#this is a thirst trap for US (lesbians)

[dykestache]

new heart bong 🫀

[wild-wombytch]

Too fucked to look at my +100 notifications, but here's a butch back three weeks into the gym subscription instead :

Men, fuck off. No other dni. As long as it's not hatemail, the ladies are allowed to be freaky in the comments.

[abbysthighs]

The blood spatters!

[comfyknife]

worship your local clocky broad tonight

[fingertipsmp3]

Deleted tiktok off my phone 🙌🏻 let’s hope it lasts

[st-dionysus]

(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW

It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.

I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.

I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.

I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.

T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.

I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.

I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.

I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.

I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.

I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.

No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.

I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.

I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.

I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.

I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.

My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.

It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?

A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.

I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.

I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.

Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.

I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.

I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.

Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.

Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.

Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?

Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I puke and miss the toilet.

[weaver-z]

Sofia would use tumblr to post androgynous lesbian thirst traps and Katya would use tumblr to create deeply enviable aesthetic blogs while liking Sofia’s thirst traps and Andrey would write long untagged vent posts that got no likes and Goncharov would never use tumblr. Ice Pick Joe would have 20k followers minimum.

[infectioustomfoolery]

HALF LIFE HEADCANONS

(feat my man kade)

For all intents and purposes, this is for fun and any time period mishaps should be ignored. Part two eventually.

Gordon Freeman

- 5’10”, green eyes and slutty little waist, he/him, autistic, dumb little ponytail.

- So white. So very very white.

- Makes absolutely no facial expressions ever.

- Talks exclusively through sign language, but even then sparingly.

- Got a major staring problem.

- Probably trans idfk.

- He’s definitely gay or aroace.

- He has no idea he’s autistic, gay, or in love with Barney.

- He has PTSD and because of that he’s a prick to the Vortigaunts.

- Hopelessly addicted to morphine

- Anger issues but no one can tell

- Everyone in Black Mesa wants to fuck him silly.

- Derealization issues

- Really does NOT fw Alyx

- Regularly keeps up with Aperture Science

- Chell’s brother

- “I’m not gay, Barney.”

- He is. He so is.

- Definitely thinks Barney is a sexy beast in the combine uniform

- Plays DND and likes Star Trek

Barney Calhoun

- 5’6”, he/him, spectral heterochromia

- Gay and knows it

- Probably trans too fuck if I know

- Fluffy hair, permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He’s so goddamn hairy.

- If he doesn’t pluck his eyebrows, he’ll grow a unibrow

- Dadbod

- Alcoholic

- Literally never shuts up

- Every single guard in Half Life 1 is Barney. They’re all Barney. Always have been.

- The Blue Shift Barney is “our” Barney, though. I like to think he retained all the other Barney’s memories.

- Frat boy in college. He told them he liked football and now he has to pretend

- Poses infront of the mirror everytime he has a uniform on

- Understands Gordon Freeman perfectly literally no matter what

- He got a fucked up leg from the elevator crash.

- Cries over Gordon at least once a day

- Really hates all the Half Life 1 scientists. They’re douches.

- Gun enthusiast

- Likes conspiracy theories

- Lauren doesn’t exist, she never existed. He’s just a fat liar.

- Listens to Mitski

- Beefs with Adrian because Adrian thinks its funny but really does not care

- Southern as Hell

Adrian Shephard

1.) She’s a FEMALE

2.) She’s not a BOY

3.) and most importantly, She’s a GIRL!

- 6’5”, blue eyes, she/him (she has a preference for she but Does Not Care.)

- Butch lesbian

- Was in the military with Soldier from TF2. She played along with his antics and sort of “trained” under him.

- white, but very tan

- She gets hurt a lot

- Laughs obnoxiously loud

- Wears boxers

- Blonde, either a crewcut or mullet situation

- Probably has an eyebrow slit, but in a scar way not in a gay way

- Speaking of which she is COVERED in scars and bullet wounds

- Also freckles why not

- Very high pain/spice tolerance

- Fucking LOVES nascar (poor and stupid)

- Was able to make it into the military because when she was filling out the papers she wrote "yes" next to sex and the government just thought he was a normal amount of US Marine stupid

- Colette and Gina saw her from across the bar, and they really dig her vibe

- Her mask makes her sound really grovely and awesome (see: https://youtu.be/Fr8Jxm65EC8?si=5WvOpXfQerjM7G79 )

- She beefs with Barney

- Gets a kick out of annoying Gordon Freeman to death

- Probably makes thirst traps on TikTok

- Has really good abs

- Scout’s older sister

- So she’s from Boston

[dyemelikeasunset]

I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭

It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??

AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)

And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED

and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)

And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??

Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always

if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it

[littledata]

I know you’re probably working on those prompts, but I, too, just ended up on North Sea tiktok, and if you have time, I’m curious what Ava’s reaction to that particular algorithmic destination would be. Because like, Bea’s the most capable person ever, but those waves are Very Big, and why isn’t everyone tethered to the boat at all times??

(From the on that dizzy edge universe. An example video if anyone would like context.)

For a long time, Ava's TikTok experience was predictable. It mostly went: hot girl biting her lip, hot girl playing guitar, hot dude baking a cake, weirdly mesmerising crafting video, drama about people she'd never met, hot person kissing another hot person.

The number of straight-up thirst traps has been on the decline recently though - mostly because Ava just has to turn her head and Bea will be changing her shirt or using a hammer or standing perfectly still, all of which is a lot hotter than any video she's ever seen. In its infinite wisdom though, The Algorithm has seen her scrolling past those videos and decided it needs to fill the void with something else.

That thing, apparently, is North Sea TikTok.

They're lying in bed when it happens for the first time. Beatrice had spent the first few weeks after she came home insisting they should try to maintain separate bedrooms, move their relationship along at an orderly and appropriate pace, but she pretty quickly gave in to the allure of spooning and her bedroom defaulted to being both of theirs.

Now, before they go to sleep, they often end up lying side by side while Beatrice reads one of her insane books about lesbian necromancers or whatever and Ava scrolls TikTok or reads fanfiction about hot people falling in love in coffee shops and stuff. It makes her feel mature and settled and safe in a way that's sometimes so exciting she has to take Bea's book out of her hands and make out with her about it.

Anyway, so they're doing that (lying in bed, not making out) when it shows up on her for you page. It starts with the weird, slow sea shanty, then there's the huge waves, and then someone is getting slammed in the face with the fucking ocean.

Ava lets it loop. Then she lets it loop again. Then she taps on the suggested search north sea tiktok and she's presented with a thousand more videos exactly like the first. People falling overboard and huge waves crashing over ships and and and -

"Bea." Ava taps her arm insistently.

Bea looks up from her book without much concern - she doesn't use TikTok but she does submit to being shown Ava's curated favourites. Also, she's wearing glasses and she looks super cute.

No, Ava, don't get distracted.

"Bea," she repeats and holds her phone up to her face.

Beatrice watches with a scrutinising gaze. When the video finishes, she says, "They really shouldn't be filming in those situations, it's distracting them from proper safety precautions."

Ava stares at her. "That's all you have to say? They could have died."

"Possibly," Beatrice agrees. "Once someone falls overboard it's very difficult to recover them, although certainly not impossible. And it depends a lot on the kind of ship. I assume someone wouldn't post a video where someone died though."

Although Beatrice's naivety about what people are willing to post on the internet is adorable, Ava's mind is stuck somewhere in between the words overboard and impossible. Even Beatrice, careful and capable as she is, couldn't keep herself from being swept off her feet by some of those waves. Ava can picture her so vividly, disappearing under the surface.

"You're not making me feel better about this."

"Oh." Beatrice blinks in surprise as if she has only just realised that they aren't having a purely practical discussion. She puts her book carefully down on the nightstand. "I'm not sure what to say. I can't lie to you and pretend it isn't dangerous. Those are cherry-picked clips showing the worst though, it isn't always like that."

Which, yeah, okay, Ava already knew it was dangerous. For all the months that Beatrice is away she lives with the low-level, prickling anxiety that the next call she gets will be telling her Bea is hurt, or worse. It's different seeing it though, seeing how quick it is, how powerful -

"How often are you in the north sea?" she asks, as if that's the only problem with it.

Beatrice winces, "Well, it depends. The contracts I work - " She explains something complicated and lengthy about shipping and demand and the company she works for and Ava thinks she's the most interesting person in the world but this stuff is, also, a little bit boring and she's still pretty busy picturing her girlfriend's imminent death.

She needs to send these videos to Camila. If there's anyone she can rely on to overreact with her, it's Camila.

"Ava," Beatrice says, seeing that she's lost her. She tugs Ava's phone gently from her hands and puts it down next to her book. Then she wraps one arm around Ava's shoulders and the other around her waist and pulls her in close.

