#this is a running joke between me and cal

[neuvifuri]

whenever signora and dottore used to argue, signora would finish it by saying “at least i graduated” and dottore would fly into a rage and wreck his lab and kill his lab assistants every time

[bloodmoonmuses]

translation: i love you. | mark lee

genre: mark lee x reader, college au (not that important for the context tbh), friends to lovers, fluff, drabble (900 words)

summary: your friends referred to you as the mark lee interpreter. you weren't sure why, but you understood him- even the words he didn't say.

warnings: none!

To many, you were known as the Mark Lee Interpreter. Such was usually said in jest, but you couldn’t help the pride that swelled in your chest when the moniker was bestowed upon you. Sure, the guy rambles a bit, but if you listen- really listen- he has quite a beautiful outlook on the world. 

You and Mark usually conversed in motion. You’ve divulged your deepest secrets to him while on aimless walks. You’ve cracked your wisest jokes to one another while biking. You’ve had entire conversations through your eyes while dancing in grimy bars.

Now was no different, though a more chill variation. It’s Spring, so the two of you are taking a stroll in between classes. The sun knocks the chill off an otherwise too-chilly day, its rays falling on your face like a smattering of kisses. Spring isn’t in its picturesque stage quite yet. The stasis of winter still lingers, trees barren and skies grayish amidst the light that peeks through the cloud coverage. It’s calming.

There’s a creek that runs through the center of campus, a little bridge arching over the widest part. This is where you stood now, watching the water trickle over stones. 

“I think about rocks a lot,” Mark says out of nowhere. (Translation: Nature is so beautiful- even the most mundane and minute aspects of it. Even the parts that people forget. I think about forgotten things a lot, like rocks.) You believe it. Mark thinks a lot about a lot of things.

“They’re, like, soooo varied. Y’know?”

You do know. Large rocks. Mountainous rocks. Boulders. Stones. Pebbles. There are many types of rocks. “The ones in the creek look super smooth. It’s… hypnotizing.” Mark speaks as though he’s constantly in amazement, or on the brink of an epiphany. He’s the embodiment of potential, of the hypothetical, of what could be. You think a lot about what you and Mark could be. 

Of the many possibilities, you conclude that as long as some form of togetherness is involved, you’d be anything for him.

“I think about water a lot,” you respond. 

“What’s your favorite kind of water?” (Translation: Indulge me. How intently do you think about the minutiae of the world? Are you as crazy about water as I am about rocks?)

“Hm,” you say. “Good question. No one’s ever asked me that.” You assume he’s asking you to identify a particular body of water as your favorite. A memory comes to mind. 

It was the summer after freshman year. You and Mark went to the beach everyday together.  You think of the chilly water that rolled over your toes in the waking moments of dawn. You think of how beautiful the sunrise looked reflected on the ocean. You think of Mark waking up with you, despite not being a morning person. That wasn’t your favorite type of water, no. You specifically liked the sea water that danced on the ends of Mark’s hair. The drops that traveled down the follicle, forming shimmering beads, and dripped onto the sand below. You made a game of watching and counting them that summer. (The highest you got was 47.) 

You’re not sure how to consolidate this memory into a sentence that doesn’t sound absolutely insane. You decide to omit the thought entirely. A conversation for a different day, you suppose. 

“The ocean. Cliche, I know,” you say. Mark nods to himself, then hums.

The creek beneath you harmonizes with Mark’s humming. He begins walking again, taking your hand in his. This wasn’t too out of the ordinary for your friendship, but it makes your heart do this twisty thing you can’t quite place. It was the one action of his you couldn’t interpret. Mark doesn’t make a big deal about it, nor does he discuss the matter afterwards. It was almost like he was entitled to your hand, clasping his calloused fingers around yours without a second thought.

You’ve never actually looked at your intertwined hands before. The first time he grabbed it (during one of those days on the beach), Mark acted so nonchalant. You figured the gesture didn’t mean much to him. You were scared that, if provided with a visual, you’d never stop thinking about his stupid hands. 

This time, you allow yourself a peek. The cuff of Mark’s jacket hangs over his fingers, and he squeezes your hand when he realizes you’re looking. (Translation: You’re finally acknowledging this. Are you here? Can you feel me?) 

Your hand is getting sweaty. You pull away to wipe it on your jeans.

Mark can’t believe you’re nervous right now. You’re never nervous around him. The two of you have become accustomed to the wordless ease of your relationship.

Mark’s eyeing you again. You pretend you can’t see him in your peripheral vision. It doesn’t work. “Nervous?”

“Not even a little bit,” you say defiantly. You snatch his hand back into yours as if to prove your point. However, this only does the opposite as you begin to literally tremble.

“You’re so funny,” says Mark, running his thumb over the back of your hand. He slowly lifts your hand to his mouth, but he doesn’t kiss it. He simply presses your knuckles to his lips, maintaining eye contact while he does so. Your breath hitches.

“Mark-” is all you manage to say. You can’t meet his eyes, so you look at your conjoined hands as they swing between the two of you. Elation radiates off Mark’s skin. He’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Your hand is so warm,” Mark says. (Translation: I love you.) 

a/n: feedback is always appreciated! thanks for reading!

[speaknow-sw]

𝓘𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽 𝓐𝒇𝒇𝓪𝓲𝓻

HEADCANONS FORM! Summary : in which you move in your new house in front of a very hot, very dad and very married man. But Anakin Skywalker is a gentle and caring neighbor. Gardenias appear in your garden and you befriended his wife. Soon enough you fit in this neighborhood though a little crush linger…

Ｃｏｎｔｅｎｔ: mdni, dad! Anakin Skywalker, older married man, reader is 25 and Anakin’s 33, mentions of vaginal fingering, pining, cheating ?

AN : GUYS FIRST WORK !!! Okay actually very stressed to post this but I’m sure you’ll be indulgent. Please ? It’s just a part 1 tho idk when I’ll post part 2. Again I’m not fluent in English but please feel free to correct any error. The real stuff happens in part 2 cuz it’s just a plot installation. Hope y’all like my silly little idea.

You and Anakin met when you moved across the street. As a gentleman, he welcomed you and helped with all your boxes. One look and you both knew you were spiraling down an unforgivable path. 

« Excuse me Miss. Do you need help ? » Anakin asked gently. 

« Oh yes, thank you so much » you replied, blushing.

« Just moved in ? It’s a nice neighborhood. The name’s Anakin Skywalker. I live just across the street. » he pointed the white house with blue shutters in front of yours. 

« Well, yes I’m moving in. I hope we’ll become good neighbors. » you smiled  brightly. 

« Don’t doubt it. You seem a lot nicer than old Palps who lived here before you, » he laughed placing a boxes on your counter. « He died of cardiac arrest in his daughter’s house. But around here we say he died strangled in his bitterness. » he joked.

« Seems like a lovely man. » you chuckled.

When he finished helping you he invited you over at his house where you met his lovely…wife, Padmé. As you talked with them a pair of toddlers ran down the stairs. Anakin presented them as Luke and Leia his kids. Adorable, you thought. 

After that first day you crossed Anakin path a numerous time. Every morning you would leave for work around the same time giving each other a light « Hello » and a meaningful gaz, like electricity sparkling between you.

After some months like this, you strangely begun to see gardenias appearing in the back of your garden. 

Sundays barbecue were a common gathering for your neighborhood. Mr. Kenobi, the barbecue king for the five previous years hosting every one of them. Him and his wife Satine were the sweetest people you’ve ever met. Like a good neighbor you attented every barbecues and gained a little group of friends consisting of Padmé, Satine and Breha Organa, the mayor wife’s. 

You couldn’t help but stare at Anakin back as he was talking with the other dads. His broad shoulders draped in an olive t-shirt and his nice butt constricted in a cream pant. Ovulation cravings were getting out of hands. God…this man sense of fashion could kill you on the spot with how effortlessly handsome he was. A married man, older than you, with kids…but so sweet and manly… Only when you turned to help Breha you missed Anakin gazing at you from afar. 

Soon enough, Satine ran out of sodas for the kids. The Skywalker twins, Elledi and Fiari Organa, Cal Kenobi and many more kids were running in the gardens like crazy little gremlins. Tired of hearing their little voices complaining about having a glass of Fanta you took the matter in your hands and said you could go to the store. Suddenly a voice echoed.

« I got packs of Fanta in the closet at home. » proposed softly Anakin. 

« Wonderful, my dear why won’t you accompany Anakin in his house to retrieve the sodas instead of taking the car ? » said a cheerful Satine. 

« Oh…hm…yes, yes I can do that… » you stuttered a bit shy. 

« You’re coming ? » Anakin called, his keys tingling gently in his right hand.

Your gaze fixated on his veiny hands and his long fingers. Your mind went wild with how good his fingers would be buried inside your clenching pussy. Maybe they could even reach that little area deep into you where you see stars. Your arousal grew and soon you felt your cunt being wetter than ten minutes ago. Fantasizing about him as you walked behind him silently, you didn’t saw he stopped in front of you and crashed against his back. 

« Hey, hey, hey, I gotcha. » you heard before feeling strong arms wrapping against your stumbling form. You blinked at him shocked by the whole situation directly from a bad Christmas rom-com. 

« You okay, kid ? » asked Anakin his beautiful face ruined by a frown. 

« Uh…yeah, m’great thanks to you… » you muttered as you felt heat crawling on your cheeks. 

« Alright, here, the sodas are in this closet. » he pointed an open door under his stairs. You nodded looking right in his eyes as your breath hitched. Your gaze lowered at your joined chest as your breasts were pressed against his muscular pecs with how tight he was holding you. You felt his breath on your forehead and raised your head to look at him not without checking his lips. His hold on you tightened slightly and you flushed. 

You darted your eyes around the house unable to held the eye contact and as you wandered through the furniture of the closet your eyes widened.

On the shelf beside a toolbox was placed a white gardenia similar at the ones which appeared on your gardens…

To be continued….

[semperamans]

clo i need to know your thoughts on cal, johnny and benny all falling for the same, sweet local girl! <3 love ya xoxo

suse how could you do this to me :( currently trying not to scream cry and throw up in the coffee shop :( this somehow turned into jealous!danny? dunno how! kinda long, so ya gotta read more xo

benny says your name like it's this sacred thing and danny knows he's in for a treat. the sun grows weary as she dips beneath the tree line, but danny is unyielding; bony forearms braced on the tops of his thighs, microphone edging just a bit closer to his pondering interviewee. benny blows a stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth, watching as it mingles with the cotton candy clouds and it's hard, danny thinks, to be around benny because everything he does is so damn picturesque. he's filled more than three rolls of film with just benny and yeah, he's gotta be mindful because film isn't cheap and he's broke but there's something about the way benny looks; leather cut laying just so over his shirtless form, white levis baggy from age, speckled with either dirt or blood, he doesn't know, and he's just so cool that it's impossible to resist. danny snaps a quick picture, scolds himself as the ticker tells him he's got four shots left, then turns his chin to watch as benny plucks the near-extinguished cigarette from between his teeth, flicking it into the grass. "what'dya wanna know about her?" "well," danny shifts in the creaky lawnchair, "y'know, i've talked to the guys and they, uh, they say she's the best thing that's happened to the club. girls are sayin' it too, n'not just cus she made you nasty bastards start washing your hands." benny is chuckling, pillowy lips damp from the swipe of his tongue. "so what is it about her?" danny asks then waits and waits and waits as benny sits, per usual, in silence. and, okay, maybe this isn't going as well as danny hoped and now he's scrambling, throwing haphazard sentences around his brain, but then benny is speaking and holy shit he's speaking. danny has never heard him say more than fifteen words but now he's a leaky faucet "she's good - everythin' about her - doesn't have a mean bone in her body, y'know? gave all've us a chance, gave me a chance." benny shakes his head as though he still can't believe it then stops, turning his head at the faint sound of the screendoor closing and there you are in a pair of cutoff overalls, hair pulled back with a crocheted bandana and danny can see it, the whole angelic thing. you pay neither of them any mind, tending instead to the flowers 'round the porch. your little yellow watering can is cute and danny can see the fondness constricting the base of benny's throat. "think m'biased." benny says, turning back to face danny. "but 've said it once and i'll say it till they throw me in the ground: she's heaven sent. an' i hope imma good enough man to see her again when i get where i'm goin'." danny leaves with a rekindled belief in love and hopes that maybe one day he’ll be lucky enough to be loved the way benny is.

it's been three weeks since benny's interview and danny can't help but notice things. he carries this leather notebook around - jotting down names and places and tape numbers - but the page he keeps coming back to is one he scribbled across a few days ago. the thing about benny's girl is that she isn't just benny's girl. he's circled it three times for good measure because benny's girl doesn't just belong to benny - sure, maybe in the ways it matters - but every single soul adores her; lights up when she walks in and it sure is a sight to see fifty or so bikers grinning and stumbling over their own feet for this girl who looks like she couldn't harm a fuckin' fly. if she had a male equivalent danny reckons it would be cal. cal with a personality as warm as fire, who talks to everyone, and cracks jokes, and is unabashedly himself. but cal has a temper and it shows during a run to akron. danny is interviewing zipco when he hears the commotion then suddenly everyone is stampeding toward two swinging figures and he knows this is where he steps back. it's a full-on brawl now and zipco sure as shit wasn't going to stay and yap while there was chaos amuck, so danny plops down, lights a cigarette and waits. "s'guy called her a bitch," cal says and danny almost jumps out of his fuckin' skin. where did the sun go? he scrambles to a sitting position, wiping drool from the corner of his mouth and smacking the record button on his cassette recorder. "what?" "some fuckin' prick called her a bitch." cal's got a handful of ice cubes pressed to his busted jaw and because the man knows no personal space a bloody mix has dripped onto danny's pant leg. "her?" danny's not following but the beat up boy tips his head and danny should've known. it's you. of course it's you. "not gonna let nobody talk to her like that. i don't take too kindly for no one talkin' ill to a lady, but 'specially her. s'the most fucked up shit you can do." that's when danny realizes that cal has it too. it's the same look benny had when you came out of the house - that dumb, lovesick gaze - but cal's is laced with longing and danny actually feels bad for him. "she sure is something." he says, testing the waters. he's out of cigarettes so his nimble fingers pluck a handful of grass from beside his boot. "sure is." cal takes a seat, reaching behind danny to grab the jug of strong-smelling alcohol. "never met anyone like 'er. been everywhere; hell to fuckin' Houston, never met a girl like her before." he takes a deep swig, grimaces, then swallows. "benny sure is lucky, ain't he?" danny says, peering under his lashes at the golden-haired boy and he laughs. "we're all lucky. she's the sweetest of the sunflowers, man. she's like the fuckin' sun. least she is to me - to us." poor bastard, danny thinks. poor infatuated bastard.

"where ya gonna be sittin', baby?" "with johnny." "good girl, c'mere gimmie a kiss." danny's at the bar nursing a beer and a hangover and probably a concussion and you know what? this kinda talk doesn't phase him anymore. he's used to it by now; sure he doesn't know the rules, but it's none of his business anyway and in his four months with the club he's learned, above all else, that bikers are fuckin' weird. still danny finds you, watches as benny grabs your chin bringing you up up up onto your tiptoes before planting delicate kisses onto your giggling mouth. "you go see 'em." it's a whisper and danny's not trying to eavesdrop but he finds himself leaning closer. "looks like he needs some cheerin' up." and maybe danny is still invested because he turns, following you as you float over to johnny's table where he's hunched over an intimidating stack of papers. you say something, but your sweet voice is too quiet over the racket and danny cares so he stands, goes over to the pinball machine, but doesn't turn it on. "hi, pretty." johnny reaches over, takes your hand, tugs you closer and you giggle, bracing your hands on his broad shoulders and this is different. none of the other guys put their hands on you - just benny, just benny because he's yours and you're his but johnny does it so naturally danny knows he's done it before. "what's goin' on, old man?" your voice drips nothing but affection and johnny smiles around his cigarette and launches into club dues and the upcoming springfield run and the dwindling bail fund and danny starts losing interest; his feet are going numb and there's only so much longer he can stand there pretending to fucking play pinball before someone catches on but then you're on johnny's lap and yeah this never happens. danny has seen benny beat the dog shit out of a guy for even suggesting that you sit next to him but now here you are, balanced on one of johnny's broad thighs, spinning his wedding band around and around his finger and benny sees, fucking smiles at the sight, and drops his head, lining up his next shot at the pool table. danny realizes you're talking and running your hand up and down johnny's arm as you validate his feelings and strategize fundraising plans and promise to bake some of your infamous strawberry shortcake bites. johnny's promised hand lays so delicately upon your cheek danny thinks he may kiss you but thank fuck he doesn't because danny'd surely blow his cover and a load in his pants because, okay, yeah, he gets it. knows now why everyone loves you, has started to catch feelings of his own but he's not johnny or benny and he'll never be able to touch you the way he wants so he guesses he'll join the ranks with cal as just another distant admirer. just another love struck bastard.

