#this is actually me realizing I don't watch many shows that make it past 5 seasons

[ardbar]

You know. Noobs aren't really expected to last very long. Every time we see one that isn't Evbo, they never last long. We watch at least 5 of them die. Who knows how many Evbo has watched die. They probably aren't expected to last more than a few weeks.

And who would waste resources teaching things to people who will be dead in a few weeks anyways? Who would even teach them things? The Pros? The pros would Never, even if it was their Daily Task they would likely just sneer at the Noobs and call them stupid.

It makes me wonder. How many things are considered Common Knowledge that Evbo simply doesn't know even exist? How many things does he do that everyone else would consider him Utterly Insane for that were just... normal on the Nood Level?

EMF catches him using a bucket of water and bar of soap to wash his clothes instead of a washing machine and just thinks he likes doing it the old fashioned way. Shades Pro sees Evbo counting on his Fingers, only after 5 he's speaking jibberish. Shades decides he misheard him or Evbo is fucking with him. Seawatt finds him picking grass blades off a grass block and turns away with a roll of his eyes, not seeing Evbo stuff the fistful of grass into his mouth. He says that even reading is parkour because that's how he refers to all things he's never seen before (and 90% of the time is Correct in this assumption) and EMF and Seawatt think he's just making a joke.

And no one helps him because they don't know he needs help. They don't know that he can't read or write, he doesn't know numbers past 5 and ended up making up names for them, doesn't understand any sort of machine, even unable to understand how furnaces work really, as they had them on noob level but had no fuel for them, he eats grass blades because sometimes... sometimes Pros would "forget" to deliver some meat to his house, or he would be late and not get any, or sometimes the hunger would just get To Bad. Does he even know what a callender is? Evbo has no idea any of these actions are incorrect or that there's things he should learn.

After all, how can he possibly ask for the answers to a question he does not know exists?

Wait I actually love this. I've also believe that Evbo just wouldn't know as much as everyone else because as you said the Noob level just has no infrastructure. Like to your point about him saying even reading is parkour, he specifically mentions he only started to learn it after becoming the champion. This really goes to show how the noob layer just wasn't cared about. However this has always made me question some things, what exactly is the point of the noob level if ranking up is impossible. The master level is obviously a parallel for the wealthy elite, which would make the pro level something around the working class, following this type of logic the noob's would be like the lower class and menial labor. However, the noobs don't actually do anything. While we didn't spend too much time in the noob level all we really saw was that they have to do their daily parkour for food and then as long as they follow the rules they have no other tasks. Do they just exist to keep the pro class busy, to make the pros not realize they are still at the bottom of the social hierarchy?

Personally I think it would be cool if that was why the Noob layer is so underdeveloped and as you said not well educated. The noobs were only a means to an end. I think it would make sense that the Pro level has the biggest population since they aren't prone to dying like the noobs and because they do most of the jobs. Because they have the biggest population and thus a decent amount of sway the champion keeps the noobs around to make the pro's antagonize them instead of trying to rebel against the masters and him. By keeping most of the conflict between the pros and noobs he has effectively prolonged his society.

The noob's exist as an example that things could always be worse. That while the pros need to work to get time to practice parkour they at least have food, they at least have nice homes, they are safe as long as the noobs exist.

Personally I think it would be really fun wrote a fic about various things Evbo does and everyone else just looks at him like, "how are you alive right now?"

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Stormlight Fights...That DON'T Involve Kaladin

I wanted to do an overall “top fights” list but I found that were all, uh, just Kaladin. So Kaladin’s best fights will be saved for a future post, probably, but for now--let’s give some love for those epic fights that DON’T involve our most dramatic hero.

[SPOILERS FOR ALL OF STORMLIGHT ARCHIVES!]

10: Adolin (and Renarin!) vs. the Thunderclast [Oathbringer]

This one makes the Top 10 for me mostly because of how cool it must have been in theory...although tragically we never do actually get to see Renarin fight the Thunderclast. I mean, Adolin's part is still very cool--gotta love the one guy without Radiant powers nevertheless trying to fight a giant stone monster from ages past. And then Renarin comes and defeats it off-screen, and that is cool enough to make this list even though we don't see it.

#9: Moash vs. Leshwi [Oathbringer]

This is such a short fight, and it probably wouldn't make the Top 10 for most people...but I thought it was cool. We have Moash facing off against a Fused--one of the first Fused we ever see--with a Shardblade, only to realize that he can't beat her with that weapon, so he grabs a simple spear instead (my heart!). Then he gets lashed to the sky...but pulls her with him and stabs her in the chest. And so he kills her, and Lewshi being Leshwi, she's like, "Okay. You're legit and I like you." So kind of a cool character-building moment for both of them!

#8: Adolin & Dalinar & Elhokar vs. the Chasmfiend [Way of Kings]

This fight didn't do it for me one a first read, because frankly I didn't care that much about the Dalinar chapters in Book 1 because I was always waiting to get back to Kaladin. But upon a reread and a re-reread, I liked it much more! Like so many early fights in Way of Kings, it felt like a sort of tutorial for how the powers work, here focusing on how Shardblades and Chasmfiends Work. You get to see Adolin & Dalinar work well together despite their conflicts, and you get to see Elhokar being, well, Elhokar.

#7: Adolin’s Duels [Words of Radiance]

Except for the last one, to keep this ranking Kaladin-free! But Adolin's pre-Whitespine-Uncaged duels were also very legit. Adolin is a great swordsman, and that makes him fun to watch (well, read about). And I loved the way that he had a different way to mess with his opponent in every duel, from unhinged battery to slowly picking apart the other guy's armor. It's great to see someone good at dueling get to do what they're best at.

#6: Szeth vs. an entire party [Way of Kings]

I'm referring to when Szeth assassinated King Hanavanar of Jah Keved...while the guy was holding a big dinner party. And while this scene is a little painful to read, since Szeth slaughters everyone while crying, if memory serves, you gotta be a little impressed by the way Szeth is able to kill an entire room of people, many of whom are armed with Shardblades or half-shards. At one point he even tosses his sword away and goes hand-to-hand with people holding deadly weapons and just slaughters them all, no problem. That guy is frightening good at murder.

#5: Navani vs. Raboniel vs. Moash [Rhythm of War]

Some fights are cool because they involve visually stunning moves or epic swordplay. Some are cool because they rip my heart into a million pieces. This is one of the latter! Navani killing Raboniel is gut-wrenchingly tragic but also so cool (the Fused are impossible to kill and yet, Navani does it)...and then Moash shows up. The confrontation between Moash and Navani was an emotional beat I didn't know I needed until it was happening...and listen, I am SUCH a sucker for self-sacrifice. Raboniel grabbing Moash to let Navani escape, even after Navani killed her? I'll never be over it.

#4: Szeth vs. Gavilar [Way of Kings]

I mean, this one is a true classic. It's the first fight we see, and serves as a basic tutorial on how stormlight and Shardblades work. We have Szeth in the opening of Way of King, going to assassinate Gavilar. He lashes people and things left and right. He's on the ceiling and the walls. He's burning souls and cutting holes in the building. He's desperately fighting Gavilar in what is probably Gavilar's only cool scene in all of the books. It's just classic.

#3: Shallan vs. An Entire Army [Oathbringer]

I'm not sure this would make a "Top Fights" list for very many people, but it is one of my personal favorites. This refers to the Battle of Thaylen Field (yes, Kaladin is in the background but that doesn't count as involvement), when Shallan, Veil, & Radiant summon hordes of alters to distract the Odium-crazed army. Not only does she fend off an entire army single-handedly (holy shit, Shallan), but she does so despite the fact that it is her being killed over and over again in thousands of forms. The image of her, Radiant, and Veil holding hands as she struggles to stay conscious is incredibly powerful to me. And Jasnah goes to help! A+ fight.

#2: Adolin & Maya vs. the Tukari [Rhythm of War]

This is one of my all-time favorite fights. It takes place in Shadesmar, when Adolin runs to help Notum who is being stabbed and beaten by a group of Tukari, Not only is it a heroic fight against grossly mismatched odds, which I always love, but it also demonstrates the bond between Maya & Adolin. And when the two of them fight back to back using the kata... *chef's kiss*

#1: Dalinar vs. Odium [Oathbringer]

I'm aware that Kaladin is, like, in the background here, but the actual conflict between Dalinar & Odium does not involve him. And this isn't a physical fight--there's no clashing of Shardblades or running on the ceiling--but damn if this fight doesn't hit hard. Dalinar fights with a book and with his whole soul, and he refuses to give up his pain or to absolve himself of the guilt of what he's done. This might be one of the most powerful moments in any book, so it gets the top spot here!

What are your guys' favorite non-Kaladin fights? Let me know in the comments, if you want!

