#this is enough for this week See you next saturday everybody!

[catdevice]

[magewritesstories]

I’m not sure if you write for this version of this character in particular but I saw you did an incorrect quote for Harry Osborn, and I was wondering if you could do tasm 2 version Harry Osborn headcanons like a dating him includes?

Harry Osborn // Dating Headcanons

Note: ofc, ofc I would love to share some hc's (btw AU where he doesn't have the Goblin Disease) TW: mentions of fighting, possessiveness (but not in the Wattpad mafia way y'know)

okay so for starters, buckle up for enemies to lovers office romance

but it's one-sided; you dislike him, 'cause y'know he's kinda an asshole, but he just likes teasing you and doesn't actually mean anything he says

after a very drunk confrontation at an office party, you tell him you think he's an absolute asshole, and how much you hate working for him

after a while it just devolves to stupid things you dislike, like the way you hate that he drinks black coffee or that he has to have take-out all the time, or that he just randomly cancels meetings for no apparent reasons

the next day, you just find a box of chocolates on your desk

after that it's a little more smooth sailing

after a few months— which is enough time for harry to fully mourn the death of his dad— things start getting better

he's fully taken over as CEO of oscorp and proven to everybody, that despite the fact that he's young, he's still a good businessman

i imagine it's been a year, and now that you're both fully adjusted to the job, things start getting a little more spicy

at first you don't even notice the change; he puts down a cup of coffee— you're favourite order— on your desk when he arrives at the office, or he asks you to join him in eating take-out when you two are the only ones left in the office after a long day

then it escalates, you complain about the old coffee machines, and he has them replaced, or you offhandedly mention the fact that one of the lifts is always out of order, and the next day you see some poor mechanics who've been working at it all night walk past you, complaining about how much of hardass the "baby osborn" is

your friend is the one that mentions it first; "hey, weren't you complaining about those yesterday?"

at first you just shrug it off, he was being a good boss, so what?

but after a while, it gets into your head anyway

i mean, there are only so many sentences with a flirty undertone a girl can take

so, being you, you decide to outright ask him

"are you flirting with me?"

"i have been for the past three months, but thanks for noticing."

after that he just gives you one of those typical harry osborn smirks and walks off, hands in his pockets 'n everything

Once you guys actually start dating though, he's a total sweetheart

His love languages are most definitely gift giving (giving) and physical touch (receiving)

Speaking of, you bet you're closet goes from being worth 200$ to being worth 8000$ within weeks

It starts off as small things, a cup of coffee on him, or some dinner in the office, just the two of you

But it escalates quickly

By the time you're three month anniversary rolls around, he's bought you just about the entire Jimmy Choo collection, and your amazon wishlist

He remembers everything you tell him, from the fact that you love a certain colour or dislike a certain food, he'll definitely remember

When you tell him you feel bad about the amount of money he spends on you, he just shrugs it off

besides you can pay him back by wearing that Victoria's Secret gift he got you a few weeks ago

Princess treatment all the way

The entire thing, holds your bags, opens the door, has his card out and has paid before you even reach for your wallet

Just loves spoiling you

Dates are usually one of two things:

One: Super extravagant, oh there's this cool restaurant in LA you want to check out when you go there? He has two tickets booked, and he's written it in his agenda for next saturday

Two: Super chill weekend in. The two of you just relax, watch some movies, have breakfast in bed, maybe even some pillow forts if he's feeling fancy, and of course, pillow fights that somehow always end up in make-out sessions

Extremely touch-starved, so will have his hands on you all the time

And he isn't even ashamed about it

Like, y'all will be at dinner, and he'll casually put an arm around your shoulder and pull you closer to him, to the point that you're almost in his lap

"Harry, we're in public!"

"So?"

"People are staring!"

"I reiterate: So?"

Just a sweetheart in general, he loves you and he isn't ashamed of it at all

But of course, there are some downsides too

For starters, he's very unaware of just how privileged he is

He doesn't do it on purpose though, he really doesn't mean to seem like an arrogant jerk. But it just shows

For example, this one time, there was a super sale at Costco, and you were super excited to tell him, and he just stared at you like, "What's the big deal??"

You'd think hanging out with Peter would make him realize that not everyone has the same chances and problems growing up

It gets annoying sometimes, like how he just shrugs off employees overworking themselves with a "So, if they're so stressed, just take a day off."

He's trying though

Secondly, he's extremely possessive, so he gets jealous super easily

For example, the two of you will be at one of his rich people gala's—as you very fondly call them— and this random guy will have a chat with you, normal conversation, but with an obvious flirty undertone

And he'll get very annoyed

"Why didn't you tell him you had a boyfriend?" *insert pout*

"Harry, we were talking about the stock market, where would I just casually add that piece of information?"

He's annoyed for the rest of the night, as well as the car ride home— in which you tell him he's being childish— but the moment you get home he just sighs and tells you he's sorry for overreacting

Those fights usually turn into long night conversations, with tea and blankets

He also has the habit of forgetting dates

This is usually when there's a big project presentation coming up and he's nervous

Usually you don't mind, after all, you've seen first hand how brutal the board can be

But sometimes it's just a little too much, and all the other little things that have been bothering the two of you blow up into one big fight

You're both very stubborn so it just turns into a waiting game of who'll give in first

If he's the one who gives in, he usually turns up at your door with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers and your favourite chocolates

Definitely the type to drive across the city to get you that one sweet, from that one shop you really like

If you're the one to give in, he'll just pout, and tell you he's still mad

He already gave in the moment you walked in though

He just likes to tease you, but after the third sorry he feels bad and tells you he's sorry for neglecting you too

He likes the idea of communication, and he's trying to get better at it

But when he can't find the words, he just defaults back to buying you stuff

That's how his dad always fixed stuff, so it's the only way he knows

But he tries, because it's you and you deserve nothing less than the best

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: October 14-20, 2024

Lunar Phases

Monday, October 14, 06:30 UT - Gibbous Moon, 6°24’ Pisces

The key phrases for the Gibbous lunar phase are “tweak and adjust plans as needed,” and “pour more energy and effort into our intentions.” It feels almost more intense than the Full Moon. Accept your own responsibility (but nobody else’s) without being defensive about it.

Thursday, October 17, 11:26 UT - Full Moon, 24°35’ Aries

The key phrases for the Full lunar phase are “culminate, fulfill, illumine, manifest;” and “pour all our energy and efforts into our intentions.” Might be an angry feeling of impending finality, as now Pluto/Capricorn is joining in. A Cardinal grand cross with an overall message “shit or get off the pot.”

Sunday, October 20, 17:21 UT - Disseminating Moon, 12°48’ Gemini

The key phrases for the Disseminating lunar phase are “teach, share, communicate;” and “ease up on efforts with our intentions.” We feel like talking - blabbing, more likely - and there’s a chance we’ll blurt out too much. (Or, conversely, not enough.) Vent, if you must, only to trusted partners.

Void of Course Moon

Tuesday, October 15, 20:00 UT (Pisces) - 20:34 UT (Aries)

Thursday, October 17, 19:26 UT (Aries) - 20:00 UT (Taurus)

Saturday, October 19, 19:33 UT (Taurus) - 20:07 UT (Gemini)

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Mars/Cancer

Retrograde: Jupiter/Gemini, Saturn/Pisces, Chiron/Aries, Uranus/Taurus, Neptune/Pisces, Eris/Aries

Post-retrograde shadow: Ceres/Capricorn

Ingress

Thursday, October 17, 19:28 UT - transiting Venus enters Sagittarius

This is going to be a very fruitful transit for romantic break-ups - there’s a lot of desire to explore, artistically and financially as well.

Et Cetera

There are two Opportunity Periods this week:

Tuesday, October 15, 06:38 UT - 20:34 UT. “Great for artistic activities, romance, or anything you want to see grow.”

Saturday, October 19, 14:11 UT - 20:07 UT. “Good weekend hours for either work or play; especially good for innovative artistic endeavors.”