Ava has always loved being hugged by Bea, even before they got together - she's strong and solid and lets Ava hold on for as long as she needs to. (Also, she smells fucking amazing, like, all the time).

It wasn't until they started dating that she realised Beatrice had been holding something of herself back though, not letting herself relax entirely whenever they touched. Now, it's as if her whole body sinks into it, like some tension evaporates the moment Ava's arms are around her.

Ava pushes her face into Beatrice's chest and inhales, lets herself hide there in the fabric of her shirt for a moment. It's dark and warm and hard to worry about anything.

"I promise I do everything I possibly can to come home safe to you," Beatrice says into her ear, "I'm sorry I can't give you any more reassurance than that."

"Okay," Ava says, voice muffled against Beatrice's chest. It's not enough but it has to be enough. This is Bea's job, the thing she loves more than anything else, and Ava won't ever touch the sanctity of that. "I'm still going to worry about you."

"I know." Beatrice presses a kiss into her hair and pulls back, "I worry about you too though, when I'm gone."

Ava rolls her eyes, "The most dangerous thing that could happen to me is Lilith finally snapping and turning on everyone she loves."

"So fairly likely then?" Beatrice asks.

Ava snorts, "Like a 90% chance."

They settle themselves to go to sleep, lying down fully and adjusting the pillows and blankets. That's another thing Ava learned recently: Beatrice - her big, tough sailor - likes being the little spoon. She won't admit to that, obviously, but she sighs contentedly whenever Ava wraps her arms around her from behind.

So when Beatrice reaches up to switch the lamp off, Ava does just that, presses herself against Bea's back. She listens to Beatrice's breathing become slow and even, and she clings on.

[intothedysphoria]

Depending on your point of view, coming across Billie Hargrove’s Instagram account was either the best or the worst thing to ever happen in Stevie’s life.

Stevie didn’t even know that butches could have long hair but this one did. Granted in a douchey eighties mullet type of way. She also had a very pronounced six pack which she was not attempting to hide in any of her photos. Crystal blue eyes. A winning smile. Shit.

Billy, they/she, basketball stan and cringe Judith Butler supporter- 60% girl, 40% something else-meanest lesbian ever

Over the course of about three weeks, Stevie had looked over that profile at least six times a day. They were mesmeric and Stevie found herself wanting to be consumed. She’d never felt this way about a boy before. Not even Tommy Hagan who she’d dated for over a year before they split. And Billy was in fucking L.A. Nothing was ever going to happen between them.

Still, she found herself sliding into their DMs just before going to get her hair done. Nothing too I’ll-stab-you-and-keep-your-body-in-the-basement but like casual. Maybe a little flirty. They didn’t seem like they had a girlfriend.

What she ended up messaging was “hi Billie! You don’t know me but I love your jeans where did you get them from ☺️”

Smooth Stevie. Very smooth.

She couldn’t even talk to her hairdresser during her hair appointment because she was so embarrassed by what she’d done. A small part of her genuinely considered setting her phone on fire until she checked it again after her highlights were in.

Incredibly surprisingly to Stevie, Billie responded and not even that, responded very positively indeed.

It was all Hey pretty girl and smirking emojis and I got my jeans from this underground thrift store or whatever and Stevie didn’t exactly take any of the information in because she was so incredibly flustered.

If she flattered herself, Stevie knew she was pretty. She knew she had big eyes and glossy hair and full lips which usually led to a line of guys queuing up for a shot. Billie wasn’t like any of those frat guys she was used to or the pretentious hipsters she’d dated later on in college. If there was chasing that was going to be done, Stevie was going to have to do it herself.

A gratifying squirm started in her gut the next day, when she realised that Billy had followed her back. Stevie may have been far too chickenshit to actually message her back but still. Progress was progress.

They danced around talking for a bit. Billie always liked her stories but there was never actually any flirting. Just a palpable tension. Something waiting to begin.

Stevie was not a patient woman. So she decided to push it forward a little.

Posting a thirst trap wasn’t something Stevie had done since she was bored during lockdown but how hard could it be? It had to be like riding a bike or some shit. So she just uploaded a couple of pictures, no overthinking it.

After deleting about thirty different messages from guys, all of whom were being creeps in different ways, Stevie finally got to the message she hoped she’d get from Billie. For all the anxiety leading up to it, the actual content was remarkably short.

