#this is an ongoing issue for me oops

[harpsicalbiobug]

So. I'm taking a gardening cert class through an extension university. Really well written, great flow and presentation of content knowledge, concepts, as well as resources for where to read or how to find other knowledge sources. Great. Lovely.

Anyway it's supposed to run from Dec to March but I procrastinated badly and. I am doing it all in two weeks.

From an educator's perspective, the way I am completing this is Bad and Not Pedagogically Sound. I also just took the entomology quiz without reading any of the materials and got a 100% so :/

[threepandas]

Bad End: Hidden Heir

Next ->

The Duke's family had very distinct eyes. It was genetic. An aggressively dominant trait at that, though it tended to die off, after a few generations out of the family. Supposedly a "blessing of the Gods". Spring to be exact. Bounty and luck. And the family certainly WAS bountiful.

In all the best and worst ways.

Wealth, corruption, children and bastards. It was a family so aggressively ALIVE, it could only be Spring's blessing that made them so. Pouring mania and madness into their veins like sweet sunlight. Whispering glory and riches, into power addled ears. They burst with life. Even as they endlessly destroyed themselves.

They were fictional.

Fascinating set dressings, for the stage play of someone else's story. Unimportant beyond their role in world building. As the origin story and power base of a character lead.

The Story ITSELF didn't even occur here. But rather, in the capital. Where the players of significance had gathered.

And I? Oh I was some minor antagonist, so insignificant to the plot, I genuinely could not remember which of seven different women I actually WAS. It had been an ongoing series. Otome Isekai. Reverse harem.

And I was either in the ORIGINAL original novel, the isekai'd plot novel, the anime adaption, OR a horrifying fever dream. My memory was largely useless. But? I did remember the characters. The archetypes.

And the fact, that the author had clearly been going though a Yandere phase.

My region of the Reverse Harem collect-o-thon? Horrifying! Red flags everywhere! No one here should date, leave room for fantasy Jesus, have we considered the joys of being a NUN? Yes. Yes I HAVE thought about it.

I was pretty sure I'd never make it. End up dead or captured by some sort of Nun Yandere. Or God Yandere. Possibly both. Assuming the bandit yanderes don't get me first. It... it was very stressful, living here.

Luckily? I knew when I could leave.

Or so I thought.

Because my house? The Dukedom? Had the "yandere butler who is secretly an heir." Who starts out with loyal dog behavior. A little highly possesive master and servant play. Then rises to become a Duke. Presumably? That is when I die. Or am disowned.

Death is most likely. Since my role was "minor antagonist" and I was to be mean to the sweet, earnest, Harem possessing Protagonist. Don't see WHY I would. Live and let live. Good for her etc etc. But regardless? Best to avoid, just in case.

The problem? Who do you think Mr Illegitimate Heir serves before she gets here? The OTHER possible heirs? Of course not! They'd "oops! Hunting accident~☆" him in a heart beat. Father isn't stupid. And my sisters? Issues. Violent, violent, issues.

He ends up with ME.

Father, WHY.

Obviously, I ignore him. I see nothing. I hear nothing. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. Mmmmm, tea. Good book. Ignore his creepy staring. His creepy, creepy staring.

Thankfully? I never really ran out of Totally Legitimate reasons to send him away to learn or do something. Proper tea making. Door maintenance. Eastern embroidery. Something, anything, and off you go! Bye bye~☆!

Unfortunately. He got faster. Better and better at learning. Mastering skills. Coming BACK. Showing up to stand in the corner, silent and looming, like an omen of death. Those damn eyes. The fucking family eyes!

I don't have them. And NOT as, my Father would have me believe, because I "take after my Mother". But because I am not genetically related to the Duke. I have GOLD eyes. When I wear the right shade of green? I pass. So I am condemned to forever wear green. Don't even really like it much. But?

I am pretty damn sure? I was just... pretty.

A lovely, orphaned, golden eyed child that COULD pass as his. So why not? It was a whim that payed off. Unlike in the original stories, I imagine. Since I am by FAR the best behaved child in this entire house. Ha! Suck it, bio-kids, the adopted one's the favorite! Maybe should have been less lil bitchs.

....I carefully do not say.

Those are INSIDE thoughts.

Fuck. He's still LOOMING. Isn't he? Go awaaaaaay. Where is Protag-chan? Come be doe eyed and busty! Trip adorably! Go "kyaaa~" or something! I feel body heat and freeze. He's leaning over my shoulder to pick up the teapot, pour me another cup. I can FEEL the barest graze of his knuckles against my back, from where he's gripped my chair. The smell of his aftershave almost hauntingly pleasant.

Like he KNEW exactly what smells I liked most. Went out of his way to find one that best suited my preference. Coincidence. Please, PLEASE be a coincidence! I do not turn my head. Keep my eyes locked straight ahead. Barely breathing.

He steps back.

The new pot is sharp and herbal. Almost bitter. I force myself to drink. Can't see a sugar dish, and REFUSE to turn around and ask for one. Ignore. IGNORE. My pounding heart calms. My muscles slowly start to relax.

It... it IS weird, though, now that I think about it? That Protag-chan hasn't reached the Dukedom yet. She should have. God only knows I sent Creepy to the capital enough times, with enough highly specific instructions, that he should've had his meet cute's and dates by the dozen. Been half way in love. So... why...?

Huh.

Dizzy.

The taste of tea sits wrong on my tounge. I stop drinking as the world sways. Letting the cup fall from my hand. Splatter, roll, and shatter. I try desperately to stand. A gentle gloved hand catches my elbow, supporting me. I turn. Giddy eyes. Triumphant, wide, spring green eyes. Too green to be gold, too gold to be green.

An almost cruel, mocking, yet loving grin.

Another hand slides around my waist, braces me against his side. Gleeful little murmurs, too pleased to be reassuring. You. You did this! You DRUGGED ME!

I can barely move, body relaxing against my command, going limp, as he draws me close. Presses his face against the side of my head, against my temple. A deep, shuddering breathe, that he savors like wine. I try to pull free but can not. Feel his lips pull into a vicious grin against my skin. Hands begin to run in gentle, claiming, exploration.

And at last the drugs kick in... the wo..rld..

G..oes..

Dar..k........

