#this is dumb but like genuinely why am i caring about the length of my nails here.

[hellohoihey]

I won’t wear make-up or pay extra attention to my hair in order to impress people, however I Will cut my nails a specific amount of days in advance of a dinner party with friends so that they’ll be the right length

[queer-reader-07]

few things bother me more than people saying that it’s “dumb” or “intentional ignoring” or “impossible” to have interpreted crowley and aziraphale’s relationship platonically.

and look i could go on about all the things that do point to romance but enough people have done that so i’m gonna defend myself here and explain why i read them as platonic for so long and why i think it’s perfectly reasonable to have read them platonically.

and a disclaimer that all of this is from my perspective and my opinion. so if i make a statement as though it’s matter of fact, know that i’m speaking from my perspective and just can’t be bothered to preface every sentence with “in my opinion…”

and it mostly boils down to one thing: their love reflected the love me and my friends have for each other.

so no shit i interpreted them platonically because they looked like my real life platonic relationships!!

i’ve talked at length about how i think there’s a specificity to the way queer people love. i think there’s something special about the way queer people show love, especially platonic love.

here’s the thing. i’ve been mistaken as my best friend of 16 years’ girlfriend more than once. i’ve been mistaken as one of my other best friend’s partner so many times her friends were genuinely shocked when she got a boyfriend because they thought she was dating me.

i understand the whole “being so platonically in love that people think you’re also fucking” situation. i unironically live that situation on the regular. so naturally i assumed that’s what was happening with aziraphale and crowley.

my thought process was basically this

1) they love like i love (specifically, crowley loves like i love). therefore, they’re platonically in love.

2) weird, everyone on the internet is convinced they’re dating. something something everyone values romantic love over platonic love

3) well whatever they’re still platonic in my heart

and it stayed like that quite literally until i watched episode 6 of season 2. and you can tell me i was being oblivious all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that i genuinely believed they were platonic. queer platonic? sure. but definitely not romantic.

i saw all the witty quips and banter between the two of them and didn’t read any sexual or romantic tension, i read friendship. i saw aziraphale damsel in distress-ing himself on the regular so crowley could save him and thought “well it’s the only way he can spend time with crowley. checks out”. and i saw the bandstand breakup and the burning bookshop and “you told my only friend to shut his mouth and die and i did. not. care. for it.” and aziraphale so desperately trying to shield crowley from the horrors of the world and obviously i saw love. a love that is deep and profound, yes. it just never read romantic to me because i would do and say all of those things for and to my friends.

one of the few things i will never cease to find joy in is my friendships. i will ALWAYS love loving the people close to me, i will ALWAYS support them, and most importantly, i ALWAYS want to protect them. even when i know what is going to happen is inevitable, i don’t want to see them hurt. i want to shield them from the cataclysmic experience of the human condition and only have to experience in the moments of joy that await them. i don’t want to see the people i love hurt or in pain or jaded by how fucked up the world is.

because i already am those things. i am jaded by the world, i’m constant falling into the pit of cynical despair that the state of the world can manage to throw you down. and i know how fucking hard it is to pull yourself out of that place, to find hope and move forward and allow yourself to even enjoy the love and support you do have in life.

and the last thing i ever want is for the people i love dearly to experience those things.

so yeah. i related hard fucking core to crowley and the way he loves aziraphale SO. FUCKING. DEEPLY. and of course i read it platonically because it’s platonic for me. so deeply platonic in the best way.

and i could go on about how a lot of this stems from how much i value platonic love. how much i don’t adhere to social norms of love and how people express love. i will loudly proclaim my love for my friends, because i love them. i’m in love with them. but that doesn’t mean i want to date them or kiss them. and that makes perfect sense to me, and if it doesn’t make sense to you. well then, idk what to tell you.

this is longer than i intended but my point is that it hurts seeing people who act like those of us who did genuinely read aziracrow as platonic the first go around are stupid or that we chose to ignore the romance.

because, to me at least, it always felt like people were calling the way i love stupid or that i’m actually ignoring my “real” feelings

[viperwhispered]

I don't know about you but I'm a huge fan of the "mage x tank" dynamic. Why? Because it can be combined with this!

Which is why I am here to declare that Jamil should have a buff s/o. And when I say buff, I mean strong enough to princess carry him and break the spine of anyone who dares harm him.

Picture Jamil, exhausted and overworked, being picked up like a potato sack and carried off the bed.

Of course this can't be a dumb himbo situation. Jamil aint really the type for airheads, not after years of trauma from Kalim. I mean someone who's crafty enough to keep Jamil on his toes and also strong enough to break bones. Best part being that the s/o is genuinely good person who prefers to talk things over only to go absolutely berserk when things involve Jamil.

The best part of this dynamic would be people assuming the s/o is more of a "pet" to Jamil than an equal. After all, they're calm, crafty, and tend to serve more as his conscience rather than go in guns blazing. That is until anyone dares become a legitimate threat to him. Then heads start rolling.

Oh imagine those poor innocent fools daring to insult the s/o, not realizing that Jamil is just as devoted and will pay them back 100 times. Either by poisoning, cursing, or manipulating them into ruining their lives.

GOD! Just this dynamic of both being extremely dangerous in very different ways but still equally as obsessed with each other is just *screams into pillow*

Brings me back to my OB!Jamil being a total malewife hot take. Picture this badass evil power couple being so mutually obsessed and in love with each other that they would bring an end to the world for one another.

Also the power trip Jamil gets cause this s/o could easily crush his head between their thighs and yet they still prefer bottoming.

Hasdfgh I first saw this just before going to bed and it gave me immediate brainworms (in a good way).

There's just so many juicy bits here. 

That post you linked? Yes, I've seen that before, and the way you describe this situation I could see it being applied both ways between these two (and both of them getting just as huffy about their partner being referred in such a manner while also yes absolutely ready to wreck havoc for each other)

Exhausted Jamil being picked up like a potato sack… Oh what an image. I love it. (Also the thought of him letting s/o do that without protest, either because he's too tired to even keep up appearances, or is willing to let them do that for him and be vulnerable himself…)

One of my “maybe I'll write this one day” fic thoughts involves a generally kind/patient reader getting all protectively angry over what Jamil's been gone through (it might or might not be a thinly veiled self-insert in disguise) and your ideas of the s/o losing their mind over threats to Jamil definitely resonate (am I the sort who always tries to see the best in people but is ready to fight anyone who hurts someone close to me? absolutely)

Evil power couple yes yes yes gimme (the corruption arc fully realized perhaps? Or just Jamil finding out just how far s/o is willing to for someone they care about (which probably would be a different kind of power trip for him - figuring out just what sort of lengths his s/o is willing to go to for him. He just might ascend being someone’s number one priority like that))

And that last line… Oh boy. There's so much to think about there and it's definitely not making me think of Jamil's head between my thighs not at all.

So basically yes to all this. Mind if I borrow that pillow for a moment?

Truly your mind with all these scenarios.

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

drop a Matt Engarde character analysis onto us

Anon I am always ready for a Matt engarde character analysis at five minutes to midnight

Ok here goes. there is so much to talk about with Matt Engarde.

The basis of Engarde’s character is his double personality. There’s a lot of ways to interpret this—as someone who is trying to learn but essentially does not know Japanese at all, I think I remember hearing that he refers to his two personas with different pronouns? Which is Fascinating. It’s easy to imagine there are mental health conditions at play here, but there are a lot of people on this site more qualified to talk about that than me (mentally ill guy who knows very little about mental illness) so I’ll leave it to them. The main thing I think is interesting about Engarde’s personas is the way that they relate to his two major roles, as a child actor and a murderer. These are the two main ways he thinks of himself. A dumb, charming kid, and an evil maniac.

For me, far and away the most fascinating and revealing line Engarde has in the whole game is when Pearl asks him why he would do “something so horrible,” and Engarde replies, “Because I’m a grownup, and I can.” There’s another moment where he talks to Pearl that way—“Let the grownups talk.” Engarde’s evil persona carries the infamous mysteriously appearing glass of alcohol, another symbol of adulthood. This is a pattern.

Engarde grew up as a child performer. That’s a role that involves a ton of responsibility and practically zero agency. It’s safe to say he led a powerless childhood, addicted to fame before he could even comprehend it, with a manager whose relationship with him was, in my opinion, questionable at best. The point of this is, there is a direct association inherent in Engarde’s personas: between his “innocent and stupid and beautiful” persona and the powerlessness of childhood; between his “evil ugly mastermind” persona and the agency of adulthood.

It’s easy to see that Engarde’s fame is a trap. Even though he’s a legal adult, he isn’t allowed to grow up because any act of independence, any show of adulthood, would compromise the image he’s built. He’s obsessed with it, all through the game. It seems at times like the only thing he cares about. We see the lengths to which he will go to protect it. We also see all of the ways that it restricts him. Adrian can’t be seen walking out of Engarde’s bedroom. It would compromise his image. Engarde can’t let the world see his scars. It would compromise his image.

The scars are fascinating too. Obviously, there’s the immediate “disgust-fear” reaction the game expects to elicit when they are first shown, which is pretty shitty. But there’s more to it. Engarde’s scars are likely (as many people have theorized) self inflicted, in an act of rage and maybe even self-hatred while wearing the Nickel Samurai costume. It’s not only that his audiences aren’t allowed to see his scars. Audiences aren’t allowed to see his anger, or his capacity for violence and harm. They aren’t allowed to believe him capable of it. Engarde associates anger, injury, freedom, flaws—in short, any sign of humanity—with the end of his career and the entire life he’s lived until then.

Obviously, an existence genuinely free of these things is simply not tenable. It is impossible for Engarde to truly live in his persona all of the time. But instead of allowing himself to relax behind closed doors—a feat that would likely be very near impossible for someone raised to play a part all of the time—Engarde constructs a new persona to fit the parts of himself he doesn’t like. He refers to this persona in the third person. He uses different pronouns. He essentially does everything possible to separate the two personas. In his mind, they are different people.

There’s an important thing I’m leaving out here. Arguably one of the most important aspects, when considering how exactly Engarde decided to make a whole new self that he had to hide from the world all the time. Celeste Inpax.

I’ve talked about this before. First, Matt Engarde did not cause Celeste’s suicide by telling Corrida about their past relationship. No matter how much the game suggests it as an appealing argument, it’s not. It’s ridiculous. However, I think that Engarde wholly and uncritically believes Celeste’s suicide was his fault. He and Adrian share this belief. They deal with it in different ways.

There’s more to talk about here—Adrian describes Matt’s relationship with Celeste by saying that he was using her. It’s not clear whether that idea comes from Adrian’s hatred of Matt or from Celeste herself. In any case, it’s…not impossible that that’s true, but definitely not the most likely conclusion to draw from the evidence at hand (an older woman with a ton of power over the younger man in her care, who later went on to have another romantic relationship with a young man in her care.) I feel confident in saying that child stars are nearly completely dependent on their managers. Matt certainly seems dependent on Adrian to a degree that goes beyond the persona. And we meet him at age 21. It’s easy to imagine that, when they were dating, Matt was completely reliant on Celeste.

Celeste is a complicated figure. She haunts the entire case. Engarde keeps her picture in his hideout, with a note saying, “Love, Celeste.” It’s likely he has been grieving her for a very long time—while feeling fully responsible for her death, and working closely with a manager who also believes him to be fully responsible for her death. That’s an insane situation! It’s likely that the “evil” persona came from that feeling of total self hatred. From the moment Celeste died, Engarde believed he was a killer, which was utterly incompatible with not only the way he saw himself, but also the person he knew he had to be. He had to make up a whole new person who would do those things, and would also be allowed to drink alcohol and be angry. And he had to put all his guilt and self hatred onto that person, the embodiment of all of his shame. And then he had to hide that person completely and make sure no one ever saw him. Engarde had to continue to seem “refreshing as a spring breeze”, in order to keep the career and the fame and the “love” of the audience that he got hooked on at a young age, that quickly became the only kind of love available to him.

(Side note: again, I do not know Japanese, but I would be interested to know how much of Engarde’s motto is a direct translation. The “spring” part to me suggests a childlike, ‘new and innocent’ aspect.)

Engarde’s relationship with Adrian is interesting to me. I am, like many others (check out jackedup180’s excellent engardeposting) fascinated by the detail in the musical production of this case, that Adrian is wearing Engarde’s jacket. Such a strange little incongruous thing. How exactly did that happen? Not only that, Engarde knows Adrian’s “secret”—in turn, she knows his. It seems obvious that their relationship is deeply codependent. I think it’s very possible that there is a kind of twisted affection there. Engarde is one of Adrian’s last links to Celeste, and vice versa. Adrian’s hatred of him allows her a mission, and a productive, righteous anger into which to funnel her grief. The two of them simultaneously understand each other deeply and thoroughly misunderstand each other—which is to say that both of them believe the other’s lie about themselves. Matt believes that Adrian is weak. Adrian believes that Matt is evil.

I have to get up early tomorrow morning so I’ll leave this here. I’m sure there are more details I haven’t thought of, but these are my essential thoughts about Matt Engarde as a character. He’s a fascinating guy!

[chancellorxofxtrash]

opinions on the Geats cast now and what are your hopes for the endgame.

I just think they are neat

I love trickster characters who occasionally even fool themselves with their own trickeries. Lies upon lies upon lies. Ace was lying to his fellow constentants, the DGP, his real family too probably, and to himself. He'd try to keep the others at arms' length and act flippant, but still fundamentally a good person. And he really is losing it - both with having let them get too close to him, and just everything unraveling around him. I love him so much. And he's still ready to do anything because all these lives of his, he went through so many things just to find her mother - and he'd do anything to get her back. Anything to free her.

Keiwa is... I understand a kids' show needs comic relief, but I'm just tired of it always being Keiwa, and always after he just seemed to hit some kind of treshold in his character development. But god, I love him. He's just a Good Boy. I love a Good Boy. I want him to break down and snap and and go on a rampage before calming down. He earned it. Pop off babyboy.

Neon is just such a good one, and probably my favourite female rider I had seen so far. The escapism, the depression, the identity issues inherent from finding out you were created for one reason, one reason you don't seem to fulfill anymore. Wanting to disappear. I love her so much and I wish I could hug her.

Michinaga. SIGH. My love for Michinaga is pretty well-documented at this point. I love vengeance-driven assholes. He will set himself on fire to make the world burn, and I love him so much for it. He's destructive and angry, and probably also lies to himself that he doesn't care about anyone else, there are no Kamen Riders, and even there are some vaguely Better(tm) ones, he is too far gone at this point. And still, he wasn't murdering them when he did his culling. I love him.

I love Tsumuri so much and I am so happy she is getting more focus and development now. I love her and I need her to be on my screen More.

Win is my babygirl and I love him dearly. He's just so fucking fun. I missed him so badly.

I miss Sae, and I wish she would have stuck around longer. She was neat.

I am one of the four people who enjoy Daichi's nonsense, lmao. He's so pathetic and horrible! He thinks he is in Death Note! He is so horrible! I love him dearly. It was also funny when he went through Lamentation with basically only chewing on popcorn to watch the drama and did nothing else. I wish he would have done more horrible things - well there is still time.

Sara is sweet. I don't have anything else to say about her. I hope she gets a Buckle, even if not on the show, then in a vcine or something.

Girori was a fun initial villain. Chirami was funny as fuck. Suel is amazing if he really is gonna be the final boss and I hope he NEVER stops being anything else but a floating outfit.

I love the disaster sponsor gang. I love Ziin and his mess. He's a total mess, but I love how he became steadfast, and didn't even turn his back on Ace even though Ace wants to destroy his beloved DGP. I love his character development. He is a disaster blue fox and I love him.

I love Kyuun. I love how he's a socially awkward mess, who always puts his foot into his mouth most the time, and struggling to be genuine. I miss him. Dumb lion boy.

I don't know why people are shocked about Kekera, lol. He looks like a yakuza, dresses like a yakuza, talks like a yakuza, why are people shocked when he started to act like a yakuza too? Of course he will do messy shit to put his blorbo into sitations! And I love him.

Once again I am one of the five people who actually love Beroba, and the vicious violent hatred against her in the tags is highkey making me uncomfortable. My horrible daughter who did everything wrong, and I hope she never gets redeemed. She's just such a delightful and fun villain. I love her so much. One day I will write a character study about her, I swear to god.

Niram sexy. I thought he might have more to do but I really love him, I love the air he gives off, I loved the few times he transformed and his fighting style. That's it. Bit bummed it seems like he won't be the final boss, but Suel will do fine. Niram can just stand there and look sexy.

Samas seems like a girlboss, but I don't know enough about her to really care.

Endgame...

The DGP has to burn. Mitsume will probably die, and the most Ace will get out of her was either a final powerup, or a hug, or both, and not much else. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd die before the end of the show either, with Suel forcing Tsumuri into her role.

(Can you imagine? Suel laughing about "want me too free your mother? sure!" and Mitsume's statue is falling apart, while Tsumuri is screaming and taking her place? It'd be so cruel and I could totally imagine it.)

I want all of them to have one more powerup. I want Keiwa to snap, go on a bit of a rampage, before circling back. I want Neon, Ace and Michinaga all realize they are... not alone anymore. They can lean on each other now.