[bloodstainedveil]

CAL GABRIEL. HEADCANONS || ZERO DAY

cal gabriel as a boyfriend // a lil angst? // tw sh mention // gn!reader // headcanons

cal gabriel, who knows how to make himself likable. he’d be sweet, funny, maybe even a bit awkward and shy at times, but only to the extent that it benefits him. he’s not emotionally invested in the same way most people are—he’s more interested in the idea of having someone who adores him… and that “someone” happens to be you.

cal gabriel, who would share enough personal details to seem open, but he’d avoid anything too deep. if you tried to dig into his thoughts or true feelings, he’d quickly brush them off with a self-deprecating joke or change the subject.

cal gabriel, who, no matter how much he likes you, andre will always come first. he’d cancel dates or disappear without much of an explanation if andre needs him. he won’t apologise either—it’s just how it is.

cal gabriel, who would swing between affectionate and distant. one day, he’d be laying his head in your lap, even allowing you to ruffle his hair; the next, he’d barely respond to your texts or act distracted.

cal gabriel, who wouldn’t view your relationship as something permanent. he’s too focused on zero day and doesn’t plan to be around long enough to see where the relationship could possibly go.

cal gabriel, whose younger siblings simply adore you. maddie and eric see you as an honorary family member and get super hyped every time you come over.

cal gabriel, who uses play-wrestling as an excuse to get close to you, pinning you down and laughing at your attempts to fight back.

cal gabriel, who tries to show off by playing sitar for you, fingers moving effortlessly over the strings as he plays a riff that’s surprisingly good.

cal gabriel, who teaches you a few basic chords, leaning in close to adjust your fingers on the strings.

cal gabriel, who rolls his eyes when you straighten his coat collar or tuck his hair behind his ear, pretending to be annoyed while secretly enjoying the attention.

cal gabriel, who mutters “quit babying me,” when you nag him about missing meals, but still eats whatever you give him without complaint.

cal gabriel, who has something small of yours that he keeps stuffed on his pocket—a bracelet, a hair tie, or even a note you scribbled for him in class. all of these ended up in the fire.

cal gabriel, who likes to carve your initials on random surfaces around school—lockers, desks, and even the bathroom wall. but his favourite canvas was his own skin—hidden from everyone but him.

cal gabriel, who has perpetually cold hands and always slides them under your sweater or onto your neck just to hear you yelp, laughing while you smack him away.

cal gabriel, who loves it when you grab his freezing hands and hold them between yours, rubbing warmth back into his icy-ass fingers while he mumbles, “they’re not that cold” (even though they are).

cal gabriel, who sometimes doesn’t let go of your hands even after they’ve warmed up, his fingers staying intertwined with yours.

cal gabriel, who freezes for a moment when you ask him about graduation and college, his usual smirk faltering before he quickly deflects: “college? i dunno, maybe i’ll take a year off.”

cal gabriel, who avoids your gaze when you press him about the future, running a hand through his hair and mumbling, “i don’t think that far ahead,”

cal gabriel, who is sweeter than usual in the days leading up to zero day. he’s always been sweet to you, but now there’s a weird sense of urgency to it—like he’s trying to cram a lifetime of memories into just a few days. he takes you out to see a random movie “bridget jones’s diary,” you don’t even remember half of it because you guys spent most of the time making out in the back row.

cal gabriel, who presses his forehead to yours after breaking the kiss, his breathing uneven when you ask him if he’s okay, whispering a soft “yeah” before pulling you back in, like he doesn’t want to talk about it.

cal gabriel, who filmed a tape just for you, apologising to you and explaining everything he couldn’t in person. it ended with a quiet, “i love you.” but the tape doesn’t not end up in the deposit box, and as cal and andre burned their belongings, he throws it into the fire, thinking it wasn’t fair to put you through that pain.

that’s all i can come up with for now :p

[multi-fan-dom-madness]

Laundry Day (Cal Kestis x reader)

Summary: Cal can’t always control when his psychometric powers grant him a glimpse of the past. And even less so when the object holds a powerful emotional echo.

Or: Cal picks up the shirt you masturbated in.

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI; afab!reader but no pronouns used; no use of y/n; porn with some plot; hints of voyeurism if you squint; sub!Cal if you squint; first kiss; first time; hand job; masturbation; if I missed anything please let me know!

A/N: This is shameless and self-indulgent and hastily written before the motivation left. I will not apologize.

Word Count: 2,205

Read it here on AO3!

NSFW below the cut!

You clench your jaw, the damp fabric of your shirt caught between your teeth as you struggle to keep quiet. But gods your fingers feel so good circling your clit and you’re absolutely soaked right now and you have to be quiet because Cal is sleeping in the room across the hall.

The thought of Cal overhearing your late-night activities makes your pussy clench around nothing. Eyes falling shut, you gather some more wetness and press more firmly on that bundle of nerves that has you on fire. Images of Cal’s toned forearms, freckled face, powerful thighs flash through your mind. You stifle a groan.

This is so bad, and you know it. You shouldn’t be getting off to the thought of your friend—never mind the fact that he’s a Jedi. But even when he’s only hidden behind a few thin durasteel walls, he occupies your mind. The way his eyes dance with fiery determination when a new opportunity to strike against the Empire arises. The way his plush lips curve up into sarcastic smiles at your jokes. His tenderness with BD. His softness with you.

And that’s what gets you all riled up in the first place: it’s just how genuinely good Cal Kestis is. There’s not a mean bone in his body. He takes care of you, and you of him, and the domesticity of it all drives you absolutely insane.

Which leads you here. You finally plunge two of your fingers into your tight, wet heat, imagining—wishing—it was Cal’s fingers instead. Exhaling a shaky breath, you crook your fingers up against the spongy wall of your cunt and press. Your hips rock involuntarily, and the added friction against your clit has your toes curling. You breathe deep through your nose, loosening your muscles as the wave of pleasure zinging through you crests.

And you cum, teeth unlatching from your shirt as you gasp out Cal’s name.

Once the aftershocks die down, you shuck the shirt off over your head, the neckline entirely damp with your now-cooling saliva. The temperature is uncomfy; you snatch a clean shirt from beneath your bunk to wear instead. Tossing the soiled shirt toward your growing laundry pile, you settle down under the covers at last, curling on your side as sleep finally, finally takes you.

The next morning when you wake, the comforting hum of the hyperdrive engine is silent. You must’ve arrived at your next destination while you slept. Good. Even though it’s only been you and Cal for about a year now, you still try to keep some extra supplies on board in case any of the old crew decide to rejoin you and Cal. And after your last run-in with the Empire, forcing you into hiding for a standard month, all of your supplies are low. You’ll use this opportunity to restock.

But first, you need to wash up. The lights on both Cal’s door and the ’fresher are green, meaning he’s probably up in the cockpit with BD. Slipping into the ’fresher, you lock the door behind you and turn the knob to heat the water up. Your sleep clothes crumple to the floor as you shuffle out of them, trying to focus on creating a mental list of the supplies you’ll need to pick up today. Yet, your traitorous mind keeps drifting back to your solo fun last night—heat throbbing between your legs at just the thought of how hard you came—and you shake your head angrily at yourself.

“Get a grip,” you grumble.

As if summoned by your thoughts, there’s a knock at the door. You jump. Your heart hammers in your throat.

“Kriff, Cal, you scared me,” you call through the door.

“Sorry,” he calls back, and you hear the genuine regret in his voice. “I just wanted to check to see if you had any laundry? It’ll be a bit before we’re able to get it done after today.”

“Good thinking,” you say. “There’s a pile on my floor. I can get it, though; don’t worry about my stuff.”

He doesn’t respond, and you visualize the sardonic, two-fingered salute he’s recently gotten in the habit of giving. A smile quirks your lips.

A smile that is quickly obliterated as a jolt of pure anxiety bursts through you. Gods, knowing Cal, he’s already gone to grab your dirty laundry, and the shirt—the fucking shirt—is right on top, and you know he can’t always control his psycho-Force-whateveritscalled powers.

The ’fresher door slams open and you dash across the narrow hall to your room.

To your horror, Cal is in fact there, gathering your clothes from the floor, and the warning to wait gets choked in your throat as he grabs the shirt on the top of the pile, the one that’s surely still damp with your spit and sweat.

His entire body stiffens, eyes widening, his grip on the other clothes going limp as he experiences the Force echo you’ve left behind. Feeling like you’ve been doused in gasoline and ice at the same time, it finally registers for you that you’re naked in front of Cal fucking Kestis and he’s feeling you cum to the thought of him.

“Cal, I—”

“Oh.” The strangled moan that tears from his throat has your mind reeling, never in a million years imagining that you’d ever hear him make such a lewd noise, let alone in reaction to you.

You reach for him, placing a shaking hand on his arm. “Are- Are you okay?”

He blinks and seems to physically re-enter this current moment. His cheeks are bright pink, his chest heaving. At his wide-eyed once over of your naked form, your knees nearly give out.

“I’m so sorry,” you continue. Panic seizes at your lungs, making it hard to breathe. “I shouldn’t have- I should have- I’m so so sorry, Cal, I can leave if you want—”

“Hey.” He rests both of his large, warm hands on your bare shoulders, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Deep breaths. I’m not- I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?” You try to catch your breath, but the darkening of his green eyes has your breath catching for an entirely different reason now.

He shakes his head. “How long?”

Chewing at the inside of your cheek nervously, you drop your gaze. “Months. Since we first met.”

Gently, he guides your chin up so that you meet his gaze again. His eyes are soft—darker than usual, yes—but there’s that familiar softness to them that unwinds some of the tension in your chest. He holds your gaze long enough for your heart to stop pounding, but you can’t will away the swirling pit of regret pulling at your insides. He’s not mad, which is great, but he’s still not said anything and you can’t figure out what he might say or what he’s feeling or—

“Can I kiss you?”

You blink dumbly. “What?”

A faint smile ghosts over his features. “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh gods yes,” you squeak out.

A true smile tugs at his lips, and then slowly, giving you ample time to change your mind and pull away, he leans down, one hand supporting the back of your head, the other cupping your cheek. Your eyes close and you stand on your toes, meeting him halfway.

His lips are as soft as you imagined, and you can’t help the needy whine that escapes you as he pulls you flush against him. Your bare, heated skin presses against the leather of his chest piece, tantalizing against the sensitive skin of your breasts. Snaking one hand up into his silken hair, your other grips at his muscled bicep, grounding yourself. His mouth moves slowly against your own.

This is really fucking happening.

He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against your own. You peer up through your eyelashes at him.

“I take it you feel the same?” you ask, breathless.

“Since we met,” he affirms in a low tone. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip, and you catch the digit between your teeth and suck. He groans. “Gods, if I’d known...”

You just hum, swirling your tongue around his thumb until he withdraws, only to kiss you again. Electricity feels like it dances along your skin where he touches you. Blindly, you tug him backwards with you until your legs hit the bunk. Lowering yourself, he follows, bracing himself over you with his forearms to either side of your head, caging you in. With a soft moan, you hook a leg over his hips and drag him down to you. The friction of his clothes against your aching core makes you hiss.

“Fuck, take these off, please,” you plead, tugging with weak fingers at his shirt.

He sits up just long enough to rip the offending garments off, and you practically drool at the sight of his toned chest as it is revealed to you. Scars litter the otherwise smooth alabaster, and you know you’ll take your time at a later date tracing them, committing them to memory. Right now, though, your attention is drawn farther down as he shimmies out of his pants. His hard cock, the tip a gorgeous shade of pink, bobs as it comes free of its confines.

“Oh gods,” you groan. “May I?”

“Please.”

You’ve never heard his voice so strained before, and you are nothing if not eager to continue drawing sounds from him. Wrapping your fingers tentatively around the hot shaft of his dick, you hum in delight at the way he twitches in your grip. You slowly work his cock, eyes trained on his face, catching every flutter of his eyelashes, every time he bites his lip, every miniscule reaction you can possibly gain from him.

“I want you inside me,” you say.

He groans. “I- I’ve never—”

“It’s alright,” you soothe. You release him for a moment to gather some of the slick from between your folds—and can’t resist rubbing your pussy for just a few seconds, letting a broken moan fall from your lips. Then you use the slick to lube his dick up.

“C’mere,” you say, your legs widening for him to slot in between. “I’ve got you. Say the word and it all stops.”

“I want this,” he says, eyes trained on yours as he settles himself between your thighs. “I want you.”

You hum in delight and, guiding him, line his cock up with your neglected entrance. Wrapping your legs around him, you press down with your heels to push him into you.

His head falls to your shoulder with a broken, gasping moan. You clench at the burning stretch of him filling you, nails digging into his smooth skin. He’s not even touched you, barely begun to fuck you, and you’re already ready to cum.

“Cal,” you murmur, caressing his back, “you okay?”

“S’alot,” he mumbles against your skin. “Can I—?”

“Yes, please.” You press a kiss to his shoulder. “Make love to me, Cal.”

With a whine, he slowly withdraws, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously on your walls, and then pushes back into you just as slowly. You moan with him at the sensation of filling and being filled, unsure where you begin and he ends, lost in the feeling of just him. He sets a languid pace, kissing your neck, murmuring sweet words in your ear: “You feel so good. Take me so well. Fuck, I needed this. Needed you.”

When he adjusts his grip on you, reaching beneath your body to support your hips, you laugh breathlessly.

“Gonna cum like this.”

He bites down on the sensitive juncture between your neck and shoulder as he snaps his hips against yours, making you cry out. The agonizingly slow pull out, the moment’s pause where only his tip remains in your dripping pussy, and then the overwhelming burst of pleasure as he slams back into you: it’s all you know. It’s all you’ve ever known, all you ever will know. You babble praises, begging, pleading with him, the coil in your belly growing tighter and hotter the harder he fucks into you.

“Can feel you’re close,” he slurs. “Cum for me. Please.”

That’s what does it, hearing him beg for you to cum on him. You go rigid, white flashing in your eyes as the tight coil snaps. Pleasure floods through you, and dimly you’re aware of Cal growling against your ear as he rocks you through it, his promises of cumming in you only serving to draw out the shockwaves of your orgasm. You think you scream. And then, when you feel his dick pulse as he goes absolutely still, you cum again.

He’s laughing when you come down from your high. He remains in you even as he begins to go soft, his giddy, breathless giggles pure music to your ears.

“What’s so funny?” you ask, twirling a strand of his hair between your fingers.

“I just— this is not how I expected today to go,” he says, still laughing.

You smile. “Maybe you should do the laundry more often, hm?”

He just kisses you, and you’re content with that answer.

[dollfaceksj]

CAL part 2 when???

here u go bby…

remember: CAL will get updates every friday, saturday and sunday. might not always be that consistent but ill try my best!

can’t afford love | myg (m) #2

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“would you be willing to give him a sibling?”

yoongi nearly chokes on his own saliva

he wipes his mouth with the used napkin before looking back at you. “what?”

you lean back in your chair and throw your leg over the other, crossing your arms over your chest

“i’m asking if you’d be willing t–”

“i heard you.”

you tilt your head to the side, watching as he continues to stare at you

trying to make sure whether you’re joking or not

“let me get this straight right now,” he says as he leans forwards. “are you actually asking me to knock you up?”

well… if he says it like that you might forget abt the baby and just want him up in ur guts

WHAT ARE U SAYING?

be serious.

“well, you said whatever jun wants, jun gets.” you glance at jun. “and he wants someone that he can play with that’ll love him unconditionally and that he can love unconditionally.”

yoongi’s brows knit together, eyes studying you closely whilst you stare at jun. you continue, “he tries his best to fit in so he’s really attached to his friends at daycare. you know what happened during his birth.”

at this, yoongi winces. he remembers the complications of your pregnancy with jun very clearly.

