#this is also why i don't talk to people very often; i'm either rejected and not responded to outright or i will be eventually

[emiliosandozsequence]

being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually

[psychoticallytrans]

I do wish that "oppositional sexism" was a more commonly known term. It was coined as part of transmisogyny theory, and is defined as the belief that men and women, are distinct, non-overlapping categories that do not share any traits. If gender was a venn diagram, people who believe in oppositional sexism think that "men" and "women" are separate circles that never touch.

The reason I think that it's a useful term is that it helps a lot with articulating exactly why a lot of transphobic people will call a cis man a girl for wearing nail polish, then turn around and call a trans woman a man. Both of those are enforcement of man and woman as non-overlapping social categories. It's also a huge part of homophobia, with many homophobes considering gay people to no longer really belong to their gender because they aren't performing it to their satisfaction.

It's a large part of the reason behind arguments that men and women can't understand each other or be friends, and/or that either men or women are monoliths. If men and women have nothing in common at all, it would be difficult for them to understand each other, and if all men are alike or all women are alike, then it makes sense to treat them all the same. Enforcing this rift is particularly miserable for women and men in close relationships with each other, but is often continued on the basis that "If I'm not a real man/woman, they won't love me anymore."

One common "progressive" form of oppositional sexism is an idea often put as the "divine feminine", that women are special in a way that men will never understand. It's meant to uplift women, but does so in ways that reinforce the idea that men and women are fundamentally different in ways that can never be reconciled or transcended. There's a reason this rhetoric is hugely popular among both tradwifes and radical feminists. It argues that there is something about women that men will never have or know, which is appealing when you are trying to define womanhood in a way that means no man is or ever has been a part of it.

You'll notice that nonbinary people are sharply excluded from the definition. This doesn't mean it doesn't apply to them, it means that oppositional sexism doesn't believe nonbinary people of any kind exist. It's especially rough on multigender people who are both men and women, because the whole idea of it is that men and women are two circles that don't overlap. The idea of them overlapping in one person is fundamentally rejected.

I think it's a very useful term for talking about a lot of the problems that a lot of queer people face when it comes to trying to carve out a place for ourselves in a society that views any deviation from rigid, binary categories as a failure to perform them correctly.

[entryn17]

people can interpret my art however they like and frankly it's not that big a deal but when i made that comic with chara talking to the player about it being its/their/our nature to be curious about undertale i got people calling the player the game's ultimate villain and chara truly innocent. and i heavily disagree with that perspective, especially since in my art i like portraying both as chaotic, complex forces. i don't remember if i've talked about it in more detail here but i guess i'll do it anyways. (for the record before i go on with this - no, i don't think chara is evil or a literal demon.)

undertale intertwines game mechanics with its worldbuilding; it's integral to the story it's trying to tell and how it delivers its messages. often we portray saving, loading, resets and files as very literal and concrete things that exist in that world and while i think that portrayal is correct we seem to sweep the player's involvement under the rug no matter how we interpret the story.

in the first few years of the game's existence the framing of chara as a villain was practically inescapable. that coincided with people firmly rejecting undertale's premise of your choices having consequences when we made shit hit the fan. the player had all the agency in the world until we did something to destroy that world and got called out for it and then suddenly it was chara's fault. nowadays we've moved on from that (thank GOD) but have resorted to pointing the finger to ourselves and while yeah, we do tend to pick through everything with a needle to satiate our undying curiosity, i don't really like how fans tend to portray themselves as the ultimate evil that needs defeating, cause here's the thing

undertale doesn't need a villain. it doesn't really have one either. even if you searched for it.

the game intertwines game mechanics with its worldbuilding and the player is a part of it as well. without us there would be no undertale in a literal and story-wise sense, because we're the force that drives the main events, for whom the mechanics and worldbuilding were created. it's a symbiotic relationship. the game has things for us to do, to see, to try and in return we keep it up and running. it was meant for us and i don't just mean this in a "toby fox made a game for people to play" i'm more approaching this from an in-game, canonical perspective.

the player isn't evil, they/we just are. we're a part of this game.

and chara? well, i think they're a reflection of the player. someone to mirror us and that's why in turn they're also a chaotic force of nature. we name them, they haunt the narrative and we give them a life and finish their story. they aren't evil either. chara is just chara, flawed and complicated. that's it, really.

undertale doesn't have nor need a villain because it's not about "good vs evil". it's about choice and consequence which can be taken in every single direction. i really don't know what else to say

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[everythingblackblack]

Just remembered that Professor Agasa is Jii's inventor friend who helps with Kid's gadgets so Shinichi and Kaito have another connection. It would be hilarious if Shiho/Ai figured it out first because of this, I think Kaito would get along great with her and the Professor.

I've thought about this before.

Jii is a close friend of Agasa, I don't doubt that maybe Agasa even knows that Jii works for KID but chooses to ignore it.

However, we all know how much he cares about Ai, I imagine that at some point they had a conversation about that along the lines of:

"We've been friends for a long time, I know you're a good person, but I also know that you work for KID."

Jii doesn't look at him, he just takes a sip of his drink. They never talk about it, it's a not-so-secret secret between them, Jii always hinted at it, but Agasa never seemed to care. He doesn't think he's going to turn them in, so he waits for him to continue.

"I have a daughter, not biological obviously, she's suffered a lot, bad, very bad people are after her, I'm afraid I won't be able to protect her."

"Do you want him to investigate them?"

"No, it's very dangerous, and I wouldn't put a friend's family in danger for mine, just… if one day that girl comes here without me, do you think they can hide her? She's my family, and I know she'll be perfectly hidden with someone as skilled with disguises as KID."

"Knowing my master, I don't think he'll reject you, and I won't either, however, I'm sure he'll want to meet her."

"I think it would be good to make proper introductions, I want her to know where to go if she needs it." It makes a lot of sense to me that Agasa would want to hide Ai away if things went too bad, and what better place to hide than with someone he has no "relationship" with?

I can see Jii explaining the situation to Kaito, and being the kind person he is, agreeing to help them out. And he's also thrilled at the idea of ​​meeting the inventor of his gadgets! Kaito has so many questions! He might even ask him for suggestions for his card gun and his opinion on it.

In Ai's case, I feel like Agasa makes her a hot drink and they sit alone talking in the middle of the night when Conan isn't around and the kids are in their own homes.

"Why did you need to talk to me alone?"

"I want to introduce you to my bartender friend and his grandson."

"Just me? Why?"

Agasa takes Ai's hands, more to comfort himself than her.

"I may not say it as often as I should, but you are important to me, we don't know what will happen to the organization in the future, so if things get bad enough that I can't stay by your side, I want you to have somewhere to go, I don't want you to be alone again and I'm worried about your safety."

Haibara would stay silent, what Agasa says makes a lot of sense, but she has a lot of thoughts in her head. A part of her feels touched, she never thought she could have a family again, and on the other hand she is worried about the uncertain future that awaits them.

For now, all she can do is give him a hug, he's not a person who usually shows affection, but with the two of them being the only ones there, she gives herself the opportunity to do so.

"Wouldn't it be dangerous for them if that were to happen?"

"My friend's grandson is very good at disguises, I hope that with him they would never be able to find you, and also that almost no one knows my connection with them, it makes it the perfect place to hide."

"You thought a lot about it."

"I want you to be safe."

Kaito immediately recognizes Haibara, and also Agasa, they are friends of Conan.

The first thing Agasa says in this situation is that Ai must not tell Shinichi about this unless this situation becomes too dangerous.

Haibara did not think that the professor's friend would work with KID, nor that the latter would use the professor's inventions, she thinks it is very funny.

While Agasa and Jii talk, Haibara and KID get to know each other.

KID: I'm surprised that you chose to stay, I thought you would leave as soon as you found out who I am.

Haibara: You don't care about my secret, so I don't care about yours.

KID: Don't you think I'm suspicious? That my assistant and I are?

Haibara: You can't expect me to trust you right away, but Professor Agasa does, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but don't expect mercy from me if you end up getting involved in a robbery just because you use his inventions.

KID: Interesting. I like you.

Haibara: I just threatened you, you have weird tastes.

KID: I like people who try to kill me, they make life more fun.

Haibara: You're strange.

KID: Well, trust is something that is built. Here's my number.

Haibara: Is it real?

KID: No, but if we're going to make friends, we need to start somewhere right?