I want them to henshin side by side, the four of them, for the final battle - just like the Doctor Riders went to face off Chronus at the end of Ex-Aid. Just like the four riders walked up to Evolt before the final fights of Build. I want them to be an united front for the first time, all of them reaching the conclusion that the DGP has to go. (Keiwa and Neon has a bit more development to go through before that, of course. But in the end.)

I wish we would see the four of them remember.

I want the four of them to remember, and being together in the end (well. you know. obviously not Together Together on my screen, but like, in each others' orbit).

I don't find it unlikely that they'd maybe. Forget. Because the story would end with a hard reset, erasing the DGP. I'm not sure if Ace would or not - I wouldn't be surprised if the show would be mean and let Ace be the only one who remembers. WHICH WOULD BE EVEN WORSE THAN BUILD. AT LEAST SENTO HAD BANJOU. AAAARGH.

I know vcines and other movies would fix it, but I AM STILL TERRIFIED OF IT. I would need to write so much about it.

Anyway I want them to fight together, the DGP to fuck back off into the future (Beroba maybe dragged back, to maybe, you know, be a vcine or special villain later on), and then possibly either being in each others' orbit in the end, or at least looking for each other.

I think it'd be funny if all of them would forget (Ace actually being granted the mercy of forgetting would be nice), and yet STILL would end up around each other. Drawn together. But that's definitely just wistful thinking from me.

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Okay I'm tangentially swinging back to this post-another video essay that's trying to claim that there's objective "you should never write this sort of thing EVER" stuff to fiction, and touting the importance of not getting "TOO" dark or "TOO" shocking because (you'd much rather appeal to as many people as possible rather than actually be true to what you genuinely want to create, right???) (because as we all know, nobody ever really wants to write dark content unless they're a perverted freak who shouldn't be trusted, or just doing it to shock you and make you miserable!!)

I really am so, so tired of the "no-no" concept with fiction. Just say something wound up not being your cup of tea or was a bit much for you and move on. Why does it have to be an Objective Crime And Flaw and a sign that the writer is morally bankrupt? Why does certain content have to be "if you read this, it will ROT YOUR SOUL!!!" (sir, YOU read it! Are you saying your soul is completely rotted??)

I'm just- I'm just tired, guys.

I wasn't THAT disturbed by the manga in question. Does that make me a bad person? If we were hanging out and I said that, would you start thinking of me as a threat? As someone you have to hold at arm's length? Even if we otherwise agree on a bunch of things, and you haven't actually seen me do anything harmful or threatening to anyone?

Reality = Fiction/there's a "limit" to how far fiction can go before it "clearly just says something about you" is the WORST rhetoric on the planet.

I've never been attracted to real life people or creatures, I've only experienced it towards fictional characters. Genuinely. There isn't a "oh, I guess 3D's nice from time to time too uwu" bone in my body.

I've watched/read/played and enjoyed things where horrible things happened to good people, and horrible people got away with an undeniable win.

I go out of my way to avoid stepping on the ants outside my house, despite the fact that it means the walk to the driveway is inconvenient af, because the idea I MIGHT kill them while they're literally just minding their own business makes me feel bad.

These are just examples off the top of my head. YMMV on what you might think about either one, I don't really care, I'm not making THE biggest point in the world, mostly because I can, quite obviously, say anything when I don't really have any physical proof of what I do or don't do, and I have no desire to acquire any. This isn't a "I'm the most holy, most knowledgeable being in the world" post, it's just...

Do people really genuinely radically change their view of another person, even if it's someone they've known for years, over whether or not they had "enough" of a specific kind of emotional reaction to a piece of fiction? I'm struggling to wrap my head around it... I have a friend who generally doesn't cry easy to fiction, but I don't go "wow! He must secretly be a heartless asshole!", I go "damn I wish that were me" (person who always cries at certain scenes, like Ash's temporary death in the first movie, or a specific other death scene from the Chobits anime, and has cried pretty hard while writing, multiple times)

Like

-vague hand gestures-

Does that all make sense??

argh

(As a disclaimer, the guy that inspired this didn't say All That and didn't really imply it either, though his take was still dumb/not-quite-informed and kind of dipping into those waters. This is primarily just a coagulation of Every Time I've heard people take the moral stance of "you can go TOO far in fiction")

Bit of a random post, but I think one of the worst things about having a brain (just in general) is how hard it is to keep yourself from orienting your expectations exclusively inside of your own experiences.

I think there's a lot to be said about people who build a very specific kind of hype up in their head, and will inevitably disappointed because the actual product was never going to align with their mental fanfiction, but

On a smaller and simpler note, my love for horror video essays is tempered by the fact it feels like 99% of the internet has a much more fragile stomach for the dark and disturbing than I do, and I can't even sit through a horror movie or play a horror game because I'm a goddamn coward-

(And the remaining 1% is into stuff that actually makes me squeamish in a way I can't quite handle, but they do seem to be living their best lives, and more power to them)

But generally my struggle is when someone builds up, like, a manga as "one of the most dark and disturbing things [they've] ever read", especially if it's a "no one should EVER read/watch/play this"/"I read/watch/played this horrible thing so YOU don't have to!", and then I go to experience it, and it's always

I've wrote/read/watched/played worse, and I am always expecting something "worse".

And sometimes it's just, you know, different things disturb different people; I don't find existential "we're just a tiny speck in the universe" stuff scary, but there's plenty of people that do, but I do find certain other things genuinely terrifying for how my brain will take the concept and try to be like "hey could you survive this? lol no you can't, you'd die dummy :) no escape", but those won't frighten other people as much (if at all)

But sometimes it's like

"Damn, if you tried to play/watch/read some of my top favorite non-horror things, you'd just crumble into dust, wouldn'tcha, bud?"

[sugrbugz]

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 ~ 𝙺𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘 𝚃𝚎𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚞 ♥︎

a business man kuroo x femboy!male reader concept!

TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS <3

ok females calm down i know everyone’s horny for kuroo, which is why i’ll be posting a female version of this too! i’m just a male who is indeed horny for kuroo soooo….i see u men

CW: heavy degradation..like HEAVY, oral, anal, pet play, bdsm, a little bit of somno (literally just touches your ass while ur sleeping that’s it), face fucking, dycraphilia, lotsa swearing hehe, hate fucking essentially.

was it his fault? not entirely. kuroo had been at the end of his rope before he even walked in the front door. having to deal with corporate executives who thought they were actually useful all day was a chore in itself.

kuroo loved his job, loved his company, loved the money even, but most importantly he loved you. he loved everything about you. he loved how you’d come running down the large staircase when he came home, ready to receive a plethora of hugs and kisses from you. you were the only part of today he was looking forward to.

so when he came home to an empty house, not one with the sounds of your music or your feet rushing down the hall to greet him. he was honestly disappointed. “baby?” he called out loud enough, looking around the main floor a bit before going upstairs. now the sight before him made his heart squeeze, you curled up in the blankets of the bed with your head buried into his pillow? he wanted to cry.

that’s when he noticed it, your clothes. kuroo is as bisexual as it gets, he’s quite literally the poster child. however, in your mlm relationship it was very apparent the type of boys he was into, femboys. with a slight gulp he pulled the blanket back just a bit, careful not to wake you. the large pink night shirt that cling to your body with the literal pair of panties nearly made him pass out.

“even when you’re sleeping you aim to please me..” he mumbled running his fingers down your back before cupping your ass cheek with one hand. no movement from you yet. you two had talks about kinks before, it wasn’t uncharted territory and sure enough he remembered what he was doing right now was okay, you’d given him consent multiple times to do it but even then he still wanted fresh consent. maybe you fell asleep because you weren’t feeling good or were having a bad day and needed to sleep it off.

he lightly shook you, “hun..” he whispered leaning down to kiss your cheek softly. smiling when you whined softly. “you okay babe..? anything wrong?” he asked softly. you opened one eye, making him smile wide. “mhm…’m okay” you mumbled sitting up slightly, your shirt falling off your shoulder slightly. “that’s good..now…i have a favour to ask, kitten”

after the petname you knew what that favour was going to be. “anything for you.” you smiled softly, shifting your position so you were sitting on your knees in front of him. you knew what came next and so did he.

“sucha good boy” he praised softly, hands finding the collar around your throat. “you didn’t take it off since last night? that’s cute..maybe i’ll get you something similar that you can wear in public?” he hummed.

you knew better than to speak unless he was genuinely asking you a question but you still gave him a gently nod to show your interest.

“what a good pet…to be completely honest with you, i’ve had a terrible fucking day. you know how i get when i’m not having a good day don’t you angel?” he asked, a hint of cockiness to his tone.

“i’ll be back. by the time i am you know what i expect to see.” with that he kissed your forehead and left the room. you didn’t want to test him today, sometimes you’d be a brat but today was not that day.

you quickly stripped down, clothes folded neatly placed on the side table so they were accessible for aftercare. your hands found your lap, pressing your hands in between your legs to hide the inevitable boned that came with him using you like he wanted to. surely he wouldn’t know if you gave yourself a little attention right? it was just so hard to stop yourself..it would feel too good.

snaking one hand down you grab onto your own length, gently stroking it. you shiver a bit at the feeling, both your cold hand and the sexiness of know that if you’re caught kuroo would make your life a living hell for a couple of hours, was thrilling.

when you and kuroo started getting into bdsm he put rules in place, ones that you needed to follow in the bed and even in regular life. one of the big ones? always ask your master permission to play. it was almost like you could hear him saying it back in your head, the guilt was starting to set in but it was just too late. right as you went to stop your movements, the door opened again, leaving you and kuroo in a very long intense gaze.

“well..what do we have here love? is my good boy breaking the rules?” he simply walked over, tossing the lube among other things he brought to the side chair near the bed. “n-no i didn’t do anything!” you whined in protest.

kuroo slowly leaned down, hand gently cupping your face, “i don’t fucking believe you.” he whispered before bringing the hand on your cheek back a bit to give it a smack then quickly taking the stinging skin back in his hand. “one thing i hate more than a whore who doesn’t fucking listen is a liar.” he spits.

he could quite literally get off on the shocked expression on your face currently, “now let’s try this again. did you break a rule?” he asked, eyes literally begging you to try and lie again. “yes master..” you sighed in defeat, you knew the punishment would be bad.

“do you know what happens to naughty boys that don’t listen and lie? do you kitten?” he let go of your face now, walking over to some of the things he brought up to the room. “they get punished” you replied quickly, not wanting to give him any other reason to punish you harder. “they do…you’re so smart baby..” he came back over, shoving you flat down on your back before using a flogger over your pretty pink tip.

“if only you weren’t a needy dumb slut.” he laughed striking again. you were left there to just wiggle and take it, whines and gasps leaving your mouth like a gospel. “i just wanted to come home and have a good time with my pretty kitty..and of course your stupid cock had to ruin it.” he sighed, peering down at you slightly just to see if you were still okay but judging by your face you loved it.

“i can’t wait any fucking more. get on your hands and knees, and you better arch that fucking back” he grumbled leaning over to grab the lube. this is how you knew kuroo was stressed or upset. even if he was punishing you he always took his time giving you what you wanted but now it was straight to the point.

“god look at that beautiful ass..too bad it’s attached to a cumdump like you, it’s going to be fucking tortured today i promise you that much boy.” he hissed giving it a rough slap. you flinch forward from the sting, a loud whine leaving your mouth. that only makes him do it again, harder this time. so hard it’s already formed a raised little imprint of his hand.

with every smack you jolt forward causing your cock to rut against the blankets, there was just so many sensations at once that you couldn’t help it when you came untouched, load seeping out onto the bed.

you’re fucked.

“did you just fucking cum?” he laughs loudly, one more extremely hard slap coming down, basking in the way you scream and whine about being sensitive. “you’re fucking pathetic. is that all you need? the bare fucking minimum?” he cussed at you. “you better fucking apologize” he grunts out.

“i-i’m so sorry! ‘m sorry master i-i didn’t mean too! it just feels soo good!” you practically sobbed, babbling like an idiot about how much you love him and that you’ll do better. he loved breaking you like this but he knew it was also emotionally taxing. “what do i always tell you baby?” his voice was a bit softer now, wiping a stray tear that did slip from your eye.

“t-this is just for fun..you don’t mean anything you say” you sniffled looking up at him with those cute little eyes of yours. “that’s right. good boy” he praised, “colour??” he asked immediately after. “green” you smile giving him a little thumbs up.

with your confirmation kuroo quickly grabbed you by the small amount of hair you had, pressing your face against the tent in his pants. “good..then it’s only fair i get to cum too yeah?” he smirked, stroking your hair gently.

“yes sir you do..i promise i’ll do good for you!” you ramble quickly, tiny hands working on his dress pants buttons. he watched you with hooded lids, just admiring how quickly you were trying to please him. “maybe your punishment will end if you’re good enough, but remember kitty it won’t be easy” he smirked knowing exactly what he was going to do.

you didn’t reply, just gave him a tiny nod. if you had to work for it then you would. you pull his cock out of his pants, kitten licking at the top a few times before licking a long strip from his balls all the way back up to the tip. to say you had a oral fixation, especially when it came to kuroos cock, was an understatement.

“that’s it…g-good boy-fuck” he praised, hands roughly gripping at your hair. holding you in place when you tried to take most of his length into your mouth, what didn’t fit your hands fumbled with. however kuroo was determined to make it fit.

kuroo roughly pulled your head down onto him, basking in the sound of you choking and gagging on his cock, “awh what’s the matter? bit off more than you can chew??” he smirked fucking your face with aggression, hips snapping up flush against your cheeks.

the tears that rolled down your cheeks made him unbelievably horny that he couldn’t stop himself, grunts and moans leaving him mouth while he used yours as a person fuck toy. you knew he was close when his perfect rhythm faltered a little and his grip on you was even tighter. to show him just how bad you wanted it, your hands found his balls, rolling and playing with them.

“goddd~you want this l-load so bad huh? hm? nggh! fuckk! you want it? yeah? fucking taking it stupid slut.” he sounded so unbelievably hot you can’t even help the bit of precum now leaking from your sensitive tip. soon after his statements you felt a warm sensation flooding down your throat, almost choking and coughing slightly since there was so much.

kuroo was still letting out loud moans of exctasy, ending with a soft hum he pulled his cock out of your mouth. the second you were freed you let out a gasp for air and a little bit of a cough but kuroo didn’t care. he grabbed your chin, opening your mouth with his other hand to make sure not even a drop of his cum went to waste. “good kitty..you took my cock so well…maybe you do need a reward?” he hummed, laughing deeply when you nodded quickly.

“face down ass up pretty boy.” he stated, having no problem jerking his still sensitive cock back up into a full erection. you did exactly as he asked before feeling a cold piece of metal against your back, you knew it well. the lead that attached to your collar. after it was clicked into place there were a few kisses up your back before you heard his raspy breath in your ear, “if you cum again without my permission this ass is going to be so fucking bruised and sore you won’t be sitting for months.” he whispered softly before biting the tip of your ear.

your breath caught in your throat but you nodded quickly, “yes sir..i’ll be so good i just really need to feel you..” you whine out, having to force your hips not to rut against the bed. “it’s cute when you’re so unbelievably pathetic for me” he smirked before gently rubbing the tip of his cock against your hole. “you’re clenching around nothing..so pretty..”

you choked out a tiny sob from just how needy you were, he always did this. he liked to break you down before even touching you, you loved it. “a stupid whore” he laughed loudly before giving you another harsh smack. with that he lubed his cock up, groaning a bit from how it felt.

with that he pushed inside, moaning when he bottomed out. he had this plan where he was going to make you cockwarm him for a bit just to tease you but the second he thought about all the stupid shit he had to deal with today? his hips snapped up and aggressively into you making you scream out but he wasn’t listening.

he was stuck in his own head, mentally cussing out everyone he worked with as he fucked all his anger out into his pretty kitty. “a-ah! da-mm! daaddyy!” you whine out nearly snapping him back to reality fully. “what? can’t handle it? is it too much for you?” he spat quickly, his pace not letting up. “everyone’s-nn-fuckin’ disappointing me today! i’m not taking it from you kitten.” he seethed, basking in the sound the bed made as it smacked off the wall.

“daddy! fuckk! ‘s soo goodd” he listened to the way you moaned out, his cock twitching so hard inside you that you could feel it. “yeah? you like it when i fuck your stupid boy pussy” he grinned knowing the way that made your heart skip a beat. “come on then, prove it. show me how much you love this fucking cock, stupid bitch” he smirked smacking your seriously irritated ass cheeks.

that sparked something inside of you, your hips throwing themselves back onto his cock. your moans so loud for him it sounded like screams. “p-please!” you managed to scream out between the loud babbling that left your mouth. “please what kitty?” he grunted, doing his best to focus on you and the squeezing your ass that was practically trying to milk him.

“plea-hhng! please c-cum daddy please!” you screamed, thank fuck he didn’t have neighbours. he smirked and shoved you down so your head was pressed again the mattress, holding your head there he let out a loud fucking moan before completely stilling. you could feel it shooting out in ropes, it felt so good that you came instantly and once again untouched.

