#this is about people who complain online but refuse to put any actual effort into learning their history and tradition

[propalitet]

"i don't feel connected to my culture"

You spend all of your time online speaking in english, only reading books in english and watching tv shows in english. You don't go to museums or visit historical buildings in your town, you don't question people older about their lives about how they used to live. You dislike the folk clothing of your people because you do not educate yourself about it. You find tradition "cringy" or gross.

At some point you have to realize that no one will teach you about your culture if you do not seek that knowledge out.

[asirensrage]

Bish you made me lose my Discord bet, 10 dollars he didn't make it

This is why no one likes you.

How fucked up do you need to be to apparently not only wish someone's dog was dead, but joke about making bets on it too?

You know, I was fine minding my own business and working on my own fics and art, giving you a crumb or two as you claw at my skirt in my inbox for me to turn my gaze to you. But you're so desperate for my attention, for any attention really, that you always have to try to have the last word and you push buttons that should be left alone because you're not getting the reaction you want. We do this every time and you never learn.

This doesn't work the way you think it will. You're frantically pushing the shock button and continuously ending up surprised when you get electricity instead of the result you think you deserve despite all the warning signs in place.

If you put an ounce of the effort you gave sending copy and pasted anon messages to at least 16 people (based on my notifications because I'm tagged in every ask you sent), in your own work or even in actual positive interaction with other people, you wouldn't be festering in the jealousy you so clearly seem to be suffering from. Your bitch ass whining is old. It's been old since years ago when you started this hate spree against one person and turned towards me after I kept pointing out the fallacies in all of your claims. And since you continue to have no proof, you avoid offering it by either changing the subject or resorting to name-calling like a six-year-old.

Then again, all the children I know actually learn from their mistakes and move on. You don't.

You whine and complain and instead of actually doing anything about it, instead of finding people who enjoy the same things you do and creating your own community (big or small) or spending your efforts on your own creations, you lash out at people who either refuse to give you the time of day or the attention you desperately crave.

Grow the fuck up. It's time to get offline, babes, and go wander into a bog. Maybe the fairies will spit you back out again the moment you open your mouth, but by then time will have passed in the mortal realm and hopefully, therapy will be free and mandatory because you clearly need it if your idea of a good time is trying to force people out of online spaces for the sheer fact that you don't like them. No one gives a shit, anon.

If this is how you act as an anonymous figure, then yeah, I can understand why you crave any type of interaction because your lonesome ass must be struggling for some kind of connection. This isn't it though. You can do better.

In the meantime, leave people alone and go fuck yourself.

[whatiwillsay]

submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me.  but i am very emotional right now.  i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience.  ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support.  have you been financially impacted by this?  we can raise money.  do you need therapy?  we can help you find the support you need.  this community is unequivocally here for you.  whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will.  you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this.  i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened.  this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do.  this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

[girl-in-the-tower]

Idia and Vita 3, 5, 6, 10, 12, 13, 15, 16, 21

3. Describe their relationship dynamic.

I want to say that they’re a mix between a gamer couple and a goth one, haha.

Though more seriously, they’re the sort of stable relationship that gets stronger with time I would say, in that they both understand each other so well they function very well when they have to be in sync. They both consider the other to be that one person who gets where they’re coming from, but also to hold them accountable when they mess up. Idia knows quite well that Vita won’t let him get away with anything if she thinks he’s in the wrong, and neither will he hold back from criticizing her if he thinks it’s deserved. They exchange banter quite often. It’s not unusual to see them trash talk each other, even when they’re on the same team since they can be quite competitive.

They both push each other to improve in subtle ways. Because they’re both geniuses they tend to have a lot of conversations where they’re play-fighting ideas, trying to find the flaw in the other’s argument and this often helps them look at things from different perspectives. Their fields of expertise are quite different but they do make an effort to keep up with the other’s research.

Vita tends to be the more dominant one simply because she has a more forceful personality in general. She knows what she wants and how to get it and won’t let anybody get in her way, which usually means that she leads and Idia follows. At least on the surface. In private they tend to be on equal terms since they feel more at ease, but Idia doesn’t complain about letting Vita be in charge when they’re out in public. It means that he can avoid talking with other people, after all. Or at least that is what it should mean theoretically, but instead, Vita keeps nagging him about being more confident and self-assured. She is a proponent of tough love.

Vita also tends to be the more physically affectionate one between the two of them, though usually in private. In public, she mostly sticks to teasing him instead. Though Idia claims to find it annoying and unwelcome, he doesn’t really tell her to back off either and even returns her affections occasionally when he gets around his self-conscious nature. It’s quite usual for Larna and Ortho to catch Vita playing with Idia’s hair, or Idia massaging her shoulders when they’re gaming together.

Their online gaming friends usually joke that they’re a package deal - MoodySamurai and IronQueen. Their coordination is scary to behold since it almost looks like they’re reading each other’s minds, knowing exactly what the other needs even before they ask for it. They tend to share their victories and even other aspects of their gaming lives - such as both of them usually getting into the same types of games. Though when it comes to gacha games they tend to have vastly different tastes and get quite competitive with one another too.

Because they’ve known each other for so long, they find it easier to be honest with the other and as a result understand the other better than themselves at times. They take their status as equals quite serious too, though they do have one major source of constant conflict: Ortho’s existence. Vita is rather wary of the young boy which Idia finds distressing, but even though they agreed not to bring this subject up again it still continues to bother them. They know they should talk about it, but Idia’s aversion towards conflict, coupled with Vita’s tendency to default to supporting Idia in situations of such importance means that they haven’t resolved anything yet.

5. How would they describe each other?

Idia often says that Vita is like the villainess of an otome game: haughty, arrogant and needlessly cruel. She tends to look down on others and criticize them as she sees fit, though he also doesn’t seem to find that a bad thing either. Idia would also remark on Vita’s intelligence and drive, which he might criticize as too much for an otaku like him, but he does think her driven nature suits her well. He has admitted more than once that when it comes to knowledge regarding medicine and the human body she’s an expert. He also notes that she’s very attractive, often in comparison to himself, and would then follow up by saying that based on looks they’re not matched well at all.

Vita often defaults to praising all of Idia’s qualities - by which she means the things she herself finds attractive in him, such as his intelligence and devious nature. She is especially fond of his occasionally haughty outbursts and encourages him to be more open with his opinions just to catch a glimpse of it. She finds his interests endearing too, especially his enthusiasm for his games and idol group. It does come across that she holds him in high regard even if she does end up criticizing him a lot and she also makes no secret of the fact that she’s smitten with his odd, ghoulish appearance. Idia isn’t sure if he should be flattered or not.

6. What do they love about each other?

They both admire each other’s intelligence, to be honest. The fact that they can keep up with the other’s thought process and understand their motivations to such an intimate degree while other people might find them difficult to interact with means that their bond is very strong. Not that they would really say this out loud, since Idia thinks only normies are so open with their feelings and Vita believes there is no point in stating the obvious. They each appreciate how devious the other can be since it means they can test out whatever plan they are considering right now by running it by the other, though given that they often do this by stating it’s “just a thought” it might lead to some arguments regardless.

Idia’s stubbornness is charming to Vita as well. She admires strong convictions, even if she does not necessarily agree with some specifically, and adores it when he starts to speak his mind without holding back. She’s also professed several times that she is in love with his odd appearance, the strangeness of it having a certain appeal to her and she makes it a point to compliment him on it as often as possible. Idia always claims she’s just making fun of him but this doesn’t really deter her at all. If she wants to speak her mind she will, regardless of his complaints. She’s known him long enough to be aware that underneath it all he does enjoy being praised like that and is simply putting up a front after all.

For Idia, Vita’s strong will and confidence are very attractive. He doesn’t want to admit it out loud, and often will deflect when asked about what he thinks her qualities are, but he feels more at ease knowing he has a mentally strong partner like her. She’s not prone to falling apart or displaying clinginess and for a hermit like him, it’s comforting to know that they can live independently from each other even when they are in a relationship. He doesn’t feel suffocated by the attention and that makes him appreciate her more. He also thinks that her appreciation for the macabre is oddly cute, though he isn’t sure what exactly it is that makes him think so.

10. What are their love languages?

For Vita, it’s Quality Time and Physical Touch! As long as she’s in Idia’s presence she feels content and at ease. They mostly just play video games or discuss various matters, personal or work-related. But given that Vita generally acts very facetious towards others, she finds such moments where she can be unapologetically truthful very relaxing. It also helps that when they’re gaming, Idia is usually too distracted by what’s happening on the screen to actually notice that she’s moved closer to him and by the time he does, Vita has already settled in her new seat and has no intention of leaving any time soon. It’s really at times like this that he can’t help but remark how cat-like she really is.

Idia likes Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts! He’s got a bit of an ego hidden under all that self-deprecation which usually comes out when he’s praised and makes him get a bit ahead of himself, and as Vita is acutely aware of how much he enjoys being complimented she makes sure to always chime in with a comment or two. It really makes him feel better to hear her say such things even if a big part of him still refuses to fully believe it. However, when it comes to gifts he’s more straightforward. Since Vita usually gets him merchandise of his favourite shows and/or idol group he tends to be very picky when it comes to the quality and appearance. It can be quite a handful buying gifts for him due to how high his demands usually are, but Vita has him figured out already so it has become increasingly easy during the years.

12. What would happen if they never met?

I’ve talked about this before, but if these two had never met, I believe Vita wouldn’t really have had the drive to go against her mother. She’d have continued to act and behave according to her expectations which would have led to her building up a lot of rage and resentment with no outlet for her feelings. She’d also have lacked any semblance of support and encouragement, as though Idia is not particularly good at cheering people up, he’s never commented negatively on her pursuits in a serious manner. He’s always let her behave as she saw fit, which in turn made her more eager to reclaim her independence. Had it not been for him, I think that she’d grown up to be really the opposite of herself thus much colder, more formal, very ladylike in all her behaviour and extremely intolerant of others. She’d never have befriended Agatha or even stayed too much in Idia’s presence. For her, he’d simply have been the disgusting heir of the Shroud family that they’d have to avoid.

For Idia, I think that Vita gives him another rock to lean on. Somebody who has his back and will not falter in front of any possible difficulties they might encounter. I think that is something that he really wants in his partner since he does tend to be the type who gives up easily if he encounters too much opposition. Having Vita at his side, makes him feel a little more confident in himself as there’s somebody on his side, but also keeps him in check since she refuses to let him fall by the wayside.

13. Who dies first? How does the other one react?

I’m thinking Vita dies first, most likely of old age. Idia feels like the world is coming to an end since he never imagined not having her in his life, though with the support of their children and Larna he manages to pull through. He respects her wishes to bury her in the family crypt but asks Mors to hold off reanimating her until he passes away as well since he knows he wouldn’t be able to deal with seeing his wife moving about but not recognizing him at all. He spends a lot of his days as an old man working and talking to a picture he has of her on his workbench, and when he also passes away he’s buried alongside her. At Morta’s request neither end up being reanimated, but just preserved, since she feels it would be better like this for both of them.

15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

I think their whole childhood together qualifies! As childhood friends, and due to having been engaged since young, they ended up spending a significant amount of time with each other which led to their present-day familiarity. They’re not sure how, but they somehow both became fixtures in the other’s life and thus had shared quite a few moments with each other.

Among the most significant ones had to be when Vita received Larna as an engagement present from the Shrouds. The puppy was a Jupiter Conglomerate breed that had its typically violent nature suppressed and would thus serve as a faithful companion instead. Its strength made it quite a formidable bodyguard as well, and his friendly nature towards her really surprised Vita. She had not been allowed any pets before as her mother considered them dirty and high-maintenance, but even she couldn’t actually refuse such an extravagant gift without bringing shame to the family.

Vita ended up bonding with the hellhound rather quickly, as did Larna to her and the two were inseparable after that. To Idia, who was also interested in the idea of a cool pet like that, it seemed incredibly unfair that Vita should have one when he didn’t. He ended up feeling quite resentful over it for a while, much to Vita and Ortho’s confusion, who weren’t sure why he seemed so out of sorts whenever he came over to the Dies mansion or Vita and Larna came over to theirs. Larna had shown quite a lot of interest in Idia as well, so it wasn’t like the dog was ignoring him, but Idia still seemed rather content with casting himself in a victim narrative. Moreover, it took Vita a while to realize what his issue was and once she did she proposed to him that they could share the dog. She would be the mother and he could be the father, so it would be like they were playing house together and he’ll have just as much claim over him as she did.

Though Idia took it mostly as a victory since he obtained what he wanted, to Vita is was more like a promise that they would stay together for a long time as hellhounds like Larna tend to live very long and often past their owners’ death. Idia agreeing to have co-ownership to the dog meant that he was willing to keep them both in his life for a long period of time, which to Vita, who had recently come around to the idea of being engaged to him, became a very pleasant notion. In a way, it was their own version of reinforcing their engagement even if Idia wasn’t entirely aware of the implications. Or if he was, he didn’t want to admit to them.

16. What do other characters think about this relationship?

Most are surprised to find out about their engagement, I imagine, and out of everybody, Ortho is perhaps the most supportive. He sees Vita as part of the family already and it makes him glad to see that Idia feels at ease around her and is more open and confident. Together they often end up trying to convince Idia to go outside more and interact with others.

Vita’s family is against the relationship, however, mostly on account that Vita’s mother fears that their reputation as the Death Mages will resurface once again due to their connection with the Shroud family. She vehemently opposed the union back when it was proposed and even now forbids Idia any access to their house or even the mention of his name. She would rather pretend that this whole relationship doesn’t exist.

Idia’s parents and Vita’s grandfather on the other hand regard this relationship as a very good opportunity to achieve what each of them wants. In the Dies’ case, they require financial support and a means of preserving their family traditions through any means necessary and the Shrouds can provide, while getting in return the secrets to transmutation that the Dies guard very carefully against prying eyes. To them, it’s a very fortuitous union since both sides are being happy with their situation now to a certain degree.

21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

Their fight during the Culture Festival at Night Raven College, I would say. Mostly because it is the one incident in which neither of them really backs down so it leads to a lot of tension and an exchange of words neither really mean, but can’t take back either. It causes a bit of a fracture in their relationship since they’re too prideful to admit that they messed up and once Vita says they won’t be able to see each other for a while it really leads to an even bigger misunderstanding between them, that only festers due to the events that take place in episode 6. Yet, in a way, this could have been a fortunate turn of events as well, due to the fact it means that both of them were forced to realize how much they care about the other.

Vita’s return home, made her realize that she misses the freedom she has with Idia, as well as the support he inadvertently gives her. When they’re together, Vita feels like she’s finally in control of her own situation and can conduct herself as she sees fit. She’s treated like an equal, like somebody who also has a voice and isn’t just a pawn to be shifted around at the behest of someone else. Without Idia, she feels like she’s lost her partner in crime and her support system.

Idia also realizes the many sacrifices that Vita has always made for him, and continues to make regardless. He’s always taken for granted the fact that she would be by his side, and now that he’s faced with the reality of it all, he isn’t sure how to proceed. Without Vita to keep him more grounded, he slips much easier into his tendency to disassociate with everything around him and indulge himself in his coping mechanisms. He hasn’t realized how much he needed and appreciated her presence and care until he had to do without it.

They really become more appreciative of each other after that.

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)

So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.

But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.

So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.

So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.

The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.

So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.

This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.

... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.

As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.

... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 

It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!

Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.

Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.

... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.

Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.

Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.

Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.

Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.

Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/

Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.

Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.

... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...

Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.

And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.

Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.

Speaking of creepy...

This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.

And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!

Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.

That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.

Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.

Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.

Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.

Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!

Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.

One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.

Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).

After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.

Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!

Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.

But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.

... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.

But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.

As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.

And this is where it get’s freaky.

Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.

Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.

Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.

Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!

But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.

Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.

As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.

This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.

Ushio picks C.

Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.

And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.

Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.

Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.

Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.

And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.

This retrospective will continue ASAP.

Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[maibi]

Dying

Dabi x reader

Warnings: kinda an open ending, sick!reader (pancreas problems), a little bit of cursing, sad topics T_T Might contain a certain spoiler about Dabi’s past.

Summary: based on the story ‘I want to eat your pancreas’ but with my own twists here and there. You were sick and Dabi was able to manage you just fine. He was not the caring type, but maybe he changed a little because of you. Teenager! Dabi and teenager! Reader. (Honestly I really recommend you read the light novel of I want to eat your pancreas, cuz holy shit that thing made me feel so many emotions at once)

“It’s your fault for finding my diary, I didn’t tell you to pick it up”, you said as you were happily walking behind Touya while he clearly told you to stop following him. “I mean who does that? Opening the diary of a stranger? You must have been pretty curious, hm.”

