#this is actually just a steely dan blog I think

[syncopxtc]

returns to tumblr ONLY to say that Donald Fagen was inspired by Shinji Hirako and Shinji Hirako alone when he took the cover photo for Nightfly

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

10/5/23: It was 50 years ago today, October 5th, 1973, Elton John released his seventh album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. So I wrote already a paragraph about this record, but it got lost when my computer just decided to start screaming... not sure what happened, but I'm sure it's related to my refusal to upgrade to Windows II. Anywho, starting over, this record, a double-album, is certainly a top five best album of 1973... even most of the deep cuts are from at worst listenable to at best near classics. We'll start with the four U.S. Top 40 songs first, as I won't cover them by the time this blog is over... let's start with the #1 song 'Bennie and the Jets'... wow... I think at one point in my 1990s days of hating everything un-ironic, I did not like this song... but it drew me back in like Michael Corleone. Such a unique tune too, as it's pretty simple and kind of empty throughout... easy thumpy beat, random crowd noises, Elton on piano and organ... then he hits that falsetto 'BENNIE!"... I mean c'mon! Oh yeah, I was going to say that this album has aged very well... like there's nothing really embarrassing here (except maybe the title of a certain ska song we'll get to). After 'Bennie', the title track was huge too... kind of a ballad, but such a memorable tune... it would reach #2. Then we have the controversial pick... what I mean is, do we like the original 'Candle In the Wind' which kind of rocks a little, or, do we go with the in-concert 1988 version that became an MTV hit, OR, do we recognize the elephant in the room and go with the 1997 version that replaces MM with Princess Diana. Fuck all that, sorry. The original destroys the other ones, and fuck you if you think otherwise... that newer shit is sentimental garbage, and in a way taking advantage of an accidental death. Yes, I feel passionate about this, because 'Candle' fit MM just so well, and it was done so tastefully. My opinion, fine, but I'm mad that it's even an issue. The song would originally reach #6... you can look up the 'reboots'. Okay! And then the 'rockin' song on the record is 'Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting'... I can remember being a kid and getting EJ's first greatest hits on cassette and this song was probably, along with 'Rocket Man', the main reason I got it. I wore that cassette out... and at the same time, wore out my enthusiasm for 'Saturday', but it's making a comeback in my mind. It's totally a fun song, straight up. Now let's talk about the other bangers... opening up Sir Elton's magnum opus is the 11-minute short suite 'Funeral For a Friend / Love Lies Bleeding'... honestly it really doesn't get going until about five minutes in, although for those first five minutes it's like Elton invited EL&P over to play a ballad... still great! And the rest of the song just fucking rocks... I rarely heard this on KSHE but I did... that's the only way I could have possibly known it before hearing the record. Now there are songs on this album that I did not know prior to exploring... some early deep cuts are the very-1973 sounding 'Grey Seal'... not only is this my favorite track on both records, it is a second or third runner-up to my favorite EJ song... I mean it's like he kicked out EL&P and brought in Steely Dan. That's the only way I can describe it... it's polished, but still raw somehow. Same goes for 'All the Young Girls Love Alice'... a much darker-in-theme rocker, but no less powerful. Okay the only kinda dumb thing about this record is the terrible title 'Jamaica Jerk-Off'... really, Elton (or should I say really Bernie T.)...? It makes me further annoyed because the song is kinda cool! It's not some Zeppelin attempt at faux-reggae, it's actually just plain ol' ska... it's very cool! Okay, since this is a double-album let's run down the rest: 'The Ballad of Danny Bailey' and the last track 'Harmony' are both very good semi-ballads... the rest of the tracks scattered area all just fine, but are only slightly above filler. Overall, though, holy dogshit this is an outstanding record. LISTEN NOW!!

[northwestofinsanity]

12, 13, 15, 16, 24(winger)?

12) What’s a band you really love but haven’t posted as much for/haven’t posted at all on Tumblr?  Any reason why?

Steely Dan. I’ve known them since I was a kid and love them to death, but to keep this explanation a half-novel as opposed to a full one, I’m a self-conscious nervous wreck, and any time I add in artists to my regular posting that are massively different from those I already have, I get very shy about what my existing mutuals will think, and maybe even a bit fearful of them getting annoyed. Since I started my Tumblr when I was fixated mostly on 80s bands, some of my 70s bands I added in later have been with a bit of hesitation at first, particularly those with very different styles. (Supertramp was terrifying as a band that doesn’t really fit fully in a category with anyone else, and as the only one of my new-wave/pop bands I’ve posted for here so far, I still am very, VERY shy about Squeeze right now -not that I regret adding any of them!) Steely Dan is… even further into that class of their own. And their odd, session-driven structure makes them a little unusual to approach for fandom stuff. Also, I’m shy of how some of my followers who are here for the photogenic 80s folks are going to take to them -my love for musicians goes far beyond looks, but I can’t speak for anyone else. And they actually have a decent sized fandom here -which actually makes me kind of shy, since I’m not sure where to even start with any interaction (as I’ve found out attempting and failing to add Pink Floyd here throughout a silent hyperfixation). So, yeah. I want them here on my blog. I’m not really sure how to do it, yet. One day, they’ll make it.

13) Do you have a band that you were once ashamed for liking?  If so, are you still ashamed, or did you get past that -and what makes you proud of liking them now?

Dokken. Actually, a lot of the 80s metal bands. My dad (who, with all due respect, introduced me to more than half the artists I love) could be iffy about them based on the handful of hits he knew from those 80s bands, and he kind of would express it with “ugh!” at any mention, and switch the radio off most of them that actually did get played on my local stations (which Dokken did not), and by the time I first got to know Dokken, I had already been pushed to kind of hide my hyperfixations and felt pretty shy about sharing them before I heard any criticism toward it… so that really did a number on my confidence with them. But then, a couple years after, I moved six hours away from home for college, and starting my first year in 2016 when their reunion happened just made for a really fun time to be able to get fully into every part of their fandom and history with no inhibitions whatsoever. And there were some crises that came into my life in early 2017 that Dokken really helped me get through, as that band that I was really attached to in that moment. The mood of some of their songs was also very relatable, and just surviving and growing through that period with them made me an unabashed fan, and I even managed to get my dad hooked with some of their deeper cuts later on!

15) What’s a song or band you got into by chance of just happening to be in the right place while it was playing, and may have never known without that one experience?

The Allman Brother’s “One Way Out” -The Live at the Fillmore East version. Came on the radio on request hour while I was driving on the interstate, and oh boy, what a thrill! Might have eventually gotten to know the song, but I’m not sure when. I’m a casual fan of the hits of The Allman Brothers Band… they’re one of those bands I know one day will strike me right to go on a research frenzy beyond their connections with other artists, and I’ll be in deep with them. That particular instance wasn’t well timed enough for that, with all I had going on in my life at that time, but I did at least gain a new favorite track that I definitely don’t hear on regular radio play.

16) Name an artist you grew up listening to who you can always go back to and enjoy.

Steely Dan!

24) What’s a deep cut that you feel deserves more love (specify a band/artist when asking!)

With Winger, I have gone on an extensive rant about the song before, but I can’t think of a better deep cut to answer with than “In For the Kill”. The meaning of the lyrics is literally backed up by the instrumental composition of the song, and that takes a lot of deep thought and talent to work to that extent. That post is here: https://northwestofinsanity.tumblr.com/post/711195722787291136/ive-had-a-theory-about-how-symbolic-the-structure

Thanks for asking!

[dio-theshitpost-brando]

((👀👀👀👀👀 Not related? Seems like Jonathan motherfucking Joestar canonically says otherwise.))

((If you call someone your brother chances are you won’t wanna fuck them.))

[stuonsongs]

My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time - 2006 Edition

2021 Editor’s Note: I was looking through some old files and found this thing that I wrote sometime in the summer of 2006 at age 22. For all I know, it could’ve been 15 years to the day! Looking back, I’m not sure how many of these songs would still make my top 10. Don’t get me wrong, I still love all of these tunes, but I’m sure you know how it goes - You get older, you get exposed to more things, and your idea of good music expands. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to share with anyone who still uses this site. I present it in its original format without edits to my writing. I ended up writing full posts in this blog about some of these songs if you go through the archive. 

Stu’s Top 10 Favorite Songs…Ever

Let’s start with some honorable mentions. These were so close, and I thought about it for so long, but they had to be left off.

Honorable Mentions

All Summer Long – The Beach Boys

All Summer Long. 1964. Capitol

This song has been described so many times as being “the perfect summer song.” When you listen to it, you can’t help but smile from the opening marimba intro, all the way through. It just screams “summer” and it hurt me to leave The Beach Boys off my top 10.

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Bleed American. 2001. Grand Royal

So full of energy, so rocking, and so what would’ve been the most recent song on my list. I wanted to keep it in the top 10 just so I could have a song from the ‘00s, but it wasn’t meant to be. When the chorus kicks in, I can’t help but headbang.

