#this is definitely the longest fic i have ever worked on...!!! i think. i don't wanna check my old ao3 from years ago because I will Cringe

[umbracirrus]

Damn.

The Perfect Storm just hit 100 pages in my word document.

[sharky-teeth]

top dean/bottom sam fics that perfectly exemplify why bottom sam is the best (the list got kind of super long because i'm just too passionate about this topic):

take the things you love by hathfrozen: i think everybody and their grandma knows this one but i had to include it, this is our gospel. literally changed my life.

mommy dearest by tradwifesam: if you don't like feminization, read this and see the vision.

Softly, as a morning sunrise by LaughableLament: one of my go-to authors for fun and short PWPs.

Noise Complaint by formalizing: a lesson on how to make a thousand words count!

Coast On Through by philalethia: this actually contains switching, but when i tell you it has some of the best samdean scenes ever...

Feel About the Same Most Every Day: pining that you can feel in your bones.

Like a Machine by ani_coolgirl: camboy!sam perfection.

Untouchable for Life by Sintari: another one for my camboy!sam enthusiasts.

Undertow by Molly: starts out angsty and ends with psychic sex vibes, what's not to love?

Birthday Boy by DickBaggins: sam's ass is dean's birthday present, need i say more?

Keeping it Clean by themegalosaurus: swesson filth <3

this thing, for which we break by orbiting_saturn: intense and intimate, as PWP as it comes.

Sweltering by WhoopsOK: brothers with benefits done right. slutty sam as a treat!

weecest:

With A Bit Of Spit And Luck by elsi: in my top 5 weecest of all time, which is saying something because the competition is crazy.

Bulletproof by road_rhythm: gunplay! incredible characterization, if you have a kink for guilty dean who's unable to stop himself, and pushy sammy, this is the one.

Heart of Worms by Ninni: very moody, and beautifully written.

Petulant by formalizing: another short read that hits all the right spots and leaves you wanting more.

and all is right in Dean's world by ladygizarme: loved dean's characterization here, he left me feeling unsettled.

for those like me who need some jokes with your p*rn:

The Koala Conundrum by De_Nugis: (mentions of switching) to this day, one of the most unique & refreshing stories i've read, an absolute masterpiece.

the one with aphrodisiac: this one managed to be hilarious and hot in equal measure, an amazing feat.

Incidentally, It Was Christmas by ani_coolgirl: one of my favorite fics of the year! ani's humor is impeccable! if you also believe in the sam-sexual dean truth, this is a must read.

Tongue-Tied by ADeedWithoutaName: cursed!dean unable to speak, and sam speaking for both of them, you know where this goes...

Dicks in a Box by fictionallemons: buried alive and how do sam and dean decide to spend their time? it ain't cuddling!

Versatile, Tender and Delicious by themegalosaurus: improper use of a zucchini. read and find out.

for my omega sam lovers:

Five Weeks & its sequel Three Weeks Too Late by rei_c: probably my favorite wincest a/b/o of all time! i could've read 100k of this universe, loved the details put into it.

A Blind Fool's Luck by hellhoundsprey: this is also a favorite! i remember the tension in this fic had me dizzy. this author has an incredible way with descriptions, vivid and unique writing style.

Phantom Pain by hellhoundsprey: weecest! love their dynamic here so much, great blending of a/b/o traits while keeping them in character.

Clover by hellhoundsprey: perfectly done late seasons getting together! with the right amount of schmoop. clearly this author is very dear to me lol

know the feeling by sammyatstanford: this is the longest work in this list, around 40k words, and so worth it! really enjoyed the worldbuilding.

now to my favorite flavor (bottom sam with a side of delicious angst):

Lesser Evils by Dyed_Red: [non-con] not for everyone, but definitely for me. if you love samdean at odds and suffering, this will push all the right buttons. life-changing fic.

Is It Tomorrow (Or Just the End of Time) by elsi: the angst here is so glorious. from beginning to end it's angst, angst, then more angst. there is no resolution to their issues, and i love that.

Collision Course by lovetincture: one of the most believable first time stories i've read, spot on characterization and raw descriptions. didn't shy away from the ugly side of incest.

You can run away with me any time you want by Trojie: sam leaving for stanford fic! oh this one hurts like a motherfucker. there's a line in here that's so beautiful, it lives in my brain.

his skin barely keeping him inside by hathfrozen: another banger by hathfrozen, i have a weak spot for first time in a long time stories.

No such thing as Forgiveness by hellhoundsprey: lawyer!sam getting his life sent off track when big brother comes back to the picture... the unhealthy dynamic here is to die for.

Blood sacrifice sex magic type of thing by Goshen: sam performing ritual sex to cure his demon brother... as he should.

Worship Not These False Idols by killabeez: ruby fucking sam while pretending to be dean. as amazing as it sounds.

Circles of Light by WhoopsOK: there is a "Magical Healing Ass" tag. enough said

end of list! i tried to only include works with less than 10k hits here, so someone might find something they haven't read before. i didn't include warnings, so definitely check out the tags first. all these fics are seriously amazing, i hope more people will read these gems <3

[lucy90712]

Can you please make a hector fort fic where he spends all his time with his friends and spends barely time with her. Then they were supposed to go on a date together and she waits for him to pick her up, she waits for 2 hours and goes to social media to see if he has posted anything and sees on his story a picture of him and her girl bestfriend having fun playing games. So she leaves the house with her stuff. When hector comes home he realises what he has done and tries to get back in contact with her but he fails. They don't see each other for a while but he notices her walking on a busy street and tries to talk to her. (ending with fluff please)

You: good morning amor hope training goes well don't forget about our plans tonight I'll be waiting for you 

Hector: have fun in class and don't worry I'll be there at 7 as promised 

You: love you 

That was the last I heard from Hector and now it's 8:32pm and he's still not here to pick me up. He promised he promised me he'd be here and that he'd make up for us not spending any time together. I should've seen it coming as he's been doing this for weeks he's promised time and time again that he will come over or we'll go on a date and then he never shows up. When I can finally get hold of him he always has an excuse either he was busy or with friends and lost track of time but whatever it is it hurts. I've done so much for Hector I've been there for him since we were kids and I've been there for every good and bad moment of his football career but he can't even manage to show up for one day or just to see me for an hour. 

We made the jump from being friends to being a couple just over a year ago and for the longest time he was the best boyfriend ever he treated me so well was super attentive and really made an effort to be romantic and take me on dates. I don't remember exactly when it changed I think it happened slowly over time but ever since he's started playing with the first team more he's been busier with training and matches which I understand but what I don't understand is spending every evening with his teammates who he sees all day when he could see me. It might sound selfish but I just miss my boyfriend he's already missed so much like he wasn't here when I was stressed over my big exams and he wasn't here when I got the results and he wasn't here when I needed him most when my mum went into hospital and I was scared and panicking. Just a few months ago he'd never dream of leaving my side during any of those times but now he barely knows they even happened. 

I text him once then twice then three times then I called multiple times but they all went unanswered. My last resort was to message him on Instagram as I know he won't have turned the notifications off for that but I didn't need to message him Instagram gave me my answer straight away. He had posted on his story showing him out with his friends and my best friend was with them too which was a whole other level of pain. My best friend knows all about my troubles with Hector yet she went out with him and his friends anyway and didn't even bother to tell me. That was the final straw I'm not dealing with this anymore I deserve better I deserve someone who will be there for me, not break promises and definitely not someone who makes me feel like this. 

My mind was racing but I quickly worked out what I wanted to do so I grabbed my keys and got in my car. Seeing as Hector wasn't in I decided now is the perfect time to go and get all the things I have at his place and leave the spare key I have that he gave me ages ago because I won't be needing it anymore. When I opened the door I immediately saw all the little things of mine there are that makes Hector's place feel just like my own some of my books are on his coffee table and my hair ties on the sideboard by the door. I spent some time grabbing all my things while trying not to cry that I was losing my boyfriend who I thought was the love of my life. Before I left I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Hector a note to tell him his I felt and why I was leaving and then put my key with it. Closing the door I felt like I was closing a chapter in my life a chapter I never wanted to close and one that's going to stay with me for a long time but it has to be done. 

Hector's POV

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment it felt weirdly empty like was something wrong but the door was locked and nothing looked like it has been stolen. Still I had a quick look around and then I noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. Next to it was a key and that's when I realised what was wrong all of y/n's things were gone her books, her hair ties and all of the little things she leaves here were gone and this is her key that's now in my hand not with her like it should be. I knew the note would be from her but I didn't need to read it to know what was going on and what I'd done. I had promised to see her tonight as I've forgotten about the last few dates we've planned but I did it again my friends dragged me out after training and then I got carried away and forgot about the most important part of my day proving to y/n that I will do better. I really didn't want to read the note but I knew I had to I owe her that at the very least.

Dear Hector, 

I have left my key and taken my things because I'm done. I'm done because tonight we were supposed to go out you promised you'd pick me up at 7 and you promised you wouldn't forget like you have been for the last few months but you did. Instead of trying to prove to me that you love me and that the last few months have just been an anomaly you went out with your friends and my best friend leaving me waiting for you, calling and texting you until I saw your story. I can't do this anymore I love you but I can't let you treat me like this so I'm calling it here. I've really enjoyed the last year or so we've spent together but it's time for us to move on as clearly we aren't meant to be. 

I love you and probably will for the rest of my life but this is goodbye. 

Y/n xx

Those words hurt to read. I already knew I fucked up but to see the words written in front of me made it truly hit me how much I'd hurt her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me she was always there for everything no matter what she's been by my side through every up and down and I truly thought she'd be there for everything for the rest of our lives. I wanted her there for every achievement in my career and I wanted to be there for all of her achievements too. She was the one I didn't need anyone else I didn't want anyone else but now she's left me and I don't have my person anymore and I may never have her again. 

After the initial shock I tried to text her to see if I could apologise but she had already blocked me so I tried Instagram but she had blocked me on there too. I should've seen it coming but it upset me that I wouldn't be able to reach out to her and try and make things right or at least tell her how sorry I am for fucking this all up so badly. She's gone and it's all my fault that's what hurts the most if I hadn't been such an idiot then we'd still be together but no I had to go and ruin things with the best woman in the world. 

A few weeks later

Life has been hell for the last few weeks I've really missed y/n I've missed having her sat in the stands during matches and I've definitely missed seeing her. She's been in my life for the longest time not just as my girlfriend but as my friend so not having her in my life anymore and so suddenly as well has been really hard. I've definitely not been myself all of the guys keep asking if I'm ok and I tell them I am but we all know it's a lie they know how much I love y/n and they can see how it's destroyed me to lose her. I've tried time and time again to reach out to her but of course I'm still blocked I even text her best friend to get her to talk to y/n but she says she hasn't seen her or had any of her texts answered either so I have no way of telling her that I'm sorry. 