“I opened it because I had to find to owner, no more to the story. And why are you still following me? It’s been three weeks since that incident, get over it”, Touya said annoyed.

“Because, my dear Dabi”, you said as you quickened your steps so that you were in front of him, walking backwards with your face pointing his way. “You were the one that found my diary AND you’re the only one who doesn’t give a shit that I’m dying.”

“First of all, I told you not to call me Dabi anymore and second of all, why are you happy that I don’t care about your death? Aren’t you like, supposed to be sad about that?”

“Ah dear Dabi”, you said again, to work on his nerves, ”you do not understand the brain of a dying person.”

Ever since you found out he had a nickname for his online games, you decided to call him by that name whenever you tried to annoy him. He told you not to use it, but if he really hated it that much, he could have put effort onto stopping you. But he didn’t.

“I thought you had pancreas problems, not brain damage”, he said. You weren’t sure if he was being serious or not, but you being you, you didn’t really care about that stuff. You just spoke your mind.

“I mean, my brain does hurt ever since I met you, but my pancreas is really the one with issues”, you said.

Your first encounter with Touya was in school. Though both of you never really said anything to each other you did see each other quite often. Your real encounter, the one that made both of you talk to each other, was the one in the hospital. You had left your diary on a seat and Touya had picked it up. Because he wanted to know who it belonged to, he had read a part of your story. A story that was only meant for you to read and for other’s to see after your death. A kind of gift you wanted to leave behind for your loved ones.

Ever since then you just kind of stuck to him, not caring what others might think. You had a bubbly personality anyways, people would just assume it was you being nice again. You realized that he didn’t treat you any different ever since he got to know your truth that you had been hiding, the fact you were slowly dying because of your pancreas. And because of that realization you just knew he would be the perfect person to be around with. He didn’t really liked your company all the time and he wasn’t ashamed to tell you, but he never shut you out meaning he probably didn’t mind your presence that much.

“Funny. You know what would be more fun, if you actually left me alone”, he said as he grabbed you by the shoulders and lightly pushed you aside. He quickened his steps and tried to get rid of you. But you were a dedicated person and you would get what you wanted.

“Do you have plans for Saturday?”, you boldly asked.

“Besides reading, no”, he casually answered as you kept walking behind him. You had noticed that he had started walking faster, so you also spend up .

You took a small sprint so that you were walking in front of him again. You stopped walking and turned around. When you did that he stopped in track, looking confused at you. You raised both eyebrows and laughed. He hadn’t caught on and it was pretty funny to see that. “That means you’re free to hang with me, am I correct?”

You knew he couldn’t lie for his life, and that he couldn’t make up an excuse to not spend a day with you. His face scrunched when he realized he had fallen in your trap. You started laughing loudly. “I’ll meet you at the station at 1 p.m. Be on time, you wouldn’t want to make a girl wait now do you?”

He shook his head while closing his eyes. You could tell he wasn’t the happiest about it, because in the end you had stolen his free day. He was the type of person to not be that active. He didn’t like doing stuff, or going out. He liked to spend his days inside with a book or by playing games. Even while playing his games he wasn’t interested in teaming up with others so he always played solo. You laughed at him for it, but he called it independence.

He let out a sigh as he walked past you. “Don’t forget! You refused to give me your number so I won’t be able to remind you through text!”

He stopped walking and took his bag off of his shoulder. He opened his bag, but you weren’t able to see what he was doing. He zipped his bag closed and threw it over his shoulder. He walked in your direction as you tilted your head to the side, looking questionable. When he was in front of you he stuck a sticky note on your forehead. Without saying another word he turned around and left.

You took the sticky note and read what was on there. It was his number. You knew he wouldn’t forget about the so called date, but he still gave you his number meaning he probably enjoyed your presence. “Dabi Boy so cute!” You screamed to annoy him one last time.

“Don’t call me that!”, he screamed in monotone, not even looking back.

You laughed to yourself as you looked at his phone number. you started jumping around while screaming a little bit, making some people turn their faces in your direction. But you didn’t care, you were happy and the world could know this.

You excitedly saved his number on your phone and directly texted him.

“Sick girl texting, bet this is Dabi Boy!”

“I will end your bloodline if you call me Dabi Boy again.”

“So harsh Touya! That makes me sad.”

You didn’t get a response, but you weren’t really expecting one. He was the type of person to only text back when he really felt the need to, but in this situation it wasn’t really necessary.

You were excited when Saturday arrived. You had texted Touya in the morning telling him you’d wait for him. But you being the problematic teenager that you were, came late on purpose. You could feel it, he would call you out for being late because you had told him to not make you wait.

You happily hopped your way towards Touya, who was sitting on a bench with a book in his hand. You plopped next to him and grabbed his arm to get his attention. “So. What’s the planning?”, you asked.

“First of all, you are 20 minutes late and second of all you are the one that set the date so I was expecting you to make the planning”, he said while trying to pull hiss arm away.

“Aha! The answer I expected, but my dear Dabi, that’s not the way to my heart. Try again next time. As for now, I did make a planning so you’ll have to following me”, you happily said.

Of course this wasn’t a date to you guys. He knew this and so did you, that’s why he didn’t feel the need to answer on your remark. it’s not like he wasn’t your type or that he wasn’t interesting at all, it was just that you couldn’t really attach yourself to someone when death was so near to you. Though it was hard, to not feel anything at all.

You allowed yourselves to enjoy today. From walking in the park to eating at an all you can eat restaurant and filling yourselves until you couldn’t even walk anymore. You did everything to enjoy your day and looking at the fact that Touya wasn’t complaining you were sure he was having at least a little bit fun.

“Hmm, what about love interest? What is your type? Or what kind of girls do you fall for, if your interests are limited to girls”, you smugly said.

“Never thought about it”, he just casually said as the both of you walked on the beach with your shoes in your hands.

“Boring”, you sang. “Is there really no girl in class that you think is cute? Come on there has to be at least one person.

“I don’t really pay attention to people I don’t want to engage with. But if I really have to give you an answer, I do think you look cute”, he said without a pause in his sentence.

You felt your face heat up and even if he got at least a little bit embarrassed, he didn’t show it at all. You acted like it didn’t effect you and casually shook it off. “I mean of course you think I’m cute, I look amazing”, you said as you walked in front of him while cupping your face with your hands while you stared at him.

It wasn’t really the best idea to be walking backwards with your instability. Before you knew it you were stumbling over your own feet, but before you could hit the ground Touya had you in his arms to stop you from falling.

You blinked twice, and again, and again. He did exactly the same, shocked about his fast reflexes. He pulled you up, but removed his hands from around your waist the moment you were stable on your both feet. He started walking without another word and cleared his throat.

“Thank you”, you muttered.

There was a long silence while the both of you walked. The sun was setting and you just silently followed behind him. He didn’t slow down for you and you didn’t speed up for him. You followed the steps he left in the sand and noticed how much bigger his feet were. A small laugh escaped your mouth and he confusingly turned around.

“What are you laughing about”, he said. If a random person had told you that same sentence in that tone you would have taken it offensive, but because it was Touya talking you didn’t take it serious.

“Your big toe really is… big”, you said.

He looked at you with a concerned look on his face and that made you laugh even more.

“I mean, that’s why it’s called the big toe?”, he annoyingly said. “You really search for the smallest details to make fun of me don’t you?”

“Well it’s easy to annoy you and your reactions are always priceless. Plus you’re never really offended when I call you out for stuff, that makes it all the more enjoyable. To put it shortly, you’re just able to keep up with my bullshit.”

“God, why must I have been the chosen one. She is crazy”, he said while looking up.

You were quite shocked to see this reaction. He wasn’t the type to say things like this in a sarcastic way. He wasn’t even a person that used sarcasm. So when he said that he kinda just caught you off guard. “He has chosen the words of sarcasm”, you said as if it was a miracle. “You make me prouder with every passing day.”

He looked you dead in the eye, but failed to keep a straight face. You could tell he showed a lot of emotions to you today. You finally understood how his raising eyebrows and slightly widening eyes meant he was excited about something, or how his face tilted up a bit when he had won an argument with you. You were proud to say that you were the reason behind all those expressions and you were happy to have experienced them with him.

You knew deep down that you actually liked him, but telling him would cause a problem. Besides the fact that it could ruin the friendship you had, it could also ruin the fact that he did not care about your death. It was a treasure you held. He was the only one that wouldn’t get sad when your death was mentioned and he was the only one that didn’t judge you for living this way. You didn’t want to loose that. But yet in a way it felt like he didn’t care at all. It felt like your death would mean absolutely nothing to him

He didn’t say anything on that, because he felt the same. He never knew he needed this. He never knew that opening up would lead to him feelings things that not even his books could give him. He was just clueless to those feelings. Calling you cute, was nothing out of the ordinary for him, because for him it was just a fact that could be know, and a not a secret that should be held.

“Oh, let’s watch the sunset there”, you pointed at a place on a rock that was hidden away from the public. He looked at you once before looking at that place. you started walking that way when you received a not of approval from him. “I bet it’ll look amazing”, you excitedly said. “It’s not everyday I get to watch the sunset with you.”

He didn’t budge on your flirting attempt, but looking at his slight rosy cheeks told you you had succeeded in whatever it was that you were trying to get out of him.

The both of you sat on the rock with your face pointed to the view. It was beautiful and it was a good way to end the day. Reflecting on your day with him was something that made you smile. You were able to get the best out of him. The person that did not like taking pictures, allowed you to take selfies with him. The person that was so called emotionless had rosy cheeks when you failed at a flirting attempt. You had seen him smile and laugh. You seen the confusion on his face whenever he didn’t understand something and it was heartwarming in your opinion, because he felt comfortable enough to show you all these emotions.

But here was something you had noticed. Something you had been thinking about, but never brought up. He didn’t talk about you dying for even a little bit. Whenever you brought up the subject, he tried to shake it off. You were confused, but didn’t question it. You were keeping a lot to yourself too so he probably had his reasons.

You tried to lay down on your back as you looked at the dark blue sky, stars almost visible, but just not yet. “Have you ever had your first kiss?”, you asked.

“Nope”, he replied.

“Pathetic”, you said.

“Did you?”, he asked without looking at you.

“Well I wouldn’t call you pathetic if I hadn’t kissed before”, you shrugged,”so yeah I’ve had my first kiss.”

He didn’t respond to that. “Why do you never talk about me dying”, you said.

He saw him tense up, but he didn’t respond. perhaps he didn’t feel the need to answer this, but you didn’t like it. of course it was good that he wasn’t feeling bad about it, but the least he could do was worry.

“I mean, it’s okey to talk about it from time to time, I don’t really mind. I just hoped that you cared at least a little bit. I know I told you that I didn’t like it when people got sad when they saw me, but I feel comfortable around you so I want you to at least care about me and my condition”, you said, in a soft voice.

You had never spoken this silently or with this many sad emotions. You had felt him turn around, but you didn’t look up. He was squatted down in front of you and he tilted your head up with his fingers. His actions shocked you, but he didn’t seem budged by it.

“I do care about you and I do get sad when I think about your future. But because of that I don’t talk about you dying. Because I don’t want you to be reminded of that while you are with me. I want you to only remember good memories when you are with me. So I rather didn’t want to open that conversation. But if you really thought I didn’t car, you are wrong. I care too much”, he said.

He just looked at you with soft eyes and you didn’t know what to respond. Instead of responding, you did something you hadn’t expected. Something that even left you in shock.

You kissed him. And strangely, he kissed you back as if knowing that this was about to happen.

When the both of you pulled away, you had tears falling down your cheeks. “What if I told you I was actually afraid of dying? What would you say?”

His hands were still resting on your cheeks. “I will stay right here with you until the end. I have no intention of leaving.”

[notalwaysright]

Never Try To Satisfy Those Who Cannot Be

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=257990 During my last couple of years of high school, and throughout college, I work summers at my uncle’s (my Mom’s brother’s) restaurant. I am nineteen at the time, and this is my third summer working there. We have a party of eleven people coming in on a late Saturday afternoon. The “lead” person at the table is a guy who is in his early forties or so, and the rest are apparently all related in one way or another. All of them are adults, the youngest maybe in their early twenties. I’m a very good waitress. My uncle trusts me implicitly and he understands that I know what I am doing. My uncle hates chronic complainers and charlatans that look for any excuse to get a comped or partially-comped meal. Most people at the table don’t really complain directly themselves, but they certainly support this guy in his complaints by nodding in agreement or saying things like, “Yeah, that’s right!” whenever he complains about something. Right from the get-go, he complains about anything and everything. I am too slow getting them their menus, even though I bring them over within thirty seconds of sitting them. Silverware settings are missing, either a knife, fork, or spoon. I know they are missing because he’s the one who removed them. I saw him take a spoon, fork, or knife away from each setting and toss them into a nearby tray that we used to put dirty plates when clearing the tables. The steak he ordered well-done is too well-done, and the replacement is not well-done enough even though it does not have a shred of pink in the center. The waters aren’t filled promptly enough, his dessert is far too sweet, and his decaf coffee has caffeine in it because “I can see it in there!” This goes on and on and on throughout the whole meal, which takes them over three hours to eat. Apparently, their food sucks, and our service is horrible. I wait on the whole table myself by taking each of their orders, but two other staffers help bring out their food, get drink refills, etc. Positively NOTHING they complain about is legitimate in any way whatsoever. My uncle is kept informed, and he speaks to them numerous times to codify them to virtually no avail; the complaints continue. My uncle takes me aside at one point and tells me that this jerk is just trying to get their whole check comped, which he is not going to do. Other customers have even asked me what’s going on because they’ve seen nothing worth complaining about, but they’ve certainly seen what an entitled jerk this guy is being. Their final bill is nearly $900, mostly steaks, seafood, and shellfish, all our more expensive menus items. Given their rudeness to him and particularly to me, my uncle absolutely refuses to give in to any of their demands. He even tells them that we’ve made every effort to appease them only to be met with rude, selfish behavior over things that are clearly a non-issue. He outright tells them he is not comping anything on their bill. Finally, they leave and pay the bill in full. As he writes on the check “to make a point,” the guy leaves only a 5% tip because of my “horrid, inattentive” service. He doesn’t want to leave no tip, as he doesn’t want me to think he just forgot, but he wants to be certain I know “exactly why” I am not getting my full tip. However, he didn’t notice that for parties of six or more, we add a mandatory 18% tip, and for parties of ten or more, 20%, which is what was added to his bill. So, I actually end up with a 25% tip! Not bad for serving a table full of self-absorbed a**holes! This guy leaves us a scathing review online. My uncle responds by posting point-by-point every rude thing he said and his contemptible behavior and pointing out that his food and service had been exemplary. If any doubt his word, just check his other reviews. “Oh, and by the way, I have security footage to prove all of this!” To their credit, several customers who were there that night and had witnessed what this jerk said and did left wonderful reviews for us and even mentioned my uncle and me specifically. Most of them called out the rude behavior of this guy and his family.   My uncle told me that if they ever returned, he was going to refuse them service. As far as I know, they never came back, at least not during the two subsequent years I worked for my uncle. I love my uncle, but I’m so glad to now be out of the service job environment and into an office setting! Source: https://notalwaysright.com/?p=257990

[aja154ever]

Haikyuu To the Top New Year’s Online Event! Inarizaki High School Special Team Meeting~ Karasuno Still on to the New Year’s Vibe~ 01/10/2021

The report is late, but still posting this for the record!! It’s long and detailed but the talks were really interesting so please read until the end! I promise, you won’t regret it! I also put Haikyuu pictures for easier understanding (but no seiyuu pics from the actual event besides those from the official accounts).

The event was held on 1/10 but there was an archive viewing on 1/23~24 so I watched it again <3

The event starts with a prerecorded video of a mini skit by the voice actors. The video shows the Inarizaki members at the club room at the start of the year (not animated, still images only moving once in a while).

Atsumu: I won this year, Samu! I got more New year postcards than you!

Osamu: But you’re also including the ones sent from business establishments! They don’t count!

Atsumu: Doesn’t matter! They’re addressed to my name, anyway! You’re just a sore loser!

Suna enters the room and they notice that he seems to be happy. Osamu assumed that it’s probably because he got a lot of money from New Year, but warns him that if he spends too much, Kita-san would scold him telling him to save money properly.

Atsumu: Ah! Must be nice to be you, Suna! Because we’re twins, we have to divide and share the money we get from our grandparents! I envy you!

Osamu: *sighs* If I were an only child, I'd get to buy delicious stuff and enjoy all the food by myself!

