#this is a shitpost if you genuinely ship it then ok this is not meant to cause offence

[magiclovingdragon]

Malcolm/Lyra as a reddit relationships/AITA post

I (33m) am attracted to a friend (22f). I have known her since she was a baby and I was 11. I’ve always felt connected to her since I first looked at her. I babysat her, played with her and even changed her nappies. I kept her safe from both the authorities and a man who wanted to harm her (with help) and reunited her with her father. I taught her at the school she attended when she was 15 and I was 26 and I first noticed my attraction to her then, when she was my student. I realise it was wrong and awkward at the time. As time has passed she has come to me with various studious matters. I have never told her of my feelings because I dont want to bother her with them yet I can not help but be attracted to her. Apparently to some my romantic feelings towards her are quite obvious and I believe she may also have some feelings for me but people* have said its wrong, called me creepy and have even gone so far as to suggest I have been pedophilic towards her. What should I do? AITA?

*by people I mean the fandom

[hellacioushag]

mindpalace0 said: @hellacioushag the reason why many elriels are against the mating bond for lucien and elain is because elain does not want it. It was something she did not choose for herself but instead it got forced upon her. Feysands and nessian knew each other before the mating bond reveal. That's not the case for elucien. On the worst taumatic day of elains life some random male claims her. Then she finds out she is shackled and is forced to have a bond with someone she doesn't know

mindpalace0 said: @hellacioushag yh it would be different if elain CHOSE to get to know lucien etc but of right now it's Canon that she gets really uncomfortable around him loses her boldness. Lucien is also shacked to her. He wouldn't have chosen her he says himself she was thrown at him. I can't say for all elriels but the ones I do k ow just want aleain to be able to choose to stray from what is expected of her. Right now everyone expects her to simply accept the bond and become a mate mindpalace0 said:  @hellacioushag I'm deeply sorry if u have ever received comments from idiotic elriels calling u antifeminist. Ignore them and know its not true. At the end of the day sjm can go anywhere with these books. Many elriels simply don't want to ship two people who are genuinely so uncomfortable and awkward around each other. That however can change as the books progress 

mindpalace0 said: Also it's CANON they r uncomfortable and awkward with eath other. Will that change later on in the book? maybe. But right now almost every scene of theirs is cringe to read. You can't be serious when u say that they r not uncomfortable around each other cause they r. Elain owes him NOTHING. Why should she. Why should she stop herself from being happy because of a bond she does not want. Feysand and nessian differ cause in the end they still got to know each other

mindpalace0 said: Before the bond revealed itself. Elain did not have that.

ok i think i got everything that was either directed at me or was just sent in the general post unspecified. i’m not gonna sit and talk about elriel cause i really don’t care about that ship or anyone’s reasons for shipping it. you do you. have fun. i will however address some of the critique you mentioned regarding my thoughts on elucien and the bond. 

1. we do not know how elain feels. we don’t have her pov so anything the other characters are inferring about her regarding her body language is only speculation, not fact. if cassian or nesta notes how elain’s boldness disappears in lucien’s presence we do not know why that is. we can only project our own assumptions as to the motive. you are assuming it’s because she’s uncomfortable around lucien and doesn’t want him. i could assume that she may have been overwhelmed by lucien’s presence because when he’s gone she isn’t faced with the bond, but in his presence she not only feels it there, but may also glean his feelings for her through the bond. neither one of us can claim our assumption is fact because we weren’t in elain’s pov in that scene. other characters interpretations are not always reliable. feyre assumed mor was hiding her love for azriel until mor flat out told her she had no romantic interest in him. until we have elain’s pov we cannot claim our assumption of the scenes are textual evidence. 

2. lucien didn’t say he was shackled to elain. the quote is this:

“I would agree with you on that,” I admitted. “But remember that they were engaged. Give her time to accept it.” “To accept a life shackled to me?” My nostrils flared. “That’s not what I meant.”

he is not oblivious to elain as some would like to claim. he and feyre were discussing graysen and how elain was still mourning the end of their relationship during acofas. feyre was trying to tell lucien to give elain time to accept it was truly over between her and graysen and lucien, having just been brushed off by elain, pushed his own insecurities onto feyre. i assume he thinks because elain won’t speak with him, won’t even try to get to know him, that she think he’s beneath her. that a life with him is surmountable to being shackled. again, this is his own fear and insecurities about her and the bond. we actually don’t know how elain feels about lucien. only the bond. only that she hates the idea of being bonded to anyone. 

