#this is an honest to god legitimate ship

[coffee-n-converse]

**PJO Episode Seven Spoilers ahead!!**

I expected the moment they realized they only had three pearls to hurt. I expected the moment Percy had to leave his mom behind to hurt.

I absolutely did NOT expect to have whole ass TEARS running down my face for the entirety of that scene with Sally and Poseidon!!

And yet, the moment the rain started outside the window and you could just SEE the relief in Sally’s shoulders, the world breaking gratitude that he had heard her and he was there…. And she had that same look on her face from episode one when she’s on the balcony and feels like he’s there with her because of the rain.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think, up until that moment, they’ve occupied the same space since the day he had to leave her before Percy was born. I can’t explain it, but something about the way Sally hesitated before dropping the match in… this was a last ditch act. An act of sheer desperation. She’s been doing this alone for SO LONG and she finally broke. She finally thought “I can’t anymore” because she felt like all she was doing was hurting Percy over and over again. And she was terrified she was going to keep hurting him. And I don’t think she burnt the sundae to try to talk to the god Poseidon; I think she burnt it to feel close to the man Poseidon that she loved. She didn’t want to feel alone in that gut wrenching moment, she wanted to come as close as she could to having the man she loved holding her in his arms.

And the he SHOWS UP. My gods, the only time this woman has burnt an offering to him, and he is THERE without hesitation. He knew she was a badass and could handle the world and was doing an incredible job of raising her son, so when she burns a sundae to him he knows she’s at her breaking point and he is THERE.

But then… gah their whole conversation had me crying. Not for what they were saying (though him saying she was doing an incredible job hit me hard) but because they never once actually looked at each other. They had this whole beautiful conversation and for once Sally doesn’t feel completely alone in this (and you can see it in her shoulders and on her face) and she is so grateful to not have to do this moment alone, and he clearly still loves her and believes in her and trusts her to raise Percy right and even gives her a safe space to vent about HIS family and come to her own decision, but they never look at each other. And I cannot explain why that GUTTED me. Like I know why he didn’t look at Percy, but it gutted me that him and Sally didn’t look at each other. It worked and it was beautiful and it made me cry.

While we’re on that convo, can we just talk about how Poseidon lets Sally make the call about school or camp?? Like, he’s a literal god and technically this is his son we’re talking about, but he never once gives her his opinion on the situation. He doesn’t try to parent, doesn’t try to make the call. She literally summoned him with a match in a sundae and still he doesn’t take over and call the shots. This man has so much faith in Sally Jackson’s ability to raise Percy when he can’t be there to help at all and I just…. Aaaahhhhhh

To be honest I never super shipped Sally and Poseidon in the books. For me they were a pretty summer love story that was nice for a few months and then eh. It’s over. But this?? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want them to get back together, but their dynamic as two beings heavily invested in primarily Percy, but also each other, in this adaptation is *chef’s kiss*.

I loved this episode, but I am legitimately FERAL for this scene.

[00belle00lovely00]

Well, since poly ships are now an option, curious to see how you'd view DogDay x CatNap x CraftyCorn 🫢

(I don't personally ship those three together btw. Just curious 🧡💜🤍)

OH! OF COURSE! I've noticed as of late that this ship in particular is VERY popular.

And yes! Poly ships are very much welcome since I'm poly myself. And to be completely honest with you, the majority of the ships I mention don't specifically fall into my favourites, but boneless I still love these concepts you'll give me! Hey, even you could say it helps me improve my writing skills!

🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️

PLEASE... BY ALL MEANS.... THIS SHIP GOTTA BE CALLED FLOWER BOUQUET. IT'S LITERALLY THREE TYPES OF FLOWER SCENTS IN A SINGLE SHIP. Wait is vanilla a flower?- no?- yes?- no?- eh. Same thing

shy x extrovert x introvert

Wouldn't it be downright hilarious to picture Catnap and Dogday being Craftycorn's muses for paintings? IT'S A CUTE CONCEPT, YOU ALL KNOW IT.

Could we all just agree that she carries and costume-made diary everywhere she goes?

Both Dogday and Catnap in my head would've probably intimidated yet striked Craftycorn's interest in every way. Catnap, even though somewhat too quiet or too lazy to go on with the day, is a very calming type of person who rarely gets angry at others or anything for that matter. And as for Dogday he's legitimately a sunrise and smiles kind of active guy, which in a way Craftcorn found them both endearing. And BECAUSE of that, she would've had a crush on them both at the same time and battled with her own feelings the whole time in who she liked the most, or in some way, even hoped she didn't since her nerves would be the end of her.

Craftycorn would too take her feelings out in drawing, just like in anything for that matter, and what would be her biggest fear? Catnap and Dogday seeing the things she has drawn at the end of the sketchbook.... don't ask what it is. We all know what it is.

Their date? Literally a cosy sleepover.

Their favorite activity? STARGAZING!

Wanna know what's ironic? While Craftycorn would be all insecure and overthinking about the whole situation, Dogday and Catnap would be noticing these patterns of nervousness and literally girl failure, and start to equally agree that they find that strangely attractive. And amusing. But that's Catnap talking.

They both also think she's pretty as hell.

And yes. they talk about it all the time because ✨communication and consent is the best romantic gesture✨

Even though Craftycorn is a very shy and soft-spoken girl, she's SURPRISINGLY VERY capable of defending herself and others she really cares about. And I'm talking both verbally and physically. She'd be able to pull out a punch on whoever complains about ANYTHING related to Catnap, Dogday or even her. You go, girl!

Okay... actually, changed my mind. She would do it but feel INCREDIBLY guilty later.

They watch My Little Pony and Carebears together on a date. Change my mind.

Could you all imagine how GOOD it would smell the air of their houses was every time they hung out? Like- you're telling me the air would be jasmine scented on one corner, vanilla to the other, and then lavender in every cushion? MY GOD.

I wonder if they do PDA. Craftycorn and Catnap would be most likely to do it but very lowly (like holding hands or wrapping an arm with each other), while for Dogday he would WANT TO... buuut he doesn't want to cross boundaries. So he'd keep it to himself. And probably crying inside not to pounce on top of the two of them into a tight hug.

They love it when Catnap helps them to sleep, especially lullabies.

OH IMAGINE THIS. What if Craftycorn knew Spanish and called Catnap "Lunita" (little moon) and Dogday "solsito" (little sun). NO- IM-... IM NOT SAYING THIS BECAUSE I'M HISPANIC AND I ADORE HEADCANON CHARACTERS THAT RELATE TO MY COUNTRY- THAT IS NOT-

Okay, that or "my sunshine" and "my twilight". IT'S CUTE OKAY- I KNOW IT'S CORNY BUT WE GOTTA LOVE CORNINESS FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T SHOW IT MUCH

(for context to the next headcanons):

Catnap in my own interpretation is a selective mute. All due to the 'red smoke incident' that occurred a few nights ago. He was so terrified of how not only his lavender gas was transported into that horrendous gas that made his friends laugh ever so hysterically and dementedly, but his body acted in a way that made no sense whatsoever. His movements were strange, creepy, and terrifying. So much so that it scared Catnap beyond thought. Even though all argued that it was just a 'collective nightmare' they had due to the circumstances of the storm. It didn't change anything Catnap went through. Everything he saw...

And at the end of the day, he decided to make a silent vow. Where he wouldn't let that smoke ever come out of his mouth again, even if it cost never to open his mouth. Never to speak again.

Why all that lore dump? WELL. IMAGINE. CATNAP KNOWING ASL/SIGN LANGUAGE. IT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER.

DogDay and Craftycorn after hearing about Catnap's vow, they were EXTREMELY worried about him. On some occasions, they tried to speak some sense into him about the mere thought of never talking again, but at the end of the day, they had to respect Catnap's decision. SO IN EXCHANGE, THEY WANTED TO LEARN ASL TOO! AND IT IS SUPER CUTE AND- KAINFIYLIAHDFCHASKDCFHNAKSJDCFHALNKUH-

Craftycorn also thought of teaching Catnap how to draw, with of course Dogday coming in to learn well. Since it was an alternative and temporary idea on communication while everyone else was catching up on Bubba's lessons on ASL.

