#this is exactly why i'm upset you fucking moron

[autogynecologist]

Thurston's Orange Peel Theory

[blueberrylemontea-fanfic]

Sidenote

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, oral sex (male & female recieving), fingering, piv, unprotected sex (DON'T)

Summary: When your boyfriend cheats on you, you turn to your best friend for comfort.

Eddie had hardly heard the knock on the trailer door over the clattering rain. He was a little confused who'd be showing up here at 12:30 at night, especially in this weather.

"Y/n? What are you...?"

"Can I come in?" You interrupted him.

"Yeah, of course. Come on in."

Eddie stepped out of the doorframe to let his best friend pass. The water ran of your leather jacket, but the rest of you was entirely soaked.

"I'll go get you a towel," Eddie offered, but before he even turned around you interjected

"Ryan cheated on me."

Eddie stopped dead in his tracks.

"Ryan what now?" He fumed.

"Ryan cheated on me. With Stephanie of all people. I got to Michael's party tonight and he was fucking her in a bathroom. Real class-act."

"I'm so sorry, Y/n. He's an absolute moron, you know that, right?"

Eddie's arms engulfed you into a tight hug, his shirt getting soaked in a matter of seconds, but he didn't care.

"What can I do to cheer you up? Want to watch a gorey movie? Pretend everyone that gets dismembered is him? I don't have ice cream or any of that stereotypical break-up crap, but I've got beer."

You gave a non-committal shake of your head, so Eddie continued.

"You wanna numb the pain? You know I've got the best medicine in town." He smirked as he pulled an old joint from his front pocket.

You nodded and Eddie's eyes lit up, glad he was able to help.

"I don't want weed though," you said, clouding Eddie's face in confusion.

"Alright. Did you come here for something stronger? 'Cause I thought you didn't do that."

You shook your head.

"Okay... Then I'm confused, here. How can I help, angel?"

You caught his gaze, looking at him so intently that for a moment he stopped fidgeting and floundering for something to get you. Just long enough to make him suddenly aware you'd never stepped back from the hug, your waterlogged shirt still pressed against his chest.

"I want you to fuck me, Eddie."

Eddie's heart caught in his throat.

"You...what?"

"I want you to fuck me," you repeated.

"Why?" Eddie was having a hard time focussing. He hated to admit how much he wanted you to be serious about this.

"Because I'm hurt, and I wanna feel good. Because otherwise this is just going to be a very sad night and I don't want that. And a little because I want to hurt him. That okay?"

Instead of answering your question, Eddie asked you another one

"Why me?"

"Because I like you. Because I trust you. And because, between you and the girl's bathroom, I hear things. I know you're the best kept secret in town."

Eddie smirked at your seductive tone, he knew you weren't exactly wrong either.

"Y/n, are you sure about this? You're upset, I don't want you to do anything you'll regret in the morning. Besides I quite like being your friend."

"And you still will be. You're my best friend, Eds. There's nothing you can do that'll change that. It'll just be a sidenote in our friendship. We'll just be friends that fucked that one time."

Eddie chuckled.

"I'm here because I want this, Eds. I want you."

"Fuck, say that again."

"I want you, Eddie."

His mouth was on you before you'd finished saying his name.

You felt a wave of relieve when his body covered your own, the tension flowing right out of you.

Eddie had you pinned against the cupboards, the edges pressing into your head and upper legs, but you couldn't care less. All you could think about were Eddie's hands on you, one on the small of your back, pressing you impossibly close to him, the other wound tightly in your hair.

The kiss was rough and needy.

Eddie was kissing you like he needed your air to breathe. You gladly threw yourself into the kiss just as passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of your legs around his waist.

You needed him closer. You needed to feel every inch of him against you. Flames bloomed on your skin in every spot he touched.

Eddie's fingers slipped under your wet shirt, trailing a featherlight pattern up your sides.

You hummed at his touch.

You tugged on the bottom of your shirt, signaling to Eddie to take it off, which he wasted no time at all with. His hands trailed up your body, hiking your shirt along with them. He pushed your shirt over your head and wrapped his hand around your neck. He gave you a searing kiss before letting his lips trail down your neck. His teeth scraped against your skin, marking you up.

You threw your head back against the cupboard when Eddie nipped at your collarbone. His kisses dropping down to your cleavage. He thumbed your nipple through the fabric of your bra softly, sending a small shiver down your back.

"Can I take this off?"

You nodded. "But only if you take off yours too."

Eddie tugged his shirt over his head in one swift motion before undoing your bra. Eddie slowly slipped it off you, admiring you as he did.

"Fuck, your tits are perfect," he sighed as he took one of your nipples in his mouth.

You could feel Eddie's right hand slip down your stomach, his fingers just breaching the elastic of your panties.

"This okay?" He mumbled, his face still occupied with worshipping your nipples.

"Please don't stop," you whispered needily.

You felt Eddie's self-satisfied smirk against your skin.

"Wouldn't dream of it, sweetheart."

He slipped his fingers further down your panties, the cold of his rings giving you goosebumps. His middle finger found your clit. You let out a breathy moan as he rubbed slow circles on you.

"You're so wet already, baby. I've barely even touched you yet."

Eddie grinned smugly as he pushed a finger into you.

"Eddie!"

"Hmm that's right sweetheart, say my name."

You moaned his name again as he picked up his pace, the palm of his hand pressed against your clit.

Eddie was a wonderful multitasker. His mouth had restarted its assault on your neck and his left thumb was still stimulating your nipples as he added a second finger to your pussy.

Your entire body was electrically charged. You knew you weren't going to be able to hold out for long.

Eddie's pace was brutal, but it still wasn't enough. You nudged Eddie's cheek with your nose, his eyes locking on yours, following them as they travelled down to where his hand disappeared in your underwear.

"More. Please," you moaned lowly.

This time you caught Eddie's wicked grin.

"You want more, baby?" He teased.

You nodded desperately, not even pretending like you wouldn't absolutely beg for him if he made you.

"Ask me nicely."

Your whole body seemed to whine. "Please, Eddie. Please give me another finger. Please."

It should have been embarrassing how quickly he had you begging for him, but it turned Eddie on to no end.

Effortlessly, he pushed a third finger into you, relishing in the sound that escaped your throat.

"You like that, baby?" Eddie whispered in your ear. "You like it when I stretch you out."

You nodded feverishly. "Yes, Eddie."

Eddie licked his lips, his tongue brushing the edge of your earlobe.

"Well then you're gonna love what I've got in store for you later."

The bottom of your stomach nearly dropped out at the thought.

Eddie nipped your earlobe unexpectedly and you yelped.

"Are you close, sweetheart?"

Eddie sensed the slight clenching around his fingers, the increased rhythm in your panting.

You nodded.

"You want to cum for me?"

Another nod.

"Good girl" he cooed. I

f you weren't sitting down your knees would have given out for sure.

" 's okay, baby. You can cum for me soon."

The glint in his eyes would have been a warning if you hadn't been so close to the brink of euphoria.

Without a word, Eddie hooked your left leg over his shoulder. A scream ripped through your throat as Eddie's fingers shifted deeper inside of you. You were stretched around him so good, it felt like he was splitting you open.

"That's it, Y/n. You can cum for me now on one condition, baby. Scream for me." Eddie whispered in your ear as you finally let go.

You dug your nails into the kitchen counter as well as Eddie's shoulder as your orgasm burst through you. You screamed out Eddie's name followed by a string of profanities as you pulsed around Eddie's fingers, which were still buried deeply inside of you. He held them firmly in place until you had ridden out your orgasm.

You leaned against the cupboards, a heaving mess when he pulled his hand away.

He held your eyes as he pushed one of his fingers past his lips, sucking it clean before doing the same with another one.

With a smirk and a quirked eyebrow he held his middle finger out to you, watching in awe as you painstakingly leaned forward and sucked his finger all the way into your mouth with ease.

Your tongue swirled around his finger, licking up your own juices before you popped your mouth off of his hand.

"Jesus Christ, you're so hot." Eddie smiled like a fox in a henhouse. "You ready for round two, angel?"

Your eyes widened, but before you could answer Eddie swept you off the counter and carried you through the trailer. He tossed you on the bed, watching you bounce slightly before settling into his mattress.

"Hey, Eds?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Cuff me."

Eddie licked his lips. "The cuffs? Really?"

You nodded gingerly, "Yeah, I always thought that sounded really hot."

"My, my, Y/n... never would've guessed you were a freak like me."

Eddie grabbed the handcuffs from their hook on the wall and ran the chain past one of the radiator pipes.

"Hold out your hands."

He clicked the cuffs shut around your outstretched wrists. The cuffs had a pretty long chain, but they did link your wrists pretty close together.

Eddie took your hand and pushed your arms up over your head, his body pressing down on yours.

"Remember, Y/n," he whispered in your ear, "I can take these off whenever you want."

You smiled as Eddie kissed down your body again, teasing every inch of you until he reached the hem of your jeans. He slowly undid the button and pulled down the zipper.

He snapped the waistband of your underwear softly. "Can I take these off?"

You chuckled softly "Hurry up already, would you?"

"Oh you're gonna regret that, sweetheart, believe you me..."

Eddie grinned as he eased you out of your clothes. He pushed your legs up as he settled between your thighs. He trailed kisses along the insides of your thighs, moving closer and closer to your entrance until you were squirming with anticipation.

"You're a needy little thing, aren't you?"

"Eddie..." You whined.

"It's alright, angel, it's alright. I'm right here."

Eddie's tongue licked over your sensitive folds. It wasn't long before he had your back arching of the mattress, his tongue delving into you expertly.

Your fingers tugged on Eddie's curls as he brought you to the brink off another orgasm. You could feel the pressure building in your stomach, more intense than your previous orgasm.

"I'm so close Eddie," you moaned out. "Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard, please don't stop."

Eddie loved to hear you talk, lived for the sounds he could wrangle from you.

You felt the dam burst inside of you as Eddie pushed you over the edge. Your thighs clenched around his head as you screamed out his name once again.

Eddie watched you as you came down from your second high of the night. Your eyes were clenched shut, your head thrown back as your body convulsed.

He studied you as you panted and heaved. But most of all, he committed to memory the absolutely blissful smile on your lips.

"Holy shit, I can't wait to fuck you. You are just the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

"Nobody's stopping you, Munson," you were still breathing heavily, your legs trembling softly.

Eddie smiled a Cheshire cat smile.

"You sure you can handle it, sweetheart?"

His voice was sugary sweet.

You knew exactly what he wanted from you.

"You want me to beg for you, Eds? Want to hear me say how badly I want to feel you inside of me?"

"Look who's suddenly got a big mouth. You didn't sound so tough when I was making you cum, darling. That's alright, angel, I'll make you beg for it, no worries."

Eddie circled your sensitive clit, the overstimulation making you hold back a moan. He sofltly grazed your thigh as he picked up his speed. No matter how you tried, you couldn't hold back a yelp.

" 's Too much Eds," you gulped.

"You sure about that, angel? Really can't take anymore?"

You wanted to, so badly, but the pressure was too much...

So you said the only thing you could think of.

"How about you give my big mouth something to do first?"

Eddie genuinely laughed.

"You really are an angel, huh? Alright, sweetheart. Let's put that mouth to good use."

Eddie slowly removed his pants before moving over you. He leaned in for a soft kiss.

"You sure about this, Y/n?" He whispered in your ear.

"I wanna know what you taste like, Eds."

Eddie nearly died.

You moved your cuffed hands forward and held them out to Eddie's face. He raised an eyebrow at you and was met with an expectant look. He grinned before he spit in your hands.

"We should've done this a long time ago..."

Your hands wrapped around his cock, spreading his spit along his length. You moved your hands along him, revelling in the sounds he made, before pushing yourself up slightly and wrapping your lips around his head. You moved along his length, taking more of him into your mouth with each movement.

Eddie was trying not to move his hips into you, you could feel him straining against you. You pulled your mouth off him with a pop.

"You want to fuck my mouth, Eds?" You asked innocently. "All you gotta do is ask."

"You are so incredibly hot, Y/n." Eddie's voice was hoarse. "Would you do me the incredible honour of letting me fuck your mouth, angel?"

You nodded eagerly and licked down the underside of Eddie's cock before sucking him back down, agonizingly slowly.

"Sweet jesus, Y/n, you feel so good," Eddie groaned.

He slowly pushed his hips forward, you hollowed your cheeks and swirled your tongue around him. Eddie was rolling his hips into you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other holding himself up against the wall.

He looked at you adoringly while you stared up at him. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Y/n. You look fucking fantastic in between my legs."

His hips moved faster, jerking almost out of his control. "Fuck, angel, I need to fuck you so badly, and I can't do that if I keep doing this."

You increased your pressure for just a second before popping off of him.

"Fuck," Eddie groaned. He was on top of you in a second.

"You want me to fuck you, Y/n? Because lord Jesus, I don't think I've ever wanted to fuck anybody so badly."

"Fuck, Eddie, I need you inside of me, please, baby, I want to feel you."

Eddie moaned as he slipped into you. He snapped his hips up into you as you cried out his name.

"Fuck, Eddie, yes," you moaned.

Eddie was stretching you out so well, you could feel him everywhere.

"Harder, please," you begged.

Eddie moaned out your name as he pounded into you faster. You wrapped your cuffed arms around him, straining against the restrictions.

Eddie pressed needy, sloppy kisses against your neck. You moaned out his name over and over again.