NGL, it’s a really difficult week. Everybody is angry, and defensive, and projecting, and seemingly wallowing in negativity. (It’s especially bad in the US as Election Day draws near.) It’s important to find the space/time to calm ourselves down - meditate or pray - acknowledge our own culpabilities with creating whatever mess we find ourselves in - and swapping out or transforming negative behaviors into constructive ones. Scorpio season starts next Tuesday (October 22), and there will be our chance to process everything.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

two weeks of peak season down, thirteen to go! due to some fortuitously timed cancellations i actually did hit my dream of being a week ahead on prep work (well, at least on answer key making) on tuesday of this past week. it didn’t last long lol (partly due to i was being Insane which seems to have calmed down some knock on wood) but i’ve caught up some more and i’m pretty sure i should be able to get back to a week ahead tomorrow morning while catching up on industry.

this past week i worked about 35 hours, which does remain on the high end for me. i have also tutored every day since last sunday which is not my favorite although both my incredibly far friday night student (i’m talking bay ridge… back to queens that is a commute the length of a feature length movie…) & my saturday kid are taking this week off, which is a huge relief lol. meanwhile the content development side gig continues slowly wrapping up, which is the main reason i am still mostly ignoring everything outside of work i can ignore - i’m basically racing the other active developer for claiming the last few available sets, of which there are 6, although i am not racing very fast because i don’t actually have that much time to work on them and i also am trying not to push my brain into the burnout zone… last fall when i was really actively trying to get on more even financial footing i was very ungenerous about giving my brain time off and it led me to feeling very bad inside all the time for a long while! this year i feel like my goal is really just to get through the season without feeling bad. do what i need to do and not freak out about it, which also entails not putting pressure on myself about things i don’t need to do. perhaps next year my goal will be to do that and also stay in touch with my hobbies and bigger picture goals and such lol. but in the meantime i am being very relaxed with myself about if i want to just read people on reddit talking about john mulaney’s ex-wife’s book everybody hates or whatever, although this week i do want to finish the patrick radden keefe book about human smuggling in chinatown i have on ebook hold.

i played mario kart with some friends & acquaintances this week, i didn’t bail on opening free store even though i kinda wanted to. i have not updated my little habit tracker in A While but i worked out 5 times again this week & hit my step goal; i had to take an extra rest day yesterday due to silent migraine keeping me in sitting jail but today’s was a bodyweight routine so hopefully i can go straight into the one i was set to do tomorrow, since i do really like the friday/sunday rest schedule. i am very stressed about two of my kids’ score trajectories lol but the one whose mom made me do a phone call (why) to be like “yes i have seen students in his position improve no i can’t really promise more than that” just kicked ass on a practice test which was a relief. even though i am spending so much time Highlighting and Content Developing and Admin Doing (my least favorite work task that no one makes me do but me is updating their little homework google docs… but like so often i end a session being like well ok i will see if i can find a worksheet to link you on circle graphs….) i still am actively getting a kick out of my cozy fall routine where i can sleep late and do work in bed while drinking coffee until i’m awake enough to work out. my room is still very messy but it’s literally whatever. if this is the week things start feeling crazy it will only be 13 weeks of craziness which is quite survivable! but also i don’t think it will be (although, like, famous last words, so knock wood!).

[angelst4re]

ash I'm begging you to write some type of Jace angst, like where he regects the reader after she confesses, or maybe stands her up when they're supposed to go on a date or they go to the club and he's being all touchy with her because he's drunk and then the next morning he just doesn't remember and doesn't care too

just some kind of angst </33

eeeee i loved this idea!!!! and i just had to write it because jace <33

Last Night- Jace (Wayland? Herondale?) x Reader

summary: they say drunk words are sober thoughts, and jace has a lot to confess after a few drinks

warnings: none!! :) (unless alcohol counts!!)

notes: i don't know if i like this :( i had a few different ideas of how i could've written this and i wish i did it differently now... but i could always make up for it with a part 2...? ;)

Everybody knew Jace wasn’t one for relationships. He hated to show his vulnerable side and he would never see the same girl more than once. You were quite upset by this, as you had liked him for quite a while now. Every time you thought he was going to open up to you and let you in, he would turn cold again, shutting his feelings off. Although it did upset you, you understood why he acted like this, given his childhood. 

It was finally Saturday night, and you and Izzy were getting ready to go out. The two of you would go out to clubs together every week, it would usually end in her bringing a man back to her bedroom and you going to bed even earlier than you would do on any other night. But tonight, Alec and Jace had been asking about joining the both of you, and although Izzy was reluctant at first, she gave in, and the four of you headed to the club. 

Not long after getting in, Izzy had already found someone to kill time with, and Alec was pleasantly surprised to have bumped into Magnus, which left you and Jace by the bar, and he was already on his second drink. 

“Do you want another one?” Jace asked, pointing to your empty glass. 

“No, I shouldn't drink too much tonight. But I might have a coke?” 

Jace nodded, and he ordered another drink for himself too. You looked cautiously at him as he handed you yours, thanking him, before sighing and looking for Isabelle.

“Does this happen every time?” Jace asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Izzy finds somebody and leaves you by yourself?”

“Usually,” you answer, “or sometimes I’ll find someone too.” 

After months of heartache, you wondered if you could win Jace over by making him jealous. He’s used to girls falling at his feet for him, so you decided to test it out. 

“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, “well you’re stuck with me tonight.”

“But what if a cute girl comes up to you? Surely I wouldn’t be stuck with you all night.” 

Jace chuckled, waiting a moment before responding, as if he was hesitant to answer. 

“I’m afraid to break it to you, but I don’t think any girl in this world is cuter than you.” 

You were shocked by those words, but you tried not to take much notice of what he said as he was clearly drunk. 

“Jace, you’re drunk. You don’t mean that.” You said, a smile creeping onto your lips as you shook your head. 

“I do mean it,” he told you, “I’ve always thought you were the most gorgeous- the most beautiful-”

“Jace!” You interrupted him, “stop talking!” You chuckled, reaching for your drink. 

“I’m sorry I don’t tell you enough. I’m just worried about how you’d react, I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” He said, leaning towards you and brushing a piece of hair away from your face, before letting his hand rest on your waist, causing your heart to skip a beat. 

“Jace…” You mumble, not knowing what else to say, “then why have you always turned me down? Why do you-”

“Because you’re too good for me, and I know you know it.”

You’re truly lost for words, so you pull him in for a hug, which lasted longer than you would’ve thought. His touch, his smell, the beating of his heart, it was all so overwhelming, and you knew that tomorrow, when he was sober, he would forget everything he told you, and it would all go back to normal. 

“Jace, you’re drunk. I’m taking you home, okay? I’ll text Alec and Izzy when we get back but I think you need to go to bed before you do something you’ll regret.” 

“But we’ve only been here for like 20 minutes, just one more drink?”

“Jace, no. We’ve been here for an hour now and you clearly can’t handle your alcohol. We’re going back.” 

He gave in eventually, sighing as he took your hand and led you through the crowd of people and towards the exit. 

The walk back to the institute wasn’t long, but it felt like hours due to the awkward silence between the two of you. You wondered whether Jace has finally realised what he had said in the club, that he had begun to sober up, but as he spoke again, it was clear that he was still rather intoxicated. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course.” You replied, looking up from the ground to the gorgeous man beside you. 

“So I was wondering… because- I’ll be honest with you, I haven’t been feeling the best lately- I mean, mentally, everything at the institute has began to really-”

“Jace,” you gave him a sweet smile, an apology for interrupting him, “what do you want to ask me?” 

“I was going to ask if I could… maybe… sleep with you tonight? Wait no! No! I mean, stay with you, in your room. I just don’t want to be alone tonight, that’s why I went out with you, Izzy and Alec, I was hoping maybe I would find someone to take home with me.” 

You chuckled slightly as you approached the doors to the institute, looking at Jace with soft eyes. You had always felt empathetic towards Jace, Izzy had her brother (Alec), his friend Clary had her childhood best friend (Simon), and he had nobody, just like you. 

“Of course you can, Jace. Of course.”

When you got to your room, you did a quick bit of tidying whilst Jace changed in his room. By the time he had knocked on your door, you hoped your room looked okay, not that he would even take notice of it in the state he was in. 

You told Jace to make himself comfortable whilst you went to the bathroom, changed and washed your face. When you returned, Jace was sitting up in bed reading the book that you kept on your bedside table. 

“Do you like reading?” You asked as you sat beside him on your side of the bed. 

“Only if the book sounds interesting.” 

“Does that one sound interesting?” 

“Not really,” he answered truthfully, “I don’t quite get it.” 

You chuckled at this once more, and Jace put the book back down. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll explain it to you in the morning. I’m going to turn the light off now, try and get some sleep, okay.” 

“Yeah…” He mumbled sleepily, getting comfortable as you switched the lamp off, “goodnight, I love you.”

“Goodnight, Jace.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When you woke up the next morning, the bed was empty and cold. You had wondered whether you dreamt the whole thing, but when you saw your book wasn’t in its usual place you knew it had all actually happened. 

You got up and got yourself ready to go down for breakfast. When you got there, you noticed Jace was the only one in the kitchen, eating a slice of toast. 

“Good morning.” You smiled, reaching for a bowl as you were going to have cereal this morning. 

“Mrnng.” Jace grunted. 

“Hungover?” You laughed as he nodded his head, “god, Jace, do you remember what happened last night?” 

His eyes widened in fear as he shook his head. 

“No, but I woke up in your bed. We didn’t… do anything… did we?” 

“No, we didn’t have sex, Jace. But you did say you loved me, and told me I’m the most gorgeous, beautiful girl in the world, although that wasn’t exactly what you said, I shut you up before you could finish your sentence.” 

“Oh.” He said, clearly not bothered as he continued eating his toast. 

“Oh? Jace, is that all you have to say about that?” You were quite confused now, and also angry. You knew you shouldn’t have taken what he said seriously. 

“What do you want me to say?” 