[maybe-boys-do-love]

So far, Kidnap the series, is BL-ing in all the right ways. It's light fare, but that's exactly what it aims for, and its hitting near the bullseye every episode. Just because its light doesn't mean its bad. Consider this my plea to everyone--for the sake of romance, BLs, and Thai BLs in particular--to stop equating dramatic naturalism with 'good' art. Kidnap is silly, sweet, and such a throwback to classic BLs--it's already hit most of the BL tropes. More importantly, Kidnap understands a major 'why' of BLs and light fare, and the series, itself, is depicting that 'why': they can give an overwhelming sense of reparation for queer people's buried traumas.

On the podcast Boys Love Boys Love, hosts and gay married couple Adam and RJ have been recapping their first watch of ITSAY (which very much broke open many traditions of the BL genre) with guests. In all three recaps so far, the guests and hosts have detailed vividly how, despite feeling 'proud' of their sexuality, BL shows allowed them to revisit painful experiences of isolation and abandonment in adolescence that occurred because of homophobia and then re-imagine an adolescence in which they weren't constantly on guard but instead experienced genuine adult care, friendship, and uninhibited explorations of first love. BL shows and their happy endings help queer people process griefs we don't realize we've suppressed.

I see a parallel to this experience in Kidnap as Min aids Q in coping with his acute PTSD, especially in the play acting scenes. Q can safely engage with his past experience and gain a sense of control and compassion over what he couldn't manage originally. Because I'm a performance dork at heart, the context of Ohm, the 'king of BLs,' leading Leng, an entirely green actor, within the show and through the actual process of acting in BLs doubles down on the theme. With each clear-from-outer-space romance beat, the show promises that this is a safe place to be vulnerable.

In the latest episode (episode 5), the series even began to reveal plot-relevance to its BL levity. We've all joked about Min's incompetency with all the crime he's been drawn into. After the first episode, the people on the internet chucked it up to a cheesy show disinterested in researching and committing to the realities of crime, but then James walked in the next week and called him out on it all. It was just Min, not the show. His exuberant care and desperation to please has led him, unsurprisingly, into a web of deception with no way out.

Brother Mhen laid it flat out this week: just because Min takes care of him doesn't mean he doesn't also provide kinds of care for his brother. Min, like any human-being, has his own weaknesses and issues of self-worth, and Q, with his savvy and prerogative of self-preservation learned from his upbringing, is positioned perfectly to provide the care and encouragement Min needs. I don't think the show has invited this comparison as directly, but it does make me think about how we figure the lighter BL shows and people like Ohm, a particularly evocative representative for creators in the industry, who endure controversies and vitriol to bring their best attempts to lighten the burdens of audiences.

For all the intense feelings ITSAY or The Eight Sense or The On1y One produced in me, I can recognize that their 'cinematic' style, with its naturalistic performances and precise camera work, is still just a style. It's not inherently better than shows recorded on sound-stages with more theatrical performance styles, though many critics and scholars have trained us to think that way. I Love Lucy, The Golden Girls, and shows like them are undeniably celebrated series that have no interest in approaching cinematic style.

Stable cameras, broader characters, and more absurd situations allow for subversive problems to be broached and tackled (and laughed at) while maintaining audience comfort. The slapstick and screwball comedy is one of the things I've adored about Thai BLs, in particular. The audience can feel for but not with the characters. And, that healthy distance is not to be diminished. Comfort can be a vitally important aesthetic experience, and the rules for judging genres that prioritize it are very different than those used for judging prestige tv and *poetic cinema.*

Too much realism would be detrimental to an action rom-com like Kidnap because the audience would no longer feel safe to laugh and coo about these characters in their situation. Although GMMTV is leaning more into its cinematography for BLs recently with this series and The Trainee (maybe toss Moonlight Chicken in there), I personally appreciate how they've maintained the genre's unpretentious sentimental tone, even as they've allowed creators to expand the breadth of the genre and address its problems. That tonal lightness allows us, in Kidnap, to safely dive into PTSD and perhaps our own experiences as queer adolescents with parents who left us unseen as we suffered alone; we trust the show will leave us and the characters resolved in the end.

But I don't want to mistake that kind of depth as the main point of BLs. Those are the undercurrents but we're meant to have fun here. You don't pull-up Miss Congeniality on your TV to understand the human condition. We like these characters, feel safe to open up our hearts, and trust, even as threats of death loom, queer love will conquer all.

[skynapple]

Rafayel Into The Canvas: Analysis **Spoilers**

Long analysis ahead!! I've tried to break it into chronological chunks!

TL;DR - Sky rambles about Rafayel for a very long time.

I never know when he like, plans his coincidental showing-up-where-she-is things because... they really could be coincidental but I think maybe we're meant to think they're not. But the disappointment here is my weakness. Quality time is one of my love languages so like, the showing up for her and then actually being discontent with not having her time is what's really endearing to me. There's a lot of moments I really enjoy how obvious Rafayel makes it that he wants nothing more than to be around her and share the same space as her.

Then, he knows, right? He knew what she was going to say, he asked anyway, just in case, and just to acknowledge that and make it known to her.

Then ok omg 🥺 his voice.

He gets quiet, and soft, and like he's clearly trying to reassure her, in spite of what he's feeling. Just... the way he knows how she is. He knows how she gets. I could CRY.

Honestly MC really does want to, also. Like you can tell she doesn't want to let him down. That moment of not wanting to say she can't but not knowing if she can agree is sooo real. And then he captures that sentiment immediately, and in so many short words tells her like, 'Hey, I get it. I'll be here for you.' and all without saying that outright but. I used to hate how much he doesn't seem to communicate with her -and yeah he has his secrets- but the more I play this game the more I kinda realize he's the one who's allegedly 'had' her the longest over all the lifetimes so far,* so more than anyone he really speaks her language well.

*Sidenote: Cause current!Zayne doesn't know about any of his other lives with her, and Xavier although he's also spent multiple lifetimes with her... admittedly a lot of their 'long' lives weren't spent together in earnest, in their past lives there has always been a bit of a wall between them. Sylus I'd say comes maybe closest to seemingly not having their barrier but we don't know enough of his lore yet (although from what I've played through it does seem like he also speaks MC very well).

MOVING ALONG.

~5 Days Later~

I WHEEZEDDD

Leave it to Rafayel to bribe a child into making sure she finds him again. Honestly, there's some hidden messages here.

MC acknowledged she's nearly forgotten already that Rafayel said to call her. I'm sure he anticipated that (sadly 😭). And also, maybe that she'd be... directionally challenged in a brand new town? And if he's busy with the painting lessons, he probably wouldn't have been able to get on the phone and try to guide her that way himself or, maybe knew GPS wouldn't have good reception? Anyway he's SO thoughtful.

We're seeing here also Rafayel's unexpectedly very good with kids. But... maybe he's really keen on giving kids the treatment he never got as a child? Kids want to be acknowledged and taken seriously, and be dealt with patiently, and want space to let their creativity soar. Who knows how much of that he got in his childhood.

I love his "teacher" mode and it's exactly his fault for saying "paint wherever you like." Please I would have ABSOLUTELY done the same.

And he does it right back to her but like, also I couldn't help but think of God of the Tides? As a couple, did they also spend time painting their markings on each other? I wonder if it was attendants who did it for them. Was it everyday or was it some kind of water tattoo? I digress. I still think it might've sparked some memories for him.

And she proceeds to stare at him like half the time, really in awe. Same.

It's just a very, very sweet moment. There's something really special about watching someone you love do something they're really passionate about.

This is immediately becoming my favorite Rafayel card (I want to say not because I'm an artist but I'd be lying). Just the admiration they both clearly have for each other. Also, she really gets it, I think now more than ever, just how much she means to him, and also, how much he means to her. These tender moments are just as special and intimate as any physical ones, and sometimes even more so.

It's sooooo soft.

His little blush when he realized he was being stared at took me out alskdhslkg sir please have you looked in a mirror? He's so pretty when he's focused.

What got me also is him saying he'd just wait for her. Of course he kind of "teases" that she promised she'd meet up with him when she clearly didn't, but knew they'd meet up eventually if he waited long enough. This is a constant theme with these two.

Her not necessarily being willing or able to make promises to him, and him just waiting for her to fulfill these unspoken promises anyway. Either because of his love and determination, he knows or is just hopeless enough to think fate be damned, it'll happen anyway.

There's an interesting translation difference. The English "translation" that's captioned says this:

But it was either the voice actors or voice directors choice to change the spoken dialogue. What's actually spoken is this:

And I like the decision because it takes the "no big deal" out of it, which I think gets to the heart of the message and the character more.

As a voice director one of the most difficult things working with translation teams is trying to capture the essence of the story. It's not always about translating word for word, it's - ok, what's going to get this very specific point across to the audience?

Maybe it's not a big deal to Rafayel, or maybe he would say that –because he has waited so long to be physically in her presence the past few centuries already– but it's more impactful that the point is just:

No matter how long he has to wait, he will always wait a bit longer for her, because she means that much to him.

Then of course there's more playful banter, and allusion to a few things. Using the kids as a slight analogy. She did miss Rafayel.

I think it's sweet too how much she honestly does think of him in earnest, she's just not the best at explaining or expressing this. Again, her saving grace is he does speak her language and understands her.