3. eluciens, as far as i am aware, do not want elain to be forced into the bond. we want her to be able to get to know lucien the way feyre and nesta got to know rhys and cassian. we want them to have a chance. the only reason there’s a different dynamic with elucien vs feysand/nessian is because elain is aware of the bond and the idea of it has added fear and pressure to her. however, lucien has been kind and patient and understanding. when feyre asked him to move to velaris in acofas to get to know elain he declined. not because he doesn’t want to know her, not because he doesn’t want to be mates, but because he is allowing her to set the pace. he’s being respectful, but also wants her to know he’s thinking about her and he’s there whenever she may want to talk. he is putting himself in the uncomfortable situation of going to feyre’s holiday events and putting himself out there with gifts for his mate because he wants to get to know her. if elain asked him to stay away he would based on his history of respecting her need for space. so any pressure elain is feeling is not based on lucien’s actions, but the idea of the bond itself.

4. if you don’t like elucien that’s fine. my post wasn’t about trying to convince you otherwise. it was in relation to seeing a lot of anti-elucien posts implying shippers are anti-feminist and don’t respect elain and her choices. it was to uplift the elucien community cause i know seeing those same tired arguments gets annoying for me. i think it’s perfectly fine to talk about a ship, to dissect why you don’t like them, but i don’t think it’s acceptable to tear down the shippers who support the ship. to imply horrible things about the shippers and then claim it was just a personal opinion. nah. you want to make jokes, and memes, and shitposts about the fandom and shippers i think that’s fair game. you want to write a meta implying anyone supporting a certain ship are supporting child abuse or they’re misogynistic or they're racist is disgusting and it needs to stop (not you specifically, but the fandom as a whole).

[supertransural]

supernatural made me realize a bunch of shit about myself, specifically identity and it’s part of the reasons why i think it’s an inherently queer story.

allow me to clarify. once upon a time, 6 years ago, i found supernatural. back then i was mostly in the closet, even to myself. i’d gotten to that point of “hah wouldn’t it be nice to be like guys on tv and kiss the pretty girls” but not much further than that, because in most of the movies i had watched with my parents, the personality of the guy wasn’t really explored in the way supernatural (mostly unintentionally ngl) does with its characters.

so picture a teen, finding my first tv show to watch alone, being able to think my very own comments about it and not fear any repercussions from those thoughts because hey, i’m alone in my room i can think what i like about what i’m seeing. and feeling.

and here enters dean. complicated, comes from a rough childhood, parental expectations weighing so heavy on him it’s bleeding through his smiles, has a brother he feels is his duty to protect, is stuck in a loop of denial repression depression sublimation denial repression depression sublimation den-

you get the gist. i related to that guy. and then here he goes getting bi-coded (didn’t know what that was at the time but looking back, i could sure as hell feel it) and then kissing girls on screen, despite his wavering self-confidence. little ol’ gay me was like “yoooo i relate to this character on most of his character points, do i also relate to like..... wanting to do what he does??? do i wanna kiss other girls????”. fast forward one season and i’ve already figured out i was maybe bi. literally thanks to season 1 dean.

so, having figured out this “minor” aspect of myself, i went on youtube to find some other people like me and try to see if i was right to be homophobic towards myself or not. figured out, hey uh, definitely not. so you can also add “it ended up making me try to put a stop to my internalized homophobia” on the list of things that shitpost of a show helped me with.

i went back to the show for another season, relating even more to dean, and “blah blah blah queer coded character blah blah blah gay me could feel it before i knew what it was blah blah blah happy gay stuff”. several seasons passed by before anything new came up on my “hm this show rly out here bringing out all the queer aspects of myself huh” journey, but anyways i was still slowly but surely thinking holy shit i wanna be this goddamn man i want to be dean.

then comes season 4, walzing into my questioning little heart. oof ok, this season hit ALL the right spots for me. because i could feel what was going on between cas and dean and even though everything was still blurry as fuck, the parallel between sam/ruby and dean/cas was clear as day. and i was like “oh so you’re saying there’s a love here and it’s like that tarnished love between sam and ruby and it’s forbidden so that’s why we’re not seeing it and it’s like... gay”. so it made me realize “holy shit, i wanna see more gay content, and it’s ok to want that.”

then cas became another extremely relatable character, because i just kept thinking “he doesn’t really have a gender the same way other humans do” and i shit you not, he started me questioning my own gender. because again, a relatable character that you somewhat identify with that makes you ask questions about their identity INEVITABLY makes you ask questions about yourself. queue me going on youtube yet again to understand this shit a little better. i went through a few months of thinking “maybe i’m nb”, joined a few more gay communities on the internet, started learning about lgbtq+ things, watched a few more gay shows, and basically just grew a little more into my queerness.

