#this is actually embarrassing ive gone into so much detail | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floralseokjin · 4 years ago

Text

⤑ made-up love song ii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, things are heating up! the phrase ‘dilf dick’ gets thrown around way too much, RJ and taehyung cameo, hoseok, yoongi and namjoon are mentioned, as well as jungkook if you squint words; 12,169

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After Seokjin dropped you off at the station, he and Arin waving you goodbye, it would be two weeks later when you saw him again. Not that you were holding out on it or anything… No way… That would be ludicrous.

The last week of school was always hectic, activities and games top priority now that teaching had come to a standstill. The children were hyper, the teacher’s worn out, but without fail you always looked forward to the summer fate. Head of the committee every year, you and a handful of your fellow teachers organised each game, each stall and each prize. As well as wanting the children to have fun, it was also an opportunity to celebrate their achievements throughout the year with their families. There were an arrange of awards for most subjects, third through to first place for each grade, and this year you’d convinced the principal, Mr. Jung, to include a new creative writing award. It wasn’t technically a subject – you already had the spelling bee for English class, but he’d thought it was a great idea to celebrate the students’ talents in a brand new way.

Of course, there was one child you had in mind when you’d gone to him with the idea – Arin. It was only fair in your eyes, she’d been with you not even three months and hadn’t had a chance like the other kids. The other awards were spoken for but you wanted her to at least get something, just so first grade could end on a good note for her and help her look forward to September.

You were at the entrance of the fate, in casual conversation with Mrs. Jeon as well as greeting the students’ families, when you caught a glimpse of Seokjin. He was hand in hand with Arin who skipped happily beside him. He was wearing a sea green thin sweater, that blew in the light breeze, and black jeans. He was even in sneakers. Way more unbelievable than the slippers. He looked effortlessly good, and you thought you preferred him like this, casually dressed. The suits were great yes, but he looked far more attainable like this. Not that you wanted to attain him.

Damn it.

You tried your best to ignore the strange heat that had seemed to settle in your chest at the sight of him, the faintest flurry of what could only be described as butterflies aggravating your stomach. What the hell? What was wrong with you?

“Hello, Miss.” Arin grinned, giving you a small wave, and you shook yourself out of it.

“Hi, Arin,” you waved back, of course catching Seokjin’s eyes in the process.

“Miss. Y/L/N,” he greeted, the hint of a smirk across his mouth. Teasing, again. Two could play at that game.

“Mr. Kim,” you replied, unable to keep a straight face – especially when you heard him laugh as he passed by you.

You watched him walk off, secretly pleased now that you knew he was here. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, wouldn’t dare tell anyone, but you’d been hoping he’d be free to attend the fate. To see Arin receive her reward, of course – nothing else. But, okay, maybe you had spent an embarrassingly long time choosing which dress to wear last night. Not that you wanted to impress him, more like… stand out.

“Who is he?” Mrs. Jeon whispered animatedly – hopefully out of earshot and once again knocking some sense back into you.

You tried to sound casual, like you weren’t aware of Seokjin’s jaw-dropping good looks – or more so, that they didn’t affect you whatsoever. “A student’s father.”

She made a noise of disbelief. “He is just pure… sex on legs.”

“Eunbi!” You exclaimed, taken by such surprise you used her first name. She burst out laughing, something you couldn’t ignore and ended up in a fit of giggles yourself.

“Behave.” You warned, trying to compose yourself. “You’re a married woman.” You’d attended her wedding last summer, bringing along Soojung as your plus one.

“Looking is still allowed,” she replied, making you both explode into laughter once again.

You were giddy. Really, what was up with you?

The afternoon was a success, the children and their families enjoying immensely, as well as the teachers. It was your job to announce the creative writing reward and it was so heart-warming to see how happy it made Arin to come first place. She held her little trophy and movie theatre vouchers proudly for the camera, Seokjin looking just as over the moon as her. Mr. Jung convinced him to join for a few snaps and you looked on with a polite smile. Other than earlier and a thank you as you passed the prize to Arin, those had been your only interactions with Seokjin for the day and now the fate was drawing to a close. You wouldn’t say you were disappointed, because that would be preposterous, but if those were going to be your only exchanges then it made the times he’d fleeted into your mind these past couple of weeks highly embarrassing…

It wasn’t as if you wanted to think about him, he just kept popping up. First you blamed Soojung, who wouldn’t shut up about Mr. Dilf for a few days after the exchange at his house (mansion), but soon the topic bored her, no new developments to keep her hooked. You on the other hand found yourself imagining instances where you’d bump into one another again. You know, happenstances… Like if he had the time to drop Arin off at school, although you doubted he’d end up in the staff parking lot again… You’d had a good giggle to yourself remembering his face when he’d realised.

Other incidents were less realistic, like maybe he’d drop off a thank you present the students liked to gift to say goodbye, or maybe you’d bump into him at the grocery store, the park – highly improbable, but you found yourself thinking all these things when you were procrastinating or trying to get to sleep.

Even now as you tried to win a prize at the Ring Toss stall – don’t ask how much money you’d already spent – (obviously using your free time wisely before you were needed again), you found yourself disappointed that things hadn’t worked out quite like you’d imagined today. You were being stupid. The guy was supposed to annoy the heck out of you, yet here you were unable to stop thinking about him. It had been a long time since a man had gotten you this distracted. A really long time…

“Can I help?”

You jumped at the sound of Seokjin’s voice, granted you were in deep concentration, about to launch the hoop, but you felt like you’d been caught doing something wrong. As if he knew you’d been thinking about him, caught you in the act. You whipped your head up, forcing yourself to relax and smile.

“I’ve been watching you try to win for the past ten minutes.” He chuckled. Great. How embarrassing. He stepped closer. “What do you have your eyes so set on?”

Oh, god. Even more embarrassing. You had a split second to make a decision. Be truthful or lie and choose something else. You know what, who cared? You were thirty and still loved stuffed animals. It wasn’t out of the ordinary.

“The alpaca.” You pointed to the white fluffy animal sat on the top shelf. With his cute round face and a red scarf wrapped around his neck, he was adorable and you really wanted him.

Seokjin wasn’t fazed at all. “He’s cute. I’ll try but don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

You nodded and handed him the hoops. He needed to loop all three around the skittles. You watched him with anticipation, thinking to yourself this definitely wasn’t one of your fantasies, but you liked it regardless. Liked it even better when Seokjin managed to win.

“Thank you, Seokjin,” you smiled, his name still feeling strange to say aloud. The man in charge of the game passed you your new ‘pet’ and you held it fondly, unable to stop yourself. Your landlord didn’t allow animals so you’d had to improvise over the years. You’d never had an alpaca before, but you were sure he’d fit right in.

“No problem, I’m glad I could be of service.” He chuckled.

There was a silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was new. You were so used to Seokjin joking about you were expecting him to take the lead. Today he was quiet, actually right now he looked pretty awkward.

You opened your mouth to ask him how he was when you suddenly realised something. How stupid of you. You’d been so distracted by the stuffed animal you hadn’t realised a little certain someone was missing. “Where’s Arin?”

“She’s playing with a friend and their family.” You watched him scratch the back of his neck, looking at you, but not really making eye contact. “Y/N, do you maybe want to take a walk? We could find some where to sit and talk?”

“About what?” You could’ve kicked yourself. Why did you have to ask that? You were just a little dazed from hearing him say your name again.

“Uh, just about Arin really.”

You didn’t really know what you’d been expecting so any answer would’ve surprised you, but you nodded, taking him up on the offer. “Okay.”

You knew a bench away from the fate but still on school grounds, and you walked side by side, noticing just how tall and broad he was. His shoulders looked unbelievable in that sweater, and it hugged his chest perfectly when the light breeze of the afternoon hit him, his well-built chest visible. Not that you were staring or anything, you just happened to notice…

You small talked along the way. Not much, mostly about the fate, but it was enough for you to hit your destination without any awkward silence. You wracked your brains as you sat, wondering what he had to say about Arin. Maybe he wanted to discuss her stories more, thank you for the prize she’d won. What you did know though, was that his cologne really did smell amazing. It was woody, maybe spicy, and just plain addicting. This close proximity was wreaking havoc with you again. You sat the alpaca between you both on bench, acting as a barrier for your sanity.

Seokjin patted its head absentmindedly before he side-eyed you, that amused smile you’d become familiar with upturning the corners of his mouth. “You seem a lot less scrappy today.”

You raised both eyebrows, thrown for a moment. “Scrappy?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, “a lot less intimidating.”

You? Intimidating? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? The sheer power of Seokjin’s brow line alone could bring a person to quivering knees, and that wasn’t mentioning the obvious, like you know, his face. However, he seemed genuine enough. You didn’t really consider yourself feisty, but then again, when pushed to your limits maybe something just snapped inside of you. You had powers you weren’t aware of, obviously. Better own them then…

You gave a small shrug, smirking slightly. “Maybe I’ve chosen to forgive and forget.”

He chuckled again, genuinely amused, but you sensed some reluctance his end, a slight awkwardness. Was he stalling? You suddenly grew a little nervous. The dynamics you’d grown somewhat used to during your last few encounters had shifted without you knowing. Seokjin was a lot less teasing today. How come?

“So,” you pressed carefully, unable to handle the anticipation. “What was it you wanted to say?”

He lifted his head up, warm eyes meeting yours and your insides did that flurrying thing again. Your imagination hadn’t concocted this. When he smiled you realised how kind it was – how kind it could be when he wasn’t being infuriating. “I just want to thank you.”

Your eyes widened before you could control the surprise. “Thank me?”

He nodded, relaxing a little now, pressing his back into the bench. “For being such an amazing teacher to Arin these past couple of months.”

Of course, Arin. That’s what he’d said in the beginning, right? He wanted to sit and talk about Arin.

“That’s really no problem,” you smiled. It was your job after all. Yes, teachers liked being appreciated for their hard work, but personally, praise sent you a little red in the face.

You didn’t know if he heard you, already continuing, as if he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say. “It’s been really hard on her, the change – you know, uprooting the life she knew to come and live with me. New school, making new friends. She was incredibly worried, but you made it so much easier for her.”

Looking at you again, sounding so genuine, you found yourself freezing. You stumbled a little over your words before managing to come up with something functional. “Of course, it’s my job to make every student comfortable in my class.” You were sure any teacher would’ve treated her with the same kindness and care. But, yes, truthfully you had become very fond of her in such a short time. You wanted him to know that in a roundabout way. “I’ll miss her come September.”

He gave you an appreciative smile. “She’ll miss you too.”

Serious Seokjin always threw you. Maybe it was because you had to accept that you’d misjudged him completely. He wasn’t the rich pompous jerk you’d first thought the morning he’d hit your car. You had to admit that like this he impressed and intrigued you. It was why you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him these past two weeks. Which was stupid because you doubted he was doing the same.

“Thanks for choosing her to win that writing competition, by the way.” His voice brought you back to Earth, concentrating on him again to find that mischievous grin all over his face. “Even if you didn’t like the way it ended.”

You scoffed. Was he ever going to drop that? He knew that wasn’t the case. He’d asked for the damn pointer himself. “Well, if Lewis Carroll did it.”

“Kim Arin can too?” He finished, both of you instantly laughing. Once it petered off, he tilted his head to the side, gazing at you almost. It made you fidget a little, getting flustered. “She’s really fond of you. I meant what I said at the parent-teacher meeting.”

God, you really were horrendous at taking compliments. Especially from a man that already made you feel funny.

“She’s always speaking about how kind and lovely you are.” A pause. "...How pretty you are.” You froze. He hesitated, contemplating something in his head it seemed. He looked you straight in the eyes and said casually, “I have to admit, I agree."

Oh. What?! You felt heat begin to travel up your face, your cheeks burning and you prayed it wasn't visible. You didn't know what to reply, but thankfully (perhaps) Seokjin simply carried on, hopefully oblivious to your awkward reaction. You should bypass it too. It probably didn't mean anything. He was just being polite, right?

“Realising it was your car I hit made me feel even guiltier." He shook his head regretfully. "I really am sorry for all that. The damage, stealing your car."

"It's fine, Seokjin." He hadn’t really stolen your car, you’d been extremely overdramatic there. He'd apologised enough already. You were over it. You had two days left of school, the summer all yours, your mood was much better. Let bygones be bygones.

“Yeah but, I should’ve never gotten your car towed. I realise I was out of line. You said you didn’t want my help but I didn’t listen."

You nodded, listening to him, aware he needed to say this. Again, it seemed as if he'd rehearsed it almost, or maybe it was the professional in him. You were too damn stubborn so he wasn't all to blame. You smiled appreciatively, fighting your hand's strange urge to pat his shoulder. It was maybe best that you didn't touch him. Instead you gave a teasing grin. “But you still won’t let me pay you back?”

He whined – or at least that's the only way you could describe it. It tugged at something inside your chest. Maybe it was more like a wail. Less cute. He couldn't believe you were back on that.

"I'm just messing around," you laughed, trying to compose yourself to let him know something too. “While we're on apologies... I'm sorry for being so short with you annnd for calling you a car thief."

He chuckled, brushing a hand through his hair. Oh, it was pushed back above his forehead again today. You hadn't noticed, too distracted by what? His sneakers? The outfit as a whole? His face? “I deserved it, let’s be honest."

"Maybe in the beginning," you admitted carefully, causing him to laugh harder.

“I was way too preoccupied when I hit you. With work and promising Arin I’d drop her off at school – because shamefully I’d never done it before." He turned a little pensive at that, lost in his own thoughts.

“You must be really busy," you said, voice soft. There was no way he could do it all. Work seemingly six days a week and still try to be there for Arin 24/7.

He looked across at you, an eyebrow quirking slightly. What was he surprised by? That you were sympathising with him? He nodded slowly. “It’s just hard learning to juggle everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love having her with me every day, but...”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon.” You wanted to say it would be summer break soon enough, but then on second thoughts, maybe that would make things even harder.

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugged, changing the subject back to you. “Besides, me being busy doesn’t really excuse the fact I hit you. I mean, what if god forbid you’d been walking past my car instead, it doesn’t bear thinking about.” He looked beside himself at just the idea.

“But I wasn’t,” you reminded him, “so it’s perfectly okay.”

“You’re right,” he murmured, giving you a small smile that rounded his cheeks.

There was silence then, where you waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Was that all he’d wanted to talk about? To thank you for being a kind teacher to Arin and to say sorry once again for the car debacle? For some reason you felt eager to keep the conversation going. It was an urge deep inside you that acted on its own accord.

“So, what do you do?” You asked, trying your best to sound casual. Not that you weren’t casual. You just didn’t want to make it seem like you were desperate for small talk. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Again, he looked vaguely surprised. What, that you were interested in him? No, that was phrased wrong. That you were interested. He didn’t meet your eyes as he replied. “I, uh, I’m the CEO of LG. I took over from my father about three years ago.”

You swore your eyes bugged out of their sockets you were so overcome with shock. You were glad he wasn’t looking at you as you tried to pull it together. “The LG?”

Like one of the biggest companies in the country LG? He was way too young surely? Weren’t those type of CEOs old and round looking?

Seokjin chuckled, finally looking you in the eyes. “Unless you know another one.”

You were speechless, well aware you needed to actually say something in reply instead of gawping but what? What could you say to that? “I guess that explains why you’re always so busy then.”

God, why? Of all the things, why that? Well done for stating the obvious, Y/N.

Seokjin gave you a modest smile. “It’s difficult, yes. Trying to manage work and being effectively a single dad, but I really am trying.” He shook his head slightly, as if he was telling himself off. “I missed her so much these past couple of years, so to finally have her living with me is a dream come true. I’m trying to be the best father I can but I guess it’s a work in progress.”

You weren’t expecting him to be this open with you at all. But maybe Soojung wouldn’t be so surprised. She and a bunch of your other friends, even acquittances said that you were easy to confide in. That you listened well and didn’t try to solve everything. You didn’t know how true that was but you didn’t mind listening to him right now. Sometimes confiding in a stranger just worked.

“Arin obviously adores you.” You smiled. “I could see that the day I dropped your car back.”

He gave you a tiny smile of thanks but sighed softly. “I just want her to always be happy. I know coming from a broken home may make that statement hypocritical but…”

“Not at all,” you insisted. “If a relationship isn’t working out then you need to do what’s best for your child, and you.” That was important too. “I mean, my parents divorced when I was quite young and I have a million and one happy memories growing up.”

You grew a little self-conscious, thinking that you were oversharing, but he seemed happy to hear it, perking up a little. “Really?”

“Yep. They beat the ones I have of them yelling at one another.”

He gave a bitter chuckle then, nodding in agreement. “That’s right. It’s just…” He paused and you wondered if he was going to carry on. Was it bad that you felt curious? You liked seeing this side of Seokjin, it wasn’t how your fantasies had gone at all, it was better. Things had taken an unexpected turn but it just seemed to fit. It seemed natural. It felt nice to talk to him like this. Suddenly you didn’t seem so different. Despite the contrasts in your job and lifestyle, they weren’t very apparent here on this bench…

“My ex-wife is… she lives a busy life – even busier than mine. But she loves it. She goes looking for it.” Seokjin explained. You listened politely. “That’s why Arin had to start living with me, and even though I’m pulled thin, I still try to make enough time for my daughter, no matter the day, no matter the time, no matter anything. Nana doesn’t…”

Nana? That was her name. You imagined someone slim and beautiful, it was only fitting seeing as Seokjin was the man she was married to once upon a time. Beauty attracted beauty.

“Is that why you divorced?” Okay, maybe you were prying now. You hoped he didn’t find it rude.

He didn’t. “There were a lot of reasons,” he answered honestly. “It was as much my fault as it was hers. We were going in different directions and had fallen out of love. It’s been a while now, nearly two years, I’m fine.” He met your eyes at the last part, as if he wanted you to understand that. Or maybe you were reading it wrong. Why would he want you to know that?

“Does she live far?” You remembered Arin’s disappointment that weekend when her mom had cancelled their plans. Maybe she lived a while away and it was hard to commute with Arin back and forth.

“No, just in the next city. It’s not far at all. She’s really high up in an accounting firm there. That’s why when we divorced I moved closer to my building here. See, that’s what annoys me the most,” Seokjin scoffed, an edge to his voice now. Oh shoot, you’d made a mistake with that question. “It’s really no distance at all, so why can’t she spare one single day for Arin?”

You made a sympathetic face, unsure what to say. You decided on honesty. “I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how all that feels.”

