#this is a remake from last year! in case you recognized it

[boykjng]

supernatural (2005-2020) / old yeller (1956)

inspired by x

[fatcatlittlebox]

It’s the interesting that we are going to see Sauron repeating “touch the darkness” to Galadriel. Before that, he says to Celebrimbor, “True creation requires sacrifice.” Words of wisdom twisted for sinister ends. And yet, the boy is listening. This is meaningful because even if it is said in mockery, something inside is resonating enough for him to remember. If this is the case, the greatest lesson Celebrimbor actually imparts upon him is that he, the Great Deceiver “can deceive even himself.” The truth hits home immediately and you can see Sauron is wounded by it. Celebrimbor doesn’t say this because he needs to have the final word. He says it because even in the end, he is driven by compassion. He is still trying to teach his student. I hope he absorbs those words. I hope they haunt him. Because if part of his story arc is the development of self-awareness that would be tragic. Right now he is the embodiment of a Lost Boy. No home, no one to trust and a moral code of his own invention. And the viewers see that at the very beginning of this season. He is adrift and desperate for direction and purpose.

At first glance, his journey has little to do with the Stranger. But there’s a reason the writers dropped misdirecting hints last season that the Stranger could be Sauron. The point is that he could be. Their stories are parallel. They are both Maiar. They are both lost when we meet them in this story. The difference is one has the grace of the Valar and the other has turned away from it. One was taught mercy and empathy. The other was taught cruelty and manipulation. Sauron is literally an amoral blob, alone and abandoned for thousands of years with only a distant light to turn to, that he follows but is always just beyond his reach. Contrast that with the Stranger. He is given the stars to guide him and on his journey, friends to show him the way.

Which isn’t to say Sauron doesn’t have his chance. He meets Diarmid. The Stranger finds Tom Bombadil. And it is Tom Bombadil who teaches the Stranger in no uncertain terms what his purpose is, what patience and humility mean. And when the Stranger asks old Tom how he may learn to “master” the Secret fire, that would have been a question Sauron would have had. But Tom sets him straight - there is no mastering it. He is a servant to it. When the Stranger asks to be taught to command the wind, the fire and the trees around him, old Tom tells him that all beings "belong each to themselves." This is a lesson Sauron never got or never understood.

With Diarmid, he calls him “friend.” He is advised to have hope, to “choose good.” Over and over. He had refused judgement of the Valar, but here he is already granted mercy. Sadly, he cannot recognize mercy because he was never taught it before. He cannot understand the path to remake himself, because he only comprehends reformation and renewal as being paid in death and pain. Sauron is left unsatisfied by Diarmid’s answers and so misses the point. The Valar are telling him that that is his purpose. That is his payment. Right then and there, his purpose is to choose good. Simply choose good. He hears it, but doesn’t learn. The meaning was right there, in front of him.

Which brings us back to Celebrimbor, who brings up choice again. He says Sauron chose to inflict the same pain upon him that Morgoth had wrought. Yet still Sauron doesn’t see. He insists that he never had a choice. But we know he always had. The lesson was there from the beginning. He did have a choice. He still has a choice. A servant and a pupil who cannot serve and cannot learn.

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

Hello and welcome to Day 15 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Today, I have a plot bunny that has been on and off in my brain for the last *checks notes* 3 years now. It is a crossover between Yokai Watch (the 3 main games; not the anime) and My Hero Academia. Why? Clearly, my brain likes crossovers with My Hero Academia way too much. *looks over at the other MHA crossovers and crack fics I have noted down* Yeah, my brain likes this wayyyyy too much. *sigh*

The title for this fic is: Crank-a-Hero. Get it? It's a combination of the Crack-A-Kai machine and the word Hero... (OK, inner-Cyno plz stop)

And, because clearly myself from 3 years ago was way more productive, I have the first two games already mapped out and with the number of chapters + titles for them too. (I WANT TO BE PRODUCTIVE AGAIN)

Because of this, I will go and explain the plot by referencing this list of chapters, and I will point out the chapters that are more interesting from a plot perspective

As you can see, book 1 (aka the remake of Yokai watch 1) is 30 chapters long. The story starts with an 11-year-old quirkless Izuku venturing deep into the woods after being dared by Katsuki and his friends to find and catch a bigger and cooler bug than them in their "Bug Catching Competition". Izuku ends up finding the Crank-a-Kai Machine in the woods that he was exploring and meets Whisper, his newly self-proclaimed Yokai Butler. Whisper introduces Izuku to the existence of Yokai, creatures that can not be seen by humans under normal circumstances, and to the invention known as the Yokai Watch, a wristwatch that can help you see Yokai.

And so Izuku’s adventure into the world of Yokai begins. In this fic, Izuku will make new friends (human and yokai) and slowly learn what friendship truly means. I wanna mention that Izuku will meet some of his future U.A. classmates in this. Because they will meet early, they become friends early and, in some cases, this might prove very favorable depending on how the 1st year at U.A. goes on.

The first future classmate Izuku befriends early is Tokoyami, whom Izuku meets in Chapter 5. Personally, I always felt like Dark Shadow would love Izuku to bits, and I feel like Izuku would help Tokoyami with Quirk control a lot since Izuku is smart. Coming up with a new control exercise for Tokoyami and Dark Shadow would take time, yes, but it won't be impossible to do.

The second one Izuku meets is Aoyama in chapter 10.... look, I was thinking about this fic before Aoyama's spy identity was revealed... buuut.... I am not opposed to Double Spy!Aoyama in this fic. You never know. Izuku is very perceptive, especially when it comes to his friends. So, this is very possible... also, Aoyama is just the type of person I can see losing their mother's ring in a pond, so there is the main motivation for this choice.

The third will be Shoto. They literally met on a train ride when Izuku goes to Inko's office (she is a lawyer in this) because Inko forgot some important documents in chapter 14. Izuku doesn't quite recognize Shoto as Endeavor's child, so when they start a conversation, Shoto has a surprisingly peasant time talking with Izuku. Even after Shoto introduces himself, Izuku just behaves like Shoto is a normal person (which he is) and not like he is some new upcoming hero because of his father. Izuku even asks if Shoto wants to be a hero instead of assuming it; all in all, their first meeting is sweet, and they do become friends too.

The last future classmate Izuku meets is Kaminari in chapter 20. How did they meet, you ask? Why, it was a school visit to the museum, of course. Both of their schools had a visit at the same museum on the same day. And these two met there. Honestly, I do think if they met early, they would be fast friends too. So yeah, that is kinda all for meetings in the 1st book.

(And yes, Lucas goes to Izuku's middle school, but Lucas is not in Izuku’s class)

Also, the final chapter takes place on Izuku's birthday because I want these 4 to be like, "I am gonna surprise Midoriya on his birthday," and they met on the train to Musutafu. They also become friends with each other that way too.

And now, we move onwards to Book 2 (aka the Yokai Watch 2 rewrite):

This book takes place in the next year after book 1.

The first chapter I wanna point out for you guys is chapter 7 because that is the chapter where Katsuki says the (infamous) line: "Go and take a dive off the roof and pray you get a Quirk in your next life". In this version of events, however, Katsuki says this line one year early (they are both at the end of their 2nd year of middle school here) and thus, Izuku doesn't met All Might or the Sludge Villain. Instead, Izuku, after one year of having good friends - both humans and yokai - decides to let Katsuki win this one. Izuku finally stands up for himself and tells Katsuki that if he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore, then fine, they are not friends anymore and leaves. Inko, seeing Izuku upset, thinks maybe a change of scenery will do him good and asks Izuku if he wants to go to his grandparents' place (and yes, Yakumo Village is a reference to Izuku’s early design being called Yakumo). Izuku accepts and invites Shoto to go with him since apparently their grandparents from their fathers' side reside in Yakumo Village. Shoto ends up being introduced to the Yokai World because of Hovernyan. Also, no one told Katsuki that Izuku is at his grandparents' house... so there is a ton of guilt with Katsuki here. (Don't worry, by the time U.A. rolls around Katsuki will be a bit better in anger management than in canon; it's a start at least)

Now, chapter 19 is a bit more related to the One for All plot because... well, everything is possible in time travel. And it's even worse if the time travel malfunctions for a bit, sending you into the older-than-60-years-ago past. This is all I can say without outright spoiling everything.

The last chapter of interest here is chapter 25... If you watched/read the Sports Festival Arc from My Hero Academia, you know what this chapter entails. But the line might not come only from whom you expect it to.

Chapters 29 and 30 are recaps and a bit of a setup for the plot of Yokai Watch 3. I have yet to finish the Yokai Watch 3 chapter list, mostly because in Yokai Watch 3, we have split story lines, and Shoto becomes the 2nd protagonist there. So the planning kinda confuses me a bit, but I will update this post when I actually finish book 3.

Other things I wanna mention:

This is definitely a slow burn TodoDeku fic. They will be getting together later in the story, but for book 1-3, they are kids, and they should remain kids. Their relationship might advance after the 1st year at UA.

Izuku doesn't quite get a Quirk in this, but I want him to befriend Yokai and for his watch to be able (at one point during or after book 3) to absorb a Yokai and give Izuku that Yokai's power for a limited amount of time. Shoto could have something similar with his Yokai Watch, too.

Tokoyami, Aoyama, and Denki find out about Yokai in Book 3. Denki learns to control his electricity better from Zappary, a Yokai with electric powers. Tokoyami would get along with a Tenglum for sure. I can see Aoyama probably starts gossiping with Cupistol or Dazzabel.

As stated before, Katsuki gets better, and he kinda mends his friendship with Izuku. Whisper and Jibanyan still wanna claw his eyes out. Shoto, Tokoyami, Denki, and Aoyama aren't too impressed either, but as long as Izuku is happy, they will keep their opinions to themselves. (Katsuki, pray you never hurt Izuku again cause you will have to watch out for both humans and yokai that will wanna kill you)

And this is kinda it. Again, the chapter list for Book 3 is still not finished, so until I finish that, I don't wanna talk too much about it. But, other than that, this is all I wanted to ramble about for now.

So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Is it a crossover crack? (The answer to the last one is yes.) Let me know!

I hope you have a great day/night and take care of yourselves!

See you tomorrow,

-TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

[dvandom]

Top 10 Hits of the 70s

I lived through the 70s, but didn't really start paying attention to pop/rock music until around 1982 or 1983. But for the last few years, a local Classic Rock station (which, distressingly, is starting to move into the 90s as "classic") has run Casey Kasem's American Top 40: The 70s on Sunday mornings. I can usually manage to catch the top ten, or at least the top five (hey, I sleep late on Sundays). There's almost always stuff that's fairly new to me, even in the top spots, which gives me an interesting view on the staying power of popular music.

Roughly speaking, Top 10 hits of the 70s can be chunked into four tiers, although where any particular song ends up is somewhat dependent on your own experiences.

Tier 1: This is the stuff you could play for a room of high school or college students and a lot of them would recognize it. Whether it's been used in a soundtrack, an ad campaign, or a viral video, these are the songs that have managed to stick around in the public consciousness for fifty years for good or for ill. Not always number one hits, though, sometimes they were just rediscovered later and finally found an audience, or they were "sold a million copies but took a while to do it so never hit number 1" deals.

Tier 2: There's still a good chance of hearing these songs even today, but now you have to go looking in places catering to Gen X and Boomers. They show up on Classic Rock and Easy Listening stations (the Billboard charts had a lot of ballads and dreamy instrumentals in the 70s), or as backing for ads you'll only see during Old People Shows. They might even pop up in store muzak once in a while, or get covered by more recent acts. (For an example of that, a fairly recent cover of "I Got You Babe" has been on college radio of late.)

Tier 3: Here's where it gets a lot more subjective. These are songs that were popular enough in the 70s that someone not actually paying attention to pop music would still have heard them. Pop cultural splashes beyond just the Billboard charts. A lot of these are from Christmas Albums (it seemed everyone was doing them in the 70s)...even if I hadn't been listening to country music in the 70s, I'd have heard the John Denver Muppet Christmas songs, for instance. This tier also includes things that were tier 1 for a while but have faded since and might as well not exist in pop culture today. Number one hits like this made a splash, but the ripples faded fairly quickly.