Marie – Randy Newman

Good Old Boys. 1974. Reprise

Randy has said that a lot of young composers pick “Marie” as their favorite Newman song, and I can see why. The idea of a guy having to be drunk to tell his wife that he loves her is pretty funny, and throughout the whole song it’s just the beautiful melody with tons of strings, all to a tune about a guy ripping on himself as he comes home drunk to his wife.

Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley

More Adventurous. 2004. Brute/Beaute

I guess this is newer than Bleed American, so it would’ve worked too. This is another more recent song that it killed me to leave off the list. The outro is an arrangement of the main tune with a different chord progression performed by a string quartet. Very beautiful. Also when Jenny Lewis screams “Your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me,” I get chills every time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So here it is. After a long day’s work, I’m finally finished. It actually turned out much different than I was thinking when I first started. The number one wasn’t really even in my top five when I started, but I slowly realized I loved it so much. I also left Ben Folds (Five) off this list completely, and I don’t know, I just feel the whole catalogue of Ben is so solid, none of the songs stick out to me that much. But anyways, here it is! After the break of course…

Stu’s Top 10

10.

(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave – Martha and the Vandellas

Heat Wave. 1963. Motown.

This one beat out “Bleed American” just barely. The reason being that somehow, despite being nearly 40 years older than Bleed American, it still has so much energy that it kills. Dan Bukvich once told our Jazz Arranging class that you can boil all the oldies you hear on the radio down to three categories: 1) Great Song. 2) Great Performance. 3) Great Arrangement. This song is one of the great performances. The handclaps throughout, combined with the driving baritone sax behind everything and constant snare drum action will keep anybody with blood running through their veins dancing all night long.

9.

Bodhisattva – Steely Dan

Countdown to Ecstasy. 1973. MCA

This song is my Freebird. It’s just a basic blues progression song at its core with some minor changes at the end of the form. The real kicker that drives this song home is the three minute guitar solo in the middle that isn’t nearly as rocking as Freebird, but it is highly proficient and takes me to places that just make me want to play the song over and over again. I have no idea what this song is about, probably Buddhism, but hey, this once again proves that lyrics rarely matter and the music itself is the core.

8.

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

52nd Street. 1978. Columbia

This song reminds me of long car rides on vacations down the west coast with my parents growing up. They used to play a tape of 52nd Street, or at least their favorite selections, constantly on these trips. I didn’t hear this song again until early in my senior year in college and remembered why I loved it so much. The song has a heavy jazz influence, displayed in the breakdown where Jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard does a solo. The best part of this song though is at the end of the 4th line of each verse, Billy does this “Woah oh oh!” thing that just makes me want to sing every time. It was between this and “Miami 2017 (Lights Go Out On Broadway)” which is also a great song, but the “Woah oh oh!” is too much for ol’ Stu boy.

7.

Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Bruce Springsteen

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. 1973. Columbia

Early Bruce Springsteen records have something that very few other artists can ever pull off without sounding cheesy or forced. It has this undeniable sense of urgency, like the world will fall apart and life will crumble through your fingers if this one moment in time doesn’t work out the way Bruce describes it. There are so many early Springsteen songs that just set a scene of “We have to get out of this town right now girl before it kills us, no matter what any of our parents, friends, anybody has to say.” There’s a line that kinda sums it up: “Well hold on tight, stay up all night ‘cause Rosie I’m comin’ on strong. By the time we meet the morning light, I will hold you in my arms. I know a pretty little place in southern California down San Diego way. There’s a little café where they play guitars all night and all day. You can hear ‘em in the back room strummin’, so hold tight baby ‘cause don’t you know daddy’s comin’.”

6.

I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Songs For Swingin’ Lovers! 1956. Capitol

This song falls into the category of great arrangement. This Cole Porter classic tune was arranged for Sinatra by Nelson Riddle. The story goes that he was still copying down parts for the players while riding in the cab to the recording studio on the day of recording. After the players ran through it once with Frank, they stood up and applauded. The Baritone sax takes control here, outlining a Db6/9 chord throughout the intro. Of course, Frank’s vocal delivery is spot on and goes up and down in all the right places for the biggest emotion impact. It’s amazing how a song with no real chorus can be so good.

5.

A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

Ain’t That Good News. 1964. RCA Victor

This song was not even going to be on this list, but then I ran across it while scouring my collection of music and remembered how good it was. Then I listened to it and was blown away by the level of detail that went into this arrangement. Sam’s vocals soar above the mind blowingly beautiful arrangement. The lyrics to this one actually add to the tune itself, speaking of wrongdoings in the world around him, and how social change is on its way in the form of the civil rights movement. The song flows with such ease out of Cooke that one might forget the weightiness of the content, but the song’s content is just so heavy that it’s impossible to deny it.

4.

Whatever – Oasis

Whatever EP. 1994. Creation

This song was released as a Christmas present to the U.K. from the Gallagher brothers and company. It never appeared on any full album, only being released as a single, and amazingly, it blows away anything else they’ve ever done. Think “All You Need Is Love,” but with tons of rocking energy and a snide, nonchalant attitude. The chorus speaks, “I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I choose and I’ll sing the blues if I want. I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I like, if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.” Not exactly poetry, and the song isn’t exactly breaking any new ground either, but the song is absolutely perfect in every way, and it was going to be my #1, but perhaps the only reason it’s not at number one is because I’ve played this song so many times that at the moment, these next three are beating it, but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months. This song also pulls the same “outro performed by a string quartet” thing as “Does He Love You?” but even better. It’s so simple, but I can’t get enough of it.

3.

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra

Out of the Blue. 1977. Jet

This is obviously the best Beatles song that the Beatles never wrote. The staccato guitar during the verse combined with the strings present in just about every ELO song combine to make a force that is undeniably catchy and musically challenging at the same time. This is really what makes ELO so good. I didn’t discover this song till probably Nov. 2005, and it was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t want to include two songs by the same artist in my top 10, but if I did, I probably would’ve added “Turn To Stone” on this list too because it is almost as awesome as this one. It’s a shame that just like Billy Joel, most critics at the time hated ELO for being overly creative musically (they called it pretentiousness). These days we have acts that really are pretentious (see Radiohead), but everyone loves them, even critics. I’m not knocking all Radiohead, just most everything post OK Computer. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

2.

Only In Dreams – Weezer

Weezer. 1994. Geffen

This has been my favorite Weezer song since about a month into me picking up Weezer’s debut album back around early 2000. It has this ostinato (a repeated motif over and over again) in the bass throughout most of the whole song, never even really resolving to the Gb major chord (excluding chorus, which never really resolves) that it wants to until the end of a 3 minute contrapuntal guitar duet when everything dies out except the bass which just retards on its own until it finally plays the single Gb we’ve all been waiting for. The song on the whole up until the guitar duet is pretty tame, but once those contrapuntal guitar lines start intertwining, my ears perk up every time. I can sing both lines at separate times upon request and when the drums finally kick back in fully at the climax of the song, I let out a sigh of relief or bang on my car wheel in exultant joy, whichever is more of an option at the time.

1.

All Is Forgiven – Jellyfish

Spilt Milk. 1993. Charisma

I always loved this song from the first time I heard it, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until maybe April 2006. I found out about Jellyfish first semester of college in the Fall of ’02 and heard this song, and knew it was great. The constant tom-tom driven drums, the fuzzy, almost white noise distorted guitar, and the half time bass throughout. It was great. Then in April I put it on my mp3 player for the walk to school, and then I listened to it for about two weeks straight. Seriously. It runs into the next song entitled “Russian Hill” which is almost as good, but because it’s a separate song, I couldn’t include it on the list, but in my mind, they always run together and are basically one long 9 minute song. The ending just gets more and more white noise filled until you can barely take it anymore and then it just cuts off completely into the slow acoustic intro for Russian Hill. It’s perfect in every way. I think this would fall into the category of great song. And the way the song builds up right to the middle of the song and then cuts out completely except for some very VERY faint xylophone noodling, and then busts back in with some feedback directly into guitar solo. Man I love this song.

[jojolovenotes]

Congrats on the follower milestone!!! You deserve them all, your blog brings so much positivity to the community and your content is delicious. Could I ohhh maybe get some headcanons for me and Daniel, Steely Dan, Or Ghiaccio? Any of them is fine, they're just the ones ive been thinking extensively about lately...

Aw thank you so much Beth you’re so kind!! I’m really really glad you’re enjoying this blog and my content here!! :) I really enjoy hearing y’all gush and spreading that positivity!  Couple Headcanons✨ You x Daniel  - He enjoys playing card games with you but the gambling with you involves playing for affection like hugs, kisses, or hand holding hehe. Oh! Sometimes it helps to decide on a date - if he wins, he can choose if you win then you can choose. Of course he’s used to cheating to win, but he usually will play fair with you ( unless there’s a specific date he wants to take you or something!) :P  - He’s definitely bought you jewelry that is influenced by playing card suits! Well, at least he was thinking of you right? He definitely wants his  You x Steely Dan  - He really loves showing you off! Steely Dan still can’t believe that he actually was able to get someone as amazing as you! Despite being seemingly confident he’s actually pretty insecure and worries that maybe you’re just messing with him :P Of course he hopes that he’s a good boyfriend to you!  -He actually really enjoys buying you little gifts whenever he sees something that reminds him of you it could be like a little keychain or a little random figure or something. Anything! He tends to get a little carried away though and you keep telling him that it’s ok you don’t really need all of these things ( although you find it adorable that you’re on his mind so much!)  You x Ghiaccio  -Yes, Ghiaccio is a hot head, but around you he actually becomes somewhat of a blushing mess! La Squadra teases him for this because he doesn’t ever wanna yell or be rude to you so the rest of la squadra is always like ‘ omg we should have Beth ask Ghiaccio this’ and of course they laugh about it. He’ll get mad at them for it later, but never at you! :P  - I’m pretty sure Ghiaccio wants to take you on ice skating dates whenever he can like year round haha. OK but think about Ghiaccio teaching you how to ice skate or simply just having you watch him ice skate like he just loves to show off to you. He wants to impress you always! 