“and you know it was originally our plan to have two kids. we were always of the opinion that we wanted 2 kids that could have each other and be there for each other.” you let out a breath cause it just seemed like you were holding it the entire time (you were). “and it’d just be easier to have kids by the same man, married or not.”

you finally make eye contact with him

and he’s still staring

straight at you

like you’re crazy.

“you realize what you’re asking of me, right?”

you roll your eyes. “obviously i know what i’m asking. you can be as involved as you want, i’m doing this for jun.”

“don’t say it like that,” he snaps. “saying you’re doing this for jun as if i wouldn’t run around the perimeter of the earth until the skin on my feet fell off for him.”

you squint your eyes at him and just as you’re about to respond, he continues;

“and i can’t just be super involved with jun and not with the new baby. that’s fucked up,” he says as he shakes his head

he’s right, you suppose

he’s very right

“let me–” he sighs as he rubs his face. “let me just think about it.”

you nod your head slowly. ��of course,” you say. “just let me know beforehand. if you agree, great. if not, i can ask someone else.” you rise to your feet and start gathering the dirty dishes

“what?” he asks, a twitch in his brows

you glance up at him as you stand up. “what?”

he frowns. “who are you going to ask?”

you shrug your shoulders. “jimin or seokjin or something.” you start heading into the kitchen. “or maybe find someone on reddit or whatever.”

both jimin and seokjin are your college friends, mutual friends of you and yoongi

he quickly gets up and follows you, taking the dirty plates out of your hands. “you’re not going to ask them.” he puts the plates in the sinks and turns to you. “they wouldn’t do that, they’re not… father material.”

ugh. look at him trying to find a reason to voice why he doesn’t think you asking your friends is a good idea without just being honest about why he wouldn’t like it

you tilt your head to the side. “why not? i’ve asked them before in a hypothetical sense and they weren’t opposed to it.”

at this, his frown deepens

he closes the distance between you two almost instantly. he says, “i’ll do it, there’s no need to ask anyone else.”

ugh

you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes

what the hell is his deal?

right girl… pretend like you’re not enjoying this

you shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. “i don’t need you to do it just to spite me, yoongi. fucking grow up,” you mumble as you turn to walk back to the table

but he stops you in your tracks by grabbing you by the bicep

“it’s not to spite you, it’s for jun and the new baby. you’re right, we agreed on 2 kids and it’s best for them to share both parents. i’ll do it.” he lets go of your bicep after he’s seemingly convinced you to stay where you are

ohhh

now he wants to come around

you idly blink at him for a few moments. “i want you to do it because you want to do it, not because–”

“i want to.” he takes a slep closer, now menacingly looming over you. “i want to do whatever it takes.”

when you think he’s convincing enough, he adds, “you want me to put a baby in you? i’ll put a fucking baby in you.”

oh

right. 😂😂😂

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 okay….

your throat is tightening and your chest stutters with the way your heart feels like it’ll jump out of your body.

he’s staring down at you with such venom in his eyes that it almost stings you

“i’ll give you a whole goddamn soccer team if you need me to.” his eyes continue to stare you down. “if that’s what i need to do to make jun happy, i’ll do it.”

you blink at him, his warm breath fanning over your face. “okay,” you try to say confidently but it comes out a whisper

“how are we gonna go about it?” he quietly asks as he takes a small step back to end the proximity between you two

UGHHHH

here comes the part that you dread the most

you blink at him and your cheeks heat up. “i don’t expect you to go jack off in some random clinic, yoongi. just… in the traditional way.”

“that’s not what i meant,” he mumbles as he crosses his arms over his chest, ears a soft shade of red. “i meant when. where?”

“here. i’m ovulating this weekend.”

he coughs at the new information. damn. he’s supposed to fuck you this weekend already?

he starts nodding his head. “what about jun?”

“i’ll drop him off at my mom’s.”

he stares at you for a moment longer. “you’ve planned this out.”

“clearly.” you brush past him and gather more of the dirty dishes

he silently watches you, clearly still thinking about the crazy thing he just agreed to

you abruptly turn to him. “and listen here,” you say as you walk up to him, closing the distance and pressing an accusatory finger into his chest until he winces

“no foreplay. no kissing. no sweet talking. no aftercare.”

this might hurt him more than the finger pressing into him

because yoongi loves all of those things

yoongi loves foreplay. loves kissing. loves praising. loves to take care after

he frowns at you for a few moments. “no foreplay? how do you expect to ha–”

“i’ll make sure to be prepared by the time you arrive. don’t you worry about that.” you turn on your heels and gather the remaining dirty plates and utensils before putting them in the sink and drowning them in water

he quietly sighs. “so, that’s it? i come by every few weeks to fuck you and we don’t even communicate?”

ohhhh

NOW he wants to care about that?

you bitterly laugh. “oh, you mean like our shitty marriage the last 6 months leading up to our divorce?”

you can tell he didn’t like that by the way his nostrils flare and a muscle in his jaw tenses

this one stings

his face turns into a scowl. “don’t put everything on me. that’s not fair.”

you shrug your shoulders. “just tellin’ it how it is.” you brush past him to head into the living room, seeing jun still playing with his new toy

yoongi follows you out, shoving his hands in his pockets. “you know you’re being unfair. it’s why you’re walking away from me.”

“honestly, yoongi,” you say as you turn to him. “kiss my ass.”

you then turn to pick jun up off the floor. “you need to go to sleep, baby, it’s getting late.”

you hold jun in your arms and surprisingly he’s not protesting

he holds out his grabby hands at his father and yoongi takes him right away

he says bye to him, cuddling and poking jun until he’s shaking from laughter

you take him back and head into jun’s room, changing his clothes and tucking him into bed

you kiss his small forehead and turn the lights off, leaving his nightlamp on before heading into your own room

you strip, reaching for the bathrobe

“is that why you wore my favorite dress?”

you squeal at the sudden voice coming from the entrance of your room as you turn around, hugging the bathrobe to hide your exposed body

your eyes meet yoongi’s, who is leaning against the doorframe with his hands buried in his pockets

“what the fuck are you doing here? i thought you’d already left,” you mumble as you quickly scramble to put the bathrobe on and tie the rope around your waist

“relax. nothing i haven’t seen before.” he starts walking further into your room, closing the distance between you two

and each step he takes makes your heart beat of your damn chest

get your shit together !!!

“i don’t care! you can’t just–”

“and why not?” he finally stops walking when he’s right in front of you, half an arms length away from you. “you’re asking me to fuck you but i can’t see you in your underwear? how backwards is that?”

you angrily frown up at him. “i didn’t consent to you seeing me like this, at this moment.”

he blinks a few times and then tilts his head to the side. “you’re right. sorry. won’t happen again.” he looks around the room before back to you. “all i wanted to do was ask when you expect me to come.”

huh?

what is he even

???

your brow pinch together in confusion and the back of your neck heats up. “uhh…” you blink a few times, wondering if you heard him correctly. “when you’re inside of me..?”

girl..

he idly blinks at you with a soft frown on his brows. his eyes pingpong between yours from left to right, dropping to your lips for a moment before back into your eyes.

his tongue darts out to wet his lips before he speaks again and says, “i was talking about when you expect me to arrive… this weekend. what day. what time.”

oh

OH

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 right!

dumb bitch😭

“oh,” you mumble, heat rising to your cheeks and ears, a slight twitch in your lips. “uh, saturday… saturday at 8pm is fine.”

his tongue peeks out and swipes along his lips again as he stares you down before nodding. “okay. i’ll see you then.”

“yeah,” you reply, voice higher pitched than usual

heart beating a thousand miles a minute

“see you, y/n.” the way your name rolls off his tongue so deliciously whilst he’s still in your proximity, feline eyes staring you down, it all sets your entire body on fire

he looks at you for a moment longer before turning around and heading down the corridor before you hear him shove his feet into his shoes and leave your apartment

ahhhh

your heart won’t stop beating out of your chest

your palms are sweaty

your entire body is on fire

fuck

is this really a good idea?

to be continued.

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[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic 1D fics]

Iconic fics by ...

- p h d m a m a -

[1]

“Mom, he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. I’m not sure I can love anyone else the way I loved him, and no one has ever loved me better, at least, not while it was good.”

“No one’s ever hurt you that badly either, Harry,” his mother reminds him gently.

“I know. But when it was good, it was really good. I know we were young, but it was true love, Mom. It was real. And maybe, it could be that way again.”

“Kintsugi,” says Greg from the doorway, where he’s holding the squirming puppy.

All three heads in the kitchen whip around to look at him.

“What?” asks Gemma, getting up to grab the pup and give him a kiss.

“Kintsugi, it’s a traditional Japanese art form. When a piece of pottery was broken, they’d repair it with gold, to make something beautiful out of the broken pieces.” He shrugs. “Sounds like what Harry’s talking about.”

[2]

“Manscaping, you bloom ‘em, we groom ‘em. How can I help you?”

“Oh, uh,” Harry stutters, caught completely off-guard. “Oh shit, sorry, I was expecting a voicemail.”

“Well, you caught me between clients, man. How can I help? Got some hedges running wild?”

Oh my. Harry hadn’t expected that the groomer would be quite so...straight forward, but he supposes that when you’re in the business, you become very comfortable with tackling things head on, as it were.

“Uh yeah, very unruly,” he says ruefully, picturing the disaster scene he’d scrubbed down that morning.

“Is this an emergency?” The voice asks, “Like, the in-laws coming tomorrow sort of thing?”

Harry frowns. “Oh no, nothing like that,” he says finally, wondering what sort of marital relationship this gentleman has. “I’m just, you know, getting back out on the scene, want everything to be nice and neat.”

“Of course,” the voice says approvingly, “Don’t we all.”

[3]

“That’s a beautiful wand, Harry,” Liam chimes in and Harry flushes.

He’d seen Liam’s wand earlier, and it’s as magnificent as Zayn’s, made of teak, Liam had mentioned, inlaid with a mother-of-pearl floral motif, and with a huge, grass-green, clear emerald at the tip. Harry fears his own serviceable carved oak pales in comparison, but smiles his thanks.

“It’s served me well over the years,” he says, “I got it all polished up for the trip.”

He hears Louis choke on his wine a little, who then says, “Oh, really? Got it all polished, nice and special?”

Harry frowns, “Yeah, there’s a guy in Harvard Square I go to, he always does a good job,” and when Louis snickers into his drink, Harry realizes what he’s insinuating.

“Really? Wand polishing jokes? What are you, twelve?” And with that, the entire table, minus Harry, bursts out laughing while Harry sulks into his wine.

[4]

He mindlessly clicks through, sending friend requests to Zayn’s dad and sister, Liam’s mom, Cal’s mom (who’s known him since he was in diapers), and Mrs. Anderson, his old music teacher from middle school. Then the profile of a guy named Ed Twist pops up. Louis frowns, staring at the ceiling, wondering who this is. He assumes they’ve got some sort of connection, otherwise Facebook wouldn’t have offered him to Louis, and with a name like that, he’s probably an old dude. Maybe he’s a friend of Mrs. Anderson? His profile is pretty locked down, when Louis goes to look, all his photos are on private. The guy’s profile picture is of a henna tattooed hand playing the guitar, his banner is a rainbow flag, and there are a few generic posts supporting liberal causes. Huh. So maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s into music, and apparently he’s a liberal. Louis likes all those things, being gay and making music and supporting liberal causes, so without overthinking it, he clicks the “send a friend request” button.

Answers below...

[1] Feels Like Coming Home

The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.

This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.

[2] On the Go

From this post because I could not resist:

ok so i saw a truck today and i thought it said MANSCAPE but it actually said MAINSCAPE and it was a landscaping company. but then i thought LARRY AU. where louis owns a landscaping company called MANSCAPE and harry thinks it’s some sort of in-home pubic hair grooming company, so he calls to make an appointment, there’s some discussion of whether he wants his bushes trimmed as well, and then when it’s time for the appointment, harry’s like half-naked waiting around in a robe or something and louis shows up with lawnmowers. 

[3] It's a Better Place (Since You Came Along)

When Harry Styles, a mid-level talent, Finder, and small business owner, sets off on the vacation of a lifetime with his best friend, Niall Horan, he has no idea the changes his life will undergo over the next nine days. He's got it all planned - there's going to be shore excursions, lounging by the pool on the deck of the luxurious cruise ship, not to mention margaritas. What he does not plan for are the new friends, new bonds, or the mystery from his past that comes back to haunt him, and he certainly hasn't planned for Louis.

[4] Friend Request

This was written for Kassio as a pinch hit for the HL Summer Exchange, from the prompt: " Louis is bored on Facebook and in the “People you may know” suggestions, he sees the name Harry Styles. The profile picture doesn't show the person. He thinks it's an old family friend who he misses – maybe a middle-aged or elderly former neighbor or babysitter who he was fond of as a child - and sends a friend request. Turns out it's not old man Harry from their old neighborhood, it's hot young Harry (who he's never met before) who accepts his friend request..."

[motherofdogs1010]

Need to Know II (Peter Parker x Reader)

Summary: When she was ready to get back out on the dating scene after dumping a certain Winter Soldier, Y/N was a woman ready to get back out there. She just never expected to find herself in a relationship with a certain nerdy spider. Warnings: Reader is basically Penelope Garcia, toxic ex! Bucky, fratboy!Peter, older woman/younger man, age gap relationship, mentions of ageism, eventual pregnancy Dividers by @firefly-graphics Banner by @vase-of-lilies

Part I

Present Day

To say that Y/N ever thought she'd be in a relationship with someone younger than her, she would be lying if she said she did. She had never expected to find herself in a relationship where she was the older one, but here she was, laying on her Cal King bed as she watched Peter type away on his computer, writing a paper for one of his robotics classes.

Peter let out a frustrated groan before closing his laptop and falling down beside her, Y/N looked at him with a amused look on his face.

"This professor makes me regret going to college", Peter groaned, Y/N chuckled.

"You're just overthinking yourself", Y/N said as she scratched his head. "You'll do great, remember, it's your last year."

"Between school and being Spider-man, sometimes I feel burnt out", Peter said.

"You'll do great", Y/N repeated as Peter practically purred at the head scratches. “Once you’re done, you’ll be able to work with Tony like he promised and you won’t be so stressed out juggling everything.”

"How did you even become a technical analyst for the Avengers anyways? It's kinda random because you popped up out of nowhere."

"I hacked into the government's system and got on their watchlist, which led me to eventually hacking into FRIDAY for fun one day."

Peter looked at her and she shrugged but it was the truth; hacking and such had always been her thing and eventually led to her being sought out by Tony himself after she may have hacked into his system for shits and giggles.

"Well, that explains everything", Peter said, "can you hack into my professor's computer?"

"I could, but it'd ruin the pardon Tony got me", Y/N pouted, "but for you, I'd risk it."

She leaned over to Peter and planted a kiss on his lips, and Peter chuckled at her comment.

"Alright, maybe let's not send you to federal prison", Peter joked, "but you wanna go down to Delmar's and get sandwiches?"

Y/N nodded, "I just have to shower first."

As she begun to get up from the bed, she looked at Peter and said, "Wanna come shower with me?"

"Babe, if I ever say no, take me to Bruce because there's something clearly wrong with me."

With a giggle, Peter chased her to the bathroom.

After a steamy shower session that lasted longer than it probably should have, Peter was taking a quick call from his best friend, Ned, who had been accepted and was attending MIT before they left to Delmar's. Y/N decided to wait in the kitchen, walking in to see Wanda and Vision making brownies.

"Hey guys", Y/N said as she sat down at one of the kitchen island chairs.

"Oh hey Y/N", Wanda smiled as she mixed the batter.

"Hello Y/N", Vision greeted as he watched Wanda mix the batter.

"Venturing Vision's culinary skills to baking?" Y/N asked, Vision nodded and Wanda laughed.

"Where are you off to?" Wanda teased, "Peter whisking you away somewhere?"

So far, a majority of the Avengers seemed to be alright with her relationship with Peter, ignoring the age gap between the two of them.

Well, nearly all of them...

"We're going to Delmar's", Y/N replied back.

"Oh! Bring me back a sandwich", Wanda chimed.