OH NO... CRAFTYCORN- I JUST REALIZED SHE DOESN'T HAVE FINGERS- SHE HAS HOOVES! THEREFORE SHE CAN'T THEORETICALLY DO ASL. OML SHE'D BE ASHAMED ASF.😭

For some reason, singing doesn't accidentally make the scents of any of the Smiling Critters out of their mouths. So whenever Catnap can, he tries to open up from his comfort zone (with the encouragement of the others) to sing them to sleep with a nice lullaby.

🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️🌙🎨🧡💜🤍☀️

I swear to god my AO3 fans are out for blood now. They probably gonna be mad asf if they find out I'm wasting so much time on this than the fanfic chapter I'm writing.

EVEN MORE NOW DUDE- THEY GONNA FIND OUT I WANNA WRITE ANOTHER FANFIC 😭

THIS IS GONNA END UP LIKE WHEN I HAD MY WATTPAD ACCOUNT... PLEASE... MERCY ON ME YALL... MERCY

[blossomingtree]

Very angry post here, but fully legitimate.

The amount of people who ship SIBLINGS is terrifying. Do you guys not realize how twisted you are? To be honest, if you were my sibling I'd be pretty scared.

Here we're mostly talking about Logan and Hero of Brightwall (thank god you're not shipping every sibling duo, but still). So we're talking about a literal grown up man and a fifteen-seventeen years old girl who happens to be his SISTER.

So aside from it being *ncestuous, think of the age gap. Guys... That is not okay, wake up. WAKE UP. I have seen some of you interpret stuff the developers never meant in the prologue. Or sentences Logan said that you fully sexualized. Again, recontextualise it in your head. This game is a game where a war happens between siblings and they're both puppets. The sentence "You've become the woman I've always wanted you to be" doesn't refer to sex, it refers to the fact that he is proud of his younger sibling for managing to do what he did not manage to.

Again, i may be speaking to walls and if so that's very worrying. It's not because they are fictional characters that it's okay. You really should get yourself checked.

[lemotmo]

I don't know if anyone has sent you anything about this so far but her ask box is a dumpster fire of desperation today. So if you've already seen it, feel free to ignore it. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy the laugh 🤣🤣

Q.. Oh my god OS and RG are sexing up in real life and have forced the show's hand. How pathetic of them. Please be embarrassed.

Q. Ryan and Oliver are boning irl. Nothing like forcing their boss to write it into the show.

Q. Let's be honest no one is surprised that they're hooking up for real. But it's super gross to force your boss to write about it. Yikes.

A. I thought it was trolling. I legitimately thought this was a deliberate troll, but I have dozens of them. Dozens of them. So this is clearly the talking point you have received from your leader. And I have no idea what you all think this rumor is doing. Because what does starting this particular kind of rumor do for your guy? Which is what all of your nonsense is about, Tommy/Lou. This rumor does nothing for him. I know it started on Twitter, because of course, but what is your goal here? For everyone keeping discourse score:

1. At first you all were saying that Oliver and Ryan aren't actually friends they just pretend to be friends because the Buddie fans annoy them so much.

2. Then you said they are friends because they're jealous of Lou and were scheming to sabotage him.

3. Then it was they are teaming up against Lou to publicly show that they hang out simply to exclude him and make fun of him.

4. Now you've landed on they must be sleeping together for real.

This is all so ridiculous it doesn't deserve any kind of deep dive answer so I'm not going to give you one. What I will say is that you all just admitted in your asks that you see the Buddie signposting. So you played yourselves there. Congratulations. The second thing is I think you believe a rumor like this might make Oliver or Ryan uncomfortable enough that they will stop the show from going forward with the storyline. That won't happen. They've admitted to reading fanfiction. This won't embarrass or bother either one of them. Lastly, whether they are sleeping together or not, and they're definitely not, it would only be one more thing they've chosen to exclude Lou from doing with them so they would still be winning. Have the day you deserve, anons.

Oh my, those asks do reek of desperation. What on Earth? 0_°

Great answer Ali. I mean, there is not a lot you can say to asks about real people. You're right. This is ridiculous discourse and doesn't deserve any kind of deep dive answer.

That being said, can I just say though that the way you ended your post slapped so hard. LOL!!!

As for my opinion on this topic? Let me be frank here, I've seen this kind of 'talk' on Twitter as well. From both BT as Buddie fandom. People speculating on people's sexualities and/or whether or not certain actors are sleeping together or not, and it just feels kinda gross to me. People do what they want to do, but I tend to stay away from this kind of talk. I haven't seen a lot of it on Tumblr so far, which feels like a win.

Buck and Eddie are fictional people living in a fictional world. Whether or not we ship them has no consequences in the real world. But Ryan and Oliver are real people, living in the real world. Rumours about the topics I just mentioned above? They can and do have consequences in the real world.

Something to think about perhaps?

Anyway, thanks Nonny for dropping this in my inbox!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[weatherman667]

Final Thoughts on RWBY - Jaune and Pyrrha

Let's be 100% honest with ourself. Pyrrha is Hermione, and Jaune is Ron Weasley.

Hermione was created to show us how magic works. Ron was created to show us how magic does not work. The same holds true with Pyrrha and Jaune. And, in the process, it turns out that Pyrrha is one of the only people in the setting that actually knows how Aura works. Most Aura users seem to learn how to turn it on. They then use it without thinking about. Ruby and Nora learn to use it to move their giant weapons, but seem completely ignorant to the fact that they can... use it to attack people without their weapons.

Yang uses it for brute strength,

Which we see no one else doing.

Now, for Jaune and Pyrrha's place in the story. A lot of people talk about who Jaune, but Jaune isn't.

Ruby isn't the protagonist. RWBY is. And because of this, JNPR is the deuteragonist. By Volume 4, JNR got bumped up to full heroes in their own right.

The Ship of Theseus, and all that.

Wait, what happened to Pyrrha? Well, she's too good. The simple fact is that if Pyrrha has been alive, she would have solved most of the problems on her own. Even the social problems, and all of the main characters love Pyrrha so much that her disapproval would probably stop most of the post-Haven bullshit. Seriously, she probably couldn't have talked Ironwood into unclenching his iron fist.

She had to die.

She had to die against an enemy the rest of the main cast could not beat.

She had to die against an enemy that cheats at the fight.

As for Jaune? Well, he's the only character the legitimately grows throughout the story. Everyone else keeps falling back into their old sins. This is because Jaune HAS to grow, because without Pyrrha, he literally would not have survived the landing into the Emerald Forest.

He's also the only person in the entire story that is actually trying to stop all of the idiotic bullshit that CRWBY was intent to force upon them. Ladybug terrorists, Yang mewling at the absence of her abusive girlfriend, Atlas literally falling to the ground.

Hell, his absence was so impactful that Ruby and Weiss had nervous breakdowns.

Let's be honest, though, seeing the Rusted Knight was almost as impactful as seeing adult Enzo Matrix. The Paper Pleasers were also delightful. Weiss finally pulled the stick out of her ass, and found herself strangely happy about it. And then what happened? Ruby unloads on Jaune.

Oh, dear God, I made the mistake of skimming through Vol 9 to see if Ruby learns to eschew her protagonist-centred morality. Instead, Ruby learned the important lesson that she's perfect the way she is, and the right path for the future is the path of selfishness.

And the black-washed Alice in Wonderland robbed us of a future Alice Huntress. She could fight with a flamingo croquet mallet/grenade launcher! Nora would love that!