"Fuck, angel, I'm so close," he sighed.

"Me too, Edds. You're so good. Feel so fucking good, baby."

Eddie groaned as he pushed your leg up between you. You cried as he hit deeper inside of you. Eddie snaked his hand between you and started rubbing circles on your clit.

You screamed out his name as your orgasm took over you. Your nails dug into his back. You thought you might pass out. Eddie let you ride out your orgasm as he kept circling your clit. It was too much. Too good.

Eddie came with your name on his lips. He was stunning, pure bliss washing over his face.

He leaned down, still buried deep inside of you, and kissed you, slowly, tentatively. "You're incredible, angel."

"Best kept secret in town," you whispered back at him.

Eddie pulled out and undid the handcuffs. You both got cleaned up and dressed again.

You kissed him softly. "Thanks, Eddie."

"The pleasure was all mine, fair maiden. How you feeling?"

"Like you turned the worst night of my life into the best. He never made me feel like that."

Eddie shrugged. "You were too good for him anyways."

"You mind if I stay the night?"

"Mi trailer es su trailer."

You hopped back onto the bed, thumbing through the dvd's on the floor in search of something that was both gorey and funny.

Eddie dropped down next to you.

"So, this whole sidenote-thing, you sure you meant a sidenote and not, let's say, sidenotes, plural?"

You turned to him, grinning.

"I think we've got room for a few more."

[whispering-ways]

• ⪩⪨ ♥︎ love struck ♥︎ ⪩⪨ •

♥︎ summary: you've just come back from a horrible date and your roommate, Midoriya, helps comfort you

♥︎ pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

♥︎ tags: no warnings, just fluff :)

♥︎ notes: hi everyone, hope everyone is having a good day and I hope y'all like this fic! love y'all and thanks for supporting my fics <;3

You close the door to your apartment with a sigh and head to the kitchen. “Yet another piss poor date,” you think to yourself, fatigue settling in your bones. At this point, it was just too tiring. You’d downloaded every single dating app you could think of; you tried your luck on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and everything else under the moon. But regardless of how wide a net you cast, you always seemed to pull in the worst fish. It’s not that you hadn’t found anyone attractive or no one had liked you, but every single time you went on a date, it just managed to go sour. 

The first date you’d been on seemed really nice at first, but with the way the guy kept on mentioning that women should be good housewives rather than ‘trying to shoot for the stars’, you knew that pursuing him would go nowhere. The second guy was no better. You’d agreed to go back to his place, just to realize it wasn’t even a place at all; it was his parents’ basement. The third guy? Gross, absolutely gross and that’s all you were going to say. And that led you to today. Today’s date seemed like a shoo-in. 

The guy you were talking to was nice, smart, and sweet and it really looked like he was into you. So when he asked you out on a date to a nearby French restaurant, you were genuinely excited. At the least, it gave you a chance to dress up. But after nearly an hour of waiting, you realized that you’d been stood up. You were so upset thinking about the whole situation that you didn’t even notice your roommate on the couch when you took off your heels.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be home by now. Thought your date would take a little longer than an hour,” Midoriya said, moving to the side and patting the seat next to him, motioning you to sit next to him. Although you didn’t want anyone to see you upset like this, you were so glad to see Midoriya right now. You’d agreed to move in with him about a couple of months ago since you two were already best friends for years. And what you needed the most right now was your best friend and a good and proper vent.

“Yeah I’m fine, just that all my dates keep going terribly and I’m practically un-fucking-loveable or something,” you reply, throwing your purse on the couch and slumping down.

“Ok, no need for sarcasm. What we’re gonna do is you’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna talk it out okay?” Midoriya replies. He gets up to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water before handing it to you. “Now tell me exactly what happened.” 

You take a sip and lean back on the couch, placing the glass to the side. “Well, I went to the restaurant and like I thought it’d be like a nice date, like at least a good time you know? But apparently, I’m a fucking moron or something because I sat there for like 45 minutes waiting for him until the staff had to kick me out because of the long wait times.” Just talking about it made tears well up in your eyes.

“What the hell; did he at least send you a text or anything?” Midoriya asked.

"Oh.. that’s the best fucking part is, I walked out of that restaurant and checked Hinge. I had sent so many messages asking where he was, and guess what? He fucking unmatched me!" you share in disbelief, wiping away the tears with your sleeve. You then grab a pizza roll, attempting to find some comfort in food. "I don't know why this always happens.. I just feel like I'm always going to have terrible luck, it's like I'm cursed. Maybe I'm just delusional and need to accept the fact that I'm unlovable..." you speak sadly, staring blankly.

Midoriya placed his hand on your shoulders, abruptly turning you to face him. Surprised by his sudden movement, you paused in your conversation. "Don't say that about yourself, okay? You are loved by so many people, and you're absolutely loveable. All the guys you've just talked to are just douches, and you deserve so much better than them.” You nod your head and wipe your tears, doing your best to pick yourself up. 

He lets out a sympathetic sigh. “How about I make you some of that spicy ramen you like and we watch a movie together? You relax and I’ll take care of it all,” he suggested. 

You chuckle at the sweet gesture. “Yeah...yeah that sounds really nice actually.” A part of your heart felt a pang of hurt at his actions; although it was a sweet friendly gesture, that’s all it’d end up being. Just a friendly gesture. But you did your best to erase that thought from your head.

Midoriya gets up from the couch to start cooking the ramen and you head to your room to change out of your dress into some more comfortable pajamas. You tie your hair up before heading to the kitchen and sitting on the countertop to watch Midoriya cook. After a moment or two, you pipe up and ask whether he needs any help.

“No, I’m all good; just sit there and look pretty. Besides, it’s just ramen, there’s not much to do with it.”

You blush at the reply, but shrug it off and reply “Well at least I offered.” 

As Midoriya cooks the ramen, you both slip into talking about your lives. Midoriya talked about what an ass his boss was being, which was a great way to distract you from your own problems. The light gossip lifts your heart, and you feel refreshed and ready to tackle the world. Once the ramen is prepared, he scoops two bowls and walks towards the couch, where you follow behind him. You sit down and he walks over to your bedroom. With curiosity, you wondered what he was doing there, but shortly after, he returned with your favorite blanket in hand. 

It warmed your heart how much effort Midoriya put into cheering you up. He momentarily takes away your bowl of ramen, only to spread the blanket across you and return the bowl back to you. You take a bite and immediately melt into the couch; it is just what you need. Midoriya joins you on the couch and hands you the remote to pick out a movie. After flipping through a couple of options, you finally settle on a rom-com that you’d been wanting to see for a while. 

It didn’t long for you both to finish your ramen and from there on out, all you both were focused on was the movie. Or at least, it seemed like that’s what Midoriya was focused on. All you could think about was how close you both were. You didn’t know what compelled you to offer whether he wanted to share your blanket with you, but you were definitely glad that you both were sitting closer together. Your fingertips were barely brushing with his and you could smell the cologne on him. “Pine and just a hint of smoke,” you thought, but you knew thoughts like that were only going to hurt you. After all, you guys were just best friends. 

You try your best to remain focused on the movie, which seems to work fairly well. Not too much longer passes until you and Midoriya begin making comments about the film, which had always been your favorite part of watching movies with him; he always had something out-of-pocket to say about what you two were watching.  The climax of the movie had the hero show up at his crush’s door with a bouquet, ready to ask her out. "See that right there? That's what I want. Some flowers and all that stuff on a date? What wouldn't I give to experience a date like that,” you exclaim with a dreamy expression on your face.

You hear Midoryia laugh, and you turn towards him, confused. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just funny you say that like you haven’t ever gotten flowers ever,” he replies, focusing back on the movie. 

“That’s because I haven’t,” you mumble quietly, but not quiet enough to slip Midoriya’s earshot. 

He whipped his head around to look at you. “That is genuinely insane, if I could take you out I'd have gotten you flowers for sure, what a damn shame honestly.” You look at him stunned, wondering whether if what he said had registered in his own mind.” Well, you know I mean a girl like you, not you...not that there’s anything bad with you..ugh I’m just fucking it up,” he stammers, his hands flying to cover the rosy blush that now covered his entire face. 

You turn away from him and an awkward silence passes between you both. But there was no way you could just leave it off at that. “So you want to take me out then?”

“No..well I mean yes, I’d be privileged too but...” he trails off before sighing, leaning back into the couch. His hands still cover his face as he says, “I just...in all honesty, I don’t want to take advantage of you being upset right now and I know that you don’t have feelings for me so a date would just complicate things, you know?”

Saying that you were thrown for a loop was an absolute understatement. It took you a moment or two to process what he just said before replying, “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it you know. And it’s not like I don’t have feelings for you.”

Midoriya shot up at break-neck speed. “”What?? What do you mean by that??”

“No it’s whatever really, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you say, fiddling around with the corner of the blanket. 

You feel Midoriya's hands gently move over to cover yours, pulling you back to look towards him. His eyes searched for an answer within your own and when you continued to stay silent, he said ”Literally if you don't tell me I'm going to spend all night trying to figure it out and you know I won't with how oblivious I am."

You look down at your interlaced hands and reply, “Well, you know, you’re my best friend and I genuinely enjoy spending time with you. Like I don’t think many people make me genuinely as happy as you do and I have feelings for you. I’ve thought about like being with you, but I like friends with you and  I don’t want to weird you out and push you away.” 

Midoriya lets go of your hands and for a moment, you think that this was the end, he was going to move out and never talk to you again. But before you can even register it, he pulls you into his arms and hugs you tight. He pulls you back and shifts his hands from the small of your back to your face, cupping it. His face has a huge grin plastered all over it. “Weird me out? I didn’t want to weird you out! I love spending time with you and I’ve wanted to go out with you for a long time. You don’t realize what a dream come true this is.”

At first, hearing that shocks yu, but then you start to laugh at how silly the situation is. You hug him back, happy to be on the same page. After you both let go, you smile and a moment passes between you two. It's a bit awkward but you know what you both are so happy that it’s okay. “Is it okay if I kiss you now.”

You’d never seen a man nod quicker in your life. “Yeah, yeah, that would be nice,” he replied, trying to play off his nod. Your hand slips to his cheek and you lean in to kiss him. You feel his smile against your lips, making you absolutely giddy. You pull away from him, your face flushed red. You looked up at Midoriya, whose green eyes shone with admiration. He just looked too cute; you couldn’t help but lean back into pepper kisses all over his face. 

With passion, Midoriya's need to hold you became too overwhelming. He gently eased you into his lap, lifting up both legs so they straddled his. Taking you by surprise, he kissed you repeatedly, as if to convince himself that this was no dream. With every separation of his lips from yours, he seemed more and more content. Breathlessly, he asked, "Is it too early for me to ask you to be my girlfriend?"

“Absolutely not,” you say, snaking your arms around his neck. You pour every drop of affection and joy you had for Midoriya into the kiss. “This is like a dream come true,” you thought.

You two spent the rest of the night, cuddling with each other as you finished the movie. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m so glad that guy flaked on you,” Midoriya said, kissing you softly on the forehead. 

You chuckle, leaning on his shoulder. “I couldn’t agree more.”

[nickyflowers]

poking my head around Bluesky every so often. the vibes stink. to be fair, i'm not following anyone so it's defaulting me to a Discover tab—but one of the first posts i saw in my brief visit today was a screenshot of a random comment from someone on cohost about how they didn't like Bluesky. they had a bad experience there and were simply venting. every reply to the screenshot is calling them a "dork ass loser", a "clown", a "dipshit", and most are assuming all of cohost think exactly like this person and what a stupid website full of morons, etc.

i don't understand the need to act like you're better than the users of a website on which you found an opinion you disagree with. why are we doing the Console Wars but with websites. why are you so upset that someone doesn't like your website of choice. what are we doingggg go the fuck outsideeeeeee

[vocalintel]

Toxic Yuri: Or, How I Learned to Start Worrying and Love The Bomb

I am going to go ahead and start throwing punches in my opening paragraph because it's been a while since I wrote a real post of any kind (remember Let's Talk Trans?) and I wanna get my views out there for the parasocial sycophants. I have pretty much always considered myself anti-ship, anti-map, anti-whatever the fuck. It's not necessarily from a position of puritanism, as I often see the opposition argue- I like John Waters movies, for god's sake- but more to do with the state of media literacy on the modern internet in general. It pains me to say something this cruel on a public platform but, frankly, a lot of the people involved in this debate are morons (anime bloggist crawfordpro has written a more eloquent post about this whole issue here, if you want to hear from someone a lot less confrontational than me). As much as I think the argument is just teenagers feeling out how to shape their social identities online, I also want to keep a lid on things and have it put straight out what my beliefs are and what forms the basis of them. Frankly, I am disgusted by grown adults sitting around on the internet that whine about how Mommy and Daddy aren't letting them play with their toys the way they want to. That is how it sounds to me when I see the proship people brag about how the haters will never succeed in taking away their underage incest smut.

Anyway. It's Yuri Day. I will probably also post a Yuri List for Yuri Day. As one does. But I am once again forced to confront the paradox of my values, or what some might call hypocrisy. It might be a sitewide hypocrisy, honestly. I see lots and lots and lots of posts about toxic yuri. About evil women. About bitches. Emotionally fraught codependency and dying like dogs and eating pomegranates. Perhaps it's some dark cynicism in me, a cruelheartedness I need to kill in myself, but a lot of the time I scroll by these posts and think "wow, OP would not survive Revolutionary Girl Utena". To evoke the infamous old post where someone went to see Hereditary in theatre because of Tumblr and then was extremely upset it was scary, I think there's a problem with left-leaning/feminist spaces online in general where everyone loves emotionally complicated women (evil bitches) until they actually read a story with an emotionally complicated woman in it. Everyone, it seems, loves freakin' at the freaker's ball until it starts contradicting their worldviews. Then they run back to their bastions of consumerist slop until it's safe for them to stop seriously thinking about their beliefs again.

