#this is broken record shit i know

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hi <3

It's me. Your local Terrifying Endo-Neutral Mod. Which clearly means I'm a disgusting bigot according to some voices in syscourse. Against which side? Idk pick one.

I've discussed before, briefly, why I use the endo-neutral label. I could go into all of the reasons someone may not wish to take a label for themselves, why I personally think the labeling system is stupid as fuck, etc.

Instead, I'm going to get into the main reason why fear mongering to one particular group about "hidden endos taking over their community" is unhelpful.

To the people pushing it, pretty much all they're saying is "yeah idk your coworker might be a tulpamancer or smth lmao", but to the targeted audience.... that's not what they're going to hear.

The people you're talking to are firmly convinced that endos either don't exist and are faking it or that they're "real" systems who are in denial about trauma and being encouraged by a community that's really bad about accidentally dismissing trauma symptoms.

They're not going to hear "endos are existing near me". They're going to hear "the community that's working to deny the existence of my trauma is spreading their ideology and making it harder for me and people like me to get help".

And I get that that's the point lol. I get that it's a message designed specifically to harm people who think that way. But it's not fucking helping anybody. It's leaning into the same fear thats making anti-endos so hostile.

The more people spread messages like that, the more of a threat they become. The more of a threat they become, the more justified any retaliation against the endo community becomes in the minds of people who are already afraid of losing resources or being invalidated by the horrifically ableist culture at large. You're not Just hurting the people you want to. Every goddamn time the pot is stirred, EVERYONE gets hurt.

Are people going to listen to this? Probably not. Am I going to scream into the void about it anyway? Yep. Makes me feel better lol. I literally just want people to be kind to one another, whether it's a lost cause or not.

[stormyoceans]

sorry i know i said i would shut up but then i saw this and now im even more mentally unwell if anyone needs me i'll be in my padded room for the foreseeable future

[icannotgetoverbirds]

ahem. Aspecs are FUCKING VALID. and they're RIGHT, goddammit.

About what specifically are they right, you may ask?

Listen. Asexuals will side-eye you whenever you describe sexual attraction, and I presume the same happens for aromantics and romantic attraction.

While I can't personally speak on romantic attraction as I've never been fully aromantic, I can definitely say this with confidence.

Sexual attraction is fucking WEIRD, y'all.

You look at someone, or spend time with them, and suddenly you want to bed them? Look, it's a "normal" experience and it's definitely valid but I refuse to pretend that's not fucking bonkers yonkers.

Do any of y'all know what it's like to spend nearly two decades completely unbothered by all the bullshit that comes with having crushes, and then suddenly your entire world comes crashing down and OH GOD OH FUCK EVERYBODY IS HOT SO THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.

Do you?????

Demisexuals and other forms of gray-asexuals may know a similar experience, and it... like. How do I even describe it.

Going from 0% sexual attraction to 100% sexual attraction TO EVERY GENDER over the course of A FEW DAYS was... an experience, to say the least.

Anyways. Respect aspecs (and that includes the asexual spectrum, the aromantic spectrum, the aplatonic spectrum, and loveless folks) or die by my fucking sword.

I don't actually have a sword. Can someone get me a sword?

[bandzboy]

this is honestly very upseting

[totentnz]

@silverv-week day 1 // soulmates

set in: au: watch the world burn, circa 2018 v & johnny are soulmates but it's complicated, this is probably confusing for those unfamiliar with my v & my AUs but this was fun!

"you still talkin' to v?"

"who?"

"v. you two were... nevermind."

johnny hadn't seen her in months, he genuinely forgot about her. though that didn't mean he wasn't thinking about her. he used to run into her all the time - by accident, but these days she was nowhere to be found.

a cracked cellphone screen reminded him of her, about that time he asked around about her day job on a hot summer day and how he ended up at a tech shop in some alley, an annoyed v sitting inside, fixing some gonk's gunked up phone.

he entered the shop, a bell rang as he opened the door, she was unphased by the sound. the place was small and somehow it was even hotter inside. the netrunner was the only person inside though light spilled out from the room in the back. a speaker was sitting on her desk, slipknot was playing at what he guessed was maximum volume.

"you work in this dump?" he asked, his voice raised in an attempt to overpower corey taylor. v had been mouthing the lyrics of the song but stopped as soon as she heard him though she continued to move her head to the rhythm of the song.

"no, i'm here 'cause o' the wicked vibes." there was sarcasm in her voice which seemed uncalled for, this place must've been heaven for any runner, so much information was stored on these devices and folks were even paying you to take it off of them.

she was prying the protective layer off the phone in her hands when she pointed at a screen on her desk. "input whatever's wrong with it on there. then give it to me." she explained, not even looking up at him, clearly customer service wasn't her forte.

johnny wasn't here to have anything fixed however so he placed the laptop he had brought with him on her desk. "i can't help ya if ya don--" she began as she placed her tools down, clearly ready to give him an ear full but stopped when she took a look at the device.

"huh." she tilted her head and looked at him, then back at her laptop. she grabbed it and opened it up, typing something in before closing it again. "where'd you find this?"

"in my car. where ya left it." he replied and she finally looked at him now, scanning him from head to toe. she took her time and it was all there: the lingering gaze on his cock and prosthetic in combination with a quick bite on her lower lip. she knew who he was and it got him excited for the inevitable revelation.

"oh. it's you." she paused for a moment and he gave her his best shit-eating smirk - she squinted. "jimmy?"

"johnny." he corrected, there was no way she was being serious right now, she had to recognise him, he was known for more than just his music, especially in night city. "silverhand. hired ya for a gig yesterday?" he tried to jog her memory though her gaze remained unchanged.

