#this is actually an incredibly fair point though. however.
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You stan Octavian I don't think you get an opinion on what's considered "bad" 😂
fair point actually. i think i'm going to log out forever and cry into my cat, and then continue my life completely offline. i've been completely and utterly owned. how am i going to recover
#mango japery#anonymous#APOLOGIES TO ANSWER THE ANON i just think this is incredibly funny#this is actually an incredibly fair point though. however.#i love bad things. what can i say.#i'm simply incredibly choosy on what bad things i like#such as critical reimaginings of four-letter red-synonym-themed acronym that should not be named#important thing to mention is that i personally didn't read tsats myself (a friend did)#also from what i heard about the nico & will relationship stuff it was REALLY cute#absolutely no notes. i'm going to pretend all of the nico & will stuff was good#because i didn't see it so i can simply choose my own adventure#that's the great part about not reading the source material
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SEVEN METER -INUMAKI TOGE
“Inumaki Toge had given up on his dream of being able to verbally confess to the person he liked years ago.”
By the time Inumaki turned ten, he fully accepted the fact that he would live his life without anyone fully understanding what he wanted to say.
It was a bit lonely at first, to see everyone around him besides his family talk freely, but he had no other life to compare it to.
By the time he was seventeen, the dream had fell into the furthest corner in the back of his mind, hardly ever remembering it being a thought until you, the new second year student, revealed your technique to him during training.
“Freeze.” His command sounded different off his tongue, but he didn’t notice it right away.
When you kicked your legs out anyway, forcing him off balance and throwing him to the ground, then he realized something was off.
Inumaki’s cheek was in the grass, his arm pinned to his back as your legs stopped him from twisting. From the corner of his eye, he stared at you in confusion, and a bit of admiration.
“It’s my cursed technique.” You couldn’t help the grin on your face. “It stops all techniques in a seven meter radius.”
You step off of him, giving him your hand to help him get up. He takes it, his lips parted slightly in shock.
“I know, I’m sorry.” You help dust some dirt off his shoulder. “You could’ve spoken to me without having to limit your vocabulary when you first met me yesterday, but I wanted to surprise you.”
You wait as he takes the information in, his mind trailing with possibilities, trying to figure out what his first real words would be to you.
“It’s… okay.” He settles on, feeling as though he was attempting another language.
“Here, let’s go again.” You smile. “It’ll be fair this time.”
From that point on, Inumaki couldn’t deny he felt a slight attachment to you. After all, he could talk freely to you and not worry about hurting you.
It was an adjustment, to be sure. He wasn’t used to the sound of his own voice using so many words at a time, and that his throat didn’t hurt when he did.
At the same time, you found yourself at his side as well. He smiled more when you were in the room, and you believed it was because he had someone he could now actually talk to.
Everyone else, however, read into it a different way.
Gojo was convinced you two were both in love with each other, constantly setting you up together in sparring work and putting you on missions together. Maki, Panda, and even Yuuta teased him relentlessly, desperately trying to get the boy to admit he had a crush on you.
Sure, you might’ve been powerful, hard working, and one of the prettiest people Inumaki had ever had the pleasure of seeing, but that didn’t mean he had a crush on you.
Besides, even if Inumaki did, personal feelings was the last thing you wanted to get mixed up in. You had made that crystal clear on your very first day, practically skipping onto Jujitsu High, brimming with determination that rivaled Maki.
Your cursed technique was incredibly useful, but it was still messy. You were hoping to learn to control it better, as well as improve your combat skills. After all, you had people to save, and things like romance didn’t fare well with jujitsu sorcerers.
Even you couldn’t deny, though, there was definitely something going on between you and Inumaki.
You were always training, eating, or even sleeping together. In class, your seats were always together, and he’d whisper commentary about Gojo-Sensei’s weird teaching that would have you covering your mouth to conceal your laughter.
By the time you both had turned eighteen, your classmates had truly had enough.
“Can you two just kiss already?” Maki’s face twisted as she complained, eyeing her friends were practically on top of each other on the couch in the common room.
You removed your legs from Toge’s lap, immediately missing how he drew circles on your knees.
“Honestly, I think you two actually making out in front of us instead of the constant heart eyes would be less intimate.” Megumi suddenly joins the conversation, Itadori nodding in agreement beside him.
Your eyes slightly widen in surprise, and you don’t have to look at Toge to know he’s flushed red.
“Bonito flakes.” He pouts, crossing his arms and shrinking into his hoodie.
“Oh, come on.” Nobara groans, throwing her head against her armchair. “This is borderline annoying.”
“I’m loosing money, you know.” Maki’s grinning a bit now. “We should lock them in a closet or something.”
“No, no.” You say quickly. “You people are insane.”
“And you’re boring.” Nobara whines.
Itadori whispers something to Megumi, and he looks at him quizzically. Nobara must have overheard it, because she’s howling with laughter.
“What?” Maki pries.
“Yuuji thought they were already together.” She says in between gasps.
Toge fully hides his face in his hands, but you can see bits of reddened skin between his fingers.
Luckily, Panda comes back with a few snacks a few minutes later, and the topic changes. The group decides to watch a movie, and for the first time, you try your best to not fall asleep on Toge’s shoulder.
Still, it’s past midnight when the movies credits begin to roll, and your head feels heavy. Your blinks are longer, and you rest your face against the head of the loveseat.
Silently, Toge watches you carefully. You’re fighting (and failing) to stay awake, and your face is scrunched slightly.
The two of you are the only people still awake, Maki was using Panda as a pillow, and the three underclassmen were sleeping on top of each other.
Toge pokes your face, and you snap up. There’s a coy smile on his lips, and you can’t bring yourself to be mad at him.
“What?” You whisper.
He shrugs, a bit worried about speaking with so many people in the room.
“It’s okay, I’ve gotten good at it.” You reassure. You had mastered it last month, being able to target one individual and force them to not have any cursed techniques. Only downside was using it for an extended time would make you pass out.
He nods a bit shyly before swallowing. “That movie was ass.”
You laugh sharply, nodding in agreement. “I’m not sure why we let Itadori pick anymore.”
At his name, the boy in question let out a guttural snore, and you and Toge couldn’t contain your giggles.
“C’mon.” You push him up. “We’re going to wake them up.”
Still holding back your laughter, the two of you ran hand in hand down the hallway and up the stairs.
From the other side of the stairs, you could hear footsteps trotting closer to you. Before you heard his footsteps, you felt his cursed energy. Quickly, you enabled your own technique to hide your and Toge’s trails, holding onto his shoulder to stop his movements.
Realistically, Gojo probably wouldn’t give two shits that you were out past curfew, but on the off chance that he did, you didn’t want to serve detention with him again.
The last time, he had left you in the classroom overnight because he had locked the door and forgot you were there. You had to climb out of the window to get out.
You pulled Toge under the stairwell, unintentionally gripping onto him with both hands. His arms were comfortably wrapped around your waist, and he was grinning ear to ear.
Gojo started to whistle incredibly off key as he walked, and the you made the mistake of making eye contact with Toge as he did.
“Shh!” You covered his mouth with your hand, but you were still laughing. In response, he covers your mouth as well, and you still don’t realize you’re practically nose to nose.
The both of you are still giddy, shushing laughs that are a bit too loud for you to not get caught. You can’t pull away from his eyes, and your mouth parts slightly.
Before you can think about it, you press your lips to his, ceasing the rare opportunity of the boys chin above his jacket.
He giggles into the kiss, holding your face in his hands. You grin, and your teeth graze his lip. He gasps, and your hands grip onto his shirt.
Toge presses harder into you, and you stagger back into the wall. You’re suddenly familiar with how he tastes, and it’s an addiction you cannot want to be used to.
Inumaki Toge had given up on his dream of being able to verbally confess to the person he liked years ago. But, there you were, staring up at him with pretty eyes and a smile that knocked the wind out of him, and the words ‘I love you’ were so so simple to say.
#inumaki drabbles#inumaki texts#inumaki smau#inumaki fluff#inumaki x y/n#inumaki x you#jujutsu kaisen inumaki#inumaki x reader#jjk inumaki#inumaki toge#toge inumaki#toge smau#toge smut#inumaki toge smut#jjk smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff
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ASK COMPILATION #385032: Shape-shifting genitals, mouth-mashing skillsets, who taps out first in the bedroom and the 17 different types of meat this guy eats.
I TRIED TO MAKE THIS A BIG ONE. Thank you everybody for your patience!
The truth of the matter is that I need one dramatic light-source or I will perish. HOWEVER...
Yeah, they seem the type to leave it purposefully ajar for the thrill of it. As well as the excuse to bring hell down upon anyone caught trying to steal a peek.
YES, actually! I've had the concept for a comic or two that's precisely about interactions they've had while younger. Comics take a lot of work, and there's a LOT of things I want to do, but that is definitely in the plans.
Yes! Or rather, as a shapeshifter, I believe she doesn't bother with them 99% of the time, possibly never, even though she has the habitability to form them if she so wished. The Orin DU drow knew was always doll-like in appearance when nude, and he did not particularly mind it or fantasized about anything different.
I believe this is both a preference in Orin's part (and across many shapeshifters, if I recall correctly) as well as a strategic choice.
And thank you so much!
[MORE BELOW THE CUT]
I don't know, kissing isn't that hard LOL I think they're pretty even-leveled in technique but Astarion is the tonguier one.
ALL IN DUE TIME, MY FRIEND, ALL IN DUE TIME...
Maybe 😊 🤫though I'm not sure how useful his powers would be in that context.
That said, Indeed! The irony of this match isn't lost on anyone. I'm sure Astarion would have some thoughts about the convenience of it.
I know this is more of a jokey message, but I don't think Astarion would be cool with that sort of thing, and DU drow most definitely wouldn't ask 😂
Whatever works, as he would probably say!
Astarion got drunk through DU drow on occasion while he still fed on him, yes LOL I don't care if that makes sense or not, It's a hysterical concept and definitely factual in my canon. To be fair as well, DU drow is a huge man and has to drink a LOT to get properly wasted - so Astarion wouldn't have to consume a whole lot from him to get on a similar level!
Post a few particular post-campaign events, Astarion gets drunk through strangers' blood that were either piss-drunk already or have been fed alcohol forcibly by the pair.
He likes thick stews, braised pork, and meat-pies the most. Don't ask me when or why I've decided this but he likes octupi as a every-once-in-a-while treat - I think he mostly enjoys the experience of eating it more than the taste.
For drinks, he likes beer, red semi-dry wine, and mead the most. He also likes a GOOD whisky - none of the copper-coin garbage they serve at most Inns.
Hi! Incredible question. DU drow can go indefinitely but when he stops he knocks out in record speed. There usually comes a point where Astarion flops over and lets him do all the work.
You know how, shortly after you find out about it, if you tell Astarion that you're frightened of your origins you get that really heartfelt bit of dialogue about how yourself and him are so much alike, and how he feels similarly powerless before Cazador as you do toward your father? Well, I never got that, because DU drow was too busy squinting into the horizon and contemplating the logistics of his conception which prompts Astarion to, essentially, say something along the lines of "Okay, if all you want to do is discuss your dad's cum I'm out"
So, like that.
They didn't smash in the graveyard! I'm hoping to either write a short thing about it, draw something inspired by how the scene went down in my head, or, ideally, both!
That IS kind of a wild comparison but I'm guessing you know about my origins, LOL.
Not... Quite. I'm reluctant to say more because I would like for it to be a surprise that I bring you all through art (even if you can make a pretty accurate deduction based on what has been said so far) but suffice to say that this is the flipside to the Bhaalist DU drow AU.
I don't think I could find the time 😭😭😭 but that's a hysterical idea and I would gladly mash together a bunch of clips if someone else was willing to highlight them!
Hello and thank YOU for humoring me in my nerdy little forays!
I hadn't heard about Model/Actriz but I had a little sneak-peek and, indeed, this might just be right up my alley LOL
It's hard for me to remove these characters from their intended universe so I have a difficult time picturing what they would listen to if the options didn't all sound like string-y bardcore music. I'm sure there are more genres to speak of in DnD lore, I'm just ignorant of them!
That said I do have some thoughts about which of them even enjoy music at all.
REALLY enjoys music: DU drow, Jaheira, Misc, Karlach, Wyll.
Modestly enjoys music: Gale, Shadowheart, Minthara, Halsin.
Generally doesn't enjoy music: Astarion, Lae'zel.
No notes just canonical character information being shared
I forgot what this one was in reference to for a moment and I was so aghast.
I really, really hope you weren't hoping for me to give you work-out advice because both, if you were, you've come to the wrong man.
But if you're just wondering about lore here, I think it's a solid 50/50. I think he's predisposed to a really well-built physique because Daddy Bhaal said so AND he's incredibly active and incidentally does a lot of manual labor. If he's had a few too many sedentary days in a row (which is rare) he pretty much has to tire himself through at-home routines or he goes a little cuckoo-bananas as well.
And thank you for being interested in my little freak!
He's pretty thoroughly desensitized, and thinks far too little of Orcs and half-orcs to be intimidated by them, even when that lack of fear is downright stupid. He's not impervious to fear, however, despite how hard he tries to be - Myrkhul, Grym, the giant Steelwatch, the brain, and even Cazador AFTER he snatched Astarion away were all encounters that made his blood run cold to varying degrees. I think it takes an unfamiliar foe for his sweat to run a little cold.
(Ironically, Raphael had no such effect on him.)
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Half a Pill
(Original story posted December 11th 2021 and December 17th 2021) Minor Edits and Corrections
This story was originally split up into two parts and posted separately. This time however I’ve decided to reupload both parts as one story for an easier reading experience. I’ve also updated the model for part 1.
(Part 1)
James and Cain had been together for just over 3 years. They’d always seemed to have such a great relationship and usually got on super well. They just loved spending time together. It was as if the honeymoon phase of their relationship had never ended.
However James began to feel a bit uneasy after Cain’s mum got together with a new fella named Dave. She only dated him for a few months before he proposed to her and the two got married! But that wasn’t what worried James. It was that he’d begun to notice his boyfriend’s eyes towards his new Step-Dad every now and then. And not in an appropriate way. Scanning over the older man’s body. Gazing at his bulge. But if James ever asked, he already knew Cain would deny it. Not that he needed to ask. It was obvious Cain had a crush for the older man.
However despite this, James knew Cain would never do anything to betray him… but that didn’t stop him from feeling a little uneasy. He couldn’t just ignore the fact that his boyfriend was very clearly checking out his own Step-Dad on a regular basis. Though to be fair James couldn’t totally blame him. Dave was an incredibly hot mature man and even James had found himself stealing a couple glances at the man here and there.
