#this is a terrible joke

[spineless-lobster]

Odysseus: “Where’s the wind bag?”

Eurylochus: “Hm? Oh it’s beside him.” *points to perimedes*

Odysseus: “POSIEDON?! WHERE??!!?

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Lucifer leaving hickeys on your body, call that the mark of the beast

[feralwetcat]

"PERIKLIS?"

*Peri puts on a little hat*

"PERI THE PLATAPUS?:O"

[beansowo7]

Just watched the FNAF movie trailer-

SANS?!?!

[wincestwhispers]

“ew you like an incest ship i bet you wanna fuck your sibling” actually my sibling wants to fuck me so. whatchu gonna do now

[jacyevans]

Mobile users booping the boop out of each other vs. the overwhelmed Tumblr app:

[bludraws094]

pokémon? why would i poke a mon?

[miraclemaya]

my favourite way to run dnd 5e is to first find a group of cool people who love 5e soooo much, and then instead of using the dm's guide, i use a revolver and a bullet for each of the players and an extra one for myself.

[stormywinter42]

International Mikey WDay

[souldotdog]

A scene girl and an Actor meet:

Actor: so whateth style do thou fit in toeth? Sc3n3 G1rl: 0h! 1'm int0 Scene! :3, itz a- wut the fuk r u d0ing? Actor: *acting*

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

This is basically Adamsapple right?

[zombified-queer]

Ohhh I get it now. The House and the Hotel are compatible because the offspring of cattle and whales are both called calves.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I don't care how similar they sound, there is a big difference between a decent cat and a desiccant

[sheriiam]

We all remember this surely?

Well, this got me and my friend our very own inside joke that I wanna share with y'all.

Friend: do you know bald eagles?

Me, who actually didn't know them but had a hunch: yeah, ig.

Friend: yk how they look absolutely amazing when seen from side but then you look at their front profile and they're just *starts laughing*

Me realizing she meant this meme: oh yeah *starts laughing too*

*conversation continues for a while*

Me: like no dude just imagine; bald eagles are like Chad. Chad has a very good side profile. But then you look at him from the front and suddenly Chad is a potato.

Friend: *loses shit*

Now we were not in a good place to laugh, yk. We were a god damn debate audience that argued whether war is a necessity for peace or not. And we were, absolute bunch of idiots, laughing over the image of Chad looking like a potato.

[silverview]

psa

[savetheamazingcakes]

Because not only women have periods now, can I call period-havers "frequent blood letters"?

I'll leave now.