Moving on. Jaune's place in RWBY is not being good enough. And that's what fans want to see. It's easy to save the world if you have showy teleportation powers, and can do a pirouette with a sniper rifle/scythe as you behead Grimm, but having fear you have to overcome, prudence to stop you from entering fights you cannot overcome, and to have to learn how Aura works, rather than just having it work for you, adds conflict. It keeps the story interesting. It keeps you invested.

There's the reason why the man who named The Hero's Journey later called i the Monomyth, because pretty much every culture on Holy Terra has a similar story.

But, luckily for us, CRWBY kept forgetting he existed, so he was allowed to actually develop properly as a character.

An for Pyrrha? She's literally and figuratively an angel. She's literally and figuratively too good for this world.

And I love how Ruby acts like she was betrayed by Atlas, when she literally joined a terrorist group to stop Atlas from rebuilding important infrastructure.

[dollypopup]

unpopular polin opinions (again)

-Colin honest to God didn't do anything even REMOTELY as bad as this fandom insists he did? framing him as the big bad in a friends to lovers story is deeply unsatisfying and pits him and Pen against each other when the whole POINT is that they're a team.

-Polin is meant to be ride or die. it's meant to be people who see one another for who they are beyond the front. it is NOT meant to be two people who hold grudges against one another with a scorecard of who hurt the other more huffing about how the other is frustrating. their whole dynamic is 'i like you' 'i like you, too'

-BOTH OF THEM have hurt the other without apology. NEITHER of them are actually in love with the other (yet). Both of them are closed off and secretive and neither of them should actually have to beg and cry and scream for forgiveness. they're supposed to be friends

-jealous Colin as we're pushing for it is a shit tier trope. Colin swooping in w/ feelings for Pen only after other people have expressed interest in her would always make her wonder if he wanted her for her or if he wanted her because someone else did first and that's not the dynamic at all. Colin falls for her organically, albeit slowly. He falls for her when she opens up, when she shows him who she is, and only after he shows her that he's a safe place to do so. Likewise, SHE falls for HIM for real when she sees who HE is, too. When she sees that he's imperfect and that his charming artifice is a mask he wears. They're both scared that who they truly are on the inside is unlovable or unworthy of serious consideration, and when they crack open and the other sees, they fall for who they actually are. It's a love made stronger because it's born out of trust and understanding, not out of an ultimatum of 'I could lose her!'

-Penelope ghosting Colin with no explanation after S2 would be her being a really bad friend and deeply hurtful

-Penelope would hate being the unofficial diamond everyone is seemingly rooting for and it makes 0 sense for her to suddenly have a bunch of suitors. it's just lazy storytelling.

-most of the Polin dynamics this fandom has actively rooted for in S3 is just Kanthony or Saphne 2.0. That's very much NOT the point of Polin's romance. and I do not understand why people want the exact same season playing out the THIRD TIME IN A ROW

-Pen's actual character would despise how some of y'all write about Colin. like. . .she's supposed to love him? he's supposed to love her? If someone called him an idiot or undeserving or uninteresting or that he should beg and grovel she would fight

-Polin's characterizations as individual characters as well as a couple have been so completely twisted and deformed in this fandom for the sake of drama and painfully cishet toxic tropes that it makes me legitimately sad. Polin is a great ship. So much of it is beautiful and healing. Two people who care for one another deeply, if with a good deal of confusion, discovering who they are individually and then realizing they're happiest with each other is lovely. Colin being an atypical male love interest in the sense that his primary draw is kindness and compassion and primary struggles being lost and jealous of his LI for her success is INTERESTING. There are a million and one brooding rakes out there breaking hearts and beating their chests howling 'she's mine!' in the middle of a room full of other men gawking. Ship Pen with one of them if you want that dynamic, but that's not Colin and I don't WANT it to be Colin. Colin is great without that

-Penelope is not an innocent lil bab who did everything she did out of good intentions. she is more complex and relatable as someone who fucks up. It is COMPELLING that she did deeply hurtful things not out of saintly altruism but out of jealousy or scorn or desperation mixed with a genuine desire to do well by those she cares for. It is a better story to acknowledge she isn't even remotely perfect and that in wanting to help, she just tangled things up even worse than before. Penelope has plenty of faults alongside her goodness: she's closed off, distrusting, traumatized, jealous. All whilst being funny, sharp, cunning, loving. She wants to be loved and to love those around her and doesn't know how. She hurts the people she cares about and she hurts herself in the process. THAT'S REAL. The idea that Penelope is a perfect bab who should be fawned over and all her ills can be excused away is flat and infantalizing. I understand: there have been a lot of criticisms of Penelope from people who genuinely dislike her character. But the pendulum has swung to the other side to the point where people who DO like her and DO ship Polin point out unsavory parts of her character, it's met with the same rabid defense as if we were haters. Guess what? I like Penelope MORE because she's made those fuck ups. I like discussing how she's hurt others because who of us haven't? Penelope is overlooked and unpopular and awkward and unsure and I LIKE HER FOR IT. I'm exhausted of the glittering, perfect Penelope who everyone else has to apologize to because she's the 'victim'. That makes her so much more unlikable

-speaking of unlikable, most of y'all who say you ship Polin straight up do not like Colin as a character. And it's obvious. Turning him into a character he isn't, wanting him on hands and knees begging for a second chance, considering him only as an extension of Penelope when he has so much richness as a character in his own right. Assuming the worst in his actions and striking out all the good about him in favor of a narrative that deforms Polin into a ship where he is always wrong and she is always right. And it turns a lot of people off to the ship. People who ship Polin already get turned off by how much this fandom hates Colin, let alone peeps just getting into it or outside of it. There are people who despise Polin that discuss Colin more favorably than we do in our own ship and it makes no sense because he is a genuinely fantastic character. He refuses to abide by toxic masculinity, he's gentle and sweet and caring, he's silly and unsure and self-sacrificing, he's putting on an act and he's self-critical and he's got such a big heart. He's the kindest person in Pen's life. He supports her unyieldingly. He's never done anything to purposefully hurt her and he cherishes her as a friend. Why do we so rarely talk about him favorably?

-Polin is NOT Colin vs. Penelope. That dynamic can create some interesting conflict, sure, but it needs to move beyond that because at the core? At the core, it's Polin vs. The Problem. and it's so much more fulfilling that way

[sapphire-weapon]

First off i wanted to say i appreciate you always sharing your true opinion without muddying it up too much or trying to appease people. The honesty is very refreshing!

Okk anyway i keep seeing this take going around and wanted to know your thoughts on it (i have my own, but):

Leon in infinite darkness asks shen may out to dinner once and then later is looking forward to dinner with Claire. Do you see both of these incidents as platonic? The first one reads as flirting to me and the last one seems like an intentional ship tease from the writers (before uh, yknow, making the encounter end on a sour note... look, that one hug they share when leon saves her is ship tease 100% they know what theyre doing)

A lot of people seem to think he is just innocently wanting a meal and I kind of get that vibe with Claire I guess but... ... ... ANYWAY what are your thoughts. I think people are just simply afraid of whore leon

The way I look at it is that my goal first and foremost is to analyze the story text in a serious way -- and it's impossible to have a productive conversation about narrative, characterization, and use of literary tropes if I treat every single possible interpretation of the text as valid. There needs to be some uniformity to what I'm saying, or else there's no point in having the conversation.

That, and I also feel like there's no point in having this little community at all if we can't be honest with each other. Friendships aren't built on uwu. They're built on a sincere exchange of common interests and ideas.

So, I'm really grateful that we've all found each other. It's been so fucking awesome to meet so many people who are genuinely interested in a literary analysis of RE's story and want to brainstorm ideas and piece through things together as a team -- because this has never been my experience in RE fandom before, over the full 25 years that I've been here.

I love u all very much ❤

Ok, so as for your actual question --

I pretty much agree with your interpretation of what's going on there.

People really need to get the fuck over this weird, puritanical pearl-clutching they're doing and being scandalized by OG Leon being a slut canonically. OG Leon tries to fuck Hunnigan at one point, for god's sake.