Sometimes I think a lot about why MC is ... like that, and you know I always have to remember like... she was probably always trying to be tough as a kid? Who knows how often "grandma" was actually home, and having a "brother" kinda makes you tougher as a person. She grew up constantly not wanting people to worry about her, and it's really clear in all her routes and stories she has always struggled to express exactly what she means... mostly also because this is her "first" relationship of this nature. And there's always a huge learning curve in navigating communication like this in your first serious relationship. But... she's trying. And she's relying less on him picking up what she's putting down.

I know MC is meant to be "you" in the story but as for me, I like to imagine she probably had a sheepish grin on her face when she mentioned they lantern she made, it probably made it even easier for him to clock what she was thinking about. And even if he already planned on "gifting" it to himself, I feel his bright wide grin is probably just him realizing, 'Really? She would have gifted it to me anyway?' Because as much as you think you know someone, sometimes they find ways to surprise you anyways. You can literally hear in his voice how like,,, excited he gets.

And she's not even really embarrassed, it's heartwarming, and she laughs at her painting skills.

We get more MC continuity here!

I can't fault her for not saying like "I hope I get to spend more time with Rafayel" cause lollll as much as we wish, like, I dunno!! In that moment wouldn't you also be thinking of something like your family or your overall future?

For MC though, this is just one of her strings of continuity. She is very work and 'world peace' focused. It's in all of her routes with every LI. It's not that she doesn't love her S/O, this is just how and who she is. It's not like Rafayel isn't included in that ''healthy, happy life" she mentions.

I see it occasionally in discourse (occasionally from newer players where less lore is accessible) people immediately fault MC for not putting the boys first so... verbally, the way they do. But to me, she doesn't need to. To me, this is her way of doing so. She wants to work hard so everyone can live more peacefully, him and her included, and I think that's sweet. And I think Rafayel gets it.... even though you can tell there's a smidge in him that wishes too that she'd just outright say she wants more of his time too 😆 but, again, I think he gets it.

And then of course there's his wish, too. There's so much to unpack here. And it goes beyond him "getting it" he's... so immediately supportive. He wants to be with her every step of the way along her dreams.

You just know he's going to find ways to continue running into her. But less superficially, again, this is him saying he covets just being in the same space with her.

And then of course the ever-so-subtle lore mentions. Even if he can't be with her necessarily, he's always going to wait for her to come to him (even if she can't or won't because she doesn't remember-- but he knows she will, when she does remember).

All in all there's just this huge boost in trust between them and enjoyment of the mundane intimacy between them. He's not whiny, or pushy, he's patient, and she isn't standoffish, or embarrassed, she genuinely wants to just sit in that peace and space with him. They've grown a lot and it's very, very sweet to see.

[milkybonya]

need to talk ☆ juyeon

! : very suggestive,,,, i.e. making out,,, heh, idk word count but its v long definitely +1k

#: roommate!au, gn reader, ft. bestie Haknyeon, dance major!Juyeon

[💌: this was in my drafts for a while and then i got the sudden urge to finish it,, heh,, also i started the taxi driver drama with my friends just to see hyunwook oops]

"you don't have secret little makeout sessions with roommates you hate, y/n," Haknyeon tells you as he munches on your study snacks.

"and that's the problem. what the hell are we, then?" you ask your friend, who keeps stealing your food.

you and Juyeon moved into the same student house as freshman. he was quiet but polite, saying a quick 'hello' each time he'd see you in the kitchen or on his way in/out of the house. you were the same, too flooded with deadlines and the high school to university adjustment to be able to get past small talk.

also, Juyeon was just intimidating. despite always smiling at you so warmly, his attractive features and toned muscles that you sometimes spied on when he wore t-shirts were too... perfect. he was like a movie star and you didn't dare to get close to him...

until one fateful day.

you had an online exam to take, and the professor required students to take it either somewhere on campus (a designated exam room) or in a closed-off bedroom so you could show, with your webcam, that you were alone and had no way to cheat. you had rushed home after class because you wanted to take the exam in your room so you could secretly cheat, but realized you had accidentally handed your room keys instead of your house keys to your best friend just earlier.

"hey Hak, take these house keys and pick up a houseplant i bought from the student centre later and drop it off at mine? please? i won't be home at the time they told me to pick it up," you explained, pouting.

Hak had taken the keys with a sigh, immediately agreeing.

you wished he'd argued with you so you wouldn't be stuck out of your own bedroom right now.

"hey, everything okay?" Juyeon asked as he joined you in the kitchen. he poured himself a glass of water.

watching him attractively gulp it down, you had a thought.

"could i borrow your room for something?" you asked, checking the time above the stove.

10 minutes until the exam.

you quickly explained to Juyeon that you were locked out of your room, and without a moment of hesitation, he tidied up his room for you and took out his own laptop so he could study in the kitchen while you used his room. thanks to that, you were able to start and finish your exam on time.

once you were done and closed your laptop in relief, you were finally able to feel all the emotions your stress had suppressed. shock and gratefulness for Juyeon's sudden agreement to your request were just two, but as you looked around his room, you were filled with curiosity. who was this roommate of yours who had so many dancing awards? there was even a guitar, and you wondered if it was just for show or if he actually played it.

beside it, there was a notebook open to a random page. you didn't look on purpose, of course, but it just happened to be in your line of vision as you packed up your things.

11:04am - saw them grabbing something from the fridge.

5:26pm - they came home as i was leaving to go on a walk. they told me it was cold and to take a jacket with me.

3:53am - i think they're struggling to sleep. i can hear them watching a show. i hope they're okay.

the more you read, the more you realized all these entries were about you. why was he writing down all the times he saw you?

knock. knock. knock.

"is everything okay? are you done the exam?" Juyeon whispered outside the door, in case you might still be writing.

you scrambled to get away from the notebook as you pushed open his bedroom door, also pushing Juyeon in the process.

"my bad! i didn't know you were behind the door," you apologized.

Juyeon waved away your worries and asked how the exam went.

"good, good! maybe your room just has good luck."

Juyeon shook his head and said, "if it did, i wouldn't be failing two of my classes."

"what classes? you're failing?" you asked in shock.

"yeah.. they're some annoying electives," he said with a sigh.

"maybe we could study for them together?" you suggested after a brief silence.

"are you taking those classes, too?"

"no, but we can still study together! do you have time later today?"

"yeah, where should we study?"

"let's stay here. it's freezing out today!" you said, already shivering at the thought of having to step outside again.

Juyeon laughed and nodded in agreement. his smile was gorgeous, almost blinding.

"oh! someone named.. Hak? dropped off a plant before you got here. he told me to give it to you," Juyeon explained before handing you the plant.

"oh, great! thank you so much."

you held the plant in your hands, turning it and admiring it.

"is Hak a friend of yours, or?" Juyeon asked, cautiously.

"a friend. a really annoying one who actually did me a favour for once by bringing this plant," you told the tall boy with a grin.

Juyeon nodded and let you take the plant to your room.

-

after spending the next few hours wondering what the hell that notebook in Juyeon's room had been about, your thoughts were interrupted by hin knocking at your door.

"are you ready to study together now?" he asked.

you opened the door and told him that the kitchen bar table is the best place to study.

"easy access to study snacks and not so easy access to the tv... minimal distractions!" you cheered.

you didn't catch the way he chuckled at you and whispered that you were quite the distraction.

nonetheless, the two of you set down your things and got cracking. every so often, you would ask each other a question, even though you were studying completely different things. it was still helpful to think things through with someone else!

after just over two hours, though, the two of you were getting tired and hungry. Juyeon stretched beside you, lazy running his fingers through his dark hair.

"how does pizza sound?" he asked, already pulling out his phone.

"scrumptious!" you said, making him laugh.

as you waited for the pizza, you realized it actually didn't take much to make Juyeon laugh like that. he was constantly flashing you his teeth each time you said something, and you didn't know if you were a comedian or if he was just being nice.

"you're so funny, y/n," he said at one point, grasping onto the back of your chair for support as he laughed. you could feel his slender fingers against your back.

you cocked your head to one side. "am i?" you asked.

he nodded.

ding dong.

"pizza!" you cheered, running to the door.

Juyeon followed behind you and watched as you paid the pizza delivery person with the cash that you and Juyeon had put together.

you struggled to sort out the change while holding the pizza box, so Juyeon came forward to take the box from you, pressing his chest against your back during the process.

your breath hitched in your throat.

was he being really touchy or were you just sensitive?

the two of you opted to eat on the couch, turning on something random as you munched away. Juyeon brought over some alcohol and you also had your beverage of choice, and soon the two of you were talking about some intimate topics.

"i saw a guitar and dancing awards in your room... assuming from your elective, you must be some kind of arts major?" you asked.

Juyeon nodded. "dance is my major, i minor in guitar. music.. performing.. i love it a lot."

"you're so cool for that," you said, chewing on your pizza.