“hmm that was cute~” he hummed almost immediately back to his normal self. “colour my love?” he asked gently rubbing your back, wondering if there was possibility to go again. “red” you murmur making him nod before slowly slipping out of you. “are you hurt? was it too much?” he pouted softly, gently rolling you onto your back to keep eye contact with you.

when you couldn’t reply he gently scooped you up and carried you into the bathroom, “it’s okay baby..kuroos got ya’”

[solomonish]

Dork Solomon Agenda

You say sexy shady sorcerer I say nerd and love of my life

Solomon is a sad lonely little man why just wants a genuine connection us that so much to ask???

No but seriously like. It's totally fine if you hc Solomon as this man-turned-lowkey-sex-god with a million succubi and more at his whim whenever he wants and would be a tough one to put the ol' ball and chain on like to each their own for sure! But that's not MY hc

(Thats not to say my hc means he doesn't ever engage in casual sex like that and wanting a genuine long term relationship at some point [or finding out thats what you want when you meet someone] are not mutually exclusive yknow)

So like Solomon isn't the type to be short with you or keep you at an arm's length (i mean...u get what I mean. Once you're close enough and all that jazz) or get annoyed by you wanting to be affectionate?? Hello??

He LOVES the little things you do (some on accident tbh). You feeling affectionate today and give him a kiss or three on his face before you leave to go to your separate classes? Adorable, he's fallen in love again. You do that thing where you like.. forget how to walk straight and just accidentally bump into him? No come back he likes being close to you :( He doesn't SAY these things but there's a light, airy laugh he has that gives him away.

If you're ever facetiming he will say "boo!" when you connect instead of just. Greeting you like a normal person.

His fuckin. His devilgram name is monSOLO. My mans is a star wars fan!!! I dont know any of The Discourse bc I'm not super into star wars myself but he has IN DEPTH opinions about the movies. Seriously rivals Levi in this aspect. Please make time for movie nights where you watch the movies together 🥺 especially if you haven't seen them before he'd love to convert you 🥺

Didn't Solomon also have a thing for TSL??? Or am I just imagining it??

I feel like his ideal date would be exploring something new, whether its this new spooky forest or "hey have we been down this alley before? Let's check it out!" but ideal date number TWO is movie night. Even if it isn't Star Wars. He likes to sit on opposite ends of the couch throwing popcorn into each other's mouths (and big candies like peanut m&ms where you both have almost choked before) and maybe a footsie war if he's feeling real devious. Then at some point you grab a blanket and snuggle up to him and you both fall asleep on the couch

Simeon yells at him when you leave because there's popcorn EVERYWHERE

LOVES when you laugh super loud. Idk man he just thinks its great when you have such unbridled joy and then he laughs too 😊 not as loud though he's more of a quiet chuckle kind of guy (most of the time).

Is friends with Asmo so is extremely great at slumber party gossip. Catch him in his pajamas, cross-legged on the floor while clutching a pillow to his chest and listening intently to you rant about the brothers.

"Come here I have a secret to tell you" (blows air in your ear) "okay okay I'm sorry but come here again" (blows air on your neck) "okay okay last time! I actually have something to tell you. Please? Its important...." (kisses ur cheek) "like u a lil bit xo"

Never the type to send "good morning beautiful" or "good night 💞" texts. Instead he'll send you something at 4 am like "the infinite cosmos will eventually swallow whole all familiarity and life as it is now presently known and despite the adaptations humans or demons or angels could make i will still have to adapt and face the world as an alien in the realm I love so dearly. Funny how the strongest of beings bow to the whim of space and time. But sometimes my eternal journey doesn't seem so daunting when I realize that with my everlasting life will be the memory of you no matter how distant and the survival of the vessel you loved...."

And then at lunch that day when the brothers pull you away he'll send you a picture of the lasagna they're serving with "this kinda looks like you? Don't worry I'd still hit it" and then two minutes later "you not the pasta"

Is the type to think randomly "oh damn I love you so much" but has an impressive filter about it. Or he thinks he does until Luke grumbles "ugh get a room thats the fifth time you've seen that since monday" ok, sometimes he has a good filter about it

He can't help it! Sometimes you just say something really smart (or something SPECTACULARLY dumb) or you do something cute like lean on him or smile a specific way or-

Sir.....you're head over heels sir :/

The type who would go to a playground at night with you and just swing on the swings talking about life

Wants to have a secret handshake with you!!

If you're ever on a road trip with just the two of you, you can get him to join in on the terrible singing but he'll be a lot quieter than you

Also will only join in if he isn't driving. If he is and you aren't talking, he's just humming underneath his breath. Will drum on the steering wheel though

Cooking

(Yes, it gets its own section because MAYBE I'm obsessed with the idea of MC teaching Solomon to cook and the food still turning out terrible but at least it isn't a void when MC is helping)

The type to flick water at you every time he washes his hands. Will chase you down just to do it.

"Hey, tilt your head back and open your mouth MC" (proceeds to dump too big a handful of shredded cheese in your mouth)

100% the type to lean over you just to hinder your cooking abilities. Who cares if the sauce splashes he's tiiiired.... you'd let belphie do it :(

Puts a hand on your lower back when he passes behind you. Hopes you'll lean into it/step back and offer him a kiss 🥺

Believes in always having a proper table setting. Prepare for whatever juice they have (or water) in wine glasses if you're having a nice-er meal

Under the assumption that a spell ruined his sense of taste (and not that he's just bad at cooking) he hates spicy food. He can feel the burn but he gets none of the flavor??? Wack. Don't hurt him like that MC. If you do because its hilarious to watch him try to be cool about it he will pout

Gets cheesy aprons. He just likes them.

Will hit you on the top of your head with a whisk to hear the noise it makes

Will buy every kitchen hack tool there is. A ketchup dispenser that looks like a gun? He's got it. A fish that helps you squeeze out the egg yolks? Yes! A dinosaur soup ladle? You bet! Pizza scissors? A tool that makes hard boiled eggs into cubes? Something that's gotta be like 200 years old and no discernable purpose? Absolutely! He wants a hot dog toaster. Do they even have hot dogs in the devildom?

Will sneak bites just because it bothers you

Overall

Look at him. He hasn't had friends in centuries. He's playful!

Look at his DEVILGRAM NAME

His funky little WAND

This is a man who is a huge nerd, thrives off of cliches and just wants to have a good time. So let him! Its mentally exhausting having those pretenses up all the time.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

it bothers me that most people respond to questions as though they are being interrogated and thus have to be immediately defensive. this happens in face-to-face interactions and in online text communication. the other day i asked my vet what the injections were that he was giving my cat, and he did tell me, but there was an air of “Why are you asking me? do you think i’m wrong?” no! i just feel like i should know what things are going in my cat’s body, you know?

this has made me realize how many questions people ask in bad faith. if someone asks me something like “hey if you’re non-binary then why do you go by she/her?” there’s like a 33% chance that they’re asking because they are genuinely curious and trying to learn something about the world or themselves, and a 33% chance they’re asking in order to pick apart whatever i say in response and show how “dumb” non-binary people are, and a 33% chance that they’re asking because they want me to go on the defensive and assume they’re asking in bad faith so that they can see me melt down.

unless the question is very obviously in bad faith, i almost always assume the first option, because i have been on the other side so often. when i ask “how long will this event be?” others always hear me saying “i need to know exactly how long i should be miserable and i am hoping for you to say that it will be a very short event.” but none of that is what i am asking! i just like to know. so i spend all this effort whenever i ask questions to make sure that there is no ambiguity as to why i’m asking and it ends up like “hey! just wondering if you knew how long this event will be? it’s totally fine if it’s gonna be long or short or whatever, i can do any length of time, i’m just planning out my day! thanks so much!” but like??? that’s so much effort! and a lot of people barely register the extra tone notes i add and they still hear me saying “aaah this is gonna take forever i don’t wanna go!” but i’m not going to stop because

the thing is that i LOVE questions. i love to ask things and discuss things. i love answers! i like to Know stuff. information is my love language but unfortunately for me a lot of other ppl translate it to mean the exact opposite. when i ask a question, the instinct comes from me being like either “i am curious about the world and your thoughts on it, because i care about you and your opinion matters to me,” or “having this information will make me feel more comfortable. can you please help me feel more comfortable?” i very rarely ask “gotcha!” questions (at least not in any way that could be taken seriously) i just like to Know things :(

(side note my family has been going to that vet since before i was born and he’s really more like part of the family so it felt more like that kind of interaction; i don’t think he would have responded that way to a client he didn’t know as well. so no hate for my weird avuncular vet lol)

[saberstars]

I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

[bqstqnbruin]

Always be my plus one - part 3

Ok, look, it's 4 am, there are going to be typos, and we're just going to have to deal with it. I also tried to find a gif that was Tyson and Cale but I couldn't find one in the gif insert thing on here so I just went with this one (it feels weird to change it up but like, oops)

I make no promises that you aren't going to be mad at me for this part so have fun !

This is shorter than the last part, coming in at around 5k words.

The only warnings I have here are implied sex.

Translations for the Italian in here: "tu sei uno stronzo" - you're an ass(hole)

stronzino - little asshole

Also want to thank @justjosty @zinka8 @hockeylvr59 @hockeywocs anons and I'm sure I'm forgetting people for helping me write this part but ily all I'm just dumb and tired

Read the previous part here!

Series masterlist

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Valentine’s Day

The Feast Day of St. Valentine is traditionally celebrated in the Western Catholic Church on February 14, to honor the patron saint of love. Though not traditionally celebrated as a Catholic holiday, millions of people celebrate the day of love with those who mean the most to them. While pessimists of the day say it’s a ‘holiday made up by greeting card companies,’ approximately 190 million Valentine’s Day cards are sent in the United States alone, not including cards given by school children to their classmates. Couples enjoy the holiday with a romantic night out, presents, flowers, chocolates, etc., while those who don’t have someone or don’t care do whatever they want without the pressure of living up to a holiday that doesn’t mean very much in the grand scheme of things.

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February 12, 2022

“Where are you going tonight?” Matthew’s voice came through his younger sister’s phone. He had called early in the week to see if Anne could babysit Harper so he and Stephanie could do something for Valentine’s Day without having to shell out an extravagant amount of money on a sitter.

“I’m, uh,” Anne hesitates, “going out with Tyson. Sorry.” She hears Matthew let out a sigh on the other end. “Hey, stronzo, why don’t you ask Lucy? Her and Jason never do anything on Valentine’s Day.”

Matthew starts talking about how the last time he asked Lucy last minute to watch his daughter, despite their girls being best friends, she ended up going on a fifteen-minute rant. While Anne gets her heels on, staring at herself in the mirror and admiring the floor-length, red dress she had on the slit going up the side for no one but herself, Matthew continues to tell her about how his twin goes on and on about needing a schedule at all times, how she can’t just drop everything in a moment’s notice because he wants to do something with his wife.

“Hey, Matthew,” she cuts him off, trying to shrug her coat on, “Why didn’t you ask Lucy or Sebby after I said no earlier this week?”

“Because I didn’t think you actually had plans.”

“Again, tu sei uno stronzo.”

“I am not an ass!” he detests.

“Fine, you’re a stronzino, happy?” Anne hears him stammer again, not letting him get a word in, “I have to go, I’ll talk to you later, ok? Ask Ma, Dad’s off in Florida right now so she would probably love to have Harper for the night.”

He lets out another sigh, Stephanie’s voice coming through in the background despite Anne’s inability to understand what she was saying. “Fine. Have fun with Tyson. I don’t need another niece or nephew around Halloween, though, ok?”

“Don’t be gross,” she says, hanging up and finally heading out the door.

Her cousin Adriana was getting married to her soon-to-be wife, Izzy. Her family had no idea that she was the only one who still talked to them, her mother having a fight with her brother after their parents died when Anne and her siblings were younger and vowing to never talk to him again. So far, the stubbornness that seems to run through her mom’s blood going strong since it had been over a decade since she had last seen her brother. Anne was invited to Uncle Frankie’s daughter’s wedding, but no one else in her family.

Adriana and Izzy had this Valentine’s Day-themed wedding, everyone asked to wear red or pink in theme with the holiday, Anne not doubting that there would be paper hearts and cut-out cupids as the decor. The wedding gift she bought them, one of the first things she found on their registry that Anne could afford, was shipped to the apartment they already shared two weeks ago, Anne just needing to remember the card.

She was fully prepared to just sit in the corner with a bunch of people she didn’t know and watch as her cousin got married to the love of her life. Anne wasn’t sure that that side of her family would recognize her after how many years, guaranteeing her to spend her time on the sideline.

Anne slips into the back of the church, seeing no one she knew or recognized to even go up to and sit with them. Everyone was dressed in red, pink, and black. A bit too much for her own taste, but at least she looked good in red and would have worn the color anyway. ‘Note to self, no themed weddings,’ Anne thinks, not particularly fond of the lack of color or real choice that everyone had in figuring out what to wear.

A blonde boy in a red suit walks by her, too far past her to get a good look at him. There was something about him that caught her attention. Anne knew that walk, but she had no idea where she knew it from. It didn’t stop her from admiring him from afar, though, the short blonde hair and the obviously fit physique under the suit captivated her for whatever reason, leaving her practically unable to pay attention to the ceremony in front of her. Not that she cared, at this point she was just there to enjoy the free food she knew would be good at the reception later.

Anne sat at the table against the wall, her cousin not bothering to make a seating chart and just leaving it up to the guests to sit where they pleased. That meant she didn’t have to talk to anyone she didn’t want to, being virtually left alone at a wedding where she knew no one.

“Anne?” a familiar voice snaps her out of the trance she fell into watching Ana’s sister and brother-in-law, Catie and Danny dancing with their two daughters, remembering seeing their pictures on Facebook when they were born, not realizing how much they had grown.

She turns to the man in the red suit who had her attention throughout the ceremony. “Cale?” she smiles at him, not sure how the two had missed they would be at the same wedding this weekend. Since New Year's Eve, the two of them had been texting, calling, FaceTiming, they had hung out, spent the night with each other, Cale insisting he buy her dinner at least once a week. The only reason they weren’t dating each other was because neither of them had said they were. They both said they were busy this weekend, but who would have thought they would end up at the same place. “What are you doing here?”

“Izzy’s brother and I grew up playing hockey together. I grew up with her. What are you doing?” he asks her, taking the seat next to her.

“Ana’s my cousin. Her dad is my mom’s older brother.”

Cale smiles at her, Anne’s heart racing at the sight of it. “So I get to meet your family?”

Anne shakes her head. “I’m the only one here,” she tells him, explaining the family drama that went on between Frankie and Teresa.

Cale looks down at his lap, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his suit jacket. The red bowtie, red pants, red jacket even against the black shirt were so much Anne couldn’t tell if his cheeks were red because of the reflection of his clothes or for another reason. “Tyson’s met your family, hasn’t he?”

She nods, taking his hand in hers. “I told you, Tyson and I are just friends. I needed someone to come with me to a family thing, so he came with me.” Cale nods, not entirely sure that something wasn’t up with her and Tyson. Something was off, there was something he was sure Anne was leaving out, but he wasn’t sure. “Hey, I’ve seen Tyson, what, three times since New Year's? All of them when I was with you. I like you, Cale.”

Cale leans over for a kiss, his hand grazing Anne’s thigh, sending a shiver down her spine. “How about we dance like we did on New Year's?” he asks, standing from the seat, shrugging off the red jacket before he extended his hand out to her.

She rolls her eyes, getting up with him anyway. “I told you then, too, that I don’t like dancing.”

“And yet,” he says, pulling her close, his hand finding the small of her back while he presses his forehead against hers, gazing into her eyes, “you danced with me all night then, and you got up to dance with me tonight.”

Anne laughs, knowing he was right, burying her face in his shoulder, swearing she heard some camera’s clicking, probably the wedding photographer hanging around somewhere and taking pictures of the guests dancing.

“I know I have to say this about the brides when they come in,” Cale whispers in her ear, “but you are the most beautiful girl here.”

Anne could feel herself blushing, her mind flashing back to New Year’s Eve when Tyson told her she looked beautiful. He seemed so genuine saying it, Anne thinking back and not sure if he meant it or was actually pretending. But with Cale, she knew. Cale meant it. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she tells him, ghosting his lips before kissing him.

Being with Cale felt fine. Not perfect, but fine. It was right, but not correct, and Anne couldn’t figure out why.

Everyone starts clearing off the dance floor, the bridal party getting ready to come in. Cale takes Anne’s hand and leads her back to the table where he left his jacket, some other people finding their home base at the same table. Cale knew one of the men at the table, probably from their little hockey group that involved Izzy’s brother. The bridesmaids and bridesmen, as the DJ put it, started coming in, Cale leaning back with his arm slung around the back of Anne’s chair. She leaned back into him, his fingertips dancing up and down her arm as they watched everyone come in.

They watched Ana and Izzy dance their first one as wives, Anne’s stomach starting to make noise as they waited for the food to come.

Cale leans over, nervous about what he was about to whisper in her ear. “Are you hungry for food or maybe something more?”

