#this is actually like 11 people i want to get to know but 🤷‍♀️

[13eyond13]

9 People You Want to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @thisisfullofcringe thank you 🧡😘

1. Three Ships

Honestly the only ship that's ever kept my attention for any length of time is Lawlight, but I definitely have a bit of a thing for LxB and AxB in the DN fandom at times as well. And lately I've also been kinda going 👀 at Harry x Kim from Disco Elysium too. I definitely was not expecting it at all when I first started the game, which makes it all the more fun

2. First ever ship

Only recently remembered that when I was about 11 I was absolutely convinced Sam and Frodo in the LOTR cinematic universe had it bad for each other (and I still don't think I'm wrong)

3. Last song

What Else is There by Röyksopp

4. Last movie

I watched Annihilation (2018) with my book club recently. Very creepy and good!

5. Currently reading

A Game of Thrones by G.R.R. Martin, Mean Boy by Lynn Coady, and The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean. I tend to read every day, but shuffle what I read based on my mood

6. Currently watching  

Started watching The Haunting of Hill House last night thx to a rec from @ratbefriender 🧡

7. Currently consuming

Just had some avocado egg toast and coffee with cream

8. Currently craving

Exercise, actually. A very unusual feeling for me lol

Tagging @puropoly @goldfincheli @ratbefriender @eyecicles @longagoitwastuesday @floweryflees @our-summer-is-winter @lightlessons @reznorty3 @freakoville @bi-snapdragon if you want to!

[trulyhblue]

Baby England (Part Three)

Jordan Nobbs x Young! Reader (platonic), Leah Williamson x Young! Reader (platonic), Lionesses x Young! Reader

warnings — angst fluff, coarse language, mentions of anxiety.

A/N — Baby England’s Back!!!!! Half of this was deleted and I wanted to cry so bad but here it is. And do I have a twist for you… didn't expect it to get this long, but I have to make up for the hiatus somehow xxx

Masterlist

___________________________

It was a few days before the Semi Final, and you were sat amongst a pile of paperwork.

lionesses

Liked by yourusername, alessiarusso99 and 43, 526 others

lionesses — semi final prep with baby England 💪🏻🙌🏼

Watch our clash with Sweden on the 27th @ Sheffield Stadium — 6pm GMT 🌟

tagged: yourusername

Comments:

yourusername — ❤️

*liked by lionesess

user1 — she is so adorable

^ user2 — she's so pookie.

georgiastanway — yeah the spiky hair

^ lionesses — stop bullying your little sis

^ georgiastanway — y/n get off the account

^ user5 — 💀

chelseawfc — love to see it 🙌🏼

^ user8 — UM WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

User67 — I NEED TO KNOW WHERE SHE’S SIGNING

^ user45 — apparently Man U want her

^ user9 — atp, EVERYONE wants her

^ user10 — imagine her in a barça jersey 😋

^ user 11 — gurl pls… imagine her at UNC 😍

User12 — I really hope she starts for this game

^ user13 — I doubt it, I think she’ll be a super sub

^ user25 — she started last match??? And she got potm… surely she starts again

^ user13 — 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

arsenalacademy — absolute gun(ner)

^ user7 — lets be honest, arsenal will NEVER let Y/N leave

^ user89 — she's a free agent after the euros. They technically cannot keep her if someone's willing to pay more for her

__________________________

You had been training pretty much every day, save for the week that had been dedicated fo media roles and interviews. You were switching between teammates for a while. One interview was with Leah and Beth, another with Alessia, Lotte, Georgia and Ella.

At training, the coaches worked the team tirelessly. You were struggling to keep a straight face when you were told to run laps before you were sent back to your rooms. A large part of your weariness was mental. It had been a day full of apprehension for the days to come. Making it so far into the Euros was an achievement in itself, but a home euro was something else.

You hadn't seen your family for weeks now, and you were starting to miss your childhood bedroom. Despite the long hours spent chipping away at school work, you missed your friends at home and your teammates back at Arsenal Academy. The Lionesses quickly became your favourite people in the work. Many of them were family to you. But the subtly of your dismay and expression of homesickness proved more and more apparent as the days went by.

This feeling was not to be mistaken with ungratefulness. Being apart of your National team was a dream come true. This was what you worked for, lived and breathed for. You had finally attained your dream — this was all you ever wanted. You were eternally grateful for the opportunity, the chance to bring football home. A home tournament was a once-in-a-lifetime possibility, and here you were experiencing it. Every day you woke up wanting to pinch yourself. This couldn't be real.

But school was pretty much impossible at a time like this. When all you wanted to do was kick a ball around, catch up on sleep, and actually socialise. You know, like every other one of your teammates. It seemed as if you were the only one encapsulated by the realm of education, despite many of the girls attending University. You weren't indifferent to your current situation. Being a student and playing in one of the biggest football tournaments in the world was going to be difficult. But you felt like spending quality time with your friends would do you well. You wanted to stop worrying about your stupid equations and do something worth your while.

You had been saying this since the Euros began.

In no way did you mean for it to change for the worse.

But the universe was not in your favour.

“You should choose what makes you happy.” Jordan soothed, milking out the same string of sentences you've heard all week. The two of you sat in a cafe not far from Sheffield Stadium, sipping away at your hot chocolates, having already finished your macaroons.

Your agent had sent you the multitude of contracts you had been offered from different clubs. Tomorrow, you were playing against Sweden in the Semi-finals. Sarina thought it’d be good if everyone had the day off before the havoc set in. You had spent the morning in your room, finishing off the rest of your History Essay. Jordan had picked you up not long after noon, bringing you away from the stress chipping you away.

“It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks,” The older woman held your hand, and you managed to feel her subtle squeeze.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Its not my—”

You cut her off, huffing in exasperation. “Jordan, please.”

Jordan’s face was impassive, a prominent knot creasing the space between her eyebrows. Her hair was flipped over one side, concealing the half of her face which she leant against her hand. She was struggling to find the words that had the capacity to encapsulate both truth and love — two things you needed to hear as you sat in the near-empty coffee shop. You wanted her to be honest, you thought. You needed her to tell it to you straight.

But this was Jordan you're asking. The kind, restful, reticent woman you had known forever — a woman while true to her word, could only speak subjectively, with emotion muddled into words. She was the personification of empathy. You loved that about her. But with your mind in a haze, despite your unrelenting apathy to stay independent, you really wanted to hear someone else’s opinion, for you had thought it over too many times to comprehend.

Your first option, of course, was Arsenal. It was your childhood club, your parent club, your home. For many years, it stood as everything you loved. You grew up watchings greats like Kelly Smith and Leah paving the way for your generation. You felt more at home at Arsenal than anywhere else. Though, it goes without saying that you haven't been anywhere else to compare it to.

And Leah would be hell-struck if you didn't choose Arsenal, even if she wouldn't directly admit it.

Spurs had taken interest in you since your youth ages when you had tried out for both North London teams at the ripe age of six. It just so happened that you chose Arsenal since it was closer to home, and you often wondered what it would've been like if you had chosen Tottenham instead.

United was next. A great club full of incredible talents like Ella Toone and Alessia Russo, two of your close friends when it came to International duties. The Manchester Reds were brilliant, tough competitors, but you never found much affiliation with them. Sure, they were amazing, but was it for you?

Lotte and Alessia both spoke to you about UNC, and you were definitely looking into playing there as a second alternative. You knew your parents thought this was the best option, but with the offers you were receiving, it wasn't at the top of your list.

You waited for Jordan’s response, already knowing her answer. There was one club you refused to think about. One club you couldn't set your mind to.

But the contract looked all too appealing.

“Chelsea.”

Three years — you’d be eighteen when it ends. Just shy of 250k a year, not including bonuses, increasing at a negotiable rate. You were a free agent after the Euros, and your contract with the Arsenal Academy was ending at the start of August. The Blues had a fantastic team and were worthy opponents for the cup title. You were guaranteed as a regular sub and promised to be looked after and rehabilitated to full strength if injuries occurred.

You hadn't thought over this option much during your senior debuts. It was pretty much embedded into you that you were a Gunner through and through. You had grown up playing against your London Rivals, and the team’s hatred only intensified as the game got stronger. It stood as a testament of its time.

But there was only one more thing that was stopping you.

“What about Leah?”

Jordan sighed. She knew Leah was a Gunner through and through. She knew that Leah saw herself in you — going through the academy, debuting at a young age. Choosing a pro contract was bound to happen to you the moment you were called up. No one even thought you’d gain minutes. But with Jordan’s injury, and your inevitable image, clubs were reeling in the prospect of a prodigy.

“This isn't her career, chook,” Jordan muttered, taking a sip of her drink. “Wherever you go, you have to take different things into account. Whether you’ll get minutes, if they value younger players as much as their originals, y’know, its a lot to think about.”

“You think I’ll get minutes?”

“Maybe not as much as Spurs, or North Carolina, but it's in the club’s reputation. They're known for their attack, and so are you.”

“I don't want to be the one to tell her.” You cringed. Leah was your older sister, in sorts. You valued her opinion over anyone else. To tell her you were transferring to her rival club felt like a slap in the face to all that she's done for you, not to mention you’d verse her in the League.

“Well, it’d be worse if she found out over the media.” Jordan quipped, through light to the situation.

“How would I bring that up?” You scoffed, hiding your face in your hoodie. “Hey, Leah, I know I've played for Arsenal forever, but I think I should just betray everyone and go to their biggest rivals. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Jordan shook her head. “She’d understand.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Would she?”

“I’d be livid at her if she wasn't,” Jordan spoke, her tone much sterner. You sat back in your chair. “It's not like you're signing a life-long contract with them, anyway. It's three years. Three years where you get to improve your skills and expand your career. Leah loves you too much to be angry at you for more than an hour. In fact, that woman has never been angry at you a day in her life.”

“I guess I’ll break that streak when I tell you.” you muttered, looking down at your empty cup.

“Stop that.” Jordan huffed, crossing her arms. “You've got two more weeks to figure it out. But let me tell you this. Arsenal will always be there for you. You don't need to stick with them for your whole career to know that they will happily welcome you back with welcoming arms. That goes for all the girls… including Leah.”

“Right.”

“And I’ll tell her that straight if she even thinks about doing anything otherwise.”

________________

yourusername

liked by jordannobbs, barcelonafemeni, and 102,223

yourusername — bit of life 💙

tagged — jordannobbs, maryearps1, and yourfriend

Comments:

jordannobbs — my daughters growing up too fast 😭

^ yourusername — thanks mama 💗

jordannobbs — look at you glowing 💙

^ yourusername — all you

jordannobbs — proud x

* liked by yourusername

user1 — I'm loving Jord’s spam! She's so proud of her 🥲

^ user2 — literally mother daughter goals

wosofan — this is the first time I haven't seen leah in a Baby Eng dump

^ user9 — omg ur right

user78 — loving the blue theme

^ user8 — are you thinking what I'm thinking

milliebright — beanie gal 🤭

^ yourusername — meanie

^ milliebright — you’ll get used to it

^ user8 — UM HELLO

samanthakerr — where’d you get that jumper from in the third photo?

^ yourusername — dunno

^ user98 — HOW DO THEY KNOW EACH OTHER????????

maryearps1 — caught me off guard with that

^ yourusername — you asked me to take the photo 😂

^ ellatoone — HA! Caught.

