#this is a song to inject estrogen to

[juliacorvia]

It's still cooking but, as inevitable as it was for all my characters and ships my brain latches onto, I have been making a playlist for Adrien, worlds #2 catgirl, not gender neutral, Agreste. and of course the first song on it is 'Dumbest Girl Alive' from 100 gecs

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #9: OBJECT OF AFFECTION

(also on spotify!)

O, wayward soul, I beg of thee an ear; Companionship, a Constant of desire, is all too fleeting. Would thee quell this fire? My love, do you know what you want to hear?

Welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was some gay shit (Liaison) and today is some more gay shit (Object of Affection)

---

I'm usually pretty good about letting go of the things I make and letting them live imperfectly, but there is exactly one released song of mine that I've ever been actively unhappy with the final product of, that I haven't been able to let go of my displeasure with.

Honor Majesty, off of Autumn Every Day.

It's not that it's a bad song, or that it didn't have good ideas! In fact, I genuinely think it shares more with the music I make now than a lot of my older work does. Rather, it was incredibly rushed and full of uninspired choices I made for the sake of completing the song rather than making it the best version of itself, and it ultimately ended up falling incredibly flat relative to what I wanted it to be!

I really like the intersection of synthpop/electropop and fantasy. One of my favorite musicians ever is Baths, whose album Romaplasm is chock full of this exact thematic and sonic intersection, and it's so deeply inspiring to me that it still gets put on whenever I want to dream things up. I've always wanted to make things like that! Bubbly and fantastical, brimming with a sense of magic so pervasive it makes even the mundane seem mystic.

...Also I'm just a fantasy dork okay. I like wizards and shit. Sue me

I've been wanting to make a grandiose and fantastical story song for years, and my single attempt to do so felt like it missed the mark entirely. I did touch on fantasy a couple times on Bittersweet, but ultimately, when I started working on this album, I knew exactly what I wanted to take a second crack at.

---

The intended story in question here is fairly vague, but to sum it up as literally as possible:

A rebellious, disobedient, gender-questioning prince has mildly inconvenienced "his" royal lineage one too many times. Their solution is to invoke magicks widely regarded as heretical - what's a fantasy monarchy without some hypocrisy - to seal their "son's" soul within an automaton body, rendering "him" a perfect, subservient doll.

This doll is promptly spirited away under cover of darkness by a mage, and is granted free will once again. She experiences the crushing weight of newfound self-awareness and nearly spirals out of control, before realizing the mage who saved her is the same - a doll. It turns out being a magical-mechanical construct has its perks if you are TRANSGENDER. then they overthrow the monarchy and fuck nasty or whatever idk this is where the story gives way to things like "metaphor"

this is a song about artifice and being transgender

Seriously, though, I know that being an electronic-music-producing transgender lesbian with a thing about dolls or robots or whatever is a major endless-store-shelves-of-identical-buzz-lightyear-action-figures moment on my part, but dammit, I own a copy of Logic Pro and a genuine leather wizard hat, I inject estrogen into my stomach fat every Wednesday, and I think ball joints are cute. I'm posting this on Tumblr, for gods sake, I am unconcerned as an active choice

---

With the exception of Liaison, the entirety of Constant Companions utilizes only three unique vocal synth characters - ANRI, Gumi, and Teto. This trifecta was born organically from simply being the vocal synths I enjoy using the most, and in this song, I wanted to use all three of them almost like one single singer, freely shifting intonation based on the context. I messed with this idea before on Ballroom, my voice meshing and melting into Gumi V3's voice, but it felt especially appropriate for this context; Plus, I feel like there aren't a lot of examples of vocal synths being used/recontextualized in this way, and that's a shame in my opinion!!

I really want to do more story-driven songwriting like this in the future as well. Now that I'm a bonafide VocaloP I've been floating the idea of doing a song series with this trio... I'm mostly just worried I'll want to get too ambitious with it.

Off the top of my head, Object of Affection references at least eight other songs of mine - Honor Majesty is an obvious one, but it also directly samples parts of Autumn Every Day, and lyrically references genuinely just a bunch of things. I'm probably forgetting some, even!

I know I'm the Leitmotif Lover, but it's a lot even by my standards. However, this song's entire existence already served to satisfy a fairly self-indulgent desire, and these days, I don't deal in half measures. I think the final product serves as a lovely little look back at where I've come from, though, and perhaps even a little glimpse into the future!

That all being said, Object of Affection in some sense is also a love letter to a beloved part of my creative process - the voice memo. A lot of the audio I've provided with these posts have been recordings off my phone for good reason! Not only are the chops at the beginning of the song entirely comprised of edited recordings I got on my phone, but the sample at the very end happens to be from a particularly legendary recording, never before heard by the public...

Until now. I present to you an excerpt from "the worst beat on planet earth", featuring none other than unit.0.

That's about it for today!! If you have any questions, I'll gladly answer them below, but otherwise, I'll be back here tomorrow to talk about this album's title track laid askew - My Darling, My Companion!

[sammygender]

1st ever spn post i made: “dean winchester save me. save me dean winchester.”

2nd ever spn post i made: “you guys just don’t get dean winchester the way i do. no one could understand him like me.” <- still true though not in a way i realised then

3rd ever spn post i made: “i already feel like my brain chemistry has been changed by dean winchester and i’ve just started the second season. i haven’t even met castiel yet.” <- person who Does Not Know dstiel is bad yet

4th ever spn post i made: spn fans where are you. come to me. this is a safe space you can come out of hiding. <- person who had 0 spn mutuals

9th spn post i made: it’s just dean winchester parental issues that have me captivated btw. like he’s not even bisexual yet. i was a samgirl before i realised the specific nature of deans emotional problems <- has not realised The Divide between samgirls and deangirls yet

18th spn post i made: i know i’m like deangirl of all time he makes me go insane but truthfully i’m returning to my samgirl roots this season……he has everything. who’s dean? some older brother bisexual with a dog motif and daddy issues? 🙄 he could never <- had just started s4. historical posts made moments before disaster (samgirlism descent and dean disillusionment).

23rd spn post i made: i’m a samgirl

26th spn post i made: sam winchester did nothing wrong

29th spn post i made: spn s4 au where instead of sam drinking ruby’s blood he’s injecting her estrogen. ideologically awful but it’d slay. deans transphobic

35th spn post i made: ‘sam has made unforgivable mistakes’ shut up ‘sams redemption arc in s5’ shut up ‘sam’s way of making up for his one evil mistake in s4’ SHUT UP ‘sam’s ending in swan song perfectly redeems his character’ SHUT THE FUCK UP i hope you people die

[charlott2n]

i got 0 on that quiz i know about gorillaz and listened to some of their songs but never a full album am i going to get executed

its ok just come down to my basement and let me inject you with this super music juice that totally isnt just estrogen 😁

[bunnywithgender]

you should listen to ska in the middle of the night

its good for the health

here is a song that talks shit on famous abusers

here is a song mostly about addiction that includes the line "please inject me with iced coffee and estrogen"

or you could listen to BAD OPERATION by BAD OPERATION on the album BAD OPERATION

no matter the reason you should play some ska

[discodeerdiary]

I used to listen to this song every time I injected my estrogen