Cute 💖😙

Robin picked up after the third ring. Judging by the time of her voice, Stevie had definitely woken her up from a nap. Whoops.

“What the fuck is it dingus?” Ouch.

Stevie tried to answer without sounding like an absolute moron.

“Robin how do you know if a lesbian is flirting with you?”

The long silence indicated to Stevie that she’d absolutely sounded like a moron.

“What did she say dingus?”

Stevie told her then she hung up. Which seemed harsh.

Billie messaged again the following day. Again it was brief.

Sorry if I misread. I’ll leave you alone now.

Stevie had never scrambled to reply to a message as fast in her life. Begging Billie not to leave, she wasn’t very good at this type of flirting but she wanted to try.

Billie seemed a lot less bummed after that. And much flirtier. They’d explained about their ocd, the constant fear of being creepy or a bad person stopping her from messaging Stevie more. But now that they were talking they could try. If Stevie wanted.

Stevie did want. She wanted very much.

And when finally visited Billy one person about five months later and they were doing dumb first date stuff, being in love, she thought that was a pretty good story to tell their grandkids about how they’d met.

Embarrassing. But good.

@shieldofiron @dragonflylady77 @oopsiedaisiesbaby @thatgirlwithasquid @robthegoodfellow

[venusiancarbondioxide]

assigning the canaan house cavaliers a summer olympic sport

marta: shooting. specifically, i can see her shining in the rifle events. she has those glasses that make her look like a cyborg and is famously cool under the olympic pressure.

naberius: he's the only cav to actually be a fencer and he's stupidly good at it--he's bringing home a gold medal for sure. several people make thirst traps about him, but more people make videos mocking those thirst traps.

jeannemary: technically too young to compete at the olympics, but she is at the top of junior gymnastics. overall solid on everything, but she's a star on vault. her strategy is very high risk-high reward. she wants to land the triple-twisting yurchenko so much; this is a goal so insane that not even simone biles has done it.

magnus: basketball! he strikes me as a defense kind of guy. not the best on the team as far as skill, but he carries his weight and is excellent for team morale. one of those athletes that everyone uses as an example of good sportsmanship.

camilla: tennis. her game is fast and aggressive and utterly relentless--you have to have godly stamina to keep up with it. of the "the best defense is a good offense" school. she has a habit of switching what hand she uses between sets. this both prevents overuse injuries and fucks with people because hey, not that many people are canonically ambidextrous!

protesilaus: boxing. another guy who is stupidly good at his sport, goes into the olympics with multiple world titles to his name. he goes viral for a video where he picks up all of his kids at once.

colum: wrestling, specifically freestyle wrestling. he has the most intense training regiment out of everyone on this list, and frankly, it is Too Much. does well in the games, but would do better if he trained smarter, not harder.

gideon: the rugby lesbian of all time. she's the team captain and can stiff arm a motherfucker like you've never seen. getting hit by gideon nav on the field is equivalent to getting hit by a truck.

bonus!!

pyrrha: she has the same rugby energy as gideon, but in my heart of hearts, she's tennis. i want her and cam to have psychosexual tennis matches that would make the movie challengers blush.

loveday: boxing. she relishes in every opportunity she can get to legally punch someone in the face.

[hostilemuppet]

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[lovedrruunk]

What TikToks I think overwatch characters would post pt 2! (>ᴗ•) !

Part 1 !

Rein, don’t know if u guys know that liver king guy but he’s literally just rein if he took steroids. Posts tons of like gym core/culture videos yk BUT HES ONE OF THE GOOD ONES!!! Ppl in the community love him bc of how positive he is even though he’d give rlly bad advice “EATING THIS RAW TESTICLE INCREASED MY TESTOSTERONE LEVELS BY 9%!!!!”

D.va, this can go 2 ways. #1 in all her Korean celebrity realness posts vids doing trendy dances while using crazy whitening filters and doing aegyo. #2 goes by a fake name and trolls the fuck out of people. D.va being a hater is such a strong head canon of mine like I love her being a toxic bitch like yes slay or whatever so relatable! Replies to streamers she secretly hates like “Wow your mom’s basement looks so clean!” “My left toe can get better plays.” “Bet even your keyboard hates being touched by you.” basically meowbah or wtv her name was but less weird more cunty

Ana, she replies to reins TikTok’s telling his followers NOT to do anything he says, but other than that I can see her posting cooking vids (as every Arab mom does) but she’ll be talking sweetly in English and then suddenly start cussing something out in Arabic and it’ll be so off topic and it’s rlly funny “and then you add 1 cup of flour! ‘I told my lazyass lgbtqia daughter to pick up some earlier but of fucking course she chose to disappoint me again. Ever since the day I birthed her she has been disappointing me over and over again.’ A pinch of salt!”