Haibara: I didn't say I wanted to be your friend.

KID: But you said you don't trust me, and from what the brilliant and charming professor said, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you can't go home, you have to find us, so… Why not become friends? I think that way you wouldn't feel awkward and distrustful if that possibility ever came up.

And that's how these two become text friends.

Since Kaito and Haibara have programming skills, I like to think that they design their own app to talk to. I like the headcanon that Kaito has knowledge in chemistry and creates his own smoke bombs, so he asks Haibara for a lot of advice.

She has him listed as "Unpaid Intern" and Kaito as "Labor Slave."

Conan is incredibly curious about her strange online friend, he makes Haibara laugh, she seems happier, he needs to know who can make her laugh out loud with a single message.

However, every time he tries to access the strange app it asks for a password, and he has no idea what it is.

She'd be surprised if she knew it was 1412, and yes, Kaito's is 4869.

Kaito asks her about the antidote, since he's seen Shinichi use it, she tells him that "unlike that reckless fool, he only uses it in serious emergencies", she shyly tells him that she would have liked to go on a date with her, but understands the gravity of her situation, so she apologizes for thinking something stupid.

Haibara tells Kaito about the kids, how dumb Shinichi is, Agasa, the new music she's listening to, the series she watched.

Kaito about his day at school, magic tricks, mentions the Nakamoris, complains about Hakuba and Akako, and asks if it would be too much to use pink glitter for their upcoming heist. I would really like to read a fic (or make it myself, since I'm at it) with their online friends, and if it comes to the point that Ai has to become Shiho once again, Kaito can take her out for a good time for a change.

[kerrikins]

The casting for 4 Minutes, the trailer and the subsequent discourse in the fandom has really reminded me of how far the BL sphere has to go in terms of working past stereotypes and bias. (I'll note here that I actually don't know how much of this has gone on here on Tumblr, I'm mostly talking about what I've seen on Twitter and Tiktok).

From the start it weirded me out to see people say stuff like 'obviously it's JesBible' as soon as the casting was announced. Because like - based on WHAT? Regardless of what turns out to be the case (or what we've seen from the trailer, now), at that point the ONLY thing to go on was stereotypes. Jes is taller and a bit bigger so therefore 'obviously' he's the top, right?

Gross. (And oh, I really need the BL world to give me a show with a big masculine bottom and a shorter top just to see some of these small minds struggle to wrap around the concept, lol.)

Then there's been the absolute obsession with the topic of 'omg is it JesBible or BibleJes' ever since the announcement. I expected it from the fandom, but the extent that it's gone on and then also hearing it from the media as well this week was so off-putting. It's reminded me that people really don't like it when they aren't given immediate confirmation of their biases and pre-defined boxes, and they don't like not being given answers, either.

I'll pause here to say that oh, I so appreciate how both Bible and Jes have handled this. They've both made it clear that it doesn't matter, that it's not relevant. Bible even said at one point that 'BibleJes or JesBible doesn't matter, you should think more about whether it's GreatTyme or TymeGreat', haha. (Also, I just want to say that I agree with what one of my friends on Twitter said - maybe, just maybe, 4 Minutes will be the show where we start rejecting this rigid defining of pairs based on who's supposed to be 'the top' or 'the bottom'? Because personally I think BibleJes and GreatTyme sound a lot better than the other way around, lol.)

Another thing I've seen come up is 'oh it's weird to see Bible being a bottom', 'it's weird to see Bible being submissive'.

Girl, what?

He's an actor. Why would he not play a variety of roles! I never see people say 'oh, it's weird to see ____ play a villain', or at least it isn't something that's been said very often, so why is this coming up here? Again: stereotypes (and a bit of fetishization, probably).

As for submissive - one day people will realize that where body parts are going has nothing to do with submission and the world will be a happier place 😭

This is why I would really like to see BLs incorporate something that I haven't seen much of: switching. Both in terms of changing up what role the actors are playing, but also just straight up acknowledging that not all queer couples stick to rigid top/bottom roles! Of course some do, but some don't, and representation of that might help dispel some of this nonsense.

There's also always a faint whiff of bottom shaming that goes on in these conversations, a view that being a bottom is 'lesser' or 'weaker' and it really bothers me. It's insulting to the actors giving their all to the roles but it's also really insulting to all the queer men out there who are being viewed that way according to sexual preferences. (And that's without even touching on the heavy, heavy whiff of sexism and misogyny attached to all of this, because I'm sure we've all seen people refer to the bottom as 'the wife', etc).

Honestly, it just deepens my admiration for Jes and Bible in taking this on. Jes has already gotten a question about how his lakorn viewers will see him now and I think he fielded that admirably, talking about how he's an actor and he hopes/thinks they'll realize that. There's also a bit of an assumption that lakorn is a 'step up' from BL so I love to see him defying that. He's been very firm on handling the media, too - he had an interview yesterday and TWICE had to shoot them down on the 'BibleJes or JesBible' nonsense.

And of course, Bible, my baby - oh, I admire him in doing this. So many BL acting pairs stick to rigid roles and here he is, in only his second role, being willing to defy those and challenge how the fandom perceives him and take on all the weirdness and hate that he's inevitably going to get through at him. I've already seen some people expressing dismay and saying they can't/don't want to see him in this sort of role, and I'm sure he had to be aware that he was opening himself up to that. I'm so proud that he did it anyway and I hope those people reconsider their notions around top/bottom and their expectation that actors stay in neat little boxes.

And all the above is without even touching on all the delays and the history with 4 Minutes, which already made it a bit messy in the first place.

ANYWAY. I don't really know how to wrap this up, since I'm partly just venting here to get this off my chest. But I really hope that this opens up some conversations in the BL space and creates some change for the better.

[taffywabbit]

I touched on this during a stream last night but like. the thing that's probably really confusing about Mormonism is, if it's so wildly restrictive and puritanical and alienating, why do people actually want to JOIN the religion and claim to like it and feel that it improves their quality of life?

I've talked at length before about how, like any good cult organization, the church weaponizes rejection from outsiders and a deliberate sense of self-perpetuated othering to keep people trapped in the organization and feeling like they can't trust "the world" - they're only safe and understood and accepted within the confines of this very specific and unattractive in-group who have all been messed up in the same ways they are.

but like, as much as the statistics show that Mormons don't actually get many new converts for the amount of money and resources they spend on missionary efforts (and thus have to focus on long-term retention through the above methods, and also compelling their members to have a dozen kids who will grow up Mormon, in order to grow/maintain the church's numbers), some outsiders DO join, and some members who are more resistant to the feelings of isolation DO remain in the church out of a sincere belief that it makes them happier and more fulfilled. so like, what's up with THOSE people? how do they convince themselves this horrible restrictive lifestyle that cuts them off emotionally from the rest of society is what they actually want?

well, I'm sure there are a lot of deeper psychological factors that vary between individuals, but if you think about good old-fashioned Puritans and why THEY were so focused on the constant denial of basic earthly pleasures, you can get a little insight into this. from what I've figured out in the years since I left, a lot of this religion's supposed emotional benefits boil down to moral relativism.

most people want to feel like they're a good person, and some people have a really hard time feeling like they're a good person unless they have someone who is "worse" than them to compare themselves to. a lot of Christianity in general runs on this - the more evangelical or puritanical a sect is, the more you hear them speaking dismissively of outsiders and nonbelievers and heathens, and sometimes even talking about "purity" (ew). Granny Baker down the street could be the sweetest kindest old lady who volunteers at the food bank every Tuesday, but if she's not an avid churchgoer, especially in your particular chosen denomination, then she's still inferior to you in some meaningless intangible way and you get to feel like you're special for doing nothing. that's pretty much it! Christianity for a lot of people is just about getting to feel better about yourself without needing to improve in any actual substantial ways. you read your special book, say your prayers, sit in a church for an hour every week, never ever think any gay thoughts, and boom! you're "righteous" and god loves you, so who cares if Granny Baker thinks you're kind of a judgy asshole.