“I want you to tell me whether you meant those things!” You raised your voice, feeling your eyes begin to well up with tears. 

“I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was saying.” He scoffed, putting his plate by the sink when he had finished. 

“Jace-” 

“Please, my head hurts, I don’t want to talk about this now, okay? Maybe later but not now. Sorry.”

[she-karev]

Intervention (Marina Angst with a Happy Ending Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Three

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Carina DeLuca, Andrew DeLuca and Maya Bishop

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 1

AN: Hey guys so Station 19 ended sadness but it’s up to us to keep the epic romance alive. I will post another Marina story next week and it’s gonna be funny and surprising. Stay tuned.

Mental Health Resources: https://www.nami.org/, https://www.aacap.org/, https://www.dbsalliance.org/, https://afsp.org/

Summary: Carina drives Andrew to the treatment center and along the way he expresses guilt and shame for how he treated everybody, most of all Amber. Carina returns home to Maya who comforts her.

Words: 3213

Carina drives down the road in her car about twenty minutes away from the residential facility in Bellevue. Andrew is next to her in the passenger side alarmingly calm even as he looks out the window in a foreboding way telling her there is an inner conflict going on. Carina looks at Andrew in pity before looking back at the road. She figures out what to say to make him feel better about the journey ahead.

“I know your scared but this is one of the best treatment centers in the state I checked.” Andrew is still looking out the window, “It’s 30 days to get you on the right meds, talk to therapists and monitor you. I will visit you every Saturday so I can see how you’re doing and tell you all that you are missing. I know it’s hard but you’ll get better and that’s the goal, that is what is going to separate you from papa. He is not strong enough to do this but you are, I know you are.”

Carina stops at a stoplight, looks over and sees Andrew rubbing his tired eyes, “I know your trying to help and I appreciate that I do and I am gonna do this I am I just…I can’t undo all that I did when I was being a stubborn idiot.” Carina sighs, “Opal got away with Erin because I made a scene, I was so far out of stability I didn’t do things rationally and calmly instead I looked like a crazy man and that girl ended up back in that monster’s clutches.”

“And she got free.” Carina reminds him to no avail as he shakes his head.

“What if she didn’t?” Andrew asks in a broken voice, “If she didn’t, she would have been tortured and raped for years and it would be because I was unstable and untrustworthy.”

“Andrea the Chief didn’t believe you and she allowed Opal to walk away because she didn’t consider the possibility that you were right.”

“You didn’t believe me either.” Andrew coldly reminds her, “Nobody did and honestly I do not blame them, if papa did that a year ago, I would have thought he was crazy too.”

Carina looks down the road sad for him, “You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Erin, if you do it’s just gonna hold you back and you won’t look forward. She’s safe and she’s with her family that is what’s important here, focus on that not on how you reacted while you were having a mental breakdown you didn’t ask for.”

“I ruined- no I single handedly destroyed the best relationship I ever had because I didn’t see what everybody else did.” Andrew sniffles as tears form around his eyes, “I did to her exactly what our father did to mama and I am never gonna forgive myself for that. She’s never gonna forgive me for doing this to her, for being another name in her list of crazy people that scarred her for life.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt her it was the mania that said and did all of those things not you.” Carina tells him from observation, “I’ve seen you with her for two years and those are two different people.”

“I told her she would end up like her father.�� Andrew tells her in a regretful tone, “She was trying to help me see there was something wrong and my response was telling her that without me around she would end up like her father. Her junkie father who abandoned her after beating her, I told her she would end up like that man she hates more than anyone. And after that I compared her to her schizo mom who neglected her before screaming at her to get out of my apartment because I didn’t need her or want her. God I am the cruelest person in the world, I did that to a woman who has had more than enough crazy and pain to last a lifetime. I did that and nothing you say is gonna make that okay so don’t try.” Andrew takes a deep breath rubbing his face before continuing in a tearful voice, “I love her so much, I miss her so much, why didn’t I listen to her before I destroyed her why?”

Carina sniffles and wipes a stray tear away knowing how much her brother loves Amber and sees that love again for the first time in months. She only wishes Amber was here to see it so she can see at least one person in her life feels bad for the pain their mental illness put her through.

“You listened now.” Carina tells him, “You’re doing the work and she will see that. When she sees your getting better for yourself and her, she will forgive you and take you back.”

“It’s too late, way too late.”

Carina shakes her head, “She loves you and she’s hurt but I think if she knows you feel bad for the way you treated her, she will-”

“What did she say when you asked her to come to the intervention?”

Carina pauses at that sudden question and tries to lie, “I didn’t ask her.”

Andrew chuckles bitterly, “You always were a terrible liar. Just tell me word for word so I know how bad I messed this up and how much I need to do to make up for it.”

Carina sighs and relents, “She said she didn’t want to be a sitting duck for your verbal abuse again and that she’s learned from her mom, brother and now you to walk away from a bazooka pointing at her.”

Andrew grins slightly at Amber’s feisty nature, “That’s my girl, taking hits and never pulling her punches.”

“She’s upset Andrea you need to give her time to cool down.”

“We could live for thousands of years and the temperature in that woman wouldn’t go down a single digit.” Andrew takes out his phone to play a familiar voice mail, “If you don’t believe me listen to this voicemail, she left me after I ignored her calls.”

Carina listens to the voicemail that plays while she is driving with Andrew keeping a straight face after hearing this message too many times only now feeling anguished instead of anger as Amber’s slurring words fill the small car space, “Hi, it’s me again of course you didn’t answer, I guess it’s because you think I’m gonna point out what’s wrong with you and tell you I’m here for you to use as your own verbal punching bag. Yeah, that’s not gonna happen because I’m done Andrew, I am done caring about you because you clearly don’t care about me! Your sister made that obvious when she told me about you calling her and answering your phone when she calls while I have been here wondering where you are or if you’re dead!” Carina winces at that reminder of the day she accidentally told Amber Andrew was taking her calls.

Andrew continues holding the phone out, “You know what I’m not pissed anymore I am glad that you showed me what I should’ve seen two years ago at that awful bar. A man who is turning into a carbon copy of his father, you think I’m like my parents well let me tell you exactly what your dad would do. He would walk into your life acting all sweet and getting you to open your life to him but really he looks for weak spots to tear down like the cold manipulative son of a bitch you accuse him of being. That is exactly what you did to me you bastard.” Andrew closes his eyes at that feeling more tormented at soiling the loving and blissful relationship he and Amber established over two years.

“You got me to open my life to you, you let me feel safe enough to trust you and break my walls down that I put up after what my family did to me. And you know what you did Andrea Vincenzo DeLuca? You broke me! You made the pain you’ve caused so much worse by forcing me to let my guard down so you can twist the knife you put in my back. You are not the man I love, right now you are a carbon copy of your father who I hope ends up dead in a ditch because then you would know exactly how you made me feel you cruel, arrogant, crazy, selfish motherfucker!”

The voicemail ends and the car is filled with silence again as Carina processes that very vulgar message while Andrew looks down the road brooding over the voicemail his ex-girlfriend left when she was rightfully angry.

Carina exhales and takes a beat, “She’s very colorful with her words.”

Andrew nods still frowning, “Yeah and not afraid to make her point across. Do you still think she’s ready to forgive me, marry me and have my babies like none of it ever happened?”

Carina sighs, “I think you put her through a lot and you both need space to heal. The only thing you need to do now is take care of yourself, rest and learn how to establish a routine for yourself so you can be the man she loves again. If she ever decides to forgive you that is up to her and I think it might go better once she sees you are getting ahead of this. I will tell her where you are and how you are doing because I know no matter how angry she was at you she was still worried when you didn’t show up for work the next day. But for now, we’re gonna get you checked in, non aver paura.” Carina grips his hand to keep him calm as they stop outside the check in gate. Carina turns to the security guard, “I’m checking in my brother, Andrew DeLuca.”

“You need to drive around. You say goodbye there; he goes in on foot.” The drop arm in front of them pulls up and Carina drives around as instructed before putting the car in park. They both exit the car before taking his suitcase out of the trunk full of clothes and amenities for the month. Andrew takes an uneasy breath as he puts the suitcase on the ground ready to roll it inside the center.

He and Carina stand there for a moment looking at each other solemnly knowing the journey ahead is what he needs but not one that’s gonna be easy. Carina gives him a reassuring grin before putting her hands on his shoulders while he looks at her with guilt over how he treated her too after his breakdown. Carina has that far from her mind as the only thing that matters to her is that her baby brother knows he will always have her at his side through the worst times of his life like she always does.

“It’s going to be okay,” she says. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it is. You’re nothing like Papa. He wouldn’t do this, he wouldn’t accept help, even in the worst times. That makes you better than him. It makes you stronger and more brave.”

Andrew nods and she takes it as a sign that he is taking in what she is saying.

“I love you, il mio fratellino. And I’m going to be right here to pick you up in four weeks, okay?” Andrew nods knowing this is what he needs and looks at his sister with gratitude for putting up with him at his worst and never giving up on him even when he wanted her to. He resolves from then on to make amends for his mistakes by being his best possible self. And he knows the first step to do that is to head inside so his sister’s efforts aren’t for nothing.