Because, like. If you try to handwave away or whitewash the way that Leon is pure testosterone; he's a walking hard-on looking for a hole throws himself at people, you're erasing and overlooking a really big part of his character.

Leon is lonely and he fucking hates himself.

The way that this manifests/the way that he expresses this is different between Remake and OG, but that fact about him never goes away. Remake Leon puts up walls and self-isolates as though he's trying to protect everyone around him from the misfortune of having to know him, but OG Leon does the opposite. OG Leon is constantly giving more and more of himself away in the hopes that, eventually, there'll be nothing left.

So, there's a few different things going on there when he asks out Shen May and then Claire in ID.

With Shen May -- yes, he is actually asking her out. That is a legitimate offer for a date that he will go into with the intention of putting the moves on her and having it end in sex.

He does this not just because she's a hot girl -- though, of course he does think she's a hot girl -- he does it because he feels enough of a connection to her that, if she were to go out with him once, he could use that as a way to trick himself into thinking he's still worth other people's time -- even if for just a few hours. Again: he's really fucking lonely. No one person ever stays in his life long enough to form a meaningful relationship with him (platonic or otherwise), but if he can take a girl out to dinner -- hey, that's something, right?

And if he were to actually fuck her, he'd be able to lose himself in her wants and desires for long enough that he can forget how much he fucking hates himself. If he were to feel her hands on his body, he would actually feel wanted for a change. And if he were to make her come, he would feel needed -- and, if he were to make her come more than once, that would be even better. (Remember: Leon is "The Protector." He needs to be needed. He's probably the master of foreplay and will tease and touch and put his mouth on a partner for well over an hour before he actually fucks them.)

And, ever since being kidnapped by the CIA, the only way that Leon has ever been needed or wanted or useful in any way has been through physical means and the use of his body. That's why he defaults to sex as a coping mechanism before he gives up and just starts drinking. He might not have any value as a person, but as a physical body and an object -- well, that's a different story.

Leon objectifies himself, is what I'm saying.

With Claire, though, it's a little bit different.

Yes, it's ship bait -- but it's very mild ship bait, because the context for this one is way different.

Leon isn't being sincere with Claire when he says what he says. He knows that Claire didn't call him or meet up with him because she wants to go out with him or is looking for a booty call. He's not stupid (mostly).

Leon is being sarcastic and self-deprecating when he tells Claire that he was hoping she was going to want to get dinner with him. It's a sad joke to him, because, in his mind, the thought that Claire would be interested in him at all is actually ridiculous.

Because Claire knows him in ways that Shen May didn't. He can't charm his way into Claire's panties by pretending that he's something more than -- or that he's someone -- that he's not.

Claire doesn't need him -- Claire has never needed him, and Leon has absolutely no reason to believe she wants him, either.

What good is he to her, really, when she already knows the truth? She knows that Leon's only real use is as a weapon -- that he's not good for literally anything outside of an active bioterrorism situation. She knows that he fucks up everything he ever tries to do in his personal life. So, why would she want him? Why would she ever want him?

She doesn't. That's why she's about to disappear from his life again for maybe another six years. Maybe more. Because he's not worth being around.

At least, that's what his brain tells him.

It's a really self-defeating mindset that turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Him talking about getting dinner with Claire is a joke, and the punchline is his own opinion of himself.

[bonefall]

What do you think of Fallen Leaves (as in, canon Fallen Leaves)? I'm pretty neutral towards him, but I'm curious to know what you think of him and why you decided to merge him with Hollyleaf. Also, does Hollyleaf ever regain a better understanding of Clanmew again since you mentioned she only half remembered it? Does she ever teach anyone the ancient language or nah? I can imagine kits begging to know ancient swear words.

i dont like jhim

BANGER idea, wasted. Ancient ghost in the tunnels??!? He drowned to death in an ancient ritual?!!? He has been unable to move on for a thousand moons ??!?!?!?!?!?!

Idk make him a lonely sadboy or something. No he doesn't try to drag people down. No there's no ghostly powers or anything. No he's not like a folklore ghost.

He just lives in the tunnels and Is Sad. Lame.

Erin Hunter LOVES coming up with cool ideas for characters and then doing nothing with those ideas, slowly turning them into boring ship material and cardboard background cats.

"We can't just do nothing with the ghost, idk. Hollyleaf is the closest female character. Ship it"

Do they have chemistry? No

but holly is a Girl and fallen is a Boy so that's good enough. Have him (ghost) nurse her back to health ig, people eat that trope up, no effort required.

It also frustrates me that this random ancient Softpaw's death made the entire Lake Society consider leaving their very bountiful home. "Oo it's been a hard year or something. Let's leave everything we've ever known."

Broken Shadow being dramatic about his death is also... fuck it I'm gonna be honest, it's annoying. I hate how women in this series are always more torn up than their husbands over dead kits, I hate how they needed to make Broken Shadow "insane with grief" and completely hysterical to drive home how sad this one, random, singular loss is

Honestly, I don't think there's a single part about Jay's Time Travel Adventure that I like. I'm seriously trying to think of one thing I enjoyed and I'm coming up with a blank. I like the vague idea of the cats leaving the lake I guess fgsdfgf

So, personally, I think there's 2 things you can really do here with Fallen. You replace/merge him with someone for a stable timeloop, or you replace/merge Rock with Jayfeather for a stable timeloop. Without that, being in the tunnels for so long doesn't matter.

Fallen could have been in there for 2 years or 200, nothing about him is legitimately old to contrast modern cats. He was waiting for someone who no one has any actual attachment to because her entire personality is being a crazy-with-grief mother.

Hell, you could replace Fallen with a weirdo who hates sunlight and it would fill the exact same role as Love Interest Who Doesn't Leave Tunnel.

He has the bland honor of not being as bad as Moth Flight but I'm sorry. I would squarely place Fallen Leaves in F tier. You can definitely make an argument that the idea of him is cool, but somehow that feels worse because he could have been GREAT and he wasn't.

SO INSTEAD I merged him with Holly! Because making this unnerving connection between Hollypaw and the tunnels, catching glimpses of a strange ghost, and interacting with her mother when she was young and wreckless is FUN imo and accomplishes a lot more about her whole arc coming to terms with the lie.

Naughty god goes into the timeout tunnel to be adequately wiggled, indeed

And YES she does eventually get a better handle on Clanmew again, it just takes a couple years. And 100% she teaches some kittens how to swear in ancient Lakemew.

[lonelyroommp3]

💚💖les mis

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character? i sincerely hope people have gotten better with this since i was truly active in the fandom but ohhh my god the 2013-15ish trend of treating marius like a completely incompetent goofball. this would reliably send 16-17 year old me into an absolute blind rage i'd be fucking crytyping in my fury like HE PASSED THE BAR EXAM HE TAUGHT HIMSELF MULTIPLE LANGUAGES STOP ACTING LIKE HE'S STUPID JUST BECAUSE HE'S NOT VERY SOCIALLY COMPETENT anyway i stopped typing in the middle of writing that ^ because i just Realised. the autism...