Anne felt her entire body go numb at his words. They had been seeing each other for a month and a half already, so was what he was insinuating really that strange of an idea? “That depends.”

“On?” he asks, nibbling on her ear before kissing the skin right behind it, losing any sense of care over who at their table was potentially watching.

“On how long you think we need to wait before we can slip out without it being rude?”

Cale inhaled sharply, wishing he could say right now. “At least until they cut the cake. Unless,” he says, his hand moving up her thigh, slowly in case she decided she wanted it to stop, “Unless you wanted to try to find somewhere to sneak away to now.”

“Not for our first time,” she tells him, reaching up to cup his cheek. “And not with my family around,” she laughs.

“I’m fine with that,” he tells her, kissing her. “Your place or mine, though?”

“Well, I drove myself here.”

“And I got a ride.”

Anne smiles, crossing her legs in hopes that whatever she felt would be stifled by that simple action. “So it looks like it’s going to be mine.”

They spent the rest of the night waiting for the moment the cake was cut so they could leave as planned, Cale’s hand never leaving her leg unless he really needed both hands to do something.

Anne could feel her heart racing as she watched Ana and Izzy smash their cake in each other’s face, Anne looking over to Cale and smiling. “You wanna go?” she asks, her keys already out of her bag and in her hand.

Cale drags her out without saying a word, Anne leading him to her car. He walks over to the driver’s side, his arms wrapped around her waist with her back pressed against her car. “You’re sure about this?” he asks her, his eyes flicking between hers and her lips.

“Yeah,” she says, kissing him before he opens the door for her. She couldn’t wait to get home, sure she broke a few traffic laws as she sped back to her apartment with Cale sitting next to her in the passenger seat, his leg shaking the entire time.

They got to the elevator, Cale leaning against her against the wall with his lips pressed against hers, Anne’s hands already working to unbutton his shirt. Cale’s kisses trailed down her jaw to her collarbone, his grip tightening on her waist.

Anne pulled away to lead him down the hallway, practically running, partially due to anticipation for what they were about to do, and because Anne could feel a breeze on her back, indicating that Cale had already unzipped her dress. That, coupled with the fact that Cale’s shirt was already open, his jacket in his free hand, Anne had no desire for any of her neighbors to be given the chance to see her and however Cale was to her already getting naked before closing the door.

As soon as she unlocked her door, Cale had her turned back around, kicking the door closed as he carried her to her bedroom, Anne able to feel everything about him against her body. Cale laid her down on her bed, his lips never leaving hers as he positioned himself over her, sliding her dress off while she did the same with his shirt. Anne’s breath hitched at the sight of him, his body perfect while he stared her down, the first time she saw the typically innocent boy she had been seeing with a mischievous grin covering his face, his eyes darkening at the thought of doing what they had both been wanting to do all night.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks one more time.

Anne nods, taking his face in her hands. “Yes, Cale. I’m sure.”

=============

February 13, 2022

Anne woke up the next morning, the events of the night before rushing back despite finding the space he had occupied in her bed empty. Her dress was on the floor, Cale’s red bowtie somehow having ended up on her night stand. Maybe he left it there as an excuse to see her again, making a mental note to put it in the living room so she would remember it the next time she saw him.

He had slipped out at some point that morning, Anne playing the voicemail that he left her while she slipped on a t-shirt to cover herself. “Hey, Anne. Sorry, I couldn’t stay, but morning skate was calling. I,” she hears him sigh, knowing he had a stupid grin on his face for whatever it was he was about to say, “I can’t wait to have another night like last night with you.”

It was her turn to have the stupid smile on her face as Cale continues, “Um, anyway, I’ve got something going on with JT and some of the other guys tomorrow for Valentine’s Day, a, uh, charity thing? I think? So would you be free this weekend for a proper date for the holiday? You know, not as crowded, not as much pressure, ideally the same outcome, if you’ll allow it? Oh, hey Tyson,” she hears him say, figuring that he was calling her on the way into the rink despite her being unable to hear Tyson. “Yeah, I’m planning Valentine’s Day with Anne. No, not tomorrow night, this weekend. Uh, Anne, I’ve gotta go, but let me know about, say, Friday night? Alright, talk to you later. Bye.”

Valentine’s Day date with Cale? Part two, more like, but still. Anne liked the sound of that.

“So, uh,” Tyson starts, already dreading what he was about to hear from his teammate given what he had heard him say into his phone. “You and Anne?”

“Yeah,” Cale breathes out, chuckling at the thought of what happened last night. “We, um,” Cale couldn’t even get a full sentence out, acting like a child who just got the toy he had been begging his parents for on Christmas morning. He couldn’t remember the last time he was that happy. “We spent the night together last night. I left from her place this morning.”

More of their teammates were filtering into the locker room, looking at Cale’s face turn bright red while Tyson stood there with him looking like he just about wanted to die. “Ok, but did you spend the night, or spend the night?” Ryan asks.

Cale started to stammer out nonsense, not really wanting to divulge the private details of his and Anne’s night despite the guys teasing him and congratulating him for what he wasn’t saying.

“Guys, keep it civil. Anne wouldn’t want us talking about any of this,” Tyson pipes in, Cale letting out a sigh of relief as the guys disperse to get ready for morning skate.

“Thanks,” Cale tells him, going off on his own to get his gear on.

JT appears by Tyson’s side, a stupid smirk on his face. “Would Anne not want us talking about anything, or would you not want us talking about anything?”

“Well, Anne definitely wouldn’t.”

“Oh, come on, we both know Cale would never.”

“Doesn’t mean I want him to have the chance.”

“You’re treading in deep water, dude,” JT sighs.

Tyson looks at him, hating that he knew what he meant. He had barely seen Anne, despite her brother’s texts from the night before asking if Anne really couldn’t watch Harper because of the two of them going out, Tyson going along with the lie just in case. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“It seems like you don’t know what you want from Anne, either,” JT shrugs. “But Cale does, and he got it.”

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February 14, 2022

12 hour shifts were the only shifts Anne knew. And they were the shifts that Anne detested the most. She was fine the first ten hours, but the last two always seemed to suck more than anything, leaving her exhausted for the rest of the day, into the night, depending on when she got home in the first place.

All she wanted to do was order dinner from the Thai place down the street, having it delivered despite her really not needing to since it was within walking distance, plop herself on her couch and watch whatever reality TV Lucy had texted her that she thought Anne would like. Anne knew she would turn it off after a single episode and switch to Food Network, but at least she could tell her sister she tried.

Anne walks to her apartment, dragging her feet to her door when she sees someone sitting on the ground, his head down looking at his phone. “Tyson?”

He gets up, grabbing the two bags he had with him as the smell of food filled her nose. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my fake girlfriend,” he says, raising the bags while Anne opens the door to let him in.

“I’m confused,” she tells him as he sets everything down.

“Well, Matthew called me on Saturday asking if the two of us were sure we couldn’t watch his daughter, and I figured he might as well have some sort of photographic evidence as proof of us spending Valentine’s Day together,” Tyson explains. “So, I figured I’d go all out: flowers, dinner, and a present. You know, really convince them that we’re together.”

Anne stares at him for a second, not sure why her heart was racing at the thought of him going out of his way to keep up this facade with her family. “I don’t think I like that you and Matthew are so ‘buddy-buddy.’ Or that fact that he didn’t believe me the first two times I told him I was busy on Saturday night. And I thought that you guys had a charity thing tonight?”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Tyson asks, handing her the container of food as she joined him on the couch, the Thai food she was planning on ordering right in front of her. “We have a groupchat. Yeah, it’s me, Sebby, Lucy, and Matthew.”

Anne scoffs, rolling her eyes at his failed attempt at a joke. “And let me guess: you gossip about me the entire time.”

“Actually,” he says, his mouth full of food, “you never come up. They think of me as the fourth sibling. The name Anne means nothing.”

Anne laughs, Tyson admiring the way her eyes closed as her smile grew. God, he wished he had gotten to her before Cale did. Why did he have to leave her alone at all on New Year’s Eve? If he were by her side the entire night like he had wanted to be, then he wouldn’t have to pretend to be her boyfriend, he could actually be getting somewhere with her.

“Hm,” Anne hums, swallowing her mouthful of food. “You said flowers and a present. When do I get those?”

“You can get them now on the condition that I can take a video to send to your siblings,” he offers, pulling out his phone and pushing the bag with the flowers and gift behind him. Anne rolls her eyes, smiling and nodding while he starts the video. He hands her the card first. “Read it.”

Anne pulls it out of the envelope, glitter getting everywhere and making her cringe, knowing that it would be impossible to get off her scrubs later on. It was covered with roses and hearts, bringing her right back to the wedding that weekend. “No one has ever made me feel like this. To the woman I love: Happy Valentine’s Day,” Anne reads, feeling a lump forming in her throat. The card was so corny, a little too corny for her taste, but coming from Tyson, she didn’t know why she loved it. She shakes her head, laughing at Tyson. “I love you, too,” she lies.

Tyson swallows hard at her words, wishing she meant them, pulling out the flowers from the bag and handing them to her. She looks down at the flowers, trying to figure out what they are before looking up at him. “Queen Anne’s Lace?”

“Queen Anne’s Lace for my Queen, Anne,” he tells her, cringing at his own words.

Anne giggles, placing them in her lap. “And my favorite flowers, anyway. Thank you, Tyson.”

“Wait, I have one more thing,” he says, hoping that the camera wasn’t shaking too much while he reached for the gift he bought her.

He hands it to her, a small red box wrapped with a gold bow. She unties it carefully, opening the box and gasping at the sight of it. A golden necklace with a white enamel heart as the charm, a golden pattern outlining the heart. “Tyson, it’s,” she starts, unable to find the words, “it’s beautiful.”

He stops the recording, figuring he had enough to hit send to his ‘girlfriend's' siblings. “Let me put it on you,” he says, Anne turning around and moving her hair out of the way. “I thought you would like it.”

Anne studies his face, the smile plastered on it despite her knowing that he didn’t mean it. “You didn’t have to do this.”

He shrugs, grabbing his food off the table and staring at it now in his lap. “It was fun. I’ve never had a girlfriend who I could buy presents like this for. I mean, I still don’t, but I have you.”

“Oh, come on. You, Tyson Jost, have never had a girlfriend? Look at you,” she says, praying that she was careful with the words she chose. “You’re gorgeous, you’re sweet, you’re funny, you get along with everyone you meet.”

Tyson hated hearing Anne go on about him, knowing that she was just saying it as a friend instead of something more. He scoffs, trying to save face from whatever pain or other emotion he was feeling. “Come on,” he says, not believing her anyway.

“I’m serious!” she insists, reaching up and starting to fidget with her new necklace. “Any girl would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend. I’m lucky to even have you as a fake boyfriend.”

Tyson nods, turning his body to face the TV instead of Anne. “So what are we watching?” he asks, changing the subject and putting his feet up on the table, Anne doing the same.

“Whatever’s on Food Network?” she suggests, holding the remote in the air pointed at the TV.

The two of them settle in, Tyson not paying attention to the show she had turned on. “Hey, what’s that?” Tyson asks, racing over to the red fabric that was on Anne’s coffee table.

“Oh,” Anne blushes, taking it from Tyson. “This is Cale’s. He, um, let it the other night,” she explains, Tyson watching her turn his teammates bowtie over in her hands.

“So you and Cale are doing pretty well?” he asks. Anne looks at him, not sure if she really wanted to tell him about it. “Come on, we’re friends. You can talk to me about anything.”

“I mean,” she says, putting down the bowtie on the table, not taking her eyes off of it. “We’re together? I think?” Tyson already hated that he even offered to listen to her talk about her and his teammate. “I like him. A lot. And I know he likes me, but,” Anne lets out a sigh, not sure where to even take her sentence.

“But, what?” Tyson asks.

“I don’t know,” she shakes her head, looking confused. “Everything is great, but it’s, I,” she stammers. “Something is off, and I can’t figure out what.”

Tyson stares at her for a second, trying to figure out what to say. “It’s probably just that it’s new,” he shrugs. “Everything seems weird when you’re still figuring it out. You and Cale will be ok,” he tells her, hating hearing those words come out of his mouth.

=============

February 19, 2022

Anne stared at herself in the mirror, the black turtleneck she borrowed from her sister coupled with a beige skirt and black tights on her as she got ready for her date with Cale. He was bound to show up any minute, promising each other they weren’t going to do gifts due to a general lack of time on both ends. She didn’t believe that he wasn’t going to get her a gift, however, sneaking out to the bakery down the street and buying some pastries that the two of them would like, giving them an excuse to both show up back at her apartment. And if he didn’t give her a gift, then she got the pastries all to herself.

If not, she could share them with Tyson, who had been showing up at her place or asking her to go to his place any free chance they both had.

She heard Cale knocking at her door, Anne rushing as fast as she could in her heels to answer. Cale was standing there, a black crewneck similar to her own turtleneck, paired with dark jeans, black boots, and a grey coat. Cale kisses her hello, one hand behind his back with the other resting on her hip. “Every time I see you I don’t think you could get more beautiful, and yet, you do.”

“You’re cheesy,” she jokes as he kisses her forehead, Cale laughing against her skin. “But you,” Anne says, resting her hands on his chest, “get more handsome every time I see you, too. And, you’re hiding a present behind your back, aren’t you, even though we said no presents.”

Cale laughs, closing the door behind him. “Maybe I saw this and had to get it for you,” he admits, kissing her again and holding up the bag near her head.

“Should I open it now or should I do it later when we come back here?” she flirts, holding the bag in her hand.

“Oh, we’re coming back here?” he teases her, trailing kisses down her neck.

“I might have gotten some dessert for us so we had an excuse to relive last Saturday. Plus, you left your bowtie here,” she gestures to it, still sitting on her table, “And I was thinking maybe you wear that tonight instead of keeping it off?”

Cale raises his eyebrow at her, a silly smile on his face. “And what else would I be wearing?”

Anne shrugs, pretending to act innocent. “I was thinking only the bowtie,” she tells him, feeling his grip around her tighten at the thought.

Cale kisses her again, unable to keep his hands off the girl in front of him. If he could, he would forget dinner altogether and just go straight to dessert, but he knew Anne wasn’t that kind of girl, and he wasn’t about to force her into anything she didn’t want. “Hey, I like that necklace you’re wearing,” he says, twirling the charm around in his fingers. “The heart is perfect for Valentine’s Day.”

She reaches up and takes his hand in hers. “Thanks. My sister got it for me a few years ago for my birthday,” she lies. She couldn’t tell him that Tyson had gotten it for her for Valentine’s Day.

[caratmagic]

—jung wooyoung—

contains: slight grinding— you’ll see what happens— mentions of sex

word count: 2.2k 

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Enemy Territory

🦋Chapter 3🦋

After a long day at work, and a long night with San. You were not expecting to be woken up by his buzzing phone at 8:00AM. Painfully opening your eyes, as you feel his arm over your naked waist, reach for his phone on the small night stand on your side. Once he has it, you feel him shift around behind you. Soon his fingers hitting the clicking keyboard starts to echo in the room, making you want to sigh. You slowly turn around, his eyes are still focused on the screen.

   “What is it?”

   “Mhh? Oh it’s.. Something for one of my class. The project I told you about last week.”

   “Last week? I thought this one was done.. Which is why you couldn’t come over last weekend.” You ask genuinely curious, as it was what he had told you the previous week.

   “Yeah, well.. Hum..” He hums lightly as he keeps typing. “Something came up again, sorry..” He locks his phone as you are about to lean in to get a peak. You raise an eyebrow but he just gets closer to kiss your forehead softly. “Raincheck for brunch?” He asks without really getting your answer as he’s already getting out of the bed. You watch him put his clothes on, still not answering him. “Y/N?” He turns around after passing his head through his shirt.

   “Raincheck~” A small smile draws itself on your lips and an adorable eye smile shows on his face, making your heart tug in your chest. This time, not entirely sure if it was due to love or.. something else. Something slightly bitter and painful. Maybe it was just due to a long week and having look forward to spending the weekend with San so much.

   Once he has all of his stuff packed, he once again leans in to kiss your forehead lightly before swiftly walking out of the room. Soon, you hear the clicking and a slight buzz, indicating that he had left the apartment. This sound had never felt so loud before.

   You end up rolling your eyes lightly before letting yourself fall back into your bed. Now that San was gone, there was more space in the bed. Is what you were trying to tell yourself to feel slightly better about the frustrating situation. Suddenly, the thought of Wooyoung realizing that San left early get to your mind.

   “He’s not gonna leave me alone, is he..?” You sigh softly before deciding to slowly leave your bed.

   Without looking around, you run to the bathroom to start a warm shower. Your body slightly aching due to the previous night with San. As much as you did enjoy it and his presence. You weirdly did not feel satisfied at all. Something felt empty and somewhat even worst than when he had simply canceled last week. Maybe, because you had set your hopes a bit higher this time. Also, maybe, because a very small part of you felt slightly used.