But Suna clarifies that it’s not because of the money he got why he’s happy, but actually because he got “excellent luck” from the fortune this year.

The twins didn’t expect him to bother about such things, and they said that they don’t actually believe in that because as twins they’re often told to share the same fate.

Kita enters the room and everyone greets him a Happy New Year. Kita greets back and tells them to get ready for the meeting and the practice. Osamu suddenly asks a question before they go though.

Osamu: I heard from Aran-kun before that Kita house’s “ozouni” (Japanese soup with rice cakes traditionally eaten during New Year) is really delicious. Is that true?

Kita: Ah well, it’s made by granny after all, so there’s no way it’s not.

Osamu: Please let me eat that next time!

Atsumu: That’s unfair!!! Let me too!

Kita: *chuckles* Oh, you’re pretty enthusiastic about this, huh. Well, it’s good to properly eat such food during New Year after all. I’ll let you next time.

Twins: Thanks a lot!!

Osamu: Ahhh~ Can’t wait to eat Kita house’s ozouni!

Suna: Osamu, you really do like eating, huh.

Kita reminded them to not get carried away and take care of their bodies. They then go to proceed with their meeting.

The seiyuu event starts with the Inarizaki members greeting a Happy New Year. They’re also happy that Inarizaki is the main focus of this event.

For convenience, they’ll be referred here as follows.

Miyano Mamoru (Atsumu’s seiyuu) - Mamo

Kabumoto Hideaki (Osamu) - Kabu

Nojima Kenji (Kita) - NojiKen

Shimazaki Nobunaga (Suna) - Zakki

They’re all wearing Inarizaki-themed kimonos for the occasion and showed it off with the camera tilting down to up, focusing on each of them, as they also turned around.

Kabu is wearing a matching arm warmer, which he mistakenly calls “warm armer” (Mamo corrects him laughing), that volleyball players apparently use during games. He also shares that he spent the New Year alone (due to the pandemic situation), meanwhile NojiKen went to the Haikyuu exhibit during the holiday and was really impressed with the experience.

There were also seiyuu events held last year but since the anime was still ongoing at that time they cannot fully talk about everything, but now they can go talk without any hesitation. This is also the first time that the four of them gathered for a Haikyuu event.

Zakki has been open about his love for his team in past events and this time he also expressed that with a full smile.

Zakki: I’m really very happy (that we’re all here)! *cute mini jumping/shaking gestures* Ah, i LOVE Inarizaki! I REALLY love this team, it’s the best! Even if I knew that we’d end up losing, I still felt like we were definitely gonna win.

Mamo: But we did lose

Zakki: Don’t say it!

The MC of the event entered afterwards and the seiyuus formally introduced themselves one by one (they almost forgot lol).

Karasuno was then introduced. They also appeared in a mini skit first.

Hinata arrives at the gym first. However, inside the gym Mt. Fuji appeared out of nowhere. He was surprised for a second, but then thought that he’d go climb it anyway. 

Kageyama enters the scene chasing a flying hawk.

Kageyama: Oy boke! Hinata! Catch that bird! Fly!

Hinata jumped and jumped but wasn’t able to catch it.

Kageyama: Oy! How dare you let it go! What was with those little jumps anyway? You wouldn’t reach it with that!

Hinata asked what was that all about and Kageyama said that the hawk matches Mt. Fuji. And with that, Hinata realizes that the only thing lacking for a good luck charm is an eggplant (“nasu” in Jpn).

Hinata: Kageyama! “Ore ni nasu!” (Tr: “Bring the eggplant to me,” but this is a play on the “Toss to me” line which sounds similar in Jpn “Ore ni tosu!”)

Kageyama refused, complaining about it and they started to argue.

The sound of alarm suddenly rings. Hinata wakes up from the dream*, and heads out to go to practice.

*Hatsuyume - the first dream of the year deemed to be important in Jpn culture. Dreaming of Mt. Fuji, hawk, and eggplant is particularly considered to be lucky.

The Karasuno seiyuus then join the rest in the studio saying their greetings.

Murase Ayumu (Hinata) - Ayu

Ishikawa Kaito (Kageyama) - Kaito

Haikyuu Back to the Top!

The seiyuus selected their most memorable scenes from the season.

Ayu and Zakki apparently chose the same: Hinata’s “Nice receive” scene.

Zakki particularly loves the silence that follows after the receive, and Kageyama’s “Nice receive” (he claps when it was shown on the VTR). 

He loves Inarizaki and really wanted to fight and win with them and felt very frustrated when they lost, but he can’t really help but admire this Karasuno scene. The people who were watching the game couldn’t believe what happened that everyone’s feelings synced and they all fell silent. The silence held so much meaning, he thinks that the events and all the drama that occurred for them to reach this turning point gave the scene life, despite the lack of sound, and it was really beautiful. It’s a scene made by everyone. It also happened that he was at the studio during the recording and he saw how Kaito and the director gave so much thought about how Kageyama would say the “Nice receive” line to Hinata.

Ayu adds that the Inarizaki match is indeed very important to Hinata’s growth and this scene is a testament that Hinata’s path was right, and all his efforts weren’t in vain. He also likes the monologue by Japan National Team coach Hibarida in this scene, saying that Hinata’s life as a volleyball player which would still continue from then on, was acknowledged.

Mamo and Kabu’s chosen scenes were also shown together - Twin’s Quick.

Kabu chose the last quick of the game, while Mamo chose all.

For the first quick, Mamo especially liked the moment when it zooms to Atsumu. The reverse quick was also impressive. 

Mamo: *pointing at the VTR* Isn’t this amazing? This is reverse, you know!

Kabu still doesn’t want to believe that their last quick got blocked.

Mamo chose all because of the build-up and growth that happened during the match. The quick attack was something the twins just tried on a whim, but their guts, playfulness, and talent were really amazing.

The last quick was particularly memorable to Kabu because Osamu can be seen as the more reserved of the two, and while the twins carry the same thing inside them their approach and expression of things differ. But in the last scene, Atsumu and Osamu gave their all and really synced 100% perfectly.

Mamo adds that the first and last quick had the same lines, but the tension was very different and he really liked the juxtaposition. As the actors they were also carried away and really let their voices go all out in the last one, and he even thinks that Kabu and him synced perfectly that their voices sounded very alike.

On the other hand, the Karasuno members were also asked for their opinion.

Kaito: Aahhh, no matter how many times I watch it, it’s really amazing. And because it’s the quick attack that we’ve been doing ever since, I still feel irritated, like *points at his face* this area below my eye really twitches unconsciously. That’s our attack! Don’t do it!

Ayu agrees and says that he really likes that last rotation in the game, that if it weren’t for that rotation, if it weren’t Kageyama and Hinata there, Karasuno would not have been able to block that attack. As he also shared in the Jump Festa last time, it’s theirs and they’re the ones who knew it the most so it’s only perfect that they were the ones who were able to stop that.

The next scene shown was the one Kaito picked which turned out to be unexpected to everyone - Atsumu’s happy scenes compilation.

Kaito explains that they might think that he’s just fooling around, but he actually has a serious reason for choosing this. Kageyama and Atsumu are both setters with similar personalities, they love volleyball, and are very straightforward to their dreams. And while he does like Kageyama’s demeanor, he admires Atsumu’s attitude towards volleyball so much.

Kaito: “I’m having so much fun right now!!” The way Atsumu expresses that, as a human I want to work and live a life like Atsumu who enjoys doing what he loves so much, and is able to openly express it to the world. Atsumu’s way of playing volleyball, those smiles, the voice that holds all the experiences he’s had - i REALLY like them.

Mamo was glad and grateful with the compliment and agrees, sharing that sometimes at the end of a hard day’s work he’s also like Atsumu who’d go tell himself, “Ah! Ain’t today’s me so amazing?!”

He says that Atsumu is so carefree and thinks that there’s nothing wrong with expressing how he feels at the moment, especially when he’s strong because he’s doing his best everytime. It’s the result of his efforts and he takes pride in it. That is why he can express that smile that loves volleyball very much.

The last scene was the one NojiKen selected - Kita’s “Aren’t my teammates amazing?” scene (starting from the “I don’t have any regrets” line).

While watching the VTR,

NojiKen: Ah, I’m gonna cry..

Mamo: This scene would really make you cry… I did cry during the recording.

Kabu: Aran-kuuunnn T.T

NojiKen: It’s very admirable.. Ah, I really wanted them to win..

Mamo: Ahhhh... He’s the best captain...

NojiKen shared that he was torn between choosing this scene or the scene when Kita got his uniform. During the recording the seiyuus, just like the Inarizaki team, fought with their all, only thinking about victory despite them knowing the end result.

So when the team lost, he really felt so frustrated and if it was him, he’d really want to shout and cry. But Kita-san doesn’t have any regrets, and his choice of words here showing the maturity of his heart really struck him.

NojiKen: Kita-san wasn’t crying in the scene, so during the recording I shouldn’t cry too. But after that, I did cry a lot. I think that in the corners of Kita-san’s heart he was really frustrated but hid it, and when he was left alone, he probably shed tears, too.

Mamo: Ahh, what a really nice talk this is..

NojiKen: So frustrating..

Zakki: I really wanted us to win..

For the next corner, the seiyuus were asked (beforehand) to

describe the Karasuno team and the Inarizaki team in one word.

Their answers were compiled and due to the short time allotted for discussion, only a few answers were discussed.

NojiKen: Karasuno = Turkish ice cream

They’re like that ice cream that unbelievably stretches a lot which he likens to Karasuno growing and improving consistently physically and mentally. Moreover, when you buy the ice cream, the vendor usually won’t hand it to you right away and you’d keep chasing for it, and just like that, Karasuno is a team that isn't easily “captured” by their opponents.

Zakki: Karasuno = Sticky sticky love volleyball (they were laughing at Zakki’s lack of vocabulary)

Zakki also defended his answer that well, Karasuno is sticky and stretches out too that no matter how far the opponents go they will stick to them persistently. And because they are sticky, no matter how much they stretch out they won’t get cut easily amidst difficult situations, remaining connected. And because they love volleyball, they don’t stretch out in pain, but happily.

Inarizaki = Go go go head-on love volleyball

Inarizaki has overflowing spirits and potential and they always go for any challenge, almost without limits. He thinks that if Kita-san wasn’t there to steady the hold they’d go flying too much and even collapse somewhere. And of course since they all share that love for volleyball, despite the differences they are able to face everything head-on.

Kaito, to Zakki: You’re saying something so good but because of the word choice it gets negated!

Mamo: Karasuno = comrades; Inarizaki = family

Inarizaki gives off a strong family vibe not only because the twins are literally brothers, but because of the role of each member like one is a responsible parent (Kita), an older brother (Aran), an inexpressive cheeky little brother (Osamu/Suna?), etc, and he likes it. Whereas Karasuno are more like comrades in arms fighting together.

Ayu: Inarizaki = Despair

This team has a lot of potential and it’s as if they don’t have any weaknesses. They can stop the good momentum of the opponent to get back on track, and when the momentum is on their side they also have Kita-san who can prolong that despair. He says that when he first read them in the manga, he was like “it’s impossible to beat them!”

Kaito: Inarizaki = Growth period

Inarizaki is always ever-growing all the while they're having fun, and that road to “ripening” is unstoppable, making this team a formidable opponent.

The next corner featured fortune-telling by a tarot card reader named A.M., which was then revealed to be Ayumu Murase. In private life, he revealed that he enjoys tarot card reading and does it almost everyday. He drew the cards of the other seiyuus beforehand to determine their luck in “battles” this year.

Since this corner isn’t about Haikyuu, I won’t report it in detail.

Basically they were ranked based on their luck, and Ayu explained the readings for each one of them.

Kabu

Mamo

NojiKen

Zakki

Kaito

Since Kaito ranked the lowest, he was given a lucky item - a golden volleyball.

New Year Postcard Pick up Corner

After that, they proceeded to the New Year Postcard Pick up Corner, where cards sent from fans were displayed on a board. This was led by Ayu and Kaito and two cards were picked which contained greetings and questions from the senders.

1st card - Share a moment when you felt like you got hooked on your job again (just like Haikyuu characters did to volleyball).

Ayu and Kaito both answered that it was getting to work in Haikyuu. Kaito expounds that Haikyuu reflects real life as they don’t always win, despite being the main characters. They continue to grow as actors too, and when they get to meet one another in the next seasons they all get to enjoy the new battles they face together.

2nd card - What do you think is Kageyama’s weakness?

Kaito thinks that Kageyama may be seen as strong but he’s not a perfect setter and is continuously supported by the people around him.

Meanwhile, Ayu thinks that as a setter Kageyama may be seen as smart who is good in studies as well, but then the fact that he’s actually just on the same level as Hinata in studying, is cute.

M-1/K-1/S-1/H-1 GranPri

The event then proceeds to the “Grand Prix” program, where three selected scene cuts (VTRs) for each character are shown. Each seiyuu would vote which scene they think represents the character best. After the initial voting, they’d engage in a discussion stating the reason for their choice (though because of time restriction not everyone can speak) where they can persuade others to change their votes. After that they make a final vote.

Miya-1 GranPri: Osamu

Scene 1: from Ep16

Scene 2: from Ep21

Scene 3: from Ep22

Initial Votes:

Zakki

Mamo, Kabu, Ayu

Kaito, NojiKen

Discussion: Kabu remembers that he wondered about how Osamu would talk in this scene, as he’s frustrated but chose to say such words. He talked to Mamo about it and since Mamo/Atsumu would strongly say his lines, Kabu/Osamu also settled to assert his point with more conviction (”Let me finish what I’m saying!”).

Since Kabu discussed his experience that way, other seiyuus were easily convinced to change their answer to 2. Though NojiKen states that his favorite number is 3 that’s why he voted for 3. (So yeah, this didn’t turn into a discussion at all lol)

Final votes: 2 - everyone

Miya-1 GranPri: Atsumu

Scene 1: from Ep4 

Scene 2: from Ep21

Scene 3: from Ep24

Initial Votes:

Kaito, Kabu

Mamo, Zakki, Ayu

NojiKen

Discussion: Kaito had a hard time choosing but ended up voting for 1. He says that scene 1 definitely gave a strong first impression of Atsumu. He got disappointed in Kageyama because he didn’t get thrilled on his by the book’s way of playing volleyball. Mamo adds that when they recorded this Atsumu really appeared as a strong, mysterious senpai character, and Kaito who watched it, honestly said that he’s scary. Kaito adds that there is more impact because he was on the receiving end of those words.

Everyone was a bit silent and looked like they got convinced of Kaito's answer, but Zakki begged to differ. He says that because of scene 1 being scary, people would wonder what kind of person Atsumu is, and once they see scene 2 they’d understand where he is coming from. They’d see that Atsumu is a very earnest person who goes straight forward to what he wants and has to do. In an instant, all of Atsumu’s appeal/charm as a person, as a player is shown.

Zakki: Won’t everyone begin to like Atsumu because of this scene?

NojiKen was about to defend his answer, apparently he has a proper reason this time for voting 3, but the time limit bell rang before he had the chance to do so.

Final Votes: 2 - Zakki, NojiKen, 1 - the rest

Kage-1 GranPri

Scene 1: from Ep7

Scene 2: from Ep19 (Kalm Kageyama)

Scene 3: from Ep24 (Setter Dump)

Initial Votes:

Kaito

Ayu

Mamo, Kabu, NojiKen, Zakki

Discussion: NojiKen says that scene 3 exhibited Kageyama’s sharp intellect as a setter that thoroughly thinks about the strategy. Kabu adds that with this, he thinks Kageyama was able to get even with Atsumu from the goody two-shoes remark.

Ayu thinks that scene 3 was indeed impactful on the opponent side (that’s why all Inarizaki voted for it), but for a teammate the presence of a ‘Kalm Kageyama’ is impressive as it shows a different side of him when playing so he went for 2.

Kaito finds scene 1 a very important turning point for Kageyama as Hinata makes him a king. A king is someone who can’t exist without his own people, so a king only becomes one because he is chosen. Up to now Kageyama has been nothing but a lonely king, so that act from Hinata for the first time ever officially made him the King of the Court. And from that, scene 2 is born showing a King, and then scene 3 shows that this King can also act like this.

Final Votes: 2 - Kaito, 1 - the rest

It was a surprise that after everything Kaito said, he ended up the one changing his answer but he didn’t give any explanation about it.

Suna-1 GranPri

Scene 1: from Ep19

Scene 2: from Ep19 (the old man discussing Suna’s ability)

Scene 3: from Ep20 (Suna wanting to find Kita’s weakness)

Initial Votes:

Mamo, Kabu, Ayu

Kaito

Zakki, NojiKen

Discussion: 

Mamo: 3 is Kita-san’s scene!