"right, right. 'course." she pointed at his arm and then at his face, nodding. "thanks." she tapped the closed laptop with her fingers before placing it underneath her desk. she leaned back and looked at him again before resting her feet on the table. johnny pulled up a chair and sat down, crossing his arms.

"so, johnny silverhand. got a feelin' ya didn't return this outta the kindness o' ya heart." she grinned and with a flick of her wrist checked the time on her watch.

truth be told he wasn't sure why he decided to find her, if she wanted her shit back she should go look for it herself but she had intrigued him last night.

the second random encounter was perhaps the best one: he didn't expect to see her there in her stupid little borg-burger uniform, putting on her best customer service voice, being nice. he found out later that she was fired from that job, supposedly she assaulted a customer after they were being rude, that was more like her. sometimes when he would enter the diner late at night after a show there was a tinge in his chest, half expecting half hoping for her to be there but she never was there to wait his table.

when he was on stage, looking down at the pit he often thought he saw her moshing with some guy like she used to when they were... not dating but it was never her. they idea of her being there -- or perhaps her absence lit a fire in him though and the performance that followed was fuckin preem every time.

but she wasn't on his mind and he didn't want to know where she was or what she was up to. she was just another pair of tits that mixed in with countless others, a few nights of fun, meaningless.

---

"'member johnny?"

"who?"

"johnny. you got his signature on your ass?"

"riiiiight. actually, it's on my thigh."

the image of him did flick through her mind every now and then, like the dias she used to look through when she was working at the retro store.

he taught her about lucky cigarettes, cursing her with the memory of him every time she opened a new pack, maybe that was the reason she swapped to rolling her own.

she had just pulled a cigarette from a freshly opened pack and was about to start smoking it when he stopped her.

"what're ya doin'?" he almost yelled, taking a step towards her to pull it out of her mouth.

"what?!" this irritated her, she needed that smoke right now and could do without his little games.

"never heard of lucky cigs?" he placed his own cigarette between his lips and took the pack from her.

"it's a lil' ritual." he explained and with a flick of his finger he flipped the cigarette around.

"pick a random cig," he raised the hand holding the flipped one slightly.

"put it back in, that's the lucky one." he winked.

"ya don't say." she retorted, rolling her eyes and taking the pack back from him with some force.

"ya smoke that one last." he pointed at the pack and v pulled out a different cigarette, placing it between her lips.

"if anyone wants to bum one and it's the lucky one." he exhaled some smoke into the cold night air. "they buy ya a new pack." he reached into his pocket with his free hand to get his lighter.

"how often does that happen?" she asked and johnny leaned in to light it for her, the fire illuminated his face, bringing out all his beauty and flaws at the same time. as she took the first drag and their eyes locked onto each other she wondered what she looked like to him.

"more often than ya might think." he shrugged and leaned back, putting some distance between them.

occasionally when she entered the atlantis she would scan the bar for his figure, she still owed him a drink or maybe he owed one to her, she wasn't sure. she would listen to rogue talk about him - they were fucking now - and conveniently disappear whenever he would show up.

one day she noticed that there were no more samurai patches on her backpack. she did enjoy their music even before she started fucking the rocker, though she never admitted that to him. the patches were constantly rearranged and maybe she had forgotten to sew those back on, replaced them with other bands, better bands.

after some time she forgot all about him. she knew who johnny silverhand was, especially after he went out with a bang, but none of the moments they shared were attached to that name, he was some guy she had fun with, nothing more.

[jackienautism]

i’m not gonna check every single person who interacts w/ me bc it’s a goddamn waste of my time but if you ship laura and travis genuinely eat dirt and don’t even THINK abt interacting w/ my fucking stuff

[starlooove]

Actually hate girlboss Steph malewife tim shit bc most of the time it’s literally just another facet of “he’s so cool and interesting” while she’s just there

[mxgicthot]

Did this thing for the blorbos :3

For my modern au

[hobermallowed]

I’m sick of the drama about feminine Louis. They’re not trying to protect Louis at all, they’re just mad that for once a black man is being portrayed as soft and now they want to gatekeep the fics. But notice how when the reverse happens these blogs have NOTHING to say. Transparent ass bitches. I’m gonna write some loustat mpreg with bottom louis especially for these haters. Black fandom can’t have anything for themselves bc of people like this.

I’m not disagreeing anon. If anything, I support you.

[creepyscritches]

I'm still trying to get past how insane it is that my last doctor basically refused to officially diagnose me (he would tell me I had "rhupus" bc I had "SLE labs w RA symptoms"), then treated me w infusions I couldn't afford AND that made my condition worse, and then gaslit me for 5 years about it being impossible to be medically intolerant to oral chemo 🫠

Anyway apparently my teeth could have been spared some of their damage bc my new doctor definitively linked dental involvement to some of the autoimmune antibodies 🫠 been trying to save like $16,000 to get normal fucking teeth but I've been guilty abt it the whole time thinking it was a moral failing. It was. The Diseases. 🤡

[t3-art]

🫵 you wish to perceive my rock druid (please?)

[wereshrew-admirer]

the cleaver chine 😭

[toastybugguy]

the absolute fucking fight for my LIFE I now have to perform every other second to stop myself from saying “Madonna stuns in new selfie” or “toxic gossip train” either aloud or on a post. it’s frankly obscene.

[introvert-celeste]

.

[thequeenofthewinter]

I interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to inform you...

I HAVE MADE IT TO OVER 10,000 WORDS IN ONE CHAPTER!

...uh, and I am not done yet.