Hanzo, DEPRESSION CORE SLIDESHOWS LMAOOO some “when the nice guy loses his patience… the devil shivers.” ass shit, bio is probs something stupid like “family betray, women cheat, Hennessy cures.”

Ashe, CONTROVERSIAL QUEEN !!! People forget she’s southern like please you cannot tell me she doesn’t have some crazyass takes. Will post borderline ragebait in like her car or something. “My gun identifies as a PLUNGER. Beat that Biden.” “BIDEN CANT TAKE MY GUNS, I KEEP THEM UPSTAIRS!!!” “Bidens oldass will probably find a way to outlive my OMNIC butler.” She’ll say all this stupid shit with a straight face and I just think that’s so funny. On rare occasions she’ll actually have a rlly good progressive take and ppl will be like okay hold up let her cook…

Tracer, kinda like junkrat where she's only famous cuz ppl lowk make fun of her and she hasn't caught on yet... I LOVEEEE Tracer she's my fav character but CMONNNN "Cheers love!" SHES NOT SURVIVING TIKTOK!!! ppl in the comments will be mocking her accent and she'll just think they're british too... ppl make fun of her NOT cuz they hate her but because she's just ummm eccentric that's the world plus she's british so that's rlly the only reason why ppl make fun of her like not in a mean way but just for funsies yk...

Pharah, being arab and being a lesbian I am 100% qualified to say this but she's such a fucking lesbo ykwim like 'hey mamas' type, she's also really whitewashed like thinks shes a white stud or something. Ellie Williams wannabe makes thirst traps in stained white wife beaters and expects every lesbian in a 100 mile radius to want her (they dont). Thinks playing basketball makes her the shit and she's just rlly desperate and lame. horny on main. Ana found one of her thirst traps once and it led to a really awkward convo

Kiriko, she's only there to post cute videos of her adventures with her gang and fox like shes just there to have a good time ykwim. And she's like popular bc all her fans r girls and her vlogs and stuff r just so nice to watch plus she's funny and rlly cool!

Baptiste, the anti-andrew tate. Hes so attractive and like confident that people can't help but like him ykwim like he makes little straight boys piss their pants with his bazillion level aura. He'll just post a random vid in his car maybe eating chipotle or something and he'll have men and women alike confessing their love for him in the comments. Lesbians love him.

Any character I haven't mentioned i just can't see posting or having tiktok!

[rewritingcanon]

Louis headcanons… 🤲

YASSS OKAYYYYY 😻

looks mostly like his dad with his mums colour palate. also a little more snatched like his mum and not as built as his dad. but you can TELL he’s bill’s son if you were to see them side by side

french fuckboy

grew his hair out and had a ponytail era. when he let it loose people genuinely confused him to be a girl (yes he gets hit on by LOTS of confused men and lesbians 😭)

gryffindor with dominique. only a year older than james sirius potter.

closer to dominique than to victoire but respects victoire more funnily enough. kind of like victoire is a second mum. has no problem roasting the shit out of dominique but will check himself with victoire

has begged victoire to give in and date teddy because he desperately wants a cool brother (was happier than teddy and victoire combined when they did get tgt)

is the vain delacour that molly weasley feared fleur was, except he’s masculine as hell and flexes in every mirror he sees (he still looks like a girl)

VERY pretty and could win miss universe or best waifu

he was the femboy reckoning at hogwarts but against his will. he wants women but he keeps pulling men. like that inosuke guy.

best subject was charms and DADA, courtesy of his dad being very talented and his mum being the same except also add her being a drill sergeant

nepo babied his way into interning at gringotts but got on the goblins nerves sm they fired him anyway (louis still pretended to go in because he was so scared about what his parents + victoire would say)

made a secret tiktok account for posting his thirst traps until dominique and victoire found it and he was so embarrassed he deleted it

favourite cousin is roxanne despite their age gap just because shes always so hilarious and always down to do whatever and just never takes anything seriously (also she was the cutest baby in louis’ opinion). its less a friendship and more like a one sided smittenness on louis’ side— he has a whole folder on his camera roll dedicated to her being generally goofy

