#this is embarassing guys

[kat1nkulta]

Hi i’m reaching soo hard but.

It’s not a 1-1 match, moreso about the habits? Nervous arm clutch, leaning forward when mad, clasping hands a lot, the smug side lean. Loop shares the most similarities with Siffrin, but I like to think they picked up some habits from the party too (after all they had a looong time to memorize those😁)

[feelo-fick]

um ok cool thanks for letting me know .... why are you telling me this

[ghostsandguns]

While some men might dread that time of the month with their partner, John is anything but that.

He can always tell when your period is approaching because, in the days leading up to it, you become extremely horny, almost like an animal in heat.

This is when his military training truly comes in handy, as John has to stay on high alert every second of the day, knowing you’re always ready to jump him.

Just yesterday, you caught him off guard during his workout session. He'd been laying on a weight bench, taking a break in between sets, when you sat down on his lap. Taking you less than a minute to get him hard and sink down onto his fat cock.

John had refused to move as a form of punishment, but that didn't matter because you were so on edge that it only took you a couple of thrusts before you reached your orgasm.

Afterwards, he had turned you over to smack your ass cheeks a few times until they were red and stinging.

You, however, hadn’t learned your lesson.

When John was in an online meeting with the squad, you quietly slipped into the room and crawled under his desk.

This led to your current situation, sitting between his legs and reaching for his zipper. When you hear him clear his throat as a subtle warning, you pause your movements for a second.

"You alright there, sir?" Kyle asks over the screen, putting whatever they were discussing on hold.

"Just an itchy throat"

You feel his hand resting on top of your head, slowly threading through your hair as you continue your antics and pull out his cock.

Simon's talking in the background sounds like white noise to you, as you can only focus on the target in front of you. The hormones in your system going haywire, as you almost start drooling at the sight of his hardening member.

You move in and give the head a small teasing lick, testing the waters. When John doesn't make any move to stop you, you take it as a sign to continue, giving it sloppy kisses to get him fully hard.

John is not small down there by any means, and you always see it as a challenge to try and swallow as much of him as you can.

The hairs at his groin tickle your face while you greedily suck him off, trying to be as quiet as possible. You can almost imagine him trying to keep his face calm, but the hand tightening in your hair says otherwise.

When you slip your hand into your panties, you silent thank yourself for wearing a skirt, granting easy access to your cunt. Swiping through your folds, you're not surprised to feel how wet you are.

Quickly gathering some of your slick on your fingers, you insert two fingers into yourself, thrusting at a steady pace.

It doesn't take long before you feel your orgasm approaching, accidentally letting his cock slip from your mouth when you release a high-pitched moan.

It isn't until a few moments later, when you've come to your senses again, that you realise the room has fallen silent.

"Sir, wis tha whit aye think it wis?" you hear Johnny mumble, before John suddenly pulls you out from under the desk and onto his lap. This new situation making your face turn red as you're now facing his squad members on the screen.

"This one can't seem to behave," John grumbles. "Have to punish her, am I right, boys?"

You see Simon, the traitor, give a firm nod in response to his question as you attempt to make a quick escape—only to have John pull down your underwear and spreading your legs.

"Ye gone an' done it noo, ye cheeky wee besom," Johnny chuckles.

With your pussy on full display, you try to look away, but John holds your face and whispers in your ear, "Don't look away from the camera, love. Or you'll get another spanking"

The faces of his subordinates turn serious as their eyes roam over your body. You're pretty sure you see Johnny move his hand towards his crotch, and you should be embarassed, but instead, you find yourself even more turned on.

John softly smacks your cunt a few times to grab your attention. "Please, John..." you softly moan, but he doesn't seem pleased with that response.

"Hmm? That’s not the proper way to address me, is it?"

You make a mental note to pull his ear later for the situation he's putting you in. Yet in this moment, your desire to get a good fucking wins, so you reluctantly give in.

"Please... Daddy"

That seems to do the trick, as he lets out a satisfied grunt, grabbing his cock and pumping it a few times before aligning it with your entrance.

He doesn't give you a warning before he pushes in and bottoms out. Your walls tight and clenching down on him, almost as if you're afraid he might run away.

At the beginning of your relationship, it had taken a lot of patience and practice to get used to his size.

Even though you and John have fucked many times before, you've never been able to get used to the sensation of being completely filled. You could get addicted to it, if you're not already.