[mintaikk]

Honestly, I don't think Blitzø's main fear about him and Stolas is him being rejected (even if that is some of it). I think it's a mixture of both being rejected but also being used by Stolas.

In Ozzie's, Ozzie tells Stolas, "You sold your life for a thrust," which is where Stolas hides his face, and Blitzø looks really hurt. It doesn't feel like an "Oh he rejected me" thing, but more of a, "Rich person got caught with something that he's not supposed to have," "He's going to leave me the first moment he gets," and " that's just proof I was a plaything to him" thing.

Oh yeah, that. Stolas calling Blitzø his, "Impish Little Plaything" in truthseekers. Probably added more confirmation of that for Blitzø.

And then in Oops, Blitzø goes on a little rant about how Stolas 'pretends' to care about him by doing all these these little things like asking about how his day was and commenting on his photos and laughing at his jokes (fr that quote got me at 'laughing at his jokes' bcuz ain't no way someone can laugh at their fake crushes jokes). Fizzarolli is all sarcastic and saying that it's proof that it's all bullshit, and Blitzø just agrees, saying that he's just a rich privileged asshole.

Honestly, it makes sense for Blitzø to feel that way. These two come from WILDLY different worlds. Like, to help understand, imagine you're just trying to survive for scraps (like everyone is in this gen), and a rich deity comes down and starts crushing on you. It'd be pretty weird to think, right? Or very hard to believe that it can be real. And we combine that with all of Blitzø's self-loathing, which makes it a whole mess of denial and all of that.

Back on track! He mentions how royal demons don't care about lower demons like them, and I think that's what shows his true feelings. Stolas is very much near the top of the hierarchy, while imps are just barely above hellhounds, who are treated as literal dogs, despite being sentient. What's stopping Stolas from being like the rest of Hell's nobility and just viewing Blitzø as an object?

(Also, while I know it's an ongoing gag that the Goetia's imp servant gets bullied by Stella and Stolas, and even though Stella literally threw him across the room, Stolas is no saint either. Remember when he was squeezing the poor thing while screaming at Stella? Yeah, that was an issue.

[jane-john-doe-tournament]

John Doe (Malevolent) Propaganda:

Spooky gay eldritch disaster (am I doing this right?)

Could have chosen any name for himself and picked John because a kind person called him that :)

fractured piece of an eldritch god that shares a body with a private eye after being fractured. chooses the name John Doe after said private eye goes into a coma

Because he's an eldritch god who wants to feel human and who overcame a lot of obstacles and dangers!!! He sincerely cares about the main character!!! And he chose a name himself! Isn't he cute??? He lost his body, he almost lost his memory, he fought for his right to exist, he loves animals, he loves his friend Arthur and I love him!

Being an ass, friendship, spooky supernatural stuff, he’s got it all

My man heard the name John Doe, realized he didn’t actually have a name, and just. Took it for himself.

I LOVE HIM. MY SON. HE'S TRYING TO CHANGE AND BE BETTER AND :(((( He's a fragment of the soul of the King in Yellow (god of trickery and suffering iirc??) that gets trapped in a book in our realm while the rest of the King stayed in his own separate realm. When a human named Arthur Lester opens the book they get linked and John gains control of Arthur's eyes & kills his partner (oops!). They proceed to go on a quest to find a way of separating them because neither likes the situation, and at first John (or The Entity, which is what he's called at first) just wants to trick and use Arthur, and control his entire body (through the first season he also gets a hand & a foot) even though he doesn't remember being The King In Yellow at the time, but Arthur makes him change and become more human. His turning point is when Arthur is shot and falls into a coma for a month. They get treated at a hospital and while John waits for Arthur to wake up so they can carry on, the body itself still gets taken care of. The time John spends alone, contemplating on humanity & everything he's seeing and learning from Arthur, as well as the way a certain nurse speaks to him every day (specifically, she greets him good morning and good night, despite the body being unresponsive, John still hears because he is an entity linked to the body) and calls him John (they didn't have ID on when they were found so they were classified as John Doe), changes his outlook and plans for good, and he asks Arthur to call him John; from this point on he admits he cares for Arthur, looks for his wellbeing too, and in general attempts to be a better person and to live for himself. The rest of the podcast (ongoing!!) explores Arthur & John's relationship, struggle to survive, adventures in the eldritch… All while tackling each of their issues with themselves and each other and watching them both grow. John in specific learns to be the person he wants to be, how sometimes you'll take a step forward and two backwards; he can be cruel and manipulative sometimes but he still tries. Personally I love his journey, it's very realistic and you can see he is trying his best, and how he wants to be better than he was as the King In Yellow, and how much Arthur has changed him and how much he cares about him because of that; and how he's slowly growing into being his own person :) if it ends badly ill cry so hard but!!! he's John Doe because that's the name he was being addressed as, and he's made it his, and being John means he's no longer the King and that he wants to be different, and John can fail or make mistakes but it's part of who he is now, and that's what matters. I am So Normal About Him

John Doe (Sims 3 - Midnight Hollow) Propaganda

he is unhinged /pos, household description saying hey didn't their house used to have a basement, all the sims almost having placeholder names. their interview is so weird but funny to me (https://simscommunity.info/2013/09/23/the-sims-3-midnight-hollow-the-doe-family/)

[afreakingdork]

Oops, the qpr ask here. Clarifications at the ready.

Outside perspective, seeing it through the lens of the person that can feel romantic feeling. And getting to see how they work around it.

I've never considered half the things that reader has because I've never had to worry about it. However it does make me realize I might wanna talk to my partner about somethings to make sure they are also still ok with everything.

Nothing bad there, just an interesting perspective I haven't considered much.

Now for how it flew over Mikey's head.

When I did my research on asexual and aromantic when I found out about them, queer platonic relationships kinda popped up too. And I immediately tried to read everything I could about them.

Because I knew I had something with my best friend but we both agreed dating wasn't it. Sure, we have great chemistry. However, when we did try dating it felt wrong. So finding a label and what worked for us was really nice.

But I also made sure to take the time to do everything I could do we had boundaries even if we were exploring. Like with the; they can date anyone they want to. Or the; what are we comfortable with doing, what are we comfortable not doing. I made like an entire list and we had the conversation.