"Will do", Y/N said, "hey, where is everyone?"

"Steve and Sam went on another run, Nat and Clint are on a quick recon mission", Vision replied.

The sound of shrill laughter boomed into their ears and Y/N saw Wanda wince and shake her head at the noise while she was mouthing 'wow' to herself.

Y/N knew who that laughter belonged to and she couldn't help, but want to laugh at it all.

"Oh, Y/N, I didn't think you'd be here."

Looking over her shoulder, Y/N raised a brow to the person who spoke in a condescending tone.

Dot or Dottie as she heard Bucky call the blonde haired woman stood in the entrance of kitchen, popping a piece of bubblegum loudly while her phone was in her hand. If Y/N was being honest, her relationship with Bucky had been on the rocks for a while before Dot, but Dot was the final nail in the coffin to end her relationship.

And at one point, Y/N would have felt some form of bitterness towards Dot's presence, but now, she felt nothing but annoyance at the woman's persistent need to try and one up for some reason or another.

"Why wouldn't I be here? I live here", Y/N replied in a confused tone.

"I figured you'd be... rocking the cradle and all", Dot said with a smirk.

Y/N wanted to groan at the jab towards her relationship with Peter, it was Dot's biggest thing to constantly bring up.

"It's robbing the cradle", Peter interjected as he walked into the kitchen. "Not that it applies to us

Peter walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders before pressing a kiss to her temple. Y/N noticed Dot's eyes hyper-fixated on Peter as Peter greeted Wanda and Vision but Y/N knew that were Dot was, Bucky was soon following and Y/N was not in the mood for dealing with the man.

"Ready, babe?" Peter asked as Y/n saw Vision look at the brownie batter.

"Yup", Y/n said as she slid out of the chair.

"Aren't you a little too old to be wearing that?" Dot asked, Y/N frowned.

Her and Dot were the same age and Y/n wore a yellow sundress since it was humid this time of year in New York. Y/N raised a eyebrow at Dot and glanced at Wanda, who rolled her eyes at Dot's comment.

"Nope", Y/n said, looking at the dress. "But you might wanna apply that logic to yourself, Dottie. We're the same age after all."

Dot frowned as Y/n got up from her seat, feeling Peter wrap an arm around her waist as he began to led them away fro the kitchen.

Y/N looked at Peter amused as he told her about his squished sandwich theory, a smile on her face as he explained that it made the sandwich taste better. Wanda had happily taken her sandwich, running away to continue watch Modern Family in her and Vision's room.

That left her and Peter in the living room, watching Ahsoka on Disney+.

"Man, I want to buy her lightsaber", Peter whined, "it looks so cool."

"It's a nice lightsaber", she agreed with a chuckle. "Personally, I want Darth Maul's."

"That's a huge one", Peter said, "they literally have to assemble it in parts."

"But imagine how intimidating it would be", she argued.

"Now what are you two lovebirds talking about", Tony chimed as he walked in.

"Lightsabers", Peter answered with a grin.

Tony and Peter began talking about some upgrades for his suit when her phone vibrated, she grasped it from under her and saw it was a text from Bucky. She wished she could block him, but since he was a member of the Avengers, she couldn't since she was a asset for them.

Opening the text, she frowned as a slew of texts began coming in.

She rolled her eyes and put her phone away from her as she hit 'DO NOT DISTURB'. She wasn't sure why Bucky had been like this, sending texts like this but she hoped he got the message soon as Tony said he was leaving to take Pepper on a date, allowing them to go back to their show.

Y/N relaxed back into Peter's embrace, laying her head on his shoulder without a care. She felt happy, even if she hadn't expected it to be with someone younger than her as Peter kissed the top of her head before she connected their lips together.

It was their monthly Avengers get-together over at the Compound, everyone dressed in their nicest clothes as Tony held a nice fancy dinner. Y/N wore a backless cocktail dress that she had a hard time convincing Peter he could not mess with until after the party was over, although, she had a hard time keeping herself from Peter with his rolled up sleeves that showcased his arms.

Right now, they were all scattered around the room; Nat was working the bar for some reason or another.

"Hey there Tech Queen", Nat said as Y/N approached her. "Where's your other half?"

"Talking science with Strange and Tony", she shrugged with a grin. "Not sure if I trust you behind the bar, Nat. You make the drinks as strong as Asgardian liquor."

Nat laughed just as Steve walked up to them, he kissed the side of Nat's head.

"What are you two laughing about?" he asked.

"Nat's bartending", Y/N answered, Steve winced.

"Yeah, maybe let's not", Steve said, Nat laughed and waved him off.

Y/N looked around to see Carol engaged in some form of arm wrestle with Thor, Sam watching the two, Wanda was conversing with Pepper, Peter still with Strange and Tony, and Bruce and Rhodey talking.

She wasn't sure where Vision was, knowing him he was probably phasing through some walls or something.

"Here, drink this", Nat said with a grin.

"Oh no", Y/N said with a smile. "I don't trust you with making drinks. Last time I had one, I--"

"Yeah, Y/N, do tell us what happened last time you had one."

Her mood was killed, instantly as she noticed Bucky had arrived. Her face said it all as Nat frowned at the man, she noticed even Steve frowning.

"Did this conversation involve you?" Y/N sassily said with a raised brow. "I believe this was a A,B, and C conversation."

"Oh, I was just wondering if the last time Nat made you a drink, you maybe did some things that you regret… or someone.”

"No, no regrets here", Y/N said as she looked at her nails.

Bucky was beginning to look like he had sucked on a lemon by his facial expression just as she felt a pair of arms around her, looking over her shoulder to see Peter.

"Mr. Barnes", Peter cooly said.

"Parker", Bucky gritted.

Y/N saw Nat taking a amused slip of her drink.

"Dateless tonight?" Peter asked with a smirk.

"Just for tonight", Bucky grumbled.

"Huh, how... unfortunate for you", Peter said with false sympathy. "If you don't mind, well, I know you won't."

Peter gestured for them to leave a fuming Bucky and a very amused Natasha to be dealt with by Steve.

Later, Y/N wrapped her arms around Peter's neck and he pulled her closer to her; Peter began to sway them with a grin on his face as she playfully shook her head at him, a grin making its way onto her face.

"Have I told you that you're pretty?" Peter asked.

"Not today, I don't think", she teased as Peter bumped their noses.

"What kind of boyfriend am I then?" Peter teased.

She felt happy with Peter, their relationship felt easy and uncomplicated as Peter connected their lips, squeezing her body a little as he tried to bring her in closer.

[riya-kaur]

calum thomas hood

cw: soft/fluffy calum!

kiss me.

"you look so beautiful right now"

your eyebrows knitted together as you looked down at yourself, "cal, baby, i'm just in a towel" you giggle, raising your head back up, watching as he approaches you from outside the bathroom door, with a smirk plastered on his lips.

he hums as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. you let your hands rest on his tattooed biceps before looking up into his eyes.

"kiss me then" you giggle as notice calum's brown eyes flicker between your eyes and lips.

"don't have to tell me twice, love" he mumbles before placing his lips on mine, lingering a slow yet teasing kiss.

he smiles against your lips before running his tongue against your bottom lip. you part your lips slightly, allowing his tongue access, but he pulls back, looking down at you.

"what's wrong?" you ask, letting your hands travel up to his cheeks, cupping both sides. "nothing" he hums. "everything is perfect, love" he smiles.

he bends down slightly, letting his hand fall to the back of your thighs, lifting you up on to the bathroom counter. he inserts himself in between your legs.

"i got so fucking lucky" he coos as he tucks a strand of your hair behind you ear. you look down at your lap as you feel your cheeks turn to a deep red color.

"no baby, look at me" his voice is soft as he hooks a finger under your chin, lifting your face back to where it was.

"my beautiful baby" calum coos as he lets his lips fall to your collarbone purposely as he knows that's your weak spot. his hands rest on your thighs, squeezing them with every kiss you lays on you.

he raises his head once he hears a small moan exit your mouth. he places his lips back onto yours, this time more hungrier. he pulls you closer with every kiss, one of his hands on the back of your neck, helping you keep your balance as the two of you made out heavily.

you eventually pull yourself back for air, your lips still grazed as the two of you rest your foreheads on one another.

"you make me feel like a teenage boy again" calum chuckles as he hides his face in your neck, placing small kisses in the crook of your neck.

"mhm i''ve never noticed" you joke before placing a kiss to his head. you feel calum let out a small laugh against your skin.

"i should let you get dressed" calum frowns as he pulls away from you, he let's his eyes glance over your body one last time before slowly backing away. "you're so cute" you giggle as you shake your head.

"that i am" he winks from the bathroom door frame. you blow him a kiss before he pretended to catch it, "don't take too long, i miss you already" he frowns before leaving from the door frame.

you chuckle to yourself as you grab the outfit you laid on the counter, which you set there before your shower. you quickly changed into the outfit, which simply consisted of one of calum's graphic tees.

after changing, you made your way into your shared bedroom. you notice calum and duke spread across the bed, calum tugging lightly on the toy duke held in his mouth.

you watch and giggle at the two of them before walking around to your side of the bed, slipping under the duvet.

duke, instantly acknowledging you, came running over to you, his tail wagging whilst his tongue extended to your face, licking your chin.

"momma's boy," calum sighed as he observed the two of you, resting his back against the headboard.

you giggle at calums remark before peppering kisses all over duke's face, "hi baby" you coo, finishing with a kiss to his nose.

you place duke beside you as you snuggle into calum's side. you let your hand run up and down his bare chest.

"miss me" you ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes. "always do" he smiles, placing a kiss on your head

"nice t-shirt baby" calum points out. "thank you, it's my boyfriend, he's into his fashion" you joke. calum hums in response, "what else is he into?" calum asks, playing along.

"me" you wink, you observe calum holding in a laugh, "okay, that was good" he grins you look up at calum, giving him a lazy smile before letting your head nuzzle into his chest.

"ï'm tired" you announce. "can you sing me a song to fall asleep to?" you ask with a cheeky smile plastered on your lips, batting your eyelashes at him.

"always, my love" he coos as he wrapped his arms around you, rubbing the small of your back softly.

he starts singing the first verse of 'gotta get out' looking down at you, his lips in a smile as he sings to you.

you watch the words flow out his mouth as you dart your eyes between his mouth and his eyes, as he did in the bathroom before. you hear calum chuckling, making you come out of your trance,

"go on then, kiss me"

a/n: this is a reupload from my old account! ♡

[lilgarbitch]

Running In Circles - Five

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: none?

Word Count: 9.5k

Author’s Note: I’m really hoping I’m not overwhelming the tags or anything by republishing all of these so close to each other. Also because I’m changing a few things, there are possibilities that I missed something so if anything looks weird or doesn’t make sense, please feel free to let me know❤️

Part Four

Y/N

It’s been a little over a week since Noah and I argued. Since Matt and I got close. Since The Will Ramos reached out to me. And I truly couldn’t be more confused about my life.

Firstly, I would like to make up with Noah. I really would. But the universe and my mother made me the petty bitch I am today. We tried our best not to let the tension bother everyone else, which meant I still had to see him every time we all hung out. We just kept our distance. And I guess it was the fact that I was upset about it all, but he was getting on my nerves so easily now. I kept it to myself, but I still got annoyed every time he interrupted someone. Or he couldn’t control his lanky ass appendages and accidentally hit or kicked someone or something while moving around. I know it was because he was always on my mind, so I paid extra attention to him without even trying, but that, mixed with the ruminating feelings I dealt with after being so disrespected, was just a disaster for my mood most days. 

Finn did his best to support me, him being one of the only ones I told everything to. I left Cal and Cam in the dark, mainly just saying that we had a little fight because I couldn’t do that to them. They didn’t need to be in the middle of something like this. And everyone else treated me fine, so I’m not sure who Noah talked to. Matt said that he hadn’t said anything to him, but at the same time, I do believe that Noah may be a little too irritated with him to speak to him at the moment. 

Speaking of Matt, that’s point number two. Matt and I have stayed close. We started going on little friend dates whenever we had time, checking out places in the cities we visited. It wasn’t always the two of us, sometimes a few of the boys joined us, but he was really helping keep my mind off everything. We mainly just went out for ice cream, as we enjoyed that little tradition we started, but occasionally we found places that said they were “The Best Hotdogs in the World” or “World Famous Onion Rings.” We even joked that we should start our own ‘Flavor Town’ podcast or something. We just liked being able to try out things with someone we considered an extension of ourselves. It felt like a mix of being able to try out new things by yourself, just not entirely alone. It was a little exaggerated, but finding someone so…you, was such an amazing feeling. 

That resulted in everyone eventually pulling a full-on interrogation on us, asking if we were dating, or at least hooking up, which we just laughed at and repeated responded with a pointed “Fuck no!” I couldn’t tell you if that news had reached Noah or not, as he was starting to give us both the silent treatment. Matt said he was okay with it, that it wasn’t nearly as bad as when he picked Folio’s side in an argument a while back. I did feel like I was getting in between brothers, but with the reassurance from Matt and enough “fuck that guy”s from Finn, it eased my stress a little bit. 

Now onto Will. We’ve actually been keeping in touch. He was hilarious, and I truly couldn’t wait to meet him. We’ve mainly just sent memes (because I accidentally sent one to him instead of Damien once, and it just became normal), and me asking for tips here and there, but there were still a few chats filled with compliments about each other’s voices and bands. There was no rush to meet him, especially with me touring and him dealing with his own tight schedule. We could barely even catch each other’s texts unless it was a night where we were both staying up super late, him usually working on music and me dwelling on thoughts and writing more lyrics. But I was still enjoying having him as an online friend. Maybe I’ll work up the courage to Facetime him like he asked, saying it could be a little online vocal session. I would love his help, but I’m still not convinced he was even talking to me.

Another crazy thing I learned is that we were all going to spend our week break in Los Angeles. Our L.A. show magically landed on October 29th (we all know that Noah and the boys had some input on this), and from the 30th to the 5th, we were all going to be staying there. If you asked me, I’d say it was a little selfish for Noah to have his birthday off this tour but not Ruffilo, but they also spoke about it also being a holiday, so I guess I could understand. The Bad Omen’s boys wouldn’t shut up about being able to be in their own bed again. They even invited all of us to stay with them, Cam and Cal immediately taking them up on their offer. Finn said he’d think about it, mainly because I was adamant about just booking myself a hotel. I know once I tell Finn that I was okay and for him to just have fun, he’d immediately jump on the offer as well. And truthfully, I needed a hotel room to myself. The boys and I have lived together for coming up on four years, and the chances of me ever being alone in that house were slim to none. I do kind of wish we could head back home to New York for the break, but I knew the boys wanted to party with the rest of them. I even debated on heading back to Louisiana and spending time with family and old friends, but I knew I would get “wish you were here”s and constant updates of everything I was missing out on. So alone time in a hotel was my best option, and I honestly couldn’t be that mad. 

We had a few more shows before our L.A. one, but I already had everything planned out. The hotel room was booked, me spending a pretty penny on a nice one so I could have as much R and R as possible. I did some research on places I wanted to check out, whether it be alone or with my boys- who now included Matt. And I even had a possible outfit picked out if I did decide to go to the Halloween/ Birthday Bash. Apparently, Noah hated mixing the two, which I completely understood, but they decided they just had to do it this once since they wanted to host a giant mid-tour party. Maybe if I get drunk enough or find a way to stay away from Noah at all costs, I could be okay with going. 

We were now on our way to the next show, and I was just sitting in the back of the bus, listening to music. I’ve been in constant debate on whether my emotions could take over and I could bum out on some of these shows, or if I should look as hot as I possibly could, letting ‘you know who’ feel bad. But with the break coming up very soon, I decided that going all out was the obvious choice, and I could let the feelings take over the second I reached my own privacy. 

I knew that it wasn’t my clothing choice that made Noah treat me like I was a whore, but even if it was, I was sure as hell dressing like a whore now to shove it in his face. I constantly had as many of my tattoos on display as possible. I’d wear jackets to and from the venues and arenas just so I could wear a low-cut top on stage. I haven’t worn a pair of pants on stage once, only skirts and shorts, some even showing a little under cheek. And I can’t lie, I have been feeling so good about myself since I started doing this. The boys have given me many compliments, and even the crowd has started to notice. I had girls comment on my and my band’s posts, asking for outfit details, and even a few guys said they enjoyed seeing me feeling good in my body. Yes, there was hate and a lot of sexual comments, but that wasn’t new, and I never cared about it anyway. 

