#this is far too much context for why i wont be drawing for a bit

[unnaturalceilings]

Probably not gonna post anything for supercorptober for the next few days cause I really need to focus on sewing my Halloween costume. I think I'll still try to catch up on what I've missed afterwards 🌞

[thicctails]

Summer of Whump Day 7 [Storms/Sunburns]

Okay so we’re just gonna be a day behind alright everyone? Anyways have a longer fic to compensate.

Ω

 Omega smiled as she watched Pillow walk around her room with her doll perched on his back. The salamander had, for the past three weeks, stayed by her side, keeping her company while she recovered. His presence was a welcome one, seeing how tense the ship had become. Something had offset the usual harmony of their group, but no one would tell Omega what. Whenever she asked someone, they’d just give her a smile that she could tell was fake and told her “not to worry about it”.

 From her little tucked away corner, she could observe the ship’s other occupants. Echo and Tech were doing what they had been doing ever since they had gotten on the ship, which was just barely tolerating each other’s existence. The two squadmates stayed as far away as possible from each other, which made it difficult to do group activities. Before the ‘something’ had happened, she’d used to help them make (mostly) edible meals every third night. She’d enjoyed learning about the chemistry of cooking and how different flavors went together. It had been her bonding time with them, and she missed it.

 Hunter was cleaning his blaster and Wrecker was, to her concern, sleeping again. He’d been doing that a lot recently, and it bothered her to think that he was in pain for most of the day. She herself wasn’t feeling too great, nearly dying from a landslide did that to you, but she couldn’t imagine feeling like this all the time. How he managed to still smile at her, she’d never know. She wished that she could help him somehow.

 A light bulb went off over her head, and she reached towards a small pile of datapads that she was always trying to add to. There was a datapad about the local wildlife and plants on the planet that they were on in the pile somewhere. Tech had given it to her when they had been staying in the medical centre, the two of them bored out of their minds. Shuffling through the pile, she easily plucked out the one she wanted. Patting the space beside her, she began to scroll through the information on Scarif’s plant life. Pillow waddled over to her side, his head leaning on her knee. He’d grown in size a bit, but not enough to where it was really noticeable. She only noticed it because Pillow spent most of his time with her.

 “There! That’s what we need, Pillow.” She said, showing her companion the image she was looking at. It was a bright yellow flower with purple-tipped petals. The description said that it was often used to treat migraines.

 “Come on Pillow, let’s go see if we can find some of these flowers. It’ll help Wrecker feel better, and, between you and me?” She leaned down and whispered to the amphibian. “I’m getting really tired of being in the same ship as everyone else right now.”

 Pillow huffed in agreement and crawled onto her shoulders, draping himself around her neck like an exotic feather boa. Making no effort to conceal her leaving but also not drawing attention to herself, Omega made her way to the ship’s exit. Her leg wasn’t exactly pleased with the movement, but she put aside her discomfort. Checking the datapad for the general location of the flowers, she and Pillow set off into the tropical forest.

  Meanwhile, inside the Havoc Marauder…

  Tech rubbed at his eyes, tired of reading through an endless slog of rumors and unfounded reports of Jedi sightings. His efforts had not gone completely unrewarded, as multiple sources had cautiously whispered about a Jedi having been glimpsed on a distant moon. Selrahc Eluos, that is what they said her name was. It wasn’t much, but they would be unlikely to find much else.

 “Hunter,” He called, getting the brooding clone’s attention, “I may have found something.”

 Hunter didn’t look too pleased with Tech’s announcement but came over anyways.

 “There have been reports of a Jedi hiding out on a remote moon called Una Vere. Of course, seeing as how these reports exist, she wont be there long.” He explained, turning in his seat to look at Hunter.

 “Hmm. How long will it take us to get there?” He half muttered the question.

 “About a day at lightspeed. We’ll need to leave right away.” Tech stood and began to input the coordinates.

 “Are you at least going to tell her?”

 Echo’s voice caused the two clones to pause. Their squadmate was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed in displeasure.

 “We don’t even know if the Jedi will still be there when we arrive, and I don’t want to upset her before I absolutely have to.” Hunter replied.

 “You coward. You’re not even going to give her the chance to voice her opinion on this?” Echo’s voice was venomous, and Hunter knew that he had tread carefully here, lest another fight break out.

 “Echo, this is for her own good. She’ll be happier with someone who can help her with her Force abilities.” He said, his voice gentle.

 “The abilities that we don’t even know she has?” Echo countered.

 “Oh, open your eyes Echo! It’s obvious she’s not a normal clone.” Tech snapped.

 “We’re not normal clones!” Echo shouted back.

 “You know what I mean! She doesn’t belong with us!”

 “Yeah? Well I’m starting to think that I don’t belong with you either!”

 “Maybe you don’t!”

 “ENOUGH!” Hunter’s yell was thunderous. “I am sick and tired of you two arguing!”

 “Well you know what? I think I’m sick and tired of you. Both of you. Give me a call when you’ve figured out how to stop being such a moronic, child-abandoning nerf herders!” Echo threw his arms up into the air and stormed out of the ship, growling under his breath.

 A soft crunch made him pause and look down. There were… picked flowers on the ground? He recognized them; they grew on vines nearby and could be used to help treat headaches and migraines. How had they gotten here?

 Wait…

 He scanned around the ground, terror welling up in him when he spotted small footprints around the ship’s exit. He ran back into the ship, ignoring Hunter and Tech’s confused yells. He made his way up to Omega’s room, hoping that, for once, things would go right for them.

 The small space was empty, no sign of Omega or Pillow being there at all.

 “Kriff!” He yelled, sprinting as best he can on his still healing leg back the way he had came. Before he can make it, however, Hunter catches his prosthetic arm.

 “What’s wrong?” He might be angry, but his brotherly instincts stamp down the smoldering emotion for the time being.

 “Omega’s not here. I think she heard us arguing.” He says as he pulls away. His anger hasn’t been calmed, and it mixes easily into his worry.

 Hunter goes pale. “Shit.” He curses, stepping back as Echo disappears from sight.

 “Mnh, wha’s goin’ on?”

 Wrecker rubs his eyes as he half sits up in his bunk. He looks to Hunter for answers.

 “We were having an argument about, well, you know what, and it seems like Omega came around when we were exploding at each other, and now she’s gone.” Hunter explained as he started to get his gear on.

 “Oh no!” Hunter’s words woke Wrecker right up, and the burly man joined Hunter in getting into his armor.

 “What’s going on? Why are you getting your armor on?” Tech appeared in the doorway, his cheeks still flush from the argument.

 “Omega heard us arguing and ran off. Echo’s going after her, but I don’t want him re-injuring his leg. He’s mad, and that means he wont be thinking straight.” Hunter said, putting his helmet on.

 “Oh Maker.” Tech said, covering his mouth with a hand. In an instant, his hateful words hit him in the face like a blaster bolt. He hadn’t meant anything that he’d said, he’d just wanted to hurt Echo, which made him feel like the lowliest scum.

 Grabbing his own armor, he made a mental promise to apologize to Echo. Actually, he’d need to apologize to Omega too, considering the fact that what he had said, out of context, could be and likely had been taken entirely the wrong way. Thinking about the argument made his chest hurt and his stomach twist, but he didn’t try and find some way to resolve himself of guilt. The feelings were everything he deserved.

   Pillow stared sadly as Warm One cried, her face streaming with tears as she ran. He didn’t blame her for crying, the words she had heard would bring any fledgling to tears. The other members of her pack had been steadily growing more and more tense and angry, especially Shiny Eyes and Grey Arm. Ever since Warm One and Shiny Eyes had recovered from their accident, the air had become sour with displeasure, sadness, anger, and building resentment. It was not a good environment for someone like Warm One, and he had wanted nothing more than to take her out of their flying metal den. Today, he’d gotten his wish, but at a terrible price.

 The adult humans had said terrible things! They were going to leave Warm One all alone! They were supposed to protect her, not abandon her! She had seen them as family, and until now, he’d thought they felt the same. Clearly, he’d been wrong. Well, perhaps not about all of them. Grey Arm had been very loud when he had been yelling at Half Skull and Shiny Eyes; he had wanted Warm One to stay. He wasn’t sure about Strong One, the human’s thoughts and feelings were often muddled by pain, but he hadn’t argued like Grey Arm had, so he certainly wasn’t in Pillow’s good graces.

 Pillow felt a pressure begin to build up inside his chest. A storm was coming. Normally, he’d be overjoyed at the prospect of rain; it had been so long since he’d experienced a good rainstorm, but Warm One had nothing to protect her from the rain and wind, which meant that they had a problem.

 He felt a flash of frustration run through his small body. Before his imprisonment on that barren, icy wasteland, he had possessed a beautiful, strong pair of wings. If he had them now, he could shield Warm One from the storm. Force, he could carry her above it, show her the world the way he had once seen it. He resented his captors for chaining him up and leaving him on that damnable planet to die, but he also understood why they did. He had not been a kind creature, and the names people had given him were accurate. The Great Sky Scourge, The White Beast, Death’s Shadow. All fitting. All horrible.