Mormons, though, take this to the next level. it's ALL about moral escalation, baby. it's not good enough to just do the basic Christian stuff - you need to prove you've joined GOD'S ONE TRUE RELIGION by being even more holy and special than any other Christians, too! they think drinking is frowned upon? well not only do Mormons NEVER drink or smoke or do drugs, they don't drink coffee or tea either! regular Christians go to church for an hour every Sunday? Mormons go for 2-3 hours, plus potentially some extra meetings if they have additional responsibilities in some kind of council or whatever, PLUS all kinds of other shit during the week to make sure they're in the church as often as possible. PLUS adult Mormons are supposed to attend several-hour ordinance sessions at a temple (those bigger fancier pointier churches that nonmembers can't enter, where all the REALLY cult-y looking stuff goes on) as frequently as they're able. regular Christians (if they're kinda old-fashioned) try not to work on Sundays? Mormons aren't supposed to do ANYTHING on Sundays besides church stuff. don't buy things, don't do schoolwork, don't go to the movies, don't listen to music that's "irreverent", etc etc... at EVERY level of this lifestyle your priority is to make sure you're extra special and holy and living a more devoted life than anyone else so you never have to question if they're more kind or benevolent or accepting or, y'know, actually Christlike than you. you follow all your little arbitrary extra rules and thus win a game that nobody else is playing.

something especially funny that non-Mormons may notice is that SOME Mormons take it EVEN FURTHER, too. not content to just do the bare minimum as set forth by the church's many councils of wrinkly businessmen in Utah, they make up ADDITIONAL personal rules for their family to live by, so they can be extra sure they never step anywhere CLOSE to being morally inferior to anyone. this is why you may have met Mormons who also say they don't drink cola or caffeinated soda or any soda at all, or who don't play video games on Sundays, or who not only don't swear but don't even say substitutes like "crap" and "dang it" and "freaking". (hey guess what! I was all of these at one point! my parents gave up on that last one after a while tho lol.)

they'll often tell you these extra house rules are part of their religion too, even though they're technically not in the books anywhere... and in a way they're not wrong, because that IS largely what Mormonism is about on a cultural level. you don't have to care about being homophobic or racist or uncharitable or various other things that come with essentially just being a Utah Republican But As A Religion, because every week you get to go to a place that praises and affirms you for being better and smarter than everyone else by following all the special little secret arbitrary rules that make you Morally Invincible and immune to anyone else's judgment.

so how does this tie into why people find the church interesting and want to join/stay? well of course, a desire to always win your internal comparisons against others goes hand-in-hand with a desire to be privy to secrets and tricks and obscure knowledge that others aren't. it's not just that Mormon beliefs can make you feel righteous - they ALSO make you feel smarter than all the other dumbasses out there who couldn't figure out that literally all you need to do to be happy is Stop Drinking Coffee and also Give 10% Of Your Income To An Organization With A $100 Billion Stock Portfolio. they entice you with the promise of teaching you stuff that everyone else is apparently just too dense to comprehend, and make you feel clever and special for recognizing the Truth. it's not just a social in-group you're being invited into, it's an EXCLUSIVE CLUB full of SECRET KNOWLEDGE with HIGH STANDARDS and only SMART COOL PEOPLE get to join! if you're going through some rough times or your self-esteem is low or you feel vaguely guilty about your life and don't know how to feel better, you are a lot more likely to be ensnared by what they promise you. (trust me! when I was a missionary they literally trained us to ask questions that would help us efficiently target those people!) and then before you know it, you're isolated inside that ecosystem, normal people find you intimidating and weird, it's hard to get back out, and the church won't leave you alone if you do. oops! aren't cults fun?

[wasawattpadkid]

Ok idk if you’d want to write this but like, Billy x Fem reader who like doesn’t shave down there, I feel weird asking for this but I just like don’t see people write about it and it makes me self conscious.

Girl don't feel weird at all! I don't see people write about it either so we're about to change that. Here ya go Hun!💕

Believe me

Pairing: Billy Loomis x fem!reader

Warnings:⚠️smut 18+⚠️ oral fem!receiving, fingering fem!receiving, praise, brief overstimulation

Billy was a patient man. He'd wait as long as you needed him to. However he did worry about you. You weren't one to wait till marriage but you did seem very quick to reject him every time he even mentioned sex. Even a slight brush against your thigh made you jump. Billy didn't want to push you into anything but he also couldn't go much longer without knowing what was wrong.

The sleezy horror movie had ended but you were too busy focusing on the boy on top of you. His lips traveled down your neck as your hands toyed with his hair. Once again he tried his luck by running his hand up your bare thigh. Your eyes opened as you slowly peeled him off you. "Okay." You said awkwardly fixing your nightgown. "Is it me?" He asked running a hand through his hair. This was the one thing you feared. You crossed your legs on the bed as you grabbed his hands. "Oh my god no." Billy just scoffed.

"Then why won't you let me touch you?" It wasn't like there was no sex in your relationship at all. You helped him out quite often but when it came to you however you were distant. He was grateful for what he could get but he wanted to please you. You did so much for him asking nothing in return. "There's something we have to talk about." Billy's heart sunk with fear. All breakups started with a serious conversation.

"I like you I really do." You paused piecing your words together carefully. "You're breaking up with me aren't you?" Your eyes grew wide. "W-what no! Not at all!" He wasn't convinced. He pulled his hands back growing distance like you had so many times before. "I don't shave." You said a little ashamed of the secret. It was a complicated thing. You knew you shouldn't feel bad about something that's natural. Yet every magazine you saw and all of your friends were completely clean shaven. It was an unspoken fact men didn't like "natural" women.

Billy looked at you for a second before laughing. The sound tore your heart to shreds. This was it. When you went back to school Monday you'd be the joke of the whole school. Billy stopped laughing as he saw tears well up in your eyes. "Oh fuck I'm not laughing at you!" He tried to fix his obvious mistake. You could hardly understand what else was funny. "Babe please don't cry." This time he grabbed your hands but you pulled away.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything." You mumbled wiping your eyes. "Y/n. I don't care that you don't shave. That's not why I was laughing." His brain was working overtime trying to figure out how to fix this. "Why were you laughing then?" You asked expecting the worst. Billy didn't even really mean to laugh. The reason behind your abstinence was just absurd to him. "Because the fact you think I care if you shave or not is crazy."

"All guys care. You're saying you wouldn't prefer if I shaved?" It was an honest question. One with a simple answer. "You really think that low of me?" Your relationship was just a month shy of a year. Billy was insulted you hadn't realized he wasn't a prick like the other boys at school. Your silence didn't answer any questions. "I don't care if you dyed it bright pink." You tried not to laugh by pursing your lips. "I'm trying to have a serious talk right now." Billy smiled as you started to laugh. "I'm sorry! You can't just say something like that."

You both laughed making the air in the room more breathable. "Seriously though Y/n I like you. Whether or not you shave is not going to change anything." You wanted to believe him and he wanted to prove it. His lips found yours once again. The kiss being more passionate than the one before. You didn't stop him as his hand slowly lifted the bottom of your nightgown. His lips moved south making sure to leave a mark or two on your neck. Once he was satisfied he pushed the fabric of your nightgown up to show off your underwear. He peppered kisses across your stomach whispering little praises against your skin.

Billy hooked his fingers into the waist band of your panties pulling them down your thighs. Your eyes were shut tight scared of his reaction. His kisses never stopped. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Have I told you that?" He whispered kissing his way down your thighs. Billy had told you that before but never like this. His tone was deep almost raspy. "Have I told you how lucky I am to call you mine everyday?" He smiled looking up at you. The sound of his voice made you melt.

Billy pressed a kiss to your cunt making your breath hitch. He positioned himself between your legs so that your thighs rested on his shoulders. Billy's hands gripped each thigh keeping you still. Slowly he began to lick stripes up your folds just to tease you. Your hands gripped the bed sheets not entirely sure of where to put them. His right hand moved to open you up letting his tongue roam around the space. You couldn't help but grab his hair needing some semblance of control. His lips locked around your clit sucking gently on the sensitive bud. Curses fell from your mouth only further encouraging Billy's movements.

Your boyfriend went back to working his tongue around you. He traced his name over your clit seeing you shake around him. It was a thrilling scene. Your vision started to blur as you pulled at his hair. Words were no use. You couldn't put together a single word let alone a sentence. You just had to hope Billy knew what he was doing. His right hand moved to your entrance where he slid two fingers in with ease. Your sounds were pornographic honestly shocking the man trapped between your thighs.

You said his name over and over like a prayer as that coil buried deep within you tightened. You squeezed around his fingers as you cried out in ecstacy. His fingers pumped in and out as his tongue swept side to side across your clit. You took a deep breath as that coil snapped sending your head back against the pillows. His tongue continued it's assault letting you ride out your orgasm.