You're pulled back to reality, as he gives a few slow thrusts before suddenly setting a brutal pace, fucking you hard. John makes sure you stay put, holding both of your arms to pull you down with each thrust.

You swear you can almost make out the shape of his cock from the bulge that's forming on your stomach. And by now, you're shamelessly moaning out loud as he pounds into you.

Catching a glimpse of the screen, you see the three men shamelessly jerking off, and the image of it sends you into a frenzy. Behind you, John is groaning whilst hitting that soft, raised spot in you that makes you see stars.

You're so lost in the pleasure that you don't even notice him putting his hand on your lower abdomen, until he starts pressing down. The pressure of his hand and the pounding into your g-spot make you feel like you need to pee.

''Ohmygod, ohmygod, John'' you gasp out, grabbing his arm. ''I can't hold it in—it's going to gush out, John!''

He ignores your pleas, not slowing down as you're unable to hold it in and start squirting all over his desk.

At the same time, Johnny's moans grow louder in the background, as he reaches his own orgasm ''Achh, just like tha lassie''

And it's the combination of both of your desperate noises that seem to set John off, thrusting a couple more times, before he stops moving.

His cock throbs and pulses as it fills you with his release until your cunt is overflowing—the semen leaking out and dripping down the sides of his member.

As you begin to lose consciousness, you think you faintly hear John speaking to his men ''You lads coming over for a second round?''

[warmsol]

being a storyteller is like, i’m a writer. i’m a director. i’m an editor. i’m a producer. i’m a cinematographer. i’m makeup and hair. i’m costume design. i’m set design. i’m tired

[piratefishmama]

we need more Rockstar Eddie braining himself trying to do a crowd surf and Paramedic Steve having to endure a very embarrassing drive to the hospital where said rockstar keeps asking him if heaven sent him.

[streco3y]

"Mister Pauling 👉👈"

[wienners]

"dude its not that embarassing to rewatch some creepypasta stuff you liked as a teenager" the character i imprinted on like a baby duck at 16 was a demon from new jersey that acts like the humanization of every offspring song and canonically listens to scissor sisters. His favorite color is purple and his favorite pokemon are gengar and haunter. His favorite candy is reeses cups. He leaves people notes with emojis on them. He acts like a beetlejuice scare actor at halloween horror nights. His catchphrase is "feeling sassy?" Hes (allegedly) worked with every war criminal throughout history and been every serial killer. even the gay ones. He ate a baby. His animal motif is a rabbit. Hes kind of based off the donnie darko rabbit. He almost exclusively wears merchandise of the quentin tarantino movie death proof. He talks to his cats in a baby voice. He wears a white fedora that makes every video he wears it in feel dated by like 7 years. Hes 5'3. Sometimes he barks like a dog. Hes from new jersey. He hacked a girls tumblr blog so he could post about how awesome he is. He added a laugh track over a video of him killing people. He named a chainsaw rex. He torments people by playing frank sinatra at them. His name comes from an animal collective song. His creator drew his "true form" as a giant buff wolf bug anthro. Theres a (semi)canon blog entry where he makes the speakers blare rob zombie before he enters a room, then holds a guy at gunpoint to describe what he did to to him while "making sure to leave in all the cool parts". The guy hes possessing has radioactive blood. He tried for 2 whole minutes to pick up a bottle of ketchup with a grabby hand. Hes kind of suicidal.He can be reasonably compared to pretty much every major tumblr sexyman. His actor has gone on record saying heath ledgers joker inspired his acting choices. His creators were too attached to him to permanently kill him at the end of the series. Sometimes his voice gets distorted and it makes him sound like bill ciphers first year on HRT. Hes basically like my artistic muse. For some fucking reason i associate the song cake by the ocean with him. I firmly believe that if everymanhybrid didn't require a masters degree in creepypasta autism to comprehend, he would've caused more teenage stabbings than the slenderman incident and more kin war tumblr scenarios than nagito komaeda.

[garlicboyart]

hello lupin community. longish time lurker first time caller. im loving it here

[demigods-posts]

okay but percy calling the minotaur 'ground beef' is so diabolical. because imagine being the well-known. undefeatable. half-bull half-man. seven foot tall monster. prancing around in your fanciest fruit of the loom tighty whities. and this twelve year old. with no objective experience in swordfighting. whose mom you just violently squished to death. calls you a feast for carnivores. the important part of a taco. the beef of the wellington. i would have gave up.