Break-ups and divorces were hard yes, but when a child was stuck in the middle a tonne of other complications arose. As a teacher you understood that very well, but as a long-time single woman, maybe not. It had been a while since you’d opened your heart to someone, your life taking a very different turn to what you’d expected three years ago. Not that you minded, you liked where you were heading right now, comfortable and at ease. There was nothing missing. You had your friends and family and that was enough. You hoped Seokjin had people around him too.

“No, I’m the one that should apologise,” he said suddenly, face tinged with colour, as if he was embarrassed. “I’m offloading onto you, that isn’t fair.”

“I don’t mind.” Honestly, you didn’t at all. It wasn’t even offloading, more so a conversation. You were getting to know him.

“You’re just so easy to talk to and I got a bit caught off guard when you started asking about me.” He admitted, his warm eyes finding yours.

Oh. So now you knew for definite he was indeed surprised by all your questions. When was the last time he’d spoken about all that stuff relating his ex-wife? Had he ever spoken about it at all?

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you today.”

His words caught your attention, interrupting your thoughts and in the process confusing you greatly. You raised a questioning eyebrow. What did he mean?

“When I asked you to take a walk I did want to thank you for being so kind to Arin and to apologise for the car trouble, but there was also something else…” You waited patiently, heart thudding quite roughly against your chest for some reason. He looked nervous again. Nervous and awkward just like earlier, before you’d distracted him.

He chose a new direction. One that left you a little dazed. “Y/N, would I be crossing the line if I said I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately?” His dark brown eyes searched for any reaction across your face.

“Me?” You asked quietly.

He chuckled bashfully. “Yeah.”

Somehow you found your voice. Well, some of it anyway. “No, it’s not crossing the line.” You wanted to tell him just the same. How he’d slipped into your mind at random times of the day and how you’d secretly been holding out on another meeting. How you’d been anticipating today. But none of that came in your stunned state. Seokjin had been thinking about you? The annoying, exasperating so-and-so hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you?

He instantly looked relieved – and pleased – at your answer. “I’m glad.” A pause as he hesitated. “Do you maybe want to… go out for dinner this Saturday?” He sounded hopeful, adding quickly, “with me, obviously.”

You would’ve giggled at that but nothing was working. You needed to process his question. He was asking you for dinner?

“My way of apologising for everything, my treat…” You guessed he felt the need to explain now, a little panicked by your reaction (or no reaction.) “For hitting your car and towing it away without your permission.”

You laughed then. Just like that your shock dispersing. He was so oblivious it hurt, and now you knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He really was that unaware. “So you want to spend more of your money on me?”

You weren’t mad, of course. He knew that, laughing too as he weighed up your reply. “I see the problem.” You snickered, your gaze intimately locking with his in the process. “So, what do you say?” He murmured. “I mean, it’s for a plethora of things really. The car business, all you’ve done for Arin. One massive thank you.”

Oh. You were getting mixed messages here. Was this an apology dinner, a thank you dinner? Or something more? Maybe he read the questioning in your eyes because he was rushing to say more. “As well as just wanting to enjoy your company. I feel like I talked too much about myself today, I’d like to get to know you too…”

Okay, now this sounded awfully like a date… And that word freaked you out. Had you not just been thinking about how happily single you’d been for three years and how all you needed were your friends and family? But honestly, you were getting ahead of yourself. It was one dinner. There was no way to predict the outcome and you shouldn’t even be thinking that far ahead. Sometimes you didn’t need to think. You needed to remember that. Sometimes it was just good to act in the moment. Take cautious to the wind and accept this incredibly handsome man’s dinner invitation, whatever his intention was.

You smiled. “Dinner sounds lovely.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened a tad, surprise visible and he didn’t try to hide it. “Really?” You laughed and nodded. Really you should be the one still shocked, because despite everything – the misjudgements, the attitude, the way you’d been itching for numerous fights with him, it was a wonder why he still wanted to be anywhere near you. …Maybe he liked that… Maybe he liked you? Or were you absolutely barking mad?

“Can I have your number to arrange everything?”

You went to relay it to him, watching him pull his phone from out his front jean pocket but then remembered something. “Oh, I already have yours, should I just text you?”

“That’s my work phone. Maybe we should swap personal phone numbers?”

You mean, you only had one phone, but it made sense why he had two. You were still stuck on the personal part though. A little dazed (and excited) as he saved your number into his phonebook. Your phone was locked up in your classroom, so you couldn’t take his but no matter, you’d just save it once he messaged you.

Seokjin glanced at his watch – an expensive looking thing, but that was really no surprise now – and hummed. “We should head back, the fate will be finishing soon.”

You made more small talk as you walked back, Seokjin wondering if you had any allergies or a special diet so he could bear it in mind when he chose a restaurant. Luckily for you no, but you found out that he was allergic to garlic and potatoes, which seemed ridiculous and highly unfair. But he did admit that he ignored it sometimes, which resulted in disaster often because garlic made him itch like crazy. You had a good laugh over that.

“So, what are you going to name him?” Seokjin asked, stroking the top of your alpaca’s head who was hooked against your hip as you walked.

“Hm. I don’t know.” You shrugged, turning to him. “You decide? You did win him after all.”

“Hmmm,” he thought aloud. A few seconds later he came up with something. “How about RJ?”

“RJ?”

Seokjin chuckled. “Yeah, it’s cute.”

Smiling, you had to agree. “Yeah, it is.” You held the stuffed animal up in front of you, tilting your head to the side. “RJ the alpaca. Perfect.”

Still walking as you spoke, you felt Seokjin move in, hovering his hand behind the small of your back in case you stumbled, your attention elsewhere. You felt the same warmth you had the day he’d called you by your name for the first time…

Of course you had to tell Soojung about the events of the day. It wasn't as if you could keep it a secret – and it wasn't as if you wanted to, you just knew what would happen... She was like a dog with a bone, unable to give it up, making you recall every minute detail down to the socks he was wearing (black, by the way, to match his jeans. You had indeed noticed).

“He’s so smart. He waits until you’re not this kid’s teacher anymore and then BAM, do you want to go on a date?”

“Soojung, it’s not a date," you sighed. “He’s just…being nice."

You were still reluctant to call it a date, because well, he hadn't used the word himself. You didn't want to get your hopes up. Although you would never admit that to her, you knew she understood, in her own roundabout way.

“Being nice?!” She exclaimed, scoffing absurdly loud.

You shrugged. “Yeah, thanking me."

She spluttered, as if she found you terribly naive. “What, thanks for being kind to my daughter? SHUT UP, it’s your job! No, he wants to give you that Dilf dick!"

“Oh, my god. Soojung!” You hushed, immediately feeling your face burn. The thought hadn't even crossed your mind because it was so unbelievable.

Saturday was not that long away, the last two days of school flew by, and whilst you were emotional, your mind was also a little too preoccupied with the weekend and what it all meant. Gradually, you’d finally had to admit to yourself that this was probably, most definitely a date. The word sent a fear through your body like no other. Despite being single for three years, you had been on a few first dates in that time, and obviously they had never led to anything. In fact, it had been over a year since your last and that's when you had sworn off dating altogether.

Min Yoongi. That was the last guy you'd said yes too. A fifth grade teacher at Primrose Hill up until last September. (That had nothing to do with you, by the way, he'd just moved cities last summer to pursue a different career. The date hadn't been that bad...) He was easy on the eye and funny, although maybe a little too sarcastic at times, so much so, you hadn't been able to pick up on the signals until he was cornering you in the staff room and asking you to watch a movie with him that coming weekend. Being both teachers, you'd assumed you'd hit it off straight away, but that wasn't the case. It turned out that Yoongi pretty much hated his job, only there for the extended vacations. That was perfectly fine, you guessed, but you realised that a man like that wasn't for you. How could you both love and hate the same job? It just wasn't feasible.

You didn't miss dating, mostly because you hadn't been that into the idea anyway. But now? Now that the idea had presented itself again? After the most peculiar string of events, you had suddenly found yourself being asked out for dinner by the man who had hit your car, and you were… excited. For the first time in forever, you were excited for a date.

You hadn’t felt like this since –

Since Donghae.

Even thinking his name turned your heart heavy. Not as bad as the original heartbreak three years ago, but the memory was still enough to dampen your mood, if even for a moment. You'd met one another during your last year of college and had stayed together for the next five years. He'd been your forever man, the one you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with – he had proposed to you on your 26th birthday after all... Only, being his fiancé hadn't lasted. Since months later he confessed to cheating on you – repeatedly with a girl that worked in the Starbucks near his work building. It had been the pressure of settling down, that's what he'd told you. He was still young, had been very young when you'd gotten together in college and he wanted to experience life properly. His friends were out clubbing every weekend while he stayed inside playing boardgames with you and your friends. Your friends, as if they weren't his too, as if you all hadn't been joined at the hip in college...

Your life had pretty much crumbled after that. Everything you'd known had been ripped from under your feet and you had no idea what to do or where to go. One day you had been someone's wife-to-be and the next you were a lonely, broken human. You moved in with Soojung, had to take a month off work because you couldn't function properly, and slowly had to learn how to live your life without the love of your life.

It took a while, but gradually you got there. You and Soojung found a new, bigger place to live – where you still lived now – and you found ways to stop thinking about him, went on weekend vacations and started new hobbies. It took just over a year to feel yourself again but dating never seemed right.

Soojung slowly encouraged you to try it out, but the handful that happened in that twelve month period just felt forced – even the one with Yoongi, which had pretty much happened organically (as in, Soojung hadn't set it up…), felt like it was missing something. In a way you knew you were comparing everyone to Donghae, you couldn't help it. You couldn't imagine potentially falling in love with someone else again. He was all you'd known for so long, and once upon a time your relationship had been amazing. He'd been amazing. Getting out of that mindset had been difficult, but there had been an even more difficult one... One you were still struggling with now. The issue of opening up your heart again.

Truthfully, that's why you’d stayed single for so long. Why you'd given up on dating and didn't want to know. The thought of you meeting and falling for someone only to inevitably get hurt again terrified you. You wouldn't say you had trust issues, you knew not every man was like Donghae, but just imagining your world crumbling like it had three years ago was enough to just give up.

It wasn't like you were unhappy though. You’d meant all that stuff about liking where your life was heading. You had your friends and family and a job you loved. Your life was fulfilling, there was nothing missing. But maybe that’s what you’d needed to realise… Life worked in mysterious ways. Once you were happy and content maybe it was finally time to open up your heart again.

The truth was, you were very, very attracted to Seokjin. You felt something, even when you wanted to poke his eyeballs out for being so annoying. Actually, thinking about it, maybe that’s why you’d been so scrappy, your mind was fighting with your heart… Despite the obvious differences between you both, you oddly weren’t fazed by that right now. Seokjin didn’t seem unrelatable in that sense. Yes, your lives were crazy different, but there was something between you. You were sure of it. The way he’d opened up to you on that bench, the way he’d smiled at you, and even the way he’d teased you. It had to mean something.

Sometimes it was okay to trust your heart. That warm feeling weaving its way through your chest… Sometimes it was okay to be a little exposed. Not everyone was out to get you.

What was the worst that could happen? The dinner never led to anything else? That would be okay, you’d get over it. But what if it did lead to something more…?

You deserved to find out, right?

Saturday morning you received a text from Seokjin. You were eating breakfast at the small table you had set up in the kitchen alongside Soojung. She had only just woken up and was still a little bleary eyed but still managed to instantly perk up at the mention of Seokjin. She demanded to see his message straight away.

Unknown (9:32am) Hi Y/N, It’s Kim Seokjin, Arin’s father. Just wondering if you still want to have dinner tonight? If so, please let me know and I will send through the restaurant details. We can decide on a time for me to pick you up. Regards, Seokjin

She squealed. “This guy writes his texts like they’re emails. You just know he’s going to be a good lay.”

“Soojung,” you groaned. She would not shut up about Dilf dick this and Dilf dick that. “What does that even mean?”

“He’s a CEO,” she said simply, eyes wide as if that explained everything. “Of one of this country’s biggest companies. That’s like some type of erotic novel shit.”

You groaned loudly, dropping your head into your hands, but she still continued – sadly.

“But none of that creepy Fifty Shades of Grey stuff. This guy is a real gentleman. Like he puts your pleasure above all else. I think he’d be really good at going down on a woman.”

By this point, you’d stopped feeling flustered by her insane claims. They were just normal now. She was unbelievable. Why was she even thinking of these things and where did she come up with them? You didn’t want to think of Seokjin like that because you really wanted to keep your sanity for tonight. Plus, no way were you ready for something like that yet. You hoped Seokjin wasn’t anticipating something more. You were sure he wasn’t, you hadn’t gotten those vibes. Soojung was just being dumb.

You rolled your eyes. “You don’t half talk some shit.”

You wanted her to point out how cute his text was instead. Like how he’d said he was Arin’s father, you know, just in case you’d forgotten who he was in two days, but no, she was too caught up on potential erotic novel titles.

You slipped to the side with a start when Soojung nudged your shoulder, getting all up into your personal space as she teased you. “I’m right though, huh?”

You pushed her back. “This is just a dinner. Not the start of an erotic novel.”

She shrugged. “I’d read it.”

“What would you read?”

Taehyung’s voice appeared from the doorway and you both looked up to see him leaning against it, eyes still pretty much glued shut, his thick hair pulled all ways.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Soojung greeted, standing up to make her way towards him. You watched her wrap her arms around his middle, nuzzling into him. She’d only left him in bed not half an hour ago. Seeing your best friend in love was odd but nice. You weren’t used to sappy Soojung, but you had to admit it suited her well. They were cute together.

Taehyung wrapped one arm around his girlfriend and lifted the other to his face, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “What are you guys yelling about down here? You woke me up.”

“Y/N’s date tonight,”

“Oh, Mr. Dilf?” He sniggered, perking up.

Soojung screeched and joined in. “CEO Dilf dick.”

“You told him?!” You whined, standing to dump your bowl in the sink.

“Of course.” Taehyung smiled smugly. “She tells me everything. Don’t you, babe?”

“Yep.” She grinned. You watched in minor amusement as Taehyung leant down to peck her mouth, Soojung gagging loudly. “Your breath stinks.”

You replied to Seokjin promptly – well as soon as Soojung and Taehyung had vacated the kitchen – and not long after that he messaged back with the restaurant details, asking if it was okay to pick you up at 7pm. You sent him your address, almost immediately freaking out. You knew his wealth hadn't fazed you that bad, seeing as he was so easy to talk to, but your place and his place were on different planes of existence. You knew it wouldn't bother him, he wasn't like that, you knew that now, but you were still a little self-conscious. It was probably the nerves regarding today. The reality was setting it. The slight doubt…

Soojung wasn't helping.

“There’s steaks on the menu that are more than our rent a week," she awed, looking down at her phone.

Why had you given her the name of the restaurant again? You would never learn your lesson. She had already googled his name when you’d told her he was the CEO of LG and she had been this close to searching his net worth before you’d stopped her. You didn’t want to know, not only was it incredibly invasive, it made you feel slightly faint. Seeing his image pop up online was enough for you . A professional headshot, he smiled kindly into the camera lens. It was crazy to think that it was the man you’d be going to dinner with.

Soojung would be good for one thing though – helping you decide on an outfit for tonight. Taehyung had gone home a couple of hours ago, needed at the bar he owned so she had nothing else better to do. Not that she was listening to you though…

She shrugged. “What did I expect? This dude is a billionaire."

“He’s not."

Billionaire seemed a lot more intimidating than a millionaire, but in reality what was the difference? He was unbelievably rich and you were just... you. You shook your head, attempting to claw yourself out of the anxiety hole you'd found yourself in. His job didn't matter. The restaurant he'd chosen didn't matter. You were going for dinner with him to enjoy his company and get to know him better. The finer details were irrelevant.

“Come on! If not he must be a multi-multimillionaire." She rationalised. "His dad is the billionaire."

You groaned. "Will you stop making me nervous and help me pick something to wear?"

You decided on the midi dress you'd actually worn to Eunbi's wedding last summer. It was the only fancy thing you had – or at least fancy enough to dine at a restaurant that sold insane dollar steaks. But wait, the restaurant wasn't supposed to matter, remember?

You still wanted to look nice though. The dress was modest in itself but maybe the colour was a bit eye-catching – a deep red. Soojung said it was perfect and you'd knock his Dilf socks off. By now you were getting sick of the word. You told her as much.

"What if I don't want to sleep with him?"

"As if." She scoffed. "Your dry spell has gone on far too long. You deserve this." She caught the look of apprehension on your face. "When you're ready of course."

"Don't make me –”

"Nervous, I know" she finished for you, sighing loudly. "There's no need to be. Mr. Dilf is whipped for you, I just know it."

How did she know? She hadn't even met him, but you appreciated the sentiment. You did not appreciate it when she was being a clever bitch though.

"I'm just trying to work this out." She said, watching you apply your mascara in the bathroom mirror. It was much later in the day now, about forty minutes before Seokjin was due to pick you up. You were dressed, hair up, makeup nearly done, and sick to your stomach with anticipation. You hummed, letting her know you'd heard her and to continue.

"You were mad when Dilf spent money on your car but you're okay with him spending mad money on you at this restaurant?"

"Soojung," you warned, staring at her reflection in the glass.

She held her hands up in apology. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just curious. Is it okay when it's food?"

You sighed. You knew it didn't really make sense, you guessed, but well, you'd said yes to the dinner. You hadn't said yes to the car being repaired. That was the difference.

"I'm not going to order the most expensive thing on the menu."

"Well, don't just order a side salad, he'll think you're weird..."

You simply stared at her. Her input was so appreciated.

“He’s here, oh my god, he’s here!” Soojung screamed, spying through the voile curtains in the living room. "Ten minutes early. I love that."

“Soojung, move away, now." You told her sternly.

“The fucking car–” She cut herself with a muffled sound. As if she was trying to stifle her own screams. You guessed he'd gotten out of said car. “What the fuck, what the fuck, he’s SO hot. I’m going to pass out."

“Soojung!" Dropping your phone into your purse you slipped on your heels, nearly tripping over in the process. You gripped onto the back of the couch just in time. "I swear to god if he sees you."

She spun around, pointing an accusing finger at you. “You never said he was that hot."

You shrugged. "You never asked."

"I asked every goddamn second of the day. You lucky bitch." She walked towards you, fixing a piece of your hair that had fallen into your eyes. “How come you get hot billionaire Dilf and I get the man-child whose special talent is making cocktails."