"Please.." You whispered as you pulled his hair. Within seconds you became sensitive to the touch. Billy's grin was borderline evil as he stood up at the end of the bed. He licked what he could off his lips as he eyed your almost naked frame. You watched as he grabbed the bottom of his shirt lifting it to wipe his mouth. The happy trail you'd mapped with your tongue many times before was on full display.

"Fuck, you are gorgeous." He rasped as you smiled. He knew the praise worked wonders on you. You were honestly a little mad at yourself for depriving yourself of him for so long. "Now do you believe me?" Billy asked referring to your earlier argument. You squinted your eyes debating on a response. "Maybe." He raised his eyebrows. "Maybe? Well then I guess I'll have to do it till you believe me." He pounced on the bed making you squeak with laughter. It was going to a very good and very long night.

[yousaydisco]

Artist!Harry AU

Another fanfic that I planned out MANY MONTHS AGO and I'm 90% sure I'm never going to fully write

(content warning for depictions of violence)

AU where Harry, at the urging from Dora, quits being a gym teacher and attempts to join the RCM but for whatever reason - maybe he was already struggling with addiction at this point, or maybe he didn't want to join the RCM and deliberately made himself seem unfit for duty, and is rejected from joining the ranks. As a result of the rejection, Dora leaves him at this point and it breaks Harry, either causing him to go further into his addictions or develop them now.

After falling down that hole he attempts to pick himself back up by making art.

After making art for years (a mixture of mediums - paint on canvas, graffito, the rare photographs, making statues out of bottles, etc) and developing a cult following but not a reliable income, he has FINALLY secured a spot in a gallery to showcase his best work. Something that really showcases Revacholian Pride. Unfortunately, in the week of the gallery opening, there is a murder.

Kim, a lieutenant still at the 57th, is sent to investigate the crime and Harry, who is INCREDIBLY eager to get it solved so he can showcase his work and also has the inability to keep his nose out of other people's business, worms his way into helping him. Or he tries, at least, since Kim very much doesn't want to let a 1) a civilian and 2) an active suspect, be a participate in the solving of the crime.

They don't really hit it off at first and not JUST because Harry is trying to do Kim's job - Harry is abrasive, and kind of unsettling, and Kim doesn't care for off-the-wall art like that, but Harry very early on proves himself useful by getting information out of witnesses that Kim knows he couldn't have. Plus Harry knows the area and people very well AND he does end up having an alibi for the night of the murder so Kim, rather reluctantly at first, lets Harry help him. Initially it's just with talking to witnesses but he continues to be impressive so Kim just. Keeps working with him.

Unofficially, of course. It's all under the record.

THE CASE: A woman was found in the back alley that connects to the exit of the art gallery. The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head, but the weird thing was that her hands were severed from the body post-mortem. She was an active artist in the area and had a lot of connections to basically everyone there, including Harry, who she once rejected his proposal to collab on a piece together.

Her specialty was photography and she was going to have a few pieces in the same exhibition that Harry was. She made a photography collage of the hands of various working class people of the area, black and white but she hand painted select colors back onto the cells (specifically red/pinks whenever they show up, like bloody knuckles or capillaries).

The reason that Harry wanted to work with her is because she got an offer to be in the exhibit WAY before he did, and she refused to give him a reason for why she didn't want to collaborate, which is how he was initially a prime suspect.

Harry's alibi is that he was working that night at a local bar which serves as his "real job" (though he doesn't like the term). But he was there all night, multiple co-workers and customers saw him, so: solid alibi.

Harry is like. A natural at a lot of the police work. So much of it comes easy for him. He cites his love of Dick Mullen novels and often during the case he needs to "get into character" and "go method" which Kim finds kind of annoying but holy shit the results cannot be ignored.

Scene: Harry tells Kim that he needs to investigate the apartment of a rival artist, one he doesn't get along with at all, and he doesn't really explain why since his Skills told him they need to. Kim gives a noncommittal answer, because it just sounds like Harry wants to make his enemy a suspect, and he ends up not having the time to check it out anyway. The next day Harry calls him on Kim's personal number - something that Kim rarely gives out for investigations - and continues to press the importance of it. He implies/outright says he will break in himself if Kim doesn't do it the legal way and Kim just. Sighs and agrees to prevent another crime from happening.

When Kim gets there the door is open and no one is there, and when he enters he sees blood all over the carpet but no body, murder weapon, or hands.

Harry gets taken in for questioning, of course, but he's more pleased than angry. Pleased that his gut was correct and he knew what he was talking about. They hold him for the maximum time they can but since they don't actually believe he did anything or have evidence don't arrest him, and all Harry really says is how he doesn't think the rival artist is the murderer and he firmly believes something else is afoot. Very strange, since if the rival artist DID do it, everything is better for Harry.

(This is also where I imagine putting Jean in the story and I think he questioned Harry. They don't know each other but Jean is like, being an asshole to push Harry to confessing something and Harry kind of takes it in stride, but then Jean targets his substance abuse issues and then they start arguing. Harry has enough composure to not punch him, which disappoints Jean since he was trying to like. Force a way to arrest Harry. Doesn't succeed.)

Kim is intrigued by Harry's assurance that the rival artist didn't do it so he investigates this angle right away. Sure enough, the rival artist hasn't been in the country for a week and he came back in with TECHNICALLY enough time to have committed the murder, but it would be incredibly difficult to do so. Kim agrees with Harry that he was likely being framed here.

(Later Harry calls Kim and is like 'WOW I KNEW HE DIDN'T DO IT!' and Kim is like how did you find that out? And Harry just says something cryptic and weird. Probably like "the wind told me." And Kim rolls his eyes and mutters artists.)

After this point Kim tells Harry that he is hiring him onto the case officially as a civilian consultant. Something he has no real authority to do, but Harry is ecstatic anyway.

During the case Harry digs through the dumpster that belongs to the entire apartment complex that she lived in and finds a positive pregnancy test, uncollected and untagged, and he says with certainty that it belonged to the victim. Kim then informs him that the victim was indeed 4 weeks pregnant.

They dig through the gallery archives together and discover that the murdered woman has only ever worked with ONE artist before: Stan Ickloski (a pen name that doesn't help them find the real man). She was a model for his photographs and he has a dedicated cult following with select artists but isn't well known or well received. Even Harry doesn't know who he is.

Also: Harry gets distracted and discovers a new color. Almost everyone who sees it comments that it's rather ugly, except Kim, who initially doesn't comment on it at all and then later will say it's warming up on him. Harry decides to call the color Ambrosius.

The case culminates when they are having a quiet moment talking about art back at the gallery. It's touching - Harry shares information about himself, his struggles, and how he tries to stay strong and Kim cracks himself open and shares some stuff about his childhood and says something sweet like "maybe all this modern art isn't so bad." Eventually Kim steps away to have his cigarette and Harry wants to look at the murdered woman's photographs some more, convinced that they will "say something to him" (Kim thinks its metaphorical but Harry is being very literal)

While Harry is alone looking at the photographs hung in the gallery (at this point the showcase is the next day, hasn't been cancelled, and her photographs are hung with 'in memoriam' under them) and a man stands next to Harry. They start talking, and it turns into the man ranting, and Harry and the audience quickly figure out that this is Stan Ickloski.

Big dramatic conversation where Harry tries to get him to keep talking and explain his whole thing but he fumbles a check and Stan gets really pissed and stabs Harry. But hey! This finally causes Kim to arrive on the scene and arrest him! Harry isn't even pissed about being stabbed he's like "I survived and also caught a killer! All by myself! This cop shit isn't so hard after all!"

(While he was confessing Stan admits that he he was in love with her, she didn't love him but instead was secretly in a relationship with the rival artist and he was the father, and he took her hands as a final fuck you to her. Harry nods his head and just says to Kim "this guy is majorly fucked up, Kim.")

Even though Harry doesn't care about being stabbed Kim cares VERY MUCH and this is where he will realize that like. Hey he might love this crazy weird artist man. Probably shouldn't do anything about it though!

They have the exhibit and Kim stays for him, something he never would have done ever in his life, and he blatantly only cares about Harry's art, but even he admits that he had a good time. And then they separate. Kim goes back home and rests, waiting for the next case, and Harry stays.