“Thank you,” Andrew says quietly.

It is all she needs to hear, and Carina feels her chest swell. She pulls him in for a hug, holding on to him for as long as she can. Andrew wraps his arms around her pulling her in tight as both an apology and a thank you. They stand there for a minute hugging like they did when their mama died, it was the worst moment of their lives. Despite that they knew then what they know now, that they’re in each other’s corners through the good and bad.

Andrew pulls back feeling calmer and rolls his suitcase behind him walking up the sidewalk to enter the large building. Carina looks on with pride for her brother’s bravery and heartache for his unfair inheritance. As soon as he’s inside the building Carina finally lets the tears fall that she has been holding in since they started the drive. Carina takes a deep breath, wipes her face and heads back inside the car to drive back home.

Later

Carina enters her apartment exhausted despite the sun still being up and walks to the kitchen for her secret junk food stash. Instead of an empty kitchen she finds Maya kneeling down looking in her bottom drawers and pulling out a deep glass baking dish. Maya stands up and smiles at Carina.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Carina greets back pleasantly surprised by Maya in her apartment.

“I know I should have called first after last time, but I didn’t want to call at a bad time. I figured you and your brother needed to do this without intrusion and-”

Carina interrupts Maya with a kiss that takes the blonde firefighter’s breath away. Maya is conscious enough to put the glass on the counter, so she doesn’t drop it. She puts her hands on Carina’s firm waist sinking into this passionate embrace. After a few blissful moments Carina pulls back and leans her head forward against Maya’s looking deep into her blue eyes that look into her brown eyes with such love and conviction.

“I’m glad you’re here, I really needed to see you after.”

Maya rubs Carina’s back soothingly, “I’m here now, it didn’t go okay?”

Carina groans slightly, “He was hesitant at first there were tears and a lot of slamming doors…but eventually he agreed to let us help him. I called in and got him into a treatment center at Bellevue.”

“And the drive up?”

Carina sighs, “He told me how guilty he feels about Erin and Amber. He told me that he regrets hurting a woman that he loves repeatedly when she was trying to help. I told him that it would be okay that she might forgive him but honestly…I don’t know if she is.”

“I hurt you too, I lashed out and I did a very stupid and awful thing to you and you still forgave me. If we can do that then I think they can too.”

Carina chuckles bitterly, “You don’t know Amber Karev she is…she is angry and rightfully so and she has had enough people hurting her when they had a mental breakdown. I don’t know if she can forgive him and love him again. He loves her so much, what am I supposed to do if she rejects him and he is heartbroken without the love of his life there with him?”

Maya looks at her in thought, “…You could get him a dog.” Carina laughs at that suggestion causing Maya to smile, “I had to do something to make you smile. He’ll be okay I don’t know him but if he’s like you then he will bounce back and move on. As long as he still has you, he’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” Carina holds Maya’s hip. “And when he’s better, I’m going to make sure he gets to know you properly. I want him to know you, Maya.”

Maya smiles, her cheeks blushing pink. She is not normally the kind of person that someone wants to introduce to their family, and it used to be a red flag to her, but not this time. This time, she wants it. She wants to be all in with Carina and get to know her brother she loves so much hoping when the time comes, she gets his approval.

“I would like that.” Maya tells Carina who smiles, “I just hope he likes me.”

“He will.” Carina tells her with conviction, “If he doesn’t, he’ll just have to learn to get used to you or I will kick his bottom.” Maya laughs at that image and Carina looks at the pan with interest, “Why were you taking a pan out anyway? We’re you gonna make me something?”

Maya smiles and pulls away from Carina to grab the glass pan, “I remember you telling me that whenever you or your brother would get sad or scared you would go to the kitchen and make something together to cheer yourselves up. I thought we could do that since you need cheering up.”

Carina looks at Maya in awe over her remembering that story. She can still remember the day their mama yelled at papa and threw plates at him after he killed those four patients. She and Andrea would crawl under the covers and she would sing to him to calm him down. The next morning when their mama was in bed and their papa was at work, she took her brother to the kitchen and taught him how to make French toast. The process helped keep their minds off their parent’s breaking apart so every fight they overheard they would find a new recipe to try. It was their thing and it make Carina’s heart skip a beat at the thought of sharing that with Maya.

“You would do that for me?”

Maya nods, “I would do anything for you, I love you Carina.”

“Ti amo Maya.”

Maya smiles at the Italian words that she finds so sexy coming from Carina but focuses on the task at hand, “So do you want to start with the lasagna? I have been dying to know what your secret is.”

“Ah, ah, ah.” Carina teases, “You are not there yet bambina, we have start you off with something simple and then work our way up to my famous lasagna.”

Maya chuckles, “Oh really? Okay sexy Guy Fieri what’s level one of this cooking challenge?”

“Mmm.” Carina thinks with a grin, “Let’s start with something simple like spaghetti aglio e olio.”

“It sounds delicious what is it?”

“Spaghetti in garlic and oil sauce.” Carina explains.

Maya’s nose wrinkles at the concoction, “It sounds like a vampire’s worst nightmare.”

Carina chuckles, “Trust me bella you say that now but when we are done you will fall to your knees over my cooking skills.”

“News flash it doesn’t take you cooking for me to do that.” Maya tells her with a mischievous smile and Carina looks at her in amusement, “Okay what do you want me to do chef?”

“Chef? Wow I think I am going to love this.” Carina teases before they head to the pantry to pull out ingredients. Carina looks at Maya with love and admiration knowing that despite the day she and her brother had things were gonna be okay, she believed it.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Jared JIB13 Saturday Panel

He jumps right into questions and so will we...

Do he and Jensen drive around the Impala's or do they mostly stay in the garage?

Baby bro, his Impala, is in his garage in Austin next to the picture of him on a horse from French Mistake. He says he has to take a pic of that and tweet it, that they both got the Impala's restored and his got finished first but it's not registered yet in America so it's still a Canadian vehicle which is weird because it was born in America in Detroit but it go registered in Canada. In order for him to be able to drive it he has to get it registered but they will certainly go road trip. And he does a Jensen impression saying, "I love baby" 😂 x

Why does he think Sam only had one son?

He jokingly says Sam only had one son that he knew of 😉 But he thinks Sam did all right, in his opinion the reason he only had one son is that when Sam and Dean were both alive Sam had a questionable history as far as success and failures go when it comes to loved ones so to speak, you know his first love was on fire on the ceiling, his next was a werewolf, then a demon that makes you start the apocalypse so he thinks Sam had a child and he tried to not mess it up. He does truly believe that we'll see Sam and Dean ride again in the version of Sam and Dean that are played by he and Jensen but in the mean time he thinks Sam thought 'I've been through enough, this kid is healthy, ten fingers ten toes, I'm gonna honor my brother' so that's where he went. x

How does he think Sam dealt with his hell trauma through all of the years?

The way he played it, and the way he thought it- there's a funny thing being an actor on a show, especially a show that you've done for an ep or two or 3 because he thinks it's cumulative, it grows on each other. Every episode you do in a tv show, if you care, is like a brick. So episode 1 you get a brick, ep 2 you get another brick, ep 3 you might get 3 more bricks, and so on and so forth and there are some really pivotal episodes where you get a whole brick wall like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Changing Channels, the Simon Said one for him was very funny, Fresh Blood, Sacrifice. Sacrifice, he feels he put up an entire wall and poured some more foundation on the floor to build another wall. And so by the time they got to hell!sam you just kinda have to do the best you can, and say okay here's the house of Sam.

And he feels like this, and for people that he hasn't been able to talk to about mental health directly, he tries to think of himself and everybody else as a mountain and so you're a mountian and sometimes you look up and it's a cloudy sky or it's raining or thundering, the next day could be the most beautiful day you've ever seen so don't commit to that thunderous lightning sky. And vice versa if it's beautiful and there's rainbows and birds and you're like everyting's great and it's gonna be that way forever in a week it might be a very shitty day so things change, and that's not dissimilar to how to tell the story of a character so when he played hell Sam all of that was there and it was really though, it's hard to go there, and he thinks a lot of actors and actresses are really well equipped to play a scene like that they can kinda just go into it and come out of it feeling fine, but for him it stayed with him for a little bit, and he thinks it's because it was theraputic for him because there was some stuff he had to deal with and so he explored it.

He's really grateful for his friend Sam, he got to explore a lot of stuff that he would've failed at so he's happy to have had that relationship for 15yrs and hopefully again but all those aspects were there, and still are there if you think about it, he can go back and play hell Sam tomorrow, and he might, he hopes to. x

In a previous panel he mentioned stoicism, could he talk more about it?

The question that he had been asked in said previous panel where he mentioned stoicism was who would he like to sit down to have a meal with, and he says his first thought is that right now he'd love to talk to his grandpa that died before he was born.

