#this is about five hargreeves

[likahble]

in order to be the in camp asshole division of my blorbos you have to be a hater with principles. would this guy mercilessly mock the people they love? yes. would they do it to such a relentless extent that said family/found family may question that they even Like them (only for Character to make a sort of big selfless sacrifice for them)? yes. would they be respectful to a customer service worker? also yes.

[brionysea]

everyone else: prying information out of five like pulling teeth

five, walking up to viktor and klaus unprompted: hey. the apocalypse is coming. help me out

[feralnumberfive]

So let me get this straight: Five hid from Lila that he had found his previous journal that told them how to get home just so that he could deepen his relationship with her and hide from the world? So that he could completely forget about his beloved wife Dolores and go on to steal his brother's wife and the mother of their children? And nonetheless without any of his family members knowing where he and Lila are? Completely abandoning his family? And potentially letting them die in another apocalypse?

Fuck that. To the max

[briefkittenearthquake]

I like my men smart

[twobraincells-art]

Brisket Five would have beat the crap out of S4 Five (and Steve Blackman <3)

[journalofabird]

What happened to the other 36 children that were born on October 1st 1989?

Why is Reginald Hargreeves an alien?

Why did Abigail say "Thanks for protecting me on the moon" to Luther?

Why was Jennifer inside a squid?

What happened to Sloane when all the others got to another timeline?

Without the comics, there are still so many questions left unanswered in the umbrella academy show itself.. and it's driving me crazyyy

[my-special-place-in-hell]

tua fandom rn

[krittec]

there’s something extremely extremely creepy about taking an actor that you have known since they were 13 years old, only JUST a teenager, and making them kiss a fully grown woman the second that they turned a legal adult.

Steve Blackman already has a ton of shit out against him which came out recently so it unfortunately doesn’t surprise me that he would write something like this but it makes me genuinely concerned for everything behind the scenes.

There has been a HUGE problem in the Umbrella Academy fandom since season ONE when Aidan was a 13-14 year old of people writing insanely disgusting stuff and defending it because his character was mentally an adult but oh my god did they make it worse. You’d think they’d protect actor & character by avoiding any romantic interaction but instead you have him kiss an actress 15 years older than him. The age gap being the age that he was when they filmed season two. Quite honestly I feel that if he could’ve done this seasons previously and gotten away with it then he definitely would’ve done it, given the jokes that are actively made.

Quite honestly may Steve Blackman never work again if this is how he treats his actors because this is awful. I’m not even done with the season but that gave me very little desire to continue and this show has been important to me in ways I can’t explain. Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion but it feels so insanely creepy and horrific to me and I needed to rant.

[fogmachine03]

i think they should give us season four again but instead of homewrecker five they should show us brisket five cause i wanna see what his deal is

[theplotdemandsit]

When Five finally makes it back home with his siblings, finally makes it back to the right timeline, he finds he’s still holding his breath. 

“Is it really over?” He thinks out loud. 

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” comes Luther’s response. 

So they do. And everything seems…normal?

But as much as Five wants to sleep for ten days straight, he can’t help but feel on edge. He spends his time visiting each sibling, popping in for dinners or briefly making sure they haven’t felt anything out of the ordinary. One day Allison asks him if he actually wants there to be an approaching apocalypse. His eyes fall onto Claire who’s catching him up on High School Musical the Musical the Series.

“No,” he answers. “I really don’t.” 

They make time for family dinners every Sunday. They still bicker and maybe swing some fists every now and then, but everyone is fast to apologize and laugh again. With room to breathe again without high stakes, the hurt finally begins to heal. They had been family before, but it slowly begins to feel like a real family. 

And for the first time, they really get to know each other. For all the crap they gave Luther about the moon, they listen as he shares the misery and loneliness and betrayal he felt. Allison describes her time as a Black woman in the 60s without her voice. Literally. Viktor tells them about what it was like growing up powerless only to end the world twice. How he lost his memory and found the one he loved only to lose that too. 

Klaus manifests Ben (who is still a ghost but as alive as he could get) and together they tell of their adventures growing up and the cult Klaus accidentally created. In between laughs, they also learn about Klaus’s harrowing experiences with drugs and death.