^ mearyearps1 — 😒

user89 — WHATS WITH THE BLUE

lionesess — our put together baby 🌟

* liked by yourusername

georgiastanway — i didnt need to see the bottom of your shoes

^ yourusername — you see them all the time in training 🤷‍♀️

^ georgiastanway — dont.

chelseawfc — matching attire?

^ user78 — HUH IM SO CONFUSED

^ wowwoso — WHY IS CHELSEA HERE

^ user6 — WHAT IS HAPPENING

________________

Sweat was beading across your forehead, the nerves of half time creeping up to the steady beat of your heart.

You hadn't told Leah about the decision you came to with Jordan. You had been so caught up in how she’d react, mixed with the stress of this upcoming game, that you weren't in any stable condition to go through with it.

In addition to that, you were still making your final decision, the finality of Chelsea not truly setting in.

Beth and Lucy had already sent the ball flying into the back of the net, and Sweden had yet to take a chance to extend their stay into the finals. You watched from the wing anxiously, threading the ball to the more experienced players, staying in the pipe ways as you did so.

You had started, which still came as a surprise to you since. Your game against Spain was still fresh in your mind. You wanted to stay consistent in your performance while also keeping up with the newfound intensity of the game, but something just wasn't clicking for you.

England was doing great, up by two goals by the second half. You had kept yourself distanced from the vigour, passing out when needed, mainly staying on the wing in order to keep as much distance from making more mistakes.

You had been pretty reckless with your passing. Obviously not too catastrophic, but enough to send winces across the crowd.

Your passes weren't sloppy, but they weren't precise either. You didn't leave much opportunity for the forwards and were starting to rely on your defence too much.

There was simply something about your gameplay today that didn't mould with the rest of the team. You didn't want to be subbed off. You wanted to make an impact.

But it just was not clicking.

Ellen had just been subbed off for Alessia, who was wiping her hands over her shorts, watching the ball tread through the outskirts of Sweden’s half. You could hear the crowd’s apprehension linger when you were passed the ball by Leah, using all your strength to peel away from Blackstenius.

Your first touch wasn't the greatest, and Stina was pressuring you out near the line. In every other game, you were known for your cool persona when encountering stress. You could collectively juggle the presence of a marker while dribbling the ball down the line onto a seeking prospect.

But as soon as the Swed’s studs hit your foot, you were sent to the ground. Hot flashes of pain sprung from your ankle. It was nothing that wouldn't surpass after a few moments whining about it on the ground.

Nonetheless, the whistle blew for a free kick, and Leah’s figure was knelt beside you in an instant.

“You alright, kid?”

Leah wasn't dumb. She knew that you had been ignoring her these past few days. You were distant, passive, and overall neglectful of her efforts to talk to you.

You would usually knock on her door after dinner to play some card games or help you with schoolwork. You would squeeze yourself next to her on the bus rides, and partner up with her at training.

Leah would pretend to be annoyed, and you would act all innocent like it was second nature — because that is what it was.

But you refused to meet her lingering eyes during meals and chose to partner with Millie any chance you got. You’d sit with Georgia at meals, and Jess Carter during Bus rides. Hell, even during free time, Jordan would pick you up and take you out, and she wasn't even on the team.

Leah knew something was up, and you knew that she had caught on. Jordan wouldn't tell her. And you hadn't spoken so much as three sentences to her for the past week. So it was no wonder that you were struggling. There was so much pent up tension in your shoulders, you looked so apprehensive.

Leah pulled you up by your shoulders, holding out her hand to stroke your face.

“You tell me you want to go off and I’ll find a sub for you.” Her words were harsh, but there was good intention behind it.

You gulped, shaking your head. Leah was watching your every move like a hawk. This was the perfect opportunity for her to ask you what was wrong. She could see that you needed to get something off your chest.

“I'm fine, keep me on.” You put it soundly, sighing as Leah brushed off the grass that was left on your jersey.

“Don't think that this is the end of the conversation.” Leah retorted, refusing to let your longest interaction in days go. “You’d be barmy if you think I’d let you get away with this easily.”

“I'm not Barmy, Lee. I'm fine.” You replied.

Leah could tell by your smile that she had hit the sweet spot. You were willing to play, the injury minuscule with its attempts to shake you. Your captain kissed the top of your forehead, bringing you into a quick hug.

“Alright then, Fine. Go on and take that free kick.”

You pushed past her lightly, the uncertainty lingering in your body slowly sinking into the grass with every step you took. Everyone had taken the time to huddle together as a team, moving back to their respective positions on the field after you had collected yourself up off the floor.

As the match continued, it was as if you had a fresh set of legs. Everyone got whiplash from your sudden switch of performance that not only enhanced your gameplay but the flow of the game altogether.

You became more involved in the game, passing into your central attackers, and sprinting down the wing to create more changes for a wider goal difference. Georgia and Keira gained more traction with your involvement, and it somehow paved the way for the defenders to find a more secure backline.

The next time you found yourself marked by Stina, who had apologised for your minor Collison, you were lightning on your feet. The pace you set was incredible, and the ball was yours for the taking.

You weaved past her and one of the midfielders, glancing up to see Georgia’s figure near the box. Without thinking, you propelled the ball over the heads of both teams.

Wincing when it passed Stanway, you felt your shoulders collapse. Russo wasn't ready for your explosive play, only just managing to retain the ball at her feet. You sighed, running your hands through your hair when Alessia’s attempt was blocked.

You were about to run back, ready for Sweden’s possession, when the crowd suddenly flung off their seats. You were a good fifty metres away from the rest, Alessia’s figure much harder to find among the number of players congregating by the goal. You noticed Lessi run out near the corner, holding out her arms with a winning smile. Georgia soon clambered over the top of her, patting her shoulder with a matching grin.

You looked up at the scoreboard, catching onto the replay from one of the cameras. From what you could see, Alessia had backheeled the ball past the defenders, leaving the goalkeeper stranded, the ball falling easily into the goal.

Even years later, people always find your late reaction funny. Many of your teammates had already congratulated you on the assist before it all clicked for you. It was rare for a team to be dominating this much in a semi-final, and you weren't quite sure how you managed to pull off what you had just done.

You found Alessia’s shoulders and pushed up on them, swinging your legs around her waist and hugging her from behind. She squealed, pushing you off.

“You're incredible, Russo, seriously.” You screamed, out of breath from the seventy minutes of nonstop running. Less grabbed your arm and spun you round. “All because of that brilliant assist, Baby England!”

You were on such a high for the rest of the game that nothing you did was fully comprehended. You had so much faith in the team that everything moulded with so much chemistry, it was second nature. Three Swedish substitutions meant that you were bound to be taken off any minute. Leah had been holding you accountable at the back while Beth was pushing your talents forward in the middle. You were sure that this was the most you had ever run in a match. Your cheeks were flushed, your muscles were surely overworked, but you were running with so much adrenaline that it didn't affect you.

England was on the home stretch now. Keeping both offence and defence strong, making sure Sweden wasn't offered any thrilling opportunity. You heard Keira shouting directions from the other side of the pitch. Georgia was passing short, timeless passes to you. Rachel had her arm outstretched, ready to propel forward if the ball was coming her way.

You knew that Georgia was just time-wasting now. You just needed to win now, the goal difference didn't matter. You felt someone’s presence up behind you, forcing you to cross the ball back to Leah since both Gee and Kie were covered. You had been staying in the middle and towards the back end of the pitch all game, so it was a surprise when you burst forward past Sweden’s second-last line of defence. Leah had kicked it over to Lucy, who hadn't seen you leave. Georgia took the ball, marking her opponent while searching for your unknown whereabouts.

The only person to have seen you was Beth, who called for the ball and received it a second later. With one, quick, first touch, Mead sent the ball flailing over the top, towards where you were waiting, just outside the box. One of the defenders had caught on, and the goalkeeper hadn't prepared herself for your sudden attack. You watched the ball hurl a few metres to you left, leaving you no choice but to chase after it in a rush. Almost everyone was twenty metres behind, unable to come to your aid. You held your own, forgetting the people around you, and jumped just as the ball met your head. You had no idea how close the goal was, or if your header was even near where your direction was intended.

You winced at the contact of someone in your side, groaning with your arms cradling your head. The impact of the ground winded you, sending you gasping for air. But the crowd’s booms at Sheffield was enough to leave you breathless.

You had scored.

People piled on top of you one by one, yelling all sorts as you struggled to realise what you had done. Everyone was rounded, cheering, standing. You could hear Georgia swearing, and Leah telling everyone to keep their head on. You listened to Alessia and Rachel cheering with each other, and Beth pulling you up by your shoulders. Everyone collapsed into a hug around you, making it difficult for anyone to catch onto your tears.

You loved this team too much to ever let this moment go. Your tears were mixed with the sweat of the game, coating your cheeks, exhaustion setting into your shoulders. Your breath had caught up to you, but the daze was expressed.

You looked out to the crowd when Ella ran on to replace you. Everyone was on their feet, clapping boisterously as you waved them off. It was a tedious feeling that you couldn't quite shake. There wasn't a single person there that made you feel like you hadn't tried your best.

Nothing in the world could beat this feeling.

***

The celebrations of England’s win set off as soon as the full-time whistle blew. Fans rose from their seats, players crowded the pitch. You found your figure running towards Leah, tears already streaming down your face at an embarrassing rate. Your cheeks were flushed, and your body fell limb against Leah’s chest, eloping the serenity of her embrace with quiet sobs.

She held you close and tight, combing her fingers through your hair, breathing in the electric atmosphere that infiltrated the stadium. She could hear you crying into her, and she tried hard not to cry herself. She held a protective arm around your shoulders, sheltering you from the public eye as best she could. Leah looked down at her armband, feeling proud of her nation, then glanced at you, and felt even more emotion than ever before.

Over the years, Leah would find herself falling more and more defensive of you. She wanted to shield you away from the inevitable hate. She watched you grow into a spectacular player, a brilliant teammate, and a beautiful girl. Everything you did was at the discretion of the older woman, and Leah came to realise that you were somewhat of a daughter to her.

She was a Captain of her country and club. She was an idol to thousands of girls across the globe. But she was everything to you as you were to her, and that was more than enough.

“Played so well, Y/N.” She whispered into your ear, leaning down so that you could hear her over the chants.

You glanced up at her with watery eyes, clinging onto the woman and grinning. “Love you, Lee.”

“Love you, too, my girl.”

The two of you stayed like that for a little longer. Millie eventually pulled Leah into her own embrace, and you were making rounds across the field, congratulating your teammates and celebrating with them too.

England fans still banked up the stands, holding out their pens, phones and jerseys. Some people gave you some friendship bracelets, others asked you to take photos. Everyone was reeling at the huge win.

You end up finding yourself nearing a full walk around the field, and nearing the loop, where fans were starting to disperse. The last fan was a little girl in a wheelchair, with dark brown curls and green eyes. She was a little younger than you, but it was easy to fall into a conversation with her. She congratulated you, you thanked her for coming. It was by the end of your interaction that you slipped your shirt off, bringing the girl into a tight, gracious hug.

Many of the girls were already celebrating in the changing rooms. Champagne would've already been distributed. You wanted to make sure the fans were all aware that you were very thankful they were there to watch your team play. This was your first major tournament, and people commended you for always staying back. Though you didn't do it for the praise.