"Shut up," you scoffed. She loved Taehyung and his cocktail making skills. That's how they'd met after all. She drunk at the bar three days a week for a month straight until he asked her out.

The doorbell rung and you froze, remembering how nervous you were. Soojung's antics had distracted you for a while but now reality was setting in. As you turned to leave she tapped your ass. “Get that Dilf dick, girl!”

"Soojung, I swear to god –”

"I won't wait up."

Ha. As if. She'd be glued to that window until Seokjin dropped you off back home. You knew her all too well, you'd been best friends for over ten years.

In the entryway now, you didn't have time for breathing exercises. Although, you wished you'd had once you opened the door to see Seokjin stood there looking devastating handsome.

“Hi," he smiled, eyes lighting up when he saw you.

“Hey," you managed to squeeze out, cemented to the ground.

He was dressed in a double breasted navy two piece that must have been tailored to fit his body down to the millimetre, a crisp white dress shirt on underneath. His hair looked shorter, falling just above is eyebrows and parted slightly in the middle. He looked good enough to eat. Or good enough to make you pass out. Either one.

“You look beautiful," he awed, rendering you pretty speechless.

This was a date. It really was a date.

"Thank you," you managed to reply, needing to return the compliment. But what could you possibly say?! “You look…really good."

Oh god. How embarrassing.

Especially when Seokjin burst out laughing, that familiar squeak to it that you'd heard at the parent-teacher meeting. "I'll take it. Thanks." He tilted his head. "Are you ready to go? I'm a bit early, I know. Sorry about that."

You nodded, clutching your purse tight to your side. "I, uh... I would invite you in to kill time but my best friend’s embarrassing." You raised your voice a little so she'd hear you, but on her best behaviour she stayed deathly silent. Well done, Soojung.

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, a little confused, but you figured you'd fill him in inside the car. "It's fine," he shook his head.

Seeing you stepping forward he moved to the side, outstretching his arm to invite you to lead the way. You did, making sure not to look back towards the living room window, because you knew for a fact you'd see Soojung pressed up against it.

“This is all new for me.” Seokjin admitted, sat opposite you as you waited for your dessert. “I haven’t been on a date for years.”

To say the night had gone well would be an understatement. At first you’d been too nervous to even breathe, especially with Seokjin looking like that just a few centimetres away from you as he drove. It didn’t help that he seemed to be some type of regular at the restaurant, getting greeted as if he was an old friend of the manager and led to his ‘usual’ table; a quiet spot away from the hustle and bustle. It turned out he co-owned the place with his brother, looking mildly embarrassed as he told you. It was cute, but he had nothing to be self-conscious over, this was his life, normal to him. I hope you don’t see it as a cop-out, he confessed, causing some confusion your end. Why would you see it that way? This restaurant was beautiful, certainly popular, and you couldn’t wait to try the food. You told him as much and he laughed about feeling nervous now.

You tried lobster for the first time ever – his recommendation. It was kind of messy, but he ordered the same so you were both in it together. You laughed, you joked, you got to know one another more. Conversation came easy, both relaxed in one another’s company, and after the main you both decided to share a dessert, too stuffed for anything more.

“Snap,” you grinned, silently happy that was the case, although rather amazed. Seokjin was, well… him, who wouldn’t want to snap him up? However then again, he was a busy, divorced father. Dating probably wasn’t high up on his list. You were so distracted by his confession, you didn’t even comprehend he’d used the word ‘date.’

“Really?” Seokjin’s eyes bulged slightly. Why was he so surprised?

You shrugged casually. “It’s been well over a year since my last date.”

Seokjin’s mouth curved, amused. “Try over ten.”

“I wasn’t aware this was a competition,” you laughed, but yes, he indeed had you beat.

He laughed along, the arrival of your lemon cheesecake interrupting you both for a moment. It was a few bites later when the conversation got back on track again, Seokjin’s tone careful as he looked across at you, both of you reaching for another bit of the cheesecake with your dessert forks. “You don’t mind me calling this a date, do you? This isn’t the part where you tell me you’ve been in a relationship for five years and you just thought this was an innocent thank you dinner?”

You giggled softy, shaking your head. “No. I don’t mind you calling it a date.” You brought the fork up to your mouth, taking your time to chew before you continued. “Soojung was adamant it was but I… didn’t want get my hopes up?” You wanted to be honest. This night was about opening yourself up to the uncertain.

“Soojung, your best friend? The one you live with?” He asked.

You nodded. You’d already told him all about your best friend, about how you lived with each other. Seokjin hadn’t bat an eyelid, which was nice. You weren’t embarrassed or anything, but the differences in your living arrangements were stark. He thought it sounded fun. He still remembered living with his best friend Namjoon back in college and how entertaining that had been. He’d definitely be up for it again if they weren’t both dads now – divorced at that, but hey ho, that was life.

“Well, she was correct.” Seokjin continued. “I thought I made it clear but I guess I was too cryptic.”

“So, which one is it?” You asked, lifting an eyebrow in interest. “Not an innocent thank you dinner or not an innocent dinner?”

You were feeling brave, however your heart still thudded inside your chest, adrenaline whooshing through your veins. There was something about Seokjin that made you act so out of character…

Seokjin failed to conceal the visible surprise across his features and you watched him swallow before he composed himself, a smirk appearing on his lips immediately. “If I didn’t know any better I would say you were flirting with me right now.”

You shrugged. “I’m just checking if your intentions are innocent or not?” You took another bite of the cheesecake.

His smirk grew, and you watched him drop his fork onto the plate to lean back in his chair. “I would say they are, however, I did have plans to kiss you on the cheek tonight, so maybe, busted?” He chuckled then, at himself – he liked doing that you’d noticed. It was kind of cute.

The butterflies were back. Now there was no need to ignore or try to explain them. You took them as what they were – a good sign. Humming aloud, you tilted your head to the side and pretended to contemplate. “I think I can let you do that.”

Seokjin laughed. “You can? Okay, that sounds good.”

You reached for your glass of wine, needing a sip just to calm the flurry inside of you. Seokjin tucked his chair closer, still laughing but quietly now, more like a chuckle. “Honestly, I was pretty much shitting my pants today.”

You snorted into your glass, taken by surprise at his choice of words. “Sorry,” you apologised, feeling a little bit embarrassed by the sound that had just left your nose. He didn’t same fazed. “I was nervous too.”

That seemed to settle him. He smiled fondly, fingers tracing the brim of his glass. “I guess we were being silly.” His lips parted to say something else but he hesitated. You watched him take a quiet exhale, then he continued. “My therapist has been begging me to try dating again for months but the thought has always been pretty terrifying.” He gave a small shrug, his warm eyes locking with yours. “Until I met you.”

You could feel your heart rate speeding up, unable to stop the smile that spread across your face. He was pleased, grinning back, posture visibly relaxing. “She said I should face up to my fears and just ask you out.”

There were a lot of thoughts whirring through your mind right now. The fact he felt comfortable enough to disclose with you that he had a therapist, and the fact that he’d even mentioned you to her, that she had encouraged him to ask you out. The fact he’d liked you enough to want to take the plunge at all. After two years of being alone, you were the woman who had made him want to try again… It felt comparable to your own thoughts, to your feelings… and that’s why you felt so relaxed tonight. It just felt right.

“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed. “I know we don’t know one another very well, but I hope that this is just the beginning.”

Despite his words sending your butterflies crazy, you kept your cool, trying to stunt your smile. “You’re not so bad yourself, I guess.”

He chuckled. You let yourself smile at the sound. “Not so bad. I’ll take it.” He picked up his fork again, taking a bite of the cheesecake you’d both forgotten about. His voice was careful, genuine to match his expression, when he carried on. “Despite the circumstances of how we met and what followed, I don’t know, I haven’t felt a spark like that in forever.” He reached for a sip of his wine, laughing. “What do you think? You can call me crazy if you want.”

“I think you’re right.” There was no doubt about it now. You’d been adamant in the beginning that was nothing there – no spark, no flirting, insisting Soojung was wrong, but now you couldn’t deny the obvious attraction. You’d immediately bounced off one another that evening during the parent-teacher meeting, despite your annoyance the day before.

You grinned. “You frustrated me to no end but I felt something too.”

He tilted his head to the left, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Frustrated you? How so?”

“You know how,” you laughed. “I may or may not have called you an exasperating bastard in my head.”

He couldn’t contain himself then, taken back and genuinely amused. “Oh god,” he practically wheezed. “I like that one.”

You laughed along, unable not to when the sound he made brought you such joy. You reached for another forkful of cheesecake, the dessert nearly coming to an end. Just like the date, you thought. You didn’t want it to end, you were enjoying yourself too much.

“What about now?”

You looked up at Seokjin, eyes widening in question. What did he mean? He was staggeringly composed now, although his eyes shone with mischief as he grinned and explained. “Do I frustrate you now?”

You tried to stunt your own smile, shrugging your shoulders. “Not tonight.”

“At the fate?”

“Nope.”

He nodded his head, seemingly happy with your answers. “I guess things are looking up then.” He picked up his glass again, about to take a sip before he paused and added, “Although, I must admit, I liked frustrating you. You look so cute when your mad.”

You felt heat immediately burn its way to your cheeks, hoping the lighting in this restaurant was dim enough not to make it obvious. He took a swig of his wine. “Watch it, Mr. Kim.” As he chuckled it muffled inside the glass.

You went for the last piece of cheesecake, figuring you were owed that now. You looked across at him as you chewed, knowing that if you really wanted this to happen again you needed to let him know. Face up to your fears of opening up, telling people how you really felt. “I’d like to get to know you better, Seokjin.”

“Really?” He sounded hopeful, fingers playing with the rim of his wine glass again.

“Mmhm.” You nodded. “You seem like a lovely man if we ignore the car stealing...”

“Hey,” he whined, “you apologised for that already, you can’t bring it up again.” You held your hands up in silent defence, chuckling silently, watching him lean closer. “But please, go back to what you were saying about me being a lovely man. Stroke my ego, it’s been a long week.”

Had it? You were curious, concerned really. You thought to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but you guessed the last thing he’d like to do was discuss work on a date. Instead, you decided to tell him about what attracted you most to him. The thing that had inevitably made you change your mind and realise that maybe, quite possibly, you’d misjudged him.

“Arin really adores you and I can see how much you dote on her. Any man cherished by his child is a good one in my eyes.”

“Oh.” He simply replied, possibly at a loss of words. He looked touched – happy, but ultimately unsure of what to reply, so he bypassed it in a way, raising an eyebrow. “So is there some kind of checklist?”

“What do you mean?”

He gave a slight shrug. “Like, ‘kids like him – check.’ ‘He knows how to clean dishes – check.’ – I can by the way. I’m really good with a pair of washing up gloves and some dish soap.”

You burst out laughing, not quite believing your ears. “Yeah, okay.” You admitted. “There’s a list.” Didn’t every woman have one?

“Let’s see how I fare then.” Seokjin said, sounding sure of himself as he leant back in his seat, hands behind his head – the image of casual. Maybe you were into this cocky Seokjin… It was sort of hot.

“Okay so…” You began, leaning forward. “Family man – check.” You’d already approved that one. “Loves animals?”

He scoffed. “Easy. Animals are so much better than humans.”

Okay, more points his way… “Uhh.” You thought aloud, racking your brains. “Does he make me laugh?”

Seokjin mulled it over. “That sounds like a decision you have to make, but I think it’s a yes? I mean, you’ve been laughing all night. Unless you were just being nice.”

“No, you are funny,” you confirmed, although you were unable to miss an opportunity to mess around with him. “You have that, what should I call it,” you pretended to think, “that old man type sense of humour.”

“Hey. I’m not that old,” he huffed.

You chuckled quietly. True, he wasn’t old, but you were still surprised when you’d found out he was turning 38 this coming December. Some people were blessed with ageing gracefully. Of course he was one of them. The man looked amazing for someone two years away from forty.

“What about you?” You wondered. “Do you have a checklist?”

He sat upright again, setting his elbow on the table to drop his chin in his palm, giving you his full attention. “Yes, and you check them all.”

“I do?” You laughed in disbelief. Either he was easy to please or he wanted brownie points.

He shrugged, as if to say of course. “You’re funny, caring, can be kind of scary at times – which I’m sort of into, to be honest.”

“I’m not scary,” you protested, pouting slightly. However, what? He was into it? That made you feel funny…

He smirked. “I beg to differ.”

You rolled your eyes. “What else do I check off?”

He didn’t need time to think. “You’re insanely beautiful.” Your dumbfounded expression made him second guess himself. He pulled a face. “Yikes. Too cheesy?”

You grinned, getting a hold of yourself. “Maybe, but then again, maybe I like that.” How could you not like being called beautiful? How could you not like receiving a compliment? Especially from him.

He smiled, gazing into your eyes as he leant forward. You felt immediate warmth when his hand cupped yours across the table. This was the first time he’d touched you, right? Your mind was a blur right now, unable to recall two hours ago, let alone two weeks ago. When he spoke, you only felt warmer, the soft timbre of his voice fluttering through your whole body. “I’m really attracted to you, Y/N.”

And what could you say to that? You swallowed, wetting your throat, realising it had become dry. He was waiting for a reply, amused by something – your blank looking face most probably. He had the ability to render you speechless, and he knew it. He liked it.

Well, no, not on your watch. You’d get the last word. You’d win.

Composing yourself, you slipped your hand from under his, tapping it lightly, as if you were consoling him. “I’ve said it once already, but you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Kim.”

Taken aback, he chuckled quietly in bemusement, shaking his head. “You’re going to give me wrinkles.”

A man of his word, he did kiss you on the cheek after the date was over. He waited until he had driven you home and opened the door for you to step out of the car – ever the gentleman, you’d teased. You stood by the little gate that lead a pathway to your front door, and that’s where he’d leant down to place his lips ever so lightly against the top of your left cheek. You smiled shyly up at him, unable to play it cool this time.

He looked a little rosy in the face too, unsure as he smiled. “I had a lovely time tonight.”

“Me too,” you agreed. “Can I take you out next time?” You surprised yourself by the offer, that kiss must have shot some confidence into you.

He looked surprised too, but into it, tilting his head in curiosity as he looked down at you. “Where do you suggest?”

“My place?” Okay, so it wasn’t ‘taking him out’ but you liked the idea best. Soojung could stay over Tae’s. She owed you one. “I can cook for you,” you offered, a hand unconsciously reaching for the collar of his jacket, straightening it for him. “To you know, return the favour of you paying for dinner to say sorry for paying for my car to get fixed.”

His hand clasped around yours, dropping it between your bodies to hold it as he chuckled.

“This is getting a little confusing now.” He swung your hand gently and you curled your little finger around his loosely. You could get used to this physical contact. It felt ordinary, like you’d been doing it forever. “Can’t we just call it dating and have done?”

You rolled your shoulders with a sigh, sounding casual and unbothered. “I guess, if it’s easier.”

Seokjin’s laugh got lower, his face closer. His eyes kept looking between your eyes and lips, and you realised your heart was beginning to beat slower, or was it faster? You couldn’t tell anymore, but you could hear it pounding lightly inside your ears. You were in the middle of playing the same game – eyes then lips, eyes then lips – the seconds feeling more like minutes as he leant in closer and closer, but then –

You spotted Soojung in the window as you happened to glance behind Seokjin’s shoulder. She had now totally bypassed the voile curtain, thinking she was Miss. Inconspicuous with the lights off. The street lighting was as bright as anything though, and all you could see was her face glowing like a ghost as she ruined the moment entirely. You were not having your first kiss with Seokjin in front of her prying eyes.

Seokjin realised your attention was elsewhere now, awkwardly pulling back to scratch his neck with his free hand. You clutched at the hand that was holding yours, not wanting him to think you’d blown him off. He didn’t say anything though, just continued your conversation with a bemused smile. “Um, so what are you going to cook?”

“What do you like?” You asked, only half your attention on him. Maybe you could silently signal to Soojung, tell her to get the hell out of the window before Seokjin noticed.

“I’m easy,” you heard him reply. “What’s your speciality?”

“Uh…” Think Y/N, think. Distracted you said the first thing that popped into your head, still trying to force Soojung away with just your eyeballs. “Lasagne.”

“Lasagne?” He sounded interested.

You finally met his eyes for more than five seconds, feeling a little panicky. “Yeah, my World Famous Italian lasagne.”

Oh no.

Seokjin laughed, dropping your hand to cup your cheek instead. Earlier, if this had happened you would have spontaneously combusted but now you had a case of the Nosey Friend and you couldn’t concentrate to save your life. “Okay, now you’re just talking big.”

You couldn’t help it, your eyes attempting to dart past his shoulder again. He noticed – he’d probably noticed this entire time, an eyebrow of his raising. “What is going on over my shoulder?”

You tried to stop him, clinging to his elbow, but he turned around anyway, eyes falling on Soojung immediately. You saw her instantly panic and jump back, dropping the curtain in front of the window again. “That’s just Soojung,” you sighed. “Ignore her, she’s an idiot.”

Seokjin was deeply amused, laughing as he turned back to you. “So, is next Saturday okay?” You pressed.

He grinned. “Saturday sounds perfect to me.”

As you said your goodbyes, Seokjin turned to the window and gave a small wave, chortling to himself. You couldn’t see Soojung anymore but you just knew she was still spying. But relieved Seokjin didn’t seem fazed, you made your way inside, giving Seokjin a wave by the door as he pulled off, feeling happy, yet a little sad the night was over already. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d enjoyed yourself like that.

It was only when you were inside did you remember what you’d just done, too preoccupied to think properly beforehand. Oh God, the lasagne. Saturday night was going to be a disaster.

Soojung came running into the entry way, interrupting your freak out. “He saw me! He saw me!” Her voice was shrill, and you couldn’t tell if it was because she was embarrassed or excited.

“That’s what happens when you spy, idiot,” you swiped, kicking off your heels. The instant relief brought you no comfort. “Soo, I’ve done something stupid.” You admitted.

She instantly looked worried. “What? What have you done?”

You sighed, already feeling like a fool. “Okay so, I invited him over next weekend and said I’d cook for him.”

“Girl is horny for that D–”

“Shut up, that’s not the problem,” you stopped her. She looked puzzled. “You were distracting me!” It was all her fault. You weren’t taking the blame. “He asked me what I was gonna cook and I told him I make a World Famous Italian lasagne!”

Your best friend was silent for an extended second, making sense of your words before she burst out laughing. Highly dramatic, practically doubled over, splitting her sides. Even more dramatic than you for freaking out over a damn lasagne.

“You have never made lasagne in your entire life!” She exclaimed. “What were you thinking?”