It's a very, extremely, horribly lonely One Day before Harry calls Kim on his personal cell phone and is like. Do you believe in fate? Because I think we were meant to meet each other. They have one phone call, admittedly it was rather short and kind of just them promising to stay in each other's lives, and then when they hang up Kim almost immeditedly goes.

Fuck it.

And drives back to where Harry lives. Except he doesn't know Harry's address! It never came up! Anytime he made sure to see Harry off during the case, Harry just wanted to go to his studio for the night. So Kim checks there and Harry is painting something on a huge canvas.

Painting the portrait of a bespeckled man surrounded by orange and engulfed by a halo.

They smooch. THE END

[purplesoulcollection]

Unnatural Love

Part 4 Synopsis : Name has being transmigrated into the world of I'm Not That Kind Of Talent without ever reading the novel. She's not being reincarnated as a human but as a devil as well. Hi There! I want to let you know that this fanfiction story isn't solely my creation. I borrowed the concept from @quqiwo2. I haven't actually read the novel either, just some spoiler to the end.

I hope you'll excuse my spelling and grammar mistake, because English not my first language.

"Mr Demon, if you want to resign from the position of commander of troop 0, will you side with the humans, Mr Demon?" I asked him after I heard the news that he submitted his resignation to the demon king but being rejected.

"Isn't it natural that I side with humans. Am I human too?"

Instead of answering my question, he instead asked me back.

"Normally that's the case, but if that's true, it means you want to make the devil your enemy. That's really a very risky thing, even for you, who are famous for your cruelty.”

But instead of realizing his dangerous choice, he asked, "Are you worried about me?"

Why is he asking something so obvious?

Obviously I'm worried about him. If you look at humans against demons at a glance, you will immediately know that it will be humans who will lose, unless there is a mysterious power on the human side.

Is that Mr Demon that's superhuman? Or is he actually not even a real person anymore?

"Mr. Demon, are you really human? Your emotional sense is completely numb." I commented honestly towards him.

But he actually argued back.

"In fact, I should be the one asking whether you are a devil or a human."

"Ohoho, Mr. Demon could be joking around. Isn't Mr. Demon going to go fight against Demon monsters soon?"

"Adele..." he buried his face in his hands, looking like he was offended that I brought that up.

"Do you feel burdened even though you are still not healthy?"

"...Yes"

Mr. Demon looks gloomy about the situation. Is his body really not fit for fighting???

But like it or not, the Mr. demon still has to go. There was no way he would refuse the Demon King's orders.

What is my best effort to help the Mr. demon so that he gets better?

"Then do you want a massage?"

"Massage, what is that?"

Is there no such thing as massage in this world?

"Ah, have nobles never had a massage? To explain the massage, I will press the sore parts of your body with oil. Usually the body will feel comfortable and fresh."

"But then don't I have to take off my clothes so that the oil can seep into my body?" He spoke like that shyly.

Why is he embarrassed, instead of me being the one who should be embarrassed?

"This is just for health. It's not sexual at all. Besides, Mr. Demon is stronger than me, how could I be anything."

There's no other choice. Finally the demon lord took off his clothes and lay down.

Drool....

This is the first time I've seen a guy's nice body. Muscular and quite manly.

But...

Mr. Demon has many scars on his body. And it left its mark everywhere.

Seeing those many scars made me sympathize with him.

It turns out that his former struggles are no joke.

Mr. Demon who saw my gaze responded "it's sad isn't it, this body full of ugly scars."

He said that with a face that was ashamed of his own body.

"It's not embarrassing. That's proof of your struggle to survive. You still surviving until now is proof that you are strong!" I strongly reject his gloomy comment.

The many scars meant his life was often in danger. Imagining that the Mr Demon, who is just a human, is constantly in danger, makes me feel sorry for him.

"You talk too much. Do you often praise people?"

"Of course not. The only person I talk to a lot is you..."

After I said that, I also felt embarrassed. So I changed the subject.

"I'll start." I started pressing his back.

"Urngh" groaned Mr. Demon, I don't think he's the type of person who is suitable for massage. Because there are people who are not suitable for that.

"Mr demon, do you want the massage to be harder or is this enough? I'm worried that your body won't be able to handle the massage."

"More... "

Ok, he asked for more, but considering his pale skin. I don't think he should overdo it too much. So I'm just going to increase the pressure a little bit.

"Urgh"

I reflexively stopped. It's not good to continue, "Are you in pain?"

“N-no. I'm fine.”

"It seems like you are very sensitive to massage. Do you like the massage?"

"... Like it"

The funny thing is that he answered it slowly and looked away. Doesn't he want to admit that he feels good?

Usually tsundere people are like this because there is trauma in the past. It's really hard to handle one of the main characters of the novel, isn't it?

I tried to comfort him my best without offending him. But I didn't continue the massage. He is too sensitive for massage.

Even though he is a good man, he is not cruel like the rumors. But the situation forced this man to be cruel.

I hope that whatever fate this demon lord has to endure can satisfy him in the end.

And also I hope my luck is also good.

Mr Demon was injured!

That was the news that circulated when troop zero returned from their combat journey.

I, who is Mr. Demon's servant, can only enter Mr. Demon's room after Doctor Ben has finished treating Mr. Demon.

Both Mr. Ed and Doctor Ben had their faces gloomy and very annoyed. They just ordered me to continue guarding Mr. Demons as long as he doesn't wake up.

I, who was left with the unconscious Mr. Demon, could only daydream while looking at Mr. Demon's condition.

Even though Mr Demon wasn't covered in bandages, if he hadn't woken up until now, wouldn't that mean he was seriously injured?

Was he hit so badly that he didn't even realize it?

Will he die? That's not possible. If so, Doctor Ben will definitely not leave Mr. Demon here alone.

But I have nothing to do apart from sitting quietly, just looking at Mr. Demon lying down makes me bored.

Then without realizing it, I played with the demon's hair.

Indeed, according to initial impressions, her hair is very smooth. Maybe because he is a nobleman, his whole body is taken care of.

While I was playing with his hair, Mr. Demon suddenly opened his eyes. His face looked annoyed because he was disturbed.

“Mr Demon, you are awake.”

The Mr Demon's face, which was initially annoyed, turned soft. I think I turned on his survival instinct switch.

I feel guilty...

I immediately withdrew my hand, because I knew I had been rude. But Mr. Demon grabbed my hand and put it in his hair.

"Aren't you angry with me?"

"Even if I'm angry, it's already happened. It's better to continue."

Mr. Demon's eyes flickered so slowly. It looked like he would fall asleep any minute.

"Sorry I woke you up. Please sleep well again."

"Keep going until I wake up!" That was his last command before he fell asleep.

Of course that's impossible. At least I'll let it go after I'm sure you're asleep.

But for now I'll keep stroking it

To be continued

[yolowritter]

In Defense of Chloe Bourgeois Part 1: Who is Chloe?

Well...shit, here we go again! Hello there everyone, welcome back to the source of my endless exasperation! Before any of you pick a side to the argument, I want to make it perfectly clear that this isn't a post about whether or not Chloe should have had a redemption arc. This is not my point, and any argument for either side have been repeated so many times by now that I can recite most by memory. So, let's begin by establishing why exactly I'm even writing this post!

Chloe Bourgeois is one of my favorite characters in Miraculous Ladybug. The...the fanon version, obviously. Canon can go keel over in an alleyway, it already has more holes in it than the average swiss cheese. I've been a part of this fandom for a good few years now, and at the time of watching Miracle Queen was understandably upset at the...direction, that her character was taken. It left a sour taste in my mouth because I honestly didn't see it coming, but I'll get more into that later. Point is, I was once a defender of Chloe's redemption arc. I am not stating if I am or not still one of those at present, because that's not what the point is. Regardless of what side of the fence you're on, we can all agree that her character was horribly mismanaged in the latter half of this show. Erratic, extreme and oftentimes illogical choices that sound stupider than Lila's average gaslighting scheme, and a character who previously had an arc going for her now being defined only by the sheer inconsistency that writhes every moment she's on-screen. I'll be honest, I no longer particularly care if Chloe "should" have been redeemed or not, because either avenue could have allowed for some brilliant (or at the very least pretty decent) storytelling.