"i think you're cool," Juyeon replied.

when you looked at him, he was looking straight at you, a sincere smile on his lips. you were taken aback. then, you were reminded of the notebook in his room. you wanted to ask, but that would mean he'd know you were snooping around his room.

"what are you thinking about?" he asked.

the way he was sat on the couch in that white t-shirt, clinging onto his skin for dear life, showed all the curves and shadows of his muscles. you gulped unconsciously.

"um... just... things," you said.

"do you like plants, by the way?" he asked.

you appreciated the way he noticed you were uncomfortable with his question, so he changed the topic.

"i do! i have a whole collection in my room, wanna see?" you asked.

"definitely! wait let's clean up first, though. if Eric comes home to this mess, he'll kill us."

you laughed at how true Juyeon's comment was, and rushed to tidy things up. the way Juyeon neatly put the leftover pizza into reusabel containers for you both, labelled them with your names, and put them in the fridge was adorable. it made your heart swell.

"okay, now let's see those plants of yours," Juyeon said.

you felt a bit shy showing him your room, so you carefully watched his reaction as he looked around. he was smiling and scanning the place, as if trying to memorize it.

when you pointed to the plants by your window, he immediately broke into another one of his pretty grins.

"the pots have faces on them!" he noticed.

"of course they do! and they have names," you said, sharing the names of your plants with Juyeon. you had painted faces on them to give them character.

"oh my gosh, do you have a diary for your plants?" you heard him say, picking up the mini notebook where you document how your plants are doing.

"wha--no! give it back!" you whined, reaching for it.

of course, the boy was too tall. he watched in anusement as you struggled to reach for his hands. he had been so sweet and considerate before, why was he suddenly teasing you?!

then, you got an idea. you climbed onto your bed and reached for your notebook from there... but his grip on it was so strong that you ended up pulling the notebook and him towards you. and that's how you ended up with Juyeon on top of you, on your bed.

you expected him to roll off immediately, face red and scratching the back of his neck while apologizing. but he stayed there. he stayed, hands on either side of you, chest almost touching yours and faces just inches apart. your hearts raced. he scanned your face. his eyes went to your lips, then back up. lips, then back up.

he cleared his throat. "can i kiss you?"

your eyes widened. why did he want to kiss you? and why did you say yes? but you did.. and suddenly you felt a glimpse of heaven. his lips were warm, soft, and tasted not even like pizza but like strawberries... it was the gloss on his lips. he was wearing strawberry gloss!

now you weren't a pro kisser or anything but somehow.. his movements matched yours so well. and you felt so many butterflies that you were glad you were laying down, or else you would've fallen over.

once he pulled away, you watched his eyelids flutter open.

"w-was that okay?" he asked.

"yeah," you said while nodding.

"did i make you uncomfortable?" he asked. why was he being the sweetest damn man--

"not really," you replied. he nodded, sitting up and also helping you up.

now his face was red and he was scratching the back of his neck. "i'm sorry i took your plant journal. i just thought it was really cute."

"it's okay... um, i have an important call to make," you lied. "would you mind giving me some space?"

"sure!" Juyeon agreed. "don't forget about your pizza in the fridge."

he gently closed the door behind him and you fell back onto your bed, knowing you wouldn't be able to sleep that night. that kiss would be on replay in your brain.

-

after that night, you weren't purposely avoiding Juyeon. you just... felt shy and flustered whenever you saw him. he'd try to talk to you and you'd run away.

then, he managed to trap you.

"y/n, we need to talk," he said, placing both around around you on the fridge doors just as you were about to open them.

you turned, being met with his chest. you looked up to find an intense look on his face.

"okay.. let's talk," you said.

"are you avoiding me?" he asked.

"no."

he squinted his eyes.

"maybe... it's not on purpose, i swear! it just happened automatically!"

he sighed. "gosh, are you scared of me? did i.. traumatize you? y/n, i'm so sorry, even though i asked for your permission that wasn't right. i just--"

oh my god. why were you kissing him again? you didn't know. somehow at some point you just.. grabbed his cheeks and leaned in. and he was kissing back. and oh my god there were those butterflies again. your knees starting feeling weak, so Juyeon had to wrap an arm around your waist.

when you pulled away, you immediately started apologizing, but Juyeon silenced you with another kiss. he eyes on you made you melt... and you ran away. again.

and the next day, that's how you ended up meeting with Haknyeon at a café to tell him that Juyeon, a roommate you hate, has been kissing you. having makeout sessions with you. why did you lie and say you hated Juyeon? maybe it was to cover up the fact that you were very much starting to like him. you were a little ashamed because all it took was a few kisses and one study session.

"this is either an enemies to lovers or friends with benefits. but you're not friends?" Haknyeon said, sipping his drink.

"okay.. actually i don't hate him. maybe i'm starting to like him," you finally confessed.

"oh my god, okay. so now we just need to figure out if he likes you too, or if this is just some... friends with benefits? thing," he said.

you also told Haknyeon about Juyeon's notebook, and he said that you should definitely find a way to ask about it.

"go into his room for something and then grab the notebook out of curiosity or something. see what happens!"

so now, you had a plan. no more running away.

-

when you got back home, Juyeon was in his room. his door was slightly opened and you could see his back as he sat at his desk. you sucked in a deep breath through your teeth and slowly made your way towards him, trying to think of what to say.

"Juyeon, can i come in?" you asked at the door.

you couldn't see the way his face immediately lit up as he heard your voice. he turned to you with a more serious look, gesturing for you to come in.

"what's up?" he asked.

you sat on his bed and saw the notebook at the end of his bed, sitting on a dresser. almost naturally, you reached it for, Juyeon's hand quickly meeting yours to stop you. he took the notebook for himself, clutching onto it tightly.

"i asked what's up, y/n."

"oh, um.. honestly, nothing. i just.. wanted to come in."

Juyeon's expression softened. he turned the notebook in his large hands.

"well... you're here."

"what's that, though?" you asked, pointing to the notebook.

"this?" he asked in return, holding it up.

"it's... inspiration for songs for one of my electives."

was he keeping tabs on you in there to write songs about you?

"can i see?" you asked.

Juyeon shook his head, his hair wooshing around.

you pouted and Juyeon sighed.

"you'll.. think it's weird because... it's filled with things about you," he confessed.

"huh?" you were taken aback by his honesty. and even more taken aback when he handed you the notebook.

his face was dusted red and he looked shy as he motioned for you to look through it.

"okay, y/n. i'll just be honest, because it wasn't right of me to.. come onto you without making my feelings clear. i may have had a slight crush on you for a while, now. and these feelings kept developing and after studying with you i realized i really like you. it's all moving so fast, i know, but.. that's how i feel. i wanted to write a song for you and use that to confess but.. i guess that'll have to wait," he explained with a smile.

what followed was silence, and you decided to break it by being just as honest as Juyeon, since he deserved it.

"Juyeon.. i think.. no, i'm pretty sure i'm starting to like you, too. and i'm sorry for being so bad at acknowledging these feelings, too."

Juyeon smiled down into his lap, glad that you weren't weirded out by the boy or anything. he carefully reached of for one of your hands. "can i take you out on a proper date sometime, then?"

you nodded. "let's call it a study date but do everything except for study!"

Juyeon laughed and you fluttered. yep, you were definitely falling for your roommate.

[totaltrauma]

Hi! My name is Wyatt Sheppard, and I'm the writer & illustrator of Total Trauma Comic. (However, I do get lots of help with backgrounds and other assets from my wonderful fiance, @apple-scrumper!)

I'm a part of a system. I'm exceptionally close with my fellow alter Judith (Jude), who I often refer to as my sister. We sometimes work together on projects, like SHINE which we have collaborated on, and a novel we're currently writing together.

I am 27, and I use neopronouns (pri/prin/prinself — pronounced pree/prihn/prihnself). They/them pronouns are also okay to use. I went to college for Creative Writing, and while I love making comics, my real dream is to write novels.

I have currently finished Total Trauma Volume 1, and am working on Volume 2. I have also finished "Heather, Rewritten," a prequel novella. I am currently working on SHINE alongside Jude, as well as WTF4 (World Tour Final Four), another prequel novella. I also completed the Total Trauma Tarot Deck, which can be bought here. A couple of years ago, I made a comic called Triplings, a diary webcomic about me and my siblings.

I've been making content in the Total Drama fandom since I was 17, and I was just a baby alter. As a baby alter, I was desperate for some sense of identity, and I found that in the fictionkin community. (If you don't know what fictionkin is, do me a favor and don't look it up.) All that is to say, I latched on hard to Heather from T/otal D/rama. I started writing about her, and wrote "Heather's Lament," a lengthy fanfic that would (many years) later be polished into "Heather Rewritten." I started to come up with my own personal "canon" for the series, and I spent 5 years bursting at the seams with information about it, until finally, one fateful day I decided to start a comic.

I had actually kind of grown away from T/otal D/rama at that point in my life. I had latched onto a new obsession to spend all of my time thinking and writing about. But I got this idea in my head that I wanted to make comics. I was watching an artist, Jacob Andrews, draw a comic on youtube, and I thought to myself "Man, I would love to make comics." Then I realized that nothing was stopping me.