 But Warm One had never seen him as any of those things. She had given him a new name, Pillow, the human word for a squishy, soft, white thing that they slept on. He felt honored to be given such a name, because to him, it was a chance to start over. He’d been weakened by the lack of food, reduced to his larval state once again, but now that he had her, he’d have the chance to regain his former glory and use it to do good. They’d do it together. If her pack was too stupid to see her Light, he’d take care of her, just as she had taken care of him.

 All he had to do was wait until it was time to metamorphosize. And, of course, keep both her and himself safe from this storm.

 Suddenly, he was no longer around her neck. He landed in the mud, sliding a few feet away. Once he’d blinked away the mud, he realized that Warm One had tripped! He called out to her, running as fast as he could back to her as raindrops began to fall around them. He nudged her, helping her up. He missed the once incredible strength he used to have.

 Warm One picked him up as she stood, her face turning red where she had hit the ground. Her eyes were red, and tears still dripped down her face. He crooned sadly, trying to send comforting feelings over their bond. She had created the bond without meaning too on the day they met, and while he didn’t like being able to feel her pain, it was useful in moments like these.

 “Oh Pillow, wh-why don’t they want me? What did I-I do wrong?” She cried, hugging him to her chest. “I-I thought- I loved-” She sobbed even harder, not being able to finish her sentence.

 “No!” He cried, nuzzling her. “It’s not you! They are being stupid! The most stupid!”

 She didn’t understand him, of course, but she felt his feelings, and that was enough to get him a brief, watery smile. She sniffed and looked around, unsure of where to go. She considered following the path, but ultimately decided to go off into the tropical brush. Pillow wound himself around her neck again, keeping an eye out for any danger. The rain was growing stronger, and they’d need shelter soon.

  After about 20 minutes of running and stumbling, Warm One spotted a cave on the face of a cliff. She managed to get them up there, collapsing once they were inside. Pillow shook off the water that clung to his skin before returning to Warm One. She was wet and kind of cold, but not like she had been when they had still been on his planetary prison. If he kept her warm, she’d be okay.

 She was leaning against the wall, curling up into a small ball. He wiggled his way into her lap and buried into her stomach, purring softly. He remembered his mother purring to settle him and his clutchmates, so he figured it was worth a shot.

 She laughed quietly, and he felt amusement cross the bond. He smiles at that, settling down to sleep.

     Omega slowly opened her eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. She went to stretch, but found herself spinning. With a yelp, she waved her arms about, trying to right herself. Her surroundings had changed completely. What had previously been a damp cave was now a void of neutral blues and purples. Occasionally, she would see a flicker of light appear.

 “You’re here!”

 A voice suddenly rang out from all around her, sounding like every voice ever spoken and at the same time, only one person. Omega shrunk back in fear, unable to tell where the voice was coming from.

 “Oh, don’t be frightened! I’m just so excited to finally be able to talk to one of my children!” The voice said, almost sounding sheepish.

 “Who- who are you? Where are you?” Omega squeaked.

 “I am known as the Force, little star. I am everywhere.” The voice explained.

 “You’re… what?” Omega held her head, the information making her brain hurt.

 “I know its a lot, and I wouldn’t usually be this direct, but I haven’t gotten the chance to truly talk to one of my children in so long! Even my brightest star could only feel my presence, and he has become so dim lately…” The Force sounded… sad.

 “Your brightest star?” Omega asked, crossing her legs.

 “Yes. I created him from stardust, love, and the wildness of nature itself. He was wonderful, and he would have saved them all, but he was taught to suppress his feelings and push down his troubles. He loved so strongly, at that made it hard for him to let go. In the end, a poison in human form snuffed out his Light, throwing him into the Dark.” The formless presence became somber, and Omega could feel its sadness.

 “But you,” It said suddenly, the sadness being replaced with cautious hope, “I can still save you. I did not create you, that wonderful honor was taken from me, but I can see your Light, little star. It is new and bright and shining, just as his was long ago. What’s better, I can truly, wholly speak to you, even if it’s just in dreamstate.”

 “I don’t understand. I’m not a Jedi, so why are you interested in me?” Omega asked.

 “Jedi is a recent concept, at least to me. Sith is the same. They are often people who have gone too far into the Light or the Dark, and have become blind to the Balance. Any living thing can have a strong connection with me. It just so happens that you were created with that exact purpose.” The Force explained.

 “What does that mean? What can I do?” Omega questioned, not sure how to process this.

 “That depends on you, little star. Many of my children use their abilities to help people, heal them, or create bonds that will last a lifetime and beyond. However, you can also use it to harm others, to defend yourself and your loved ones, or simply hurt them because you want to. That path is a slippery slope, however, and I must ask that you be careful with how you use your anger.” The Force’s voice was soft, but held a note of warning.

 “I will be, I promise.” Omega said, not wanting to do something that could really hurt someone.

 “Don’t fear your anger, my wondrous child. Sometimes, anger is necessary. Control is the key.” The Force explained, and Omega nodded.

 “Okay, okay I think I understand a bit now.” She said, rubbing the back of her neck. “Um, if I’ve always been able to communicate with you, why did you only just start talking to me now?”

 “The stress of your life recently has been keeping you closed off from me. Today, your mental walls broke.”

 “Oh.” Omega felt her heart sink at the thought of what had happened earlier. She’d just come back from collecting the flowers, which had actually been quite close by, only to hear shouting coming from within the ship. She’d heard Tech  angrily say that she didn’t belong with them, but not much else beyond that, as she had turned and ran almost immediately.

 “You believe that they hate you.” It wasn’t a question, but Omega nodded anyways.

 “I can understand why, but you have it all wrong, little star. They love you. They love you so much that I don’t even believe my most Darkness-blinded children could tear you away from them.”

 Omega blinked away tears that had begun to form, her confusion nearly palpable.

 “They have figured out that you have a connection to me. Some of them believe that you would be better off under the care of a Jedi. They worry that they will not be good enough for you.” Omega feels a ripple of annoyance go through her, although it is not her own. “Sometimes my children can be a bit ignorant, and because they do not share a connection like we do, I cannot tell them this. The Jedi ruined my brightest star, my Anakin. They seek peace and order, but life is not meant to be peaceful or controlled. Life is chaos, wild and free. That is what many of my children fail to understand. To walk the path of the Jedi is to practically shun life itself, and the Sith are even worse. They actively destroy life, disrupting the balance. I want you as far away from that mess as possible.”

 “So, they do want me? I didn’t do anything wrong?” Omega questioned.

 “No, starlight. You’ve made their lives better. I can feel their worry for you right now, they are terrified to lose you.” The Force then began to expand, and suddenly Omega was struck with wave after wave of worry and grief. She bared her teeth in sympathy.

 “I know that they care for you, but they must learn that they are your chosen family. Not the Jedi, not another family, them. Until they fall asleep, let them worry. Let them experience what life will be like if they break the still fragile bond that you all share. I will find a way to make a connection with them.”

 Omega wasn’t sure she liked that plan. “I don’t want them to suffer, and I don’t want to be apart from them! Isn’t there something else we could do?”

 The Force seemed to consider her request. “Perhaps, but you will have to find a way to convince them that this is my will.”

 Omega put a hand on her chin, thinking. “Can you control the weather?”

 “I have some sway over certain aspects.”

 “Okay, I’ve got an idea…”

     “OMEGA!”

 Echo’s throat felt raw, the muscles sore from him screaming to be heard over the roaring storm winds. He ignored the pain. He had to find her.

 “OMEGA, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

 “Echo?”

 Echo fixed his expression into a glare as he turned. The other members of the Bad Batch emerged from the storm-darkened jungle, their armor slick with rain.

 “What are you lot doing out here?” He snapped.

 “Looking for you and Omega. Echo, you’re hurt. Go back to the ship.” It was Hunter who spoke first. Echo, still hurt from earlier, looked disdainfully at the other man.

 “No. I’m finding Omega, and I’m not going anywhere until I know she’s safe. Now get out of here before you scare her off again.” He said coldly, wincing as he put weight on his injured leg.

 “Echo, please. You can’t stay out here, you’ll get sick.” Tech said, stepping forward.

 “Like you care! You made your feelings perfectly clear back there.” Echo turned away from the group, his eyes becoming a bit wet as his hurt feelings threatened to spill out. “We’re not batchmates. You don’t have to pretend to like me. Once I find Omega, you’ll never have to see me again.”

 “Echo, no!” Tech’s voice hitched in panic. “You’re my brother, batchmate or not, I still love you! I’m so sorry for the things I said earlier. I was angry and I knew they would hurt and I said them anyways because I was being an inconsiderate jackass. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please don’t make me watch another one of my brothers die. We’ve lost so many already, and we’re going to loose so many more, but I don’t think I could handle it if you were one of them.”

 Tears pooled in Tech’s eyes underneath his helmet, and his heart strained to cope with the stress his wild emotions were causing. Echo was still for a minute, then slowly turned around, his eyes wide, but free of anger.

 “Y’mean it?” His voice was quiet and small, and it reminded Tech so much of the nights they’d spent comforting Hunter and Crosshair when they were much younger. Their enhanced traits made the darkness of the room scary sometimes, and despite the fact that he was the youngest of his batch, he’d been comforting them right alongside Wrecker.