He feels he's learned quite a bit about stoicism. He'd love to delve into it he thinks the perceived peace, and not that stoicism is being peaceful, but he thinks it's finding the peace and that has been a journey for him. Again the mountain, the clouds change but remain your own mountain and stay peaceful and pacifist and this too shall pass, so he thinks maybe one of the things he loved about learning about stoicism at just an elementary level that he'd love to keep exploring is how to keep seeking peace wherever you are. x

Does he get his hair permed?

He doesn't get it permed. He shares a cute story about how his hair now is very long because he hasn't had a haircut since wrapping up filming on Walker s3, which happened 3 days after the last JIB back at the end of February, he's had long hair before, obviously, but this is a short hair haircut that has grown out so he doesn't know how to do it, and so he got to the green room that morning and went to Jensen and told him he was fucked because he has hair product for short hair now and he didn't know what to do, and he didn't want to put on his beanie all day long but Jensen told him he might have something and saved his ass as Dean saves Sam's ass many times. Jensen always taking care of his boy 🥰 And if I want to headcanon that Jensen styled Jared's hair nobody can stop me. x

Has the why did uncle Jensen kill mommy talk happened?

It hasn't. He and G have watched some Walker with the kids so it's more why did dad want you killed if he's the producer, but there's something really funny that he feels, and people have asked many times if he's watched SPN with his kids, and his kind of canned answer is they're not old enough to see all that blood but they are, or that they can't see love scenes which they can they get it, it's more he has such a deep and abidding love for SPN and Sam and Dean and C and all the other characters that he doesn't want to watch SPN with the kids casually. He will watch SPN with his kids, he will watch every single ep with them but when he does so he wants to be able to pause and say 'hey here are the archetypes, here are the storylines, here are the tropes, here's why the storyline is going this way because soon it might go that way' basically he wants to able to explain it to them. This is something he's gone through with Tom about like Harry Potter or Star Wars and what's the hero's journey and the speedbumbs along the way. But he will watch it with them and he's sure he will get that question, and hopefully he'll have an answer by then. x

The next fan thanks him for Walker Independence and asks him what his favorite bit was

His favorite bit was attempting to give a voice to the stories that haven't been told yet, it's still an open wound but he's so proud of the cast, the storylines, the characters. It's one of those bummers when he has to remind himself that he's a talking monkey, we all are and sometimes it works out where the people who do or don't decide to pay for you to do another season do or don't decide to pay for it. He couldn't be more proud of the show, the stories, actors and actresses, characters, and he hopes we see more of it somehow. x

Does he have any birthday traditions?

He doesn't have a tradition, honestly when he turned 18 he was filming on Gilmore Girls. When he grew up they had birthday parties but once he moved to LA he believes between his birthday in 2018 and his birthday in 2005 when he turned 22-23, he thinks he was on set for like 12 of his 15 birthdays just filming, and he tells another really sweet Jensen story about how when they were filming Wendigo, it was like the 4th day of filming and it was his birthday and he didn't tell anyone but Jensen found out somehow and surprised him by having the crew sing him happy birthday and get him birthday cake 💕

"Ackles somehow or another found out that it was my birthday. And I think this was like day 4 of filming Wendigo, and I didn't say anything I was like, whatever I'm 23 it is what it is, I'm here to work and then when lunch happened I think Jensen was like 'hey, we're gonna rehearse the next scene before we break for lunch' and I was like okay, cool and so I went back into the set to rehearse and they had a birthday cake for me. I guess he had found out it was my birthday and had them all sing happy birthday to me and had them bring me a birthday cake."

This is so precious 🥹

Anyways, he doesn't really have a birthday tradition, if he were to have a tradition it's that he and G try to go to Italy every summer, and she's currently there so they're gonna spend the week there and try to celebrate this week. x

What's a scene between Sam and C that he would have liked to have seen on the show?

Two part answer to a one part question, he really loves the scene directed by Richard Speight with Sam and Sully, and he loves that Sam had an outlet in Sully to kinda talk about what he wouldn't talk to Dean about, and we're all in those relatonships where the person you care most about it's not that you lie to them but you don't tell them how stressed, or worried, or tired you are so he would have loved to see a scene between Sam and C where Sam thanks C for being there for Dean when Sam can't. With all due respect, that's a no from me. x

Has he heard his french voice in SPN? The actor who dubbed him also dubs Matt Damon and Patrick Dempsey! Also, does he find it weird to hear a foreign voice coming from him?

He finds it really fucking cool. He met in Barcelona, maybe 11yrs ago, the actor who dubbed him. He loves it, he thinks it's so cool. His first experience ever hearing himself dubbed was when he was in Beijing, China back in 2006. They had just finished s1, and he and his buddy who was there were unpacking, and they had the tv on and he heard the trailer for some tv show in the background and his friend started freaking out and told him to look and when Jared looked at the tv it was him in s1. So '06 or '07, he doesn't remember, in the summer he went to China and saw it dubbed in Mandarin, and he found it the coolest thing that's ever happened in his life. Says that if anybody wants to dub him, in any language, DM him, he loves it.

He'd love to watch it, and to meet the performer who does it in French as well. x

What's the secret to his and Jensen's brotherhood?

This questions is possibly a version of his favorite question that could ever be asked about SPN. The main thing he can say is that whatever you see on camera though Jensen and he were playing Sam and Dean Winchester they weren't faking shit. It was real to them and it was and still is an amazing life lesson that you get out of something what you put into it, if you half ass something whether it's a friendship, marriage, profession, diet, excercise routine, you're gonna get half-assed results. If you go 'fuck it, i'm all in and if I get hurt I get hurt and I'll abandon ship and do something else' and they went all in like he thinks sometimes he can think about when that moment happened but he thinks both he and Jensen just went like 'you know what this is found family, could be found family'.

Maybe Jensen turns out to be an asshole, maybe he (Jared) turns out to be an asshole and if that happens then he can reverse and put his guards back up and say this guy is a jerk or vice versa Jensen can say he's a jerk about him, but they both just kinda went all right I'm gonna trust you, they didn't say the words but they had that kind of non verbal communication and went after it, and he to this day loves the guy like a brother. And there are ups and downs, somebody goes through something in their life and he'll speak for himself sometimes when he's super stressed out he can be a little curt, a little maybe caustic, snarky or sarcastic and his buddies around him have to be like 'hey, you're kind of being a dick are you alright?' and he'll go 'no i'm not alright im going through this' but having that trust- he knows he and Jensen found that with SPN in Sam and Dean, and he loves their relationship like he wants that for his sons. He doesn't want the rebar but he wants them to rely on each other.

That he heard a great quote: parents leave us too soon, we're not around long enough for our children, siblings are the ones we go through life with. And he thinks siblings can mean anything, if you're an only child, it's your friend, it's your buddy, you need a partner, you need two people in that rowboat. It doesn't need to be somebody who's there everyday but somebody you can go to, and you might not agree all the time but life is not about agreement otherwise why go through life if you have nothing to learn, if everything you say is right, so he thinks they just trust each other and he doesn't know why but they held each others careers in each others hands and were like 'I got you, you got me? Yeah. All right let's get to work'. ❤️

On SPN G was like the demon on his shoulder, on Walker she's like the angel on his shoulder what did he like best demon G or angel G?

Storyline wise he loved demon G. Says, he's a weird guy, he's a nice guy but he's a weird guy because he loves being around people he loves and trusts that are intelligent when he grew up, in High School he was into debating so sometimes he wants to say something not because he means it but because he trusts somebody else's intellect and he wants to hear their reaction and response and he hopes they'll want to hear his as well so he'll say something like he thinks lights should be outlawed and we should go back to candles because this is bad for the enviroment and someone will counter reply he likes the minutia, he likes the back and forth, he likes conflict, conflict is what storytelling is about often and it's whatever the reminder of after conflict has been settled it's whatever the reminder is that teaches the audience and to an extent the performers what the whole scene was about in the first place, it's never what you think it's about. So, he likes that but as far as angel G in Walker it's been fun to show her off to his Austin cast and crew, especially during the covid days when no one else was allowed so he guesses he should say angel G, Emily, so she can come back to s4. x

...I could say something but I'm not going to....

Last question, was he able to sight see in Poland?