A lot of these were by acts that jumped on a trend and only had one or two hits before the trend faded and they went back to playing county fairs for a living or the equivalent. But some were just lesser pieces by super-popular groups. For instance, the Bee Gees are remembered enough that Saturday Night Live did a sketch around the group in 2024, and some of their hits are definitely Tier 1 (like Stayin' Alive). But they also had a lot of stuff that had no real staying power, but which hit the top ten purely because people were buying everything they released. A similar modern result would be the case of Taylor Swift capturing the entire top ten recently...I rather doubt all ten songs on that album will be remembered by any but the most diehard fan in 20 years, and if there are any that stick around they might not even be the ones in the top five.

Tier 4: "I have never heard this song before in my life," sort of reaction. Or, if I have, it was only in the context of AT40 reruns or historical music shows like I used to watch on VH1. Things like the spoken-word "The Americans" single, or "I Like Dreamin'" (which was number five on this day in 1977, and I can't recall having ever heard before).

I actually like that Tier 4 songs exist. Not only do I get to occasionally hear new-to-me music that is similar to things I already like, but it also means that our culture of "don't innovate, remake" in mass media hasn't mined out EVERYTHING. There are things that used to be popular and are not being shoved back in our face by aging entertainment executives terrified of being the one to try something new.

[lichen-soup-scribe]

I also don't want to panic people, but I think it's really important to understand:

Just how influential the Heritage Foundation is

How well-organized this effort is

The Heritage Foundation is one of the most influential conservative think-tanks out there. They've been shaping American conservative policy since Reagan. (For example, they gave Reagan's administration a list of 2,000 policy suggestions and by the end of his first year in office, 60% of those suggestions had been implemented.)

And this Project 2025 plan wasn't just developed by them -- scores of other conservative groups (like Turning Point USA) also collaborated on it. They've developed a 900+-page guidebook on how to remake the government to ensure their policy goals are successful. You can download it at this link.

They claim to believe the president has absolute power over the executive branch, and they also assign enormous power to the executive branch. These policy changes are designed to be implemented without passing through Congress or the courts.

A few key ones include:

Reversing basically all progressive climate policy and actively encouraging the use of natural gas and fossil fuels

Rescinding all regulations "prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, transgender status, sex characteristics, etc."

Revoking the FDA's approval of abortion pills and requiring all states to track and report abortions

Adding work requirements to receive Medicaid

But there's so, so much more.

To ensure these changes are carried out without resistance from government personnel, the Heritage Foundation is currently recruiting around 20,000 bureaucrats to replace current administrative staff. These recruits must pass an ideological test where they're asked to agree or disagree with statements like "The federal government should recognize only two unchanging sexes, male and female, as a matter of policy."

In case you think I'm exaggerating here, Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation, said this to the NYT:

“In 2016, the conservative movement was not prepared to flood the zone with conservative personnel. On Jan. 20, 2025, things will be very different. This database will prepare an army of vetted, trained staff to begin dismantling the administrative state from Day 1.”

Or, in the words of Project 2025's director Paul Dans (a former Trump official), Project 2025 is "systematically preparing to march into office and bring a new army, aligned, trained, and essentially weaponized conservatives ready to do battle against the deep state."

The Heritage Foundation and its partners have poured more than $22 million into this project.

It is not fear-mongering to say that if any Republican becomes president this year, this plan will be carried out. It's everything the party has worked toward for the last 60 years.

not my meme but you all do know about this right? It feels like it's getting buried right now and I feel like its proponents are trying to take advantage of that.

[cottoncandy-cult]

Tw because I talk about a very dark anime near the end of my little ramble. I'll mark the end of the safety zone, under that is enter at your own risk 18 and up territory because the show I'm describing is basically the nuclear darkest side of history and has a lot of messed up events.

Never realized how active the Twisted Wonderland fandom was on Ao3 til now, I've yet to really find a place to stick as far as fandoms so Ao3 stills very distant and impersonal to me compared to places like here and and Wattpad. Like for me so far it feels like Ao3 is really professionally distant, Tumblr is a middle ground of friendly and responsive but still a little distant, while Wattpad feels like a house party. Like you know those Richboy Gojo fics that talk about Geto and Gojo always holding house parties where it's basically anyone who wants to show up can? Yeah that's how wattpad feels. It's where I started writing, so it's kinda like walking into your best friend's house during an active house party. I know where the kitchen is, I know where the drinks are, I recognize a lot of the people there even if I don't know them personally. I feel like Shoko at one of Geto or Gojo's parties.... I'm not sure why this got long, I was just trying to explain that Ao3 feels really solitary. But no, overall my point is I moved my Babification event for Twisted Wonderland on here to there last night. About 8 hours in I have 189 hits, a bookmark and 7 kudos. So I can definitely see that certain fandoms are more active than others. And I'm kinda bummed cause I'm like 99% sure that most of the anime I write for are gonna be dead fandoms or very low activity fandoms. I know this because the fandoms are already pretty low activity even on Wattpad and here. Like Black Blood Brothers, it was an old vampire anime with an interesting premise that fell off because it wasn't immediately popular. (The manga and anime world is cut throat, the underground anime market is saturated.) Now bare in mind it isn't cancelled, they just dropped it after it's first season. (Only 12 episodes but I really liked it). The fandom has been active enough that people have talked about petitioning for a remake or continuation, but not so active that there is a whole lot of interaction with their content. Sometimes these anime don't have any content available, much less limited content. I'd be happy with black blood brothers fluff. And I've always considered doing a rant and ramble series on anime I love but the fanbase is dead or just has a disproportionate number of willing readers to capable producers. Cause some of these anime I genuinely believe need more attention, especially when it comes to ones like BBB. Where they aren't really cancelled, just kind of sat aside. Cases like that would be the easiest to bring back.

🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

Though I know some anime probably aren't gonna be popular, people won't want to remake them because they're to risky. Like Basilisk (and it's later part Basilisk Ouka Ninja Scroll), this anime comes with so many trigger warnings. It has a lot of basis in Japanese history, but it does have a touch of "magic", but when I say history I don't mean the prettier sides. There is blood and gore, there is sexual abuse (it's once in each part of the series the women that it happens too are "enemy" kunoichi, there is base for this in history as many diaries have been uncovered over the years talking about how female ninja are warned about being caught and in some cases are "prepared" to handle sexual torture. I took a couple advanced history classes in highschool and history is always way way darker than the blood splattered one we're taught in the regular classes. I had a couple classes where you and your parents had to sign wavers stating you knew that some of what we'd be learning about could be very dark and messed up. Not excusing it, just adding context as to where this is likely coming from. As it is meant to be based in history, unfiltered and at its worst ) and that's just the start, political corruption, abuse, torture, trauma, self harm and suicide, manipulation and gaslighting, sexism, and in the second part at the very end a psycho tries to force the 2 main characters (which were reincarnations of the characters from the first part, and came back as siblings raised separate.) Into incest to use the corrupted virgin blood to resurrect Nobunaga Oda. There is kinda boy love but it's in that screwy historical way, it is an overall dark anime that is not meant for the squeamish or easily triggered. It's unapologetic in how it represents the darkest parts of the time period. So I can understand why it never got super popular, and why it can probably never be remade in this day and age. Plus the ending of the whole whirlwind is very bittersweet, so if your mental health is easily damaged or it is currently in question. I wouldn't recommend bingeing it all at once (it isn't a very long series, 24 in Basilisk and 24 in Basilisk Ouka Ninja scrolls. You could probably skip Ouka Ninja scrolls as it takes a very sad ending and makes it sadder. So it's very watch at your own risk.

I kind of lost the plot, I don't really remember why any of this was important. Just kinda felt like talking about something even if it isn't to anyone specific. I was enjoying a bit of rum while I transferred my stuff to Ao3 in case something happens with Tumblr. So uh... I guess check out my Ao3 if you're interested in any of my Ao3 exclusive writings. I have links to 2 of my books in my Masterlist, scroll all the way to bottom and ignore my singular attempt at smut on here. It isn't as good as my Ao3 smut.

[manic-maniac-man]

Martin Margiela New Artisanal (Aw05)

Martin Margiela, New Artisanal Photos / Yaanic Kata for Origin Regression

Composition & Test Toru Ukon, Yasuyuki Takase EAT

What is the new artisanal to ask Maison Martin Margiela?

We will use a wide variety of existing items as materials and manually remake them into new clothes. Martin Margiela says that the Artisanal, which he has been doing since 1989, will be renewed this fall and winter. What kind of challenge is "new artisanal"?

I asked Nmartin Margiela 10 questions.

Q1 From this 05-06A / W collection, I heard that the Artisanal Collection will return to its original origin at the time when it was first created and restart. First of all, please tell me the reason.

A1 Artiza for women and men from this season

For the first time, the Naru collection will be available in a very limited number only at Maison Martin Margiela's retail stores. Each season, we propose about five themes for women and men. Each theme will be available at the Margiela shop in Malta for about 3.4 weeks until the next theme is replaced.

Over the last few seasons, we have felt that various restrictions have increased in the process of creating art. This is for us because the existence of these clothes (labeled "/" for men) for women is based on the idea of ​​free creation. It was a very strange thing! It was going on in the years of analyzing why this happened. It turns out that this is due to changes in the scale of production of these clothes. Artisanal is the most important and endorsed creative expression that began in 1989, the start of the Maison's activities. Initially, it was placed in only a few select shops in the world, and it was possible to produce very special items. Over time, the number of shops dealing with them has increased, and more and more clothes have been remade by this handicraft. It became difficult and pressured to find enough raw materials and existing clothing to meet this demand. If we couldn't find enough materials, we could have to give up on the creative realization. I thought it was time to change something.

Q2 The new artisanal that has returned to the origin and the recent artisanal. What's the biggest difference? A2 The time spent on production is greater than before. Some doors this season will take a full four hours to be built in the atelier! Examples of this are blouson for men made by collecting vintage fur trapper's hats, and also pilots from the 1930s. There is a blouson made by collecting hats. Also for women, the original material has, as seen in antique chandelier crystal drops that are no longer used, remade into neckless and bracelets, and jackets made from a collection of antique wigs. We are particular about weight and authenticity).

A blouson that recognizes and forms a sheepskin pilot on a mannequin. The production period is actually 4 days. There are 2 colors in total, and 7 items will be sold worldwide. (Martin Margiela Leather Blouson ¥ 1,575,000 (Martin Margiela Japan)

Q3 You continue to use "craftsmanship" or "handmade" processing. What kind of fascination do you find in such methods?

A3 The power and energy of clothes that already have history and stories. Utilizing the energy of those clothes as they are, they are new. It's about pointing in a creative direction. In many cases, there are objects, accessories, and things that have nothing to do with it. Cotton bandage shoes, wigs, crystals and more are good examples!

Q4 I'm always surprised by the artisanal that reuses unexpected materials. How do you get inspiration for those ideas? A4 Ideas come abruptly, as if a friend who hadn't been in contact for a long time suddenly appeared !! Never, when, how, and why. I don't know, but I'm glad that the other person is there and the dialogue begins!

Q5 Women's "" and Men's "/" arties

Compare the Zanal collection to the newness and value you seek

Is there any difference? A5 There is no particular difference, but when it comes to clothing for women, I think there is room to pursue creation in extreme areas. What is for women may have the property of allowing such force and breadth.

I don't know.

06 It was a work that I would like you to decorate in the museum, such as the leather blouson reconstructed by the sheepskin pilot that I shot this time! Do you want the same reality as other lines even in such artistic artisanals? A6 Clothes are always clothes !!!! Creative or clothes! Artistic! Clothes are still more or less

There is none.

Q7 Do you think "fashion is not art"? A7 Applied art, a craft, but it is not art in a social sense.

Q8 Dismantling the vintage and adding a completely new value

Remake. Did you discover anything by continuing with the bold artisanal method? AB It means that clothes that already exist and have a history have more power than their materials. It contains energy with the potential to be directed in new directions, along with life and traces of life!

Q9 What is the biggest difficulty in making clothes for Artisanal?

A9 We explained our recent challenges as an answer to the first question. Other problems are very real. Find materials, handle them properly ... Take on the challenge of the ideas in them.

Q10 The biggest thing in making clothes for Artisanal

What is it? A10 The freedom of creation that this gives us, the wonderful opportunity to share with people, and the various dialogues that this process triggers.

Right / Vintage rock T-shirt with wool embroidery on the body (Martin Margiela T-shirt ¥ 168,000 Left / Gillet covering the whole with a dead stock tie from the 1960s, as well as red and bull There are about 5 songs for each color. Reversi specifications. (Martin Margiela Gillet ¥ 30,000 (both Martin Margiela Ja)

[mikuni14]

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING. This is happening especially in Western media, where there are practically no new stories and ideas, only franchises, remakes, subsequent installments of the same series with new characters, spin-offs, I heard they probably make new Harry Potter films! Because something sold once, so they repeat it, instead of investing the money in something new and innovative.