And what of the memestatus of Toxic Yuri? The edges get sanded off. The moral complication is simplified down into who deserves to be hurt by the evil bitch and if the bitch is justified enough to do the hurting. Someone always has to be the heroine and someone always has to be the villain. Women can't be unpleasant because it's misogynist and women can't be too nice because it's misogynist, and if a man shows up he either has to be evil enough to justify killing him or weak enough to justify cucking him, sometimes both. There is no escaping everyone getting put into neat little boxes and slapped with a book of social rules detailing exactly how they should be punished for acting out of turn.

Even in more fannish communities where fujoshis rightly create genderbend yuri of their toxic yaoi, this shit happens. The Yuri Zine has an entire essay dedicated to talking about this, in particular highlighting how SQQ/LBH (from Scum Villain Self-Saving System) is softened and made comfy by the yuri girls and their feminization lasers. Why is it that it's fine to fuck a guy in the ass until he nearly dies when you're yaoi but when the story becomes two women there's only a smidge of gentle fingering? Is it wicked and foul of me to want more aggression and toxicity in my yuri? Is everyone reading this slowly coming to the conclusion that I'm American Psycho?

I mean, where are all the violent outpourings of female rage and hopelessness? Isn't that a thing we're supposed to have by now? Am I just looking in the wrong places? Because it's looking to me like even in a culture laying parallel to a largely uncensored, anonymous internet, people just don't want to write about women being aggressive and toxic. Lesbian stories are always about the redemptive power of love and full of gentleness and uncertainty. To put it meanly, a great deal of them are written under the stifling fear that someone somewhere might misconstrue either of the heroines as being predatory if they act outside their box. You can be gay, the yuri plot says, but you still have to act like a woman. The only allowable deviation is the actual lesbophobic stereotypes of hypersexual predators from male-oriented hentai shit. Which, frankly, I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. These caricatures ring just as false as their pillow-soft bambi lesbian counterparts.

An absence of cruelty is not kindness. An absence of hatred is not love. I hate how accusatory and mean I sound through all of this, but I just keep coming back to toxic yuri. How what's accepted in m/m fiction, what's accepted in heterosexual fiction, is completely taboo for f/f. I honestly quit reading yuri for a long time because I was so frustrated with this. It's not as though I actively want all women to be heartless sociopaths; I have repeatedly bounced off of girlboss media; movies like The Invisible Man remake and books like Burn The Negative. But there is like the full spectrum of human emotion that women, even in fiction, are seemingly never allowed to experience; and if they do, it has to be by a man's terms.

I know this is getting long. That's why I'm making it its own separate post from my yuri highlight list for the day. Most people probably don't want to be subject to my pathological desire to criticize everything and tear the world up with my teeth.

But like, don't you get tired of it? Don't you ever just get tired of it?

[thatoneguy031]

[OOC: This is another long boi post. Let's do this, shall we?]

[After Cherry snagged Suicune from outside Opelucid, the pair had made their way back to the location of the party. As they walked (And flew) to the door of the bathroom, they heard a faint noise, but they could barely make out that it was... crying?

Cherry rushed to the door, and began violently shaking the knob, much to Suicune and several humans' chagrin. Even further distressing them, she used Dragon Rush to ram the door open after realizing that just opening it wouldn't work. When she saw who was there, both she and Suicune were stunned.

In the bathroom laid Guy, who was too shocked from Cherry's abrupt entrance to continue crying, at least for the time being. His costume was a wreck. While it wasn't torn, the wrinkles and folds now in the suit said that that wasn't from a lack of trying, and it appeared that Guy had thrown the mask into the bathtub as well.

Guy's fur was a much darker blue than it had been up to that point, and his Miltank-lick that was once Dewott colored was nearly pitch-black. While he had left his helm outside in some bushes, his seamitars and the midsection of his tail were also a dark-blue, with the former containing that same stripe as before.]

...

..."Full... Cowling?"

[Guy tried as hard as Arceus would allow him to fake a smile, but Cherry and Suicune weren't buying it.

Cherry grabbed Guy's hand, practically yanking him upright.]

TELL US.

!???

You know exactly what I'm talking about! Cooper told us everything!...

...What the FUCK, Guy!? Why didn't you tell us anything?!

[Guy was stunned. For the first time since they'd met, Cherry had actually used his real name. She was serious.]

...

If you really wanted to avoid this place, you could've just told me! I wouldn't have been upset!

As a matter of fact, you've never told us jack shit about ANYTHING. What is your problem-

I'M MY PROBLEM, OKAY?!

...

[Guy began screaming at both her and Suicune.]

My life has been a living HELL since I evolved! I was borderline paralyzed for nearly a month because I didn't know HOW to move as a Samurott, I run into YOU a while after that. And because I'm a stupid loser desperate for friends, I did EVERYTHING in my power to make sure you stayed at my side, just short of flat-out STALKING YOU! But because I wasn't upfront about it, you just disappear for basically half a year! After that, I met YOU, Mx. Suicune, but before that, I basically had a heart attack because I can't stand humans!

And why is that?

I can't remember! As far as I'm aware, I'm just a coward that can't stand being around people! Whatever the reason, I will bet my BOTTOM POKEDOLLAR that it's something as brain-dead, pants-on-head moronic as the rest of me!

And the one person I COULD go to regardless of how badly crap hit the fan, THEY died! YEARS AGO, and I'm STILL not over it! For the longest time, it was just me and Shayla, and after they got involved in their own BS, it was just me!

And I was so desperate to make friends, I forgot to keep up with my training! I'm damn-near USELESS on this mess of a team!

Admit it, you two HATE me! It's fine, I'm used to it. Just say it so we can get this over with!

[Cherry and Suicune remained speechless.]

Then the stupid, I don't even know what- Stupid 'aura' thing that's happening! Like I needed literally ANYTHING ELSE I needed to worry about!

Then I turned to a burden you LITERALLY had to carry on your backs for two days because I'm so freaking USELESS, I can't even stand on my own four clumsy feet without help!

THEN THIS ARC-FORBIDDEN PARTY HAPPENED.

Literally, day TWO, I have another heart attack-whatever, and I hide in here for nearly a full DAY, and force YOU dudes to look for me, instead of not being a damned coward and coming out myself, because I was scared of what you two were gonna say to me!

I AM SICK of being seen as a liability!...

...So I think it'd be be better for all of us... if you didn't see me at all.

[Guy's breathing became very shaky and winded, which slowly turned into sobbing, and he turned around so that he wasn't facing them anymore.]

Please... For your sake and mine... Just leave. Before I get someone hurt.

...

[Cherry reached for Guy's paw again, turning him around.]

Guy, you DUMBASS!

?

I would've NEVER ditched you, and I really enjoy being around you, I really do! Suicune can vouch for me, too! And himself!

[The Suicune nodded slowly.]

Again, just tell us next time if something's wrong, dude! You had us worried sick! You're not a burden, at least not as much as you're making yourself to out to be. Even if you WERE, it's worth it to stay with you.

As... problematic, as your situation has been, for everyone involved,

you're a really cool dude to be around!

[Guy remained quiet, unable to say anything that wouldn't sound like incoherent nonsense. But his face said it all; He was glad to have folks like her and Suicune to call friends.

After Cherry Suicune grabbed Guy's belongings, the three of them slowly made their way out of the bathroom...

...only for there to be a human in front of them, presumably a Trainer.]

[mad2001-4]

⚠️Trigger Warnings: Mentioned death of family, mention of blood and screaming, PTSD of event, argument ⚠️

Rian's sour moods were notorious around Starhawk, and was something even the rudest members attempted to tip toe around, lest they upset Stakar and Aleta's youngest biological child. Stakar even tried to be accommodating to his son's moods.

But skipping three days worth of shifts was something that the ravager admiral couldn't just let slide completely.

What made it difficult was Rian hadn't been seen anywhere, at least not long enough for Stakar to catch him. He'd be seen in the cafeteria but gone before Stakar could make it down himself, having miraculously slipped away before anyone could actually see, let alone catch where he went.

Stakar had had enough though and was currently stomping through the ship-- his own ship which only succeeded in pissing him off further-- to find his son. It seemed Rian was using all his childhood hidey-holes to his advantage, but he was running out of them. Which was either really bad for Stakar or really bad for Rian, and he'd be dammed if he was going to let it be the former situation. The admiral was climbing up the ladder to the higher decks to a spot he himself would sneak up to now and then as well, where his three oldest children's memorabilia was kept. Upon reaching the latch he pushed it up and open, eyes narrowed as he finally found Rian, tucked away on a little beanbag, cigarette between his lips, and Vic curled up next to him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing up here boy?" he growled, climbing in further finally getting a good look at Rian. Heavy and obvious bags under his eyes and hair disheveled not even bothered to be pulled back in its usual low ponytail.

Rain groaned, leaning his head back, but pulled the cigarette from his mouth and releasing the drag of smoke into the air before he spoke, "Finally found me, old man?"

"Nows not the time to be making fun of me," Stakar growled, "what are you thinking, huh!? Skipping work? The hells the matter with you??"

"Great Anthos, can I not have time to myself when you're not breathing down my neck?? I mean cmon! Is it any wonder why I prefer being on mom's month cycle!?"

"If you like it there so much then why don't you just live there then?" Stakar spat.

"Because she fucking insists I come here to see you, moron!" Rian snapped back pulling his head up to fixate a glare on Stakar, "Because I'm not exactly given a choice!"

"Fine," Stakar huffed, unable to completely fight the notion knowing the first explanation was true, Aleta herself had said that, "What's so terrible about being here then?"

Rian scoffed incredulously, "You're kidding, right? Are you that delusional? Is dementia kicking in?"

"No," Stakar stated firmly, "I want you to tell me. What's so horrible about coming to see me? Huh? I do nothing but try to help you and take care of you and all you ever do is disrespect me over and over and over and I'm about sick of it."

"Right," Rian scoffed again taking in some of the cigarette once more, "because coming to yell at me for not taking care of your ship is soooooo flarkin' helpful. 10 out of 10 stars. Perfect parenting...." Rian sarcastically stated, "You wanna know why I haven't been working?" Rian asked before Stakar had a chance to retort, "Because I haven't slept in 3 days. So please, almighty, great, all knowing father, forgive me if dealing with you and your sorry ass, bitchy crew is not my priority."

Stakar grit his teeth, "Not sleeping sounds like a you problem, Rian. When you're here, you have work and you know that."

"Yeah," Rian snorted finishing his cigarette and immediately lighting another, "my nightmares are my own problem. Cause you'd do a real shitty job in comforting me. You know that?"

"You certainly never complained about it before," Stakar snarked back.

"What, when I was like 5? In case you haven't noticed, I'm 32 now, dad."

"Because you never trust me to help!" Stakar snapped exasperated, "How can I comfort you if you don't let me? You're a grown man, Rian!"

"Why in stars name, why would I let the man who is the reason I have these fucking nightmares in the first place comfort me?? What sense does that make!? I wake up feeling ill most of the time and it's all your fault!"

"You cannot and will not pin all this on me, Rian Ogord," Stakar warned.

"Then who else am I supposed to blame?" Rian demanded.

Stakar shook his head, "You're no innocent party."

Rian stared in shock a few moments, "...No i-innocent party?" he sputtered, "Are you serious!?"

"Why didn't you come home, try to contact someone. Maybe if you had, we could've been there soon enough to save them," Stakar insisted with a nod, "trusting a stranger to help you, putting yourself in danger. Never once contacting home. I'm not the only one at fault Rian. You aren't the only one that suffered."

"No. I just suffered the most," Rian growled, cutting Stskar off before he could speak once more, "you didn't have to stand there and listen to them dying dad! You didn't hear their screams, see their blood. They were screaming for you to save them, and I get to deal with that haunting noise, not you! Every. Fucking. Night. As for why I didn't call home, I was 15-years-old! I was barely a fucking teenager, I was still a kid! A scared kid! They told me they'd kill me too!! And I believed the people who were supposed to protect and love me had sent me and my siblings to our doom!! I thought that you sent me there to die!" Rian's voice grew louder and louder the longer his rant went on, tears down burning at his eyes as his shaky breaths just threatened to become more shallow. He leaned back into the beanbag seat, trying to gain some stability as Vic hopped up to his lap, headbutting his chest to try and soothe him. Rian eased in some kind of sign of defeat, not wanting to argue much further and spur on a legitimate panic attack.

Stakar stood numbed from all the emotions swirling within him, anger and guilt, directed at everyone possible, "...I never would've sent you kids if I knew it was going to be dangerous. I had sent you because I thought it was safe.." he said, admittedly unsure if it was an attempt to defend himself or comfort Rian. It earned a weak snort from his son regardless.

"Yeah. Now I know that. But a teenage kid didn't. You blame me for trusting a stranger too... yeah. I did. It seemed like he valued me. Took care of me. Did what my parents didn't... or so it seemed," he took a long drag of his cigarette, Vic still rubbing him even after he covered his face in his free hand.