Mikey on the other hand did do his research, and asked if reader was ok with trying to explore. But he completely forgot to have a boundaries conversation. Or at least to completely consider this agreement from the other perspective.

Again, he did confirm many times that they would be ok with the arrangement. However that doesn't mean he thought through it all. He was just really excited, and valid. I was too, I almost didn't have that conversation either.

But I'm really glad I did, because it did strengthen our bond and help stabilize whatever the fuck we actually have. So, excited for Mikey to have that talk!

Hey! Thank you so much for coming back to explain!

The other perspective bit makes so much sense! Ugh, this is what I LOVE about writing. A simple assembly of words can be taken so many ways you can't even imagine. The product becomes skewed with each hand it enters and that is the essence of art! I'm truly moved hearing your perspective and I hope your talk with your partner goes well!

As for over Mikey's head, you couldn't be more right. The boundaries issue is something ongoing with Mikey even outside the bounds of their current arrangement. It's something I see occur in canon and illustrates just how stubborn Mikey can be since he often pursues things with single minded goals and doesn't care for input from others no mater how valid. Even if it's not malicious, a small misstep can lead to larger issue! Great job avoiding that pitfall! It sounds like you've got something real healthy on your hands; you cherish that, anon! You deserve it!

As for Mikey and reader talking... Your excitement won't have to wait long at all 👀

Thank you again!

[da-rulah]

ao3 wrapped: 6, 15, 17, 19, 27, and 28

Thank you so much for all the q's! 🥹🖤

6: Favourite title you used?

Hmm... I think my favourite is a WIP title 🤭 I've got one coming that's called 'Folié a Deux', but of the one's I've written this year, I think my favourite title is 'Rituale Septem'.

15: What WIPs are you taking into next year with you?

Defiitely the aforementioned 'Folié a Deux', but also... 'The Mayor's Daughter' is going to end up being an ongoing series for my darling Mary Goore. Part 2 is well underway already, and I have a third and fourth part planned. Oops.

17: Your favourite character to write this year?

Definitely has to be Terzo in 'Rituale Septem'. I got to really play around with his characterisation and delve into a much deeper level of Terzo that I hold really dear to my heart. I adore his damaged side, his vulnerability and his usual flirty and cheeky side. I look forward to doing this again with the other Papas. I managed a hint of it in Secondo's fic 'Come Home to Me', but I'll explore them more next year for sure.

19: What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

I have an OC character I'll be exploring with Copia in a fic that is yet to be named, but the ideas I have for it are so ingrained in my brain I can't wait to get around to it! But I can't wait to explore the OC x Cardinal Copia pairing in 'Folié a Deux' too.

27: What do you listen to while writing?

Usually a few different things, depending on how badly I need help to focus. Either... The ending of Helvetesfonster on repeat for an hour (it's on YouTube, it's so relaxing!), Studio Ghibli soundtracks, or Lo-Fi if I really need to focus.

If I need a bit of help but not too much, Sleep TOken, because I don't know their songs too well, and I don't end up singing along yet. It's really good atmospheric music.

Or, if focus isn't an issue, Ghost's entire discography... but I'll likely be easily distracted hahaha

28: Favourite work you wrote this year?

Without a doubt, Rituale Septem'. I managed a 74k word fic in just over a week and I loved every single second of writing it. Still, I'm so proud of the idea, the plot, the characters and the ending.

List of asks for ao3 wrapped [writers edition] here Ask me things here

[theheroheart]

Finally saw Chess in Oslo.

Here are lots of observations, mostly on staging/acting and things you don't get from the cast recording. Somewhat in chronological order, except for overarching stuff. (Some observations dip into deeper analysis, oops.) Some things you might know if you've seen Svenska Chess.

CAST:

First of all I got alternate (Sanne Kvitnes) and Arbiter (Cornelia Børnick). Florence was absolutely fantastic, she killed it. Easily could've been main cast. Arbiter was absolutely solid, but she didn't blow me away - but then it's kind of hard to do that as the Arbiter. Think I like both of them better than main cast, but it's hard to judge fairly without having seen them.

Rest was as expected. Adored Freddie, but I already did. Anatoly is fantastic. Svetlana surprised and impressed me, her acting improved my opinion of her. Molokov's great, but less notable. Ensemble was solid, there's a few notable ones that delighted me.

TRANSLATIONS:

Since I'm one of the only really avid Chess fans who's also Norwegian, I feel like I should comment on this.

I think the translation is fantastic. It flows well, it's overally very intelligible, it's emotive, it uses some fucking fancy words like "polemic", it's the right level of cheesy...

Adaptation-wise they also did a lot to make the story as clear as possible, adding context when necessary. Without delving too deep in the broader political context, which they don't lean as heavy on.

There's bits I would change, but overall it's really solid.

OBSERVATIONS:

ACT ONE WOO

They did such a good job establishing the shitty homelife of the Sergievskies - not in the relationship way, but that they live in a tiny apartment, and Anatoly does so much for Russia that he never gets to see his family. They even list things: tournaments, performances, greeting and handshaking workers and students, political functions... It illustrates his struggle much way than just making vague statements.

Properly showing Anatoly's homelife at the beginning is also such an improvement to just off-hand mentioning it in a way you don't really feel it.

Related: it's really obvious how much Anatoly is controlled. They make unspoken points of the passports several times. And Molokov always keeping a watchful eye. KGB guards everywhere, and blocking reporters from approaching him.

The 80s costuming is a delight. The wigs and mustaches are wild. I need to draw Freddie's sparkly party shirt cause it was insane.

I knew Freddie spilled wine all over Anatoly, but I did NOT know that that he grabs a (male) reporter's face with both hands and plants a big kiss on his lips. Barely a minute after he comes onstage.

The Hungarian revolution flashback is heartbreaking. The ballet is lovely and sad, but what's notable is that while it's happening, Florence is sitting on the stairs and crying her eyes out. Like she's having a PTSD flashback.

What's interesting is that this Freddie's rudeness feels less spiteful/defensive, and more... like a controlled performance? He's very intentionally disrespecting them. This Freddie doesn't lose his temper.

Of course, then they go to the opening party, and Freddie very clearly flirts with (or lets himself be flirted with) two ladies. (Listen, the man desperately craves approval and attention from women. Mommy issues.)