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series? opinion about the Work Itself - i still do not get why people went sooo hard dunking on specifically russell crowe's performance in les mis 2012. i liked his acting very much. yes his vocals weren't fantastic but come on. if we've got to choose an enemy here we should be focusing on hugh jackman's high notes in bring him home. crowe was just underwhelming jackman was actively grating to me

opinion about The Fandom... i've said it before & will say it again but i genuinely think the collective modern au fanon that overtook this fandom as the movie blew up on here genuinely completely ruined the les mis fandom as a whole and at this point i'm frankly not entirely sure if it can be fixed. as someone who'd been in les mis fandom for a few years prior to that point (first on livejournal/abaisse/deviantart with the old guard, then moving over to lurk on tumblr in the 6 months or so before the movie came out) it legitimately felt like watching an invasive species get introduced and wreck the biodiversity of an entire ecosystem. like i sometimes fantasise about writing One Good Fanfiction that will remind people that actually diversity of headcanons/ship combos/etc is Good For The Fandom but then i realise how few people will probably even bother to read it at this point if it's not the same fucking combo of bland completely ooc enjoltaire and whatever background ships we've all collectively decided to bat for this year & i think. it is simply not worth my time or effort to be perfectly honest

[weaselbeaselpants]

About fandom smexuality, aging-up, age gaps vs CSEM

The thing I wish people could understand is the debate over whether or not loli/shota/cub/drawn 'artwork' is inherently cp is a different debate than the fandom questions of:

" Is making a child character into an adult for *reasons* akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making a childincanon-now-adult-character date an always-was-adultincanon-character akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making absolutely everything into a sexy pinuplegalage adult good for me? "

" Can you write about these topics at all? "

" What is someone's mental age vs physical age when it comes to fantasy fiction involving shit like gods, monsters, shapeshifting talking animals having smex? "

" Is it wrong to dismiss a character's age when they otherwise don't act or look the age they're supposed to be +are treated as sexualized adult in canon? " ((kinda specific; I'm mostly thinking of Ariel and Jasmine being canonically 16 and 14 for some reason.))

All these above debates are worth talking about. And by talking about, I do mean having discourse over because it's unavoidable. No one is going to agree 100%, I think that's just the nature of sexualizing things or maybe just fiction in general. Something that may be tame to you can be triggering/traumatizing for another person -especially if that person is a survivor of any kind of ab*se. You are not responsible for their well-being, B U T, you ARE responsible for yourself and not being a dick to survivors. I also think it's such a 'your millage may vary';'depending on the situation in canon v fanon'-shit going on.

f.e. shipping the themepark young man version of the Mad Hatter with the adult woman Alice that walk around Disneyland and are their own characters apart from their animated counterparts but clearly are still meant to illicit those versions-- I can be sus and grossed out and designate it as one of my own notps all I want, same with Lydiajuice and Fluttercord. I DO find these ships genuinely 'icky' to me because I can't get over the association w the animated versions. BUT- knowing the context of what people are into it and how, I'm not going to call that shit amoral. It's not. I'm just allowed to dislike it. Cope.

Ultimately people are right that it's sus how we keep making underage characters into smexy adults to appeal to adults with sexual and/or shipping tastes. Like 'can we seriously not comprehend characters in a non sexual (or in fandom, non shiptastic) context EVER about anything?' is a genuine debate worth having.

People are also right that susbehavior can be excused with legitimate circumstances; like how coming of age stories inherently mean minors discussing sexuality because teens are sexually imbalanced and sex interested. There's a LOT of talk to be had there and shade to be delivered.

As an asexual who's dabled in, and has friends, who make and sell adult art for adults, I just don't see this problem[i.e. aging up minor characters into adults] as an inherent red flag.

Many honest nonpredatory people have adultified versions of their childhood crushes. There is a porno version of Alice in Wonderland where Alice was a sexually adventurous twenty-something getting down with other adults in furrsuits and singing. No really. Me in my new fangled respect for the og novel can be all "GAWD why do we have to make this sexy?" all I want -AND YET-- I'm also glad they made the porno version of the story for adults ABOUT adults. Good job. I'm sure lots of people looking for that thing loved it. Let cringe adults be cringe adults, damnit.

Sexuality and sexual preference (not orientation) IS messy and complicated even if you do all this by yourself and without a partner.

~End of part 1.

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

Finished reading Sanderson Secret Project 4! Thoughts below the cut (mostly copied from me messaging my friends on Discord)

the vibes are so scifi. Like it's still Breaths and Shardblades but he's being so science about it

Spren in Stormlight: magical girl fairy companions. Spren in this: AI companion built into your scifi augments

Ooh, Nomad's been to Ashyn? That's the only planet with floating cities near Roshar, iirc

I love that Rosharans always specify shade when they mention eye color. She doesn't just have green eyes she has light green eyes. That adjective is important

Man on the run for his life hasn't slept in a week no way out keeps getting distracted by the urge to do anthropology

Another thing that's very funny is Nomad is talking about how unbelievably low on Investiture he is and it's still, like, unfathomably wealthy by Nalthis standards

Actually I'm gonna look this up. Nomad has 1500 BEUs in chapter one. He had at least 18750 shortly before that.

In Warbreaker, Vasher starts off with around 50 Breaths, which he considers low while acknowledging that many people would not. Most Returned have the equivalent of 2000. This is enough to be worshiped as gods.

Ah okay looking at the coppermind for the Heightenings this makes sense. It's all very consistent

Fifth Heightening: 2000 Breaths: fast healing, high durability, casual magic Ninth Heightening: 20000 Breaths: oh, you know ;) Tenth Heightening: 50000 Breaths: now that's just excessive

Now I will exit the coppermind before I have another "let me just check Rayse's species midway through reading RoW" moment [Fun fact: vital status is listed right next to species!]

I'm sorry did this man break his radiant oaths and then Mayalaran his shardblade back to pseudo life? Is that what's happening here?

Chapter 6 "No. Even in my head I will not admit Rock is right about the airsick lowlander thing"

I thought part of that phrase sounded like Nazh's name!

Gonna be honest, given how very dead He is, I somehow doubt that Adonalsium will remember their plight eventually

Love that "one of them is secretly a dragon" is a legitimate possibility

Huh. I wonder if they're Ghostblood Scadrians, Harmony-sent Scadrians, or just random people

Chapter 9: "Walking into a storm wasn't something usually done on [Roshar]" Unless you're in the middle of dinner and you really need a knife, of course.

I really wonder how confusing it would be to read ssp4 without reading Stormlight Archive

Oh boy. Wit's here!

Like if you only read the secret projects as if they were a standalone series how long would it take to realize that the cabin boy, the coatrack, and the hologram are the same person

"back before God died" You mean before you and your friends killed God? It didn't just happen there was a whole 17 person conspiracy

Hoid has two modes: "I am a silly little man" and "I am older than your planet and I will weep as I allow it to burn". No in between

"Adonalsium will remember our plight eventually" Man who just got off a skype call with one of the people who murdered Adonalsium ten thousand years ago:...

"Can you fly?" "Who told you I used to- oh you mean fly a ship. Yeah probably."

"The Chorus tells of our old world..." "Yes, yes, the forests of Hell, we've all been there"

The implication that there's a thriving interplanetary job market for specifically bronze Mistings...

If there's one thing that I've learned from Homestuck, it's to never turn your back on the body

Every new hint about what went down on Roshar in the back half of Stormlight just increases my fear about what's going to go down in the back half of Stormlight,

"I was destined to unite all of my people" Man who used to work for Dalinar Kholin: l, and I cannot stress this enough, ol

"Your planet shouldn't have different countries. You should have conquered and unified it all" Sir I cannot stress enough how Big Roshar is. They can barely keep the Alethi Princedoms unified there are so many more people on Roshar than here and they are so much more spread out

Now I'm just picturing that Ron Swanson meme. "I laugh at who I want - Wit"

It feels appropriate that this guy's ancestors are from the planet most closely associated with Ambition

It also feels appropriate that Mercy was there, tbh

Love that this guy is not a particularly soldier-y guy by Rosharan standards, but he's got so much soldier energy in comparison to Canticle that no one has yet noticed that he physically can't hurt anyone

Love that they talk about actual rocket science but it's interspersed with phrases like "raw investiture" and "zephyr aether" and "why take all the effort to travel the void of space when you can just walk through another dimension to travel between planets?"

Yes, yes, the plot to kill God, we've all heard of it

Khriss's Second Law :D

I'm really wondering how newbie friendly this book is. Like, they're explaining everything, but they're also throwing a lot of terms around and all of them are things I already know. For me, who read Warbreaker, when he mentions Commands as a thing on Nalthis that's just a refresher. If that's all the context I have...

