#this is a shitty summary
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okokokok so i just had an idea
so i’m gonna use rosekiller as an example for this
so regulus is deaf and barty is his sign language interpreter. and regulus is set on getting barty a partner because he’s tired of hearing barty complain about being single.
they’re in a coffee shop (or some other place) and evan is the barista. and from barty’s blush and fumbling, he finds evan hot. so regulus starts signing/flirting with evan but guess what. it’s barty who has to translate everything.
this does provide some miscommunication but regulus successfully writes evan a message about what he’s doing.
on the other hand, barty thoroughly enjoys flirting with james on regulus’ behalf :D
#this is a shitty summary#but you get the gist of it#hopefully#marauders era#dead gay wizards#regulus black#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#james potter#rosekiller#deaf regulus#deaf#sign language#plot#au#coffee shop au#ao3#fanfic#starchaser#sunseeker#jegulus#deaf au#dorlene#pandalily#marylily#emmary#wolfstar
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ellie, who’s in pretty bad shape when she runs into you in seattle. ellie, who obviously doesn’t want anymore blood on her hands, but she can’t risk anything, not now.
you, maybe frustratingly naive and annoyingly endearing, not looking at ellie’s pointed weapon but instead at her arm, asking if she needs help with the blood that ellie didn’t even seem to notice.
admittedly, maybe it is stupid. but if you’re going to be met with a threat, you’d rather it be a girl that appears to be your age instead of the other horrors that you’ve experienced in the world.
you don’t mean to stick together. it’s supposed to be a brief pact, forced to trust each other within a matter of minutes when you’re both met with a threat much worse than the other person. it wasn’t supposed to last, but hours roll into days, and you can’t seem to shake each other.
maybe worst of all, maybe neither of you really want that, anyway.
ellie, who wasn’t supposed to care about anyone new. ellie, who was supposed to be focused solely on finding abby. ellie, who pretends to hate how well you can seemingly read her, making her feel like a sliver of the person that she used to be, before, not treating like her a wounded time bomb compared to everyone else these days. ellie, who wouldn’t have met you if it weren’t for joel’s death. ellie, who can’t forgive herself for the way in which she’s starting to feel about you.
#i had to get this out of my head#i’ve had the idea for this fic literally for months but i can’t be bothered to start another one#so here’s the shitty summary instead#ellie williams x reader#been thinking ab this since like… june tbh
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These tags are taking me out
Screaming crying resisting the urge to write a 10 question reading-comprehension quiz every time I post a story
#you know the kind#like the 10 questions are Not Hard#but if you forgot to do the reading or only read a shitty sparknotes summary then you’re sweating#desperately skimming the story during the first 3 minutes of class bc you know at least one question is gonna ask for an example#938sps
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the summary of anita's relationship and their future wives. (known as i can't decide one ship, so i did chargestep, mortumstep, and happy au mortumchargestep SDGJKHSDJHGSG)
based on this meme below!
#fhr#fallen hero#fallen hero rebirth#fallen hero retribution#chargestep#mortumstep#mortumchargestep#myarts#mycomics#fh: julia ortega#fh: dr mortum#sidestep: anita lee#julita | when will we ever be each others#mortunita | soft hands be patient for me#myaus | happy ending 202X#myaus | mortumchargestep aka nerd fuckers#also yeah in the happy end julia joins their silly evil club so why not?#this is such a good summary of their relationship LMAO#rebirth bc anita is sooo wary of julia since she found them#retri bc this is post revealed anita and mortum relationship so hence mortum is just Hurt and anita Feel shitty for it#AND happy end is just them being disappointed at their wifes attempt at coming up with a new villain idea LMAO
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so i guess if you want to escape reality and turn back the clock to the 1950s where dean and cas are lighthouse keepers in impossibly tight quarters in the middle of a harbor in maine under cold and harsh conditions while they dance around the fact that they Feel Feelings for each other with a side helping of mystery and religious trauma and dean as a ww2 vet who's seen too much and era-appropriate queer studies then idk check it out if you want
#destiel#destiel fic#wtidspn#another shitty summary comin at you like i do for all my fics. all my little children
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God the new ultimate guide sucks
It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.