Even after a year of this, James was still trying to come to terms with the situation. This is until one day when something seemingly impossible happened.
One of James’ friends Kyle had called him into the office building Kyle worked at and told him about this strange pill he got from an old woman claiming to be a Witch. Apparently the pill was imbuded with powerful magic that would only work if the pill was broken in half. To activate its power, two individuals must each consume one half of the pill. Once they do, they’ll trade bodies!
Of course neither of them actually believed it was real but Kyle decided he was gonna try it for a laugh if anything else. James watched as Kyle cracked the pill in half before eyeing another man in the office. Ryan. He’d been Kyle’s work crush for a while now and James knew all about it. Kyle carefully slipped one half into Ryan’s coffee taking the other half of the pill himself.
James was stunned when moments after Ryan had taken a gulp of his coffee, both his and Kyle's eyes rolled back as their bodies jittered and convulsed for a good few moments. It soon subsided but James could immediately tell the man before him was no longer his friend Kyle but rather Ryan in his body!
Ryan began freaking out for a moment before seeing his own body burst into the small office, now piloted by Kyle. It was clear Kyle was ecstatic with his new body as he ran his hands over Ryan’s dress shirt, feeling his new perfectly sculpted body underneath.
“HEY!… W-WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!… Y-y-you look like… ME!?” Ryan exclaimed in shock as he looked up at his former body. Then glancing down at himself to see a pudgy body that certainly didn’t belong to him.
“Fuuuck yeah I do.” Kyle smirked triumphantly, still rather shocked himself that the pill was real after all. “Mmmm… I can’t believe that actually worked! Fuuuuu…” Kyle groaned to himself as he groped his crotch, feeling Ryan’s thick cock starting to harden.
The three men then spent the next half an hour figuring things out. James tried to keep Ryan from having an emotional outburst over his body being stolen however it didn’t help when Kyle just wouldn't stop feeling himself up. He even undid his belt and dropped his suit pants at one point to get a better look at his new ass. The one he once thirsted after and Ryan once owned. Now belonging to Kyle. He just loved how toned it was. Only pulling his pants back on after when James told him to stop being a dick.
James told Ryan that he would try his best to help him get back his original body (bit of a lie) but for now he’d have to pretend to be Kyle. Ryan agreed reluctantly, glaring at Kyle before telling him to not fuck up his body. With that James walked Ryan out of the tiny office and into the hallway. He gave Ryan directions to Kyle's home along with a pair of keys before sending the apprehensive man on his way.
When James stepped back into the small office however he was greeted by a sight that both shocked and annoyed him… and also kinda turned him on? There stood Kyle in the middle of the room, zipper undone yet again and holding Ryan’s hard pulsing cock in his hand.
“Jesus dude! Really?!” James said in a disappointed tone. “Can you not keep your pants on for just 5 minutes??”
“Hey sorry! I couldn’t help it. Ryan is sooo fuckin hot and being in his body is making me soooooo horny…” Kyle started pumping his new uncut cock, a look of glee plastered on his face.
James found himself just staring at the man jerking off for a good few seconds before he snapped outta it. “Could you at least do that in the bathroom where nobody could just walk in and see you?” He begged, pretending as though his eyes weren’t glued to the other man’s stolen cock as a small glob of precum dripped from the tip.
Kyle looked James up and down with a grin, still pumping away. “Well if you got over here and sucked me off, maybe I could cum a little quicker.”
James was a little taken off guard by the offer. Yet he couldn't help but eye up Ryan’s cock that Kyle was enjoying making his own. It looked so thick… and juicy… and delicious. Just the thought of wrapping his lips around it seemed heavenly.
He watched as Kyle squeezed along the shaft up to the tip, forcing out another drip of precum. James wanted to taste it so badly but he knew he shouldn't. He was with Cain for fuck sake! After being so jealous over his boyfriend’s wandering eye towards that step dad of his, he’d be a complete hypocrite to give into his own desires here right?!
His mouth was slightly agape, eyes darting between Kyle's smirking face and hard cock as Kyle stepped over to James. “Don’t worry. This can just be between you and me.” He sniggered before pressing down on James’ shoulder. James’ gave in and let the man push him down onto his knees, putting him on eye level with that thick 8 inch cock. Kyle gently slapped James across the face with his rod a couple times before until the latter simply couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He grasped the base of Kyle's shaft firmly against his suit pants before going down on the pulsing cock aggressively, earning a very satisfied grunt from Kyle.
“Fuuuck! You’ve wanted to do this for a while as well haven't you?” Kyle laughed, loving how sensitive his new cock was. James’ didn’t respond as he focused on sucking, his eyes wide as he took as much down his throat as possible. How could he not want it? Before this Kyle would never shut up about how hit Ryan was. Always sending pictures of the handsome man. Now Kyle had his body and cock… it was too much for James to resist.
He continued to work the cock well, giving Kyle one of the best blowjobs he’d ever received. James was sucking so passionately and intensely that within just 5 minutes Kyle was already getting ready to bust.
Kyle held James’ head down on his cock. “Oohh I’m gonna fuckin cum!” He almost yelled before remembering they didn’t wanna draw too much attention. He thrust his hips forwards as his whole body tensed for a moment. There was then a long and stifled groan before Kyle emptied Ryan’s heavy balls down James’ throat. James sucked and swallowed every last drop of cum eagerly until those balls had nothing left.
At last James’ pulled away before falling back slightly, allowing Kyle to finally see the bulging outline of James’ dick pressing and bucking against his jeans. Smiling Kyle got down on his knees as well and began rubbing his hand across James’ bulge. He bent down, kissing the dick outline between rubbing and squeezing it until before long James let out a very sudden grunt. Kyle felt the cock spasm under his hand. Moments after a sticky, wet stain appeared on the crotch on James’ jeans. Quite an impressive load to get all the way through those.
The two laid on the office floor for a moment, unsure of what they should do now. It was just then hitting James what he’d done. What was he thinking!? He’d cheated on Cain!! The dread of it was quickly starting to set in.
As James’ mind pondered on the thought, Kyle got up and shoved his cock back in his pants before zipping up. “Hey man… I’ve got a pair of shorts in my bag if you wanna borrow them. I’m not sure how well they’re gonna fit me now with this body but they might fit you a little better.”
James barely paid notice to Kyle’s offer. “I just cheated on my boyfriend.” Those words felt as though they could’ve weighed 20 tons. Justhearing James say them made Kyle begin to feel pretty guilty about what they’d just done. After all… He only pushed James into it because he was horny.
Feeling terrible, Kyle went back to his desk and pulled something out of his draw before offering it over to James. “Here, have this. The woman gave me two pills. I don’t think I’m ever gonna leave Ryan’s body so I think you should take it. Maybe you or Cain could use it to… uhhh… spice things up?” He said awkwardly as he held out the pill.
James looked at Kyle, then at the pill. As horrible as he felt right now, he also remembered Cain’s wandering eye with his Step-Dad… though he had no right to get annoyed about that now. Maybe this pill could actually help them with their relationship. Get it back on track somehow.
“Fine… but do NOT mention to Cain what just happened.” James snatched the pill out of Kyle's hand, clearly guilt ridden. They proceeded to clean themselves up a bit, James changing his jeans for a pair of Kyle's shorts as the former suggested. They awkwardly said goodbye to one another as James stuffed the pill in his jacket pocket.
James exited the office building, trying not to think too hard about what he just did. Instead he tried to focus on the pill in his pocket and how he was gonna use it. Or who he was gonna use it on…
———
(Part 2)
It’d been a couple days since what happened with Kyle at the office. Of course Kyle still had Ryan’s body and Ryan had been making a few scenes both in and out of the office. Still clearly upset about Kyle stealing his body. On the other hand, from what James could tell from their messages and interactions, Kyle couldn’t have been happier. Apparently he’d been constantly jerking off to his reflection and had already hooked up with a few guys. Living the dream it sounded.
James couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Ryan but there wasn’t much that could be done now. There was no way Kyle was gonna let them swap back. However there was something else that had been weighing on James’ mind a lot.
Since Kyle had given him that pill when he… cheated… it’s all been he’s been able to think about. He always had the pill with him either in his pocket or bag. He saw a couple guys out and about whom he thought he’d like to use it on but he just never tried it… and there was a reason for that.
That damn wandering eye Cain had for his Step Dad Dave.
Lately James was beginning to feel as though Cain looked at Dave more than he looked at him, his own boyfriend! The fact that Cain wouldn’t even admit that kinda made it worse. But then there was the pill. Looking at his current situation, James felt as though there was only one way to assure his boyfriend’s true love and affection.
It was a warm Monday evening. James and Cain had gone round to Cain’s mom’s house for dinner like she insisted at least once a week. Halfway through the meal however she got called into the hospital where she worked on an emergency. She apologised before leaving James and Cain to finish dinner with just Dave.
The couple were able to make decent conversation with Dave as they ate. Chatting about this and that as usual. However as always James could tell that Cain was enjoying this alone time with Dave a little too much. He watched while Cain’s eyes scanned over Dave’s pecs as they pressed against his tank top. At this point James probably would’ve pulled Cain aside to have a word with him if it wasn’t for what he did last week with Kyle. And so James did his best to suppress his jealousy until before long they’d all finished and taken their plates to the sink to be washed.
“Right lads, I’m gonna head through there and watch some football.” Dave announced as he leaned into the fridge to grab a beer. James rolled his eyes knowing that Cain’s were almost definitely plastered to Dave’s ass as he bent over. Although in fairness he’d be lying if he said he didn’t take a glance at it himself. Those red short shorts were certainly… fitting shall we say. “Feel free to come join me.” He added before sauntering off into the living room.
Cain was about to grab a beer for himself and follow when James grabbed his hand and finally pulled him aside. He whispered to Cain “Alright I know this is gonna sound crazy but I’ve got something I need to tell you…” Knowing he had Cain’s full attention, James went on to explain the whole situation with the pill. He explained how Kyle got them from a self proclaimed Witch before testing them on himself and a coworker. And that it actually worked!? Then going on to explain how the two were currently living each-overs lives and that it was a dream come true for Kyle! Though of course he left out the part about what did with Kyle.
Naturally Cain was extremely skeptical about it all. I mean body swapping and magic pills? It was crazy talk. But the look in James’ eyes… it looked so certain. So sincere. And so with some convincing, Cain decided to entertain his boyfriend and ask where he was going with this. Just then James pulls the pill out of his pocket before revealing his plan.
“I’ve spent the last few days pondering this. Wondering if it’d be something I’d want.. and I’m fairly certain it’s something you would want. I know you always try to tell me that you only have eyes for me but I’ve seen over and over again how you look at Dave.” He whispered.
It then started to click with Cain. He knew exactly what James was about to imply. “Wait… you’re not thinking of doing what I think you are… right?”
“As I said I’ve given it a lot of thought and have decided that… I think I’d be okay with it but only as long as you are. Besides, being 45 can’t be that bad right?” James smiled somewhat nervously.
And with that Cain’s suspicion was confirmed. James wanted to use this pill to swap with Dave!! The two went back and forth for about 20 minutes or so discussing this further deeper. Weighing out all the pros and cons before finally coming to a decision. Even though Cain was still very skeptical, James seemed very adamant on the fact that this pill was the real deal so he decided to trust him on it.
“Fine… fuck it. Let’s do it.” Cain stated. Even if this wasn’t real the idea of it all was still kinda arousing him. “So how are you gonna do it?”
James didn’t say anything at first, he simply walked over to the fridge before opening it and pulling out another beer. “Chances are he’s finished the one he took through there earlier so all we’ve gotta do is slip one half of the pill in here and let him drink it. Kyle put it in Ryan’s coffee and it still worked perfectly fine so why would this be any different?”
And so that’s what they did. Cain cracked open the beer as James snapped the pill in half. He dropped the pill into the alcoholic beverage and watched as it fizzed inside the bottle for a moment. A faint glow emitted from the pill as it quickly dissolved and became one with the drink. Once it was completely gone, the beer itself glowed momentarily before seemingly returning to normal. The couple looked at each other, Cain now slightly more inclined to believe this as James simply nodded before grabbing another beer outta the fridge for himself.
Dave was sat eagerly watching the game on TV. Just as the couple entered the room, whatever team Dave had been rooting for managed to score a point. “THAT’S IT BOYS! BRING IT FUCKIN HOME!” He exclaimed passionately before downing the last of his beer and letting out a loud belch. Hearing that not only made Cain’s cock twitch but also James’ cock too…
That man. That attractive mature man��� All that was about to be his.
“They doing good Dave?” Cain asked, causing the older man to whip his head around and chuckle.
“Yuuup, doing well tonight. So far anyway.” Dave chuckled before turning his attention back to the TV.
With that James made his way over to the couch before offering the spiked beer to Dave. “Here. Figured you might want another.” James smiled innocently.
Dave outstretched an arm and took the bottle graciously. “Well you figured right. Cheers James.”
As Dave sat central on the couch, James opted to sit to Dave’s left while Cain sat on his right. Moments after James pulled out his half of the pill before throwing it in his mouth and washing it down with his own beer. Now all they had to do was wait for Dave to drink up. And naturally that didn’t take long.
It might’ve been due to the pill being diluted in the beer but it took awhile for anything to happen. With every swig of beer that Dave took, James’ heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t until about half the bottle was gone that something actually started to occur.
Both Dave and James began to get the same funny feeling running through their skulls. It was like a constant pushing and pulling sensation until suddenly, they both began convulsing on the couch. Cain was of course worried but also weirdly excited because this was exactly how James described it happening with Kyle.
A moment or two passed and suddenly the two men stopped convulsing, slumping into their seats. Cain stood in front of them, not quite sure who to check on first. Thankfully that decision was made for him as Dave began to stir first. He groaned for a moment before his eyes suddenly shot open with a mix of shock and excitement.
Dave immediately looked down at himself and began rubbing his hands down his torso, massaging his thick beneath the tank top before giving his biceps a squeeze. “Fuuuuck yesss…” He groaned under his breath before slowly getting up from the couch, a look of wonder crossing his face.
Cain looks on in awe as he watches what seemed to be Dave trying to balance his body weight correctly. “James?… i-is that… you?” He asked nervously.
The older man gave him a large toothy grin. “The one and the only.” He stated confidently before bringing up his new arms for a double bicep flex, feeling those veins pop as he did. He might be older now but damn was he buff in all the right ways. “This feels… fuckin incredible!” He claimed, his voice sounding identical to how Dave spoke. Jame continued to flex, beginning to feel his new dad cock start to swell in Dave’s short shorts.