Zakki: And 2 is the old man’s scene!

Kaito defends 2 saying that core training is very hard and he looks up to Suna for being able to master that. But when he thought about 1 again, he says that 1 is indeed a good scene and considers changing his answer right then lol. Meanwhile, NojiKen actually wanted to choose 1 but Kita-san was in scene 3 so he voted for that.

Mamo: Well, that was Kita-san’s cute scene after all!

Zakki was about to explain about 1 but was cut by the time limit bell.

Final Votes: 4 - Zakki, 1 - the rest

Zakki explained that he likes 1 but the scene he liked the most was the exchange when Tsukki got back on Suna, so he chose 4. Mamo agrees and teases the staff that they should have chosen to put that scene in the selection instead.

Kita-1 GranPri

Scene 1: from Ep20 (scene cut starts from Aran and Kita going home until this “chanto yannen” scene)

Scene 2: from Ep20 (Kita analyzing the 2nd years one by one)

Scene 3: from Ep24 (“I’m a human invited to a monster’s ball.”)

Initial Votes:

1 - Mamo, Kabu, Zakki, Ayu, Kaito

3 - NojiKen

Discussion: NojiKen continues fooling around by choosing 3 even if he actually likes 1. Mamo says that he actually likes the scene before 1, the moment when Kita-san got his uniform and proceeds to tease the staff again to put that scene instead. But Kabu says that he likes that going home scene, surprised that Kita-san can laugh like that and Aran was also cute for getting confused at what Kita-san was talking about. Kaito adds that scene 1 also shows us the level of friendship that Kita-san and Aran have. Kita-san laughed but Aran didn’t look surprised, meaning that he has seen it before - Aran knows Kita-san’s smile.

Final Votes: 1 - everyone

Hina-1 GranPri

Scene 1: from Ep1 

Scene 2: from Ep13

Scene 3: from Ep24

Initial Votes:

1 - Mamo, Kaito

3 - Kabu, NojiKen, Zakki, Ayu

Discussion: Kaito was very hesitant in making a decision again but ended up with 1. Ayu starts the discussion saying that 1 and 2 are indeed very Hinata-like, but 3 left a big impression on him, seeing Hinata become someone who is able to give his teammates a moment to breathe in the middle of a game, showing how much he has grown. He was deeply moved when he read it in the manga and when he watched it in the anime again.

For a moment Kaito wanted to change his answer to 3, but then explains that 1 is the very starting line of To the Top. Because of that, not only Hinata but Karasuno was able to face and fight Inarizaki like this. Mamo comments on a different note. He wasn’t in the studio during the recording of 1 but when he watched it again now, he felt impressed and realized how along with Hinata Shoyo, Murase Ayumu the seiyuu has also grown a lot. That one short scene makes Ayu’s development very clear, for being able to voice act like that. Ayu was so happy and grateful he immediately changed his answer to 1. 

Final Votes: 3 - Kabu, NojiKen, 1 - the rest

New Year Postcard Pick up Corner 2

After the Granpri, they went to the New Year Postcard Pick up Corner again, led this time by Mamo and Kabu.

Mamo: Hi! We are Hyogo’s Miya twins!

Mamo reads the 1st card though there was no question, it’s from a mother writing about his 6-yr old son who loves Haikyuu, particularly Atsumu. Mamo is glad and thinks that people of different ages really do watch Haikyuu. Kabu adds that it would be nice if this can actually inspire someone in the future to play volleyball.

Mamo: Yeah, like hearing someone say that because of Haikyuu they became a setter, or a professional player.

2nd card - Do you have anything that’s like Kita-san’s concept of “Repetitive, Methodical, Thorough”?

Kabu answers that this applies to his work as a stage actor where they keep doing the same things properly everyday for months.

New year’s Play-offs

The next games that followed were more related to New Year but less of Haikyuu so I won’t be reporting them in detail too (also because it’s probably only funny if you get to watch them playing the game). The seiyuus were divided into two: Team Atsumu with Mamo, Zakki, Ayu, and Team Tobio with Kaito, Kabu, and NojiKen.

Game 1 - Guess the Situation of the First Dream: Sleep Talk Nuance Quiz

Mechanics: One of the members will sleep talk using a random line from the anime. There are four situations given where the line can possibly be used, and out of the four the other members will guess what kind of dream their teammate had. 

This game was played 4 times, with 2 turns for each team. Both teams won once.

Game 2 - Two-attack First Drawing

Mechanics: One member has to guess the word that his two other teammates will draw together. The challenge is that they can only draw using one pen stroke or without lifting their pen.

Each team only got one turn, and both didn’t get the correct answer.

With the two teams ending up in a tie, they were both declared winners and the prize is... Kita House’s Ozouni! A Hyogo-style ozouni was prepared for them. NojiKen led the serving of the food.

NojiKen: You have to do cooking properly, too. (“Oryouri mo, chanto yannen”)

The event now comes to a close. The seiyuus say their

last message to the fans.

Zakki: I hope it was made clear that this is how fun the atmosphere is during recordings. I really love Inarizaki and the Haikyuu team. I will continue to hope that there will be more chances to spend time with everyone again. Please continue supporting Haikyuu from now on too!

NojiKen: Due to the pandemic situation, voice recordings were taken separately, but still this kind of teamwork was born. During these hard times, please watch/rewatch Haikyuu a lot of times and exercise your hearts and mind. Thank you!

Kabu: I have been invited to participate in a lot of Haikyuu events since last year and then for the first time these 4 Inarizaki members have gathered, and I really had a good time. I hope you all enjoyed it too. Looking forward to your support.

Mamo: I’m really glad that I can experience youth again at my age through Haikyuu. With the current situation where the norm is no longer the usual, I’m really happy that we were able to finish and present this Inarizaki match to you, thanks to the efforts of all the staff who have carefully considered how we can work best while taking the necessary health precautions. From here on too, we will continue to bring entertainment to the fans like usual, and I’m hoping that we can work again and act for the future stories too of Haikyuu.

Kaito: Did you have fun watching, everyone?

*answers himself acting as a viewer* Yes! We had fun! Thank you!

Thank you for all your comments! It’s been more than a year since we started working for Haikyuu To the Top and despite all the difficulties brought about by outside influences (particularly the pandemic), I’m really happy that we are here now and were able to say, “That was fun!” with everyone. Let’s keep the flame burning for Haikyuu!

Ayu: As what everyone has also mentioned, the current situation has made me realize more the value of each and every episode we created. Precisely because the normal everyday things have ceased to become normal, being part of a work that can touch people’s hearts when they watch it and make them appreciate volleyball more, makes me feel really proud. I’m really grateful to the staff. Hinata and everyone’s path will still continue from now on and I really hope we can continue to work with this team until the end.

After their goodbyes, NojiKen was tasked to lead the last greeting as the captain of Inarizaki, which is the main in this event.

NojiKen: Thank you everyone for watching us ‘til the end. Thank you!

All together: Thank you!!!! *cute bye bye waves*

Photos/Posts from Official Accounts

And that’s it!! It was a fun fun fun 2.5 hrs event! I’m really glad that despite the current pandemic situation we can still have seiyuu events like this.

I just want to say that I’ve been watching Haikyuu all these years, but unexpectedly, the Inarizaki match is the moment I felt that I got hooked on Haikyuu *cries*

I just really really LOVE Kita-san soooo much, and the Miya twins T.T !!!!

I’m no longer active on tumblr nowadays, so may follow me on twitter instead @harukaja15

Though for long reports like this, tumblr is really perfect :)

For similar Japan-based original posts, you may follow me or track the #my original content tag on my blog.

[sayruq]

have thoughts on kpop (esp bts and blackpink)? you seem like a level-headed person (who can even chill when called out for being insensible like wow) and i think it's great that u rebloged that post with the peacocks and that post a long while ago about natives hunting game in a fair manner unlike white people stuffing animal in tiny cages. sorry if my english is weird i'm not a native speaker

your english is fine. i used to be really into kpop. i watched jewel in the palace and jumong but i didn’t start listening to the music until boys over flowers. kpop is such an interesting industry because it’s found a way to encourage you to be overly attached. you end feeling like this whole other world and there’s so much to see and learn. it’s part of the reason there are so many clueless koreaboos. in many ways kpop is more about personality than music. you become attached to celebrities and then you consume their work though it’s possible for the latter to happen or you continue consuming their products even though they’re subpar because you like the celebrities so much. this is why albums were terrible until recently.

t-ara were my favourite group, i was there from the beginning of the bullying scandal until 2018 and while they had great title tracks, the albums/eps were haphazardly put together. it was rare for albums to be cohesive and well put together. like someone said on twitter, every album is a bundle- you get photo cards and autographs and companies dock up the price to $20 (which is why i rarely bought any albums). this ended up changing recently but i still feel like the vast majority of companies don’t care. anyway i stopped listened because i felt the music wasn’t getting good and the yg sex trafficking scandal was so upsetting to me.

as for bts, i feel like they’re doing everything like it’s 2012 again. everything goes into the concept of each era and the title track but the albums aren’t good. it doesn’t matter though because millions of people will buy it. they used social media effectively to sell their personalities and it worked. exo barely have an online presence in comparison and they don’t do variety shows often and while they sell millions of copies, they don’t have the same level of success for that reason.

with blackpink, yg have realised they don’t have to put too much effort into the group. they can just take all the 2ne1 songs yg refused to release and give it to blackpink. basically they create hype for every release because it was so long since the last release and since it will be so long until the next release, fans eat everything up. you cannot tell me that blackpink want to release songs that were produced from 2012. you can’t tell me that they don’t want to experiment and try different genres like some of their peers. i mean the girls have complained about the inactivity and they probably want to make actual albums and go on long tours. that’s how you become good performers.

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

I won’t take risks

Bloodbound Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed and MC (Annie)

Information: this takes place after Bloodbound 3, but I made a few changes. In my story, MC was never Turned because Gaius wasn’t able to hit her. Also, the world don’t know anything about vampires yet, just a few people (politicians, scientists...). It’s a working progress.

Summary: News about a new virus spreading on China makes Kamilah worry about her human and the vampire holds no effort to make sure Annie will be safe. Even if it means not touching her for months.

Warnings: it has a little bit of sex content.

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 (Finale)

I WON’T TAKE RISKS - PART 4

       As the scientists advised, Kamilah kept her wife locked for more 24 hours so the vaccine would have time to act.  

           “After that, will she be completely immune?” – asked the CEO, hands resting in her lap while watching the online conference on the plasma TV at her office.

           “Yes, Mrs. Sayeed. In 24 hours, the system develops all the antibodies needed. This first part is a quiet and painless process. After that, the person is completely immune. Unfortunately, that’s when the side effects kick in.” – answered the Brazilian one. Kamilah liked her more than the British guy.

           “How so?”

           “Well, after those 24 hours, she’ll have two rough days. It’s the time needed for the chemical conductor in the vaccine to be processed. The chemical reaction causes a combination of strong headaches and nausea. From our tests, the headaches are worsened by loud noises and bright light. I would recommend keeping her in a dark quiet bedroom. Artificial lights are worst than the natural one, so no TV or cell phon...”

           “Complementing my dear colleague” – there went the British guy interrupting the Brazilian woman again. Kamilah wanted to punch him through the screen sometimes. – “the nausea can go from a simple discomfort in the stomach area to a series of heavy episodes of vomiting. She will be in need of a constant fluid’s replacement and forcing food ingestion.”

           “What he means” – the Brazilian cut off in an acid tone that made Kamilah impressed. – “is that you need to keep feeding her even if she pukes it all. And make sure she drinks a lot of water. No alcohol or greasy food, though. Let her liver rest.”

           “Thank you, Miss Neves. Will it all be over in two days?”

           “Yes. The effects don’t go for longer than 48 hours.”

           They couldn’t be more accurate. In the morning after Annie’s vaccination, Kamilah went downstairs to bring her wife back to the Penthouse after those six long months of quarantine. This time, the girl didn’t lift her head at the sound of the elevator or jumped out of bed when Kamilah opened the door. On the contrary, the noise coming from the elevator doors made her mumble a soft cry under the sheets. Without saying anything, afraid to make it worst, the vampire only took the woman in her arms in a way so she could hide her face in Kamilah’s chest, avoiding the light. Fast like a lighting, Annie was soon brought back to the Penthouse, finding it covered in darkness. That made her sighed in relief.

           “Kami…”

           “Sh, it’s okay” – Kamilah’s voice was a melodic whisper while putting the girl comfortable in their bed. – “Close your eyes and catch some sleep, my love. You’re home.”

           She didn’t fight it. In a few seconds, the girl rolled to hug a pillow and fell asleep the minute she captured the smell of her wife’s hair on it. Kamilah waited patiently for most of the morning, one of her hands resting on Annie’s waist. The vampire enjoyed hearing that beautiful human heart so close to her. After long hours, it was time to convince Annie to eat anything, and just like that arrogant-piece-of-ass-Brian-British-Doctor recommended, Kamilah was not taking “no” for an answer. She brought some homemade vegetable soup with toasts, and it all seemed fine at the beginning. The girl didn’t complain about eating something so healthy and actually liked it. But ten minutes after she finished the bowl, the nightmare began.

           If the side effects would be between a “small discomfort” and a “series of vomiting”, Annie definitely tended to the second. For the whole day, Kamilah had to hold the girl’s hair while she puked everything right after finishing the meal. After a few rounds, the girl put on a stubborn attitude, refusing to eat again.

           “Please, Kami…” – she cried, her weak body shivering under the sheets. – “I don’t wanna puke anymore, my throat is hurting…”

           “I know my dear, I know… Just one more try, one more, this time it’ll stay, I’m sure”

           It didn’t. But Annie gave it another try, and another, and another, until finally some toasts and tea settled in her stomach. Kamilah was so scared that her wife could wake up in pain or nausea that she laid down next to her for the whole night, their faces inches from each other, fingers intertwined while Annie slept peacefully. The vampire never closed her eyes.

           Second day wasn’t so worse than the first, maybe because now Kamilah knew what exactly to expect. Also, the human was too weak to stay much time awake, so she slept for the most of it. Every time the girl opened her eyes to cry because of the headaches, she would feel soft fingers cupping her face, one of them lightly drawing circle patters on her forehead. Kamilah’s voice was always a careful whisper in the distance, and when the pain got too strong, she started to give the human light kisses on the lips instead of whispering votes of confidence.

Once again, the vampire spent her night listening to Annie’s heartbeat, counting every single second in expectation to see her well again. In the past six months, there were days she would dream with that face so close to hers. Uncountable times, Kamilah felt the impulse to end quarantine, take Annie home and just watch her there, maybe work by her side… But, then, her eyes would flash at the news and the urge suddenly stopped. Thousands of deaths. Most of it, the elderly and sick, but the health system was so overloaded that soon kids, teenagers and young healthy adults started to drop like flies as well. The effects of the virus were getting worse day by day. How could she put Anna through that? Never.

           Two rough days… - she thought, eyes still lingering in Annie’s calm sleeping features – And you’ll be immune. Just eight hours to reach that.

           Eventually, Kamilah had to move from the bed and walk around the room, stretching her body. The sun was coming out, the clock still ticking the minutes away. Anna had slept through the second part of the night like a rock. No crying, no vomiting, no nightmares. Steady breathing and steady heartbeats. It was almost ten o’clock when the girl finally moved a little, her hands rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. A lamp beside the bed was the only light in the room, and when she turned to the other side, there was Kamilah sitting elegantly on a chair, hands in her lap and a calm mask of patience on her face. The vampire didn’t want to scare Annie with her anxiety. But the girl was too clever to be fooled and soon noticed the way Kamilah was trembling her left leg.

           “There’s puke in your pants” – she opened an adorable smile. – “Tell me those are not Armani.”

           “Good morning, darling” – Kamilah left the chair to lean over her wife on the bed, placing a kiss on her forehead and searching in those beautiful green eyes for any sign of pain. – “How’s your head today?”

           Annie laughed. A soft, calm, and happy laughter.

           “If I say it hurts, will you kiss me again?”

           “As many times as I need to” – Kamilah smiled of relief when she heard that.

           “Hmmm… Interesting…” – Annie propped herself up on her elbows so she could kiss her wife on the cheek. – “In that case, my whooooooole body is hurting right now. You can start with my thighs.”

           The vampire shook her head in disbelief. “You’re impossible, Anna Sayeed. Have I ever told you that?”

           “Many, many times.”