[lacucarachapisser]

morning bliss colin zabel x f! reader

warning : SMUT but mostly fluff. cringe. unprotected piv. slightly somno. dub-con. um boobs playing. quick nut. morning make out. a little ass spanking. lazy sex. a bit of cockwarming if you squint. lmk if im missing any im really bad at warning. 1.2k wc.

a/n : i’ve never written smut before so, i am so sorry if it doesn’t landed well. and apologies if there are too many grammatical mistakes english isn’t my first.

“for god’s sake, mare. it’s five in the morning.”

colin is on the phone. he complains while massaging his both temples by pressing the fingertips to the line of his eyebrows. you can hear his morning voice jumbled up with annoyance, though he managed to kept his voice down. he told you just last night how exhausted he was because work had been kicking him right in the ass over and over. working overtime, bringing it home, receiving calls in unusual hours, odd schedules, like hell they could stop.

“well… wouldn’t that be a perfect alibi? honestly it can wait,”

what is he talking about? he wakes up and sat at your shared bed, listening to mare’s voice over the phone. it is indeed still dark outside, you haven’t even feel the morning seep through the drapes. both of you slept back-to-back last night, and you still in your position, laying on your left side as your back facing him. there were time when you had to eavesdrop his phone call unintentionally.

you kept your eyes shut closed, pretending to sleep and didn’t bother to flip around because thus only makes him feel guilty— speaking from experience. he doesn’t want to wake you up early. so you stay still, breathing slowly like you always did when you’re asleep.

“give me 30 minutes okay? i need to—“

he stops and you bet that the other person on the phone is interrupting him.

“fine, 20 minutes. whatever.” the call ended in one click and a long exhales come out from colin’s mouth. “fuck me,”

you rarely catch colin saying cuss word in loathed way, and that makes you indeliberately flinch.

he throws his head back to the pillow, hand placing the phone back to the drawer and turns his head towards you. he had a hard time deciding whether he should get up from bed unnoticed or straightly wake you up because he running out of time. and deciding does running out his time.

he scoops your body, spooning you as his hand gently tracing along your waist and the other slipped beneath your underarm. oh does he misses you so much. it was irrational worry that dwelled within him every time he thought about the guilt. mainly because his jobs always interfering his time with you.

“baby..” he breathes in your hair, whispering and sounds extremely stressed, and needy? he hums, voices vibrate in your ears.

you didn’t say anything as you let him hold you from behind, chest pressed against your back. his muscular hand starts rubbing your tummy, up to your chest and squeezing your clothed boobs. and those act itself caught you off guard, which of course made your eyes arise in a wince. now you understand what colin have in mind. he was never a fan of a quick bite. he prefers having you hours, nice and intimate. but seems someone like to try something new to start the day.

“mmh…” your soul barely even there, despite the fact that you listen the whole time when he was on the phone.

he places soft kisses on your bare shoulder, up to your neck and to your jaw. he slightly get up with his elbow, hand still kneading your round breast, trying to get a better access to assault your tits.

as soon as your eyes turn to him, he quickly presses his lips on yours, busy adding some tongue, unbothered by the fact that you both have morning breath. perhaps since he aware of your mouth routine, you normally very much so strict with oral hygiene and you liked to force him to do so. skipping a coffee ritual and have a light bitter saliva to taste for each other wasn’t really that bad at all. and also, you love him anyway. gross? yeah love stinks.

his palm and digits playfully groping your tits, fingertips circle around the texture in the middle. those veiny hands always read your body like a bible, and yes he was greatly intrigued by the shape of your mind but also had a special fondness of your gorgeous chest.

“i promise it’ll be quick,” he turned you around so now you lay on your back, expeditiously spreading your four limbs, locking your arms above your head and found him already between your legs. he didn’t bother to remove your panties, he just brushes aside the fabric that covers your crotch and exposing your pussy.

like the quickest thief, the tip of his length already meet your fold, entering it deep just in case you can quickly adjust to his big hardened cock. he began to thrust you and adding some pace before start kissing and sucking on your collarbone. in between harsh breathing, you manage to speak, though your voice end up a bit squeaky. “what’s gotten into you..?”

his movement gets faster, abusing your throbbing cunt in belligerence way. was he mad at you? however when he looked at you in the eye, it somehow evoking a sense of benevolent yet miserable expression on his face. oh right… he just running out of his time.

with one deep thrust, he touched your most tender spot and you clenched him hard, a big wave of ecstasy start washing over you.