Everyone keeps telling me I need to try and move on and they're right it's just hard everything reminds me of y/n whenever I go anywhere I see places that we've been on dates to or just places we have memories at. Today I'm going to stop myself from moping about and go for a walk to clear my head as that's what I think I need to be able to move on or at least start to. I decided to go to the nearest park and walk around as it's relaxing and it should be quiet there which is what I need. 

The park was pretty empty there was a few people around; one couple with their baby an older couple feeding the birds and a girl who was sat on a bench with a book. The girl reminded me of y/n her hair was the same colour and reading in the park is something she loved to do. As I walked closer I realised that it actually was y/n she had headphones in and the book she'd been reading in her hands like she so often did when I went to see her. Seeing her made me stop in my tracks I didn't know whether to go and talk to her or just leave her be but then I realised this is my chance to talk to her and get closure at the very least. 

Your POV

Being without Hector has been hard I've missed feeling his touch and having him next to me when I sleep. So many times I've wanted to take it all back and run back to him but I know I can't or he'll think he can treat me like that again or someone else and I can't let that happen. Today is Wednesday which is the day that I had free from classes and usually I would spend all day with Hector so I've been sat at home all day thinking about him but I can't keep doing that so I needed to get outside. To give me something to do I walked to the park with my book. I found a bench with a nice view of the trees and the little pond with a few ducks and let myself forget about the real world. 

I was so in my own world that I didn't notice when someone sat next to me to start with until they sighed which brought me out of my trance. When I looked to my side I think I turned as white as a ghost because Hector was sat next to me with a look of pure sadness on his face. It took a few seconds for my brain to begin functioning again but when it did I leapt up and tried to run away. I'm not ready to face him again not when I've been trying so hard to forget about him and move on I blocked him and separated myself from him so I wouldn't have to do this. Before I could get more than a few steps away Hector placed a hand on my arm he didn't pull me back he didn't even hold my arm tightly but having his hand on me stopped me dead in my tracks. He encouraged me to sit back down so I did and I watched as his hand moved off my arm down to my hand which he held tightly in his grasp so I couldn't run again. 

"Hector" I started to say 

"No please let me talk" he interrupted 

"Ok but you have five minutes then I'm leaving" I said

"I'm sorry and I know move said that a lot recently but I really mean it when I got home and saw the note you left it broke me having all of your stuff gone from my apartment made it feel empty and not being able to see or talk to you has killed me I've missed you so much and I'll do anything to make it up to you" he said 

"How do I know that you actually mean it and that you'll actually change I told you how disappointed I was a million times and every time you told me you wouldn't forget the next time and then you always did it's like I wasn't important to you anymore how do I know that'll change" I said 

"I know I was an awful boyfriend but losing you has taught me a lot I know I can't treat you like that and I'd never dream of doing it again this might seem to much but you are truly the one for me I don't want to ever be with anyone else so please give me a another chance and I promise I'll do better and if I don't I'll let you go" he said 

"Ok but this is your last chance if you miss any date or anything without telling me and giving me a valid reason we're done" I said 

"I'll never miss a date ever again don't worry" he said 

"I can't lie I'm glad to have you back I've missed you so much it really hurt to walk away" I said

"And you'll never have to walk away again I'm here to stay" he said 

He pulled me into his side and leant down to kiss my lips which felt so good as I've missed having him by my side and I've definitely missed kissing him. He let me sit and finish the chapter I was reading before we left the park and went back to his place as he wanted to make things up to me straight away by having a movie date at home which he knows are my favourite. He's definitely off to a good start at making things up to me but honestly I'm just happy to have him back by my side. 

[covenha]

Synopsis: Sunoo realizes that his love language is acts of service. Pairings: sunoo x fem!reader Genre: fluff! so much fluff I got cavities from writing this WC: 1356 Warnings: mentions of academic stress and insomnia a/n: I had fun writing this one, really had to destress from all the studying I've been doing these past few days so this fic is a lil self-indulgent whoops. anyway, this is also a work of fiction so don't forget to touch some grass after reading! lmao jk but as always feedback and reblogs are always deeply appreciated! and requests are open so if you guys want me to write something lmk :))

Sunoo can admit, he always felt like he was pampered.

It’s not like he didn’t like it. Heck, he enjoyed the feeling of his members being attentive to him. The way that Jay cooks meat just the way he likes it. The way that Jake lets him get away with mistakes in his grammar because it’s just “part of his charm.” Or, the way that Jungwon always let him have a few bites of his sweets even though Sunoo definitely said he didn’t want to order one of his own. 

Which is why it was such a refreshing feeling to be with you. He never really knew what his love language was until he met you. So here are the three times that made him realize his love language was acts of service.

It was late at night, midterms were coming up and things were not looking up for you. With so many enzymes to memorize and so many cascades to internalize, if you had to look at one more diagram with arrows one more time, you were simply going to go clinically insane. 

“Why won’t this get in my head?! Who even named these stupid enzymes? Argininosuccinate synthetase? Sounds like something Elon Musk would name his child.” You bonk your head with your notebook, clearly on the brink of insanity. 

“Hey,” Sunoo’s soft voice cuts through your inner monologue. “You doing okay? Is it the krebs cycle again?” You sigh.

“There’s just so much to study for, I don’t think I can cram it all inside my goldfish brain.” You pout at the notes scattered across the desk in the room. 

“Hey, babe, you don’t have a goldfish brain. C’mon, you’re one of the smartest people I know.” Sunoo starts to get up from his lying position on the bed. 

“You don’t have to get up, Sun. I can manage this on my own, just need to whine about it first.” You give him a little smile while shrugging your shoulders. 

Sunoo drags the bean bag chair at the corner of the room and sets it right beside you. 

“Okay, we have a few hours before your exam. We can work with this. We just need to mix some active recall into the review!” Sunoo beams up at you as he lay in the bean bag, notebook in hand. 

And for the rest of the night, and well into the morning, Sunoo helps you study for your godawful Chemistry midterm. The look you had when you got back your results, passing your midterms exams with the brightest smile on your face, he just knew that he had to protect that smile.

One thing that Sunoo learned about you quickly was that you loved to drink matcha. Sure, to him it tastes like grass, but he liked mint chocolate things so who was he to judge? You loved going to this cafe two blocks from your apartment, it was owned by an old Taiwanese couple who immigrated a couple years ago. You were one of their longest regulars. So it was quite upsetting to find out that they were closing up shop for good.

Ever since that cafe closed, you have tried looking around for the next best matcha but, sadly, none have come close to beating their matcha latte. One month into the search and you had all but given up on your matcha latte dreams. That was until one day you woke up to the smell of green tea in your kitchen. 

“Sunoo? What’s that smell?” You nose around the hallway leading to the kitchen. 

And much to your surprise, a glass of green goodness is being served up on the kitchen island. 

“Sunoo? Is this what I think it is?” You ask in surprise at what you see. You go up to him and hug his side. He throws his arms around your waist, hugging your form. 

“Well, I know you’ve been looking for a matcha latte replacement and haven’t found one yet, so I decided to do a little digging. Asked for their recipe and tried to make it myself. I hope it tastes okay.” He mushes his cheek against your head then smiles down at you. 

“Sunoo, you really didn’t have to do this….” You look up at him. You felt all warm and fuzzy. 

“Well, I can’t have my little girlfriend go for too long without her matcha latte. She’s gonna start tweaking.” He teases. You just poke his cheek and decide to taste his drink. 

You knew that whatever it tasted like, you were going to love it anyway. But one sip of the green drink and you felt your heart soar at the familiar taste. 

“Sunoo, this tastes amazing!” You look back at him with a surprised look in your eyes. 

“Really?”

“No, really! Like it tastes just like how they make it. How did you pull this off? I’m actually so impressed right now you don’t even understand.” You keep taking sips of the drink, savoring the green tea goodness. It feels like an old friend has come back from the dead.

“Well, I actually found the son of the owners and emailed him asking for the recipe. I really didn’t expect to hear anything back from him but he surprisingly gave in.” He smiled. His heart felt like it could burst from the compliments you gave him. 

“This is too much. You didn’t really have to do all this for some silly drink that I like, noo.” You put down the drink and hug him. 

“But I wanted to. Really, if it means seeing you happy I’d go to Taiwan myself and ask for their recipe.” He kisses your cheek. You sigh at this. 

“You’re just the best.” You hug him tighter. He beams at this and you guys revel in each other’s warmth. 

It was going to be “one of those nights” you feared. Sleep had yet to take over your body despite the many hours of tossing and turning in your shared bed. Sunoo lay beside you, soft snores and even breaths coming from his side of the bed. Deciding that you were not going to be sleeping anytime soon, you get up from the bed and head to the kitchen. 

You trudge towards the kitchen and grab a glass of water. You look up at a clock to check the time, 2:37 AM. You decide to do some cleaning up in the kitchen to pass the time. As you are wiping down a surface in the fridge, Sunoo’s voice startles you.

“y/n? What are you doing up?” You jump a little as Sunoo makes his presence known. He notices this and softly apologizes. 

“Couldn’t really sleep. So I decided on kitchen duty.” You motion to your gloved hand wiping down the fridge shelves. “Sorry if I woke you up. You can go back to bed. I’ll finish up in a bit and try to fall asleep again.” 

He silently walks up to you hugging you from behind. Then he mumbles something into your hair that you don’t quite catch. 

“Noo?” You ask him to repeat himself.

“Wanna go get some ice cream?” 

So that’s how you end up buying ice cream at a convenience store at 3 AM. As you guys walk back to your apartment, Sunoo looks down at you happily snacking on your ice cold treat. Your ruddy cheeks from the cold autumn breeze nipping at them, your tired eyes from the lack of sleep, and your hair haphazardly thrown into a bun. 

“What is it?” You ask him, noticing how silent he is.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. 

“Is there something on my face?” You motion towards your face. 

Sunoo just smiled at himself, telling you that there was nothing on your face. And as the two of you neared the entrance to your apartment he mulled over some thoughts. Even though he was munching on some mint chocolate ice cream, which he could argue was one of life’s best delicacies. He thought that maybe, no surely, he liked being the reason you smile a whole lot more. 

[haologram]

altair's 2024 wrapped!