Florence goes outside to get away from the party, and to have a smoke. That's when she sings Nobody's Side. Can't remember for sure, but I think this scene has lots of focus on hotel staff in the background.

Notably there's two hotel staff that have an ongoing background romance most of the show??? They slow-dance while tidying a hotel room. They smooch every now and then. And then much later on, when Florence shows her heartbreak at the waitress, the waitress gets notable stage attention in also reacting to the heartache? (Then when Anatoly shows up, said waitress immediately steals Florence's coffee and gives them both wine, which was absolutely hilarious.)

One detail I REALLY enjoyed about the actual chess match, is that they both note down the moves in their notepads after each move. This is a big chess thing I can't remember ever having seen in a production.

And then Freddie leaves the match. Which he does by.... very calmly standing up, picking up the tiny Russian flag, then gently placing it in the middle of the board. Then he slowly walks away from the table. Takes his jacket. Calmly walks away. It's the least dramatic walk-off I've ever seen, and it was kind of a delight. And goes back to what I said about Freddie's carefully controlled performance.

Quartet is still a great song but man I remember nothing about the staging because it was very unremarkable. Florence is fucking pissed at Molokov though, and it DOES really show off what Freddie says about Florence hating Russians.

Also the Arbiter is such a bitch and I love her.

And then in the hotel bar again, Anatoly approaching Florence and she's so uninterested. And then he starts weirdly quoting Dostoevsky, and she has the biggest WTF face, and it's hilarious.

They did do a good job of showing Anatoly actually proving to Florence he's not awful, by him talking about how he heard about the Hungarian revolution, and implying some unkind things about the Russian government. And then he asks about Freddie and she's like "None of your fucking business" and he apologies and leaves, but then she's like "ACTUALLY I'M LEAVING HIM."

And then she sings "Not Me" (rewritten Someone Else's Story), explaining her frustration with her relationship with Freddie, directly to Anatoly, which I also did not expect. (This will happen multiple times in this show!)

And then ofc when Anatoly flees with Florence to defect, we get back to more proof of Svetlana's sucky life. We see her visiting a church with Micha, and being escorted out of there by armed guards. Who pack her suitcase for her. And then when she sings Where I Want To Be Reprise, she crumples and cries over her suitcase, and it's so heartbreaking.

And then we get to the fancy party, and apparently Freddie is from Pennsylvania? Lol ok. And Arbiter is partying with the head of the police.

There we this one reporter I absolutely adored. Comedically hilarious, and the 80est 80s. Real impressive mullet.

And then Florence and Anatoly invidually dealing with the press on each side of a room, singing Mountain Duet in a very different context that I'm used to. Also enjoyed how every time each one sang, their respective journalists would freeze-frame to show it's internal monologue only.

And then there's the headline of "Anatoly's defecting, and he's in love again", and THEN YOU SEE FREDDIE WALKING THE STREETS, HOLDING THAT NEWSPAPER.

And then he sings the Pity The Child prequel, and fucking breaks my heart. He's bitterly critizes them, but then also says "Is this true? Did I deserve this? Truth is, she was my only friend... Now I'm left lonely on my own again." WHY IS THIS NOT ON THE CAST ALBUM.

Fuck tho, but I love a sympathetic Freddie.

You get more Florence backstory - she fled to the US, but her mother and brother (uncle?? just guessing based on actors) got caught when they tried to flee.

During Anthem, the backdrop has mountains and sky -- which slowly turn to red during the course of the song. Which is GREAT when later on, Svetlana sings her "Who Am I" song and says "He paints Russia's sky red."

ACT 2 LET'S GO

Opening on Argument is such a choice? So wildly different from ONiBangkok. The vibe is extremely different and intense.

Freddie's in the hotel room with the newspaper when she comes back. Also he drinks whiskey. I love this song though, Freddie is SO spiteful - something he didn't really get until Florence appears to be leaving him. Honestly, this Freddie really isn't that much of an asshole TO FLORENCE. Until she hurts him first.

But what really hurts is that when the argument ends, he just sits down on the bed while she packs her suitcase...

And he sings Pity The Child to her. This makes me absolutely feral, let me tell you. The way he turns to look at her when he sings "Just in case they said no". The way she gradually becomes sympathetic while he opens up, about how his parents abused him. (They are explicitly abusive and violent, not just neglectful.)

And then when he gets to "I was only her son", he breaks down and cries, and Florence walks over and sits down next to him, and he cries into her lap, desperately clinging to her. And then as she comforts him, he tries to kiss her - and she pulls away. And gets up, grabs her suitcase, and leaves.

And then he continues the song, sitting there alone. FUCK ME UP, CHESS.

And then Svetlana appears, still closely controlled. Micha is taken to a different room and there's nothing she can do about it.

And then you get Endgame prequel! Anatoly's "you all think you see a man", they just like, put here. And you know what, it works great? Because it's when he's been dragged back by the KGB, and he's calling out their opinion to them.

And then he walks into the hotel room and Svetlana goes to embrace him and he PUSHES HER ASIDE, and starts ripping into her about how she's "letting herself be used as a tool". She is VERY JUSTIFIED in calling him out, because yeah, they've made it really obvious she's been forced to come here. And somehow HE'S complaining? I love her calling him out here.

And Micha comes in and hugs Anatoly - and Svetlana goes to hug Micha as well, but Anatoly turns, pulling Micha away from her. Ugh.

And then Svetlana leaves and sings her heartbreaking song about how she's a powerful woman who's been loyally waiting, and for what? She's on a bench, and she collapses on the ground crying. And Florence walks by (not knowing who Svetlana is), and gives Svetlana her handkerchief for her tears. CHEKOV'S HANDKERCHIEF, this will come back later on.

And then Florence alone in the cafe, breaking my heart with Heaven Help My Heart. (Also the waitress's heart, as previously mentioned.)

And then Anatoly shows up and we get Merano reprise (yeah that's a thing now). And then Freddie shows up, VERY DRUNK, and we get Totally-Not-The-Deal. Which is just Freddie calling Florence out, pubically saying awful things about her. Freddie's lowest point, right here.

Freddie throws like, peanuts at Florence or something by the way. It's funny as fuck. He grabs a reporter's camera. AND HE SHOVES THE LOVELY WAITRESS SO SHE FALLS OVER, which, Freddie, please. He's actually kind of grabbing Florence at this point.