“If it isn't the Baby herself.” You heard someone call from behind you, causing you to turn.

You found Lucy and Sarina standing side by side, sharing big victorious smiles wider than you had ever seen. Lucy had already ushered you into a bone-crushing embrace, guiding your head into her chest — her arms wrapped around your shoulders. Sarina patted you on the back, mumbling something about performance and outcome, before you fumbled your balance against Lucy’s figure.

What you hadn't noticed until then was the man who was standing with the two women. He was not old, but not young either. His hair was dark brown, and he had a stubby beard. His posture was neat, his coat crowding his figure tightly for no cool air to leak in. If it wasn't for the intensity of the game you had just played, you would've agreed to say it was cold. But you were sweaty, fatigued, and starting to feel the effects of a semi-final.

The man was sporting a civil grin, holding his hand out for you to shake. You were completely oblivious to who he was, unable to decipher his identity from any of his features or appearance. It was only when he spoke that you heard the trail of a Spanish accent seeping through his endeavoured English.

“You are a talent, young lady.” He commended. Your cheeks flushed at the compliment, shaking it off with a bashful smile. “I must say, you are one of a kind, truly. That header was spectacular. A goal and an assist? Incredible.”

“Thank you but I couldn't have done it without the others.” You mumbled, trying to remember Jordan’s advice to keep eye contact when you were speaking to an adult. “My first half was poor. I don't think I deserve the recognition when my opportunities weren't used wisely.”

“Oh, shut your mouth.” Lucy scoffed, ruffling your hair. “I can remember my first Euros. I definitely didn't score off a header from outside of the box, that's for sure.”

“You're the best defender, I know.” You replied hastily, trying to reiterate the fact that you were pretty much a forward, and it was expected that you were to score.

Lucy sighed, shaking her head. “Bet you wouldn't say that in front of Leah.”

“Oh, wait!” Your mouth fell slightly agape. “Don't tell her I said that.”

The three adults chuckled from around you, making your cheeks go a little more red.

“I must agree.” The man stepped forward, shoving his hands that were once crossed over his chest into his pockets. From there, you caught sight of the Barcelona emblem embedded in his jacket.

Your face must've given away your realisation. “You're Jonathan? Barca’s head coach?!”

Lucy laughed harder than before, looking at the two coaches with the click of her tongue. “I told ‘ya she wouldn't recognize him.”

“I am,” Jona replied. You shook his hand for the second time that night. “You seem to be surprised at that.”

“What? Oh! No, um.” You became a nervous wreck. “I just, oh my god, does that mean you know Alexia Putellas?”Despite your North London spirit, there was no doubt that there was a fangirl within you at the knowledge of the Spanish team. You had grown up with the greats in Barca, and almost everyone in the England squad knew of your explicit crush on a certain Spanish captain, who just so happened to play for Barca.

“I mean, she is the captain, so you’d hope so.” Jona chuckled. “In fact, I was talking to her just a few hours ago. We were discussing the transfer season and some new contracts coming up.”

You instantly looked up at Lucy, who rolled her eyes at your oblivion. Sarina shook her head, glancing at you knowingly while Jona sighed in deliberation.

“I'm sure you have mulled over some of the offers you have been given from some of the clubs, no? I heard from somewhere that Chelsea are outbidding Arsenal.”

“Oh.” The thought of a professional contract, and making a denounced decision was long a foreign concept to you at that moment. You were presented with the complexity of the question, and could only shrug in response.

Jona reciprocated your affliction. “It is always a tough decision to make. But you have a very bright career in front of you. Everyone is expecting great, great things.��

“I'm tossing up between Arsenal and Chelsea.” You admitted. “They are my best offers.”

“You think so?” Jona looked complex, his eyebrows rising. When you nodded, he tutted, his head low. “Sarina and I were just questioning the fee being offered… or lack thereof.”

Your back straightened. “What do you mean?”

“300k for a three-year contract is hardly reasonable for a player like you.” He stated, rolling his sleeves up with a grin. Lucy and Sarina were in quiet conversation to the side, still active in what you were discussing but in their exclusive bubble.

“If I were to put in my bid, it’d be at least 800 thousand.” He continued. Your eyes nearly budged out of their sockets, unable to reply. “But it’d end up being just short of a million with the transfer fee.”

“My academy contract ends in two weeks.” The money Jona had just described was unattainable from your perception. “I'm just glad I got the offers in the first place. Your bid is too generous.”

There was no way you, a youth player, and academy girl who wasn't even had a club debut, was expected to be worth that much. He must've been pulling your leg, taking the piss like Tooney often did. It was not in the slightest chance that you began to unravel the weight of Jona’s words, and his intention behind the conversation you were just having.

“Are you saying you wouldn't accept it?” He asked.

You were so fucking dumbfounded that you started to laugh.

“You could offer me a job for nothing and I would take it.” There was a joking tone behind your statement, but you knew that there was an entire truth planted within your declaration. “Not that you would, but yeah, of course I would. The only thing I’d contemplate is learning the language.”

“I can get you a tutor.” He responded. “And the girls are lovely.”

You swooned just at the thought of the Barcelona team. “You're just being mean now.”

Jonathon looked at you in confusion. Lucy had overheard the last of your conversation, with Sarina off to find someone else. She scoffed, finding your idiocy a painful trait of yours. You glanced between the two of them, waiting for them to continue the blasted joke of you joining the best team in the world. You waited for them to ask you how Chelsea Blue was going to look on you, of if Academy was where you wanted to stay. Hell, you were expecting them to ask when you were moving into your own apartment due to the absurdity of Jona’s hypothetical posing.

But they stood there looking at you in silence. They were waiting for you to catch on.

And you did. Even if it was after several long moments of pause and silence. Even if you had dropped your jaw to the floor in utter shock, simply not believing that what was happening was actually happening. The thought of playing for a single minute was eradicated from your mind, instead replaced with a newfound excitement that left you jumping up and down.

There was no way, you thought. Nothing could've prepared you for this.

All thoughts of Chelsea, of Arsenal, were gone. Letting the news transfer to Leah was a distant memory.

You were no longer hesitating about what anyone else thought about where you would go. There was not an ounce of regret in your body that screamed out to you, telling you to think this over for even a second. You were not want to wait, to talk, to act, you were just waiting for this all to be a dream.

You knew that this was an inevitable choice. A feeling so right, so just, full of hope and solidarity, clung to you as you shook Jona’s hand yet again. Not filling registering his words, skimming over the implications of it all, aimlessly giving him your Agent’s number. It was all a blur from there.

It did not matter the money that went into the contract, or the financial gain that would equip you throughout the three years you were about to live in Barcelona. Nothing else mattered except the smile on your face, and the righteousness in your chest.

With the win of your National Team, you home, and the club you were bound towards, there was nothing stopping the bounce in your stride.

_________________

arsenalacademy

liked by babyengland, milliebright, and 207,367 others

arsenalacademy — After a standout performance in the Euros so far, Arsenal Academy Star, and England’s youngest, Baby England has signed a record-breaking fee of $3 Million, for a three-year contract with reigning Champions, Barcelona FC.

“I'm excited for this new opportunity. The Euros are massive, and winning with the girls against Sweden was a privilege I still can't put into words…

I have to thank Arsenal for making me the player I am, because they have taught me so many things, and I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for them.

I also want to thank Jordan, Leah, and all the Lionesses for helping me with this. They have always wanted the best for me, and I couldn't have done it without them.”

The fifteen-year-old will begin training with the Spainish Team for the 22/23 season effective immediately.

Congratulations on this new chapter!

Tagged: yourusername

Comments:

soccerdonna — New Update: Chelsea had outbid Arsenal by $150k, and Barca by an extra 200k, as well as an increase in salary, which is negotiable.

User7 — I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA ANNOUNCE IT AFTER THE EUROS

^ user8 — WHEN HAS MY GIRL HAD TIME FOR THIS

^ user112 — FR MY GIRL’S FIFTEEN, A STUDENT, A FULL TIME ATHLETE, AND A BABYGIRL LIKE PLS

User5 — JONATAN WAS AT THE GAMES AGAINST SPAIN AND SWEDEN!!!! MAYBE THATS WHEN

^ user90 — THAT’S SO SOON THO HOW COULD HE HAVE DONE IT

ingridengen — welcome 🩷

*liked by yourusername

racheldaly — no villa talk 🤣 see you on the pitch soon chook 🩷

^ yourusername — thank you Rach 🙃

user6 — FIRST LUCY AND NOW BABY ENGLAND! WHO’S NEXT, KEIRA????

alessiarusso — big things!!!! proud of you like crazy 🙌🏼

^ yourusername — love you lessi bear 🧸

user1 — are you fucking kidding me? ARSENAL WHY DIDNT YOU KEEP HERRRRR

^ user67 — THE FACT THAT THEY WERE ONE OF THE LOWEST BIDDERS UGH

alexiaputellas — Bienvenido, guapa!

^ yourusername — omg ily

^ user77 — shes so real

user23 — I'm in mourning.

user8 — WHAT ABOUT LEAH

^ user4 — AND JORDAN

^ user7 — SHE WAS OUR ARSENAL BABY

jordannobbs — big things coming! So proud of you! 💙❤️

* liked by yourusername

user37 — the fact that we all thought she was going to chelsea

^ user27 — she really had us all fooled

leahwilliamson — smash it, my girl!

^ yourusername — love you lee 🤍

^ user78 — screaming into my pillow I cannot deal with this hurt.

^ user99 — I need to know if she told Leah before or after she signed 😭

^ user12 — the edits about to go crazy

^ user8 — “let's not forget, that no matter where she goes, Baby England will always be Arsenal.”

barcelonafemeni — Stargirl 🌟

^ user4 — you don't deserve her.

^ user90 — SALT IN THE WOUND

^ user3 — Idk about the rest of you, but I cannot wait to see her in the home jersey

^ user6 — ur the only one.

Lionesses — baby england growing up too fast 🥲

user5 — I'm still so confused on how she signed a contract in the middle of the fucking euros

^ user64 — it practically meant that Barca would've not only had to pay her the contract, but also pay Arsenal a transfer fee

^ user65 — I might be crazy but wouldn't that make her the most expensive transfer? With both the transfer money and the contract

^ user5 — it adds up to be just under $1 million 😀

georgiastanway — congratulations!!!!!!

^ yourusername — thanks gee!

ellatoone — you would've looked better in Manchester 😒

^ ellatoone — jkjk look at youuuuu 🩷

*liked by yourusername

____________________

A/N — HA! You thought she’d go to Chelsea… yeah right. Hope you enjoyed!

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🌈 2 Days Until my Surgery 🌈

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ I finished up most of the story yesterday so today I'll queerness bc it's pride month under the cut! 🌈🌈🌈

But you can read through my journey starting here

First, let's talk about this outfit. Yes, I bought the shorts and top at Spencer's and honestly you can easily find someone who matches it at a large enough pride event. But, it's hard for me to not be sentimental about it. Especially since I wore it at least once the last three years.

(Pictures taken June 11, 2022 and June 10, 2023)

And you can see how it and I have subtly changed these last three years of my transition. (Too bad I didn't have for my first year of transition but such is life 🤷‍♀️). And every year I get excited to wear it again!