 Tech nodded, and in the moment he had been temporarily blinded by a flash of lightning, Echo had crossed the distance and pulled Tech into a hug. Tech froze up for a split second, before wrapping his arms around Echo. Hunter and Wrecker were there in an instant, joining in on the moment of affection.

 “’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you an’ Hunter.” Echo mumbled.

 “No, we were being stupid and sneaky about things. I already knew how miserable that made her, and yet I wanted to send her away anyways. We all want what’s best for Omega, but leaving her with someone else isn’t an idea I should have entertained.” Tech replied.

 “Thank the Maker! I thought I was actually going to have to do go with its plan.”

 The Bad Batch members separated and turned towards the forest beside them. Omega stepped out of the brush, an agitated Pillow sitting on her rain-soaked head. The amphibian seemed to be displeased by their very existence. She smiled weakly.

 “Omega!” The group shouted happily. The young girl rushed into Echo’s waiting arms, pressing her head into his chest. She shivered as powerful emotions welled up inside her, her still red eyes becoming wet again.

 “Oh adiik, vi're olar. Vi're olar.” Echo���s voice was full of relief and warmth and comfort,  and even if Omega couldn’t really understand what his words meant, she felt their soothing nature.

 “Omega, I’m so, so sorry for what I said earlier. We never wanted to leave you, we just-” Omega managed to get a hand free and waved Tech off.

 “You wanted to take me to a Jedi so that I could learn to use the Force, I know.” She said, smiling at him. “I know you worry about me, but please don’t ever think that I’ll be better of anywhere besides with all of you. I love you guys.”

 Tech blinked, stunned. The other clones shared his confusion and his surprise.

 “W-we love you too, and we’re sorry we didn’t tell you that before, but how did you know about the Jedi?” Hunter asked, kneeling down to be eye level with Omega. He resisted the urge to pull her into a protective hug when he saw her shiver.

 “I’ll show you! Here, hold Pillow. Careful, though. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t forgiven you yet.” Omega said, handing the amphibian over. Pillow growled at Hunter, baring his teeth.

 “Okay, watch this.” She said, cupping her hands around her mouth. “HEY FORCE! STRIKE TWO TREES WITH LIGHTNING IF WE JUST HAD A DREAM CONVERSATION!”

 In an instant, two trees on either side of Omega were set ablaze by twin bolts of lightning. Hunter grabbed Omega on instinct and pulled her away from the burning plants, the rest of his brothers backing up rapidly.

 “Woah!” Wrecker shouted, his hands flying up into the air.

 Echo stared awestruck at the trees, then at a grinning Omega.

 “What the hell was that?” He asked.

 “The Force! Turns out I can talk to it.” She explained.

 “You spoke with… the Force?” Hunter said slowly. “Like, the Force that the Jedi use?”

 “Yep! It was really happy to have someone to talk to.” Omega chirped.

 “Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. That’s normal. That’s completely normal and totally not something that makes me really wish general Kenobi was here.” Echo said, pressing his hands together. “The Force can talk to you, and you can talk to it. Cool. Cool.”

 “It wanted me to stay hidden for a bit because I think it’s mad at the Jedi for something and it wanted to talk to you guys when you fell asleep, but I thought that was really mean, so I asked if we could do something else to convince you not to bring me to a Jedi. But you didn’t even need to be convinced!” Omega added, shivering again. This time, Hunter did bring her against his chest as he stood, Pillow making his way onto Omega’s neck.

 “I’m glad we worked things out. I don’t like the idea of leaving you out here until we fell asleep.” Wrecker said, his face becoming illuminated by another flash of lightning.

 “Yeah, I think I would’a had some choice words for the Force if you’d gone through with that plan.” Echo agreed, rubbing his arms.

“We can talk about the Force being an less than agreeable later. Right now we have two very wet and very cold-looking squadmates who are going to catch their deaths out here.” Tech fretted, ushering the group back towards the ship. The clones laughed and began walking back through the storm, their hearts much lighter and their hope as high as ever.

         Somewhere, on a distant planet, an inhibitor chip reactivates.

[whitehotharlots]

Sex panic double standard

You've probably noticed a weird double standard in regards to contemporary sexuality. On the one hand--for better and worse--there's a strong demand that we accept and celebrate all manner of sexual proclivities and behaviors that were considered weird and shameful up until just a few years ago: furrydom, polyamory, etc. But on the other hand, we're in the grip of what appears to be a large-scale sex panic, in which behaviors that were until recently considered normal or only mildly problematic are now regarded as sick and exploitative: do a twitter search for the term natalism and you'll get a sense of what I'm talking about.

This is due in part from a rhetorical mess in which several disparate concepts have gotten collapsed into one another: sexuality has become conflated with gender, gender has become conflated with sex, desire with sexuality, and so on. Some of these concepts are considered worthy of protection and the moral exemption of victimhood, while others are now cast as meaningless or suspect. Sometimes conceptualizations will directly contradict one another. More often, protected categories will be applied to some groups and denied to others on the basis of political affiliation, rather than whether those categories even literally apply. A trans woman can therefore boast about her fantasies of putting regular women into rape camps and it's just dismissed as a silly thought exercise. But a hetero guy saying he's attracted to women's butts? That's dehumanization, the sign of a sick mind.

The difference is that one party is given automatic sympathy within our present discourse, while the other is immediately demonized. The intentions and effects of their desires does not factor into it.

We see this most in regards to the age of consent, and especially in regards to the sexualization of children. All but the sickest among us will admit that pre-pubescent children do not have sexuality. They are sexed by biology and gendered by society, but this is not a sexuality. They may also display tendencies that pedophiles and their apologists regard as signs of sexuality: a child may be fascinated by the human body, or even fixate on certain parts of the anatomy. A child may intuit that sexiness is desirable. Far too often, they may be sexualized by adults. But none of this is at all equivalent to adult sexuality: not biologically, not morally.

This gets complicated once the kids hit puberty but are still minors in the eyes of the law, and this is why age of consent restrictions are by nature relative to cultural contexts. Just about every society strongly disincentivizes sexually mature minors from having sex with one another, and likewise has some formal laws against minors having sex with adults. The reasons for this are as manifold as they are obvious: in addition to the risks of disease and pregnancy, we realize that young teens are not mature enough to handle the emotional toll of sexual relationships. Even if a 14 year old gives nominal consent to sex with a 30 year old, we realize that the differential between power, experience, and maturity between those two is too great for meaningful consent to be issued.

The age of consent is not a perfect system, as internet creeps are wont to remind us. And, as much as I hate to admit it, they have a bit of a point. It's hypothetically possible for a particular 15-year-old to be more emotionally and intellectually and materially able to consent to a sexual relationship than a particular 22-year-old. But in reality, this is very rare. And since the law can't be adjusted for every single case, various cut-offs were decided upon: it's 16 in most states, 18 if the younger person goes across state lines, and there are various contingency laws in place so as to de-criminalize, say, a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 19-year-old. Again: everyone admits that the laws are imperfect, but so is basically every law, and their imperfection does not negate their necessity.

Now, until very, very recently, that hypothetical 19 y.o.-17 y.o. relationship was something that very few people would have found problematic. The 17 year old is below the age of consent, but the difference in age between the two parties is such that the relationship is no more likely to be exploitative than one between an 18-year-old and a 20-year-old. Within the neurosis of our present day, however, we've seen a fierce protection of what was once widely understood as a generalized cut-off point.

Fan artists have been excommunicated for drawing pictures of teenaged fictional characters that are arbitrarily deemed too sexy. Authors have been deemed perverts for, again, portraying fictional relationships. Most weirdly, we've seen accusations of "grooming" or even outright pedophilia against couples of differing age who are nonetheless both fully grown adults... I'm not talking about a 50-something executive banging his secretary, but, like a 40-year-old getting called a pedo for marrying a 33-year-old.

What has caused this?

I believe it's due to the problematics of sexual exploitation and abuse becoming understood in terms of identity, instead of how much material harm they cause or could potentially cause the younger partner. It all connects back to the collapse of conceptual categories listed above. People don't take stock of sexual relationships and strive to come to a honest understanding of whether or not harm has been inflicted. Sexual relationships and the people contained within them are simply either good or bad, and that designation is made with an explicit rejection of critical understanding... this is why an essentially arbitrary (though necessary) age marker is now regard as an almost biblical dictate.

But then, what accounts for this madness? Neurosis spreads, sure, but it's not like everyone suddenly lost the ability to think.

[wickedmilo]

SURVIVAL TIPS | MILO & WILLOW

PLACE: A bookstore TIMING: Way, way back when Milo first became a vampire SUMMARY: Milo and Willow accidentally cross paths, and realise they both have the power to distract each other from their problems WRITING PARTNER: @willcwthewisp​ CONTENT WARNINGS: None

Milo couldn’t remember the last time he had unironically set foot in a bookstore. After graduating uni, it all felt a little pointless. He had books, though they were at his parents’ house, far beyond his reach now. And reading felt too trivial considering the latest developments in his life. Why would he ever need books? What could they possibly have to offer him? But this evening, against his better judgement, he had been struck by the overwhelming urge to go to a bookshop. To steal back a semblance of the normalcy belonging to his previous life. With Harsh’s constant, and unexpected support, he was feeling more in control than ever before. Though his grip on his cravings remained tenuous at best, he figured he was capable of a short visit. After impatiently waiting for the sun to set, he had hurried into town, slipping quietly through the familiar door. The bell above him rang out, announcing his arrival, and the sound caused a wave of nostalgia to wash over him. Maybe he missed this more than he thought. Once upon a time, before he had allowed himself to spiral, he would come here. His mom would find new books for him to study. His dad would nudge him away from the children’s section, towards the classics that were technically beyond his reading level. If it’s easy, then what are you learning, Milo? You need to be challenged. He could still hear his tone, the exact way he would make not being able to choose his own stories sound like a privilege rather than a frustration.  