“It was your fault!” It was also her fault you didn’t get to kiss Seokjin properly too. But you weren’t going to bring that up now, unable to bear the constant teasing that would ensue.

“My fault?!” She laughed. You just rolled your eyes. She did not appreciate that at all. “Whatever. I can’t wait to see your “World Famous Italian lasagne.” Make sure to save me some, won’t you?”

“Right,” you huffed. “For that, I’m not telling you how the date went.”

She soon changed her tune, needing all the details just to be able to sleep tonight…

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#jin fanfic #bts fanfic #seokjin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

1K notes · View notes

kookingtae · 4 years ago

Text

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook scenario #bts x reader #bts scenario #i hope this is good enough for the time being!!! im sorry its taking me so long to get pt 8 posted #u guys are the best i love u <3333

327 notes · View notes

anotherhellchild · 4 years ago

Note

📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life

oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.

also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.

This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk.

ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer.

also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth.

and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.

oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.

But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.

Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?

but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview.

Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.

he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.

generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop.

so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.

It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.

Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it

But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)

#tw: abuse #tw: neglect #this is a very fanon idea btw #pls dont take anything too srsly #bakugu katsuki #ALSO THANK YOU ANON :))#bakugou mitsuki #bakugu masaru #i coulda probably yeeted the 'katsuki gets kidnapped a lot' hc in there #honestly everybody should just check sifs stuff #her brain is too big #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha headcanons #im legitimately not sure if this even makes any sense #im sleepy so

140 notes · View notes

stopbeingcurious · 4 years ago

Text

You make me feel young again*

PART TWO / MASTERLIST

Pairings: Post Azkaban Sirius Black x Reader

no smut, sorry :/

“Y/n he’s my roomate!”

Thoughts cloud your mind, an unreadable face expression shown on your face. You just fucked your Professors roommate, and Sirius said last night, he was coming home today?! The thought made you panicked, a bead of sweat threatening to fall from your forehead if you stress anymore.

“I- Sirius i need to get out of here before he gets gets home!” Sirius nods his head. His face soon changed from concerned to realisation.

“We need to get you gone quick Y/n, i don’t know when he’s going to be home” You grab your dress and wand and check the time, 1:03pm, shit, that’s late! You scurry around trying to remember whether you brought anything else or not, you damned yourself for drinking last night as your memories slurred.

“Do you have a fireplace? I don’t have my apparition licence yet” Sirius nods quickly, wrapping his arm around your back, ushering you down the stairs but you were to late, you heard the faint rumble of the flu network...

“Shit, shit, shit” Sirius face palms. “Y/n, i’m so sorry” He didn’t even try to hide you, he just stood there and waited for Remus to walk round the corner.

Your eyes grew wide as you realised that you had Sirius’ shirt on and a pair of his boxers that you couldn’t even see and a silk dress in my hand, we couldn’t even play it off, we couldn’t make up some silly exuse, then Sirius started to guide me towards the kitchen, but that was the first place Remus went.

The panic rises even more, you bit your lip trying to breath normal and quiet breaths after running around like a mad man.

“Sirius!” Remus shouts from around the corner, he was getting closer. At this point you gave up completely in trying to hide, you might as well surender. “Why’s there two glasses of firewhiskey on the table” He shouts again. Remus turns the corner, of course where you were hiding...

“Y/n? Oh... Y/n?! Sirius?” Remus face went from confused to wide eyes too angry but then back to confused. You bit your lip and stayed silent.

“Sirius, what. the. fuck” Remus couldn’t look you in the eye. Sirius then grabbed you by your shoulders and moved you behind him, obviously reading Remus discomfort.

“Let- Remus, let me see Y/n out, then we can’t talk about this” Remus huffed and turned around, letting you and Sirius do the walk of shame to wherever the fireplace was.

There was an awkward silence as we walked... it were more like a shuffle.

“Sirius, i’m really sorry” Sirius smiled and scoffed, like nothing was wrong. You were in slight disbelief but then you remembered why you were so attacked to him in the first place. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for Pup” He kissed your cheek and backed away from the fireplace.

“Forth Avery Manor”

Third Person POV

Sirius let out a loud huff as Y/n disappeared, he didn’t want to face Remus, Remus could be scary.

Sirius saunters as slowly as possible, stopping to brush the dust off photoframes he didn’t even acknowledge before today. Finally he reached the kitchen, where Remus was sat at the table, head in hands.

“Please tell me it wasn’t you that left them horrible marks on her body” Sirius knew what Remus was referring too, he found them rather pretty, he was proud of them, obviously Remus didn’t think so.

The silence answered Remus question.

“For fuck sake Sirius” Remus banged his fist on the table making Sirius flinch. “That’s my fucking student, ive taught her for years!” Remus voices his anger, tugging at the roots of his hair.

“In all fairness Rem, i didn’t know that she was your student until this morning” Sirius was calm about the situation, this told Remus that he didn’t care much but Sirius did care, he just wasn’t a very empathetic guy.

“Tell me the story then” Remus rests his head on his arm and cocks an eyebrow in question.

Sirius told Remus the story in detail, all in detail but the part where they had sex, he didn’t think Remus wanted to hear about that part. In all honesty, Sirius was excited to tell Remus about this girl, about how amazing he was in bed, about how she rocked his world that night, that excitement went out the window very quickly.

“She said she wouldn’t go to the bar” Remus mutters under his breath, away from Sirius so he didn’t hear.

“Did you have sex?” Remus holds his hand out in question, you could see where he had dug his nails into his palms.

“Erm... ~yeh~”

Remus face palms, many questions and scenarios to do with his work fill his mind, overwhelming him slightly.

“I’m sorry Rem, i truly didn’t know” Remus shakes his head.

“What, and if you did know, would that have stopped you? Would you have been able to control yourself?” Remus asks seriously.

“If i knew she would fuck me like that then no” Sirius joked, immediately regretting it seeing the look on Remus face.

“Sirius! Your disgusting, genuinely disgusting, i have to teach that girl, i have to watch her sit in my class, knowing that- ugh i don’t want to think about it” Sirius laughed at Remus reaction, he thought that Remus would take it harder than this.

“Did you tell her how old you was?” Sirius sucked in a breath, offering Remus a shy smile and sorrowful eyes.

“No, Pads...” Remus realised that Sirius had lied about his age. Remus hands snake into his hair, pulling at the roots in annoyance.

“What’s next, are you going to tell me you got her pregnant” Remus laughs.

“Oh shit...” Sirius fakes concern. Remus eyes shoot open, he looks like he’s ready to throttle Sirius.

“Joking, only joking, please don’t kill me” Remus hits Sirius round the back of the head.

// later that night

Sirius knocks on Remus bedroom door, it hadn’t exactly been awkward since the whole situation, seeing as they were joking about it in the end but it wasn’t the same.

“Yep” Remus answers, eyes shooting up from the book he’s reading.

“I just wanted to apologise, like genuinely apologise, i realised how bad it actually was” Sirius fiddles with his thumbs, standing in the doorframe.

“I thought you said it was good?” Remus asks, jokingly talking about the sex. He knew what Sirius was talking about.

“Oh no the sex was some of the best sex ive had in a while and that’s saying something, i meant how bad it was, what i done Rem, i’m sorry” Remus cringed at the subject of his student but his eyes turned soft when Sirius voiced his apologies.

“Sirius, you said it, you didn’t know that she was my student, there wasn’t much you could do about it, neither of you” Sirius nods. “I’m dreading going back to school now, i cant imagine how embarrassed the poor girl is” Remus eyes lying back on the book.

Sirius sniggers. “There are so many things i could reply to that comment with, but for your sake, ill refrain” Remus made a disgusted face.

“Sirius, your gross”

// back to school

Going back to school wasnt as bad as the pair thought it was going to be. Y/n was incredibly worried, she was worried that Remus would think less of her, that he was disappointed. But when they saw each other, they just nodded and smiled. Until one day.

Remus asked Y/n to stay behind after lesson.

Y/n immediately knew what the subject of their meeting would be about. She was afraid. She was embarrassed.

Y/n knocked on her Professors classroom door.

“Come in” She walked into his class, warily.

“Ah Y/n, come sit” He offered a welcoming smile.

You obliged, you sat and fiddled with the hem of your skirt, staying completely silent.

“Y/n, first of all, i wanted to let you know that you’ve done nothing wrong here, your an adult and you can make decisions for yourself, i’m not angry or annoyed or dissapointed at you, it’s a natural thing, you know that” You nod with a smile, a releif being lifted of your shoulders. “And sorry about my language, i was in such shock,” The Professor scratched the back of his head in awkwardness. This still doesn’t change that your Professor saw you looking like a disheveled mess.

“Also, i wanted to give you this” He hands you a little tub of gel. You look at him confused as to what was in his hand.

“It’s bruise gel, it will help your marks” You thank Remus for the gel, the hickeys had gone down a little bit since he last saw.

“I know a bad bruise when i see one, that was bad Y/n” He chuckles, your glad you can joke about his with him, you feel comfortable.

“You can blame me for that one, that wasn’t my fault” You laugh with him.

“True point, i’ll tell Sirius off”

// grimmuald place

“I gave Y/n some of my bruise gel to get rid of those retched marks you gave her” Sirius feigns offence.

“You got rid of my masterpiece, i was so proud of that Moons!” He laughs. Remus rolls his eyes at Sirius, not being able to tell if he was being serious.

“But how did you make them marks so tenebrous?”

#harry potter #harry potter smut #sirius black smut #sirius x y/n #sirius orion black #sirius black #remus lupin smut #remus john lupin #remus lupin #marauders smut #marauders era #young marauders

211 notes · View notes

castexpectopatronum · 3 years ago

Text

Liquid Amber - Part IV [Remus Lupin x Reader Imagine]

Summary: You had been crushing on Remus Lupin for an eternity when you finally decided to ask him out. However, things do not go as planned and you remain wondering just what exactly is going on with this boy.

notes: reupload because the original got deleated

trigger warnings: none

word count: 1.5k

Masterlist

The silvery light of the full moon was shining into the room and the only sounds to be heard were the soft, steady breaths of your dormmates. Your figure, sitting cross-legged on the bed, was throwing a long shadow onto the floor. An open book was lying in your lap, but you didn’t pay any attention to it. Instead, you were staring absent-mindedly out of the window, your mind surprisingly calm despite the knowledge you had now gained.

The full moon was beautiful but cold in the pitch-black night, a distant viewer of this cruel world. Your heart ached at the thought of what Remus must be going through right now, trapped in an eternal cicle of pain and madness he could never escape.

You turned your head and took a brief look at the open page, the detailed drawing and the title stamped in big letters across the top of the page: LYCANTHROPY.

It had taken weeks of research for you to find out about Remus’ affliction, and now that you finally knew, your mind had gone completely blank. You weren’t sure what you had expected but it was certainly not this.

And there were still so many questions left unanswered. Where did he go during the full moon? Where did his friends go? Did Dumbledore know of this? He had to – did that mean he had arranged all of this?

So many questions... And only one person who could answer them.

He was in the Hospital Wing, as you had expected, whiter than the bedsheets he was lying on, and the shadows under his eyes darker than ever before.

He looked like a ghost.

Quietly, you crossed the room until you had reached his bed in the far corner and sat down next to him. He was fast asleep. The thick blanket rose and fell steadily with each of his breaths.

You watched him for a while. Now that you knew what Remus’ problem was, suddenly all these tiny little details that had been so subtle before and seemingly irrelevant now sprang to your eye with obvious meaning. The wrinkles in his face, despite his young age, the pale shadows of scars on his skin, the bandages around his arms, the wounds peaking out from under his shirt... He did look like he had been battling a wolf.

Only now you knew that wasn’t far from the truth.

A part of you expected to feel disgusted at the sight of him. The part of you that knew werewolves were classified as dangereous creatures of the class XXXXX. The part of you that knew there was a Werewolf Capture Unit for a reason. The part of you that knew of all the cruel things Fenrir Greyback had done and was capable of.

But you didn’t. You felt only pity. Pity for the boy who lost himself every month and who would get shut out by every soul if somebody found out.

It was there, as you looked at Remus’ vulnerable self, that you realised what would perhaps be the most important lesson of your life.

None of this was his fault.

You left the Hospital Wing before Remus woke up. It wasn’t the right place to tell him.

For the next few days you carried on as though nothing had changed, but you kept watching Remus from afar, watched as he regained his strength and spirit. And yet you delayed the inevitable confrontation. Every time you saw him, you made up a new excuse – not now, he’s with his friends, not now, I’m meeting up with Mary a few minutes, not now, he is looking so happy – when in reality, you were simply afraid. Afraid of telling him, afraid of his reaction. Afraid of how things would change.

Until one day.

It was in Defence Against the Dark Arts class; Peter had caught the flu, leaving him sick in the Hospital Wing and Remus without a sitting partner. You saw the opportunity and – to your own surprise – seized it.

Muttering a quick excuse to your friend, you swiftly slid onto the empty seat next to Remus. He lifted his head, startled, and gave you a confused look.

In a split second you realised you must be looking extremely desperate and needy to him, but you quickly put on a bright smile before you could drown in your own embarrassement. After all, the reason you were sitting there was not because you were desperate and needy. This was about Remus.

“You won’t mind if I sit here, right?” you asked him, still smiling.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but you cut him off before he could.

“Great!” You placed your book, ink and parchment on the table before Remus got the chance to protest.

As the professor at the front began his speech about nonverbal spells, he turned away from you, and the class quickly settled down and fell quiet.

All but you.

You saw the professor talking. Saw his mouth moving, his hands gesturing... But you didn’t hear a single word he said. Not with Remus sitting right next to you, not with the tension growing between the two of you. Not with his hand lying only a few inches next to your own.

Far too quickly you had to get up to push the tables aside and as you got to the practical part of today’s lesson, everybody paired up. James and Sirius, Lily and Marlene... Remus and you.

You found a free space in the middle of all the students and turned to face each other, at least a foot between the two of you.

Remus pulled out his wand from under his robes; his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and adjusted his stance. You smiled weakly at him before mirroring his posture, the tip of your wand pointing towards him.

Although the class had been practicing nonverbal spells for a while now, not everybody was yet able to perform them, you among those who couldn’t.

But Remus could. He could do it perfectly.

When your wand flew out of your hand for the third time this day, Remus lowered his own. He looked like he wanted to say something, but several moments passed before he actually did.

“You’re concentrating too hard,” he said quietly.

You furrowed your eyebrows and gave him a confused look. “You’re supposed to concentrate.”

“Yes, but you’re too ... constipated,” Remus said. “Try to relax. Concentrate less on wanting to block me but more on the actual spell.”

Your mouth opened in a voiceless answer, but the words got stuck in your throat. It had been weeks since Remus had talked to you, and you had forgotten how much you adored the sound of his voice.

“Thank you,” you breathed.

He smiled weakly. “Ready?”

You nodded and raised your wand to chest-height. “Ready.”

Remus flicked his wand – and your own flew out of your hand once more. Remus quickly snatched it out the air before it fell to the ground. Your shoulders slumped down.

“It takes a while,” Remus said.

You shrugged and shook your head. “I just can’t concentrate today.”

A line appeared between Remus’ eyebrows. “Are you alright?” he asked quietly as though he was afraid of the answer.

You locked eyes with him, and the words that had been stuck in your throat were now threatening to burst out.

You came to your senses just in time and quickly bit your tongue and nodded. Remus didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t further inquire.

The rest of the lesson was about as successful as the first few minutes and when the bell rang, you were glad to pack your things together.

Remus was throwing his stuff so fast into his bag that he only took a few seconds before he was slinging the strap of his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave the room.

But you were prepared and swiftly slid over to block his way. Remus stopped and pressed his lips together, looking straight at the door behind you. Students were impatiently pushing past you, but you didn’t mind them in the slightest. Your attention was soley focussed on Remus.

“Can we talk?” you asked. “It’s important.”

Remus looked rather constipated; his teeth were clenched and his eyes were fixed at a point directly over your head.

“I... uhm... This isn’t really a good time,” he said hoarsley.

“It’s never a good time, Remus,” you said quietly.

Remus didn’t respond.

You bit your lip and turned your head away from him, smiling sadly to yourself. You hadn’t expected a different reaction, but that hadn’t stopped the hope from bubbling up inside of you.

You let out a quiet sigh and looked back at him. “Meet me here tonight at eight o’clock. I would really appreciate it if you came.”

Finally, Remus looked at you. His brown eyes were darker than usual. Not the shade of liquid amber you loved so dearly, but still so beautiful.

But you didn’t linger around to hear the answer he never gave. Instead, you flashed him one last sad smile and turned around, walking out of the classroom without looking back.

#remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader #marauders era imagine #marauders imagine #liquid amber #part iv

50 notes · View notes

driflew · 2 years ago

Text

its always a bit embarrassing when i dont actually have six sentences for six sentence sunday and i have to add an extra sentence or two. that said... new one shot idea im toying with, Red King as notRen, a creature which took ren's place

If Martyn were to be honest with himself, he’d admit he didn’t actually know how long it took him to realize Ren was gone.

He’d like to say he noticed immediately, that he’d found something off about his King the moment the man hd respawned. He hadn’t, though—had chalked up every strange laugh and crooked smile to be the effect of a red name. He hadn’t noticed, not immediately, just how much Ren had changed.

Besides, if Martyn said he knew from the start, that would mean admitting he’d failed to kill the creature in Ren’s place when he’d had the chance, when it had stood armorless in front of him and smiled, arms wide, waiting for a blow Martyn didn’t deliver. It had tested him, then, and he’d failed, and with that failure had gone any chance at avenging his friend.

im not big on the idea RK is a separate entity to ren, but i DO like "fake loved one" horror, so im poking around with the idea a bit. we'll see where, if anywhere, it goes... im fond of the concepts ive got for it, but i haven't yet hammered out all the exact details

#lew writes #six sentence sunday #traffic smp

6 notes · View notes

whumper-boi · 3 years ago

Text

@whumpmasinjuly, prompt is “Sleep” 👹💅

————————

“Whumpee, Christ, you look like shit.” Caretaker pursed their lips, looking the flushed Whumpee up and down. “Are you feeling okay?”

They nodded, staggering slightly from the motion, something Caretaker didn’t miss. “I just didn’t sleep too well last night, that’s all.”

Whumpee’s voice was mumbled, weak, way too unlike them.

“You should have called in then. The buisness will run even if you’re gone for a day.”