Today, I had on an outfit I felt super proud of. I wore a bra-like top with a corset underneath, lining up perfectly to look like a full shirt, a cute skirt with buckles and metal rings going down it, some thigh highs with garters attached at the top, and my old reliables- platform boots. My neck, chest, and arm tattoos were on full display, and I felt fucking good. Maybe it was the feeling of petty revenge, maybe it was knowing the compliments I’d get, or maybe it was just that I’d compliment myself if I saw her walking down the street. All I knew was I had reached a point of confidence that I never wanted to return from. 

We finally pull up to the venue, and I turn off my music and got ready to head out. The boys and I all pile out of the bus and head towards the venue, now having gotten into a good routine of checking the place out if we got here first. 

As we walked up, I noticed that there was a group of people already waiting in front of the venue, and the confidence had my body moving before I could even think about what I was going to do next. I informed the boys that I would be right back and walked through the venue towards the front. I finally ran into some security and asked them if it was alright if they joined me while I met some fans. Some said they’d call more over since they didn’t want to deal with all of that right now, but eventually, I had four security guys walking me out the venue's front doors. 

Within an instant, there was a chorus of screams, and all I could do was smile. Two of the guys made sure everyone stayed in line, and the other two followed me towards the fans. I knew they weren’t all there for me, so I only talked to the ones who looked like they were almost in tears. 

I didn’t even think of bringing a pen or marker, but thankfully, some fans always came prepared. I signed whatever they asked, most being random body parts, as this was not a normal thing for me to do, so most were as unprepared as I was. I took so many pictures that my cheeks were starting to hurt, but I didn’t care because the looks on their faces as I spoke to them overpowered any discomfort. I even took a few videos, greeting people who couldn’t make it or wishing people happy birthdays. One guy even Facetimed his girlfriend, who had to give up her ticket since she was sick, so I talked to her for a few minutes. I learned that her name was Dahlia (which I obviously complimented) and that he was Austin. She said she was a huge fan and apologized for looking bad, but I just told her that she looked beautiful, because she did. She was almost in tears as we ended our talk, and once the call was over, I asked the guy to write her username on something so I could shoot her a message later. His eyes widened as he wrote it down on a random piece of paper he had, and said that it meant the world to him that I cared, and that the only reason he came here instead of staying with her was because she forced him to, with the job of recording as much as he could. With a pout, I gave him a hug, whispering in his ear that I may be able to get my hands on future tickets for them, but he has to keep it a secret, to which he nodded with his eyes wide and the brightest smile on his face. I need to do this more.

I spent a good twenty more minutes chatting with fans, becoming close with a few more of them, before having to head back inside, not wanting to force the security guards to deal with too much. I thanked everyone in security who was there for everything they did, between this and dealing with the crazy crowds during shows. They all responded in their own stoic way, wanting to keep their tough persona. But one asked for a picture, saying his wife was a fan, which warmed my heart. After that, I headed back to the boys. 

Once I reached everyone, I saw that the other group had shown up while I was gone, so I said my greetings before sitting down and waiting for soundcheck. Matt usually worked with crew during this time, only occasionally popping in if he had the chance, and the rest of the guys just did whatever, generally acting like idiots until we had to get to business. Damien and I started doing our warmups on the bus; that way, in case we were ever late to a show (like we were a few days back because of an accident on the road), we wouldn’t waste any time. So all I really did now was play on my phone or help out crew if they let me. 

I pulled out the piece of paper, opening my phone, and typing Dahlia’s username into Instagram. I didn’t follow her just yet, wanting to get my secret message across first so she didn’t freak out when she saw the follow.

Y/N- Hi, love! Before I say anything, I just wanna let you know that what I’m doing is very secret ;) So if we could keep this between us, that would be great❤️ Austin gave me your user and I just thought you were so sweet and I felt so bad that you couldn’t make it so I wanted to know if there was another show you could possibly make it to. Hell, I’ll even buy plane tickets if I have to. 

She almost instantly read it, and I waited for a response. It took a few minutes, as she was probably freaking out a little bit like she was before, but I finally saw that she sent a message.

Dahlia- Stop I think I might cry. You really don’t have to do this. I can just catch you guys the next time you come out here. 

Y/N- Oh stop❤️ Pick a show sometime in the future where you’ll be available and healthy. I’ll get you two tickets, unless you want to bring more, and anything else you need.

Dahlia- Two is enough!! If someone wants to join me, I’ll just kick Austin out of the plans since he’s the lucky one who gets to see you today. 

Y/N- 😂 If you say so. Look over the tour dates and let me know the perfect date for you, and I got you covered, okay?

After some reassurance that it was indeed not a big deal, she eventually decided on one of our shows in a few days since it was a drivable distance. I worried that she might not be feeling better by then, but she let me know she was already feeling better, she just didn’t want to risk spreading anything. I asked once more if she needed anything, like a hotel room, but she assured that she could cover everything else and that she felt that I was doing enough by getting her these tickets. After chatting for a while, I noticed that it was almost time for soundcheck, so I told her to rest and thank Austin for getting videos tonight. 

I felt eyes on me as I put my phone away, looking up to see Noah staring at me with a look I couldn’t quite distinguish. Then I realized that I had a big smile on my face as I was texting, and he probably immediately got jealous since that was his favorite thing to do now. I ignored him and stood up, walking past everyone and down to where I assumed Matt would be. Once I saw that signature long hair and cap, I walked over with a smile on my face. 

“Hey Matty, are you busy?” I asked, trying to sound as sweet as possible, holding my hands in front of me so he couldn’t say no to me. He turned to me and smiled but then eyed me suspiciously. 

“What do you have planned?” He already knew me too well.

“I was wondering…If we had any tickets and backstage passes left for the show on the 29th?” I tried not to break from the sweet persona I put on. I did this anytime I wanted him to grab me water or take me for ice cream late at night, and he could never say no.

He rolled his eyes playfully, not actually annoyed, just pretending like he hated that I was giving him extra work to do.

“I guess I’ll check. What for?” 

“Well, I went out early and met a couple of fans, and one of them was this guy who was forced to come alone because his girlfriend was sick. She and I ended up talking, and I just felt so bad because she really wanted to come but didn’t want to spread anything, so I wanted to buy them future tickets and passes. She was so sweet, Matt. I just felt so bad,” I pouted as I finished speaking. He groaned. 

“God, you’re too nice, dude. Okay. I’ll check when I get the chance. We usually always have extra tickets just in case one of us needs them, but I have to see if they’re still available and if that’s even a date where we’re doing a meet and greet.” He jokingly looked at me like I was evil for being nice, making me laugh. 

“So, I may or may not have convinced her to pick a date that had a meet and greet after without telling her…so I did one of the jobs for you!” I said with a cheeky smile, making him shake his head, chuckling. 

“Alright, then we’ll talk later about the tickets, now go before you’re late for soundcheck,” He commanded as he shooed me away. I gave him a quick side hug before turning to head backstage.

I was maybe a little too giddy about the whole situation, so I skipped with a giant smile as I went back. I got a few looks from the guys when I entered the room, but I ignored them as I sat back down on the couch, probably looking a little insane as I giggled to myself while waiting for soundcheck.

The show was super fun. I was in a good mood the whole time and made sure to show it. I saw Austin in the crowd, and even though I felt a little bad for everyone else since I may be favoring them a little too much today, I let him pick our cover song. He said that he loved the Lorna Shore cover that I did, so he asked if I could do another. Thankfully, the boys had been practicing a lot since that day, convincing me that maybe we could upload a real cover of one of their songs somewhere in the future. They all really enjoyed ‘Sun//Eater,’ so they mainly practiced it. We obviously didn’t have a rhythm guitarist and had only been practicing for a week, so we got the crew to play the instrumental as we all performed the song, wanting to give the crowd a full experience. Everyone went crazy once again. Sadly, Cal and Cam were too busy playing to be able to control the crowd again, but everyone still had an amazing time. 

Everyone was now back on the busses. We didn’t have to leave for a few hours, so most of the boys were hanging out on the Bad Omen’s bus. Jolly came by a few minutes ago, asking if I wanted to join a few of them as they ran to the store, apparently stealing Matt’s van to do so. I said ‘no,’ not knowing who exactly was going (and not wanting to ask) and also because I was once again enjoying the privacy I had as everyone else was hanging out somewhere else. 

I had my laptop playing Adventure Time in the background as I played on my phone. I liked playing games like solitaire or sudoku when I had the chance, it being nice to exercise the mind while entertaining myself at the same time. Then, I heard footsteps walking up the bus stairs, making me snap my focus to whoever it was. Matt sauntered into view with a smile on his face. 

“Two tickets for the 29th secured,” he said, handing them over to me. I gave him a wide smile. 

“Were there no backstage passes?” I asked, a little worried.

“No, there were, but you owe me something in exchange.” I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“And what would that be?” 

“Join me on a ride to pick up some candy,” He responded with a childish grin. 

“I would..but Jolly stole your van.” His face immediately fell as he let out a loud groan before laughing.

“That asshole!” He trudged over and plopped down onto the couch next to me. 

“Damien definitely has a stash around here somewhere,” I giggled out. He turned to me with puppy dog eyes, making me laugh more as I stood.

I looked through Damien’s stuff for a few minutes, checking all his hiding spots, before finding a stash of sweets hidden under all his clothes in his suitcase. I returned to Matt, handing them to him, before sitting back down. He gave me a giddy smile as he began opening up a bag of Sour Patch Kids. I laughed as he shoved his face before going back on my phone. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, me playing on my phone and him watching the show as he packed his mouth full of candy. 

“So, I have to ask,” He said, mouth slightly full, breaking my attention from my game, “What’s your plan with all this shit with Noah?”

“Well, I’m still upset, and it’s honestly been really easy to ignore him and piss him off by ignoring him, so…” I trailed off with a smirk on my face.

“So you’re gonna keep pissing him off til he apologizes.” He laughs.

“Bingo.”

“Y/N, how do you expect him to even want to apologize when all you’re doing is making him mad?” I give him a smirk.

“By looking hot all the time,” I responded with a wink. His head dropped back with a loud laugh. 

“I mean, you got me there.” He shook his head in disbelief as I giggled. 

“It’ll be okay, though. The last thing I need right now is a relationship. I’m on my first tour with a major band. I’m gonna be working on my vocals more. I’m gonna try to meet more fans. I’m making memories with everyone that truly matters to me. Hell, this is the first time in years that I haven’t been actively yearning over someone! Finn told me that I needed to live a little, so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” I rambled. Matt nodded as I spoke, giving me a proud look. 

“Maybe I need to be a slut for a little while! I went so long without sex, that now that I got that under my belt, I feel so good about myself!” I finished. Matt loudly snorted before he dropped his head into his hands, laughing. 

“I mean, no one’s holding you back. If you truly want to focus on yourself, you get to decide what’s best for you. So fuck it, have some fun.” He said, still laughing, making me giggle with him. 

“Thank you for supporting my bad decisions, it means a lot,” I giggle out, patting his shoulder.

The next few days went well. I was thriving in my new headspace. The confidence flowed into every performance I did. I continued to sneak out and meet fans if I had the chance. I was constantly getting tagged in pictures online, either from the fans themselves or story outlets talking about me and the new energy I was giving off. And I looked good in every photo. There was even a little thought in the back of my head, saying that this was the perfect payback since I spent so long seeing Noah all over these pages. 

Since it was the 29th, our last show before the break, I decided to go a little extra and put together a costume, the one I was thinking of wearing to the Halloween/ Birthday Bash. Well, more like throwing together my usual clothes and just adding clown makeup since I haven’t had a chance to get anything more for it. I had a cute ruffled dress on and just tossed on some ruffled socks underneath a pair of boots. As wild as I dress, you’d think I would maybe have more, but sadly, I didn’t even think about Halloween when packing for tour. 

I put extra effort into my makeup and hair, though, really wanting to pull the look together. It was nothing special, but I needed it to look as clownish as possible. I even teased my hair and split it into pigtails. Personally, I looked like a hot clown, and that’s all that mattered.

We were now at the arena, and I was sitting in the back, texting Dahlia. We’ve been chatting over the past few days and I honestly couldn’t wait to finally meet her. I told her to let me know when she was here and that I would meet up with her to give her the tickets. I finally got a “pulling up now” text and giggled, standing up.

“Dude, your laugh is even creepier when you’re dressed like that,” Ruffilo said from across the room. I turned to him and laughed before giving him my creepiest smile, it being extended by the overdrawn smile I did. His face, along with Jolly, who was now watching, contorted into a look of humored terror, making me giggle more. 

Once again overly excited, I skipped to one of the side doors of the building and walked out, wanting to tell security that they were allowed. I texted Dahlia the directions and waited until I could see her and Austin walk into view. Then, I remembered something.

Y/N- Oh, just warning you. I look like a clown. 

I see her looking down at her phone and laugh before typing a response.

Dahlia- I bet you look fantastic.

Austin finally sees me and taps her to get her attention. They both see me and laugh as they try to close the distance faster. 

“You weren’t kidding! You actually look like a clown,” She said before turning to Austin and hitting his shoulder, “ I told you I should’ve dressed up.” 

I laugh and give her a hug, trying my best to not get any makeup on her, and then turn and give Austin a side hug, telling him that I was happy to see him again. 

“I’m so happy to finally meet you! I was worried that you wouldn’t wanna come!” I said.

“Meet me? Shut up, I cried when you texted me! And now here I am, talking to you!” I sheepishly waved her off, smiling. 

“Oh yeah, take these before I forget.” I hand her the two tickets and backstage passes. She smiles as she looks at them, but when she hands Austin his ticket, her eyes land on the passes, and she stares up at me in disbelief. 

“Nuh uh! Dude! You didn’t have to!” She exclaimed. Austin peaked over, trying to see what she was freaking out over, and once he saw the passes, he gave me the same shocked face, making me giggle. 

“Show these to security after the show, and you can come hang out with us backstage. We still had a lot left, so you may be the only ones.” They looked at me with the widest, most shocked smiles before giving me a big hug. I laughed and hugged them back. 

“What the fuck! You really didn’t have to do this!” Austin exclaimed. 

“Of course I did. You two are some of the sweetest people I’ve met, and I would be so sad if I couldn’t spend time with you after all of this.” I look over at Dahlia, and she had tears welling up in her eyes.

“Oh no! Don’t! Your makeup is too cute to ruin.” I say with a pout, moving to hold her face.

“This is just so sweet of you. Last week, I was hunched over a toilet, feeling like death, and now I’m about to meet Praising Deities.” She sniffled as she spoke, and I choked out a dry sob.

“So let today be a good day for you! No more tears. Go enjoy the music, and then come around, and we can hang out for a while. And remember, we’re nothing special, so don’t overthink it, okay?” She nodded, hooking a finger to try to wipe an eye without ruining her makeup.

I gave her and Austin one last hug before telling them to get in line and that I’ll see them soon. We split to go our separate ways, and I returned to the group. I hadn’t told anyone other than Matt that I was doing this, so I rounded up my band to let them know what was happening.

“Okay, so two very special fans are gonna come see us after the show, and I need you boys on your best behavior. Actually, just be you. I don’t want you guys putting on some weird celebrity personas because I want these two to feel as comfortable as possible, okay?” I told the three boys. They gave me a confused look but nodded anyway. Cal asked why they were so special, so I just explained the story to them, and they all immediately understood. They were sweet boys, so they started talking about things they could do to make this a fun night, and I couldn’t help but smile.

We had just finished most of our set. Some of the crowd also dressed up for the holiday, so I really enjoyed connecting with them, calling them by their costumes, letting them know that I saw and appreciated the effort. 

It was now time for the ‘Fan’s Choice’ song. I truly loved doing these. The boys and I have practiced so many songs over the years, all of us having such a broad music taste, so it was rare that someone picked a song that we didn’t already have perfected. They usually chose popular rock or metal songs, with someone occasionally trying to catch us by choosing a more pop song, but most of the time, we had it in the bag. 