— naturally, i got fomo. everyone was tagging me, and those who didn't tag me had such good spreads. as we see 2024 come to a close, i cannot say how happy i am to be done with this shitty year. however, good things did come out of it: i finally allowed myself to be dragged into caratland after casually stanning for the last five years, and i've succumbed to the fact that i write too many words per oneshot. 2025 resolution: get a grip! — thank you to everyone who has supported my writing in this year, though i've only posted a few works on this blog (as well as on @babeyun), but i am eternally grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. here's to 2024, i'm glad you're over soon. 2025, be kind, i beg. — if you've been tagged: you're likely either one of the reader reviews, one of my favorite reads or i'm tagging you so you can do this too! thank you for reading this. — all my love, altair. ♡

— 2024 fic stats:

— total words published: 130k!! — number of fics posted: 5 (trust me, 2025 i will post more!) — number of wips: 13 (like...ones that are actively being written.)

— most popular fics of 2024:

— first place: how to be a latin lover - joshua hong [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 16 september. — notes: 633 — favorite reader reactions: "i skipped a class to read this and I don't regret it one bit" by @aloeshit || ""Ah, ah, ah! We need to speak, Miss Y/N. Turn around." - the tension in this one line.. I GASPED.. i had to close my tabs because of how much this one line got me and it was just the beginning stages.." by @tusswrites || @mingycr's entire reblog, it was my first ever review like that and i cried. — comments from the author: this fic was my debut onto caratblr! i still cannot believe that people liked it, but i put so much effort into this as both a latin spanish speaker and for my namesake.

— second place: araneae - kwon soonyoung [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 3 october. — notes: 543 — favorite reader reactions: "i locked the fuck in for this one an hour later i’m crying" by my dearest @mercif4l || "i also liked the aquarium scene, 'which one are you? the male one' lol" by @flowershu — comments from the author: funnily enough, this fic is one i'm not entirely satisfied with, but i love it endlessly. i love love love writing hoshi, he's such a diverse character and it makes me emotional as fuck sometimes.

— third place: stairway to the stars - lee jihoon [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 23 december. — notes: 514 — favorite reader reactions: @monamipencil's entire reblog, as the drabble was literally for her LOL || "need to grab Jihoon by the neck and shake him like a maraca" by my beloved @gyuswhore — comments from the author: the way i was FIGHTING to keep this under 1.5k was INSANE. i fear that i cut it off right at the highest tension and kept the shitty smut for myself because why are you looking at my man?

— longest fic of 2024:

unforgiven - boo seungkwan [x fem!reader]

— posted: 29 november. — word count: 40,812 words! — favorite reader reactions: the entire reblog by @diamond-reads. i fucking SOBBED reading that review. || "when i lock my husband out of our bedroom to read this in peace at late hours of the night, then what." by @nanareadings (i cackled) — comments from the author: i think this is genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever written. i have never been so proud of a dynamic or pairing, because athena!seungkwan x arachne!reader was definitely my flex. this fic took me two months to write because i was so nervous about making sure the dynamics and power play played out correctly and i'm proud to say that i am so incredibly satisfied with this fic.

— most recent fic of 2024:

between you and me - lee chan [x fem!reader]

—posted: 24 december. — word count: 40,489 words! — favorite reader reactions: "finally a good chan fic i feel so whole today" by @neodanceology (i cried like a fucking baby reading that) || "i'm hitting them with a newspaper and screaming at them to cOMMUNICATE" by @nebulousbookshelf (me freaking too trust me) — comments from the author: god, i loved writing this. it was so deliciously stressful and the first time ever that smut came easily to me. i think that writing such a complex relationship (that is slightly based off my own personal experiences) that boils down to both people just being fucking idiots is absolutely my favorite trope. i can truly say that i love how my mind created this within TWO WEEKS. TWO!! isn't that fucking insane?? i'm appalled.

— favorite reads:

— note from haologram: these are in member order. that being said, i have read and reread each of these fics at least three times. i hold them near and dear to my heart so i will gladly say pleasepleaseplease never delete them or i will cry an ocean and flood your house. thank you! [any fics with a ☆ contain nsfw content, do not engage if you are not 18+, or if the author specifically states such on their blog.] — ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi [c.seungcheol] — full throttle (p1) (p2) by @diamonddaze01 [y.jeonghan] ☆ — distracted by @eomayas [h. joshua] ☆ — the boy who lives on the moon by @miniseokminnies [w.junhui] — elevatory by @wqnwoos [k. soonyoung] — endpoint by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — steam (p1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; bonus) by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — ave, general by @amourcheol [l.jihoon] ☆ — raw by @ourdawnishotterthanourday [l. seokmin] ☆ — when i kissed the teacher by @highvern [k. mingyu] — sit down by @gyuswhore [k. mingyu] ☆ — orbit by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — perspective by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — wanted u by @hannieehaee [x. minghao] ☆ — hi (i love you) by @wheeboo [x. minghao] — office hours by @seungkw1 [b. seungkwan] ☆ — favorite coworker by @sescoups [c. hansol] ☆ — rivers & roads by @miniseokminnies [c. hansol] ☆ — rates of change by @wqnwoos [l.chan]

— top songs of 2024:

— orbit by the8, jinjibewater_隼. — eat it by megan thee stallion. — contigo quiero estar by selena. — 7pm by bss, peder elias. — maiochiruhanabira (fallin' flower) by seventeen. — jealousy by pale waves. — habit by seventeen. — circles by pierce the veil. — i found a boy by adele. — item by stray kids.

— 2025 goals:

— oof, this is a doozy. as for this blog, i'm hoping to keep posting and build my masterlist. back when i launched it, i launched a project that i haven't published yet and i want to get that done. as a writer i find myself starting projects and stopping them when i've convinced myself that no one will like them, but 2025 is the year of stopping self doubt and pushing forward. — as for myself outside of haologram, i'm looking forward to a better year overall. 2024 was not kind to me and neither were the people i allowed back into my life, but i digress. i hope that in 2025 i can implement what i've learned this year, and that's to not give a fuck what anyone has to say about me because at the end of the day they do not define my self worth. in 2025 i hope to build more lasting friendships, write to my hearts content and actually enjoy my summer this year instead of rotting in my bed because i let depression overtake me again. i am stronger than 2024 me is, and if you're reading this, so are you!! keep going!! keep on truckin' dude!!

— thank you to everyone who was by my side this year. i could not have made it through this treacherous year without you, and i am glad to have you all with me, and i hope 2025 is good to you as i am praying it will be to me.

— tags: [feel free to ignore!] @ressjeon @jenoslutie @lavnderwonu @diamonddaze01 & whoever else wants to do this!

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Ao3 Wrapped

Thanks for tagging me @energievie and @mybrainismelted. My feelings towards fandom have definitely soured in the last few months and I'm taking a step back for a while, but when I was tagged in this I had a good time looking back and seeing that I did produce a body of work this year worth being proud of.

How many words have you written this year?

173,845

How many works did you publish this year?

6 fics and a couple handfuls of art

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Losing Dogs

What work of yours has the most hits?

Mine all Mine has more than twice anything else I have written this year. Which is disappointing tbh, I'm trying to pretend it's just because it’s been up the longest.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Both Sides Now surprised me, I didn't really think much of it as I was writing.

Favorite title you used.

Tied between Toothache and Man of Metropolis Steals our Hearts

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I use song lyrics for my titles and used Mitski songs for two.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Only Gallavich

What work was the quickest to write?

I wrote both Toothache in a couple days because I decided kind of last minute I wanted to write something for Halloween.

What work took you the longest to write?

Losing Dogs is the longest so it took several months, but City on a Hill was a wip for a while because I struggled with the second half and how to write Yevgeny's character and took a break from it for a while.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

This is my crazy list of ideas that I started back in January and kept adding onto as the year went on and I kept coming up with new fic ideas.

What’s your longest work of the year?

Losing Dogs - 86k

What’s your shortest work of the year?

Man of Metropolis Steals our Hearts - 2.5k

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

The only full on WIP is Nine Ball, which is like 2/3 finished and I just kind of poke at half heartedly every so often, I don't know if I will ever finish it. I guess Time of the Season is also kind of a WIP, but I don't know if I will finish that either to be honest. If I keep writing I'll pull from the above list, but honestly I don't know what I will publish.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Angst with a Happy Ending if I had to guess

Your favorite character to write this year?

Mickey probably, he's my favorite to write always. I loved writing Mandy in Losing Dogs, and I actually enjoyed writing Yevgeny in City on a Hill, and young Ian in Both Sides Now.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Writing anything that involves kids is really hard for me (Franny, Yevgeny, Liam depending on the season, etc.) I just have no idea how the timeline of development works etc. and that makes writing them hard.

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I haven't done a dedicated read of any of my fics, but I'll skim through sections when I get a random comment

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

2,328

Which work has the most comments?

Both Sides Now and Losing Dogs both have 30 comments, but honestly it's hard to tell with my fics because I am inconsistent and bad about replying to comments even though they literally make my day (sorry)

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

I made art for the summer camp fic Light My Fire by @solitarycreaturesthey and @jrooc

Did you write any gifts this year?

Kind of, if answering prompts from my mutuals counts. I also sent out my watercolor holiday paintings for Christmas which have almost all made it to their final destinations

Did you receive any gifts this year?

No, I don't think so.

What’s your most common category?

AU and canon divergent I think.

What do you listen to while writing?

I made a great playlist for Losing Dogs that I listened to while writing and I really liked having a curated list of songs to set the tone, but mostly I listen to lo-fi or jazz, lyrics can be a distraction for me while I'm trying to focus on writing.

Favorite work you wrote this year?

I've come to accept that Losing Dogs isn't other people's favorite, it is mine. To those who did manage to get through it and left kind comments, I appreciate it endlessly <3

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I really loved this passage from City on a Hill, talking about Mickey's feelings about Yevgeny as he considers meeting him 10 years later.

Suddenly a new side of the story became clear. Alongside the resentment and anger that the whole situation with Yevgeny ever happened, was a feeling of loss. A frustration that after spending a year struggling to accept at Ian and Svetlana’s insistence that he was a father and should act like one, as soon as he started to try and figure it out, the kid he was ripped away, and Mickey was left alone in more ways than one.  Ian reached over gently and grabbed Mickey’s hand where it was laying limply over the side of his armrest, soothing his thumb over the knuckles there.  “I never thought about that” Ian said reverently “I’m so sorry.” Mickey turned to face him and lifted the sunglasses off his face, squinting with one eye against the sun “Don’t be like that, it’s fine. I just didn't want you to think I was a total asshole who fuckin’ hates the kid.” “I don’t think you’re an asshole,” Ian said honestly.  Mickey snorted, “well I am. At least sometimes, but not completely about this.” Ian toyed with his lip, deciding that the sun was getting too hot for both of them, “we should go wash up. But uhm-Mickey, if you ever change your mind about wanting to see him, it’s no big deal. He’d love to meet you - as my husband.” This time, instead of brusquely shutting him down, Mickey just nodded slightly, thanking him and letting him know he’d be there in a minute. Before Ian went inside, he paused at the top of the porch and watched Mickey for a beat, his soft body laid out so casually in the nearly idilic grassy plot of their backyard, a person might mistake him for peaceful.