fasforward several seasons, a couple gap years where i stopped watching it, and you’ll get to me a year ago. i thought i was a gay woman, fairly happy in that mental space and identity. but then. the whole “i wanna be dean” thing came up a lot again. because he just kept on being more and more visibly queer coded as i kept on learning more about this shit.

lo and behold, i jumped straight into the idea i was trans. and wouldya look at dat, i was right. quarantine happened, so i had to get even more of my interactions through online platforms, and quite obviously hovered around the gayer ones, or at least the lgbtq+ sides of them. and as i kept watching the show on and off, binging the first seasons for the 4th time, i kept learning more and more about myself. and those acts of gay frenzy were always started by seeing something relatable or strange in that show and looking it up. like, legitimately every time.

i found this community on tumblr a few weeks ago because i was tired of having my own little hypotheticals in my head and not knowing if anyone agreed, and the more i’ve been here the more i’ve learned about myself. the more i’ve let go of a lot of internalized hatred. the more i’ve been really ok with myself, as a trans guy. BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET.

because, as we all know, it is common understanding here that dean is bi. WELL, i’ve been re-binging the show with that mindset finally clear in my head, and the “haha dean relatable lol” thing came up again, except it was really a “haha dean (who is bi) super relatable lol” thing now. so i paused, yet again, to think about that a little more. AND FIGURED OUT I WASNT STRAIGHT, IM BI AS FUCK.

that happened 1 month ago. i thought i’d grown fully into my queer self, that i’d gone through enough realizations and coming outs (to friends only, god forbid i come out to my parents (unfortunately quite literally god forbid lmao) before i’m out of here) for a lifetime. but apparently not. AND IT WAS STILL BECAUSE OF SUPERNATURAL. destiel and trans!dean fics helped with my internalized transphobia and homophobia, they helped with acceptance of those parts of myself. something that helped was also seeing the fact that shipping two guys in a tv show wasn’t just “being greedy with my grubby little gay hands” and wanting to think of a character as trans wasn’t just “being delusional and ridiculous”. and reading fics wasn’t cringy, it was nice and comforting.

so to try and sum up this unhinged gay rant, what i meant by my initial statement is this.

looking back on this entire self-discovery journey that i went on, it really felt like i was in the impala with the boys, except i was on a different kind of route (just picture this giant road painted in rainbow colors with baby driving at 80mph on it, that’s what it felt like). i grew with those characters, but most importantly i grew THANKS to those characters. their story was queer enough to make me, a fairly homophobic, traditional, conservative kid into a lib trans bi dude. and not in a “i got converted by the fandoms” way. i found the fandom waaaaayyyyyyyy later. i stumbled upon the fandoms looking for answers about this gayass goddamn show that i could FEEL was like me but couldn’t verbalize yet.

their story felt like a queer self discovery story and i could already see that before i went on it myself. no other shows have ever done that for me, and i’ve watched shows that had lgbtq+ characters in them, scripted gay scenes, not just subtext but text. and they still didn’t do that for me.

so this is why this show is so meaningful to be, and incidentally so very gay. like genuinely.

[em-exceeds-change-zearu]

These are the obvious choices but! Logi or Roy for the ask uwu

uwu

Logi

how i feel about this character: the plot needs to stop bullying this poor child pronto but i also want it to bully him more. he deserves none of this suffering but god if it doesn’t make him all the stronger for it

all the people i ship romantically with this character: edgar. full stop.

my non-romantic OTP for this character: sabareta! he was such a good foil/mentor to logi in chapter one, such a good mirror to show how even a good idealistic boy can be twisted into what he was. the fact that logi was able to revive his old idealism but he was still able to be the practical, battle-hardened rebel in the end was great.

also this makes me cry every time the first time i noticed timeskip!logi’s bandanna was similar to sabareta’s and then his J+ story came out and flat out confirmed it’s there to help him keep the same resolve and i just…cries. cries forever.

my unpopular opinion about this character: logi wasn’t an idiot in chapter 1! he was just really naive! naive  =/= idiocy ok. and he had his requisite character development in chapter 1 after facing his own powerlessness and while you think that would result in the typical Shonen Protag Triumphs it does not. instead it ruins everything because he isn’t able to recognize dias’ slipping into the darkness until too late and then he has to retreat into hiding after being unjustly branded a traitor and has to genuinely confront his own weakness and inability to make hard decisions to achieve the peace he sorely wants, etc. he wasn’t stupid but his naivety cost him greatly in the end and that was something he had to face. and he does and comes out all the stronger for it.

however the general opinion that he becomes a more well-rounded and nuanced character in chapter 2 onwards is one that i accept wholeheartedly i’m so proud of him