           Kamilah held her gaze for a while before standing up.

           “Come on, you naughty thing. We’ll have plenty of time to compensate for the past months. First, I need to make sure the side effects are truly gone. Let’s have some breakfast.”

           “Yooooooooooou could be my breakfast” – Annie rolled in bed, laughing. – “That’s all I need.”

           The vampire gave her a small slap on the butt. “Get up. And put something decent on. We have guests waiting.”

           “Who?”

           That caught the girl’s attention. In a heartbeat, Annie tried to escape the room in her underwear, but Kamilah was fast to hold her from the waist and effortlessly take her into the bathroom.

           “No, no. Shower. Brush your teeth. And wear that.” – she pointed at the cotton dress hanging in the wall before crossing her arms. – “Go on. I’m watching.”

           Annie opened a knowing smile. “Oh, you do like to watch it, don’t you?”

           Kamilah’s eyes were always telling the truth. They flashed crimson red.  

           “I do.”

[eddiesasspbrak]

Forever and Always Ch. 1

Eddie is the only one of his friends to stay behind in Derry after high school, causing him to lose touch with some of them. Now 24, Eddie has heard rumors that his now famous, former best friend (aka love of his life) may be coming back to town. That won't be too awkward, right?

Ch. 2

Read on AO3

4k+ words

Most people who grew up in the town of Derry moved away as soon as they were able and never looked back. This was true for all six of Eddie’s best friends. After high school, one by one, they left Derry behind. Left Eddie behind. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to leave too. Of course, he did. None of their childhoods had been great. The only thing that made it bearable was having each other. When bullies came around there was power in numbers. Seven losers would always be more intimidating than three bullies who wanted to tear them down.

In fact, they’d met Mike and Ben while saving them from bullies. Individually they felt powerless, together they felt unstoppable. They could kill monsters as long as they stayed together. So, when they all left, Eddie found it harder and harder to leave his mom. He’d realized at a young age that most of his ailments were made up by her as a way of keeping him close. If he needed to be taken care of, then he would always need her. When he was older, he realized that it was her who needed to be taken care of. If he left, how would she survive? She was sick, needed to be needed. So, he stayed. He gave up his dreams of escaping Derry to stay by her side.

The community college wasn’t far outside of Derry, but Eddie found getting there without a car to be nearly impossible when there was no bus system within the town. His mom didn’t want him taking classes, so she refused to drive him or let him borrow the car. She hadn’t been happy that he had even gotten his license without her permission. She didn’t know about all the hours he’d spent in Richie’s truck, behind the wheel, bickering with the other boy while he tried to teach him to drive.

Richie. He’d begged Eddie to leave with him. To pack up everything they could carry in the back of his truck and just drive. Saying no was so painful. They’d both cried when he told him that he had to stay. He couldn’t abandon his mother. Richie had been angry, and he’d left like that. He left and he didn’t call Eddie to say he was ok like he’d promised he would. Watching him drive away had broken Eddie’s heart. He’d loved him in secret for years and he’d just thrown away his last chance to be with him. His last chance to be with the person who made him feel brave.

Eddie tried not to think about all the time they spent together in the cab of that old truck when he’d been looking at used cars. He’d gotten a job at the general store in town to help pay for a car, but even then, couldn’t afford one. He’d been texting Bill, distraught that he wouldn’t ever be able to go to college in any compacity, when he’d suggested online courses. It had crossed Eddie’s mind, but the old desktop in the corner of the living room wasn’t ideal. When his mom got mad at him, she changed the password. Never mind the fact that he was already nineteen by this point and getting too old to be grounded from the computer. If she found out he was trying to take online courses, she’d surely lock him out of the computer permanently, or get rid of it all together.

It was his sixteen-year-old coworker, who’d later left Derry as well, who listened to him complain and then offered him a ride to the nearest store selling laptops. It had hurt to spend the money on even the cheapest one, but $300 on a 14inch PC was easier on him than the cost of a car and insurance. And it was a lot easier to hide from his mom. It was on this laptop that he learned about financial aid, learned that at his age he couldn’t get it without her help. He was a ‘dependent’ apparently. He had to lie to her and tell her that his boss wanted him to take some courses as he was grooming him to take over the general store one day. It was a stupid lie, one that could unravel if she ever decided to talk to his boss, but it was worth the risk if she would let him take a few classes. She didn’t need to know what he was taking. So, she agreed, thinking that it would keep him in Derry with her for the rest of her, or his, life. He signed up for online classes and would occasionally let her see him work on something on the desktop so she wouldn’t know how much he was actually hiding. It was a little slice of freedom and it was exciting to have this little secret hidden away in the messenger bag he carried everywhere.

Since he had to keep most of what he was learning a secret from his mom, he only took one to two classes a semester so his workload would be small. If she knew that he was studying whatever he could get his hands on, she would think he was planning to leave her. Part of him thought that he was. He still didn’t think he could. What would happen to her if he just packed up one day and left? But the thought that he could, that he could use any of this new knowledge to find a job somewhere far away, was exhilarating. It began to feel even more like an option when he’d gotten a ride to campus to speak with an advisor and she’d suggested he transfer his credits to a state college to finish his bachelor’s degree. She told him it would open the door to more advanced courses and then open for more schooling if that’s what he chose.

It had taken some convincing and more lying to get his mom to help him do what he needed to transfer his credits and start at a state school, but eventually he made the move to their online system. Still, with the light course loads he took and his habitual divergence from prerequisites to explore other courses, by the time he was twenty-four he still didn’t have his bachelor’s degree. It didn’t help that he’d had to take a semester or two off when his mother had actually gotten sick and the guilt of all his secrets had been too much. She recovered and when everything was back to normal, that desire for an escape plan came back and he registered for classes once more.

He kept in touch with his friends through text and phone calls and social media. Not that he really used any form of social media regularly. Sometimes he’d check Facebook to see how Stan and Bill were doing, or he’d log into his practically nonexistent twitter to check on Mike and Richie. Bev’s Instagram was mostly pictures of her designs and her and Ben modeling them, while Ben’s was all pictures of them doing things together and their dog which he affectionally called their ‘fur-baby’. His friends all had lives and Eddie was in his mid-twenties, no degree, working in a small-town general store where he had to wear an apron, still sleeping in his childhood bedroom with no real life experiences. He felt pathetic. All seven of them had called themselves “The Loser Club” but now Eddie felt like the only real loser out of the bunch.

He’d often find himself confiding in Bill and Stan about how stuck he felt. They tried to encourage him to come out and visit them, but he never felt like he could. He’d been saving what little money he could for so long, the idea of spending it on a weekend trip felt frivolous. Mike had also tried to talk him into visiting. He tried to lure him with his proximity to Disney World, saying they could spend a day in the theme park. Eddie had reminded him who he was talking to. Yea, rides were fun, but had he read about the people who died because their safety belts malfunctioned? Or the rides that broke while in motion, hurting not only those aboard, but those on the ground as well? Mike conceded but he still believed he’d put up a valiant effort in their attempts to drag Eddie out of Derry, even for a visit.

Ben and Beverly had made the most tempting offer when she landed her first fashion show outside of school. It wasn’t anything major. Just a small line that was interested in buying some of her designs and wanted to see what she could do in a show setting. It was her dream to start her own line, but this was a foot in the door, and she couldn’t rationalize turning it down. They’d invited Eddie down to spend the weekend and attend the show. He wanted to go, wanted to support his friend. All of the other Losers were going to be there, and it would feel like a mini reunion. It would be the first time he’d seen any of them for a few years as they hadn’t been coming back for holidays for a while.

The biggest mistake he made was telling his mom the truth about the trip. She never liked his friends. Never liked the influence they had on her son. They were reckless, too willing to drag Eddie into dangerous situations where he was bound to get hurt. When he’d broken his arm at age thirteen, she had banned him from seeing them at all. He didn’t let that stop him though and eventually she stopped trying to keep them apart, though she did make it very difficult at times. She was glad when they all left, gave him a hard time when any of them came back to town for any reason and he’d run off to see them. So, when Eddie told her of his plans to fly to New York to see his friends, she mysteriously got sick and had to be hospitalized.

When she’d realized that she could no longer make him believe he was sick, she began faking her own illnesses to keep him close. He knew it was likely a lie, but he couldn’t in good conscience leave her in case it was real. He apologized to Bev, told her that he wished more than anything that he could be there. She had been disappointed, they all were, but they also understood and didn’t pressure him. A few days later, when his mother had, unsurprisingly, been released from the hospital with a clean bill of health, Eddie had been angry. He accused her of lying so he couldn’t go and see his friends and she’d cried and apologized. She had just been so afraid of him getting on a plane or something happening to him while he was in New York. He was a small-town boy; he couldn’t survive in the city. He knew that it was all bullshit, but he didn’t press the matter any further.

He’d received messages from all of his friends that weekend, telling him that they missed him and wished he was there. All but one sent him at least a few words. All, except Richie. It was no secret that their relationship had been strained ever since Eddie said no to escaping together. As Richie quickly found fame in New York and his schedule became busy, his texts to Eddie came even less frequently. When ever news would break about a new show Richie would be doing, Eddie would always send him a congratulatory text and only received a response about half the time. It hurt every time.

As much as he missed him, Eddie would never tell him how he followed his career from afar. He obsessively searched YouTube and twitter for clips of Richie’s live shows. He was just as stupidly charming as he had been when they were growing up. He could always make Eddie laugh, though sometimes he just annoyed the living daylights out of him. Richie told jokes of their childhood, Derry, and each of their friends. Every time he would tell a long drawn out embellished story about something they did together, Eddie would get a jolt of excitement knowing that he was on Richie’s mind in that moment. He rarely told jokes about Eddie. Sometimes he’d talk about his hypochondriac friend who would willing be the boy in the bubble and Eddie would smile in spite of himself.

Then there were the times when Richie would talk about his first love. He could never tell just who he was talking about. For a while he thought it might be Bev, but the stories didn’t fit her. He thought back to everyone they knew in middle school and high school but could never pinpoint just one person. Maybe he just created a first love for his stories made up of all the girls he’d had crushes on over the years. The list had been endless. Either way, Eddie hated those jokes. Sometimes he’d skip past them to avoid that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

There were rumors of Richie dating a girl from this TV show he’d guest starred on. Every time Eddie googled his name for any new news, he’d see the rumor sites pop up. He’d see her face, see the onscreen kiss they shared. When he entered ‘Richie Tozier’ in the search bar, her name would pop up as an autocomplete option and he hated it. He had nothing against her personally, it was just a kneejerk reaction when the man he’d loved since he was thirteen was possibly dating this person. It broke his heart to think of him happy with someone else. He knew it was an inevitability, but it didn’t make it any easier.

When the news that Richie was going to have his own Netflix special hit the web, Eddie just about choked on his water. He’d been at work when he read the headline. He’d never seen a complete show before, surviving on 3-minute clips on YouTube. Of course, they had a Netflix account, but he just knew what his mother’s reaction would be if she saw it on his watch history. Gerard, or ‘Gerry’, his teenage coworker, was also a fan of Richie’s and was always bragging about living in the same town as Richie Tozier online. He didn’t know that Eddie was friends with him. Or used to be friends with him was probably more accurate. He just thought he was another fan. Regardless, they had bonded over it.

“You ok there, Eddie?” Gerard asked, poking his head around from the aisle where he was stocking cereal.

“Yep.” Eddie said, coughing.

“Did someone send you an unsolicited dick pic again?”

Gerard was one of the only people who knew that Eddie was gay. He’d found out by accident when Eddie had taken an uber, something he hated to do, into the nearest city. He’d been to a bar before in town, but never to a gay bar. A small town like Derry didn’t really cater to people like him. He wanted to see what it was like, maybe get some experience under his belt. And it definitely wasn’t just after the rumor of Richie dating his costar first came out. He’d been nervous and wasn’t really enjoying himself. The music was too loud for conversation and, while there were plenty of attractive men, none of them did it for him the way Richie did.

He was ready to give up when he spotted a familiar mess of curly ginger hair amongst the other patrons. Sure he was mistaken, he decided to get a closer look just to be certain. He found Gerard sandwiched between a man and a woman grinding obscenely. Eddie forgot for a moment where he was and the big-brother-like bond he’d developed with the younger boy kicked in. Without thinking, he marched over and grabbed his wrist, pulling him from his dancing partners.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? How did you even get in here?” Eddie turned to look at the two he’d been dancing with. “He’s underaged! Did you know that he’s only sixteen?”

Gerard blinked up at him dumbly, and the two looked shocked and rightfully embarrassed as they both retreated into the crowd. Without missing a beat, Eddie dragged Gerard from the bar and out onto the street. It was quieter out there, but not by much with traffic and chatter from smokers leaning against the walls. He pulled his phone out and immediately opened the uber app with the intent of getting them a ride back to Derry. With their ride secured, he turned back to Gerard to lecture him.

“How did you even get in there?” He asked, exasperated.

“Me? What are you doing in a gay bar?” Gerard asked, more amused and surprised than upset it seemed.

“What?”

Everything finally caught up with Eddie and he realized what had just happened. He’d been so shocked to see Gerard there, he hadn’t even been tracking that he’d just let his coworker see him in a gay bar, successfully outing himself. The only person who had known about him until that moment was Beverly, and she only knew because they’d gotten drunk when they were seventeen and he’d started crying about his unrequited love. He never did tell her it was Richie, just that it was another boy.

“Did you not realize this was a gay bar?” Gerard asked, misunderstanding the look of surprise on Eddie’s face.

“No…I did...but wait, why were you in a gay bar?”

“Cause I’m pansexual and the only place to find someone who’s cool with it is someplace like this. Or the internet. And you?”

“I’m…” Eddie hadn’t said this out loud in years and the words stuck in his throat. “I’m gay.” The words came out hushed as he leaned in close for only him to hear.

“Wow, ok, I mean I should have guessed.”

“What? Why?”

“You’re the only person I know who’s as obsessed with Richie Tozier as I am and I’m crushing on him hard. I should have figured you had the hots for him too.”

“I do not…I’m not…ok…that’s beside the point. This is a bar. A twenty-one and over bar. How did you get in?”

“Fake ID.” Gerard said with a shrug.

He reached into his pocket for his wallet and pulled the ID out, holding it up for Eddie to see. Eddie squinted at it in the dim streetlights. Snatching it away, he got a closer look at it and scoffed.

“This worked? It doesn’t even look like you! I’m keeping this by the way.” Eddie stuffed the ID into his pocket.

“What? No, come on man. I need it.”

“No. You need to wait until you’re old enough instead of causing legal adults to break the law because you’re horny and look older than you actually are.”

“I never let it go too far. I’m a responsible delinquent.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and sighed a breath of relief when their uber pulled up. He opened the back door and pointed inside, ordering without words for Gerard to get in. He grumbled as he did as he was told and climbed into the backseat, Eddie following after him. They didn’t talk during the ride and Eddie had the driver drop them off outside of the general store. The last thing he needed was for Gerard’s parents to see him bringing him home after midnight, and Eddie’s mom didn’t need to see him getting out of a car with a child when he was supposed to be at a book club meeting.

Gerard was still grumpy when they got out of the car. He stood with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders raised, like he was waiting to be scolded again. Eddie sighed and leaned against the wall of the building.

“Look, I just don’t want you to get hurt, ok?” Eddie said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Ok. Whatever. It just sucks, you know? Being like me in a town like this.”

“Yea I know. I kind of lived it. Kind of still am.”

“Right…I mean I can pass as straight. I do like girls. It just gets boring only going for the straight cis girls around here. There’s only so many in a school with less than 800 students.”

“I get it. Just, try to wait two years so you’re at least of legal age and less likely to cause problems. And don’t try to drink at the bar until you’re twenty-one.”

“God, you’re so boring.”

“I thought you said you were a responsible delinquent.” Eddie couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He really couldn’t help looking at this boy like a little brother. He was the closest thing he had to a friend these days.

“Yea, yea. Ok. I won’t go back until I’m eighteen. You do realize I’ll still need a fake ID to get in though, right?” Gerard smiled sheepishly.

“I guess you’ll have to get a new one in two years then.” Eddie said, turning and heading toward home.

“You suck!” Gerard called after him.

“Go home and get some sleep, little boy!” Eddie called back, not bothering to stop.

That had happened about a month prior to Eddie nearly choking on his water and having a coughing fit at the register. Gerard had been a little crabby with him for a few days, but he got over it when Eddie showed him a rare clip of one of Richie’s shows that was hard to find online.