[neuroticpantomime]

Tagged by @haraldrharfagri and @meansandrice , thanks!

Twenty Questions.

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Dave or David are both fine.

2. When is your birthday?

Early April, an outlier in my immediate family who are all summer babies.

3. Where do you live?

New Jersey, USA, near North Bergen

4. Three things I am doing right now:

Making bread pudding, sipping wine, and attempting to flirt online.

5. Four fandoms that have piqued my interest:

I assume this means ones I'm not already super invested in? Earthsea, Dune, Full Spectrum Therapy, Sprawl trilogy

6. How has the pandemic been treating you:

Either unemployed or underemployed, lost a close family friend, and lot of familial duress so uh, not great? But on the other hand it's been a crucible on a real personal level for myself, indirectly causing one of my biggest regrets, and forcing me to confront myself and begin the process of improvement. And, thankfully, myself and my immediate family have all contracted and recovered with little to no lasting problems.

7. A song I can’t stop listening to:

https://youtu.be/vEcv3xb4oP4 (improves every walk lmao)

8. Recommend a movie:

The Favorite. The three leads bounce off each other so satisfyingly.

9. How old are you?

24, somehow

10. School, university, occupation, etc?

Cliffiside Park High School followed by attempting and failing at getting two bachelor's at NJCU (English and History). Will go back eventually! Up until recently, a server/waiter, debating going to trade school for electricity.

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

Love hot summer days, but also mild weather in general.

12. Name one fact others may not know about you:

I've accidentally done speed twice, and once saw Steely Dan with an ex by total coincidence.

13. Are you shy?

In a sense; I can be awkward but sociable. I tend to be very very guarded with my feelings though.

14. Preferred pronouns?

He/him.

15. Biggest pet peeves:

The utter refusal to admit fault, error, or frailty. One of the memories that will always stick in my head as an example of the exact sort of person I'm repulsed by was a prick of a customer who ordered X salad. When X salad arrives, he claims he actually ordered Y. Before the waiter (I was a busboy at the time) could even say anything, all three of this guy's fellow guests at the table say "no dude you did order X," and within moments this prick starts raising his voice, incensed at the very idea that he could've made a mistake. Ugly ugly ugly trait.

16. What is your favorite “dere” type?

Bakadere, I think?

17. Rate your life 1-10:

Is this with the assumption of 5 as totally average? I think right now I'm at a 5.5 but I'm tangibly working towards making that a 7 or even 8. I love my family but living at home is driving me mad lol, but moving out is on the horizon. Hopefully getting my degrees, getting my finances together, pursuing more productive hobbies and healthy habits will see me in a much better place than I am now, and I'm already in a better place than I was just a year ago.

18. What’s your main blog?

Just this one. Used to have a nsfw one pre-purge but I've barely touched it since.

19. List all of your side blogs and what they are for:

N/A

20. Is there anything people should know before becoming friends with you?

I'm often really bad at asserting my interest in anyone, even if I'm really into them platonically, romantically, or otherwise lmao. It's something I'm trying to work on, but I worry I push people away inadvertently because I worry about seeming clingy or annoying to the point of overcorrection. Perhaps more outwardly evident lol I'm a bit of a lush and stoner, and very much the sort to enjoy just sharing a space or experience with people I'm fond of

Tagging: @optimisticduelist2 @abolish-alienation @fishbizkit

[edgydepressedchoicesthot]

Act of Courage (Noah/MC, Lucas/MC)

Summary: It shouldn’t feel like this, after all this time. We won, didn’t we?

No, Josh realized. We didn’t.

In which a survivor contemplates what was, what is, and what could have been.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061654

@ladyseaheart1668, @marmolady, @it-lives-in-westchester

A/N: Between work, college, and my f*cked up head, finishing this up took a lot longer than it should have. I'm trying to make writing into my coping mechanism, so that I'll do it more, lol ;D

I have one more fic I promised on tumblr, an AME one I'm gonna work on. I'm also gonna try to go back to my ES novelization, so stay tuned for that for its continuation.

————————

The two of them were at Josh’s place, waiting for Ava, Andy, Dan, and Lucas. Lily was sick in bed and Stacy was visiting her grandma out of town, leaving Noah and Josh waiting for the four others while they drew figures in the dirt in the yard with sticks and talking about anything their minds jumped to.

“Hey, Noah?”

The boy turned towards his friend.

“Yeah?”

For a moment, Josh, who was as lively as ever seconds ago, was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Do you…like anyone?”

“‘Like’,” Noah repeated. “Like I like you and Jane and the others? Or you mean like-like?”

“Um, yeah” Josh nodded, blushing. “Like-like.”

“Then no,” the other boy shrugged. “Stacy, Lily, and Ava are fun to hang around, but I don’t like-like anyone.”

“What about,” Josh began hurriedly, but slowed down. “What about boys…?”

“Huh?”

“Do you like-like any boys?”

Josh was beet red. Noah was just confused.

“No,” he shrugged. “I’m a boy. It’d be weird if I liked-liked a boy. That’s what my mom says though.”

“Right…” Josh looked hurt. “Right, forget it.”

Noah wanted to ask why his friend looked so sad.

He hated it when Josh got upset. Unlike Jane, who’d get mad, Josh would be quiet, pouty, and would go off by himself, refusing to ever acknowledge what made him upset in the first place.

But before Noah can say anything, the doorbell rang and their friends poured inside.

Noah forgot that Josh even asked him any question about who he liked.

It was something they’d both forget in the years to come, a memory of the conversation fading into a small feeling.

————————

After reading Lucas’s texts, Josh shoved his phone into his pocket. His smile started to fade as he continued down the road, focusing on his surroundings.

It really is a beautiful day, Josh mused.

And he hated it.

The sun shone through the trees in a way that reminded him of an image you’d find on a tourist pamphlet.

It made Josh think about how the only thing this town is good for is being fake.

Like how the town somehow fooled themselves into thinking everything was just a freak animal attack.

But the more he thought about it, Josh guessed he couldn’t blame the town for that. Having to deal with the truth might actually be more of a clusterfuck than it all happening.

It was all a question of why.

Why did this all happen to them? Why was he the one who had to find Redfield’s shack?

All he had to do was keep his goddamn mouth shut about some stupid fucking rock floating all those years ago…

It’s my fault.

Josh scoffed.

Like that’s big news.

And when it was time to pay the piper, Josh was too much of a coward to do anything…

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Josh forced himself to think about something, anything else.

His mind wandered from the date Lucas promised they’d have before he went back to his university, to that new video game Lily’s been raving about, Stacy’s latest Pictagram post about celebrating another perfect score on an exam, Ava’s latest binge on occult books in the library, Andy whining about how he just wants to be free of high school already, Dan’s updates on his new art blog…

…Noah crying, apologizing…

Josh wiped tears from his eyes as he kept walking.

————————

Noah always envied Josh.

He was a charismatic go-getter where Noah was shy and bookish. Josh always got stickers that came with having a perfect score on spelling tests, ones that Noah just passed by never more than five points. Josh was brave enough to make the first move in befriending him and Jane, and began their circle of friends the same way.

Noah not only hated how he was too wimpy to ever say any of this out loud, but also that he held this kind of resentment towards one of the best friends he’s ever had.

Noah hated how nervous he feels around Josh too. How he can’t help but constantly compare himself to him.

Josh was like the sun; radiant and bright and impossible to miss, and Noah had felt like the grimy earth beneath it.

But everything changed after Jane died.

Their whole group of friends changed. They started to see each other less and less, and eventually, they never saw each other outside of school.

Having different classes in middle school widened the gap between them, leaving silent nods as the last bit of interaction they had.

Soon, even those were gone.

Even after they all fell apart, Noah couldn’t help but notice Josh.

Before, Noah had always seen Josh happily chatting with at least one person.

Now, Noah never saw him hang out with anyone ever again. He was like the dusty remains of a star that went out.

There were times Noah wanted to reach out, to see if they could be friends again, to hang out, laugh together, be together-

-and Noah would stop himself when he came short of any reason Josh would want to talk to him.

————————

“You look like shit.”

“Hello to you too, Ava.”

Josh was semi-thankful that his shift at one of the town’s few fast food places started early in the morning. Only a handful of people stepped in here for breakfast, and none of them were impossible to deal with. So, for a few hours, Josh could enjoy a bit of peace before the lunch rush.