Because being queer means a lot to me. I wasn't one of those people who always knew they were queer. But, I never felt connected to my cishet peers either. It's odd looking back and thinking about how my normal group of friends were cishet but at things like summer camp and then college I would quickly make friends with queer people. I really wanted to be like them but couldn't know why because I felt like I didn't deserve to be as cool and free as them.

But, when I let myself dive head into queerness I finally realized that I queer people are mostly awkward nerds and all of them just want to live their lives as fully honestly themselves. And that I could relate to. And that's what made it easy for me "to rip off the band-aid" and transition. It's what let me walk out into a world where I knew I would get hateful stares because I knew I wasn't alone. And seeing how other queer people's eyes light up when they see me showed me I made the right decision because I made them feel less alone too.

And making friends in the queer community is so much easier than in the cishet community. Because there's a lot more likelihood that they'll understand your awkwardness and admire your weirdness. I said earlier that I had gone to a few house parties and actually enjoyed myself for the first time. I think the best way to show why is this anecdote. I remember being in this circle of people standing around awkwardly silent and then someone said "I'm autistic and house parties make me uncomfortable can someone start talking?" and someone replied with how they felt the same way and how they felt the same way and then a conversation started about how hard parties are and social interactions in general but we were glad to be here and to try to connect with people.

And I love studying queer history a lot. Mostly because I'm curious how I would fit in to a time/culture in history. But also I love seeing how we don't fit in existed and how society understood our non-conformity. We have always existed. Queerness is part of the human condition.

The queer community is far from perfect. We all come from very different backgrounds and often have biases we need to work on. But, it's worth it to carve out your place in the community and to find people who understand and support you and to reciprocate for them. Because the alternative is being alone.

And we all deserve to feel loved, in whatever form you need. And because I'm feeling sentimental so here's a picture of me and my love 🥲

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I have one last update before my surgery tomorrow where I'll look towards the future ✨

Next part

[sweetiepoison]

Famous Baby (Social Media Blurb)

It all started with posts you added to your instagram story. Your fans immediately began flooding your dms with questions about why you’re in Toronto.

You of course have friends that live in the city but since speculation has begun about you and a certain NHL player, it’s hard to believe you’re there just visiting friends.

Some news outlets started reporting that you were in Toronto with Shawn, “rekindling” your relationship. They used the fact that you went to his show months before and pictures taken of the two of you at the Drew House party.

You post two more pictures to your insta story during the leafs game which had everyone going crazy.

Fan#1: (y/n) really said let me make it clear who my man is

Fan#2: No fr, the Matthews jersey in the second pic she posted like girl….you aren’t being subtle

Fan#3: (y/n) as a wag is what 2024 needed

-> Fan#4: Can you imagine being a wag for the leafs and now (y/f/n) (y/l/n) is also one and you get to hang out with her!

->Fan#5: She would be the ultimate wag!

Fan#6: Steph Marner posted a picture of the game to her insta story and she tagged (y/n)

->Fan#7: STOP! Mitch and Auston are best friends and now we’ll get (y/n) and Steph as best friends!

Fan#8: apparently some fans went up to her during the game and she was super sweet and took pictures

->Hater#1: people were saying she wasn’t wearing his jersey like that’s so unsupportive

->Fan#9: She doesn’t need to wear his jersey to be supportive like gtfo 😤

@yourusername: Lover girl 💙🤍

Load more comments….

Fan#1: I know ya’ll also saw Auston’s post 👀

->Fan#2: They aren’t even trying to hide it

->Fan#3: fr the matching captions, the hearts being the leafs colors…might as well just tell us

Fan#4: I’m so happy that she’s happy!

Fan#5: I know that tattooed arm!!

Mitchmarner: Just move here already

->yourusername: Can I stay at your place?

->Mitchmarner: yeah you can sleep between Steph and I

->stephmarner: she’s actually taking your spot in our bed 🤷‍♀️

-> yourusername: say less…bags are packed

Fan#6: NOOO!!! It should be you and Harry!! If you ever loved him you would get back together

->Fan#7: Can people move on and accept reality like it’s so weird

->Fan#8: I loved her and Harry, but obviously it wasn’t meant to be and we can’t bash her for moving on with her life

Yourbff#1: It’s giving soft launch

Youbff#2: It’s giving my man my man my man

->yourusername: You two will always be my #1’s no matter what 💖

@AustonMatthews: Lover boy 😮‍💨

Load more comments…

Fan#1: Alexa play that should be me

->Fan#2: Idk who I want to be more Auston or (y/n)

->Fan#3: No bc you are so real for that

Fan#4: It has to be (y/n), she’s worn those sweats before during tour rehearsals

Fan#6: oh he’s down bad for her

->Morganrielly: horrendously bad

Mitchmarner: World’s biggest simp

->Fan#7: the confirmation we’re getting from all their friends in the comments is crazy 🤯

->Fan#8: no literally there was probably a pr meeting they were supposed to attend and obviously no one showed up 💀😭

Hater#1: this is gonna be terrible for his game, she’s just gonna be a distraction

->Fan#9: she literally has a whole life and career outside of him. Like she doesn’t even have the time to be a distraction

->Fan#10: she’s the best distraction to have

->Fan#11: tell me your a hater and desperate without telling me your a hater

Fan#12: Kinda random, but I love that their styles compliment each other

->Fan#13: I was thinking the same thing! I love the lowkey matching

Fan#14: I love that (y/n) was trying to be subtle and Auston was like “no I’m showing off my girl”

Fan#15: hand her back to @harrystyles

Multi-Grammy winning pop star, (y/f/n) (y/l/n) and NHL superstar, Auston Matthews have fans speculating (and fangirling) about a possible romance between the two. While we haven’t seen a picture of the two together, back and forth posts across social media platforms have fans suspecting there might be something more than friendship there.

It’s believed the two met through mutual friend, Justin Bieber. And while we don’t know exactly when it’s clear they started becoming closer at the beginning of this year, starting with the NHL all star games. (Y/n) attended the weekend in Toronto with friends to support Bieber who was a celebrity captain alongside Matthews.

The 7 Rings singer who has been on her world tour since the summer took a break before going overseas and seems to have spent a majority of that break in Toronto.

(Y/n) posted on her instagram story at a Toronto Maple Leafs game this past weekend as they took on the Edmonton Oilers at Scotiabank arena. One post in particular caught fans eyes. At first glance it’s simple enough, a glass of wine at the game, but fans focused on the fact that also featured in the picture was a fan in front of her with a Matthews jersey on, possible a tribute to her new relationship.

When asked about (y/l/n)’s attendance following his 2 point game, Mathew’s gave up very little info. “Yeah she decided to come to a game, but so did a few thousand other people.” Auston continued, “She’s an extremely popular celebrity who is insanely talented so I’m not surprised she received a lot of attention.”

He shut down further conversation about the pair’s relationship status by saying, “I’m not going to talk about my personal life. I know what you want me to say, but it’s not my place to speak for or about her without her permission.” When asked by another reporter if (y/l/n) reached out to him about his goals or the teams win he responded, “And that’s gonna wrap it up here” ending the press conference altogether.

Later in the week the two posted to Instagram within hours of each other and fans pointed out that many of the pictures are similar. (Y/n)’s post included a boat ride featuring the Toronto skyline. Auston was a little bit more bold as his post also included a boat ride with the Toronto skyline and kissing girl but her face can’t be seen. They also had similar captions with (y/n)’s being “lover girl” and Auston’s being “lover boy”.

While they are giving away very little, we along with the rest of the world are excited about this possibly new couple.

[lqveharrington]

Silver Roses & Fallen Snow

11: The Manipulation (series masterlist)

summary: University finally began. You and Coriolanus fall into a routine that has you wondering if he’s really trying to gain your trust back or not.

pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

includes: awkward silences, manipulation, mentions of death, death, mentions of murder, murder, gun use, shooting someone, paranoia cursing

wc: 3.5k+

a/n: so sorry for getting this out so late, i don’t even know if people still read this 😭🤷‍♀️

Coriolanus knew that convincing Adam Lovett to let him near you again during his wife’s death anniversary was borderline manipulative, but he had already spoken to Festus about it and offered his father a generous amount of money if he backed out of the arrangement, which they did. Not all that surprising.

His intentions weren’t to date you right off the bat, he wanted to slowly gain that trust back. Coriolanus wasn’t stupid. He knew you were going to get upset over the new arrangement, but how upset could you get when you still harbored feelings for him? At least he believed you did. That one boy he would see around you threw him for a loop. What was his name again? Flynn?

Luckily, University classes finally began and he knew you had more important things to worry about rather than his own plan and his treatment of your father. Besides, he wanted to get some more information before bothering you about the whole trust thing.

The routine you and Coriolanus fell into was the first thing that felt natural to the both of you in so long. It felt like comfort despite the painful tension. He would pick you up from the manor, walk you to and from your classes, and bring you back in time for dinner. It was like the beginning of a long dance you thought was over.

“What time are your classes done today?” Coriolanus fixed the cuffs he wore and adjusted the grip he had on his textbooks. His gaze drifted over to you, watching you fiddle with your mother’s necklace.

“Four. I have to stay behind and research for a paper I’ve been assigned way too early in the school year.” You murmur and meet his eyes. For a split second, you swore you saw the old person Coriolanus was. “Is Dr. Gaul keeping you late today?”

Coriolanus checked his watch as he began to slow his walk, eventually standing in front of your classroom. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your hair, causing your cheeks to flare in embarrassment. “No, I’ll be done by the time you are. She’s only checking my paper today.”

“Okay.” You sigh softly and look at his collarbone for the nth time this week.

The necklace he wore seemingly teased you every chance it took. You didn’t know if you were ever getting it back, and just staring at it gave you a fresh wave of calmness. There were several times you hinted to him that you wanted it back, especially with whatever arrangement he and your father conjured up behind your back. But nothing ever happened.

Coriolanus raised his brows at your gaze. He knew what you wanted, but he would use it when the time came. For now, you could have your mother’s necklace and he could keep yours. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.”

“Later, Coryo.” You murmur and part from him, only to fall into step with none other than Clemensia Dovecote. From the corner of your eye, you saw her send Coriolanus a confused look before coming over to you. “Clemmie.”

Clemensia gave you a smile before messing with her skirt, huffing at the texture. “How is it a new school and we still get tacky uniforms like from the Academy?” The dark blue and black made her recoil as if the Academy red was the only thing she liked. “Honestly…”

“It’s a new look. We actually have skirts now.” You hold your own textbooks close to your chest before taking a seat in the theatre-like room. Almost every room in the University was as big as a theatre, yet only a few students could attend every year. What a waste of money.

“Not that much of a difference.” She muttered and took her seat beside you. She took a second to recompose herself before turning to face you, eyes sparkling in interest. “How are you and Coriolanus?”

You blink at the sudden question before reaching up for your necklace, “Uhm, I don’t know. We’re okay.”

“You don’t know?” She furrowed her brows in confusion and studied you with eyes like a hawk. Clemensia knew not to pry so much, but she was there when they got together and was the main reason they eventually got together. She deemed it was also her business.

“He’s been… It seems like he’s trying too hard to gain my trust again.” You murmur and lean back into the creaking chair. You loved him for so long it was hard to not trust him. He was yours for so long that the smallest things he could do now only irked you.

Clemensia frowned, “Is that not good?”