He answers that he finally got to his motherland Poland and it was amazing. He had a great time, he was there for 9 days but it was for a USO tour so everyday he was at a different base so not a lot of sight seeing but he saw a lot, he saw a lot of the country. The fan asks if he got to see any of the beaches, he did not, they were inland the whole time he didn't even know they had beaches. He also didn't get to see Katowice which is where his grandparents are from but he'll go back, he wants to go back; it was a lot of trying to give back to people who were in the front lines of the Ukraine-Russia conflict so there wasn't a whole lot of time for traffic or tourism but he can't wait to go back, he had a great time, loved the people. x

Jared JIB13 Saturday

[kskbli]

(╥﹏╥)

26.07.2024 (1)

i’m sitting in my living room, my cat next to me and i’m crying my eyes out . . .

i don’t cry often but the past few days or weeks i’ve become super emotional

i miss my girlfriend so much and i feel so so sad for her i love her more than words can describe and i wish i could show her

i hate being a burden on her, she’s the nicest person on earth, nobody has ever been so patient with me, brought me breakfast to bed, brought me my medication after waking up, cared for my cat like it was her own, gave me so much hope

it makes me so sad knowing i haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, i have been struggling so much and keep forgetting small things

i hate acting like this but i wish she could be around me 24/7 . . . it’s the only time i feel like i’m not getting sucked up by nothingness

i know it’s not good, but i’m not either

everything i do, i can’t fully enjoy, especially everything i “achieve”

i finally finished my apprenticeship 2 days ago and here where i live you can finish your apprenticeship with normal results or with excellent results (when you make 0 mistakes during the exam) and i obviously got the normal results, because i didn’t care enough to study for excellent results . . .

and because i thought nobody would care, my family, my friends and future employers

but turns out! it’s the first thing everybody seems to say/ask the moment i tell them i finished my apprenticeship exam . . . it makes me sad kind of

i sent a job application to this really cool place on saturday and got a call back yesterday, i never had such a stressful phone call

they said they wanted to see me coming tuesday ! hopefully they’ll accept my piercings, because i’m not taking them out (つω`｡)

i wish my partner was here T_T

this week was supposed to be my last week at my current job, but i called in sick for the whole week

can’t stand seeing them anymore, the cherry on top was when the whole team congratulated my coworker on her exam but not even half of the people congratulated me

that made me super sad, i even cried a little bit not going to lie hahahah :’)

this is the second time this week that i’ve stayed up this late . . . i don’t know what’s wrong with me

i haven’t struggled with sleeping the past few years so this is coming out of nowhere

and worst thing. i have to go to the doctors in 2 hours T_T don’t want to risk going to sleep and oversleeping, cause that’s something i have been doing alot too the last months

it’s getting bright outside

04:45

[delta-gambit-au]

Some more voice line experiments (NEO voice 🤖)

I'm experimenting a little with voicing for the NEO parts, but I'm not sure if the mechanical effect I achieved is good enough 🤔

Like, I'm trying to learn the ropes of doing all the effects on my own using Audacity, and understanding how to use the Equalizer graphic and the Wave to turn the sine into reverse sawtooth (I found that it sounded best with that). I also plan to make a little animation to go with these voice lines but all in due time. In order from my first experiment to the last (warning to lower your volume if you are using headphones because I still don't know how to export sounds with less punching power):

Nothing else, just some things I did on a Saturday morning because working on a game from scratch makes you to delve into learning a ton of stuff from graphics to sound to coding.

Also for a blessing of good news, finally got hired and had the on-boarding this past Friday. This is a probatory of 3 months though so hope they like the work while it lasts and hope that they renovate it at the end of September. Le busy.

(they have a Slack group with almost everybody using cartoon character avatars -- wat?)

And this next week my new PSU should arrive. Installing it will be a nightmare but I hope I can manage to do it without destroying the computer.

Oh well, that's it. I have a ton of chores to do on Sunday and I'm already procrastinating enough. See you next post.

[ultimatebabygirlsupremebattle]

Alright, here's where we're at everybody!

The left bracket semifinals featuring @probably-not-a-rutabaga and @less-depresso-more-espresso will be posted at the usual time next week!

The 'Biggest nerd' mini tournament will be posted next Saturday (Eastern Standard Time) as usual, unfortunately this time we can't allow last second submissions, as we're trying to lessen our stress right now, but we're hoping that any interested participants were preparing based on the calendar and made a start on their submissions over the last week, when the 'Biggest nerd' submissions were originally supposed to be open

As for the right bracket semifinals (which will be posted the week after as always), instead of following up via DMs like before we figured we'd just ask here, @avidlylivid @cpunkhobie @glitter-alienzzz @teenagemutanttransgenderturtles, have you all thought up a team name yet? (Its fine if not, there are a lot of you and we haven't properly asked yet, but try to come up with one before your semifinals!)

Anyone interested in a more personal update can look below the read more! (Warning for descriptions of oral surgery and recovery, for those who didn't know. It does get detailed because we ramble a lot.)

So! Surprise surgery! It was definitely a lot, we were on a two year waiting list to have all of our wisdom teeth removed at a hospital closer to the city (we're hella rural, we're lucky we have a hospital at all, but no specialists actually live here), but on Monday morning last week we got a call saying the person who was going to be operated on by the once-a-year visiting specialist cancelled at the last second, so that day we went to the hospital and went over the details of the surgery, and then we were told it was going to happen the next day. We still could have turned it down, but it was a crazy opportunity because the two year wait would be removed, and we would get to have the surgery done in our home town (travel is intense on us, and the original hospital is 6 hours away). So we agreed (with no real chance to communicate inwardly about it, a lot of us are rightfully upset about the lack of warning and preparation time).

(Extra space for app notification users, since opening via notification automatically opens the readmore)

The surgery itself went well, general anaesthesia isn't as bad as we thought it would be, we didn't even stay awake long enough for the "count down from 10" thing you see in movies and shows, and next thing we knew there were nurses in front of us asking if we wanted water or anything.

The problems came (and are still coming) after. We have a sensory based eating disorder (ARFID, to be specific), and impulsively having oral surgery done (in the mouth, where an insane amount of senses are) kinda is making life impossible. We went to the ER the day after our surgery because nausea was messing us up real bad, but when on nausea meds and plenty of painkillers food just....its really rough. Obviously solids are out of the question (even now when we're starting to get out of the danger zone), but that leaves liquids and.....have you ever noticed how liquids are only ever sweet? Sweet is not our preferred taste. With the way our ARFID is, our body's way of rejecting food is our throat closing up and just straight up not letting anything go down, so forcing ourselves to eat is physically impossible. Its the end of the day, as we're typing this, and all we've managed to eat is a cup of yoghurt and a little bit of jelly. Its been really bad.

On top of all this, we can barely sleep, the limited ways we can lay down make getting comfortable really rough, and when we do eventually fall asleep we wake up a few hours later because the pain meds are wearing off. We do best at 10 hours of sleep a day, and we're only getting 6 right now. This and the lack of food leaves us bedridden, the medical issues we already have aren't happy with us.

Its hard to say how well we're healing up, we're too squeamish to actually look, but there's been minor outside improvements like the level of pain when the meds wear off and how wide we can open our mouth (swallowing is also pain free now), so we're not too concerned. Still really want a follow up appointment with the dentist soon.

We've been getting a lot of help from our support worker with everything, we normally don't rely on her too heavily but its definitely been needed, and might still be needed for a while even as recovery starts to speed up because there is definitely going to be recovery time from this recovery.

Do we regret it? Sometimes, but this surgery would have had to happen eventually anyway, and under more taxing conditions too. We're trying to keep that fact in mind as much as possible.

Still, we're never agreeing to next-day surgery again.

....maybe.

.........it depends on if it saves us from travelling for the surgery.

[tomatosoupgroup]

screenshot saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so uhh

this'll be a short one

sorryyyyyyy

I DO HAVE STUFF FOR YOU THOUGH

for example....

you might be wondering what the hell this is

this is a background for the visual novel aspect of the game!

well, an unfinished one.

i based it off this screenshot i took off google maps!

some of the things i need to add are

well

pretty much everything lol

but let's be more specific:

you see how in mine, all the textures seem flat, while in the real photo, the textures are defined?

bit funky innit

the thing is uh. i have no idea how to add texture like this in pixel art.

ive tried many times and it just looks really bad lmao

so i've done some research, and i think what i'm looking for are called "clusters"

never heard of those before

also whenever i look up a tutorial for drawing them they just basically say "just draw these funny shapes!" and i'm like "okay but wHERE. YOU CANNOT JUST TELL ME TO DO THING. I NEED CONTEXT FOR THING. OOGA BOOGA BANG ROCK WITH STICK"

completely unrelated but i've noticed that whenever i get two ads on youtube, i can't skip them both at once

like when i press the skip ad button, it just goes to the next ad

don't know if this is only happening to me but it is REALLY annoying

fuck you youtube

i suppose i should dedicate the end of my post to the project itself.

ANOTHER QNA!

Q: Will you charge money for the game?

A: Complicated question.

this game is the epitome of a passion project in my eyes. it is a story i am telling not for any of my own personal gain, but simply because i feel like it is a story that needs to be told.

but enough of all this sappy shit, i'll just explain it simply:

when this game eventually comes out, i will either:

a: open the game up to donations (like the "name your price" thing), the majority of which will go to charity and anyone who helps on the project or

b: make the game 100% free.

Q: Do you accept fanart of the characters?

A: UH

YEAH????

if you draw my characters i will literally go bonkers /pos style

i unfortunately don't have an official ref sheet for any of them yet, but i'll be able to provide substitutes if asked

i think it would be cool to feature some of the fanart in the credits! (with permission from the artists, of course!) but that may take up too much space so i'll have to think it over.

tldr i fucking love fanart

Q: What about NSFW?