And it was always good to see a friendly face.

“Alright, fuck the pleasantries then.”

Usually.

Ava stretched her hand at Josh and waved it dramatically.

“In the name of the Dread Goddess Hekate, get me my usual.”

Josh punched in the register an order for an apple pie and a milkshake.

“That’ll be $2.78.”

Wordlessly, Ava hands him money and Josh went in the back to get her order.

“Talked to Tom today,” Ava said. “He looked really interested in the stuff I found in Cora’s shack. Maybe he can be my apprentice or some shit.”

“A witch’s apprentice?”

“Turned him down. Teaching is a rock bottom I’ll never hit.”

“Cuz the teacher’s at school we sooo great.”

“You get it.”

Josh finished up, pie in a paper bag and milk in hand.

“So, you talk to people,” she asked before he held out her order. “You’re social like that. Everyone’s gonna be at the memorial tonight, right?”

“Yup,” Josh nodded. “All seven of-”

Josh stops himself, remembering what happened to the seventh.

Ava’s face went steely, and for a moment it looked like she had a lot to say.

“Hand me my order,” she sighed. Josh obliged.

Before Ava walked out, she stopped and did a half turn. Josh sees several shifts to and from anger and sympathy.

“Tale care,” she said before leaving.

————————

Noah couldn’t remember the last time he and Josh talked.

So, when Josh sat next to him at the pep rally, he hoped his quietness came off as indifference, and hid his anxiety about the whole situation.

Josh didn’t seem to mind, since he started talking semi-comfortably. He was mellower and less gloomy than he used to be, and Noah felt the familiar jealously that was always the third companion amongst the two.

The pep rally ended after the blackout, Josh called everyone to meet after school, and four of them were stocking up on makeshift weapons.

When Josh told Noah that he won’t leave him again, he let himself believe it.

Noah halfheartedly thanked Josh, and for a second was afraid his sort-of-friend would take offense.

But instead, Josh smiled at him, and Noah felt like he was looking at sunshine.

A warm feeling bloomed in Noah’s chest, and it stuck around even when they were done talking and gone back to looking for weapons.

Noah remembered the warm feeling later on, when he noticed how Josh’s face was red when he was close enough to Lucas, how he stammered a bit more when the two were talking.

Noah wasn’t as dumb as he was as a kid. He knew that Josh liked Lucas. He also didn’t want to believe he was feeling jealousy, because of what it implied.

It wasn’t until during Britney’s party that Noah started to ask himself where these feelings for Josh came from. Was it sometime after everyone drifted apart, and their absence leaving an ache in his heart? Or was it before, when they were younger, innocent, and still friends?

After the party and after Josh revived his hope for the future (something he’d been doing well the past few days), his own personal devil reared its shadowy head, and signaled the end.

In the near future, while they were all forced to play the game again, Noah would wonder if anything could have happened to keep this whole mess from happening.

If he just told Redfield to fuck off, or just ignored him (no, her).

————————

“In school,” Andy said with a mouth full of pizza. “You froze up every time you had to present something. And up there, you didn’t break a sweat.”

Josh was taken by surprise when Stacy’s mom called him up to say a few words (he didn’t even think the town’s mayor even remembered his name). Surprisingly, where there was usually quick breath and sweating, there was just emptiness.

His mind flashed to Cora when he was up, about how she risked her life to help them and went to warn them while she was injured and dying.

And then it went to Noah.

He kept his part about Noah as brief as possible, and stepped down the second he gave his last “thank you”.

Josh would like to say that Lucas’s hug and quick kiss after the memorial made him feel better, but after talking about Noah, he couldn’t shake the feeling like he was betraying him.

“I get a lot of speech practice when dealing with customers from hell,” Josh finally answered, shrugging.

“You mean Ava?” Andy snarked.

“Andy, don’t be mean,” Lily scolded

“You think I take offense to that?” Ava grinned evilly. “I go there on the weekends.”

Josh finished his Graveyard, and turned to Lucas, right next to him.

“Bartender, one more.”

“One for me too,” Stacy smirked, wiggling her empty cup.

“I think you’ve both had enough,” Lucas said in mock seriousness.

“How can you stand to drink those?” Tom asked. “I almost hurled taking a sip!”

“That’s it, you’re dead to me,” Stacy pouted theatrically.

“Aw, come on,” Lily nudged Stacy with her shoulder. “We all just pledged our eternal devotion to each other five minutes ago!”

And just managed to avoid talking about Noah…

Noah could be here. Right now.

Maybe not here though. The others might still hate him, maybe not, but at least he’d be alive. Maybe everyone would even slowly come to stop hating him.

He could find a way to pay for culinary school. He could open up the diner he talked about…

And I wish I could just stop thinking about those last moments…

Josh has vague memories of blushing and being embarrassed around Noah when they were younger, but he didn’t think it had meant anything.

Every time Josh started thinking about his...crush, if he could call it that, he’d just start thinking of Lucas, and guilt of betrayal would stab at his gut.

Josh’s eyes drift over to Dan, who’s been silent the whole time, aside from giving halfhearted laughs and accepting Graveyard refills…

…along with bringing up the one who’s been on Josh’s mind for a while.

“Well…not the whole group.”

Josh remembered that this night would end, and that everyone would go back to dealing with their trauma.

Not alone. Please for the love of god not alone.

He felt like some kind of traitor again, for feeling this awful around people with whom he should be happy.

It shouldn’t feel like this, after all this time. We won, didn’t we?

He remembered the panic attack he talked Lily through by phone after Britney called him, begging for help. He remembered Ava’s blank face as the signs of a flashback started to show. He remembered the bags under Stacy’s eyes as she drank more coffee than was healthy. He remembered the late night texts from Andy faking small talk when he couldn’t sleep and needed some anchor to reality. He remembered the way Dan finally admitted with tears that he wasn’t fine, was anything but fine.

And he remembered seeing the thing that used to be Noah in the ruins, looking back at him with those white eyes before vanishing.

No, Josh realized. We didn’t.

————————

Seconds ago, Josh had gotten Noah out of Redfield’s (no, Jane’s) control as he was seconds away from being stabbed.

He goaded and taunted the monster they all feared since childhood, and fended it off with a whistle.

So this should be easy, right?

Taking Jane’s place so she could finally be free of the hell she spent nearly a decade in.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” Noah sobbed. “Please…please tell my mom-”

“Wait!” Josh said shakily. “It doesn’t have to be you!”

“Josh, please, it had to be me,” Noah begged. “Let me do this. Let me fix my mistakes.”

“NO!” he screamed. “Don’t you dare! Let me do this! Let me take her place instead!”

Except…

Josh didn’t say any of that.

He wanted to stop Noah, he wanted to so much, but no matter what, his throat wouldn’t obey.

When it mattered the most, all he could give is silence.

If the two of them were any closer, their faces would touch. Unfallen tears pooled in Noah’s eyes, filled with regret

Josh didn’t know what to do. He wanted to scream at Noah. He wanted to hug him and never let go. He wanted to punch him.

But Noah acted before Josh could.

His lips weren’t soft, but warm and gentle, and soon turn salty when tears hit their lips. Neither of them knew whose.

“I’m sorry,” Josh lost count of the number of times Noah’s apologized today. “I just…I needed to do that. Just once…”

Those are the last words Noah ever said as a human.

————————

The night ended with everyone promising to see each other tomorrow, and soon after that.

And so, here were Josh and Lucas, waiting together on a bench on the sidewalk for Josh’s mom to come pick them up and give Lucas a ride to his house.

Despite everyone parting with the unspoken promise of this goodbye isn’t for good, Josh couldn’t help that irrational fear that the opposite would be true, and they’d all fall apart over again.

“You good?” Lucas pulled Josh out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” he mumbled dumbly.

“You’re squeezing my hand pretty hard there,” Lucas shakes his hand holding Josh’s, and he finds out he’s right; Josh is squeezing Lucas’s hand like some kind of lifeline.

“Sorry,” Josh says sheepishly as he eases his grip, but Lucas gives a gentle squeeze, keeping him from pulling away.

“Hey, you’re alright,” Lucas says before Josh can apologize any more.

Josh smiled at him, not trusting himself to speak right now. Unfortunately, it just gave way to an awkward silence.

“Josh?”

“Yeah?”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Lucas asks.

“What…” do you mean, Josh wanted to say, but he just didn’t have the heart to lie to his boyfriend’s face.

“I know,” Josh sighed.

And he did. But that was a different story than being able to do it.

“I’m here for you. So is everyone else. And if something’s been on your mind, we’d all listen if you wanted to talk.”

Josh wanted to.

He probably needed to.

Josh remembered Dan, how he desperately needed someone to talk to, how he needed help, and what happened after he didn’t get it (it wasn’t his fault, it was mine).

But what could he possibly say?

Is it okay for me to have lingering feelings for someone else? Someone who betrayed us and led us to a monster? Someone who’s a monster now himself? Someone almost all of you understandably hate?

There’s no way he can bring that up. Not to his friends, not to his boyfriend.

“I don’t wanna talk,” Josh sighs. “Could we just…be here…? If that makes any sense?”