T/otal D/rama is what I knew how to draw, so, T/otal D/rama it was. (Well, technically what I do is edit the pages together... More about that below.) I blew the dust off my old established "canon," and made the first page. I had had the story of Volume 1, especially the plot surrounding Duncan, living in my head for the past 5 years. It was a lot of fun to revisit that story, and to rediscover my love for this franchise.

I use a program called Paint.NET — I do not recommend it. You could easily do the same thing I do in photoshop, procreate, or whatever you might have access too. Paint.NET is simply free and familiar to me.

I go about making the art for Total Trauma by first editing together screenshots from the show, then tracing over it. Example given below.

It's super easy to do using nothing but the line tool. The only real trick to it is learning how and where to vary your lineweight.

[svetaofbelinsk]

Supernatural Episode Reactions up to S1E19

Episode 1: Sam and Dean look like babies, probably because I'm used to seeing them in more recent seasons.

Episode 2: I thought that not really showing the creature that much was an interesting way to up the stakes of the episode, and probably save money.

Episode 3: This episode was messed up, but it was also one of the first episodes to focus on how humans can create these situations through violence and silence.

Episode 4: I did not know that demons showed up so early in the show, and this one was surprisingly weak compared to the others that I know show up later.

Episode 5: This episode was fucked up and they have to have several decades worth of bad luck after smashing that many mirrors.

Episode 6: I had to text my friends who have seen the entire show to ask if this was the yellow eyed demon or an actual shapeshifter.

Episode 7: The twist of it being the girl who the spirit was latched onto was very fun. Also, there is no way that that fire got hot enough to melt silver, especially not the amount that they were melting.

Episode 8: The bugs being used as the method of death was very interesting and I hope there are more episodes with interesting premises like it.

Episode 9: I immediately knew that the fire spirit was Mary as soon as I realized it was there house. I also thought that John showed up much later in the show.

Episode 10: Again, fucked up episode, but I liked the classic ghost hunting, abandoned building situation.

Episode 11: The fugly scarecrow scene is iconic, and I enjoyed the exploration of Sam and Deans feelings about the road so far, and each other.

Episode 12: I had seen most of this episode at some point, but I appreciate the really hammering down on Sam being just as willing to do anything to save Dean.

Episode 13: I liked the exploration of Dean's character and how he handles relationships outside of his immediate family. I also watched this episode with my mom and she kept saying that the truck was really nice (I know exactly nothing about trucks).

Episode 14: They almost killed Zelda Spellman! I liked the fact that the yellow eyed demon has been confirmed as having killed other people the same way it killed Mary, and that the children of these people have developed similar powers, further connecting these incidents.

Episode 15: I liked that the monster was people, and they were 100% cannibals.

Episode 16: I don't like Meg. I don't know what she is yet, but I do know that she's going to be showing up again, probably by the end of the season. This episode also made me think that John Winchester was not originally intended to be as bad of father as I know he is shown to be throughout the rest of the series. He's still a horrible parent, but he seems to care about Sam and Dean more in the first season than he does later on.

Episode 17: I did not know that the Ghost Facers showed up this early. They're so stupid. Loved the episode.

Episode 18: Fascinating look into the past of Sam and Dean, how Dean and John's relationship works, and how Dean views hunting. I also thought it was spelled "striga" (I have subtitles on).

I will continue reactions tomorrow, and I plan on doing longer, individual posts for each episode. I'll also try to put these into a master list so they're easier to find.

Edit: I'm working on understanding how to make a master list properly, so I might tack multiple reactions into the same post or reblogs for the sake of it not being incredibly long.

[shiguangism]

Presentation

Hi, I'm anchestral and I'm mainly a fan writer who landed here on tumblr after years of being active on twitter!

Some info about me:

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 22

Languages: Italian, English and Spanish

Fandoms I'm active in: Link Click, Chainsaw man

Favourite shows: Link Click, Chainsaw man, Jojo's bizarre adventure, Tokyo Ghoul, Haikyuu, Berserk, and many others I won't list here. Just fyi, name me a show and probably I've watched it.

I've moved here because twitter was not a comfortable place for me anymore, and I've seen that tumblr is much more chill wrt those lands. Please, be aware that I will NOT engage in any kind of arguing online, so don't even bother to pick a fight with me, I've had very BAD experiences I don't want to repeat.

I'm here just to chill, talk to people about my favourite show, share insights and maybe make some friends. I'm very friendly, if you want to hit me up in the dm to talk about something, I'll answer very gladly whenever I cant! :)

If you're shy you can send me anon, I'll be very happy to answer.

Fanfictions:

In this year I've been writing a lot, I've always liked writing and I started when I was only 14. However, I'm a bit slow because I like to write first in my native language and then translate in English. Below, there is a list of my fanfic profiles and the works I like the most and I'm writing. This are my profiles for AO3 and EFP (Italian platform for fics):

AO3: Anchestral

EFP: Anchestral

Link Click Fanfictions:

Immersion: In which Cheng Xiaoshi goes back into the past to save Lu Guang

Summary: ‘Three are the rules we need to respect: first, we have twelve hours; second, listen to my instructions and don't change anything; third, leave to the past what's in the past and don't ask about the future.' Cheng Xiaoshi knew them well, Lu Guang told him those rules everytime before working. By then, he learned not to question them, they didn't know what could happen playing with the past and modifying it. But did the rules still make any sense if Lu Guang was dead?

Prevision: In which Lu Guang goes back into the past to save Cheng Xiaoshi

Summary: Lu Guang did not make mistakes, he always evaluated all the possibilities in front of him rationally, it was what he had to do to allow the survival of both of them, to allow their time travels to go as smooth as possible, but letting himself be dragged into Cheng Xiaoshi's do-gooder madness had been the first big mistake of a long chain. September 12th 2020 was the day when that realization hit him like a sucker punch straight in the center of his chest, leaving him on the floor gasping for air, in pain.

These two fics are actually related!

火锅 - Hotpot (E-Rated): Just a collection of nsfw one-shots, but it is getting serious. For now, there is only one chapter out, but I'm working on the second and it is becoming huge.

There are many ways to spice up a relationship: may it be a hot bowl of noodles, a dark room with way too red lights, or a bet on who's going to wash the dishes for the rest of the month... The possibilities are endless when starved eyes are looking at you as if they're going to devour you any time soon, leaving you feeling naked and in trembles. ----- 5 times Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang have steamy, hot sex + 1 time they can't. (the formula may be subjected to changes)

Chainsaw Man Fanfictions:

Dancin' in the devil's hand (E-rated):

Summary: The metropolis of Tokyo is torn apart by a series of unexplained, brutal murders, but all of them seem to be connected by a single thread. In this climate of terror, Aki Hayakawa has been given the onerous task of bringing light and a point to this story. --- An unexplainable mystery to solve that will lead Aki and Angel to work together, closer than ever, and maybe will give them the chance to understand something more about themselves and each other...

There are also many other one-shots, most of them are in Italian, thought, and I'm not particularly fond of the other translated because I was still trying to adjust my writing again!

I think I've said everything. I'm sorry if I make some mistakes, I'm very new to this site and I'm still trying to understand how the netiquette works, especially the one tied to the reblogs and the tags.

See you around! :3

[swearphil]

2023 writing gif-making round up

Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about. tagged by @reasonandfaithinharmony! thank you, friend!

buckle up, friends, because I somehow posted 98 gif sets this year and it's probably going to be 100 sets by the end of the year tbh. that number sounds so ridiculous. it's all your faults because part of the reason why I made so much was because I felt so encouraged and loved by the people I've gotten to know and know better this year, so thank you.