“Something’s off about it, and I’m not sure if I’m just being paranoid or if it’s just weird not to run back into his arms after everything we went through.” You say quietly as your heart wept in your chest. All you ever wanted was Coriolanus and when he broke that trust, it was hard to get back to normality without the painful tension you both felt every time.

“Or maybe he really wants to make things right.” She spoke slowly, getting your attention back from falling deep into your mind. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” You sigh and stare at your hands.

Clemensia had implanted a thought in your head. It followed you around the entire day like a mind bomb. So maybe Coriolanus truly was trying to make things right. However, you couldn't help but feel like something was going on. It was like a small seed of doubt was planted in the back of your mind that kept repeating that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Like he was going to do everything but that moral he had stripped away from him as a child. The same morals you had to teach him before he discarded them because he got involved in the Hunger Games. Who knew if he even had those morals still. You didn’t have the energy to teach him something he might look over any day.

“How was your day?” Coriolanus asked as you exited the library with more books than you came in with. He took the books from your arms and held them, nodding when you sent him a thankful smile.

“It was good. I got most of my work done today.” You flex your hands. The same ones itching to intertwine them with the ones next to you. “How was Gaul?”

“Horrible as always.” He muttered under his breath, somewhat terrified of being heard by the stupid birds. Even in the Capitol, he didn’t feel as safe as before.

You sigh and mess with your necklace, “I don’t understand why you still put up with her, Coriolanus.”

“It was the only way for me to get out of the Districts.” He spoke with a defensive tone, eyes hardening at old memories resurfacing. “It was the only way for me to get back.”

Choosing to stay silent, you followed the concrete path down the University campus, still playing with your necklace. Coriolanus pursed his lips and mentally cursed himself. He hated when you got quiet on him, it was one thing you kept from your childhood. He wasn’t sure if it was your own defense mechanism or not.

“What are you doing later?” He held a hand out for you as you descended the stairs, your soft hand in his. For a quick moment in time, you both felt your hearts beat louder than usual. As fast as it arrived, it left when you pulled your hand away.

You cleared your throat and felt the heat creep up your neck. “Uhm, I might go down to the gym and box with Finn. I’m not sure though.”

“I thought you were done with that?” Coriolanus’ face hardened at the mention of the other male, his free hand clenching at his side. So that’s what his name is. Finn. Coriolanus would have to visit him later. Preferably when you weren’t present and he actually had a plan for what he would do.

“Just because school started doesn’t mean I have to stop working on my form. Besides, I need to talk to him about… You know.” You wave a hand around in the hope he would get what you were insinuating.

“Right.” Coriolanus nodded and adjusted the books in his hold. “How is that going?”

You look down at your shoes and open your mouth before closing them. There wasn’t much happening, and now that you were starting school, you couldn’t put all your time and effort into your plan to avenge Sejanus. “Well, it’s been… It’s been going.”

That’s when the idea hit Coriolanus. He could hit two birds with one stone. “Well, I think I have information for you. I just have to confirm it.”

“Really? Do you actually have plausible information for me?” You ask in disbelief, eyes wide in interest. You had stopped walking and squinted at him, looking for any kind of distrust in his eyes.

He tucks another loose strand of hair behind your ear, watching you instantly melt but conceal it was a straight face. “If I can confirm it.” And from your straight face, your eyes lit up, causing him to let a small smile slide.

“Coryo, that’s amazing! If you can confirm it, then hopefully all of this wouldn’t be for nothing.” You let out a breath of relief. You were thinking about your whole plan to find out what truly happened to Sejanus and how it seemed so wrong to do. Now that Coriolanus had information that could possibly help, you could push forward. “Make sure to come and tell me, alright?”

“Of course.”

You were at Finn’s bakery, patiently waiting for Coriolanus to come by. He told you to meet him there since he had another business to attend nearby. You told him it was completely fine as you had Finn to talk to, but he wasn’t at the bakery either.

So you sat alone with a small hot chocolate and a croissant, watching the people walking by the bakery’s windows. You imagined different stories for each person. How their lives were so much better than yours. They probably didn’t grieve for the loss of the tributes or complicated relationships.

Just as you checked the time one last time, the bell above the door rang and your eyes zeroed in on Coriolanus’ blue ones. You scanned his figure and noticed that his clothes were rumpled and sweat-coated his brows.

“Did you just come back from a run?” You hand him your handkerchief.

“No, but I did gather the information for you.” He sent you a tired smile as you found interest in what he had to say. “I know someone who aided in the murder of Sejanus.”

Your heart clenched, your fingers messing with your mother’s necklace. “Who?”

“You won’t like it, beautiful. You already know him better than Sejanus did.”

Your face fell and your heart sped up. There were only a few people who Sejanus spoke to in the Capitol, you and Coriolanus were his closest. So who would… No, it couldn’t be him…

“Phineas Miller helped Sejanus’ murder,” Coriolanus murmured.

At first, all you wanted to do was cry. You wanted to cry at how much Sejanus’ death impacted you and how Finn might be involved. You didn’t believe it. Finn was nothing but caring, he had Sejanus’ word, handwritten and everything. You needed physical proof, which was something Coriolanus didn’t have.

A week after you found out about how Finn could be involved in Sejanus’ murder, you and Coriolanus decided to look around the gym for any indication and information. You knew Finn spent most of his time at the gym, so it would make sense if he hid something away at the place.

It was already close to midnight when you arrived at the place and all the lights were shut off except for the lights outside. You and Coriolanus slipped inside the gym and before you could leave his side to check the office, he placed a gun in your hands.

Stunned, you look up at him. “Coriolanus—“

“Just in case, okay? I doubt you’ll have to use it.”

You purse your lips and nod, placing your fingers on the safety as he instructed. He left for the file cabinets by the boxing ring while you entered the main office with an off feeling.

It wasn’t right to do this to one of your friends, but you had to know if Coriolanus was right. Besides, you’ve done worse. When you couldn’t find anything, you sighed and let your hand hang.

You bounded from the office feeling slightly dejected. Sure, it was wrong to snoop, but it couldn’t hurt just to make sure everything seemed okay with Finn. “Coriolanus, I checked his office! I don’t think he’s— What are you doing?”

“Oh, thank god! Y/N, this man is crazy!” Finn shouted toward you, completely ignoring what the scene looked like.

Your eyes drifted to the ground, spotting Coriolanus blocking himself from the gun being pointed at him. Furrowing your brows, you raced to Coriolanus and pulled him back., frowning when he winced.

“What the fuck happened?” You asked and looked between the two of them, eyes wide in confusion and terror.

“He tried to shoot me!” Finn screamed like a lunatic, his own eyes crazed in fear and adrenaline. “He’s playing with your mind, Y/N!”

Your heart started to beat louder and louder, “Finn, Coriolanus didn’t have a gun. He gave the gun to me.”

“What? No! No, he tried to shoot me with this gun!” He waved the gun in front of your face, making you stumble backward. “Do you think I’m lying? Do you think I’m trying to shoot your boyfriend?”

“Kinda.” You step in front of Coriolanus and help him up. “Finn…”

“No no no, do you think I did this?” He threw his arms in the arm, pointing the gun at you and Coriolanus again. “I would never violate your trust or Sejanus’. Do you really think I helped plan his murder?”

Your eyes glanced around the gym, landing on a file of papers. “What’s that?”

Finn turned his head and scoffed, “Those are your records with the gym.”

“Can I see them?” You ask before taking them out of his hands. “Thank you…”

You opened the manila file and sirens instantly went off in your head. These weren’t just your files. These were every single thing you did and the letters you sent to Sejanus. Everything related to you was in a singular folder.

“When did you get these?” You hold up the letters, tears springing to your eyes. “These belonged to Sejanus! I sent them to him when he was in the districts?”

“That wasn’t in there before, I don’t know what those are.” Finn glared at Coriolanus, pointing the gun at him again. “You’re framing me!”

”I’m not the one with a gun and screaming like a lunatic, Miller.” Coriolanus spoke slowly, stepping in front of you. He knew Finn wouldn’t shoot, but you didn’t know that with how hard you were clutching the gun he gave you. “Why don’t you just put the gun down and explain where you got this stuff on Y/N.”

“That’s not my fucking shit!” He screamed at the both of you and waved the gun around again. “I don’t know how it got in your files, but believe me, I would never violate—“

“Did you help the people from the districts commit Sejanus’ murder?” You whisper out, hand shaking as Finn shouts again in protest. This was the most riled-up you saw him, and it didn’t help that he had a gun pointed toward Coriolanus. “Finn—“

“You’re letting him manipulate you!” He let out a crazed laugh. “You believe your boyfriend’s a fucking saint? For trying to help you out with the case? You couldn’t just wait to get back to him, is that it? Because I’ve seen more restless nights of you crying over that piece of shit.”

Coriolanus looked back at you and his eyes instantly hardened at the sight of your tears. “Miller, stop it.”

“Why should I? I’m the only one being sensible right now!” He held the gun steady. “You need to get the fuck away from her before she cries more tears over you. I know who you are.”

“And what am I?” Coriolanus stepped away from you and kept eye contact with Finn.

Finn held his gaze, keeping his gun trained to follow Coriolanus. “A manipulator who would do anything to get back on top again.” He could see the shift in Coriolanus’ demeanor as he said it, keeping his distance despite the advantage. “You cheated in the games. And from what I heard, you did such a good job in making sure the peacekeepers in District Twelve. And what exactly did you do to get sent straight back to the Capitol rather than a higher district, hm?”

You listened to him, glancing at Coriolanus with wet eyes. All you knew was that he did his job and Dr. Gaul wanted to see him work for the games again. And you also knew both boys had a temper, so if one of them got too riled up, it was going to end up being a mess.

“I received perfect scores on my aptitude tests.” Coriolanus shrugged. He could feel the heat from your stare, knowing he had to play his cards right. “The general informed the higher districts and word spread back to the Capitol.”

“Are you sure?” Finn stepped around the ring. “Because usually being promoted to the Capitol means doing something so extraordinary. Let’s say, oh I don’t know, sending someone to their death. Someone who was also a peacekeeper. Someone like your supposed best friend, Sejanus Plinth.”

Your heart broke at the mention of Sejanus. Finn accusing Coriolanus only made it worse. You knew Coriolanus and Sejanus were the closest of friends, his reasoning wasn’t adding up.

“You think I sent Sejanus off to his death? He was my best friend!” Coriolanus threw his hands in the air, his tone defensive. “But you probably knew I didn’t do it. You just needed someone to throw the blame on.”

“Excuse me?”

Coriolanus let his facade fall for the smallest of seconds, a smirk decorated his bruised face. “You know a lot more than you let Y/N know. You knew about Sejanus’ plans even before she did, and how exactly did you know?”

Your fingers tightened around the gun’s handle. Coriolanus didn’t tell you anything else about Finn’s story except that he might be involved in Sejanus’ death, and he sounded like he would explain his whole life story.

He gestured toward the files, “By intercepting the mail and copying each letter. And it isn’t hard to intercept the mail when you’re district, Phineas Miller. You knew people on the inside, which gave you everything you needed to stop Sejanus before he could ruin your chances in the Capitol. You shouldn’t even be in the Capitol without the proper paperwork.”

The silence that stretched between the three of you was thick, each pair of eyes darting across the room in light of the new information. Coriolanus had ended up right back in front of you, half his body covering your view of Finn; who looked like he was going to shoot Coriolanus at the first given chance.