"We both wo-"

"I'm not done," Rian growled, "I followed your fucking code despite it all. Hoping if I was good enough, maybe my parents would come save me or some shit. I'd thought I'd done something to make you send me away.."

Stakar sighed softly letting the silence rein for a little bit before moving to sit next to Rian, "I'm sorry we weren't there. We were told you all had died. We were grieving. We all suffered, Rian."

Rian took his turn to sigh, getting rid of his second cigarette in the ash tray, nodding a little bit, "I know you guys did, dad," he relented.

Stakar hesitated again before gently wrapping his arm around Rian. Much to the admiral's surprise, Rian leaned gently against his father, "We'll see you soon... that was the last thing you told all of us.." the son mumbled.

Stakar casted his gaze down, "Yeah... yeah it was," he murmured, resting his chin on top of Rain's head like he used to. Silence settled a bit longer before Stakar added softly, "Get some rest, junior," he hummed, "you'll feel better after. And I won't leave your side for anything in the galaxy."

[lafemmedarmitage]

Well, I didn't think I would write another KinnPorsche meta any time soon since lately the series has brought me nothing but disappointment (damn you ep9, it all has started from you). But the fact that fans seriously compare Kinn's behaviour in ep9&10 and Porsche's in ep13 baffles me so I just couldn't help myself.

Let me be clear - for me, Kinn did NOTHING wrong in ep9&10. Absolutely nothing. Except for moronic flirt with Tawan at the beginning but here I blame writers (they've been doing a shitty job lately, and ep9 is exactly when it all started) cuz it was completely out of character. Everything else is absolutely fine with me, so if you don't agree please skip this meta, you won't find anything interesting here.

Let's recall everything Kinn's been accused of:

You brought you ex into the house.

Well, Porsche, don't wanna upset you but it wasn't some relationship stuff Kinn was dealing with. He brought the traitor into his family's house. Not yours and Kinn's house. Mafia's house. It was family business, Kinn decided to leave him here because of this mafia stuff and it had nothing to do with you as boyfriend. Do I think that it's incredibly stupid that Kinn and Porsche didn't have even one proper conversation about Tawan during the whole episode? Yes. Do I think that Porsche should've come to Kinn and simply ASKED what's going on instead of spying on him? Yes. Screenwriters fucked up a lot, cuz after all lovey-dovey ep8 this lack of communication looks like a stupid tool for draaamaaaa out of nowhere. But still, this "you brought your ex" argument is incredibly stupid. It wasn't ex, it was traitor. See a bigger picture, Porsche.

2. You locked me in the basement.

Well... what else should Kinn have done? You were caught red-handed, spying on Tawan simply cuz you didn't consider it necessary to talk to Kinn and decided to play Agent 007 instead. Kinn trusted you, for sure, and ofc he didn't believe that you were a spy or smth, but let's not forget that Tawan was there too and Tawan had to be assured that everything was going according to his plan. Kinn was ready to set you free but you decided to run away with Vegas :))) And we do remember that Porsche ran away without having any plan. I've seen some posts like "sure Porsche has a plan" but the funniest and dumbest part is that he didn't. He didn't have a fucking plan. He didn't think Vegas is evil, he didn't know how he's gonna confront Tawan. He simply ran away from Kinn because he trusted Vegas AGAIN. So when he says...

3. You never trust me.

... I was like - do we have to? You make it so easy not to trust you. You were fooled by Vegas for the 3d? 4th? 5th time? I lost count. Fans were so eager to believe that Porsche was witty and always one step ahead of Vegas (like in ep7 or ep9, I remember these theories) but sad truth - he was not. I don't know why screenwriters made Porsche so dumb but I'm extremely disappointed.

So yeah, all these accusations in ep10 were total bullshit but still somehow Kinn was a bad guy there. Well, okay, I almost made my peace with that.

But ep13 has nothing in common with ep9&10. Okay, I can get that Porsche was worried about Kinn's reaction if he found out the truth about Korn. Seriously, I get that. But how can he doubt Kinn?! Porsche really said "I can't trust anyone in the main family?" Seriously? Then why this "I love you" has been even said? Out of pity? Or it was his plan as well? Kinn didn't doubt Porsche in ep9&10. Porsche in ep13 did.

But of course the worst part is Porsche trusting Vegas over Kinn again. Yes, he uses him as a tool, yes they're not best friends, but still somehow Porsche is certain that Vegas can be trusted more than Kinn (cuz he's the only one who "can't be bought by the main family"). So yeah, well, you have every right not to trust Kinn, he's from mafia family, he lied to you several times, he wasn't a nice person at the beginning (though for me Kinn was a perfect boss even in the first episodes - we do remember Porsche's behaviour there, right). You don't trust him - okay, your choice. But don't you dare then say anything about "love". This is not love. Nothing close. You know, here I remembered one conversation between Clark and Lois from "Smallville". Clark went to the suicide mission and didn't tell Lois anything trying to protect her. And Lois there said very wise words:

"You're a part of me now, Clark. A half of the whole. So in the future, if there's even a chance that the mission might claim my better half, sign me up. Because I'd rather be in some sandblown purgatory with you than in the hell of never knowing if I'll ever see you again"

So, well, Porsche, if you really do love this man, there's something for you to think about.

I do get that Porsche is supposed to be in love with Kinn and ofc I don't believe in evil love plot or smth like that, they will get their happy ending. And you know, ep13 showed me Porsche's feelings even better than ep8 - he was so tender with Kinn, he was torn between his wish to tell the truth and his own doubts, I actually believed that he's in love with Kinn. But this atrocious plot with choosing Vegas over Kinn and "I can't trust anyone in the main family" got me so irritated, I just can't. Screenwriters are absolutely inconsistent in writing Porsche's character that's why I'm extremely disappointed in the second half of the series. Maybe the last episode will make things a bit better (I sincerely hope so) but this will not change the fact that KinnPorsche had so much potential and they could've been so much more if these novel (I guess) plotholes had been corrected in the series.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Preview: Gateway Drug | Volume II | Part Two

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"...You are so fucking lucky I didn't call Nikki and tell him about this." Doc grumbles to me, irritated as all hell as we walk out of the Los Angeles Police Department.

"The asshole deserved it." Axl cuts in, sticking up for me yet again before Doc whips around to face us.

"Okay, see, I don't care what you do." He states to him, raising his brows. "But she's done enough shit back to back to back for the past two years..." he trails off, looking at me, "Aren't you tired?!"

I go to answer him, apologetically, but I'm cut off by him insisting, "of course you're not, you're a Sixx, you people thrive off of stressing me, and everyone else at the damn office, out." He throws up his hands as he turns to continue walking in front of us on the way to his car.

"Maybe if these morons didn't talk so much she wouldn't have to shut them up." Axl continues.

"These morons talk because she has given them plenty to talk about, Mr. Rose. I'm not exactly sure what they teach in Indiana, but where I'm from there's this thing called, 'if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough'." He says harshly. "You wanted to roll around with Duff without any preventives, so now you just have to face the fact that some people think you're a slut for it. I don't know what else to fucking tell you other than the more you get arrested, the harder it is to get you out. Those records don't go away just because you're married to Nikki." He warns me and we get to his car.

"Are you gonna tell Nikki?" It's as if his whole speech goes right over my head — mainly because it did.

Anytime he opens his mouth I just drown it out, anymore.

He looks at me, as if to say, "did you even hear anything I just said?"

"You two sucker punched someone simultaneously. Nikki's gonna hear about it somewhere, anyway." He tells me.

"Like he's gonna give a shit." Axl blares, the tone of his voice letting me know he's getting sick of Doc. "He would've done the same damn thing — maybe even worse — if he'd been there. Everyone's been telling her to ignore everyone for the last year and she's sick of it so why shouldn't she stick up for herself? Maybe when people know they have a chance of getting their asses handed to them, they'll shut the fuck up."

He makes a good point, and Doc doesn't argue it, he just looks at me and says, "I suggest you tell Nikki before he hears it anywhere else."

I dread the possibility of hearing him bitch me out about yet another altercation, but I also find some refuge in Axl's words.

Nikki would've done the same thing had he been there, so maybe he won't be upset.

Besides, it's Valentine's Day. He can't be mad at me on Valentine's Day.

[christmasintheloonybin]

have been semi voluntarily abstinent for... a little over two years I guess. I say semi voluntary because I don't seek it out and I have all of my moral dilemmas and psychological problems, but really if the opportunity had presented itself to me i probably would have taken it, i am not exactly beating off women with a stick lol. but also most of the time I just don't want to. and when I do want to it passes quickly, I'm not losing sleep or anything. and I really just don't look at people this way. I'm not above it or anything I'm just fucking autistic. I don't like it when people touch me you know. even people I know well. and I'm not ashamed or anything like this, my cock is normal btw I'm not deformed or anything. and I mean I can and have gone through with sex with strangers, it's just depressing.

anyways, maybe this is my problem, maybe if I get laid I'll just be normal, it's worth a shot at least. the problem is, I'm not going to get on the apps, if... well if you know my lore you probably know who I'm talking about. if a former gf of mine comes back to town I could probably convince her to have sex with me. just to see if this resets something in me. maybe I'll literally just be a normal guy. I mean there is a biological level to this, even if I don't mind it emotionally I'm not insecure about not getting laid, I think it might reset something I'm not even aware of.

so a message to the mutuals, please fuck me, that's a joke for most of you, the mutuals I don't know very well, come to the forest, hmu.

it would be just my luck to try this experiment and get some weird promiscuous genetic defective pregnant and have to look after some moron kid. that would suck. I'd do it but it would be a pain.

I heard somewhere, women talking about getting laid and saying they haven't gone like three months without having sex since they were 15. this blew my mind but it sort of makes sense, if you're an attractive woman, or really not even, you can be busted as fuck if you can find a guy who's desperate enough. it is not hard to get laid. men ranking women is a cope because genuinely, if you're a woman and you say "hi would you like to have sex with me?" most men would say yes to most women. unless you're really unfortunate looking. this isn't incel posting its just a fact of life, I'm not upset about it, this is a power women have and it's part of, again, natural selection. I'm glad that it is this way. I think men should have some kind of sexual frustration, not building up to rape or whatever but forcing them to strive to improve themselves. maybe this is why I'm such a loser.

[alirhi]

...goddess help me...

This fucking episode. *deep breath* This... This episode is where I'm expecting to get some serious hate. Let me just get this out of the way right up front:

I. Hate. Zemo.

I do not find him sympathetic, or funny, or charming. I find him creepy and annoying. I did not like him in CA:CW and I do not like him in TFATWS. If you are pro-Zemo, you are not going to like my version of this show from here on out. Just find something else to read and don't bother me about it. You've got the actual canon, so go enjoy that.

Got it? Good. Now, on to the main event!

Episode 3: The Power Broker

First of all, Sam doesn't let Bucky walk in there alone. No matter Bucky's (flimsy and nonsensical) argument, Sam's like "hell no. I go in with you, or you don't go in." The main reason for this isn't to keep Bucky from breaking Zemo out of prison (with decent writing, he would never do that) - it's so that Sam witnesses Zemo taunting Bucky with/about the trigger words. because Zemo is a piece of shit.

Since he doesn't know the full story, Sam is confused, but he files this interaction away to ask Bucky about later. He's listening to Zemo acknowledging that Bucky was "not conscious for most of [his] imprisonment" (which, yes, clearly refers to the time he spent frozen, but can also mean while he was under their control as TWS/"The Asset" - also, key word: imprisonment) and when he calls Bucky a means to an end, Sam scowls, looking ready to go off on him, but he waits. They've got more important issues.

Neither of them entertains the thought of breaking Zemo out for even a nanosecond. He does that shit himself. And literally the only reason I'm sticking with him getting out at all is because I want to address some truly egregious moments linked directly to him in the show. Zemo makes them think he's setting them on the trail when really he's just sending them to his motor pool. Bucky and Sam are confused until they see Zemo in his stolen guard uniform, then they're both angry and want to ship him right back to prison, but he strikes a deal with them: "My help for my temporary freedom. Creating super soldiers cannot be allowed to continue; let me finish my work, and then do with me as you will." He has no intention of going quietly back to prison, obviously, and they're not stupid enough to believe otherwise, but they believe they can keep him on a short leash, so they agree for now. Anything to bring down the Flag Smashers and whoever created them.

After the title, we cut to Raynor on the phone in her office. She's agitated, fiddling with things on her desk. "No, sir," she's practically growling, "it was disrupted. - Walker did! - It's not my fault your new attack dog got off-leash!" She pauses, huffs, and says more calmly, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry. - Well, I don't see how, with the new Cap strutting around barking orders! - What am I supposed to do? Tell Captain America in front of a dozen witnesses that he can't have his predecessor's favorite pet because we're not done reprogramming him? I didn't see that going over too well. I made a call. - No. No, no, no, we can still use him. The work's not finished, but he still trusts me. He'll be back." A pause as she listens. Angry again, she snaps, "What do you want me to do, shove a tracker up his ass? He'll be back, and we'll pick right back up where we left off! - Don't worry, sir, the Asset will be fully compliant and ready to use soon. I'll make sure of it. - Yes, sir. You, too." She hangs up and tosses her phone on the couch, grumbling, "Dick."

Cut back to Sam, Bucky, and Zemo getting going on their trip to Madripoor. On the plane, Sam wants to talk to Bucky about what he's learned so far, but doesn't want to bring it up in front of Zemo... until the notebook incident reminds him that Zemo already knows more about Bucky than he does.