people use his face for clout and to catfish people all the time. every time his girl friends need to loyalty test their man they just snap a photo of his face

that being said, he IS the man you need to loyalty test. mf has fifteen girls on the back burner that still think they have a chance with him

that also being said, hes waiting for marriage 🙏 (he wants his first time to be special guyz)

that ALSO being said, absolutely no one thinks he’s going to last that long

likes bantering with his mum a lot and getting on her nerves. she’ll start swearing at him in french when rapidly lecturing him in english doesn’t work and he finds that to be the funniest shit ever

bill weasley is such a Daughter Dad so he’ll baby tf out of victoire and dominique and then get louis to do all the household chores 💀

but louis is also the biggest diva in the family by far so bill and fleur drop more money on him than victoire and dominique combined. and then they complain about how spoilt their son is and the girls are just like “🙄 stop buying him shit then 😒”

meh at quidditch but decides he hates it because he’s not the best at it (it’s an ego thing)

really likes his maternal cousins and only allows aunt gabrielle to plait his hair

godfather is uncle percy 😭 every time its his bday louis forces percy to go shopping so he can drop some big bucks on him (whatever karma percy accumulated in his youth has taken the form of his godson now).

lucy is a year older than him and they keep feuding over her dad. think blue haired liberal versus white blond conventionally attractive man. thats the relationship, and its hilarious especially during joint family dinners.

used to be very scared of the dark and couldnt sleep by himself and so victoire was always forced to let louis sleep with her when they were younger

also always goes to victoire for hair care help and his mum for skincare and fashion help

despite being seemingly easygoing and carefree, he can hold VERY mean grudges and will never apologise for something if he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong.

also will fist fight someone over a yo mama joke (yes he’s sensitive about his mum, don’t insult her to his face)

everyone knows louis for the menace he is except grandma molly who treats him like hes the sun that the earth circles around (yes grandma molly likes bill’s kids the most, what of it?)

louis is surprisingly very sweet to old people. he does his due diligence and visits them the most, brings new presents to arthur and helps molly with chores and lets them fuss over him.

okayyyy i think ive yapped enough

[redbeanbunsworld-if]

Introduction - Tears of Tianchao

Interactive fiction - Tears of Tianchao

DEMO / Patreon / Discord

Latest update: June 30, 2024

After a decade from your home nation of Tianchao, you become Xiaowei Mao in the army involved in the intranational civil war called "DaiZai-Yige." You are sent by the Emperor of Zhongguog to another emperor to restore an ancient power from the late god Heibao. Your mission: kill the Holder of the Mark of Heibao. When caught in an unplanned, "attempted" assassination of the prince, you are thrown into a fight for life and death, traversing through the treacheries of civil war, betrayal, and honor. What was a simple assassination had only turned more sinister. Met in the face of human trafficking, political agendas, and with no one to trust, you uncover the untold lies of those involved in the fight. Will you be able to survive the wrath of the Holder of the Mark of Heibao till you earn his trust, or will you fall into the pits of death?

Tears of Tianchao is an ongoing interactive fiction with over 161,000+ words (excluding code) with tons of flavor text, 5 distinct personalities, and 6 ROs to choose from. Following the war as a Xiaowei, a high-positioned commander of an army and influential court official, every decision you make holds weight, and nothing is as it seems.

This is an 18+ interactive fiction containing graphic violence, gray morality, abuse, drugs, sexual content, and many more triggering content. Please proceed with caution and read the trigger/content warnings in the start menu of the game. Thank you.

Features

Choose to be a female or male Xiaowei.

Have any sexuality: gay, lesbian, straight, ace, or bi

Choose to romance the elites of the the war or share an unforgettable friendship.

Navigate between two sides of a civil war and use wits to satisfy both sides in favor of the one you choose: Empire and Rebel

Subdue the prince's suspicion or face the consequences.

Master martial arts, keen perception, and charisma to influence major decisions.

Gather information and learn about the nation of eternal spring, Tianchao, and deal with the corruption that plagues the dying land.