“You know, you really shouldn’t have said that.” Finn let out a humorless laugh and put his hands in the air. “Here I thought you were a manipulator. I mean, you are. But you’re so much more than that. You’re just so possessive over what belongs to you. You like being in control. You’re a fucking tyrant and fucking crazy.”

Your eyes instantly caught the look in Finn’s eyes and the way his hand tightened on the trigger. “Coriolanus…”

“The only reason the Hunger Games exist is because of people like you. People who think torturing others is fun.” Finn shrugged and made eye contact with Coriolanus, his eyes burning with nothing other than rage. “Well, I’d like to think I’m doing this country a favor.”

Finn pointed the gun at Coriolanus.

The gun dropped to the floor and his body, Finn’s body, dropped onto the gym floor. Blood pooled underneath him as you stared wide-eyed at him.

Your body was shaking as Coriolanus held your face in his hands, speaking to you but none of it was coming through. Coriolanus himself was bleeding from Finn’s initial bullet, but it was a graze. He was more focused on you and how you would handle everything that just happened.

“Hey, I need you to listen, beautiful.” Coriolanus looked between your eyes and tried to find anything that would tell him you were listening. “It’s not your fault, okay? We need to go and let the peacekeepers handle this. Can you do that?”

You nod but your eyes are trained on Finn’s lifeless body. His death was in your hands.

What have you done?

taglist: @peterparkerluvvbot @nathaslosthershit @springholland @psychicpuppyarcade @whodis-26 @coconut-dreamz @slytherinholland @lacysversion @perks-of-being-jojo @itzmeme @noodlesketchbook @upsidedownjill @mizuki80 @unclecrunkle @tiaamberxx @bxtchopolis @starrynightstory @namelesslosers @lugiastark @dangelnleif @aemondsb1tch @witchsbitchestime @ace-spades-1 @ordinarylokix @kookie29 @secretsicanthideanymore @angelscrime @ms-longbeach @rosieleej @alpha-mommy69 @loklaufeysonssgodess @aoi-targaryen @imaginebeingmentallystable @sighsophiia @innercreationflower @cascadingbliss @edb954 @castellandiangelo @nowitsmissing @lookclosernow @httpfandxms @goobitagoobre @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @captainbabybear @becauseseaotters @mvdhvtterxx @moonisu @boredperson120 @kuroosbby001 @dcylight-fciry (comment to be added!)

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[sophieinwonderland]

I don’t even know how to respond more articulately to this person. You don’t have to answer my ask if you don’t have the spoons btw. So this person posted a TikTok in response to my previous comment to not invalidate people’s experiences on a pro endo video that that person put an anti comment in. Here’s the link:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8GFtegk/

Here’s my reply but idk what to say really. I probably sound stupid. Plus I think someone mentioned you in the comments section there too.

I think this is a fine answer. Although I might have added that there are other sources that do confirm endogenic plurality. And even the DSM references it in the form of possession states.

Although if you want, I guess I could go into the video a bit more in-depth.

Actually, yeah, it sounds kind of fun! 😁

Let's get into it then!

Thank you for that! Although I'm confused why you think explaining this so we can understand involves a robot reading in a whispery demonic murder voice.

How are you defining a "system?"

If this is going to be a semantic argument about how endos aren't technically systems because "system" is a DID/OSDD word then I'll point out that endogenic systems have called themselves systems since the 90s. And Internal Family Systems therapy has been around since the 80s, referring to people having multiple autonomous parts of their personality. The word has always been pretty open, even in this context.

If you read closely within the DSM-5, you will find exemptions for spiritual plurality in the form of possession states.

I believe this exemption can be found in "carteria" D.

And remember that the DSM-5 isn't the only diagnostic handbook in the world and the ICD-11 states that you can experience multiple "distinct personality states" without a disorder. This is the same wording the ICD-11 uses to refer to alters.

And endogenic plurality was originally referred to as "natural multiplicity" which has existed since the 90s.

Additionally, Kluft speculated in 2001 that there could be a nonpathological endogenous forms of dissociative identity disorder.

Wait... commit what?

A felony?

Commit to marriage?

Just... commit in general? Don't leave me hanging!

Oh wait, you were going to throw out the S-word, right? "Don't say endogenic systems exist or some DID system might unalive themselves." 🙄

This is fearmongering BS and emotional manipulation.

DID systems aren't going to be "harass" because people acknowledge endogenic systems exist. These things have nothing to do with the other. People were fakeclaimed and harassed for being systems long before the internet was a thing, and there's no indication the presence of endogenic systems has contributed to this in any way.

Come on! I already showed you the ICD-11 and the quote from Kluft. I swear, it's like you're not even reading what I wrote. 😔

But sure. How about Eric Yarbrough, Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, in a book reviewed and published by the APA themselves?

Is that enough for you?

I could go on, but you did only ask for one. 🤷‍♀️

Actually, you know, as a bonus, I will just link to Varieties of tulpa Experiences. Written by a psychiatry professor at McGill University, and published by the highly-reputable Oxford University Press.

Repeatedly asserting something doesn't make it true.

This appears to be vaguely referencing the theory of structural dissociation.

Assuming it is, I'll point out that even the creators of this theory have stated that it may be possible for someone to have multiple self-conscious dissociated parts of the personality from things other than trauma. Such as in hypnosis and mediumship.

No. No it's not.

Didn't you imply that you had read the DSM-5 earlier? Because while trauma is highly associated with DID, trauma certainly isn't in the "carteria." Nor is it in the criteria either.

And while it does mention that studies have shown that upwards of 90% of DID cases are linked with trauma, there are no such statements made for studies into OSDD.

Please, tell me what culture is supposedly being appropriated by just believing in the very concept of mediumship and possession?

This is something that exists in nearly every single culture on the planet in some form or another. (Some positive, some negative.) Nobody owns it. And you can't just say literally all spiritual systems are appropriating a culture by virtue of being spiritual.

By that logic, you may as well say reality shifters are appropriating every culture that believed dreams would take you to other worlds.

[ageless-aislynn]

For 10 years, my fic with by far the most hits on AO3 was "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)."

And I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong. I think it actually contains some of my better writing. 🤷‍♀️ But it ended up being a one-off sort of thing: I thought I'd write more Olicity or Arrow in general and then just... didn't.

However, it was so far ahead of all of my other fics in hits, I figured nothing would ever challenge it for the top spot. I hadn't checked my stats in quite a while and so I was surprised to discover that the "Five Times" Olicity fic was now in second place.

I've written 114 fics in the Flash fandom and none of them have remained in my top 5, that was another surprise! But 3 of my 11 Halo fics now are: "15 Minutes," (John/female reader) "Side Effects" (John/Cortana, John/Kai, very NSFW) and "Recreation" (Kai/male reader, same world as "15 Minutes").

Now, why is any of that important? It's for the sheer fact that I don't write sci-fi military fiction well AT ALL. My interest has always been in the more domestic and romantic themes, for lack of a better thing to call it. "You write the moments between the adventures" was what somebody told me about my Doctor Who fics ("Balancing Act," which is third place on that list, is a multi-chaptered Ten/Donna NSFW romantic fix-it fic where every chapter clearly takes place after some sort of new adventure that I don't show you but instead reference 😉). I agree with that assessment, that IS basically what I write.

A little while ago, I read somebody criticizing a particular type of Halo fanfiction. They didn't name mine by name but basically said it wasn't written "properly" like it's "supposed" to be and was everything that's "wrong" with uninformed people writing things they shouldn't be.

Here's the kicker: I think they're wrong. If they would've pointed at somebody else's fic and said that same thing, I would've wanted to jump in and tell them to get over themselves. People are allowed to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy! If somebody wrote a story that's "wrong" in your opinion, then all you have to do is scroll on by.

Heck, if somebody wants to write about Master Chief riding into battle on a T-rex while waving a glowing, magic sword given to him personally by Gandalf the Grey... Well, dang it, I'd read it, lol! Yeah, that wouldn't take place in canon but what is fanfic even for if not to allow all sorts of exploration? What if Halo had dinosaurs and magic swords? What if Chief and Silver Team or Blue Team or a brand new team of OC Spartans desperately needed to go buy new curtains for their apartments after they'd hung out for a while at the most happening coffee shop on Reach where Thel 'Vadam was the barista who made amazing specialty drinks while also heading up the local garage band?

(Yeah, I made that manip for something else but might as well get more use out of it, right? 😂)

Anyway, you get my drift. If one of my fellow Halo writers would've gotten criticism like that, I would've challenged it. But it was too close to my own work and instead, I absorbed it. I feel like I shouldn't be writing for Halo, I'm too wrong, I'm too off. I mean, no wonder I'm struggling to finish my WIPs, right? That's the first thing that pops to mind when I try to write anything: Yeah, but you're doing this all wrong. You should be ashamed of what you're writing. You're insulting the real fans of Halo by trivializing the characters like this. You're disrespecting actual military people living today by getting too much of this wrong.

And so seeing those stats at AO3 really meant something to me. I know I don't write authentic action-orientated sci-fi military fiction. I know that. But I love the characters and I love seeing them in situations they wouldn't be in in canon and I can't even tell you why. But people have been reading my fics? At least, I hope the hits aren't coming from people passing the links around with a big ol' ZOMG, please don't ever write Halo like THIS IDIOT, okay??? attached to them. 🤞😣🤞😉

This sounds pretty silly seeing it written down like this. I know, it's like, Get over yourself, Ais, not everything is about you! But I've been really struggling to get to the root of my writer's block so I could figure out what's keeping me from finishing my WIPs. And seeing those stats tonight and realizing how many more times my Halo fics seem to have been read over my other fandoms...?

Well, that might only mean that Halo is just the more popular fandom right now and it's nothing more than that. But it's nice to think that, even though there are people out there who think somebody unqualified like me shouldn't be posting their ridiculous little stories, maybe there are other people who've enjoyed them, even as unauthentic as they are?

I dunno. Food for thought.

I'm hoping this will inspire me to at least finish up the next chapter for "15 Minutes." 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Thanks for reading. *hugs* to you if you've ever or are currently struggling with anything like this. Tell your stories, they're worth it. I believe in you. 🤗🤗🤗

I just need to try harder to believe in myself, hm? 🤔

PS - I've gotten SO MANY wonderful comments on my Halo fics, so why is it that the hate that might not even have been meant for me is so much louder in my head and crowds the nice comments out? I hate that, I truly do. 😖

[tiny-tokunaga]

My next few months are gonna be SO. BUSY.

1. Chose to crochet a cardigan for mom's Christmas present (ordered the yarn and never got the notification that it delivered to the post office LAST WEEK, so I can't start on it until tomorrow)

2. Was asked to crochet dish cloths for my aunts

3. Been hoping to get a decent chunk of Takuya's past insta posts translated to start uploading in December

4. Also been hoping to continue some of my larger subbing WIPS (one is a 2 hour show, the other a 2 parter that's about 2 hours total I'd rather release together)

5. Need to actually study for the JLPT, I've kept up a 50+ day streak of reviewing my flashcards, but haven't had the chance to do serious studying the past week or so and don't wanna risk having to cram like last year

6. Agreed to help babysit my niece for a week starting this Friday

7. Physical therapy once a week, that's a 2 hour drive ONE WAY

8. Also need to schedule an important MRI to look for tethered cord syndrome yaaaay

9. I'm in charge of a gender reveal party in January, and want to hand make the invitations and decorations for that (I know, I know, I'm personally not a fan of gender reveals, but this person is one of the most important people in my life and she really struggled with fertility and her reproductive health so 🤷‍♀️)

10. Have a family vacation at the end of next month that's been booked for like 2 years now??? I can't believe it's almost here???