A: ...

Okay.

Listen.

I HIGHLY advise against it. I'm a minor and that's just like. weird.

Even after I turn 18, it'll still be weird because they were characters I first drew up when I was 16.

but at the same time, i accept that this is the internet, and that some gooner supremo will eventually stumble across this game :/

so i just have one definitive request.

PLEASE

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

DO NOT INCLUDE CHARACTERS WHO ARE UNDER 18

for example:

You may remember Silhouette.

they are CANONICALLY 13.

so like. keep them out of it.

i don't care if they're "just a character". you could say my fist is "just a body part" right before i bash your face in

if you want, i can provide the ages for any character you ask. i have a whole spreadsheet!

so please.

anyways that's gonna do it for today

to everybody who isn't youtube: i love you and thank you for being here

i will see you next week!

[lightlycareless]

how about a little spoiler for the next chapter 🤭🤭( but not too little )

Heya anon! Of course!! As usual, here's the first page :> or a bit more, kind of like 2. Depends of the typography lol.

It's the halloween special, my favorite chapter... 😭❤️

Spoilers for chapter 40 under the cut:

While yet to begin the day, you’d wake up with the sensation that the estate was eerily silent for no reason, a calm ambience that made you feel like you could hear what was happening on the other side of the estate if you were attentive enough…

A sensation that also seemed to extend to the staff, due to the lack of footsteps rushing from one side of the living quarters to the other, almost as if they’ve already tended to all the duties for the day, and now, had free time for themselves.

There was even a time where you thought it impossible for the Zen’in estate to have a calm day, especially since you were the most controversial figure there, yet, here you are, admiring a day without much, if any, commotion.

Naturally, you wonder what could’ve happened to have such stillness, and if it was something you’d be able to use in your favor now that you’re feeling a bit better. That rough patch of sickness sure got you in quite the disadvantage, both physically and emotionally, so you could certainly use day off.

“Everything’s calm, isn’t?” You’d tell Mariya while closely watching her take out your attire for the day: something warm to fight the rising winter, but adequate enough to not make you feel overcrowded. “It’s kind of eerie.”

“Fits with the day, doesn’t it?” she says with a smile.

“The day…?” you blink—what made today so special?

“Halloween, of course” Mariya responds “The 31st of October, Saturday in fact. The end of the week.”

Oh.

How could you forget that today is Halloween?

But most importantly…

Has it really been that long since your wedding?

It was ironic to even say that, since you’ve always considered that time at the Zen’in estate felt like an eternity. But now, it’s been months since you’ve last seen your family, friends, and freedom—yet they remain in your mind vividly as ever.

Given the date they’re probably already working, eased into their stations as they prepared to watch over the night.

As every year, you assumed, Ren would’ve told you that he’d rather stay home watching horror movies or go out to the city and make the best of this western celebration instead of working; while Hinata thought the complete opposite, wanting to go out to work because she gets to see curses that don’t come out that often, or perhaps even new ones. Always the workaholic, your sister.

And you, on the other hand… well, you just wanted to go out anywhere, really. After years and years of seclusion, you were itching to see the world and uncover all its mysteries.

But you suppose that staying inside will be good too, not that it was your decision to make, but at least you’ll have company this time.

“Oh, right” you eventually respond. “Wow, didn’t think it was today already.”

“Time flies, doesn’t it? Specially if you’re busy.” Mariya sighs. Something in her tone tells you she’s been wanting to take a break for a while now, but that is not meant to happen for the prime lady-in-waiting.

“Then you’re already centuries ahead” You chuckle, she agrees with a laugh of her own. “All I’ve been doing is sleep and stay in my room… so I’m more than ready to do literally anything else for a change.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Y/N. But it seems I won’t be able to help you there much” Mariya says, placing your clothes on the bed. “Since everybody is out the estate for work, most of the staff doesn’t have duties to do, outside of cleaning I suppose… but what is there to clean if there no one dirtying it?”

You nod along, she makes a whole lot of sense now that she puts it that way.

“Must be the favorite day for the staff, hm?”

“It’s relaxing, I can admit that.” Mariya adds “We can essentially do whatever we want without being constantly watched… kind of, there’s still the staff of the master’s to worry about, but as long as we don’t look like we’re relaxing too much, we should be fine.”

“Do you celebrate Halloween?”

“Not really, I mean, I would just go down to the village market and see whatever seasonal stuff they have—but even then, I don’t usually buy much” Mariya reminisces, last year, there was a particular vendor who sold a wide collection of impressive masks, proclaimed to be hand-painted by himself, ranging from silly, moderately adorable, to straight up terrifying.

Certainly, the man had talent for his craft, and it made Mariya wonder if he’ll be there this year again, maybe she should go down there and buy one just to support him.

And the year before that, the villagers set up a small puppet theater to tell horror stories, nothing too scary, just something to entertain those who wished to indulge in the seasonal ambience. It was mostly, if not completely, family oriented. Mariya found herself listening to one or two stories whenever she could.

While the people of the Zen’in clan thought these days tedious, others considered a day of leisure—truly, two sides of the same coin.

“But outside of that, I just spend my time here. It’s essentially an extra day off so I just use it to call my family, or hang out with Tatsuro” She adds “What about you? Do sorcerers celebrate Halloween or is it just for work?”

“A bit of both” you respond.

“Shibuya?”

“Oh, no—I never been one to enjoy that kind of environment.” you chuckle “It can get too chaotic, though I did dress up when I was younger…”

“No way!” Mariya gasps, a grin parting her lips as she tries to imagine the kind of costume your younger self would wear. “Tell me there’s pictures at least!”

[manapotionstudios]

ManaPost 11 - Weather Update!

Heyo everybody! You may be wondering why there's a normal ManaPost on a Saturday, or why this post is named "Weather Update!", or why this post seems a little lackluster. Your questions will all be answered soon!

Welcome Back!

C! Is back! Yeahooo!!! With them back we can get back to full speed! Now this leads into why this post is rather low on the game content. Together, we decided that this ManaPost would function better as a general update post and should give us enough time to get back to Manapotioning.

Where's that ManaPost you promised???

Yeah... Admittedly I (Y) fell short of that one. My Personal life have been a little... Aggravating. To say the least. HOWEVER!!! We plan to get better at managing Manaport and Delaney together, but we should make one thing clear to you:

School.

School starts soon, and unfortunately that does mean that the frequency of these updates will dwindle. Rest assured that we're still doing our best work during these coming months.

That's land!

To wrap this slightly bleak ManaPost up, we plan to work our hardest to have at least a bit of content surplus in order to keep spirits up. School usually takes a lot out of us, (especially now that we'll be in our 3rd year!) and our personal lives sometimes don't allow for further development. Game development is difficult when you're run by two highschoolers!

Thanks for the heart-to-heart. We'll see you soon with some hopefully exciting news on Delaney! Stay tuned next week, and again, welcome back, C!

C and Y

PS: Sorry its late 💀

[araisbored]

Temporary bliss.

So, how do we do this again?

There is too much pressure after writing that Niki piece. My brain can only handle much.

It’s always like this, the feeling of being unwary but at the same time unsure when I first write something for a long time. We are not new to a long hiatus. And definitely not new to this kind of pattern. It actually becomes uncanny when I post often. So how’s everybody doing?

I am writing because I’m avoiding work again and I have time to kill. Well, life is still the same here. Busy and sometimes I still don’t have enough time to do things here at work and yet here I am killing my time with my nonsense blog. Why would I prepare for the things I need to  do in the future with the time I have today? That’s one of the wonders of my life as well. And what’s funny is no one probably cares what I write here but when you actually checked me out and found out this cute blog or simply just found this by accident. I would like to say thank you.

My life has been (it always was) chaotic. Family moved back here in our hometown. (Is it still called hometown if they moved back here?) The first few months of April was busy unpacking and it actually last until the first few weeks of May. I have been driving to work now. Which is a gift and a curse at the same time. A gift considering and comparing the time I woke up now and before. (From 5am to 6am.) And a curse with the amount of maintenance and bills you pay when you use a car on a daily basis.

I impulsively bought an iPad and wow. It is a fucking life changer. The girls on tiktok are not lying when they say it was their life. I use it mainly as my planner and some PPT work here and there. And it was AMAZING. I wanna share here how I use my planner and what template I use for those. Probably on the next post. I wanna boast to all of you that I actually make my own template. So if you find that ugly, let’s keep it to ourselves.

No updates on love life. I wanted to but it is still dry AF. Although relations at work have improved a little compared to what I had last year. I am enjoying the bliss of having my mom around. But also living the pain and endless responsibility of having my sister. But when good things happen, for instance when she plays a clarinet in front of her school, I feel somewhat fulfilled as if I’m the one who performed and blew that thing. All of the mornings during Saturdays, (which I plan to rest) dropping her for her practice was all paid off.

I also enjoy dressing up these days. There were days before that I did love dressing up. Then it died down because I got bored and there was no one to impress. But hey, new people came to my workplace and I started making myself pretty again. What's funny is there is a competition now here. But still now digits from my crush. So what is the point really?