They gave a crack-lipped grin. “Will it though? Gotta keep this place on its toes.” Caretaker didn’t find it too funny, and made that clear. Whumpee sighed. “Caretaker, seriously, I’ll be okay. I just need a cup of coffee and a minute.”

Caretaker wasn’t convinced, but ultimately ended up letting it go. “Fine. But let me go get you that cup.”

“You’re the best.”

They walked in opposite directions, Caretaker making their way to the breakroom to grab two mugs. They tried to tell themself to relax, but couldn’t help but feel like something was worse then it appeared.

They’d noticed in the last couple days the way Whumpee was dragging their feet more, slurring their words, they’d just looked more… exhausted. Caretaker asked once before, but Whumpee had shrugged it off and told them that they hadn’t gotten much sleep.

This was weird.

Before Caretaker could figure out a way to bring up the topic of their sleeping habits, there was a commotion in the other room.

“Holy shit, Whumpee!” They heard one of their coworkers yell. “Someone call an ambulance!”

They all but dropped the mug in their hand, running out to find worried faces crowded around an unconscious Whumpee.

Caretaker shoved their way forward, making their way to Whumpee. “Whumpee, fuck, what happened?” They pulled them into their lap, resting their head on their shoulder.

“I don’t know.” The same coworker who screamed said. “I was just walking their way and they looked awful, so I asked what was wrong and they,” Coworker motioned towards Whumpee.

“You idiot,” Caretaker whispered.

Medical help arrived shortly after, pulling Whumpee into an ambulance. One of the EMT’s asked if someone was riding, and Caretaker had quickly volunteered, though upon arrival they were forced into a waiting room as Whumpee was wheeled into another room.

“Caretaker?” Came a nurses voice almost an hour later. Caretaker jumped up, making their way over.

“Is everything alright? What happened?” They had to resist the urge to barrage the helpful nurse with questions, though was offered a empathetic smile.

The nurse looked at their clipboard. “Luckily for Whumpee, there’s nothing too major going on. Looks to just be a collapse from a mix of malnourishment, sleep deprivation, and… caffeine.”

Well they could’ve guessed the sleep deprivation, but they hadn’t been eating? “Oh.”

They nodded. “What’s your relation to Whumpee? I don’t mean to pry, I was just hoping we could find a possible reason as to why.”

“Ha, I was hoping you could tell me that. Er, I’m a close friend. We met several years ago, after I accidentally knocked them into a public fountain.”

The nurse nodded again, giving a small smile. “That’s cute. Did they happen to tell you about any history, mental illnesses, that you can think of?”

Caretaker pursed their lips and sighed. “No, Whumpee doesn’t really talk about their past.” All the memories they had were from since they met.

“Alright. Well they’re awake, and you’re welcome to go see them.” Caretaker thanked them, and (after asking for the room number) nearly ran to go find Whumpee.

When they arrived, Whumpee was hooked up to a machine, IV sticking out of their arm. They looked towards Caretaker, giving an embarrassed grin.

“Hi,” they muttered, eyes unable to meet Caretaker’s.

“Thank god you’re okay.” They closed the space between the door and the bed, pulling Whumpee into a tight hug. They briefly took note of the way they melted into it. “What happened?”

“Guess I didn’t get my coffee fast enough.” They grinned, but it didn’t quite reach their eyes.

“Mm, yeah, the nurse tells me that should actually slow your roll on the caffeine.” They nudged Whumpee’s hip to make them move, before sitting down. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Caretaker-“

They stopped them. “Whumpee. You are my best friend. I just want to make sure you’re okay, and this,” they motioned to the hospital room, “is not you being okay.”

Whumpee bit their lip, looking down at their lap. They seemed to be contemplating, before; “are you sure? It’s- I don’t know if you’d want to, you know, deal with me afterwards, I just-“

Caretaker grabbed their hand, giving a small squeeze.

They sighed, then squeezed back. “Okay. Some time ago, before we met, I knew this person named Whumper.

“We we’re really close, actually, and they liked everything I did. It was like, love at first sight. Looking back now that should’ve been the first red flag, I think.”

“One day, they picked me up from home, and said they were going to take me somewhere, and blindfolded me. I thought we were going to go somewhere, fun, you know?” Whumpee’s voice cracked.

“All I know is, I woke up in a dark room, tied to a chair, and… god…” they broke off, choking on a sob.

Caretaker rubbed their back soothingly. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want.”

“It’s fine.” They wiped their eyes. “I’ll spare you the details of what happened, but I was there for almost a full year. A full fucking year.”

“The only reason I got out was ‘cause I managed to shove something in the lock from one of our last ‘sessions’.” Air quotes were used at the word.

“I ran home, to my parents. They didn’t fucking believe me, told me I did it to myself. How could I do all that to myself?!” They were freely crying now, and Caretaker listened, pulling them close.

“So I grabbed what I could, went as far as I could with what I had, and started over. It was okay for a little, but then came the nightmares, and the loneliness. God it was lonely. I was tired man, and I was actually planning to, you know…”

Caretaker pursed their lips. They didn’t know any of that about Whumpee, they always seemed so carefree.

Whumpee let out a wet chuckle. “I was on my way to do it, and here you come, head in the damn clouds, pushing me into a goddamn fountain.”

“The reason I haven’t been able to sleep is because of the nightmares. They’re coming back, and I don’t know what to do. So I figured, I’d avoid them. If I wasn’t sleep I wouldn’t feel them. You can see how well that went.”

Whumpee sighed, wiping at their face once more. “So there. My traumatic backstory.” They looked towards Caretaker, face falling.

Caretaker was stunned, they didn’t know how to feel, but Whumpee was turning away, shame burning on their features.

“Whumpee…”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, hey,” they held Whumpee’s face looking them dead in the eye. “I’m sorry that happened, and I will never leave you alone like that. You are my best friend.”

Whumpee looked down again. “But I-“

“I don’t care, I’ve already made it my problem. I love you Whumpee, and I’ll be here no matter what.”

Their eyes collected with tears again. “Thank you.”

Caretaker smiled. “Why don’t you come stay with me for a bit? I’ll watch over you. Don’t make that face, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Whumpee rolled their eyes, but gratitude filled their expression. “If you insist your highness.”

“Good, you deserve to get some sleep.”

49 notes · View notes

musubiki · 4 years ago

Note

Can we see a time when lime and mochi make each other laugh themselves sick?

waah i’ll draw it someday, but heres a few noteable times!!

- whats known as “the incident with the monk seal and the shampoo bottle.” no one knows what happened. lime refuses to talk about it, and mochi promised she would never say anything to anyone, but suffice to say it happened when they were younger, and its embarrassing enough for lime that mochi is STILL able to hold it over his head. every time mochi brings it up, she laughs about it while lime stands there red in the face. whenever she REALLY needs something, she brings it up (by name only) and he cuts her off with “OKAY OKAY SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP ILL DO IT GOD DAMN IT!!!!” meanwhile coco and oscar are CLAMMERING for someone to tell them what happened. they (and we) never find out the details of the event, except that it was embarrassing for lime, and hilarious for mochi

- they actually laugh at each other a LOT. i think ive drawn a couple times where one of them is being dumb and/or embarrassing and the other is just WHEEZING SO BAD THEY CANT SPEAK!!!!!! heres one, and heres another

- another time is post-timeskip as soon as mochi comes back. maybe after the cat-ears incident? lime has a moment where he goes “come on we’re going out to dinner,” grabs her hand and starts pulling her out the door because he missed her a lot and just wants to spend some alone time with her. they go to this seafood food truck by the beach (a place the used to go a lot before she left) and just talk and talk for hours about nothing in particular. at some point lime is telling her some stupid story about coco or oscar while she was gone and theyre laughing so hard that lime accidentally snorts a noodle, and it DISGUSTINGLY comes out of his NOSE. and hes coughing, pulling it out like some alien slime with mochi going “EEWWW” through her giggling, and when its out he jokingly fake-throws it at her and they're making so much noise that the owner (despite having known them their whole lives), kicks them out of the vicinity for disturbing the other customers LOL

#that stupid noodle thing.............i think about a lot #bpp #text

43 notes · View notes

clonecaptains · 5 years ago

Photo

PAPERCLIPS | a Javi Peña x reader fic

rating: T for dramatic elements; will change to M in future parts

summary: You think your crush on Javi goes unnoticed - until Steve and Connie take matters into their own hands.

a/n: ive had this story idea in my head for months and im so glad it’s finally out of my head and actually WRITTEN!! there will be a part two for sure, and others if i feel inspired!!

Paperclips

Being Javier Peña’s neighbor isn’t the worst thing to happen to you. Being a secretary at the DEA office is. Seeing Agent Javier Fucking Peña every day of the week is slowing killing you. His cute little ass in those tight ass jeans. He knows what he’s doing, and you hate him for it. The suits are just as bad. Displaying his broad shoulders, showing off his sharp jaw. You want nothing more than to yank him to your level by one of his ties and kiss him harshly. Yeah. You hate him.

But you won’t do anything about this hopeless crush. You haven’t done anything for weeks.

Your desk sits up higher, you look down at the boys from your perch. Javi’s desk faces away from you, which allows you to stare at the back of his head (and ass) all day. Every once and a while you get lucky and see his face when he leaves his desk to go out in the field, or when he comes into work in the mornings. He’ll turn and offer a nod or a simple wave good morning.

You are friendly acquaintances. You’ve spoken on occasion at the dreaded office parties. The only reason you ever have gone to those are the free food and the small chance to see him.

Your staring at the back of his head is the most you do lately, your crush too strong to get up the nerve to ask him for coffee. Luckily, he can’t see you pine away for him.

But unbeknownst to you, there’s a watchful pair of eyes that have seen your longing gazes at the back of Javi’s head.

One Steve Murphy.

He’s seen every glance. Every flustered look cross your face. He doesn’t want to pry, not at first. But then he remembers how his buddies set him up with Connie. And hell, Javi could use someone nice like you in his life. Someone less dangerous to get involved with than communist informants.

Steve’s told Connie every detail, it’s much more entertaining to discuss then the heavy topic of death and drug lords. Connie’s only concern is the office romance drama, but she’s your friend. And she wants the same thing for you – Javi is a good man. And being neighbors with you, she’s also seen the looks you’ve given as Javi walks down the hallway.

They are planning more on how to get you with Javi than you are.

So far, your plan is hoping he’ll need a paperclip and will come ask you for one. And then suddenly ask you to coffee and then take you back to his place and-

Oh shit.

Javi’s wearing a blue shirt today, your favorite. And you might have let your eyes linger a little too long. And you’ve just made eye contact with Steve. He quirks a brow at you, and a small smirk appears on his lips. His piercing gaze just past Javi makes his partner curious, and the object of your affections turns his head in your direction.

When Javi’s eyes meet yours, you quickly avert your gaze. Trying to busy yourself with something important. Which consists mainly of organizing your already organized desk.

Javi is none the wiser, he shrugs and goes back to work. But Steve, he saw all that he needed to see.

You spend the rest of the day with your head down. You’ve had enough embarrassment for one day. It pains you that you’re missing out on the blue shirt though.

Normally after work you come up with some excuse to try and say hi and bye to Javi on his way out. He almost never goes straight to his apartment after office hours because he’s typically working out in streets. It’s your small chance to get some form of interaction with him.

Tonight though, you get out of there as soon as possible. It kills you to leave, you can hear Javi and Steve laughing at their desks. You want to turn around and see that smile you dream of.

So instead, you get out and head home.

You look forward to a quiet evening. You need a distraction. Something, anything to keep your mind off of him. Which only seems to make you think about him even more.

It’s getting later and the wine in your system has you feeling warm. There’s a warm buzzed feeling that spreads over your body and settles between your legs.

Maybe the wine wasn’t such a good idea. And you’re being ridiculous. So, Steve saw you looking at Javi. Is that a crime? Javi is handsome. Most women in the office notice him, even the married ones get a little smile on their face when he walks by.

It’s more than that. Having your crush discovered isn’t the end of the world.

Maybe you know that if Javi was interested he would have done something by now. Maybe you know that if Steve tells Javi about your crush that something will happen. Or that something won’t.

You want to get over this crush, but all you can think about is the arousal between your legs. You’ve seen him bring women home, but it’s been some time. That’s given you a false hope you think. Regardless, you know he’s a good lover. Thin walls.

You ache.

Those nights when he’s brought a woman home have been awful. You don’t listen on purpose, and more often than not you wish you couldn’t hear. Couldn’t hear women scream out his name, wishing it were you crying out his name into the dark.

On top of all that, you know that most times when he brings someone home, it’s been a bad day for him. He brings a prostitute home to ease his sorrows with the high of a release. You want to be there for him not just sexually, but emotionally. Living next to him isn’t the worst thing, but not being able to help him when you’ve seen the weight he carries is.

You’ll see him at work the next morning and try not to pretend you didn’t hear the headboard thwacking and how much you wish it were you.

Yeah. That wine wasn’t a good idea.

You’ve created a fantasy which you entertain, maybe it’s wrong but right now the wine is talking. Your fingers tease yourself and you’re close to the edge when you hear a rapid knock on the door.

Feeling flushed and disoriented, you quickly tug your pants back on and hurry to open your door.

You’re met with the sight of a woman, obviously drunk.

“Is Javi here?” she laughs twirling her hair with her fingers. You feel sick.

“You have the wrong apartment,” you tell her and point to Javi’s front door across the hall.

Disrupted by the noise, Javi’s door opens. His eyes widen in slight shock at seeing the two of you talking. He pushes his door open, and this other woman walks past him into his place. His eyes flick up to you in a silent apology and he closes the door behind him with a click.

The silence in the hallway is deafening. You stand in your doorway in disbelief. You can hear muffled voices across the hall, and you slam your door behind you in anger. You wince at the slam, then you sink down to the floor. Tears fall from your eyes, who were you kidding?

You get no sleep that night, and every sound that drifts over from his apartment to yours fills you with dread. You’ve heard nothing sexual in nature, but that doesn’t make you feel any better.

You don’t even want to go to work. You don’t want to see him. You’re mad at him, even though you’re actually mad at yourself.

Most of the day goes by before you really get a chance to see him. And for that you are grateful.

You smell his cologne before you see him, and his tall frame hovers by your desk. His voice comes out gentle and raspy.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he starts. A small part of you hopes he’ll apologize for what it looked like, apologize for hurting you. “I’m sorry she disrupted your night.”

Oh.

“Thanks,” is your weak reply. You can’t even bear to look up at him. Shit, he smells really good too. He almost never comes up to your desk. And now that he’s here, you just want him to go away.

“Javi, I-“ you manage to look up at him. And you don’t have a clue what you’re gonna say. His eyebrows raise as he’s ready to listen to what you have to say.

“Great!” You hear Steve’s voice cut through. “I’m glad I got you both together!” he claps his hand on Javi’s shoulder. “Connie and I are having a little get together tonight, and we want you both to come! Be there at 7!” he squeezes Javi’s shoulder and gives you a nod and leave before you can tell him no.

Javi shakes his head but gives you a soft smile. “Connie’s cooking isn’t that bad,” he jokes getting a laugh from you. Even though you curse yourself for laughing, you’re still mad. But when you see him smile at your laugh, you’re not….completely mad.

You spend the rest of the day and afternoon panicking about what to wear. Who else was going to be at this “get together”?

You can only assume it’s a casual thing, but still. Knowing Javi will be there has your insides churning.

You arrive early to help Connie, and to compose yourself. You’re helping her to set the table when Javi walks in. He gives a polite nod, and Steve is quick to greet him with a beer.

You flush, and Connie sees you actively trying to avoid any looks. She gives you a gentle nudge with her elbow, getting you to look up at her.

“It’s alright,” she whispers. “He’s into you.” She looks over at the boys in the small living area. Javi’s shrugged his jacket and is sitting with Steve, one of them laughs at a joke.

You nod your head ‘no.’

“He isn’t,” you tell her with a small shrug. “Is this all that’s coming?” you ask trying to change the subject. It dawns on you then that this is a setup, a double date. You start to panic.

“Hey,” Connie’s words are soft but firm, “it’s just dinner.”

She’s right, and you know she is. But you’re not sure if you can handle looking at him. All you can think about is the woman who came knocking on your door last night and him taking her in. What else would she have been there for other than to get a little taste of Javier Peña?

It’s hard to avoid those big brown eyes when he’s sitting directly across from you at the table. The conversation is light and humorous. But the way Javi is looking at you, it’s as if he knows something. Like he can read your mind.

“Dessert?” Connie’s cheery voice tears you from your thoughts.

“I’ll help,” you tell her. You need air, you feel like you’re suffocating under his glances.

“I’d say it’s going well!” she giggles once the two of you are out of earshot in the kitchen.

“How can you even tell?” you groan. “He’s not into me Connie.”

“I don’t know, he’s been making eyes at you across the table.”

“Connie,” you hiss. “He is not into me. He brought home some woman last night. Why the hell would he be into me?”

“How do you know-“

“I know. I know!” you hiss sharply trying to keep your voice down. “He brings those women home for a fuck, I know I’ve heard! And I will NEVER be one of those women.”

And not that you want to necessarily be one of them, that he fucks only – but-

“He doesn’t want me.”

“Who said that?” Javi’s voice has you turn in the little kitchen. You almost drop the plate in your hands. Connie and Steve exchange a look. Your eyes are fixed on Javi. You wish the earth would swallow you whole.

Embarrassed and upset, tears start to well up in your eyes.

“C’mon,” Javi offers you his hand. Your arms are crossed tight against your chest, but at the softness of his voice you relax and take his hand. He guides you out of the apartment, and you turn to Connie – she gives you a smile and a nod saying, “it’s ok.”

So, you follow Javi. He guides you down the hall to his apartment. He pats his pocket but doesn’t feel his keys.

“Shit,” he laughs, “they’re in my jacket pocket-“

“We can go in mine,” you reply pulling out your keys and open your apartment door.

You’re not entirely sure what is happening, but you open the door and he follows behind.

“I didn’t bring her home for sex,” Javi tells you the moment the door closes behind him. “She’s an informant, she only pretended to be drunk so no one would be suspicious. Her idea, not mine.”

“So, you know?” your voice hesitant.

“Know what?” he leans against your kitchen counter. Your arms have crossed against your chest again.

“Know how I feel?” your face heats up.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “I could feel your eyes burning the back of my head, and my ass,” he says out of the corner of his mouth. He gives a gentle wink, his eyes bright and eyebrows lifted.

You bury your face in your hands, “was I that obvious?”