This defense strives not to strip anyone of their arguments, nor to challenge anyone's headcanons, or make a point about what the "correct" way to handle Chloe's character should have been. Again, I lost interest in the debate a long time ago. I'm simply here to examine who Chloe is as a person, what drives her, what her life experiences have been like, and where all this could logically lead from both a writing and human perspective. I care about Chloe as a person, and about a character who if nothing else, at least acts consistently, in a way where the audience can watch them and understand why they're acting like this. I'll be trying to give context to some of her actions and fill in as many plot holes as I can, as well as giving a glimpse as to how a possible Redemption or Corruption Arc could have gone. So without any further ado, let's dive right in!

Firstly, let's start by laying out some common ground. After the Gabriel Agreste post, I think it's necessary to establish some clear lines as to what exactly we're talking about here. So before anything else, let's look at what we learn about Chloe in Season 1, yeah? Without going episode-by-episode, we generally don't get a good impression of her. Chloe is clearly spoiled by her father, used to always getting her way, and has no problem pressuring others into making that happen. She treats her classmates more like annoyances if not outright minions (Sabrina and on occasion Kim), has little consideration for other people's feelings, and likes appearing superior to everyone else. A pretty bad start, all things considered. She bosses Sabrina around, and we're explicitly told that Chloe often bribes her with her second-hand stuff, or whatever she wants to get rid of. Sabrina clearly doesn't know how to stand up for herself, and Chloe seems perfectly willing to take advantage of her doormat status. She also has the roots for a sweet sweet superiority complex firmly planted, considering how she rejects and humiliates Kim when he tries to confess his love to her. I'll be damned if I ever understand such bad taste, considering how Chloe is generally disliked by the rest of the class, but the point stands. She could have just told him no, even rudely if need be, and left it at that. Instead, she actively chose to humiliate the poor guy. Something similar happened with Nathaniel, whose feelings about Marinette she made public to everyone else for what seems to be entertainment value.

All in all, Season 1 Chloe has all the stereotypical makings of a popular girl from a 2010s American high school movie, including the narcissism, bullying, strong-arming school staff into not punishing these behaviors, inflated ego, and the complimentary minion! Except...Chloe isn't popular. With anyone, actually. Most of the class dislikes and barely puts up with her on a good day. They don't laugh along or jeer at whomever she's giving trouble to. Instead we have several instances where people actively try to either push the teachers into doing something or remove her from a situation where Chloe is causing problems. Think about the filming scenes in Horrificator for example. Chloe is acting like her usual self again, and refuses to allow Marinette to be the lead actress because she'll get to kiss Adrien. A tragedy, I know! Therefore, there's a whole plot to get her out of the room long enough for the scene to happen. People actively consider her at the very least a pain in the rear, and probably someone they just don't even want to talk to.

Obviously this isn't an excuse for anything she does. My point here is that from the perspective of the narrative, even while acting the part of a "Queen B", Chloe reaps none of the benefits, and in fact only serves to make people dislike her more with every episode that passes by. Even Adrien, who I'll circle back to in a second, her childhood friend who has a good opinion of her when he first comes to school, eventually stops trying to defend Chloe's behavior. There are, I think, a lot of reasons as to why she acts this way. Precisely none of them are an excuse or a "get out of jail" free card. Chloe still chooses to behave the way she does, regardless of the motivations.

About Adrien, we know that he and Chloe have known each other for a long while now. She was quite possibly his singular friend during his otherwise relatively isolating childhood, and she's very clearly attached to him. Chloe constantly clings to Adrien and drapes herself over him, and while he seems to find it annoying, there's still never a sense of disgust like with Lila in later Seasons. She's being suffocating, but there is never a connotation of romance here. Still, Chloe does everything she can to keep Adrien close to her, and (in Origins) "teach him how things are" in school. She's the one who got him signed up as a student in the first place, mind you, so she very clearly wants him to be around her. And while Chloe does brag about him being a famous model, she could just...do that without ever actually bringing Adrien out of the house? Clearly that's not the reason why she went through all the trouble to actually get him in the class, because bragging about it would probably go worse if she did it in front of him, or in an environment where Adrien could easily hear about and react to it. Chloe is very possessive of her "best friend" (and only friend, discounting Sabrina), and constantly belittles Marinette for trying to get close to him. Mind you, she doesn't find out about her feelings for Adrien until Season 3 I think. We never see Nino get bullied for befriending him, so what gives?

I'll talk about reasoning later down the line. For now, let's move onto Season 2. Amidst the beginnings of Ladybug handing out Miraculous jewels like candy to her best pals, seriously Season 4 overdid it, Chloe also exists. And during Despair Bear, Adrien finally puts his foot down about her behavior. He tells her that he can't be friends with someone who acts like a bully, and Chloe is genuinely hurt by this, to the point where she does her best to put on a good show and convince Adrien that is capable of not being an ass. Which is actually the case, believe it or not. She holds back the snides, does her best to make casual conversation with the people she considers to be inferior to her (I'll get to that, don't worry), and makes a real effort to keep at it for the sake of their friendship. The reason why she blows up here is made very obvious by the episode itself. Chloe is in unfamiliar territory and clearly reining herself in a lot, which Despair Bear pokes fun of in several back-to-back scenes. She doesn't want to do this, clearly has mutual dislike for the people she's forced to put up with every day and has made up her mind about a long time ago, for the sake of the one person she considers a genuine friend. And mind you, Chloe never uses Adrien for something. She brags about his job in Origins, and preens about their friendship often, but she never takes advantage of him like she does Sabrina. I will get to their toxic friendship in a minute, don't worry, but Chloe chooses not to try doing this with him. Adrien is...oblivious, to put it nicely, and she could easily try and play around that to serve her own goals, but she doesn't. Keep this in mind.

Anyway, she blows up because Armand (also c'mon, if you wanted to make the joke that Chloe doesn't know her butler's name, Jean "insert today's last name" was more than enough, Thomas) keeps lugging her teddy bear and playing pretend with her in a room full of people. I'm sorry, but that may be the most relatable Chloe moment in the whole show. Are you kidding me??? Of course she'd be embarrassed by this! I mean sure, her reaction to the situation is wrong, she shouldn't have screamed at him or threatened the man's job, but Chloe has serious anger management issues. That is obvious, because she acts like this every single day! Why would Armand do this??? She's already way out of her comfort zone by even hosting the party in the first place, surely there's easier ways of reminding Chloe not to be a bitch? Just tap her on the shoulder and say "miss, remember Adrien?" because that's the whole reason this is happening! The teddy bear is completely unecessary! Especially the voice acting! It made me laugh so hard when I first watched that episode but can you blame Chloe for being pissed? Again, she reacted poorly because her self control is comparable to Plagg's when there's camambert in his field of vision! So yeah, it's wrong to scream people's ears off like that, but she was also upset. And she's fourteen mind you!

Anyway, my actual point about Season 2 is that we get to see Chloe's character development. Thank Nooroo, finally a proper arc in this damn show! And we also get to see her family life. Side note, Andre Bourgeois is a spineless coward who I'll be bashing momentarily. But Chloe's mother is horrible! Audrey Bourgeois is blatantly neglectful, if not abusive to her daughter! She treats Chloe the same way Chloe treats everyone else! As disposable, expendable things that don't "deserve" her attention because they're not good enough. Like, if this doesn't give a six year old some hefty trauma along with an inferiority complex, what will??? And the situation becomes even worse as Chloe becomes incresingly desperate during Style Queen, trying again and again to please Audrey by copying her behavior (which she's been doing this whole time) even more intensly, and acting like the entitled, self-absorbed narcissist that her mother is! And this is where we see exactly why Chloe does what she does! Again, none of this excuses her actions, but it does help us understand the behavior. Audrey constantly puts Chloe down and belittles her the same way she does to Marinette...only to later pick the kid that Chloe is jealous of (I will explain this in a second!) to come with her to New York, where Audrey had presumably yeeted herself off to years ago and never bothered to come visit! We already know that she pressured her husband into giving up his love for film to stay with her, maybe even during her pregnancy or after Chloe's birth. Only to promptly vanish and leave him (a person who never grew a spine or managed to stand up to what is undoubtebly a toxic relationship) with her miniature copy. It's obvious that Chloe's barely ever seen Audrey, but she idolizes the woman because that's her mother! Heck, Adrien idolizes Emilie even if she was arguably not a great person (see here) and Chloe is always kicked to the curb for just doing the same!