And then when Anatoly and Florence both call him out on his shittiness, after the song Florence just stares Freddie down, until he dejectedly walks away.

(WHY IS THE DEAL NOT ON THE CAST ALBUM???)

And then we get everyone panicking about Micha being missing. Except for Molokv, who has taken Micha out and has given him a yoyo and a glass coke bottle. Amazing. (He also leaves an envelope inside a newspaper on the bench. The Arbiter's lesbian lover assistant will pick this up.)

And then you get Florence and Anatoly undressed in the hotel room, and EXCUSE ME, WHY IS YOU AND I NOT ON THE CAST ALBUM? I mean it's a short version, less than 2 minutes, but I love a completionist cast album.

Lyric appreciation: "You and I, shaking like leaves. Whirling along the path of hope. Standing in the middle of the storm. We're woven together, now and forever." That's some evocative, descriptive language, right there.

Arbiter reprise: The reunion of the chess players. FREDDIE IS SO POLITE, smiling, offering his hand to Anatoly, taking pictures with him. Honestly, Freddie's ability to keep it together in these situations makes it SO MUCH MORE INTENSE when he does fall apart.

And then Florence and Svetlana get to meet, and guess what, THEY SING "I KNOW HIM SO WELL" TO EACH OTHER, I told you this would happen a lot. And it's fantastic, instead of two isolated viewpoints, Svetlana's first opening up to Florence, then it's them having a disagreement. It changes some lines, when Svetlana says "he'll choose his own way and leave you", she's saying it to Florence, not to herself. And Florence says, this is what she wanted to avoid.

Anatoly tracks down Molokov, demanding to see Micha. And then calling Molokov out hard, saying they've known each other 15 years, and listing examples of his loyal service that are despite the fact he still lives in a tiny apartment and can barely support his family.

And then Anatoly calls Molokov a bachelor and says he's not allowed to criticize his family. AND THEN of course we get Molokov's backstory song.

Which I'll admit I always feel weird about, but it was way better in context. Molokov using it to give Anatoly insight into what he's sacrificed. (And the lovely ballet dancers acting out the failed relationship helped.)

And then when he's calmed Anatoly down, of course he GOES STRAIGHT INTO THREATENING HIM. Saying he's going to play his last chess match ever, and lose. And then he'll be admitted to the hospital in Moscow. And then he'll release a statement saying his attempted defection was done after taking large amounts of pills and alcohol. And that he regrets the problems he's caused his family and country, and recinds the defection. And Florence will be kept under close watch, but that's it.

"What will happen to your family if you choose to stay in the west, I don't want to get into right now."

And as Molokov is saying this speech to Anatoly, there's this quiet ominous background hum that just gets louder and louder and more intimidating, and it was actually really effective and REALLY making you see the threat and the control.

And then you get a very cool scene as Endgame starts. Anatoly standing there in a spotlight, back against the audience. In the distance, the choice is lit in evil red. As they start listing grandmasters at him. You see him crumpling under the pressure - at "Capablanca", he falls to his knees.

I thought this would be GREAT if Anatoly chose to win. You don't have Talking Chess, but you have these grandmasters calling to him, like the true "win for chess" moral. But if he loses, are they judging him? Saying he's failed?

Endgame staging is actually real simple, everyone lined up. Awesomely backlit choir in the far back. Then the board is taken out, and the last match begins, and it's very intense. Freddie looks focused - not as laid-back as earlier. Anatoly looks harrowed.

I especially loved when Freddie and Molokov share the line "The clock is ticking down the minute - the circle is complete". And everyone is singing - this final move, will he resign?

And nearing the end of Endgame, Anatoly is describing the different pieces desperate attempts ("The pawn wants to be sacrificed, rook at the end of the line, a weaked knight galloping towards the king's court"), and as he does, Florence/Svetlana/Molokov all shouting at him, and he holds up his hands against each one when they yell, like he's trying to shut them out.

And then.... he picks up his king, and he lays it down. Resigning. How do they make a chess match feel this dramatic?? It's really good.

And then You And I Reprise. And during one moment, you can see Freddie in the back (back to the audience), surrounded by people, wearing a giant wreath and holding a trophy proudly.

As Florence and Anatoly draw closer, they ALMOST kiss, it looks like they'll be together - but Micha runs in and hugs his dad. And oof, man. He asks Florence to forgive him and that he loves her - IN FRONT OF SVETLANA AND MICHA BTW, who start walking away when they hear this.

And then as they part ("You and I, shaking like leaves. Whirling along hope's path. We stand in the ruins. We're woven together -- parted forever.") Anatoly goes back to his family. And get this, Svetlana walks across the stage and HANDS FLORENCE BACK HER HANDKERCHIEF. Absolutely ruthless. I adore it.

The next part is all Story Of Chess reprise. Freddie gives Florence her suitcase, and tries to get her to leave with him. She refuses and pointedly walks the other direction.

The Arbiter's lesbian lover assistant gives her the envelope full of cash, but Arbiter lets her keep it I guess. But then Molokov shows up and gives Arbiter a briefcase? The fuck does this even mean, I don't know.

Final 'You And I' now. Florence: "Is my fate controlled by someone other than me?" Anatoly: "Do we have free will? My answer's clearly no."

And you see Anatoly in his depressing Moscow apartment. And Florence in her own apartment, and oh yeah SHE'S PREGNANT. In case you hadn't heard about that little tidbit.

CONCLUSION:

This is the most downer Chess. What's even the moral? Shit sucks? Don't count on love, you'll only be hurt? It's awful.

HERE'S THE THING: STILL FUCKING LOVE IT THOUGH. It was a fantastic ride. I enjoyed the downer ending. Even if I can't possibly argue for why it should be that way.

I feel like it does "show, don't tell" better than a lot of Chess versions. It doesn't just state things, it shows you why/how. It made me feel for Svetlana in a way I haven't been able to before.

It provided that fantastic fresh intepretations/stagings of songs I've never seen before.

And it showed a version of Freddie I almost never see - way less chaotic and volatile than I'm used to.