“Honestly, I thought you were checking out Steve at first,” he laughs. Your laugh joins his, and you feel more relaxed. “The only reason I never said anything was-“ he nibbles on his lower lip trying to think of what he wants to say. “I thought you wouldn’t want me.”

“What?” you gasp. “How could you think that?”

“My life is fucked up baby, why would you want in the mess?” He takes a step closer.

“All I wanted was to be there for you,” you admit, fiddling with the hem of your jacket.

“That’s all you wanted?” he takes another step closer. You can feel the heat of him. You look up at his face, he’s standing so close. His brow is raised. “That’s all you wanted?” he repeats in a whisper.

“Javi,” you whisper and melt into him as he closes the gap between you with his lips. His mustache tickles your upper lip in the way you hoped it would.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your lips and kisses the corner of your mouth.

“You don’t have to explain,” you cling to his shirt. You start to laugh and press your forehead against his solid warm chest.

“What’s so funny?” he laughs.

“This isn’t how I thought this would happen.”

“Oh?” he raises that eyebrow again.

“I thought-“

“What?” he kisses your forehead and cheeks.

“I just thought you’d come up to my desk and ask me for a paperclip or something and then ask me for coffee.”

“Baby, I will ask you for a fucking paperclip if that’s what you want.”

You snort out a laugh and he squeezes you tight. He kisses you again, and you feel dizzy.

“I don’t do this. Ever,” you flush.

“It’s ok,” he whispers kissing you again, “all I came over for was a paperclip.”

MASTERLIST

#javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javi #narcos #my gifs #mine #my writing

583 notes · View notes

angelicmichael · 4 years ago

Text

Is This Love?

Xavier Plympton x serial killer! reader

Summary: Reader is looking for her next victim but stumbles across Xavier, which changes everything.

Warnings: Smoking weed, not a lot of violence but it definetly talks about death and killing A LOT like not really in detail but just be careful when reading, no smut but a extremly steamy makeout scene happens, and sex is also mentioned I think once but it’s kept pretty vague.

Words: 5.5k+

A/N: First of all, sorry this is so fucking long lmao also I’m sorry this took me so long to write!! This fic was heavily inspired by the songs ‘Is this love’? By whitesnake and the music video ‘Your Body’ by Christina Aguilera. I love true crime so trying to write from a serial killers perspective was actually pretty hard but fun!! This fic was originally ALOT darker but I basically turned it to be really fluffy instead and I added some humor so enjoy :) please let me know if you wanna be on my tag list!!! This fic is also about to be posted on my AO3 if y’all are interested. Okay bye ♥️

Next Chapter

You had a itch but it wasn’t the kind that could be relieved by scratching. It more of a urge, a need, something you had to do..

You needed to kill.

And it had to be soon. This urge, this feeling wasn’t anything new to you. Ever since your last kill which was about a month ago, you could feel the urge building up stronger and stronger until now.. and you couldn’t suppress this urge any longer without literally losing your mind.

However you couldn’t just kill anyone. You needed the perfect victim, someone who was beautiful. Someone who had facial features that looked like they hand carved by god himself. Your victim also couldn’t be a random lowlife nobody. That would never do. That was the thrill of it for you, it had to be a risk - someone who would be missed if they were gone. You knew it was risky but you didn’t care - easy victims were boring. Simple as that.

However, today you had signed yourself up for a jazzercise class to of course work on your figure but more importantly to find your next victim. It’s not like you were gonna find your next target at a grocery store, and you didn’t want to make the mistake of killing a celebrity. Celebrities seemed to infest California like god damn cockroaches, and you knew if you killed one there would be a man hunt for you. That would also be a easy way to get on the FBIs most wanted list.. no thank you.

So that’s why you were here you were for another jazzercise class.

They were perfect for victim hunting, you had spotted many of your precious victims through jazzercise classes. You knew you were a couple minutes late for today’s class but you wouldn’t let that stop you - if anything it was good because it would draw attention to yourself and let your potential victims notice you first.

You quickly paced into the building and it was easy to tell the class had already started. You could hear the music blaring from outside, that grew increasingly louder as you approached the room. You wore your hair down - dancing with your hair down made it about 100x easier to seduce just about anyone you set your eyes on. You also sported a extra tight outfit that showed off all the right parts of your body.. You were going to find your dream victim today. You just knew it.

You carelessly threw your bag you carried with you outside of the dance room before entering, you were already pretty fucking late. You really didn’t have any time to spare to drop it off at the locker room, and plus, you were always here taking various dance classes here so it’s not like the workers didn’t know you. You ripped open the door that lead into the room where your class would be held and quickly threw yourself into the room.

“Sorry”!

You half whispered as you nearly ran past the instructor and found a empty spot in the room. When you turned around you noticed the instructor gave you a quick wink and you couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was. He had frizzy blond hair, eyes so blue you could nearly drown in them and a beyond perfect body. He looked like a fucking ken doll. You knew it right then, he had to be yours. He was perfect.. too perfect.

You could barely contain yourself from grinning or jumping with joy at being able to locate your next victim so easily but you instead channeled your energy into your dance moves. Even if you couldn’t talk to him quite yet, you might as well impress him with your moves.. right?

It must’ve been working because throughout the entire class Xavier kept his eyes mostly on you, in fact it was a wonder if he looked anywhere else in the room.

Even though you were covered in sweat by the time the class was over, and in a desperate need of a shower, you still made sure you were the last one in the room.. And finding ways to stall and not look suspicious was embarrassingly difficult.

You left your bag outside of the room so the only thing you could do was drink your water painfully slow and look busy..

You were so preoccupied with trying to keep the illusion up of looking busy that you didn’t even notice that everyone else besides you had filed out of the room. You also didn’t notice that your hottie instructor was approaching you until you felt a light hand on your shoulder..

You jumped about a foot in the air - effectively spilling all of the water from your water bottle onto you. You let out a sharp screech as well.. and immeaditly felt the embarrassment start to course through your body as if someone injected you with some kind of ‘instant embarrassment iv’ or some shit. You felt the blood start to rush to your cheeks as you could only think of how stupid you probably looked.. your body was starting to sweat again as well, you didn’t even know you had anymore sweat left in you after that class.

‘So much for catching the perfect victim’.

You thought cynically. You could feel the frustration starting to manifest inside you as well, frustration from the lack of killing and the fact that you were now soaking wet. And cold, very fucking cold.

You kind of just stood there as you threw your (plastic) water bottle onto the ground and glared at the man who was in front of you.

“I am so sorry, are you okay”?

He asked. The ruthless and stoic expression you wore seemed to melt away quickly after you heard his words and even looked at his face. His words and concern seemed so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel bad for even glaring at the poor guy about two seconds ago. Even just by looking at him, you could tell he actually felt bad for what had happened. However, no sweet he looked, the frustration and the lust that you still felt to claim another life still lingered within you.

You also couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was up close. Typically people who looked beautiful from far away showed some flaws when they were looked at up close but you swear this man had absolutely no flaws. His skin was perfect, his hair, his eyes - and his lips looked so deliciously soft. How was this man even real?

You blinked a couple times and licked your lips as you realized that he was still waiting for a reply from you. Duh.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I could use a towel though”.

You giggled as you looked back down at your wet clothes and your wet self with shame.

“Oh yeah, of course! Towels are back here”.

He led you out of the dance studio and across the building, it wasn’t too far of a walk. On the walk over to get towels you two ran into a couple of people he knew, you assumed his close friends or maybe coworkers? It was hard to tell at a first glance. You didn’t stop to talk but just wave.. and you assumed they were his close friends by how they were all looking at you. They all seemed to look you up and down and one even gave you a wink. You assumed that this guy didn’t talk to many women.. and maybe this was why his friends seemed so excited to see you with him? Oh fuck, could he be gay?

Oh fuck.

You knew this whole thing was too good to be true. You would still be able to kill him if he was gay of course, being gay did not give someone a out of jail free card when it came to being murdered but seduction would be out of the equation for sure - and the whole act of seducing your victims before death was your favorite part.

Typically what you did to your victims was lead them on and make them think you were going to have sex with them - and then right before either of you would take your clothes off you would slit their throat with the knife you kept on you. That same knife was even in your bag right now but if this guy was really gay, your previous plan to end this guy would be a no go. You would have to get creative with this one.. or just give up entirely.

You were brought back into reality when you realized he was trying to lead you into a locker room, a men’s locker room to be specific. He stood in the doorway, gesturing for you to come inside but you hesitated. You bit your lip and contamplaited.. a quick look over your shoulder showed you that his friend group was nowhere in sight and either was anyone else really. No one would see you.

You grinned as you quickly turned your attention back to the man in front of you and followed him inside the locker room. You quickly observed that the locker room was completely vacant execpt for you two, thank god.

“So do I get to know your name”?

You said, still keeping a sweet smile on your face.

“Only if I get to know yours”.

He said, also sporting a small smile as he tossed you a cream colored towel that you catched.

“(y/n)”.

You replied.

“Xavier”.

“Makes sense that someone as pretty as you would have a pretty name to match”.

You said with a smirk, and you noticed how Xavier softly laughed and how his cheeks dusted a light pink color. He almost looked like he was embarrassed, it was fucking adorable really. You did a quick double take around the room to make sure you two were truly alone before you made your next move.

“There’s no cameras in here right”?

You asked, your fingers delicately holding the hem of your shirt. Xavier took a couple steps toward you, getting closer.

“No. There’s not babe”.

He said, he seemed to be studying you now - waiting for your next move. Maybe you were just imagining it but you swear you could just see a glint of lust in his eyes. You figured the fastest way to see if he was really gay or not would be to take your shirt off - his reaction would quickly tell you.

You took your other hand and hooked your fingers under your wet shirt and quickly pulled it off in one quick swipe, leaving you exposed in your bra. You dropped your shirt behind you on the floor, the wet noise it made as it hit the floor seemed to echo throughout the bare locker room. You gently put the towel Xavier gave you on the bench that was right next to you, judging by where things were going - you wouldn’t need the towel anymore.

“If I knew you were gonna take me here I wouldn’t have asked you for a towel, you know”.

You said, nearly whispering because he was so close now. You took a step closer to him, your faces only a couple inches a part now. You left your lips parted and you looked into his eyes.. and that was a fucking mistake. All of the common sense you were holding onto left and all thoughts you previously had seemed to thin out and dissolve into nothing.

You could taste his breath now he was so close. All it took was for him to put his hands on your waist and you gave in. You closed the distance that kept you two apart and you kissed him. Hard.

This was breaking one of your major rules that you kept for yourself as a serial killer. You tried to always make your victim make the first move - to kiss you first. This seemed to keep them on their toes and wanting more, and it kept you in control. However, being here with Xavier, all senseable thoughts you once had were long fucking gone. Right now, you didn’t care about anything else execpt for kissing him. Everything else seemed irrelevant, you just wanted to live in this moment forever.

The kiss started off sweet but it continued to grow more heated as you kissed him harder and harder. Your hands wasted no time in finding his shoulders as your nails started to dig into his skin. You impatiently bit his lower lip - wanting more.

You felt Xavier softly break away from you, but he didn’t move away too far from you, his face moved over to whisper in your ear,

“Jump”.

You instantly jumped and you felt him catch your legs, essentially holding you up as he continued to keep kissing you. You felt him take a couple steps and in this moment you didn’t care where he was even going too - you just.. felt different. Maybe it was a new emotion, but you felt peaceful for once in your life. And it felt way too fucking good to let go of. Not to mention you were beyond happy he wasn’t gay like how you suspected.. but it wasn’t your fault that you knew zero straight guys that instructeted jazzercise classes or wore short shorts and actually looked good doing it.

However.. You also felt something else and that was unprepared. It was clear to see where this makeout sesh was really headed too and your knife which was in your bag, was no where near you. In fact you had no fucking clue where it was which meant you couldn’t kill him now, you would have to ask him out.

You felt Xavier gently put you down on the ground, you could feel the rough surface of lockers poking up against your back. You were on the verge of mentioning how uncomfterable you were when you heard a deafening loud creak echo throughout the locker room. Someone was opening the fucking locker room door. Fuck!

You felt a jolt of anxiety run through you like electricity as you two instantly seperated, and tried to look as innocent as possible. You wiped your mouth and you and Xavier both stood up before you actually bothered to look who came into the locker room in the first place.

“Hey love birds”!

You heard a chirp, female

Voice. You couldn’t help but laugh- was it common for girls to just waltz in the men’s locker room? When she walked forward and came into view, You easily recognized her as one of the people from Xaviers friend group that was waving at you two ealier... In fact, she was the one who winked at you ealier as well.

“Nice to see you too ‘Tana”.

Xavier grumbled back, after he swiftly rolled his eyes. You assumed ‘Tana was short for Montana and she certainly looked like a interesting character.. espically if she frequently went into men’s restrooms. Her hair was a white bleached blonde - so bleached that her hair looked entirely stripped and dryer than the god damn Sahara desert. She had heavy blue eyeshadow on her eyelids and you couldn’t help but admire that she atleast tried to put a effort in her appearance.

Montana stood right next to Xavier and it was obvious to tell by the looks they exchanged that she wanted to talk to him - alone. She awkwardly shifted glances between you and Xavier and you bit your tongue, the realization hitting you like a freight train - what if this was his fucking girlfriend? Normally with victims you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops but Xavier was different. Something about him was very different from the rest of your victims but you were still trying to put your finger on exactly why. You cleared your throat and figured before you left like they wanted you too, you should atleast introduce yourself.

“Hi, I’m (y/n)”.

You said, sporting a smile as you took a step forward toward Montana to shake her hand. She took it and shook it a bit too roughly and spotted a grin that would even make the Cheshire Cat jealous.

“I’m Montana! It’s nice to finally know the name of one Xavier’s girlfriends”.

She said with a excited look on her face. You quickly opened your mouth to speak - this girl was pretty straight forward wasn’t she? Atleast you knew she wasn’t dating Xavier.

“Oh - im not his girlfriend, we actually just met but you know.. I wouldn’t mind changing that”.

You said, adding a playful wink and biting your lip while staring instensily at Xavier. You knew you were being incredibly straight forward as well but at this point you didnt care, you just wanted to see him again.

Xavier finally stopped looking at Montana and met your gaze as he took a couple steps toward you.

“Me too, babe. My place tonight at six? I’ll pick you up”.

Xavier said and you quickly gave him your address and awkwardly left the locker room with Montana’s stare burning holes through your back. Maybe she was just jealous?

It didn’t matter, after tonight Xavier wouldn’t exsist anyway so who even cared what this supposed friend of his thought of you... but. Something weird was happening to you. The thought of actually killing again made you happy - yes. Just the act of taking another’s life and seeing them suffer but having it be Xavier? You barely knew the guy but it almost made you sad to not be able to see him again after tonight. He really did seem like a sweet guy with good intentions but that never seemed to stop you before.

You went back to the lobby and quickly picked up your bag that you had left there (albeit carelessly) and you figured tonight you would bring your knife just in case. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to kill him tonight - the vibe felt off. Plus, since when had you been on a actual date that didn’t involve murder at the end?? The answer was never. You deserved to have a nice date, with a pretty person. Murder could wait until tommorow.

Montana and Xavier both stared at

you as you passed them, and watched as you left the locker room. However, they both held their breath until the locker room door completely shut close. Montana snapped her head forward once the door shut and decided to be the one who first spoke.

“Xavier, that person is not to be trusted”.

Montana took a couple steps toward him as she spoke. Xavier immeaditly furrowed his eyebrows in a look of confusion, he could feel himself automatically getting defensive. He loved Montana (as a friend of course) but he swore Montana took that love in a different way.. And this made it obvious. He just met you, why was Montana already investigating into you and making wild accusations? This made no sense unless perhaps Montana had feelings again for Xavier.

However Xavier merely crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“That’s funny coming from you”.

However, Montana didn’t laugh or even smile. She continued to look completely serious, as she spoke.

“I’m not kidding. I don’t care if shes pretty or a good kisser or whatever the hell. You need to promise me you won’t see them tonight like you said”.

Her voice first started out as harsh and then grew soft and almost vulnerable.

Xavier shifted in place and nervously licked his lips.

“Montana what the hell. I’m not just gonna blindly follow what you say”.

Xavier said, his words spitting venom as he spoke. At this point he really didn’t care if he was coming out as harsh - Montana had a boyfriend.. why couldn’t she just leave Xavier alone with this new girl he just met?

Montana stepped closer to Xavier and put both of her hands of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

“You need to listen to me Xavier or your going to get yourself killed”.

Montana’s cherry red lips turned into a snarl.

“I saw their bag in the lobby and there was a knife in it. It was a fucking big knife Xav, no one just carries a knife like that”.

Montana added but Xavier was still in denial. Xavier looked at the ground as he slightly paced back and forth in place.

“How big of a knife”?

Xavier asked quietly.

“Its a fucking butchers knife. I wouldn’t be worried if it was a pocket knife, Xavier”!

Montana replied and Xavier kind of froze. He didn’t know how to react, he knew all of the men that had gone missing as of lately. And he also knew that they were all around the same age and had the same appearance that he had. Could he really be the next victim? He felt tears start to prick at his eyes, there was no way. This girl he had met ealier was so sweet, just because she had a knife didn’t mean she was a fucking killer.. right?

All that Xavier could think to do in response to this was to look up at Montana sadly.

“Why were you going through their bag in the first place”?

Xavier asked, his voice coming out as jagged and rough with emotion. However, Montana still continued to act stoic as she nearly yelled at him.

“You nearly hooked up with a fucking serial killer and your concerned about my priorities? Dude, you need to promise me you won’t see them again”.

Xavier stared at Montana blankly. It was obvious what this was about, he knew Montana really found no knife and he also knew Montana made up this whole story because she was jealous. That was it. Montana just didn’t wanna see Xavier with anyone else, that was the bottom line.. Xavier rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Montana. I have another class to get too”.

He could hear Montana protesting and yelling his name as he walked past her but he didn’t care anymore. He was determined - he was going to meet you tonight at six, whether it killed him or not.

He had to admit to himself though, even though he was excited to see you again a part of him dreaded it. He knew there was a small chance that Montana could be right - and what if she was?

Even though Xavier knew he was in pretty good shape he knew his muscles magically became useless when it came to self defense. He was shit at self defense honestly. He was good at archery but he didn’t own a fucking bow and arrow.

He made a mental note to pick up a pocket knife before coming to pick you up. If you really were a fucking killer a pocket knife wasn’t going to stop you but it was sure better than nothing.