Eddie wiped the bit of water that had dribbled from his lips with the back of his hand while shaking his head no. He did a quick scan to make sure there was no one nearby who had heard Gerard. For someone who was trying to stay hidden, he talked about dick an awful lot while in public.

“No. I just…Richie’s getting a Netflix special.” He said, staring at his phone in disbelief.

“What?” Gerard dropped the boxes of cereal he was holding and ran over the counter.

He hopped up onto the counter and leaned in closely to Eddie’s phone. The article had a picture of Richie wearing a hideous shirt and smiling awkwardly. He was so stupidly handsome he was physically painful to look at. Eddie stared down at the face of the man he loved and thought of all the genuine smiles he’d seen over the years and how long it had been since then. His chest tightened painfully, and he was suddenly overcome with the nausea and breathlessness that usually accompanied a panic attack. He fished his inhaler from the pocket of his apron and put it to his lips, sucking in the medicine that would help him catch his breath.

“Damn, dude. I know he’s hot, but does he actually take your breath away?” Gerard asked, nudging him with his elbow.

“It’s the dust in here.” Eddie lied. “He’s not even that hot.”

“Yea, ok.” Gerard hopped back off the counter and made his way back to the cereal boxes. “I was going to offer you my Netflix login so you could watch it without mother dearest knowing. But I’m not sure that I can if you don’t think Richie’s hot.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but couldn’t ignore the burst of excitement he felt at the prospect of getting to watch it. He’d confided in Gerard a while back about how his mom hated Richie and would give him hell if she found out he watched his act. He’d given him a hard time saying, “Aren’t you like, 30?”

“Ok. Fine he’s hot. He’s just not my type.”

“He’s everyone’s type. But, fine. You admitted it so I’ll give you my login.” Gerard put the last boxes of cereal on the shelf and began breaking down the big cardboard box. “When is it supposed to come out?”

“I don’t know. Sometime this summer is all it says.”

“Ugh. I hate when they do that. Give us a month at least!”

Eddie nodded in agreement, still staring down at the picture of Richie. The nausea had eased a bit and was more like butterflies now. He opened his texts and took a deep breath as he typed out a text.

“Hey! Just saw the news about your Netflix special! Congrats!”

He stared down at the message, his thumb hovering over send. Were there too many exclamation points? Did he sound too giddy about it? Doubting himself, he erased the whole thing and tried again.

“Hey, Rich! Heard about your Netflix special. Sure it will be great.”

That sounded better but felt lacking. He tacked a little more onto the end, hoping to sound casual about it all.

“Hope your material is better than it used to be. No one thinks ‘your mom’ jokes are funny anymore.”

The butterflies took flight as he read that over again as a whole. This was the way they used to interact before things got all weird and distant between them. It felt normal, he just wasn’t sure if he should send it like that. His decision was made for him when Gerard appeared behind him and slapped him on the back, causing him to fumble his phone and hit send. He stared in horror as the word ‘delivered’ appeared below the blue bubble of text.

“What’s wrong with you? I’ve been calling your name for five minutes.” Gerard said, leaning back against the opposite counter.

“Sorry. I…it doesn’t matter. What’s up?”

“I was saying that Richie is the same age as you. You grew up here, right? So, did you know him?”

“No.” Eddie answered too quickly. “I mean, I knew who he was. I just didn’t really…know him.”

“That sucks. If you’d had any friends in high school, maybe you could have gotten us tickets to the show.”

“I had friends, Gerard.” Eddie finally put his phone away, sure that Richie wouldn’t respond anyway.

“Then where are they, huh? Or do you like hanging out with your coworkers that are fourteen years younger than you?”

“I’m twenty-four! That’s only like eight years!” Eddie said, throwing the towel they used to wipe the counter at him.

“That’s still a lot.”

“Go finish stocking the shelves you prepubescent asshole.”

Gerard threw the towel back at him and flipped him off but did what he was told. Alone again, Eddie pulled his phone back out to see that the text still said ‘delivered’. He didn’t even know if Richie had it set up so you could see when he read a message. Probably not. Easier to ignore people when they couldn’t tell you’d read their texts. He sighed and dropped his head down to the counter. He hadn’t seen Richie is six years, why was he still so in love with him? Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder was 100% abso-fucking-lutely correct.

[violetsmoak]

Pieces of April [18/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099044/chapters/50202530

Summary: On the anniversary of his death, Jason’s second life takes an abrupt new turn and he’s faced with a challenge that neither Batman nor the All-Caste prepared him for.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

Author’s Note: Sorry for the wait on the latest chapter, I spent the weekend plotting some original work and it sort of took over my brain for a while. Also, this chapter has been fighting me. Mostly because I’ve been working on the big Batfam discovery moment and I can’t wait to get there, and having to slow down and write everything in between is soooooo frustrating! But hopefully we’ll get there soon lol. In the meantime, enjoy!

First Chapter

________________________________________________________________

The next morning finds Jason once again in Tim’s kitchen, this time doing a fry-up of bacon and eggs. He’d been surprised to find either of those things in Tim’s fridge, having appeared as if by magic.

(Jason suspects Tim gets his groceries delivered instead of shopping like a normal person; he’s not going to complain, though, since food is food.)

From her carrier’s usual perch on the kitchen island, Luisa is frowning at him—or at least frowning at his general direction—in disapproval like a miniature, squishy Winston Churchill.

“What?” he asks her, feeling oddly judged. “You don’t like my fryin' technique?” She sticks her tongue out, and yawns, easing back in her carrier. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

He’d probably shit his pants if she actually spoke back, but he’s seen stranger things in his life.

Suddenly, there’s a sharp, explosive bang from outside as a car backfires, and Luisa jolts, eyes going wide in shock before she starts shrieking.

“Crap,” Jason grunts, dropping the spatula and hurrying over to pick up the startled baby. Lifting her up, he starts rocking her back and forth, trying to shush her and wincing as the crying just gets louder.

How does such a little thing make such a big noise?

Still trying to calm her, he goes to pick the spatula up off the floor to toss in the sink and glances around for another. Luisa keeps crying, little fists beating ineffectually at him, and no matter what position he holds her in she refuses to let up.

“I know you’ve never heard something that loud before, but don’t you think this is an overreaction?” he mutters, glancing desperately around for the cape Tim was using as a carrier the other day. It’s nowhere within range, and so he turns off the stove and shoves aside the pan to ensure the bacon doesn’t burn while he deals with the baby complication.

As he searches, rocking and shushing Luisa as he goes, he’s getting generally more frustrated at not being able to get her to stop wailing. He’s on the verge of giving up and going to wake Tim—which is embarrassing on so many levels—when he remembers what the kid told him yesterday about heartbeat and skin-to-skin contact.

Making a quick decision, he places the squalling infant on the couch for an instant while he shrugs out of his shirt. Then, ignoring the sense of awkwardness he picks her up to hold against his bare chest, cradling her head in support as he continues to rock subtly, bouncing somewhat on the balls of his feet.

Luisa’s still wailing, mushing her face into his chest almost in protest, and his ears are beginning to ring. But slowly, as the minutes creep by, the sound morphs into weak fussing. Her little ear settles against a spot near his breastbone, right over his heart, and that sound wanes as well.

There’s a sniffle, a wet almost-hiccup in her breathing, and then she goes silent and calm again.

Hey, look at that.

Jason actually managed to calm her down himself, instead of calling for help or putting her down to yell until she tired herself out. He’s not sure why he feels a stab of pride in that, but he decides it doesn’t matter in the face of the now silent baby.

He keeps hold of her until her breathing evens out and she passes out and then returns to the kitchen and the carrier.

Once she’s settled again, he notices that he’s being watched, and glances up to see Tim, ruffled and still blinking sleep out of his eyes even as he studies the scene in front of him.

Eyes raking up Jason’s form, he opens his mouth to say something, frowns to himself and shakes his head.

“I need coffee,” he mumbles at last and slouches into the kitchen to turn on the Keurig. While waiting for it to brew, he turns back to Jason, leaning against the counter and tilts his head to one side. “I didn’t know you had tattoos.”

Jason looks down his front at the All-Caste markings no longer hidden by the baby’s form.

They’re not tattoos. At least, not exactly.

But the real story’s too complicated and not something he wants to get back to the Bats, so he just shrugs and says, “I don’t exactly put out announcements in the Family newsletter.”

Tim nods, ceding the point.

“So, what do they mean?” he asks as his coffee finishes brewing.

“None of your damn business. Don’t you have work?”

The younger man raises an eyebrow. “It’s Saturday?”

Right. Weekends are a thing.

“I do have some online classes to log on for later, though,” Tim goes on. “But I don’t really have to dress up in a suit for that.” He smirks. “I’m not Damian.”

“I dunno—you’re both pint-sized pains in my ass,” Jason retorts, trying to hide his surprise that Tim is still in school. He thought he’d dropped out when Bruce went missing in the timestream; he didn’t realize the guy was still doing that.

God, he’s doing school on top of everything else? How is this kid still alive?

“I’m still taller than he is,” Tim hedges, with a trace of sulk in his voice.

Heh. Think we’ve hit a sore point there.

But he chooses not to pursue it; better for him if Tim’s in a good mood.

“I’m goin' out again today,” he informs him, trying not to grit his teeth at the effort it takes not to make it sound like a question. He doesn’t need permission, damn it! “Have a little conversation with Isabel’s ex, for all the good it’ll do.”

“I figured as much,” Tim replies, unbothered. He sips at his coffee. “Isa and I will be fine. Besides, when I’m done my classwork, I’ve got a lead I want to pursue. I might have tracked down some of Isabel’s blood relatives.”

Jason pauses, ears perking up. “Seriously?”

“I think so. Try not to get your hopes up, though.” He frowns then, tilting his head to one side. “You might want to do something about that before you go meeting with anyone.”  

He makes a circular motion around his own forehead.

Nonplussed, Jason wanders toward the mantlepiece and the mirror above it, making a noise of understanding when he realizes what Tim was pointing out.

“Noted,” he agrees, flicking at his hair.

The problem with dying his hair black is the need to touch it up every six weeks; the roots of his natural red coloring start to peek through around then, along with the thick white streak that sprouts from just above the scar in his hairline. The latter doesn’t hold the color for very long, fading to a washed-out gray-white within a few washes.

The upkeep is a pain in the ass, but black hair is a lot less memorable in his line of work, a lesson he learned quickly as both Robin and during his League training.

Once Tim’s settled into his temporary workstation at the kitchen table, with Luisa snoozing within easy reach, Jason takes off.

Like the day before, he commandeers one of Tim’s bikes and heads out to pharmacy near one of his safehouses in Midtown. He figures it’s best to keep any kind of chemical smell far away from the baby, and besides he kind of wants to avoid Tim walking in on the dyeing process. He needs to do his eyebrows, and if the younger man were to make a comment, Jason would have to punch him—which seems a poor reward for someone helping him out right now.

Once he’s applied the dye and is waiting for it to set, he uses the laptop in his bolt hole to remotely access the Cave systems again and brings up the phone records between Isabel and her group of friends, including Jonathan Sutter.

It feels morbid and invasive, but he needs a better sense of who these people are and how to approach them. The texts between her and her friends are the usual thing you’d expect from a group of twenty-somethings making plans or bitching about work. As for the exchanges between her and Sutter, there aren’t that many; it seems their relationship was mostly in person or by phone.

Jason’s relieved about that because he’s not sure he could stomach reading his dead ex-girlfriend’s sexting her boyfriend.

Because I don’t feel creepy enough about this as it is…

He finds reference to a few events they attended together—restaurant dinner, a trip to the opera, a Broadway play—

“Wow, this guy was predictable,” Jason mutters to himself before he finds something interesting.

Sutter’s accounting firm did work on a huge contract with WE the year before, resulting in invitations to one of their charity events. Sutter evidently invited Isabel to go with him, which could provide a good backstory for Jason.

He’s been to those things before, both under protest and undercover, and they all go down the same way. It’s an easy cover for what he needs.

Closing the laptop, he goes to wash the last of the dye off and then showers for good measure. He actually takes more than ten minutes for once, since he’s alone and doesn’t need to keep his ear out for a crying baby. Even when he knows Tim is watching her, he can’t help waiting for something bad to happen.

It’s a bit irritating, actually; he inherited all the worries a new parent might feel about screwing up their kid, and yet none of the connection. It’s not just because he’s holding himself back from it either; he wonders if he had known about the baby—if he and Isabel had been involved during her pregnancy—if he would feel more of a bond to Luisa.

“No point wonderin',” he mutters to himself as he gets out of the shower and towels off. He learned a long time ago that speculating over the ‘what-if’s’ of the past would just lead him down a dark pit of self-pity.

On a whim, he grabs the make-up and prosthetic’s kit from beneath the sink and sets about making himself a disguise. He doesn’t usually bother with disguises anymore—those undercover gigs with Bruce seem far too long ago—but since he’s just testing the waters, he doesn’t want to be too recognizable.

The end result is a passable imitation of the infamous Matches Malone look Bruce cultivated, though Jason makes an effort to look a lot more kempt, before setting out once more.

The cameras he left watching Sutter’s place, as well as the tracker on his car, put him at a strip-mall not far from his home. Upon investigation, Jason finds himself standing in front of a high-priced vegan grocery.

“Seriously?” Jason mutters to himself, wrinkling his nose in disgust. The store isn’t even one of the legit wholesale places filled with locally sourced products, but one of the trendy boutiques, stocked with items that are three times more expensive just to cover the import costs and the brand name.

He loiters around the shelves, pretending to be examining the dozens of different types of Norwegian water while keeping an eye out for his target.

Sutter appears at the head of the aisle moments later, pushing a cart and followed by a young brunette. Younger than him, at least; Sutter’s about thirty, which puts the woman he’s with at about ten years younger.

She says something to him, clearly cheerful and excited, and Sutter replies in kind, accepting whatever package she puts in the cart. She leans up to peck him on the cheek, and then practically bounces away. The minute she’s gone, Sutter’s expression becomes long-suffering. He checks his phone with an air of impatience.

So he’s not actually into his stuff, but faking it for her.

It’s possible that’s just him attempting to be a supportive boyfriend, Jason supposes. But it also suggests the decision-maker in the relationship is the girlfriend, which could be a problem.

Only one way to find out.

He makes a production of turning just as Sutter passes him, and then affects a double-take at seeing him for the first time.

“Hey, I know you!” he declares, earning a look of surprise, followed by the guy looking around with a ‘who me?’ kind of expression. Jason pretends not to see it. “Johnny—John? Sutter, right?”

The man stares at him, apprehensive. “Yes? Do I know you?”

“You don’t remember?” Jason says, affecting an amused chuckle. “Heh. Guess you wouldn’t, I look a lot spiffier in a tux.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t—"

“Peter Malone, Locke Insurance? We met at the WE charity ball last March.” Sutter continues to look wary. “You were there with that knockout—whatshername…Izzy? Annabelle?”

“Isabel?” Sutter supplies, expression slowly morphing from wary to uncomfortable. The expression of someone worried he’s about to be caught out for not remembering a name.

“Right! Yes, her—damn, she was a looker.”

“Yeah…sorry, but I don’t really remember you,” Sutter says, expression clearing, and adopting an apologetic grimace. “But there were a lot of hands to shake that night, so...”

“Don’t I know it,” Jason agrees. “I left with about six new clients that night. Pretty good for a charity event, eh?” He doesn’t give Sutter a chance to reply. “So, you still with her?”

“What?”

“Isabel—hot blond? Legs up to here?”

Sutter’s tone becomes clipped again. “No.”

Jason gives an exaggerated whistle. “Damn shame…damn shame. You two looked like you were having fun.”

“Yeah, well…” Sutter gives a tight smile, eyes flicking away like he’s looking for an exit. “Things don’t always work out.”

“You know if she’s still single now?” Jason prompts, laying on the smarm. “Think you could set us up?”

“I think you’re the last person she wants anything to do with right now,” Sutter replies coolly. “Now, if you excuse me—”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t think she’d be into me? Everyone wants a piece of this.”

“Hope you like kids then,” the man mutters as he edges away.

Jason affects a wide-eyed gaze. “She’s got kids? Damn, she doesn’t look the type.”

He makes it sound like some kind of disease, earning a snort of agreement from Sutter, who says, “I thought so too.”

There’s a trace of bitterness there, one Jason recognizes intimately. He had foster parents that looked and sounded the same. Still, he presses on, pretending to be clueless at the cues the other man is trying to give him to end the conversation.

“Not a fan of the rugrats?”