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Just how much I have in me I guess. Sometimes it feels like I could write these little stories about these two idiots all day.

tagging:

@gallawitchxx @catgrassplantdad @callivich @mmmichyyy

@spookygingerr @stocious @blue-disco-lights @sam-loves-seb

@solitarycreaturesthey @atthedugouts @francesrose3

@heymrspatel @creepkinginc @softmick @mickeym4ndy

[gallus-rising]

mp100 horror fic recs 👻🎃

For a while now I've been thinking about mp100's amazing horror potential and how it really doesn't get enough attention. SO! For the spooky season why don't you settle down with a nice scary story ;D

All of these fics are complete and have no shipping. I've only linked 1 fic per author so this list doesn't get bloated, but all of these wonderful authors have other fics just waiting for you to read them ❤ Some definitely freaked me out more than others, but I'm not gonna give any particular ratings since "scary" is so subjective. All fics are properly tagged and you know your own limits better than I do.

Also feel free to add on your own recs!! My general reading preferences and parameters when making this list is only a small sampling, so please share any and all of your favs ❤ Hope you enjoy!

If you see an "N/A" instead of a Tumblr UN that means there wasn't one linked in either the fics' notes or author's bio. If you know the author or are the author yourself feel free to let me know so I can edit the post :] And now in no particular order I present:

The Immeasurable Dark: @tinkertoysdamn Immediately breaking my own "no ships" rule just this once because I can't resist a good House of Leaves inspired story! If you've read HoL is you know what's up. If not expect a fucked-up house and impossibly large spaces, funky text formatting and footnotes, maybe a minotaur. Ship featured is background established serirei.

a pilgrimage: @tooomuchtofu Divine Tree arc bad ending. Told from the PoV of an unnamed worshiper on their first visit to "the capital" aka an overgrown Seasoning City. Uses second person pov wonderfully to build the dread.

And Who Is Killing Me?: @sammisafetypin Koyama beats the shit outta Mob a little harder than in canon, hospitalizing him and delaying the 7th Division rescue arc by [TIME NOT FOUND]. The Awakening Lab kids are so minor I tend to forget they even exist, but oh my god does this author make you care about them! This fic is written with great suddenly swapping PoVs that keep you feeling off kilter without making you lose track of the story. It's the longest fic on this list by far but 100% worth every second of it. A real gut punch.

Adoration: (N/A) The Divine Tree takes a particular interest in Reigen. I don't think I've ever seen anyone properly touch on how creepy the Psycho Helm constructs themselves are like this fic has. God, those things freak me out so much. Features "shipping" in the sense of a sentient broccoli becoming fixated on a guy. Keep in mind that the Psycho Helms look like Mob if you think that'll squick you out, but for me personally it added to the horror.

Similarities: (N/A) Reigen receives a fucked up email. Ends on the sillier side, but BOY is that email fucked up!

The Water Ran Clean: @bandtrees A Mogami-mentors-Mob AU and a damn fine one at that. Love the sort of fragmented style it's written in, and the exploration of Mogami's fucked up moral code is great. There's some Choice viscerally described imagery here 👌👌 Features a drawing of Mob covered in blood just in case that freaks you out; but worry, it's not his :]

An Outlier Among a Sea of Common Denominators: @hebezunet A rewrite of the early Divine Tree arc that asks the question we've all been too scared to consider: What if the brainwashing was like cordyceps? In particular I want to highlight the opening scene where after eating the broccoli powder cookies Teru has to physically rip florets out of his body to resist being brainwashed. Very gnarly stuff.

Prison Surveillance: (N/A) Touichirou was a very bad boss so Hatori pulls a The Ring to torment him in Psychic Supermax Prison. Was written pre-season 3 so Hatori doesn't work for the government.

Stairs: (N/A) Reigen and Mob have a job in the woods. There are some stairs. Inspired by an r/nosleep story which the author links to if you'd like to check that out as well.

Fight, Flight, or Fraud: @cowardlybean So everyone's got a really specific supernatural fear, right? Something that could absolutely never happen in real life but when you see it in media it freaks you the fuck out? Mine is someone I know being killed and replaced by an evil doppelganger and I'm the only one who knows. I've not seen anything since The Magnus Archives that's properly captured that fear like this fic, which is some of the highest praise I can bestow.

In Quicksand: @ghoststrawberries Reigen catches a nasty cold and by that I mean he gets possessed. Very fun the way Reigen's train of thought and feeling shifts around as the evil spirit tries to influence him while he's unconsciously resisting it. The scene where the gang realizes Reigen's been possessed is a real "OOOOOH, SHIT!!!" moment, but I won't spoil ;D

Playing Human: (N/A) Espers and psychic powers might not be real but spirits are. Poor baby Mob is a ghost possessing his own dead body. Features Dimple as the bad guy.

Mithridatism: If I may be so self-indulgent to list one of my own fics here :3 Absorbing evil spirits while still alive was actively killing Mogami and I wanted to dig into that! Features my Signature™ (lol) "HEY, DON'T EAT THAT!!" style of body horror.

[felkithecreator]

Do you have revalink fic recs?

Oh do I ever. (Please don't take the numbers that I use too seriously, they're not to really judge the quality of work or anything it's just level of enjoyment for me and my particular tastes)

My favorite Revalink fic of all time is Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle!! Honestly it's just an absolutely amazing work, and personally I think it's one of the greatest post-calamity Revalink stories written. Link and Revali bond on Vah Medoh after Revali's been freed and exists as a spirit, and while Link struggles through the rest of his adventure. Absolutely recommend, 10/10.

Finding Link by Umbreonix is another one I'd absolutely recommend. It's so silly and just - the characterization of Link and Revali is so fun. Link goes missing after the defeat of Calamity Ganon, and it's up to Revali to find him and potentially bring him back. Honestly Umbreonix's other Revalink work Beating about the bush is also phenomenal - that one's unfinished, but it's also great if you want to read something silly. It's a modernized/human version of Hyrule, which is super interesting as well. All That Glitters is hilarious as well. Recommend them all around 8.5/10.

Linger On by ICanFlyHigher is one I genuinely loved as well. It's been a while since I've read it, but I do know that the vivid descriptions of combat and fighting, and just - the immersion of it is so impressive. So I'd really really recommend this one. It's basically just Botw, but you're really put in Link shoes + that extra touch of Revalink. Again, haven't read it in a while, but 9/10 recommendation from what I remember.

I Lost Myself by self_indulgent_authorship is amazing as well. I love reading from Revali's perspective, and just - the take on Link and Revali getting to know each other after Link's lost his memory is so interesting and refreshing. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like a bit of Zelda-bashing, but I think this fic handles it well and it didn't feel as if it were over the top or anything. 9/10 recommendation.

Snow filled days by SharkPinata is a great one if you're just down for a fun time!! The author kind of took a concept/idea and ran with it, and the plot grew later - and it shows, a bit, but honestly that's part of the fun with this fic. A great thing about it is you can also see the author's writing style improve over time as they write (I desperately hope that the same can be said about my fics too), so it's fun in that aspect of well. The concept is that Link isn't a knight, and just lives in Selkie's Spot in Hebra - where Revali regularly comes to visit him because they're each other's only friends. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Shades of Blue also by self_indulgent_authorship is just fucking amazing. It's the normal botw journey, but you get so much more intricate lore and flashbacks than the OG game - one where Link and Revali knew each other before they became champions - and it's so so so so good. I genuinely think it's one of the greatest Breath of the Wild fics out there, regardless of Revalink. 10/10 recommendation.

Come Morning Light by misscoconi is great as well!! I haven't read it in a long while but I do know it's one of my favorites. It's very sweet - and it's where Link and Revali begin a shared sleeping arrangement. (Meet Me Halfway is the sequel, also very good.) 10/10 recommendation.

The Longest Night by tirsynni is amazing. It's a relatively short fic, and it's unfinished, but it's still just - great. Trigger warning for some things, I'd definitely recommend reading the tags first, but like, I love. It's an interesting exploration of Link's psyche, and Revali's response to it. Honestly, anything by tirsynni tends to be amazing. 8/10 recommendation.

The Effect of the Illusion of Truth by GeryutheTzakandi!!! This is genuinely one of my favorite fics ever - it's so silly and funny and just an all-around good time. Small warning in that it's unfinished and hasn't updated since 2022, but like - I'd still give it a read because what is there is a fun time. It's a fic where Revali and Link decided to get married so that Link and Zelda don't have to. (And no, the two of them were not previously dating.) 10/10 recommendation.

(Another good one by GeryutheTzakandi is Deftly avoiding saying exactly what you mean - this one's hilarious, and Revali is surprisingly self-aware.)

Inertia by sincosma is a great exploration of how Link's amnesia affects the relationship between him and Revali - and what promises they made pre-Calamity. The memories are so interesting yet heart-breaking to read - but the happy ending makes it very much worth it. 9/10 recommendation.

A Seed of Song by Ginneke is adorable. I'm always a sucker for child fics/baby acquisition fics, especially if they're done well, and, well - this one is definitely done well. It's very cute - it's unfinished, but I still think it's worthwhile to read what's been written so far. The drama of Link not wanting to marry Princess Zelda is also very interesting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Under the Stars by peterpiez is one of my favorites!! Honestly because it's one of the very few Revalink Linked Universe fics to exist. There's very little active Revalink, given most of it is just Link mourning and being retrospective in response to the lives and loves of the other Links, but I still really enjoyed. This is also unfinished, and I don't see the author ever updating it, but I still would recommend giving it a go.

The Last Song on the Wind by Inked_Jael is another incredible fic. There's so much worldbuilding, and insight to Link's thoughts, I just love this one so much. It's super interesting because it explores the politics and the different cultures of Hyrule. I know second-person style can sometimes throw people off, but I think it works really really well given the story - and also if you keep in mind that it's about Link, just... please read this. Their work needs more love. 10/10 recommendation.

a moment's respite by cottonmouthcandy is another one of my favorites. It's a bit of a sad read, because it's pre-calamity and you know what's coming for the champions in the future, but it's a story where you get to just enjoy with them their little vacation at the beach. It's just sweet, and nice. It's been a while since I've read it, though, so those are more just the vibes that I remember rather than the content of the story itself. 9/10 recommendation.

the wind through the flowers by HopeStoryteller is also just a silly, fun time. The boys go Modulga hunting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

I have more, and I would continue, but I kind of have a class in six hours and I need to sleep before then, so uh... yeah. I hope this satisfies you question!! But honestly please spread the love to these authors their works are just absolutely amazing.