Six O’ Clock came and went and Xavier picked you up in the glamourus Vanta-C. Being in a van that smelled heavily of weed and nothing else wasn’t too exciting but somehow Xavier made it fun, like how he did with everything it seemed like.

He had a sort of magic about him, the type of magic that made you actually start to feel things for once - feel different emotions that you had never felt before. Like would you even dare say it, love? Well, maybe love was a bit of a exaggeration - you just met the guy after all - but, you had no idea honestly.. you had nothing else to base this off of, you’ve never really had a crush or romantic interest on anyone before ever. The interest you’ve had in your other previous victims was always based off of looks - it was the thrill of the chase that appealed to you more than anything. However, you couldn’t say that about Xavier. After meeting him ealier - you were dying to get to know him better so that you could probably fall in love with him, if you were even capable of doing that.

Maybe it was foolish to assume that Xavier would be taking you back to his apartment, or house, or wherever the hell he lived but he didn’t. You two stayed in the Vanta-C which he drove and parked it in a park that was a couple blocks or so away from where you resided.

It took you two a while to decide on a decent place to park the car and go to - at first it was a matter of where to go. Whether to go and get food, or head over to someone’s place or just stay in the Vanta and obviously the last option won.

You had to admit the scene you two were in was starting to get rather romantic - not that you experienced this type of feeling before but rather You based this feeling off of movies and other various entertainment you’ve watched; this is what romance seemed like to you.

The sun was just starting to set; painting the sky a various different tones of purples, blues and pinks as the sun started to dip further and further into the tree line. You and Xavier both ditched the front and the passenger seat and both camped out in the very back of the van - where the seat was really more of a glorified couch than a actual seat.

The windows were all shut and so were the doors, essentially so that you two could hotbox. You never thought that a pretty boy like Xav would smoke weed, but you also thought he was gay at first so - you found it best not to assume anything about him anymore.

There was plenty of room left on the back seat but you and Xavier chose to sit incredibly close to eachother. You sat side by side and your shoulder and arms touched but you didn’t mind of course. The closer the better.

Your bag was pooled near your feet, near the door which was away from Xavier. Sure enough, the knife was inside but it was hidden under a couple of other objects that you kept in your bag. The longer you spent with him, the more you were regretting bringing the knife in the first place.. because it was making you fucking neurotic. When he first picked you up, all you could think about and focus on was that god damn knife and how it would end up slitting Xavier’s throat by the end of the night. However, you seemed to be more relaxed the longer you were around him. It was hard to tell whether it was just the vibes he gave off or the weed that relaxed you so much; maybe both.

By now, the thoughts of killing and that stupid knife had become lost and put somewhere far off in your brain - somewhere you couldn’t access when you were high. You barely even noticed you were Intensely staring down your bag until you felt a soft hand gently rub down your arm.

“Hey babe, are you okay”?

You looked back up at Xavier to only see him wearing a puzzled expression of his face - which looked adorable with his blue puppy dog eyes. You also noticed in his other hand (that wasn’t still on your arm) was the blunt you two were smoking - oops.

“Yeah, I’m okay”.

You replied, your voice small and rather quiet. You took the blunt from Xavier and took a deep hit, and sat with the smoke in your lungs for a couple seconds. It wasn’t until you felt the smoke burning and eating away at your lungs and throat was when you exhaled. You exhaled slowly, dreamily watching the smoke cloud up the Vanta-C even more so than it already was.

Before you even knew it, or consciously decided to - you heard yourself talking.

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.. I have something to tell you”.

You swallowed and took one last quick hit before handing the blunt back to your new lover and looking him in the eyes. You saw something in his eyes that was new to you - was it fear? Why he was he scared?? It was only a glimmer of fear that you caught in his eyes but still - it defintly threw you off guard. You just saw his lips part like he was about to say something when you quickly spoke first.

“Xavier, I’m crazy about you”.

You blurted out, with a embarrassing giggle. You blamed being incredibly straight forward on the weed, of course you would never be like this if you were sober. Never.

Your lips closed into a closed mouth smile, you had more to say but you figured to wait for some kind of reaction from Xavier first. The glimmer of fear you saw in his eye ealier seemed to morph into confusion, disbelief, and then happiness. Pure happiness.

“What”?

He laughed.

“You heard me! I know I just met you, but Xav’ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. and I mean it”.

Xavier gently placed his hands on your face - on both of your cheeks - before deeply kissing you. You placed your hands on his chest which effectively made him start to lay down while you gently maneuvered your way on top of him so that you two would be laying down on the long back seat of his van.

You moved your leg up to straddle him when you felt your foot snag on something. At first you merely tried to pull it away free but to no avail. Xavier broke away from you since he could feel you moving your leg vigorously and you managed to get your leg free with one big final yank of your leg.

You snapped your head to see what the fuck dared make this gorgeous man stop kissing you when your heart stopped - it was your bag. You must’ve hooked your foot around your bag and when you freed your foot you managed to topple the bag and spill out all of the contents... which meant your butchers knife was on full fucking display for Xavier to see.

FUCK.

You felt your breath stop as the world seemed to come to a stand still. You felt frozen, bewildered and caught off guard but you definetly didn’t feel scared. You moved your leg over awkwardly to straddle him but the vibe had defintly changed. The romantic vibes that seemed in the air ealier had been swept clean and nearly were completly gone. You decided to try and save your ass and be the first to speak.

“Xavier I-“

“Get off of me”.

He spoke softly and his voice was lowered. You took a deep breath as you awkwardly climbed off of him and you two sat in the position that you two were in ealier - side by side execpt you two were farther apart this time.

You tried again to explain yourself but Xavier spoke first.

“What the hell is this? W-why did you bring that knife”?

You noted how his eyes started to have tears building up in them. You absentmindedly moved the knife back into your bag with your foot and noticed how badly Xavier flinched away from you when you did so. Your turned your focus back to Xavier.

“Look, I know it looks bad but I just keep it on me for self defense. You know, with the night stalker and all”?

You said, with a slight giggle. Instantly, the tension that built up was broken and it was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He laughed and he scooted up the seat to get closer to you - stepping on all of items from your bag that were still on the ground but you didn’t really care. You were just happy you were able to pull off that lie and convince him you were someone else you really weren’t.

A thought crossed the back of your mind of how easy it would really be to just reach down and grab the knife and easily slit his throat. It would be almost too easy, but no.

As Xavier pulled you into his arms and you layed down into the rough fabric of the back seat, you felt safe (which was incredibly ironic). You felt at home, and in love.

As you turned your head to continue where you two had left off at the locker room, you couldn’t help but hazily day dream about tommorow.

Just because Xavier’s life was spared didn’t mean your thirst or your itch to take another’s life was gone.. it just meant it would have to wait until tommorow.

Taglist: @guiltyfiend

#xavier x reader #fic #my works #my fic #ahs #1984 #xavier plympton x reader #is this love?

65 notes · View notes

melforbes · 3 years ago

Note

ask meme. what if. patching up. no I still haven’t seen source material

the way i completely forgot about this ask until i wrote like two paragraphs in this and was like oh shit lmao

the source material is getting an hbo series bb you're in luck also ignore anna whatever as tess yes i respect her as an actress yes she is talented in a bunch of things i have not seen but ms annie wersching is the only tess in my heart and also if i have to endure tess being reduced to a powerbitch stereotype i will start foaming at the mouth. but also i have no feelings about this whatsoever <3

WHAT IF: i will pick an important choice or event in my current project and write three sentences (or more?) about if it’d gone done differently

hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

this is hard because i kind of had a stupid amount of confidence in the decisions i had them make in this and because i have ~a lot of experience~ in flying by the seat of my pants with writing lmaooooo a lot of the time with this ive had some degree of foresight when it comes to certain plot decisions. the only reason i have this in the first place is that with other things ive had kind of sort of plot revelations and then been like "well if i'd set that up three chapters ago it would have a huge impact i think but instead i guess it's just going in this one for a smaller impact" so i think i learned my lesson haha. also because this pairing nowadays has a small and sparse tag i really intentionally put in stuff to make it interesting (maybe the wrong word) to reread. like not Interesting interesting but i wanted there to be certain details that are more relevant on a reread than on an initial read because whenever i read stuff in small tags i tend to read it Multiple Times lmaoooooo and it's like if anyone like me is out there I Will Feed You. I Will Give You Food. you see i have this problem in which im like i dont want to act like i put thought into this because That's Embarrassing and i also dont want to seem like i take this too seriously because That's Embarrassing and also i dont want to act uppity or pompous or something But At The Same Time i do put a lot of thought into certain things and i feel like mentioning that and i dont really want to judge myself for that. it's complicated but also super uncomplicated. where was i going with this

OH right. so most of the plot decisions were made super concretely. like pre breakup arc in the nightmares chapters (which came out so much worse than i intended alkdjksjad;glksjg) when tess and joel talk about ellie Knowing (also legit it is such a trip to me that you dont know the context of that. a trip in a good way) she says we every time and he only ever says i even when she points out that this would affect both of them, and at one point i think he says that tess doesnt understand baseless violence which is 100% untrue, and then there's a bunch of window imagery i put in starting there because im a freak. so like For Once In My Life a lot of this was as planned as it could be. on occasion there's been Plot Revelations that get wedged in (the radio interlude chapter, which was a bit of an inelegant seam between prewritten things that didnt mesh well) but for the most part ive got tits out into every decision. like tess and ellie disagreeing about joel's choice was very planned though i imagine that kind of conversation could be executed many different ways i had my one way and stuck to it. so either way

where was i going with this. did i have a point.

OKAY. let's see. i think one of the big ~emotional beats~ so to speak was the ambush chapter and i think that's the favorite because that's usually where people comment if i remember correctly and initially i wasnt going to go with that tone At All haha. years ago i wrote everyday domestic scenes of mulder and scully from x files and had it all on this blog and it was plotless but largely in the same overarching universe (i say as if it was legit ever That Deep) and after writing this as a oneshot and being like you know? Kind of feel like doing that again. i figured i would just follow the same largely plotless path of legit just domesticity and leave it at that. and i think the first like five chapters are tonally different from the rest because i'd never really intended for it to have plot or really any depth whatsoever. in the end like. How do i say this in a way that wont be interpreted as uppity or something asldkjgalsdgjk like. when i did those mulder scully scenes i was very much a beginner and i think i didnt realize just how inherent that beginner-ness was to the concept itself. which isnt a bad thing! like people had fun with those so far as i remember. bizarrely enough i think people might still read those which. cringe. but you kno!!! but with a few years of distance from that kind of concept i think it was hard for me to Not try something else. especially with this universe in which it's just dense with storytelling opportunity. and also i felt as if the first few chapters were just like super super lighthearted and i wanted some angst factor. which is why in the end the angst factor plot itself is flimsy as fuck. like i did not care WHY they got attacked i just wanted that sweet sweet hurt/comfort cup of tea u feel. and after that i didnt really go for the plot too much But i did edge toward it a lot more. like i mean ultimately this is a romance like it was not intended to be plot heavy ever But it's more plot heavy than it couldve been. had i actually written it as i'd intended from the start i think it wouldve gotten old really fast. like nothing but lighthearted domesticity doesnt make sense in this context. for the first few chapters it doesnt necessarily kill the whole thing imo because like. that's the first few chapters. but after then if there was never any ~deeper thoughts~ i think it wouldve gotten reductive super fast.

hmmm what else. Because i am deciding to talk too much on the internet now.

oh in theory the whole breakup arc couldve been omitted and now in retrospect im like it's hilarious that like the next chapter after they got married i immediately peppered in hints that they would break up lkajsdglaksjgdlkj like wow. That lasted a long time. but like i mean i think with them it fits that they would do something like get married before they even said that they loved each other. like i can see them doing a massive workaround instead of doing a small and simple but vulnerable thing. makes sense 2 me. and like they definitely couldve stuck together in the end but 1 theres interesting storytelling in how maybe joel was too stubborn or maybe they grew apart in certain ways or blah blah blah and 2 I JUST LOVE A GOOD BREAKUP AND THEN RETURNING TO EACH OTHER ARC OKAAAAAAAAAY. legit. favorite trope. if i ever experienced that in real life i would claw my eyes out but in fiction it makes me FERALLLL. and also like i mean i lov these two for their dumb quirks but also like it would be a lil wrong to say there wouldnt be consequences for like. Not communicating haha. also again like the world this game is put in is so full of storytelling opportunities and im like Must Take Them All. like joel is stubborn as hell and shuts down when he's overwhelmed and there is growth in the first game (and in the second too but thats not really shown as much and is more left for the player to fill in the gaps i think) but also i think it would be super easy to regress in that sense and i had fun with putting him in those situations. and it's also super fun to have an additional person for the joel and ellie plots to bounce off of. like joel and ellie are two very stubborn people and having an extra person there to be like You Blithering Idiots has been a good time. im getting sidetracked. like it was fun to answer the question of how these two in a marriage neither of them can fully substantiate would communicate in hard times and the answer i personally found was that they both would end up breaking things. which was fun to write!!!!!!!!! but in theory couldve been prevented. maybe i just cant imagine this a different way haha. like Joel And Tess Learn Healthy Communication Skills Over Time. am i mean for saying that doesnt sound probable aldskjgalskdjgslkgj

OH LMAO THE MARRIAGE PART. that was also a big decision i guess. i wouldnt make it go differently alksdjglasdjg like. i definitely couldve written the context around that many different ways bc again this whole is full of opportunity But a frankly premature wedding just feels right to me. especially with like going from being stuck on survival to being safe for the first time in decades. and then having that sense of safety get boring and wondering why there was that super fast wedding in the first place. cant really imagine it going differently

there is later unposted stuff that could def have gone many different ways and that i tried to make go different ways but that would not be right to talk about akldsjaslkgdjsg so.

this got too long sorry <3

3 notes · View notes

maraudererasmut · 5 years ago

Text

Black and White (Part XXXVI)

((Hey all! I might have to take a bit of an unexpected hiatus for a few days. Don’t worry, I will try to continue to write while I am gone and post as soon as I can. I apologize for the inconvenience!))

TW: mentions of sex (no actual sex, just vague discussions about it!)

It had been over a week since Remus and Sirius had fooled around in Black and White, and their late night shenanigans had yet to be mentioned by either party. Remus had avoided bringing anything up at the risk of making Sirius feel uncomfortable, and he could only assume that his boyfriend had done the same.

When Remus was out with Lily on their weekly coffee date, he absentmindedly nodded along to whatever his friend was saying; his mind was focused on other, more pressing matters.

"You okay, Remus?" Lily asked, nudging her friend with her foot. "You look a little out of it…"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, trying to bring his attention back to Lily. "Just lost in thought…"

"Wanna share with the class?"

Remus shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. He wasn't sure how much to disclose, or how much Sirius had already said to her. Seeing as Lily wasn't begging for additional details, Remus had assumed that Sirius hadn't mentioned anything about their evening in the gallery.

"Is Sirius a virgin?" Remus asked, surprising even himself with his straightforward question.

Lily stared blankly for a moment before bursting out in laughter. Remus furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what was so funny.

"What kind of a question is that, Remus? Where did that come from?"

"Iunno…" Remus looked down at his hands, trying not to let himself feel embarrassed. "I... was just wondering…"

Lily blinked. She scrunched her nose and tilted her head to the side.

"You're not kidding, are you..."

"Nope."

"Uh… no. No, Sirius isn't a virgin. Remus, he's almost thirty!"

"So?" Remus scowled at Lily, crossing his arms in dismay. "Age has nothing to do with that."

"You're right, you're right… I'm sorry. I just… A— are you?"

"What? No! I'm— no, I'm not. This isn't about me." Remus knew he was sounding a bit too defensive, but he hadn’t been expecting Lily to ask him that. Remus never had any particular qualms discussing his sex life in general, so he didn’t mind answering candidly— he was just taken by surprise by Lily asking him the same question in return. "I...well, things were a bit odd the other night and I was just… wondering…"

"Odd?" Lily quirked an eyebrow as she rested her chin in her palm. "In what way?"

Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"How much do you know?"

"Nothing." Lily must have noticed the look on Remus' face, because she put her hands up and let out a giggle. "Honestly! Nothing! He hasn't told me anything! Last I heard, you two made up and you've been on a few dates and that's it!"

Remus nodded— they had made up and been on a few dates, that much was true. It seemed that Sirius neglected to tell Lily that after each date since their night in the gallery, he gave Remus a chaste kiss and a jovial goodbye before driving away.

"Sirius and I… we uh… we haven't…" Remus ran a hand through his curls, trying to think of a way to discuss this delicately. "I mean, we've only been dating for a week, but I was kind of expecting to… you know… and we haven't…"

"Hmm…" Lily crossed her fingers and chewed her lip in contemplation. "Maybe he's… trying not to push you? Like… maybe he's trying to respect your boundaries?"

"I've… made my intentions pretty clear," Remus admitted with a chuckle. He had not been subtle about his desire to sleep with Sirius this past week, but Sirius acted as if he was none the wiser.

"Have you tried asking him?"

Remus shrugged.

"I figured I'd ask you first… I didn't really want to… make things awkward, you know? We haven't been together that long. I was starting to get the feeling that something else was up..." Remus took another sip from his mug, trying to give himself a moment to think. "Is this… his first time dating a guy?"

Lily shook her head.

"No, he's been with men before. He's… never been averse to sleeping with anyone, to put it lightly."

"Just me, then..." Remus didn’t mean to sound so dejected when he spoke, but he couldn’t keep it out of his voice.

Lily's expression changed to the dreaded look of pity that Remus hated. She reached a hand out to his, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm sure that's not it, Remus. You should talk to him! I'm sure he has a good reason for why you two haven't done anything…"

Remus' mind wandered briefly to a fleeting image of Sirius on his knees and he quickly distracted himself with his tea.

"We… I mean… it's not like we haven't done anything…" He murmured, barely concealing his blush.

"Oh my god, Remus! Why haven't you told me?! Tell me everything!" Lily had a grin so wide, Remus couldn't stifle his laugh.

"No. I'm not telling you everything. We just… we did some stuff… he didn't seem as interested in doing other things…"

"Ugh, you're being so vague. This isn't helpful, you know!" Lily tried to give Remus a serious look, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"He… didn't seem too keen on having sex. I didn't want to push it, so I just… left it at that. I was confused, is all. So I figured I'd ask you if he...had ever done it before..."

Lily's smile wilted as she considered Remus carefully, trying to read him.

"As far as I know, Sirius has always been fine with sex… I'm not really sure what's going on… Do you… want me to talk to James?"