“Not especially,” Sutter replies tightly. “And raising someone else’s kid? When you work the hours I do? I’ve got a career, my company’s got me flying from the East Coast to the West Coast every couple of weeks, my family’s already complicated—it’d be hard enough raising my own kid, let alone someone else’s.” He looks up as the blond from earlier appears, with some overpriced wafer crackers. “Anyway, nice catching up with you. See you around, I guess.”

He practically takes off at a run.

“Yeah, take it easy,” Jason replies dully. In three sentences, he’s learned everything he needed to know about the guy’s fitness as a parent.

This guy’s a hard ‘no’ then.

Jason leaves the store, mood dark. He takes a few hours to wander around Crime Alley and soak up the comings and goings without anyone recognizing him, before turning to Tim’s apartment via the underground entrance.

“Looks like it didn’t go too well,” Tim says when he sees him. He’s in the process of changing Luisa, who is making noises of disapproval. She doesn’t like to be wet, but she also doesn’t like being cold, so getting changed appears to be her least favorite part of the day.  

“He doesn’t want to be involved,” Jason says, not wanting to go into detail. “Which is what we figured would be the case.”

“Well, now you know for sure.”

“All I’m sure about is people suck.”

“So what’s the next step?”

“I’ve got a list of Isabel’s friends to contact. If they seem legit, I’ll see about figurin' out if they want to step up in honor of Isabel’s memory.”

He makes a face at that, knowing how it sounds, but being unable to think up any other alternative.

“I could come along,” Tim offers.

“No,” Jason says immediately. “People see you and they see dollar signs. Either for sellin' the story to the press or pretendin' their decent because they’ll think the kid means you bankrollin' them for the next eighteen years.”

“Point,” Tim says, and there’s a clench of his jaw that makes Jason think that scenario resonated with him personally for some reason. “I still don’t think you should go alone. You need someone along to soften your image, so you don’t come off as a creep.”

“I can be soft if I want to be,” Jason protests, offended.

“I have…no idea how to respond to that that won’t sound like Dick,” Tim tells him. “So I won’t.”

“Magnanimous of you."

“Here’s an idea—call Safiya. Ask if she’ll come with. She might even have met some of these people before.”

“Good point.” Jason makes a mental note to call her later, and wanders into the kitchen.

Noticing that other than the various plastic bottles and hastily closed formula containers there's no sign of plates or take-out, Jason determines Tim probably hasn’t made anything for dinner or even just for himself.

Assuming he even knows how to cook.

He opens the door to the fridge, and just stands there for a long moment, before shaking his head and closing it again when nothing immediately appeals to him.

Jason’s not entirely sure what he wants right now, his stomach growling in complaint for food having to compete with a pervading nausea at the idea of a heavy meal. He ends up cutting up a plate of fruit to tide him over until he can make a decision and wanders over to the space in the living room where Tim is working. Safiya is now nowhere in sight, but the baby monitor is on, the green lights lighting up and fading in tandem with distant sound of breathing.

“She actually let me put her down,” Tim explains when he notices where Jason’s looking.

“You’re the favorite,” Jason retorts, not sure why the idea doesn’t sit well with him. He supposes it’s left over from years of seeing Tim as the replacement everyone preferred to him. Rather than get trapped in that dark line of thinking, he offers the younger man his plate. “Any luck tracking down Luisa’s family?”

Tim absently accepts a few wedges of apple. “Yes and no.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Jason asks, throwing himself onto the couch. There’s a groan under his weight, which earns a pissy look from Tim, but the latter doesn’t address it.

“Isabel never told you much about her extended family, right?”

“Beyond the fact that they exist somewhere, not really. We didn’t really talk families, for obvious reasons.”

“Right.”

“She said she and her parents left Bogota before she was two, and if she met anyone before then she can’t remember.”

“Well, it turns out there’s a reason for that,” Tim says and slides his tablet over to Jason. When he picks it up, it takes a minute for his eyes to register the information Tim’s hunted up. “Her parents were fleeing Columbia to get away from them. It seems the Ardila family is in deep with the Medellin cartel there.”

“No shit,” Jason says, eyes wide.

This may actually explain Isabel’s lack of panicking in the face of aliens and mobsters…

“Isabel’s parents sought asylum in the US and eventually qualified for citizenship.”

“How’d they manage that if they were from a crime family?”

“My guess? Being good at bending the truth and having excellent forged documents.”

“Either way, that’s another option off the table,” Jason sighs, letting his head fall back on the couch in exasperation.

Tim hums in agreement and for a few moments, they simply sit in silence against the sense of defeat.

It’s not until the baby monitor suddenly gives a sudden series of noise—bursts of what at first sounds like static, but they then realize are tiny sneezes—that either of them moves again.

“I should check her,” Tim says, but Jason holds up a hand to stop him.

They listen a few moments longer, hear a bit of grumbling across the monitor, and then there’s only the sound of breathing.

“If you’re going to go running every time she sneezes or coughs, you’re going to give her a complex,” Jason informs him.

Tim raises an eyebrow. “Says the guy who was worried she had yellow fever.”

“I wasn’t worried, I was…concerned.”

“Now you sound like Bruce.”

“Take that back, Replacement.”

They glare at each other, but there’s little heat in it. At last, Tim rolls his eyes and looks away.

“On a somewhat related note—” Tim reaches for a file folder and takes out a piece of paper with a table on it, which Jason immediately recognizes as a schedule. Various duties have been written into the cells—feeding, changing, future bath times.

“You actually made one,” Jason says, somewhat disbelieving.

“Of course I made one. This last week, we’ve just been reacting to everything. We can’t keep going like that, and I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of the petty arguments about who does what.”

“Petty,” Jason repeats tonelessly.

“Petty,” Tim agrees. “As you can see here, these are the times when we might consider calling for outside help. I checked with Safiya about what days she’s conditionally available, and even Tam—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—Tam agreed?”

“Well, she agreed for emergencies,” Tim allows. “Like, if it’s raining Joker toxin from the sky kind of emergencies.”

Jason scowls. “Don’t tempt fate with that shit.”

“You know what I mean. If there’s something big going on, she said she’ll cover for us. Since it’s all temporary, and all.”

“Right…” Jason agrees faintly, staring at the blinking lights of the baby monitor. “Temporary…”

The rest of what Tim's saying fades to background noise, as his thoughts are overwhelmed with a sudden worry:

What if we don't find anyone worth taking her?

⁂⁂⁂

Your feedback matters! I want to know what you think of my story, so feel free to leave kudos, a comment or as many of these emojis as you want and let me know how you feel!

❤️️ = I love this story! 😳 = this was hot! 💐 = thank you for sharing this 🍵 = tea spilled 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy! 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good! 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER 😢 = you got me right in the feels 🤯mind blown 🤬god damn cliffhanger 😫 whyyyyyyy?!?!?

[putschki1969]

A reply

vyselegendaire I don't know why there is bad blood between CPM and Putschki.  Each forum has its plus and minus.  CPM forums have had trolls, but since its a forum I feel people have a chance to be a bit more expressive of their opinions, and thus there is negativity, but frankly its mostly in the forum of  humor and farce.  There are almost no dedicated haters on the site who don't wish to see more great music from our favorite artists.

vyselegendaire Additionally, amidst all of the complaints of negativity and dreariness, lest we forget the scourge of censorship - which is on the rise across the internet - before we cast shade on those we disagree with as being bad.  Censorship and content removal is the tool of tyrants since time immemorial and don't think you are immune, ask

vyselegendaire Just ask Solzhenitsyn

Hi there!

I thought it best to make a proper reply post because I have a few things to say in response to your comments. These comments were made on THIS post here where I am talking about online fandoms in general....It took me a while to get back to you, sorry about that.

All right everyone, strap in for a LONG (and slightly petty) reply...

It feels like in all my previous replies I have been talking to a wall…I have said it before and I am gonna say it one more time, there is no war between myself and CPM, there is no ancient feud and I wouldn’t even say there is any “bad blood” between us. I haven’t really engaged with any particular member enough for there to be “bad blood“. My main issue with CPM is that I do not enjoy the toxic atmosphere over there. Why would I willingly subject myself to all that negativity? I might be the only one out there that feels this way but I wanna ENJOY my fandom. All the nitpicking, bickering, gossiping, bullying and bashing, it’s utterly exhausting and it sucks the life right out of me. I don’t wanna waste my time engaging in polemic discourse and childish quarrels day in day out. I mean, even responding to all those recent asks/messages has been utterly exhausting because I feel like I have been put on trial for simply wanting to be a decent human being.

CPM has had a few trolls....? No kidding....Please don’t get me started on the trolls.... I haven’t even been active on CPM but I still had to deal with them. Why you ask? Because we have had at least two people from CPM terrorise the tumblr fandom in the past….those trolls actually made the effort to come here and cause turmoil just for the fun of it…that’s how fucked up they are...As you can imagine, I wasn’t impressed…

Unlike you, I just don’t see the merits of posting on CPM. Yes, I have been in some lovely forums in the past and they certainly do offer a few advantages but when it comes to CPM, the negative aspects far outweigh the positive ones. Yes, a forum is better suited to interact with people but then again, I have plenty of ways to interact with fellow fans here as well. And if we are being honest, I am not the type of fan that actively seeks out interaction, especially not with people who suffer from a serious case of entitlement. You could call it a pet-peeve of mine but I really can’t stand it when fans act all entitled as if they were owed something. And you know what’s the worst thing about it? The most annoying entitled haters on CPM are usually people who are not invested in the fandom at all! Yes, they are very much invested when it comes to hating on and complaining about stuff but aside from that I don’t see them do anything else “productive”. They just sit back and let other people do the work. They don’t bother to seek out new information, they wait for someone else to do it.... Most also don’t bother to learn Japanese in order to get a better understanding, they wait for someone else to make all the translations or they just pretend to know everything and come to absurd conclusions which usually results in heaps of misunderstandings... Often they refuse to buy releases, they would much rather wait for downloads in order to then declare they are happy they didn’t spend a fortune on that since it’s trash anyways...They also typically don’t attend any lives but they are more than happy to complain from the distance... It baffles me how people like that have the nerve to act so entitled even though they don’t show an ounce of support.

There is another reason I do not wish to interact with a majority of the people on CPM. Many of them find pleasure in ridiculing me. I know everyone over there is making fun of me for being a “pussy”, for playing “Kalafina-police”, for apparently seeing everything through “rose-tinted glasses”. It seems like in their eyes nothing I write can be taken seriously because I am neither “honest” nor “objective”. I guess in this day and age you have to be a disrespectful asshole for people to consider you “honest/objective” and for someone to actually pay attention to you... But really, that’s just not who I am. I have zero tolerance when it comes to any sort of bashing of the people I adore and respect under the guise of so called “constructive criticism” and I do not wish to interact with anyone who thinks that’s okay. And before anyone misinterprets what I am saying, no, I am not implying that Kalafina are above criticism or that every kind of criticism is bad, that’s not the case at all...but as I have pointed out numerous times, it’s all about HOW you criticise...

As for your point about being able to be more expressive in a forum, that is completely untrue. Nothing is stopping me from being as expressive as I want to be on this site. Free expression does not equate negativity, if you think the opportunity to express yourself is somehow a free pass for being an asshole then you are wrong.

“There are almost no dedicated haters on the site who don't wish to see more great music from our favorite artists” Uhmm...and that somehow absolves them of all their wrong-doings? NO! This statement makes me really angry because it embodies the fucked-up mindset of so many haters in fandom. At one point in the past I used to like it so that gives me the right to bash on everything now and I refuse to find something else because I know for sure that one day they will create the exact thing that I want. THIS is how these people think...And it leads me right back to the point I made about entitlement. Throughout many years these fans have created an unattainable image in their mind. Everything that’s not in line with that idea is automatically written off as trash... Fact is it is very unlikely they will ever get what they want. So consumed with bitterness and hatred it’s almost impossible for these people to see greatness in anything. It’s a vicious cycle and the only way to escape is to move on to another fandom.

Your second comment is a tad over-dramatic wouldn’t you agree? It also sounds like a low-key threat and I really don’t appreciate that. I am very much aware that I am not immune to censorship but I am not sure what your point is. Are you trying to tell me that my only chance to avoid cencorship is to relocate to CPM? No thanks. I would rather find another platform or get my own website. Also, I have invested way too much into this tumblr blog, it’s not something I can simply give up and move on. I know many tumblr users have relocated to other platforms as a sort of protest but I will definitely not do that. If things become worse I will have to think of something but as of right now, I can live with the situation on tumblr. Let’s see what the future holds...

I guess instead of replying to questions about CPM you want me to write essays about censorship on tumblr which is - according to you - the very scourge of humanity? Sorry, I am not the type to use my blog for political statements. Yeah, I will admit, things have been a bit troublesome on tumblr but it’s certainly not as bad as some people make it out to be... I don’t necessarily agree with the methods they are using but they are par for the course...And I definitely wouldn’t compare the regulations that are implemented on this website (however sloppy they may be) to actual censorship that has happened and is still happening to people in the “real world”.

Okay, I think that’s it for me...

[pokesception]

Whelp, started playing pokemon sword.  Have complained quite a bit here about dexit & related issues, and honestly I would have skipped at least the initial versions of these games entirely, or at least held off on purchasing them until we could see just how egregious pokemon home will be.  But my brother got shield, and my problems with sword and shield are not so severe that I’m going to refuse to play a game with family.

Thoughts so far?  Setting dexit entirely aside it’s... another pokemon game, for better and worse.  Largely for the better.  The new monsters, at least those I’ve encountered so far, are fun and good.  Music is nice.  Tone is bright and cheerful.  I love my team, and my protagonist.  It’s been nice.

As expected going to a more powerful console, it looks better, but it’s not a huge jump from the 3ds games, not least because lot of the visuals of this game are ported over directly from those games, and the stuff that is new has been made so as to not clash aesthetically with the older stuff.  If you’ve seen mods of usum that display the games at higher res and without the black outlines, it’s very much like that.  Closer to that even than to the let’s go games in ways that I find difficult to articulate.  In and of itself that’s not a complaint, really, the game looks plenty good enough for a pokemon tame.  It’s just not a major leap forward in presentation like the leap from gen 5 to gen 6 was.

Gameplay is mostly what you might expect.  Tall grass battles are an interesting mix of pokemon you can see on the field and engage or avoid as you wish and random battles that appear in the grass.  The random fights appear as a rustling in the grass that again can be pursued or avoided, you just can’t tell what they’ll be before you bump into them.  Finding rarer pokemon in a route is often a matter of sneaking or dashing between the new pokemon to get to the random fight, then crossing your fingers and hoping for the pokemon you want.  I’m not sure if there’s deeper levels to it, like chaining or whatever.  At the surface level it’s engaging enough.

The new pokemon are great so far.  There’s a bunch early on that you won’t have seen if you avoided leaks, and that was really excited.  I went into gen 7 knowing every new pokemon and with a particular desired team all worked out in advance.  This time around I’ve avoided spoilers, and gamefreaks official previews have kept a lot more hidden, so it’s been really fun to meet a lot of cool new faces early on.

The game does let you skip some early tutorials, but still frustrates to no end by stopping you every three seconds for another unnecessary explanation or detour, so it’s still pokemon in that unfortunate regard.  Routes are, if anything, more linear than ever before, at least early on, with the exception of an early expedition through the wild area which... I’ll talk about later.

Experience share is always on and cannot be turned off.  It scales shared xp based on the level of the pokemon, with lower level pokemon getting a higher portion, but not by enough so it’s still a pain to keep everything in the same level range, and you’ll still probably be wildly over leveled from very early on with nary a challenge to be seen even if you try to avoid grinding.

You can access the box from anywhere, which can be used to help overcome both the maintaining-a-level-range and over leveling problems of the experience share, but it’s a hassle to do, and wouldn’t be necessary if you could just toggle off shared exp in the options menu.  And on another level it makes the game even easier, since attrition is much less of a problem when you can swap in fresh pokemon whenever you feel like.

The online functionality is... kind of bad.  Maybe it’s just my internet, but being online in the wild area causes all sorts of slowdown.  Worse, there’s no equivalent to the pss functionality from gen 6.  No way to just see which of your switch friends are online and directly offer to trade or battle with them.  No instead you have to contact them *outside of the game* to share a 4 digit password, and then hope that nobody else happens to be using the same password as you when you try to connect with each other.  Raid battles are neat, but infuriatingly use the same password hassle.  You can’t just have easy friend-only raids from within the game itself.

It’s marginally better then gen 7′s festival plaza, but it remains miles and miles behind gen 6′s pss system that was simple and intuitive, and just centuries ahead of anything that came before or after.