Audrey is a horrible person and an even worse role model, but when you're five years old and she disappears from your life, is it any wonder that there's a steaming hot pile of mommy issues here? If Chloe has been told by Audrey from the moment she was old enough to understand words that she isn't "exceptional" enough to "deserve" her time, then isn't it obvious why Andre tries and fails to make up for this by always coddling his daughter and giving in to her every whim? He's trying to please her and give Chloe a sense of self-importance that Audrey made near-impossible to develop, and also makes up for his own absence by basically bribing his own child! Not that Andre is innocent in this! If anything, he's even more at fault than Audrey! Because while she flew off into the sunset to fire her twenty-seventh unpaid intern of the week, he was still in Paris with Chloe! Who grew up with him, mind you! And sure, he got elected into office and had a busy job as a single parent! You know what else he did? Crime! Almost everything he does in this damn show is completely illegal! Bribery, blackmail, undue termination of Roger's position as a police officer, who Andre doesn't even have juristiction over mind you (because Paris had the National Police until like 2021-ish if I recall correctly), he's just a corrupt, scummy politian whose ideas (see Megaleech) are harmful to the people he's supposed to be serving and outright motivated by greed! And also, we are explicitly told that he taught Chloe to do these same things! Andre Bourgeois is a total idiot who's probably been committing tax evasion for all we know, and Audrey is a self-absorbed diva who bullies her own child constantly, when she even bothers to go see her! Which is never, unless she needs to be in Paris for some other event related to her job!

Thomas, what the heck do you mean Chloe is evil? Lila is an accomplice to a domestic terrorist, and a psychopath against whom the only protection is the show's PG rating! If Lila could, she'd burn Marinette's house down for shits and giggles my good man! Audrey is everything I just mentioned, Andrey is a corrupt, spineless politician, Tomoe physically abuses her daughter with fucking katanas on the daily, Gabriel Agreste is that domestic terrorist who almost fired every nuclear warhear in the USA by the way! Because that was stupid of the NYC special to do! But he still did it! Plus the genocide in Shanghai! Accident or not, Hawkmoth is still responsible! And later on he also put his son in a room! A rubber room! Thankfully there weren't any rats, as if he needs another OSHA violation! Are you people insane when you say "I don't know why Chloe acts like this"? Have you lost your marbles??? Do you want me to have an aneurysm? Of course a child is going to act the way Chloe does if this is the shit she's been dealing with since Day 0 of her life! Does that make it okay? Absolutely not! But does it mean that she deserved what happened to her canonically? Also no! I'll talk about how the corruption arc could have worked at the end, because they tried and failed to do that, so let's circle back to the "jealous of Marinette" thing from a minute ago, kay?

Note: We're doing this in part 2 because this is closing in on 3k words already. The whole rant is done, no you don't want to know how long it is, I'm just splitting it because nobody will ever read 7.5k words worth of anything on Tumblr dot com.

< next post >

[doberbutts]

I saw someone claim that the reason some trans men turn to talking about transandrophobia (with of course the underlying implication that that's a bad thing) is because they're former terfs who have had their terfy social circles turn against them after coming out as transmasc and that's why they now believe that "men are oppressed" and so on.

I find this to be an odd rationalization that I don't really buy, but do you know if this is actually a common lived experience?

I mean. I have yet to poll every single trans masc talking about whatever word of the day we're calling our problems? I am literally Just Some Guy and I am also very much not the trans masc police.

But I don't think it's that common. I also don't think this was asked in good faith, but I'm answering it like it was anyway. It's just not really an appropriate thing to ask someone, and especially not when you consider that it doesn't really matter either way.

Like, yeah, any former beliefs you may have had may influence the way you theorize in the current moment, that's not an untrue statement. It's also really toeing the line on the same logic that terfs use that say trans women will never be rid of their "male socialization". It's pretty much the gender swapped version of "trans women that talk about transmisogyny are actually former incels" which is also just not an appropriate thing to say to or about someone.

Personally I don't think it's that weird that transgender people of any and all genders are positioned well to discuss the ways gendered oppression hurts us. Many trans people have experiences with being treated as multiple genders, sometimes simultaneously, and mostly to harm us. Discussing the ways that gender can be both sword and shield is often just a discussion of lived experiences. No radical beliefs necessary.

I also personally don't think that it's very prison abolition website of you to imply that someone having problematic beliefs, behavior, or social groupings in the past means everything they think of is now tainted beyond repair. I thought we wanted rehabilitation, not forever punishment?

I never called myself a terf, and the singular friend I had that did become a terf was kicked out of our mutual friend group for their shitty beliefs and was never invited back. I've always rejected radical feminism in all of its forms because I don't think it's kind or fair to blame entire demographics for systemic issues, nor do I think entire demographics are somehow incapable of causing harm along systemic lines just because they also experience that systemic oppression.

I may not have known the correct words for the label at the time, but I have always been a black, intersectional feminist. From the time I learned what "transgender" was, I have always been trans-friendly. Even before I figured myself out. So this rational not only doesn't work with me, but it also is pretty offensive all around.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i don't design my grandpa a tattoo of his dead mom I never met?

I (20 M) and my grandpa (50s? M) have a pretty good relationship. We don't talk very often because he lives in a different state, but we see each other a few times a year when he visits town. Our relationship has grown pretty shallow because of how little we interact with each other, as we haven't had any deep conversations or interactions since I was about 14 when he moved out of state.

Due to this, he still pretty much sees me exactly how he did when I was around the ages of 7-10 as this was when he was in my life the most. I've been actively going by another name since age 13, he knows, but he refuses to call me my name (despite it literally being my legal middle name that he's always known and used to call me it before I decided to reject my legal first name). He's sat me down in private telling me he would never call me my chosen name because it's too hard for him to remember. I'm kind of bitter to him towards this and am allowing our relationship to become more shallow. I'm trans and I know he'll never see me as a man, because he basically sees me as a 10 year old girl and no matter what I do he won't respect my identity. I don't think he like...believes in trans people but we've never had a direct conversation about it.

Now heres the actual situation: a week before father's day, he messages me on facebook at midnight asking me to design him a tattoo alongside my cousin (25 M) who is in a complete other state and is also kinda shallow towards him due to being closeted as bi and my grandpa being homophobic to mlm (he's ok with lesbians bc my cousins mom is one and she's the favorite child lol). he wanted a tribute tattoo dedicated to my dead great grandmother that I never met and don't care about at all. This is completely out of my scope of artistic skill as I mostly draw suggestive art of thick anthro women and I don't want to make a tribute tattoo for someone i never met? Considering how porn-y my style is I think it would be disrespectful to do it as well. Also I was high as fuck when he messaged me. I don't know why I did, but I agreed to do it and then asked my cousin to do it, despite him also never meeting her. He agreed to handle it. Weeks pass

A week or so ago, my grandpa came in town and the first thing he said to me is "Hey girl! Where's my tattoo?" and I was instantly uncomfortable but i just shrugged it off and made a joke and it didn't come up for a while. It turns out my cousin didn't draw the tattoo either, but I don't blame him too much ngl. The whole week he was in town, he kept bugging me about doing this tattoo for him and I kept shrugging him off. My mom, who actually knew the lady, made a tattoo design and it was really clever and personalized and well thought-out, but he rejected it because it wasn't my cousin or I who designed it.

I never plan on making it. Should I just do it to get it over with?

What are these acronyms?

[eemamminy-art]

I've been sitting on a fic that I finally finished after slowly picking at it for the last two years.

I feel like people don't really talk about this anxiety around sharing things-- I mean, there is always that anxiety of like, is it good, will people like it, stuff like that, but I guess for me the anxiety's a little different. Don't get me wrong I do have the other anxiety too, I'm very self critical and I do not have confidence in my writing in the same way that I (occasionally) have confidence in my art.

But the thing that's got me in a chokehold is well, that fanfic is complicated for me.

I barely read any fic at all. I barely write either, but I think a lot of writers will only put out a couple of things in a year anyway, but they're at least reading things during that time.

I've never been much for reading. Well, maybe when I was very young and just learning to read, but at some point it became really difficult for me. I don't have any official diagnosis and I always got good grades so there was never any cause to look into it, but reading has always been such an ordeal for me. I'll read a page and get so distracted in outside noises or my own thoughts that I have no idea what I just read. I have to concentrate really deeply for anything to sink in, create a voice in my head to read it to me, and even that sometimes doesn't work and I'm really slow. I use a screen reader and that does help but it still takes immense concentration for me.