“c-col!”

he whimpered when the end of heavy orgasm hit and pushes himself deep in you for the last time, fill you up nice and full. “i’m sorry baby, i am so sorry. i need you so bad.”

he kisses you on the mouth and you reciprocate it with a lowkey soft smile draw on your face. you found it funny having him needy and thoughtless at the same time. oh your poor man. you hummed sluggishly, eyes closed as you try to recover from the feeling. he always put your first and perfectly fine if you say no. although seeing him being a little selfish like this was one of your top thing on your list.

“that was fast.” you whispered in between kisses.

“told you. i dont have much time,” he suddenly pull away and hide his face on your neck. “i hate my job,”

“no, you don’t,”

“yes i do hate my job,”

“don’t say that. you loved it.”

he peaks at your face and you give him your smile. “not as much as i love you,” he replies lazily.

“shut up,” those three sacred words is often popped up in every moment, somewhat you never expected at all. “how many minutes you have left now?”

“probably 13? 12?”

“do you think we can do another round?”

a sympathetic eye and frowned eyebrows shown on his face contour, lips curled into a ribbon of disappointment with melancholic wrinkles. a low grunt escape from his mouth and he probably think you’d get upset if he refuse. he was about to reply your question but instead you chuckle and wrapped your arm around his neck.

“i’m messing with you…” you poke his nose with your pointer “come on. let’s get up,”

he exhales and shakes his head “no. still too early for you, you go back to sleep.”

“don’t be silly. i need to change the sheets, come on.”

a soft laugh come out from his lips. he gives you last peck on your cheek before finally get out from the bed. you need to readjust your nightgown first before joining him.

“at least let me make you some coffee,” as you walk by passing him, heading to the door out, he smacked your ass and grinning in satisfaction. those makes you jolt but you honestly don’t give a damn. you used to colin’s habit.

“yes ma’am.” the smile on his face subsides slowly as soon as the sound of the clock catch his ears. only if he could just stop it because now he should be ready for duty might slap his ass at any time.

[crsssie]

please? - jaime reyes x reader (nsfw warning)

Jaime pants, one brow furrowed, sweat dripping down his hair as he cages you in, lips pressed to yours feverishly, whimpering. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he fucks you, sound of the bed creaking as he does. He's sure Khaji Da's mentioning his dopamine and endorphins levels are off the charts alongside his quickened heartbeat, but you're just so irresistible when you're whimpering his name like that. Besides, it's a great stress reliever and post-fight reward. Ugh. He pauses slightly, pushing his hair back as you exhale shakily.

"What? Tired already, mi amor?" You hum, lips quirked upward, expression changing as he thrusts into you again. 

"You're really chatty, mi vida." Jaime mumbles. "Maybe if you didn't look so good, I wouldn't stop to admire your beauty so often."

Jaime looks down as you clench on him from the compliment.

"You're such a womanizer, mi amor." You mumble. 

"Only you get to hear things like this." He hums, thumb finding your clit as he starts again, slower this time, holding you down as he forces you to feel every inch of you, eyes enamored as he watches himself disappear into you slowly, holding you down so you can't squirm.

"Jaime." You gasp. "Please."

"Please what, mi vida? You know you have to say it." He smiles cheekily.

"Harder? Please?" You try, voice coming out weak. 

"Of course." He presses a kiss to the corner of your eye. "All you had to do is ask."

and Jaime loves gently, a reminder that he was affectionate with you no matter the situation, skin pressed to yours, lips pressed to yours, fingers laced with yours— he was yours from the inside out.

[yellowocaballero]

Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)

Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.

Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.

Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.

But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?

Because he's Spider-Man.

Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.

That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.

That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.

Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.

I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.

Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.

TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.

[22bananapudding]

an observation

[sporkberries]

Local Archivist has beef with the most annoying group of Georgian era Gay men

[saphirdevil]

HSL ep 36-37 was wild.... it wa sso fun to play with friends

[chickdinner]

Reposting some old Scott Pilgrim fanart!!