“It doesn’t,” Lucas jokes. “But it’s a good thing I’m a mind reader.”

Lucas put an arm around Josh, pulling him closer.

Josh rested his head on Lucas’s shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying his boyfriend’s presence.

In the future, when Josh finally found it in him to talk, he’d be able to go back to the cabin. Against all advice, he’d look for Noah in the shadowy figure that haunted the woods. And he’d find him. And soon after, Josh would be able to help more people who were forced into a world of monsters like he and his friends were.

[quite-actually-a-nacho]

got tagged by @tommyshaw for this neat little tag meme, thanks mo!!! sorry I took so dang long

Name: Victoria, but nobody calls me that at this point except as a joke or if it’s my teacher lol

Nickname: usually Tori or Tor but I accept any and all nicknames! I often forget to tell ppl my real name before the nickname oop

Gender: jersey gorl

Star sign: ♒️

Current time: 6:15 PM

Favorite artists: prepare yourself for there are many..... Enter the Haggis, Weird Al, Tom Waits, Rush, ELO, AC/DC, TMBG, Journey, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Def Leppard, Damn Yankees, Talking Heads, Iron Maiden, and Beethoven

Song stuck in my head: “Whatcha Gonna Do?” by Pablo Cruise and also “Time for Me to Fly” by REO Speedwagon

Last movie I saw: Weekend at Bernie’s

Last thing I googled: “bat”

Other blogs: @spaceward-comic-series for my comic I haven’t worked on in months :,^) was busy with schoolwork and trying to improve my art so it’ll look cool eventually

Do I get asks: once in a blue moon, usually about my art - it’s rather nice!

Reason for URL: just wanted to let ppl know I am quite actually a nacho and not a “human being”

Followers/Following: 136 followers, 53 following

Lucky number(s): 4 and 6, I just really like them and things look nicely arranged that way

Currently wearing: mom jeans, Def Leppard shirt and a snazzy Hawaiian shirt right over it

Dream job: to be a freelance illustrator, tucked away in a home office or a little studio working on projects for clients

Dream trip: a drive around the US would be neat and I wanna visit some countries from my background like Hungary and Ireland somehow

Favorite food: TOO many. But I really like homemade chicken rice and the chicken from this place called Boom Burger. I think I just really like chicken

Instruments: I used to play trumpet like a nerd but rn I toy around with my stylophone like a nerd lol - I really wish I had a cello or a bass guitar even though I don’t know how to play them at all

Favorite song: I guess it depends on whatever song I decide to attach myself to that week 😂 I’ve been listening to “Roll with the Changes” a lot the past few weeks by REO Speedwagon but also a lot of Journey songs and some Steely Dan again here and there

I will tag @codystheme @bevvybevvie @ray-rabies @signalsgirl2112 @grumpery @baycitystygian @psi-groovin @emmadangerheart @tommyshawawesome1976 @bilbao-song @melagerie for now and if you wanna join in please do!!!

[quirkwizard]

Hewwo. First off a big thank you for what you're doing, you're by far the best quirk/quirk accessories related blog on tumblr. Second, do you think Steely Dan's Lovers would work as a quirk?

Thank you. I appreciate your compliment and hope that I continue to make things you enjoy.

As a whole, I don’t think that the Lovers could work as a power. It’s small size could lead to a lot of brain mushing that could easily be exploited. The only reason why Steely Dan wasn’t more dangerous was because he wanted to torture people instead of actually killing them. The only aspect I think could work would be the pain reflection, though not to the extremes seen within the series, only increasing the pain by two instead of several times over. It would have the obvious drawback of needing to be hurt and the less obvious drawback of the opponent not actually getting the wound, just the stimuli. There would also need to be a way to implement it, such as some kind marking or gas. A possible name for the Quirk could be “Payback”.

[jessicasfilmblog]

Film Narrative 2 

Critical Reflection - Lady of the House

Sound Recordist/Sound Designer

Working on sound for this film was a great opportunity as I have never worked on this role before. It was fun to experiment post-production and play around with different tools to get the best result for the final film. I really enjoyed the supported pro-tools sessions as it helped to put me in a position where I could input my own creative ideas into the edit using software I had never used before.

In the rough stages of our idea we had supported group sessions with Kate Davidson and spoke about our ideas as a group. I felt this worked well in getting us all on the same page although it was difficult not having the director there. After having zoom calls and getting the whole team up to date we had a final script and were finally ready to plan for the shoot.

At the screening the audience reacted just how we wanted them too; with them laughing at all the right parts in the film. Our groups feedback was pretty positive with the comedy going down well. This is a relief as the script wasn't originally written as a comedy and thanks to Aisling's editing. In the edit Aisling cut down dialogue to change the tone of the film. I was also able to do this during the sound design process by adding in unrealistic sound effects like the twinkling of the vase and kissing noise. I think the song "Only a. fool would say that." by Steely Dan also works well to create a lighthearted tone to the film.

A criticism of the film we faced was the shot of the after-noon tea set up and close-up of the shaking cup when Scot was having their outburst. Whilst I agree that the shot does look out of place our teams thought process behind it was a lack of differentiating shots. Our film mainly contained close ups of both character's faces as the tension rises so we just wanted to give the audience something new to look at so that we keep their attention. Although, I think this did the opposite taking the audience out of the scene and instead distracting them with objects on a table.

Another criticism of the film was Credits and Title were both missing. I think this is down to lack of time at the end of the edit although I wish this was added in when the Editor and Director went back to Edit after sound production.

As a team we worked well together, although I think we could have benefited from more communication and everyone showing up to group workshops provided for us. When our group was developing the script and discussing ideas with Kate Davidson it was difficult as the director wasn't there to give their input. We overcame this by having group zoom calls at least once a week so that everyone was up to date.

During the shoot there were a few issues; the DoP and Director had a couple problems such as the DoP wanted to take establishing shots and master shots so that we had more variety to choose from in the edit and the Director not thinking that was necessary. I think this is furtherly down to the time pressure as we only had the Actor's and the room booked out for one day and the Director wanted to get all the shots he had in mind before the day was over and the sun went down. Although there was a time pressure on us I feel like it would have been useful to get these shots as it would have given Aisling more variety to choose from in the edit.

We faced a few problems in the editing stage. Aisling spent hours trying to make the film flow and actually make sense since on the day of the shoot the shots of both actors saying their lines was taken separately leaving the film to look clunky and not run smoothly. After the final Edit, Aisling the DoP and I met up a few times to discuss the sound edit and the next stages.

There was a slight problem of the director not coming to any editing classes so once I had finished the sound Edit (See last blog both for in-depth choices of my sound edit) the director came to watch the final film and wanted to make editing changes on Pro Tools. When we finally tried to export the edited pro tools version of the film with the film had a time stamp on it which we thought was originally just a convention of pro tools but we soon realised that this was on the film when it was originally exported onto pro tools before the sound edit.

Over the next few days there was a lot of pressure to get the film done on time and the director and editor exported my finished sound mix and decided to go back onto Avid, remove the time stamp and make the changes the director did on Pro Tools but on Avid and sync up the sound. I think the second export of the sound maybe made my mix quieter as at the crit it was difficult to hear my sound effects which I could hear clearly in the edit. From this almost disastrous post-production session I learnt that I should be more stern about the director seeing the finished product before it goes into pro tools and more demanding that they cannot change it once it is there.

At the crit I learnt a lot from watching my classmates films. I learnt how key sound design was to making a good quality film. Many of the films had great visuals and great stories to what I could tell but were let down by bad sound design and the film being too quiet. I now know to ALWAYS make sure to watch the film without headphones aswell as checking the levels and making sure to export it correctly. I think some groups were also let down by the recording on the day and not having proper equipment. So I noted to also keep consistent with the boom mic to make it easier for post-production.

Overall I think I learnt a lot from this project about time management, the basics of sound editing and recording and most of all how important communication is as a team. I'm excited to work on sound again in the future but also to try out new roles and work with new people.

[fantroll-purgatory]

Skurvi Meeday

Alternian gal for yis

@ancientvacation

Goooood as usual your trolls end up leaving me paralyzed just bc there’s so goddamn little that I actually want to change! What a good fucking troll!

Name: ’Skurvi’ is from the disease scurvy which ailed sailors due to a lack of vitamin C from citrus. ‘Meeday’ is from Artemiidae which is the taxonomical group for Brine Shrimp. It also evokes Artemis slightly, who was a God that travellers could pray to for good weather. It also sounds a little like ‘mayday’ which is a way to alert to a problem, often on ships and aircraft. All in all, her name is a reference to explorers and sailors as well as dangers they present and face.

Strife Specibus: Spadekind. The reason she uses it is because she thought it was a neat lowblood thing to have, and decided to use it to show off her ‘exotic’ weapon to others. It’s also telling that a seadweller would use a ground-based tool. Furthermore, actual monks often used a kind of spade as a weapon, as it could bludgeon, cut, and dig for remains. It’s a subtle way to tie to her light theme of S.E.Asian spirituality.