Tonight, since Dahlia and Austin were super close to the stage, I gave it to them again. I know. I was being biased again, but after talking with Dahlia the past few days, I knew she had an amazing taste in music, and I really wanted to see what she would pick. 

I talked to the crowd for a minute, explaining what was happening, just in case they didn’t know. They all cheered like usual, hearing that we were going to perform something fun. My eyes landed on Dahlia, and I smirked. I walked towards the side of the stage she was in front of and crouched down. 

“You, pretty lady. What song should we sing tonight?” I asked. She looked at me shocked and Austin just chuckled next to her. She thought for a moment before walking closer to the stage, so I held the mic out for her to speak into. 

“I’ve always wanted to hear ‘End of Time’ live, but since it’s an old song of yours, you never played it.” I looked at her a little shocked. This might’ve been the first time someone asked us to play one of our own songs during this part of the show. I brought the mic back to my lips. 

“Wow. I haven’t played that song in so long. Honestly, that’s an amazing choice.” I stood back up and moved back to center stage and put the mic back in the stand before speaking again. 

“So, who’s all excited to hear an old song of ours?” I shouted towards the crowd. They all cheered back, making me smile. Who knows if they actually know the song and are just cheering for the fun of it, or if any actually wanted to hear this? I looked back at my band and saw that they either had shocked or excited faces. 

“You ready, boys? You still remember how to play this?” I asked them through the mic. I watched as Finn looked over his guitar as if working the chords back into his memory. Damien was the most excited, always loving our classics from when we formed the band, and Cal just looked happy to be there, like he always did. 

Finn starts us off. We didn’t have any backup vocals to play so I just stood a little far from the mic to hum the beginning. Then, Cam came in right on time. I swear he could store any song and its timing in his head, always playing it perfectly. Cal joined in when he got the hang of it again, and it truly brought back so many memories of playing this on dingy little stages at random venues. With a bright smile, I started singing.

You’ve built your life

Above the sin

You hold my hand

Before the end comes

The crowd was going wild, singing along. Holy fuck, they actually knew the words. I did my best to keep my composure, but I truly couldn’t hold back my smile as I sang along with everyone. 

‘Cause I belong to you

‘Cause I am part of you

I am dying in your arms

It’s time to go

I can’t make it through 

Cal steps towards his mic to sing his part. I look back and officially lose any restraint. This brought back memories I didn’t even know I held. Practicing in Damien’s garage. Us learning that Cal actually had an amazing voice and that we needed to add it in as much as possible. The excitement when we first perfected our own song. My lip quivered as I fought back tears.

I’ve come to realize 

Tonight my dear

The end of time

Is not so far away

We cannot pray 

To save our lives

I looked back at the crowd as he sang and felt the tears finally well up in my eyes. The faces I could see were all singing along with him. I’ve never gotten to see so many people sing this song. And they all sang along with him. Cal told us that playing and singing at the same time was a struggle, so we stopped adding solo parts for him. However, watching all these people join in with him made me realize that I didn’t care. I needed all my boys to join me in future songs. 

I sang a few more lines, keeping my voice as still as possible, not letting too much emotion flow through. I look over at Dahlia and Austin and see them singing their hearts out, looking into each other’s eyes with the utmost love as they serenade each other. She requested their song. This song was their love song. 

Cal joined in again as we sang a few lines and I could no longer hold back the tears. 

As I belong to you

My flesh and blood in you

I am burning in this fire

It’s time to go

I can’t make it through 

I was a bawling clown on a stage in front of thousands of people as I finished the song. I did my best to hold back from my voice quivering, but it didn’t help much. Once it was over, I had to turn away from the crowd to try and collect myself as they all cheered. I tried my hardest to control my breathing and ugly crying face before turning back around. 

“You guys..” I started, a pout forming on my lips, “ We haven’t performed that song since we played at crappy little stages in New York when we decided that we wanted to pursue music together.” I had to stop and choke back a sob. 

“I didn’t realize how many memories singing that would bring me. That whole time, all I saw in my head was a montage of the four of us practicing in Damien’s crappy little garage.” I heard Damien shout an offended ‘Hey!’ making me laugh out a sob.

“And to see all of you singing it. Dude. You guys knew the lyrics! I watched so many of you sing along to Cal’s part, and I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. And now I’m standing here, in front of so many of you, sobbing in a clown costume!” This made a lot of them laugh, but I saw a few people wiping their eyes, feeling the emotion I was pouring out in my speech. 

“Fuck, let me settle down and we can finish this, okay?” And they all cheered in response. 

I had just finished wiping off the makeup that had been ruined by my crying. The boys and I had an emotional chat after we got off stage, reminiscing on everything and discussing how to bring that love back into our future music. We may all have shed a few more tears, but after a big group hug, we went and got ready to meet some fans as the other band performed their set.

I had gotten a text from Dahlia earlier, apologizing for making me emotional, but I immediately shut it down and thanked her profusely for helping bring back so much nostalgia. 

We were now waiting for the other group to get ready for the small meet and greet. I had changed my outfit earlier, being so emotional making me want to be a little comfier. I still wanted to look good since fans might’ve wanted to take pictures, so I threw in a cute tank top with my cardigan over it and some shorts and fixed my makeup, putting on something more normal, so I wasn’t sitting here looking like a sad clown as I spoke with everyone. 

Matt led a few fans through once everyone came out, changed, and refreshed. They decided to do this in groups to make it easier on us, and I made sure to tell Matt to put Dahlia and Austin in the last group. 

The eight of us talked to a bunch of fans, signing anything they asked and taking a bunch of pictures. We chatted as much as we could, getting to share stories and answer any questions before the next group came through. This went on for a while, my hands getting a little tired from signing, but every new face that I saw, excited to meet me, made it all better. 

Finally, the last group was coming through, and I got a little too excited seeing Dahlia and Austin walk through the door. I did my best to stay in my spot and talk to the people that came before them, but once it was their turn, I squealed and pulled them both into a tight hug. 

“I missed you guys!” I confessed.

“You just saw us in the crowd an hour ago,” Austin laughed out.

“I don’t care. I was too excited to see you that I couldn’t wait any longer.” I said.

“I do have to say, I still am really sorry for requesting that song. I didn’t think it would be so emotional,” I just shook my head at Dahlia’s words.

“Watching the two of you sing along was enough of an apology as I need. That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m so happy you two love that song.” I gushed. Then I realized people were staring and remembered where I was. I turned to the group of boys in the room and rolled my eyes at myself, feeling dumb for forgetting. 

“Guys, this is Dahlia and Austin,” I introduced them, “Dahlia and Austin, this is guys!” I held my hand out like I was presenting something, making Dahlia laugh. 

They all introduced themselves personally, and I could see the two internally freaking out as they met everyone, and it was just adorable. Since they were the last two, I figured it was okay that they could stay for a while. 

We all hung out, chatting about anything that came to our minds. The couple told everyone how much they loved their music. We learned that Austin played the bass, so he, Cal, and Ruffilo hit it off pretty well. Dahlia and I chatted with Finn about things other than music, with others pitching their opinions at points. Overall, they became acquainted very well. 

The boys started talking about wanting to finally head back to their house, so we decided to cut the night short. We found out that Dahlia, Austin, and I were all staying at the same hotel, so we agreed that I could ride with them. Finn asked me many times if I was alright with him staying with the guys, and every single time, I responded that I wanted nothing more than a hotel room to myself. He eventually accepted my answer, and we started getting ready to head out. 

I grabbed all my shit from the tour bus that I needed for the week, apologizing to the couple for having so much stuff, but they repeatedly said that it was nothing, that they understood that I was quite literally living on a bus. Once I had all my important things in their car, I gave my boys a hug, telling them that I’ll text them that I was safe when I got there, I waved to the other group, and the three of us headed off to the hotel. 

Austin drove and Dahlia felt bad that I was stuck in the backseat by myself, so she sat with me. She was so sweet I couldn’t take it. I got to talk to Austin more, finally having the chance to speak to both of them privately, and it was really nice getting to know them and making new friends. At one point in the drive, Dahlia leaned over. 

“Okay, so this might not be my place to ask, and I’m so okay with you saying it’s private, but the gossip in me has to know because I was seeing some crazy signals tonight. What’s going on between you and Noah?” She whispered, almost like she didn’t want Austin to hear. I just laughed. 

“Honestly, I desperately needed a girl friend to gossip with, so I’m all for spilling the juicy deets as long as you both promise to keep it a secret.” She looked at me and immediately nodded, motioning like she was zipping her lips. 

We spent the rest of the ride gossiping. I told her almost everything that happened. I didn’t dive too deep into how long I liked him and the whole festival and magnetic attraction thing, but I told her how I had liked him for a while. I mentioned the ‘talk’ which made both of them laugh, I guess having been there before. Then I mentioned the night at the bar, to which they both gasped, and I just nodded. Austin helped give a lot of insight into what could be running through Noah’s head, which was nice. I never had anything against someone playing devil’s advocate, especially if it helps me gain perspective on a situation. But Dahlia took my side every step of the way, even saying some things Finn had said, which made me laugh. I know it was dumb of me to talk to people I met not too long ago about such juicy things, especially them initially being fans of both of our bands. Hell, I was dumb enough to even get in their car, but something in me told me that I could trust them.

We finally reached the hotel and unloaded everything. Austin was a sweetheart and helped carry some of my stuff, which I greatly appreciated. We continued our chats as we got our rooms set up, none of us fully able to pay attention or stop laughing at something one of us said. I didn’t want the night to end, and apparently neither did they. As we were heading towards the elevator, Dahlia stopped and asked if I wanted to head to their hotel room and continue the night, to which I obviously agreed. God, if I were in a horror movie right now, I’d for sure be dead, but fuck it, I’m having fun, and I really enjoy talking to them. 

I told them that I was going to get all my stuff into my room and then I’d meet them at theirs, and that’s where I was now, sitting in their hotel room as we just cackled the night away. I had sneakily stopped at the front desk before heading to their room and got them to switch everything of theirs to my card, and ordered some sparkling wine to be sent up as room service. I just felt so bad; they had to get this hotel room last minute, it being the only option left that was close enough to the venue, and it was quite pricey. I already felt like I was intruding on what could’ve been a beautiful date for them, so I still wanted to make their night the best it could be. 

Room service eventually came with the wine, and they still didn’t catch on to what I had done, so I was leaving it to be a secret for the morning. We just sat around the room, sipping wine and talking about anything. Dahlia truly felt like the girl friend I always wanted. Hell, the one I needed. Finn was an amazing friend, always there for me, and the best friend that I could ask for, but he was still a man. And that came with so many frustrations that wouldn’t happen with Dahlia. 

We learned so much about each other as the night went on and the drunker we got. I learned that they met at a concert in college, bonding over their music taste, and even while they were still friends, they made concerts their tradition to do together. They tried finding as many bands as they could, always wanting to expand their music taste, and that’s how they found Praising Deities when we were still a small band. Apparently, this was the first tour they could actually make it to since it was our largest one, and they were ecstatic that it was with another band they both liked. It’s crazy how life works out sometimes. 

I told them the band’s history and answered any other questions they had. Some were even super fangirly, but I would just laugh and answer anyway, knowing exactly how it was. I mean, the boys and I were literally touring with a band that we had been fans of for years, so it didn't affect me that I was becoming friends with people who were fans of me for years.

I woke up and looked around the room, confused. I went to sit up and realized I had fallen asleep on a hotel chair. Looking around the room, I see Austin awake, on his phone, and Dahlia passed out next to him. I don’t even remember falling asleep, but it must have been late because Dahlia and I were up long after Austin fell asleep. 

I yawn and stretch, feeling a soreness in my neck from the uncomfortable sleeping position I was in. Austin looked over at me, and I just laughed out a ‘good morning,’ knowing I probably looked like a mess. 

“What time is it?” I quietly asked him, not wanting to wake Dahlia. 

“Almost ten. We should probably start packing up soon, but I figured you two stayed up late, so I was gonna wait for you two to wake up,” He replied, getting up to start getting everything ready. They really didn’t unpack last night, only to change into pajamas and brush their teeth. That’s when I realized I was still in my outfit from last night, which made me chuckle a little. 

I walked into their bathroom to make sure I looked sane. Thankfully, my makeup was practically unscathed, mainly because I redid so late last night and then slept on a goddamn chair, but my hair was a mess. I really need to start washing my makeup off before I sleep. My skin probably hates me. I did what I could with my hands and a little water to smooth it out before heading back to where they were. 

Dahlia was now awake, and when we made eye contact, we just burst out laughing. The entire time we spent together was either talking or laughing, and it felt unbelievable to have such a good time. I felt like a normal human. I just had a sleepover with another girl, spending the whole night gossiping, giggling, and drinking. I don't want them to leave. But I do need to spend this break with a little time by myself, so maybe I can head down to see them sometime in the future because I’m really going to miss this.

“Okay, everything’s packed up. We cleaned up the mess we made last night. Uhhhh…” Dahlia trailed off, listing everything she had to do before they were ready to leave. All I could do was pout.

They had everything ready and I told them I’d walk them down, wanting to spend as much time with them as possible, but it was also so I could be there to see their faces when they realized I paid for it all. 

We all stepped out of the elevator and walked to the front desk. Austin started talking to the worker, making sure everything was together so they could check out. 

“And all of that is going onto the card of Y/N Y/L/N, correct?” The receptionist asked. Austin went to correct him but paused and turned to me with a stunned look on his face. I just giggled before answering for them.

“Yes, that’s the one.” The receptionist nodded, and I walked forward, giving them any information they needed. He handed me the paper with all the information on it, and I took it with a smile. They both had the most shocked look that I couldn’t hold back my laughter.

“How did you..?” Dahlia started.

“Before I came to your room last night.”

“And all that champagne..” Austin continued.

“It was easier to get room service to your room if I just added my card to your room,” I shrugged like it was nothing.

“You little shit,” Dahlia said before pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back tight as I giggled. 

“You guys made yesterday such a good day for me, and I felt so bad for intruding on what should’ve been a cute night for you two, so I had to give you a gift in return.”

“But the tickets!” She said.

“Those ended up being free. So I knew I still had to do something.” 

“I swear if we get back home and there’s a new car or a goddamn pony in our driveway, I’m gonna kick your ass,” Austin joked. I just shook my head and laughed. 

“This is the end of my gifts for now. But I am really gonna miss you guys, so I’ll let you know when we have another break on tour, and I’ll make plans to come see you, okay?” They agreed, and we all hugged one last time. Then, I remembered something.

“Hold on. I need something to remember this.” I said. I walked over to the receptionist and sweetly asked him if he could take a picture of us, to which he happily agreed. I pulled the two of them away from their luggage and wrapped my arms around them, posing in front of the receptionist who held my phone, and we all smiled for the picture. I looked at them when I got my phone back and smiled. 

“I’m gonna send these to you. Gloat to your friends that you just became besties with a rockstar,” I joked to Dahlia. She laughed, and we all had one last group hug before I watched them walk out the hotel doors, waving until they were out of sight. 

A while later, I was lying in bed, playing on my phone, and taking in the fact that I finally had privacy for the first time in forever. It was amazing. I had music playing on the T.V. on a low volume, humming along as I just soaked in the peace of not having to deal with giant man babies. 

Fuck. Now I was worried about my giant man babies. I assumed they had fun last night or all just passed out the second they got there. I wonder what they were doing today? The party wasn’t until tomorrow night. Shit, the party. Do I even want to go…? Okay, but if I don’t, I won’t see the boys for a few days because I know they're going to be hung over the next day. And the last thing I want to do is go over there just to hang out. It feels weird going to their house- Noah’s house. But the party would be different. There will be so many people that I’ll forget whose house I’m at..right? 

I don’t even have a good costume planned, and I love going all out for halloween. But do I even want to go? Should I go costume shopping just in case I make up my mind at the last minute? I let out a groan. Of course, my thoughts take over the first time I have peace and quiet. I roll over with a groan, pulling up messages and sending a text to Finn. 

Y/N- Wanna go costume shopping with me?

I set my phone down and just lay there, waiting for a response. It took a few minutes, and, of course, I went back into overthinking everything, but eventually, my phone chimes, bringing me out of it. 

Finnegan- Sorry love. We’re all playing a drinking game right now, and I am not in any way fit to be in the public eye.

Finnegan- You could come and join us? We can go shopping tomorrow? 