I started trying to put all the sets in a post and that just got overwhelming for me to look at so we're doing my top favorites with some fun statistics at the end. I think it'll come as no surprise that I mostly made rwrb and heartstopper sets this year, so I decided to do my top 5 rwrb sets, top 5 heartstopper sets, and top 10 miscellaneous sets.

top 5 rwrb sets

page to screen ripped pages: this is the first set I made after the movie was released. I worked on it for hours and really enjoy how it turned out. the text placement was what took the longest. I knew what words from each passage I wanted to highlight so it took some rearranging to make sure those were visible.

acd x all american bitch: the idea for this came about when casey posted an instagram story of GUTS and songs that correspond with their characters. I love me some bi coloring, so using that for this set was really fun!

firstprince x wildest dreams: I don't know what it is about this set that makes me love it so much. I think it's the shade of pink and then the light orange from the text.

henry "that is him, part and parcel": I adore henry and bea and that's all I have to say about this set.

firstprince x exile: I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the tags for this one and I am not sorry at all for the pain I have caused. I got the idea for this set after sending @kiwiana-writes the fake fic title "I gave so many signs" and they wrote a heartwrenching summary. I immediately wanted to do something with it!

top 5 heartstopper sets

moments of healing: day two of heartstoppercentral's pride celebration for this year. putting this together made me really emotional. I'm so grateful for alice and these moments of communication we get on the show.

imogen x ballad of a homeschooled girl: yes, I did intentionally use colors on the lesbian flag for this set. it was actually going to be purple at first to match the GUTS album but I didn't like how it looked. I tried pink, liked it, wondered what color worked with pink, and thus the color palette was born!

narlie x brighter than sunshine: day 3 of heartstoppercentral's pride celebration. as schitt's creek fans know (and as a couple people pointed out in the tags), this is the song that plays at the end of "Meet the Parents." I think I knew right away I was going to use this song for this day of the event.

narlie x fearless (taylor's version): I still can't believe I made this set. it's something just last year I would have deemed too complicated. I'm proud of myself for this one.

charlie standing up to ben: this set idea was suggested by @swiftlythebest. idk if this was intentional on alice's part, but I really enjoy how charlie says similar sentiments in both episodes. like "leave me alone" -> "I don't want to see you ever again."

top 10 miscellaneous sets

alexis rose + "destined to be on fire": I can't believe how much I've grown as a gif maker over the past three years and this set shows that growth. I also adore alexis and her journey.

david/patrick open mic: I made this set once I got back home from seeing noah in concert. I was truly close to tears during the concert when I realized I was watching him perform a song from a show I have loved for three years.

david/patrick relationship dynamic: @reasonandfaithinharmony @roseapothecary and @rmd-writes are to thank for this set coming into existence. the fact that I had so many scenes to choose from shows that this truly is david and patrick's dynamic.

schitt's creek + barbie posters: I knew right away what kind of barbie david and alexis were going to be.

GUTS + favorite lyrics: god I really love this set. the typography? the coloring? I really outdid myself.

the good witch + ages: another set I just absolutely adore. I love the shades of pink I used. also, maisie, thank you for including consecutive years in the album because it really would have bugged me if they weren't lol

danandphilgames + fuck land: my url becomes relevant again! if you told me at the start of this year that the gaming channel would be back, I would not have believed you.

calliette x love affair: I really love the overlays for this one. it just ended up working well on its own with little manipulation from me. the song is from the end of the last episode. it worked great for the antagonists event!

ellie x you're on your own, kid: I had this idea for a few weeks before I actually got around to making it. I remember being worried and surprised that no one else that I saw did a set with this song.

vampire by olivia rodrigo: the lyric "bloodsucker, fame fucker" really did something to me.

fun statistics: out of the 98 sets I made

39 are rwrb

34 are heartstopper

8 are schitt's creek

6 are music artists

5 are dan and phil

4 are the last of us

1 is tarlos

1 is calliette

32 use taylor lyrics

tagging (no pressure of course!) @roseapothecary @swiftlythebest @rmd-writes @leclercpiastri @mulderscully @victoriaspriing and if anyone else wants to do this, feel free to say I tagged you!

[ashwhowrites]

Angst- no happy ending

A song blurb based on "You don't go to parties" by 5 seconds of summer

Not proofread

It's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

Eddie swallowed down his fifth drink of the night. The room was close to spinning and his eyes couldn't focus on a single thing. Well, they could focus if the one person he craved was here. Brown eyes bouncing around every corner of his big new house. He looked at his watch and sighed, 5 am and here he was lonely on his couch. A house filled with every single person he knew, except the one that mattered most.

He knew there was a tiny chance she'd actually show up. She went to every party she could find. That's how Eddie met her. She was alive and wild. Dancing on tables as she screamed every song at the top of her lungs. She was drunk, a huge mess, singing off key, laughing as her friends tried to get her off the table. But she didn't care. She looked so carefree. Her hair was everywhere, sweat clinging to her skin, and her hips never stopped moving. Many people ignored her, but Eddie swore he's never seen someone so beautiful.

Eddie Munson never went to parties, and the one time he did, he fell in love.

I'm still here in the darkness

Back where we started

You make me a heartless monster

I'm caught up in distractions

Fatal attractions

I'm starting to come undone

If Eddie would have known that following his dreams of becoming a rock star would lead her to walk out, he would have fought harder for her.

He came to the same realization every weekend. Sitting on his couch, drink in hand. A party alive all around him, but he never felt so dead inside. He was scared to admit that he'd never feel alive again. There was no heartbeat in his chest, no air in his lungs and no blood running in his veins. A shell of a broken hearted man on his couch.

The second he tastes a drop of alcohol, he's back in the darkness. Surrounded by the hauntings of her. The way she danced, how she smelled, how she tasted, and how she loved him. But also how she fought, how she'd scream, cry, and punch. Eddie was nowhere near an angel himself, but she made the devil look weak.

She wasn't ever afraid to say what she wanted. And she had no problem throwing Eddie right back in his place when he stepped out of line.

She left, it was plain and simple. He had the chance to prove himself, he never did. He had the chance to kiss her one last time, he never did. Instead he picked up another bottle and drank away her tears. Swallowing the burn of the alcohol, and the burn of her bags being packed. His body on fire from the alcohol in his veins, and the fire in her eyes as she slammed the door.

She allowed herself to be weak with him one time, the one time she'd ever beg a man to love her the way she needed. Eddie Munson just wasn't that man. He was a man for the road, the alcohol and the groupies. She was weak, and he showed her how weak she truly was.

Eddie's mind could never focus on one thing. He'd try to write songs, but there were too many distractions. He moved houses, needed her ghost to be packed away with the past. But somehow the box with her ghost made it into the moving van. And made its own home in his head. He couldn't escape her. He was desperate now, he needed her. He needed to see any sight of her, even if she screamed how much she hated him the whole time. He was becoming more and more undone. Unraveling non-stop.

I got the last five years running out my mouth

Always stay too late, I should kick me out

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

How long until he feels like himself again? Will he ever feel the same again? Will he ever feel better? Or just always worse?

Five years of chasing after her, loving her, and losing her was too much. It doesn't matter what time the last guest left, he was still stuck in that same party all over again. He always stayed too late, he needed to be kicked out. But no one knew he was stuck. Dancing and drinking all around him. No idea he was absent in the "best" years of his life. The best years have already happened, and now he's stuck in the consequences of not being good enough.

He wished she'd come stumbling out of the nearest bathroom. A whine on her lips, begging Eddie to take her home.

"babbbbyyy we need to go home"

Eddie would always laugh and walk her out to the car. Admiring how beautiful she looked as she drew on the windows. Drunk giggles leaving her mouth as he drove them home.

Now, he never gets to leave the parties. He's stuck watching them last all night long. A reminder he didn't have anyone to leave the party for, or with.

He can't help it, but he'll still look around every party for her.

Lost my limit 'cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate

Took my foot off of the break, it's not an accident

Eddie went too far and he lost her.

He was in love and way too passionate. She never seemed to love him enough. He was missing something with her. He tried to find it in her, but he never could.

One night he decided to let it go. He took his foot off the break and let them crash. And fuck, they crashed and burned. Every doubt and insecurity hit the surface. She believed she loved him way more than he could ever love her. And he believed she couldn't ever love him enough.

He fell in love with her at a party

And he fell into a dark place with her at a party

Their relationship left dead on a random road, after a party

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire

[lakesparkles]

I wasn't that grossed out by Pickles/PB when i learned she was 25 and kinda feel the bojack show infantilizes adult women (speaking as a woman myself ) what are your thoughts?

Ehhhhh.................

I have many mixed feelings about PB x Pickles, it'll be hard to answer but I'm try my best!

First thing is that I LOVE Pickles as a character! Unpopular opinion, I know, but her plot was... fun to watch in a very "oh this is what I call well written drama" way. Season 5 made my two favorite characters act like assholes and I lowkey liked it? It made sense for their characters.

I am clearly a multishipper when we're talking about Mr Peanutbutter! But he and Pickles together sucked. They're my least favorite couple of the show to the point I can't even say one thing I liked about their relationship because they were terrible and, most important, they were written like this! I don't think we were supposed to like them, in the first place.

After all of this, I would say that their age gap problem is that it's something PB always does. He didn't realize it, but it's one of the -many- reasons all his past relationships failed. This dog man changed my entire life for the better and I love him more than anything, but I can admit that he has many flaws, just like any character of the show. It's what makes him himself, and he wanted to change in the last season!

And it all doesn't change the fact that Pickles is pretty much an adult. Being 21 myself, seeing her being infantilized bothers me a lot. I saw people saying about how PB is as bad as Bojack for this and.... No??

I want that people complain and hate PB for what he actually did, it's what I'm saying. There is no need to create stuff just to make him seem worse than he actually is. There are already many reasons to dislike him.

[destinyc1020]

TCR Reviews: Episodes 5 & 6

I missed posting my review for Ep 5 last week, so I'll just combine it with my review for Ep 6.