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

Fanfic writer interview

Thanks for the tag, @niennawept!! (& answering under this blog since the VAST majority of my fic is Adar-related)

How many works do you have on AO3? 14, which feels insane to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 202,906, which again... feels insane. I'm pretty sure Adar is to blame for like, 195,000 of those words.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Awake, Arise or Be For Ever Fall'n: My longest work, Adar's life story from his awakening at Cuivienen to the Battle of the Last Alliance. (Written and completed pre-S2, so his story after Orodruin erupts is, um, different than in the show canon. So technically it's a fix-it fic.)

sister golden hair: The Adar x Mirdania fic that I NEVER expected to write. This started as a ONE-SHOT and then exploded into an angst-riddled tale of accidental necromancy and Tolkienian zombies. Deus ex Mirdania!!!!

Son of the Darkness: The one-shot that started it all. The moment that my brain became fully unhinged. The original one-shot sketch of Adar's life story.

memories of dancing: A fic I wrote when I lost my mind temporarily pre-siege of Eregion episode premiere and decided to entertain the crack idea that Adar = Celeborn. No regrets.

Blood on My Name: Awwww... a throwback to the days when Kastle (Karen Page x Frank Castle from The Punisher) had taken over my brain. A little AU where a badly wounded Frank shows up at Karen's door in the middle of the night. Midnight MacGyver surgery FTW!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try! I have not been historically the best at this, partly because for awhile I didn't realize that that was what you were supposed to do. >.< Also sometimes I type responses out and my brain tricks me into thinking that I sound way too dumb so I abort mission. But I've been trying to be much better about it because yes, fandom should be a conversation and I'm so grateful for every comment I get!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? LMAO TAKE YOUR PICK, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE PAIN TRAIN. Honestly, though, I guess it depends on your definition of pain. I think Awake, Arise ended on a hopeful/Tolkienian note, so I actually wouldn't say that one. I think it might be "what law can lovers move," which was a little lyrical Turgon x Elenwe oneshot that I did, inspired by Orpheus and Euryidice. Those two hurt me so good.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Mmmmm... I think "in the halls of awaiting," a companion ficlet to Awake, Arise from the POV of Erenyë, Adar's spouse in my canon, as she waits for him in the halls of Mandos. It was SUCH an angsty fic to write, but their reunion made it all better. That said, I DON'T REALLY DO OVERTLY HAPPY ENDINGS, SORRY.

Do you write crossovers? Nope.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I don't think so.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I DIDN'T, AND THEN ADAR X ERENYE TOOK OVER MY BRAIN. "A Knife in the Dark" is the AU smutfest of Awake, Arise and I like to say that it's what happens when you don't let your characters fuck each other enough in the longfic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Let's hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... writing is kind of a solitary endeavor for me. I'd entertain editing, but probably not co-writing.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I'm staring at this question going "why can I not think of an answer for this"? I mean this feels so self-promotional/self-indulgent to say, but I'm high-key obsessed with my OC Erenyë and I've definitely dedicated the most brain space to shipping her and Adar over the past two years. Turgon and Elenwe also have OTP status in my brain, as well as Kastle and SANSAN.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Mmmmm... I think maybe "Tides of Fate Onward Run"? I started this something like TEN YEARS AGO, and the basic idea was to tell the story of Gollum and his corruption by the ring through the POV of Nienna. It was a neat little exploration and I had intended it to be a way to explore a lot of the Valar headcanons I have. Maybe one day I'll get back to it...

What are your writing strengths? Mmm... I think maybe my canon adherence? For the most part that is my sweet spot with fic-- I like to craft stories that can fit very snugly into exisiting canon with few deviations. Especially with Awake, Arise, I wanted Adar's story to feel like it could have slipped right out of Tolkiens Silmarillion canon.

What are your writing weaknesses? Ugh I think sometimes I can slip into passive voice and I hate that. Also sometimes I feel like my descriptions are just way too flat and I can fall into "telling instead of showing."

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? The only other languages I really use are Tolkien's... and I'm for it!

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? Mmmm... well technically I have written for this ship, but I've never published publicly... and may never. It's Lalwen x Fingolfin. It's wrong. It's scandalous. It's a mess of feelings. There's extensive Helcaraxë angst/trauma involved. Don't @ me, they are so compelling to me. I'M UNREPENTANT, LOOK AWAY.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Awake, Arise! I'm so goddamned proud of that fic. I'd never actually completed anything novel length (fic-wise or original) before I wrote that fic. So that was a big deal for me to do as a writer. And I really felt like I told a damn story.

ANYWAY tagging @brynnmclean, @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @mylovelylittleobsessions @clumsycopy and anyone else who wants to play!!!

[icystorm76]

Inertia is here!

Chapter 1 done! I'm actually somewhat proud of this, which is rare for me and my work. This is the longest single chapter I've ever written, which is cool! This chapter is a lot of setup, but it's necessary for the fic. I tried to keep the exact rehashing of content to a minimum. That might have screwed with the pacing a bit, but I think it's ok. 

Now for the specific notes. Read the chapter first then come back to read this. 

I love Dipper and therefore I'm going to hurt him. That's kinda how it goes with my characters. I love them and they suffer for it. Don't worry, he's going to come out of it with more questionable parental figures and less morals!

I definitely had trouble with Mabel's character in this. I love her so much and I didnt want to paint her in a bad light, but it was almost necessary. She's a 12 year old, so not exactly perfect. Another factor was the fact that she simply didn't know how bad it was outside the bubble until it was too late. Those factors combined to make a bad call on her part. I absolutely have big plans for her in this fic so don't worry, she will make up for it.

I have slightly less love for Stan. The love is still there, but the way he sometimes treats Dipper really rubs me the wrong way. I recently rewatched the show and there's SO MANY instances of Mabel and Stan teaming up to make fun of Dipper. Mabel is 12 and his twin, so she's understandable, but Stan doing it has always made me kinda angry. He's a grown ass man bullying a 12 year old kid. This is my fic so i'm going to force him through some character development.

I've also decided to make a playlist for this fic. Each chapter I'm going to add two songs so here are the first two!

Little Lion Man- A song about growing up and suffering because of it. Dippers going through a lot right now so this song reflects that. 

“Weep, little lion man

You're not as brave as you were at the start”

“Take all the courage you have left

And waste it on fixing all the problems

That you made in your own head”

Allies or Enemies- The twins' relationship is absolutely going through the shredder. They love each other but they're really not in a good place right now. 

“Remember when I could tell you not to smile, when you were mad?

And you would always crack”

“Do we have another go? (Oh)

Do we bow out, and take our separate roads? (Oh)”

“All is fair in love, and war

But I can't fight with you anymore”

[itsme-thekeys]

Young Royals Fav Fest 2024

Prompt 36: Favorite Fanwork

Oh my, where do I even start? I'll start at the start: I know, I'm Your Masterpiece (and the whole series) by: pwdd1 this is the fanfic that started it all. The very first fanfiction I read in the Young Royals fandom (even though I hadn't even watched the show yet) I basically owe my life and first child to this fic. Young Royals has gotten me through so many tough times and this fanfiction is basically why I decided to watch the show (and the summary my friend gave me so I'd understand this fic better but that's not the point) This is truly one of my most favorite and meaningful fanfictions to me. So thank you, @pwdd1, for this amazing series.

You've begun to feel like home by Sour_candy. I almost wish I didn't get into this one while it was still a work in progress so then I wouldn't have to wait for the next updates!! I don't remember which chapter I joined in on, probably around 7, if I had to guess, but I have continued to read every chapter when it's updated since then! I love slow burn, and my god is this slow burn. But I love it none the less. I never want this to end. Like, ever. I don't know what I'll do when it inevitably reaches its end. Probably reread it! 😜 @s0urcandy112112321

Okay now my three fav fanfictions I've contributed to this fandom.

Some Dreams Shouldn't Come True by me. It's one of my most popular fanfictions, and by good reason I think. Summary: Wille has a bad dream and Simon comforts him. So yeah, pretty cute.

Keys Are Good, Bugs Are Not by me. This one's just a silly little fanfiction with no real angst (except that Simon's definitely in despair for like half of it). Probably the most light-hearted thing I've written. Also one of my most popular (probably because no one died). Summary: Basically Simon gets locked out of the house by a scary bug and Wille is a little shit (affectionately)

Pretend I'm Something Other Than This Mess That I Am by me. At the time I wrote this, it was one of my longest fanfictions that I had wrote. I worked on it on and off for a month or two until I eventually finished it. This is probably the fanfiction I'm most proud of. It's definitely a very heavy story so if that's not your jam then probably don't read it. Summary: Wille has mental health issues ™️

@youngroyals-events

[idyllic-affections]

i just read both of your muichiro works and I’m really impressed 😭😭💓, so I would like to request some thing. What would the reader (gender neutral pls) have to do to cheer giyuu,obanai and muichiro when they are is sad 

what might one need to do to raise the hashiras' spirits?

summary. how do you comfort the hashiras?

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. reverse comfort. muichiro tokito & reader, kyojuro rengoku & reader, tengen uzui & reader. 0.7k words. no pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello lovely!! thank you so much. muichiro is like... my favorite ever, so recieving praise for the content i write of him is so heart-warming <33 on a more serious note, please please remember to read my rules before requesting. like any writer, i have boundaries. it states who i do and don't write for, and as of right now, i'm just not comfortable writing for giyuu or obanai. i replaced them w/ kyojuro and tengen. muichiro's is the longest though bc i love my son <3333 also this is kind of a different writing style than my usual content? if you guys like it enough i might try to use it more often.

T. MUICHIRO—

oh this boy. this poor boy.

i like to think that he goes through random bouts of sadness and frustration, especially before he regains his memory; he doesn't even know where his deep-seated rage towards demons come from! that fact just perpetuates his frustration. he can't understand why he's so angry and that only serves to anger him more.

also, let's not forget that he's a child. he is a fourteen-year-old child. he has a hard time processing his feelings and working through his trauma alone. children need love and support, love and support that he does not get enough of.