Personally, I'm not surprised at all by the popularity of, for example, kdramas, because in my case alone I can say that the ONLY innovative series I have watched in the last 5 years, that showed new ideas and even old genres, such as mystery, dystopia, high school, or cop drama showed in new, incredibly interesting versions, they all came mainly from Korea.

When it comes to BLs, sometimes I have the impression that so many producers stopped at the incredible popularity of 2gether 😀, forgetting that this series was popular because it was probably the first series to be so widely available and recognized. Still, BL series are not afraid to experiment, but you can definitely SEE which creators know what the masses REALLY want, plus they are brave and uncompromising - and yes, Saint is a master at this. SCOY and The Sign break patterns and reach viewers hungry for interesting and non-standard stories.

After the huge success of KinnPorsche, I thought there would be more series with adult themes, crime, etc. And yet, Thailand went towards mass production of series that tbh were lost in the mass of other similar series without leaving much of an impression or even being remembered. BUT, I still have to defend BL, that even the hundredth high school BL series is often still better than most of the shit produced in the West 😋 More than once I watch an avarage Thai BL series and I am amazed by the commitment and professionalism of often very young actors. BL series, despite their repetition, are still able to sell us REAL EMOTIONS and draw us into their often silly stories, and for this alone, I will forgive them everything.

That being said, I am incredibly grateful for The Sign, which feels so new, creative, interesting and excellent in every way 💖

And I'm looking forward to all the new series, give me vampires, heist, crime, horrors... an yes, even Cherry Magic remake lol

Taking a break from squeeing over all this juicy stuff on my dash for a moment, I have to say that what both Saint & YinWar are doing here is really important for the creative side of QL.

Let's be clear, most media executives are not creative people. They may have some business acumen (though most I think fake it quite a bit), but a vast number are incapable of understanding what it feels like to be creative, or how to connect with the people (us) who engage with creative material in any kind of passionate way.

Which is why they so often make decisions like "this college BL was cheap to make and did well - let's make 20 more". It's why they keep adapting books that fit pre-established norms while ignoring the vast number of QL books in other genres. It's why they so often will only take a "risk" once it's already been proven profitable by some smaller more independent enterprise. It's why they are chomping at the bit to replace writers with AI (I hate calling it that, it's not remotely intelligent), because they truly don't see the difference between an algorithm and a human being. Both can produce "content" and that's what they care about.

Now I'm sure that part of YinWar making Jack and Joker is because they want to play in something cool & fun (get it boys!), but also they're no dummies. Partner in Crime was a test, and they saw how the people reacted.

Same with Saint. Each series pushes the QL bubble open a little bit wider, because he understands that despite what most executives think, we as viewers are not a mindless monolith that you can endlessly feed the same content to.

And vitally, what they get and most executives don't, is the FANDOM of it all. They know we want to pour over gifs & photos, and swoon over this sexy moment, and talk about that cool bit of action. We want to be fed.

We're not subtle about what we like. If you take the time to actually pay attention to us

The ironic thing is that I think both of these productions are going to do very well, and then more executives will jump on the genre bandwagon and recycle ideas, without understanding just what it is that makes us so feral for these particular properties.

But in the meantime, I am grateful for creative people who fight to make their own content. How much more colorless our world would be without them.

[nitrateglow]

Favorite films discovered in 2020

Well, this year sucked. I did see some good movies though. Some even made after I was born!

Perfect Blue (dir. Satoshi Kon, 1997)

I watch a lot of thrillers and horror movies, but precious few actually unsettle me in any lasting way. This cannot be said of Perfect Blue, which gave me one of the most visceral cinematic experiences of my life. Beyond the brief flashes of bloodletting (you will never look at a screwdriver the same way again), the scariest thing about Perfect Blue might be how the protagonist has both her life and her sense of self threatened by the villains. The movie’s prescience regarding public persona is also incredibly eerie, especially in our age of social media. While anime is seen as a very niche interest (albeit one that has become more mainstream in recent years), I would highly recommend this movie to thriller fans, whether they typically watch anime or not. It’s right up there with the best of Hitchcock or De Palma.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (dir. Sergio Leone, 1966)

Nothing is better than when an iconic movie lives up to the hype. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef play off of one another perfectly. I was impressed by Wallach as Tuco in particular: his character initially seems like a one-dimensional greedy criminal, but the performance is packed with wonderful moments of humanity. Do I really need to say anything about the direction? Or about the wonderful storyline, which takes on an almost mythic feel in its grandeur? Or that soundtrack?

Die Niebelungen (both movies) (dir. Fritz Lang, 1924)

I did NOT expect to love these movies as much as I did. That they would be dazzlingly gorgeous I never doubted: the medieval world of the story is brought to vivid life through the geometrical mise en scene and detailed costuming. However, the plot itself is so, so riveting, never losing steam over the course of the four hours it takes to watch both movies. The first half is heroic fantasy; the second half involves a revenge plot of almost Shakespearean proportions. This might actually be my favorite silent Fritz Lang movie now.

Muppet Treasure Island (dir. Brian Henson, 1996)

I understand that people have different tastes and all, but how does this movie have such a mixed reception? It’s absolutely hilarious. How could anybody get through the scene with “THA BLACK SPOT AGGHHHHHHH” and not declare this a masterpiece of comedy? And I risk being excommunicated from the Muppet fandom for saying it, but I like this one more than The Great Muppet Caper. It’s probably now my second favorite Muppet movie.

Belle de Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel, 1967)

I confess I’m not terribly fond of “but was it real???” movies. They tend to feel gimmicky more often than not. Belle de Jour is an exception. This is about more than a repressed housewife getting her kicks working as a daytime prostitute. The film delves into victim blaming, trauma, class, and identity-- sure, this sounds academic and dry when I put it that way, but what I’m trying to say is that these are very complicated characters and the blurring of fantasy and reality becomes thought-provoking rather than trite due to that complexity.

Secondhand Lions (dir. Tim McCanlies, 2003)

The term “family movie” is often used as a synonym for “children’s movie.” However, there is an important distinction: children’s movies only appeal to kids, while family movies retain their appeal as one grows up. Secondhand Lions is perhaps a perfect family movie, with a great deal more nuance than one might expect regarding the need for storytelling and its purpose in creating meaning for one’s life. It’s also amazingly cast: Haley Joel Osment is excellent as the juvenile lead, and Michael Caine and Robert Duvall steal the show as Osment’s eccentric uncles.

The Pawnbroker (dir. Sidney Lumet, 1964)

Controversial in its day for depicting frontal nudity, The Pawnbroker shocks today for different reasons. As the top review of the film on IMDB says, we’re used to victims of great atrocities being presented as sympathetic, good people in fiction. Here, Rod Steiger’s Sol Nazerman subverts such a trope: his suffering at the hands of the Nazis has made him a hard, closed-off person, dismissive of his second wife (herself also a survivor of the Holocaust), cold to his friendly assistant, and bitter towards himself. The movie follows Nazerman’s postwar life, vividly presenting his inner pain in a way that is almost too much to bear. Gotta say, Steiger gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in a movie here: he’s so three-dimensional and complex. The emotions on his face are registered with Falconetti-level brilliance.

The Apartment (dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

While not the most depressing Christmas movie ever, The Apartment certainly puts a good injection of cynicism into the season. I have rarely seen a movie so adept at blending comedy, romance, and satire without feeling tone-deaf. There are a lot of things to praise about The Apartment, but I want to give a special shoutout to the dialogue. “Witty” dialogue that sounds natural is hard to come by-- so often, it just feels smart-assy and strained. Not here.

Anatomy of a Murder (dir. Otto Preminger, 1959)

I’m not big into courtroom dramas, but Anatomy of a Murder is a big exception. Its morally ambiguous characters elevate it from being a mere “whodunit” (or I guess in the case of this movie, “whydunit”), because if there’s something you’re not going to get with this movie, it’s a clear answer as to what happened on the night of the crime. Jimmy Stewart gives one of his least characteristic performances as the cynical lawyer, and is absolutely brilliant. 

Oldboy (dir. Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Oldboy reminded me a great deal of John Webster’s 17th century tragedy The Duchess of Malfi. Both are gruesome, frightening, and heartbreaking works of art, straddling the line between sensationalism and intelligence, proving the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s both entertaining and difficult to watch. The thought of revisiting it terrifies me but I feel there is so much more to appreciate about the sheer craft on display.

Family Plot (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1976)

Family Plot is an enjoyable comedy; you guys are just mean. I know in an ideal world, Hitchcock’s swan song would be a great thriller masterpiece in the vein of Vertigo or Psycho. Family Plot is instead a silly send-up of Hitchcock’s favorite tropes, lampooning everything from the dangerous blonde archetype (with not one but two characters) to complicated MacGuffin plots. You’ll probably demand my film buff card be revoked for my opinion, but to hell with it-- this is my favorite of Hitchcock’s post-Psycho movies.

My Best Girl (dir. Sam Taylor, 1927)

Mary Pickford’s farewell to silent film also happens to be among her best movies. It’s a simple, charming romantic comedy starring her future husband, Charles “Buddy” Rogers. Pickford also gets to play an adult character here, rather than the little girl parts her public demanded she essay even well into her thirties. She and Rogers are sweet together without being diabetes-inducing, and the comedy is often laugh out loud funny. It even mocks a few tropes that anyone who watches enough old movies will recognize and probably dislike-- such as “break his heart to save him!!” (my personal most loathed 1920s/1930s trope).

Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

This feels like such a zeitgeist movie. It’s about the gap between the rich and the poor, it’s ironic,  it’s depressing, it’s unpredictable as hell. I don’t like terms like “modern classic,” because by its very definition, a classic can only be deemed as such after a long passage of time, but I have a good feeling Parasite will be considered one of the definitive films of the 2010s in the years to come.

Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

Indiscreet often gets criticized for not being Notorious more or less, which is a shame. It’s not SUPPOSED to be-- it’s cinematic souffle and both Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant elevate that light material with their perfect chemistry and comedic timing. It’s also refreshing to see a rom-com with characters over 40 as the leads-- and the movie does not try to make them seem younger or less mature, making the zany moments all the more hilarious. It’s worth seeing for Cary Grant’s jig (picture above) alone.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (dir. Joseph Sargent, 1974)

This movie embodies so much of what I love about 70s cinema: it’s gritty, irreverent, and hard-hitting. It’s both hilarious and suspenseful-- I was tense all throughout the run time. I heard there was a remake and it just seems... so, so pointless when you already have this gem perfect as it is.

They All Laughed (dir. Peter Bogdonavich, 1981)

Bogdonavich’s lesser known homage to 1930s screwball comedy is also a weirdly autumnal movie. Among the last gasps of the New Hollywood movement, it is also marks the final time Audrey Hepburn would star in a theatrical release. The gentle comedy, excellent ensemble cast (John Ritter is the standout), and the mature but short-lived romance between Hepburn and Ben Gazarra’s characters make this a memorably bittersweet gem.

The Palm Beach Story (dir. Preston Sturges, 1942)

Absolutely hilarious. I was watching this with my parents in the room. My mom tends to like old movies while my dad doesn’t, but both of them were laughing aloud at this one. Not much else to say about it, other than I love Joel McCrea the more movies I see him in-- though it’s weird seeing him in comedies since I’m so used to him as a back-breaking man on the edge in The Most Dangerous Game!

Nothing Sacred (dir. William Wellman, 1937)

I tend to associate William Wellman with the pre-code era, so I’ve tried delving more into his post-code work. Nothing Sacred is easily my favorite of those films thus far, mainly for Carole Lombard but also because the story still feels pretty fresh due to the jabs it takes at celebrity worship and moral hypocrisy. For a satire, it’s still very warm towards its characters, even when they’re misbehaving or deluding themselves, so it’s oddly a feel-good film too.

Applause (dir. Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)

I love watching early sound movies, but my inner history nerd tends to enjoy them more than the part of me that, well, craves good, well-made movies. Most early sound films are pure awkward, but there’s always an exception and Applause is one of them. While the plot’s backstage melodrama is nothing special, the way the story is told is super sophisticated and expressive for this period of cinema history, and Helen Morgan makes the figure of the discarded burlesque queen seem truly human and tragic rather than merely sentimental.