The fact that this book includes both hoverbikes and a room full of angry ghosts in the same town

Oh that is a very different perspective on the whole lighteyes/darkeyes thing

Ah. Hemolurgy. From Threnodites. He's right, the cosmere is an increasingly small place

Highspren????

What did he even swear to?

I mean "Auxiliary" isn't a very Honorspren name and obviously not all of Bridge Four are Windrunners but Most Of Them Are

262 "You threw out your conscience years ago, I know, though I never had a chance to meet her" Seriously what is going to go down in the back half of Stormlight

Roshar Man: yeah you can totally go into the murder storm my friend Kal does it all the time lmao

They're called Skybreakers because they break you. Storms yeah Bridge Four!

Yessss He did the thing! I was hoping he'd do the salute!

Oh, that's who Zellion is

Hoid, Zahel, etc: I'm changing my name just for fun. Just for the vibes. New planet new me :) Also same planet new me :) Aliases are so fun :) Elegy: I'm literally not the same person anymore but I am keeping the name because it fits me really well. Dead me can change her name idc

Yeah something really bad goes down in the back half of Stormlight. They should not be that surprised to see a Rosharan.

Awakened Steelmind? This tech is so fun

"I like to think that this is all part of God's plan. That He made before He died :)" -- Tootsie Noodles, Starship (2011)

"God had nothing to do with it it was all Auxiliary." "And what's Auxiliary?" [Zellion remembers that spren are fragments of Honor and Cultivation, who are/were themselves Shards of Adonalsium] "..."

"Sigzil was a capable fighter, but far from the Order's best" -- Rhythm of War chapter 6

I'm done btw

Also I didn't talk about her much but I love how down for murder Elegy is. She loves her sister and she's learning all about different kinds of strength but she was so happy when she had that shardblade

Also, speaking of Stormlight, didn't love Nomad mentioning that glowing red eyes remind him of his friends! Hope he just meant Renarin and Rlain but I'm worried he didn't!

In retrospect it makes perfect sense that they already know about the Shattering. They fled Threnody, which is only Like That because of the Odium/Ambition/Mercy fight that killed Uli Da and Splintered Ambition. Those three only existed as Shards because they had already killed Adonalsium.

Also I hadn't realized or had forgotten that Shades are a "being from Threnody" thing, rather than a "dying on Threnody" thing

Fascinating that Auxiliary's corpse can still change forms even when his consciousness is completely gone. That implies that Maya and the others did something on purpose to lock themselves into sword form, rather than it being a direct consequence of the spen dying.

Also don't think I didn't notice Sanderson deliberately dancing around exactly what Sigzil's oaths were. He was Fourth Ideal in two different Orders and everything past Second is personalized

Of course the Scadrians don't interfere except to ruin things. That's so Scadrial

Love Nomad repeatedly going "Okay... I'm Azish, though." Man isn't Thaylen or Alethi it's a completely different culture that happens to share a planet. The Cinder King has no concept of this. The Greater Good doesn't even understand the difference between Roshar and Scadrial

I was laughing at the Cinder King for thinking that you could just conquer all of Roshar (it's so big), and then I remembered the Voidbringer reveal in... I think Words of Radiance? And just started laughing harder. They literally did conquer the entire planet, other than the Shattered Plains and a few other remote areas. That canonically happened

Adonalsium is literally mentioned more in ssp4 than all the other Cosmere books combined lol

[deweydecimalchickens]

So I went down a rabbit hole after the throwaway comment about England's Queen(ish) Matilda/Maud in 'Only Murders in the Building'. You get a years-long civil war known as The Anarchy in the 12th century (Cadfael times) after Henry I died without a legitimate male heir (one legitimate daughter and 24 illegitimate kids). Henry's daughter Matilda and his nephew Stephen are fighting for the throne. I maintain this period should actually be called The Bullshit for reasons including but not limited to:

Entire crisis precipitated by putting all your eggs in one basket, or in this case aristocrats in one boat. The White Ship disaster (which is caused by the passengers getting drunk on the heir's wine and wanting to race another boat) takes out, as far as I can tell, 300 people important enough to be doing international travel in 1120, including the heir to the throne and two of his half-siblings. It's a bit of a political problem.

Stephen, incidentally, was supposed to be on the White Ship but misses it because he's got the shits.

Henry I dies FIFTEEN YEARS LATER, of an honest-to-god SURFEIT OF LAMPREYS (palfreys, according to '1066 and All That'), not having managed to produce another legitimate male child despite apparently being very worried about it and marrying a second wife for this very purpose.

Stephen and Matilda basically fight to a standstill over multiple years with the amount of ridiculous capturings-and-escapings you'd expect from a children's cartoon where nobody can die and the villain has to come back next week, and not actual for-reals warfare. The country is nonfunctional while all this shit is going on. At one point Stephen just straight-up lets Matilda go, because he's too stupid to live, apparently.

Matilda gets as far as a coronation but is chased out by a hostile crowd because god forbid women do anything. She keeps the title 'Lady of the English' which is like when you don't get any more money but your job title gets fancier.

The eventual solution, that Stephen can keep the throne but Matilda's son will inherit, absolutely stinks of everyone else being sick of their nonsense and wanting it to be over. (Stephen has a son, but he's called Eustace so he's obviously shit, but nobody knows this because CS Lewis hasn't been invented yet.)

ANYWAY! That's not the point. The point is Adeliza of Louvain, Matilda's stepmother. Henry I marries her in 1121, after his first wife dies in 1118 and his only legitimate son dies in 1120. Her one job is to produce a male heir to ward off a succession crisis. He's a 54-year-old with 24 illegitimate kids who claimed the throne after his brother had a hunting accident. She's an 18-year-old who likes French poetry. They are together for fourteen years until Henry dies of eating goddamn eels in 1135. They have zero (0) children.

Henry's bits clearly work; see above re: 24 illegitimate children. Okay he's getting on, but that's not a problem for fathers the way it is for mothers. It's not like their part of the baby-making process is difficult or time-consuming.

Maybe she's tragically infertile? LOL NOPE. Three years after Henry dies, Adeliza remarries - to William d'Aubigny, who is six years younger than her. Starting in her thirties, she has seven children with him in twelve years before fucking off to an abbey.

I can only conclude Adeliza - barely an adult, married to the king of England, given the one job of Incubator With A Pulse - spent fourteen years fighting Henry off her lady parts with a shovel. As soon as she's free to marry her toyboy, she has ALL the babies, until she loses interest and does something else instead.

I want to talk to this incredible woman. I need a ouija board and someone who can speak Medieval French.

This has been an episode of Feverish History.

[gabessquishytum]

Okay LISTEN on my bullshit again but your last comment about Dream being a voyeur set off my kink bells to alarm mode. I get that Dream is a lovely voyeur. I do! And I love that! But I want to offer this up -

Hob as the voyeur

Maybe different scenarios like:

Dream fucking someone else (dealers choice here who) and Hob (accidentally?) walking in - this one could go MANY ways. Angsty because it’s someone whose not Hob, on purpose kink negotiated scene, cucking, sudden realization of the “oh” moment that Dream does have sex and Hob didn’t think he would ever be interested and now he’s VERY interested, etc etc.

Hob as a legitimate honest to god peeping tom and all the morally grey that brings in. (This is my let Hob be Problematic™ agenda)

Hob watching other humans in the waking world - maybe an orgy?

Dream masturbating and Hob walks in on him (I’ll be honest I have a WIP I haven’t finished of this because this does it so much for me. But you know the saying- MORE CAKE)

Dream specifically sending Hob sex dreams [&/or daydreams] of himself fucking or masturbating and forcing Hob to watch them - Let Dream be Problematic™ too as a little treat

Incredible content once again, you have truly outdone yourself with this one my friend.

Idk what it is about this ship, I have never in my entire life found cucking remotely sexy but now I’m like. What if. WHAT IF. Either in a dream (problematique dream my beloved <3), or even in the waking world (depending how attached to canon you are). Hob walks in on Dream fucking Eleanor?