Then there's just well, my pickiness. If it's boring or out of character, well that just makes it all the more difficult to focus. Too long and the screen reader's voice begins to drone and I tune it out and my thoughts wander away even as I scan the words going by. If it's not tagged well and I run into my trigger (which is often not tagged for at all) then I not only feel like I wasted my time but also am upset and lingering on the trigger for sometimes hours, sometimes days.

So then, what to do when I post a fic? What justification is there for anyone to bother with mine when I won't bother with theirs? Whether my reasons are good enough or not, whether it's easier for them to read than it is for me, whether you say fandom is give and take or not, I feel like I'm not upholding my end of the deal. You read mine, I read yours. Except I don't, other than maybe a handful of things each year.

And I know it's a problem. I know it makes people feel slighted. It's the same way I feel slighted when I try to engage with other artists and they don't give me the time of day or share my art in return, and then I begin to resent them for the rejection. I'm certain the same thing happens to me with fanfic, that I have all these reasons for why I rarely read fic, and then when I read the 2 or 3 fics that I can manage each year, it's a slap in the face to those who weren't among those rare few.

So I feel held back by it. I'm so bad at responding to ao3 comments too because I feel guilt about it, about not participating in the way everyone else does. So I was excited to finally think of an ending to this fic only to just... do nothing with it.

I have to wonder if anyone else experiences this? Or something similar? Or knows at all what I mean?

[akajustmerry]

Hello. Can I respectfully ask you as someone who's from a country where we don't know or talk much about lgbt+ identities, why so many female born people identify as nonbinary instead of saying 'I'm a woman but I don't fit into nor do I want to fit into traditional gender roles/expectations'? Sorry if I said something not politically correct and you don't even have to answer this question but I'd appreciate if you did because I'm trying to understand this as a feminist lesbian woman and as someone who's speaking a language that doesn't have gendered pronouns and is very confused about all of this. It feels a bit like people rejecting their womanhood which is understandable but very sad to me as I've always found tomboys/butches/gender-confonforming women absolute badasses. I know being nonbinary has something to do with not feeling like a woman but I have never felt like a woman either... it's just something I am. I understand that some people have gender dysphoria. Is that the case with nonbinary people too?

hello ❤️ I'll start by saying that I can't speak for all nonbinary people, nor am I an expert in queer gender studies. I'm just speaking from my experience as a nonbinary person who grew up assigned female.

so, the simplest answer to the question of why assigned female people come out as nonbinary instead of living as butch/gnc women is because they are not women. similarly, if you asked a trans man why he wants to live as a man instead of living as a masculine woman, the answer is also because he is not a woman. in another way, it's like asking a lesbian why they won't just be with feminine men, the answer is because they're a lesbian.

non-binary people, whether assigned male or assigned female, have lots of reasons why we come out as nonbinary. many nonbinary people do experience dysphoria and many medically transition, and there are also many who don't do either. it's important to remember that being nonbinary isn't only a feeling. yes, many people feel alienated from their assigned gender, but most people still identify with it. trans people don't. you say that a woman is something you just are, well, being nonbinary is also something people just are and it's different for every nonbinary person. someone coming out as nonbinary is not purely a rejection but also embracing a way of existing.

in English, the most commonly used pronouns are gendered and so much of the language is gendered. Nonbinary people who primarily speak English often struggle to be acknowledged with accurate language reflective of who we are. So, for English speaking nonbinary people, insisting on non-gendered language is a fight for recognition, instead of normal.

Nonbinary isn't one identity, it's an umbrella term for trans people who don't identify as men or women. Some people are nonbinary because they aren't traditionally their assigned gender. Some people come out as nonbinary because of spiritual or cultural reasons. Some people come out as nonbinary because of their relationship to their sexuality. Some people come out as nonbinary on their way to becoming trans men or trans women. Some people are nonbinary because they simply don't want to be anything else. That's a key part of it too. Being nonbinary isn't about what you aren't, it's about what you want.

Speaking for myself, I realised I was nonbinary because I was just me. I didn't want to be a man or a woman, I wanted to just be me and that's how I felt my whole life. I used to as a kid make up stories about being an alien and tell everyone I was an alien right up until I was 14 and looking back I feel like this was me trying to communicate how I felt so outside of what I was meant to and I loved it.

Speaking also only for myself, I don't "reject" being a woman. I understand that is a part of me, but I consider it a part of my gender in the way that eggs go into a cake, it's one ingredient, not the meal. No one calls cake "eggs". You can argue a cake is eggs in the same way you can argue a nonbinary person is their assigned gender. Or to put it another way, it's like arguing that glass is sand.

I want to warn you that making the argument that nonbinary people who were assigned female are sad women who reject womanhood is an argument frequently made by transphobic people who try to make their bigotry sound like feminism. be very careful. In truth, feminism has always been about achieving equity for people of all genders, including trans people. you do not have to understand every trans person's gender to respect them.

hope this answers your questions ❤️

[i-heart-hxh]

Hiiii! You're probably absolutely sick of these asks by now regarding the leaked ending, but as a relatively new fan, I have a possibly dumb question: what is the point of them revealing this scrapped ending? Just to get fans up in arms? Like obviously it's not being used, hence it's no good, but then what's the point of revealing it to us when the real ending is seemingly so far away? I personally feel it would make more sense, after the series actually ends, to say "well, here's all the other endings we considered! Haha glad we didn't use these!" and then it would be more lighthearted. Idk, it makes me ill at ease, but I'm more confused than anything?

I'm still trying to process what to do with this information as well, and discussing it with people and explaining what I think about it helps, so I'm definitely not sick of talking about it for now! It'll probably take me a while to reach that point, though I may need to space it out with other topics after a bit, haha.

So, I'm sure the main reason Togashi revealed this rejected ending is to leave his fans with something in case he dies suddenly or is otherwise incapacitated. While (as far as we know) his health issues don't seem to be life-threatening, they do seem to be excruciatingly painful, and after the sudden death of Kentaro Miura (the author of Berserk, an extremely famous and well-regarded manga) a few years ago, many people started discussing Togashi's health and the very real possibility he'll never get to finish HxH.

I think the bind he was put in was that he doesn't want to reveal how he plans to end the series or even give us good hints/insight into what he has planned, so he's providing this rejected ending as last resort option--just anything people can look at and say, "Well, at least we have one idea of how it could have gone," (at one point, anyway) if it comes down to it. As I've said in other posts, I think this ending fits a bunch of criteria that are delicate to balance, and so if he wants to provide something, this is all he can give us. Because this is an epilogue that's disconnected from the main plot and reveals essentially nothing, and because he doesn't plan to use it (or anything like it, I'm guessing), it's "safe" to put out there. That's probably why it's clichéd and boring, he can't give us anything juicy without putting himself in a tough situation writing-wise.

There is in fact a lot of uncertainty about whether Togashi will be able to finish HxH--the current arc is tremendously complex, Togashi goes on long hiatuses for his health often, who knows how much more of the series he has planned. The current arc is ambitious, to say the least. Togashi himself has said he doesn't know if he or HxH will perish first, but he still has things he wants to explore in it.

While I don't like this rejected ending he released at all, I do think it comes from his concern for his fans and guilt at his slow progress in the manga, and fear that he won't actually be able to finish. So, he wanted to leave something, anything, while still keeping as many of his writing avenues open as he can and not tipping his hand to any elements that are still in play. For instance, I think he didn't include Killua at all because he knows there's a lot of suspense among the audience about whether he and Gon will reunite, so by leaving him out, that's still completely ambiguous. Same with no Kurapika--will Kurapika live or not? Well, if he doesn't appear and just vaguely describes "this character's relative," etc., there's no hints about the outcome of that, either.

While I would have preferred he reveal other potential endings after the end of the series, like you said, he sadly may not ever have that luxury.

I haven't seen anyone else say this, but I'm also sure the letter itself and this reveal are PR--the last round of Puzzle, the Togashi Exhibition, just opened in Fukuoka the other day, and releasing this shocking ending now is guaranteed to generate buzz and publicity. So, that's an additional factor to keep in mind! I'm sure the timing isn't a coincidence.

I hope that answers some of your questions! It's an odd turn of events, but I think I at least understand the reasoning behind the reveal, if not all the choices made in the rejected ending itself.