Topaz (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1969)

Another late Hitchcock everyone but me seems to hate. After suffering through Torn Curtain, I expected Hitchcock’s other cold war thriller was going to be dull as dishwater, but instead I found an understated espionage movie standing in stark contrast to the more popular spy movies of the period. It’ll never be top Hitchcock, of course-- still it was stylish and enjoyable, with some truly haunting moments. I think it deserves more appreciation than it’s been given.

What were your favorite cinematic discoveries in 2020?

[thalassa-caelum]

IN/ENGLISH:

Well, this is going to be the last post I'm going to do on this topic and then "The End". As you know , followers and friends, a couple of months ago I have been receiving hateful (anonymous) comments from useless people who have a lot of free time. Normally, I ignore these kinds of things because they're the sick pastimes of cowardly people, but I have found out that they have been spreading slurs on me, so I'm going to dedicate this post to politely answer them:

1."Your Liar Princess is a copy of xxxx": Wrong. They told me this in 2021 but my AU was published on Feb 17th, 2019. You just have to go to the original post and you will find their publication date. This AU was born out of my fanaticism for the video game. There is no more story behind this. However, it's important to emphasize that my Au's story is VERY DIFFERENT from the story of the video game. The Knight and the Huntress don't exist in the video game, the Wolf's intentions are different (the game's wolf is much friendlier), and the Prince doesn't have magical eyes. These are some examples. Is it a copy of what exactly?

2. ”Your Identity V3 AU is a copy...too”: My AU’s was posted on Oct 17th, 2018, two years before the DRxID Collab announcement. I'm not a time traveler, is impossible for my AU to be a copy, and even if I decided to draw something on this today then that would just be a fanart, not a copy. To this I add, this AU’s was born when the Identity V game wasn't the globally recognized game that is today. I just thought "it would be a cool mix" and the rest is history.

3. “Your D. of Shuichi is a copy" (of what? They have never specified it): Wrong again. My comic (January 12, 2021) is slightly inspired by a book that I love called "Disarticulations", which tells the story of a woman with Alzheimer's. Obviously, neither Shuichi nor Kokichi have this sad disease, since the only thing I took from the book was a phrase ["only when we forget something, can we begin to remember"] and the rest is a modern interpretation of a philosophy concept name that I willn't mention because it would ruin much of the mystery. It isn't a copy, at most it has an intertext inside.

4. (This is perhaps the most inconceivable lol), “Your Remake is a copy”. because it makes all the logic in the world... to copy myself. I know that my style has changed, but I think is clear that the two drawings are the work of the same person because... they both have my watermark on them *sigh*.

- I think this shouldn't even be a topic of discussion, it's very easy to find the publication dates of each of the Au's in this blog, and if they need more "proof" I have each of the original files saved on other platforms. In addition, it's very easy to identify the same dates in the metadata. Personally, I wasn't going to say anything about this because is a waste of time for me, however this post is to affirm that I'm not going to delete my drawings or my account just because some children are bothered by my saiouma, my ideas or they "don't like me" for their immature reasons. Here posted drawings just for fun, I don't want money, or anything like that, I'm never going to profit from this because I'm not a professional artist like many of my friends and, thanks God, I don't need it. For this same reason, I have the total freedom to posting what I want since, as I said, is a hobby.

My apologies for this text, but I thought is necessary to clarify the obvious in case any of you became a recipient of this nonsense.

Have a nice day, ladies and gentlemen.

Long Live Tonight.

SPANISH/ESPAÑOL:

Bueno, este va a ser el último post que voy a hacer sobre este tema y luego voy a concluirlo. Como ustedes saben, seguidores, hace un par de meses he estado recibiendo comentarios (anónimos) de odio de parte de gente inutil que tiene mucho tiempo libre. Normalmente, ignoro esta clase de cosas porque son los pasatiempos enfermizos de gente cobarde, pero me he enterado que han estado esparciendo difamaciones sobre mí, así que voy a dedicar este post a contestarles:

1.Tu Liar Princess es una copia de xxxx. Error. Esto me lo dijeron en 2021 pero mi AU fue publicado en Feb 17th, 2019. Solamente tienes que ir al post original y encontrarás la fecha de publicación. Este AU nació por mi fanatismo por el videojuego. No hay historia más detrás de esto. Sin embargo, es importante recalcar que la historia de mi AU es MUY DIFERENTE a la historia del videojuego. El Caballero y la Cazadora no existen en el videojuego, las intenciones del Lobo son diferentes (el lobo del juego es mucho más amigable), y el príncipe no tiene ojos mágicos. Estos son algunos ejemplos. ¿Es una copia de qué exactamente?

2.”Tu Identity V3 AU es una copia”: Mi AU’s fue publicado el Oct 17th, 2018, dos años antes del anuncio del Collab. No soy una viajera del tiempo, es imposible que sea una copia y aunque yo decidiera dibujar algo sobre esto el día de hoy, entonces eso sería simplemente un fanart, no una copia. A esto agrego, este AU’s nació cuando el juego de Identity V no era el juego mundialmente reconocido que es hoy en día. Simplemente pensé “sería un mix cool” y el resto es historia.

3. “Tu D.of Shuichi” es una copia (¿de qué? Nunca lo han especificado). Como sea, de nuevo error. Mi comic ( Jan 12th, 2021) está inspirado levemente en un libro que amo llamado “Desarticulaciones”, el cual cuenta la historia de una mujer con alzheimer. Obviamente, ni Shuichi ni Kokichi tienen esta triste enfermedad, ya que lo único que tomé del libro fue una frase “solamente cuando olvidamos algo, podemos empezar a recordar” y lo demás es una interpretación moderna de un concepto de la filosofía cuyo nombre no voy a mencionar porque arruinaría gran parte del misterio. No es una copia, a lo sumo tiene un intertexto.

4. Esta es quizás la más inconcebible, “tu Remake es una copia”. Porque tiene toda la lógica del mundo el copiarme de mí misma. Sé que mi estilo ha cambiado, pero creo que es evidente que los dos dibujos son obra de una misma persona porque ambos tienen mi marca de agua en él.

Creo que esto ni siquiera debería ser un tema de discusión, es muy sencillo encontrar las fechas de publicación de cada uno de los AU’s en este blog, y si necesitan más “pruebas” tengo cada uno de los archivos originales guardados en otras plataformas. Además, es muy sencillo identificar las mismas fechas en los metadatos. Personalmente no iba a decir nada sobre esto porque es una pérdida de tiempo, sin embargo este post es para afirmar que no voy a borrar mi contenido ni mis cuentas solamente porque a unos niños les moleste el saiouma, mis ideas, o yo no les agrade por sus razones inmaduras. Publicó dibujos solamente por diversión, no quiero dinero, ni nada parecido, nunca voy a lucrar con esto porque no soy una artista profesional como varios de mis amigos y, gracias a Dios, no lo necesito. Por esta misma razón, tengo la libertad total para publicar lo que yo desee ya que, como dije, es un pasatiempo.

Mis disculpas por este texto, pero creí necesario aclarar lo evidente por si alguno de ustedes llega a ser receptor de estas tonterías.

Tengan un buen día, damas y caballeros.

Long Live Tonight.

[blackjack-15]

Ziplines, Blood Ties, and Colonavirus — Thoughts on: The Silent Spy (SPY)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP, ASH, TMB, DED, GTH

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SPY; mentions of the “Nancy Games” (ASH-SPY); SAW; mention of National Treasure (2004).

The Intro:

It’s our penultimate meta, and this time, it’s personal.

In every way, The Silent Spy is the culmination of the Nancy Games. Ever since her trip back home in ASH, Nancy has been increasingly featured in the games, showing us more of her personality, her life, and her backstory — all in an effort to lead up to this story, where we actually delve into Nancy’s place in the world and what it means that she lives in it.

And the answer to that is a lot less wholly idealistic than the franchise would have given 20+ games ago.

I don’t mean to say that SPY is a cynical game — it’s honestly fairly neutral, edging on positive — but that SPY accepts the fundamental truth that all of the Nancy games have been leading up to: that Nancy, though talented, hardworking, and connected, is simply another fish when it comes to the sea of life. She’s not unique in any way that really matters – look at her foils in Alexei, in Jamila, in Deirdre, in Jessalyn — and yet she continues to work hard, to solve puzzles, and to right old wrongs.

At least for me, this is a hopeful message. The point of “Nancy Drew, Girl Detective” is not that no one could do what she does, it’s not that she’s the best, most experienced sleuth in the world, and it’s not that she’s the Last, Best Hope of those who call upon her for aid. The point behind her character is that she’s a relatively normal (if wealthy) girl who does what she can, and chooses to do it again and again.

There’s a wonderful part in the equally wonderful movie National Treasure when our heroes are reading a part of the Declaration — the part talking about the right of the citizens to throw off a despotic government like the British had become — and Ben (Nicholas Cage, actually in a good movie for once!) defines it in modern speech:

“If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.”

In the beginning of the Nancy Drew games series, Nancy is merely an intuitive puzzle solver. She gets her cases through family connections, turns up at places where mysteries happen to occur, etc. etc. As time goes on and she practices, she eventually comes to the point where she’s being hired for bigger and bigger cases, more and more regularly — in short, she starts to live the truth of that quote. Nancy is, at her core, someone with the ability to take action against things that are Wrong. Throughout this series — and most especially, throughout the “Nancy” games (ASH-SPY), she becomes someone who recognizes her responsibility to take action.

And that’s what’s showcased here in SPY. Upon arriving and learning that she’s been led to Glasgow under false circumstances, Nancy is immediately and wholly over her head — but she’s still someone who has the ability to take action to right a wrong. When she’s working against Revenant, warning the scientist, or reading through secret memo after secret memo, she’s not doing it with the intent to Save the World; she’s finishing Kate Drew’s last task. Her loyalty isn’t to Glasgow, to Cathedral, to MI5, or any other player in this story — her loyalty is to her mother, and to the task Kate Drew died while trying to finish.

Which is, in my view, the best possible motivation in a game that’s all about family.

With that discussion behind us, I want to talk a little bit here about the other theme of this game — power. Revenant, as the terrorist group that they are, want to seize power; their goal is to run Glasgow (branching off from there into a wider sphere, of course) through seizing power during a (self-induced) state of emergency — aka, what’s referred to in-game as the Colony operation.

This is, of course, Politics 101 — whip people up into a frenzy, come in promising to Save Everyone, and entrench yourself in power that you can’t be moved from with any amount of ease. And while Revenant planned it for 2005, it would work even better in 2013, when social media and instant, 24-hour news cycles can keep the fear alive far more effectively than Revenant would have hoped for nearly a decade prior.

Both in 2005 and 2013, Revenant nearly succeeds, only to be foiled by a red-head out of her depth but who tries anyway (the difference between the two, of course, is that Kate was isolated and Nancy had backup). The most startling thing — and one of my favorite things about this game – is that it doesn’t end with Nancy ‘killing’ Revenant once and for all, or even stopping the Colony Operation once and for all. Nancy is, in every way, out of her depth here; she’s not used by either side as an agent, or even as an asset — she is, as Zoe reminds her, a tool, valuable for what she might know, not for her skills, not for who she is, or what she works for.

As the games from TOT on have worked hard to expand Nancy’s world and tie it together, SPY shows the benefit of having a wide-open world: that the world goes on, people live and die, and secretive organizations (ATAC, Revenant, Cathedral, MI5…) plot and scheme to remake the world in their image.

This, in my view, is also a great thing. The thing that Nancy Drew books (and a lot of the early games) get wrong is that Nancy fixes (or is party to fixing) all of the problems introduced. The piano-playing girl that Nancy meets ends up with a Grandmaster as a teacher; the inheritance goes to the Worthy Widow and Her Daughter; Nancy rescues her tied-up father AND solves his case for his client all in one brilliant masterstroke.

That’s not to say that every story should have all of its threads dangling by the end, but Nancy is simply a smart and resourceful girl, working (most of the time) with her own relatively meager resources. She shouldn’t be the answer to the world’s problems, and I think it’s lovely that, especially in the Nancy games, she really isn’t. Nancy is a helper, and that’s far more valuable than being an omniscient, all-powerful being who can magically fix everyone’s problems just by being there.

The last thing I want to talk about in this introduction is how good SPY is for Nancy’s own personal lore. There’s a lot of fuss every time SPY is brought up about how “Nancy’s mom actually died when she was three!!” which, honestly, tells me that the 60s re-writes (which, yes, if you’re pedantic, started in ’59) did more damage than I had previously thought.