After Zemo's line about the list, Sam angrily corrects him: "You mean people HYDRA used The Winter Soldier to hurt." When Zemo shrugs and his response is basically along the lines of "what's the difference" Sam is like "oh hell no."

"Those words you were reciting at him," he reminds Zemo, "what were they, Russian? They clearly meant something. They were supposed to do something. What are they?" "Sam, let it go," Bucky pleads, unable to look at either of them. "It's nothing." "You wanna drown in your guilt, that's fine," Sam snaps, "but make sure it's for the right reasons." He turns back to Zemo, who's smiling at this exchange because he's a monster and thinks Bucky's suffering is fucking funny. "I asked you a question, Zemo. What did those words do?" "They activate the Winter Soldier programming," Bucky grudgingly admits. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he's sure as hell not going to let Zemo speak for him. "Or, they did, before the Wakandans got all that shit out of my head." "It's a shame," Zemo says with a smirk. "Imagine the possibilities that come with perfect obedience." "I think you mean 'slavery'," Sam growls, "and I think you're in the wrong crowd to be looking so pleased about it. Remember that we can send your ass back to prison any time." "Of course," Zemo agrees, but with an arrogant smile that shows he doesn't believe for a second that these two have any real power over him. Still, he bides his time and sits back quietly, watching Bucky fidget with the notebook. Sam turns back to Bucky, seeing his discomfort; he won't let the topic go, though, not yet. He just softens his tone. "So, they 'activated the Winter Soldier'? What exactly does that mean?" Bucky shrugs, still not looking up. "Pretty much what he said - perfect obedience. What little consciousness they left me between cryo and the chair was squashed down, locked away. And I did whatever I was told, exactly the way they told me to." It finally clicks. He'd had his suspicions before, of course, but now Sam gets it. Visibly horrified, he stares at this quiet, broken man, and finally sees the truth of what he'd been through for 70 years: "They stripped away your autonomy. Shit, Bucky, they didn't even let you be a person. That's..." He swallows, looking like he'll be sick any minute. "That's awful, man. I'm so sorry." When Bucky tries to shrug it off and downplay it again, Sam gets angry. "Look at me!" He waits; it takes a few seconds, but Bucky reluctantly looks up and is surprised to see just how upset Sam is on his behalf. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. When Steve said you didn't have a choice, I had no idea... You really, truly had no choice; not even the ability to choose. That's horrifying." "I doubt it would make much difference to the people he's killed," Zemo points out snidely. "Or their families. Let's ask Tony Stark, shall we?" "You shut the hell up," Sam growls. He watches Bucky flinch and make that face - the face he's starting to really fucking hate - that says he agrees with Zemo. Bucky still can't see things the way Sam does; he still feels the guilt and shame, and even when he himself pointed out his lack of agency under HYDRA, it didn't click for him that Sam is right, not Zemo.

It's too much, too soon. Sam sees that and decides to change the subject, to give Bucky some time to process. He nods at the notebook, and they have their little Marvin Gaye debate, where Sam is over the top about it on purpose, because Bucky needs the distraction.

Of course, Zemo ruins it by opening his big mouth again and reminding Bucky of more trauma: his time fighting in WWII. That's why Sam latches onto the bit about Madripoor; to keep the focus not only on the task at hand, but off of Bucky's past that he clearly still can't cope with.

"James... You will have to become someone you claim is gone." Sam is officially ready to throw Zemo out a window. 😂 The only reason he doesn't jump to Bucky's defense again and basically tell Zemo to fuck himself (in a PG-13 way 🙄) is because Bucky's, as Sam pointed out in ep2, a grown-ass man, and because he's just learned how few decisions this poor man has been able to make in his life. Sam doesn't want to come across as another "handler," deciding everything for him, even if he does think this plan is stupid and needlessly cruel.

At the bar, when asked if he wants "the usual", Sam just casually waves the bartender off like "nah". Zemo already said they had business to attend to, so it's not like anyone would be suspicious that now's probably not a good time to be doing weird shots lol. (wtf even was that? I'm not sure I want to know, but...what part of the snake did he drop into that drink?)

Sam's not an idiot (I'm really so sick of this trend of turning intelligent characters into morons because the writers can't think of any other way to move their plot along) so his cell phone has been off this whole time. No sudden call from Sarah to put them all in danger. There was really no point to that, anyway; Sharon likely would have killed Selby for talking about Nagle with or without the excuse of "saving" Sam and Bucky. I mean, it's not like they know who fired that shot, ever.

"They cleared the Bionic Staring Machine," Sam still jokes, but he follows it with, "and they think he's a mass-murderer." "They think?" Sharon stares at him incredulously. "Didn't he kill pretty much everyone he's ever met?" "Wow." Sam glances back at Bucky. "She really is awful now." To Sharon, he adds, "You met Steve; do you really think he'd have defied 117 countries to protect someone evil?" "He did it for Bucky," she points out. "Let's face it - Bucky could blow up half the planet, and Steve's loyal-to-a-fault ass would still take a bullet for him." "You know I'm sitting right here, right? I can hear you." "Look, I don't think you're evil, Bucky," Sharon assures him. "But I know you killed a lot of people for HYDRA." "I'm not denying it." "He didn't have a choice," Sam snaps, glaring at them both. "But we're not getting into that right now. My point is, the government's afraid of Bucky, and they still pardoned him. All you did was steal something. I'm sure they can be persuaded to see reason." "The day the US government sees reason," Sharon quips, rolling her eyes, "is the day I sprout real wings and fly off into the sunset." "Careful, Icarus," Bucky mocks with a smirk, "the sun and brand new wings don't exactly go together." Then he shrugs and glances at Sam. "But she's not wrong."

At the party that night, it takes a few minutes (grumpy old man Bucky's not sure how to feel about the music lol) but a peek of pre-war Bucky comes out to play: they were told to "blend in", so he dances. At first he's just bobbing around alone looking stoic and out of place, but soon he's smiling and dancing between two attractive people - one male, one female. Sam is surprised, but before he can tease him for it, Sharon comes to get them all. Even she's a little "wait what?" at Bucky having a little fun lol. (recovery is not linear, guys. trauma doesn't mean "perpetually miserable, no fun, doesn't even know how to smile." in my TFATWS, Bucky gets his lighter moments; real ones, not humor at his expense)

When they find Nagle, Bucky's the one who notices and opens the secret door, while Sam keeps an eye on Zemo. Bucky catches Zemo trying to grab that gun; closes the drawer on his hand before opening it and taking the gun away. "Nice try." Nagle tries to get away while there's only one person watching him, but Sam catches him and forces him back into his seat. With a bruising grip on the back of Zemo's neck, Bucky drags him back over to where he and Sam can both keep an eye on him. Nagle is killed in the shootout as they're trying to escape; Zemo still runs off, blows shit up, and comes back with the stolen car so he's not totally useless.

I had no problem with Zemo being the one to kill Nagle; Nagle was the worst and def had to die, and Zemo has never had an issue killing anyone. Where I took issue with this scene was Bucky and Sam being dumb enough to let Zemo wander and get his hands on a gun. Nope. Not happening.

Anyway, shootout! Explosions! Funny banter! The seat thing, which is my favorite nod to CW ever lol... And then the conversation on the plane...

"You okay?" "Yeah." Sam sighs. "Just thinking." "About how to get Sharon that pardon you dangled in front of her?" He shakes his head. "About how Nagle referred to 'The Winter Soldier Program" like it was some kind of after school club; like you weren't standing right there. And 'the American test subject' like... Like Isaiah wasn't even a real person." He turns to face Bucky, looking angry and weary. "Makes me wonder how many times... How many times are we gonna run around in the same circles before people learn? And how many people need to get crushed underfoot in the meantime?" "Did you really just equate me with Isaiah?" Bucky frowns, not sure how to react to that. "That man is a hero." Sam opens his mouth to say something, but his phone goes off and Zemo approaches at the same time, effectively cutting off their conversation.

When they get to Riga and Zemo tries to guilt trip them over Sokovia, Bucky deadpan reminds him, "Neither of us were involved in that fight." "I doubt you'd have been much help if you were." He shrugs. "Probably not. But I like to save my guilt for events I was actually present for. It's a thing." Zemo laughs. "Fair enough."

Bucky goes on his walk, and meets up with Ayo.

[jinxthequeergirl]

Tripple Threat

Billy loomis x Reader x Stu Macher

Summary: you survived a Ghostface attack in sneeky way and the boys find out you are a lot more intresting than they had expected.

Warning: swearing, mention of murder?