Apart from raid battles, the wild area is... interesting?  Not all that different from having just a really big route with subareas of various level ranges.  Not bad, but not as big a departure as I had made it out to be in my head.  An idea with some potential that future games might expand into something great but that, knowing this series, will just be dropped after a single generation instead.  I’m still pretty early in the game, so my opinion on it might change after returning to it later.

The biggest frustration of the wild area, and something that brings it down tremendously, is that while you can encounter, and with some effort defeat, pokemon there, you cannot catch them at all if they’re above an arbitrary level range set by your number of gym badges.  This runs so completely counter to everything almost good about the wild area that I basically swore the whole thing off until I get to the end of the game, and frankly they might as well have just made it a post game area at that rate.

It’s extra frustrating because the problem of a player getting access to a pokemon too strong for the game too early on is one that the pokemon games already solved infinitely more elegantly all the way back in gen 1!  Just make pokemon that you acquire at too high a level uncontrollable, exactly like traded pokemon, so you can catch that over leveled onyx or whatever, but can’t use it until you’ve progressed far enough in the game for it not to be over leveled anymore.  How hard is that?  And who cares if a player gets an over powered pokemon early and steam rolls the game?  If that’s how the player wants to play, why is it a problem?  It’s not like the main game is challenging to begin with, thanks to always on exp share its almost impossible not to have over leveled pokemon anyway, what does it matter if it’s because you caught them that way or because they just outleveled the game curve?  A better exp scaling system would fix all those problems anyway.

Pokemon games not only failing to progress and solve problems that return game after game, but also repeatedly forgetting solutions that the series has already implemented is the longest running and most frustrating and most justified complaint to level at the entire series.  Of course, in the past pokemon as a series always had one core feature that none of the other - often more innovative - monster hunting games that sprang up in its shadow could replicate.  Backwards compatibility, the ability to maintain your collection in full going forward from generation to generation in a chain unbroken since gen 3 on game boy advance.  And that’s where dexit puts a sour note on the whole business.

The last several pokemon generations have failed to significantly improve on the core gameplay of a nearly two decade old franchise, but for many that has been largely forgiven because each new generation could easily be viewed not as stand alone games but rather as major expansions to the same existing game.  Dexit breaks from that, and forces the new games to be viewed as stand alone games and... well they aren’t pad at all.  They’re still cute.  I’m having fun so far.  Sword and Shield is no Anthem, no Fallout 76, no singular disaster to turn an otherwise largely positive track record on its head, and the extreme negativity directed against the game has been way overstated, even probably by myself.  In particular any vitriol directed at the devs is almost certainly unwarranted, the problems that have been growing in the pokemon series generation after generation almost certainly come down to corporate decisionmaking way above the heads of anyone who actually *worked* on the game.

Still, now that gamefreak’s pattern of cutting progressively more and more corners has reached the point of cutting actual pokemon, it’s shouldn’t be surprising that a lot of people who had been giving all those issues a pass suddenly aren’t anymore.

And while pokemon sword and shield isn’t a bad game, it’s hard to compare it to something like oras or usum and say it’s worth 50% more up front cost AND an added monthly subscription to access features like GTS that used to be just part of the game to begin with.

The dex cuts would have been more forgivable if the games had been a major leap forward, whether in graphics or gameplay.  Monster Hunter World, for instance, had /dramatically/ less content in terms of sheer quantity than the games that came right before it, but it also completely overhauled the visuals, heavily revised and updated the core gameplay, and completely changed how the area maps worked.

Alternatively, I think all the people currently complaining about models and trees and balance would have been fine with ‘just another pokemon game’ if it had maintained the backwards compatibility, just as they’ve been alright with ‘just another pokemon game’ for game after game after game until now.  Imagine if gamefreak had announced sword and shield as the last main line games to maintain all previous pokemon instead of the first games not to.  Then at least everybody’s personal faves would have had the chance to see play on a home system, and sword and shield could advertise themselves as the biggest pokemon games ever and actually mean it, and players would have time to adjust to what was coming.

I’m reminded of a scene from the Gravity Falls Halloween episode in season one.  Mabel & Dipper had always trick or treated together, but this year dipper decided to ditch mabel to try and go to a teen party, arguing that they were getting too old for trick or treating.  To which Mabel says something along the lines of “I knew some Halloween would be our last, but I didn’t realize it had already happened.”

And that’s the feeling I have with pokemon right now, the wet blanket draped over all the bright colors and fun new characters and monsters in sword and shield.  I knew eventually pokemon games wouldn’t be able to keep supporting all the pokemon, I knew eventually my collection would be left behind.  But I didn’t think it had already happened.  And to find out that gen 7 of all games was the last ‘complete’ pokemon?  That’s just kind of sad to realize.  And while I am on balance enjoying sword and shield, it’s a realization that keeps coming back uninvited to sour the experience.

[morlock-holmes]

This was floating around a lot on my dash a while back and I thought there were a couple of things interesting about it.

First, everybody the author talks to agree that they are changing their appearance to be more appealing to an audience, but who that audience is is left implicit through the entire article. Terms like “sexualization” and “nude selfies” are used, which might lead you to think that the audience is men who want to objectify women, except only once does the article mention a man’s reaction to cosmetic surgery (Well, botox injections, I don’t know if that counts as “surgery”), specifically, the author’s husband, who reacts to her botox injections thusly:

One night, after poring over the Instagram accounts of Internet-famous teenagers who were rumored to have gotten “stuff done,” and whose publicists would not return my emails, I began to consider getting “stuff done” myself. “Would that be crazy?” I asked my husband before bed. “Not again,” he said—at which point I remembered that I’d already done a round of botox and fillers, about three years ago, but in keeping with the ethos of plastic surgery, had kept it such a secret that I’d apparently forgotten it myself. It had not been easy to forget. The results had been traumatic—something about how the foreign substance slid around my muscles made it hard to smile afterward, and although I had no wrinkles in my wedding photos, I also looked stricken and insane. Weeks later, my husband actually started to cry, saying he missed my “old face,” and I snapped at him to “pull it together! This is harder for me than it is for you, and it’s temporary, and I’ll never do it again.”

(Empahsis mine)

That is a remarkably negative reaction, and Hale’s reaction in turn seems, to me, to have an undertone of “Shut up, I didn’t do this for you, so get over it!”

So who was it for?

The question of who the audience is is probably the most interesting question raised there, but I have more to say about this part:

Loren, a 24 year old, who also works in media (and wanted to use a pseudonym because “there’s a stigma around plastic surgery”), got a breast reduction when she was a teenager, and now plans to get a nose job—but she has misgivings about the rhinoplasty, in part because it conflicts with the image she’d like to project online. “It feels like I want to be the kind of person who’s like, ‘accept yourself,’” she said. “But then why would I undermine that message by getting plastic surgery?” She acknowledged that she isn’t a celebrity—“It’s not like I’m a role model for anyone. But it’s a circular logic: seeing myself and wondering whether [the nose job] fits with how I want to present.”

Again, there is the intense consciousness of an audience. Loren is worried less about what she will think of her decision when she looks in the mirror, and more about how other people will judge that decision. Basically, she wants two things:

For the audience to see her as beautiful; 

For the audience to see her as somebody who values something more transcendent than beauty, like self-acceptance. 

The solution is to work very, very hard at creating what she considers a beautiful body, but to keep all that work intensely private, for fear that it would be seen as shallow and inauthentic. In public, you very loudly affirm that you value self-love, empowerment, and self-expression, and create the impression that, by valuing those things so hard, you created this perfect instagram look, almost by accident, almost as a sort of emergent phenomenon of the process of being so gosh-darn authentic and self-affirming. 

Smash cut! There was a brief mini-genre, not long ago, where pop culture savy nerds would explain that Captain America represented a great source of positive masculinity, an excellent lesson in getting rid of the bad kind of toxic masculinity that men are inundated with and replacing it with a better, different way.

Here’s Dr. Nerdlove explaining it.

“Pre-serum Rogers was someone who recognized that he was hardly the epitome of manly perfection. But rather than becoming a ball of resentment or looking for a magic fix that would let him become an “alpha” like his best friend Bucky, he simply kept trying to move forward.“

So, uh, not to be the fly in the ointment, but if a magic fix that let’s Steve Rogers become an “alpha” isn’t important, why do they, like, go out of their way to give him one?

I mean, he may not have become “a ball of resentment” but it’s also true that canonically, Rogers was pretty much given a magical “suddenly make me an alpha” pill, and, further, that this is what allows him to be a hero.

Dr. Nerdlove is mainly talking about the movie, so I will too. When, in the movie’s thinking, does Steve Rogers stop becoming a well-meaning wannabe hero and actually become a real hero? Nerdlove tells us himself:

And ultimately, it was that intense connection that made Captain America an actual hero instead of a USO touring attraction and shiller of war bonds. 

At least twice in the movie, Steve Rogers is told that he cannot help the war effort by fighting. First, before he takes the super soldier serum, when he is too sickly to join the army. He refuses to accept this; deep in his heart, he knows he has to fight.

But even after he gets the serum, the Army brass don’t see him as a fighter. Again he is told, in no uncertain terms, that, for his part, his violently fighting and overcoming other men would not be as useful a contribution to the war effort as his being a symbol.

Captain America wasn’t written by Preston Sturges, so it’s, actually somewhat oddly, not going to tell us that pictures and symbols are important.

No, he becomes a hero when he stops being a scrawny weakling, stops playing pretend, and uses his strength to violently dominate and defeat other men.  His ability to physically defeat and dominate the Red Skull and his minions is what ultimately saves the day and makes him a hero.

Incidentally, it’s been a while since I saw the movie, but isn’t the incident that incites him to take to the battlefield a scene where he hears actual soldiers from the front complain about how fake and lame he is compared to men who have seen real combat?

I’m not really trying to criticize the movie so much as the use it is being put to here.

It’s the exact same dynamic as with the women above: it is very important for a man to be physically attractive, strong, brave, able to take charge, and able to defeat any other person who challenges him.

But it’s equally important that he not be seen to care about those things or put effort into them. That would be kind of scary. It would say bad things about him.

So the ideal man is a man who displays all of those old masculine characteristics, but has achieved them through a sort of accident, that it just happened as a kind of emergent quality from what he really values.

The problem with using that as a role model is the world does not work that way. Wanting very badly to stand up to bullies does not magically give you a six-pack, being really into self-actualization doesn’t make your make-up perfect.

Pretending that it will is a gateway to neurosis.

[miraakhan]

10 reasons why Thugs of Hindostan failed

This is not a film review. This is a critique of all the unwarranted criticism Thugs has garnered, which has been so extreme that part of me wonders if it’s all somewhat premeditated. But conspiracy theories aside, nothing evokes such vitriolic more than challenging the Indian people’s implicit prejudices. Which ones? Well, where do I even start. Here are just the top 10 prejudices reasons why this perfectly acceptable movie is getting unacceptable levels of hate...

1.       Because Indians are racists

How many Pirates of the Caribbean movies did they make again? And how many of them flopped at the Indian box office? I assure you, nobody was complaining about ‘illogical’ stuff in those movies. Why, because those movies were made by white and not brown people? Mind you the same junta will go watch Guy Ritchie’s Robin Hood this weekend and come out all praise for its fantastical, logic-defying action sequences. But since he’s a gora, well.. as Khudabaksh Jahazi says – “Ek Hindustani ka sabse bada dushman ek Hindustani hi hota hai.” 

2.       Because Indians are sexists

There are two female protagonists in the movie. And needless to say that is just two too many for the patriarchal junta of India. How dare they have a female character who is not a damsel in distress, but instead is a terrific archer and kicks total ass?!? To top that, how dare they have the other one be a prostitute with clear agency over her body, a rebellious mind of her own, and wield actual power over her male patrons? Nope, that’s just too much for desi pricks to handle, isn’t it? Also, given Aamir’s very vocal support of the #MeToo movement in India, I won’t be surprised if the social media attack on the movie was an orchestrated effort to hurt him for it.

3.       Because Indians are ageists

This is a country that clearly still idolizes youth and still hasn’t seen life expectancy go up like in the developed world. So how ridiculous to have a septuagenarian play one of the leading heroes, isn’t it?!? How utterly unbelievable to have said man look his exact age too, maybe even older. Mind you this is the country that happily sits through heavy-duty special effects just to have Rajni in a movie look half his age, because who the hell would ever come to theaters to watch Rajni the way he truly looks like now? 

4.       Because Indians are casteists

I hadn’t thought of this myself until an article in the Indian Express pointed it out. Firangi Malhar – Aamir’s character is clearly what one would call a ‘low-born’ hailing from an oppressed social and economic background. But that simply won’t do, will it? Did the movie makers really expect Indians to root for a… a Dalit? How dare they force us to confront our deep-rooted casteist prejudices like that, when all we want to do is enjoy a movie on a long weekend?

5.       Because Indians are religious bigots

And let’s not forget the other sacrilegious decision the movie makers now live to regret… to have three out of the four main protagonists be Muslim?! Oh my God. Literally. Keep in mind who this country voted into power five years ago and probably will again next year – a Hindu fundamentalist wannabe-dictator with a track record of supporting communalist elements in his own party. Here’s what’s funnier but also sad: the villains are more secular than the audiences of this movie. The British are actually celebrating Dussehra, and even if it’s nothing more than cultural appropriation, it’s still more religiously tolerant than Indians these days. 

6.       Because Indians are self-righteous hypocrites

The self-righteousness dripping from some of the reviews I read online is both laughable and infuriating. What about the word “Thugs” did these apparently literate guys not understand? Protagonists can be regular people too you know, and regular people are not perfect. The heroes in this story aren’t trying to be heroes, nor do they claim to want anything more than their very deeply personal objectives – revenge, resolving internalized guilt etc. In fact, the only person who ends up risking everything without any personal agenda, is Suraiyya Jaan. But does the desi audience appreciate the multidimensional complexities of these very human characters? Noooo. In a period movie set during the colonial era, desi heroes better be a sati savitri, or sata savitra, or they might as well be villains.

 7.       Because Indians are stereotypers

So if the Indian audience is to be believed, stereotyping morons that they are, Aamir Khan should only do movies with a social message in them and nothing else. He’s an actor for god’s sake, why can’t he just do a movie for the sheer entertainment value of it? He has repeatedly said so in his interviews, to the very same media people who now completely choose to ignore his pleas to just let him be an artist. The fact that he is socially responsible is a huge bonus that we should all be bloody grateful for, not use it to put him in a box that restricts his creative instincts. (And if some of you are now arguing that I’m doing the same thing, stereotyping all Indians as the same, well I’m sorry. I know I’m doing it, but at least now you know how it feels.)

8.       Because Indians are ungrateful

How quickly everyone seems to have forgotten the immense contributions Aamir and Mr. Bachchan have made to Bollywood. And this isn’t unique to the film industry. Indians are just as ungrateful to their sports idols, refusing to acknowledge that sportspeople, like actors, are only human. Everyone is bound to have bad days. So what if Yuvi doesn’t perform today, why let it erase the memory of the six sixes he hit in Durban ten years ago? How is it okay to insult and deride this man who is trying his best? It’s especially hurtful when it happens to Aamir because he’s been incredibly selfless in his attempts to improve quality of life in India. Sadly, Aamir, this society does not appreciate, let alone be grateful for, your activism, or your artistry.

9.       Because Indians are group-thinking morons

I don’t know if this is particularly true for desis or just a human trait in general. But it’s particularly hilarious to see it play out on social media. The lack of individual thought is sorely evident in all the reviews and trolls I read online. Also, newsflash, if all you do is retweet, reblog, and forward, you might as well be a mindless bot spreading fake news but adding no value to the discourse whatsoever. If you have a contrarian opinion (like maybe you actually liked the movie) but are too afraid to share it, why have a social media page at all? And for God’s sake, if you never saw the movie, shut the fuck up.

10.   Because Indians are trolls

Years of repression is likely responsible for this surge in social media trolling in India, but come on, you can only understand and excuse this behavior for so long. These trolls seem to have taken special interest in bringing down our biggest heroes and mind you, Aamir truly is a hero in real life – the kind we sorely need. And yet, for the very same reasons, he seems to have a target on his back, especially on the internet where cowards attack him while hiding behind anonymity. No matter what their agenda (jealousy, SRK stans, an episode of SMJ hit too close to home), they seem intent on holding Aamir personally responsible for shortcomings of the movie. I’ll admit Thugs isn’t perfect but none of its faults are the actors’ fault. Either way, I don’t think they’re doing it mindlessly. Like I said before, I strongly suspect an orchestrated conspiracy to bring the movie down. Why? Well, take your pick. Aamir has definitely pissed off a lot of people who want to keep the status quo.