So to clarify, this is basically a character based on like, rich white women who have just been getting soooo into ayurveda recently without regard for the racial and cultural history behind those practices.

I love her as a character and if I met her in real life she can catch these Tamilian hands.

Fetch Modus: Namemodus. Skurvi thinks this is some amazing prayercirclemodus that requires you to sit down, meditate and really spiritually focus on the item before it’s summoned, taking great skill to do so. In reality, it’s a lowblood con that just releases the item upon it being named. Jokes on her.

Blood color: #7F007F -Violetblood, fits with the nauticality and exploration kind. Plus the type of people she’s lambasting are generally upper-class so it felt appropriate.

Ehhh I still don’t know if we have variants from the canon 12 colors unless they’re mutantbloods so if you wanna keep that compliant it’s better to bump it to #6a016a to be sure. But yeah she’s def a seadweller.

Symbol and meaning:It’s mainly meant to be a Brine Shrimp-like shape with the Violet language. It also resembles the symbol she uses in her quirk. I’d rather not use an extended zodiac sign.

It looks like, a little closer to indigoblood sign language than it does to violetblood? I’ll see what I can do to keep it with a few tweaks!

Trolltag: freshBodhisattva - ‘fresh’ is just a reference to freshwater, a subtle way of showing how much time she spends inland away from seawater. It’s also a way of saying ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ which is something Skurvi would do. 'Bodhisattva’ is a but more fun of a term. It’s a term for someone who has achieved Nirvana but remains on Earth out of compassion for those suffering. This fits Skurvi extremely well, or at least how she sees herself; someone who’s completely spiritually 'chill’ and 'humbled’ but also goes around visiting those lesser off to 'be with them’ when it’s really just fuelling her own delusion. This isn’t even the first time 'Bodhisattva’ has been used this way; my favourite Steely Dan song of the same name is about a Western business man looking to the East for quick and easy spiritual enlightenment, conflating all of Asia into one big exotic fantasy.

Went on for a bit there, but the tag is about how Skurvi mainly perceives herself, both her spiritual zen and her 'fascination’ with landwellers.

I think if you wanna hammer home the fetishism I’d suggest freshKarma, mainly bc like…Bodhisattva is still a term that means a whole lot to some folks? Whereas like…at this point most Indians I know make a distinction between “kuhrmuh” and “car-ma.” The latter’s a white people concept that’s basically like “if you do something bad today then bad things will come to you tomorrow” whereas the former is a fairly simple concept: if you do not follow your dharma, then you are implicated in the consequences of that choice, even if such consequences only turn up in another life.

I kinda like that tag more because it basically immediately shows her whole ass.

Quirk:She replaces 'tT’ and any 'en’ sounds with ’¥’ the Yen sign. This is mean to be a joke to people who get tattoos of things like Chinese characters without knowing what they mean. Similarly, Skurvi has adopted this 'super cool symbol’ into her speech with the joke being to us is that is’s actually a completely mundane symbol. Symbolism aside, it resembles her symbols and horns somewhat, as well as a little 'v’ for victory sign on top. Really, the symbol and horns could use some editing.

Man yeah I like that enough that I wanna preserve the feel of your symbol to keep the quirk.

Special Abilities (if any):None.

Lusus: Seamomkey - A loving if distant lusus. This is because when Skurvi was still rather young, her lusus went into a state of Cryptobiosis, a real process Brine Shrimp can go through which is how they can be packaged and sold under their more popular name, Sea Monkeys. Because of the lack of a parental figure in her life, Skurvi has been travelling in order to make up for her lack of valuable Life experiences by creating her own. 

Awwwwwwwwww

Personality: Skurvi as she is right now is rather safe for a Violetblood. She doesn’t command authority, at least explicitly, nor does she intimidate others into doing what she wants, at least she doesn’t feel like she is. On outward appearances, Skurvi’s a rather friendly and outgoing troll, if a little privileged and caught up in her own bubble without really thinking about everyone else all that much.

Skurvi sees a value and mystique in the 'quaint’ way landwellers live, especially lowbloods. This outward and overt interest in them has made her somewhat antagonising in whatever school, couldn’t resist the pun, of other seadwellers she hangs out with. They call her an 'air-head’ because of how much time she spends on land. Skurvi doesn’t mind this name and actually embraces it, considering it a nice epithet of her story.

The actual meaning of the label isn’t wrong because as well as antagonising, zen, and amicable, Skurvi’s also kinda dumb. Like, gullible really. She’ll believe a lot of things you tell her if you add the caveat that it’s some 'ancient landweller secret’.

Skurvi’s based off a certain type of people that I’m not sure may be present all around the world? Before you head off to university in my country, a lot of people elect to go on a gap year in order to travel, explore and see the world much like Skurvi does. What this often actually involves is going to South East Asian, stroking a drugged-up tiger, getting a nonsense tattoo, buying harem pants and coming back so 'enlightened’ and 'spiritual’. Drug use is also pretty common.

I think her personality might need some more nitty-gritty to it, but this is what I have so far.

NO I FUCKING GET IT.

There’s a girl that used to be peripheral to my friend group who would jet off to various countries each summer and would like, come back from a fucking ashram and talk about how she truly understood how the other side lives. Nah, this is a well-rounded character because tbh that was her entire personality. Still is, a little bit.

Interests: Skurvi’s chief interest is voyaging, going out to land and finding people or places to meet and greet. She likes experiencing the landweller way of life in eating their food, going to their hives and making herself comfy. She’s often a little insensitive and somewhat patronising with her trips however, either antagonising the mid to highbloods she meets and often intimidating the lower bloods based on her high noble caste. If some noble barged into your house to be entertained, wouldn’t you be panicked?

Other than that, she often documents her trips on her blog. These often focus more on herself, how she experienced things, felt about things, and perceived things, so there’s rarely a name on it other than her own. She’s immensely proud of her blog and sees it as a shrine of sorts, a testament to how much she’s 'grown’.

Speaking of growing, she likes cultivating plants, and often decorates her house to try and replicate the zen and order she feels in landweller hives. Her sense of Feng-shui isn’t exactly refined and the plants she grows aren’t exactly traditional. Her use of them is 'spiritually medicinal’ but she really just gets baked out of her mind and falls asleep with reality TV reruns on.

I think her current interests are very rooted, sorry, in Life and could perhaps use one or two more 'out-there’ ones to not just simply have 'hippie stoner troll’.

I think if you want to add another aspect of hers, maybe she’s like…really into holidays? Like the kind of troll who knows it’s Alternian Pancake Day and of course she has the decorations for it! It also gives her a means to justify her zest for travel; she just loves joy, and loves collecting joyful experiences whenever possible!

Title: Page of Life, actively serves herself Life - After her lusus entered it’s catatonic state, Skurvi has been in a state of arrested development that she was very aware of at the time. She started travelling as a means to remedy this, taking active control of her own valuable growth experiences by going on 'enriching’ trips to better herself. Over time, she thinks that she’s been able to perfectly grow and mature as a person, achieving a zen state of being, hence her chill demeanour. In reality, she’s made little to no progress on escaping this arrested development, as she’s not really 'learning’ anything from her trips. They’re just a way for her to believe she’s gone on an amazin enriching quest where in reality she’s just barged into a random lowblood’s house, inadvertently intimidated them to spend time with her, 'teach’ her things and more often than not eats their food whilst taking a memento back, even if said memento is the lowblood’s only bowl for instance.

Right, I forgot that you and I use difference verbiage for classes! I typically think of Pages as an Exploit class, and given the verbiage you use I think I’d personally classify her as a Thief of Life? Like she’s suspending the growth of everyone around her to benefit her own, and is passively utilizing the rules of Alternian society to facilitate that.

D/Ancestor: I have a concept in mind for her dancestor, a person who travels to classify and examine Life as opposed to making experiences for her own. The dancestor is definitely more of a scientific explorer than a leisure sailor, like Charles Darwin 'hence the Seamonkey lusus’. As for the ancestor, I’ve got nothing clear honestly.

For the ancestor how about literally just the Darwinan, doing exactly what you just said?

Land:Nothing so far

How about Land of Permafrost and Parthenogenesis (LOPAP)? The permafrost pretty much effectively leaves her landlocked and drives home her lack of development as a person! Which leads to her second word: Parthenogenesis, a method by which brine shrimp reproduce without fertilization. In her case, I think we could actually do something similar to paradox cloning to repopulate the planet’s citizens? i like this because it’s a case of borrowing from an existing duty with a purpose, stripping it of its context, and repurposing it for her own growth and development.

Dream Planet:Also unsure

I think she’d think she’s a Derse, but she’s a Prospit. She’s not leading any mass changes, nor is she even changing herself all that much.

Speaking of not changing all that much….I futzed with the symbol and horns and made some color adjustments but otherwise she’s good to go.

Thanks again for this woman! She’s awful but like. In a really good way.

-TR

[ruixzine]

I’m a damn liar.