“I… I can’t believe this is actually real…” Cain muttered, still in shock as he watched what looked to be his hot step dad checking himself out and flexing his thick muscles as the bulge in his shorts continued to grow. “Can I feel your chest?” He asked hesitantly.
James smirked. He took a couple steps closer to Cain, arms at his side before bouncing his pecs a couple times. Cain reached up without hesitation, quickly grasping the two large muscle melons on his step dad’s chest. James absolutely loved the feeling. Not only of having such incredible pecs but also his boyfriend worshiping them. Cain kneaded them greedily before eventually sticking his face between them through the tank top.
“Fuuck I love the way you smell.” Cain blurted out when he was eventually able to pull away from James’ chest. As he did however he glanced over James’ shoulder to see that the real Dave looked to be waking at last.
Dave grabbed his head, immediately startled at the feeling of a lot more hair up there than there should’ve been. Not nearly as startled however as he was when he looked up to see none other than… himself!? Of course the real Dave began freaking the fuck out. He jumped up from the couch screaming and shouting about what happened to him and who the fuck this doppelgänger of him was. James and Cain tried their best to calm him down but Dave wasn’t having any of it. Especially as he began to figure out what had just happened. And so James ended up grabbing his former body and putting him into a headlock. Dave struggled but he was powerless against his own strength and muscle. After that it didn’t take long for him to fall back unconscious.
“Well…we can deal with that later I suppose.” Cain said as he watched James lay his former body down on the couch gently. “Let’s just hope Dave stays asleep long enough for us to enjoy this.”
“Dave? His name is James now. I’m the one you should be calling Dave from now on.” The new Dave claimed with a deep chuckle as he strutted back towards Cain. He lifted his arms back up, flexing those impressive biceps again. “Now start worshipping me. I know you want to.”
Cain did just that as he grabbed at Dave’s arms, feeling the bulge of muscle before taking turns kissing each arm. Shortly after relishing in that worship the new Dave lifted both arms up and placed his hands behind his head, exposing his pits. “Go on. I know you’re just dying to smell them.”
Cain pretty much leapt at the chance. Diving his face deep into those sweaty pits. Cain had dreamt of doing it ever since he first set eyes on Dave and now that built up desire was all flowing out all at once. He continued to inhale Dave’s pits aggressively as Dave himself laughed and groaned, loving every second of it.
Before long Cain seemed like he’d gone almost feral, uncontrollably shoving himself into Dave’s pits, frequently switching between them. As much as Dave was enjoying it however, he finally decided to grab Cain by his hair and pull him back, seeing his smaller boyfriends face covered in sweat as he panted.
Dave ordered Cain to undress himself and that’s exactly what he did. Cain stripped himself of his clothes, leaving him stood naked with a boner. Smiling again as he looked over Cain’s arousal, Dave grabbed a hold of the throbbing cock, giving it a few strokes and earning a couple moans from Cain. Dave then grabbed Cain’s hand before gently guiding it towards his crotch, placing Cain’s hand directly on his dick print. The smaller man rubbed over his ‘Step-Dad’s’ bulge, getting even more excited as he quickly came to realise just how much of a monster it really was.
Next thing they knew Dave was kicking off his shorts, leaving him in his underwear. Cain was more or less drooling by this point as he saw a bulging tent spring forwards in Dave’s underwear. Getting on his knees, Cain began kissing and worshiping the bulge while indulging further in Dave’s scent. It wasn’t long before he gripped the waistband and pulled down the underwear, being so horny he didn’t even ask permission before swallowing over half of the nine-incher before him.
“OOOoohh wow… that feels… in-fucking-credible!” Dave shouted as Cain got to work.
The original Dave slept soundly on the couch, unconscious and unaware that his former body was now gripping the back of his step-sons head and forcing him to choke on his cock. The new Dave made sure to push Cain as far down on his shaft as possible, being surprised not only by the sheer size of his new dad dick but also by how sensitive it was at his age. So much so that he had to pull Cain away from his rod when he felt precum start to leak out.
Moments after Dave sprawled himself out on the couch face down, having just enough room with his old body on the end. He sensually told Cain to get over here and worship his thick dad ass and that's exactly what Cain did. In a heartbeat the younger man had his face between Dave’s muscular cheeks, hungrily tasting his step dad’s hole. After a bit more worship via groping and smacking the beautiful ass before him, Cain lubed up his cock before pressing against Dave’s entrance.
Dave roared in both pain and pleasure as his virgin hole was penetrated. Cain opted to start slow so as not to hurt Dave too badly but as time went on he slowly but surely began to pick up the pace. Considering the old Dave never trained his ass to take dick, it was surprising how quick Dave’s ass adjusted to having cock stuffed inside it. Cain continued to pump in and out, still not being able to believe he was watching his hot step dad’s ass jiggling to the rhythm of his dick. It seemed like some kind of insane fever dream!
This must’ve gone on for nearly an hour as the two continuously swapped positions. Cain fucking the new Dave from soooo many different angles as he got to see his step dad in positions he could’ve only ever dreamed of seeing until today. Eventually they returned to doggy style however this time they were on the floor. Cain began to groan out saying he was about to cum. He pulled outta Dave’s ass and brought his pulsing rod straight up to the older man’s face before shoving in his mouth. Dave barely got a chance to suck on it before Cain burst his load into his mouth. A load that the daddy was very eager to swallow. Cain's cum tasted just as good as it did in his former body.
“Well now you’ve had your fun. Time to let me have mine.” Dave stated a stern almost fatherly tone as he picked himself up, licking a bit of cum off his lips. He grabbed Cain before leading him upstairs to the bedroom where he threw the man on the bed face down just as he’d been before.
From there Dave spent god knows how long fucking the life out of Cain with his huge dad cock. Cain's ass somehow taking every inch of it. Dave was able to get balls deep in that ass time and time again before, at last, he began to feel all his stored cum building up. With a few more mighty slaps of his balls against Cain's ass, Dave’s cock erupted inside him. What followed was a tidal wave of hot cum spilling inside Cain and filling him up to the brim.
“FUUCK YEAH!!! IM FUCKING DAVE NOW!” He roared through the orgasm.
———
- Months Later -
Cain and Dave had been through a lot in the past few months. First was dealing with the old Dave freaking out but eventually convincing him to go out and enjoy his new younger body.
Second was hiding this all from Cain’s mom which they did successfully for a couple weeks. The new Dave was able to pretend to be a loving husband to her while fucking his new step son whenever they got the chance. That is until one night the two of them fell asleep after sex only for Cain’s mom to walk into the bedroom later that night to see her ‘husband’ asleep with his dick inside her son's ass!
Then that leads onto issue number three. Cain and Dave now had to find somewhere else to live after they both got kicked out. It wasn’t easy at first but between them they were able to find an affordable place. After all that however, things finally seemed to have smoothed over for the most part.
Something that Dave had noticed though was his slight shift in personality. He found himself doing and saying some things the old Dave would’ve done. He even found himself drinking beers a lot and always letting out mighty belches afterwards like the original Dave would. One of the most notable changes though was his sudden affinity for sports. Before the swap he was barely interested in sport at all. After becoming Dave though, every other thought he had felt like it was about soccer and football. Half the time he’d try to get Cain to sit with him as we watched whatever game was on TV at the time. And that’s exactly what was happening right now.
They sat on the couch watching soccer as Cain began to get horny, like usual, and pulled down Dave’s pants. Still though Dave tried to keep paying half attention to the game as Cain was kissing and sniffing his cock and balls through his briefs. As his cock was worshiped, Dave couldn’t help but reflect a little. He’d traded his body for one 15 years older but there was no denying how fucking hot he was now. Not to mention that his boyfriend now only had eyes for him and only him. And the sex was leagues better than it ever was before!
On the other hand Dave did still feel bad about the whole cheating thing with Kyle and one day he knew he’d have to tell Cain about it. But that day wasn’t today. For now he could just enjoy his boy worshiping his body day in and day out.
#male body swap#male body theft#identity theft#mental change#age progression#young adult to middle aged#middle aged to young adult#step dad#dad and son#father and son#office swap#suited body swap#coworker body swap#step dad body swap#male age swap#male musk#magic#male tf#male transformation#male muscle theft
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For My Eyes Only
•• Tommy Shelby x Reader ••
Lingerie mood boards and headcanon requested by the lovely @runnning-outof-time
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• Although Tommy’s wardrobe (and everything else he owns) consists of nothing but black, grays, and the rare navy blue, you’re quite different. While his look is always somber, your look is always inviting, a mirroring of your personality, which is a lovely contrast to the vibe he gives off.
• It’s not extremely bright, flashy colors you choose, however, but deep, rich hues that portray elegance and sophistication. You always look nearly regal, down to the complimentary shade of your lipstick and nail polish.
• While one would assume Tommy’s preference on you would be black, he actually has a fondness for color whenever it’s on you. This extends to your everyday undergarments and lingerie, as well.
• Of course, Tommy absolutely loves seeing you in lingerie, and although you buy a bit on your own, he buys you something himself about once a month. It’s a decent mix of singular pieces (teddies, slips) and multi-piece sets (bra and panties, bra and panties with garter belt). At this point, you have quite the extensive collection of sensual garments, which of course, are only for Tommy to see you in.
• His absolute favorite colors on you are deep, emerald greens, rich, plum purples, and saturated, seductive reds. Tommy finds the richness of these colors and the vibrant contrast of the deep, jewel tones against your soft, fair skin an incredibly beautiful, tempting vision. It’s like paint against porcelain, and it’s his favorite sight.
• An addition of a touch of black is always a killer look, however, be it with a black lace edging or frills on the lingerie itself, or the accessory of some semi-sheer black thigh-high stockings with a lacy top hem. Add a pair of black heels, and you may as well start digging Tommy’s grave.
• Upon seeing you in lingerie, he will always behave in one of two ways, however, and you know what that will be, based on who chose your pieces. If you put on something he bought for you, Tommy will have no problem telling you exactly what he’s thinking. He’ll say you look absolutely stunning (which you do), and that he chose it because he knew instantly how incredible you would look in it. He’ll then tell you that you’re gorgeously sexy and downright irresistible, and will want to take his time enjoying the visual of you in the piece(s) before then equally enjoying removing it from you with a similar look of hungry desire. He unwraps you like a gift. He looks at you with such adoration and want, and he loves having you straddle him as he lays back in bed, looking up at you like a work of art.
• If you bought the piece(s), however, and surprise him, Tommy initially acts as if he’s disinterested and unaffected at the sight of you. It’s a harmless control thing, where his thought process is, “How dare you catch me off guard and rile me up when I wasn’t expecting it?” Of course, he secretly loves it, but it’s just that he always expects to be in control. You’ll saunter into the bedroom in what you’ve chosen or reveal yourself from beneath your robe in his home office, and he’ll keep a straight face and act unaffected when he looks up when you ask him what he thinks of your new purchase.
• While he acts unaffected and pretends to barely notice, it’s actually the complete opposite, though. Any time you surprise him with your own purchase, he’s even more aroused than usual, because he knows you’re asking for it.
• He’ll make you work for his reactions, though. You have to pretty shamelessly present yourself for him, and there have been plenty of times where you’ve had to climb into his lap in bed while he’s still pretending to read the paper, or straddling him in his desk chair and he’ll still make a phone call. Your breasts can be pressed into his chest and your lips devouring his neck and he still carries on as if he hardly notices you.
• You, of course, know this little game, and you always play along, and it isn’t until you start removing his clothes and have your hands on his cock that he finally starts showing signs of noticing you. He gradually becomes more interested in what you’re doing as he watches your every move, still saying nothing.
• It’s when your hand is grasping him and your mouth is hovering over his cock that he finally comments on your lingerie. “If you’re going to dress like a little slut, then you better act like one and put that cock in your mouth.” Of course, he knows you’re only his little slut, and he truthfully respects and worships you, but when you dare to get smart like this, you both know things are going to get dirty.
• When your mouth is around his cock, Tommy finally fully gives in, and the dirty talk continues as he watches you eagerly suck him. His hands alternate between threading aggressively through your hair and tugging at the hems and straps of your lingerie, while telling you what a naughty girl you are for buying it without his permission or input.
• When it’s something Tommy bought you, he typically will spend plenty of time adoring you and warming you up with foreplay while you still have the lingerie on. But then, as said before, he will undress you from it, unwrapping you like a gift before the main event. During these times, he’ll have you fully naked for sex.
• When it’s something you bought and surprised him with, however, the foreplay is limited to the blowjob you give Tommy, and there’s no warmup for you. After you’ve gotten him nearly ready to come, he’ll shove you off of him and then take control, holding you down as he quickly finds the best way to move your lingerie out of the way for him to fuck you. When you surprise him, the lingerie stays on during sex, with Tommy tearing it aside to access your pussy and pulling it away to reveal your breasts, but still keeping it on your body. After all, a little slut like you isn’t worth wasting time on before he helps himself to you.
• When it’s lingerie you surprise him with, you can expect rough, dirty sex from Tommy. He’s gonna punish you for taking him by surprise and remind you why that’s such a bad (good) idea.
• When it’s something he bought for you, you can expect to be admired and worshipped before he makes love to you with so much tenderness and affection, making sure you know how much he adores you.
• Both scenarios lead to downright amazing sex, just in very different ways. He’s always got you near tears by the end. If you surprised him, he’ll edge you repeatedly before finally letting you come. If he bought it for you, he’ll take his time working you up to the edge, and then he’ll push you right over.
• In both scenarios, Tommy is very affectionate with aftercare. Once it’s all said and done, you’re still his angel, and regardless of whether the sex was rough or sweet, he’s gonna take care of you afterwards. Lots of spooning, loving words of what a good girl you are whispered in your ear, telling you how well you took it all and how beautiful you are.
• Either way, it always ends with an, “I love you,” from him and a kiss on the top of your head. You say it back to him as you lay on top of his chest and you both relish in the afterglow.
• Needless to say, your lingerie is something that you both thoroughly enjoy.