The original Nancy Drew books were written in the 30s by various ghostwriters, and were a little different from the yellow-bound 60s rewrites that most people consider the “old Nancy Drew books”. 30s Nancy Drew was a little closer to our games-universe Nancy; brash, outspoken, punishingly independent, and incredibly capable. She’s also a bit violent and unruly, has graduated from school at 16, lost her mother at 10, and does as she pleases with the occasional call home to reassure Carson or (more often) to ask a question about the law.

Sadly, other than taking out a few racial and societal overtones that weren’t really acceptable after 30 years — mostly by taking out any non-white characters and including different forms of bias, note — the yellow rewrites weren’t an improvement to the stories or to Nancy’s character. Nancy becomes less bold, less independent, and far more focused on describing each meal in punishing amounts of detail. The words “kindly” and “sweetly” were increasingly added after “Nancy said”, she’s far more deferential to authority, and her mother instead passes when Nancy is 3, rather than 10.

In changing the form of the media to video games, rather than books, what would eventually become HER had a choice; they could align themselves with the newest Nancy Drew books — the Nancy Drew Files and Nancy Drew on Campus, both of which were known for being Hotter and Sexier (and, in the case of Campus, ridiculously stupid) — or choose what people called “the classics” — the yellow-spine 60s rewrites, as the once-famous blue books had been all but forgotten in the 90s. In the first (and still one of the last, honestly) brilliant move of the series, HER chose to mix and match the things that made for good game fodder from (nearly, given how much the Campus books suck) every written incarnation of Nancy.

And, to their credit, they chose an important fact from the 30s: Nancy’s mother died when she was 10, not when she was 3.

Losing a parent is a defining moment no matter when it happens, but the exact effect often changes based on (among other things) the age of the child. In order for Nancy to be the kind of person who is influenced by the mystery of her mother’s death, her mother had to have died when Nancy could remember — thus, 3 is right out, as Nancy might remember tiny bits and pieces of the events leading up to and right after, but nothing else.

By taking bits and pieces of contrasting (and often contradictory) lore and making their own out of it, HER (and I’m hat-tipping Cathy and Nik especially here, given Nancy’s characterization spike beginning around WAC/TOT) gives us a version of Nancy that’s similar to the sleuth we know and love from the books and movies (ignoring the 2007 disaster) and, occasionally, TV shows, while still keeping her mostly consistent and showing us a few new flashes that make this character stand out and win her place in the Drewniverse.

Now, with all of that said, let’s move on to this game in specific, shall we?

The Title:

The Silent Spy, as a title, is one that is wonderfully mysterious and really makes you want to know more — right up until the title drop within the game itself, at which point it shifts from quite alluring to desperately sad and foreboding.

After all, “the only silent spy is a dead spy.”

As the game really is about our resident Silent Spy — Kate Drew and her actions and legacy — this is really the only title that the game could have had, and it suits it down to the ground, both with its mystery and with its sadness.

In life, Kate Drew was silenced, and in death, she is obviously necessarily silent — but Nancy reads her words, remembers her speech, listens to her voice, and, of course, hears her song, whenever the world is quiet enough. And I think that’s a wonderful dichotomy for the title to introduce before the game has even properly begun.

The Mystery:

Summoned to Scotland by a mysterious message and guided by a photograph of her mother, Nancy arrives ready to retrace her mother’s steps — only to be thrown into a world of espionage, gadgets, untraceable phone calls, and deadly mishaps. Her luggage (and her best clue about her mother) having been stolen, the presence of an old family friend who refuses to talk, an evasive skiptracer, an excitable local, and a clever intelligence agent all work together to ensure that Nancy is off-balance the minute she arrives.

All, of course, is even less what it seems than Nancy is prepared for, and she spends to game gloriously off-balance trying to keep up with the larger forces pushing and pulling her. She needs to retrace her mother’s steps, escape from certain death, dig deep into the pasts and presents of the people she meets, and do some impressive sleuthing of her own to even make the change from tool to player — and even that might not be enough to keep her safe when the dastardly minds at Revenant come a-knocking…

As a mystery — or as a collection of intertwined mysteries, honestly — SPY succeeds at what a lot of other games tried (and ultimately failed, in one way or another), which is to link all the happenings in the game together under one cohesive plot that grows more and more horrifying the more you think about it. GTH has a fandom reputation for fridge horror, but SPY holds its own easily when you consider Kate’s fatal chase, Moira’s abduction and guilt, the threats that Ewan and Alec operate under, and the life that Zoe leads on the regular.

Every action that Nancy takes benefits someone — whether it be Cathedral, Revenant, herself, or an interested third (fourth?) party — without her really meaning to, and the game is great in including another question in every reveal.

The beauty of SPY’s mystery(s) is that it takes careful reading, paying attention, and honestly replaying in order to grasp the enormity of every action. No matter how many times you play or replay, there’s something new to find — a time-sensitive conversation, an implication in a note, a theory behind the presence of a clue or a piece of (what you previously thought to be) set dressing — it honestly is limitless, and it just helps to contribute to the feeling that this is a world that Nancy isn’t meant to truly be fully immersed in.

And speaking of people who are immersed in that world…

The Suspects:

We’ll begin, for organization’s sake, with our out-and-out (current) agents first, then tackle our other suspects, then our Nancy-related people, and finish off with — for the final time in this series, as this is the last “Nancy” game — Nancy herself.

A new, yet returning character, Bridget Shaw is one of the cover identities of Zoe Wolfe — aka Samantha Quick, who Nancy impersonated in VEN and who helped the Hardy Boys in Treasure on the Tracks.

Prior to SPY, I had money for a very long time that Samantha Quick would eventually come into the game, and I was absolutely delighted with her appearance in SPY — where else would she be so well situated? Zoe is snarky, disillusioned, cynical, and sometimes downright nihilistic, but she’s also someone who took up a job that, percentage-wise, no one wants to or is able to do, because she’s alone:

“I work in the field for two reasons: one, I don’t need any help. And two, because no one would miss me if I fell off the grid.”

I love watching the ND games subvert their own formula, and Zoe is a great example of the “helper”-type suspect who really isn’t like your traditional “helper” at all. She’s there to do a job, and if sticking with Nancy helps her to do it, then that’s what she does. But she’s not there to Right some Great Wrong for the warm fuzzies of it all, or even because it’s Just and Right. She’s there because it’s her job, and her job is to play the game.

“It’ll be brief, painful, and full of garbage…but that’s life, isn’t it? And that’s the metaphor I’m riding into the grave.”

Next is our (kind of) double operative and partial culprit, Ewan McLeod (real name Sean Kent Davis) is a clever operative of Cathedral who decided that he wasn’t valued or important anywhere near as much as he should have been, and reached out to Revenant to supply them with information. Summoning Nancy to Scotland, Ewan is easily able to gain a portion of her trust as the Watcher in the Wires and is her tie to the relative safety of Cathedral.

As a culprit, Ewan is — ultimately — pitiable. Not that he’s not an egotist with a victim complex a mile wide, but when you actually look at the situation he’s in, it’s hard not to feel bad for him, even though he did it to himself. Having contacted Revenant, he’s now attempting to hold a tiger by the tail, praying it can’t eat him — and his worst fears come true, as his loved ones are threatened (“trying to keep my friends and family alive”, remember) and he’s discarded and made a target by the terrorists that he tried to use to make himself important.

Given the rather chilling threats made by Revenant, I’m inclined to believe that when we find him tied up, he didn’t do it to himself. Nancy would have noticed if the knots were too loose to have been done by a third party, and we know Revenant told him several times that if he wasn’t useful, he’d be punished.

While Ewan makes terrible choices, he’s also a pawn being played by a larger force — like everyone else in the game — and that is at least worth pity, if not forgiveness.

Next up is our former Cathedral agent and all-around tough cookie Moira Chisholm. As one of the people responsible for the events that led to Kate’s death — though no one but Revenant is responsible for killing her, note — Moira lives with guilt, regret, and a powerful sense of loneliness that only the loss of everyone you hold dear can bring.

Moira’s guilty of nothing in the present-day calamity, and helps Nancy the very best she can in her own limited power, but is ultimately a character for whom the past looms larger than the present can match. She has her hobbies, but her house is filled with memories of days when people sat on her couch and broke her teacups, not of hours reading alone.

She’s an intensely tragic character, and an example of what happens when your need to know the “truth” can get in the way of doing right by those you love. Moira lost everything to her previous job for Cathedral (who is implied to have left her, an otherwise dangerous free agent, alive because they knew (correctly!) she would become stagnant and docile under the weight of her own guilt, ouch), and yet she risks life and limb to help Nancy —not because she thinks it’ll exculpate her, but because Moira, at her core, wants to help the world, no matter what it’s taken from her.

Our final suspect is Glasgow’s resident skiptracer and unwilling pawn Alec Fell, who, along with Moira, can be traced back to Kate Drew’s death. Originally, Alec investigated a mysterious car crash — the one that killed Kate Drew — and, when he didn’t stop after a warning, had his office ransacked and burned. In the few months before the game starts, he experiences another break-in and his sister is kidnapped, with a message informing him that if he wants to guarantee her safety, to comply with Revenant’s orders.

Unlike Ewan, when pushed into a corner, Alec does his best to raise a little hell while still trying to keep his sister safe. For everything that he does on Revenant’s orders, he also helps Nancy out, finds her suitcase, locates Moira, tells Nancy where the cards are, and does his best to push back in other, little ways.

Sure Alec is guilty of a few things — most notably the fake shooting scare in Nancy’s room — but he’s a very active character, riding the rails and searching for anyone who can help put an end to this situation. It’s not for nothing that he’s a fan favorite, both for this game for the series at large, and his excellent VA and charming dialogue only make up half of his appeal.

On our Nancy side, we’ve got a few returning characters and one (semi) new one, so let’s go through them before getting (for the last time!) to the girl detective herself.

Carson Drew, father and golf model extraordinaire, is here to ground (as in steady, not punish) Nancy as she goes through this mystery. As the other person besides Nancy who was most affected by Kate’s death, Carson is an invaluable source of Kate-related knowledge, but is concerned foremost with his daughter’s safety.

For my money, the most important thing we learn about Carson here is that, well…he married the wrong woman as much as Kate married the wrong man. It’s sort of simplistic to say that their story shows that, in some cases, love doesn’t conquer all, but it’s true all the same.

Carson was happy to jet off to Scotland on occasion to visit Moira and her husband, but being happy to take vacations is a very different thing from a life constantly shifting and changing. He’s a prosecutor, so he has a strong sense of justice, but also has a strong sense of stability — he chose a career with a set trajectory and clearly defined rules.

Kate Austin, however, was a journalist who occasionally consulted for a Spy Organization when life got a little too boring (it’s important to note that she wasn’t a straight-out spy like Moira — she was far too free-spirited for that). She had all of Nancy’s inquisitiveness but more people skills than Nancy will probably ever have, and made friends easily.

It’s easy to see how she would have been attracted to the All-American, hardworking, solidly intelligent, emotionally balanced man, just as it’s easy to see how the slightly flashy, clever, inquisitive, intuitive redhead would have attracted him.

If this is starting to feel like I’m describing two other characters here…well, longtime readers of this meta series already know what happens when I use a paragraph to describe characters without using their names.

Kate is important in the game in that we’re shown her differences from and —more enlightening — similarities to Nancy. Nancy’s actions in this game are reflections on what Kate did (and what she would have done) as much as they show how the daughter diverges from the mother. And while Nancy doesn’t have her mother’s people skills or ease of making friendships, what she does have is her mother’s – and I’m going to use this word purposely — flightiness.

At the end of the day, Carson couldn’t be with Kate when she flitted off around the world, and Ned can’t be with Nancy when she does the same.

(I also find it interesting that we deal in the games only with Carson’s side of the family, and never even have a mention of Nancy’s maternal grandparents. Yes, I know Kate could have been an only child and her parents could already be dead…but I do like the possibility that they blame Carson for Kate’s death (entirely undeservedly!) and thus cut off contact. But this meta is for, well, meta, not fanfic.)

Ned Nickerson plays an important role in SPY in that he tries to help Nancy the best he can, even to the point of breaking and entering in her house (though really, it’s just entering, since he has permission) to find a document for her.

Ned comes off brilliantly in this game, but it’s important to note that his big, impressive (yet charmingly understated) speech isn’t to Nancy, but to Carson. And it doesn’t sway Nancy, it sways Carson. Because, at the end of the day, Carson can relate to lots of the pieces that make Ned what he is, and the situation that Ned finds himself in.