So I just finished a full re-read of every blog post I ever wrote for this Tumblr and I have some takeaways. First, it turns out, I’m actually not too shabby of a writer. I mean, sometimes I’ll read something I wrote from years ago and either laugh or get irritated, but I think this blog is pretty interesting and funny. That said, now that I’ve sucked my own dick a bit, re-reading this blog has also made me want to start writing posts again. But, I mean, I’ve said that a lot. Like, remember in that last post when I said I was going to start regularly posting blog entries again? That ended up being a total lie. Why did you ever trust me? Would you believe that was four years ago? Evidently, my time here in Denver has warranted nothing interesting to write about and nothing has happened to me since then worth mentioning. 

Obviously that’s not true. But how do I resurrect this thing and at the same time, keep myself interested enough to keep posting? At this point, it would be tough to fit four years’ worth of shit (including my graduating from film school) into one blog post, and I wouldn’t wanna do it that way anyway. That will make this post so long that no one would ever wanna read it. So perhaps I’ll start little by little, and start telling you about things as I think of them, yeah? I mean, a lot has happened since 2017 when I posted ONE post and completely bailed again. Even more has happened since 2016, which is when I was last really active.

First and foremost, let me share with you all an entry that I started in January of 2018 that I never finished and thus never posted and that will fill in at least some partial blanks. Here is that text:

Well, it’s officially a new year. And that means trying like hell to work on things about myself that I will inevitably abandon by February. Mine are mostly the same as last year: “lose weight,” “write more,” “do a comedy open mic,” “lighten the fuck up,” and always “play more music.” I got off to a great start on the first thing by eating two bags of microwave popcorn and drinking a case of Pabst on the first day of the year. When Kim questioned me about it, I actually used the excuse “we’ve got to get rid of it somehow” and I was not in the least bit kidding. Well... false starts have always been a part of my life, so there’s always tomorrow. I am writing on the 2nd, after all so a little procrastination is obviously in my nature.

I’ll come back to the second and third things in a minute. Since I’m probably never going to fully lighten up, I will have to stop trying to resolve this. I’m just going to accept the fact that uncontrollably screaming the foulest of obscenities at, for instance, my shoelace when I step on it and accidentally untie it is just who I am. Some unresolved anger issues, perhaps leftover from my childhood, are always going to be there and it’s silly to fight them off now that I’m going to be forty. I’ll just embrace them and hope that other people/things stop not going my way this year.

Oh, that... yeah, I’m going to be forty this year. That’s kind of weird to me, although I remember turning thirty being kind of weird as well. Like, I was all midlife crisis-y over it leading up to the birthday (minus the sports car or mistress, of course). But then when the day came, I barely thought about it at all. It helped that I was in Boston with two of my best buddies going to Red Sox games and getting too hammered to think about it. But I do remember it weirding me out. Also, after hating them my whole life, I started liking Steely Dan, like, overnight it seemed. I wonder if I’ll start liking something on my 40th that I’ve always hated. Maybe it’ll be green bean casserole. I’ve always wanted to like that. Fuck, I hope it’s not George Thorogood though.

“Play more music” is a realistic goal for 2018. The last time I posted here, I was jamming with a local Denver band called The Trip with a pal of mine from work. That is no longer happening, unfortunately. Why isn’t really important or that interesting. So I’m going to focus on what is currently happening. The band that Jeremy and I started (and Drew joined later... I talked about this last time, so go read the last post if you’re lost) is going strong. We now have a name, New Standards Men, a couple shows under our belts (and more on the horizon), a handful of digital releases on our bandcamp page and a physical release recorded by one Mr. Luke Tweedy at Flat Black Studios in the can. That’ll be on the way soon. Hoping to maybe do a little jaunt around Colorado this spring and/or perhaps even a full coastal tour in summer. Who knows? We’ll see how realistic all that is. My point is this, though: I am playing music... and it’s been one of the most rewarding bands I’ve ever played in. I just can’t say enough great shit about it. Please, if you get a chance, listen to it and come see it. Okay, actually that is enough great shit said about it.

Now... the others. “Write more” and “do an open mic.” Many of you who know me know that for some time now, I’ve wanted to try my hand at stand up but something or other always prevents me and I always never do it. I don’t know if it’s chickening out, exactly... some shyness may definitely be a factor... but it’s not like I haven’t gotten up in front of a crowd and said funny shit before. I have. I think for the most part, it’s the fact that sitting down to write an act seems like such the biggest bummer to me. But I’m not like an Andrew “Dice” Clay kinda guy where I can get on stage and talk about tits for an hour and it’s funny. I think I need to prepare something. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. I don’t know. All I know is that I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time, and now that I live in a city with a bit more anonymity, the time is fucking now. Plus, by the way, I have seen some comics, actually met and know some comics now from around the scene and some of them, their acts are so unfunny it’s depressing. So if they can do it and not be embarrassed by their terrible shit, then it’s time I step up and at least try it. I may be terrible too. But I think this might be the year.

Which brings me to the last thing I mentioned above: “write more.” Two things I’ll say about that. 1) I love writing and I hate writing. I just got done saying that writing a bunch of jokes for a five-minute open mic set sounds like way more of a chore than it does fun, and now I’m saying I want to write more. Once I get going, I actually do love it. It’s therapeutic in a way I can’t explain.. But getting around to actually doing it? Fuck. Most nights I’d rather just veg out and watch the fucking A-Team or something and not think about writing anything. The last blog post I wrote was in April. It’s now January, for chrissakes. Now, a lot of that inactivity I can blame on 2) school. I finished up my first semester back in school a couple weeks ago. It’s film school, so I’m writing scripts and shit. It’s different than I’m used to, but kind of cool. But also, when it’s happening it’s a drag... because the difference is, I have to do it. So give me a bunch of writing assignments with deadlines and that’s the easiest way to get me to ignore recreational writing. I know, I know... this is not anyone’s problem but my own. But I need to force myself to do this more.

Now, if you’re still tuned in and reading this, you are a good friend, or you’re my mother. Either way, thanks. That was a whole lot of diarrhea of the mind that needed to be flushed out. But that is kinda what this site is about. So let’s turn our attention away from the future and back toward the past. 2017 is over, dudes. I mean, that’s a big deal considering the country is still being run by an insane, sentient My Pet Monster doll. I thought maybe he would have gotten us all killed by now but no such luck. Anyway, I thought I would talk a little bit about my year this past year because a lot has happened. If you’re a regular reader, some of this info may be repeat. Then again, I think my only other entry was the one I already mentioned back in April. So even if it is repeat info, it’ll be good repeat info.

The most recent and probably the most significant event of this past year is the aforementioned semester at University of Colorado Denver I just finished. Some initial reflections on that: First of all, when I moved here with school in mind, I didn’t realize the program I was looking at was essentially film school. I thought I was getting into a kind of media studies degree. I also didn’t know it was going to be minimum eight semesters... Four fucking years. It’s going to be weird graduating college when I am 42 years old. And then still not having any guarantee that I’m going to be able to work and live comfortably... which is kinda the point. So needless to say, I’m getting cold feet a little. Although, not to toot my own horn, but my grades were god damn exemplary, so that did kinda warm them a bit. And it’s not that I still couldn’t change my major around a little bit to better suit me, I’m just not exactly sure what it is I want to be doing. Not just in the future, but in general. Like, now either. Again, I love playing with Drew and Jeremy and I’m still killing it at my job at the record store, but I feel like there’s more I could be doing. More I should be doing. And I’m not 100% convinced that finishing a bachelor’s degree in an industry that is hard to break into is the right next step. I was going to use this holiday downtime to kind of figure out some shit about my life. But here it is half over and I’m still not sure.

Wow.. So, where to even begin on the dissection of THAT post. It is now the fall of 2021 and not only have we, as a nation, (mostly) survived a global pandemic and the remainder of the Trump presidency, but nearly everything in that post no longer applies to my life. I’ll just go down the list, in rapid-fire succession:

Kim and I broke up and we no longer live together.

I not only turned forty, but have since turned forty-one, forty-two AND forty-three

I was fired from New Standards Men by two of my best friends, only ONE of whom I have since repaired my relationship

I still haven’t technically done a stand-up open mic, but am still holding out hope that I will man-up and do it one of these days.

I did stick with film school and, in fact, graduated this past May. And guess what? I’m not doing a damn thing with it.

Those are all the main points, I’d say. And they’re worth getting into, but I don’t wanna blow my entire wad here in this return post. So within the next couple of weeks/months I will get into all of these points (and likely more) in detail. Hopefully, writing about my experiences the last few years will prove both beneficial and therapeutic to me. 

[sh3walksinbeauty]

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 30 blogs you would like to get to know better

Tagged by: @a-brighter-yellow​ (Heeeeeyyyy!)

Nickname(s): My uncle used to call me Olive Oil as a kid because I was very thin, all in love

Gender: Cis-woman

Zodiac: Pisces

Height: 5′0; a nurse tried to tell me I was 5′1″ at an appointment, and I don’t believe her.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea! Earl Grey with honey and a dash of non dairy milk, specifically! The more bergamot, the better!