"No no, leave James out of it. I'll talk to Sirius myself. I just…" Remus rolled his eyes as he thought about this whole situation. "I figured I should do some recon in case there was something delicate that I needed to know before I breached the subject. God… this is all so high school…"

Lily smirked at her friend over her coffee cup.

"You two are adorable," she cooed before taking a sip.

"Yeah yeah… shut up."

——-

"Hey Remus!"

Sirius sounded so enthusiastic on the phone, Remus could picture the gallery owner's smile perfectly in his head. The artist grinned up at his ceiling as he held his cell to his ear.

"Hey…"

"Ready for tonight? I was thinking we could catch a play. I've got a friend who can get us great seats—"

"That sounds lovely, Sirius," Remus interrupted, trying not to sound like he wasn't grateful.

"I feel there's a but coming…"

"I thought maybe… we could stay in tonight? I mean, don't get me wrong, this past week has been amazing, and it's so sweet of you to take me out to all of these things…"

"But?"

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.

"But I hate that it always has to be you treating me. I'd… I'd love to be able to treat you to something for a change. I just… you know I can't really aff—"

"Exactly!" Sirius sounded like he was sure Remus had just proved his point. "I don't mind treating you to stuff! You're my boyfriend, afterall. Let me spoil you. You know that I can afford it, I don't really see the problem!"

Remus held back his groan. Of course Sirius didn't see the problem.

"I know, I just…" Remus picked up a paintbrush that had been lying on his bedside table and he began to twiddle it between his fingers. "I like that you want to spoil me, I just… I'm not really a fan of being spoiled…"

There was a pause on the other end, and for a moment, Remus was sure that Sirius was about to break up with him.

"So… you don't want me to take you out places?"

"No, no, I just… how 'bout a happy medium? It doesn't have to be going out every time we see each other. We don't have to go to fancy restaurants every evening. We can… stay in sometimes. Watch some TV… play a board game… you know?"

Something about Sirius' silence told Remus that he didn't know.

"So… you want to spend tonight in?"

"Yeah! You can… uh…" Remus turned to look at his tiny flat, knowing that it was nothing compared to what Sirius was used to. "You can come to my place if you want. I can… cook you dinner…"

Remus silently prayed that Sirius would say no and invite Remus over to his place instead. That would be the ideal compromise: a night at Sirius' place.

"You know what? I'd like that. Dinner at your place sounds lovely."

Remus blinked, his hand stopped moving and the brush fell onto his chest.

"I… what?"

"We can have dinner at your place tonight. I didn't realize you could cook!"

Neither did I…

Remus closed his eyes tightly, silently cursing himself for trying to be polite and inviting Sirius over.

"Yeah, okay," he choked out, trying to sound casual. "I'll cook you dinner at mine. See you tonight…"

"See you tonight, Remus. I can't wait to see what you're gonna make!"

"Yeah… same…" Remus groaned, more to himself than to Sirius. He had accidentally dug himself a hole that he wasn't entirely sure he could climb out of.

#Wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #Black and white #Marauder era #Harry Potter fanfiction #Wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar fanfiction #my writing #remus x sirius #Sirius x Remus #black and white part 36 #part 36 #Part XXXVI #B&W #tw: mentions of sex

207 notes · View notes

whatcouldgowrong-ohthat · 5 years ago

Text

Us and Andie Ch. 5

Summary: Bucky works as an Avenger because it’s what’s right. He feels he has sins he’ll never be able to make up for, but he’ll spend the rest of his life trying. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he comes across Andie, the daughter of recently divorced Y/N. The life he had once “maintained” in hopes of surviving changes as his heart warms for a tough-as-nails nurse and her wonderful daughter.

Word Count: 3227 words

Warnings: Reader and Bucky interaction! There is angst and mentions of abuse.

A/N: There is a lot more angst in this chapter just because Y/N’s telling Bucky hers and Andie’s history. And guys - this divorce story is based off of real events from someone I’m very close to. I wish it wasn’t real, but it is. I actually downplayed it for this particular story. But single parents? Victims of abuse? They deserve all of our love and support because they work their asses off just trying their best.

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

Seeing an Avenger run errands was something that one wouldn’t label as “normal”. Ever. A giant of a man attempting to squeeze past other shoppers in skinny aisles? Natasha quietly appearing wherever she needed to do something as simple as grab a carton of milk? And God forbid a billionaire playboy like Tony go shopping on his own for something as trivial as frozen pizza. In fact, Sam might have been the only Avenger that Y/N could picture and it might be the slightest bit, maybe just maybe, normal.

But this particular Avenger? Bucky? It seemed…improbable? Impossible? Inconceivable. That was the word.

Maybe Y/N needed to stop watching The Princess Bride with Andie.

She watched as Bucky looked over her list, grabbing things from shelves and tossing them in the basket. Several women had noticed him. It was hard not to. The guy was massive. And Y/N had to admit, it was nice having him around. It was weird – she barely knew anything about him, but he was determined to help her.

“Tell me something.”

Bucky looked up, raising an eyebrow as she grabbed two bags of M&Ms. One peanut butter, the other dark chocolate. He wondered if they were both Andie’s favorites or if one was maybe hers. “Like what?” He looked back at her, handing her the list before pushing the cart.

She started scratching things off, shrugging. “Something not related to Hydra? Or the Avengers?” As interesting as it now was to say she met with and hung out with the Avengers, she still preferred normal. There was no denying that. And the idea of knowing something like that about Bucky? The idea made her smile.

“I like sweet things.”

That wasn’t what she was expecting. Y/N stepped in front of the cart, hopping on it and allowing him to push her. “I need an explanation behind that. I thought everyone likes sweets. At least to some degree, right?”

Bucky pulled the cart to a stop, surprised when she hopped up. However, despite his surprise, he had to admit that it was cute. He’d seen her wild and worried, but Bucky had yet to see her relax. To act less like a mom and more like…herself? There was a better way to word that, he was sure of it. He crossed his arms and leaned against it, trying to find the right words before realizing he still owed her an explanation. “Hydra didn’t exactly go out of their way to give me good food. Mostly it was IV nutrients or stuff that could hardly even qualify as food.”

Her heart sank at that. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the hero gig. “Oh…”

“Yeah, so when I got out I just…I promised myself I wouldn’t live like that anymore. I want to enjoy things and it turns out sweets became one of those…things.”

Y/N smiled at that. “I’ll make those pancakes for you. That Andie likes so much.”

Bucky looked up at her, eyes wide and jaw dropped. She didn’t – “You don’t – “

“What, you’re the only person that’s able to do nice things?” She hopped off the cart, crossing her arms. “Not happening. Besides, baking is one of those things I do.”

“Even in that tiny ass kitchen?” Y/N gaped at him and he cringed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

But it turned out, Bucky’s apology wasn’t even necessary. Y/N was laughing and swatted his arm, earning a small jump from him. “Yes, actually, I do bake even in that ‘tiny ass kitchen’.”

Bucky felt something in his stomach when he heard her laugh like that. Not only was it sweet, but he was the cause of it. He was the cause of bringing that smile to her face. “How do you have the time?”

“I don’t,” she told him, still laughing without a shred of embarrassment. “But I make it. Whether it means losing some shut eye or not – the nurses are willing to pay me to make stuff for their kids’ bake sales.”

Bucky pushed the cart, absolutely dumbfounded by this woman. She had no superpowers, no abilities, and no reason to be such a good person. And yet here she was. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as good as you.”

Y/N laughed again, shaking her head. “I’m just trying to do my best, Buck. Whatever that is.”

Silence fell as they rounded the corner and went towards the cold section. Y/N was immediately rubbing her hands together, oblivious to the fact that Bucky was watching her. He wanted to tell her more, talk to her more.

“I also like goats.”

Y/N whipped her head around, already smiling at that new detail. “Goats? Is there a story behind this?”

“Um…after the Accords I went to Wakanda and that’s where I met Shuri. She’s the princess there…Really good kid. You’d like her. And…”

Bucky continued with his story. His movements became more animated and relaxed as she listened to him. It was a side of Bucky she never could have predicted. But it seemed the more time she spent with him, the more she realized there was a lot about Bucky she couldn’t predict. And a lot more that she wanted to find out.

-.-.-

After grocery shopping and finally dropping everything off at the apartment, Bucky insisted on taking Y/N out for food. It was a weird moment for him. Normally he stayed in, avoiding eyes and people that were far too curious. But this time that wasn’t the case. He actually wanted to be out. He wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to be seen with Y/N or if he wanted to spoil her. Maybe it was a mix of the two.

“Here’s your order,” the waitress said, placing two burgers, fries, and two shakes on the table.

Y/N thanked her, looking around at the quaint little diner. How did Bucky find this place? “I feel like we’re going to be caught in this endless cycle of being too nice to each other,” she joked, taking a fry. She dipped it in her shake and took a bite, smiling when she saw that look of complete confusion on his face. Had he even heard what she just said? “Try it before you judge.”

Bucky snorted, but did as she said. What he didn’t expect was to actually enjoy it. And judging by the highly entertained look on her face, he wasn’t exactly hiding it.

“Exactly. So quit your judging.”

They were so at ease with each other. It felt like they’d known one another for years. “So…you asked me questions earlier. Can I ask you now?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment before forcing herself to relax. It was Bucky. What was the worst thing he could ask? “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“…Why did you and Andie’s dad get a divorce?”

Y/N’s whole body froze when she heard that question. This was why she didn’t make new friends. New friends asked personal questions. New friends asked about that damn ex-husband of hers. But Bucky meant well…She was sure he did. She had to remember that he was from a time when divorce just wasn’t done.

And she was from a time when it was always done.

“Well…” Wow, things felt heavy. Her chest felt tight.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky murmured. He leaned forward when he noticed how quickly her body language changed. “I didn’t want to upset you. Or bring up bad memories. I just…” His tongue ran across his lip as he struggled to find the words. Why was he always stumbling? Why was he always at a loss for words? “I was raised in a time where marriage was it. You were stuck with it. And even though Hydra brainwashed me, it became one of those things that was kind of ingrained in my beliefs. Even when I didn’t know what those were.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I was curious what would bring someone to end a relationship when they’re supposed to be in love.”

“Abuse.”

Bucky looked up, fixating on her features. There was only one tear, already fallen and gone. Strands of her hair fell in front of her face. She looked raw. His whole body was rigid as he repeated that one word in his head. Abuse. Who the fuck would abuse her? Who would be such a coward? She wasn’t a superhero. She wasn’t like him. Or a soldier or anything like that. She didn’t have a job that deserved cruelty. So why…? Bucky clenched his jaw at the sharp pain from his hair, realizing he’d been pulling because of his anger.

“Do you want the whole story?”

“You – Y/N, you’re under no obligation to share that with me.”

“I know,” she told him with the smallest nod. “I’m very well aware of that. And if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn’t. But I’m sitting across from a man who lived with seventy years of abuse. If anyone would get it, I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

He slumped in his chair, surprised that she would trust him with something like this. There was something about this that made him feel…pride? Confidence? Of all the people to trust, she was choosing him. And he never would have expected it. He never would have had the guts to believe it. Though first, he had to ask, “Did he hurt Andie?”

“Hell no.” The words were held with nothing less than total conviction. “I divorced him before he got the chance.”

“Why do I feel like there’s more to the story than that?”

“’Cause there is? My ex…” She picked at her food, suddenly losing her appetite. “God, he knew how to work the system. Played it like a game. He was verbally and emotionally abusive…Never touched me hard enough to leave a bruise. Just enough to make a point or get me scared.”

Silence passed for a few minutes. Bucky watched her, willing to listen to anything she had to tell him. But just like any of the Avengers, that wall that she had torn down came right back up just as quick.

She shrugged, taking a sip of her water. Her stomach lurched. She felt sick. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” Bucky bit his lip, reaching across the table. His hand found her arm, squeezing gently. Learning about this, he had so much more to ask. Why would Andie try to see her dad? Why did Y/N wait till Andie was three?

“You’re not the first person to give me that look, you know,” Y/N murmured. A hollow laugh slipped free. She pulled her arm away from his grip, ignoring how comforting it felt. She hugged herself. “Part of my marriage included isolating me from my family. I was nineteen when we got married, so I didn’t know any better. God, I was so naïve. I was practically brainwashed into believing that was how marriage was supposed to be. I didn’t know any better and – “ She faltered, realizing what she had said. “I’m sorry, that was really tacky. I could’ve chosen a better word.”

Bucky frowned. What was she talking about? Oh. He chuckled, shaking his head. “If brainwashing is a good word to describe what you went through, then use it. You’re not hurting my feelings.”

She smiled ever so slightly. It hurt to see her like this. Looking so broken. Taking a shaky breath, she looked around at the near empty diner. The few people that were there weren’t paying attention to them. It was comforting. She felt like she could confide in him even with where they were. “I didn’t really care what he was doing to me, you know? I was numb after five years. I didn’t talk to anyone outside of his friends. It was just my life. But then I got pregnant with Andie. And he changed. He started treating me better…like I was a person instead of property.”

Bucky’s hands clenched on his thighs. Everything in his body wanted to move next to Y/N, to hug her and let her know that nothing that happened was right. But the way she talked about it? He knew she was aware. He knew she wasn’t that same girl anymore. God, how different would things have been if they had met all those years ago? “What changed?”

“I think actually having Andie burst some bubble of his. The reality of a daughter? Especially a mutant showing their abilities so young? He wasn’t prepared for it and,” she shrugged again, defeated. “He blamed me for her having a gift. I didn’t even care that she did, but when I reminded him that it was the male’s genetics that determined someone being a boy or girl? Someone being a mutant? That was when things went back to what I was used to. He didn’t drink or anything, but he was…so angry. And I wasn’t going to put her through that. She had just turned three and I filed. So then he threatened to take her from me.”

Bucky’s heart sank. How much of this was a reality for other women? How many women had to be as strong as Y/N? How many chose to stay? How many weren’t even able to make a choice? “How,” His voice caught in his throat. “How did you get him to…”

“To leave us alone?” He nodded, at a complete loss for words. “He doesn’t have to pay child support. And I have complete control of visitation rights. It mattered once, but not so much now. Andie…she wants a relationship, but it’ll never happen.”

Bucky ran a hand over his face, trying to wrap his head around everything. She gave up child support and was taking care of a kid while living in New York. On her own. Wow. He scratched his jaw, unable to wrap his mind around how someone could go through all of that. It was a different type of torture. Bewildered, he asked, “Why would she even want to see him?”

“Because he remarried,” she sighed. “And he has two boys. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely honest with my daughter about everything involving her father. I have raised her to be able to defend herself no matter what. She is very aware of everything.” Y/N hesitated, only able to imagine what could have gone on in Andie’s head the day her dad refused to meet her. “But she has a father who has no interest in meeting her because of things out of her control. He raises two boys and, from what I know, he loves them and his wife. He treats his new family great. At thirty-five, I still can’t help the sting I feel from that. I can only imagine what she feels.”

“She’s an awesome kid.”

Y/N laughed, tears welling in her eyes. “Yeah, I know. And she’s been wanting to meet him since she was eight. She’s been wanting to meet her brothers for just as long, but…”

“He won’t let her.”

It was a statement, not a question. He didn’t need to ask because the answer was so irritatingly obvious. What an ass. Andie was sneaking out to see what she was missing. She was trying to create a relationship with someone who didn’t want her. The thought of that, the realization, made him sick to his stomach.

Y/N let out a sharp exhale, realizing how heavy things had gotten. She had shared her story, sure, but normally in bits and pieces. It wasn’t normally such word vomit. “I can’t believe I told you all of that. It is nothing like what you went through.”

“Don’t start with all of that,” Bucky argued, shocking her into silence. “Trauma is trauma. Nothing makes what you and Andie went through any less valid. And you can’t argue. ‘Cause I’m the Winter Soldier and who better to ‘get it’ than me?”

She laughed at that, a hint of a smile reappearing when he threw her words back around. Oh, how surprising this man was. Taking a sip of her drink, she asked, “You are unnaturally kind, you realize that, right?”

“Or maybe I’m just less of a dick than the guys you spend time with.”

Y/N snorted, choking on her water and falling into a coughing fit as Bucky winced. Maybe that was too far? “That was great,” she told him, wiping away the tears that had fallen before.

In only seconds, she looked completely different. No longer broken. Any tension that had been there was gone. She was already moving on from it. Maybe that was because she already had eight years behind her.

Leaning back in her seat, she checked her phone. “I need to go get Andie from school.”

Bucky nodded, pulling out his wallet and dropping a couple twenties. “Do you want company?”

She smiled as they stood and made their way outside. As weird as it was to share something like picking Andie up, Y/N found herself wanting to. Andie liked Bucky. And Y/N felt like she could trust him. Especially after confiding everything to him. Honestly, she told him, “I would really like that.”

“Then lead the way.”

And she did. Her hand reached down and grabbed his, immediately catching Bucky’s attention and sending him on alert. He expected her to let go at some point, only making sure he stuck by through the crowds. And while he did his best to follow the route, memorizing it in case he would one day get Andie on his own, he was absolutely giddy.

She never let go of his hand.

-.-.-

That night, Tony was working late in the lab as always. While tinkering away at his suit, he had a hologram of a few documents pulled up. He was passively studying, something absolutely normal for him. It helped him focus. At least, that was the excuse he was giving himself. He preferred this sort of thing after all. But what he hadn’t been expecting was F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerting him of someone else’s arrival.

He looked up, swiping away the reports he’d been memorizing. Fixating back on the suit, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He shoved a hand in his pocket, the other nervously running through his hair. He didn’t like the idea of coming to Tony for a favor. He really didn’t. It isn’t for you. It’s for Andie and Y/N. “You like Andie and her mom, right?”

Tony glanced up, lifting the goggles and propping them on his head. “Yeah. Y/N seems like a good mom and Andie’s been a riot ever since I met her.” He pushed the chair he sat in, rolling across the floor and landing at his desk. He set the tools down and rose to his feet, wiping his hands clean on his pants. He could always buy another pair. “Why, what’s up?”

“I have a favor to ask…”

Tony leaned against his desk. “For them? Name it.”

And Bucky did. He described everything he felt Tony needed to know. He knew the Stark had a big heart, witnessed how he had taken Peter under his wing. He wanted to do something similar for these two. And judging by the look on Tony’s face, he was more than willing.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List:

@mr-robot-x @lets--be-honest @buckyssoul @purplekitten30 @amnahs9695 @booktease21 @niahmariec

#bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #us and andie #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #marvel au

110 notes · View notes