It's interestingly very light on literally anything American. Anatoly's defection never really happens, Walter doesn't exist, there's no politicians or delegates... The only American seems to be Freddie. If anything, it's more against Hungary vs USSR. It feels decidedly Eurocentric, which I guess makes sense given it's Norwegian and based on the Swedish adaptation.

Anyway I adored it. Probably new favourite version???

Glad I've already got tickets for 3 more performances before it closes. Trying to resist getting ticket for yet another one. But I might give in if I get on at a great seat.................

ANYWAY BYE, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS RAMBLY MESS.

EDIT: Forgot to mention Florence's full name is Florence Csilla Vaszi. Which is pretty awesome.

Anatoly (spelled Anatolij in this) and Molokov call each other Tolya and Sascha, which also shows how long they've known each other.

[theoriginalladya]

Busy July

The other day, I realized that the Tour de France starts this weekend. (I usually don't see anything about it until it's underway, so I figure this is a bonus! lol)

Why is this important? It means it's time for Tour de Fleece again. Unfortunately this year, I won't be able to use my standard spinning wheel (that I've finally figured out) because of an ongoing hip issue (which, hopefully, will start getting resolved later this summer. Dr. Appointment in three weeks!) So this year, I'll be relying on the e-spinner to get the job done.

(the lighting in my office is yellow-ish, but trust me when I say the blue is a very deep ("Starfire Skies"), vibrant one and the orange is like creamsicles ("Pumpkin Spice Latte"!)

This is the fleece I'll be spinning. Somehow, last time I ordered some, I doubled up on what I already had. oops. Well, that means that I should have enough yarn in the end to make some substantial projects!

Now, all that said, last night I was reminded that Camp Nano starts this weekend too, and I was hoping to stir up the writing muses that have been pretty dormant. We'll see how that goes - going to keep my goal low so I don't get frustrated along the way - but here's hoping!

Also, my last writing project will finally post on July 4th. Maybe that will help the muses too.

And all of this is on top of the new insanity that constitutes my job the first week of the month and kiddo's birthday. Gonna be a busy July!

[dynamos-games]

it's getting hard to say anything good about Overwatch 2 at this point.

it's been MONTHS and I STILL can't add any friends on Overwatch. anytime I try in-game, I get the same message "The invite could not be sent due to an internal problem (5001)". which wasn't really an issue before, because I could just do it from the Battle.Net app. but now I can't even do that, because when I try it says "Oops! Something went wrong." this has been an ongoing issue since the start of summer (so around June or so), and I can't find anything on how to fix it. I always think maybe it'll be fixed with the next update but no, I still can't add any new friends unless they add me first.

[incarnateirony]

Huh. Various realizations following up my prior post with the come to jesus brush with momentary paralysis.

A few days ago a wise reader messaged me and proposed that my fainting could be vasovagal, which is the neck nerve cluster going bonkers bananas.

And I went, i mean yeah, my back IS pretty tense, but in that passive way you're used to.

Then everything just did that snap realign and I realized my neck almost feels TOO loose. Like I'm so used to tension I feel floppy. Whatever snapped was like the tension rod that was holding my spine together.

The ongoing relief past that is tangible, to the point parts are now starting to experience Good Ache. Healing Ache, rather than Aggravated Ache rubbing on things it shouldn't be. Foot briefly went through a tingle stage long after the fact but I'm used to Sciatica. But we are definitely approaching maximum capacity to stay vertical.

It was like five years ago a doctor imaged my spine and was like HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING and I was like, idk, stubbornness. And I guess that's reached its limits KJSDFSJKDFskdjfsd

like oh, no, they weren't talking about my jiggly hip or that old subluxed vertebrae issue. IIIIIII get it IIIIIIIII feel what they were talking about now, and i oop

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Someone gift me baby karasu with a bow that’s the only thing I’ll ever reply with when people ask me what I want LMAOO

I def wanna see them pro but something about seeing the pro would also feel bittersweet to me somehow?? Idk like now that they’re pro we KNOW it’s over but errrr idk I don’t have a better solution HAHA im ngl I was into kuroko no basket for awhile but it was way after it ended and I almost died with how the fandom was kinda inactive and lack of content im just glad that since BLLK is ongoing now it won’t be as barren lolol

I would tell you to search it up but you’re gonna wanna burn your eyes after…I only heard of it via booktok (Idek how I landed there because I don’t rlly read that much now either nor do I interact or follow any book accs? Thank god I’m out now I wonder if maybe some ppl just went viral) but oh my god why would you think of writing such a thing??? I honestly don’t have an issue with dark content either since I think it allows more exploration of deeper topics sometimes but idek the door and pillow thing wasn’t even dark topic it’s just..??? ???????? ????? I don’t know what to say but you’re on the dot with weird smut

Im hopeful that s2 will def get things going again!!! Like pls fill up Ao3 too like why’s there nothing there.

You’re so right….a very good choice on your end LMAO he def doesn’t fit the arranged marriage trope as well and his canon ninja background was the perfect set up for this!!!

OOOO IM EXCITED LMAOAOA can’t wait to see tabieitaken hollyhock au style…

OOOOOO WAIT THATS SO COOL?!?! On my toes waiting for the next installment o7 (also for whatever reason I think it’s so funny when people go [redacted] I laughed so hard maybe my humors broken)

Oops I meant the cursed child trope in the sense that everyone (or those around them) believe in it LMAOAO I think it’s more interesting when people around them buy into that myth and make their life hard as opposed to just flat out actual misfortune whoopsie

KARASU APPEARANCE no because I was thinking too like…is Mira gonna add Karasu…or are we omitting for the sake of keeping karasu a main lead type of thing…LMAO can’t wait though!!!

-Karasu anon

BABY KARASU W A BOW all i want for christmas is HIM!! he’s just a princess fr i love him sm

watching a fandom slowly die after the source material ends is the WORST at least the anime/epinagi are much further behind from the main manga so it’ll be a while before it’s over!! some series do stay generally popular even afterwards so hopefully bllk is one of those 👆🏻

HELP I JUST LOOKED UP THE PILLOW ONE WTF 😭 that’s not even dark that’s just bizarre…where are these people getting their ideas from 😔

i feel like jjk also blew up heavily with season 2 coming out (although tbf it was already hugely popular) so i think (hope) bllk will be the same!! obv not to the same extent as jjk because whatever is going on there is like unprecedented levels of popularity but for sure i do think more people will get into it now that more characters will be there and there’ll be more content

YES like otoya being a lord or highborn just doesn’t have the right ring to it!! he’s too unserious i could not see him being dignified or dutiful esp not in an arranged marriage scenario where he doesn’t even care abt his wife that much. karasu or yukimiya 100% (more so yuki but karasu could make it work i think). ninjas tended to be lowborn/peasants too so it’ll be interesting to juxtapose him and y/n + show him interacting with a lot of the characters who ARE more noble (y/n, yuki, etc).