Fav band(s): One Direction, Fall Out Boy (don’t @ me), Steely Dan, and the Doobie Brothers

Fav solo artist(s): Janelle Monae, Beyonce, Bruno Mars, Niall Horan, Harry Styles, John Legend, Nicole Beharie (yep, she sings!), and Prince

Song stuck in my head: Either Kill the Lights (Alex Newell?) or Our Own House (MisterWives) lately

Last movie I saw: I just re-watched Titanic. Props to Kate Winslet for playing the shit out of a 17 year old, because Rose was the worst teenager to ever teenager in that movie. That’s what happens when you marry a child, Cal!

Last show I saw:  I’m loving the hell out of Legion. It’s brought me back to my philosophical, navel gaze-y days. Also, I’m re-watching Sleepy Hollow very slowly and with lots of tears.

When did I create my blog: 2015 when I found my love for One Direction

What do I post: Mostly re-blogging One Direction stuff and Black Excellence; this blog is more a collection of things I want to keep in one place than an actual blog

Last thing I googled: phenomenology and mental illness

Do I have any other blogs: Nope, I don’t think there’s much I have to say that needs to be heard, you know. I mean, this is just gonna go out into the void. 

Do I get asks: Nope.

Why did I choose my url: It’s from a hilarious moment on Community by Donald Glover about Inception (https://youtu.be/0henrqeTzyA)

Following: 106

Followed by: There’s a smooth 37 of y’all, and I believe most of those are porn blogs. Heeeeyyyy!

Favorite color(s): black, dark green, bright purple

Average hours of sleep: I average about 6-7, but once a week I work from home and I can get a solid 8-9 the night before.

Lucky number: 5?

Instruments: I played clarinet in band from grades 5-11, and I have an acoustic guitar that I don’t know how to play.

What I’m wearing: Jeans and a blouse--it’s casual Friday at work!

Dream job: Being independently wealthy and spending the rest of my life fortifying a castle in Scotland against the inevitable zombie apocalypse and moving my family in

Dream trip: Scotland or Ireland; I wanna see all that green

Fav food: Meat, lamb specifically. And bourbon. And fries. 

Nationality: Blackity Black Black Black

Fav song: I don’t have one. That’s like asking me to choose a favorite child. 

Last book I read: I’m in the middle of re-reading The Shining, and I’m also reading Octavia Butler’s Seed to Harvest series

Last fanfic I read: I’m not a big fic reader. I used to be years ago, but I fell off and never really got back into it. 

Random fact: I keep a note on my phone with all of the movies I want to see and when they come out for the next 2-3 years; when I’m sad or stressed out I check it and go to the movies. The movie theater is my happy place.

I don’t know 30 people on this app, so I’ll tag some mutuals. Hey, mutuals! @alwaysyoutour, @cutenosewiggle, @feellikearainbow, @doubledenimniall, @harrysglittertour, @tresorlou

[nickgerlich]

Not Enough

Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts, whatever you do is simply not enough. Case in point: Kohl’s, and their partnership with Amazon to accept and process the online giant’s returns. The program, launched in 2017, was designed to build store traffic inside Kohl’s, and everyone returning something to Amazon was given a discount coupon they could redeem immediately.

But those sales just did not materialize, and now an activist group of investors, which owns 9.5% of the company, is trying to topple the apple cart. The group wishes to install nine hand-picked persons to the Board of Directors.

Kohl’s, like many major department stores, is struggling, thanks to COVID and the recent switch by many to online shopping. Amazon is clearly the major beneficiary of that, but they are not the only one eating Kohls’ lunch. Target and TJ Maxx are also putting the squeeze on a company that is often one of their neighbors in the strip mall.

So what went wrong? Why wasn’t Kohl’s able to convert these visitors into customers? And how the hell does a minority ownership group get to make such demands anyway?

The error of their ways is pretty clear: Kohl’s is just a “meh” store in terms of its offerings, and customers (both actual and potential) have learned to see through the smokescreen of their constant sales. That’s another way of prompting people to conclude that prices have been jacked up beforehand, only to be “lowered” to normal levels with coupons and promos. There’s just not a lot of compelling reasons to shop there. In fact, the one time I did do an Amazon return there, I gave someone else my discount coupon.

As for the investors, it turns out that while 9.5% is not a lot on paper, it is a rather significant power block if the rest of the company’s ownership group is highly decentralized. While they may be able to get their chosen ones onto the Board, though, the company has a lot of work to do if it wants to remain relevant.

First and foremost will be upping its merchandising, which the activists want to do. For the most part, a visit to Kohl’s quickly reinforces its dowdy image. It needs to go on-trend more, like Target has been doing, and reach for a more youthful-minded market.

Furthermore, it needs to follow through--and quickly--with its plans to put Sephora shops within its stores. Sephora has been a JC Penney mainstay for many years, but recently the beauty products giant severed those ties and announced plans to partner with Kohl’s. The only problem is that the rollout is planned to take quite some time, which Kohl’s does not have the luxury of taking on.

While shoppers still love sales, maybe Kohl’s needs to scale back on the constant discounting. It creates deal-prone shoppers who know never to pay full price, and instead simply wait a few weeks for whatever it is they want to come back on deal.

It’s too bad the Amazon partnership has not panned out as planned, because it was actually genius at the core. It’s just that when the store doesn’t give you a good reason to do anything beyond dropping off your returns, you’ve just taken on somebody else’s dirty work. There’s no future in being that fool (paging Steely Dan).

Meanwhile, this new anemometer I just received from Amazon does not work, and for the life of me, I cannot think of any good reason to go to Kohl’s to return it. I’ll just drop it off at the UPS store and be on my way.

Dr “Keep Your Coupons“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[weallliveinaddijubluhlachbe-blog]

I was tagged by @pasteljohnlennon oMG i feel blessed thank you friend <3

1. Nicknames: Flower Flower princess (uwu lmao), Dingus, Joans, Jie-Jie, dumbass, tits mcgee 2. Gender: Female 3. Star sign: Gemini / Cancer 4. Height: 5ft 5. Time: 2:08 AM 6. Birthday: July 17th, 1998 7. Favorite Bands: The Beatles, The Kinks, The Hollies, Tommy James & The Shondells, Sublime Psycedelic Furs, Toadies, The Garbage (garden oops and their other infinite bands), Pwr Bttm,  The Doors, Melodys Echo Chamber, Foxygen, Cheap Trick, The Ramones, The Raveonettes, Failure, together pangea, Fidlar, Dramarama, The Pixies, Supertramp, No doubt, Scorpions, Deep Purple, Fleetwood Mac, Echo and the Bunnymen, Uncle Acid & The Dead Beats, Cults, Crystal Castles, Thieves Like Us, Steely Dan, The Dandy Warhols, of Montreal, The Replacements, Girpool, Bauhaus, The Cure, Arctic Monkeys, Cocteau Twins, Joy Division, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Kills, Slutever, nterpol, Bosnian raibows, the Breeders, The Smiths, Pink Floyd, Dope Lemon, The Modern Lovers, Grouplove, Shannon and the Clams, Hunx & his Punx...ok that’s...probably enough...hehe 8. Favorite Solo Artists: Mac DeMarco, Bob dylan, Joan Baez, Donovan, Lana del Rey, David Bowie, Jacques Dutronc, Chelsea Wolfe, King Dude, Goth Babe (idk if it’s solo or a band but...whatever it is i dig it ) Goldfrapp, Perfume Genius, Alice Cooper, Janis Joplin, PJ Harvey, Jay Reatard, Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Phil Collins, Cher yeah 9. Song stuck in my head: Dead meat by personal and the pizzas 10. Last movie I watched: American Ultra no wait sorry oof it was Kingsman Golden Circle 11. Last show I watched: Night Sweats 12. When I created my blog: uh idk but just a short few months ago, no...maybe two? I think it was sometime in August, mayb e just shortly before... 13. What do I post?: Only Beatles stuff bc this is my # beatls deignated blog 14. Last thing I googled: uh my favourite actor...michael seater.. 15. Do you get asks?: DON’T BET YER LIFE!! lmao pls 16. Why did you choose your url?: well i had this idea..well, actually yellow submarine was stuck in my head then i just randomly thought of...what if it were..this..and yeah. that’s my thinking process. you’re welcome. 17. Following: 366 18. Followers: 458 <3 ilu 19. Favorite colors: green n yellow n eathy tones ynow 20. Average hours of sleep: 6 21. Lucky number: 7 or 17...i cant remember 22. Instruments: uh clarinet and guitar lmfao woosh 23. What am I wearing?: it’s pretty black n white lmfao shirt that says spaced out n ha planets on it n sweats that have eyes on them 24. How many blankets I sleep with?: my duvet?? sometimes i sleep w a thin on under me if its cold 25. Dream job: honestly i dont know i just know one day i wanna own a themed restaurant idk if that my dream job just smthn i wanna do 26. Dream trip: another go round disneyworld...or like!! hawaii....or anywhere that has like really blue reef n lagoons or pretty crystal clar waters mmm i love those places they are so tranquil... 27. Favorite food: kedgeree or fish tacos...mmm.. 28. Nationality: Canadian 29. Favorite Song: rn it’s Just like a woman by Bob Dylan (or as i like 2 call him...boba <3 )

n idk abt tagging?? uh! ig these couple a folks here: @prettyjohnnylennon n @sgt-paul