(the other hashira try their best, but let's be honest—they're all always so busy. they wouldn't realistically have time to attend to the emotional needs of a child.)

i don't care how independent canon muichiro seems to be.

he is a child. he grew up too fast.

to ease his soul, i think the best course of action would simply be to dote on him.

he needs the attention. he really does.

dote on him.

brush and braid his hair (braiding it would have practical value, after all!) with his permission, cook for him... just small, familial gestures.

he may or may not cry.

if he does, squeeze his hand and run your thumb over his knuckles. he's like a cat; do not make any further contact unless he initiates it first.

he probably won't vent because he doesn't know what's upsetting him. just let him cry it out. don't expect an explanation (and don't be surprised if he forgets about his breakdown soon after it happens).

give him a lil forehead kiss. he deserves it.

R. KYOJURO—

kyojuro is an interesting one!

i personally think that doing little domestic things with him would be a good way to cheer him up.

or even just doing things with him, spending time with him.

take a walk! go out to eat! make friendship bracelets! any activities done together are always a good bet with kyojuro.

simple little gestures are definitely the way to go, too. he's got a big heart. it's really not too hard to cheer him up, as long as your efforts are genuine.

also, definitely give him a big hug. he'd love that. squeeze him like your life depends on it. it won't hurt him; he's a hashira. he'll be fine.

i headcanon that he's a very good cook!

he is, however, a disaster with baking.

doing things like cooking and baking with him would raise his spirits so so effectively. trying to teach him how to bake would be really good for making him laugh, because i guaruntee that you & him would end up covered in flour and shit like that LMAO

be sure to listen to him talk if he decides on opening up. he'll appreciate having someone that listens.

U. TENGEN—

we all know this man is flashy and loud!

because of this, i think the best way to cheer him up would actually just be sitting in the silence with him.

no words, nothing. just calm silence between two friends.

observe the stars at night with him. listen to the wind rustle leaves and blades of grass.

anything that's simply low effort and relaxing would be good for him, i think. he's got so much energy all the time. tengen spends so much time being... loud and—obviously—flashy.

because of that, every now and then, he needs quiet time to recover.

he needs to decompress sometimes.

like kyojuro, i think he'd appreciate a good hug too. in his case though, it would be best and most effective to hug him once he's feeling better, not while he's feeling bad.

with his permission, massage the tension out of his shoulders. that would help too.

really, he just needs a judgement-free safe space in which he can wind down. i don't imagine him as the type to vent, so that's not something he'd be doing. he just needs someone who understands his need for the quiet, someone who won't pressure him to open up when he just isn't ready to.

he just needs a friend to be there for him.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[citrusici]

Ao3 tag game!

THANKS @ragecndybars FOR THE TAG I APPRECIATE IT

*cracks knuckles* lets do this

How many works do you have on AO3?

24 works! I would have never expected to have that many 5 years ago, hahaha

What's your total AO3 word count?

186,291! oh wow, almost 200k!! (unsurprisingly PT minato takes up over a third of that LMAO)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

10 fandoms! I'm counting Persona 3, 4, and 5 and separate, but I'm grouping all the Zelda fandoms together since it's all Linked Universe fic.

Here's the breakdown!

The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms (6)

Persona 5 (5)

Persona 3 (5)

SPY x FAMILY (Anime) (3)

Wizard101 (Video Game) (3)

SPY x FAMILY (Manga) (3)

Runescape (Video Games) (3)

Pirate101 (Video Game) (3)

Persona 4 (2)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (2)

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga (1)

Star Wars - All Media Types (1)

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors (1)

Top five fics by kudos:

The Ghost of Mementos/Stygian Ringlet (Persona3/5) - to the surprise of absolutely no one, since this is currently my longest fic. I'm very happy with Stygian Ringlet being the top because I love my boys :)

True Crime Special on the Midnight Channel (Persona 4/5) - my Ren has a TV Dungeon fic! also very proud of the dungeon concept for this one, I really need to finish the last two chapters

Dark Clouds on the Horizon (Linked Universe/TOTK) - I feel like this one got a lot of momentum partially because it was directly in the wake of TOTK's release, but I'm happy with how it turned out :)

Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Met (Persona 3/SPY x FAMILY) - this was a collab series with mewrose and a few others in the marigolds discord! we were throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck and I really had a lot of fun with Shinjiro-related prompts, because I LOVE him and hitting him with the isekai baseball bat into a universe with Anya brings me great joy

Salt Tears and Raindrops (Linked Universe/TOTK) - directly related to Dark Clouds, and I'm glad people enjoyed good ol' fashioned angst >:) (I do need to post more of my wips, I do have a couple more roleswap AU wips that I want to post)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I almost always do because I really appreciate them and its my way of saying thanks for the comment! If I don't comment it's because I lost track of it or because I can't think of a response.

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Probably Salt Tears and Raindrops. I was in a Mood and decided to go for the tried-and-true method of putting fictional characters I like through the emotional wringer. That's how I got the rough draft for this fic :)

Do you write crossovers?

*looks at my persona fics and recent LU fics*

...I think it's safe to say most of my fics these days fall under crossovers lmao

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

I wouldn't say I have? One or two comments that came off as rude, but no actual hate, thankfully. If I did, I forgot about it. I've been blessed by wonderfully nice readers <3

Do you write smut?

Nope. I don't read it, so I wouldn't know how to write it anyway.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I sure hope not.

I have seen a couple short fics slightly imitate Ghost of Mementos though, which I thought was really sweet that they liked it enough to inspire their own writing.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd definitely be open to it!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

RYOMINA. Hands down. I love them so much, I am so mentally unwell about these two

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

My two Runescape fics, Whispers in the Temple and Welcome to the Jungle. I absolutely loved going hogwild with rewriting old quests in Runescape, but I psyched myself out of Welcome to the Jungle because I got overly anxious about accidentally doing bad representation.

(in hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal as I thought; it's hard to make it worse considering how bad Legend's Quest was with the british-african stereotypes. that quest DID NOT age well.)

I also want to finish Snake in the Grass; that was my first attempt at a genuine mystery plot and I really liked playing with Warriors in that fic in the context of the gang trying to figure out who the heck is trying to murder him.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm pretty good at dialogue! I try to make sure it matches the character's speech patterns and personality. Really well-written dialogue can tell you who's speaking without actually telling who it is. (For example, the way I write them: Minato speaks as few words as possible and has very little filter with his observations when he does share them, and Shinjiro is pretty rough around the edges, with shortened words and the occasional swear. Warriors is good with words and wit, but he has a certain military-esque directness and doesn't dance around the topic.)

I do try hard to keep the plot clear and understandable over everything else, so probably that as well.

Also, now that I think about it, maybe fight sequences? I don't do them much, but I do enjoy the challenge of making a clear sequence of what happens in a fight and trying to make it understandable. Fight sequences are easy to skip or gloss over, but I think of them like their own miniature plot. What happens? What surprises are there? What are their movesets? How do they get the upper hand? (and of course, what looks cool as fuck)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Time management. I tend to over-proofread since I beta my own work, and often I'll go back to tweak stuff if I had additional thoughts to add to it, or extra insight. Lately, it takes longer to write chapters than I'd like.

Also, dialogue-heavy scenes often get very chaotic in my WIPs because of the way I rough out fics. I'll throw together a bunch of dialogue bits I think would be cool to include, and sometimes they'll clash or get really messy, especially if there's lots of characters (looking at the latest two chapters of Stygian Ringlet)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's cool! It adds flavor to fics. If it's more than one short phrase though, or if it's story important, then I do prefer that there is a translation in the author's notes. I haven't done any non-English dialogue in fics, save for one memorable adventure into trying to figure out how Latin grammar structure works for a character that didn't speak English.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Wizard101 and Pirate101. I was obsessed with those two for YEARS. I really, really liked pirate stories in high school, and having a cast of crewmates that accompany you throughout the game really inspired me to write my first fic featuring my OC. (I was also into One Piece at the time, but I never wrote for it.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Stygian Ringlet. It's really dear to my heart. I have poured so much love and effort into that fic, and the reception on it has completely blown me away.

THANKS FOR THE TAG!! Uhhhmmm for tags I'm going to go with @skyward-floored, @catreginae and @breannasfluff (but only if you want to!! no obligation of course)

and of course any other writers that want to do it as well!! go forth

[lilolilyr]

✨ Ao3 Wrapped 2024 ✨

2022 • 2023 • more

Works published: I wrote 54 fics this year - 51 you can see plus some on anon ;)

Wordcount: 142,245

I managed to hit my 100k goal quite early this year! And even without counting my ~20k Avorah draft pile, I'm way past it :D As I'm drafting this in early November, this is my stats sheet (adding how it looks now for comparison, I did have some movement in the last two months):

Kudos: 2489

Hits: 37008

Bookmarks: 385

Subscriptions: 183 to my account, 188 to separate works! Funny how that's almost identical numbers rn! Last year my work subs were much lower... I wish I could compare the account subscriptions of past years but for some reason it just shows the current one no matter where I click.

Most popular by kudos: ohhh all those upcoming stats looked So different a couple months ago, namely before I wrote some shortfics for Star Wars, which wins at all those stats by sheer number of people in the fandom xD and finishing the Mirandy Jigsaw podfic also kicked it back up the stats! I don't really know whether to count it as I didn't start it this year, but I did Finish it in October... Hm. So yeah, prior to that the top5 fics in all of the stats were Avorah fics i think. Wish I took a screenshot of that! Now, the most kudosed with 245 is Star Wars Visions of a Future Past

Most hits: Jigsaw with 4579, followed again by visions with 3236

Longest: Bering&Wells Being Known for @anandabrat 13.906 words

Shortest: apart from the podfics? Berena evening for @squishmittenficfan with 1010 words, followed closely by Avorah Closure for @emeraldorchids with 1017! No drabbles this year?? This feels fake, I remember writing at least a Berena one! Oh lol I still had the 'gift fic' filter because that's the last thing I looked at, doing this all out of order... I do in fact have several Berena drabbles. And a Gunpowder Milkshake ficlet of 333 words and a Star Wars Codywan ficlet at 350. All of them here.

Most Comments: technically Jigsaw but not all of them are from 2024, so Being Known with 22 comment threads

The other fics you can see on my stats screenshots here are

The Avorah fics that used to lead in all categories: All About Risk, Tethered, Mistaken Identity, Totally Straight and of borrowed swimsuits, panic attacks and parties without purpose. Mostly smut here!

battles left behind and won, the second part of my Star Wars time travel fic. The third part with Dooku/Jaster smut didn't do as well, maybe because of the rare pair, maybe just because I forgot to link to it from part 2.