TABIEITAKEN HOLLYHOCK AU MY FAVORITE MORALLY GREY ASSHOLES 💖 there is not one good person in that fic (except maybe anri) just some characters you do root for and some you don’t HAHA i’m excited for all of the reveals and character development i think it’s going to be sooo fun

YESS it’ll be clearer once i finish the story where i got my inspiration from. i love drawing from history as an inspiration!! like ofc i’m not going to go word for word but it’s nice to have something that i can reference if needed and build my own plot off of. i def think it makes hollyhock unique…like a) it’s a fic w OTOYA as the main love interest (not the usual suspects itoshi bros) and also it’s set in a relatively unusual setting + is engaging with a generally overlooked aspect of that time period. like forget being a weak lady who falls in love w her arranged marriage husband 🥱 y/n is scheming plotting killing etc etc (or at least she will be eventually). i love mcs who are just a little Not Normal and i really think this y/n is like that!! as shown when she was completely willing to sacrifice her half brother if it meant living. like yes 100% he’s an ass but also girl that’s still an entire life you do NOT gaf abt 😭 omg and otoya when he heard her say that…bro realized he had finally found someone to match his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 💖 truly the otp we all never needed

ooh yes i do think y/n is a victim of that trope while she’s staying w the hiiragis!! although as much of it is just them hating on her because they hate that she’s such an embarrassment to them…i’m excited to show how other characters (otoya and co) react to the circumstances that make the hiiragis hate her!! it’ll def be interesting (and also a lot of it is based in actual japanese mythology/tradition…despite my disclaimer i actually do enjoy researching and sprinkling in details like that!! i just had that in there in case some historian type of person came to my comments freaking out abt how something or another isn’t accurate 😭)

i feel like karasu HAS to be there HAHAHA it truly wouldn’t be otoya if his bestie isn’t present especially since yuki exists in-universe too!! he’s also going to be super important to the story but it will break my heart knowing that things w him will never be romantic 😔 though honestly “romantic” is a stretch even for y/n’s eventual relationship w eita 😰 it will be intense and passionate and pining and many other such things but unfortunately with all of the political nonsense they’re up to (unifying the warring states and whatnot) there won’t be too much time for a healthy proper relationship. long story short expect a slow burn 😈

ALSO BTW I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE INVESTED IN THE STORY writing fics for random characters is sooo hard sometimes because there’s usually not a lot of engagement/feedback 🤒 as long as i have even one reader who likes to yap w me i can usually manage it though so i am very grateful for you bae 🫶🏻 doing the otoya nation a great service

[smellslikera1n]

Hi! I found you through a quiz you made about DC characters! I am kinda new to DC in general (been reading Batgirl 2000s) but I was wondering, what do recommend to read for more modern DC comics?

hi, I really did mean to answer this earlier (oops), honestly I’m not sure what I’d recommend to a new reader but I can tell you that my favorite ongoing series is probably G Willow Wilson’s Poison Ivy, and the new Birds of Prey is pretty good too. I can’t think of anything that is both a good introduction to the universe and something I’d recommend, honestly just picking up first issues of new runs is what worked for me (technically I started with Tom Taylor’s Nightwing but I really don’t recommend that run even if the art is fantastic)

[incaseyouneedhelpremembering]

Post 2/Two

I am currently enrolled in an intro to lit class at Xavier. I think it’s one of my favorite classes that I’ve taken in my entire life. The format largely consists of us sitting with our desks in a circle and discussing. That is all. Not to say that our discussions are aimless. They are typically centered around literary works, shockingly enough, and their connection to ongoing issues society faces. One of these works was a memoir by the name of “Speak, Okinawa”. The discussion surrounding the book largely centered around the topic of what it means to be a minority and how that changes the way you navigate the world. The part that most connected with me was when Elizabeth, the author, wrote on how she would beg for blue contacts and dyed her hair blond. My experience with this type of self loathing was far more unassuming, but still worrisome. When I was young I loved to draw. I would doodle all the time. However, when I would draw, I’d almost never draw black characters. I’m black by the way. Anyway this never struck me as a problem growing up. Didn’t even cross my mind. When I was young it was simply a fact of life that white people were the main characters. Oop 200 word limit. I’ll continue this thought another time. Until then.

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #3 - Bloom Into You

Ring the bell ladies, we’ve got a GOOD SHOW!

I won’t go too deep into plot spoilers here because let me be clear: this one is worth your time (with a caveat).

Our protagonist, Yuu Koito, has just started high school but she has a dilemma. Her middle school bestie just confessed his feelings to her but she doesn’t reciprocate. Oops! Yuu has been trying to figure herself out and why she isn’t into this guy at all, and has come to the conclusion that she is asexual, and that’s why she doesn’t want to date this guy or anyone really.

Then she has a chance encounter with Touko Nanami, a member of the student council. She sees Touko flatly reject a boy because she “doesn’t want to date anyone”. They talk, but when Yuu opens up about not being interested in anyone and having seen Touko express the same sentiment, Touko reveals that she had thought she was ace, but in actual fact has discovered that she has gay feelings for Yuu. Specifically, gay feelings that are conditional and predicated on the fact that Yuu will not fall in love with her back.

First I’m going to talk criticism.

I have two major problems with this show, and at least one of those can be forgiven in my opinion.

Issue #1: high school setting

This is the forgivable of the two issues because I think this show uses the setting effectively for its narrative. The characters are experiencing relatable adolescent struggles to understand their own sexuality, which make sense in context because they’re teenagers. Not to mention, the presence of ACTUAL ADULT LESBIANS in the cast serves to contrast the stability of the adult relationship with the turbulent adolescent ones. The adult lesbians are comfortable with each other and their own sexualities and they’re shown to have a nice life together grounded in mutual acceptance, where the kids can’t seem to get a handle on things because they’re so preoccupied with their own internal drama to see the other person’s struggles as equal. So despite the setting being the most overdone, played-out thing in all of anime, I think they at least succeed in leaning on it for what context it can add to the characters’ struggles instead of it just being set dressing to sell manga to teens.