*****WARNING: SPOILERS!!!!

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Ep 5 Review:

Overall, I felt like this episode was really good! I was glad that we as the viewers were able to get a little more insight into Danny's childhood. This episode was very sad to me though. 😔 And some scenes could have possibly been very triggering for some watching because is deals with the topic of child sexual abuse. 😔

To me, it's just utterly DISGUSTING how a grown adult would take full advantage of a CHILD and abuse them in this vile way, and basically rob them of their innocence like this. 😡 Those actions have awful consequences for the child victim, and many times they struggle with the abuse even into adulthood, and it basically ruins their adult life forever...especially if they don't receive any assistance/therapy. 😔

I kept praying that they weren't going to show us too much of the abuse in this episode, because that would have just been super sad. 😭 Thankfully, the show stopped just short of showing too much (thank goodness). I feel like Ep 4 started making it more and more apparent that Danny is dealing with DID and doesn't even realize it himself (but others around him can tell something is wrong with him), whereas I feel like Ep 5 kind of showed us why Danny is the way he is, and some of the reasons behind his mind split. The interesting thing though is that his mind seems to have split even before the abuse of the stepfather, so it makes me wonder if maybe he had some other possible childhood trauma in his history? 🤔

Anyway, by the end of Ep 5 I just felt SO SAD for Danny, and I keep wondering..."When is his life going to change for the better??" 😭 His life is just so sad and depressing. 😩 My heart goes out to him. With that said, I like how this show isn't making Danny into some kind of "monster", but is more so showing how we should have sympathy for his character and his mental struggles. I know a LOT of fans were worried that the series would focus on the murders and rapes, and were afraid it was going to cast people with DID in a bad light, and some were worried about seeing Tom in a controversial role like that, but so far, it's clear to see that a LOT of fan worries and anxieties (and assumptions) were waaay off base.

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Ep 6 Review:

I really loved this episode! 😃 I LOVED getting to know more about Rya and seeing more into her life. Now things are starting to come together. The pieces are all starting to fit.

Idk why critics claimed that the series is difficult to follow in the timeline. The timeline isn't difficult to follow imo at all. In fact, I actually LOVE when shows/films go back and forth from the past to the present. I like trying to connect the dots lol. Maybe they didn't add the "5 weeks after the Rockefeller shooting" taglines on the episode scenes at the time the critics saw the show?? Anyway.... Tom's acting! He did awesome in Ep6. 👏🏾😃I can't wait for more! I feel like we will get even MORE of his great acting in the latter episodes. He did the transitions so well too. You could see him switch from Jack to Danny so effortlessly. Even the way he holds his eyes... It's very subtle, but it's noticeable. His scenes in this episode remind me so much of James McAvoy's performance in the film "Split" and his therapist scenes. The switch btwn characters is just amazing. I'm glad they added those elements in this series as well.

After what I've already seen so far, I definitely think Tom deserves at least an Emmy NOD. I can only imagine we get more of his fine acting in latter episodes.

This series reminds me so MUCH of "Primal Fear" with Edward Norton. GREAT movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it! I saw it years ago, so when Tom said this series was going to be a lot like "Primal Fear", I already knew what type of ride we would be in for lol. 😅🤣

I honestly don't know why critics slammed this series so much. It has been a "slow burn" (sure), but definitely not anything horrible at all! I'm almost wondering if they even saw all 10 episodes?? 👀 I also love how the series isn't making Danny out to be a monster. I know a lot of fans were worried about that, but I had faith that they weren't going to go that route when I kept hearing about how the series was being described. I like how it's moreso focusing on his mental health. I love it. It's been very good so far. It's VERY much like the film "Primal Fear" imo.

Can't wait for Ep7!!! 😁👏🏾

[many-gay-magpies]

5, 8, 19 for the dbd ask game! xoxo

aaaa thank you so much for asking!! most of this has been put under a cut because apparently i had a lot to say hdhfjfbfb

5. Which character do you relate to the most?

i think out of the main cast, i relate most to niko, but i also relate somewhat to kashi—and i mean, the night nurse said they were alike, so that makes a kind of sense XD.

niko reminds me specifically of a version of myself i USED to be, or like, one that's lying dormant. she's awkward and reclusive and extremely literal with her language, and once someone takes her out of her box she's super friendly, but she doesn't know how to get HERSELF out of the box, so she needs a friend who openly and unashamedly enjoys her presence and invites her along to things (like edwin!). i'm getting better with socializing, but that definitely reminds me of MYSELF with the whole social vampire thing of, like, i wont interact with you in depth unless you invite me first. she also has a lot of knowledge about random and frequently creepy things (see "long pig"), which i relate to on a spiritual level, AND she has an incredibly bright and exuberant fashion sense, which i feel is the case for me as well. ALSO!! aro niko is basically canon as far as im concerned, and idk if thats because its actually viable; because i, an aro, projected onto her way too hard; or both of those things. honestly, it's kind of a surprise i'm not more obsessed with her, but maybe this is exactly WHY i'm not. her character's already familiar to me because i grew up with her in my head.

as for kashi, it's more like. specifically his view of his life and past experiences? like, the way he goes "really im not sure i HAVE any trauma" and night nurse goes "YOU WERE SWALLOWED BY A GIGANTIC FISH" and he smiles all wistful and goes "ah, one of life's many adventures!". even when i have bad experiences don't necessarily enjoy them in the moment, there's a part of my brain that's like. yes!! negative emotion!! so refreshing and fun!! this is evidence that we are human!! this is a symptom of life!! yes!! how joyous!! like i was a fucking alien in a past life or something and the little alien remains of my soul are so utterly fascinated by every aspect of human existence, whether its grim and painful or fun and full of love. so. me and kashi 🤝🤝🤝

8. A headcanon you have (that you havent seen talked about yet)!

idk if this counts as me not seeing it be talked about yet because the whole thing that SPURNED this headcanon was seeing someone offhandedly mention that crystal would probably be good at drawing due to having rich artist parents, but i imagine crystal being kind of an artist herself (and in fact ive written 2k words of fic about it! its on the backburner at the moment tho). her fashion sense is very reminiscent of the way an art kid would dress (see: ME), and it just feels like it makes SENSE given her parents' profession and how she might have been raised, growing up around art. i also feel like little kid crystal, seeing how much attention her parents gave to the OTHER artists in their installations, might have tried to gain their attention for herself by getting really good at art, before she realized the problem wasn't anything she was or wasn't doing; it was just her (or, more accurately, it was the fact that her parents were neglectful pieces of shit who probably never should have had a child).

19. Favourite actor from the show?

i don't really get into the actors of shows on a personal level, although i do love watching behind the scenes and interviews of them just goofing off and having a good time, so for this question—i don't really know? george rexstrew seems like a very nice and down-to-earth person, and jayden just seems cool and fun(ny), but they're all pretty much just guys (gender neutral) to me.

if we're talking acting... man idk, they're all so good. this being george's first onscreen role out of theater school is fucking amazing, he absolutely killed it, and the sheer DEDICATION is awe-inspiring (i think i read that he actually took ballet classes to help him walk and move like edwin?). all jayden's micro-expressions and actingchoices as charles blow me out of the fucking water, and kassius made crystal feel so real and genuine, and... yeah, i could go on XD.

[etherealnoir]

Found Ep. 7 Thoughts

Spoiler Warning!

So this wasn't my favorite episode. While I did like the show bringing attention to Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (sort of...it would've been nice for them to add an info card or something at the end of the episode, but ok), the episode itself left a lot to be desired.

TL;DR: The highlight of this episode was learning more about Hugh's abandonment triggers, because I feel like it added a ton of context to his behavior in the past and in this episode. Everything else was a chop. I feel like they spent too much time on some things (Trent), not enough on others (Lacey), and overlooked a lot of things as well (Gabi being held accountable).

I wrote a lot, but please feel free to skip to whatever part you care the most about lol

1. The Story

It felt weirdly disjointed and all over the place. The natal doctor being the culprit at the end, despite there being NO previous indicators, kind of annoyed me. It was lazy to have it be this random man we barely saw, with a motivation we learned about in the last 5 minutes. They could've EASILY introduced that he worked with many indigenous/marginalized people early in the episode and also mentioned that he lost his own child.

It would've made more sense if he was a part of a ring of people taking babies of color and putting them up for adoption--because that's a thing that actually happens. I feel like they were originally going to have the culprit be the neighbor whose brother lost his baby and blamed it on Aida. As sort of like an eye-for-an-eye thing. But then they realized it'd probably look bad if a bunch of Non-Indigenous people demonized an Indigenous woman like that, so they changed it at the last minute.

2. Lacey

Lacey is always severely underutilized, but this time it felt just sadly egregious. They emphasized that Lacey was uncomfortable with being in the area because of the kidnapping, but...that was about it. It would've been a good opportunity to show a flashback of Lacey and Gabi together as children, or even a great chance to show Gabi and Lacey connecting over their shared experience in adulthood. Better yet, it would've been the perfect time to explore how the kidnapping has affected Lacey in adulthood, because it's clear it presents as a fear more intense than Gabi's.

Also her randomly kicking in the door and rushing into the house was odd, no matter how much they said in-show that it was ooc. Sometimes it feels like scenes are cut out that would add clarity to the scenes they leave in.