And Five? He has over 40 years of stories, and at first he doesn’t want to share any of it. His time in the Apocalypse, his time in the Commission, murdering for the sole purpose of survival in order to get back to his family—it’s not a side to him he wants his family to know about. 

But at the same time for reasons he can’t explain, he does want them to know. For the first time, he wants to talk to his family, the family he worked tirelessly to save. 

Little by little, he does just that. Every now and then he will start a sentence with, “Back in the Apocalypse…,” during dinner or his visits with them. Silly ones at first, like the time he had the nasty Twinkie. The time he sang all the Beatles songs he could remember and pretended he was having a concert. The time he found Umbrella Academy action figures and reenacted missions with them. 

When it’s just him and another sibling, he starts sharing some of the hard stuff too.

He tells Allison how he starved during his first winter alone and hallucinated that she had helped him find food. When he woke up he found himself in a storage house full of canned goods and bawled his eyes out.

He tells Diego about the first time he killed someone. How the scariest thing was that he wasn’t shaking. 

He tells Viktor how he sometimes still wonders if he deserves everything he got for messing with time in the first place. How he’s afraid that one of these days he’ll wake up and be alone again.

He tells Klaus about the time he thought about giving up and ending it all. 

He tells Luther about Dolores. About how even though he knew he was crazy for talking to a mannequin, Dolores was the better part of him that salvaged his sanity.

He tells Ben (and Klaus, by default) that his biggest regret is not being there. That he tries not to think about how things might have been different if he’d stayed.

Slowly, slowly, bit by bit, the tension eases from his shoulders. He stops worrying so much about the world ending and how to keep everyone alive. Instead, he spends his time going to the park with Claire, helping Diego and Lila with the babies, having midnight food outings with Klaus, and listening to Viktor play his music.

At their weekly family dinner, Luther tells Five he has a present for him and pulls out a box of Twinkies, saying, “I know you want to try one.”

Five gives him a practiced glare and says, “I would rather swim in a pot of boiling oil.”

Before, his family might have stared at him like he grew two heads, but now they laugh and think his retort is hilarious. Luther opens the box and pulls out a bag of marshmallows instead, and Five can’t help but crack a smile. 

One day they ask him what his plans are—what’s next for the oldest sibling.

Five warms his hands on a hot mug of coffee. “I’m tired of thinking about the future,” he tells them. “Right now, I just want to spend time with my family.”

That earns him plenty of “aww”s and “You’re such a softie, Five.” He waves them away and tries to duck out of their hugs, but they get him in the end. And even if he could teleport, he doesn’t want to.

He hadn’t been looking for happy, but he found it anyway.

Now cross-posted on Ao3 under the same handle!

[boujee-marsh]

I loved Gene and Jean but why did they get a dance scene and more character development than the Hargreeves????

[vibinginthebg]

Still trying to find how to draw them ✨

[laurrelise]

number five hargreeves has 2 dads and it’s robert sheehan and david castañeda

[greyromanticghoul]

so y'know how the original concept for five's apocalypse outfit had him wearing allison's leather jacket?

imagine him having to collect the clothes of his dead family just to stay alive and warm. and imagine that when he goes back to a timeline where they're all alive he has the habit of yoinking any new clothes they buy (once the multiple apocalypses are over and season 4 doesn't exist) because his brain is still in Apocalypse Mode and the clothes are his reminder when it gets bad that his family is here and alive

[giant-ball-of-twine]

I really wish there was a way to hold the writers accountable for season 4 of umbrella academy. I’m not talking vigilante justice or anything, but they need to know how badly they messed up and what they’ve ruined for us. They’ve made the ENTIRE show, ALL seasons, essentially unwatchable. They’ve butchered characters we know and love. And they don’t care - they think they’ve done an amazing job and are sitting happily on their millions of dollars

[briefkittenearthquake]

when i was a kid i had an OBESE crush on aidan gallagher in nicky, ricky, dicky, and dawn. now i look at him as this pyscho killer, and hes way more hot like how you go from

this:

to this:

(i’d let him nicky, ricky and dick-me down)