& my Avorah wip pile which I'm not counting for the word count total because it consists of several abandoned drafts

(and yes my cursed HP sioc is winning by subs and bookmarks probably because I never update it)

Comment to show off: I'm bad at remembering things so idk which one was my actual fav but I got a comment last month that really made me smile, it's on an old fic in a fandom I'm not really active in anymore but the characters and that fic idea is still very dear to me and the fic only ever got a handful of comments, so seeing this was lovely <3

I also really love getting comments on my podfics as well, especially from people who've already listened to the whole thing! I don't have one specific one but I remember I got a couple comments on old HP podfics this year, as well as on Jigsaw :)

Fics that made me cry: of my own fic probably Bering&Wells And After All We're Only Ordinary Men. For fics I read, you can check out which fics I bookmarked under that tag! Definitely Star Wars magic blanket by @my-insanity-is-an-artform <3

Fics that made me smile: I think most of my fics make me smile at least a little at some point in writing or re-reading, but probably mostly the fluff&humor fics. For reading, this Star Wars ficlet by @calltomuster is the last I remember not just making me smile but actually laugh out loud! And looking into my bookmarks I also found Codywan Keep on the Sunny Side by @themonopolyhat as well as Sith Lord Swell by @AMournfulHowlInTheNight :D

gifts: I gave 23 gifts this year - two less than last year, I guess I did a couple less gift exchanges but I still gift people fics for other reasons so the number is still similar. I also got gifts, by @lavendelhummel @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @wickedheadache @die-schwanenkoenigin @wilfriede @prozac-shaped-urn, thank you darlings!

collaborations: I don't think I actually collabed with anyone this year? Some things were in the works but didn't pan out... I did start some fics that others continued though! Particularly in Avorah - the inspo fics are linked at the bottom of this work!

events: back in January I posted my Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange fic, then in February the Bering and Wells gift exchange, at the beginning of the year I wrote some ficlets for the Weekly Berena Fix, then I joined May Trope Mayhem with two Avorah ficlets, was part of the Summer Podfic Swap with several short podfics of my own - I also finally finished my 8 hour long Mirandy podfic Jigsaw, which while not part of the event feels a lot more momentous! Now in December I posted my Hacks gift exchange fic, and I wrote three ficlets for the @berenaadvent!

And you can all thank @viharistenno for this cursed addition:

Reader Wordcount: over 40 million! I counted this every month because last year it was so impossible to go through it all in one go xD but by now I've actually learned about an easier way to count it, namely with this:

random.fangirling.net/scripts/ao3_works_stats

Don't worry you don't have to give anything online your Ao3 login, it just helps you to put it in your own Excel sheets to do the sums with.

Also, it just gives you your history - I did Not count my full history because when I click fics I don't read, I then bookmark them 'to read' or 'didn't read' and then filter them out, obviously if you didn't do that all the time you end up with more than you actually read in your history, but it might still be interesting to see the number! For comparison, my full history of December is over a million words more than the one I'm counting.

Bookmarks: (adding this category because I bookmarked truly exorbitant numbers of fic this year, also partly bc of the wordcount checking thing but also because I add summaries and tags and stuff to bookmarks to find fics again later), I had to scroll to page 64 to reach last years 2023's bookmarks, I literally have almost as many bookmarks from this year as i havs from the ten years before that! 1264 of just over 3k total!

For ease of copying: Works published: Wordcount: Kudos: Hits: Bookmarks: Subscriptions: Most popular by kudos: Most hits: Longest: Shortest: Most Comments: Favorite Comment: Fics that made me cry: Fics that made me smile: gifts: collaborations: events: Wordcount read: bookmarks:

Tagging, only if you want to do it of course, everyone tagged above, @cacodaemonia, @guardianrock @bkwormkate @doctor-milfi @anoel and everyone else who sees this :D just pls make your own post, don't reblog! And remember to leave a blank of the qs for the people you tag :)

Also: I've got 440 unread in my inbox o.O pretty sure last year I was on 200sth? (I don't always reply immediately, bc I want to let ppl know once I update that there's sth new - which in some fandoms never happens lmao - or bc I need to think of a good reply to more interesting comments... But 200 that I haven't dealt with from 1 year is excessive adsfg)

[tsarisfanfiction]

Remembrance

Fandom: Trials of Apollo Rating: Gen Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Kayla, Apollo, Michael Human memories fade, and details get forgotten. Godly memories don't, and Apollo will always help his children, if they ask. TOApril Day 30 - Fading Memories. Longest fic of the month to round this TOApril up! Once again it took me a while to work out what I wanted to do with this one, but I definitely need more Apollo&Kayla and also more Kayla&Michael content in my life, so that's where this ended up. There's also a few easter eggs in here for some of my other fics, for the observant/readers with good memories!

Kayla huffed, dragging the box out from underneath the bench.  Damn musicians, shoving all their stuff in the area that was supposed to be her nook, and especially damn the musicians that were also head counsellors that had enabled it.

Also Will, because Will hadn’t been a musician but he’d still let it happen (and Michael, but Kayla would always forgive Michael anything).  No more.  Kayla was head counsellor now, and even if it was only for her final year in camp, this nook at the back of the cabin was going to at least have space for her to stuff all the annoying things like chore schedules.

She wasn’t Austin, or Alice, or Will (or Michael).  She wasn’t having that stuff in her personal part of the cabin, stressing her out with duty­-based things in her safe, stress-free bunk.  Not a chance.  It could get banished to the back of the cabin like she knew other cabins did, for her to pick up when she had to and ignore when she didn’t.

Well, Kayla was realistic.  She wasn’t going to get all of the instruments out of there; there was an entire orchestra’s worth, at least, and several of them were large and heavy, or otherwise not easily moveable – she sent the harp and the full sized drum kits a half-hearted glare, knowing full well that she was never going to win a fight with those particular sisters over the placement of their main instruments.  Still, she could at least clear the flutes that hadn’t been used in years – Kayla didn’t think she’d ever seen any of them come out – off of the desk and find a different cranny to stow them in.

The same went for the crates worth of sheet music stowed under the desk, which was what she was currently trying to wrangle.  For being simple sheets of music, they got heavy when there was a lot of them, rather like a whole pile of target faces all at once, and it took more than a bit of pulling and shoving before she got them moved over enough that she could pull a chair up and sit in it without her legs being crammed against crates.

Well, almost.  She growled as her feet kicked against another one, and ducked back down under the desk to see if she could push that one further back, outside of accidental kicking range.

It refused to, so with another grumble she started to yank it forwards instead, not quite sure where she was going to move it to but determined that it wasn’t going to stay in too-close kicking reach.  Kayla wasn’t tall like Austin or Jerry but she also wasn’t short like Yan and needed some leg room while she was doing head counsellor things.

When it finally came out, it was covered in dust, enough to make her nose itch.  It also wasn’t sheet music, like she’d expected.  Nor was it spare archery targets, which she would’ve been delighted to find – they were forever running out of those.

It was full of photographs.

Curious, she picked one up, puffing until the dust shifted.  There were two boys in the photo – one young and gap-toothed, and the other… well, still young, but maybe at least a teenager.  He had a lot of beads for someone Kayla guessed might be thirteen or so, but the younger kid – and he was really young, definitely nowhere near double digits – didn’t have a camp necklace at all.  He had familiar blond waves and blue eyes, though, and Kayla realised it had to be Will, back when he’d been the baby of the cabin.  The older boy must have been one of their siblings, with his own blond hair and darker blue-green eyes, but Kayla didn’t recognise him.

She set that one down and picked up another, wiping the dust off against her sleeve.  This time, the faces were more familiar, more blond kids, but ones she knew she’d seen before.  Their names didn’t come to her, but she was pretty certain that if she read through the names on the first bead of her necklace, she’d make the connections again.  Unlike baby Will and the unnamed boy, these two were more rough and tumble, with the girl having the boy in a headlock while he clearly fought to get out of it.  Both of them were laughing, though, and the camera was held at an angle, as if the photographer had been laughing too hard to keep it steady, too.

The third photograph made her freeze when the dust came off.

It was her, from behind.  Her hair had been freshly dyed, with no sign of her natural colour at all, and Kayla had only dyed her hair like that for a short time before deciding she preferred to keep the crown of her head visibly ginger.  She was at the archery range, bow in one hand and  gesturing wildly with the other.  Next to her, also with their back to the camera, was someone with black hair in a short pony tail, more or less the same height as eleven year old Kayla – gods, this had been taken six years ago – and gesturing back at her.

She didn’t recognise them.  Not really.  She knew who it was – of course she did, it was Michael, and she was sure she’d always remember the way he kept his hair tied back like that – but what she recognised was his bow, the beautiful horn horse bow that now lived in the attic of the Big House.

Staring at the photograph, she was suddenly hit with the realisation that she didn’t remember his face.  She didn’t remember his voice, either.  She remembered him being her big brother, that he’d spent hours and hours with her at the range, better than any of the Olympic archers Da had coached but completely disinterested in competition shooting, but she couldn’t remember his face.

Kayla had no idea what colour his eyes had been.  If he’d had bangs or if his hair was all swept back into the ponytail.  Details that felt like they should never be forgotten, but she couldn’t remember them.

Logically, she knew she’d only known Michael for a few months, which was basically no time at all compared to the length of time she’d since spent at camp, but with how often his name still flittered through her thoughts, it felt like she ought to remember him better than that.

It hurt, to realise that she didn’t.

Kayla dived back into the box, trying to find more photographs of him.  There were a lot where there was a blur of black hair in the corner, or turning away, or with his back to the camera.  She even found one with a younger-looking Alice braiding his hair, but Michael hadn’t been looking at the camera then, either.  He’d been looking back at Alice as best he could without turning his head.

Still, it was the clearest one she’d found so far, and she cleared away more streaks of dust with her fingers until it was clean.

Seeing Michael with Alice reminded her that she was the only camper left in their cabin, now that Austin had left, that had met Michael.  Raphael and Emma had arrived the next summer, and everyone else was even later than that.  There was no-one else to show the photograph to and reminisce with, or try to remember with.

Okay, maybe she could go to Chiron, but as great as Chiron was, it didn’t feel right.  Chiron hadn’t been any closer to Michael than he was to any other camper, she didn’t think.  She didn’t know how he could have been.  It wasn’t like he was family, really, although she was pretty sure he and Apollo-

Apollo.  Dad.

Her dad, Michael’s dad.

She didn’t even finish thinking it through before she called him, startled when her voice sounded thick, like she’d been crying.  She didn’t think she’d been crying.

The instant appearance of her dad, and the way he immediately wiped tears from her face, told her that she had been.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, sitting cross-legged in the small patch of floor that wasn’t covered in photographs or musician things.  It put him right in her personal space, but Kayla never minded that with her dad.  Either of them, actually.