This took me so fuckin long to write for no good reason, and it still sucks ass

~~~~~~~

You felt him watching again, but you knew that the second you'd turn around to look out the french doors to the porch he would be gone or just not there at all. 

It made you think you were paranoid.

They had been at this for weeks now, only you couldn't figure out why the Hell they hadn't already finished the Job and Ended you. 

They were playing with you, you knew it, wanted to see you drive yourself insane figuring it out. Going back and forth between Is he or isn't he? Is it all in my head or not? Sick fuck.

You shook the thoughts from your head placing the bags on the counter along with your other belongings 

 pulling the movies out of the bag looking at them still deciding which one would be the one for the night. You counted down from five in your head as you looked them over again, just like you had in the video store. 

 On one the phone rang just like you knew it would. It was another part of this game. One of the reasons you knew he was watching now. You made not rush to cross the room and pick up the phone.

 "Hello?" 

You hummed walking over to the Back doors and Unlocking them and pulling them open. "Movie night?"

 He asked as you stepped onto the back porch, the Thick summer air, although cooled a bit too the lack of sun, instantly slapped you in the face with its heat.

 "How'd you guess?"

 You asked sarcastically, scanning the yard for any sign of either of them. 

"I'm good like that." 

"Right." 

There was a rustling sound from the bush beside you making you jump away only to find a Lizard crawl out at your feet. 

"Jumpy tonight aren't we?" 

"What can I say? You don't exactly set me at ease." 

"Ah Boo, Guess I'm failing at my job."

 You chuckled heartlessly. "What do you want?" You finally asked him." It was silent for a moment.

 "Hello? Hey dick, Cat got your tounge!? Answer me!" 

More quiet. 

"Fine, Don't answer me! And don't call back!" 

"Gosh you're cute when you're angry.And to think I made you that angry...hmm wonder what else I could-" 

"Answer my question."

 You snapped now walking to the edge of the porch in an attempt to  try and spot them.  

"You know, I heard what you said to that boyfriend of yours before you threw him at us to save yourself.." You gulped at the thought of what you'd done.

"Oh...you're a tough cookie I didn't think Fear was something you felt, maybe it's not fear more like Guilt." 

He was playing with you, trying to get reactions from you. 

"I remember what you said to your boyfriend, how you pushed him right into the knife, blood splatting up to cover your pretty face."

"What are you getting out of this? Why play these games? You could easily kill me right now...and any time before that especially on that night when you planned on doing it." 

"Oh poor little princess, is living with the guilt getting to be too much for you!?" You opened your mouth but it was quickly covered by a gloved hand and you were yanked back Into the house. 

You growled into the glove and used all your weight into pushing him back into the corner of the counter. 

He let out a sharp cry in pain and loosened his grip on you enough for you to escape his hold. But he grabbed your ankle pulling you down to the floor with a hard smack, you hissed in pain as he pulled his knife out and moved to pin you down.

But you weren't having it and sat up, head butting him and knocking him off of you enough so you could roll on top of him, pinning him down and yanking the mask off of him. 

"Billy fucking loomis!" You chuckled. "No goddamn way!" 

"You're a tricky one." He said from under you. 

"Yea...and your so fucking dead." You said hitting his chest. He only smirked at you and leaned up closer to your face. 

"No, you." You narrowed your eyes and glanced up to look at the back door, seeing the second if the pair running up behind you in the reflection. 

You ducked his knife attack getting up intime for him to turn and face you. you quickly twisted his arm behind his back, taking the knife from him and pulling his own mask off. 

"Ah! Stu Macher!?" You laughed in his ear and held the knife to his throat as Billy got up. 

"What a fuckin dream team." 

"C'mon y/n! No hard feelings!" Stu said a little worried. "Yea, besides you wouldn't actually do it." Billy said a little more confidently. You tilted your head and tightened your grip on him, pushing the knife closer to his neck. 

"You're absolutely right Loomis, I won't." You smirked as an idea came into your head. 

"Unless.." 

"Unless what!?" He spat at you, you pulled Stu back with you as you backed away from Billy slightly. 

"I want in!" You said excitedly. 

Stu laughed a little. 

"I told you I liked her, Billy." 

"Awe! I like you too Stu!" You said nuzzling into his neck and planting a light kiss on his jaw. "A lot! And I'll be really upset if I have to carve up Your pretty little face! So! do we. Have. A. Deal?" 

Billy smirked at you and nodded slowly. 

"Sure we've got a deal, let Stu go and we can talk about it."

"I'm not a Moron dipshit! I have A's in all my classes, Including my Human Anatomy class so I know exactly where to Cut Stu here so he dies within seconds! So don't fucking trick me!" 

Billy held up his hands and slowly set his knife down on the ground and kicked it across the floor. "Now I promise you, we just want to talk."

"Thank you." You let stu go pushing him away from you. "Can we keep her?" Stu asked giddily as he stood next to billy. You tapped the tip of the knife to your lip with a smile. 

"Sure we can, Stu." Billy said walking over to you almost sizing you up, he cupped you face in his hand. "You know you're the only person to ever escape us Twice." He said looking at you as you leaned into his touch. 

"I think we could make this work." 

"Glad to hear it." You said leaning up to peck his lips. "How bout we talk about this over dinner? I'll buy."  Stu rushed over and looped his arm with yours.  "Sounds perfect." You looked at Billy and offered your hand. "You in?" 

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

I'm baaaack! I want fluff with Neville please 🥺! Maybe when reader wants to stand up for him by giving him little pecks,and they have that kind of relationship throughout the years. So when draco is mocking him for it, she comes and shuts him up by kissing Neville! And then she's like "Yeah I'm his! So what! Got a problem!" And Neville is a flustered bean, and he confesses his feelings while stammering. I know I tend to ask Draco but Neville is a soft boi at heart ❤️

Neville is so pure oml

You were a bit of an oddball. People knew who you were, yeah but you were mainly well known for your strange personality. You were a person who's love language was touch. When your friends found this out they mainly found this cute, especially Luna. You always had this way of making people smile, cheering people up if they were upset.

Neville was your best friend though. You met him in herbology one year and he thought you were very sweet and very smart. Luna noticed this and actually managed to get you to talk to him. You ended up liking his personality, he was sweet. Timid, yes. But sweet. You and him winded up becoming friends and that's when he discovered your love for hugs.

He was walking to class one day and you saw him and he waved. You ran over and hugged him though, catching the guy off guard. "Is this not okay? It's okay if it isn't--" "No no it's fine I just didn't expect it!" He stuttered. You smiled at him and booped his nose before running off to class. That's when it hit Neville like a truck "Oh fuck. I like her"

He always expected hugs now though, and he certainly got them. But over time the hugs would turn longer or you'd be too busy to fully stop so you'd kiss his cheek before running off. You slowly became very close to Neville and he genuinely couldn't tell if you liked him or if it was all friendly.

Let me tell you, you definitely liked him. Poor Luna had to listen to you spew about how cute and smart he was. Luna didn't mind it but it was very odd to hear her two best friends mention how much they liked each other. Luna finally had an accidental slip up and admitted though that Neville liked you.

You didn't know how to exactly go about this but you didn't really change the dynamic of your friendship with him. You still hugged him. You still had late night talks on the common room couch with hot cocoa and telling each other secrets that no one else but the two of you would understand. You still gave him pecks on the cheek and he still gave you flowers that he grew himself. You wanted to say something but you were scared.

Then one day Draco made something change. He noticed you two laughing together in herbology. Draco for some reason felt the need to start saying ridiculous things like "Christ, these two are friends now and it's insufferable" or "I wonder if you enjoy being friends with someone who's terrified of air." So you eventually snapped. "What's next Y/n, dating this moron?" Draco laughed at you. "So what if I did!?" You asked. "What?" Neville asked, looking at you. "So what if I did have feelings for Neville, so what if I actually really liked him? Why does that concern you Malfoy?" You snapped. Neville blinked a few times. Draco of course retreated back, him usually being all bark and no bite. You and Neville didn't say anything until you were in the common room, sitting on the couch as you watched the flames in the fireplace dance.

"...Y/n were you serious?" Neville asked. "Yes. I already know you like me though Luna accidentally told me when Harry put truth serum in her glass." You admitted. Neville swallowed and looked at you. "So you... You like me too?" He asked. "Of course... Neville you're the sweetest guy I know and you know things about me that if they ever got out I'd literally have to kill you." You said making him chuckle. "I do like you... Truly I do." You admitted. Neville slid his hand into yours and you smiled at him, him pulling you closer and finally kissing you. You smiled against his lips and put a hand on his cheek. He smiled at you, him kissing your palm and making you smile even brighter.

For the rest of the evening you and him were literally just cuddling on the couch, his arms around you and whispering little things in your ears. You wouldn't trade this feeling for the world.

Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @mariah-can-dream

[gildedmuse]

Sora: Warrior Of The Sea

(A RedHawk Production)

Cavendish's constantly flirting with Law, because hey if it gets him a bigger role....

Zoro isn't sure why exactly, but he wants to punch Cavendish in the face. He's suggested (to Luffy, in private) that his character gets to do so multiple times. Luffy thinks it's hilarious. Of course Zoro wants to punch Cavendish.

Zoro: No, I mean our characters...

Luffy: Shishishi that doesn't make sense, Zoro. Why would Daichi punch Cavendish when Torao isn't even in the show.

Zoro: *grumbles* It had nothing to do with Torao.

Luffy: Unless---!!! Did Torao put himself in the next show? Who does he play? Does he have a costume? Is it awesome?

Zoro: What? No, of course he didn't -- You know you can read the scripts, right?

Luffy: That's boring. I'd rather see what happens. Although I'll bet I know what part Torao would give himself if he did!

Zoro: Someone with puppet string powers so he could force Ace and I to act more like the manga?

Luffy: Shishi, Zoro's always so funny. Noooooo, stupid. *Beaming up at him, like he knows a secret* I know what Torao would do. Torao would play a character that got to kiss Daichi! Shishishi.

Zoro: W-what?! *Under his breath, as if anyone cares about their conversation enough to listen in or would be surprised by this* Stop messing around, Luffy! Idiot! Why would you say something like that?

Luffy: Cause then he'd get to kiss ZORO. And in front of everyone, too, just like he wanted to- mmfff!

Zoro: Luffy! *jolts forward to cover Luffy's mouth* H-he does not want to--! No one wants to--! *Sighs, letting go before Luffy gets bored and starts licking his palm. He totally knows him too well* What a stupid thing to say.

Luffy: *Pouting beacuse it was NOT a stupid thing to say and he doesn't understand why Zoro is being so mean and weird when Luffy is being so helpful!* No it's not! Torao watched all - *Makes a longing sort of face, but tries to glare as well, the way Law does* - when Ace and Zoro kissed at the party last year. *Frowns at the memory, pointing an accusing finger in Zoro's face* Zoro is the stupid one for making Torao spend the rest of the party pouting in the back. He wouldn't even come watch me and Carrot have an eating contest and that was super fun!

Zoro: *Eye twitching* You moron, that's not the reason Law didn't want to watch you two eat. Anyway, he's always like that. He probably didn't even want to go to that stupid party in the first place.

Luffy: Everyone loves parties. Torao was probably having tons of fun until Ace and Zoro kissed, and it's worse because everybody saw!

Zoro: *Starts to ask why that’s so important but stops because Luffy logic* What does it matter? It was just some stupid party game. And Torao didn’t seem to mind when Cavendish kissed him earlier! 

Luffy: But Torao didn’t go all red after and tell everyone how good at kissing Cavendish is. 

Zoro: *Flushes all over again just at the memory. He might have been slightly tipsy. and as luck would have it Ace IS a really, really good kisser. In a way Zoro had not been expecting,*

Luffy: *Eyes go wide* That's why Torao wants to kiss Daichi! Then maybe Zoro will think Torao is an even better kisser than Ace AND everyone would see it so then they’d all know that Zoro belonged to Torao and likes Torao more! 

Zoro: *Knew that he’d regret learning Luffy’s logic behind the importance of everyone seeing him kiss someone* That’s not how tha-- Wait, no. *Shakes head, not believing he’s been dragged into this* I told you, Todorao didn’t write himself in the show. And if he did, he wouldn’t make a character who kissed Daichi. It wouldn’t be “like the original”. I, uh, flipped through the manga just to see if there were some better fights coming up. *Will die before he admits he read the whole series because Law seemed so upset he’d heard of it before* Daichi already has a love interest. It’s....*Shudders* Poison Pink. They even kiss this episode. *Looks like a man condemned at the thought that he’s going to have to kiss Perona of all people.* See it's right.... *Skimming the script, frowning when he can't find the page.*

Luffy: Shishishi. Only Zoro could lose his way inside a script!

Zoro: I didn’t get lost! It was here in the last draft I swear. *Flushing less out of embarrassment more of anger* Perona made me practice. Apparently my kissing isn’t “cute” enough for the princess. 

Luffy: Hmm.... *Thinks about Perona threatening Zoro to practice so he doesn’t gross her out while everyone is watching* 

Luffy: *Thinks about Perona being all gleeful cause she gets to boss Zoro around, even if it’s just telling him how he should kiss her. She’d probably make him do it again and again just so she got to keep bossing him around.* 

Luffy: *Pictures a mini Law peaking into the dressing room and seeing Perona get kissed by Zoro* 

Luffy: You should practice the kissing scene with Torao! *said loud enough that any crew member that hadn't picked up on the tension definitely knew now*

Luffy: *Pictures Law at a typewriter angrily slamming down  on the keys, furiously rewriting the scene*

Zoro: *an interesting shade of red* Wh-what are you talking about! And keep your voice down!

Luffy: Well, usually I help you remember your lines, because you're terrible at it.

Zoro: I am not! They just change too much that's all!

Luffy: But what if I couldn't help with the kissing scene because.... Hmm.... Because I was busy helping Ace!

Zoro: *Sweatdrop* I'm not sure that sounds right.... You should probably just say you don’t want to.

Luffy: So you'd have to ask Torao!

Zoro: Why would I--!! And besides *Shakes script in Luffy’s face* the kissing scene is gone. *So fucking relieved* 

Luffy: Oh, right.... Oh,  I know! I’ll bet Shanks would put it back in if we asked!

Zoro: No!

Luffy: But then you'd have a reason to kiss Torao! Though I guess you’d have to practice where everyone could watch, but we practice out on set all the time so just so that. And you wouldn't have to punch anybody!

Zoro: ...... I'd still want to punch Cavendish.

Luffy: Hmm… Well, maybe you could kiss Torao then punch Cavendish.

Zoro: *Doesn't reply, because this seems like a pretty good deal*

There's one time Luffy convinced Law to give in and try on the Sora costume. Bon Clay adores Luffy so it's not at all difficult to talk him into letting the two of them borrow it. Admittedly, Law feels a little ridiculous about how excited Luffy gets over playing dress up, but also.... He /does/ kinda want to try it on. Just to see. Still, he's determined to be seen as professional and not like a total fanboy at work so he makes Luffy swear not to tell a soul and promises himself he'll only try it on for a minute.

So naturally the second he's done up, Luffy runs off to get Zoro so he can see how cool Torao looks as Sora. Zoro gets pulled out of his trailer half dressed in his own costume - he's used to Luffy grabbing him and dragging him places with no explanation - only to be shoved into a small dressing room with a very flushed, embarrassed looking Law all dressed up like his childhood hero.