• Thoroughly. 😉🔥
@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @allie131313 @febris-amatoria
@empatheticlove @hannibellector @fairytale07 @meister95 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree
@beastofburdenxo @aphroditeslover11 @galactict3a @lyarr24 @wild-rose-35
@judig92 @cillmurphyslover @ladyvenera @karah-bear @k1ng-l3on
@ceirinen @peskybinders @fuseburner @shaddixlife @neonpurplestars89-blog
@garrison-girl-08 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @emotionalcadaver @muhahaha303 @mostly-marvel-musings
@an-eclectic-of-mass-destruction @vervainandspritz @novashelby @wonderlanddreamer @teawonderfultea-blog1
@honeymoon8 @cardan-official @pkmonka @meadows5 @mamawiggers1980
@fmo166 @vastcapacity @mspookington-blog @fkmarrycill @sl-newsie
@mrs-bond @breakthestereo @shopgirl6us @myers-meadow @cillianbabe
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby headcanon#tommy shelby x you headcanon#tommy shelby smut#lingerie#lingerie headcanon
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The use of the twilight aesthetic in Ace Attorney
This somehow started with me thinking about Miles and Phoenix being THE star crossed lovers, but now here we are with a whole essay (with actual citations. You're welcome.). TLDR: Miles and Phoenix pined so hard for each other that their spirits have broken through the veil of space and time. One of my favourite additions to the Ace Attorney 'lore' made by the anime comes in Season 2, Episode 6. The episode is Miles Edgeworth centric, showing how he first 'became a Von Karma' (in a sense), and Phoenix's attempts to contact him when they were both in middle school. The ending of the episode in particular has always stuck out to me.
Here we have Miles thinking about Phoenix, who had 'helped him' earlier by delivering a message to him through a radio show song dedication. The song ultimately gave Miles the evidence he needed to win an argument with a woman at the mall (and saved a dog in the process). As we can see, the scene is set at dusk, or twilight.
Although this is also a really beautiful image, 'twilight' is an incredibly profound and intentional choice.
Now, I will spare you an entire ramble about wabi-sabi as a Japanese aesthetic (you can use here as a starting point though). Basically all you need to know is that it is arguably the most important cultural aesthetic, and means something like the beauty of transience and imperfection.
Twilight, or tasokare (誰そ彼), can be seen through these transient aesthetics. It's something you see a lot in traditional waka poetry, but permeates today through literature and cinema.
"About dusk, we can say that the main feeling is that of the colour of darkness and night. However, twilight is not merely the colour of darkness nor the colour night. That said it is not only the colour of day, nor the colour of light…The world that exists in the instant where it turns from day into night, the boundary of the instant where it enters darkness from light, isn’t there that the twilight world is? …Entering darkness from light, night from day, during that instant there is a world with a peculiar essence and subtle colours, which is what I think is the twilight world."
Izumi Kyouka, 1996. Tasogare no Aji. In Izumi Kyouka, ed. Tomomi Matsumura, 243-44. Tokyo: Center for the Japanese books.
Basically, twilight is all about that transient moment where boundaries drop. Relatedly, there's a supernatural association with it, like the crossing of a veil where the restrictions of 'space' and 'time' can be lifted. Most famously, in terms of modern example of this, take the scene in Your Name.
Admittedly, Your Name is where I was able to find the most analysis. To be fair, it really is a beautiful scene.
In classical Japanese tasokare does not simply indicate the dusk as an in-between period transitioning from day to night, but also a hybrid moment in which visible entities become invisible and hidden presences momentarily reveal themselves. The anxiety of the encounters that take place during this liminal time is emphasised by the expression of surprise - "who is that!" (dare da, are ha 誰だ、あれは) - which constitutes the origin of this term. Therefore, in kimi no na ha, the transfers between the human spirits take place at night during the oneiric activities of the protagonists, but the possibility of a real encounter is limited to the ephemeral time of dusk.
Andrea Castiglioni, 2019. From Your Name to Shin-Gojira. In Spirits and Animism in Contemporary Japan: The Invisible Empire, ed. Fabio Rambelli, 173.
"Tasokare” means “Who’s in the gloom,” and it’s where the word “gloaming” comes from. You know what “the gloaming” is, right? It’s twilight, when it’s neither day nor night. When the world blurs and you might encounter something not quite human.
Your Name, 2016.
Now, I don't believe you can call this a trope that's exclusively romantic. Though, clearly, it lends itself to that. It certainly conjures the feeling of profound pining, with just a moment of relief (after all, stories of tragic love stories between manifestations of the day and night are common across the entire planet).
Anyway, I hope this explains why, in the Ace Attorney anime, Phoenix turns around and stares, bewildered, as if he actually heard Miles call out to him despite their physical distance.
Funnily enough, they're even under the polaris star, which is also a theme in Your Name. But anyway, yes indeed I think this scene can be taken as Miles and Phoenix pining so hard for each other that their spirits have broken through the veil of space and time.
It's also just really beautiful symbolism, even if it's not 'canon' to the games. Considering the anime also gave them the whole 'gold chains of fate' aesthetic.
#They're in love your honour#star crossed lovers literally#ace attoreny#narumitsu#mitsunaru#gyakuten saiban#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#your name
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on the topic of joel's rivalry with scott; wasn't LL!scott's kill justified on Joel, though? I feel like since Joel created so much chaos, Scott wanting to kill him and actually doing so makes sense. and in Limited life, wasn't Scott killing Joel fair again, since Joel kept trying/killing Scott? genuinely curious! I'm also a Joel fan and I agree w/your point on scott, but I feel like, while it was frustrating for joel to die to scott like that, it made sense (?)
(I'm sorry anon because I trust that you are genuinely curious and I'm trying desperately to put aside my bewilderment because I strongly disagree haha, if I sound mean please just take it as me being a very passionate Joel enjoyer please...)
Joel didn't get a single kill on Scott in LimL. Did he lead the charge? Barely. Everyone was going after Scott by the time that Joel was as well. He was no more responsible for going after Scott than half the rest of the server. The only notable kill Joel has gotten on Scott was in DL and Scott never references back to it so it's not like he's holding a grudge from that, whatever his reasons are for labelling Joel as deserving of being killed pretty much 6 times in a row, 5 of which were him, resulting in Joel's permadeath, are faulty at best. Joel legitimately has not done anything to Scott that others aren't also guilty of, Scott's insistence of having Joel dead really comes out of nowhere and the sheer magnitude of it is difficult to reason even disregarding that fact
In Last Life, yeah, I don't really care about that, that was standard death game happenings. The other instance I've been referring to instead has been Secret Life where Scott shares this similar sentiment he has in Limited Life as he kills Joel's second to last remaining teammate, and then him immediately afterward whilst taunting him about it. Just leaves a significantly terrible taste in my mouth following LimL. Joel did try and go after Scott in SL but largely only because of a task to do so. He was very happy to do it but he has never once succeeded, not even in Wild Life. Scott keeps putting Joel down and painting this image of him being deserving of his downfall when 1. Joel hasn't even tried to harm him in any notable way that Scott has referred back to until after this started and 2. he has never actually succeeded in harming Scott in any notable way after this started. And yet still Scott keeps referring to how Joel is after him for some strange reason that he can't possibly figure out, taking opportunities to taunt him and making him sound like a nuisance to his backside that he did nothing to deserve. It's incredibly frustrating when there's no justification I can see for the amount of loss he's caused for Joel in complete nonchalance. He spreads the idea that Joel is just evil and crazy (even though I'm sure he isn't even convinced of it himself, it's just beneficial for him) and should be put down like an animal for everyone's benefit and he's good at swindling people in that way to enforce his own version of events and beliefs however little water they actually hold
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traitors s3 ep6 thoughts massive rant
- I NEED TO STOP SAYING THINGS ON THIS APP ITS A CURSE AT THIS POINT. DAN. MY QUEEN. THE BEST FAITHFUL. THEY DIDNT EVEN VOTE HIM OFF BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT HE WAS A TRAITOR IT WAS JUST BECAUSE THEY DIDNT TRUST HIM.
- they 100% did NOT go off of logic on this one everyone was just pissed off at him about the mission even though there were much more obvious traitors with actual evidence for why they're traitors.
- as much as i like(??) linda she really should've been voted today but props to minah for protecting her i suppose.
- i'm also incredibly disappointed that the minah and dan duo didn't even last another episode on screen they would've been such a good team.
- also dan's sass when someone (i actually can't remember who) said that he should've told the truth about the mission and he immediately snapped back with “well, i didn't”. absolute icon he will be missed. by me. dearly.
- the mission today was something else, people were taking it way too personally in my opinion. and poor anna she really got the brunt of the gunge/goat blood/molasses i really don't think they realised how gross it would be at first.
- also claudia in her yeti coat on the shoulders of two cloaked figures was iconic.
- linda's crocodile tears at the breakfast table. it was so funny when everyone started judging her instead of being sympathetic.
- poison chalice the sequellll except they did a much better job this time i fear. however still not as iconic as the fizzy rosé.
- hoping fozia makes it out of this one, it was really nice of her to give anna safety she's possibly the only fair player left that was ever in this game at all. also alexander's constant expression of pure panic was absolute gold.
#now i have until next wednesday to be fuming over dan's banishment#the traitors#the traitors uk#traitors uk#the traitors s3#traitors s3#the traitors spoilers#traitors spoilers#claudia winkleman#bbc#bbc iplayer#bbc the traitors
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Reformation ref sheet for an AU Steven (named "Astra") who's been invading my brain since like,, April. It's VERY wide, apologies. There's a lot going on here because this man is incredibly old and has poofed way too many times for varying reasons. (See This post for how I headcanon that Steven can poof and still be considered a hybrid being.)
While I will not talk in huge length about certain aspects of his AU on this blog due to some of it involving strong NSFW themes, there is a ridiculous amount of other lore I've developed over time for Astra, and I love him to death. He is my sad, lonely mans who I metaphorically hurl against the wall like a sticky hand when I need to feel something.
This version of Steven will likely never have any kind of full ass fic or comic made about him. Despite that, I do enjoy sharing some art and fun character lore for him from time to time. So, I might as well finally give followers like... literally ANY context for him. I've had this ref sheet for a while and just have never gotten around to throwing it on here, LOL.
Ridiculously long dump about my guy under the cut.
Subnote, this was supposed to be a quick post but I can't help myself and wrote you a fucking BOOK under the cut because I love my guy so much UWU
(Content warning I guess for like, extremely vague mentions of Steven/Steven later on.)
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The huge tl;dr of Astra is as follows: he's a version of Steven who exists for SO long that he basically transforms into something of an ancient, lonely god.
He's outlived every single person he once knew as a child, and so as a result is starved for affection. At the same time, being vulnerable is the absolute scariest thing for him and he's really shit at navigating relationships, F.
The guy is THE most powerful living creature in his entire universe by the end, and yet remains a soft-spoken, (generally) benevolent soul. He dedicates himself to acting as caretaker for the vast, populous world he exists within, and to maintain the continuing legacy of Gemkind. A big discovery that occurs in this AU is that Gems are in fact susceptible to entropy over the span of millions of years and will eventually fall "inert," (but not him because of weird hybrid biology stuff he honestly sees as more of a curse than a blessing) so a huge plotline early on in Astra's lifespan is trying to either find a "cure" for this issue or to develop a means by which new generations of Gems can be created without the reinstatement of Kindergartens so Gemkind doesn't overtly go extinct.
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But, to start... this Steven diverges off a point in canon- this is the timeline where he actually takes up the Diamonds on their offer of the throne in the movie, believing he may have a better chance of heralding true societal change working from the INSIDE rather than stepping away. Because he pours himself so thoroughly into his role on Homeworld and his mind is continuously occupied by this purpose, he never experiences the events SU: Future, nor does he develop his "pink mode" (yet...) or corrupt at all.
However, he's also so engrossed in his work that he's... kind of a shit boyfriend to Connie as years go on. (In that he's not terribly attentive... always super busy... their visits are often cut short, or few and far between.) Their relationship never really goes anywhere as a result, though Connie wants it to. To be fair so does Steven, but he's so scared that everything he's worked so hard to organize and set up in this new era will fall apart if he steps aside from his role for even a moment that he can't allow himself to follow that want.
At some point here he learns he can poof through a complete freak accident, and that's where things really begin to change in this timeline.
It takes a good few months for him to reform, but once he does he's back at it with all his work on Homeworld pretty quick.
The thing is... he doesn't have an innate physical need to eat or drink or sleep anymore, because he now consists of entirely hard light. It mimics human biology to an insane degree, so he COULD do all those things, but he doesn't need them to persist. So... he kinda takes this as an excuse to cut those activities out of his schedule entirely so he can spend more time focused on his duties as a diamond.
Connie is NOT a fan of this, and this leads to some debate and tension within their relationship. That being said, they remain an item...
Up until out of nowhere, Connie dies in an accident on Earth while Steven is off planet in a place where he doesn't have any contact with them for a few days. By the time the Gems are able to get in touch with him, it's far too late to resurrect her.
The kicker? In the autopsy it's discovered that she was a few weeks pregnant when she died.
Steven is emotionally gutted by this... and the thought of what could have been... and poofs.
The guy is understandably destroyed when he comes back in his next form, and his form reflects that- his gem flips as a sort of metaphorical severing from his own humanity.
He spends a long while in a deep depression at the loss of his childhood sweetheart... at the loss of any potential for (as far as he sees) a "normal" human life. There's a part of him that resents the choices he's made to end up in this present, but like, there's still work to be done.
And as the years move on, a LOT of that work is mitigating the growing relations (for better or for worse) between Gems and humans as humanity stretches their legs and reaches out into the stars. Humans kinda get... really aggressive in their expansion though, and quite territorial, and it leads towards some inevitable conflict between them and Gemkind. This time, with them more at fault. Things get so spicy that some groups of humans and Gems go to war.
Steven tries to mitigate one of these situations at the front lines- and gets poofed by a disgruntled Gem, speared straight through the back because she (kinda wrongly) assumed he would take the humans' side due to his ancestral ties to them.
When he reforms this time, he is glowing a perpetual pink. The Gems don't really know what to make of this, but he seems to be in perfectly fine health otherwise, so they assume it's just a normal aspect of this new neutral form.
And while this isn't something Steven has context to figure out until like... billions of years later, what's actually happened is that he's entered a permanent pink mode, pretty much. Guy's just got that much bottled up, unaddressed trauma.
He spends a long time in this form, and over all these thousands of years oversees the slow return to peace between Gems and humans... their marriage as a space age federation... and their deeper exploration of the galaxy. Beyond their home solar systems exist a bounty of alien species they've yet to meet... some friendly, some less so. There's definitely some conflict that crops up amidst the local galactic neighborhood when Gems and humans show up on the playing field here, lol.
But all-in-all, Steven develops a fairly peaceful and predictable routine during this reformation- living more like a Gem than ever before. He's still got the Crystal Gems at his side through all of this, and they are some of his greatest confidants.
And then... without any warning... Gems begin to go inert. Amethyst is among them.