Issue #2: The (non)Ending

This anime needed a second season so badly. The series ends at right around the half way point of the manga, but the ending doesn’t carry any emotional weight because they haven’t resolved any of their ongoing plots. It is hard to recommend this series if you only intend to watch the anime because it doesn’t conclude.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I recommend this with a caveat. The caveat is you need to be ready to finish the rest of the story by reading the manga. Now the great thing about that is the show is a faithful enough adaption of the manga that you can start reading from the point the show got up to and you won’t have missed anything. I went and read the whole manga after I finished the show and I loved it. I won't speak on any of the events of the manga that aren't in the anime because this is an anime review, but I do believe it's worth picking this up if you liked the show.

Now I’m going to praise the show. Oh my god, it’s good yuri anime. And it’s got meaningful discussion of sexuality within the text! Wow! One of my favourite characters is Maki, an actual asexual character who talks to the protagonist about her ongoing relationship drama over the course of the narrative. When they share their experiences with asexuality with each other, Maki is unconvinced that Yuu is ace at all from the way he sees her yearning, which serves to highlight how the protagonist has had her view of sexuality coloured by her experiences with compulsory heterosexuality in middle school.

Did I mention the adult lesbians? I know I did but I’m coming back to it now.

Yuri manga is currently leagues ahead of anime because the stories in manga are often more diverse than high school girls love. This show offered me a tiny glimpse into what we could have, and I cherished that. Cheers to those two homos.

Overall it’s hard not to feel satisfied even though the ending to the anime wasn’t really an ending at all. And I now have some manga volumes that will be some of the most cherished in my collection. They can go right next to Chainsaw Man on the cool guy shelf.

Pros

adult gay people

sexuality as a major theme of the text

just a nice looking, well presented show

opening theme very nice to look at

Cons

the anime doesn’t end well if you aren’t going to read the manga (read the manga)

high school setting (redeemed)

not on any streaming services so I hope you like crime (I do)

And I’m giving this one a 9/10.

[arthurandhisswordbros]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Thank you so much for tagging me @burglarhobbit !!!! Ily!!!

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works in 2022

Well, I only posted like 4 works total in 2022 so I’ll rank them lol.

1. You Have To Chase It: My Merlin Twitter fic that I did for glompfest 2022. Or, Immortal!Merlin goes on Twitter to complain about his dead king. Unrelatedly, Arthur joins Twitter. This was a labor of love done in the midst of finals and I genuinely think it’s the fic im most proud of out of everything I’ve ever written. It makes me very very happy lol.

2. Chapters 7-9 of You, Servant!: okay this is kinda cheating because it’s technically still a wip, but I had a horrible period of writers block between chapter 6 and 7 and I’m just so proud of myself for getting back into it and churning out some of, imo, the best chapters of the story.

3. Questions: or my ace!Arthur and grey ace!merlin fic set around The Changeling. Listen, I am NOT a short form writer by any means. My brain doesn’t work like that usually. So, to my surprise, I was so so happy with how this one came out. It was a valentines mini exchange fic and my giftee liked it, so that also made me very happy.

4. The Little Things: I made a post earlier in the year that got a lot of traction and wrote a little drabble based on it that was sitting in my wip folder for so long and I had some future plans for it, but just couldn’t find the time to write more, so I posted it. I think it came out great and I’m still hoping to either return to it one day or hoping that maybe someone else will do something with it Lolol.

4 WIPs I’m excited to post in 2022

1. My RTGE fic that I still haven’t posted but have about 3 chapters for. It was supposed to be a simple prompt, but kinda turned into a s1 rewrite. Oops. I really really love where it’s going so far though.

2. The rest of You, Servant! This will be my first ongoing WIP that I finish and I swear I will finish it if it kills me. I’ve had the ending planned for almost two years now, it’s just about getting it written.

3. A series of snippets set in the You Have to Chase it universe. Aaaaaand a possible sequel. I have Plans hahaha.

4. Futuristic Merthur Soulmate AU: I have a vague idea of where I want this to go and a few plans for how I want to write it, but I probably won’t get to it until later in the year. It will probably be my next big project though.

3 things I’ve improved on

Ughhh i think one of the biggest issues in my writing is syntax. Sometimes the words just sound right to me but don’t sound right to anyone else. But I think I’ve gotten a lot better at being more concise and getting rid of clunky descriptions/dialogue. I also think I’ve gotten better at writing romance, which was very hard for me for a long time. I think I was just worried that anything I wrote would be too cheesy, but then I realized that romance is cheesy. That’s kind of the point. Last thing is I’ve gotten better at not using em dashes every four lines. Like I still use them a lot, but not as much.

2 resolutions

1. I want to get to a point where I don’t have to reread what I’ve written four hundred times before I settle on something I like. Just two hundred times is enough.

2. I want to be able to incorporate more motion in my dialogue scenes. I’ve always admired people who could make a scene feel grounded and alive while their characters are speaking. I want everything to move and breath and vibrate like it does in real life.

My favorite line I’ve written in 2022

“You deserve everything you want in life. But the thing is, sometimes you have to chase it. You can’t wait for it to come to you and you can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist when it doesn’t.”

Tagging: @loanmeadragon @spiritofcamelot @tolkienlockian @sauraunderscore @follow-your-fire @peaceheather @fifty-5ty and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[pagerunner-j]

My ongoing issues with this campaign:

I wish I enjoyed the overarching story, but I just...don't

I'm so sick of Matt's constantly repeated words (coloration! scattered! exterior! apparate! etc. etc. etc. etc.) that every damn episode at this point, I get somewhere between irritated and angry enough to just plain mute him, which unfortunately doesn't help with understanding the conspiracy he's determined to spin out

it's so fucking frustrating.

anyway, I've been sitting here playing mobile rhythm games, which is a good way to clear your head. It's also a good way to realize just how much more uncoordinated your left hand is than your right. At least if you're me. Oops.