Drifting through the various sections, taking in the new sounds, and scents he had never been able to appreciate before, it wasn’t long until he found himself standing where his parents used to encourage him to stand. They would search through the shelves, talking amongst themselves to determine which novels were best suited for their son. Even now that he had a choice, he was drawn to the books they had selected for him. Maybe it was a warped sense of loyalty, maybe he missed the simplicity of having every decision made for him. Gently running his fingers along the spine of Great Expectations, he wondered whether Charles Dickens had lived in a world of vampires, and ghosts. Certainly Edgar Allan Poe had to have known about the existence of the Supernatural. It made him want to revisit the tales, search for any hint that might indicate the world had always been this confusing. Finally pulling Great Expectations from the shelf, he turned to walk towards the seating area, completely unaware of the person walking in the opposite direction. He stumbled backwards the moment he saw them, very nearly walking into them. A sheepish grin on his face, he did what he could to hold his breath. Harsh had already warned him doing so would draw attention, but he didn’t see any other option when people got so close. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” 

Willow was to the point of desperation when it came to finding the book she was looking for. For some unfathomable reason it wasn’t available anywhere that she could find online. Maybe it was simply so popular that most sellers had run out of it, but either way she’d ended up braving the trek to the bookstore after hearing they had a copy in stock. Books were one of the few ways she’d managed to stay sane in her self-appointed isolation, filling her head with stories of the outside world that she couldn’t bring herself to experience anymore. But she should have known going out into public once again was a terrible idea, and that became clear the moment she nearly collided with another being. Her eyes widened in alarm at the severity of the close call, already imagining how she could have sent the young man standing in front of her flying through multiple shelves of books.  

“Oh god-” Willow gasped as if she’d been startled at a haunted house, hand clutched to her chest as she took a few, healthy steps backwards to put some space between her and the stranger. “No, no- I didn't see you there either, I’m sorry.” Her nerves had been set on edge by the near run in, and she was doing her best to steady her breaths, trying not to think about the ten million ways this interaction could go poorly if the stranger got too close. “I was just- I wasn’t watching that carefully where I was going, I guess.” A lapse on judgement on her part. She should know better than to walk blindly when she was a walking disaster waiting to happen. 

Milo was already tense, doing his very best to hide it. But it made him feel a little better to hear the stranger’s heart pounding in her chest. Clearly he wasn’t the only person who had been caught so off guard, and clearly he wasn’t the only person so panicked by the close proximity. The relief didn’t last for very long though. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, the sound of her pulse served as an unwelcome reminder of how dry his throat felt, the new reality he was desperately trying to ignore. Before he could take a further step back, the woman had done so for him, and he watched her curiously, wondering whether she might also a reason of her own to keep her distance. “Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned for her. “No- I wasn’t looking either, it was my fault as much as it was yours!” He insisted. If he had been more careful, as careful as he should be given his current situation, this wouldn’t have happened. But he was already tired of being careful. Was one evening too much to ask for? One evening of reading books in a bookstore like a regular human being? “I, uh-” He held up his copy of Great Expectations, still holding his breath between sentences as though such a desperate gesture might be able to fix all of his problems. “I was distracted too…”

“Oh- oh, I’m fine!” Willow tried to assure, not wanting the young man to think he’d startled her too badly— even if he had done just that. “Are you alright?” she asked out of politeness. He didn’t seem very shaken, but it was only in her nature to ask in return. Forcing a chuckle, she clutched the book she’d fetched to her chest, as if it could protect her. “I think we’re gonna have to either agree to disagree, or just let me take the blame.” She wasn’t particularly in the practice of letting the guilt fall on someone else when it came to situations that involved herself. “Oh, are you reading Great Expectations?” she asked as she took in the title and cover of the book. It wasn’t one of her favorites- mostly because she’d been forced to read it in highschool, but it was still a classic and staple. In her opinion, it had ghosts that weren’t really ghosts, and that was something she’d been drawn to. 

Smiling at the woman’s insistence that she really was okay, Milo allowed himself to relax as much as he dared to. It wasn’t easy, trying to find a balance. Trying to stay aware of his surroundings, while also staying aware of himself. He could only hope one day it would become a part of his routine, something he did without even needing to focus. “I am.” He answered quietly. He wasn’t sure how true that was, but he sincerely appreciated the question. “I mean, if you want to take the blame I have a track record of avoiding responsibility.” He teased, laughing quietly at the fact that he was being entirely honest now. “I’m not going to try and stop you.” Glancing down at the book in his hands, he stared at the cover for a moment too long. There were so many childhood memories connected to it that it was difficult to look away from. “I guess so.” He grinned, offering her a shrug. “My parents made me read it as a kid… I’m kind of missing the simplicity of that, you know? My biggest worry being how quickly I could get to the end of a book.” Finally tearing his gaze away and looking back up at the stranger, he realised he had yet to introduce himself. “I’m Milo, by the way… So, are you going to tell me what you’re reading? Hopefully something far less cliché.”

Part of Willow was glad that the young man hadn’t insisted on taking the blame as many people were often wont to do. Generally that just resulted in a tiring back and forth until they found some sort of compromise, or forgot what they were talking about altogether. “Perfect,” she settled the burden of blame with a chuckle, her smile still warm. “Glad we agreed on that as easily as we did.” He seemed nice despite her nearly running headlong into him. Her head tilted curiously to the side, listening closely while he spoke of his parents and books. “Oh- well that’s...sweet in a way. And it makes sense.” She could certainly relate to wishing for a simpler time, often thinking of the days she’d been able to walk free without fear of breaking someone in half via telekinesis. “Books are a good way to forget the world for a bit.” They were her favorite method of escaping behind painting. “Oh- I’m Willow,” she replied quickly, a little embarrassed that she’d forgotten to introduce herself in the first place. “I don’t think Great Expectations is necessarily cliché,” she offered politely with another little laugh before continuing on. “But mine’s called ‘Leave the World’.”

Amused by Willow apparently being grateful he was readily allowing her to take the blame, Milo realised he was genuinely beginning to enjoy her company. His smile only growing as she talked about the ease of the decision, it was refreshing not being seen as somebody argumentative, or petulant, even if the context could barely be considered serious. “It was a pleasure discussing business with you.” He replied, feigning sincerity as he caught her eye. Raising his eyebrows as she called his actions sweet, he wasn’t sure he would use that word but perhaps from an outsider’s perspective his explanation could be seen as sentimental. “Yeah, you could probably call it that.” He admitted, absentmindedly tapping his fingertips against the cover of the book still in his hands. “I don’t know… I hadn’t really thought about it. I don’t even know why I came here really, I think I might be looking for something that’s just... impossible to find, you know?” His old life, his humanity... Realising the stranger was right, his smile softened into an open, and unguarded expression. Books were a good way to escape, however briefly. And though there were no hidden doorways here allowing him to step back into the past, maybe a brief escape would enough for now. If achieving one was even possible. Maybe it needed to be enough. “Leave the World?” He couldn't say he had ever heard of it. “I don’t suppose there are any tips in there? I could use a vacation from this place.”

The younger man’s words brought a laugh to Willow’s lips, and she was grateful for the bell-like sound as she reminded herself how few and far between interactions like this had been. Sure- she’d talked to people in her self-imposed isolation, had even seen a few humans here and there, but there was nothing that could replace the actual company of another living and breathing person. “I hope I don’t have a bill coming in the mail for this business talk,” she teased back. Her shoulders relaxing another inch while she let herself slip a little further into comfort. 

The expression on her face took on a more sincere air as her head tilted curiously to the side, a gentle nod of understanding shaking it in the end. “I think...a lot of people feel that way, if we’re being honest.” And she didn’t see any reason not to be. Even ghosts were looking for something that seemed impossible to find. After all, that was why they’d stuck around in the first place. “But I also haven’t met anyone that hasn’t eventually found what they’re looking for. Sometimes you just need help, you know?” That was the job of the medium or exorcist in her mind— to extend that helping hand when someone needed it. “And sometimes the answer isn’t what we expect, but I think you’ll get there eventually.” Another chuckle shook her gently before she gave her answer. “No tips in there unless you’re looking for ways to survive and deal with the apocalypse. But if you’re looking for some ‘vacation’ books I can take you to some of my favorites?”