Some of them simply stop reforming after they poof... especially those who were older Gems, or who have been cracked before. Steven and the other Diamonds using their powers together are able to "fix" this at first and "jumpstart" their reformation, but it's just a bandaid of a fix- these Gems will fall inert again pretty soon. And the longer they persist without poofing from alternate causes, the more unstable their form, power, and memory becomes. (Think of this as Gem dementia at its late stages,,, oof.)
The bottom line? Just like organics, Gems aren't immune to the forces of entropy. Sooner or later, their gemstones will decay from the inside out. Stubborn to find a way to save the ones he loves as he watches them slowly deteriorate all around him, Steven dedicates himself to trying to find a cure. But deep down, a part of him recognizes the futility of this. What he believes Gemkind actually needs to do is to develop a means of rebooting Gem incubation that doesn't destroy planets, so they can rebuild their quickly dwindling population and keep their legacy alive.
The big problem with this is that Gems take a SHIT load of energy and resources to properly incubate, so that puzzle will take a long ass time to sort out. There's kinda a lot of chaos that happens during this time. The reality of their own blunt mortality freaks out a bunch of Gems, and Steven has to do damage control with the heads of state for a lot of other alien species.
In the interim, all the Crystal Gems and some of the Diamonds (White is still in the picture, though) end up falling inert. Pearl is the last of the CGs to do so.
Steven is understandably SUPER gutted about this, and poofs yet again. (Lol notice a theme? Poor mans keeps poofing from friggin' anguish. Help him.)
After reforming with barely any changes, it's right back to work for this guy. He and the rest of his team of researchers are unable to find any cure for Gems decaying and falling inert, but they do end up making huge leaps and bounds in other kinds of tech. One of these advances allows Steven to finally deep-scan his own gemstone down to the atomic level to check for decay- this was previously a process that was very invasive, and came at the risk of irreparably damaging a Gem, but not anymore.
He expects to find evidence of the same micro decay that's been slowly eating away at the rest of Gemkind within his OWN diamond, but the thing is...
He just... ISN'T decaying at all? Even though the sheer age of this gemstone itself should suggest otherwise? As it turns out though, his existence as a hybridized being makes him kind of... an anomaly. When he first reformed all those thousands of years ago, all the data within his gem- data that would otherwise be susceptible to decay- was translated into genetic material. DNA that's woven entirely out of hard-light... but, DNA that has also been constantly regenerating itself thanks to a combination of all the intricate biochemistry surrounding the human telomere and his healing powers.
In other words, he is incapable of falling inert from natural causes, like micro decay. He's functionally immortal. Unless someone shatters him (or... heaven forbid... he shatters himself) he simply can't die.
Which, all of a sudden, makes his race to save Gemkind from their quickly approaching extinction all the more personal. Because if he FAILS- then he'll be the very last of Gemkind. There will be no one else left in this world who is even remotely like him. (Humanity has mixed and mingled with the galactic locals so much by now that they're very much unrecognizable from what they once were.)
His spirit is very nearly broken by this discovery, and he is severely tempted to throw all his own principles out the window and just sanction the construction of new Kindergartens again, if only to keep the dwindling Gem populations up and birth new generations. Perhaps surprisingly, it's White Diamond- the last Gem left who Steven actually knew since the very beginning- who urges him to reconsider. To not give up on his own morality, to not revert all the miraculous changes he's worked for these long few million years.
The big shift in the tides is when he discovers the means to jump to alternate timelines, and thus the existence of the greater multiverse. This allows him to gather intel and ideas from a far greater spectrum of sources.
And eventually... it's with the aid of many alt versions of himself from other lines across the multiverse that leads to him finding a suitable, eco-friendly solution to his Gem incubation problem. (This is the aspect of this AU I cannot discuss in length for discretion's sake. Use your imagination. Or don't, I don't care.)
The following two sections, I'll be talking more about the broad thematics than anything else. At this point, know that there are now new batches of Gems being created all the time. Gemkind is no longer at risk of any extinction, but now- like any stable organic species- new Gems are made at the same rate that they fall inert.
So, the BIGGEST thing here with this reformation is that this is overtly where this guy picks up the name "Astra." Why a name change? Well, after White finally went inert, leaving him the last Diamond in existence within this line, it basically just felt... upsetting to him, to continue to go by a name that every person he ever loved used for him. Thus, the new name is overtly a means to distance himself from that past, and from that pain. (It's also a name he chooses while thinking back to a meaningful conversation he had with White, back before she went inert, oOF. I'll probably yell about that at some point in another post.)
So, too, is the lack of any tangible facial features. He HAS a face, but others just can't see it. He subconsciously obscures it from almost everyone's sight as a means of avoiding vulnerability. One might also have noticed by now that this guy's proportions have gotten like, really strange and sorta "stretched out" over time the larger he becomes... and this is intentional, as it's yet another way he's just becoming more inhuman in form, yet another way he's internally separating himself from those humble human origins of his.
But here's the thing, though.
Deep, deep down, to be human and to live a simple human life is basically all he's ever craved. It's everything he feels he's lost forever, with the death of his Connie. And instead, he's kinda stuck in a hellish sunk cost fallacy of his own making, acting as eternal caretaker for this world that- no matter what he does to try and make it a better place- will never quite be PERFECT. Thus, in his mind, even though he's literally fixed Gemkind's BIGGEST problem, he can't Stop. He can't Rest. He simply can't allow himself himself to lay down and Sink Away into the unknown.
And even if he could allow himself to do so, he is so, so scared of walking that path alone.
If he's going to die... he wants that end to be at a lover's side.
How, though, is someone who's basically a god supposed to find anyone in this multiverse with experiences they can remotely relate to?
Well... ultimately, Astra finds that it's far, far easier to build up a close relationship with varying versions of himself than anyone else. He's... kinda trash at it, though. This guy has so much bottled up Gunk in his head and is so starved for any form of affection that he has a habit of throwing WAY too much of himself into the relationships he engages in, and expecting that same level of commitment in return. There's one relationship with an alt Steven he's in for a while that ends up pretty unhealthily co-dependent before it fizzles out, and then another where he assumes the individual is committing to this partnership for the long run, but then no... actually Astra was always pouring more into this dynamic than he was receiving in return.
This second relationship, when it ends, is pretty devastating to him- since it was one that lasted for like, a LONG ass time. Unimaginably long. We're talking billions of years, here.
Uh-oh! And now he's even more distanced from other people. Folks can't even parse his actual chosen name at this point- except he isn't really consciously aware of this for a while?? It's yet another silent cry for help, yet another internal defense mechanism specially intended to keep others from truly getting to know him. Because every time he does... stars. No matter what he does, he keeps getting hurt. Almost everyone he knows and loves is torn from his life eventually... if not by death, then by some form of tragedy... and he's just so, so tired.
He wants literally ANYTHING to change in his life. He craves some new form of purpose. He craves the attention of someone who might love him as passionately as he loves them.
For a while, he almost believes he's found that- in yet another close relationship he forges with an alt version of himself- but while this other Steven does care for him immensely, it's only as a friend. Which kinda kills Astra, because he's like, lost in the sauce levels of In Love with this guy. There's a LOOOOOOT of story I have here with this, oh my god. If I am thinking about this AU I am usually thinking about this Old Man Yaoi. The great bulk of it is very NSFW themed though, so y'all getting the cliff notes.
The MOST important thing to know though, is that Astra both makes intense leaps and strides in once again allowing himself to be vulnerable with this man, and ALSO kinda intensely fucks their whole mutually agreed situationship up. It's messy. I am crying and wailing at these two old dumbasses. Jesus fucking christ.
But then, it's in the aftermath of this whole deal that an individual named Orion comes into the picture.
Orion quite literally falls into Astra's world by complete accident, but it's a very lucky accident- because she is a diamond hybrid version of Connie from another universe who- beyond a few differences- has a strikingly similar history to his. The big difference, though? She never found a means to create new Gems without Kindergartens, so she was the last of just a few thousand Gems who existed in her entire line. Part of a deeply endangered species.
This version of Connie arrives in some very deep mental turmoil, and so Astra does his best to give them a stable home and a place to heal. And while a past version of him might've been tempted to throw way too much of himself into the slow building rapport they have, he's blessedly Learned a thing or two from the past few major relationship experiences he's had... and chooses to like, ease up. Just offer himself as a friend first and foremost, should they care for one. Man learns restraint, lol.
And it's a damn GOOD thing that he does, because out of the genuine friendship they foster, Orion is the one who ultimately falls in love with him first. The relationship that's established here is one that's balanced, a true partnership where they simply make each other better people. It's through Orion's encouragement that Astra eventually reconnects and makes up with that last person he had an intense relationship with, even.
In time, Astra truly grows to thrive with Orion in his life. He becomes a far more open, vulnerable person, someone who feels safe to truly exist as who he is, to bare every complicated, battered facet of his past to those he trusts. While he may have taken the LONG road to get here, he too heals. And as a result...
One day, Astra simply stops glowing entirely. Shrinks down to more reasonable proportions. He stops hovering around on automatic, stops subconsciously scrubbing the memory of his face or name from people's minds. He stops denying his truest, deepest self- the reality that he was born an organic being, and raised as a human.
The burred reality that all he's ever truly wanted since the day his first lover died is to be a father.
To live a quiet, simple life with the people he loves.
For so long it was a mirage of a future he thought he'd never chase down, but for how much he made all the wrong choices the first time around, now he has a second chance.
And so in my brain, that's exactly what happens. Astra and Orion start a family together and continue to act as guardians over this universe for many years to come, until- after they are satisfied with the long life they've lived together, and their children have moved on to start forging their own paths- they eventually pass Beyond at their own will in each other's arms, ending their impossibly long godhood at peace.
I really don't know how to end this post lmafo, so I will simply say: if you somehow read all of this, holy shit you are so brave. Thank you for engaging with my insane ramblings. Have a nice day LOL FUIHSNUFSJG
This man haunts my brain so much I missed two off ramp turns on the highway the other day while thinking about him. Help me.
#su#su future#steven universe#su fanart#my art stuff#astra#nova rambles#i am going Insane please help#i will never write a full fic but i DO have like a ridiculous amount of outlined lore for him#yeah sure why NOT make a three am post. i am insane and this man is the object of my insanity. this is all you need to know.#i am so Tired help me
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The new update is now public.
Hello again, people!
That's it. This is the day.
The new update is now public.
(You're required to start a new playthrough if you don't want any game-breaking bugs, by the way.)
What's done:
All three routes are finished.
All the POVs are rewritten to be in the third person (they actually feel way better than I thought they would be).
Some parts of the first fight scene are fixed and clarified.
Some pronoun bugs are fixed.
What's planned:
…
Writing another update, obviously.
Word count:
Including command lines: 271245 Excluding command lines: 260837
But, I would ask you to temper your expectations in terms of the new content's single playthrough length. I'm going to paraphrase this from my previous post: the actual amount of content that was added with this new update is somewhere between 15 to 25 pages (approximately).
Even though the word count increased from 53k to 260k, the only event to happen in this update is one conversation/confrontation (ridiculous, I know). This is primarily due to the overwhelming amount of variable text that changes depending on your earlier choices and due to the number of routes you can take. If you're interested in the reasons for me to decide to do that, check out my previous post.
So, basically, each reader will experience the new content very differently but may not get as much satisfaction due to its shortness. If that is the case, I can only suggest you make another playthrough with different choices, but, if that's not your cup of tea, I would totally understand. But, overall, the game is very… how do I put it..? Multiple-playthroughs-friendly, I'd say.
Safe to say, the update will be incredibly polarizing, no doubt, but I'm always open to feedback.
And, even though I haven't found any bugs or inconsistencies, I am obviously aware that someone else may find them, so, if you are that someone, please report the bugs to me.
I think that's all regarding the update itself, so go ahead and play it. Hope you will like it!
PLAY THE UPDATE
Now, onto other interesting things…
From this point onward, I'm starting to take writing seriously, and that's why I've finally decided to open my Patreon page.
I've made a free introductory post there that explains what I'll be offering, but, right off the bat, I want to tell you that I can't offer you things that other creators are usually offering: Q&As and What-if scenarios. If we're talking about Q&As, I don't want to do them because I consider mystery to be a big part of my work, so I don't really want to wiggle around every question that people will ask me because it won't be fair to them and won't feel good to me. As for What-if scenarios, I don't want to write out some hypothetical scenarios when I can spend that time to progress the plot forward in the actual story. And, trust me, if I'm going to spread my attention too thin, I'm never going to finish this project… And I don't think you and I want that.
What I will provide, however, are progress updates, sneak peeks, early access, and monthly side stories, which the community will be able to choose by voting.
So, I'd advise you to read through the new update first, decide whether you're willing to put up with my approach to the content, and then consider subscribing if what I offer on Patreon is enough for you. If, after all that, you decide to become a member, I'll be very grateful to you. If not, I will still appreciate you being interested in my work and taking the time to read through it.
Thanks for tuning in, and have a pleasant day or a peaceful night!
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People have been baffled by Great immediately trusting Thyme over his brother but it makes sense to me (in the context of Thyme's "mission" at least)?
One of the first things we get to see as an audience is Great sitting far away from his family when they're eating dinner. It's a visual symbol in itself - Korn sits with his father, Great isolates himself from them.
Yes, Great seems to be closer to his brother, he clearly trusted him enough to seek him out when he had his first "vision" (or however you want to call them lmao) but Korn immediately dismissed it as Great being high or drunk and didn't take him seriously (I can't exactly fault him for that to be fair but to Great, it was pretty traumatic experience).
Then he meets Thyme at the hospital and sees them having intimate and loving sex. He doesn't see the cold, clinical version of Thyme, not for long anyway. Honestly, I think this vision is the only reason why Great even indulged any of Thyme's awkward flirting in the first place.
Then those following things happen: Thyme saves him, awkwardly flirts with him again. Worries about him and seeks him out and while he's joking about the visions at first he does take Great seriously and talks to his doctor friend immediately. They have a cute date and Great even allows himself to be vulnerable again. He gets visions of them holding hands, gently kissing.
Great is clearly very lonely and there's this person that cares about him in this awkward yet gentle way AND he even has visions of the future confirming that they'll be together in one way or another? What is there not to trust?
In the last week's episode he called Thyme first after his hospital vision, not Korn. He only called Korn after he couldn't reach Thyme which honestly was the first indicator on who he depends on NOW.
Now still people rightfully say "well that's his brother, why trust this man he's known for like a month?".
I think it has everything to do with Korn falling deeper and deeper into the shady part of the family business. Korn is literally moving further away from Great's (and Thyme's) shades of grey to his father's "darkness". Korn IS new to this. He' not comfortable with violence at all though he seems to further lose himself in this task to please his father and Great SEES that.