I am not new in my work and now really getting the hang of it. Actually I shouldn’t be saying that I am getting the hang of it when I’ve been around the block. I live in the block. Not to spoil my temporary seventh heaven, but I’m getting bored.

There are unfortunate things that happened but why would I share it with you? I won’t let you know the places I am wounded and you won’t see me bleed. Or in this case you will not know I’m bleeding. I cannot say that I have a lot in store for you but I have some things kept on my sleeve. 

That's it for the Ara mini-update.

I will try to post something but wouldn't that be an out of character thing for me? hehe.

Ttyl,

A.

[kalux-sims]

Still brainstorming for my Pride month stuff. There are four Saturdays, but if I'm inspired and productive enough, I might squeak a fifth thing in on Friday 6/30.

I've already finished the ALL Clothes For ALL Kids thing and decided I don't have the gumption to do hair too. It's just too many parts.

Next will probably be beards for AFAB sims, though I don't know if they have to be stubble only or if meshed beards can be a thing.

Then, maybe for the last thing, undies for EveryBody. Packers and binders. Bras/bralettes and gaffs. All kinds of stuff.

...but that's only three things and I'm aiming for 4-5. Hmm. I don't think I have the time or energy to learn to do top surgery overlays. I can probably only manage one EveryBody project in a month. I'm still disappointed in myself for not keeping up with that whole thing, but I'm happy that others have embraced my fat trans bodyshapes.

Anyway, I'm hoping to make a statement with each download post next month. The ALL Kids post will be about trans kids. This is such a scary time for them, being targeted by vile politicians. The AFAB beards post will be about visibility, gender expression, etc. The undies one might also be about visibility, and how some of us are affirmed most by what you can't see.

I'm still considering doing an "egg" themed set. Eggs are people who haven't yet realized they're trans. It's a very common thing for trans people and enbies to dress in certain ways, especially in our teens. AFAB eggs often wear loose shirts and men's pants and shoes. AMAB eggs tend to dabble in somewhat femme styles, especially "as a joke" or at Halloween, because it's often less safe for AMAB people to openly express femininity than it is for AFAB people to be any degree of masc. How I'll translate that for sims, I'm not 100% sure yet.

So maybe that's all four weeks? Thoughts? Suggestions?

[percontaion-points]

Lost Boys chapters 21 & 22

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 21

Okay, I was having that same weird dream again, I thought to myself. It was the same moonless night in that infinite desert and the same gothlooking girl was sitting next to me. I sat up and turned towards her. 

No. 

You get to pick ONE plot. 

And I feel like the author lost that right when she glossed over Joe talking with Ms. Violet about this. 

THAT WAS TWO GODDAMNED WEEKS AGO!

“Yes. That night at the cemetery, you called me.” 

Apprehension gripped my stomach. “What night?”

Considering that Joe hasn’t been back to the cemetery since… Take a goddamned wild guess. 

Sky. Her name is Sky.

 “That’s a good one!” I heard her whisper in my ear, and then I woke up completely, and the dream faded from my mind like twirling leaves scattered by the wind. 

The sound of his alarm woke Seth up too. He wanted to rehearse the new songs today, even though it was Saturday. He’d decided that two days a week to practice wasn’t good enough for “the band”, so we were rehearsing three afternoons in the week, and now apparently we were going to practice all weekend too. Seth was riding us pretty hard with all the band practice, but I didn’t mind; rehearsal time was like the most amazing time ever for me!

Why does the book even fucking bother at this point? 

This isn’t a supernatural romance novel. Take out the first couple of chapters, and nobody would ever fucking know. 

Our little unnoticed band was finally starting to get noticed inside Sagan’s grounds.

Chapter 21 summary: The book finally remembered that it has a plot other than a high school band. Joe finds herself in a dream with the weird goth girl, whom we haven’t seen since Tristan first turned human. The girl warns Joe that she’s playing a dangerous game, and chides her for not even knowing who she is when Joe “called her” that night. Then she laughs over Joe recounting that she gave the mysterious man a name of Vigil and punched him. 

However, the second Joe wakes up, she forgets about the dream, so IDK what the point of any of that was. We’re back to business as usual, which is frustrating, because as I keep saying… Pick one plot here! 

Before the group gets together to rehearse, Tristan checks in with Joe to make sure that she was okay with their kiss last night. She assures him that she is 100% okay with it… and would like to repeat it again soon. 

Then one of The Boys™ comes in and starts talking about how everybody but one hooked up last night. However, he can’t sense if a girl had hooked up, so Joe is somehow scott-free. 

Chapter 22

I was baffled. “I-I-I … There was NO hookup!” I shouted, stamping my foot. “And even if there had been, it’s none of your goddamn business! And these bets are awful! You are all awful people! You want some gossip to spread around? Spread this one: if I ever hear that someone has made a bet on me again, I’ll kick their ass! Got it?” I snapped, and stomped off to my next class. 

That is the correct response. 

That and telling the staff that the students are making bets on who can fuck other students. I’m sure that the staff would LOOOOOVE to hear about that!

“I always get this feeling you’re hiding something from me, Joe. I thought that, with time, you’d trust me and tell me what it is … It’s the reason you won’t give Harry a chance, isn’t it?”

I don’t know how to explain to you that it’s possible not to have a mysterious, hidden boyfriend but also somehow not be interested in a second guy. 

“I’m telling you the truth, Tiff. Really,” I said nervously. 

She stared at me for a few seconds in silence. “Fine. If you want to be like that, be like that, then.” She looked hurt. “I thought you were my friend.”

I’m sorry, but I’m not on Tiff’s side here. She’s kind of being an asshole about the entire thing. 

“Come on, Gray. Don’t play coy now. We all saw you two that night, holding hands, dancing. You were all over each other. The whole school is talking about it. Let him have his prize!”

[...]

“Have you heard what people are saying about us all over school? Did you have anything to do with it?” I interrogated him.

Why the hell would Harry have to say anything? Joe even fucking remembered walking back to the party with Harry and they were holding hands! She said that “I know how it looks, but other people don’t understand Harry’s need for physical touch like his friends do” when it happened.

YOU DON’T GET TO BE FUCKING ANGRY THAT THERE’S A RUMOUR GOING AROUND WHEN YOU KNEW EXACTLY HOW IT WOULD LOOK!

“What’s this nonsense now? First I’m hooking up with Harry, now I have to go out with Seth. This day is getting really weird!”

Suddenly, a love triangle doesn’t seem so bad!

“Then he told me he’s going to ask you out today. On a date. So you see, we need to tell him.”

I don’t know how to explain to you that there’s this magic word that will get Joe out from a possible date with Seth. And that word is “no”. 

Joe rooming with a boy was a huge mistake. Her mum should have raised a bigger fuss. 

“Well, we’ve been talking a lot these days, and we both have been suspicious about you two. You are always acting really weird around each other, and all the silent glances and whispered conversations made us wonder something was up. So we come up with a plan,” she said, putting her arm around Seth’s shoulder. “Seth here was going to push on the ‘dating Joey’ thing. That would put a pressure on Tristan to tell him what’s going on between you two. If that failed, I was going to bring out the ‘best friend card’ with you, Joey. We expected you or Tristan would crack soon. And it worked!”

From their perspective, they still think that Tristan and Joe are half-siblings! I can’t even begin to imagine what must be going through their heads right now. 

That made all the difference in the world and my heart felt a whole lot lighter.

Chapter 22 summary: Joe is approached by one of Tiffany’s “cheerleader friends”, who loudly proclaims that Joe has to “cough up the name of the boy you hooked up with at the party”. That the prize is a week of physics homework done by so-and-so, who runs a homework scam business. However, Joe gets into the other girl’s face and tells her that if she hears anybody else making bets about hook-ups, she’s going to kick their ass. 

In first period, Joe then gets into a fight with Tiff when she refuses to tell Tiff what her huge secret actually is. Later, Joe is approached by an unknown girl, who is upset that Joe is taking the credit for having hooked up with Harry. I guess after he left Joe, he actually did hook up with her. Joe is frustrated that there’s now so many nasty rumours going around school about her… But half of them are her own making. She tells the girl the truth about all of them, but the girl’s take-away is that Harry likes her. Which Joe also didn’t say. 

Joe then spends the rest of the morning in the nurse’s office with a splitting headache. When lunch rolls around, she feels better, so she goes to meet Tristan, which they’d agreed to do previously. He tells her that Seth has been talking non-stop about asking her out, and that they have to tell him the truth. Joe agrees, but only on the condition that they also tell Tiff. 

So they gather Seth and Tiff in the bedroom, and explain that Tristan isn’t actually related to Joe. That it’s a lie they cooked up in order to get him enrolled in the school. So Seth and Tiff can’t tell anybody. Tiff and Seth then explain that they knew something was up, so they cooked up this plan to get the two of them to confess. Joe feels a lot better after having gotten that off her chest.