Milo laughed too, his eyes shining. “I wasn’t going to but now that I think about it my rent is probably due.” He teased, unable to help himself. He could hardly consider their conversation business talk, but he was enjoying it more than he would ever have expected to. Although he liked his time alone, socialising had always come naturally to him. He had no issue with talking to people, getting to know them when their paths somehow managed to cross with his own. He missed this, he missed making new friends. His smile fading somewhat as Willow became serious again, he appreciated her honesty. It made him sad to know what she was saying was probably true, but it also helped him to feel less alone. Sometimes he just needed to be reminded of that fact. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…” He murmured, knowing the sense of relief would be temporary. How long until he convinced himself otherwise? Until his own mind erased Willow’s wisdom? “It’s easy to forget sometimes, you know? Especially when your problems are so… specific.” He admitted, offering her a hesitant shrug.  

A smile tugging at his lips again, the mention of hope was comforting, regardless of the fact that everything felt pretty hopeless right about now. He was more stable than he had been, though still not used to his new life, still close enough to his old one to actively grieve for it. “You really think so?” He asked, knowing his longing would be obvious in his voice. He made no effort to hide it, too distracted by the mention of finding answers, by the sound of Willow’s heartbeat, by the book in his hands still reminding him of his childhood. “I really hope so…” Maybe she was right. Harsh was helping him now, and things were getting better. The progress was slow, but it still counted as progress. “Thank you.” His smile became more genuine as he felt a strange rush of affection for the woman he barely knew. Apparently she believed in him, apparently she was convinced one day he might actually be okay again. “Hm, I think tips on how to survive might be more useful to me than vacation books.” He was only half teasing. “But if you’d be up for the company, I’d love to see some of your favourites.” 

“Well- you’ll just have to send over the prices so I can get a look at them. My sister’s actually better with stuff like that anyway, so I’ll probably pass them on to her,” Willow chuckled. It was true though. Meg had needed to negotiate quite a few contracts along with her manager when it came to her spot as a blossoming celebrity. She’d missed this as well. Even though she’d always been a little more on the quieter side, Willow had always loved seeing a new smile wherever she could find them. Her warm expression shifted into concern another time as Milo continued to speak of his problems. She might not have the abilities to go along with being a proper medium, but she’d still been raised as one, and along with that came a compassion geared towards helping. “Well if you ever need reminding just message me, alright? I’m easy enough to find on the town forums. My full name’s Willow Finch if you want to search me, though.” Maybe she was coming on too strong when it came to being helpful, but it’d always been hard for her to draw that line. If she wanted to help, why shouldn't she make sure the other person knew it without a doubt?  

“Of course I think so,” Willow repeated with another soft smile, already happy to see the smallest flash of hope enter into Milo’s eyes. “I haven’t met a person yet that couldn’t find what they were looking for. Even if it took time. And even if it wasn’t what they were expecting.” The poor guy. She could practically feel the desperate wanting in his voice, could recognize it because she herself was on a seemingly hopeless quest for answers when it came to her own problems with telekinesis. There had to be an end...right? But a smaller voice in her mind reminded Willow that endings weren’t always happy. Nevertheless she brushed it aside, and turned to start on her way towards her favorite section of the store. “Come on- I think we can find some books that fall into both categories,” she finished with a grin over her shoulder. 

Milo continued to smile in response to the joke, leaning into the way this woman seemed able to distract him from his problems, if only for a brief moment in time. He could see she was being genuine, that she actually wanted to help, and he wasn’t used to that. Not anymore.  “I hope she doesn’t take a cut of the check?” He teased, his smile growing as she insisted she was always going to be there if he needed a reminder that all hope wasn’t lost. It was an odd thing for a stranger to offer, but given his life as of late, he didn’t feel as though his gauge on what was normal even functioned anymore. It had been permanently shattered when he woke up as an official member of the undead. Slipping his phone from his pocket, he held it out to her, encouraging her to plug her name and number into his list of contacts. “I might take you up on that, you know…” Why not? What did he have to lose by making another hesitant friend? “Willow Finch… your name has superhero vibes, has anybody ever told you that?” His eyes were shining as he was reminded of who he used to be, the kid who spent his free time split between the comic book store, and the many questionable establishments White Crest had to offer him. He was still very much that person, but nothing felt quite so simple anymore. He only wanted things to be simple.  

His smile fading when Willow insisted he would eventually find what he was looking for, some sense of peace, some way of being content with what he had become, maybe even some level of control when it came to fighting against the bloodlust continually scratching the back of his throat, he was impatient, but he was also happy just to believe that the answers were out there. He would find them, and maybe, just maybe, he would be okay. Surprised when she started to walk away from him, he faltered before hurrying to fall into step beside her, holding his breath as her movement caused the smell of her blood to permeate the air. He didn’t know what she meant by both categories, surely survival books and vacation books were on two very different ends of a spectrum. But he didn’t care, he wanted to understand, he wanted to follow her. Because, for some reason, she made him feel like there was hope, like he existed as more than some miserable outcome, and that was proving to be incredibly rare. 

[coolgirl]

Jason expert rate Jason’s designs

sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.

pre-crisis not robin

very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute

pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)

i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL

post-crisis robin (winter edition)

OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10

new 52/rebirth costume by

EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10

NOW. onto older stuff

hush

as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10

winicks/utrh version

LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10

nigthwing

its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10

red robin 

im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty. 

oh brother. furryman

ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10

WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?

Injustice 2 batman

I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10

and if ur not into evil jason

100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason 

just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10

speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.

this motherfucker

ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.

HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date

this motherfucker…2!

like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps

new 52/rebirth red hood

OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5. 

wingman

oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10. 

get damian back arc red hood costume

oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.

red hood/arsenal costume

its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10

outlaw costume

okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this

AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.

three jokers

im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic?  i would say 6/10

NOW SOME AUS.

tiny titans & lil gotham

okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.

arkham knight

does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10

arkham red hood

this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10

injustice 2 jason

okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.

hag jason

middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.

hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious

hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10

—-

am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..

[blake-nikos]