Korn doesn't have time for him anymore. He doesn't smile. He's doing some unknown business for his father that he can't say anything about. And he tells Great directly, this is important. He can't mess this up. But Great already knows by then what he's talking about. He's talking about holding another person hostage. Pleasing his father is more important to Korn than another person's life.
And Great's been forced by the universe (or maybe his own brain we don't know yet lmao) to actually make THE decision he wants to make. To not let the woman die. To protect Dome. He used his chances to do the right thing. He's witnessed people in his life being capable of killing someone else. People who maybe were a little bit shitty but he never thought they were capable of that.
Now there's this man who saves people for a living, who makes him feel loved, protected and cared for, telling Great that his parents are the reason for his parents dying. Great's parents that mean nothing but pain and loneliness to him. And he sees his brother trying to painfully please his father to the point of completely abandoning his moral compass.
The universe is constantly telling him to trust Thyme. Thyme will bring you love, the feeling you're seeking. Your brother, meanwhile, only tries to become this perfect puppet for their parents.
Great asked Korn to explain what kind of business he's doing. Korn answered him: it's incredibly important and he can't mess up. Great could've made Korn choose between him and his dad's business but he didn't. Yes, he "messed" it up but he didn't force Korn to choose.
Not yet anyway. This will become much more painful when Korn will actually have to choose and either fall deeper into the worst version of himself or try to become the man that Tonkla once idolized and Great once trusted.
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#i also think people view korn as far too calculating and cunning#i think he's capable of it...he's clearly getting there#but i think a lot of his reactions are genuinely him trying to please his father and being completely overwhelmed and exhausted with#upholding this image of himself#but that's another meta lmao#can't believe i'm writing rambling metas again that's what this show is doing to me
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My very long rant about The Owl House many will have issues reading
Felt like writing my hot takes within The Owl House and its fan base after witnessing some crazy drama all over the blogs I follow and followed:
First things first, I want to establish that there's nothing wrong with liking other ships that are non-canon or ships that are canon. We can all co-exist peacefully, but we won't if we're going to assume that shippers of other ships by default must be sexist or delusional or just the worst. There are plenty of bad apples among all the shippers here, but they're not necessarily the norm (though to be fair the norm usually enables the worst behaviors of such shippers). As a whole TOH isn't a healthy collective and could never be as this fan base is much larger than people realise (you can't have so many people invested with this show for the fan base to be supposedly chill, like Fat Chance).
Like really you can go from canon purists who will keep everything wholesome and silly but because of how starved the actual canon left them they will include a hundred different headcanons that are not in any way related to actual canon and still be upset as if the canon was threatened when you can just to agree with the headcanons alone. There's still, of course, an issue of canon purists literally rejecting everything that's in their mind is supposedly not okay because it strays away from canon in a more direct way. Then you will have Wittelore enjoyers who just love everything about Belos, Caleb, and Evelyn in various different expressions, but it can at times go to becoming lowkey colonist apologist territory along with pretty much-appropriating everything that applied to the character of color into these three when two of them canonically were never given a proper characterisation and Belos is not supposed to be just a victim that deserves grace but the very force that creates victims and the one to continue the cycle without remorse or second thoughts becoming the cycle itself, thus not making it any wrong to unceremoniously end it, though plenty of people will still have problem with it and wish the show validated Philip's feelings. However, you will also have POC defenders who will give the attention and love to characters of color they deserve and even the demon characters like King for example, and acknowledge how they're in fact the main characters while pointing out the clear white favoritism. But this can also go to an extreme territory where you will be called racist for actually finding white characters your favorite and still being interested more in their characters, which as I said is in fact incredibly extreme and disingenuous and also, something that will invalidate all the other good arguments by the virtue of this extreme being the underlying reason behind all of them and thus completely diminishing the problem because people will no longer take it seriously. Then you will have shippers of non-canon ships that are literally harassed by canon persists and were like that for years until they snapped and started to return the favor in the same way to the point of being delusional about how the canon pairings were not the original plan and how they actually suck and it's the non-canon pairing that should be canon which also further fuels the cycle and validates those who believe that somehow the shippers of other ships are after them specifically and how they mean o good when in fact they're the monsters they created themselves. This also leads to the infamous "critics" of the show who will pretty much hate anything within it to also inaccurate extreme that is based on assumptions born from the collective gaslight of some headcanons being canon, along with people judging the show on the surface and assuming things that were never the plan because they made a connection to something else they liked and got disappointed when those two things turned out to be unrelated (for example Hunter's arc being not like Zuko's arc when clearly it was never the point) and thus shushing away any potential criticism the show actually could get by the virtue of getting criticism that holds no water upon the closer look and thus makes people believe the show is, in fact, flawless or that the flaws don't matter in the slightest (when they do as they help improve future stories to not make the same mistakes and create something better). And of course, you will have people collectively gaslighting everyone around them that everything is fine and there's no drama in the show even though everyone hates each other here and fuel toxicity together by constantly drawing distinctions between "us and them" but never talking about how toxic it is.
Congratulations, we created our Emperor's Coven at home! This entire thing is pretty much the reason why I'm making this thing.
But back to the rest of the actual meat of this post, that was mere appetizer.
Second of all: Multishippers exist. Some people like both Lumity and Lunter and there are Lunter shippers who like Amity, me included as Amity's one of my favorite characters. It's disingenuous to assume Lunter shippers are by default lesphobic or just hate Amity. Heck, the reason Lunter shippers dislike Amity is less about her and more about the fan base's attitude. Imagine being constantly harassed that you don't ship mainstream ship by being specifically reminded that a specific lesbian exists, even if this isn't about her. You would be tired of her too because "good for her to be a happy lesbian", but Lumity may still not satisfy people as it's basically all fluff at this point. People are so overjoyed with them being together they hardly explore now possibilities of them going through something. At most, they will use green-haired Amity but people still will be waiting for green to turn into periwinkle, and fluff will just overwhelm anything else. And don't get me started on how both of them also end up being flanderised and dirty because of each other (as it goes both ways). People can just not vibe with that or be indifferent, but because people get harassed for daring to not love Lumity or Amity, they just end up hating it more. The issue is not Amity, the issue is Amity being the only option allowed. And gatekeeping people from enjoying other ships isn't ok. It really makes you feel like people erase aspects of their characters just to conform to a specific image of them and how can you accept something like this when the show is all about embracing weirdness and differences and not conforming to anything. Loving Lumity is a norm in this fan base, not a break with convention.
Third of all: I'm sorry to y'all but I think that considering Evelyn and Willow as literal parallels because they both fell in love with "Caleb" is disingenuous to both of them. No one would draw this connection if Willow wasn't romantically involved with Hunter. And while I don't disagree that Huntlow is goated and canon/semi-canon, their relationship is still left to interpretation and they are only implied to have a thing but not confirmed to be downright an item. We don't know 100% if they're dating, playing the long game, engaged, or amicably broken up. And that's great as both of their characters work in their own right and they don't need an established relationship to be fulfilled and people can interpret their relationship however they like, no need to throw pitchforks at one another. And Willow being dressed up AS A STEREOTYPE just doesn't help the case of her somehow being Evelyn's foil. Luz was dressed as an actual witch character (even if said witch is also not how real witches operate either, but it's still closer in meaning than Willow being dressed up as a devil as if Evelyn indeed charmed Caleb and he didn't fall in love with her like a normal person or that Evelyn was ever in the wrong to like a boy).
And as for Evelyn: please stop just summarising her up to Caleb's love interest for Titan's sake. We may not know much about her but we know that they did start as friends according to Dana's livestream and later on they would become parents to their child (if Belos didn't ruin it). Not only it's different from Huntlow as Huntlow didn't establish where they stand in their relationship at the end while it's clear that Evelyn and Caleb fucked, but Evelyn and Caleb had their love story that did take time (Huntlow at most is just getting started but for all, we know they could still break up in the future cause why not, it's their choice, first love isn't necessarily the only option). My point is that Evelyn's life didn't revolve around her love for Caleb alone so saying Willow and Evelyn are parallels because of them being lovers of our favorite white boys pretty much erases both of their characters. Evelyn's worth as a character doesn't end on getting pregnant, but also being a catalyst of all the events within the story, along with being a Clawthorne ancestor and original wild witch living between worlds.
Fifth point: this is where I bring Luz into this as the parallel, the infamous "Luz is Evelyn" everyone just loves to discard because it's only used as Lunter's argument and further making Evelyn only Caleb's bitch and nothing else, but here's a thing: you can use this parallel platonically to further spite Philip. People draw the connection because aside from having no romantic feelings towards "Caleb" (which is the only distinction between the two), Luz is also a wild witch (wild as in both wild personality-wise, wild as in everything Belos stands against (and side note: Willow being someone Belos wouldn't approve of is not a high bar because Belos would literally not approve of ANYBODY within our cast, so Willow's not special in this regard, heck Belos doesn't even know Willow all that much), wild as in using the very magic that came from the titan and wild as in a wild card that changed the course of history) that traveled between realms and came from another world (let's be real, Hunter is a witch from boiling isles, not a human from the earth, so Luz by a longshot matches the description better than Willow who's just a regular witch born in the demon realm to Hunter that frankly wouldn't be hurt or restrained by the coven system as she only uses plant magic from her bile sac and didn't go against the empire until season 1 finale and even then she didn't do it as a wild witch but child witch railing witches belonging to the coven to release Eda). Both of them also have loose association with Clawthornes as Luz isn't legally one but just a surrogate daughter of one and Evelyn's surname isn't known, the clan could've been established much later down the line or Evelyn's descendant married into Clawthorne's family, making Evelyn just an ancestor at best and distant at worst. I also already mentioned how both of them are catalysts to both the rise in power and the death of Philip while having massive guilt over it (Philip died on the inside as he killed Caleb, crossing the moral event horizon along with setting on the journey of destroying the entire realm. Plus I cannot imagine the survivor's guilt Evelyn must have felt over Caleb dying and orphaning their unborn child - which parallels Luz thinking she doomed her palisman by carving into an egg thinking it could never hatch because of how "she keeps on messing up constantly"). And of course, it's clear as day that Luz kickstarts Hunter's redemption arc by introducing Flapjack (and Evelyn did the same with Caleb, meanwhile Willow's only interaction with Flapjack is her giving him flowers on his grave; and it's worth noting as I doubt that Evelyn intentionally 'fixed" Caleb, much like Luz didn't intentionally "fixed" Hunter, though people sure love to think otherwise), making him question what he knows (a witch hunter falling in love with a witch - existential crisis is warranted, along with tones of guilt) and making him "betray" Belos (Hunter disobeyed Belos in HP and then questioned him directly in HM; Caleb "left Philip behind"). Like I'm sorry but Willow did nothing but wait till Hunter gets his shit together by himself (the only thing she actively tried to change his mind about is not judging a book by its cover but that's where it ends; she didn't call him out on doing the utterly terrible thing of kidnapping them to his cult nor anything else he did that wasn't morally correct) while Luz openly defied him and his worldview for him to come to his senses ("You're really going to take all those Palismen? I know what he does with them. I thought you were a good guy, but that was just wishful thinking" Hunter then proceeds to protect Luz from Kikimora, reveals his name, and lets Luz go with the Palismen just like that). Trivia: Evelyn also has brunette hair that is wild and tied back, Luz used to have them too early on but shorter, and currently they're curly.
That's where parallel comes from. That's what Evelyn us to Caleb: catalyst of change. Yes, Luz isn't in love with Hunter, but we could headcanon away that Caleb would be merely an uncle of Evelyn's kid, who's going to stop us from doing that? We can even make it that Philip felt replaced by Evelyn by her being Caleb's "new sibling" just for the fun of interpretation of the character.
But even if we won't do that (as no one forces us) then we must remember that parallel characters are not 2 characters being one and the same. Evelyn and Luz would still be separate entities and there's no crime in that. Luz not falling in love with a blond white boy is fine because that isn't and shouldn't be Evelyn's defining trait. Evelyn's defining trait is kickstarting change in Caleb which kickstarts Belos's vendetta against Witches. Romance was a bonus.
My sixth point: Last but not least let's finally talk about the elephant in the room that is parallel between Philip and Luz. All interpretations are valid, if you're choosing to interpret them like that, it's your valid choice and opinion. But saying that it's THE thing that happened within the show is just not correct and let me explain why before you discard me altogether if you haven't already.
Luz projected into Belos and Belos took advantage of that.
There, I said it, that's the ultimate truth of the show, you literally cannot deny this isn't how it happened.
Luz pretty much only had Philip as a point of reference to someone who shared her experience of a human in the demon realm. However, if she got to know Caleb instead of Philip, he would be the one Luz would compare herself to him. Ironically, she would be more correct as both of them are humans who run away to the demon realm after being possibly rejected by the closed-minded society and leaving behind unpleasant reality and their only living family member who they didn't realize how much they've hurt for choosing to leave them for the world that made them happy and helped them flourish (compare starved Caleb in Belos's vision to Caleb living in the demon realm and introducing Philip to Evelyn before he decided to kill them,). You could even say that Luz is a fusion of both Caleb and Evelyn at once. But unfortunately, Luz doesn't know Caleb as well as the audience does, all she knows is that he used to be a witch hunter who fell in love with Evelyn but that's about it. She doesn't know that he even has a connection to the portal door or Clawthorne ancestry.
So with no one else as a point of reference, Luz is going to compare herself to Philip Whattabitch. She assumed that she must be as bad as Belos because she thought he sincerely thought he was doing everything for a genuine reason and not because he was just a douchebag. Sure Philips's motivations are complex, but they don't come from a good place in the slightest. The Titan himself literally asks Luz if she's drunk on Eda's apple blood for thinking she's just as bad as Belos.
Like seriously, Luz stumbled on the Isles by pure accident. It was never for a reason or a higher purpose. She was never "destined" to go there, but it was her actions and decisions that led her there and changed the world around her. She didn't know the reason why she landed on Boiling Isles because there never was any reason or a prophecy to justify her presence there as it was never needed. This is not the same as Belos who willingly went to the demon realm to both find his brother and destroy all the witches. Luz very quickly grew out of "I'm the chosen one" whereas Belos made himself a false messiah. Even the Titan said that she's not chosen to be given Titan powers by fate but for her actions and kindness she's given them to support her and it was her decision to accept them. Not to mention that she respected the Isles, the inhabitants, and the magic that was part of this world, while all Belos ever did was destroy, murder, and steal it all for himself.