Y/N- No, it’s okay. You have fun with everyone. I love you❤️ Keep yourself and the boys safe.

Finnegan- love you too❤️ no promises!

I roll my eyes and giggle. Well, maybe I’m going to have to go alone. I started searching for places that sold last-minute costumes when I remembered Matt could be free. I quickly send him a text.

Y/N- Are you busy? Or can you join me to go costume shopping?

Within a minute, he responded.

Matty- Grabbing my keys now. I was watching over the guys just in case one of these idiots needed a hospital, but they know how to work a phone to call 911

I laughed at his text and stood up to start getting dressed. I showered earlier, so I just needed to change and maybe throw on some makeup. I texted Matt which hotel I was at and quickly tossed on a comfy shirt and shorts. I did light makeup, pulled my hair up, grabbed my phone and wallet, and headed downstairs to wait for him.

I just finished getting ready. I have to head over to the boys’ house early to do Matt’s makeup after I spent the entire shopping trip yesterday having to convince him to even dress up. He finally agreed after we bickered for an hour, once I asked if I could at least just do some simple makeup, but he still hasn’t told me what he wanted to go as. 

I felt so good. There was almost nothing in that ransacked Spirit Halloween when Matt and I went yesterday, but I managed to find a Ghost Face mask and immediately knew what I could do. Smoothing my dress out one last time, I decided to post a picture of my costume, wanting to show off how good I looked.

I grabbed my phone, wallet, and makeup bag and removed my mask to hold it before heading down to wait for my Uber. 

Part Six

[voidcat-senket]

Ohhhh perhaps spyscrapper for 38? On the kiss prompt list??

38. ...running out of time Bode’s breathing is heavy, loud, fast. Full, billowing breaths he can’t seem to slow down. He’s teetering at the edge of a breakdown. He’s been teetering at the edge of a breakdown for weeks, but it’s really here now, no longer a fantom haunting his shadow but reality, inhabiting his body, making his fingers numb and his heart race.

It’s not the edge. He’s falling off. The comm is in his hand, his finger hovers over the button, and he has to make the call. If he doesn’t make the call today, the Empire won’t be here tomorrow, the Archive and the Path will move to Tanalorr and it will be ruined.

Exposed. Unsafe. And he’ll have lost his last, his first, chance-hope-dream. The first breath of fresh air he’s had in. Four years? Is that it, four years? Four years with his leash getting shorter and his collar getting tighter, tighter, tighter, sold to the only bidder for a golden cage for his little girl that will become an iron trap if he so much as misses two check-ins in a row?

He’s lurking in the corner but he needs to go outside so he can fall into pieces privately. But. Cal and Merrin are still out there, aren’t they? He wants to beg Cal to make a different choice, get on his knees and cry, but if he does then… his desperation won’t make any sense, after Cal already reassured him. After Cal thought he did and ripped the rest of Bode’s meager hope to pieces instead. If he does, all his secrets will spill out. If he does, even this meager, desperate last chance where he loses everything but Kata will disappear. Cal doesn’t forgive betrayal- not if it comes from the Empire.

And Bode is part of the Empire, no matter how he feels about it. He sold himself.

Death followed him long before that.

The next exhale sounds too wretchedly close to a dry sob for his liking, and he clamps a hand over his mouth, doubled over, a steadying arm against the wall. His vision swims and darkens, his nostrils bellowing with each panicked breath. A hand presses to his shoulder. His back all but slams against the wall as he yanks himself away. Cal’s hands lift up, held out by Cal’s shoulders, as the redhead takes a step back. “Sorry! I was calling your name but I don’t think you heard me.”

Bode didn’t hear anything. Not a thing. What was he thinking? Doing? He wasn’t thinking that was the problem. Cal must see something in his face, because he steps forward again, frowning, concerned. He reaches out again but slowly, his hands gently framing Bode’s shaking shoulders before curling around his upper arms. “Bode, it’s okay. Breathe with me. Let’s just calm down, and then we can talk, get you some water maybe. Okay?” Bode clenches his teeth together, presses harder into the wall. “Bode, hey. Hey. We’re fine, okay?” A damnable smile blooms, Cal’s green eyes sparking warm, the man reaching out for him in the Force, wrapping him up in Cal’s fiery presence like a reassuring blanket, and Cal says: “tomorrow we’ll move and we’ll all be safe and everything will be alright.” Bode’s breath stops. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting, and his insides are all ashes. His hand shakes as it falls from his mouth and he can’t see Cal for the tears falling from his eyes.

Cal, kriffing Cal. Why did Bode have to fall for him? An idealist. A man who can’t see danger staring him in the face. Who can’t listen to the reasonable voices around him, and yet who is so good that they can’t help but let him lead over and over again.

Cal only scoots closer, cradling Bode’s face between his hands and pressing their foreheads together. “I’ve got you. Breathe with me. We Jedi,” Cal jokes, trying to ease the moment, “we’re really good at breathing, you know.” Kriffing Cal. Bode wants years with him. A lifetime.

“I’m s-sorry,” he whimpers, gripping the sleeves of Cal’s jacket. He gets tonight, and then nothing. Nothing after that. Never. There’s no more time.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.”

Cal will change his mind tomorrow. He’ll understand tomorrow. They’re over, tomorrow.

Bode turns his head. His lips press into the heat of Cal’s palm, mark it with his sorrow.

This is their first and last time.

There’s nothing inside him he’s allowed to give. Nothing worthy of Cal

[diazheartsbuckley]

WIP Wednesday ✨

Look at me posting two days in a row 🔥 This is another bit of the insomnia fic that I wanted to share with you guys 🤭

Read the previous snippet(s) here 💕 They aren’t in order or anything, I’m just sharing what feels right 🫶

Every night since then, he had laid awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling as if the walls of the well were collapsing all around him again.

He tries to tell himself that it doesn’t matter, that he’ll be able to shake it off eventually. And he has to be strong for Christopher right now, so he doesn’t have time to be feeling like this. In the past week, he had maybe gotten a total of 12 hours of sleep, if even that, unable to find rest in his body.

At work, life goes on as usual, with everyone cracking jokes and teasing each other to no end. It’s like what happened to him didn’t actually happen. Or well, they all express concern for him and he says that he’s fine. Because he is fine. He didn’t get injured and he didn’t die, which makes him perfectly fine. Buck has been over a few times during the week, eating dinner with him and Christopher, clearly more worried than the rest of the crew. Eddie had noticed the crease between Buck’s brows deepening when he explained what had happened with Christopher. It wasn’t new that Christopher got nightmares, not after Shannon and the tsunami but it had gotten better. Right up until Eddie almost died in a fucking well.

As he puts Christopher to bed, he considers asking if he can lay in the bed with him but then stops himself. He doesn’t want Christopher to think that something is wrong. Eddie is well aware of how he wakes up during the night, beads of sweat running down his forehead and his shirt clinging to his back, his mouth dry and his breath heaving as he looks around the darkness of his bedroom.

Instead, he settles for laying down on the couch, the tv muted as he finds some random show to watch.

The flickering on the screen seems to ease his mind, keeping the empty abyss of the well away. For the first time since it happened, he is able to fall asleep within minutes but it’s a restless sleep and he wakes up with a gasp, suddenly alone in the darkness again. He clutches onto his shirt, air struggling to make its way into his lungs as he scrambles for his phone, needing just a hint of light. The heavy thud of his phone landing on the floor next to him reverberates in his head and he can’t focus, can’t remember what he was doing as he crawls onto the floor, hands scrambling in the dark.

They start to feel cold, tingling and almost numb. Eddie knocks his head back against the couch, trying to ground himself.

I’m not down there anymore.

I’m at home.

I’m safe.

I made it.

Tagged by @bidisasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @bucksbignaturals @cal-daisies-and-briars @daffi-990 and @diazsdimples 🥰

Tagging!! @honestlydarkprincess @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @theotherbuckley @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @butraura @puppyboybuckley @evanbegins @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @namjroon @nmcggg @jesuisici33 @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @devirnis @bucksbirthmark @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @exhuastedpigeon @kaseysgirl86-blog @poughkeepsies @watchyourbuck @dangerpronebuddie @elvensorceress @jeeyuns 🦋🩵

Tagged for reader @coatedpanda16 ✨

[little-paperboat]

i burned my fingers on this forbidden fire (4)

Gooood morning, chapter 4 of forbidden fire is up and running! :D

It's very nice to come back to this story after taking a little Arcane detour and challenging my writing a little bit, I missed Tav and her adventures 🤍 I'm aware that the overall story is a little slow to start and take off, but it *is* a slow-burn and I really wanted to spend time building the scene. I'm quite satisfied with it now, so let me tell you, I'm very excited for what's to come!

In this chapter, Tav spends time with Cal (and Lia), engages in a new activity (that I'm sure is more fulfilling in a fantasy world than irl), and is told a little secret. Start of the chapter below the cut!

As usual, thank you so much for reading, kudoing, commenting - I'm super grateful for all the love you're giving to this story ❤️

By the time she approached the Sundries, Tav barely felt any better, torn between the anxiety of letting go of the only tangible thing that she had and the resentment that budded in her chest. 

She’d been almost too kind to Ravengard - she should’ve cursed him to the Nine Hells and back, but was too taken by the moment to register his barely hidden insults. How dared he imply that she had things handed out to her constantly? That she didn’t work for her accomplishments? That was preposterous. Absurd. And even if she was willing to entertain the idea that it had maybe once been true, everything that happened in the past year would’ve largely made up for it. She almost died a thousand deaths and took countless risks to save his life out of loyalty for his son, but he still had the gall to treat her like a spoiled child. 

What a joke.

Her steps slowed down when she passed the fountain facing the shop, and stopped altogether at the threshold. Grounding herself, Tav took a deep breath. Would calming her nerves before entering Sorcerous Sundries become a habit? She hoped not. 

Still, it felt odd to come back here in broad daylight. The sky’s colours had changed, and she knew that the Sundries had been rebuilt somewhat differently, but she remembered all too well the last time she came here during the day, her companions in tow, about to take one last shopping trip before the end of the world.

Rolan had been busy at the counter but still made time for them, giving them discounted items and invaluable scrolls. Tav had been uncharacteristically quiet then, unsure how to act after hugging him so spontaneously mere minutes after his master’s demise. 

Not for the first time, she’d made the situation awkward. But he had declared them friends, and that was what friends did, right? A hug was supposed to be socially acceptable - even by someone as prickly as Rolan. 

Even now, the memories of that moment came to her easily, having nested themselves deep into her mind - deeper than she’d like to admit. Her fingers held on to that feeling; the thinness of his frame under her fingertips and the warmth of his body against hers, chest heaving, still reeling from the fight. Breaking the hug, her eyes had caught the crimson flush staining his neck, the surprise shining on his handsome face before it vanished as quickly. 

They’d left before Rolan could properly react, and after that, he never brought it up again. And why would he? At the end of the world, why would that change anything? Not once had he returned her tentative flirting or her light touches. Evidently, whatever she thought she once saw was just a sad, sad illusion conjured by the mad desires of her own loneliness. 

The fact that she maybe, possibly, still harboured those feelings made it all the more pathetic - but she refused to dwell on it. Whatever she felt was in the past; and while Rolan didn’t seem to despise her anymore, he remained draped in a friendly indifference. What else could she call three whole tendays of silence?

She shook her head and with it, any ill-timed longing; focusing back on the present and her current misery. 

Maybe she could buy a scroll to send herself into a new dimension… permanently.

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

if you liked it, you also can follow the tag “series:forbidden fire” here on tumblr to not miss any updates :)

(c) divider by @/saradika

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 30th-November 5th 2023

I really need to get back into the habit of making these every Sunday! But at least this time I didn't skip a week! :P

Complete

stickwitu. by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Canon Divergent, PWP | 38K | Explicit): “Did you just call me daddy?" Or: Three times Buck fights his daddy kink + the one time it slips out anyway. (sequel to 🔥 stupid people.)

mona lisa by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (PWP | 5K | Explicit): or: eddie makes buck's dreams come true

hits like ecstasy by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (PWP, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): or: eddie starts complimenting buck...a lot. surely he has no ulterior motive.

this time between by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): or: buck and eddie get trapped in an elevator

tender we fall by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Shooting | 4K | Teen): Or: Buck starts telling Eddie he loves him. Like, all the time.

one hundred ninety seven seconds by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Coma | 2K | Teen): Eddie is finding increasingly convoluted excuses to be in the kitchen late at night. or: in the aftermath of the lightning strike, eddie copes.

what if one of these days i go and change your name by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do) / @lover-of-mine (Post-S6, Established Buddie | 2K | General): Buck runs into a fire while off-duty, Eddie gives him his turnout once the 118 responds, then proceeded to spiral about how he wants to marry Buck.

kiss and make up by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Instead of being soft and sweet or adrenaline fueled and filled with love and thanks that they're both alive, their first kiss comes in the middle of a fight in Eddie’s living room.

blackout by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Buck wakes up hungover on Eddie's couch, with no memory of the night before. Eddie's at just as much of a loss as he is, but their friends seem to know something they don't.

🔥 like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

i want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me by scarcrossedbuck (cryptidNick) (Getting Together | 11K | Explicit): or: Buck drunk calls Eddie to confess his love anonymously. Eddie doesn't hear it. Buck struggles with his feelings.

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head by Underhung_Aura (Getting Together, Post-Lightning | 8K | General): Eddie comes out to Buck, receives a quirky mug, and gets together with the love of his life. In that order.

i'll come tackle the monsters by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck has a nightmare and they talk about the shooting.

Homefield Disadvantage by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie | 2K | Teen): Buck is recovering from appendicitis. Christopher has an important school project. Eddie faces danger on the job. They are a family, your honor. That is all.

come close, let me be home by Daffi_990_ao3 / @daffi-990(Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 4K | Not Rated): Buck and Eddie slow dance at Maddie and Chim’s wedding

baby, say you'll always keep me by hattalove (Getting Together, Post-Season 4 | 8K | Teen): or the one in which joking about being married to your best friend is all fun and games, right up until you realize that you're not laughing.

WIP

🔥 and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future fic, Married Buddie | 1/3 | 11K | Teen): Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 6/? | 11K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 97/? | 250K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Re-Read

growing sideways by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | General): or: chris gets buck a father's day present.

🔥 i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove/ @hattalove (S4, Post-Buck Begins | 32K | Teen): or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

[finniestoncrane]

Indulgences

BTAA!Scarecrow x Female!Reader, word count: 4k commission: jonathan crane and secretary!reader give in to their mutual desires, which reader needs to be encouraged to partake in 🎃🧡 commission me here! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: daddy kink, oral sex, rough sex, persistent behaviour

At least I don’t have to walk through any alleys. At least I get to stick to the busier streets, the nicer neighbourhoods. There’s an artisanal coffee shop on the way, not many people can say that. It’s fine, this is luck. You’re lucky to have this job. You’re lucky to have any job, really. But this one is perfect. It’s fine. You can do it. He doesn’t have any power over you. He’s your employer. He’s your boss. Yeah, he’s Jonathan Crane, but that doesn’t automatically give him a one-up. He likes you just as much as… it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you will not give in to this temptation.

Each morning, as you took the short trip to work from your apartment, you had to give yourself a pep talk. A reminder that this was worth it, in the long run. That you would be foolish, and quite frankly almost ignorant, to give up the comfort you managed to find, in Gotham of all places, because of some uncontrolled emotions. You had a job that provided enough money for you to afford a nice apartment in a nice area, that challenged you, but not too much, and brought you a genuine sense of value and worth. But it did mean you were exposed, almost daily, to the difficult charms of Jonathan Crane.

Working with Jonathan was a blessing and a curse. The security of employment with a reputable, at least society facing, psychologist was something that was rare in Gotham. Add to that the element of safety in being employed by one of the city’s more venerable and amicable villains, there was limited risk of being caught in the crossfire, unlike the employees of Sionis or Cobblepot. And he clearly trusted you, as he hadn’t been shy in telling you of his criminal escapades, his alter ego as The Scarecrow. In fact, you’d only been working with him for a month before he took you into his office and revealed the secret.

You supposed for someone like Jonathan, if he’d sensed even the slightest hint that you might not be one to trust, he would just have you killed. You’d thought as much at the time, as you stood, heart racing, swallowing your fear in your closed throat, sweat beading on your forehead. But the fear you had shown, it seemed to comfort him. Very on brand for that strange, yet deeply interesting, man.

