that flowery words bullshit? Marya is just throwing up. JUST SAY SHE’S THROWING UP AND MOVE ON. CHRIST. It took Julie and I three minutes to figure out what this description was suppose to be about. And this was one of the easier descriptions. It doesn’t even help that the story itself is just plain nonsensical. It felt like I was reading the words of the author after she puked out alphabet soup. Already, Deathless was basis on a Russian folktale that was already wild. With the combination of awful dialogue and confusing description, it was just a maze of a book to traverse.

I get some people will argue with me that this is a good book. For one, I probably just don’t understand it because it’s not my culture. Sure, you might be right. But so is the author… Catherynne is an American. Not Russian. Besides, the original folktale that Deathless is based on was easier to follow than this crap. Next argument some might have is that “Deathless is too sophisticated for your simple mind to handle.” No. It’s not. It’s ridiculously complicated for no reason. Complicated does not mean well written. There is nothing wrong with writing something simpler… you’re trying to create a novel that all adults regardless of age can understand. Truth be told, the writing in Deathless reminds me of the stuff you’ll find in creative writing class. This sort of story would get notes everywhere saying “Less description. More action” or “What do you mean? Clarify.” You're not the next Da Vinci code but a storyteller. Can’t tell a story if it ain’t readable. To compare this book, I would compare it to those research papers you would read in college. Lots of information but written by someone who’s trying to sound smart.

Moving on from my bitching, let’s talk about the one thing people care about the most: the yandere and characters. Based on what Julie and I were able to figure out, Koschie is the supposive yandere here. First let’s talk about him. Besides talking like the chester cat from Alice in Wonderland, Koschie was a surprisingly passionate guy who really cares about Marya. The best scenes with Koschie are the scenes when he isn’t talking and just physically showing his physical affections for Marya (lol). You know the phrase: “You look better with your mouth closed”? That fits perfectly for Koschie. Koschie’s physical interactions with Marya is the only straightforward thing with this entire novel.It was the rain in a desert. Anyways… even though Koschie was a passionate guy, it doesn’t make him a yandere. He breaks many of our rules… but the biggest one he broke was that Koschie still fucks other women besides Marya and keeps a collection of his past wives in a factory. I know the anon explains that these wives were actually Marya in another cycle? But honestly, it doesn’t change anything for us. Btw, anon, you’re seriously a champion for figuring that out. Julie and I did not know at all that this was supposed to be a cycle at all. Shit… I feel like we’re a part of game theory for trying to figure out what this author even means. Spoiler alert: If you have to do a conspiracy theory on your novel, your book ain’t that great.  

Sorry… back to Koschie. Anyways, Koschie says some pretty words here and there. He sounds pretty yandere on paper… I guess. But Koschie bangs other chicks and lets Marya bang other dudes too on the side. Sure, I guess this is a progressive poly relationship. Good for them. But poly relationship plus yandere? It just doesn’t mix. This ain’t it chief. Koschie skims on the edge of being a yandere and being not a yandere. Sure he kidnaps Marya, kill some dudes that have the name Ivan, and say some possessive shit to her, but the actions just doesn’t line up. I don’t know… with the cycle theory in play here, I just see Koschie as a broken man who’s trying to reclaim control over his life. Not exactly a yandere per say. Like imagine: getting cuckold by some normal human, over and over again. Shit, I would go crazy too. I feel really bad for Koschie for falling in love with/having a wife like Marya. Apparently, Koschie and Marya are the same type of people but idk man… Marya is kinda of a crazy bitch too.

I’ll just briefly talk about Marya now. As we all know, a female lead defines a yandere. And Marya? Yikes man. I don’t know where to start with her. First off, Marya somehow managed to be both smart and stupid at the same time. We see that she’s clever enough to solve Baba Yaga’s tasks but she so goddamn stupid. Because of her curiosity, she’s extremely meddlesome and got Koschie almost killed even though he told her not to fuck with the egg… yet she fucks with the egg anyways. Then we jump to part two where Marya is more jaded and blames Koschie for all her misfortune (Idk). It’s not like he did anything bad to her. Honestly, reading their interactions, Koschie has been nothing but a gentleman to her. Besides the fact he bangs other women and like to do some weird power play on Marya, he’s pretty chill. If anything, she brought her own misfortune herself. She chased after Koschie because she’s fascinated by magic and wanted to be part of that world. Now that she’s part of that world, she doesn’t want to bare the burden of it anymore and return back with the humans; with Ivan. Btw, Marya wanted to sort of “keep” both Ivan and Koschie at the same time (because she’s thirsty). I mean… I get the sentiment, but Koschie literally stated that he wasn’t comfortable with that but Marya had her bitchy mode where she scratched Koschie and told him not to talk to her in that way (Weird flex but okay?). Ivan wasn’t cool with the arrangement either, hence why Marya left with Ivan. But oh the irony. Marya left with Koschie to avoid suffering, hunger, and fascination for magic but now with Ivan, Marya returned back to a life of suffering, hunger, and the normal. Again, more irony, Marya and Ivan have a fight because of their lifestyle. This is the part where Koschie comes begging at her door. And Marya, only being able to think with her vagina now, bangs Koschie and locks him in her basement. Just like how Koschie did a weird power play over Marya, Marya now does a power play over Koschie. One of the more fucked up lines Marya said to Koschie was along the lines of, “Lol. Look at you. Trapped in my basement… waiting for my attention while you abandon the war outside.” Like mega yikes my dude. I know Julie and I asked for a twisted female protagonist, but we asked for a relatable twisted female protagonist. Not… this. I guess Marya is strong? But… weird. Honestly… I lost any relatability with Marya the minute she started bouncing between Ivan and Koschie. And with how… sadistic she became towards the end, I don’t blame Koschie’s action. That’s a broken man with possible stockholm syndrome at this point.

Anyways… to summarize… I don’t know what I just read. Story is confusing. Characters are weird. I just have a bunch of puzzle pieces in my hand and a couple of yandere like lines. I suppose I can appreciate Koschie as an aesthetic. He says some pretty neat things, physically sounds sexy, and does some yandere like actions. So… I give him one yandere pity point for the attempt.... He might have shine better if the story was actually good.

Overall score: 1/10