The show doesn't tell you Luz and Belos are foils, the show tells you that Luz VIEWS herself as Belos's foil, but she's nothing like him. Even their respective hero complexes are different. Luz seeks self-improvement to find a community for herself to belong to. But Belos? Belos wants to get praise and glory for slaughtering "the evil". Those two are not the same because Belos doesn't care about anyone but himself while Luz is all about what other people feel and think about her and she sacrifices herself multiple times for other people's sake. Belos would never do that. Belos wasn't even happy that Caleb was actually well and healthy in the demon realm, in contrast to the vision where Caleb is starved and sleep-deprived because he had to look after him ever since they were little orphans, sacrificing his own well-being. But Luz would rather give up her own hopes and dreams just to not see anyone she cares about ever put themselves on the line like that.
At most, I can agree that Luz represents what's best in humanity and Belos represents the worst, but that is still an incredibly broad concept that just doesn't contribute much to the actual story of TOH which isn't about humanity as a whole. And I'm sorry but this parallel is just used to woobify Belos and villanise Luz, something that certainly is not right. Because even if you made Belos a hero and Luz a villain, they'd still be nothing like one another.
Even Luz's dynamic with Hunter is nothing like Caleb and Philip. Caleb and Philip grew up together and they were the entire world to one another growing up. But Luz and Hunter didn't even have each other when growing up, they didn't get to know them until their teens, and the first time they meet they were at each other's throats which is different from Wittebane brothers having a loving relationship early on only for Belos to stab Caleb. Arguably, even if liked the idea of Luz and Hunter being siblings, I'd be disappointed with how much the show didn't do anything with them and it's always the fan base that pulls heavy weight on them being sibling-like. Like Hunting Palismen is them not even being friends let alone family and it's still supposed to be the pinnacle of their sibling rivalry, even though they were actual enemies and Luz is just as petty and immature here as she is with Kikimora? Luz supposedly didn't go after Hunter after he ran away from the Owl House whereas she did chase King when he learned the truth in Echoes of the Past? Supposedly we never had an on-screen scene where Hunter officially becomes a Noceda? I'm sorry but I will take a "You're family" from Afro-Latina as not confirmation that I'm a sibling but a friend who is close enough to be as valued as a family member, especially followed by Willow's "You're one of us now" and preceded with Camila's "I'm a mother of six". Are Hunter and Willow siblings too now? Hunter didn't even get to be in a photo of the Noceda family in the epilogue, what kind of brother would that be?
Camila is more of a Caleb to Luz considering it was her who raised Luz through trials and tribulations, sacrificing her own quirks and encouraging Luz to do the same just to conform to the norms of Gravesfield. But quite frankly it's Luz who ultimately runs away because of a certain Clawthorne Witch leaving Camila behind. Hunter literally has no such story with Luz, unless you count him running away in HM, only to return to COTH a week later and then finally live under Nocedas' roof.
Even when Luz didn't like Hunter's guts, she would never kill him. And despite being dressed up as Belos in the nightmare sequence, there's never a parallel between Philip and Caleb, because truly this isn't their relationship. And while we're at it, the whole nightmare sequence is once again a play on Luz's insecurities and doubts, but none of them are the truth. None of Luz's friends blame her for what happened, none of Belos's crimes are her crimes, and Luz would never willingly destroy the Boiling Isles because she doesn't destroy the things or people she hates. Even Belos was not finished off by Luz but by boiling rain and her family.
Ok, I finished venting about everything that's been going on inside my head. Might add more on the way, but those were the issues that were bugging me so now do whatever you want with it.
#long post#toh#the owl house#toh critical#toh fan base#toh fan base critical#vent post#maybe I'll add some venting about how Hunter's treated in the fan base#but I laready said a lot of related and unrelated stuff#toh fandom critical
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"My Lady, you are fair and brave and have much to live for... and many who love you."
So this line, huh.
Prime shipping material beloved by many a Merrywyn shipper. But there's a reason for that!
This line and scene in general reads as romantic tension to some and it's not (necessarily) because of the wish to push some kind of shipping agenda, but because this line is actually not Merry's to say originally, but Faramir's - Éowyn's canon love interest. It's been rewritten to make sense for Merry to say, but it's basically a summation of the conversations she has with Faramir in the Houses of Healing in the books.
The movies kind of just gloss over a lot of Éowyn's arc of healing from despair so her being so defeated comes a little out of left field in this scene. It's left in here because of what the writers are trying to get at. They're trying to emulate her scenes with Faramir in the Houses of Healing where she's overcome with despair and Faramir tries to coax her out of it by telling her how great she is and how much he loves her. Éowyn, bereft of her glorious death in battle and forced to linger on, slowly realizes that life may be bearable after all and that things like love, acknowledgement and agency might be possible for her and preferable to death.
Since they almost completely cut that part from the movies (rip), the only window to put this character development and resolution of Éowyn's arc, albeit brief and kind of backwards, is to have Merry evoke this feeling of "You are an incredible and beloved person, maybe life isn't so bad after all, maybe it's possible to love and be loved".
But he's also tying it to his own feeling of hopelessness, of being caged in his own body and his desire to be one of those mighty warriors, to do great deeds so that he can make a difference in a world that has long forgotten him, something that Éowyn herself has expressed and relates strongly to. This is the second point of this scene: to let the audience in on Merry's POV. It's almost completely missing in these particular parts of the movies that originally were all about Merry's own arc of overcoming despair and loneliness. They're both getting a tiny little sliver of what their book selves are going through at various points.
Anyway, so now you've kind of... Taken the romantic aspect of her relationship with Faramir and merged it with the woes Merry (and herself) goes through and you have. Well. Created some very compelling comradery, but also misplaced romantic tension between these two.
Because it's not one-sided. Éowyn responds to this. She is deeply moved. Her face grows soft, teary, almost reverent at Merry's words.
A horn blows suddenly to rouse the riders and she's not even phased, she's too caught up in this feeling that Merry stirred in her. "Then the heart of Éowyn changed", etc. etc., because this is mirroring that change which opens up her heart to be able to fall in love with Faramir, but now she's looking at Merry instead. A lot of people like to focus on Merry's all but love confession (including myself I guess by bringing it up), but have you seen the way this woman looks at this hobbit. Whatever is going on here, it is reciprocated. Most ardently.
I cannot explain the direction choice to have Merry blush and look away after uttering the words "...and there are many who love you", however. He's projecting so hard he might as well have flung himself into the sun that weirdly happens to be out and shining brightly. That hobbit was on the cusp of saying "and I love you", but chickened out at the last second. It makes sense though, it's the original conclusion of the statement, but for obvious reasons Merry can't say that and now he's just looking like he's afraid he's said too much.
This is why that scene is responsible for a Merrywyn shipper or two. And it's just. So funny. Incredible. The writers (and a lot of the audience) didn't even realize that they chose violence or that anyone would think twice about the implications. Merry, being a hobbit, is not a threat to the natural order of things I suppose, and so it's fine to transfer this expression of romantic love onto him, which is quite telling in and of itself.
#lord of the rings#lord of the rings meta#eowyn#eowyn of rohan#merry brandybuck#meriadoc brandyuck#eowyn x merry#merry x eowyn#merrywyn#what's this#me writing merrywyn meta in the year of our lord 2024??#i watched the movies again recently#can't expect me to watch rotk and come away unscathed#i don't think anyone's talked about this
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hello ⭐star⭐ for that one post about fanfic director’s commentary, hope you’re having a lovely day
thank u so much!!! i hope ur having a wonderful day too :3 ok hmm let's go with death note this time. let's talk about they both die at the end
(obviously death cw and suicidal ideation cw as well and also it's long again.)
so this one is kind of an undignified wrestle with mortality and legacy. no big dramatic strides made in that struggle, because i think getting satisfying closure about the acceptance of your own death is sort of gauche. i prefer a running stream of consciousness where you kinda flop around in the ring and kind of come to terms with things but in a really damp and hollow and itchy way.
throughout this fic i tried to use L's narration to contrast the source of his panic with the source of light's. both of them are acting sort of out of character in the sense that neither's behaviour is really aligned with the way they act in canon, and the reason i did that is sort of as a response to their own impending deaths. nobody's going to act like themselves in that circumstance. i even have them say it outright:
“I’m not really a nihilist,” says Light. “I wonder what you’d think of me if you’d met me on a normal day.” ... [L:] “I’m not ordinarily apathetic, either, by the way.”
one very simple detail showing that contrast is this:
L closes the door without locking it. He picks a direction at random and starts walking.
...
And it’d turned out they were nearby, so now they’re at Light’s apartment. “I didn’t think I’d be back here today,” he tells L, sticking his key in the lock. “Sorry if it’s messy.”
basically, light is in flight and L is in freeze. L doesn't bother locking his door when he leaves the house in the morning, but light does. L knows/accepts/has resolved that he won't be returning home that day. part of light still refuses to accept that, even though he leaves the house with the intention of ending his life.
i don't think it's fair to say that L's acceptance is more mature or that he's more at peace with his fate. it's more like...
so, L approaches situations with the perspective of looking at what is. he's truth-oriented. he accepts the facts of a given matter and then uses them to extrapolate what comes next. that extrapolation is really key to his character so it honestly bugs me a lot when people try to say that L is a purely logical character. he's not! he's running on intuition like 99% of the time and a lot of his extrapolations are wild and not evidence-based at all, but the reason for that is that he has an incredibly strong intuition based on how effectively he processes information. so L understands based on the phone call that he's going to die today, and there's really no point arguing around that fact. however, he can't actually figure out what his next steps are, because there are no next steps. he's going to die today.
throughout the story he struggles immensely with the fact that there is a piece of information he can't attain using the information he already has: he doesn't know when he's going to die, only that it's going to happen before midnight, and so he is completely unable to plan what he should do next, because he can't see any course of action through to its conclusion:
Two. Three. Two. Three. Four. Three. Two. L shakes his head. Can’t count up. Can’t count down. The numbers keep changing, but he can’t find zero. “No,” he says. Deductive reasoning, by its nature, requires premises—in order to find a fact, you must have a fact to begin with. You cannot begin with a baseline of nothing. With no reference, there can be no inference. L keeps counting, but there is no zero, or rather, there is a zero and he doesn’t know where it is. The next second could be his last, or the next, or the next, and all he can know is that at some point the ticking will stop and there is no way to orient himself to it because that point keeps moving .
this drives L crazy. that uncertainty is being represented by this incessant ticking in L's head which won't fade. ok so have you ever used a metronome? say you're counting in 4/4, so the click would play like ONE two three four ONE two three four. the rhythm is steady, but there's one emphasised beat to orient you to where you are in the measure. or, say, a ticking clock, where you can glance at it to see where you are in the 60 seconds that make up a minute. you can count down to when the next minute begins. or a timer, where you can see it counting down to zero. in L's head, he knows the ticking is counting down to the moment of his death, but he doesn't know what it's counting down to because he can't see it. he doesn't know where zero is, there's no emphasis to orient him, and he doesn't know which second he's at in the minute. he could start doing something and then die in the next three seconds, and it would be abrupt and jarring and unsatisfying, like the feeling you get when you take a breath and get winded. so he's in freeze. L accepts that he's going to die today, but he doesn't know when, and the whole time he's thinking about all the things he's never gotten to experience in his life because he's always sort of taken the concept of existence for granted. but he can't figure out how to take steps to try and check things off, because he's never actually made that list. and why make it now? because he might not get to finish them, and that's really unsatisfying. and how do you prioritise when you know you're not going to get to the end of your list and your list is infinity items long? he can't plan. he can't move. he's stuck. he panics, frozen.
light on the other hand has always had a plan for his future, and he's just watched that timeline rapidly shrink and cut all the opportunities off that he'd always been counting down towards. suddenly everything he's done up until now feels like a huge waste, because it was all a run-up to something that now doesn't exist. and he can't bear the fact that the control he'd always taken care to maintain over his life has suddenly been wrested away from him. that's why he starts the story out trying to kill himself - at the very least, he can control the when and cut the fear off.
Light swallows his mouthful of tuna and says, “If I can’t control my fate, I can at least bring it about myself.” “Does controlling your fate matter to you?” “That’s a stupid question,” says Light. “If you asked me yesterday I’d have had a hundred thousand things to say that mattered more to me than choosing how I’d die. My options have just kind of narrowed today, that’s all.”
L's right, though - light never would have done it. light wants to live more than he ever realised. i think light's had this moment of looking down the tunnel (hehe) and staring down his own impending death and realised he's not finished yet, but that's been taken out of his hands. he's realised that the mark he's left on the world has been so small and insignificant, and that if he dies now, that'll be all that's left of him. he's not willing to accept that. but that's the way things are. so he's in flight: run towards his own death so at least he can control the pace at which he dies? try to outrun the inevitable? try to speedrun a meaningful life to see if he can make some kind of mark before he stops existing for good?
“I don't know what we're walking to,” says Light. “I feel like I'm walking closer to my—to my own—” “We can stop.” “That just means it'll happen here instead. I don't want to die here, either.” “Where do you want to die?” “I don't,” Light says. His face crumples. “I just don’t. I'm not ready to be done.”
this is my favourite part of the fic tbh. it's based on a nightmare i had once that ended up changing my entire worldview. wahoo!
not to be a wanker but to an extent this is kind of what everyone's doing, technically, walking towards what will inevitably be your death, since time only moves in one direction and all that. but unlike everyone in the real world, light can see it. he wants to walk in the other direction, but it's all around him. he can see it growing closer the more he keeps moving, and all he wants to do is stop.
“What do I say?” Light asks desperately. “Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.” Break. “Sorry I'll never give you grandchildren. Sorry I didn't get to graduate. Sorry you'll have to bury my dreams with me. Sorry for nineteen years that came to nothing in the end. It came to nothing.”
re: light refusing to speak to his family: i think he explains himself in the fic enough, but there's also another level where i think talking to his family about it means he'd have to formulate this fact into words which is difficult when he's not really accepted it himself, and on top of that, he would need to carry his family's grief and he's just not ready to do that. there's like a weird thing about talking to people who are already grieving you. i always felt really weird about that when talking to [friends/relations] who were terminally ill. light's relationship with his mother is kind of unexplored in canon but i wanted to go into it i think because your mother is someone who holds a unique spot in your life, i think, assuming you have a good relationship with her, and there is that reported phenomenon where people who are about to die tend to call out for their mothers. i guess this might be controversial but i think it's textually supported that light really cares about his family. i dont think light is ready to look at them and see them looking at him like he's someone who's already gone, and see all the things he never got to do with/for them. i honestly dont think hed survive it
ultimately it was really important to me that light died for no reason and that he didn't really have any material impact on anything. he dies trying to save a child, but someone else saves the kid first. light didn't have to take action at all. but of course, he did
As L stares, reaching hands scoop the toddler off the street from the other side.
i think in a sense it's up to personal opinion whether light had an impact or whether his friendship with L mattered at all before he died. after all, L died like an hour later, and it's not like he had anyone to pass those memories on to. he didn't even know light's surname. the memories of their last day together only exist with each other, and now they're both gone, so did it really matter? what does it mean to matter anyway? do you have to leave a legacy? is it enough that light managed to be L's only friend in the hours before L stopped existing? probably?