Hob loves Eleanor, he worships the ground she walks on, she’s his soulmate and he has never been so happy. Hob also loves his mysterious Stranger, who he has met only twice and even so, who holds an entire portion of his heart.

And right there, in their marriage bed where their son was conceived, Eleanor lies with her arms clasped around the neck of the Stranger. They look so good together, both fair skinned and soft. Hob’s Stranger is driving his wife to the very heights of passion, drawing sounds from her lips that Hob has never even imagined. He stands in the doorway and god, of course he isn’t going to interrupt! There’s no feeling of betrayal, just an overwhelming sense of how fucking lucky he is. He looks into Eleanor’s eyes and she smiles at him like she wants him to join them but Hob just. Can’t. He’s watching the way his Stranger moves like liquid, like molten silver. He’s watching the way that pretty cock drives into his wife’s body as though claiming a place within her. It’s. Too much. He doesn’t even get to touch himself, he’s already reached a trembling orgasm. And if it’s a dream, he wakes up beside Eleanor wondering what the fuck and also wow. And if it’s real… he has a lot of questions. When he can actually speak again.

I want to talk about EVERYTHING in your ask at length and please be aware that I am VERY INSPIRED and there may be a barrage of voyeur Hob fics on their way. But I have to mention peeping tom Hob here because I am also very much a fan of the problematic Hob agenda.

Like. Maybe it’s an accident at first. Hob has been dreaming for over 600 years so he has a pretty good level of control over the dreaming itself. He can walk around and see things that other sleeping people don’t. He doesn’t mean to end up in the Dreamlord’s bedroom, obviously. Especially since aforementioned Dreamlord is his best friend! It’s an accident, 100%.

The part where he hides against the door with his face pressed in a convenient crack while he watches Dream indulge in a little self-pleasure? Not an accident. The part where he comes back again, night after night, sticking his hand down his pants so he can rub one out while he watches. Also not an accident.

Dream knows. He knows everything. It amuses him that Hob thinks he’s being so sneaky and devious. He’s only there because Dream enjoys being watched. But Hob doesn’t know that. And the mixture of pleasure and guilt has never felt so delicious.

[dracomysthical]

ok if i’m being honest i think one thing that could have made leo and calypso’s arc better is if they just. became friends. no romantic feelings and whatnot, just encountered and accepted each other as friends.

i’ve personally fallen off the caleo boat myself, because. well. that's another post entirely. but i also don’t think calypso and/or leo deserve to be treated like idiots for or even villains sometimes for meeting and connecting with each other. so, while i don’t think their romance worked, i legitimately think their arc would have made much more sense and told a much better message if they ended up becoming deeply emotional and connected friends instead.

leo has been struggling with being the seventh wheel amongst a ship filled with three couples and one satyr who misses his wife, which is seriously a severe emotional toll on a young teenager who copes with his crippling fear of losing the ones he loves with humor, and it makes complete sense for him to feel like he needs a romantic partner just to feel less alone. similarly, but on the opposite end, calypso has been so lonely she becomes desperate to form a romantic connection with anyone she meets. they’re both figures who think that having a romantic partner is what would make their life more fulfilling. which is definitely not what would actually make their life more fulfilling.

so i think for their arc to make sense, their story need to be a tale of self-actualization instead of a romance. it starts off the same: leo crashes onto the island, he isn’t calypso’s type at all, and leo is deeply offended by calypso’s severe reaction towards him. they swore off the idea they would fall in love, romantically, with each other… except this time, they commit.

they still warm up to each other. leo tries to get off the island, and calypso scoffs. calypso makes him clothes, he fixes her bird bath. calypso still gets angry over the image of reyna, except this time when Leo asks her why she’s even mad, she realizes she doesn’t know why she’s jealous. she doesn’t like leo; he’s not her type, he’s just odd and kind, and she doesn’t like him. sure, she definitely feels desperate for any sort of romantic attachment and he's the only other person on the island, but he's so. annoying. and he definitely doesn’t like her! so does she really need to be jealous? what has being jealous ever done for her? and... what has she done in the name of this jealousy? for the first time in so many centuries, calypso starts to realize that everything she did in an effort to assuage her immense loneliness have never helped at all.

and leo wants to apologize, obviously, maybe even get to know her, and some of his thoughts are straying towards romance… but is that really what he wants? he already might be facing imminent death, does he really want to deal with a romance on top of that? she’s cool, and gorgeous, obviously, but he… just met her. it makes sense that he's attracted to her, but is it worth it? he crashed onto her island like a wrecking ball, and seriously, he barely knows her. and isn’t she, like, centuries old or something? how does that even work? does he want it to work?

and it all comes together when they’re eating dinner together one night and leo mentions percy off-handedly and calypso bursts into tears. she confesses she’s angry, she’s so so angry that so many people came and left, that the gods gave her this punishment, that this punishment has transformed her into something she never wanted to become: she thought she loved percy, and yet she went and cursed his girlfriend the moment she got a chance. (could leo blame her for a promise percy didn't keep?) how could she have done that if she really did love him?

and that's how she realizes she doesn't. she's lonely, and tormented, and tortured by the gods to never have companionship. most likely she never fell in love with any of those heroes, only with what it could have been, with the freedom and reprieve they represented.

leo listens wordlessly, and he thinks about his own predicament. it's similar, he realizes. he's desperate to not be lonely, to not be left out. in doing so, he might take anything that comes and try to make something out of it - but would it really mean anything when it's just a means to a purpose? when it's done not because of love, but because he just wants to not be alone?

he's shaken out of his thoughts when calypso thanks him. surprised, he asks her why. she looks at him with a shaky smile and says she's glad the gods gave her someone she didn't fall in love with. because even though she doesn't like leo romantically, he still gave her just as much comfort as all the others. and beyond that, he helped her realize more about herself, and what she really needs.

leo stares at her tear-stricken face under the starlight, and tells her he's going to get her off the island.

she sighs and shakes her head, but he leans over and says he means it. he wants her to know she doesn't need someone to fall in love with her to come and rescue her; he's going to do it regardless. he's going to prove to her that what she needs isn't love, it's for someone who cares. and despite everything, leo has begun to care for calypso. and he wants her off this island.

she doesn't really believe him, and she lets him know. but she takes his hand and squeezes it, and she smiles again.

leo builds his navigation device. he takes a crystal from her cave. one night, he catches her standing outside with her eyes closed and face twisted in concentration, and before he could ask what she's doing a ship blooms into form at the beach.

when she opens her eyes, leo asks who she was thinking of. she looks at him, smiles, and tells him she thought of her one true love: flying over the ocean with ogygia shrinking behind her.

events play out, a prophecy is fulfilled, and the hero of fire dies. but he comes back to life on a dragon, and when he lands on the beach of an island no one is supposed to find twice one of his best friends in the world from a chance meeting that was coming for centuries is running towards him before flinging herself into his arms. they fall down on the sand, laughing, before he pulls her up, jabbering on about all the things he's going to show her that she's just going to love, and she can't stop smiling at the world he's describing.

it's not all sunshine and rainbows, of course. the real world can be disappointing. leo and calypso bicker all the time, but this time there is less tension on "this isn't what our relationship is supposed to be," and more of "we need to do better if we want to stay friends with each other." so they do. calypso talks about opening a shop, and leo jokes about having her hire him as an assistant. she takes it into consideration. leo makes sure to teach her as much as he can about the world, not just what to look forward to, but also how it actually is. they run from monsters and argue about how to spend money and leo shows calypso celebrity magazines and she tells him about different constellations in the sky.

and they both realize: they don't need a one true love. they just need this: a companion who forces you to grow, who tells you when you're stupid and sticks by your side. someone who you want to keep in your life forever because that's just what best friends do, that's just how it is.