He’s wonderful, as boyfriends go; he calls her, encourages her, offers oddly prescient hints…but he doesn’t go with her. It’d be easy enough to make that a point in the series that, though we don’t see it happen, Ned often accompanies Nancy on her escapades, but instead we’re told — often through contention — that the exact opposite is true.

Ned is solid, true, intelligent, emotionally balanced and kind, but above all, Ned is stable. He’s enrolled in college — in an honors frat — and plays sports, attends his classes faithfully, remembers important dates…the list goes on and on. These are all wonderful characteristics for a boyfriend, but he, like Carson with Kate, ultimately isn’t what Nancy needs out of a relationship — and she is certainly not, like Kate with Carson, what Ned needs out of a relationship.

At the end of the day, both would need to compromise — Ned would need to set off with her sometimes, and Nancy would need to stay close to home sometimes — in order to make the other happy. And, well…nothing we have in any of the games says that either one would do that in the long term. Sure, Nancy returns home after the fight in CAP for ASH…but is in Egypt the very next game — immediately followed by Colorado, Georgia, and Scotland.

And honestly, this is the basis on which I disagree with Ned/Nancy as a couple. It serves neither one and, as we see in quite a few games where they squabble, they can make each other worse.

And speaking of our resident sleuth, let’s talk about Nancy Drew before wrapping up this character section.

In SPY, Nancy is — as mentioned above — a tool, used by both sides to get what they want without caring how it personally affects her. The big thing we learn about Nancy in this — and one of my favorite characteristics about her — is that Nancy is pretty ruthless. To me, it makes sense that, to get the information she wants, Nancy does what a terrorist organization tells her to because 1) it’s not her home immediately at risk, and 2) most importantly, Nancy has done bad things in the name of a good end in pretty much every game.

Lying, stealing, breaking priceless artifacts, endangering others — none of these are really new to Nancy, and what SPY does is brings that to the forefront. Sure, you as the player have the option not to do what Revenant tells Nancy to do…but then you miss out on big parts of Kate’s characterization — and, more importantly, a big part of Nancy’s.

In an unprecedented move, I’m going to reference National Treasure again, and quote part of Ben’s speech before he steals the Declaration:

“[A toast] to high treason…here’s to men who did what was considered wrong, in order to do what they thought was right — what they knew was right.”

To me, that shows us why Nancy does what she does — in SPY, and in every other game where she lies, cheats, and steals her way to the truth. She does it because, at the end of the day, Nancy is a person who is ruthless in her pursuit of her goal. And that’s a valuable trait.

Especially when one is dealing with spies, terrorists, and shady government operatives.

The Favorite:

I love most of SPY, so I’ll stick here with the things that especially stick out to me.

As covered above, I love: what this game does for the lore of the ND world; ‘Samantha Quick’; the many motivations of our suspects, and the emotional resonance that this game has.

Beyond that, there are a lot of little things. I absolutely love that they got the relative of the guy who plays Carson to play Nancy when she was little — that’s adorable to me. I love the cookie-making minigame, the outfit swap for Bridget/Zoe, the voice work for all of our suspects and helpers, and the beautiful locations (especially the spy cabin, both exterior and interior).

My favorite moment in the game is a sad one, but I’m a mercurial kind of person, so you should have really expected that. It’s actually Moira’s log/diary/letter to Kate (it functions as all three) after Cathedral deactivates her as an agent. I love a lot about it — the sad, almost desperate feeling to the words, the pen color changing as the seasons do — but nothing is better done than Moira’s last entry:

“It’s winter. It doesn’t matter that it’s winter, does it?”

My favorite puzzle is probably the zip-lining one. Sure, it’s easy, and sure, the animation makes me a little motion-sick, but it’s just….zip lines are just cool. That’s all there is to it. It appeals to the spy-loving idiot in me, and I think big-woosh-go-fast is stupid cool.

I also have to give a hat-tip to Kate’s letter — turning a fandom meme into a heartwarming story? Nik, you mad genius — and Nancy’s letter to Kate at the end. Both are beautifully written and are the perfect centerpiece to their respective characters, and both always put a smile on my face (and, at times, a tear in my eye) when reading them.

The last thing I really do have to mention here is Logan’s quasi-reappearance. I mentioned this in my “Top 5 Surprising Moments” meta, but I love, love, love that Logan is a Cathedral operative, and that he reported on Nancy during SAW. Not only does this continue to open up Nancy’s world, but it also shows that there are consequences to Nancy’s actions. She’s in rare form as far as rudeness goes in SAW, and SPY weaponizes that against her, giving Cathedral (and Revenant) a way to weaponize her feelings about her mother’s death and her — to be frank — inability to let things lie as they are.

The Un-Favorite:

There are a few things that aren’t quite my favorite in SPY, so let’s run through those as well.

First, in the common refrain of “small visual distinctions are difficult for me personally”, I didn’t like that there wasn’t enough contrast between a plain (on the bottom half) cookie and the orange/purple jelly. The shadow on the screen makes it kind of difficult to tell them apart, especially if there’s sprinkles and/or frosting on top of it, and I found that mildly frustrating, even though I love the minigame itself.

The second thing I don’t like is the option to skip the dialogue. Yes, this is present in most of the newer games, and I don’t like it in them either, but it’s especially egregious in SPY and LIE. Both of these games really rely on hints given in the dialogue (and of course, in the written materials hidden around the game) in order to get a full, clear view of what’s going on. The option is great on repeat plays, but I really do wish that it was disabled if it was your first save file on the game.

The last annoying thing is the Jabberwocky puzzle — or rather, the percentage of the jabberwocky puzzle that the player actually has to do. The puzzle as it stands feels very confusing, and the “hints” you get are quite unintuitive.

The record tells you basically how to create the encrypted message — it’s the first letter from each green word, the second from each orange word, etc., arranged in the order they appear in the poem — but when you start the poem, Nancy has already basically completed this step, and it’s up to you to do the actual decoding just through process of elimination.

It’s a puzzle of letter deduction, like in TMB and the minigame in ASH — and these are normally my favorite puzzles! — but it’s cloaked in the disguise of an encryption puzzle, and for that, it’s incredibly irritating.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Silent Spy?

The first thing I’d do, which you can probably guess based on the above section, is to fix how the Jabberwocky poem is presented. Even a bit of dialogue establishing what the player actually has to do versus what Nancy does for the player would be helpful in working through it without bothering making the encrypted message oneself, and would set the player up to actually know what they’re doing, versus the mass of confusion that comes with the puzzle.

The only other change I would make would to put in one more flashback — that of 10-year-old Nancy’s perspective shortly after Kate’s death, perhaps after the funeral. We spend a lot of time in flashback seeing Kate before her death, and I think it would add to just a little bit more of seeing Nancy’s relationship with her mother if we could see the Drew house with her recently gone.

(And perhaps, see or hear Hannah? Please?)

The Silent Spy is a game that I find, on the whole, to be one of the best that Nik penned, and certainly a fitting end to the series of “Nancy Games” that gives us a little more perspective on our teeth sleuth. There are as many moments of joy as of sorrow, but in the end the player is left with the feeling that Nancy’s world is a little better for knowing more about her mother, and that whatever else Kate did and was, she left behind a world (both in game and breaking the fourth wall) that was better — and had ways to become even better than that — than it was when she lived in it.

[borom1r]

sorry not sorry it’s so fucking frustrating to me that practical effects aren’t appreciated anymore the way they SHOULD be. “they don’t look Real” and anything Marvel has produced in the last ten years DOES????? the loss of any practical element is frustrating and Marvel in general is a depressing sign of mass-commercialization of media and things like set dressing is so important and im sure it’s at risk too thanks to the green-screen blockbuster stranglehold Disney has fucking created but that isn’t the point of this the POINT.

is that there is so much raw obvious talent that goes into character creation of any variety but ESPECIALLY practical sfx ranging from the makeup creations OF face off but especially to puppet and animatronic creation, and that’s the end of the spectrum that’s SO derided and I’d argue that’s so much more in danger. bc at least practical effects HAVE found their niche and are generally more accessible to smaller filmmakers like to some extent they will survive.

but even places that TOUT animatronics are fucking killing them. Disney!!! Disney parks and their goddamn projected faces!!!! I’m SORRY your mannequin puppet is so much more uncanny to me than anything with a beautiful articulated face!! compare ANY projected animatronic to the stunning navi created for that avatar park!!!! and if they’re not in a godforsaken massive corporate theme park then chances are they’re being derided as creepy by the vast majority of people!! like no rockafire and CEC animatronics weren’t silent or perfectly fluid but they were pieces of FUCKING art!!!!! YOU design a character and YOU build an endoskeleton and YOU fabricate clothes and fur and faces/hands for it and YOU program and sync it to perform music and YOU record voice lines for it and silly skits for between songs!!! I sure fucking can’t!!!!!

not even TOUCHING on puppets like I ADORE the muppets with all of my heart but when is the last time you’ve seen non-muppet puppet media where the Puppets Themselves are the stars and it’s available to (if not recognized by) a broad audience gogogogo!!!! I LOVE things like DHMIS and Welcome Home but WH at this time is mostly illustrations and DHMIS was an outlier. puppets are a one-time novelty or a passion project or Muppets in 95% of modern cases and it’s unendingly frustrating im going to SCREAM. and I use muppets. very specifically here. bc aside from the cancelled(!!) Dark Crystal series, the Jim Henson productions have been very sanitized (Disney. derogatory.) — yes they’re working on the FNAF film and that IS exciting and they collaborated for Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio but that’s. so little.

like I’m sorry Jim Henson revolutionized filmmaking And dark fantasy as a concept in general with Dark Crystal and Labyrinth and it’s unendingly frustrating to me to see things LIKE the Dark Crystal series and this potential, TBA Storyteller remake drug around like I barely remember DC being promoted at all let alone promoted to kids?? the target audience of the movie?? my muppet tumblr mutuals did more to promote that show to me than Netflix EVER did and it’s another case of “huh, no wonder this gorgeous piece of artistry died an unceremonious fucking death on a corporate streaming service.” and I’m tired. I’m tired!!!!!! Storyteller and the creatures created for it were EVERYTHING to me and there IS beauty in the odd and macabre and kids are SMART and the vast majority of them will be captivated even if adults aren’t!! maybe my kid brain couldn’t pick up on the nuances of the Dark Crystal but some part of me sure fucking internalized the Point!! it’s like that Neil Gaiman quote about Coraline and how adults thought it was horror but kids thought it was an adventure!!!

and ig where I’m going with this to tie it all back to the creature shop challenge is exactly what that review said: “we don’t just watch art being made, we come to understand the process” and that’s so important. that’s SO important. I wouldn’t have bought my SFX kit if it wasn’t for face off and I’m not great but I make art. and I don’t have to BE great to keep that art alive. people should have the chance to see this art being made and not just the fluffy and the cute and the clearly-for-children, and they deserve the chance to go “maybe I could do that too” and make not-great puppets and small, clunky animatronics that turn into Great puppets and Big, Fluid animatronics. and there is something very impenetrable about seeing such intricate, fluid, beautiful art but never scratching below the surface

WAIT HANG ON. WAIT IM ABT TO BE SO INSANE HANG ON

[wtfockinternational]

An article about wtFOCK translated from Dutch:

How wtFOCK conquers taboos through trial and error

wtFOCK: for one person a key player, for the other a rather strange combination of consonants. Young people can’t seem to stay away from the successful web series. The new season has started, so we can look back at the previous one. For three months many fans were glued to their screens for a sixteen-year-old’s coming-out. Did this pave a way for more and honest representation of LGBTQ+-problems, or did they occasionally stray from that path?

“‘Secret’ series wtFOCK became the most popular search term on Google in 2019”, various media reported in December. This news seemed to come as a surprise, because many people seemed to have never heard of the term, let alone the web series. And still the series could crown itself the proverbial king of last year’s Google. How did that happen?

The online series that arrived here from Norway mostly seems a hit with teenagers and young adults. In nine weeks’ time the third season got about 11.8 million online views, SBS Belgium said. In total around 400,000 young people between 15 and 34 would be watching the series.

The presumed reason for the success? Young people can follow the characters daily via their smartphones through short, real-time updates and real Instagram-accounts. So ideal in a world where watching linear television, especially for the younger generation, becomes more out of the question. Besides that the series is kept out of the media consciously, to preserve its authenticity and let young people discover it on their own. So far, so good, it seems.