But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.
SUMMARY THOUGHTS
Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.
They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.
I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.
Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.
Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.
Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.
Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."
It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?
Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.
SHORT STORY THOUGHTS
And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.
Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe
First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"
It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?
Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool
The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.
Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.
I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.
Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.
It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.
I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?
shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?
Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch
A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.
Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.
Story 4: Clear Sky
Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.
Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.
Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."
to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"
Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."
who wrote this? Gray Wing??
#The amount of passive voice Clear Sky has to be surrounded with in order to look like a redeemable character is dizzying#I feel like I'm reading a headline about cops who blew up an orphanage every time I read anything official about him#oh wait im sorry. A ''high-pressure accident which occurred at a government institution with 3 officers present'' lmaooooo#ultimate field guide#bone babble#im actually REALLY glad actually they havent been making these#This was garbage#There were a few good things in this but overall? Absolute slop. I wouldn't even feed this to a pig.#I think this is actually down there with Cats of the Clans (with Rock) for worst field guide#This is abysmal#You would be better with the wiki summaries and the 4 stories are mid at best#What a shame that they re-pivoted so hard from Riverstar's SE which I was JUST praising for tossing out that shitty ''redemption arc''#Nope. We're right back to square one.#How much do you guys wanna bet it's ONE writer who's OBSESSED with Clear Sky and every time he writes anything he does this#I'm not sure who wrote this one but let's see if my hunch is right lmao
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Astronomy In Reverse; It Was Me Who Was Discovered.
"Lone astronomer Noah catches the attention of two minor deities."
More alenoaheather for the people ! This one inspired by my favorite musician, Sleeping at Last
#total drama#alenoaheather#fanfiction#sorry for the shitty summary I'm bad at them#also I was originally going to focus on another oneshot before getting back into Lovers and Fools but hopsan hejsan
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tokyo ghoul re is so interesting because arguably the most interesting version of the main character (reaperneki) is immediately followed up with arguably the worst version of that same character (kingneki) which is then followed up by arguably an even worse version (dragoneki)
#i'm just saying the same tragedy doesn't work twice idk#dragoneki is arguably the worst because he basically tries to be thorfinn karlsefni with like none of the substance or nuance#if thorfinn is a book dragoneki is the shitty 6th grade summary and it's painfully obvious#read vinland saga btw it da best <3#tg meta? not really but hey#tg#tokyo ghoul#ken kaneki
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you guys really weren't kidding about how fucking good lake mungo is
#i think it just came out above ex machina on my list of favorite movies what the fuckkkkkkkk#technically i need to rewatch ex machina before deciding for sure but either way SUCHHHH A GOOD MOVIE AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#wait just remembered- i actually read the plot summary on wikipedia a loooooong time ago (but i hardly remembered any of it)#and having reread it just now after finishing the movie oh my GOD it does such a shitty job of conveying just how great this movie is.#what a dull clinical description what the fuck! please if you've ever read it and decided not to watch based on that#PLEASE give it an actual chance it is SO much better than wikipedia makes it seem.#it just doesn't (and CAN'T!) accurately portray just how truly haunting the movie is. a masterclass in how to tell a great ghost story#without relying too much on jumpscares or obviously horrific imagery (imo). just....wow.#and now for some screaming [🚨🚨🚨 brief spoilers incoming 🚨🚨🚨]:#SHE WAS THEREEEEEEE SHE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME IN EACH OF THE 'FAKE' PHOTOS/RECORDINGS OH MY GOD#AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED *SO* HARD TO BE VIGILANT I NEVER SAW HER!!!! AND NEITHER DID THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GOD I DON'T THINK ANY OTHER PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR MOVIE HAS EVER MADE ME FEEL THIS INSANE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok i'm done. anyway cool movie haha#lake mungo#📺 tag#send tweet
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#after reading the complete summary of maya’s book#not only do i think he went to latam as a pr move#but i don’t want louis and him to interact at all#fuck man what a shitty move#i really hope maya is healing#and as for liam i really fucking hope he takes accountability for the shit he did and works on bettering himself#personally i’m not supporting liam anytime soon and i don’t know if i’ll ever will#it may be harsh but i cannot. i just cannot#logan.txt
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An Eternity with You - Dracula x Reader (DBD)
Summary: There's only pessimism if you were taken into a realm of lifelong suffering.