It's dark now. Properly dark. It's a new moon tonight, and though the stars do their best, there's little that can cut through the blackness in its absence.
...
L stares up at the moonless sky.
...
It might have been nice to die with the moon.
ofc light's name is written with the kanji for moon. just a silly joke lol.
L's death is something that's more likely to happen when you're alone, by the way. he gets mugged because he's an easy target sitting alone on a park floor. too bad he didn't have more friends and his only friend is dead.
also, the fact that he's a detective who gets murdered in a random act of crime was sort of another nod to the futility of the whole thing that light struggles with in canon. like, work your ass off, solve crime after crime, bring people to justice, but it never ends. crime continues. so is there a point? (yes, obviously.) but that's just a return to the struggle for legacy and meaning, where it's hard not to wonder whether the thing you're doing matters if it's not permanent / if you didn't solve something for good / if you didn't leave a mark that will never fade. i dunno. i think L did enough good in his lifetime. it wasn't enough to save him, but everyone dies eventually, so maybe it doesn't really matter?
i didn't want to give either of them the dignity of a full final thought. light definitely doesn't realise what's happening in the moment before he dies because he didn't see the truck, so i think he didn't have a chance to formulate one.
L watches a look of relief cross Light's face in the split second before the truck horn blares.
L of course gets cut off mid-sentence, just like he'd implicitly feared he might - trying to check things off the list, tie things off, before he's done:
What might a good final thought be? A final sight? He wonders if he could possibly find a star before
hopefully if you read the fic you got something out of it! it is, i think, intentionally pretty hollow and futile feeling, but not in a way that's supposed to make you feel hopeless or nihilistic. well, i hope not. i think there's something really cathartic that comes with the kind of closure you get specifically from accepting that sometimes there's no closure. that's how i felt writing it, so hopefully reading it is something similar. i dunno!
#jeeeeezus#i dont expect anyone to read these in depth or at all btw im kinda just pleased to have somewhere to write my thoughts out#this ended up being more a treatise on mortality than about the fic but 😬#it's also sufficiently about the fic... i hope#asks#death note#rookfic#thank you for asking! i appreciate it!#rookthots#i dunno if i said anything here that wasnt already in the fic really but it was still good to write it all out u know#eta: i started a thread i forgot to tie off but basically L operates in what *is*#meanwhile light operates in what *should be*#which is what cements him as an idealist vs L's realism
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our chapters average at 27,000 words, the total fic length is already 3x the average novel length, and we lost one of the authors working on this fic. it must be so nice to only have to endure the wait for a chapter to be uploaded so that you can interact with it rather than being the one to actually write it.
im going to be cruel (no pun intended) to be kind: this is such an intense externalisation of blame. you are the ones in control of the fic length; the chapters could handle some heavy editing and it wouldnt make them any less wonderful (such as regarding the descriptions of mike and will's internal thoughts, not the action between the characters themselves). fic is free and its a gift to be able to read works that inspire our hearts and minds while we wait for the show, but then again, when at the stern of a juggernaut work such as this, one that will inevitably have many followers chomping at the bit on tumblr as well as ao3 (as you designed it to have!), you surely must be aware of something that only usually exists in professional marketing spaces involving customers + brand IP: the relationship between consumer and creator, and what they can give each other.
not 'owe each other' - nothing is owed, except perhaps basic human kindness. fans want your work, and its free, so we should be grateful; likewise, you want readers, feedback and clicks, and that should be free, too. but in order for this to work smoothly, there has to be fair give and take. i mean, if you wanted to monetize the fic i'm sure many people would pay to read it, but thats beside the point here.
what fans of this fic simply want is the same honesty and self-awareness from you that they might expect from any artist who has embarked on such am ambitious project. and this doesnt just mean transparency about potential uploading dates (which is already much appreciated by the majority!), or notifications about how hard it is to balance work and life (something most people on the planet struggle with). it means total honesty and hard answers. people like to know where they stand. plenty of writers (both professional and fan alike) abandon works for months, years at a time, and if the work is THAT good, people will always be thrilled to see a return. it's the mucking people about that is what destroys relationships - no matter how good your reasons are.
your fic is wonderful and very, very memorable. you could take a big, undefined hiatus and people would, im sure, return, including me. seeing you admit that you have been prioritizing this fic over your mental health does not inspire confidence either, or even comfort - do i want to read something that has caused the creator such harm?
i think everything about this process would be happier for everyone if you set boundaries that work for you and didn't place blame elsewhere. after all, as you said, it's just a fanfic. it doesnt matter if you don't finish it. it doesnt matter if it takes all the way to s5 for 10.2 to release. everyone would, though, appreciate you taking a stance and being consistent (and therefore fair) to both yourselves and the readers.
please feel free to not post this publicly or do as you wish with it.
hello! thank you for your feedback and for sharing it in a way that is both kind and respectful. you make many valid points that i agree with -- we are in control of the word counts and could stand to edit down more, and we do recognize where being transparent about the reasons behind the chapter delays might not inspire confidence or comfort. i do, however, think that isolating one response/chain of responses to a particular ask is a little unfair, so i'd like to provide additional context.
i do not think that it's fair to say that we haven't been honest, self-aware, or fair, because we have been incredibly transparent throughout the entire run of the fic (over a year) about our writing process. just last month suni said she hadn't been working on 10.2 at all because abby had been visiting her house, and readily took ownership of that fact. there was a 4-month wait between chapters 9.1 and 9.2, and i was very open about the fact that i simply needed a break for at least the first of those months because i didn't want to write it. we have continued to maintain several times that we are not abandoning the fic, even if it takes longer between chapters, and have tried to stay as active as possible on the blog because we know that seeing us interact with asks Does inspire confidence. if you just scroll down and see how we have answered other asks inquiring about the upload, we responded kindly and respectfully.
what you interpreted as externalization of blame in that one (1!) ask response was me trying to provide perspective to someone who clearly lacked it. we understand that people will be frustrated about chapter delays, especially if we keep pushing them back, and this is also something that we have received feedback about before and tried to implement; however, it is also a double-edged sword where if we don't give an estimated upload, people get upset, or we give an estimated upload that we think is completely reasonable for us to achieve and then hurdles get in the way, whether it's writer's block or work or time with friends. i absolutely get the frustration on the receiving end, but something i have learned from being in this fandom for two years is that a pretty big majority of those who are interacting with fanworks are not creating it themselves, hence why my response -- while snippy and annoyed, because i was matching the energy, and will not apologize for that -- was contextualizing the whys behind the chapter delay: the chapters are long, the fic is long, we are down one entire body from where we started. the intention was not to shuck blame off of ourselves, but i get that intentions don't always translate into effect, so it's understandable that it was received differently.
we don't always respond to things perfectly. when we have a million and one asks inquiring about the next upload, one stray one that comes off the wrong way is likely going to set us off, because we are people, and this is not a job. we have set a boundary by disabling anon, and again, i cannot stress enough how much i appreciate that you've come to us with this feedback off-anon and with respect and decency. i get where you are coming from and again, agree with a lot of your points.
the only other thing i want to make clear is that this fic, no matter how much attention its garnered, should not be treated as a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors anything where the exchange of money is involved. not only is it unfair to apply this standard to fanworks, where it is illegal to monetize such content, but the entire purpose of fanworks is to celebrate what you are a fan of together. when you apply expectations on either end -- i am a fan of this work, therefore, people should create timely content for it; i am creating this fanwork, therefore, people should interact with it -- defeats the entire nature of fan-created work as a whole. while we have continued to be vocally grateful for the love and support our fic has been shown, we both maintain that we would continue writing and continue uploading even if we were getting less than half of the amount of interaction that we do. it's nice to have interaction, but not necessary, because we what write and post is done because we love it, and it's shared so that we can look back on it, so our friends can enjoy it, and anyone else who might want to. we are, of course, excited to share that world with anyone who cares -- we created the blog and the promo because we wanted to share it -- but that does not mean that the relationship between us and our readers should have expectations. we are all creating and enjoying this work for free for the sake of love for the characters, as the star trek obsessed housewives of the 60s (and the law) have intended.
i feel like this response is a bit jumbled so i apologize if anything isn't clear or hard to understand. thank you again for your time!
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Happy One Year Anniversary to Boy King AU!!!! 🎉
Okay wait before I start talking, look at these close ups and the process!! Aren't they so beautiful aaaahhhh
Wow, can you believe it’s really been a whole entire year since my very first post about this AU? Well technically I first started talking about the statuette a day earlier, but the very first sketch was exactly a year ago!! Let us not forget the incredibly prophetic tag on that post: “also in the sense of this au i think the only ship that would work(historically accurate wise) is Vettonso.” Who knew that after that my entire life would devolve into vettonso, this specific period of history, and the lovely combo which is Boy King AU. Also wow this means it’s taken me almost a whole entire year to actually draw a joint portrait of them hahaha. I drew this sketch around the beginning of the AU, but never finished it. It’s fine though because this one is a lot better, and I’m in love with it. Took me a year to draw a couple portrait, and took me almost a whole entire month to finish said piece.
Okay let me explain this piece, which I am very obsessed with!!! I dragged the process out more than I usually would, but I’m glad, because it was so enjoyable. But also look at that fucking crown, no wonder this took almost a month. Usually I’d write like 50 paragraphs detailing the characterization. HOWEVER! I’ve spent over a month writing little bits of characterization, mostly for fun, but also in preparation for this very post. A lot of the earlier ones, I had this drawing in mind, thinking on how I could expand on the ideas I was drawing. Though there’s definitely some things I could still write about. I’ll probably continue to write more Lore a Days, but yeah, they basically amounted to this drawing where you can actually see the characterization I was talking about displayed. Anyways, here are the explanations of bits in the drawing:
First of all, this is some part of the long process of their wedding. Look at the married couple!! Look at their rings!!!
Okay, but why are there two, almost identical looking pieces?? Because look at their hands!! I talked a lot about how Fernando is the one to give out affection more easily, especially in public, where he knows he can easily fluster Seb. He’s acting all grumpy and out of it, I mean to be fair, it’s probably been such a long ceremony across weeks. But he notices Seb is out of it too, just better at keeping his smile (let’s be honest, even if he’s distracted, he’s super smug.) So Fernando catches him off guard by squeezing his hand. Before that, as you can see, Fernando is just resting his hand on Seb’s outstretched palm, like that one scene from Succession. Very: yes I’m getting married, but I’m not happy about it. The combination of Fernando refusing to even touch him more than lightly beforehand but now going full force, them being in public, and Seb already being distracted catches Seb so off guard he has to try to cover his blush with his fan. He thought Fernando was being super impolite, but now he’s the impolite one!! Getting all blushy and giggly over a simple display of affection, perhaps even ha-
So. Their crowns. Seb’s wearing the crown of Austria, because he is in fact only a king still! Also, because I really wanted to try drawing it after I wimped out of it before in this drawing. Fernando’s a king as well by the point, but the fact he’s wearing only a tiara-like hairpiece is to represent how much of an outsider he still is. At this moment, he’s just Seb’s wi- ,I mean husband, to all these guests. Of course this bitch wears a black veil instead of a white one, to signal that he’s mourning the loss of his autonomy and personhood. Don’t worry too much about his mental state though, considering he’s not depressed enough to be able to resist teasing Seb.
The fan, oh my god. Back in this era, people would gift/make fans for basically any occasion. To symbolize an event, to celebrate something, to show a story, etc etc. I wish I could have drawn something more narrative, but I think the bull vs. horse is good enough. Also you can see those same symbols on the pendants they’re wearing!! I’m so happy when I can fit irl, modern stuff like that into these drawings, it feels so clever!!
It’s so funny, I wrote a lore a day from a prompt about what they’d be like when doing a joint portrait, while I was already almost through painting a dual portrait of my own! So I got to explain some stuff like their clothing colors and poses before I even posted this. I feel very coy about that still honestly.
Hmmm what else? It feels so weird to not expand on the characterization, considering I already did it for myself weeks in advance. I can’t imagine what it’s like opening this read more, and seeing more than 10 in-text citations. Happy reading!!!
Happy anniversary to this wonderful, crazy AU that makes me download 500pg German papers about 18th century etiquette. I drew a couple pieces of fanart before this AU, but I definitely think it jumpstarted my insanity about drawing/making AUs, and literally is what made me insane about Vettonso in the first place. Remember, if I hadn’t learned about Joseph I/Charles VI, most of my blog probably wouldn’t exist in it's current form. Thank you if you’ve stuck around since the beginning, or if you’re even just learning about it now!! It’s so incredibly niche but I’ve had so much fun researching and building this world and these characterizations, and I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve made in the process. I hope I can draw/write many more things in the future. I think next, I’m gonna maybe open up requests. I’d like to try to either write ficlets or draw chibi comics about specific Lore a Day posts on request. I think that’d be a lot of fun, but also will probably kill me. We’ll see!! Anyways. PPlease enjoy this absolute labor of love, which is a result of a year’s worth of work.
#idk why I decided that the best time to write all that was right when I have to sleep#who cares about the race!? its boy king au day!!!!!!#waughhhhhh i cant believe its been a yearrrrrrrrr#they are my sons. my babies. borderline ocs im ngl.#i fear that one day soon imma lose my interest in f1 but then just keep posting niche fanart LMFAO#look forward to that day <3#weird to think its been an entire year and think about how much has changed since that day#im really glad ive stuck with this even though its gotten hard for me sometimes#the past month or so has been a lot more creative than i thought#and im glad it could all result in this#it was so weird drawing this over like a month#i didnt wanna finish it too soon and then dislike it when the day actually came#so thats actually why i started writing lore a day. so i could have smth creative to do in the meantime#again. ty if youve been with me since teh beginning of this and if youre just seeing this now. i love you all dearly#thank you for supporting me and this crazy idea :) it makes it 100x more enjoyable#f1#formula 1#<- SOOOOO FUNNY TO TAG THESE LMAO#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#boy king au#catie.art.
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