   You nervously shake your head. This was not the time to fall into one of those long and deep overthinking showers. After ten minutes, you step out of the shower, putting on comfy clothes to stay in for your Sunday. The simple shower and the small self care routine that you had gone over, was able to boost your energy and it’s with a small smile that you step out of the bathroom feeling refreshed. However, that smile dies really fast when you fall nose to nose with - once again - a shirtless Wooyoung.

   “You’re up early~” He coos lightly. “Did mister boyfriend end up getting the Y/N to wake up before 10:30 on a Sunday?” The eye roll was expected at this point. You huff slightly before pushing him out of the way.

   Now, how could a simple touch of your knuckles on his bare and warm skin, make you feel something? I mean, how was this very simple and harmless act, make you feel slightly flustered and affected. This felt ridiculous. He observes you making your way to the small kitchen. The feeling of your hands on his torso, affecting him just as much. Making him wonder, why did such a small act make him twitch ever so slightly in his shorts. However, something ‘tings’ in his brain as he watches you reach for the cereal.

   “Don’t tell me..” A small amused smile grew on his lips.

   “Shut it.”

   “He left!”

   “Wooyoung..” You turn around slowly with a nervous smile on your lips. For some reason, you felt ashamed that Wooyoung could see you like that. Knowing, little by little, those details about your relationship. Making your hatred for him only more powerful at this point. “I will make you eat all of your shirts, one by one, so you will finally have a fucking reason to walk around half naked, in MY apartment.”

   “I don’t know why you’re getting mad at me babe. I’m not the one canceling plans on you~” He says nonchalantly before stepping inside the bathroom.

   “I swear if he comes out with only a towel around his hips.. There will be a murder.” You mutter to yourself before getting your small breakfast ready.

   But, maybe, Wooyoung wearing actual clothes inside of the apartment when it was just the two of you, was too much to ask. He once again comes out with his signature low hanging towel around his hips. His eyes lazily looking at the door he was closing behind him, while his other hand runs through his damp hair. At this point, it would be just dumb to ignore your obvious attraction to your ex. It can happen, being physically attracted to your ex. It’s only normal, right? There was nothing wrong with that, just as long as nothing was to happen between the two of us.

   Before you know it, he is standing right in front of you, his eyes observing you. It feels like you should look away and ignore him, but there’s something. The way he slightly quirks his eyebrow, looking down at the small shorts and very light top you’re wearing. It felt comical to him that you would complain about him wearing so little when you were walking around looking like that. He slightly licks his lips, feeling himself twitch under his towel. As much as he was affected by the view, you hated to admit to yourself that you could feel yourself get wet. Your eyes naturally end up going down to his lips, then down further, letting his chest until—

   “You’re staring dumdumb.” He hums lightly, pleased with the slight blush on your cheeks.

   “Am not..” You turn around directly, going back to the fridge to put the milk back. As you’re about to step back to close the fridge, you feel his bareback press against your barely covered back. His arm resting on the door above yours and the other one reaching for the milk inside of the fridge.

   “I need that.” He says lowly against your ear when you feel it.

   Something poking you, against your thigh. You feel your throat tighten at the feeling of his hardening length against you. For a second, the both of you forget what you are to one another. You naturally press back as he softly pushes against you. After swallowing thickly and feeling a buzz between your legs you have not felt in a while, you snap back to reality. Pushing him away so you can step out of his arms that had you caged in.

   “You could have waited for me to be out of the way.. Or ask me. I don’t know..” You mumble and he smiles a bit amused.

   “It’s fine, I got it~” You nod barely acknowledging him before almost running back to your room. Pressing your back to the door the moment you close the door. Your cheeks were violently flushed red and it felt like you could finally get your breath back.

   “What the fuuuck..” You whisper to yourself in a mix of pure panic and slight excitation. Why was your core buzzing so nicely? “Fuck.. fuck, fuck, noo..” Your hands rubbing your face, trying to maybe wake you up from whatever this was.

   *Knock knock knock*

“Y/N? Are you ok?” A long sigh leaves your lips before deciding to blatantly lie.

“I don’t feel so good, please leave me alone.”

“Oh.. Ok, yeah.” He simply hums before you can hear him walking away.

For some reason, there was a slight pinching in your heart. It was guilt, that you knew for sure. But you were not sure if it was due to what happened by the fridge or due to the way you just pushed Wooyoung away.

Sadly, this heart pinch was far from going away and letting you live peacefully. Not when San cancelling on you was starting to get… more and more normal. It became a routine for him to come on Friday nights to, essentially, just have sex with you. Then, leave in the morning. Even letting you sleep on the side next to the wall so he did not wake you up as he left the bed. Every time leaving you with Wooyoung giving you questioning looks and slightly amused smiles.

This morning was no different. Once again, San had left earlier that morning, not even bothering to give a valid excuse as you watched him almost sneak out of your room. Now, you have to sit, eating your cereal in front of a smiling and shirtless Wooyoung. You instinctively roll your eyes, already ready for him to poke his nose where it doesn’t belong like he does best.

“How are things with San?”

“Good.” He hums simply in response instead of the usual teasing about how he never stays for the day after sleeping over. Insisting that it was just “weird”.

“What do you want to do today?”

“Excuse me what?”

“I don’t know, I’m just asking.. If you want to do something today. I mean, with San canceling on you again, you’re most likely free right?” He smiles at you and you clench your teeth together.

“If it’s for you to just stick your nose in my business and make fun of my relationship. I will pass, thank you..” You almost hiss at him, making him laugh.

“I don’t do that.” He scoffs and you can’t help but to roll your eyes. “I just thought why not. You know, because it’s my last week living here with you, so..” You raise an eyebrow at his comment.

That’s right, he was supposed to only stay for a month. It had felt like such a long time when he first told you, but now.. Weirdly enough, there’s a small part of you that wishes he could have stayed longer?

“We’re not friends like that..”

“No, but we’re still roommates. How about tonight I’ll make you dinner?” He raises an eyebrow and you end up pursing your lips together. Wooyoung knew just how much you loved it when he used to come over to cook for you.

“Well..”

“I have a grill, we can grill meat.” You could already feel yourself salivate.

“O-Ok fine.”

“Perfect! Then, I just have a few things to do this morning but, you’ll come with me to the store later today right?”

“Yeah su--”

*Knock Knock Knock*

The door knocks heavily, making you both turn your heads towards it. You look at Wooyoung and he gives you an interrogating look.

“You expecting someone?” You shake your head at his question.

“No, you?”

“Mhm.” He says no as he stands up to go open the door. The moment he turns the handle, the door flies open to a crying girl.

��Oh my god!! Wooyoung!!” She jumps into his arms, nuzzling her face into his naked torso.

Your heart clenches uncomfortably and your teeth clenches at the view. Any doubt of jealousy was out the window. You wish this girl could get off of Wooyoung this instant. The moment she looks up, you recognize her. She was the girl that had come over that one night when they were watching a movie.

“Wha--What’s wrong?” He asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“My roommate keeps on inviting her boyfriend over and just ugh. I’m so sick of it and--” She looks back up towards me before leaning into Wooyoung’s arms again. “Can we go to your room?” She whispers even though you could obviously hear her.

You instinctively roll your eyes as Wooyoung nods yes. She takes his hand in hers and takes him to his room. While she gives you an interesting look, Wooyoung mouths a small ‘sorry’ while being dragged by her. You purse your lips lightly in response. As much as this was annoying, now a bigger problem was arising. Seeing this girl hug Wooyoung, made your heart clench more than San’s new habit of coming over just for sex. Seeing your ex being hugged by a random girl was actually more hurtful than your own boyfriend’s weird behavior towards you. There was no more denying this to yourself now.

[ chapter 4 >> ]

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 13 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Spencer finally meets Reader’s roommate while the two prepare for a picnic. After Spencer lectures Reader on the dangers of the outdoors, the two face a different kind of danger at the bank.

Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader 
 Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Gun violence mention Word Count: 6.3k

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

Although I’d been inside (Y/n)’s apartment several times now, I couldn’t say I’d ever actually looked much at my surroundings. It felt strange to admit that, mostly because I felt like I was doing something wrong; like I was a traitor to my job.

But then again, it felt worse to try to profile her. The few times I had made it obvious, she had made it very clear it was unappreciated. I could understand why.

So, before we even got to her door, I tried to quiet the voices screaming in my head, telling me to look for clues to all the unknowns about her. It wasn’t because I was expecting her to be hiding anything; I just wanted to know everything about her.

I could simply wait for her to tell me, though. We had all the time in the world, right?

“Laura, I’m home!” She called out immediately after breaching the entrance, following the exclamation with a very hurried request. “Spencer is here so please don’t be weird!”

The response was a calm, steady series of footfalls down the hall. The girl stuck her head around the corner, peeking at the two of us with a devilish grin.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, Dr. Reid.”

I told myself I probably shouldn’t be this nervous. If she was friends with (y/n), she was most likely a decent person. But let’s just say women around that age had never been particularly kind to me. They brought to the surface a lot of memories I’d tried very hard to bury.

She didn’t put her hand out to shake, which told me they’d already probably talked about me more than I’d have liked. ‘Wait,’ I thought to myself, ‘Is it okay to profile her roommate?’

“I’m going to go get a basket together. Wait in the living room, my kitchen is a disaster.”

Before I could argue, she had already disappeared, leaving me stranded in the hallway with her roommate who looked ready to cause trouble. I just hoped it wouldn’t the kind that revolved around me.

She waved a hand in front of her, motioning for me to make my way into the living room. Once we were there, she immediately took a seat, but I remained standing. Felt better to be able to escape.

The silence was awkward and suffocating. I could feel her staring at me, but she wasn’t saying anything. It felt wrong to look back.

“She says you read people for a living.” Her voice had a hint of skepticism in it I’d grown used to. “Sounds kind of like what psychics say.”

“Yeah, we use a lot of the same strategies, too. They just aren’t as honest about it as we are.”

“What do you see here?”

That was what got me to turn around and face her. She looked so comfortable, curled up on the couch.

“Pardon me?” The question caught me off guard, even though it shouldn’t have. I’d heard it so many times.

“What does our apartment say about us?” She asked, clearly not understanding why it was an inappropriate thing to ask. Or more likely, just didn’t care. Curiosity is a powerful thing.

I cleared my throat before looking back away and saying, “I agreed not to profile (y/n).”

“Well, can you at least tell which stuff is hers?”

I’m sure she was just checking to see if I was legitimate or just scamming her. Maybe she was checking to see if I was too good at it.

She didn’t need to worry. (Y/n) could handle herself. She wasn’t tricked easily. In fact, most of my intrigue and concern surrounding her unknowns was just how good she was at hiding things.

It wasn’t until I had registered that question and was staring at her walls with a newfound sense of purpose, that I realized how little I knew about her past. Then again, I don’t really care about her past.

It had made her who she was today, and that was the woman I loved.

My fingers brushed over old, cracked plastic on DVD cases displayed on a shelf beside the console center.

I didn’t even notice I was smiling at first, realizing that she’d kept the physical cases despite all the streaming services. She clearly still used the discs, too.

“These... are hers.”

“How can you tell?” The response in the form of a question told me I was right, and only made me feel even more deeply. Despite my greatest efforts to not look so excited by something so silly, I turned back around with my lips still curled in an awkward smile.

“Educated guess. Adrenaline.”

“What?” The confusion in her voice reminded me that she wasn’t aware of one of my deepest personality flaws.

“Research shows that only about 10% of the population are so called ‘adrenaline junkies,’ people who enjoy roller coasters and horror movies. It’s more often men than women, but it’s hard to tell because of the way we’re socialized.”

If I had turned around to face her, I probably would have seen the dead stare she was giving me during my rant.

“Regardless, people tend to either love horror or hate it. So, I considered the fact that (y/n) seems to enjoy things like... sneaking into bars with fake IDs and… other risky behavior.”

Well, that was close.

“But what really gave it away was the fact they’re not dusty, which means they’re still being used despite all of these movies being available on streaming services I know for a fact she uses. Considering how patient she is with my own Luddite tendencies I just figur—“

“Wow.”

The word cut off my train of thought, and I realized that I had barely breathed since I’d started. Wincing in response to the dumbfounded look on the poor girl’s face, I gave a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“A little bit,” she said with her own little pity laugh. I’m sure (y/n) had told her enough about me that this wasn’t that big of a surprise.

“I do that when I’m nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous,” she said like it was the easiest advice in the world, “You’re right about her, you know.”

Staring down at my feet, I wondered why the confirmation from her roommate meant so much to me. I hadn’t been actively trying to figure out things about my girlfriend — it felt wrong. But for whatever reason, knowing I had the ability to figure it out meant more when it was about her.

Laura laughed again, craning her neck to look around the corner before she quietly spoke. “She says it was the other way around, but she’s the one who convinced me to streak the lawn.”

Ah, the age-old tradition of UVA students. It was so easy to picture her stripping down to nothing in the dead of the night to prance down the length of manicured grass. My own personal little pixie.

If it was just an attempt to calm my nerves, it was working. Putting the focus back on (y/n) was a surefire way to bring out the best in me. She just had that effect on me.

“I am entirely unsurprised by this information,” I said before walking over to the other side of the room, noting the distinct lack of pictures of family among the shelves that clearly belonged to her.

Don’t read into it, I told myself, she might just keep them somewhere else.

“She also drank an entire water bottle of vodka during a full day of classes one time, just because I bet that she wouldn’t.”

I scoffed at the image of her drunk. It’d been a while since I’d seen her like that, and both times had been remarkably unique. She’s a dead giveaway; I was surprised she hadn’t been caught.

“I can’t say I relate to that,” I sadly admitted. Sometimes it was hard to realize that if I’d known her at the same age, we probably wouldn’t have gotten along. I used to hate people like that.

Granted, they had usually also hated me.  

“She did mention you were a genius or something. I kind of figured. That’s her type.”

Well, that was information I couldn’t just gloss over. I furrowed my brow with a disbelieving smile, finally looking at the girl who was avidly watching my every move.

“Is it? I always pictured her with someone with more… Kinaesthetic intelligence.”

She gave me that look people give me when I said something weird, but continued nonetheless, “I don’t really know what that means, but she takes school pretty seriously. Honestly, probably a little too much. Part of why I dared her.”

“It’s strange to imagine her in class.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but once it was out there, I couldn’t take it back. And I was glad I couldn’t, because I was very curious about the answer.

“She’s the girl who knows all the answers and shuts down all the stupid guys trying to talk over her.”

I knew that those behaviors weren’t exactly favored in classrooms, having myself been the one at the brunt end of the bullying that followed.

“It’s pretty impressive.” She was being genuine when she spoke, and I was inclined to agree. At the same time the thought crossed my mind, I found a picture of her perched on the lap of the Thomas Jefferson statute.

God, I loved that girl.

“I bet she is.”

Almost on call, (y/n) poked her head into the room with wary eyes, looking at me as I awkwardly waved before looking back to her roommate.

“Laura, are you being weird?”

The girl rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned to me like it was my question to answer. Afraid to spoil any tenuous, newly formed loyalties, I shook my head no.

“Okay…” She only barely accepted my answer, “But if you say some dumb shit and get arrested, I’m not bailing you out.”

Briefly sticking out her tongue as she walked past me, she continued on her way. I couldn’t help but give that lovestruck, idiotic grin I always gave when she was around. If you’d told me I would’ve ever felt like this about someone who felt the same about me, I wouldn’t have believed you. Part of me still didn’t believe she could ever love me the same as I loved her.

Turning back to the girl cringing at the blatant intimacy shared in a simple glance, I immediately became awkward again.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t bring my handcuffs.” I joked, showing my hands in a strange display of innocence.

She… took a different approach.

“I know for a fact she has a few pairs in her room if you need one.”

A high-pitched whine nearly escaped my throat at the casual mention, and I cleared my throat and turned to look at her with a very unconvincing laugh. “W-what?”

“You have to know it’s impossible for her to keep her sex life a secret,” she droned with a bored expression, “I live one room over.”

“Right,” I nodded.

There was an extended, never ending silence as she just let me stew in my own discomfort. It didn’t seem to bother her one bit, because the longer I avoided her eyes the more she seemed to smile.

“I’m uncomfortable.” I finally admitted, and she just shook her head, running her hand through her hair before giving me one final hard look.

“You’re sweet. You make her happy. I appreciate that.”

My mouth scrunched in a humble half-smile, my hands finding their way back into my pockets as I tried to consider the reality I’d found myself in. Of all the infinite possibilities, I got to exist in the version of the world where I loved a girl who loved me back.

“It’s all her,” I finally said with a voice that crackled far too much for my liking, “I don’t do anything. I’m just the lucky one she decides to keep around.”

Laura flashed an approving grin, but then got up when she heard the familiar, happy feet beating down the hallway. (Y/n) burst out from around the corner, her arms full with a picnic basket and a blanket she clearly owned for just these occasions.

“Ready to go, babe?”

“Lead the way.”

I’d have followed her anywhere.

—————————————————

It was the perfect time of year for a picnic, despite Spencer’s insistence that there was no such thing. Once we were in the park, his whining dramatically decreased. Maybe it was the sunshine, or maybe it was the smile on my face, but he was certainly in brighter spirits.