Homosexual main character

Concretely wtFOCK follows the lives of young people in secondary school, where all kinds of teenage troubles don’t get avoided. Since the previous season more social problems are being discussed, too. The series tackled a topic that still hasn’t completely removed itself from the taboo atmosphere: homosexuality, a coming-out, and everything that comes with it. From absolute peaks to the sometimes painful lows we are witnesses to the bumpy road towards self-acceptance that sixteen-year-old Robbe experiences.

But is that a new thing, an LGBT-character in Flemish fiction? Florian Vanlee researches the LGBTQ+-representation in Flemish television series at Ghent University. He clarifies: “About 20 percent of productions is said to have a prominent LGBT-character. Regarding supporting characters, it’s about 33 percent. That’s a relatively large part.”

It does seem the first time that in a commercial youth television the full attention of the main character goes towards homosexuality. “It’s remarkable how instantaneously the focus explicitly goes towards homosexuality. wtFOCK is therefore a very valuable program”, Vanlee says. The question therefore arises how the new form of representation was received by the LGBTQ+-community.

About recognition and self-acceptance

Amver Maselis, a 20-year-old bisexual student from Hove, has been a fan of the original SKAM. When the series ended in Norway, she started to follow the other remakes. Therefore her interest also brought her to wtFOCK. Passionately she talks about a series which she clearly values a lot. “I’ve been following the project for several years, and despite the subtle differences between shows, the main topics are always portrayed nicely.”

Out of all the remakes she thinks wtFOCK is the best one. Then again, the Flemish version connects the most with her own environment. “Now that the series has arrived in Antwerp, in my own culture, it suddenly feels very close to home.”

It helps that she really recognizes herself in Robbe, the main character that comes out of the closet to his friends and family in his teenage years. “It touches me, because I notice that I’ve sometimes said or felt the same things. Back then it was a huge secret I kept to myself. Now I know that it’ll all be fine,” says Amber. ‘ For other young people the series could be encouraging, like SKAM was for me three years ago, when I had just come out of the closet and I has to learn to accept myself.”

22-year-old Fabio Olivieri from Antwerp seems to share that opinion. As a teenager he barely saw a gay character to which he could relate. It comforts him to know that that’s different for the youth today. Besides that he commends the portrayal of the fact that members of the LGBT-community often have to learn to accept themselves, too. “sometimes it’s hard to learn how to deal with it, to know how you feel and if you want to feel that way. That’s portrayed beautifully.”

“Do you have questions?”

So the storyline can be a comfort to youth who can relate to it. wtFOCK also consciously wants to focus on that aspect. Not only by pushing the subject forward, but also by working together with the online platform WAT WAT. This initiative of the Flemish Government is a bundling of forces of more than 70 organizations to inform the youth. Together, those organizations want to make sure that “all young people are confident and can develop their identity in a positive manner.” On the website, youth can find answers about exam stress, problems at home, but also about sex, sexuality, … you name it.

After every clip of wtFOCK the possibility to visit watwat.be is shown, “in case you have questions”. That initiative pleases Ferre Lamber, a 25-year-old man from Antwerp who remembers how he also went to the internet for questions about his homosexuality when he was younger. “Sometimes it’s just hard to tell someone directly that you’re doubting your sexual orientation. So I can definitely imagine that young people will look online for answers.”

This way, wtFOCK wants to do more than just entertain. “Even though it’s fiction, which automatically entails the aspect of entertainment, that is not the essence of our show”, screenwriter Bram Renders says, incidentally also the writer of youth series W817. “We mostly want to show the youth that they’re not alone. That element is strongly present, and it’s nice that we can convey that message like this.”

The harsh reality

Thus, the series carries an important reality, which can be harsh sometimes. Fabio isn’t sure if he can always appreciate that. “I thought that the homophobia in wtFOCK was pretty cruel sometimes. Somehow that’s a good thing, because real life is like that, too. I’ve already experienced that myself. But in series the focus is generally on all the problems gay characters come into contact with. It would have been nice to see that this wasn’t the case. It has two sides.”

One specific scene that, for the same reason, caused a bomb of critical reactions on Twitter to explode, was when gay bashing was shown shortly, but very explicitly. The choice to portray it, is understandable based on the fact that it’s still a real and current problem today. At the end of December, two LGBT-boys in Ghent became victims of gay bashing. In Het Nieuwsblad they called for other victims to not stay silent, but to report such senseless violence to the police. However, in wtFOCK it’s shown how the main character and his boyfriend decide not to go to the police.

Ferre can understand that decision. “As a victim you want to avoid even more trouble and je need the strength to do something about it. I understand that not everyone would have that. One single right way to deal with gay bashing doesn’t exist.”

Ferre is concerned by, is the way in which the show depicted the incident as a while. The scene depicts how Robbe and his boyfriend get verbally abused and attacked. It end abruptly with the two left injured. Only the next day do we as viewer get to know if everything is okay. “Two years ago, when I hadn’t been with my boyfriend for that long, we were followed, too. After, we cuddled, drank tea, and watched a series, … at moment like that you just want to be together lovingly. You want to know if everything will be okay. But in wtFOCK nothing happened on the night itself and the matter was resolved quickly afterwards.”

Criticism

So more clarity would have been appropriate. The possibilities that you have as a victim after such an incident weren’t emphasized enough according to Ferre. Especially not for a show that has the support of a platform like WAT WAT.

This is clearly not the first time that Bram Renders hears this criticism. He has already given up on reading reactions on Twitter, he jokes. Hesitantly he does admit that they could’ve handled the scene better.

��How it was protrayed, is more intense than how I imagined it during my rose-colored writing process.’  He says. ‘ That’s no criticism towards the director, because you can never know something like that beforehand. But in hindsight it would have been appropriate to show a follow-up-clip, in which they come home for example. As writeryou always have moments of which you think that it would have been better if you handled them differently; this is one of them.’

Besides that it was a conscious decision to make wtFOCK more heavy than the original SKAM. That decision came after prior conversations with people from the LGBTQ+-community. ‘According to the most people I talked to, was the internal struggle of the main character in the original version too small en was the world around him to rose-colored. So we made that world more raw.’ said Renders.

Ignorance

Then again, benefit of such heavy scenes is the awareness it brings about in viewers outside the LGBTQ+-community. “If you don’t know anyone who’s gay, then you also don’t know how we feel and how we experience certain things,” Fabio emphasizes. “I think that because of wtFOCK people can become more aware. Especially with the amount of young people that watch the series, it can provide more understanding and tolerance.”

Ferre also thinks that larger audiences are show what LGBT-people have to deal with. “Nowadays we don’t know enough about each other’s lives. I noticed that when colleagues or friends asked surprised if certain scenes are really like that, and if I’m really scared to hold hands with my boyfriend in the streets. The different seasons of wtFOCK provide good insights into different problems and how people handle them”, he decides.

Of course, purely scientifically it’s hard to determine such an impact on the audience. But intuitively speaking, that impact is already very logical, researcher Florian Vanlee (UGent) clarifies. “On one side, it can be important for people who do not meet the social standard to see their own experiences portrayed. On the other side, it can make those experiences for those who have less knowledge about it more obvious.”

New insights get subtly imparted throughout the series, but sometimes also in a more explicit manner, like in the part about the Gay Pride. At one point Robbe sneering tells his homosexual roommate that he isn’t the kind of person to dance around at Prides with “plumes in his hole”. That roommate is a more extravagant character that is mostly portrayed as support, with wise advice. He offers Robbe (but mostly the viewer) rebuttal with a short, but emotional history lesson. “Do you know that those people had to fight to be who they are?”, it sounds.

The show is undoubtedly referring to the protests of Stonewall which later grew into the Gay Prides all over the world. Something that is often forgotten, gets emphasized here: that people in the LGBTQ+-community had to travel a long and difficult path to have equal rights today and to be able to completely be themselves.

Amber thinks it’s very important for that history to be highlighted. “That people would rather die than not be able to be who they are, is the basic principle of the Gay Pride. There’s more behind it than semi-naked, dancing people, as some still see it.”

Better representation

Referring to the Gay Pride, Ferre admits to be somewhat disappointed about the type of main character in this season of wtFOCK. According to him it also could’ve been a more pronounced type for once. According to him, LGBTQ+-representation is focused on the so-called ‘mainstream’ LGBT-people too often.

At the start of September the topic got a lot of attention, when radio-dj Wanne Synnave (MNM) made the following statement in the talkshow Vandaag: “The biggest problem is that all the role models you see conform to the cliché image. I’ve never been able to identify myself in that area. I think that there’s a need for more mainstream LGBT-role models, the normal man and woman in the street. So not those flamboyant role models, which are pretty cliché.”

That statement caused a lot of outrage in the LGBTQ+-community. Many people didn’t agree, and had the opinion that there were already plenty of LGBT-people portrayed according to ‘hetero standards’. Florian Vanlee (UGent) confirms that in Flanders very little stereotypical characters are portrayed. “You could almost go so far as to say that the majority of the LGBT-characters are a sort of reverse-stereotype. For example, you will very rarely find very flamboyant gay characters.”

So television program makers represent (admittedly with good intentions) in a very general manner. “But exactly because of that, a large part of the LGBT-community are kept out of the picture”, Vanlee says. So there is need for more varying representation.

Balance

In the specific case of wtFOCK we can argue that the show follows the original format from Norway, and takes satisfaction in the extravagant gay character Milan, the roommate. “It’s hard to find a good balance”, screenwriter Bram Renders says. “In this case I thought that that balance with the ‘out in the open, take it or leave it’-roommate was enough.

In addition, according to Florian Vanlee, it’s not fair to judge individual series on those choices. “That’s not the right way to deal with what we want to see in media and popular culture”, Vanlee thinks. “Nowadays, in Flanders, it’s normal to represent LGBT-characters, for example Kaat in the soap Thuis. That was already an important step. What could be better, isn’t the responsibility of the television-industry, but also the discourse it generates,” he decides.

Finally, representation in Flemish media doesn’t just concern LGBTQ+-characters. It’s also important to look at the portrayal of people with a migration background or with different religions, for example. But wtFOCK doesn’t shy away from that either. In the fourth season, the show takes a new taboo by the horns by making Yasmina, a Muslim character, the main. It remains to be seen how the young, but critical audience will find the new theme.

[myshawningstar]

My Morphine

Summary: You are driving home from work one day in a rainstorm and lose control of your car. The world goes dark and when you open your eyes again you are greeted with a beautiful sight in front of you.

Word Count:

Request: “can u do a doctor! shawn fic? ur amazing bye ❤️”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, broken bones and car crashes as well as medical procedures.

Your car jerks, wheels gliding along the thin layer of water between your car and the road. You hated driving in rainstorms as you always had the fear of hydroplaning, yet here you were doing just that. You knew there wasn’t much you could do in this situation. You knew the only thing could do when hydroplaning was take your foot off the gas, keep your steering wheel as straight as possible, and try to slow down without using your brakes. Unfortunately for you, you were currently at the top of a hill driving down, so this only made your car pick up speed. At the bottom of the hill was a three-way intersection.

You were only a few blocks from home, a small apartment that you just recently moved into. As your car approached the intersection at the bottom of the hill, you decided that it was best if you just coasted through it; so you did. As you reached the intersection, there was a young woman crossing the street who happened to be in the course of your car. Your eyes widened, you were going to hit the poor girl if you didn’t do something. You let your instincts take over as you slammed on your brakes, steering away from the woman.

Big mistake.

You almost immediately lost control of your car as it swerved towards a lamp post, the momentum from the turn almost causing your car to flip. There’s a loud crunching, something hits you in the back of the head, and glass shatters as you are jarred to a very sudden stop. The world is spinning around you, your vision is blurred, your head hurts but it’s nothing compared to the pain shooting through your leg. You glance down to see blood all over your jeans.

“Are you okay?” The woman called, though her voice was practically drowned out by a loud ringing in your ears.

You open up your mouth to respond when you hear a loud, bloodcurdling scream. You looked around to try to figure out where the noise was coming from, but it was only then that you realized that the scream was coming from your own mouth.

 “It’ll be okay, I’m going to call an ambulance!” The woman yelled over your screams.

You feel hot, wet tears falling from your eyes as you let the pain and frustration get to you. There’s a bittersweet smell filling the air around you, suddenly you can’t breathe. It was a suffocating, sickeningly sweet smell. You knew that smell. It was Brad fluid leaking from your car. Your heart begins to race, you’re terrified that this was the end. This was how you die, in a flipped car, asphyxiated on chemical fumes and bleeding out. You pass out, the smell and the pain from your leg overwhelming you.