"are you two dating?" percy asks, dumbfounded, the day leo returns to camp half-blood, after calypso threatened everyone who so much as thinks about punching leo with decapitation by wind.

calypso gapes at him. over percy's shoulder, leo catches her gaze makes a weird face. calypso rolls her eyes so hard it almost disappears into her head. then they both start laughing hysterically.

"no, percy," calypso says, wiping her eyes and grinning so wide it must have hurt. "we're just friends."

and that, really, was enough.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 12 - Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation Vol. 1 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

So, like everyone on tumblr, I was at least peripherally aware of The Untamed, if only as ‘the C-drama with the impossibly pretty men everyone loves shipping about necromancy or something.’ (Also the one crossover porn fanfic with so many tags that it broke AO3.) So I wasn’t quite coming into this blind, but I think I came pretty close. It sure as hell wasn’t anywhere close to my vague expectations.

Anyway, this was fun! Also absolutely let me cross off reading something from an entirely unfamiliar literary subculture off my metaphorical bingo card for the year. Just reams of assumed context I absolutely did not possess. Kind of loved it (but the occasional clarifying footnotes were very much necessary and appreciated.)

Which is to say – there was so much more slapstick and physical comedy than I expected from the vague intimations of feudal politics and magical warfare I got? Not usually my sort of humour but it got a laugh out of me once or twice. My favourite character is Wei Wuxian’s donkey.

The conceit of the first story – reviled and abused failson destroys his own soul and offers up his body as a host to the spirit of a legendary evil wizard to wreak bloody vengeance for him, but fucks up the bit of the ritual that tells the spirit who to take revenge on. Also the whole ‘legendary evil wizard’ reputation was at least partially and vaguely due to a propaganda campaign by his enemies and he’s not particular enthusiastic about the ‘murder a whole family’ thing – is also just incredible. I kind of wish it had been more drawn out, before the whole ‘gotta collect them [chunks of a specific super cursed corpse] all!’ plot became the main justifying connective tissue.

Not that the overarching plot is really the story’s strong point – it’s basically just the excuse to keep Wei Wuxian and Wang Lanji together and having adventures. The actual selling points are the backstories and character interactions and to a lesser extent the monster of the week stuff. All of which are pretty well done!

Though as far as monster of the week stuff goes – I’m vaguely aware that cultivation fantasy is a whole, like, genre, with about as many weirdly specific shared assumptions as ‘generic’ western fantasy written by people swimming in a sea of Tolkien/Conan-as-interpreted-by-Warcraft-and-D&D, but I’ve really got zero clue whatsoever to what degree the worldbuilding of this is typical of the genre? Not that it particularly matters, beyond some of the reveals making much more sense if they’re building off an assumed awareness of how the world’s expected to work, all more or less new (though more or less intuitive) to me either way. Fun to see so much magic based around music.

Anyways – obviously I’m going in with a biased perspective but my god can you see how this ended up with a massive shipping fandom. The entire story is nothing but impossibly beautiful men flirting/pranking/sexually harassing each other while being utterly and entirely capable to even understand let along communicate their feelings. The two lead’s entire relationship in this volume is like a dated mid-2000s comedy sketch about two ostensibly straight guys playing gay chicken and both being so competitive that they just end up fucking. Author really knew what they were doing with the fanfic bait.

(Though honestly I’m legitimately unsure if it’s just a matter of narrative choice to not dwell on motivations or Wei Wuxian really is the single most unselfaware asshole in the entire universe. He legitimately seems incapable of understanding his own motivations most of the time.)

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the art, which really is very lovely. Though I will be entirely honest that there’s only so many handsome black-haired men in flowing robes I can keep apart in my head.

But yeah, fun read overall. Don’t exactly feel compelled to go seek out the next volume, but don’t regret having read this one, damn sight better than some other things I’ve read this year.

[exsanguidus]

re headcanon: how do you think Astarion will go about marriage proposal? will he be nervous or smarmy. would he even want to marry at all?

This is going to be a long answer. Also, should note this is of course in reference to non-Ascended Astarion.

Since I headcanon Astarion as a Moon Elf, I think 3e and 3.5e lore on how elves view love, romance, and sexuality is probably pretty close to what Moon Elf culture practices, seeing as they're stated to be rather adventurous and tend not to stay in one place for too long.

3.5e Elves Reddit Citing 3e

This is also why I headcanon that Astarion is rather open-minded to the idea of Tav taking on another lover or having threesomes/foursomes together.

That said, I think that deep down he prefers monogamy, particularly because he's selfish in the sense he wants to have something of his own that he doesn't have to share. Especially after those 200 years he didn't have himself for himself and the fact he can't recall ever genuinely being loved just for being himself rather than what he can offer.

But so long as Tav reassures him that it won't affect their relationship negatively and he won't be neglected in love, affection, and care, he's not opposed. He trusts Tav enough to be responsible, honest, and communicative.

He also mentions, if you approach him about being with Halsin post-his quest, that while the idea of change has always sort of terrified him because it's an unknown, he's accepted that life happens and if Tav does end up falling for someone else, he's confident he'll eventually be ok because he has himself.

Now to get to the actual question at hand: how would Astarion go about a marriage proposal.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but he wouldn't. At least not in the sense that Humans think of marriage and marriage proposals.

He's definitely read about them in the sappy and smutty romance novels he's read, but he personally doesn't subscribe to the idea that he needs to showcase his true love for his partner like that because his partner would know through actions and words they speak to one another privately exactly how Astarion feels about them.

Astarion would really just start referring to his partner as his Wife/Husband/Spouse one day. And then after that, just start using their surname along with his own like that's what his name has always been.

For example, I ship exclusively with my buddy Vex's Tav OC Annette Harlow (@knivesong). So, in our post-game verse Astarion refers to himself as Astarion Harlow Ancunín as his completely full name. He wasn't asked to and he doesn't just going around announcing it randomly to everyone, but he decided that on his own and tells people when its relevant to do so because that's how he decided he wanted to show Annie's place in his life while still respecting both their individualities and unique personhoods.

I also recently put up a headcanon that elves traditionally wear wedding bands on their right hand, if they choose to wear any at all. I believe Astarion would wear the True Love's Caress ring on his right ring finger. He originally didn't until post-his quest, I imagine, but eventually would have just quietly moved it to that finger of his own accord.

I also recently wrote a headcanon that post-game, rather than claim and move into the Crimson Palace (Szarr Palace), he gets himself a nice spot in Baldur's Gate where he can live in the apartments above his own perfume shop. He would legitimately just assume Tav was going to live with him, at that point, and put in furniture to accommodate both of them and take into consideration Tav's tastes in his decor choices.

All that is basically my long way of saying that Astarion would basically just marry Tav via Common Law Marriage. Basically everyone just recognizes those two as married even if they didn't have some big solemnized ceremony.

Astarion doesn't believe in any of the gods anyway. Acknowledges they all exist, since they literally do and can be physically seen, but he won't worship any of them ever. So he wouldn't really think it's important to have their relationship solemnized by an outside source as long as they both solemnize it via consent and mutual understanding of the perimeters of their relationship.

He doesn't care how others view their relationship because, to him, his relationship with Tav is strictly between them and no one else's business.

Of course, if Tav ever brought up that they actually wanted an official marriage proposal and a legitimate marriage ceremony with all the bells and whistles, he'd be all for it because:

I. It's a reason for him to dress up and be Extra.

II. It would make Tav happy.

In that case, he would be the most Extra of Extra about it. Not nervous because he already knows the answer would be yes, but nervous because he wants to make sure he does it right in a way his partner would be pleased with. He'd make a whole performance out of it and it'd be this massive grand gesture. Mind you, that doesn't mean it'd be this huge public display with like releasing doves and hiring a troupe of bards or anything, but something elegant that feels expensive and intimately grand.

It'd probably be so Extra that Tav would facepalm, but he'd just remind them that they asked for it and he doesn't go halfsies on things like that because he has standards for the both of them.