He even let me rest my head on his lap, his legs crossed underneath me while he alternated between staring off at the trees slowly losing their color to autumn and my quiet contentment as I nibbled on an assortment of fruits.

There was no awkward silence or hidden darkness in this day, and even the sweetest strawberry couldn’t be more refreshing. To be here with Spencer, soaking in the late Summer sun, was all I could ever ask for.

But I was also eager to take advantage of the uncharacteristic softness between us. It wasn’t often we could share moments like this. Between his job and all our problems over the past few months, I wasn’t sure when we could be like this again.

“Let’s talk about something fun.” I blurted out, earning an intrigued look from my boyfriend. He readjusted his position, leaning back on his hands so he could look down at me easier.

“Okay, like what?”

“Don’t make fun of me…” The way he was looking at me gave me no hope he would actually listen to me, but I continued anyway, “I have conversation starters I looked up.”

He snorted while trying to suppress his chuckle. “Of course you do.”

Dropping my mouth open, I reached up to lightly smack him on the face for immediately doing exactly what I had asked him not to.

“What? Like you’re the epitome of sociable, Dr. Reid?”

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to stop the laughter that kept bubbling in his chest over something that was decidedly not that funny at all. We were just that stupid kind of happy where everything was wonderful.

“I’m just not surprised!” He reminded, then nodded for me to continue, “Go on, tell me one.”

“Tell me something you’re scared of.” I shot back, excited to hear the answer.

“The dark.” It was the most anticlimactic, stereotypical answer I could have imagined. It was my turn to scoff now, hardly believing the answer to be real.

“Seriously? You’re an FBI Agent, Spencer.”

“You told me not to make fun of you, but then you make fun of me? Unfair. I didn’t sign up for this scrutiny.” His legs started to move under me as he pretended like he was about to dump me from his lap and leave me here.

“Fine!” I shouted, reaching my hands up to grab his face. Although they fumbled awkwardly from my strange position, he took the time to lean to the side and kiss my palm lightly. “Favorite memory of the two of us.”

He blew out a long breath, his eyes squinted like they always did when he was in deep contemplation. But something told me something actually jumped straight to his mind, but he was holding it back for some other reason.

“That’s not fair. There are too many.”

I wasn’t falling for it. I flicked his nose before pulling my hand back, smiling at the way he jerked away like it actually hurt him. Giant baby.

“No cop out answers, old man. Favorite one!”

Spencer just sighed, letting his head fall back as he actually thought about what he was about to say for once in his life. I took the brief moment without his scrutiny to reflect on just how lucky I was to be able to see him like this.

“Okay. So, remember when we went to the bakery in Downtown?” He asked like I could have forgotten.

“Pauls? Yes, I remember.”

They’re legends in the area, but a total pain to try and get. You have to get there first thing in the morning and wait in a ridiculous line. But they were always worth it. Spencer had told me he’d never been, and I just couldn’t let such an injustice stand.

“While we were waiting in that ridiculous line, I remember looking at you and just seeing how excited you were for a donut, even at 7 in the morning.”

“That’s objectively the best time for a donut.” I interrupted with the most matter-of-fact tone I could emulate.

“Right,” he laughed, recalling how I kept reminding him of that fact while in line, “Well, we got to the front and before I could even talk, you had already ordered one for me.”

It took me a second to remember exactly what had happened. So much had happened since then, the memories were becoming muddled in my mind. But once I did remember, I smiled.

“Chocolate frosted with sprinkles. For the child in us all.”

“That’s it.” His voice had gotten soft so quickly, his hand brushing over my cheek while he played with the strands of hair blowing back over my face. “That’s my favorite memory.”

If I didn’t make a joke of it soon, I was scared my heart would burst.

“Really? That’s your favorite memory? Of all things?” I asked with a playful grin, clasping both of my hands around his and holding it against my chest.

“Yes.” For a man of so many words, it meant so much more when he spoke so little. You could feel the truth in the way the sound hit your ears.

Even as I bit on the inside of my cheeks to withhold my excited giggle, he was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Spencer, that’s so lame.”

In that way he always did, he so charmingly replied, “How fitting for us.”

“Rude,” I muttered, finally finding the strength to sit up from my position on his lap. The world only spun for a second as I reoriented myself. He seemed equally grateful, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“What else do you want to make fun of me for?” Spencer said with a smile, watching as I reached into the small basket and pulled out a small clementine. I ran through the questions in my head, trying to decide which one to spend our limited time on.

“Okay,” I decided, “What did you think the first time you saw me?”

His face scrunched up with the leftover embarrassment from our very first meeting, during which the first thing he had ever done to me was lie. It had been a flattering one, though.

As I popped a section of the small citrus fruit into my mouth, I noticed the way he licked his own lips. The sight caused butterflies to flurry in my stomach, and I wondered which was more appealing to him; the mouthwatering scent of oranges or the idea of slipping something else between my lips.

“I thought... that you were beautiful and intriguing. And I was right.”

I got my answer to my preceding thought, because he had quickly wrapped his hand around the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss with crushing force. For someone who wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection, he certainly didn’t mind kissing me like this.

Despite how deep and hard it was, it ended far too quickly. I sucked on my bottom lip as he left, staring up at him with wonder and devoted attention.

“Why was I intriguing?”

He clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead, probably hoping that the kiss alone would distract me from asking any more questions about that night. Unable to get out of it now, though, he just shrugged with a nervous chuckle, “You... were looking at me?”

My laugh, on the other hand, was full bodied as I pushed him away from me with just enough force that he actually almost toppled over.

“That was it? Because I looked at you?”

It seemed so silly, but I could tell by the way he responded that he meant it. He had told me before, on that night actually, that he wasn’t used to women showing him attention. But surely, he must just be missing it. He was an amazing man.

“I don’t know. There’s just something about you.” He paused between his words, taking a deep breath before attempting to work through his thoughts, “Like... like things just revolve around you. You have this intense gravitational pull that just told me that I had to get closer to you or I wouldn’t be able to survive.”

Fighting back the blush quickly forming on my cheeks, I struggled to maintain my typical aloof nature. I couldn’t have him getting a swelled head just because he could string together a couple cute sentences.

“Are you calling me a star, Dr. Reid?”

“I guess I am, yeah.” He hit me back with that confidence he rarely displayed outside of our play. I loved to see it like this. It made me feel like I was actually with him, rather than any manicured person he’d created to suit the needs of the current situation.

“If you felt that strongly about it, then why lie and say you weren’t checking me out? I could’ve left, you know.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Yeah, but I thought about it.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. There had been a couple of times during that night that I almost cut my losses—admitted that we were just too different to ever be compatible. Thank god I’d ignored that flawed instinct.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you. Have you looked at your boyfriend? I’m so weird.”

The ease with which he flouted his eccentricities brought a smile to my face, and I shook my head as I tried to fight back in his defense. “You’re not that weird.”

“Are you joking? Look at yourself. You’re—You’re normalcy personified! No, actually, you’re not even that. You’re this... beautiful, smart, talented young girl and I’m just an old man who’s hoping to keep you around long enough that you forget you have better options out there.”

The longer he spoke, the more my jaw dropped open. Eventually, I had devolved into a fit of laughter.

“Dr. Reid, you can’t seriously be telling me that you think I am out of your league!”

“I mean—!” he started, but I wasn’t going to allow him to even entertain the thought. I clapped my hand over his mouth, nearly climbing onto his lap to hush any noises he attempted to make.

“No way!” I shouted, “Shut up!”

Instead of trying to wrench my hand away, his hands came to rest on my hips. I could feel the smile spreading across his cheeks under my fingers.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Spencer. Fucking FBI Agent with three PhDs. Get out of here.”

He began bouncing his leg under me, and when I looked down to see what he was doing, I was shocked to feel a wetness on my palm. Ripping my hand away, I looked at my hand to see the swipe of saliva over the skin.

“Did you just fucking lick me?!” I screeched, unable to comprehend what had just happened, staring at my boyfriend with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I touched the ground with this hand! What are you doing?!”

“Yeah, I’m definitely going to rinse my mouth with bleach when we get home. But it was worth it, to see that look on your face.”

He went to wipe his own face, but I still couldn’t get over the fact my hand was fucking wet. So I took my hand once more, wiping the residue of his own spit back over his cheek. Surprisingly, he just let me do it, laughing as he only slightly tilted his head back.

“Nasty old pervert,” I joked, rolling my body off him and sitting on own once more.

“You’re very mean when you’re nice to me.” Spencer pouted.

I was distracted, trying to get my hair to stay out of my face and mouth as the wind started to whip through the park. Still, I managed to say a few very important words of warning.

“Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.”

Taking pity on my obvious distress, he reached out to grab my arm, tugging me back over to him. “Come here, little girl.” he instructed while I crawled over on all fours to sit between his legs.

I was going to ask him what he was planning when I felt his hands begin threading through my hair. I sat patiently, recognizing the pattern he was weaving.

“... When did you learn how to braid hair? Did your mom teach you?”

“My mom has short hair.” It was an evasive, but truthful answer, so I didn’t press it. I was sure I would find out more about his family as time went on. I just had to keep reminding myself that we had all the time in the world to get to know each other.

“I never learned how to braid hair specifically. I’m just applying the same pattern I would with a knot or a puzzle.”

“How romantic.” I gasped, tucking my hands between my legs as I enjoyed the way it felt for him to play with my hair.

It was always bizarre, to consider the way he could be so soft in moments like this. Or rather, that he could be so far the opposite at other times. In my heart, he was always the kind, goofy man I had met that night at the bar.

But I’d seen him angry, depressed, and in pain. I’d seen him desperate and scared. Basically, the only way I hadn’t seen Spencer Reid was however he was at work. Part of me wished that I could; it was obvious he was good at it and, to a certain degree, enjoyed it.

Then again, when I know he does things like get shot at, it makes it a little bit harder to be interested in. I couldn’t imagine getting that phone call one day while they loaded him into the back of an ambulance... or worse.

“Ah, the things I do for love.” His calm, smooth voice tore me from the destructive thoughts and back into his warm embrace.

“Hey, Spencer, I have a serious question.”

“Well, that’s terrifying.” He joked, holding out his hand for my hair tie, which I happily gave him. I hated to admit that he did a better job at braiding my hair than I’d ever done. Freaking stupid genius stuff.

“When do I get to say it back?”

I swear, I felt a chill spread through the air between us. His entire body froze, his hands stuck mixed with the elastic as he tied off the braid.

It was an intense, unwelcome flashback to the second night I’d spent with him, when we had talked about things too serious, too soon.

Terrified, I immediately cut off anything he might have been able to say, muttering, “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

Letting my hair slip from his fingers, he let his hand drag along my spine. I wished I could see the look on his face, but I didn’t dare turn around.

“I’m sorry.” He said after another moment of silence, and it physically pained me the way the words fell from his lips.

“Don’t apologize,” I said in the cheeriest tone possible, trying to lighten the mood, “I just wanted to test the waters.”

With that, I spun around dramatically, noting the way his face lit up once it saw the smile on my own. “And they are frozen solid!”

He laughed at the enthusiasm I displayed, swiftly throwing his arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Well, I’ll just have to warm you up, then.” My whole body in his arms, he yanked me off the ground and onto himself. I struggled playfully under his arms, not paying any attention to the other people in the park watching our childish antics.

“Hypothermia is very dangerous, after all,” he lectured, “Let me take your temperature.” Burying his face in my neck, I felt the familiar overstimulation that accompanied frantic, light touches of my sides.

“Stop!” I burst with laughter, “You’re tickling me!”

The movements all halted, but only to be followed with a terrifyingly devious tone of Spencer’s voice. “You’re ticklish?”

“Don’t you dare—”

“Oh, I love this information.” And just like that, he began his onslaught. His fingers danced over every inch of my sides, his lips pressing quick, frenzied kisses against the underside of my chin. The harder I laughed, the more he continued.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” I screeched like a banshee, trying to slip from his hands or turn around—anything to get the upper hand again.

After nearly wrestling him, I managed to get both hands on his shoulders and shove him back against the blanket. The force with which we hit the ground knocked the air from his lungs, and he groaned at my body weight on his chest.

“Okay, okay! You win!” He yelled, holding his hands in front of me while struggling not to touch the ground with his head. “I’m not risking more surface area of contact with the ground to fight you.”

“(Y/n) emerges victorious!” I grabbed hold of both of his hands, shaking his arms with all my leftover adrenaline while I cheered myself on.

“Dork,” he muttered under his breath before he grabbed my sides, laughing at the way I instinctually jerked. I threw myself off of him to avoid the potential tickles, landing clumsily next to him. And Spencer, being the genius, recognized it as the perfect opportunity to pin me against the ground.

Wasting no time, he pressed the same instruments which had begun the great tickle war against my own lips. My hands found their way to his cheeks, pulling him closer as his tongue easily found mine. Just like it always did with us, it felt like the world was disappearing around us.

All I could feel, smell, taste, think, was Spencer Reid. His love and admiration flowed from him with ease, and I was happy to take it in. After a few minutes, we had to break apart. We might like a little bit of exhibitionism, but I was pretty sure neither of us actually wanted to tear the other’s clothes off in a park.

Could you imagine if people knew he was an FBI Agent? I was sure they already thought our age gap strange. But I didn’t care what they thought. Because right now, we were happy.

“I’m the dork you love, though.” I whispered against his lips.

“Indubitably,” he mumbled back, starting to laugh at the way the word sounded in our teenage love-like delirium.

“Now who’s the dork.” I teased as I smoothed my hands over his shoulders.

“Hm. Still you. And a little bit me, too.”

Laughter was bursting from me again.

“You have grass in your hair, idiot.” Before he could do anything about it, my hands were all over it, ruffling his hair wildly out of place. He just squeezed his eyes shut, letting me ruin any semblance of maturity or control from his appearance.

“Wow. Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.” I chirped, accepting the small peck he gave me before he started to retreat from his spot above me.

“You ready to head home?”

“Yeah, just about,” he sighed like it was a terrible thing to do. He hadn’t even wanted to come on this picnic!

“I promised to check you for ticks, after all.”

Ah, the real thing we were both looking forward to. Although, I was sure he was going to take it way too seriously for a few minutes before we devolve into sex on the bathroom floor.

“Mmm. I’m thrilled.” I replied honestly, struggling to sit up now that my body had already slipped into Spencer Reid is on Top of You mode. It was one of those rare moments when I wondered if there really was a female version of blue balls, because I was almost certain I had it.

“I have to stop at the bank first, though. I’ll go throw this stuff in the car and we can just walk over.”

“Sure thing, old man.” I huffed as I stood up, holding the much lighter basket while he collected the blanket. Once he took it all from me, I glanced over at the nearby bench with a pout.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“You’re cute,” he smiled, kissing my cheek like it were a more serious goodbye, “I’ll be right back.”

While I waited for him, I cautiously watched the large, dark clouds rolling over the horizon. They threatened to swallow the sunshine that we’d basked in less than hour before. I tried not to think anything of it.

It wasn’t a metaphor; it wasn’t an omen. It was just the weather.

Spencer must have seen the anxiety, because when he came back, he gingerly placed his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my chin.

“I guess we have good timing. It looks like it’s about to storm.” I absently spoke, my eyes still fixed on the sky.

“Yeah, typical finicky Virginia weather, I guess.”

I wasn’t sure if I actually heard it in his voice or made it up, but I swore Spencer was also trying to stop himself from thinking something of the rain. I was probably just being paranoid. It was just a storm. They happened.

“Well, let’s get going so you can cash your check in person like an eighty year old man.” I joked, grabbing his hand and dragging him back towards the exit to the park.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration. There are other people my age who don’t trust cell phone banking transactions.”

“Are there, though?”

He just shook his head, deciding it wasn’t worth it to get into it with me. Typical young kids, he must have thought, so irresponsible. But he didn’t say it, just held my hand on the short, quiet walk to the ornate building on the corner of two busy streets.

I swung our hands dramatically back and forth, earning an unamused, but still playful, glare from him.

“Your age is showing,” he pointed out before licking his lips and avoiding my eyes. I glared right back before responding, “Your stick-in-the-mud-ness is showing.”

“Not a word. Not a phrase. Not a thing.”

He stopped our hands dead in their tracks as he crossed the threshold, and for a second, I thought he was going to seriously be a spoilsport. But right when I least expected it, he swung our hands again and I nearly smacked into another person.

We both laughed, with me blurting out a frantic, “I’m sorry!”

“So immature,” he chastised, shaking his head with disapproval.

“I can’t believe you. You are such an asshole!”  

The familiar hum and beeping of the metal detectors threatened to dislodge memories from the back of my mind, and I shook my head to try to get rid of them again. Spencer glanced over with concern but didn’t mention it.

I was grateful. I didn’t want to talk about it. Once we had passed security, he settled into the line like he’d done it a million times before. But me, being a normal person who used my banking app to cash checks, felt strangely out of place.

Figuring it might be a minute, and that the ride home would be significantly longer, I decided to go get any residual dirt and grass out of my hair. After all, it would get in the way of our tick searching activities.

“Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere.” I pointed an accusing finger at him as my arm slipped from around his. His hand followed me until he couldn’t hold on any longer, an innocent, lovesick smile on his face.