11. Wanna do something with my friends and cousins for my birthday in January, too, so need to get that planned soon

MY WINTER IS PACKED.

[gossipgirloff1]

so lance gossip???

lance himself is more of a reserved person however his friends are not. there have been multiple claims that lance’s friends use him for fame and attention like “oh hey i’m friends with lance!” his only close friends (which he literally said himself) are stephen and henry (who both are apart of his race team)

relationship wise it’s a bit; lance allegedly dated a lot of older women when he was around the ages of 16-19 and more notably dated sara, an italian model who is 3-5 years older than lance. towards the end of their relationship, they were on-off and had a bunch of cheating rumours (both of them allegedly cheated on each other, specifically sara and neymar). after they broke up, a jewelry store that lance gifted sara shut down and she wrote a song called “deja vu” which implies it’s about him. they still follow each other. from what i heard, she was constantly seeking his attention throughout the relationship. even when his own grandfather passed away and was “distant” from her, she took the opportunity to post shady things on insta (captions, quotes, etc).

dian schwartz is another woman he was with. she’s an israeli reality star most famous for being in israel’s big brother. everyone in israel allegedly hates her. no clue if they two actually dated because dian claims they dated while other people who are allegedly close to lance claim that he needed a wedding date (which to me was fucking weird of him to do). regardless, dian leaked pictures of her and lance after chloe’s wedding (dian follows the photographer who took them and the gossip page who posted it) and then he ghosted her after. she became really petty, screen recorded herself muting aston martin on threads, hooking up with men who look like lance in israel, etc. lance doesn’t follow her anymore but she’s a zionist psychopath who wanted to be a wag so badly. she also used lance to get to fashion week in london.

now marilou, she’s a mean girl and a zionist (literally if you search up marilou zionist on twitter/x, a thread will appear). her family is messy. her dad makes 9/11 jokes, islamophobia and her mom is VERY obsessed with lance on facebook. marilou works for a ton of zionist companies more notably ardene who is owned by a man who owns a orthodox synagogue and has a zionist rabbi who spreads his zionist propaganda?? marilou and her friends and family attend this synagogue. she also blocks and deletes comments even though it’s well known that she’s a zionist. she’s also mocked tons of fans at grand prix and made fun of one fan’s weight. she’s constantly trying to get attention and change her image but is shot down bc it’s brought up that she’s not a good person. there’s allegedly a rumour that she cheated on lance in miami but i know nothing abt that. but she’s constantly bringing her friends around grand prix, i’ve lowk never seen her and lance by themselves. it’s either his friends are around or her friends. but she’s a big scabber. thats probably why she’s dated like 3-5 guys within a year. rumour is she has another guy lined up 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for the info anon ❤️

Wow that is so many problematic people why are you hanging out with them Lance 🤦‍♀️

And thank you again for this long ask I have been needing a gossip lately 🫶🏻

[myheartalivewrites]

Weekend WIP Game

Thanks for tagging my @kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius and @daisymae-12!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

1. WIP List: I'm definitely a one-at-a-time sort of person. I hate having unfinished WIPs hanging about, it stresses me out. That said, I've got three docs with a substantial number of words in them:

[Dark and Stormy]

[Provence] (more here)

Oxford Nights

AND there's one more WIP I've finished working on and am hoping to start posting tomorrow (ahem ahem ahem) which is not on that list but I’m counting anyway

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

[Provence] at nearly 14k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Probs that one, I don’t think I’m even halfway through with it! It’s not going to be long-long though

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Oh God, I don't know. I've not worked on [Dark and Stormy] for a while, that's the one I'm most looking forward to getting back to

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Lol, right now [Dark and Stormy] is intimidating bc I want to change the whole beginning of it. That's why I've been putting it off for oh... nine months 😬

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

The one that's gonna start posting tomorrow? Mainly bc I'm worried it's too much like a devil's threesome, even though no women are involved lol

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Again, tomorrow's one, which is called Twice the speed (of you and me) by the way! I've asked a couple of people to read it through for me.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Sometimes, yeah. Mainly when I try and work stuff into the plot that I'm not that interested in or that requires a lot of world building. I've started following the Matthew Lopez philosophy about it: if it's not about Alex and Henry, it has to go. It's certainly what happened with Deep Blue, and that's how I got myself out of being blocked, by limiting anything that wasn't specifically about them.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

Oh, [Provence] has a character in it who I really love, she's an old friend of Arthur's, an actress in her sixties all glamour and graceful ageing, who loves Henry like a parent. Though, weirdly, she's what's got me a bit stuck on it, because I have all these ideas for what I want from her but can't quite bring myself to do the world building that comes along with that 😂

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Hah, lol. The threesome. Is the fandom ready for it? We'll see.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Dunno, actually. Maybe [Provence], just because Alex is having his bisexual awakening and feeling all jealous at Henry's sluttiness. It's not ACTUALLY angsty though.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Yikes, what a question! All of them, my characterisation is perfect, no notes etc.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Oooh I love the [Provence] one. It's all lush, some super rich people's home, but with a touch of south of France rustic to it.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

🤷‍♀️ don't think I have an answer for this one

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Again, just... 🤷‍♀️ I always wonder about the really smutty ones, I fret over them the most and then they turn out to be really popular so...

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Not really, though they do keep me awake at night. I woke up this morning at like five and just HAD to check on the beta feedback.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

Nah, not really. I mean, threesome mechanics? That's new, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

God, no, not this question. I have zero confidence on my ability to make things funny. Like, I know there are funny bits in there, but... Oxford Nights has funny bits with Alex and Henry trying shit out I guess.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Nah

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Okay, so: in one of them Henry owns a cow named MARY 😁

Tagging a meagre 4 peeps for my 4 WIPs ✌️ : @14carrotghoul @suseagull04 @happiness-of-the-pursuit and @whimsymanaged to overshare on the dash, thanks!

[rgr-pop]

we had literally just had a user services meeting where my supervisor said the library decided not to put any high time sensitive stacks project on the agenda for the summer. she was like please use your vacation time!

the next monday at 3pm our director read our meeting notes, became mad, and decided unilaterally to assign us (just me and my supervisor plus my students if i have them) to shift the whole general collection by august starting now. more or less out or nowhere (i spent last summer and fall outliningwhat we’d need to do and getting trained up while i was creating a whole oversize collection from scratch but was told up til a few weeks ago that it wouldn’t go on the calendar—primarily because we don’t have the staff.)

we asked for the plan and he said “shifting ldoesn’t need a plan. just move the books. distribute the evenly across the shelves with each shelf at 60-75% fill capacity.” (WHICH and okay math?)

please if you’ve ever planned or participated in a collection shift chime in. not sure i can possibly explain how deranged this is

fun fact TS isn’t sure how many volumes are in our collection due to not being inventoried in about a decade. the director didn’t have a sense within 10,000 of how many books he was asking us to move even if a shift was just moving books from one location to another (it’s not). we were gonna focus on missing and inventory over the summer (fun fact we have a missing list about SEVEN PERCENT OF THE COLLECTION!!!) it’s good practice to always measure the materials on the shelf for a shift but it’s essential when you don’t have a well maintained collection— the other way we would make the estimation of how to distribute a collection evenly would be to use a formula estimating volumes per linear inch in various collection types. but again we have a 7% missing collection lmao

so over the past two and a half workdays i’ve been working a 10 page project plan all by myself — planning stacks projects is not my job. i’m still a clerk with some extra technical duties on paper. i make about 24k in a year working part time. the people doing this task at msu make 2-3 times what i make. there are two administrators above me, one who is lying about the work itself and being insane (also the worst at his job or anyone alive), the other doesn’t know how to do any of this. and she’s dedicated herself to getting caught up and this makes me feel a million times better but in theory on principle i should not do this (he will make me “move the books” regardless sooo)

we have this thing in my unit called responsibility dollars you can apply for to get a small bonus for a project outside your job description. if i was full time i would be eligible for an extra $3.25 or so, but as part time i can only get $1.20. so onward requesting my $33 per week summer stipend.. my director might block admin from approving it because he doesn’t believe a plan is required. i should just move the books! (google how to plan a library shift if you’re interested in my work)

anyway the problem is that i really enjoy doing this and would love to do a good job at it. it’s not happening in august lol be real. what rows this man want us speed shelving for. TO WHAT END?? WHY?? i will see this through and start applying to archives jobs—the real core of the “thrown into the most chaotic situation imaginable and plan a lil system” field—it’s what i’m good at and i’m putting this stupid shit in my portfolio. all i actually want is to not have my work openly disrespected by a man who wants the library to literally crumble because he hates queer people so much ! he still by the way refuses to speak directly to me or read anything i produce 🤷‍♀️

my supervisor texted me this morning at 11 am asking me if i was at work (i was in the staff kitchen and didn’t see it til hours later bc i was AT WORK not ON MY PHONE and she didn’t use work communication) so now i’m paranoid that they’re watching my time, which is insane bc i’m so much more productive… he tried this last year too around the incident. challenged some hours i worked out of nowhere and said he didn’t remember me being here and i was like ok there’s nothing i can do to demonstrate that?? so i had to take hours i worked off my timecard. to my knowledge no one else but me is required to do time tracking or has had their time challenged —only Me who accused him of homophobic retaliation and got disciplined for it and can now get fired for any reaaaason :’) so anyway i worked til 11 pm monday and i will be here til 8 every night the rest of the week due to paranoia

[p-redux]

You need to look at Lynne Cabban’s Twitter (@LynneCabban) to see her posts which I assume are what people think are about Sam and Chloe. They are few days old so you’d have to scroll through her timeline. I’m not really sure what she says has any credence in that she seems to be talking to Sam but without actually tagging him. It’s very odd indeed.

Thanks for letting me know! Here are the Tweets this "super fan" is putting out there. 👇 She's obviously talking to Sam without tagging him directly. It's like she thinks she's having a personal conversation with him. Within the Tweets, she "warns" him about fans "spying" on Chloe's locked account. I love how she's outaged that people are following Chloe's locked IG account and that people know where Sam goes, but she sees nothing wrong with this rambling subtweet convo with Sam. 🤪

Here's her Twitter. 👇

Here's her rambling, frankly batshit convo with Sam. It's like she's answering his questions, but he isn't talking to her hahaha. 🤪

Read from bottom tweet up. 👇

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7/8

Part 9/10

Part 11/12

In conclusion, Sam is in peril from fans who want to know who he's dating, BUT he is perfectly safe with fans who have 50 Tweet long imaginary conversations with him. 🤷‍♀️🤭

Poor Sam.

PS. I know some people in Sam's life follow this fan, but that is the case for both Sam and Cait--some friends or family follow some super fans, Shippers, including some crazy fans. Not sure if they get fooled by the fans into thinking they're normal, or they follow to keep an eye on them. But if this fan actually knew Sam personally, she wouldn't be subtweeting him; she would be messaging him privately. JS.