The longest DnD backstory i have made... so far

so small bit of context this is for a 5e game in a 18th century  bloodborne style setting.   it was meant to be one shot  so i just made   lady maria  of the astral clock tower  as my character, but the dm really likes the setting and how the game went so its becoming a full game,  but i really liked  how i played   lady maria  but i wanted something a little more then  a dnd version of a bloodborne boss  so i wrote this  over the last  few hours  and its now 5:30 am   oops  The  lady maria real name Blair  ( insert appropriate lore last name  with vanhellsing vibes to it )   class blood hunter level 10 Born into a noble  house the daughter of a previous lady maria that died during child birth and a noble man,  that was once a charming artist and writer  but reduced  to a  cowardly shell of a man after the death of his first love,  even though he has re married  he never  found his passions for the arts again  now only making  bland history text books for schools and little else. all through Blair's early life her grandfather on her mothers side would come around every few months bring gifts   and tails of his latest monster hunts and the promise of "once your older  if you wish it,  I'll take you away from this stale noble life" as she grew her grandfather started training her in swordsmanship and fire arms,  her farther forbid the training but the grandfather kept coming  till one day he had the town guards waiting  and threaten to have him killed if he took "his  last piece of her away"       blair over heard this  but didn't understand at the time  only being around 9 years old  confused as her farther  barely could even stand to look at her most days.   Her grandfather didn't come for  3 years after that point, till one night blare started getting ravens at her window  with short notes  and pages taken from swordsmanship manuals  page by page every day over time  forming more then a few books on different styles of fighting  and  firearm  manufacture and such.  she trained every day  till her hands were blistered from the bits of wood and furniture she had been using as wooden swords  to train with in her bedroom.   On the day before her 14th birthday  she noticed  a hooded figure with a raven in the small woods out her window,   she grabbed a small kitchen knife she had stolen and suck out looking for them.   it didn't take long  till she was deep in the woods   only to be startled by a well made wooden sword being thrown to her feet  "pick it  up and fight for your birthday present little one"  the look of joy   forced down by one of determination she picked up the sword and took the guard positions she'd been practicing  for all this time,  swing hard but true to form  never faltering a step in her foot work,   pushing the old man on to is back foot , not  one to show to much mercy  and  a reflex from years of fighting he pushed hard in to his next swing  and disarmed  her of her wooden sword  just as he dropped his guard about to gloat   " guess some ones not  getting  her..."  shes rushes  him gets her body  under  his guard  position thrusts her arms right up under his chin and with the stolen kitten knife to his neck "took you long enough  old man"  drops the knife to her side and hugs him tight enough   she  may have heard some of is old bones crack.  and starts to cry  into his chest.  "okay alright little one, you won  the fight  now need to crush me now"  as he hugs her back  for a moment.  "i know its been a while " only to hear " too long " as she kicks him in the shin "if you hit me again no present  " She pules back to look at him to notice a few  more scars on his face then last time  she spoke to him.   he stands up straight   and calls out “ lady maria please come meet my grand daughter”  As a hooded woman with a raven on her shoulder looking to be in her late 30s steps out from behind a tree.  she steps forward and curtsy towards Blair   “ its a honor to meet you little miss, i knew your mother well,  and she would be very proud of such a skilled young fighter”   she says with a smile,  a head tilt   and a slight  tear in her eye “ you most certainly have her  eyes and expressions...   its like  looking at a memory  right before me” Blair looks to her before looking down to the dirt   “ ive  only heard story's from granddad and farther  locked  all the paintings of mum in the attic i haven't seen them in years” her grandfather  after swallowing his anger “ well this just wont do  “ and pulls out a locket  from his pocket  “ i have a portrait of her  above the mantel in my family manner, why don't you hold on to this one, till you come see it for your self “ as he hands her the locked with a small picture  of her mother inside.   she holds it close before placing it around her neck.  “but now little one  its your birthday tomorrow  and that's not your gift this is!” as the  lady maria grabs  a fabric wrapped sword from behind her   “this was hers  it needed some repairs   after she put it aside  when she moved in with your father,   but its been cleaned sharped and has a fresh coat of sliver” Blair takes the wrapping off the sword to see a brilliant  sliver coated steel scabbed,   a saber with a enlarged almost small sword style handle and guard. she clips it to her belt and draws the blade “its heavy...  well compared to a chair leg but the balance feels much nicer,  this,  this is mine now ?” her grandfather smiles   “yes little one cant have you  training with chair legs  forever now  can we,  plus  you will need a real blade when our lady maria  hear starts training you in our family's blood magic next week ”       Blair  now looking rather  confused “ blood magic?”  the grandfather   draws a dagger  from his belt  and slices the the blade along his palm as  the blood runs down the blade it starts to crackle and spark with lightning   he throws the blade at a tree and it sparks with a brilliant light  and shark cracking sound like a small bolt of lighting, “now little one this is a family secret  so don't go talking about magic,  can you promise me that  and don't let your father find that sword?” she nods her head with gusto  “  yes sir !  totally,  easy,  no problem.  and he wont   look at me any way  so its easy to steal stuff and sneak around ”     the day starts to grow long  and they say there goodby’s for now  3 years of  weakly training some times with grandfather, some times with lady maria,  some times with both  and some times with a different lady maria  she dresses the same and spoke the same formal way for the most part but  much younger  she explained “lady maria  is not my name little one its a title...  all the lady maria's  are in some way related even you.  im actually your cousin  my name is Juliet.   the older lady maria  you met the first night was my aunt  and your mothers sister.  On her 16th birthday and a few years of Blair being a rebellious young teen  and making trouble for the towns guard and  her farther getting more and more strict as she aged,  Blair promptly set out with trying to ruin her farther reputation  especially when the step mother started pressing to “marry her off “  even though the farther was against it  the step mother  started making plans for marriage behind his back.   Blair being a witty  young trouble maker   found out about her plans and took it as a challenge  and found a new form of combat training  in bar fights and sneaking to the next town over and drinking�� with the army boys in training. till it go to the tipping point  a argument with her farther  that was promoted by the step mother yelling at him for the better part of the day,  when she came home at dusk one evening  not looking to worse for ware  but about as far lady like  as one can get, her father going straight in to yelling “whats wrong with you!? why must you fight against the best life  you’ll ever get? how ungrateful are you ! “ the step mother butting in   “ your mother would be ashamed  you”  with out hesitation from across the room  Blair pulls a knife  cuts her palm and utters a Blood Curse of Bloated Agony on the step mother   and drops the step mother to her knees in pain “ you know nothing about her you good for nothing noble piece of trash”  “ and dad i don’t know  if you hate me... or blame me for killing mum by being borne,  but you never loved me you never gave me what i needed!,  and you took away the only  person that could!    you stopped granddad from coming  you took the one person that loved me!  you left me with nothing  what did you expect!?    her farther now yelling at Blair to stop this  “fine if you want to be with him so badly then leave but if you do  your title stays behind your money you’ll will be nothing more then a common present!”  “OH but father i have a title you could never take I’m the lady maria” as she drops the curse  go’s to her room packs a travel bag grabs her mothers sword  and walks right by her father who is trying to calm the step mother now screaming for a doctor   and calling Blair a witch,    on the way out  Blair with sword worn proud on her side,  she hesitates  for a moment  in the door way with her back to her farther, and can hear him over the sound of the now rageing  woman next to him   “what have i done Ive lost her again...  i’m sorry  i’m so sorry”   blair pretends not to hear him and walks away in to the night.        after another year of training   now at the grandfathers manor  and returning the locket,  she started going on monster hunts  and when the war came true and proper she fought right besides the young army boys from time to time as a mercenary  and protected them from the monsters by night, even earning some honorary militarily ranks.   now a few years after the war shes now 31 and has been a proper lady maria for a good while fighting monsters and making stories of her own. 

[maxladcomics]

If you have time to, could you explain how you go about planning/making your comics? Other than drawing them, I mean. Like, how do you plan out what happens in a page, how do you go about scripting it, that kinda thing.

WELL- (This is gonna be a long post, so block the tag #longpost or #Maxramble if it’s too much!) 

I unfortunately keep most stuff in my head- but I’ll explain some small things that might help out!

I keep the base of every character set down, so I understand how that character behaves, and when I already know their backstory and how they react/behave to other characters, it makes their actions easier to put in a scene rather than plan out properly. Instead of asking myself “Hmmm how would they react to this-” I can trace back to those details I already know, and help myself realize how they would respond.

For instance- the comic I have in the works right now is much easier than the other ones I’m not working on >3>.. because it has Fell and Fell Undyne, who I’ve drawn a lot and grown attached to and they’ve got a lot of history with each other and they interact in fun ways. I haven’t done that much of Swapfell Papyrus, and Underfell Alphys. While I definitely relate to these two- it’s REALLY hard to figure out their ‘base’, especially since Alphys’s Past comic starts with how hers will be built, and show what she grows into and why- IT’S SO COMPLICATED AND I NEED TO LOWER MY STANDARDS SO I CAN JUST DRAW IT AND GET IT OVER WITH.

Anyway, that was a bunch of rambling.

So yeah, first: Character basics. Then I move onto the plot. 

I have a vague setup for the comic I work with, and while I wish I could put more details in, it seems like this is how I like to work and there just isn’t any way to fix it lol.

Also before these spoilers are notes of what the babybones behaviors are like- they’ll help me understand how the babies act and get an idea of how Fell can respond to them throughout the comic. This is normally what I have noted down when I bring any new character into a comic, so I can understand how they’ll act first, and how my characters can respond/behave around them.

These notes I’m showing, will be the first scene I’m working towards, so from point A (the start of the comic), and the goal is point B, here: (spoilers ahead! But vague spoilers, it doesn’t even spoil the first page)

(Thank you Anon Paps for the ideas!)I mean there’s not much, so I need preferably a point C which is here:

and other than that, the rest is in my head, but I can summarize it fairly simply. With Undyne’s help Fell decides to take care of the babybones (UT Paps asks him earlier in the comic to take care of them but the kids make everything difficult for him so he needed to talk to someone), suddenly ghost, things get a bit easier and something happens with Levee to make him a lot more tolerable. 

There was an idea of Fell protecting the kids after something, but I can’t remember it, I might bring that in if I figure it out lol. But yeah the comic will mostly be meant for cute/funny stuff and to encourage myself to draw more, which is how I’ll plot out the inbetween’s for each point. I also have a vague ending planned but that’s a secret :D…. and not noted down *quickly scribbles it down*

ANYWAY TO THE SCRIPT.

So while Paint Tool SAI version 2 has a text feature- I usually write out my scripts on Open Office Writer (Basically microsoft word, but free) and try to keep it to AT MOST, one A4 page. This depends on what’s happening in the page and how much talking is going on. In the past I’ve had to cut pages into two because there’s too much text.

Script for page 2: (Might not be full script, there’s more to this but it might not fit on one page AND I KEEP FORGETTING A BIT OF IT)

(Out of context script is hilarious omg)

Obviously not shown: There’s a panel break (Silent panel) between a point in this script so far. After Fell says he’s going to call someone else, it’ll show Undyne looking extra confused, then Fell calling another number. 

So with my script I have a basic idea of what’s going to happen (or in the case of funny comics, usually a punchline to work up to) and build the page in my head as I script. If it doesn’t work then I do have to redo the script or even cut out scenes I like because they wont work. It happened a lot in the Drinking comic.

I guess the easiest way I can explain it is, the Point A, B, C and finale are the important points that HAVE to happen, and I consider every scene between that a mini point I can reach, but I don’t have to and it’s ok to cut them as long as they don’t mess with the main points. (…Although they can. All the shenanigans between Short Fell and Fell changed a lot of the other plot points I had, honestly most plot points are changeable, but I usually pretend they’re fixed so I have an idea of where I need to go. WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS THE START AND FINALE OK-)

It makes it much easier since Papyruses and Undyne’s are so.. enthusiastic, that they’ll usually do something without needing a prompt. I love characters like these.

Anyway, onto the drawing of the page: I don’t have any extensively rough scribbles to show, but I usually try to consider who’s in the scene (and if I have to, turn the perspective a certain way so I don’t have to keep drawing 3-4 characters every panel) and how they respond to whatever they’re given. If they’re in a relaxed scenario (like the Drink comic) then how do they respond? Which characters do they naturally gravitate to?  