“You know I could never leave you behind.”

As cheesy as it was, it still made me smile. My heart ached with the saccharine sweetness of his affections. I’d gotten so used to them so fast; I couldn’t even imagine a world without them anymore.

“Don’t miss me too much, Dr. Reid.”

“You know I will, little girl.”

That storm cloud feeling was brewing in my chest again as I pressed a kiss to my fingers, blowing it across the ever-growing distance between us. Why did he feel so far away so suddenly?

I tried not to pay it any mind, humming You Are My Sunshine and imagining Spencer’s terrible singing voice instead. Looking at my reflection, I realized why my cheeks had been getting sore. Because there, staring back at me, was a smile on a neutral face.

I don’t even know when it happened, but it hit me in that bathroom of a bank at 12:47pm on a Saturday that I had fallen madly in love with Spencer Reid. And it suddenly made sense, why he didn’t want me to say it yet. Because I hadn’t realized it yet.

But now I had, and it filled every cell in my body. The blush on my cheeks was evidence of just how much I needed to let it out, to scream it from the rooftops, or at least in the lobby of this old bank.

There were so few things that could overwhelm the emotions I was feeling and rob me of this moment. My brain rioted against any sign of darkness or despair, clinging to the hope that I would be able to tell him soon.

So, when explosive booms rang through the bank, for a long second, I tried to convince myself they were thunder.

But they weren’t. The storm had indeed come, but it wasn’t responsible for the sounds that caused my heart to tear in two and shatter against the floor. The people outside the room were not screaming at the wrath of God, displayed with lightwork in the sky.

It was not thunder.

They were gunshots.

 —————————————————

| Part 14 |

[crumbling-cookie-imagines]

this is the same pitaya and ananas anon! you can call me s, but could i get some angst with a happy ending?

It was rare to see Ananas’ composure crack. It was sturdy, rock solid one may claim, and Ananas went to great lengths to keep it up. It wasn’t hard to keep up when dealing with cookies but then there was this one.

“You dare mock me in my own abode?!” Ananas yelled, slamming their hand on the table as they shot a glare at Pitaya. 

“It’sss not that big of a deal.” Pitaya rolled their eyes, not that effected by the glare. It wasn’t like they always had the most stable of relationships. “Couple of ssscratchesss, I’m not as ussssslesss asss you think I am.”

A growl escaped Ananas’ throat, “you act out, not just in drrragon valley, not just nearrr kingdoms, but now you act out in my own castle afterrr I accepted you being herrre?”

“Why do you even care? It’sss dumb anywaysss, I’ve dealt with worssse.”

Ananas scoffed at that, “as if you could manage any betterrr than you have in the past.”

Pitaya huffed, standing up now as well. “I have managed jussst fine in the passst, no thanksss to you!”

“You’rrre weakerrr now!” Ananas’ voice was loud enough that the cookies outside could probably hear them shouting. “What, prrray tell, makes that so harrrd to get that thrrrough your thick skull?!”

Pitaya seemed to shrink at their tone, staring blankly before it turned once more into a glare that matched intensity. “I’m never going to be ssstrong enough for you, isss that it? Pity?”

“Pity?” Ananas voice dropped to that of a whisper, genuinely confounded at the assumption. “You think I’m doing this because I… I pity you?”

"Why elssse would you?" Pitaya grumbled, smoke pouring out of the edges of their mouth.

“You think I look out for you out of… pity?” Ananas squinted the anger seemingly evaporated from their conscious. 

“Of courssse!” They raised their voice. “Why elssse? 

“Because I care about you, idiot.” The yellow dragon sighed, staring at the table instead of Pitaya’s expression. “You aren’t strong anymore. That’s a fact. You don’t like it, I don’t like it, but that’s how it is.”

“I’m not weak!” 

“You’re hurt!” Ananas yelled back. “You’re hurt and I just want to make sure you’re okay! Why is that so hard for you to understand?!”

“Why do you care?!” Pitaya slammed their hands down on the table, finally starting to tear up. “You never cared before. You jussst want to think you’re ssso much better than me by pretending! You don’t care about anything but yourssself!”

“I care now,” with a soft click of their tongue they continued as their composure came back, “but clearly we won’t be able to have this conversation without one or both of us getting emotional.”

Moving towards the door, they ignored Pitaya’s attempt to rile them up again.

“Find me when you’re done yelling.”

The door closed behind Ananas and Pitaya was left in a silent room on their own, still shaking in anger. Too bad anger was a secondary emotion, Pitaya didn’t particularly feel like facing the root of the issue today.

The room Ananas found themself sat in was quiet as well, though it was welcomed this time in contrast to the yelling match that just transpired. The yellow dragon took a breath, tail swishing in annoyance as they were clearly still bothered by it all. 

“Why do I care?” Ananas mumbled to themself, unable to focus on the book in front of them. “I cared before, I just couldn’t express it.”

With a sigh, they slammed the book closed. “Maybe I just care too much. No, I’m not used to it, maybe it’s the normal amount. I care the normal amount for a typical being, that’s all. That’s it.”

They didn’t even believe what they were saying at this point, the words were doing little to ease the tight feeling in their chest. Ananas brushed it aside as guilt and nothing else, they did yell at an injured dragon who never knows when to step down from a fight. What other outcome were they expecting?

Going in circles, Ananas didn’t notice how much time had past until there was a knock on the door and the sky outside had started to turn orange as the sun descended under the horizon.

“What?” Ananas pushed open the door only to come once more face to face with Pitaya.

“H-”

“You’re still here?”

Pitaya could only stare, “yesss. You ssaid-”

“Yes, I said you could stay, I just figured you’d leave to do something impulsive.”

“Ssso you ssstill think ssso little of me.”

“No- I-” Ananas sighed, “forget I said anything. What do you want?”

“...’M sssorry.” Pitaya mumbled.

“Pardon?”

“I’m not sssaying it again!”

Oh, okay. Ananas smiled slightly. “I really didn’t hear you, Pitaya.”

“Yesss you did, you’re sssmiling!”

“Why are you so flustered? Was it a proclamation of your undying love-”

“I sssaid I was sssorry!” 

Ananas chuckled, nodding. “Thank you for the apology. I’m also sorry I kept pushing. I’m known to get… controlling in emotional situations.”

Pitaya nodded slowly though the blush was still evidence of their embarrassment, “why were you emotional?”

“Well I care,” Ananas frowned slightly, “perhaps in a way that’s hard to understand for everyone involved, but I do. I want to protect you from harm, the same way I want to protect the islands from harm. You understand that desire, right?”

Pitaya nodded again, “of course. I have my treasures as well.”

Ananas nodded back before continuing, “but you’re hurt. I wasn’t able to protect you from harm, I was angry mostly at myself and some at the circumstance. I directed it inappropriately at you.”

The red dragon nodded, “so you think I’m one of your treasures?”

“You are pretty.” Ananas chuckled. “Yes, I think that is what’s going on with my emotions.”

“But I’m me?”

“Exactly. A treasure.”

Without warning, Pitaya pulled Ananas into a tight hug. Despite the instinctive pull-back Ananas had, they eventually gave in and hugged Pitaya back tightly. They remained like that for a good while. When they parted, Pitaya had ears brimming their eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Ananas mumbled, cupping their cheek.

“I thought I crossssssed a line.” Their voice wavered slightly as they leaned against the yellow dragon’s hand. “That you wanted me to leave again.”

“You left once already,” Ananas agreed softly. “I don’t think I’d be able to handle a second life-time without you present.”

[sokkascroptop]

traitor. (sokka x f! reader) pt 9

part 1 | part 8 | part 10

A/N: I finished this at 4 am, I am so tired. I also loved writing this, hence the staying up until 4 am to finish it. 

Y/N looked between them, unsure of what to do with herself. She wasn’t friends with Katara, she was in fact better friends with Zuko, but it felt weird to stay, like she was listening in on a private conversation. But she thought they were starting to make some headway. They hadn’t tried to kill one another while locked in the catacombs yet. And she missed him, she wanted to stay with him, to see if she could make up for the mistakes she made while with Azula. 

Neither girl knew what to do with one another. 

The cavern was large and they kept each other in sight as they explored it separately. Green crystals grew out of ground everywhere Y/N could see. They shined like glow-moths and lit up the cave with an eerie haze. It was cold and damp too, and all she could smell was wet dirt. 

She reached up and touched one of the crystals. It was the tallest of it’s bunch and thick as her wrist. She ran a finger along it. It was angled on top, it’s sides were sharp.

Y/N found a foothold and pulled herself up to be eye level and tugged on it. 

“What are you doing?”

Y/N gasped and slipped off the rock she was standing on. She felt something sharp dig into her belly and pulled herself back up. She turned around and looked at the watertribe girl who was standing there with her hands on her hips.

“Don’t run up on someone like that. You scared me. I almost impaled myself on another one of these dumb crystals.”

“I didn’t–what are you doing!” She exclaimed as Y/N pulled hard on the crystal, this time her hands slipped off the slick surface and she had to jump down backwards before she fell on her back. Maybe she needed to try one that was smaller. 

“Are you trying to find a weapon?” the waterbender asked her. Apparently whatever made her want to stay away from Y/N a few hours ago was gone, she followed Y/N close on her heels as she inspected other rocks in the cavern.

“No.” Yes, Y/N very much was. 

“Well, they took my waterskin so I don’t have anything to bend. You shouldn’t be worried.”

“I’m not.” Y/N wiggled a smaller crystal but it was rooted just as deep as the last one. She had a feeling they were all going to be like that. “Besides there’s water all in the air, can’t you smell it?”

The girl’s voice was small when she answered. “I don’t know how to bend water out of the air.” 

“Oh. Well, what a time to learn,” Y/N muttered. She bunched up her dress around her and sat down heavily in the dirt. She really needed to learn when to stop talking. “What’s your name?” Y/N asked, trying to be polite. She didn’t really know what else to do. They were stuck in this cave and weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. 

“Katara.” she sat down across from Y/N, an arm’s length away. “And I already know yours.” She wasn’t too hard to read. She looked like the person who held all her emotions on her sleeve. She wasn’t mad at Y/N, she just looked suspicious of her. Y/N was sure she looked the same. They represented two sides of a war. Wait, could Y/N even say that anymore? Were they two opposing sides? Or side’s adjacent now?

“I guess I should say thank you?”

Y/N waved her away almost immediately and Katara looked grateful that she didn’t have to say anything else. Y/N picked her words carefully. “I think that we both helped each other.”

Katara raised one eyebrow and stayed silent. A clear indication she wanted Y/N to continue. Y/N sighed. “I was… planningonleaving,” she said it quickly, like the words would burn her mouth. It was the first time she admitted it outloud and it felt surprisingly nice. Like when you’re underwater running out of air and you finally reach the surface. “But, I couldn’t do it. I was scared of leaving. You gave me an opportunity to get away.” 

“Then why don’t you seem happy about it?” Katara’s face was so open, she looked like she genuinely wanted to hear about what Y/N was going through. She didn’t think she had ever met anyone like that before. 

“That’s the worst part of it.” Y/N whispered like there was someone around to hear her admit it. “I have regrets. Not everything but–and I know, I know it’s stupid of me to think that but, I just wish I had kept my mouth shut and done what she had told me to do.” Y/N put her head in her hands. How could feel like that? One minute she was weightless, the next moment she couldn’t breathe from the pressure in her chest. 

“Like kill me.” Katara frowned. 

“No.” Y/N recovered quickly. “That was never something I would have done. I—I thought that my guilt would be gone if I was, and it’s not.”

“Because that’s not how feelings work. You can’t just wish them away. They’re going to stay until you can let go of them.” 

“That’s...”  Probably true and definitely deeper than Y/N wanted to go. Because Y/N wanted to let go, so why hadn’t she? What were the claws of guilt hooked on? Where had everything gone wrong?

Neither of them slept fully that night. The cave had too much light for Y/N to feel like it was night time even though her body told her it was. Everytime she closed her eyes, she tossed and turned fitfully. She woke up from dozing one time and Katara was sitting up looking off in the distance with tired, unfocused eyes. Another time Y/N sat up and Katara was sleeping nearby, her head pillowed on her arms. The third time Y/N was jerked out of her sleep she swore she woke up to Azula’s voice but after looking around, realized that she wasn’t there. It felt like she was hallucinating, her dreams mixing with reality.  

The last time Y/N woke up it was for good. Her sleeves were covered in greasepaint from rolling around in her sleep, using her elbow as a pillow. Her stomach ached with hunger pangs. She leaned her head back against some rocks. “They could have at least given us food,” she groaned.

Katara’s stomach echoed her sentiment from where she was pacing with a low growl. She grimaced. “Maybe let’s not talk about food. It’ll only make it worse.”

Just then, above them, there was a loud rumbling as a rock was removed from the entrance of the tunnel they were dropped down from. Y/N went to stand next to Katara. They squinted up at the blinding light that came in through the hole. “You’ve got company,” One of the Dai Li shouted down to them. They watched as a figure was pushed and rolled down the tunnel to a stop at their feet. 

The red scar on his face was unmistakable. “Zuko!” 

Zuko pushed himself to his knees and scowled at them. Katara slowly started backing away from them. She looked between Zuko and Y/N defensively. Y/N could tell she was feeling outnumbered. “No, Katara wait–” Y/N started to say.

“What are you doing here?!” Zuko grabbed Y/N’s arm and turned her around to face him. 

She shook his hand off. “What?”

“Why are you here?” He asked again. “Is this one of Azula’s tricks?”

Y/N watched his mouth move and heard the words he said but Y/N just stared. Of course he wouldn’t know. Last thing he knew, Azula and her were joined at the hip. 

It seemed the answer was clear as day on her face. His eyes widened and then his face returned to his usual frown. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Y/N had taken a few steps back, creating a large distance between the two of them. She kept looking between him and Katara–who was eyeing them closely from across the cavern. 

“Had what?” she asked, confused.

“The ability to defy her.”

It was Y/N’s turn to scowl. “I’ve always had it in me,” she said defensively. “This is just the first time I’ve used it against her.”

She’d always had a streak of defiance. That’s what Azula liked about her in the first place. But all these years of being friends with her had made Y/N compliant and malleable because those were the types of friends Azula needed. Y/N’s rebellious streak of never listening to her teachers or parents had faded when she realized the kind of trouble it could get her into when you were friends with a young firebender with a temper. 

Zuko sat against a rock and set his head in his hands. Y/N noticed his hair was longer than before, scruffy looking. He didn’t look sad, just beaten. 

“I’m sorry,” Y/N blurted out. When both Katara and Zuko looked at her. She sighed inwardly. She hated that she had so many people to apologize to. She groaned and fisted her hands in her air. She paced back forth between them. “I’m sorry for… what do I even say? I’m sorry for chasing you around the Earth Kingdom and trying to capture you? I’m sorry for lying and being deceitful and… fuck!” Y/N kicked the toe of her boot into a rock. The sharp pain did nothing to distract her. Y/N didn’t know why it was so hard to find the words she wanted to say. 

Zuko didn’t look at her as he spoke. “Kind of hard to not do what the Fire Lord orders.”

“Well, you’re not the only one who was chasing after us.” Katara glared at Zuko.

Zuko glanced at Katara with his one good eye and looked back at his hands. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, I do! You’re always following us, hunting Aang, who is by the way, the world’s last hope for peace! You’re a terrible person. But what do you care? You’re the Fire Lord’s son. Spreading war, violence and hatred is in your blood.” 

None of this was directed at Y/N but she was rocked by the powerful words Katara spoke anyways. Every word she said rang true. The Avatar–Aang, was not someone who was meant to be captured, and Y/N was sure in this moment she couldn’t trust or fight for a Nation that wanted him all to themselves. She didn’t know how she didn’t see it before. 

Katara was crying softly in the corner she situated herself in. “The Fire Nation killed my mother. It doesn’t matter what you say, you can never tell me they’re fighting for good.”

Y/N felt a pang of sympathy for Katara. She hated seeing other people cry. She wanted to move closer and comfort her but she wasn’t sure how well that would be received. 

“I’m sorry.” Zuko lifted his head to look at Katara. 

She looked taken aback. She wiped her eyes and the three of them sat in companionable silence. Y/N felt so miserable for the three of them, sitting in a cavern together. Two sides of the war and one girl who was now stuck in the middle, looking for a way out of it all. Two, who had worked for and acted in place for those more powerful and had no choice in anything. And the one who took the hardships for it all. 

Y/N heard a rumbling over her right shoulder, and in an instant, the wall was knocked down. Through the rubble and dust she saw the Avatar and Iroh. 

“Aang!” Katara beamed. She ran and hugged him. “I knew you would come. 

Iroh walked over and hugged Zuko, which Y/N was surprised to see him return. “Uncle, I don’t understand. What are you doing with the Avatar?”

“Saving you, that’s what!” The Avatar quipped. 

Zuko snarled and Iroh had to hold him back. “I think we need to talk, Zuko.” Iroh nodded at The Avatar and Katara. “Go help your other friends. We’ll catch up!” 