—

When you’re pulled into consciousness again, it’s when you hear the sound of the sirens bouncing off the walls of the large brick building in the ambulance bay of the hospital. You practically force your eyes open slightly as the doors to the ambulance open. The flashing lights from the ambulance hurt your barely open eyes and you shut them, wishing they would stop.

Once you had finally managed to block out the noise of the sirens, you could hear a voice. By the way he was speaking, you could safely assume he was a paramedic.

“Jane Doe, looks to be around her 20’s. She lost control of her car and crashed into a traffic light.” He reported.

“What’s her stats like?” A different voice spoke. This had to be a doctor, you could tell by the way he had taken control of the situation.

“Her bpm is 78 over 80, she’s been in and out of consciousness, and there’s uneven breath sounds on the left side.” The paramedic answered.

“Thank you. Page ortho!” The man called.

That’s when you saw him. The person who the voice belonged to. He was beautiful, like a Greek god.

“Let’s get her to trauma one!”

He was a tall young man with loose, brown curly hair. His face was gorgeous, sharp jawline, brown eyes, huge, yet concerned, smile. He was like a walking cliche of a hot doctor on a medical show. He has on black scrubs with a long sleeve white shirt rolled up to his elbows underneath. There is a stethoscope around his neck and a pen poking out of his pocket that was located on his peck. He doesn’t look any older then twenty five, which was only a few years older then yourself. You quickly realized you were staring, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to look away. He was like the real life version of Dr. McDreamy!

“Hey there, I’m Doctor Mendes.” Said the man with the god-like complexion. It was only then that you realized that you were no longer outside the hospital, instead you were inside a room. There were multiple doctors moving about the room, but your eyes only followed one. “You’re at New Eden Medical Center, we’re going to take care of you sweetheart.” Doctor Mendes spoke once again.

You felt your heart flutter in your chest as he spoke, he called you sweetheart. You opened your mouth, gathering every bit of strength you could muster and spoke. “Y/n.. L- L/n.”

“What’s happening? Her heart rate just shot through the roof!” A different man said.

“I can’t stop this bleeding, she’s losing a lot of blood.”

“We need to get her to surgery, stat!”

The room around you seemed fuzzy, it got darker every second. You fought to keep your eyes open as a loud, annoying buzzing sound was in your ear, almost like a heart flatlining. You didn’t want to see the beautiful man leave, but evidently, you gave in to the darkness.

—

When you returned to consciousness, you were greeted by a bright light, along with the sound of a loud, steady beeping, almost like an alarm clock.

Your eyes were heavy, and you struggled to keep them open, you didn’t know where you were. This wasn’t your house, this wasn’t your bed. Where the hell were you?!

You began to panic, looking around the room. There was a small tv in the corner, a chair next to the bed you were in. You quickly came to the conclusion that it was a hospital room. Your eyes shot towards the door as you heard footsteps approach.

“Hey there- you gave me quite a scare.”

You recognized the man immediately, your heart thudding in your chest as you looked at him. As a result, the beeping from the heart monitor you had been hooked up to quickened.

“Woah, woah. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you Y/n.” The Doctor McDreamy remake walked over to you and rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Holy shit.. you’re really hot.” You said before you had a chance to think about it.

He chuckled. “I see the meds haven’t worn off yet.” He smiled. “It’s good to see that you’re able to speak.”

“Why wouldn’t I be able to?” You asked.

“Well, we had to preform CPR, so I’d imagine your chest is sore.”

You stayed quiet for a second. He wasn’t wrong, your chest did hurt a bit, but that seemed to be the only thing you could really feel. “What happened to me?”

“You got into a crash. You’ve broken your femur, and a few of your ribs. You also have a minor concussion, but that’s all, other than your cuts and bruises.” Dr. Mendes told you.

You nodded, processing everything he had told you. It was a lot to take in.

“Do you have anyone we can call?” He asked.

You shook your head. “No.. I’m alone.”

What you said was true; you were alone. As a child you spent your life in foster homes, waiting for the day when someone would finally adopt you; but it never came. You had moved just over a week ago to this town, and you knew no one. You were alone.

Dr. Mendes frowned, nodding slightly as he sat on the edge of your bed, gently resting his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry to hear that. But I want you to know that you’re not alone. You have me.”

You let out a hollow laugh, tears filling your eyes. “I don’t even know you.” You whispered, letting the silent tears roll down your cheeks.

“I’m Shawn Mendes. I’m one of the best surgeons here at New Eden Medical Center.” Shawn told you. “Now, you may not know me well, but you know me.” He smiled reassuringly.

“I just want to go home.” You cried softly, shaking your head as you looked down.

“Hey, hey, listen to me.” Shawn spoke softly, his hand sat gently under your chin as he tilted your head up to look at him. “I know you want to go home.” He soothed. “We just need to keep you here for a few more days for surveillance, then I’ll take you home myself.” He promised.

“Isn’t that against some sort of doctor code or something..?” You sniffled.

Shawn chuckled, cupping your face in his large, calloused hands as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs.

“It is, yes. But you said yourself, you have no one, or rather, you had no one. Now you have me.”

“But what about your jo-..”

“I’ll have to transfer off your case, but I’ll be in here every second I can be. Okay?” Shawn seemed to know what you were going to say before you even finished.

“Okay..” You nodded slightly, relaxing in the man’s arms.

“Now, you should get some rest. You need it.” Shawn smiled as he slowly pulling his hands away from your face.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” You asked worriedly, not wanting to be alone again.

“Of course.”

That’s all the confirmation you needed, you smiled as you shut your eyes, sighing softly as you relaxed in the bed. “Thank you, Shawn.” You whispered.

“Of course. It’s my job.”

That was the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep.

[a-for-alternative]

sobbing was he ever nice back to Yoriko

Y was one of the last inducted in their generation, she was a part of L’s case that earned him the code names Eraldo Coil & Deneuve.

By the time she entered the project, A had long ago become acclimated to the idea of other backups, of backups of backups of backups - no longer feeling they were such an acute threat.

But Y was not like the others...

 She was slightly older, slightly more mature, who she was had the time to become more solidified - and she refused to surrender her identity for anonymity. In confidence, she would openly share her history and her name -  It was bewildering on some level to Alternative, he couldn’t fathom choosing to carry the burden of one’s past when they could leave it behind and remake themselves. 

B made sense to Alternative in that regard - he was recreating himself, renaming himself, letting go of anything that involuntarily defined him before and cherry picking what he wanted others to know. Alternative on the other hand wished he could simply be invisible, he resented the lack of control he had over what others knew about it - even when it was very little. The formalities of introduction come to feel like robbery to A because he gradually comes to recognize a rift between who he is and who he presents himself as:

“… I’m   Alternative.    Pleased to meet you.”  

 Not a single word of that feels honest.  

This feels like a robbery, handing over this identity as a courtesy to complete strangers to avoid the threat of looking impolite.

 I just wish you had the sense to know when someone wanted nothing but tight lipped acknowledgement in passing. I don’t understand what it was about my hastful gate that signalled your invitation.  

 … I know you don’t understand.

  For me, this is an act of mutilation. I am cutting away parts of myself to fit a mold, to perform a role I don’t know I want, put on a skin that I don’t know that I recognize anymore.

   Somewhere between when you knew I existed but before I gave you this name, I was  true to myself and now I am invisible.

     Alternative hangs around my neck like an indictment and I don’t want to be defined by him anymore, I don’t want him to be in every corner, leaving me nowhere to exist.

     You’re a pretty girl…  I know that must follow you around too, there are parts of your world where how people perceive you has nothing to do with you, everything to do with what isn’t in your control, wasn’t your choice.

 It isn’t who you are, and I wonder if it frustrates you too.

  In moments like these, I fantasize about reaching into my throat and tearing out my larynx, it creaking, popping like styrofoam from a tight box. 

Alternative’s feelings for Y are complex and often tinged with a strange envy. She is very true to herself and courageous in ways that A can’t find the will to be...

For the same reasons he feels an attraction to similar characteristics in B, he feels an attraction to Y. This manifests in some overt flirtation with her over the years, he sometimes wonders - if things weren’t what they are - if he would have developed a conventional relationship with Y. There is something oddly delightful and the idea of participating in hetero-orthodoxy, the thought of B being the best friend that would encourage him to pursue her, experiencing his masculinity in a way more tangible than it is now...

But their friendship is unlike most male-friendships, which often lack the degree of warmth and almost never possess the intensity that his with B has, perhaps because they have been so isolated from the normative cultural influences that might have shaped their dynamic. Their limited contact with the outside community and almost exclusive exposure to a collective of desperate origins has left them with fewer taboos than the average Brit.

   Backup isn’t a close observer of A’s life, he is an active participant in a very intimate sense... The notion of being pushed out of that probably feels like a usurpment or stolen valor.

 A’s flirtation with anyone else is often met with some volatile jealousy from B. 

 After all... B was here first. And, A flirting with anyone else feels like an encroachment on his territory, no matter how innocently exploratory.

Can you blame him? He's not unreasonable to be afraid of being replaced.

But, is A ever nice to Y? 

Yes, very much so - much to B’s distress.

[arcticfox007]

The Bishop’s Wife

Destiel December Challenge 2020

Day 12: Cookies

Thanks to everyone who has been leaving kudos, comments, hearts, and reblogging. It means so much to know people are enjoying these!

If you’ve never seen the movie mentioned in this, I’d suggest checking it out if you get a chance. There is also a remake, The Preacher’s Wife, but I grew up surrounded by Cary Grant movies so I prefer the original.

This is a continuation from days 2-11 and will be continued on day 13. 

Check out my Master Post or AO3 if you need to catch up. 

***

               Cas and Sam arrived back at the motel with both cars to find Charlie and Dean waiting in the already packed up room. Charlie went to check them out and then declared she was stealing Sam for the day. They made plans to meet up for dinner before Charlie planned on ditching them for her Christmas plans with her girlfriend. In short order, Cas and Dean were left alone putting the various stuff they’d obtained on their trip into the Impala.

               Castiel was worried about Dean. He was acting strangely and the angel thought that perhaps Dean regretted kissing him last night. Cas had hoped it wouldn’t be a problem even if Dean didn’t care for him the way Castiel cared for Dean. Dean may have just kissed him because of the mistletoe and if Cas had hidden said faux-mistletoe in his pocket as a reminder, Dean needn’t know. What Cas did not want is for that kiss to ruin their current relationship, especially when things had been going so well recently. While kissing him had been the most wonderful rush of barely contained bliss, Castiel was worried more and more that he had made Dean uncomfortable. Dean kept avoiding eye contact as they had looked over the room one last time to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. The atmosphere had been tense enough that Cas had fled the room and used the time to buy some coffee from the inn as a back-up gift in case things continued to deteriorate. Cas didn’t think he had the will to share his wings with Dean if there was a chance it would push the beautiful man further away. Eventually Cas found himself hunched miserably in the passenger seat of the Impala as the tension between him and Dean grew more pronounced.

               “Cas, what’s wrong man?” Dean’s concerned voice startled Castiel out of his spiraling emotions. He once again regretted the control he had lost over the years; feelings were still unfamiliar enough to the angel that they easily became overwhelming.

               “I’m fine Dean. What would you like to do today?” Castiel was satisfied that his voice did not betray the tumultuous panic raging inside of him as he began to wish the previous night hadn’t happened. In fact, he suspected that Dean only noticed anything at all because he knew Cas better than the others did. The thought only made the angel more anxious.

               “Uh, well, I was wondering if you wanted to check out the historic movie theatre with me? They’re showing holiday movies all day. I mean, if you’d rather do something else that’s cool. Or if you want me to drop you off somewhere?” Dean’s voice became higher pitched as he spoke, which Castiel vaguely recognized as nervousness. Cas trained his gaze on Dean’s face trying, and failing, to discern the reason behind Dean’s uncomfortable fidgeting. He wasn’t sure what Dean would prefer, and because of this Castiel decided to take the chance and do what he wished to do – stay with Dean.

               “I would like to go to the movies with you.” Dean’s face lit up at Castiel’s words and the angel was more confused than ever. He felt himself relaxing at the obvious evidence that Dean did still want to spend time with him. They fell into a companionable silence as Dean drove back towards the city’s main road and looked for whichever parking offered the most protection for Baby. It was still cold today and it didn’t take much convincing for Castiel to get the knit Christmas hat back onto Dean’s head.

               “Hey, we should turn in the angel scavenger hunt list first. We have some time before the first feature starts.” Castiel agreed easily and trailed after Dean as he led them to the bakery that had been hosting the hunt. