#this is been in the queue since the spoilers for that chapter dropped

[handsomewrites]

Coparents with Benefits; ch.1

The kids are finally going on one of those weekend-long nature field trips! And I heard Nicky's dads are chaperoning! Wait, dads? Or: Jodie and Glenn play nice for a weekend, and end up bonding. By some definition of bonding, anyway.

new fandom new me... I debated not cross-posting this one but i can't resist another chance to get notes. I'll queue the other chapters for the next few days.

Taglist: T rated; Jodie Foster x Glenn Close; enemies to enemies-with-benefits; season 1 spoilers

read on ao3 here

"Glenn!! Come on in!" Morgan pulled Glenn into the house with a kiss on the cheek, turning to lead him into the living room without missing a beat. His hand came up to touch the spot before following her into the foyer in a bit of a daze. 

He’d tried not to tell her about what had happened in the forgotten realms, or the version of history he remembered, but she’d always been able to read him like a book. Apparently, she was a bit like Nick -- she had some fuzzy recollections from both timelines, though not as clear as the memories their son had regained when shit broke loose. So she’d already had an inkling that there was something weird between them, and when she saw Glenn, Nick and Jodie all dancing around something, she easily rooted her way to the truth like a hog digging up truffles.

And, it turns out, she didn’t find it as off-putting as anyone had expected. She still lived with Jodie and Nick, but she treated Glenn like-- like... he didn’t know what. More affectionate than he was prepared to handle. He was slowly getting used to it, but reuniting with the woman you mourned who is now married to someone else isn’t easy, no matter how she acts about it. He sort of got the feeling she would be fine with just having two husbands, if Glenn wasn’t so cagey.

Well, if Glenn wasn’t so cagey, and if the two husbands in question could get along for more than five minutes.

Morgan’s head popped around the corner. "You coming?"

"Uh. Yeah." He closed the door behind him before shuffling down the hall. "Where’s Nick?"

"He should be down in a second," she said with a glance at her watch. "He’s pretty punctual getting ready for school."

That must be one of the things he picked up from his newer dad. Glenn tried very hard to keep the distaste from showing on his face. He wasn’t sure if it was working or not, because true to Morgan's word, Nick came trotting down the steps moments later.

"Hi Glenn!" The bright smile on Nick’s face made all the gross feelings in Glenn’s gut evaporate, and he grinned back, wrapping his son in a hair-ruffling hug.

"Hey kiddo!" It had been a while since he could run his hands through Nick’s hair without demon horns getting in the way. At home, Nick usually defaulted to a sort of half-demonic appearance, which was cool. When he was alone, Glenn tended to let it all hang out, but to each their own. 

"Daaaaaaaaaad," Nick whined, without any real irritation behind it. "I just finished doing my hair..."

Glenn snickered a bit, releasing his hold. "Eh, still looks good. Tousled." Nick rolled his eyes. "You ready for field trippin', man? My bike’s parked outside, got a helmet just for you--"

"Aaaaaactually," Morgan interrupted, one finger raised in the way she used to do when she was about to drop some news that would absolutely harsh the vibe of the day. Glenn frowned, but he couldn’t actually be upset by anything she said, these days. "You’ll probably need to take the car for this one..."

"Huh? Nick’s been on my bike before. It’s totally safe, and the way to the school is like, thirty miles an hour, tops--"

"No, no, it’s not the bike. Well it is the bike, but just-- it doesn’t have enough seats." She was so cute when she was beating around the bush... wait, no, Glenn, focus.

"Dad--er, Jodie also signed up to chaperone this trip," Nick jumped in, saving his mother from the bad-news obligation. "He said it was going to be a surprise, but I hadn’t mentioned you were already chaperoning, because whenever I mention hanging out with you, he makes this face... Kind of like that one you’re making right now, actually."

"...Right." Glenn tried not to grind his teeth together.

"So I said you guys would carpool," Morgan added cheerfully, scooping up a duffel bag from the floor and handing it to Nick. 

"It would probably be better if I just call and cancel," Glenn said with a sigh, pulling his phone from the pocket of his leather jacket. "I wouldn't want to distract Jodie from his important chaperoning duties." 

Plus, it was hard enough to convince people he's Nick’s uncle without Jodie there trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Nick had enough to deal with, without rumors of his weird extended family conflicts circling the PTA. 

...Also, the idea of spending a long weekend with Jodie Foster made his stomach turn.

He heard Nick's genuine "nooooooo" the same time he felt Morgan's hand on his, and he looked between the two, insides feeling wibbly again. "Danielle and her mom already canceled because they got the stomach flu, plus Jake's dad had something come up for work, so if one more chaperone cancels the trip is off!"

Morgan caught his eye, and she gave him a look which managed to convey something along the lines of you have to do this for him, he's been looking forward to it so much. Glenn was just glad he'd skipped breakfast today, lest his turning guts decide to dump their contents on her shoes. "Henry will be there with his boys," she said with her mouth instead of her eyes, and Nick nodded.

Glenn put his phone away with a sigh. "He'll probably be occupied wrangling Lark and Sparrow all day. Let me get my bag off the bike, then..." 

Morgan gave him a quick hug in thanks. He didn't put his arms around her, not wanting to be awkward with how reluctant he would be to let her go.

"Where's the Narc at, anyway? He'd better not make us late." The nickname earned him a small look of reproach, a bit of distance which he was thankful for.

"He's already waiting in the car." Glenn rolled his eyes hard, but Morgan had turned away to hug Nick goodbye.

So much for a fun nature trip with the boys...

---

"We’re going to be late."  Jodie’s shoulders were hunched up by his ears, his face screwed up in a mix of irritation at the red light in front of him and irritation at his unwelcome passenger.

"We are not," Glenn disagreed from the backseat, his feet kicked up on the center console. "They said we were supposed to be there at nine."

"They said they’re leaving at nine!"

"Uh, yeah? That’s what I said?"

"That’s not--" Jodie cut himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. From the passenger seat, Nick put a calming hand on his elbow as he took a deep breath. After a moment he continued, his voice schooled into an infuriating faux-calmness. "We should have gotten there an hour ago, so we could have parked and helped load everyone onto the bus."

Glenn debated pointing out that he would have been there a lot faster with Nick on his bike. On one hand, it was true, but on the other, it was a bit early in the morning to hear the traffic cop lecture. ‘Motorcycles have to follow the same traffic laws as cars, Glenn.’ ‘Just because you can fit between cars doesn’t mean you can weave through traffic, Glenn.’  ‘Red lights mean stop, not punch it, Glenn.’  Eugh. Just the thought of it threatened to give him a headache.

He studied the back of Jodie’s head, instead. He wasn’t really sure what Morgan saw in him... Close-cropped, almost military style haircut, boring gray polo shirt tucked into khakis over steel-toed cop boots. Almost the inverse of Glenn in every way -- Glenn’s shoulder-length hair held back with a torn bandanna, face overdue for a shave, worn leather jacket and ripped-up jeans almost made them look like they were made to oppose each other. He supposed there was still some level of bad boy underneath all the beige of his cop uniform, but Glenn only got to see the demon side of him when shit went seriously wrong, or he managed to piss him off really badly.

Which was fun, but it tended to upset Morgan and Nick when they went at it in full demon form outside the Infernal Plane, so Glenn did try to keep that to a minimum. Usually.

How did he express that naughty side before he could turn into a demon? Probably by yelling at people he pulled over, waving his taser around. Or his gun? Do traffic cops get guns?

"We're here," Jodie pointed out in the most deadpan monotone imaginable. "Get out of my car."

Glenn took his time doing so, only a little on purpose. He closed the door in time to see Nick catch up with his friends -- Grant and Terry Jr. were there, along with a few other kids in their class whose names Glenn hadn't bothered to memorize.

Lark and Sparrow were also nearby, listening to their father speak with one-half boredom and one-half misguided respect. Henry put a hand on each of their heads to say something-- judging by Sparrow's smile and Lark's eye-roll, something affectionate-- before sending the boys off to join their friends. When he caught Glenn's eye he grinned, waving an arm in greeting with enough enthusiasm to involve his whole body in the gesture. Henry always seemed surprised to see him as a living human; he supposed it was a combination of him usually meeting the guys in demon-form and Henry literally seeing him die once before. Luckily, a long weekend was a short enough time for the demon glamor to hold up, so he’d be in human form with two unscarred eyes for the duration of the trip. As for the other half -- well, death is only permanent if you're a loser. Glenn gave him a nod in return. 

The slam of Jodie's hatchback trunk made him jump. "Well? Care to join us, Mr. Close?"

"Ladies first." Glenn waved his hand for Jodie to go first, earning himself an eyeroll. As they approached the bus, the teachers started loading the kids on, paired up in twos or threes. Nick, Grant and Terry ran up the steps about halfway through the line -- the other boys must have saved a spot for Nick. That was nice of them, but it left Glenn and Jodie bringing up the rear together.

So much for hanging with his boy all weekend. With Jodie around, Glenn couldn’t even sit with one of the single moms on the bus ride...

"Mr. Close, Mr. Foster," the teacher gave them a nod as she checked their names off the list. "Cutting it a bit close on time, aren’t we?"

Jodie glared daggers through the side of Glenn’s head, but he didn’t dignify it. "Fashionably late," Glenn responded, shooting her a pair of finger guns. She didn’t seem amused. "We made it in time, no worries! Would’ve been here faster if we didn’t have such a slow driver," he added, throwing an arm around Jodie’s shoulders.

Jodie stiffened. His teeth were grinding together audibly. "We would’ve been here faster if we could have left when I planned--"

Glenn slapped him on the back a little rougher than necessary, passing in front of him to get onto the bus.

---

The destination: Catalina Island. It seemed like a fancy-schmancy kind of place for a school field trip, but apparently they were trying to teach the kids about nature and the ecosystem and stuff like that. 

Since it was an island, though, after the two-hour bus ride, they had to load all the kids off the bus and onto a ferry for a two-hour boat ride. They were all beyond antsy, and it took them about a half an hour to get all the kids through the requisite bathroom breaks and on their way. Lark and Sparrow just about launched themselves out of the bus as soon as it stopped. Glenn felt similar, after two hours of tense silence next to Officer Narc.

"Don’t forget to wash your hands!" Henry called after them, watching his boys race into the bathroom. He sighed, shoulders rising and falling with familiar fatigue. 

"Man, those two never stop going, huh?"

Henry startled a little, but brightened when he saw it was Glenn. "Hey Glenn! Yeah, they, uh, they’re very... passionate."

"Passionate, yeah." Glenn scratched inside his ear with his pinky finger, which was easier when he had claws. He scanned the group for Nick, but none of the kids he bothered to remember were around. Must be in the bathroom. Jodie was there, though, interrogating one of the other adults with his stupid chest puffed out.

"So. You and Jodie, huh?"

"Me and Jodie? What, me and Jodie." Did he sound defensive?

"Nothing, nothing." Henry’s hands were up, placating. "I just didn’t expect to see you both here, is all. Usually when they say Nick’s guardian is a chaperone, it’s one or the other."

Chaperone. Glenn hated that word. "Believe me, man, I didn’t either."

"What did you tell the teachers about your, uh. Unique situation?"

"Not a damn thing." He shoved his hands in his pockets, wishing he was better at changing the subject. "As far as they know, Jodie and I are brothers. Anything else is none of their damn business."

"Right. Sorry." At least Henry had the decency to feel awkward about it. "Nick looks like he’s doing good with everything, though."

Glenn relaxed a bit, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he had taken. "Yeah, he’s a strong kid. He’s not so different from how he was before..."

"Yeah, yeah." Henry nodded. "I see a lot of you in him, you know."

"Really?" These days, he wasn’t too sure about that. He tried to size up if Henry was lying or not, but insight wasn’t always his strongest skill.

"Yeah, dude, totally!" Henry’s voice cracked a little, which made it sound a little less true, but Glenn opted to believe him anyway.

"Thanks, man. That means a lot."

---

Glenn didn’t get to talk to Henry any more once the ferry started its journey; the weedy little man turned green almost immediately upon setting foot on the rocking deck of the boat. He threw up once over the side before the staff ushered him into a little bathroom near the center of the boat, where the rocking was minimal and he could sit by the head in peace.

Since it was a Friday during school hours, there weren’t too many other people on the boat. A few of the kids stayed inside on the lower level, sitting by the little tables chatting about whatever teenagers chat about, but most of them sat up top to watch the waves. 

Glenn was planning on finding a spot near the back to kick his feet up and enjoy the salty air, but in the spot he would have picked, Nick was already sitting. The other kids didn’t seem to be around.

"Hey, Kiddo." Nick looked up as he approached, smiling. "Where’s the crew?"

Nick shrugged. "Lark and Sparrow had some kind of plan they wanted help with, while their dad’s not around. I figured I would leave them to it."

"Probably smart. Mind if I...?"

"Go for it." Nick made a little gesture for Glenn to sit, so he flopped into the seat next to his son.

"Sorry if I made you late for your trip." He still didn’t think he made them late, but if he’d known Nick had wanted to be there early, he would’ve tried to get there with a bit more haste.

Nick waved a hand. "No worries. I didn’t think we were that late. He’s just a little..."

"Yeah. A little." Glenn kicked his feet forward, crossing his ankles over one another. "Are things good at home, with him and your mom?"

"Huh? Yeah, it’s-- it’s fine, it’s good." Nick looked away, though Glenn couldn’t tell if it was to hide his face or to look out over the water. He directed his gaze over the water too. "It’s not too different to how it was before. Or, you know, in... one version of before."

"Right." He wondered if this was a smoking or non-smoking area. It was open air... "You been practicing your guitar lately?"

"Yeah!" Nick perked up a bit, glad to not be talking about home life any more. "I’ve been trying to convince Grant to learn the drums. I think he’d like it, and we could start a band!"

"Oh shit, dude, that would be rad as fuck!"

Nick nodded. "Right?"

"If you ever need a place to practice, there’s no curfew or decibel limit at Casa de Close."

"Da--Jodie doesn’t actually mind if I get kinda loud. He joins in with his bass sometimes. I dunno how much louder we’ll be with drums and a lead guitar, though..."

Right. Glenn’s Nick played lead guitar, but Jodie’s Nick took after the bassist in him with rhythm guitar instead. At least it was still a guitar.

"You have someone in mind for lead?"

"Well, uh..." Nick broke eye contact, scratching at his hairline where his horns usually interrupted it. His cheeks were turning a little red, but not demon-red. "There’s... this girl at school."

Glenn grinned. "A girl? Nick!!" He tossed an arm over Nick’s shoulders, hand coming around to muss his hair again. 

"Shhhh, don’t--"

"You’re growing up so fast!" 

"Daaaaaad!" He made a whining noise from the back of his throat, and Glenn laughed. "She’s just a friend! Like, a really cool friend who plays lead guitar and sings..."

Releasing his son, he leaned back again, keeping an arm around the back of Nick’s chair. "Right, of course, of course. Just for the band."

"Yeah, for the band." He was still blushing, but he was smiling too. He turned back towards the water, fiddling his hair between his fingers. It was getting long, which a part of Glenn was very happy to see.

He found his mind wandering, as a comfortable silence settled over them. He wondered what Jodie’s version of before was. Should he ask about Morgan, or would that be weird? He definitely had questions he could ask. He stared out over the water, hand behind Nick fidgeting and digging his nails against each other. He was still debating when he saw the water splash funny out in the distance. 

After a second of squinting and a few more splashes, he reached across Nick’s front to point. "Dude, is that a dolphin?"

---

The majority of the ferry ride was really, surprisingly nice. Nick and Glenn sat together, pointing out dolphins and jellyfish, talking about school and music and the newest show on TV. They didn’t talk about Jodie, or Morgan, or the Forgotten Realms, or Hell.

Everything was perfect, until the last fifteen minutes, when the teacher called everyone’s attention to pass out cabin assignments. The kids were in groups of six of the same gender, three bunk-beds to a cabin. They had been allowed to submit who they wanted to room with to the teacher, and she incorporated those requests into the assignments, so most of the kids had at least one friend in their room.

The adults’ cabins were smaller, three beds to a cabin. Glenn had almost pumped a fist in joy when he heard he was sharing a cabin with Marley Winters, but then the teacher added that their third was Jodie Foster. Then, to make it worse, when he asked Nick about Marley, what did he say?

That’s Danielle’s mom. The one who couldn’t make it.

So he had a cabin to himself, with Jodie Foster.

"Would you quit moping and move?" 

Glenn suddenly realized he had been staring at the empty third bed for... a while. Jodie stood behind him, holding his duffel bag half-open. He’d taken his stupid polo shirt off so he just had on a stupid wifebeater undershirt, tucked into his stupid pants with his stupid belt. His phone was clipped to his belt. What a loser. God. 

"Glenn. Can you please have your crisis once I’ve left to go to the showers? I’d like to get ready for bed." 

Instead of answering, Glenn flopped onto the bed that was designated as his, groaning into the pillow. He could practically hear the eyeroll in Jodie’s voice when he muttered "yeah, me too, buddy," on his way out the door.

[inqueerect-quotes]

Weisz: I'm the flame of edens

Rebecca: because you're a flaming homosexual?

Shiki: we already knew that baby, you didn't have to come out

[hitodama3]

Substitute MC?

I tried to use a different word then replaced because I know a lot of replaced MC AUs exist and this isn't that.

So I haven't gotten to chapter 16? but if you're on obey me Tumblr you'll quickly get spoiled so spoilers for you know what beneath the cut.

Okay so question/idea/brainrot thing.

From my understanding Barbatos does not save MC in chapter 16, the MC from that universe dies completely and totally, he just snags an MC from another universe right before the deed is done to replace the one that died.

Barbatos is also very meticulous! So to make sure there were no conflicts he very carefully selected an MC from a world that had the exact same experiences as the MC from the OG world so there would be no conflict in memories / interactions with the characters.

So my question is about the OTHER reality. Because there are a few possibilities.

A. We know he's meticulous. So did he find a reality where everything lined up experience wise but even though the boys acted nice they didn't care for alternate!MC. Considering the MC was plucked from that reality, probably alternate!Barbatos knows what's going on but unless he shares with the others ,alternate!MC just disappeared. So OG!Barbatos would need to pull alternate!MC from a reality where they wouldn't care but still act enough like they did so that MC's memories line up for assimilation.

B. Or alternatively the dateables just all dropped dead for some reason in that moment? God struck them down for not protecting the human idk.

C. Because otherwise there's just this alternate universe where the brothers are FREAKING OUT because Belphie tried to harm the human and the human went poof! AND THEY CANT FIND THEM!!! Until Alternate!Barbatos tells them they got snatched to another dimension.

C.A Does the guilt for harming alternate!MC make them willing to not try and get MC back. The whole they're better off somewhere safer.

C.B Or do we have a bunch of demons unable to answer the call of their pacts but feeling alternate!MC when they're in danger or call for them going feral and probably yandere as they try to tear through space and time to retrieve alternate!MC.

C.B.2 Does that mean that just a side plot the OG!dateables do, and probably hide from alternate!MC, is fighting off the alternate!dateables to keep alternate!MC in their reality.

D. For angst or creepy purposes alternatively you could also make it so Barbatos wasn't so meticulous, and pulled a close enough MC that MOSTLY had aligning memories with the OG!Realm. So randomly alternate!MC will reference some past event that hasn't happened in this reality, and is reminded this isn't their world. Imposter syndrome-like.

E. What did they do with OG!MC's body? Is there a grave? Did they eat it? Was there a funeral considering alternate!MC is here? Do the boys ever think about how they failed OG!MC and even though an MC is HERE it's not the original?

F. Would they allow alternate!MC the option to return? I haven't heard differently so I assume the boys never asked if MC would like to return to the other timeline. It was just assumed since the realities were pretty much the same alternate!MC would stay.

F.A Because if I learned that I had been killed in this reality and they were using me as a substitute for their failures I would be bailing out of there faster than a sinking ship.

F.A.2 Would they let you leave though? They failed their jobs they were given to protect the human, and potentially had to go through the feeling of there contract breaking briefly until Alternate!MC arrived and re-established the connections. Once the alternate!MC arrives they could be relieved because they have a second chance they didn't mess up THAT bad MC is right HERE!

WHAT YOU WANT TO LEAVE THEM?

Oh because they hurt you? Don't worry just give them a chance they'll do much better this time! Queue the yandere potential music. If the alternate!dateables are trying to get them back it turns from a retrieval to a rescue scenario in this reality.

F.A.2.A Does that mean pacts cross realities? That if you've made a pact with a demon you hold that pact across realities. That leaves some room for an Evil!MC or Evil!Solomon who hold the contracts to cross worlds and try to take over the other world, and use the demons against their will to do it because they must obey the pact holder. Could be a good idea for an ACTUAL replaced MC fic.

[heich0e]

i'm SO sorry i took so long but i had a lovely picnic w/ friends on saturday and between studying for finals n' weeping with the final episode of aot i really didn't know what to say about Percolate so as you can see i'm emotionally drained and fragile right now. i apologize in advance. and to all of your followers for this long ass ask.

first of all, it's been 8 months since I started reading Percolate. i think chapter 7 was recently dropped when i caught up with the story and ever since it's been such a rollercoaster ride waiting for new updates and witnessing how rookies and levi's relationship devolpe from something 'casual' to genuine love!

fun fact: I had to reread chapter 13 just to feel "in context" again lol.

so… chapter 14… *sigh* honestly i'm really struggling how to put into words how i felt while reading. you're writing does that to me every. single. time. ugh, i looooved that most of the chapter levi was all "fuck it, listen up I LOVE YOU" and rookie was like "¿¿¿???" HAJSBAKS, THAT GURL IS ICONIC. but my fav part obviously was after the little crisis, when rookie caught up with him and he hugged her once he noticed it was reciprocated I fucking melted because there's nothing better than boyfriend levi. :((( AND THEN THE AUDACITY OF GOING STRAIGHT INTO PDA WITH HER IN A ROOM FULL OF THEIR FRIENDS WAS SO AAAHKABSKAN91@($!# 💕💝💖💘💗💞

the last part… omg, i'm not even going to call it "smut" because that would be so fucking disrespectful of me when clearly that was a beautiful, passionate, intimate and slow love-making moment. i never cried so hard in my life.

“It was the first of so many new things—or rather the familiar situations that you were now facing in a new light, with a new dynamic between you. It was a rhythm you would slowly have to find your footing and fall into, but you were happy to learn the steps.”

this part moved something inside me, i liked the idea of them not charging anything just because they're dating but still giving it a try to start doing things the right way. the fact that you included sonnet 145 specifically… god you're a genius, Liv. You never get tired of leaving me dumbfounded, don'tcha? the meaning behind it... fuck, it's so beautiful.

it's silly feeling somewhat sad that Percolate has reached its end, because i know you're still going to be around writing and all, but i guess it's because something in this story will remain special to me until the end of times. i'm so proud of you, i don't think you'll ever know the amount of confort this gave me and as always, i thank you for sharing with us. i feel i have much more to say and if i could i would send you voice notes so that way you can hear my pathetic crying but this will have to do for now! Ilysm, Liv! you deserve all the forehead kisses in the world~ 😙

i'm a week away from a delicious two week vacations so i'm going to wait so i can catch up with some of your new pieces (to have and to hold has been seducing me for a while).

HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK, ANGEL! again, i'm so proud of you you beautiful thing! congrats on concluding Percolate, you've worked so hard! you're such an inspiration!🥳

kary this is the last ask in my percolate spoiler queue because you were the first person i remember coming off anon to gush about perc so it only felt right that you be the last one too :')

AHjdkhfsdkjhsldkj i don't know if anyone else has noticed but I've known from the VERY BEGINNING OF THE FIC that after all was said and done and all the cards were laid on the table that I wanted that little guy to get an actual HUG. HE DESERVES IT. It was important to me that a hug be the way that they sort of come together in the end rather than something more spicy bc it just felt right.

stop this genuinely made me so emotional, Kary. I am so so so so so endlessly grateful for you. Writing perc wasn't always easy but i swear to god i would have written 100 more chapters if it meant meeting the incredibly kind people this fic brought me all over again. i love you SOOOOOO very much!!

I HOPE YOUR PICNIC WAS DELICIOUS AND YOU ACED ALL YOUR FINALS AND YOUR VACATION HAS BEEN RELAXING AND FULFILLING AND ALL OF THE OTHER GOOD THINGS IN THE WORLD FOR YOU. YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE IT.

[calumcest]

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon - chapter seven

[ao3]

did i just pull this entire chapter out of my arse tonight? maybe! not that i don’t write these chapters all in one sitting at like 9pm-1am every single time don’t get it twisted i’m not organised i am a binge-writer

i always do my long ass a/ns on ao3 i dont know why feels more REVEALING to do them here because i know people actually read them and i think probably one person on the whole planet has ever read my ao3 a/ns its a safe haven so i’m just going to say my brief thank yous: thank you to @clumsyclifford for literally everything you do always, thank you to @ashesonthefloor for listening too me bitch about this fic and having the most wonderful thoughts and ideas about it, thank you to @kaleidoscopeminds for motivating me to keep writing this fic w your kind words, thank you to @allsassnoclass for always being so wise and understanding of authors dilemmas and encouraging me w your lovely words, and thank you to my spoiler anon for being so lovely about this fic and holyverse and also for asking about another chapter because i swear to u i would have kept putting it off were it not for u. also big thank you to noel and liam gallagher for writing the SMASH hits i wrote this entire chapter to and for being [redacted] and also to richard madden because i just fancy him and feel like i should thank him for existing and allowing me to perceive him 

It’s a twin room, thank God, because Luke would have rather slept in the hallway than shared a bed with Ashton for four weeks. 

“I’m taking the window bed,” he announces, before Ashton has a chance to say anything, out of pure spite, because he knows Ashton likes sleeping by the window. Or knew, maybe. He’s not sure anymore. 

Ashton opens and then closes his mouth, nods curtly, and puts his carry-on bag on the bed nearest the bathroom. Luke puts Clifford down on the bed first, muttering at him to stop fucking yapping (which Clifford, of course, ignores), and then drops his suitcases next to it with a sigh. 

“So,” Ashton says, and his voice fills the entire room, too loud and too much, a jarring reminder that Ashton’s here, in Luke’s space, and Luke’s got no option but to live with it. “Should we go out?” Luke blinks at him. 

“What?” he says. 

“Well,” Ashton says, with an uncomfortable shrug. “Study doesn’t start ‘til tomorrow, and it’s only nine. Thought we could spend the day exploring?” Luke stares at him. 

“Think I’d rather spend my last day of freedom alone,” he says, a little harshly. Ashton blinks, and Luke doesn’t miss the flash of hurt that crosses his face, but then he nods again. 

“Have you still got my UK number?” he says, and Luke hesitates, and then nods. He’s not sure why it feels like he’s giving something away by admitting that he’d never deleted Ashton’s numbers; he’d been the one to text Ashton about the tattoos first, so clearly Ashton already knows that Luke still had his Australian number, at least. “Well. Text me if you need anything?” 

“Don’t think I’ll need anything,” Luke says, and Ashton sighs, and Luke feels a little small, a little stupid, like Ashton’s a patient parent putting up with a melodramatic teenager. 

“I’m going to head off, then,” Ashton says, a touch awkwardly, and Luke just nods, busying himself with getting Clifford out of his travel cage, thinking he’ll ask at reception for directions to the nearest park and let Clifford stretch his legs. He steadfastly doesn’t look at Ashton as Ashton gathers his things together, patting his coat pocket to make sure he’s got everything, and then slips out of the room, door clicking shut behind him. 

As soon as Ashton’s left, Luke suddenly feels simultaneously relieved and overwhelmed. He feels like he can breathe a little easier, think a little clearer without Ashton in his personal space, making him feel like he has to be alert, on edge, but the hotel room feels strangely empty without him. Luke shakes his head, tries to get the latter thought out of his mind, focusing on Clifford’s insistent yaps to draw him back to reality and distract him. 

“Alright, little man, we’re going,” Luke mutters, fumbling around in his bag for Clifford’s lead. Clifford jumps around at his feet, already panting, and Luke rolls his eyes, clips the lead on, checks he’s got his room key and phone in his pocket and heads out of the room. 

He decides to take the stairs, since he doesn’t think Clifford’s got the patience to wait for the lift, which proves to be the right decision when Clifford’s straining at his lead trying to bound down the stairs, giving Luke reproachful looks whenever he tugs him back. They’re only on the second floor, so it’s not long before Luke’s back in the lobby, and Clifford finally pulls himself together and trots smartly at Luke’s heel, giving other people milling in the area imperious looks as they pass. 

“Hi,” Luke says, and the receptionist smiles politely up at him. “I’d like to walk my dog. Can you tell me where the nearest park is?” She nods. 

“Of course, sir,” she says, and pulls out a brochure. Luke mentally pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s going to look like a massive fucking tourist walking around with one of those. He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get mugged. 

“You just need to turn left out of the hotel, take a right at the end of the road, take the second left after that, take two rights, and you’ll be at the park,” she says, trailing her pen across the streets and ending it with a flourish, circling a rectangle of green on the map and smiling at him again. Luke smiles back, having taken absolutely none of that in, thanks her, pockets the map and decides he’ll probably just walk around the nearby backstreets for a while until Clifford’s worn out to lower his chances of getting lost. 

Clifford, it turns out, is surprisingly tired, having apparently spent all of his energy on pestering Luke to take him out. He only manages about half an hour of walking up and down a few streets around the hotel before he’s flagging, sitting down and staring up at Luke beseechingly when Luke tries to pull him along. A passing couple throw Luke an amused look and titter to themselves, and Luke sighs. 

“C’mon, little man,” he says, tugging again. Clifford refuses to budge, just stares up at Luke with a look that Luke knows all too well. “Come on, Cliff, you’re embarrassing me. It’s two streets away. You can walk that far.” Clifford stays put, and Luke rolls his eyes, but bends down and scoops Clifford up into his arms. Clifford immediately nuzzles into Luke happily, licking at his neck, and Luke pulls back, wrinkling his nose. “Gross, Cliff, don’t do that.” 

Luke pretty much speedwalks back to the hotel because little though Clifford is, he’s surprisingly heavy after a while, and Luke’s much weaker than he looks. He throws the receptionist a polite smile on his way back up to the room, unclips Clifford from the lead as soon as he’s in there and rummages around in one of his suitcases for the bed Michael had shoved on top of all of Luke’s warmest clothes. Clifford watches him patiently, and hops into the bed as soon as Luke’s unfolded it, curls up and closes his eyes. Luke can’t help but smile fondly down at him, bending down to press a kiss to the top of Clifford’s head and scratching behind his ears. 

“I’m going to go out again, little man,” he tells Clifford. “I’ll be back to give you your dinner, though.” Clifford just sniffs, which Luke takes to mean ‘yeah, sure, now fuck off and let me sleep’, and Luke straightens again, throws Clifford one final fond look and heads back out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him. 

He decides it’s probably fine if he wanders aimlessly, since the brochure in his pocket has the name of the hotel on it and Michael had paid for his phone plan to cover the UK for six weeks so he can look it up when he inevitably gets lost. Having spent half an hour in the streets surrounding the hotel already, he decides to get on the tube and head somewhere new, picking a stop name he recognises - Leicester Square sounds vaguely familiar. 

Leicester Square, it turns out, sounds familiar because it’s a tourist hotspot. Luke’s ducking and weaving between people, mumbling apologies as he slips through gaps that he doesn’t actually fit through and splits up groups (but seriously, he thinks, slightly irritated as he smiles politely, who the fuck walks in a row of five?). There are countless little side alleys and back roads leading off the main street, but even those are difficult to walk through, filled with the native Londoners who know their way through the labyrinth of twisting streets and know better than to be anywhere near Leicester Square in the first place. 

Eventually, half to get out of the crowds and half because he’s actually pretty hungry, Luke ducks into a Costa and buys himself a ham and cheese toastie, balking at the price when the cashier rings it up. Five fucking pounds, what’s that, ten dollars? For one sandwich? Fucking hell. He’s definitely going to be demanding those reimbursements from the university. 

He’s waiting for his sandwich to come out of the toaster, only two baristas serving a queue of at least twenty, when someone taps him on the shoulder a little tentatively, making him jump. He whips around, wondering whether he’s in the way or something, and comes face to face with-

Ashton. 

“Are you serious?” he demands, before he can think about it. Ashton shrugs, and looks a little uncomfortable. “Are you following me?” 

“I was already here,” Ashton says. “I���ve got a table.” He waves his hand in the directions of an empty table in the far corner, and Luke can see Ashton’s coat bunched up on one of the chairs. 

“Oh,” Luke says. Ashton gives him a look, simultaneously sad and calculating, and for a brief moment, Luke thinks fuck, his eyes are pretty. Jesus Christ. Maybe he should have stayed at the hotel and napped. 

“D’you want to sit with me?” Ashton says. Luke hesitates - not particularly , is the first petulant thought to cross his mind, before his rational side kicks in and tells him sleepily that he won’t find a seat anywhere else - and then nods. 

“Ham and cheese toastie?” the barista calls, and Luke steps forwards, takes it from her hand and heads wordlessly in the direction of Ashton’s table, Ashton in tow. 

“Sorry,” Ashton says, when Luke picks up Ashton’s coat off the seat and holds it out for him. He takes it from Luke and his finger brushes against Luke’s, and something like liquid gold rushes through Luke, making him giddy from head to toe. It’s the sleeplessness, he tells himself, averting his gaze and snatching his hand away. God knows he’s felt even more unexplainable things on the same amount of sleep. 

“‘S alright,” Luke says, sitting down to avoid thinking about the warmth of Ashton’s finger brushing against his own and the way his finger is still burning from the contact. “You didn’t know I was going to be here.” Ashton hesitates, and then busies himself with tucking his coat behind him, like he’s looking for something to do that isn’t stare across the table at Luke. Luke’s not going to complain about that, and takes a bite out of the first half of the toastie so he won’t have to say anything else. 

They sit in silence for a moment, Luke eating his toastie, Ashton fiddling with the bracelet on his left hand. The silence is uncomfortable, oppressive, and Luke kind of wishes he’d just sat on the fucking floor or something. Nothing makes him wish that more, though, than when Ashton opens his mouth and says: “I wondered.” 

Luke swallows his last bite of toastie with a frown. 

“You wondered what?” he says. Ashton shrugs, tension and discomfort visible in the movement. 

“I wondered whether we’d bump into each other,” he says. Luke rolls his eyes. 

“Not this again,” he mutters, but it’s more tired than anything. Ashton sighs, and drops his hands onto the table. 

“Look,” he says carefully. “I don’t think us bumping into each other all the time is a coincidence.” 

“Fucking hell,” Luke says, but there’s no heat behind the words. He digs the heels of his palms into his eyes and squeezes them shut. He’s too fucking tired for this.  

“Luke,” Ashton says, like Luke’s being unreasonable. “We’ve lived in the same city for years-” Luke opens his mouth to interrupt, because Ashton was always away half the time when they were together, and he can’t imagine that’s changed much “-okay, on-off, because I’m in LA sometimes - but we’ve not once bumped into each other. Then we get the tattoos, and suddenly I’m seeing you every other week?” 

“What’s your point?” Luke says, a little irritably. “You think this is some grand plan from the universe to make us fall back in love? What, I’m Cathy, you’re Heathcliff?” Ashton bites his lip, and Luke’s mouth twists bitterly in a humourless smile. “This isn’t fucking romantic, Ashton. You leaving me was-” he cuts himself off. He’s not quite ready to tell Ashton that , yet. “Awful,” he says, eventually. “This isn’t part of some, like, big romantic redemption arc for you. You fucked up, and you fucked me over, and we’ve just got to find some way to live with the tattoos. That’s why we’re both here, isn’t it?” Ashton’s silent for a moment, and if Luke’s not mistaken, looks a little paler than he had a minute ago, and then nods. 

“Can we at least be civil?” Ashton says, and then, seeing the look on Luke’s face, adds: “We’re stuck together for four weeks, Luke. I know you don’t like me, and I’m not asking for- for friendship, or anything. I’m just asking for you to be civil with me.” Luke exhales heavily. 

“Fine,” he says tiredly, before he has the chance to think too much about it. “Civil.” 

“Civil,” Ashton agrees. 

(Luke’s pretty sure civil doesn’t involve thinking God, I’d forgotten how long his eyelashes are, and the way you can see a hint of his dimple when he speaks, but he’s also pretty sure that’s entirely to do with the exhaustion, and nothing to do with him.) 

  -------

  Ashton talks Luke into going down to the Houses of Parliament, with a combination of a sincere look on his face, big, serious eyes as he says look, we don’t want to risk another bumping-into-each-other tattoo, and it’ll just be civil, and the fact that Luke just doesn’t have the energy to argue. Plus, he thinks, Ashton seems to know where he’s going, and Luke had forgotten to take his charger with him so he’s kind of fucked if he gets lost. 

The walk down from Costa to the Houses of Parliament is only about twenty minutes, but feels so much fucking longer, both of them all too aware of the awkward silence hanging between them, amplified by the noise of the city surrounding them. They walk through Trafalgar Square, and Ashton tells Luke something about art installations and the fourth plinth and Luke just nods along, trying his best to do this whole civil thing by quelling his instinct to snap I don’t fucking know what a plinth is and you know full fucking well I don’t care about art. Ashton seems to sense it from him anyway, though, because he falters and then says, with an uncomfortable laugh, “You probably don’t care about this anyway.” 

“Not really,” Luke admits, because they’d said civil, not dishonest. Ashton smiles wryly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Sorry,” he says, and Luke just hums, and they fall back into an awkward silence. 

It’s easier, Luke finds, when a man in a suit shoulders into him and keeps walking without so much as a mumbled apology and Ashton turns to him, outraged, and says Londoners really are cunts, if they interact with each other through their surroundings. Talking about people, things, even the fucking weather, adds a sheen of superficiality, a layer of removal that they can both look at and pretend there’s nothing more to it, no years of hurt and pain bubbling beneath the surface. 

“How is it this sunny yet this cold?” Luke grumbles, shielding his eyes and squinting up at Big Ben. 

“You should be here in April,” Ashton says, stabbing the button at the traffic light repeatedly. 

“I’ve got no intentions of being here any longer than I have to be,” Luke mutters. “What are we looking at, again?” 

“It’s parliament, Luke,” Ashton says, like that’s supposed to mean something to Luke. 

“So?” Luke says. “We’ve got a parliament.” 

“And? Have you ever seen it?” Ashton says shrewdly, and Luke scowls, biting back the scathing retort on the tip of his tongue. Civil and Ashton are two concepts that he assumes will take a while to marry in his mind. 

“Whatever,” he says, stepping out into the road as the light turns green. “Just don’t get why I’m supposed to care about some random country’s government, is all.” Ashton doesn’t seem to have anything to say to that, jogging to catch up with Luke, and they walk the rest of the distance to the buildings in silence. 

It’s quite imposing, Luke thinks, up close. The buildings are sort of dirty - or maybe they’re meant to look like that - and incredibly intricate, bordering on fussy. It towers over them, looking more like a palace than a place of governance, Big Ben casting a long shadow across the road. He’s not sure he’d want to be governed from this place.

“I don’t like it,” he says. 

“Really?” Ashton says, squinting up at the buildings. “I think it’s kind of pretty.” You would, Luke thinks darkly. Old, ornate and overcomplicated? That’s exactly the kind of thing Ashton would get excited about and find unwarranted symbolism in. 

“Yeah, well,” Luke says instead, because he’s pretty sure that thought doesn’t count as civil. “Think it’s just a bit too elaborate.” 

“It’s Gothic Revival,” Ashton says, like Luke’s supposed to have a single fucking clue what that means. Actually, Luke thinks bitterly, he’s probably fully aware that Luke doesn’t have any idea what that means, and is hoping Luke will take the bait and ask so Ashton can demonstrate his massive intellect, or whatever. 

“Right,” Luke says, a little shortly. Ashton glances at him, looking a touch taken aback, but then looks back at the buildings. 

“We can go somewhere else,” he says, and it’s an offer. An olive branch. 

“Yeah,” Luke says, because annoyance at not knowing anything about architectural styles aside, looking at an old building is just pretty fucking boring. 

“There’s an aquarium not too far away,” Ashton says. “I remember you-” he stops himself, and Luke swallows. Yeah. He loves aquariums. He loves them so much that Ashton had taken him to the Sydney Aquarium for their third anniversary, a month or two before he’d broken up with Luke. 

(Two months on the dot. Not that Luke has both dates seared into his mind, or anything.) 

“Yeah,” Luke says again, to fill the silence of both of them thinking back to that day. “Let’s go to the aquarium.” Ashton hesitates, and glances at Luke like he wants to say something else, a sort of semi-pained expression on his face, and then he sighs, shakes his head, and throws Luke a tight smile. 

“Let’s go to the aquarium,” he agrees. 

  -------

  The aquarium, it turns out, is a much better choice. 

Despite the odd screaming child, the aquarium has a calming silence to it, an almost pensive quiet that pierces to the depths of Luke’s soul. It settles the air between him and Ashton, means they’re not silent for lack of civil things to say, but rather because they’re both caught up in the muted beauty of the ocean. 

They don’t walk together, because Ashton likes to pore over every single placard and study every creature in minute detail and Luke’s drawn to the pretty, colourful fish. It’s Luke, though, who’s always the last to move on, and Ashton waits for him before they head to the next room. It’s almost nice, Luke thinks, as he heads for the door and sees Ashton slip through it when he sees Luke’s ready to move on, that they don’t have to have awkward conversations about it, that they can just understand and fall into it. 

(He tries not to think about why.) 

They spend hours in the aquarium, dawdling in every room, because they spent so much fucking money on it and they’re both going to be damned if they won’t milk it for all it’s worth. Luke spends an extra long time looking at the clownfish, for some reason, hypnotised by the way they can weave in and out of the anemones. There’s some kind of symbolism to be found there, he thinks, something about toxicity and safety, but he’s too tired to come up with it himself. Ashton would probably correct him if he tried, anyway. 

Ashton’s particularly taken by the sharks, it turns out. He’s already staring at the huge tank in awe when Luke gets into the room, barely even blinking as his eyes follow one shark after the other. The room itself is dark, like the rest of the aquarium, but the tank’s so huge that Ashton’s bathed in light, rippling and shimmering and Luke, for the briefest of moments, feels something sharp stab at his heart, something he remembers feeling the last time he’d stood in an aquarium with Ashton. It makes his stomach clench, twist in on itself, because he knows exactly what he’d identified that feeling as before. 

“They’re fucking beautiful, aren’t they?” Ashton says, interrupting Luke’s train of thought before it can take the leap off the cliff edge of panic, and Luke looks up at the sharks. 

“I guess?” he says, because he doesn’t really see it. 

“You used to like them,” Ashton says, sounding a little surprised. 

“I used to like a lot of things,” Luke says. I used to like you, he adds spitefully in his head, and sort of hopes Ashton’s telepathic. 

“Guess I’ve got to get to know you again,” Ashton says, and it’s a little wistful, a little sad. Luke doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know what would sum up I’m not sure I want you to, I don’t think I’ll give you a chance and Good fucking luck in a civil way. 

They stand there for a while, watching the sharks, and people filter in and out of the room behind them. It feels oddly hypnotic, being stood there with Ashton, the only two static parts of a moving whole. He wonders if the sharks feel the same, swimming aimlessly in their tank, watching the world pass by and powerless to move with it. 

“I’m sorry,” Ashton says quietly, after at least ten minutes have passed. It’s so quiet that Luke thinks he might have misheard it - maybe it was the family behind them, or just the sound of the tank - but he can sense Ashton stiffen next to him, like he’s preparing for backlash of some sort. 

“What?” Luke says, just to make sure he’s heard right. 

“I’m sorry,” Ashton repeats. Luke pauses, waiting for Ashton to elaborate, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t really have to, though, Luke finds, because he knows what Ashton means. 

“I know,” Luke says eventually. Ashton swallows, but says nothing, just carries on gazing at the sharks, but out of the corner of his eye Luke can see that Ashton’s gaze is fixed now, not following the sharks around.

They stand in silence until an announcement blares through the system telling them that the aquarium is closing soon, making them both jump. 

“What time is it?” Luke asks, just for something to say. 

“Uh,” Ashton says, pulling his phone out. “Five.” Fucking hell. It feels much later than that. “Do you want to go back to the hotel?” Ashton adds, like he knows what Luke’s thinking. Luke nods. 

“I’m fucking exhausted,” he admits, as they head back up the steps away from the sharks and towards the exit. 

“Me too,” Ashton says. “I wanted to stay up until at least ten, but…” he trails off, stifling a yawn, and Luke can’t help but snort. Ashton smiles, small but genuine. “Fuck off,” he says, but it’s good-natured. 

“Yeah,” Luke says, as they traipse out into the little shop. “Think I’m just going to crash when we get back.” Ashton nods, pushing open the door to the exit. Luke’s expecting the glare of brilliant sunlight to hit him, squints in preparation for the onslaught of light, but it’s pitch fucking black. 

“What the fuck?” he says, sounding kind of perplexed and kind of outraged. 

“What?” Ashton says. Luke gestures up at the sky with one hand, and uses the other to pull his coat in closer towards himself, because fucking hell, it’s freezing.  

“It’s five o’clock,” he says. Ashton looks up at the sky, and then at him, an amused expression on his face. 

“Wrong hemisphere,” he says, and Luke rolls his eyes. 

“Fucking miserable place,” Luke grumbles, tucking his arms in and huddling in on himself. “No wonder they invaded the rest of the fucking world, Jesus. I wouldn’t want to stay here either.” Ashton says nothing, but when they pass under a streetlight, Luke sees the corners of his lips tilted upwards, and something warm and pleasant spreads from his stomach outwards. 

“D’you actually know where you’re going?” he asks, when Ashton takes a sharp right turn onto a bridge. 

“Of course I know,” Ashton says, in that infuriating, I’m-Ashton-Irwin-and-I’m-an-intellectual manner that Luke had never liked. Luke rolls his eyes, not entirely playfully, and jogs to keep up with him. 

Ashton leads them across the bridge, past the parliament buildings again, up a long road that a lot of people are ambling down, and then cuts into a small alley on the right. 

“You definitely don’t fucking know where you’re going,” Luke says, standing at the mouth of the road, something uneasy in his stomach. “I’m not going down here.” 

“I know where I’m going,” Ashton says. 

“Where are you going?” Luke says sceptically. 

“Charing Cross.” 

“Why is that down an alleyway?” 

“It’s just a shortcut.” Luke stares at him, narrowing his eyes. 

“Why can’t we walk on the main road?” he asks, because it feels right. Something about the alleyway feels wrong. 

“We can,” Ashton says. “But it’ll take longer.” Luke makes no indications of moving, and Ashton sighs, and it’s tinged with sadness. “Come on, Luke, are you serious? You think I’m going to, what, murder you in an alley in London?” Well. Not specifically, but something’s telling Luke not to follow Ashton into that alley. Much more than that, it’s telling him not to let Ashton into that alley, but Luke’s trying to ignore that part of it. 

“I just don’t want to go that way,” Luke says stubbornly. “Let’s just go on the main road.” 

“It’ll take much longer that way,” Ashton says. 

“I don’t care,” Luke says. “We’re not exactly fucking wanting for time, are we?” Ashton takes a step further into the alleyway, almost out of Luke’s line of vision. 

“Come on , Luke,” he says, and takes another step, and Luke’s stomach tightens uncomfortably as he does. 

“Don’t,” Luke says, before he can stop himself. 

“Why?” Ashton says, sounding exasperated. “Look, the longer you stand here arguing, the longer it’ll take us either way.” 

“I’m taking the main road,” Luke says. “Just- let’s fucking walk on the main road.” 

“You don’t even know the way,” Ashton says. “I know the way.” 

“I’m not going that way.” Even in the darkness and despite the distance, Luke can see Ashton roll his eyes. 

“There’s nothing fucking down here, Luke,” Ashton calls, taking another step into the alleyway, and Luke edges forwards without even thinking about it, needing to keep Ashton in sight. It’s not really working, though, because Ashton’s walking further in and Luke’s at an angle to the alleyway, and it’s making him panic a little.

“Don’t fucking go down there,” Luke says, through gritted teeth. “Ashton, seriously. Just fucking come on the main road with me.” 

“What’s your problem?” Ashton says, and even though he sounds genuinely surprised and curious, it makes a flash of anger flare up in Luke. 

“Can you stop being a cunt for, like, two fucking minutes?” he bites out. 

“Luke, I-” Ashton cuts himself off with a shout, and the anger’s gone, replaced with pure fucking fear and panic and protect protect protect running through Luke’s mind, and Luke’s barely even aware of his surroundings as he takes off, sprinting as fast as he can to the alleyway, getting to the entrance to it just as Ashton comes running out, wild-eyed. He doesn’t stop or say anything, just grabs Luke’s hand as he passes and tugs him hard in the opposite direction. They run to the main road, Luke’s heart pounding in a way that definitely isn’t just from the exercise, and then they run up it, and they don’t stop running until they’re outside the station. Luke doesn’t even realise that they’re still holding hands until Ashton drops his hand to lean on his knees, panting, hair completely windswept as it falls into his eyes. 

“What the fuck was that?” Luke spits, fury beginning to set in between the racing heartbeats and gasped breaths. 

“Someone fucking-” Ashton waves a hand, like it’s going to explain what ‘someone’ did. It doesn’t fucking matter, because those two words alone are enough to make Luke’s heart tighten, to make his stomach clench

“I fucking said-”

“I know, but it’s fucking five p.m., and I always go that way-”

“I told you-”

“I know, Luke,” Ashton says, breathing almost back to normal, and he straightens and gives Luke a look that looks almost sad. “Why d’you think that was?” 

“Why do I- are you fucking insane? Because it’s a creepy fucking alleyway? Anyone would fucking know not to go down there!” Luke says, throwing his hands in the air. 

“You were so fucking adamant,” Ashton says. 

“Yeah, and if you’d fucking listened-” 

“Luke,” Ashton interrupts. “I didn’t sense fucking anything.” Luke stops.

“Are you trying to say this is another fucking soulmate experience?” he says. “We don’t have three. Most people don’t even have one. ” 

“No,” Ashton says. “I think it’s the same one. The first one. The protecting one.” 

Oh. 

Oh.  

It’s kind of a blur already, even though it’s only been like, three minutes, but Luke remembers the haze of protect protect protect that clouded every single other one of his thoughts, that stopped anything and everything else - including his own safety - from mattering, that made him move without even thinking, running straight fucking into the alleyway he’d been so uneasy about because nothing mattered more than Ashton. 

“Fuck,” he says, and Ashton nods grimly. 

“Yeah,” he says. Neither of them need to say didn’t realise it went both ways, because it’s both written clearly across their faces. 

“You got this on the fucking phone?” Luke can’t help but ask. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says again. Luke rakes a hand through his hair, trying to organise his thoughts. All he can really focus on is the what the fuck and Jesus Christ and fucking hell swirling around in a mess in his mind. 

“Well,” he says. “Shit.” Ashton huffs out a shaky laugh, raises his eyebrows, and nods, and Luke thinks that about sums it up. 

  -------

  They don’t talk much on the journey back to the hotel. Luke snipes at Ashton when Ashton tries to show him how to use his contactless card on the barriers, because he’d much rather use a paper ticket, thank you very fucking much, and Ashton calls Luke back when he heads down the wrong escalator. Luke asks once what their stop is and nods when Ashton answers him, and then they don’t speak again until they’re in the safety of the brightly-lit hotel lobby. 

Luke’s not entirely sure how to take the silence between them in the lift up to the second floor. It still feels awkward, stilted, uncomfortable, but there’s something grander now, something bigger than the both of them that they can both feel but neither of them want to acknowledge. 

Luke fusses over Clifford when they get back into the hotel room, pulls out the pack of dog food he’d brought with him because he hadn’t been sure what brands the UK would have, and Clifford munches his dinner happily while Luke carefully removes his coat and plugs his phone in to charge, not looking at Ashton. It feels overcrowded, even though the room is made for two people and certainly big enough to accommodate both of them. 

He takes his time washing up Clifford’s bowl, refilling his water, but Clifford seems perfectly content to doze back off to sleep after his meal, leaving Luke with nothing to do but think about how fucking tired he actually is. 

“I think I might sleep,” he says, even though he doesn’t really have to announce it to Ashton. Ashton looks up from where he is on his bed, book in his hand, and nods. 

“I think I might too,” he says. “Do you want the bathroom first?” Luke blinks at him. 

“Oh,” he says. “Uh. Yeah. Thanks.” Ashton nods, and turns back to his book, but when Luke turns his back to get his things out of his still-packed suitcase, he can feel Ashton’s eyes on him. 

He makes quick work of putting his pyjamas on and brushing his teeth, only hesitating with his hand on the bathroom door handle to leave as he throws a quick glance at himself in the mirror, because he looks so fucking disarmed in his pyjamas, so strangely small and vulnerable. Whatever, he thinks, forcing himself to push the door open, because what the fuck else is he going to do, sleep in the bathroom? 

“Bathroom’s free,” he says, because it feels like what he should say, turning his back to Ashton and making a show out of putting his clothes in his suitcase. He should probably just unpack it, he thinks - he is going to be here for four weeks, after all - but not tonight. He’s too fucking tired for that. 

“Thanks,” Ashton says, and Luke hears the sound of a book closing and then feet shuffling as Ashton heads for the bathroom. He waits for the door to click shut behind him before tucking himself into bed, drawing the duvet close to his chin to try and keep the cold out. Why the fuck is it so cold in England, seriously? 

Ashton doesn’t take long, or maybe Luke falls into microsleep, or something, because it feels like it’s about two seconds before he’s coming out of the bathroom, placing his clothes on the chair opposite his bed, and getting into bed. He’s got plaid pyjama bottoms and a casual t-shirt on, and he looks just as disarmed and vulnerable as Luke had in the mirror, which makes Luke feel simultaneously better and worse. 

“Can I turn the light off?” Ashton asks, and Luke nods. Ashton reaches over, clicks the light switch, and they’re plunged into darkness. 

“Night,” Ashton says after a moment, and there’s a shuffling sound from his bed. 

“Night,” Luke says, suddenly wide awake. He rolls onto his side and stares at the wall opposite him, willing the exhaustion that he’s felt all day to return. Even if he hadn’t slept, like, three fucking hours, he should be tired; it’s the middle of the night in Sydney. 

He feels the time passing, times it by Ashton’s shuffling and Clifford’s even breathing and the noises from the street outside, and he’s sure it’s been at least an hour before there’s what sounds like Ashton flopping onto his back and sighing. 

“Are you awake?” he whispers. Luke debates saying nothing, but knows if he evens his breathing out now it’s going to be pretty fucking obvious he wasn’t. 

“Yeah,” he says, a little reluctantly. 

“I can’t sleep,” Ashton says. 

“Me either.” There’s a moment of silence, and then Ashton says- 

“We could push the beds together?” Luke squeezes his eyes shut, and Ashton takes the silence as hesitation. “Just for tonight. We’d sleep much better, and we probably need it for tomorrow.” 

“No,” Luke says. Civil is one thing, but spending an entire night pressed up against Ashton? That’s something else entirely. 

“Luke, I-” 

“Ashton, I said no.” Ashton’s silent for a moment, and then sighs. 

“Okay,” he says, and it sounds a little small. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to, like. Push.” Luke inhales deeply, exhales heavily, and rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“It’s fine,” he says. 

Ashton says nothing, but Luke doesn’t hear his breathing even out until Luke himself falls into an uneasy, dreamless sleep, and when he wakes up in the morning, exhausted and grumpy, Ashton’s staring up at the ceiling again (or maybe still).

taglist: @sadistmichael @callmeboatboy @clumsyclifford @angel-cal @queer-5sos @haikucal @tirednotflirting @cthofficial @tigerteeff @i-am-wierd-always

if you want to be added to my taglist pls fill in this form!

[honghuas]

Little PSA !

I AM GOING TO BE SLIGHTLY INACTIVE ONCE SHADOWBRINGERS DROPS.  

I want to take my time with it since I’m the type of person heavily interested in exploring new maps and devouring storyline, so it may cut into my free time to post on here, marking a noticeable drop in activity ! Fear not though ! I’ll be back once the hype dies down for me and my FC settles on a raid schedule. I will NOT be posting any spoilers so no need to worry about that. If anything, maybe a gpose of my huahua viera lol. 

For now I may drop in to make a quick post or two, update about the most recent chapters in tgcf, or my queue of memes may follow up for a little bit. After that, I’m still working on meta posts about the cave of 10,000 gods , hua cheng’s “almost” ascension, and how recently it’s been discovered his character was perhaps heavily influenced by the miao people . Please look forward to it !

If you need to reach me or wanna chat (free, easy, loved) IM me for my discord !

[everybrook]

everybrook panels in queue have been caught up for a bit, so i have an announcement!

moving forwards, i’m gonna be trying to use only panels from shonen jump and not. illegal rips online. since SJ now offers recent chapters for free on their app!

this is to support the actual series w traffic to the site! it also means, since SJ chapters drop in time with Japan’s release, that everybrook panels will always be posted after legal release! a no spoiler zone here

it’ll be quite some time before any of you guys see the effects of that (since we’re at 828...) but i figure it’s an important thing to say

[bytheangell]

Support System - Chapter 5

When Alec's favorite show gets cancelled and he takes to messaging customer service repeatedly to show his support, he doesn't expect to connect so well with the support representative he keeps getting paired off with.  (Read it from the start on AO3!)

Alec feels the heat in his face as he stutters something out - he isn’t even sure what at this point because his brain shut down entirely in his flustered panic. But the attractive man he spilled coffee on like a total klutz is still smiling, laughing and shrugging and disappearing into the coffee shop with a wink. The thought occurs to him to follow - to buy him a coffee, at least. But he remembers how late he’s already running, and it’s the easiest excuse to cling to as he turns to leave.

Still, his thoughts linger on the man - those dark brown eyes that seemed to flash with flecks of gold when the light caught them (though he never make eye contact long enough to tell if it was just the light playing tricks on him), the way the sleeves of his dress shirt clung to his impressively large biceps, and how the tailored plum vest he wore over it suited him so perfectly. And those maroon highlights in his hair…

...the blush was back on Alec’s face even though he is now an entire block away. He needs to stop. It isn’t like he can go out for drinks in the city his entire family lives in! He didn’t have a choice but to say no; what if someone sees him? Izzy is the only one who knows he’s gay, and if his brothe,r or parents, or even any of his parent’s friend’s see him out and say something… he just isn’t ready for that. But it still feels nice to be hit on, even if he did chicken out on the follow-through.

So he forces the thoughts from his mind the best he can as he steps through the door of the shop. Or at least he thinks he does.

“...what happened?” Izzy asks immediately.

“What?” He asks, confused, placing his coffee and bag down on the nearest counter.

“Your face is right red and you have a dopey grin on your face.”

Shit.

“Oh, I ran into someone at the coffee shop. Literally. I spilled coffee on them and it was embarrassing and we’re going to pretend it never happened now.”

“And on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot was he?”

“Izzy.” He chastises, rolling his eyes, but when he’s met with nothing more than crossed arms and a defiant stare he sighs. “11.” And since he knows she won’t let it go that easily he pauses only briefly before adding (and not without a hint of satisfaction). “I offered to pay to have his shirt cleaned and he said I could pay him back with a drink instead.”  

“You got a date?” Isabelle asks incredulously, but Alec shakes his head quickly before she can get her hopes up too high.

“No. I said I couldn’t and left.” He sees the disappointment all over her face. “You know I can’t, Iz. If someone saw-” “I know, I know.” And her tone is understanding but laced with sadness. “I can’t tell you how to live your life, big brother, but I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand more times if I have to - you deserve to be happy. No one who matters is going to judge you for that. And if they do, I’ll kick their asses.”

“I know you will,” he says with a fond smile. “Thanks.” He braces himself for more but Isabelle drops it there and the Lightwood siblings get to work opening the store.

--

The day passes by slowly and uneventfully after that, and Alec is back home and falling into what is quickly becoming a new routine. Eat, sleep, wake up to a midnight alarm so he can catch a chat or two with Magnus, universe willing. The queues are down to 3 or so minutes each time now, still holding strong, and he passes the time in between by sending out tweets and e-mails, and writing brief exchanges with the first two support reps he gets connected to who aren’t Magnus, until:

Support: You are Chatting with Magnus B. Magnus: Just the name I wanted to see.   Alec: Hello again to you, too. Magnus: One of these times I’m going to come across another Alec L. and things are going to get hilariously awkward. Alec: You could always use a regular greeting, you know. Magnus: Where’s the fun in that? I like living on the edge. Alec: I wish I had some of that mentality. Magnus: You can take some of mine. I have plenty to go around.   Alec: Heh, thanks. Alec: Any word on the show? Magnus: Unfortunately, nothing new on my end. Same old blanket statement. Alec: Damn. Alec: Sorry, can I curse in here? Probably not. Magnus: If you think you’re the first person to swear in a customer service chat, boy do I have news for you. Alec: Good point. So where are you in Season 2 now?

They chat about the show for a few minutes before Alec realizes he’s still far too tired for this right now. Every time he blinks his eyes stay shut for longer and longer, and it isn’t like Magnus doesn’t have an actual job to do here. Alec: Well, I should let you get back to work. Maybe I’ll try and pop back in later. Magnus: I hope you do. This chat has ended.

Alec decides to try and sleep the rest of the night and wake up early enough to catch Magnus before the end of his shift in the morning. A plan that would’ve worked great if a massive rumble of thunder followed by a tremor that rattled his entire apartment didn’t wake him up at 2:34 am, and try as he might he just can’t fall back asleep. He pulls his laptop off of the bedside table and boots it up, browsing through the #SaveTheHunt tags for a few minutes before donating to a fundraiser set up in the campaign’s name for an amazing LGBTQ+ Nonprofit. And then, when it becomes clear he isn’t about to fall asleep any time soon, he decides to try the support chat again.

This time there is no queue, which is good, because it takes three tries to get to Magnus.

Support: You are Chatting with Magnus B. Magnus: Welcome back. Alec: I couldn’t sleep, and this seemed better than tossing and turning for another hour. Magnus: Not that I’m glad you can’t sleep, but it’s been an uncharacteristically quiet night here. I thought I’d be glad to see things die down but I kinda miss it. Alec: I’m sure it’ll pick back up. We’re far from giving up - in fact, there was a new fundraising campaign started today in the show’s name, benefitting LGBTQ+ youth in honor of all the representation and impact the show has in the community. Magnus: That’s amazing! I’ll have to check that out after work. I’d be remiss not to give back in honor of the positive bisexual showing so far. It isn’t often you find something in pop culture that goes out of its way to give us such a good rep.  Alec: Oh, you’re bi? Magnus: Sorry, tmi. Alec: No, it’s cool. Alec: That’s cool.

Alec hesitates, hands hovering over the keyboard as he thinks back to earlier at his desire to live on the edge a little more. To the missed opportunity at the coffee shop. To Isabelle telling him that he deserves to be himself. His pulse is racing, but that’s stupid, because it’s just a word. It’s just a word to a person who doesn’t even know him. A person he’ll never meet. And there’s a certain safety in the anonymity of the internet, isn’t there? He’s just a name here, and not an uncommon one at that. He can be anyone, anywhere. And if he can’t bring himself to type the words to a stranger on the internet how will he ever say them out loud to the people around him? It seems like the perfect starting point.

What does he really have to lose?

He takes a deep breath and starts to type.

Alec: I told my sister I was gay after watching the first two seasons with her, so I get it. It’s important. Seeing the support the everyone gave, even after the whole wedding fiasco, had a huge impact on me. I’m not sure I ever would’ve done it otherwise. Magnus: Oh wow. That is big. Congratulations! Alec: Thanks, but it isn’t that impressive. I’m 22 and she’s the only one I ever told. Magnus: Everyone moves at their own pace. I’m sure you’ll get there.

Alex exhales the breath he didn’t realize he’s holding. Admitting that truth about himself to someone other than Isabelle is so freeing, no matter what the context, and Alec feels a small sense of peace settle over him. Nothing as intense as what he felt talking to Isabelle, but nice in its own way.

The conversation seems to flow so easily after that, and Alec forgets his nerves almost entirely. They talk about a mixture of personal anecdotes and things from the show (with Alec carefully treading around spoilers from things beyond the point Magnus stopped at in his reactions and replies) for much longer than Alec realizes, both of them losing track of time. It starts to feel like he’s talking to a close friend rather than some faceless stranger across the internet when the tone of Magnus’ text takes a sudden, abrupt turn.

Magnus: I need you to end this chat right now, but I promise I’ll explain later. Alec: What? Magnus: Please. This chat has ended.

And Alec sits there, feeling a bit lost and more than a little confused, staring at the blank screen of the ended conversation. It is difficult to pick up on intonations through written word, but he could sense the urgency behind Magnus’ request enough to not question it. But something uneasy sits in the pit of his stomach as he wonders if he said something wrong. They talked a lot more this time, and about personal things, not just the show. But it all seemed alright at the time. So what happened? What changed?

Alec wonders exactly when ‘later’ is -  if he’s supposed to try to talk to him again right away, or in an hour, or maybe not for the rest of the night?  He has nothing to go off of. He resolves to wait at least an hour but before the time is up he dozes off, and doesn’t wake back up until the sunlight is already pouring in through the window. What time is it? Maybe he can still catch--

But the clock reads 8:05, and Alec’s heart drops. Magnus’ shift is over, and if he’s going to get any answers he’ll have to wait for them now.

[chromemuffin]

Quan Zhi Gao Shou / The King’s Avatar Manhua (Chapters 0-5)

What I really enjoyed right from the start of the animation was the realistic nature of the game and characters. I only play games sporadically myself, and usually handhelds at that, but even I could relate to Ye Xiu’s journey to the top of the new server. I mean, usually you just take for granted that the main character is aiming for the top of something, but it’s difficult to relate to saving the world or leading a gang of misfits across the land fighting monsters. Climbing to the top in a game, however? We’ve probably all tried it in some way or another, even if we failed along the way (I still haven’t completed the National Pokedex in any Pokemon game, ok).

This also could have been stated at the beginning of a review for the whole series, but this is a long one, the novel translations aren’t even complete yet. So it’s here now as a preface.

And now it’s time for my far less composed liveblogging! This is not going to be as detailed as my Shoukoku no Altair one by a long shot, I think I’d collapse of exhaustion before I finished.

Chapter 0: Cause

It is both unnerving and relaxing to not obsess about language nuance like I do when I read Japanese stuff. On the other hand, it feels weird being back to the state of not understanding more than a few words here and there...

Colored panels are the best. The color (cold tones) to black & white to color (warm tones) back to black & white is a neat contrast.

I’m honestly really excited to get all these names and teams straight. I watched several groups’ subs for the early episodes and all the names were translated differently, leading me to have no clue who anyone was or which team they belonged to except the currently teamless Ye Xiu lol.

Chapter 1: As we drink, the lute signals to go to war

Look at that smug smirk. Ye Xiu’s relationship with Su Mucheng is just really nice with how supportive they are of each other.

Damn it, I said I wasn’t going to go panel-by-panel! But I like the contrast between these two shots. One is as he is turning away, after having reassured Su Mucheng that he will be returning and it really is fine that his old team literally kicked him to the curb. The other is once he is turned away. He seems fine in the first shot, sort of indifferent, while the dark shadow over his eyes in the next panel suggests differently. But he’s not one to complain.

Unexpected comedy shot lol. I appreciate the life in the internet cafe, everyone excited about Glory and the new server haha. In the animation, it was very quiet when he walked in, and they had to 3D animate it.

“As a female Launcher player, Mucheng never stopped smiling even when she blew up her opponent to pieces... It’s actually quite scary when you think about it.”

haha. He’s more expressive in the manhua. It lets you have these cute little musings in between scenes that the animations never have time for.

lol he just goes and hijacks her account. who does that. “the battle started already so I finished it for you. but don’t worry, I won!” that. isn’t the point.

Hi scary demon Ye Xiu! Side note: they’re doing a good job giving the background characters different features.

Also, thanks to not looking at the characters for their names, I keep getting Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu mixed up. I...really need to go find out how it’s written.

Not going to feature all of Chen Guo’s fun expressions, but so far there have been a lot of them and they’re great. (edit for Chen Guo’s name which I derped on and forgot at the time of writing this post. lol the manga doesn’t mention her whole name - Chen Guo - until a few chapters later. I think the other patrons call her ‘Sister Chen’ and the reader finds out her given name when Ye Xiu does. but in the novel, I think the narrative switches over to her at some point, so you find out her full name before Ye Xiu does...)

I love sayings, and how they are so weird when translated literally - Japanese ones are like this, too, because a lot of them are Chinese in origin. My favorite is probably 亀毛兎角.

I hope this is a translation thing because damn, what a way to sugar-coat the truth.

Chapter 2: Since ancient times, how many have returned from war?

I wish I knew the references to classical Chinese poetry/literature, it makes the series 10x more fun when you know the origin of some of their usernames and such.

Ok, overdoing it much, Sun Xiang’s posse? You don’t need to be extra nasty about it to his face.

I always really liked this expression of his reluctance, this human emotion from a guy who looks rather calm and composed (or sheepish, occasionally) most of the time. He takes things in stride, but here you definitely get the bitterness of his situation.

And now he has to laugh it off with a smile! He does a good job of keeping it together throughout this whole deal though.

lol what kind of expression is that. “I like working nights!” why the cat face/ears. why. that was such a quick interview lol.

“Actually, we aren’t lacking people, the advert you saw was from a long time ago.”

That’s...actually, interesting. So Chen Guo is hiring him anyways? Or am I missing something in the translation?

You are a surprisingly funny man, Ye Xiu.

This is me. (it says ‘Verify faster!’)

lol Ye Xiu looking at the beginner’s guide. I never read the instructions though, even for a complicated games I’m new to, I just sort of jump in and hope I don’t die in the first few stages. Pretty sure the only game I had to actually read the instructions for was Final Fantasy Type-0? It’s difficult getting into a good rhythm without reading the in-game tips for that game...plus, some of the more advanced techniques are hard to pull off.

Chapter 3: Don’t laugh at those who lie drunk on the battlefield

If I had time, I’d totally make edits, buuut I do not and photoshop is on my other computer. but when did he get those noodles...?

lol and he just outs himself right on the spot.

That is one dark expression, I love it. The retirement thing is definitely a sore spot for him.

“you’re a professional. but also an amateur.” lol must be so weird to be Ye Xiu

“Don’t fake it, actually you’re not even retired. You didn’t get a spot and got kicked out, right?”

Ouch. Hit it where it hurts, why don’t you. Though she isn’t aware of who he actually is yet. He did indeed get kicked out, and it’s probably worse because he did have a spot previously, he was at the top even.

Starting avatar! I love the character designs in this series, across the animation and manhua.

“Suddenly I miss those games that let people pass through each other!”

HOW COULD THEY WITH SO MANY PEOPLE PLAYING. It reminds me of the Sims flailing their arms because you stuck a cabinet in the wrong spot and they can’t get through.

“Such a civilized way to kill monsters, I’m not used to it.”

“This only happens when a new server opens, you’ll definitely wish you can queue again in the future.”

I really like the side comments. I don’t play multiplayer games, but the comments definitely breathe some life into it.

LOL. “How to endure the shame? I was once known as Glory’s textbook level expert and now I have to use a beginner’s guide to do beginner’s quests.” You can feel his soul dying little by little in these panels...

I love how many titles he earned...”Does no commercials”.

And, of course, him trying to reveal who he actually is, only for her not to believe him.

lol this comment: “It’s so hard to play in first person view!” That’s actually how I feel, I dunno, I mostly play handhelds and older games. I flipped out when I tried to play Final Fantasy: Dirge of Cerberus in first person, before I figured out there was actually a third person view...I’m just really lame when it comes to games, ok.

Ooh, it’s here! The umbrella! What an odd choice of weapon, usually they’re the joke weapons. Well, it’s better than the bus stop sign from Persona 3.

I’ve read spoilers about who this guy standing behind him is, and I am not ready to actually come across that part in the novel.

Side note: I like the avatar’s design better here than in the animation. Wonder if he changes outfit later on...

Chapter 4: Green Forest’s Sleeping Moon

“Let me help you, I’ll give you the drops as well.” “I’m [a] male.” Lol. I really do love these little dialogues.

I also love the usernames, I really am hopeless with it comes to naming things myself.

Hello, Sleeping Moon! I remember you! Sort of.

I love how Ye Xiu totally has a plan going into this, and his thought process is written out. It’s a mundane detail, but I like it. (I’m the type of person who doesn’t read the instructions provided by the game, but will go look everything up online because regardless if I played the game before or not, I like having a Plan when I go into it...I’m impatient, Shadow of the Colossus is the only game I actually take time to explore.)

The two modes of communication for Glory also make it interesting...Both text and audio. It’s fun having both.

haha these drawings have so much life in them

Including these.

Way to look awesome and dramatic with your umbrella in hand.

lol “You planning to advance into a Cleric? Why don’t you just be our caretaker for good?” dying inside, I tell you, dying inside

Knowing the spoilers like I do, THIS ISN’T OKAY. no sad flashback scene so early on. c’mon.

I like how Sleeping Moon keeps talking to him like he’s a newbie, too. It’s pretty funny.

Chapter 5: You reap what you sow

Finally, a chapter title I’m familiar with!

The naaames: Sleeping Moon, Just a Passerby, Not Just Cannon Fodder, Lord Grim, and Fallen Sun

I like ‘Just a Passerby’.

Hey, you even get to say some last words after your HP hits 0 haha.

“Don’t you know that if you die in a dungeon in Glory, you can’t come back?!” lol I’m side-eyeing all the other ‘if you die in the game you die in real life’ stories...

They gave Sleeping Moon some really awesome expressions, gotta say.

“But your acting isn’t at all convincing.” Actually, this is vaguely terrifying.

Also, I appreciate how Ye Xiu is calling him out on this whole plan and how he meant to cheat everyone while Ye Xiu is basically doing the same. haha

I’m not going to screencap it all, but the sequence of the boss slowly killing Sleeping Moon like the cat it is, and Ye Xiu’s reactions, are gold.

The umbrella is also really cool of course.

And here starts the drama on the 10th server! It’s honestly great, and quite true to real life haha. Well, real life can probably be weirder than even fiction...

AAAND that’s finally it! 5 chapters + the 0 chapter done! Oh geez that took forever...Anyway, I love all the little details the manhua can fit in that the animation can’t and I look forward to reading the novel version of these chapters sometime soon.

onward →

[flyingcookierambles]

Stuff I’ve read since the Prince of Fools/in 2018

Books

The Black Gate Chronicles by Phil Tucker (it’s an indie fantasy trash series lol. I binged it by buying all 5 books. Enjoyable but the quality of it goes from a high fantasy  to Black Clover with a ton of battle scenes. Also, yes. Black Clover, as in the manga/anime series. More on that later. Also, problematic, and I didn’t really want to talk about it too in depth so I didn’t mention this earlier or whatever)

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater (It took me a bit to get into this one, but when the action/plot kicked off, oh boy. It kicked off. I liked it and finished it in one night, mostly because I was trapped in an ice skating rink while my sisters skated and I had nothing else to do lol. I still have to read the second book, my reading queue is pretty long…)

The Dragon’s Blade Trilogy by Michael R Miller (I already wrote about this one here in a crappy review lol. Being Darnuir is suffering)

Sand by Hugh Howey (I think I actually read this before the Prince of Fools, but I just wanted to say that it was a pretty slow-paced book and when the plot kicks off it gets good. A family drama + post apocalyptic setting in a vast desert)

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (I finally read this but also kinda forgot what happened in the previous books lol)

Redwall (this was enjoyable! Talking mice and a small war.)

Hunger Makes the Wolf (I’ve already written a crappy review on this)

Good Omens (I’ve already written a crappy review on this)

Senlin Ascends (The Books of Babel 1)

The Greatcoats (Traitor’s Blade/ Knight’s Shadow/ Saint’s Blood)

All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries 1)

Silent Hall (The Godserfs 1)

The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn

The Red Knight (the Traitor Son Cycle 1)

Prince of Thorns (uhh  oof. The Broken Empire)

Calm; Decay 1 - Who Killed Cock Robin?

Black River Chronicles (I’ve already written something on this I think)

Kneebone Boy (I’ve already written about this)

Un Lun Dun (I think ive already written about this)

Loom Saga (I’ve already written about this. Twice)

The Vagrant/The Malice (I love love love these!!!! Def should have warnings for major character death and body horror tho because of the post apocalyptic setting. I have a post for the Malice in my drafts, but so far (that is for the past few months) it’s just been the title in a post lol)

Red Rising and Golden Sun

The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in (surprisingly nonfiction! A memoir!!!)

Shades of Magic

Epitaph for a Peach (also a nonfiction???!?! This was for class lol)

The Emperor’s Edge (as of Nov 10th, I’m on book 6, Forged in Blood part 1. I’m really enjoying it! We got slow burn romance, a conspiracy of evil capitalists, and found family tropes!)

Dance of Thieves (slept on it for a month and then finally just binge read it it the span of like 2-3 days)

Manga that I’ve read (please check my Kitsu for more info, since I am reading on-going series and they are too numerous to really list here)

Tegami Bachi (entire series), Case Study of Vanitas (only the first 3 books, please dont send me spoilers), Dungeon Meshi, Children of the Whales, Gangsta, No. 6, Golden Kamuy, Giant Spider and Me, Again!, Toilet bound Hanaka-kun (only #1, but it seems really cute and I’m looking forward to the anime), Niehime Kemono no Ou, The Dungeon of Black Company (only 1-2), Fire Punch (1-7), Nyankees (1-2), Of the Red, the Light, and the Ayakashi (entire series), Afterschool Charisma (1-11) To Your Eternity (1-current I think chapter 90 or something the series is on now?), All You Need is Kill (1-2), Satoko and Nada (1-2), Inuyashiki (1), 7SEEDS, Land of the Lustrous (1-4), Pandora Hearts (finally finished!!), World Trigger (reread 1 to current + I have a Viz subscription so I’m reading it when the new monthly chapter comes out), Hi-Fi Cluster, Daughter of the Emperor, eIDLIVE (honestly thinking about dropping), Bloody Sweet, Boruto, Golden Kamuy

Light Novels - Tokyo Ghoul: Days, Infinite Dendrogram 2, Slime Tensei 2

Comics - Saga by Fiona Staple and Brian K Vaughan (I’m all caught up to #9 and I’m sobbing), Descender by Jeff Lemire (I’m at #5), Fable (I think it is an omnibus edition. It’s a large hardcover. I’m already past the civil war thing), The Adventure Zone 1, Stand Still Stay Silent, Lumberjanes (only 1)

[breath0ftheglacian]

A Man of No Consequence

A Man Of No Consequence - Ardyn x fem Reader (NSFW) COMPLETE. All chapters may contain spoilers!

CH 1: Into The Lion’s Mouth CH 2: Famous Seafood CH 3: The Covenant CH 4: Blind Spot CH 5: The Revelation CH 6: In The Lap of The Gods CH 7: Across the Seas CH 8: In The Lap of The Gods, Revisited CH 9: Callings CH 10: Hand of a King, Heart of a King CH 11: Into the Dark CH 12: Breath Of The Glacian CH 13: Redemption CH 14: Cure for Insomnia CH 15: A Gentleman’s Agreement

Chapter 2: Famous Seafood "Miss? Excuse me, miss?"

A loud tap on the window next to your head wakes you, and you try your best to comprehend where you are.

"We're here, miss," the driver opens the car door from the outside. "That'll be 100 gil."

Wiping the sleep off your eyes, you nod, then digest the words you just heard the man say. "Are you kidding me? It used to be half that!"

"Well, a man's got to make a living in these dangerous times, you know. Never know what's around the corner," the driver is tapping his toes impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah..." You dig into your hastily packed bag and rustle through some paper notes to gather together the fare. "I'm so sorry... I've only got eighty-seven."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Please, I'm sorry. I still need to get on the ferry somehow, and this is all the cash I have. I swear, I thought it'd be less..."

The driver looks at you narrowing his eyes and biting his lip, trying to analyze if he could squeeze a few more pennies out of you.

"Alright then, miss. A nice young lady like yourself shouldn't be traveling alone," he says, counting the money you hand him, "You take care now. There are a lot of weirdos out there!"

"I bet..."

You gather your belongings from the back seat and jump out of the car. The driver climbs in, but leans out the window just before he's about to drive off.

"By the way, the last I heard, they've suspended the ferries for the time being! Don't know if that's just a rumour. Well, good luck!"

The car turns to the road, wheels skidding as the driver accelerates recklessly and disappears into the distance.

Wait, what did he say?

You quickly look around to see a local, anyone, to ask about the ferry. It's late and the parking lot is quiet, as is the sandy beach. The only noises to be heard are the faint music and sound of tourists having their dinner at the hotel restaurant. Hotel... Shit! you curse to yourself, as you realize you've just expended all your cash funds on the cab journey.

It's all been a huge mess after the day of the Signing Ceremony. You have no idea if your transmitter worked, if they got any information through it, nor where Nyx or any of the other Glaives are. The city of Insomnia came under attack in the early afternoon, and all you had time to do was pack your essentials and head to the nearest outpost at Hammerhead. Hundreds of people were fleeing by foot, hundreds more stayed... You haven't managed to get hold of anyone since you left, leaving you with scarce opportunity to plan ahead. In the end you decided to make way to Altissia by a ferry, to your cousin's house; to gather intelligence, and to formulate a further plan.

At the moment, your only plan is to find a bed and a shower. With no money, it could prove to be quite the challenge, though.

Picking up your bags, you make your way slowly down the long pier that leads to the hotel. The smell of smoked fish fills your nostrils as you're sorely reminded you haven't had a proper meal for ten hours. You walk past the dizzyingly delicious aromas in the restaurant, past the cook joyously preparing her speciality dishes, and approach the hotel clerk at the desk.

"Good evening madam, how may I help you?"

"Good evening, uh..." Digging out your purse, you take you the small change you're left with. "Do you accept credit? You see, I'm on my way to... I mean, you must've heard what happened in Insomnia, and I'm one of the people fleeing the chaos, so I only had a little time to prepare, and turns out the taxi was way too expensive, and..."

"No madam," you're crudely interrupted by the man behind the desk, "I'm afraid I haven't heard about Insomnia. And I'm afraid we only take cash. There's a caravan near the parking lot, if you want to have a look."

"Do they take credit?"

"I don't think so, madam, no."

"Ok," you stare at the man, trying to keep your patience. "Look, it's been a reaaally long day, and I reaaally need a shower, and a bed, so, what could you suggest? I'm happy to give you any of my valuables as a deposit. As soon as I get to Altissia, I will have more cash..."

"There's a camping ground nearby, miss."

"Are you joking? Do I look like I'm carrying a tent?"

"I'm sorry, miss." The clerk looks over your shoulder, at an elderly couple queueing up behind you. "Please, right this way," he says ushering them forward.

"Goddammit!" You let out, earning several displeased looks from the diners down in the restaurant. You gather your bags once again, and make your way back through the dining area.

"So sorry to disturb your meal!" You declare as you huff and puff down to the pier with your bags.

You arrive at the parking lot once again, throw down your bags and kick the bigger one. "I'm so tireeed..." you say out loud, and dramatically collapse sitting on your suitcase. You look around the parking lot. Not many cars, considering the situation back home, you ponder. One car in particular catches you eye, a really ugly one in your opinion, with a weird pom-pom on the antenna. At least they HAVE a car. I don't even have a car to sleep in...

You stop to consider your options. The sand on the beach looks soft, but sleeping near the tide is not very inviting. You consider borrowing money off strangers, but understand it's a long shot. There's a younger couple near on the shore, but they seem too concentrated on each other for you to bother them. You scan across the beach. Not a soul in sight, apart from one tall creepy looking dude leaning on the pier... You perk up and look behind you as you realize he's looking straight at you. Not a soul standing near you. The tall figure steps down from the pier and approaches you.

It's Ardyn Izunia.

Rapidly you dig into your pocket, finding a small brochure for the Crow's Nest diners. You spread it out, and pretend to be deep in thought reading it, hoping he hasn't spotted you.

But of course, he has.

"Well, what a coincidence!" He declares, stopping right in front of you. You see two shiny boots appear behind the extremely interesting brochure you're studying.

"I never would have imagined running into you here. Of course I did hope, a little. Are you sure you didn't follow me?"

You know there's no use to pretend you don't recognise him, but you can't decipher wether he's figured you out yet. You lift your gaze and meet that familiar grin.

"Sir, what a pleasant surprise!" you chirp, biting your lip.

"Come, let me help you up," he says extending his arm. With one quick pull he lifts you on your feet. "Now tell me, what brings you here, my dear?"

"Work," you quickly make up, "I'm headed to Altissia for some shoots tomorrow."

"Marvellous. And did you manage to get out of Insomnia without any problems?"

"I-I did, sir. The chaos broke out just as I was leaving."

"I'm glad to hear," he says lowering his voice. Pausing, he analyses you with his piercing gaze. You can tell he knows more than he's letting out. "It's such a shame it came to that. Mind you I have nothing to do with it - the army is completely out of my control. I merely deal with the diplomatic side of things, you see." You nod. He's making you increasingly nervous.

"So please don't hold a grudge against me. I did so admire that beautiful city, too."

"Of course not, sir," you say quietly. You remember Nyx. If only you could've reached him. Nyx would've known what to do. Without any knowledge of how things turned out, you feel confused and powerless. "Useless..." you whisper to yourself, shaking your head.

"What's that now?" He smiles as you glance back at him. "I heard you were having some trouble finding lodgings earlier."

"Ah... The cab driver robbed me off. I had to part with all my cash. It's OK, though. I can rough it for one night, I think."

"Yes, you seem to be out of luck. I'm afraid the hotel is full anyway. But there's plenty of space in my room, if you fancy sharing the roof for the night. I hate to leave a charming lady like yourself under the stars. Choice is yours, of course."

You briefly scan the beach once more, before promptly responding. "Yes please!"

He lets out a heartfelt laugh. "Good! Allow me, then."

With one of your bags in his hand, he turns and walks back the pier. You pick up the rest of your belongings and follow.

  The room is spacious and modestly decorated, with big windows opening a view over the quay, and two comfortable looking beds set apart. Was he expecting me?

You drop your stuff on a chair and sit on one of the beds.

"Which one do you want?" He asks in his grandiose style, waving his arm at the beds.

"I don't mind at all. Thank you so much for taking me in."

"You're quite welcome." He walks around the room, taking a peek at the quay, moving the curtains slightly. "Now I do believe I promised you a dinner, didn't I? Are you at all hungry?" "I'm absolutely starving!" you exclaim, excited at the idea of some food finally touching your lips.

"Good! Shall I leave you to freshen up? I'll be waiting outside."

"Thank you."

"Do you have that dress you were wearing last night? It looked fantastic on you. If you have it, I would love to see you wear it once more."

You nod in agreement. With the generosity he's showing you, it would be rude to refuse his request. The only reason you still have the dress is because there was no chance to return it in the midst of the pandemonium. Does that make me a thief?

You hear the door close as Ardyn leaves the room. A feeling of slight unease lingers over you. You're in the Chancellor's hotel room, and yet you don't know anything that's going on with your two nations. You feel like you should snoop around a little. Quietly, you open the drawers of the bedside table. Nothing but the usual Cosmogony book. He doesn't seem to have any luggage with him, no personal items. The room was virtually empty before you brought your belongings in.

Deciding it's best not to keep him, or your belly, waiting any longer, you get changed into the same silk dress you wore last night. With a quick brush-up of your makeup and a fluffing of your hair, you head out the room to meet Ardyn outside.

"My dear, you do look absolutely gorgeous," he says, taking your hand and admiring you. Either he's very good at pretending, or he really means it. You're not quite sure. Holding your hand, he leads you into the dining area.

You look around to see if anyone recognises you as the trouble-maker from before. Luckily people are more interested in their food. Nobody even bats an eyelid at the Chancellor eating in the same restaurant. While you gaze around and get comfortable, Ardyn has already made an order with the waiter.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm sure you will love this. And I take it you like wine?"

"Absolutely, everything is fine." You put on your best charm. "So, what brings you here tonight? Or is it a secret?"

"I'm waiting to meet someone here. Alas, we did not agree on a day so I was prepared to wait."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry, it's not another lady." He's teasing you. You didn't even think so far, but it does start to feel a lot like you two are on a date.

"No, I didn't mean... I mean, I didn't think that. Doesn't matter, anyway."

You make some small talk, and start to relax as your conversation progresses. A man of paradoxes, he's got a strange way of intimidating you, and making you feel at ease at the same time. He's not shy with compliments, yet it feels like he's analyzing you continually. The more you look at his face, the more you start to think he's attractive. If this was a real date, you'd be completely into it.

The waiter brings the wine, followed by the food. Only one plate.

"I already had something earlier. Please, don't mind me," he says, urging you to tuck in.

He doesn't have to ask you twice. The dish looks delicious and you can't wait to taste it. The first mouthful of fried tide grouped with the buttery balsamic sauce almost sends you to heaven. You close your eyes and let out a small sound of enjoyment. Ardyn seems pleased.

"I've been so hungry all day long. This is absolutely amazing."

"I know," he agrees, pouring you both a glass of wine. "Well, shall we?"

You toast and and have a sip. I could get used to this.

He holds his glass near his face, silently watching you for a moment. Then, keeping his intense gaze on you, he drops the bomb.

"It was very brave what you did at the party last night. Very foolish, but brave nonetheless."

The fork slips right out of your hand upon hearing those words, falling down making a loud clinking sound. With that, you earn some more gazes from the diners around you. You reach over to grab it, instantly sitting back up as you realize it has fallen between the floorboards. You face comes to rest in your palm as you place your elbow on the table.

A moment of silence that feels like eternity.

That bastard. He made you leave everything you have in his room, so he can call you out in the middle of a public place, completely helpless. I should've seen this coming.

You finally summon the courage to respond. "I'm sorry... I don't know what you me--"

"Never mind about that, dear. It's all understandable."

You look up from your palm. "Is it?"

"People do silly things when they're in dire situations." You can say that again. He plays with his wine, swirling it around in his glass. "I can forgive you. On one condition, though. I think we can help each other."

"What do you want?"

He lifts his gaze from the wine, back on you. "Information."

"But Sir, I don't..."

"Call me Ardyn."

"Ardyn... I don't have any information. About anything! I don't even know what happened back home! I'm only desperately trying to get to Altissia..." You start your defence loudly but lower your voice as you realize by this point half the restaurant is leaning in to listen.

"I am aware."

"So how can I help you?"

Ardyn calls the waiter over to bring you a new fork. You take it reluctantly, and continue eating, only because he insists.

"I am willing to overlook your little stunt," he continues, "I will let you stay in the room, and even front your ferry fee, if you like. All you have to, is do what you did so well yesterday. I need to know the whereabouts and the plans of a certain prince, and his entourage."

It all starts to make sense to you. So he's after Noctis.

"You look worried, my dear. I can assure you, no harm will come to him at this point. On the contrary, I aim to assist him."

"Doing what?"

"Getting to where his destiny is calling."

It all sounds very vague. How did I ever get here? Your whole life seems to have gone upside down in only a few days. You take the big glass of wine and finish it in one go, laughing to yourself. Since when am I chugging down glasses of expensive vintage? Come to think of it, since yesterday...

"Is that a yes, then?" He asks impatiently.

"Yes. I will do my best to help you."

"Splendid! Well, I though you would say that. Do not worry, you will receive due payment for your troubles. Only bear in mind if you try to trick me again, I will not be so understanding a second time."

"Of course not."

You look down at your half-eaten dinner, that has gone cold by now. "Do you mind if we call it a night?"

"As you wish," he agrees, getting up and taking your hand again, escorting you back to the room. Somehow it feels less like a date, and more like being held under ransom now.

He opens the room door, but you freeze on your tracks. You're afraid.

"What's the matter?" He places his palm on the small of your back and gently but firmly pushes you inside the room.

"Nothing..." you gasp as his touch sends chills up your spine. No doubt he can see the hair standing on end on your bare neck and shoulders.

This man is playing you like a fiddle, and yet, knowingly, you want to give in to it. He knows he's attractive, he knows how to deal with women. He knows what he's doing.

"No need to worry," he breathes into your neck, in a lowered voice. You summon all the strength you have left, and walk away from him, starting to dig around your bags frantically.

"I'm just very tired," you respond. "I'm heading to bed."

"Sweet dreams, then," he says, following your aimless bustling. "I've got some things I still need to take care of. I trust you'll be a good girl and go to bed."

You don't reply, only nod, with you back to him, as you find a T-shirt in your bag that you can wear for the night. You hear him leave the room, and let out a loud gasp as the door closes.

How am I supposed to sleep here?

Thoughts are crashing around your tired head, yet as soon as you climb in between the soft bedding and lay your head on the pillow, you can feel yourself starting to doze off.

In the stillness between sleep and awakeness, you can hear the waves hitting the booms under the hotel, gently swinging you into sleep.