The Avatar grabbed Katara's hand and they began jogging back through the tunnel he had made. 

Y/N looked between them, unsure of what to do with herself. She wasn’t friends with Katara, she was in fact better friends with Zuko, but it felt weird to stay, like she was listening in on a private conversation. But she thought they were starting to make some headway. They hadn’t tried to kill one another while locked in the catacombs yet. And she missed him, she wanted to stay with him, to see if she could make up for the mistakes she made while with Azula. 

“Y/N,” Katara called from the tunnel. “Come with us.” The Avatar stood next to her, looking at her like she had grown another head. 

Y/N looked at Zuko and Iroh, people she knew, people who were where she was from, people from home. “Why?”

“Where else are you going to go?” Katara asked. 

Y/N sent another look to Zuko. He looked like he wanted to say something, maybe tell her not to go with them, but he didn’t and Y/N ran off with Katara and the Avatar. 

They ran into a larger cavern, much like the one they were just in. Next to them was an aqueduct and from somewhere Y/N could hear trickling water filling it. 

“We’ve got to find Sokka and Toph!” Katara said to the Avatar. 

They were two steps ahead of her, and Y/N kept looking over her shoulder to see if Iroh and Zuko had caught up yet. Instead, she saw the last person she expected. 

“Duck!” She yelled. A ball of blue fire was blocked by a slab of Earth the Avatar brought up. Katara ran around the stone and used her bending to drag a wall of water up from the aqueduct and pummel Azula with it. Flames hit the water and evaporated it instantly. Y/N stuck behind the wall, feeling helpless in the fight. 

Azula jumped and ran across a row of crystals above them. Y/N noticed she was no longer wearing the Kyoshi warrior uniform. She was wearing a Dai Li uniform and had Y/N’s sword strapped to her back!

A white-hot streak of rage shot through Y/N. She didn’t even know how to use one and she was carrying Y/N’s around like a trophy! 

Azula jumped a small space between the crystals she was balanced on and a large tower of rock. She threw three fireballs at Katara and the Avatar who blocked it with a water shield above them. 

Azula landed in a crouch on a small ledge and as soon as the water fell around them, the Avatar used earthbending to knock the tower down. Azula jumped at the last minute to avoid being crushed and landed between Katara and him. 

Before a thought could even go through her mind, Y/N launched herself out from behind the rock and ran full speed at Azula. She hit her with a grunt and tackled her to the ground. They landed in a pile of writhing limbs. 

“Give it back!” Y/N screamed. She yanked her sword out from under Azula and kneeled on her chest, the sword posed over her throat. There was a beat, and then another. Every sound in the cavern was blocked out by the blood rushing in Y/N’s ears. She was elated to see the look of shock and terror that crossed Azula’s face. Y/N wasn’t able to enjoy it for long.

An explosion next to her knocked her of Azula and she went rolling away. It could only have come from one person. Zuko stood in the entrance of the cavern, still poised like he was ready to throw another fireball. The five of them looked between each other and Y/N broke into a smile when she saw him. 

But he didn’t return it. 

Suddenly, he threw a fire punch at the Avatar.

He blocked it with a gust of wind but was still thrown backwards from the force of it. Upon seeing her brother fight for her, Azula began a fight with Katara. 

And Y/N just watched it all unfold in front of her, helpless in the bending war that was going on. 

Zuko threw fire-punch after fire-punch at the Avatar. She could see the anger in his eyes as The Avatar evaded the flames each time using earthbending and airbending to jump and weave around fireballs. He bowled over Zuko with a large gust of wind and jumped to perch on a crystal at the top of the cavern. Zuko yelled in frustration and jumped to his feet. 

He set his feet and threw the largest fireball she’d ever seen him make at the Avatar. He bent the crystals around him but the energy from the fire still hit it, knocking him into the cavern wall. He jumped around the top of the cavern on ledges, avoiding Zuko’s fire whips. He used earthbending to knock a stalactite down from the ceiling, causing Zuko to dive to the side. 

Azula was having just as much luck as her brother. Katara had waterbent shackles around one of Azula’s arms and one of her legs. She tried to yank out of their grasp but there was no use. 

Y/N thought back to a time when seeing her be incapacitated would have scared her, she would run to Azula’s aid even if it was the middle of danger. Now, she just watched as she struggled. 

Suddenly, the shackles were cut away with fire and Zuko jumped in the fight, and Y/N saw her chance. 

She jumped in, ducking under a fire whip. She sliced at his leg and cut Zuko. He stumbled a bit and threw fire at her that was quickly extinguished by Katara’s water. Together they worked to push Zuko further back, Y/N waving her sword around in his face, occasionally catching some skin and Katara extinguishing any flame that got too close to Y/N. With Y/N as a distraction, Katara was able to encase one of his arms in water. He thrust the other in Y/N’s face but she carved upward with her sword and cut the middle of his palm. He winced and pulled it to his chest. 

All of a sudden, Azula jumped down from above Y/N and shot a fire blast at her. She jumped away but the edge of her Kyoshi dress caught fire. She patted it out quickly and looked to see that Azula had turned on Katara, shooting fire blasts her way. She was forced to let go of Zuko’s trapped hand to defend herself. Y/N ran to Katara reaching her just in time for her to throw a water shield around them. With the onslaught of fire from Azula and Zuko though, the shield busted and they were thrown into the rocks. 

Y/N’s vision went fuzzy. She could tell something was happening in front of her but her eyes wouldn’t focus and the ringing in her ears was too loud. She felt something warm roll down the side of her face. What was that? Next to her, Katara was lying motionless, her hair loosened from it’s braid. Y/N reached out and shook the other girl’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Katara, we have to get up.” She groaned and blinked her eyes open. 

Y/N grabbed her wrist and pulled Katara to her feet. They were instantly surrounded by Dai Li agents. Katara pulled water from the aqueduct and encircled them with it. She flared her hands out and tentacle-like projections waved around them. Y/N hefted her sword but it hadn’t been much use and it still wouldn't be when the Dai Li trapped her like a stone mummy.

On the other side of the aqueduct, the Avatar faced down Azula and Zuko and more Dai Li agents. There were too many of them for the three of them to fight off. She watched as he turned away from them and created a crystal tent. Then, the crystal tent began to glow. 

It was blinding. The crystals exploded and the Avatar rose in the air. Everyone stopped to look in awe. Y/N saw now that it was him glowing, his eyes and tattoos lit up the cavern like a small sun.

And then the lightning hit. The Avatar’s body jerked in the air as lightning coarsed through him. Someone screamed. It might have been her, but Y/N wasn’t sure. And he fell. 

Katara didn’t miss a beat as she created a large wave that flooded the cavern, knocked over most of the Dai Li and carried the two of them to the Avatar. She caught him before he hit the ground. She held him like he weighed nothing, his clothes were torn and burnt. Y/N couldn’t tell if he was alive or dead. Katara looked up at Y/N with tears in her eyes. Y/N’s face was wet too; she knew what she had to do. She turned her back on them. 

Last stand it is, she thought to herself as she raised her sword against the army of benders in front of her. But a wall of fire blocked them from attacking. 

Iroh jumped down in front of Y/N. “You have to get out of here. I’ll hold them off as long as I can!” 

Y/N grabbed the Avatar’s other arm and threw it over her shoulder. Together, her and Katara dragged his limp body to the waterfall where she bent the water and lifted them up. 

They landed in the grass behind the palace. High above them, circling like they were looking for something was the Avatar’s sky bison and the rest of his friends. 

Y/N stood and waved her hands above her head. “HEY!” she screamed. “Over here!!” 

Someone on the sky bison heard her and they turned their way. 

Y/N faced Katara. She was still holding the Avatar in her arms. Her hand shook as she pushed his shirt aside and looked at the wound on his chest. It was red and laced outwards like tendrils of smoke. Y/N looked away. 

She grabbed one of Katara’s hands. “You can heal him.” If she was as good of a healer as she was a fighter, the Avatar would be fine. 

“I–” 

“You can.”

The sky bison landed next to them and Katara and Y/N lifted the Avatar up to Katara’s brother to be pulled on. 

He grabbed Katara’s arm first and pulled her up onto the bison. He looked down at Y/N’s outstretched hand and hesitated. But then he grabbed it anyways. They needed to get out of here, they needed miles and miles between them and Ba Sing Se and Y/N was coming with them whether he protested it later or not.

A/N: so there she is!! I might have unintentionally lied and said that we have sokka x y/n content in this part. I planned on this actually being longer but I was too tired to continue this one any more and I feel like Y/N and Sokka talking in a brand new part would be better. Also! It was so hard to write a non-bender in this fight?? Let me know what you guys think!! ❤️❤️

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Taglist: @myexgirlfriendisthemoon​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @astroninaaa​ @bubblebars​ @beifongsss​ @crownofcryptids @welovediaaxx​ @littlefluu​ @lozzybowe​ @thebluelcdy​ @ohjustlookalive @sugarmoongey​ @fanficdepot​ @teenbiology​ @13-09-01​ @riespage​ @davnwillcome​ @naanlianid​ @creation-magician​ @lunariasilver​ @vintagerose1014516 

[constantlyunlightening]

Quiet

Day 10: Public Places w/ Shoto Todoroki

Warnings/Other Kinks: Bratty Dom, cum play (i guess that’s what I’m gonna tag it as), panties in mouth

If you haven’t read my Shoto Todoroki NSFW headcannons, you should. Cuz this is in line with my bratty dom theories. Is he dumb or being a smartass? Who knows?

Anyway, Shoto is super fun to write. I really liked doing this one and I hope you guys like it too!

Disclaimers: 18+ years old to read, all characters are aged 20+

He told you the next time you wore that dress in public, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back. You had taken it as a compliment at the time, not a threat.

But on the day where the two of you were supposed to be heading to some fancy hero event, you found that specific dress laid out on your bed waiting for you. Honestly, you thought the gesture was adorable! Was Shoto picking out an outfit he wanted you in? You had simply forgotten all about what he had said last time.

So you put the dress on. 

It wasn’t until after the two of you mingled around the event a while before he pulled you to a corner and you heard his deep voice dance against your ear. “So you wore it? Remember what I said last time?” His voice bounced in your skull and the hand that heated up at your waist quickly jogged your memory. “I warned you.”

And with that, he dragged you away at the nearest opportunity and shoved you into a supply closet. That’s how you ended up with your dress hiked over your hips and Shoto fucking you into the walls of the tiny closet. 

You’re pretty sure the two of you had knocked something off the closet shelf in your flurry, but the cock pounding you into the wall made it really damn hard to think. Shoto had his head dipped down, lips and teeth and tongue attacking the flash that stretched your collar bone as he tightened his grip on your thighs. You were clawing at his back, trying to bite the inside of your cheek but the way he was tearing into you made it so hard to keep your noises down.

“Sho-shoto,” an urgent, whine of a whisper was all you could manage to hiss out without screaming. “I- if I make too much noise, we’re going to get caught.” A tangle of words, ushered out as quickly as possible to keep you from yelping as he speared deep into you.

He didn’t pause his hips, but he did pause the ministrations he had been trailing over you, only so he could look up at you with hues of smoke and frost. It was almost vexing how calm he looked. You were falling apart and other than the beads of sweat rolling down his face and a few labored pants. “Then stay quiet?” He offered, as if the solution were obvious. As if you could keep quiet with the hero pounding you senseless. 

With a raspy groan, you covered your mouth with a hand you detangled from his shirt and shook your head as his length rocked against your insides, slipping in and out much too snugly. “I-I cant-”

You couldn’t tell if the way he stared at you silently was him trying to actually access the situation or was him just hiding his smirk. Was he being a smartass with a poker face right now? Or was he genuinely racking his brain for a solution. You’ve been dating this man for how long now? And you still had no idea as to if he was the smartest person you knew or the dumbest. 

You weren’t ever going to find out you were pretty sure. Especially not right now with your whole body vibrating in need. 

He pulled out of you, and the seemingly randomness of it had you trying to suppress a yelp as your body strained with the sudden emptiness, trying to clamp over nothing. “Sho- what are you doing?” Your voice sounded pathetic even to your own ears as Shoto released your thighs, gently settling you back onto the ground. Had he decided to stop? Had the solution to her not making noise was to just be done? He sure didn’t seem frustrated at all but it wouldn’t be unlike him to leave you hanging and pretend like he was doing it to actually help. Or maybe he did think he was actually helping? Either way. He can’t just fuck the air out of you and stop! He couldn’t!

In your panic you failed to realize he had been working on tugging off your panties from underneath your dress  balling them up in his hands. You opened your mouth to question his actions again but in the next moment, the balled up lace was in your mouth. A muffled noise strangled out around it as Shoto was once again grabbing your thighs, and dragging you right back up against the wall and in the air. “I didn’t have a gag,” he stated simply as a small smile came to his lips. It looked so tender. But you couldn’t help but think it felt rather conniving. “It had a wet spot on it, so I know it tastes good too. But you can take it out if you think you can keep quiet on your own.”

The break without him inside you had been just long enough that the pleasure had mellowed out and left you with an ache-y opening from his earlier attack. And so when his head pushed back in, the sensitivity had you absolutely choking on your makeshift gag. You knew for a fact you wouldn’t be able to keep the noise down on your own. Shoto seemed well aware of this too as he slowly began to resheath himself in your heat, letting you adjust to the painful sensitivity and let your need build back up with each and every inch of him plugging into you. Again, that sweet smile had reached his lips as he got himself buried balls deep. “See? It worked.”

He seemed self satisfied. And it was hard to argue with saliva starting to pool at the back of your throat, dampening the lacey gag. Your hands were free. You could have reached out and removed it, but Shoto decided it was time to return to that pace from earlier without any warning. His hips were snapping up and you felt like you could feel him all the way to your stomach as he rocked you against the wall. You could no longer think about the way you could taste yourself on your panties, couldn’t think about how anyone could catch you two locked away in the closet, couldn’t think at all actually. You couldn’t even fucking see as your eyes rolled back into your skull.

He wasn’t kissing your neck anymore, but instead, focusing on watching your face contort into pleasure and you knew for a fact he was messing with you when he spoke up again with that same steady cadence. “Your eyes are looking weird. What’s wrong?” He questioned, concern etching his voice but he knew. He had made you make this face all the time and maybe he had been concerned the first couple but now he knew. Now he was just doing his very best to get under your skin as you helplessly wriggled your hips down onto him. “Should I stop?”

This little shit.

Don’t you dare! You tried to snap out at him but all that you could get out of your mouth garbled around the fabric and you felt a burst of drool dribble down your chin as you whined and huffed. And Shoto, your loving, caring, sweet, sweet partner found it within himself to fucking laugh. This man who had the poker face of a statue managed to find his sense of humor at your expense while he was balls deep inside of you. It wasn’t a boisterous laugh, hardly more than a chuckle but it was more than he usual produced. And the real kicker was, you were too senseless to even fully enjoy it right now. In contrast to the urgency in which he speared into you, he managed to let a hand move up to help clear the dribble off your face with his thumb before he regained his grasp on your thigh and continued wildly knocking your thoughts out of your head.

“I won’t stop unless you ask me to,” he murmured in reassurance as he dipped his head back down, and you missed the growl he let out against your skin as you trembled and writhed around him. He would have loved to take more time with you, but the event put you at a limit and he wasn’t about to leave his precious lover empty handed. 

He was about to leave you utterly full in fact. 

With the force from his speed keeping you suspended in place, his hand found a spot above your folds and the pad of his thumb found that sweet spot of yours fairly quickly. He groaned deeply in response to the muffled keening you gave off as he rolled your clit under his finger and as he teased and toyed and rammed his cock into your cervix, you gave in to an orgasm that rocked your whole body and he lost himself in tandem. You were filling up with sticky heat as Shoto left one last love bite against the expanse of your shoulder and your body milked him for every drop of his worth. He had to collect himself before he could slowly pull out of you, watching a drop of his essence plop on the ground beneath you.

You were shuddering as he carefully lowered you to the ground, trying to inhale deeper but choking on the concoction of saliva and lace. Shoto was kind enough to help fish out the soiled undergarments and let you flounder for air. 

“Are you alright?” Real concern this time as he brushed the hair out of your face and you were met with that combo of smog and snow as his gaze met yours. 

You slowly managed to nod your head but as you caught your breath and came to your senses, a few realizations hit you at once.

You were still in public.

And you were now filled with wet cum that was starting to leak down your inner thighs.

You moved to clench and you gave a loud whine. “Shoto! Why did you do that? I can’t clean up here.”

He blinked and his head tilted to the side and stared down at you. “Do what?”

Was he for real?

“You- its all up inside me now! How am I supposed to walk around right now? Why couldn’t you have picked somewhere we could wipe down?” You scolded quietly, embarrassment flooding through you at the thought of walking through the party like this. Then you spotted the damp pair of panties Shoto was holding in his hands and another flare of emotions ran through you. You groaned.

“I figured we didn’t want to make a mess in here. Was I wrong?” His brows furrowed and now you were left to believe that he seriously just didn’t think about the implications of his girlfriend having to walk around the rest of the evening filled with his load, and a pair of soaked underwear.

Or maybe his poker face was really just that good.