I usually plan this stuff during scripting of course but anyway-

I’ve been drawing larger panels lately (Inspired by UnderlineAU) and usually draw smaller ones when the scene calls for it, like a silent reaction, or something happening in the background. As usual- I think that showing the character from the waist up is a good place to start so you can show body language and how they react without saying anything. Do they close off when someone comes near them but try to act friendly- or are they genuinely friendly? ALL FUN STUFF TO FIGURE OUT. 

Anyway, I try not to end the pages on something that’s too..??? That feels too much like an ending, I want people to continue reading, or know that there’s another page. Obviously I don’t cut a joke short and end it on the next page, but what I mean is.. with, say if all the characters said goodbye to each other at the end of one page and it seemed like an ending, then suddenly they’re talking again in the next page- it’d be weird xD.

I think I did something similar to that in the babybones comic? I vaguely recall them saying goodbye, and then having one or two panels to have them talking about the next place, so readers knew there was more. So that’s the kind of thing I mean

…..WOW THAT WAS A LOT.

I’m not sure if I have any more to say lol, but I hope this helps??

[moiraineswife]

Molly Theory - Soldier Background

This is kinda fucked by the whole memory-loss thing but we’re just gonna say that he still has instincts and shit. And I just. Feel passionately about this so y’all are going to get this: 

So this is going to amount to a combination of actual theory based on old instincts he hasn’t shaken yet, something I just enjoy picturing, and getting into the realm of headcanon: 

More specifically than soldier, I think that Molly was a mercenary, and a monster-hunting mercenary. 

I now present to you all The Evidence: 

-So, first off, Taliesin said on Talks that Molly’s nervous breakdown after the battle of Alfield had nothing to do with the battle, and that he’s killed before. Which struck me as interesting because as far as we know this guy’s been with the carnival for the past two years and, if the amnesia theories are true, that’s all he’s got.  But this is the tiefling that slipped silver pieces into common people’s pockets because he doesn’t want them to buy drinks for them because he knows they can’t afford it. I feel like he wasn’t a serial killer back in the day with that kind of moral code. Soldier/mercenary then makes the most sense for why he’s used to killing things and isn’t bothered by it. 

Molly has a strict moral code and part of that moral code was that if you take money from someone, you do the job that they paid you to do. Bing bing bing - The Mercenary Mantra. (I feel like this...Well I suppose it could apply to the carnival, but I’m not sure you need a moral rule for that, you know? And yes it was in context of the gnolls but STILL, this is grounded in something) Unless they’re trying to pay you for something really shifty - a moral mercenary. 

The way Molly acts with regards to combat is another big clue in this vein.  The battle of Alfield freaked him out for reasons, if I remember, Taliesin said had to do with his Bloodhunter abilities, not the combat, but either way, it’s delayed. He doesn’t react in the moment, only when the fighting is done, his party is all safe, and he’s got some peace, privacy, and a drink in his hand. If you’ll allow a little bit of stretching it - not only has he seen combat, but I think he was in charge of other people during combat situations, but he waits until he’s in private before he shows any kind of weakness/processes things. 

The Manticore battle/Caleb- Molly knows how to respond to traumatised people. Molly knows how to respond to traumatised fighters. He deals with the source of the trauma, brings them back, reaffirms them, and then leaves to check on his other troops (Nott) There’s a few things in here, some of which I’ve talked about in other contexts, but I’m going to say again here for the purposes of this city. First of all, he removes the source of the flashback - the fire - which is significant because it means that he was keeping enough of an eye on Caleb during the battle to see what triggered him. This is also the first thing that he does when the battle ends - his first instinct is to go and look after his party. 

But once he’s dealt with Caleb, he checks on Nott, which means that he was keeping half an eye on her, too, and was aware that she went down. In the frenzied heat of combat he’s keeping an eye on his party, and he prioritises them when he checks in on them afterwards - which is quite tactical and organised for a random dude in a carnival who spun swords around and put up tents for a living, and again supports the theory of him being some kind of military leader. 

The camp bandits in episode 8: the saga of Molly the mother hen in this episode was amazing but also...Totally supports this theory tbh. First, when the bandits stop him getting his scimitars, he makes a beeline for the cart which is a)- the only potential cover in the open field they’re camping in and b)- the source of other weapons, which he makes good use of. Tactics.  Molly also takes charge of the situation - he checks in that the rest of the party is good with him doing so - then he organises the bandits. He has them line-up in front of him (soldier order) and he then has them renounce their now-dead leader, elect a new one to speak on their behalf, he then gives them gold and reforms them instead of killing them.  I’m stretching things again but quite often bandits/robbers like that lot are deserters/were soldiers who lost employment and struggled to make their way in the world - so there’s a chance Molly found himself in a similar-ish position when the carnival picked him up and gave him a second chance and now he’s doing the same thing for these men. But also with the former-commander thing in mind, I think it’s just his instinct when he sees these armed young men without purpose to step-up a bit and whip them into shape. And I can see this as being something that he did before - just sort of...adopting these wayward, purposeless men and turning them into loyal followers of him. 

So all of this says ‘military soldier’ but there are a couple of things that push me more down the mercenary route. 

His class for one thing. Molly’s a Bloodhnter, which is great for killing monsters and beasts, not as much random people on battlefields. Also, having read through the class, and knowing Matt Mercer is a giant Witcher nerd I’m like a solid 87% sure the Bloodhunter class at the very least draws inspiration from witchers, whose primary purpose is as hired monster-hunters. 

Also his general dislike for lords/rich folks/establishments, and just his general flamboyance - the tattoos, the coat, the individuality and independence he exudes - means I can’t easily see him in a strict military organisation and liking it. He’s a mother hen but he’s also a little shit, and I can’t see him happily belonging to any kind of rigidly structured organisation.  I think his discipline is a bit like his moral code - he sticks to it as much as possible, but it’s his and there’s no mistaking that.  

TL;DR for the theory part: Molly has the soldier background - but he was specifically the leader of a mercenary, monster-hunting band back in the day. 

SO Theory over: headcanon/extrapolation time! So, with all of that in mind, my theory for Molly’s backstory (which is probably UTTERLY wrong but it’s so fun to speculate and picture him as a mother hen pre-game) is that he had a little party of adventurers/mercenaries who,much as witchers are wont to do, wandered Wildemount and took on contracts to slay dangerous beasts.  At some point, they got a little overconfident, and his party were killed by an extremely powerful beast, leaving Molly as the sole survivor. It was at that point he either sought out himself or, being vulnerable, was sought out by a cult of Bloodhunters who recruited him with the promise of revenge on the monster that killed his friends/soldiers who he felt personally responsible for.  Then comes the memory loss, which I have a few thoughts on. It could have been something extremely traumatic that just wiped him, but I sort of doubt that. Trauma and memory loss do go hand-in-hand, but not complete memory loss to the point Molly believes he and his powers were born not made and has a wealth of theoretical backstories for himself.  I think either something traumatic happened to Molly and made him all but useless to the Bloodhunters that took him in, or his morals started to strongly disagree with his new friends/he started getting too close to that line the Bloodhunter class warns about becoming the thing you hunt, tried to back out, and as a result, either by magical means or some kind of poison, they wiped his memory because they didn’t want a rogue Bloodhunter wandering Wildemount. 

TL;DR: Molly was the leader of a mercenary monster-hunting group, somewhere along the road he became a Bloodhunter to become a more effective hunter, and then some shit happened and his memory was wiped and he ended up in the carnival. 

There are some holes in this, obviously, but I Enjoy It, so I decided to post it and here we are. 

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[wanderingthroughwickford]

7, 12, 45, 78, 111, for the numbers ask!

Thanks, anon! :D

120 Nancy Drew Questions Ask

7. Do you read Nancy Drew FanFiction?

Not all that often. I’ve written a little bit myself, I had this whole Hunger Games AU fic planned out at one point, but I don’t really read much beyond short drabbles. I remember going through the FanFiction.net archive as far back as, say, 2007/8ish, but all they really had were AEs that I wasn’t really interested in. Since I joined the Clue Crew fandom here, I’ve read a bit more, but most of the fics focus on romance, which, again, isn’t all that big a draw for me, especially in ND where I don’t have many ships I’m passionate about.

Though I have read some good things. now that I think about it. One of my close online friends who unfortunately deactivated here (erroneous-luka) had some great oneshots, and just last summer I read and faved a really good Katie/Jenna fic on A03. I tend to prefer fics about side characters (those who only appear in one game) than those about the main gang. 

12. What’s your favorite Nancy Drew book series? Why?

I mean … I guess the originals? Like the yellow-back ones from the 50s (which I’m aware aren’t the *originals* but I’ve never actually read those). I admit, they’re not really that well-written, and the stereotypes found in them can be really off-putting. I’m more attached to them for the nostalgia value than anything else, to be honest. But on the other hand, I haven’t read that many of the newer books, just a couple here and there that the games are based off of, like Message in a Haunted Mansion, Secret of the Scarlet Hand, and Treasure in the Royal Tower. 

45. Who’s your least favorite character in Danger on Deception Island?

Lol for some reason I just … felt like I was going to get this question? I remember scrolling through the list and thinking “I bet I’m going to get least favorite DDI character, for some reason.” Maybe it’s because I reblog a lot of DDI stuff, idk. (To be fair it’s one of my favorite games.)