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i want more of Logi & Edgar’s Fantastic Adventures. please. they bounce off each other so great. but also i want to know more about the one and a half year timeskip and what he did. because while he was severely depressed in his J+ event by the end of it he seems to be able to look forward to the future somewhat optimistically and hasn’t lost all of his naviete. But when he shows up again in Chapter 2 he’s somehow managed to revive the Blue Flame Guard as a voluntary corps and has also become quite the negative nancy.

this hurt my heart so badly the first time i read it my poor baby i’m so glad he’s regained the will to fight for those naive ideals again. seriously child what happened to you how did you accomplish all this and got so sad as a result I WANT TO KNOW WE’VE GOT AT LEAST THREE MORE CHAPTERS OF STORY TO GO THROUGH WILL I EVER FIND OUT??? I DON’T KNOW  !!!! !1 WHY AM I SO INVESTED IN THIS GATCHA GAME WHEN THE STORY CHAPTERS ARE RELEASED AT THE SPEED OF MOLASSESS I’M SO MAD

my OTP: you can guess at this point. look. looooook. they just mesh so well with each other and i love their interactions and they’re really cute and edgar’s one of the few people that timeskip!logi laughs around and they have a combination attack and it’s super cute 

look at the casual teamwork and how well edgar’s spontenaity and mind for improvisation balances with logi’s steadiness and power and and and cries

my cross-over ship: funnily enough despite all the crossovers tagatame has had so far, edgar and dias have had crossover storylines before logi does. i wanna see a crossover storyyyyy whiiineeesss. does he get the radiant historia one. i hope so. i wanna see him interact with stocke and co. pleeeaaase . .  . . 

a headcanon fact: i want to believe so many things about logi having leviathan in his possession but i don’t know how many of them have been/will be jossed by canon. really what the big point is what did leviathan dooooo. did it revive him after he was straight up killed by dias. did it save his life instead. will it exact a price from him later. has it bound itself to him. i don’t know i don’t knowwwww. hhHHH I HAVE. SO MANY IDEAS AND NONE OF THEM WILL BE TRUE BUT UNTIL THEN THEY REMAIN HEADCANON FACTS TO ME

Roy

how i feel about this character: GOOD SON BOY! THAT’S OUR BOY RIGHT THERE!!!! OUR BOY ! ! !!! !!

all the people i ship romantically with this character: okay look. there’s lilina of course, but also i ship him a little with sophia because shared dragon ancestry. my Heroes ship for him is with Julia though because in my Heroes roster they’ve been together since almost day one and they’ve grown stronger together and you all know about the shitpost joke i’ve made with them so

my non-romantic OTP for this character: guinivere. i’ve already made a longass post about this but look. Look. meeting her on a chance routing to pick up some mercenaries is what led to their parties meeting and both of them wanting to stop this war was what led to him taking her on as part of his party despite her clearly being part of the enemy faction - not only that, but the literal Actual princess of the enemy country and just. watching them both grow into people who can lead an army and a country over the course of the war is just real fucking good and you know they share a real strong intergenerational friendship because of it all okay? okay.

my unpopular opinion about this character: i actually don’t have a problem with roy’s Shitty Stats? i’ve always seen fire emblem as a kind of chess-like map game: he’s the king piece you have to get to the end. he’s not necessarily meant to go around killing things and getting stronk, that’s what you have the other characters around him for. his even stat growths contribute to that and they also make sense plotwise too: he’s a Baby, only fifteen. even compared to other young Lords he’s absurdly young and still in the middle of his studies. so the trend growing to Strong Lords in more recent games, while it’s not something i’m super pressed about, it’s not something i care for much either? weak chesspiece lords are also valid

i do have a problem with his absurdly late in-game promotion though urgh. either give him another promotion halfway through the game OR MAKE IT EARLIER, OR SOMETHING??? GOD. plotwise it makes sense BUT GAMEPLAYWISE IT’S STUPID

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] CONFIRM. THE DRAGON. HERITAGE. I DON’T CARE IF BEING A QUARTER-DRAGON IS TOO LITTLE TO HAVE ANY VISIBLE EFFECT ON HIM I JUST REALLY LIKE THE FACT THAT BLAZING BLAZE GIVES THE OPPORTUNITY TO RETCON ROY’S ACHIEVEMENTS IN BINDING BLADE INTO AN INCREDIBLE SHOW OF IRONY, OKAY

my OTP: lilina. first girl is best girl. 

my crossover ship:  does the ship with julia count? yes? no? it’s technically crossing games over. 

a headcanon fact: this child spends millions of years in any library he can get his hands on and you will pry that truth from my cold dead hands