Luffy has to prompt him to tell Torao how badass he looks, seeing as Zoro is just /staring/ at Law. Not even at the costume, just at Law. That's wrong and boring as far as Luffy's concerned so he finally jumps in telling Zoro what to say. Which Zoro still managed to screw up by replying to, "Doesn't Torao look totally cool as Sora?" With, "Mmm, so cute." Before realizing, shit, said that outloud

Fellow writer Robin just happens to peek into the room while looking for Law in that moment and catches Zoro stuttering a correction while Law goes from embarrassed to full on smug, leaning closer to Zoro and flirtatiously asking "But what do you think of the costume?" enjoying the way Zoro's skin goes all flushed.

Robin decides she doesn't need Law that much at the moment, but she does secretly snap a photo on her phone. She's a total Daichi/Sora shipper. She has a secret account online where she writes fanfic of the two. She somehow managed to get a picture of Ace and Zoro in full costumes making out that no one can explain.

She watches the two of them for a moment before quietly backing out, smiling the whole time. She has so many plans for these two now.

I feel like Zoro would not care about awards at all, but notices that Law gets a bit more bitchy when award season comes around. Which means it does matter to him (even though he hasn't cared about them with past projects, the Sora show is very important to him. He just wants to see it get the recognition it deserves). So when there is a surprise upset and Zoro ends up winning Best Supporting Actor In A Drama Series, he doesn't even give a real speech but whatever. But when they end up landing Best Drama Series and all his co-workers erupt in excitement, Zoro can't help getting caught up in Law's barely hidden gleefulness and without thinking grabs him, pulling him in for a kiss.

Not even like a /good/ kiss. Less "I'm going to absolutely devour you", more "I'm so happy for you" mixed with a touch of, "God you're so cute when you get all over excited you dork". He has to lean down two rows, over Luffy's head, to grab Law by the back of his jacket just to pull him in for a quick, sloppy kiss. But it still managed to shock the fuck out of Law. He's so used to being the one to flirt with/tease an embarrassed Zoro that the kiss is more surprising than the win.

Luffy totally gives him a thumbs up of approval and well done high five that Law does not remember at all. Luckily for him, he accepts the award alongside Mihawk, Shanks, Hiyori, Jinbe and Benn so he isn't actually expected to speak at all. Which is a good thing, because even by the time backstage interviews start he's still a little lost. Not helped by reports straight up asking him about the kiss.

Thank God Shanks can talk about anything for forever. Benn mercifully removes Law from in front of cameras and let's Shanks dazzle/annoy them with another "When RedHawk Productions was just starting out....." story that he has an endless supply of

Corazon - the show runner from the first show Law ever worked on, who took Law under his wing - finds Law almost immediately and pulls him into a hug. Law finally starts to shake out if it and thanks Corazon for his support and believing him, congratulating him on the success of his miniseries Dressrosa, etc.

Corazon is immediately in there with, "Why didn't you tell me? Who is that boy? I mean I know who the boy is. Why didn't you tell me you were dating Roronoa Zoro!? Oh my God, is what they said about him and those two actresses true!? Is he going to do that to you? How could you not tell me!"

@randommouseclick

Law: Boa's trying to get into Mugiwara-ya's shorts, Perona's along for kicks and Zoro's a fucking himbo who's interested in neither.

Law: Do you REALLY think I'd let him get away with that shit, if it WAS true?

@gildedmuse

Corazon just WORRIES. Law is so innocent in certain ways. Cora doesn't want him to be taken advantage of.

Anyone Who Has Ever Met Law: Umm......

Corazon, Prior To Meeting Zoro: Anyway, *lights a cigarette while calm and collected* I'll speak with him first to make certain. No point getting attached to a bad element.

Corazon, Upon Meeting Zoro: Oh my God! *Pulls Zoro into a hug, tears streaming down eyes* Thank you so much for loving Law! I'm sure you two will be happy together for the rest of your lives.

Corazon making some poor camera man take pictures of the two of them like it's fucking prom.

Nami is Zoro's agent. Switching from representing a Stunt Coordinator/Performer to an actor with a starring role in what eventually turns out to be a hugely popular series had not been in her plans. On the one hand, her cut just went from 6 to 10 percent, and on top of his general pay raise that makes for a rather good take away. On the other hand, her job just got way more complicated. Stunt guys rarely have whole sections of the internet dedicated to them. They certainly don't end up with their picture in the trades alongside names like Boa Hancock. She's definitely had to earn that additional 4%.

Her main goal is to convince Zoro to keep taking similar (paying) roles while keeping him as far from the press as possible. Because every time you put this boy in front of a camera without a script it's a goddamn disaster. If he somehow managed not to piss off the media establishment due to him not giving a fuck then his fans - when the hell did Zoro get fans? She took this kid on as a favor! It was supposed to be easy - are probably throwing an absolute fit.

When this phenomena first starts happening with Hancock she calls up in a panic. WHY is Zoro always being photographed around her? Please don't say he's trying to hit on Boa Fucking Hancock. Do you know how fast that woman could sink his career? Possibly even Nami's!? That's how powerful this woman is and for god's sake won't Zoro just stay away. The press is having a goddamn field day wondering what their relationship is and Nami is shocked Hancock's personal security hasn't escorted him off the set of his own TV show.

By the time he kisses Law, Nami has learned to just roll with the punches. She's watching the ceremony live. Less than thirty seconds after it happens her phone blows up. This time it's the fans who are wondering who this mysterious sexy stranger is (a question that is answered literally less than a minute later when the show introduce who will be accepting the award, but that doesn't stop the topic from somehow trending), freaking out about Zoro maybe being gay, and theorizing about Hancock and Perona helping him stay in the closet by manufacturing all that drama. This is almost three years since he was hired for the show so by now Nami just shoots him a text like, "You're probably going to be asked about kissing that man since you did it on camera in the middle of the award show".

She is a little afraid when she gets the reply "laws realt cute when hes all happy huhh??" But only because it means Zoro's drunk. She's never actually seen Zoro drunk. She's not sure how much alcohol it would have taken. But she just texts her friend Robin to let her know if Zoro dies of alcohol poisoning and then heads into bed. That's how chill she's gotten over the last three years (also it's 12% now that he's won an award).

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 21

"What do you have there?"

"A knife!"

"NO-"

That's probably all I can say about this one lmao

Kyo's still thinking back to when he met Kyoko, and how he felt about her as a kid. It was strange to him, in a way, but very welcoming, because unlike the majority of people around him, she treated him like a spunky kiddo(that's what she called him because he never told her his name) who seemed to have a hard life, but still seemed nice. In other words, Kyoko treated him kindly, something that Kyo had only experienced with Kazuma, which is extremely heartbreaking, oh my god.

But that only made what happened later hurt that much more, when she died. He heard her say that she won't forgive him, and those words have stuck with him to this day. After Kyoko's death, Kazuma took Kyo to the mountains, "to train". There wasn't much training, honestly, because Kyo was thrown into the depths of just,, self-hatred, mourning, regret, all of it. The only way he could get out of it was to place blame elsewhere, and that elsewhere was Yuki. It was easy, to be expected, almost encouraged in a way. It's not even that Yuki did anything in particular (I doubt they were even around each other enough for Yuki to actually do anything to Kyo), it's just that it was easier. And that helped Kyo enough that Kazuma let him return back home, which is around the time that Tohru showed up at Shigure's house, and the start of the series. When Kyo first saw Tohru, he couldn't believe it. He just wasn't allowed to forget what had happened, was he? It was interesting, in a way, to finally meet the girl that Kyoko was always talking about, to finally hear her voice rather than a picture, anecdotes, and a lonesome dinner. But it also hurt. In the end, he says he won't forgive himself, and he doesn't expect Tohru to forgive him either, for holding all of this back.

Tohru doesn't like that though, only having those two options: to forgive or not. It's really not that simple. She doubts that her mom meant that, "I won't forgive you", because she wasn't that kind of person, and even if she did mean it, Tohru's going against it, because her love for Kyo overpowers her love for her mom. She screams at him that she loves him, regardless of all of that. It doesn't matter dude! He can't believe it though, and he runs off, with Yuki, who overheard a portion of all of this, chasing after Kyo, with the spirit of "jfc you fucking moron get back here".

Oh remember Akito? And how she was thinking about Tohru? And how she has a knife? Well, she just entered the chat. 🔪🔪

She enters the chat by vaguely saying that the curse is breaking, to Tohru, who at the moment is partially occupied with thinking how fucking miserable Kyo looked before he ran off, but now Akito's here. (That sounds bad, like a "now Tohru has to deal with Akito 🙄" thing, that's not really what I mean. Tohru's just going through a few things at the moment) She asks Tohru if she's happy now, now that Akito has became the outsider, the loner, the bad guy, after waltzing into her life (and the lives of the Sohmas) and completely disrupting it, without a speck of dirt on her hands. Tohru's putting two and two together and steps toward Akito, asking if she was there the whole time (at this point Tohru did not know Akito had a knife), and oh jeez Akito just slashed at Tohru. Despite Akito yelling at Tohru to stay back, Tohru starts thinking of things through Akito's lens, how this whole time, Akito must have been so lonely. She was marveled for being God, but because of that (and her lashing out but hush), no one ever wanted to be around her. She was told that she was above everyone else, and she treated them as such, and they did the same back to her.

Tohru mentioned how Akito always spoke of permanence, because it was the only thing that Akito ever had to hold onto. Akito lashes out at that (i don't think she cut Tohru, but Tohru does end up having two cuts, so i think this was the second, both times they were just on her arms), saying that Tohru doesn't know what she's talking about, she won't fall for Tohru's crap! She can't be won over by nice little words like everyone else (are you sure about that dude). Tohru doesn't really deny it, she agrees that she is dirty, and bad. She wished for her own permanence, to forever be with her mom, but that didn't and couldn't happen. She says that realizing this is very lonely, realizing that you can't make anything stay, you can't grab onto it with all your might and beg for it to stay, it will move on in its own time. This ends up further upsetting Akito, thinking back to Akira and what he said to her as a child. She screams that she doesn't want to be left behind, alone in this huge world of strangers who don't know or care about about, or need her. She's terrified, and she says there's no saying that someone could ever love her, she'll be all alone when the curse breaks. Tohru then offers to be her friend. (Honestly this scene is kinda heartbreaking for me, seeing Tohru all scuffed up with tears in her eyes, offering to be Akito's friend. This girl does so fucking much all the time, regardless of the fact that she just heard that the boy she loves was involved in some way to her mother's death, her personal crisis of Kyo becoming more important to her than Kyoko, and now she's cut up and bloody, probably soaked through by the rain, trying to console a thoroughly upset Akito, like,, jfc Tohru)

Akito smacks Tohru's outstretched hand, saying she's mocking her, that when Akito starts to get upset, she'll get irritated, when Akito complains, she'll get mad, she'll hate Akito, she'll abandon her, but Tohru just puts out a hand, offering to be Akito's friend regardless. And once Akito realizes that Tohru would totally be there for her if she needed Tohru, Tohru literally falls off a cliff. Kinda. Do you remember back in the beginning of the series when Shigure mentioned that the ground is kinda unstable, and that's why there was a landslide? This is the same kind of thing, the ground crumbled underneath Tohru, and she fell. The first time I read that scene, I wasn't entirely sure if it was a metaphorical thing or not. It was not.

After Tohru fell, Akito just started screaming (fair enough, honestly), screaming for someone to come help, anyone! Shigure and Yuki come (and off in the undisclosed distance, Kyo also hears the cries), and Shigure actually asks Akito if she pushed Tohru off. Akito manages to explain what happens, and Yuki calls an ambulance. Shigure takes Akito back to the house, and a little bit later Kyo comes back to the house, and overhears Shigure explaining things to Hatori over the phone, and fuckin bolts over to where Tohru is. She's unconscious, scuffed, with cuts and blood on her, and holy shit, remember that one dream Kyo had a while back? Yeah, well, this looks wayyy too close for comfort to that dream, and Kyo's pretty freaked out. Distantly, Tohru can hear him crying, and she's just like, "Don't cry, it'll be okay, there's no reason to cry." She thought about how she worried that her love for Kyo ended up hurting him, and she was sorry for that, but she couldn't help it. It's revealed that Tohru fell in love with Kyo around the time of the Dark Form/True Form thing was going down, I think when Kazuma first showed up. She wishes for Kyo to be able to live a full life, even if it's hard, even if they aren't together. (Very emotional stuff, really.)

The next day, Yuki sees Tohru's grandfather at the hospital (who is visiting Tohru as well), and he asks about "that orange-headed boy", and Yuki says he was just an idiot that has bad timing, and he made Tohru cry. He can make her happy better than anyone, and he did that. He stopped himself short, but Tohru's grandfather was like, "About that," and presumably told Yuki to fucking brawl with Kyo, because that's exactly what he did after hearing from Haru that Kyo didn't try to see to Tohru. Before the fists went flying, Yuki asked Kyo about it, and Kyo said it was for the better, that all he'd do was hurt Tohru further. He couldn't protect Tohru when she needed it, he didn't want to do further harm.

Now the scene has shifted to the hospital, with two people being stuck in bed: Tohru and Kureno. Kyo tries to see Tohru, to apologize, to talk, something, but Hanajima and Uotani are not having it. Hanajima points out that apologizing wouldn't even mean anything, because Tohru doesn't blame Kyo for anything that happened. Hanajima says that there's other things that Kyo needs to do before he can see Tohru. Certain Things, and honestly I'm not sure if she was just bullshitting and using her ominousness to her advantage or if she actually knew something, but Kyo agreed (internally, anyway): there was something he had to do before seeing Tohru again.

Yuki might as well have said that was complete and utter bullshit, who does Kyo fuckin think he is? A goddamn superhero, able to fly in the second Tohru's in trouble? Doesn't he see the way Tohru acts around him? The way she smiles whenever he's near? Kyo's shocked by that, but he doesn't like the way Yuki said it, so he asked why couldn't Yuki do it (this is actually out of order but shh), he's already so perfect and shit. Basically, he's finally saying that he has always envied Yuki, because it just seemed like he got everything that Kyo wanted, especially when they were kids. Through the flying kicks and punches, Yuki says the same thing, but in the end, he can only be himself, same thing for Kyo. Neither of them (or anyone else) can be anything other than themselves, and sometimes there are things that only one person can do. In this case, only Kyo can kinda,, make her happy, I guess. I think that was the implication, which is nice. Kyo then goes off to see Tohru at the hospital, but the visiting hours are over, but y'know it's the thought that counts, right?

(Meanwhile) (btw how many times do these kinda things wreck Shigure's house like can they not take these things outside or something)