3. Trent x Gabi

As much as I love them together, I get really REALLY tired of watching Gabi use Trent and his network without any repercussions or hard pushback. I know that Gabi agreed to work closely with the police to make sure the people who committed the crimes face punishment, but I can only suspend disbelief BUT SO MUCH. Like what do you mean Gabi and Dhan can threaten a potential suspect into confessing? What do you mean they can just find things about people in less than a day, whenever they ask for it? WHY are they able to break rules with impunity, when doing so would absolutely cause the case to get thrown out in court????

As much as I know that Trent cares about Gabi and is willing to risk his job for her, I'm failing to understand why. What has she done for him that has made him want to give up his job for her? Because, from what we've seen so far, she hasn't really...done...much? We know they slept together at least once, that he has feelings for her, and that she relies on him a lot. But I feel like this show is constantly telling us that Gabi is worth sacrifice without illustrating why.

If this show is going to improve, they REALLY need to stop trying to make us believe that Gabi can do whatever she wants because reasons. It's starting to feel very Mary Sue-ish, and I don't want that to happen to her.

I at least hope that she takes accountability for taking the thumbdrive.

4. Hughbert "Sir" Evans

The one thing I did like about this episode is that we learned a lot about who Hugh is, and what his triggers are. If they choose to stay consistent anyway. Because they said in one episode that one of his triggers was mess/dirt, and then it was never brought up again lol.

In this episode, we learned that Hugh has abandonment issues. I believe that Hugh suffered from Parental Neglect as a child, which ties into this quest he had to "save" Gabi from her own perceived neglect. Hugh illustrates all the traits of someone who grew up not feeling heard or paid attention to: forcing Gabi to debate with him, him lecturing at her when she's eating, him having a meltdown when she ignores him or walks away. He threw a temper tantrum when he suspected that someone else might be taking attention away from him, because he finds comfort in knowing that it's always just him and Gabi in that house, and that she's consciously aware that he's there.

Obviously his traumatic past doesn't excuse the shit he's done. But it does add a ton of context.

These are a lot of thoughts, sorry lol This episode just bugged me. I feel like the writers room doesn't have their shit together. Maybe in S2 (if they get one), they'll find a rhythm that works. They need to. Because I shouldn't be able to tell a better story than these people who were PAID to do so.

[transxfiles]

hii bailor how are you. have you read or watched anything cool recently. i just started fellow travelers (the book) and it's making me feel so crazy i had to put it down and like go walk around to feel normal again

HIIIIIIII i have been doing so mcuh with work and art and everything so i haven't done much reading since june (i read like 7 books in a row i was doing so well) BUT i have been watching movies bc i found out that the local arthouse theater gives a really good student discount. also i have been hanging out at the video store and befriending the ppl who work the front desk there so i've watched a bunch of fun movies recently. SO!! some movie recs from things i've watched recently

humanist vampire seeking consensual suicidal person (2023)

dark comedy film about a young vampire who cannot hunt for food bc she cant morally justify killing people. after her parents stop hunting for her (finally forcing her to confront her fear of taking human life) she realizes that she might be able to work around her issues when she meets a suicidal teenager who wants her to kill him. genuinely such a sweet coming of age movie. and VERY silly. and beautifully filmed.

latter days (2003)

found the dvd at the local tax evading secondhand bookstore and bought it as a joke but genuinely this movie was very good. how do i even begin to describe latter days. blowjob scene in the first 5 minutes. the "sweet home alabama" screenwriter's passion project that he described as him trying to figure out what his repressed mormon past-self and his young newly out queer self would've done if they'd met. the answer is gay sex. apparently. this is an insane movie. i really enjoyed it but tbh i had the unique viewing experience of watching the movie with my old homoerotic best friend from high school so idk if my opinions on it are valid. they may indeed be tainted by that viewing experience. some insane fucking one liners though.

scream, queen! my nightmare on elm street (2019)

really great documentary for queer horror fans. follows the life of mark patton, the man who is most well-known for being the "first male scream queen" after he starred in nightmare on elm street 2: freddy's revenge. this was a video store rental and did not disappoint! experienced a positive jumpscare when i heard the first voiceover and was like "WAIT!!! cecil gershwin-palmer??????" it is indeed voiced by mr cecil welcometonightvale himself, cecil baldwin 👍

this ask also gives me an excuse to share some of my journal pages about movies i've seen recently so !

(+ bonus photo of my latter days dvd. insane fucking movie. btw fun fact the sticker on this dvd says 3 dollar but i did in fact get it for free bc the bookstore ladies love me. so)

i should add fellow travelers to my TBR probably,,, i need to read again. im always saying that when i haven't read for a while but it's true. i've been reading so many theater related nonfiction books recently for work and school and independent study and stuff but i gotta read A Narrative again soon.

i also need to go insane over A Narrative again and i think that'd do the trick........

rn i'm reading "standby" which is this book about theatrical design theory and it's so SO good but a little dense. i will say the last book that i devoured was andrew rannells' book of essays "too much is not enoguh" i read that in like 3 days and that was me pacing myself. it also got the stamp of approval from my mom who i lent the book to pretty much as soon as i saw her after i finished it.

also read this weird script a while ago called "the last thing i'll ever write" by adam lauver but i really don't know how i feel about that one. it was fun to read in the moment bc reading it was like putting together a puzzle of trying to figure out how i would actually put the show on a stage but idk if i;d recommend it. it IS weird art though and i do love weird art.

ive also been watching falsettos pretty frequently. idk why. its been scratching a theatre itch in my brain.

[ben-the-hyena]

Got any least favorite movies besides than Encanto?

Hmmm it is hard to think because I dislike or hate many movies but few are the ones that made me angry, this is more shows usually. So I don't know how I'll organize it

Oh well, just titles that just cross my mind : How To Train Your Dragons 2 and 3 (the 3rd is the WORST for total character and plotline assassination, the 2nd does resoect the franchise's spirit but oh boy I'd make a whole post about my problems with it), Ratatouille (not hate but I really do not care for cooking movies "OH NO HE RUINED THE SOUP WHAT A TRAGEDY !" I DON'T GIVE A SHIT and it randomly having cartoon physics in a "realistic" environment throws me off), The Wild (until Encanto THIS was the worst Disney movie), A Clockwork Orange (I KNOW it is a classic but I just find it boring and even if I DO know it IS on purpose to denounce society tgat the main character gets away in the end it frustrates me to have gone through all of that for naughts ; a good movie for that, it did its job good ! Just not for me lmao), Usual Suspect (it was SOOOOO boring I was nearly too asleep to get what was happening in the end, I found out like years later there was a plot twist in the end because it had sedated me THAT much I didn't pay attention at all to names and faces lmao), The Lion King live action remake (OOOH IT FELT LIKE NECROMANCY FOR HOW COPYPASTED BUT SOULLESS IT WAS IT HURT... I HATED IT SO MUCH I STRAIGHT UP STOPPED GOING TO SEE DISNEY LIVE ACTION REMAKES AFTER THAT), Star Wars 7 and 9 (ABSOLUTE FRANCHISE ASSASSINATIONS WITH A MARY SUE AND COPY PASTING FANDNSERVICE WITHOUT MAKING IT MAKE SENSE OR ORIGINAL, A FORCED SHIP, FORCED DRAMA... The 8th was flawed too BUT I liked it for DARING trying to be different !!!), Ice Age 5 (GOOD GOD IT WAS SO LAME AND UNFUNNY IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED WITH THE 4TH OR BETTER THE 3RD SINCE THE 4TH WAS OKAY AT BEST MEH AT WORST)... RIGHT now I can't think of more, I mostly have titles of movies I find meh or just too flawes but without being disliked either (like Wish. It is a BAD movie, objectively, Disbeh deserves this failure and I'm glad it flopped hard. Yet it was okay to me. And Rise of the Guardians was okay too, but no sorru folks visually sure it is gorgeous but plot and characters wise it is VERY meh and the ending/Pitch's defeat sucked ass I was frustrated and annoyed while I was like 14 and seeing how people adored it anyway made me understand/realize sometimes people will call media "good" only because it has beautiful looks) so idk more

There are also movies I didn't watch but refuse to because I know I WILL hate it or at the very least will be angry about for the posts and clips I saw and might grow to hate it out of frustration of seeing it praised. Like Nimona (a Tumblr/Twitter post that lasts for 1h30 and will be relevant only for 2 years. Also fugly artstyle and charadesigns, also I'm petty and I loathed how Tumblr used it to mock Elemental which was a masterpiece and the best Pixar in many years and the best Pixar romance so fuck this) and Wendell and Wilde (for all I read about the main character Idc she is grieving for her parents, she IS an ungrateful edgy bitch who actually HESITATED to sacrifice an innocent guy for her own gain but because she chose not to and because "she's a sad kid :(" the narrative passes her off as good and in the right. I'd have not been as patient as the nuns and her classmates, as kind as they were she kept hating and being angry over anything- sometimes a painful slap in the face and a kick in direction of a therapist's office is needed I'm sorry)