Realising how silly you sounded, as you tried to quantify all of the thoughts in your mind, you stopped on the street corner across from the building which housed his office. You liked him. You really liked him. But it felt like a risk, or a mistake. Something about it seemed to suggest to you that it would only end in tears, or worse, in your demise. And it was this contradiction, this predicament, which made it so difficult for you to show up to work each day. Only worsened by the fact that you had begun to suspect that Jonathan had similar feelings for you.

He had always been flirtatious, part of his charm you guessed. He was like that with everyone. Little jokes, a lingering touch on the arm or the lower back. He’d frighten people, speaking soft and low, making them get closer to him before giving them a little jolt of fear. It usually had them giggling, sweating, confused. On several occasions he’d pointed that out to you, the line between fear and arousal. It all had to do with adrenaline, he’d say. And he was very right about that.

As you entered the office, you took your place at the desk in the waiting room. Checking the calendar, you realised it would be another two hours before the first patient arrived for their appointment. That gave you plenty of time to get comfortable and settled. But just as you began to repeat your affirmations, taking your slow, long breaths in a bid to calm your body, Jonathan entered.

“Ah, you’ve here. Always there to brighten my morning, huh?”

“Jonathan, lovely to see you. I’ve left coffee on your desk.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest. Why don’t you come in and join me?”

“Is that… mandatory? Or work-related?”

Jonathan offered you a wry smile as he looked you up and down, scrutinising you.

“Would that make a difference? C’mon, we’re all friends here, right?”

You swallowed your nerves at his wink, trying to maintain your composure, the control you still had over the situation.

“I suspect that this might be more than a friendly discussion, Crane.”

“Oh! I do love it when you’re feisty in the morning.”

He walked into his office, still speaking to you.

“If you feel like joining me, make sure to bring that snarky attitude with you. Drives me crazy.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, picking up a pen and twirling it as you absent-mindedly stared at the wall in front of you. With an irritated mumble, you got up form your desk and followed Jonathan into his office, standing against the closed door and staring at him with your arms folded.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“I’m here now, what do you want with me?”

Jonathan let out a dry chuckle, as his pupils widened, staring at you from his desk.

“Oh, bit of a dangerous question, don’t you think? I could do a lot of psychoanalysing on that. The phrasing, the way you’re standing, the words you chose, the slight implied innuendo despite your obvious attempts to seem uninterested. All of it, very telling indeed.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know so. Why don’t you take a seat?”

“I’d rather stand, thanks.”

“A contrarian, through and through.”

“I’m really not.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, smiling wide as you proved his point. It infuriated you to no end that despite as hard as you tried to gain the upper-hand, he was always one-step above you.

“Fine, I’ll take a seat.”

You chose the softer of the two armchairs that faced his desk, avoiding eye contact with him until it was impossible to ignore the silence any longer. When you looked up to him, he caught your eyes, staring into them intensely. His stare held you, it was almost hypnotic. He was a commanding presence in your life, and you hated that as much as you enjoyed it. In moments like these it was difficult not to give in to your temptations. To succumb to the harmless but persistent flirting. To accept that you had a crush. Maybe get it out of your system even. But you sensed that someone like Jonathan Crane wasn’t up for being quickly used and discarded. He had to conquer his love interests, and you were determined not to let that be the case, despite how he made your heart beat faster and your body tremble with just a few innocent enough words.

From the drawer on his side of the desk, Jonathan produced a folder marked confidential, with your name on a label on the top right hand corner. He thumbed through the pages in silence as you sat nervously. You wondered what it could be. A dossier of reasons that he wanted to kill you? Or reasons he wanted to sleep with you? It could have been anything with him, and the anticipation only served to help you conjure up more fanatical and nerve-wracking theories.

Reading from the pages, he made an occasional soft noise, a small ‘hm’ or an ‘ah’ as he took in the information. Eventually, you grew more irritated than you were nervous, and coughed, clearing your throat obviously in the hopes that he would get whatever he intended to do over with.

Without looking to you, eyes remaining on the pages as he scanned them from top to bottom, reading whatever words were so intensely interesting to him, he finally.

“So… would you like a performance review?”

“A... a performance review? Are you kidding me?”

“No, why would I be?”

“That’s what you called me in here for?”

Jon smiled wryly as he peered over the top of the folder he held in his hands.

“Partly. I thought it would be a good idea to kill two birds with one stone. I love that phrase, don’t you? Such violent imagery. It conjures up such a guttural feeling. So… connected to our ancestry, and yet the convenience of modern life is hinted at to-”

“Jonathan. I have a job to do.”

“Uh-huh, and who provides you with that employment?”

Leaning back in your chair in slight disbelief, you narrowed your eyes at him as you spoke.

“Are you threatening me, Mister Crane?”

“Not at all, sugar. I’m simply… reinforcing the status quo here. The hierarchy. The way that our… relationship works. You’re my employee, after all. And I’m your boss, correct?”

With a scrutinising glance you tried to figure out what he was getting at, but couldn’t make it past his cool exterior.

“As technical as you can get, yes.”

“And yet, we’re also friends, are we not?”

“I suppose so.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, feeling deeply complimented by the suggestion.

“You’re my employee, and my friend. But perhaps… maybe… I would like you to be a little more than that.”

“More…?”

“Oh, come on. As if you can’t see it, as if you don’t want the same things I do. As if we aren’t already something a little bit more than that.”

Trying to contain your smile, you feigned innocence, or ignorance, and looked up and to the right, as though you were trying to think of what he might be suggesting.

“Listen… we flirt. Constantly. I can see it, you can see it. Everyone can see it. I have clients who are so unaware that they don’t even recognise their mother is to blame for their issues, and even they can see it.”

“You talk about me with clients?”

“That’s besides the point. Look. We work great together.”

“Yes, in the same office.”

“Not like that, you know what I mean. You and I, we gel. We get on, we have a connection. I think we’d make an excellent pair, don’t you?”

Jonathan had stood up from his seat as he spoke, walking around the desk and stopping in front of it, where he leaned in repose on the surface when he had finished his argument in the little debate you two were caught up in.

“I want people to see us together, more obviously than they do now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want them to see you with me. I want them to know who you’re with.”

You kept your face still, not wanting to give anything away, but desperately wanting to scream at the concept he was offering you. You didn’t want to be owned by Jonathan, you didn’t want to make a big thing out of whatever you two might have. It seemed that he wanted the opposite though, and admittedly, his determination to have you, to possess you, like a trophy he could show off, was deeply intriguing and more than a little arousing.

“In a sense that…”

“In a sense that they wouldn’t dare try anything with you, because they knew who you belonged to.”

Trying to maintain your air of composure, your dignity in the face of potential ownership, you tilted your head and stared him down with an unamused look.

“Belonged to? So I not only work for you, but I’d be your property too? Sounds… unpleasant actually, Jon.”

He stood up from the desk and moved closer to you, his stance commanding, charisma oozing from his very being, his voice trance-like as he spoke to you so directly and convincingly.

“Come on now. We’re both intelligent people. We both know what’s going on here, what’s going on between us. It would be so easy to just admit it and let it happen. I don’t have a human resources department, so there’s no one to get on our case. What is it that you’re so worried about? What makes you so hesitant?”

He had answered his own question, really. Jonathan was so deeply, intensely interested in you, in everyone. He could learn more about you from the way you lifted a coffee cup than most people could in a decade of spending time with you. You could only imagine what information he might glean from fucking you. And then where would you be? You’d be employed by a psychotic psychiatrist who knew everything about you, that’s where. Only in Gotham.

“Just let go. Let yourself give in to pleasure. I promise, I’ll make it worth the risk of this little dalliance.”

His smug grin, pressed into his cheeks so firmly that it accentuated the wrinkles around his eyes had your chest heaving as you breathed heavily. You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. It was tempting, so tempting. And though you were reluctant to give in to the feelings you held for him, it was deeply flattering, and very encouraging, to see him outwardly express those same desires.

It couldn’t possibly be as bad as I think it will be. I want this. I need this, I think. It’s gone beyond just a silly workplace crush, with witty remarks and back and forth flirtatious teasing. This is… something deeper now. And the longer I hold off, the worse it’s going to get. Perhaps it would be better to just get this out of my system. Do it now and get it over with. And then I’ll-

You were pulled out of your thoughts, ruminations and worries swirling at the forefront of your mind, by the feeling of Jonathan’s lips on yours, his hands holding your upper arms to keep you steady. The grip, forceful but deeply romantic, held within it the exact amount of passion, it turned out, to have you falling into him. Melting into the embrace, you wrapped your arms around his, feeling your leg beginning to snake up the back of his pants. He gripped it, fingers digging into your thighs and bringing it higher, around his waist, as he stepped forward, pushing you, stumbling, back into the wall where he deepened the kiss.

Biting, licking, sucking at your lips, Jonathan moaned hungrily against you. You yelped as he bit a little too hard, and he pulled back quickly, soothing over your bottom lip with his thumb and offering an apologetic smile.

“I’ve wanted this for a while. You’ve held out on me. So I apologise if I’m a bit… rough.”

His eyes moved from yours and began mapping out your body, taking in every inch of you.

“It’s been very difficult to watch you, a free agent, outside of my will.”

You scoffed, but took a sharp inhale as he stared into your eyes again, smiling at you, wry and mischievous.

“You’re so dead set on not indulging me. Why is that?”

Trying to avoid his intense gaze, you turned your face, but with a soft motion he brought you back around with his palm on your cheek.

“Is it because you’re ashamed of how much you want that? It’s ok to want to be wanted. It’s completely normal to want to be owned. I should know, I’m a psychologist, remember.”

He let his fingers trace down your throat, following their trail with his tongue as he made his way down your front with kisses, planting them softly, his breath warm against you, as he got to his knees before you, resting his face against your abdomen as he ran his hands up and down your sides.

“Every curve.”

His hands pressed into you, grabbing and squeezing at your body, your waist, your hips. As he let them reach behind you, cupping your ass, you let out of a soft noise, which made him smile.

“Every moan.”

You giggled as he made his way back up your body, bringing his hands to your face, fingers skating over your lips, making you shiver at the touch.

“And indeed, every quiver. They belong to me. And only me. Understand?”

Completely entranced by the way he held you, you nodded slowly but with enthusiasm.

Smiling at you, a grin that made your blood run cold, he leaned in to whisper into your ear once more.

“Then would you kindly lay down on my desk, please. And remove all the clothes on your bottom half first.”

As you stepped past him, pulling at your clothes in a hurry to get them off, his palm caught your rear, smacking the cheek and bringing forth an amused yelp and giggle from you. It made your cheeks flush, the way you had reacted. You hated how much you liked it. And he could tell, as he watched you lean back on the desk, bottom half completely nude and exposed. Running his palms up your thighs, past your stomach and to your neck, he loosened a few of the buttons on your shirt and kissed at your neck again.

Distracted by his moans and ministrations against your sensitive skin, you hadn’t even noticed he had removed his own pants and underwear until he was pressing his cock inside of you. You moaned, letting your breath out in a slow exhale as you smiled, unable to stop yourself. It felt amazing, better than you could have imagined or hoped. And you’d spent a lot of time hoping and imagining, though you wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone, even under threat of Jonathan’s fear inducing drugs.

Jonathan, enthused and encouraged by your reaction to his cock twitching and throbbing within you, began to rock his hips, pressing himself into you further, picking up the pace and grunting with each movement. At the angle you sat at, legs hanging over the edge of the desk, perched on your rear alone, he gripped your hips, holding you steady so he could push up into you, hitting the right spots as he did so. Occasionally, past the panting and guttural groans, you could hear him laughing. He was so smug, so proud of himself. So happy to be claiming you. The thought drove you wild, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, bringing him even closer to you.

As Jonathan continued to fill you, pumping his substantial length inside of your cunt, pressing his tip as far as he could, he clutched at your back, holding you tight, close to him. In lustful desperation, you gripped his hair, drawing his mouth to your neck, begging him silently to ravish you, kiss you, bite you, suck you, whatever he was willing to do for you. And luckily, his participation extended to all three, as his teeth clenched softly on your neck, nipping at it before his tongue flitted over the stinging pain and soothed it, his lips enclosing around you, sucking at the sensitive skin.

“Ooh… Jonathan…”

“Sorry, was that too hard?”

The faux mocking tone sent a tingle down your spine, and you clung to him tighter out of instinct.

“Just… just a little bit…”

He leaned back for a second to offer you a sham pout followed by a cruel smirk.

“My most sincere apologies, I just wanted to make sure you were marked.”

Diving back into your neck, he bit harder this time, lips covering over the stinging pain in a smooth kiss.

“I can’t have any doubts as to who you belong to.”

His teeth marked your flesh, imprints of his bite pattern across your neck, soft ovals of burst blood vessels where had sucked on you, definitely leaving enough of a trace that it was impossible to deny that someone had claimed you. The notion of being entirely his was getting easier and easier to submit to with every passing second, and you could barely contain yourself. It didn’t surprise you at all when you started whispering to him, your own mouth ahead of your brain as you exposed your secrets and begged to be his.

“If you want me, Jonathan, then you can have me. Take me, fill me.”

With a struggled grunt he forced himself deeper, an action you would have thought impossible, and you could feel your abdomen tightening with the pressure of his cock buried so fully within you.

“I want you to make me yours, Jonathan. Mark me, inside and out.”

Jonathan’s breathing quickened, his pace getting faster and less steady as he rutted clumsily against you, hips jutting forth to meet yours as they rocked into his body. His grunting had been reduced to a whimper, almost a whine, as he clung to your skin, holding you as he used you, appreciated you.

“What do you want from me? Tell me. Don’t be shy.”

“I want you to cum inside of me. Paint my fucking insides, Jonathan. I want to be yours. Fill me, take me, just… please, god please don’t let me lose a single drop.”

With a guttural laugh and another quick bite at your collar bone, Jonathan’s body shuddered as he shifted you back and forth in time with his own thrusting, cock twitching as he felt himself coming undone. His seed spilled in thick, white ropes within your cunt, spent entirely within you and holding himself inside, pressed tight against you, to keep as much of him there as possible. He lingered for a few moments longer, enjoying the warmth, the possessiveness over you. His fingers tensed as they clung to your body. He didn’t want this moment to end, and neither did you.

Finally, pulling himself from within you with a low moan, he sat back down on his office chair, holding his slicked cock in his hands as he felt it softening, finally spent and relieved of the tension he had been holding back, that you both had been holding back. He panted slightly until he had caught his breath, his age showing in the way he braced himself, trying to recover from the shaking orgasm that had all but consumed him entirely.

“There… phew… no doubts now, huh?”

You were standing, trying to straighten your clothes out as best as you could, feeling his cum dribbling down your inner thigh and coating your panties. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, knowing you belonged to him, feeling like you were still marked as his territory, his possession, even after he was no longer holding you physically. You had to admit that it was divine, something you had craved before but never would have let yourself admit to.

“Doubts? About what?”

Jonathan leant his head back, groaning in mock frustration before he snapped back down, eyes focused on your body, his gaze drawing up over you and back down as he took you in, still flushed and sweating, marked by his teeth and his fingers.

“Oh, sugar. Don’t be obtuse. It’s no use, I know you’re a sharp girl.”

Playing up, just to irritate him, you stared blankly with a slight frown. You shrugged your shoulders lightly and shook your head a little.

“You wanted that. I wanted that. And I continue to want that. As, I expect, do you. I think we can both feel the tension around us, around the office. So let’s not beat around the bush here!”

He laughed as he spoke in a lilting cadence, trying to seem casual. But you could sense the desperation in his words. And you finally felt like you had the upper-hand.

“We’ll see, Jonathan.”

You walked towards the door, turning as you opened it and stepped back into the hallway.

“We’ll see.”

Leaving him alone in his office, you returned to your desk with a wide grin on your lips. Finally, you felt like you could let yourself indulge in your desires. But not before you teased Jonathan a little longer. He deserved it, after all. And you deserved to feel in control, after everything you put up with from him. A little bit of sweet and sour in your relationship wasn’t anything new, but the method in which it was employed, a change in pace and hierarchy, it made you feel excited to come into work tomorrow.