On the part of Uotani and Hanajima (and really everyone else who is visiting Tohru at this time), there's another level to keeping Kyo out: it's that everyone kinda knows that Tohru might be a little messed up if she did see Kyo again so soon after that whole shpeal that happened before Akito showed up. Tohru had a bomb dropped on her, and then she helped Akito calm down, and then she fell off a cliff; she didn't have any time to process the things that Kyo told her, especially that last line of his, the whole, "I'm disillusioned" thing, which all the significance that I personally can find within it is that he said that he wouldn't be disillusioned when Tohru was telling him about her father, but there really seems to be a bigger thing here that I'm not getting, idk. Anyway, there's that whole mess as well. Besides from that, there also seems to be this idea, I guess, that once Tohru is around Kyo again, they won't really be apart, so this is kinda like the last few moments with just Tohru? Or something? Hanajima and Uotani were talking about how Kyo's gonna "steal Tohru away", and seeing as Tohru is their close friend, I suppose it makes sense, from a selfish perspective (but not in a bad way), that they would want to "have" Tohru as long as they could.

Meanwhile (y'know that 60s Batman scene transition thing? That's always what I imagine when I write that, with the music included. Imagine how annoying it'd be if I put in a gif of it every time), Akito is having a Struggle Moment. She's at the hospital, and holy fuck is she guilty about stabbing Kureno, which is nice she totally should be it'd be really concerning if she wasn't, and Momiji pops up and asks if Akito came to see Kureno or Tohru (oof that guilt it's now been doubled), and Akito bursts out with confusion: why doesn't Kureno blame her?! He could've (should've-- wait what) blamed her, gotten angry, something?? Momiji says that it's because Kureno and Tohru (because Akito also visits Tohru) are that kind of stupid: they just don't blame people for things, they're always allowing for forgiveness. So why question it, why not just accept that Kureno isn't angry at her, isn't blaming her, just accept the kindness.

Akito thinks back on when she visited Kureno, and he asked her if she was okay. She thinks that if she had said she wasn't, that Kureno would have gone back to her side, and stayed with her, despite what she had done to him. He would stay with her until she no longer needed him, because he just has that kind of unselfish kindness. This kindness, in retrospect, doesn't make Akito feel much better though, as she thinks (realizes?) that she's basically been killing him, this whole time (before the stabbing, of course). No apology could fix this, no matter what Kureno would say, Akito wouldn't ever stop feeling bad for what she had said and done, not to him but to the other Juunishi as well (I suppose the Sohma family as a whole, honestly). Momiji just says that Akito has to take care of Kureno from now on, and to make sure that she doesn't do something like this again. Then he tells Akito a story (i don't get to hear it and that makes me quite sad ngl) and later Akito visits Tohru. But that'll be talked about later. Now we're talking about

(60s Batman transition sound) Yuki! And the other people in the student council. Kakeru mentions how the school is abuzz with what happened to Tohru, and how rumor has it that Kyo's the one who got her in the hospital. (Yuki doesn't really deny that, btw) Unsurprisingly, it's not really something that he has talked about, seeing as it's not very casual conversation, and it is a bit of a downer, but he realizes that he's not too upset by it. (By that I mean the overall recent series of events, not solely Tohru's accident) I guess violence is the answer, sometimes.

Kimi then asks what Yuki's relationship with Tohru even is, and Kakeru, unfiltered as usual, just drops, "She's like his mom, in his mind" as if that wasn't something that Yuki was struggling with for a long time??? Whatever dude, but one day Yuki'll probably have his revenge. At any rate, there were a lot of shots to Machi doing her thing, so if it wasn't already clear from the story so far, Yuki likes Machi. If you hadn't picked that up, it's a whole thing.

Anyway, later on Yuki and Kakeru are looking for get-well gifts for Tohru, and Kakeru just straight up says, "If I don't know what to give to someone, I'll just choose something I like, so that if they don't like it, I can take it, and I'll like it," which, as it turns out, Machi does the same thing. (That comes later but it's the not most important thing so shh) After getting a gift, Kakeru says that he's going to visit Tohru, but he insists on doing it alone, and so Yuki wanders off, walking down the street (he's makin his way downtown, walkin fast, faces pass), and he thinks about how, when he was in big crowds, he used to wonder, if he disappeared, would anyone really notice? Now though, that's not really a worry. He knows that there is at least one person who would notice, who would be worried if he disappeared. And holy shmow, he just found the perfect gift for her! He calls up Machi, and they meet up at a train station, I think, I'm pretty sure it's a train station idk I've never been in one, and it turns out that she got a gift for him as well. (It's fertilizer, remember back to that scene, with the,, yeah. Ok.)

The gift is a big Mogeta doll (probably like a stuffed animal), like the one that Ayame had in his shop, except he had the gall to write on it? Machi said that it was a limited exclusive item, but Yuki managed to find it (for a fair price too, apparently), and she really likes it. She says she'd like to thank Tohru for what she's done to help Yuki become who he is presently, that she's really glad that she was able to meet Yuki, because without him, she definitely wouldn't be the person she is today. It was some super soft stuff, there were plenty of "aw"s when I read that whole interaction. They're so fucking cute, it's great.

Anyway, other than Kakeru asking Hatori what he ate to look that handsome (which is something I still can't get over), there wasn't much else to the book, so I'll finally end this (I took several days in between writing this it's inexcusable). Yay ✨✨

[orange-waterfalls]

Then Leave

Yancy x gender neutral!reader

@spycii ty for the prompt!

A/N: holy shit this took so long lol. I suck at writing angst unless it's with my own characters,,, this is so very bad I'm sorry,,, also Yancy has anger issues apparently. Rated T for some cursing. Angst(?) w/fluff at the end. I'm sorry I can't write straight angst it's too much for me.

Word Count: 2k

---

Yancy was elated when you decided to stay with him. He'd been pretty interested in you since you showed up, and didn't want you going and breaking out. When you told him you were staying, he was happier than he had any right to be. Yes! He got to spend more time with yous! That's amazing!

The first few weeks were great. You two loved talking and hanging out. Yancy could sense the others were a bit jealous of you, but he really didn't care much. You were all he really needed. After about two months, he noticed you distancing yourself. You were keeping a space between you and him when you hung out, and not talking as much. Half a year had passed and you just stopped. You stopped talking, stopped actively hanging out with him, stopped acknowledging him. He was disappointed, to say the least. The other inmates started to be around him more, but he didn't pay any attention to them. He thought of different ways to get you back. He convinced one of the cooks to bake you a cake for your birthday. You seemed to appreciate the effort and started talking to him again. You talked to him about how you missed your family, and Yancy tried to convince you to not care about it.

"C'mon, yous has a new family! We're your family!" He consoled. "Yous needs to leave the past in the past." You smiled at him appreciatively. He loved it when you smiled. So when you stopped smiling altogether, he got worried. He told you about his worries, and you told him you were fine. He didn't believe you. To sell the fact that you were fine, you forced yourself to smile more often. He'd tell you a joke to make you feel better, and you'd smile at him. But he could tell it wasn't a real smile. It was a smile to make him feel better.

It didn't, really.

But he pretended like it did so you didn't have to worry.

You two would always meet out in the yard at the same time every day, but one day, you hadn't shown up. Yancy waited in you guys' spot for half an hour before thinking to look somewhere else. He started to go back inside when Bambam stopped him.

"Hi, Yancy!" He greeted happily. "How've you been?" Yancy smiled at him, slightly aggravated, not wanting to show it.

"Hey, Bambam. I've been alright," he answered. Bambam looked around.

"So, where's the new family member?" he asked. The fact that Bambam was stopping him from finding exactly who he was talking about angered Yancy. He knew you wouldn't want him to snap at his family, so he kept it to himself.

"That's what I was hoping to find out. They's been… upset lately…" he explained. Bambam frowned.

"Oh. What do you think the problem is?" He asked worried.

"I'm not sure…" Yancy sighed, "they's… talked about missing their family…" Bambam scratched his neck.

"You know, Yancy, they seemed pretty attached to their family… maybe it'd be better for them if they left…" he suggested. Yancy clenched his fists.

"No, it wouldn't. They like it here. They don't want to leave," he growled. Bambam stepped back at his violent tone, and Yancy walked past him and into the prison.

He wandered the halls, looking for you. You weren't in any of the places you two hung out. Finally, he checked your cell, where you've said you don't like going. You were there on the bed, curled up on your side in a fetal position. He sighed in relief and opened the door. You flinched as you heard the door creak. He walks into the cell quietly.

"There yous is! I was starting to get worried you'd taken parole." He joked. You didn't respond or even acknowledge he'd walked in. He stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do. Eventually he sighed.

"Ok, can yous just… tell me what's wrong? I've been worried about yous and… I'm not sure what to do about it… tell me?" You don't respond. "Please?" You sighed.

"I miss Mark." You said bluntly. Yancy stood there, not really knowing how to respond.

"Mark? Didn't he… you know… die? Or did he just… take parole? There's really nothing I can-"

"I miss Mark, I miss my friends, I miss my family…" you said, voice wavering. Yancy knits his eyebrows, not understanding what you want.

"So? I don't know what you want to-"

"I want to leave, Yancy." You finally turned to look at him and he saw your red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He frowned at you.

"Leave? But… you decided to stay!" He started to get angry. "Why would you want to leave?!" You stood up.

"Because I miss the people in my life Yancy!" You raised your voice at him.

"Then why did you stay?! Why haven't you broken out or taken parole or… or…" he was cut off by you.

"Because I'm in love with you, you fucking moron!" You yelled. He steps back at your accusing tone. In love… with him? That made him happy, but the tears flowing from your eyes destroyed that feeling and replaced it with guilt. "You love it here. You love your family. And I love you and I want you to be happy. So I stayed." You explain. "I had a family! I had people who loved me and now they don't even visit me! I am not happy! I haven't been happy in awhile! I want to leave!" Yancy stopped thinking clearly and blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Then leave! Just fucking go, then!" He said, his voice venomous. You stare at him and compose yourself.

"Maybe I will."

And you did.

You broke out of the prison after two days. All the inmates were happy that you'd be with your people again, but they saw something was different with Yancy. He was more distant. More angry. He snapped at them a lot and made rude comments. Tiny decided that she was going to confront him about it. He had no right to do this to them. She was gonna march into his cell and give him a piece of her mind. That's what she'd do.

She walked into his cell and…

He was there. On his bed. Sobbing into his hands. She could see the tears seeping through his fingers.

And all her plans were flung out the window.

She tiptoed over and gently sat next to him. He flinched before turning away, wiping his face.

"What do you want?" He asked, attempting to sound tough. He just sounded sad. Tiny put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her, looking at her hand weirdly. She sighed.

"What's the problem, Yancy?" She asked gently. He tried to glare at her, but his lip started quivering and he let out a sob, burying his face into his hands again. Tiny patted his back in an attempt to make him feel better.

"I miss them… I miss them so much…" he cried. Tiny frowned and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yancy..." She began. She was going to try to convince him to get over you. But before she could, he just went on rambling on and on about everything he loved and missed about you. Your skin, your eyes, your smile…

She could tell this wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Yancy…" She sighed. "You need to make parole." Yancy looked up at her.

"W-What?"

"You need to be good. You need to not be seen as a threat anymore. You need to leave."

"But-"

"You love them. There's nothing you can do about that, except be with them."

"Tiny… I've done-"

"Yeah, yeah, bad things. You killed people. Yancy, I'll be honest, none of us really care about that. You're the only one. We think you deserve to be happy, and if being with them is how that's gonna happen, then so be it," She explained. Yancy was about to argue, but he thought about your face when he told you to leave, and he closed his mouth.

"Ok…"

He turned into the perfect prisoner. He did everything he was told, he didn't speak out of line, he worked as a cook in the cafeteria, he got rid of his shank. He eventually made parole. That was great, but he wasn't exactly sure where to go from there. How was he supposed to find you? He was on his way out when he saw the guy you came in with. What was his name… Mark? You had mentioned that you were roommates, so he figured this was his best chance. Yancy walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned towards him, startled.

"Uh… hi? Can I help you?" He asked.

"Where do you live?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry… I'm Yancy. I want to find your friend and… I figure… you would know where they live… since you live together…" he explained awkwardly. Mark stared at him for a moment.

"Why do you want to find them?" He asked, suspicious. Yancy blushed a bit and scratched his neck. Mark rolled his eyes before taking a piece of paper and writing an address on it. He handed Yancy the piece of paper.

"Knock when you get there." He explained. "You don't look like a serial killer… this may be a bad idea but… I suppose I can trust Y/N to take care of themselves. Besides, this year's already been weird as hell... I'm sure it'll be fine." Yancy nodded and thanked him. He asked his parole officer to take him to the address. On the ride there, he bounced his leg, anxious for what you'd say. Would you forgive him? Would you still be mad? Would you hate him? He'd deserve it…

"Here." The officer said as they parked near a house. Yancy nodded and got out of the car, approaching the house. He stopped at the door and raised his fist to knock. He stopped, suddenly realizing that he'd rather not have you tell him he wasn't worth a visit every three weeks. He slowly lowered his arm to his side and sighed. He turned back towards the cop car and-

click

"Yancy?"

creak

Yancy spun back around to look at the door, where you were standing. You looked… better than in the prison. Less tired. Less sad.

"Hey! How's it going?" He asked nervously. You weren't smiling, you weren't asking a bunch of questions about him, you didn't seem very interested in him or what he was doing there. That made him nervous. He shifted in his spot. You both were silent for a moment. You crossed your arms and took a breath.

"I thought… I thought you liked prison, Yance." He smiled at the nickname.

"Oh, uh… I…" he swallowed, his throat dry. "I-I like yous a little more than I do prison…" you stared at him. He shuffled his feet. You sighed.

"Yancy…"

"Ok, look. I know I messed up. I know. But I want to make it right, and I want to be with yous." You raised an eyebrow.

"Be with me… as in…?"

"Dating. Yes." He said quickly. You tap your arm.

"Yancy… I don't…" you start. He can feel his heart shattering already. "You're the one who told me to leave the past in the past… that's what I was doing with the prison." You explained.

"Well… maybe… since I'm in yous' present… I can be part of your future!"

"What?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Yancy…" you started. He looked at you hopefully. You sighed. "I'll… think about it."

"Oh… right, sure…"

"You have a place to stay, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good."

"Ok, good."

"Yeah… well…bye" he turned back towards the police car and started walking. You stood at the doorway, watching him. You bit your lip before taking a breath.

"Yancy!" You called. He spun back towards you. You grin slightly. "Let's get coffee sometime." His eyes widened.

"O-Okay! Sure!" He agreed. You closed your door. He got back into the police car, smiling widely.

"So…" the officer started. Yancy turned to him.

"Hm?"

"That was the most Hallmark thing I've ever seen…"

"Shut up…"

"Seriously! That looked so cliche!"

"SHUT. UP."

"I thought I was about to hear some romantic violin,"

"Please just drive…"

GOD this SUCKS I'm so sorry