“I found these,” she said, waving photographs in his face.  One of them was the first one she’d found, with her and Michael.  Another was the one with Alice.  “And I don’t… I don’t remember him, Dad.”  A sob erupted from her throat.  “I’ve always said he was my favourite brother, but I don’t… I don’t remember him!”

Part of her waited for him to poke her in the chest and tell her that actually, she did remember him.  That he was in her heart, her favourite brother, and it didn’t matter if she couldn’t remember the exact shade of his eyes, or whether he usually had bangs.  That was the sort of sappy thing people usually said, after all.

But he didn’t.  He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against his side, tucked under his arm like she was younger than she was, like she wasn’t now the most senior Apollo kid in camp.

“Do you want me to talk about him?” he offered, and her head snapped to look at him.

“Yes,” she said, latching onto the offer like it was a lifeboat.  “Yes, Dad.”

He chuckled, quietly enough that it didn’t feel like he was laughing at her.  “Okay,” he said, and plucked the photo of her and Michael from her fingers.  She barely felt it go.  “Michael was a fighter.  And I don’t just mean because of the war, or his arguments with Clarisse – and he got into a lot of those with her.  He was a fighter because he had something to fight for.”  Kayla felt Apollo squeeze her shoulders.  “You.”

The noise that escaped her was both unladylike – not that she cared – and very startled.  “Me?”

Apollo gave a one shouldered shrug.  “Well, his siblings.  All of you,” he admitted.  “Michael was always one for loving deeply, when he let someone in.  He had a reputation for being harsh and prickly, especially with other campers, but beneath the thorns was a massive heart with so much love to give out, if they could make him believe they were worth it.”

“I don’t remember him being prickly,” Kayla admitted.  “Except for the arguments with Clarisse.”

Apollo gave another chuckle.  “He was always arguing with Clarisse,” he said, sounding fond.  “That started his first day at camp and never stopped.  Then again, I probably didn’t help matters,” he added, and that sounded sheepish.

Kayla twisted in his grip to look at him, astonished.  “What did you do?” she demanded.  Apollo’s smile definitely twisted into something sheepish.

“I claimed him,” he said, and Kayla frowned, because of course he did.

“How-?”

“I claimed him because he shot her in the thigh,” he clarified, and she felt her jaw drop.  “It was the first time they’d met, and both of them were very volatile back when they were that age, more so than by the time you got here.  They got into a fight, and well.  It was the first time Michael had ever held a bow, and it was a beautiful shot.  How could I not claim him for it?”

“You claimed him… because he shot Clarisse?” Kayla repeated slowly, trying to wrap her head around that.  In some ways, it made sense.  In other ways, it really didn’t.  Then she registered the other thing he’d said.  “Wait.  He’d never held a bow before camp?  Really?”

The one thing she definitely did remember was how amazing an archer Michael had been.  It was the sort of skill that came from being an archer from the moment he was old enough to hold a bow – Kayla should know, she had the same skill – not from being a preteen, or maybe even a teenager, before ever touching one.  Actually… “how old was he?”

“He was nine, at the time.”  There was a story there, Kayla could tell, but Apollo didn’t show any signs of expanding on it, and she decided it wasn’t worth asking.

Demigods didn’t turn up at camp that young without a reason, and the reason was never a good one.  Kayla didn’t need to know what Michael’s was.  She didn’t want to know.

“He was amazing at archery,” she said, instead, and Apollo smiled fondly.

“That he was,” he agreed.  “He could out shoot some of my sister’s Hunters.  They hated him for it.”  Kayla could imagine that – Thalia and Reyna were chill, but some of the Hunters were definitely snobbish over their perceived archer superiority.  It was one of the reasons Kayla kept rejecting their recruitment pitches; they didn’t like being challenged by an archer who didn’t wear Artemis’ silver colours.  She bet it was even worse with a boy.

“Serves them right,” she muttered, and leant back against her dad’s side again, reclaiming the photo of Michael and Alice.  “I remember him being an amazing archer,” she admitted.  “And his arguments with Clarisse.  I just…  I wish his face hadn’t faded.”  She tapped at the photograph with a chipped nail.  “The photographs aren’t clear enough.”

“I can make them clearer, if you want,” Apollo offered, and Kayla didn’t know how but she wasn’t going to turn down a chance to re-memorise Michael’s face.  Properly, this time.  She nodded.

Apollo held up a hand in front of them, palm up and loosely cupped, and hummed lightly.

Whatever Kayla had expected, it wasn’t for a ball of light to convalesce in front of them, swirling and shifting until Michael appeared in front of them, perching on the box full of dusty and abandoned photographs.

Kayla had forgotten how short he was.

She’d seen it in the photograph, how a sixteen year old Michael had been the same height as an eleven year old Kayla, but being seventeen herself now – gods, she was older than Michael when he’d died – and more or less fully grown it was stark, seeing him in front of her and realising that he really had been tiny.

He didn’t say anything, probably because he wasn’t real, just Apollo manipulating the light until it showed her her big brother again.  Still, there was life in the way he looked like he was sitting, one leg straight down and the other knee raised up, foot on the edge of the box he was perched on, with one elbow resting on the knee.  He wasn’t looking directly at them, but he was focused on something that only the apparition could see, and it was good enough for Kayla to finally, finally, remember the exact shade of brown his eyes had been.

He didn’t have bangs, either.  There were some loose hairs that didn’t quite reach back into his ponytail that stuck out a little, but no bangs.  He did have earrings, though, a single golden stud in the ear lobe.

Kayla had forgotten he’d had those.  She wasn’t sure if she’d ever noticed them when he was alive and she’d taken his presence for granted, unlike the way she was drinking every detail in now, because this felt like a last chance.

Mortals weren’t supposed to dwell in the past.

Something warm dripped onto her cheek and she glanced up on instinct to see silent tears rolling slowly down her father’s face as he looked at the apparition he’d created.  It was a comfort, to know that she wasn’t the only one affected by it.

Still, her eyes were drawn back to Michael, the ephemeral sight that wouldn’t last forever.  His mouth was twisted into a slight smirk, confidence pouring off of him from his expression to his pose, and even though he looked small and young in a way Kayla knew he hadn’t when he’d still been alive and she’d been five years younger than him, rather than a year older, it felt right.  Familiar.  She was sure she’d seen that expression on that face many times before.

Apollo gave a shuddering breath, and raised his hand towards Michael again.  His fingertips dipped into the illusion, and it rippled slightly.  Kayla knew what was coming, and refused to look away as, slowly, Michael faded from sight again.

“It’s good to remember,” Apollo said hoarsely as her brother disappeared.  Kayla wondered if she was supposed to feel worse, losing him again, but instead she thought it felt more like closure.  “But don’t get trapped in the past.  Keep looking forwards.”  He squeezed her arm.  “You’ve got a future ahead of you, and if he was still with us, Michael would be the first to tell you that you’ve got that Olympic gold in the bag next summer.”

Kayla remembered archery lessons with him, being pushed past anything Da had ever tried with her, because he’d known she could keep up, even back then.  “He would,” she agreed.  “I miss him, Dad.  I know I only knew him for a few months, but… I miss him.”

“I know,” Apollo said.  “So do I.”  He reached out and picked up some of the other photos, of familiar and semi-familiar and unfamiliar faces.  “I miss all of them.”

Kayla plucked another one from the floor – the one with the two blonds wrestling.  Both of them had died in Manhattan, she was more certain of that, now.  Siblings she’d known but not for long enough, although with her mind in reminiscing mode she found names finally climbing to the front of her memory.  Nathan and Robyn.  She didn’t think she’d ever seen one without the other.

Looking at them, with their semi-familiar faces, and the other photos still strewn around from her frantic hunt for pictures of Michael’s face, she found an idea forming in the back of her mind, and she barely let it finish before she spoke.

“Dad?”

He hummed, turning his head towards her.

“Help me put these up on the walls?”  She gestured to the box.  It wasn’t like it was doing anything except getting in her way under the desk, and photographs deserved to be looked at.  Her siblings deserved to be remembered, not stashed away and forgotten.

He stared at her for a moment, clearly not expecting the request, before his whole body softened.

“I’d love to.”

[sidekick-hero]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by some amazing fellow writers, thank you so so much @puppy-steve, @corrodedbisexual, @steviewashere and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation 💜💜💜 (once again late to this because I'm still sick and feeling crummy)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 167, 83 of these in the Stranger Things Fandom (my current one).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

593,064 (holy shit)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently exclusively Stranger Things, the brainrot is still going strong.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emotional Motion Sickness

You know I'm a show off (I would let you get some)

Louder

we tangle endlessly like lovers entwined

I’m tired of asking to settle the debt

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really, really try! I want to answer to all of them because every single comment means so much to me. But I'm also at around 500 unanswered notifs on AO3 (not all are comments, some are replies on my comments) and it may take a while to catch up 🫣

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ufff, pretty sure that's we pass the ghosts that haunt us later. The ending is ambiguous, but was angsty enough that @legitcookie demanded it to be fixed...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

... which led to us co-writing the next part I wore his jacket for the longest time with a happy ending that to me at least feels like the most satisfying happy endings of all of my fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I haven't, my experience with fandom has been entirely positive and wonderful 💜

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Juuuuup. Love it. I think most of my fics are rated explicit. I had a phase in which I mostly wrote pwps, trying my hand on more comedy and romance but I feel like writing smut might be my calling 😂

10. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one, a crossover between Stranger Things and Fargo S5. It's a metaldeputy fic (Gator Tillman and Eddie Munson) called caught in the careless arms of lust again

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of at least.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, two have been translated to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With @legitcookie and with @yournowheregirl, and it's amazing. I loved it and would definitely do it again.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think steddie, it just really scratches an itch I didn't even know I had.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Uffff, good question. I would never say never tbh. And I don't have many WIPs. Maybe the Time Travel threesome fic (Eddie/Eddie/Steve) I started with Jen. Still loving the idea but not sure when I'll be able to get back to that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, I think? And a few people told me I'm good at vivid descriptions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long sentences. Dialogue. As stupid as it sounds, plot? Like, world building and coming up with a complex plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

So fucking hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Queer as Folk, wayyyy back in the day.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh man, that's a hard one, I love all of my fics. I think from my multi-chapter fics I have to say I wore his jacket for the longest time, especially because of how much I loved writing it but also because I love me a good character growth and second chances fic. And of my one-shots I have a soft spot for to the rhythm of eternity (my love letter to my favorite city) and Take your time (I wanna cross some lines) (a pwp I spend AGES on writing).

I have no idea who has been tagged already so if you've been tagged please forgive me and link me to your answers 💜

@runninriot, @hbyrde36, @acasualcrossfade, @judasofsuburbia, @pearynice,

@shares-a-vest