Character list

List of short stories and drabbles

Available Patreon Content

1. Ji Qiangxin HD Wallpaper + Art

2. Mo Ge HD Art

3. Luo Ying HD Art

4. Ji Shenglian HD Art

5. Ji Qiangxin thirst trap (SFW&NSFW) HD Art

6. Interactive Short Story: As the Green Willow Wilts

7. Interactive Short Story: Little Mandarin Minds

Lore Compilation

The Clearance

Song of Liberty

Crimson Festival

The Mark of Heibao

Massacre of Desert

(Click the link above)

Romances

RO Main Portraits (full portrait list under each RO)

Ji Qiangxin (he/him)

[only romanceable with an mmc + special route available if fmc (not romance)]

character profile

character official portrait/art

Known as: Heibao prince; exiled low-born; The Jian of XueHua

"This was not spoken by this prince as of yet, but before you leave, know this: betray me once, and not even Ji Yang-Guang can save your throat."

As the current holder of the Mark of Heibao, Ji Qiangxin was the next crown prince of Tianchao before his uncle took the throne. Fueled by his thirst for vengeance and the prosperity of his nation, the cold and intimidating prince believes that the imperial family of Tianchao must fall, and nothing will get in his way. He will use all means, even killing, if that is what it takes to restore peace, and that includes you—a Xiaowei sent as an assassin of Zhongguog. No one can temper the burning iron heart, and he never believes any can.

Ji Shenglian (she/her)

Character profile

character official portrait/art

[only romanceable with an fmc]

Known as: Lotus Princess; Grand Keeper of the South

"As the only princess of Tianchao, I have a duty, but sometimes, I do wonder if my birth was a mistake, just as Zhongguog and the current imperial family believe."

Benevolent and strikingly beautiful, Ji Shenglian is the only living princess with the blood of the imperial family in both Zhongguog and Tianchao. As the head magician of the rebel forces, she plays an integral role in war in secrecy, and foes tremble under her powerful manipulation of soul energy. Under the guise of the lychee eyes and delicate smile, she holds a fervent spirit and utmost loyalty to her brother, but even behind the shadows of him, a most humane and sincere desire burns brights.

Wu Shen (he/him)

character profile

character official art/portrait

Known as: Green snake; Peddler

"Yeah, I don't give a shit as long as I'm payed. If that prince can pay, that's all. Hmm? Don't I feel guilty for ditching others? Hahaha! You sure are funny."

Snarky and charming with skills of disguise, Wu Shen uses his looks and slippery tricks to get what he wants. Being the main spy of the rebel forces, he knows all the right places and people, and every dirty secret never escapes his ears. With a great lust for money and luxuries, he will willingly betray others if the price is right, but when he truly opens his heart, not even the world is enough for him to sacrifice those that he loves.

Fu Xiuying (she/her)

character profile

Character official portrait/art

Known as: Pinnacle lady; woman with the golden tongue

"Do I really look that sly? Hehe, you haven't see the worst. Or...do you want to see it? I may be intelligent and elegant, but don't let it fool you, little fox."

Bold like a cat with a spiked tongue, Fu Xiuying is a woman of little words but many schemes. Born into a famed clan of scholars and poets, her skills in politics are unrivalled more so after serving as the handmaiden of the current empress. She keeps her friends close, and her enemies at her fingertips. As the main intelligence gatherer of the rebellion, she is fiercely loyal to her nation and wishes to see a better world. Outside, she appears to be as lovely as a flower, but under her elegant nature, a beast lies dormant.

Mo Ge (he/him)

character profile

character art/official portrait

character

Known as: Scholar of a thousand years; Favored of Highest

"It's been too long, old friend. You've grown, just as I did, and we're no longer kids. I hope to form a diplomatic relationship, no matter what our past was."

Upright and soft-hearted, Mo Ge is the tutor of the imperial prince of the current family. Well-spoken and skilled in all areas of philosophy, science, and arts, he is one of the most skilled man in the history of Tianchao, and the youngest to be an imperial tutor and imperial secretary. People around him comment about the dried mandarin peels he carries in a small box. He is diplomatic and kind, and he is willing to sacrifice himself for the one he loves most.

Luo Ying (she/her)

[only romanceacble with an mmc]

character profile

Character official portrait/art

Known as: Scorpion Courtesan; Lady Misfortune

"So you are the Xiaowei. I don't know what I expected, but aren't you a bit too stupid to be one? I heard that that Xiaowei Mao was smart, but if so, how come you don't know me?"

Uncouth, violent, and rude. Hostile towards anyone, and unforgiving to enemies, she relishes to see them in pain. Despite all this, she is a vulnerable spirit. Easily flustered, a classic tsundere, and a bit heartless with words, she easily falls for candid people and lets her guard down when faced with such pure, unfiltered person.

(Demo: 19th October 2022)