Warnings: Psychological distress/trauma, blood, gore, horror
Available on AO3
The hacking, slashings, stabbings, and murder never stopped. Every time your body was pierced with those hooks or killed by the killer's hand; you prayed to whatever deity existed to put you out of your misery for good. But alas, you always wake up back at the campfire. You were unwillingly taken by the Entity; taken into a realm of endless pain and suffering and stuck in sick games of nothing but pure torment. You dreaded going back to that campfire. It never led to anything new. You never came to terms that this was your new life, and you were never going to see your home again.
You could hardly close your eyes to rest without visions of murder entering your mind or the paranoiac-piercing screams messing with your eardrums. Streaks of your hair were becoming white from the great amounts of trauma, and bags under your eyes took effect from the lack of sleep.
The other survivors you've met had been here longer than you, but they never grew used to it, either. You never truly wanted to die so badly till now.
But then something happened during the times you served your trials.
Your chest grew heavy when there were no sounds of generators being repaired, or a teammate calling out in need of assistance. The air was silent and heavy as you explored the trial. The clicking of your footsteps only gave sound to the dead air. Fog entangled your legs with a step towards a sign of any life within the trial. In the midst of the fog, a silhouette laying on the ground could be faintly seen from a distance. As you approach further, you realize it was one of your teammates with their neck torn open. A small pool of blood lays underneath your dead teammate and soaked into their clothing. Upon further examining the body, the hole in their neck looked as if an animal had done it. Their eyes remained open; a hint of expression of fear remained on their face. It was almost as if they were begging you for help.
Quickly and quietly your teammates were being killed without you realizing. Was it just them or all the others?
"I apologize for leaving a mess for you to see. It wasn't very chivalrous of me." A deep voice startles you from behind causing you to whip your head around to see a rather tall man.
The Dark Lord, or Dracula that some of your fellow survivors refer to him as. Word of mouth went around the campfire that he was a vampire. He held no mercy for anyone who had a beating heart. Except for you. The first impression wasn't the best. You found him towering over you as you cowered beneath after watching him toss your teammate's dead body to the side after draining every drop of blood from them.
For the longest time, he's felt his dead heartstrings being pulled. He wasn't sure what caused him to feel this way. Maybe if he was not feasting on your dead teammate, he would have looked less frightening.
He's grown obsessed with you since the day he spared you.
He takes his time walking up to you, wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand in the process. "I was afraid I wasn't going to see you again." His hand reaches for your face with a clawed thumb to wipe a streak of blood splattered on your cheek from healing a teammate earlier.
"Is there ever a time you haven't?"
He chuckles at your response. "No, but I must say, it's become a hobby of mine as of late."
Every time you entered his realm, Dracula always saved you for last. Killing off your teammates as fast as possible then finding you. He couldn't have any of your teammates spoiling anything between the two of you. After killing off your teammates, he would take his precious time stalking you from a distance in his wolf form. His dead heart always skipped a beat whenever he found you wandering alone with no one to get in his way.
"I can tell."
His fingers feather down to your arm until stopping when he notices discoloration on your skin. He pulls your wrist towards him examining a red swollen area with scrapes. The color was slowly bruising into a purplish red. His thumb gently glazes over the scratches allowing his cold touch to calm down the swelling for a bit finally.
"It's nothing. I fell." You reassure.
"My dear, you should be more careful. I'd hate for something so delicate to get into harm's reach."
"If I had a flashlight that lasted longer than ten seconds, I would have been able to see."
"Rather than relying on something so worthless, you should find something that'll do you good."
"Is that your way of saying I want to spend more time with you?"
"Of course. I enjoy indulging in conversations with you." He leans into your face, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Not only that, but I also enjoy feeling your warm skin under my hands and hearing the rhythmic pulse underneath your skin." His warm metallic breath hits your face. "It's so rapturous. Wouldn't you agree my dear?"
"I suppose it's better than death." You wince.
It took some time to warm up to him.