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Only Friends Ep. 9:

1. For this ep, I just want Sand to run as far away as possible from Ray (although based on previous ep's preview, I know that wouldn't happen) 😔

2. I don't know, it's too unrealistic for Top to change that fast. I do think that he is just not used to losing anything, which is why he is trying hard to win Mew back. As for Mew, I guess it is also the first time that he was wrong about someone (although, I pretty much doubt that) especially when he prides himself of "knowing how to accurately read" people (see episodes 1 and 2). I still see these two people trying to prove to themselves that their sense of self is not entirely wrong.

3. I'm beginning to think that Sand is either a hopeless romantic or an effing masochist. Wtf. He already knows Ray is toxic. He KNOWS RAY WILL CONTINUE TO HURT HIM (and himself). If he has any self-respect, he will walk away.

4. <on videoing Ray making out with Sand) There's the Top I know.

5. I still don't know Atom's angle in this scene. I mean from being in a cis relationship then jumping straight to gay s*x. With Boston, of all people. Why? I don't think he is fuelled with plain ole curiosity. He practically seduced Boston (although let's face it, it doesn't take much to get Boston h*rny)

6. I think I can recognise Pisaeng's (BMF) campervan lol. Hurray, for Team Second Option! Get an effing move on, gods dammit. Well, at least Sand is aware he is a masochist lol 😅

7. Yo and Mew. Really, don't start relationships that you actually don't want. The fvck. 😑

8. I love Khaotung, but Ray. Ray is trash. At this point, he is using his pain as excuse to be a manipulative, little sh*t to everyone. Also, I guess Mew's brain has been addled badly with drugs and alcohol to believe that Ray's "the word love makes most sense with you" is anything but a confession of Ray's toxic dependency on him.

9. Frankly, I don't think these kids should have romantic relationships. Especially Ray. Ray should just stop dragging everyone to his personal hell.

10. Atom is acting like a possessive bf. AFTER AN EXPERIMENTAL ONE-NIGHT STAND. I can't believe I am siding with Boston in this argument 😂😂😂😂 but fvck, here we are.

11. Maybe Sand and Nick could try it as a couple. I mean, they are both decent people. Maybe they can work it out. 😅 <after 5 seconds> ooof, Nick read my mind lol. Too bad, the kiss started nothing 😅😅😅😅

12. I just want the mums to smack some sense into Mew. Maybe, it would also get rid some of his self-righteousness and feelings of moral superiority 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

13. No, Nick. You left Sand to be fed to a smug, manipulative wolf.

14. Can I push Ray in to that lake? Right now, I have a strong urge to drown Ray and leave his dead body in that mountain top. I mean, Ray is making Top looked good IN MY EYES. Pretty sure the mums prefer Top at this point too. The fvck.

15. Is it just me, or Dan just feels creepy? This show is triggering all my paranoid senses lol 😅😅😅 Also, Nick is not known for his good judgement, he lets his hormones lead the way.

16. Oh, Nick. You poor, crazy sod. Why are you still following Boston??? Your need for closure is driving me nuts. 😑

17. Waiiit. Is Boston actually regretful? Really? Boston? Or is the sight of Nick smiling with somebody else triggering him too?

18. Is this a premonition? Will Ray die at the end of this series? 🤔🤔🤔 I mean, Ray is perpertually high, drunk, and destructive. Pretty sure he is heading to an early death at this rate.

19. Ah, Sand. You really should stop sticking your d*ck in crazy.

20. Ray, Mew looks okay even though you technically cheated on him. Should be your cue to understanding that only you thought you were boyfriends. Mew just needed a rebound.

21. Ngl, I was expecting Mixx in that elevator, not Mond! What is he doing here anyway? Is he another one of Top's exes???

We are almost at the finish line and I'm undecided who needs a sharp smack in the head the most lol. I guess, with Mew and Ray 'breaking up', there's a chance that Sand will not be a sad boy anymore. Although, I still have a strong urge to m*rder Ray after all was said and done.

I still don't know what Atom's deal is. It just seems so sudden that he is in "love" with Boston. Looks like Boston will do some self-reflection but why is Nick still there? I guess, the man just loves the hurt. Also, looks like Mond will play the ex, Boeing. I always thought it was gonna be Mixx.

Well, one thing's for sure — the show is about to get messier. I think Im'ma need to go to church now 😂😂😂😂

[justreckin]

20 questions for fic writers

alright @emonydeborah said hey there's a thing and i say yes (ages later)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 6

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 28,070

3. What fandoms do you write for? Honestly, whatever's catching my fancy in that moment. Of the things I've posted, The Librarians is the only fandom that I've ever even posted more than one fic for.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Raising Harry (Harry Potter/Underworld) Where Selene comes across Harry playing at the park alone at night and decides that the best idea is to sorta adopt him.

Never Say He Isn't Grateful (Agent Carter/Captain America) Howard realizes he owes Peggy big time and the best way for him to repay her is to go rescue Steve.

5 Times Ezekiel Called Eve Mum and the Time They Made it Official (The Librarians) 5+1 what it says on the tin.

Second Time Around (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Coulson went in on the Bahrain mission, May died. Oneshot re-write of the first episode that I considered expanding and have actually written other chapters for but... 🤷‍♀️

How Apep got Ezekiel Grounded for the Rest of his Natural Life (The Librarians) Season 3 Finale in the same universe as the previous Librarians fic that has a second chapter I have yet to write...

5. Do you respond to comments? I certainly try to. I'm not the best at it, but I love getting to have a conversation with anyone who likes the same things I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Heh probably I'm Not Your Mother but even then it's a) not really all that angsty and b) mostly that I dropped a mean bomb on characters and then ran away because I have no idea what else to do with it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ...everything else? Look, canon is already regularly very mean to characters. I am here to live in my happy little fantasies where everything works out.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se but I'd left up an unfinished multi-chapter fic at one point and someone commented that I was the reason they'd lost faith in authors with unfinished works and is maybe more responsible for me not posting any of the myriad of things I have on my computer than I want to admit.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nah. I write more family than relationship stuff, really.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. Uh... it's not posted, but maybe the Harry Potter/Song of the Lioness that I hashed out at one point.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ha! @emonydeborah and I spitball all the time (it's wonderful) and she absolutely gets credit if that parent trap fic ever gets finished, but I don't think I'm up to the group project that would be co-writting a fic.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? the Enterprise NCC-1701 dash nothing! All jokes aside, it genuinely is the only ship I go back to on a regular basis.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uh... honestly, I don't know that I'll ever finish half the things in my WIP folder.

16. What are your writing strengths? Probably dialogue. I feel I'm pretty good at getting the character's literal voice down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything happening around the dialogue. In my head these people are always moving around and doing things, but it always feels so clunky if I try to put that onto a page.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Maybe an individual word or two for a curse or endearment. I know enough Spanish I'd probably be comfortable writing in it. But that'd be about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Uh.... Star Trek? One sec, must check files. Yeah, pretty sure it was a short TOS thing. Hmm might need to take a look at that again, clean it up, repost...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Posted? Probably Ezekiel calling Eve mum. Not posted? Nah, actually, don't know that there is one that's not posted.

.... @the-redhead-in-a-dress and @sun-lit-roses did you do it yet, did you do it? I wanna see 😁

[calamitydaze]

Why did he crop the Snapchat logs before where the "ur gorgeous" comment would have been

Why did he use transcripts that could be edited and not upload the logs where it could be separately looked over (like, for example, Kwite did with his text messages)

Why did he not provide evidence that Jamie's statement was actually from Jamie herself

Why would Sam hang on to an edited video for three years and release it only to retract it again less than a month later

Why did he edit his screenshot of burner 22 in his final tweet to omit the far more likely possibility of Sam lying in his video

Why did he get fucking Keem "if you remember 9/11 I don't want you" Star of all people on board to announce shit

He just made everything even more sus. Ppl will really believe anything if a white man says it confidently and adds some snappy editing lmao

these are almost certainly not good-faith questions coming from a place of healthy skepticism and care for victims, but for the sake of discussion i’ll pretend they are and indulge you:

1. i went back and looked at when he showed the logs and it looks to me like they’re being shown in reverse, with the oldest at the bottom and the most recent at the top. in that case both “gorgeous as fuck” and “fine as hell” would be visible— in between “got that 500 snap score” and “congrats :)”— but they’re not. the logs are kinda hard to make sense of so tell me if i’m misinterpreting them. but in any case, it doesn’t really matter because as stated in the video, if they happened it was after she was 18 and he had no context towards her being a fan, and compliments aren’t evidence of grooming anyway. and if he’s lying about them not being there, amanda’s had a year to download her own data and prove it

2. assuming you’re talking about the instagram dms here since he did show the logs of the snaps, but i mean…… idfk?? again, it doesn’t really matter since dry ass instagram dms are also not evidence of grooming 😭 but fwiw, i read through the transcript and it matches up with what i remember from reading the actual screenshots that amanda herself showed (and as demonstrated in the video, screenshots don’t automatically mean something is trustworthy anyway)

3. genuinely, what do you propose he could show as “proof” that the statement came from jamie without further exposing her to unwanted attention? i understand being skeptical of its validity and i raised an eyebrow too, but it matches up perfectly with both what we know she wants based on her twitter bios and separate statement from her that was given to keemstar and nicholas deorio by dream, and dream’s offered to prove the authenticity to any creator who reaches out. and, even if jamie herself doesn’t want to speak on it, it would be very easy for anyone else actually involved to dispute it but yet no one has. occam’s razor

4. frankly i have no idea why any of these people did what they did! does it really matter?

5. i think you sent this before the burner reactivated, but they’ve now said that they’re certain sam lied to them, so 🤷‍♀️ moot point

6. regardless the kind of person keemstar is, he’s got a wide reach and dream clearly wanted as many as people as possible to see his video, including audiences who don’t follow or subscribe to him specifically. makes sense to me

[danthropologie]

I'm just gonna add to our delusion in here by saying the following,

I agree with you that Daniel needs more than to equal Checo if he wants that seat, he has to bring in something new that RedBull need.

But in a recent interview Daniel said that during his time off he discovered a lot about himself not only as a person but also as a driver, and that he will implement these things into his new/oldish driving style that he's working on.

I personally think that everything is going to be revealed in July, not only will Daniel be driving the RB-19 after Silverstone but Silly Season usually start then, in addition many teams will already installed their upgrades and the wind tunnel penalty might start having effects on RedBull, which means that they will need a driver that can match Max in all circuits not only on the street ones, and from past experiences we know that that ain't Mr 11.

In conclusion start praying

replying to this days later sorry, but literally you're so right about this. whenever i (rarely) venture outside of my little bubble of delusional girlies, i always see people saying that daniel being better than checo isn't necessarily a positive because red bull doesn't want someone that can fight max, they just want someone capable of picking up points when he can't. and yes i know that checo IS doing that so far this season, but when the car is SO good and SO far above everyone else, i think it's clearly making him look a lot better than he is too. cause you look at last year and the fact that he got 3rd in a car that had 17 wins in the season. or even 2021, i know he made some critical moves and picked up some critical points, but it also wouldn't have gone down to the wire like that in the first place if he'd been closer to max to begin with.

obviously we have to wait and see if anyone else even gets close as the season goes on, but if they DO, it'll definitely be interesting to see how checo actually fairs- whether he's ACTUALLY driving better than he has previously or if it's just a fluke from a fast as fuck car 🤷‍♀️