Mmmm well I guess I should say Andy since he’s the villain, but you know what? I find him kind of entertaining. “Whales rule” and all that. So I’m going to go with Holt. I saw a post a little while ago like “he probably voted for Trump” and you know what? I can’t argue with that. He just seems like the kind of person who’d sit around and grumble about millennials and how much better things were in “the good old days” and how smartphones and selfies are ruining society. Plus, having Nancy arrested for bringing him the wrong gender of crab, when he specifically made her go get one? Seriously? 

78. Who’s your favorite character in Tomb of the Lost Queen? Why?

Hmm well I haven’t actually played it, per se, just watched my mom play it here and there. But I guess Jamilia seems pretty cool. It’s great that HER put in a Muslim woman who wears a hijab (at least I think that’s what it is, correct me if it’s the wrong term) and not only isn’t the villain, but is smart, educated, and independent. I only know vaguely about her backstory with this … secret order of women protecting the tomb, or something? but that seems cool. Plus, I really like the name Jamilia. So I’m going with her. 

111. Are you upset with Her Interactive for taking longer on this game than the other ones?

Ohhh boy, the inevitable MID question. I mean, like … I’ve largely tried to stay out of it but at this point I don’t even know what to feel anymore. But I’ll try to sum it up (without stepping on too many toes). And this is reaally reaallly long so feel free to skip it lol.

I’m not really all that displeased on a personal level because I still have so many games to catch up on (TMB, SPY, MED, LIE, SEA) and I get pretty much endless fun out of replaying the previous games, so if MID was potentially to never come out and we were never to get any more Nancy Drew games…? It would suck, yes. It’d be sad, in an ‘end of an era’ sort of way. But I’d be all right. Everything has to come to an end, and we’ve had a really good run. 1998-2015, for a female-led point-and-click PC game series? That’s pretty impressive. 

And, to be honest, I went through a low period back in the early 2010s when I thought I was never going to be able to play a lot of my Nancy Drews again because they wouldn’t work on more modern computers - but now that I know you can buy them on Steam and that there are ways of making older games work on modern computers and such, I know that I don’t have to worry about losing them anymore. As long as I can hold on to the ones I already have, I’ll be fine. There’s a question I’ve heard posed that’s like “If you had to choose between losing all your old memories and never being able to make new ones, what would you do?” and personally I’d definitely go with keeping all my old memories. That’s just who I am.

BUT - this is a big but - that’s all 100% personal. As in, if I was the only person in the Clue Crew, that’s how I’d look at the situation. But I know it’s not all just about me - I know there are lots of fans out there, be they young kids just getting into the series or veteran fans longing for more, who will be massively disappointed, even heartbroken, if MID does not come out. So that’s where my feelings of discontentment come into play, not necessarily for myself, but for the fandom in general. When I entered the Clue Crew in 2014, it was vibrant and thriving and I was amazed to find so many like-minded people who weren’t homeschooled 13-year-olds on the HER Boards. Now … the fandom’s really suffering, and we all know that. A lot of really popular blogs have shut down or just aren’t posting anymore. There’s been a lull in content because, really, how many new jokes or insightful posts can be made when there hasn’t been new content in 2 years? It’s saddening to see that happen, because even with the drama that has sometimes occurred, I really do love the Clue Crew. 

But here’s the thing - I don’t really want to lay the blame at anyone’s feet. I just don’t feel I’m educated enough on the situation to start pointing fingers. I know HER putting all their money/advertising towards new projects and constantly brushing off any questions about MID is annoying, but I don’t feel  can criticize them, because I don’t know the first thing about making video games or running a company. I’m embarrassed by their painful attempts to capture an older demographic by posting forced unfunny memes on their Facebook page, but at the same time … isn’t that sort of inevitable when a company run by adults attempts to appeal to teenagers? I mean, just look at the Denny’s Tumblr. And haven’t Clue Crew members been wanting HER Interactive to reach out to the young adult internet fandom and its style of humor forever? I know that the result has been underwhelming, to say the least, but, I don’t know … I’m having a hard time being mad.

And the same goes for the fandom. I’ve gotten kind of tired of the constant bitterness and negativity towards HER; I hate seeing people harass and annoy HER employees on Facebook or whatever; and even trolling the HER forums with jokes about Big Island Mike, Communism, Satanic subliminal messages, etc. was never really that funny to me in the first place (esp. because, like … the kids on these forums are super sheltered people who probably have super overprotective parents and I honestly wouldn’t have a hard time believing that if their parents see this kind of shit going down and misunderstand the context [as parents are wont to do] they might not let the kids go on the HER boards anymore.) BUT, I can see where all this stuff is coming from - a feeling of boredom, frustration, and betrayal. And I get that. So I can’t really judge any of that too harshly, either. 

I guess I’d say that in general, I’m not bothered about MID on a daily level, though when the time eventually comes that I finish all the Nancy Drews, that might very well change. But it’s when I interact with the fandom, see how stagnant it’s become, and see how hurt the longtime fans of this company are, then it starts to work me up a little more. Still, I can’t really manage anger … only disappointment. 

[saskiaelly]

Research and initial inspiration

I got two books as they appealed to me in general and i think will be very useful for Visual Communication. I want to use them as research and inspiration in our brief ‘The Place of Words’ both for their page layouts and designs they feature.

~Why Fonts Matter, Sarah Hyndman

From this book I was mainly drawn to the chapter spreads for this book brief. On chapter 4 I like the use of type and repetition that affects how you read the text. The way my book will be read is most important to me in designing it and it’s vital to the purpose of the book. I want mine to be humorous and playful in the way it’s read, perhaps with some experimental typography. I will see where it takes me, if i make it work with the InDesign format. I also like the layout, the type is full and takes up the full expanse of one page, becoming the imagery in a way. I don’t know if I want to use type in this sense, i will if it makes sense with the words i have in my found text however i wont force it. I do however like this design of breaking up the spread, they link to each other but are two separate pages. The liking text on both pages achieves this as well as the imagery; the headphones go across both pages, uniting them in the spread. I can use imagery to do something similar s well as colour like the red lead of the headphones does. I like the simple use of colour, just black on white with red linking it through. I really love colourful work but find it difficult to do and a bit intimidating, perhaps if I choose one colour it will make it easier for me to work with and get the finish on my book I want as I can use the colour right and not risk it becoming messy as I try to do too much.

I like Chapter 5′s spread and chapter 5, but particularly the initial spread as it already tells you what that chapter is about. My book won’t be long enough to do this however i can use imagery to make my text easier to read and understand, visual guides to help aid people through reading it. The subject matter of this chapter is about how different type changes the way you read something. As the way my book reads is very important tome I will experiment with the font but also the sizing, placement and colour of my typography. If a book doesn’t read the way it should then the context is a waste of time and the book wont achieve its purpose, no matter if the imagery is amazing.

I like the Chapter 7 spread as it’s very imagery focused, and the imagery again hints and explains the contents of this chapter. I like the idea of looking at how my imagery occupies a space on the page, this is just as important as how my type reads even as it could wither add to a page and make it more readable, or alternatively it could completely distract from the text which i don’t want. They need to work together to get my point across.

This book has really helped me understand content and readability even more. Throughout designing my book I will check it’s reading how it should, by reading it myself but also asking others how they interpret the text as the majority will be the most reliable perspective to go with if I want it to be a successful piece of work.

~New Typographic Design, Roger Fawcett-Tang, David Jury

In this book I picked out two pages that caught my eye and I wanted to study.The first page features work by Angus Hyland and his ‘I Am Type’ piece. I like the use of simple not overly complicated fonts but the position and layout it what creates this successful piece. It reads very well just by his use of sizing and spacing. Like ‘Why Font Matters’ this helps me understand how type is read and how I can make my book successful. The work on this spread is very experimental in a seemingly simplistic way, it’s not overly fancy and I think that goes well with my style of working. I like very intricate work however, with this project so far I am enjoying just playing with fonts on InDesign and my character styles. Especially as I am still trying to come to grips with the software that I find tricky, it makes sense to play to my strengths, keep it simple-ish but use layout and imagery to make my book better and more exciting to read. 

The other page I looked at is work by Aufuldish and Warinner for the California College of the Arts. I like both posters as they have qualities to them that I want to try and achieve in my book. For the first one, I like how its just black and white as that’s how mine is stating out before I want to introduce colour, the skeleton of my work is just black on white. It allows me to establish what works and what doesn’t, what layouts and compositions I think work best before I want to throw some colour in. I don’t like how busy the page is but the weight of the text makes me read it differently so I can incorporate this into my work. I was initially drawn to the other poster on this page. It’s a mixture of illustration and typography which is great for this brief  as I am focusing on  imagery and typography and how they work together. I will most likely be working with illustrations and my final book will be made up of my drawings and found text. I like how the text is introduced onto the side of the illustration here however, I don’t like where it overlaps much, I find it too distracting and annoying to the eye when I try to read it. I think the text should be a little more separate just so that its still relevant to the imagery but you want to read it and its not too difficult.

The way my imagery interacts with my type is important, one shouldn't distract too much from the other and they need to work together on my spreads. I will be doing a lot of moving around and adjusting to make sure I can get it to work the best I can.