The Entity eventually notices the strange behavior of Dracula. He was unable to fulfill his duty because of you. No matter how much the Entity craved and demanded the survivor's flesh and blood he couldn't do it. He could never conjure enough courage to sacrifice you. It decided to remove you from the trials that involved him for it to be satisfied with its sacrifices. He grew angry upon hearing the news, but the Entity didn't care. If it wanted sacrifices, it was going to make sure it got what it wanted.
Now he finds himself in his castle away from the other killers—sitting alone in his throne room staring off into the distance, sulking in his thoughts. He had no regret being taken into the Entity's realm at first; it felt like paradise, but now he's beginning to have second thoughts. He grew madly in love with you that's why. He wanted to take you away from a place that's done you no good. He wanted to spend an eternity with you. If only he could.
Quiet clicking sounds from a distance pull him from his thoughts. He turned his head to where the sound was coming from and there you were just a few feet from where he sat.
If only he saw how his face beamed at the sight of seeing you again. He rushes to you. "I'd never thought I would ever see you again." His clawed fingers stretched outward feeling your hair as his thumbs stroked your cheeks; feeling the warmth that once sought comfort to him "I pray your suffering has not been too utmost for how long I've been away from you."
"Nothing has changed. I hate it so much."
"I'm sorry how things have-"
"I missed you. So. Much." Your voice cracks upon interrupting. He stares down at you as you try to keep your composure. You look away from him to hide your frustrated tears. "I wish I didn't have to go back."
"Please don't grieve." He lifts your face. "No matter what happens, I will always be here waiting for you. And one day there will be no more suffering. I promise you."
Despite you suffering eternal damnation in the Entity's realm; to Dracula, in a certain way he has gotten the happy ending.
An eternity with you.
#sorry for the shitty summary :( not very good at them#sorry again if its ooc#i really love writing castlevania dracula fanfics :3#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd x reader#dbd oneshots#castlevania#castlevania x reader#castlevania oneshots#dracula#dracula x reader#dracula vlad tepes#dracula vlad tepes x reader#my creation
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Shitty blog summary: Musings about life, maths, and everything in between
:3
must ponder upon the spectrum characterized by maths and life on opposite ends
#thanks!#I think the only mathsposting I've done in any recent times is occasionally reblogging a meme#glad to know the vibes remain :p#asks#ask game#shitty blog summary#bioerin
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🌹3 Roses🌹
summary:
Roses inked into the skin can be a symbol of love lost and won. Of passion and desire. Lewis and Daniel have matching rose tattoos.
The story of Dewis from the 2017 season - situationship -> heartbreak -> getting back together
I've been obsessed with this story for a while now, I hope you enjoy.
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at some point if you focus entirely on mlm ships and all your least favorite characters are women, i think maybe, just maybe, here’s a thought
#i am entirely ignored due to my Feminine Appearance#i mean like there are just some people who just tag anti female character#and it makes no sense at all and is usually on the basis of ruining an mlm ship#summary: hating a female character does not inherently mean misogyny#but i think there’s a certain point where it’s a pattern and you need to look inward yk#also if your least favorite character is a woman in most shows you’re doing something wrong#shitty male characters are everywhere ??? and you think she’s the problem??????#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk#just gonna tag some fandoms here#danganronpa#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#harry potter#mauraders era#technically this applies to most popular fandoms so yeah#tvd#the vampire diaries#tvdu#tvd universe#i am probably putting myself into the trenches for this. oh well#rant post
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My sister finally posted one of her fics on ao3. You will read it, and you WILL give her kudos or I will hunt you down. thank youuuu 😚🫶
#ignore her shitty summary its her first time lmao#rescue bots#transformers#fanfic#fic#ao3#archive of our own#chch#rb chase#rb cheif burns#tfrb#rb
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okay my iberian medieval romances class assigned us a summary of part of tirant lo blanc and also this movie version that looks TERRIBLE from the poster alone… to be honest I would have rather spent this time reading some of the original but Whatever…
#600 pages of el Amadís assigned but an 8 page summary of tirant lo Blanc and this shitty movie😭 okay! Whatever!#she speaks.l
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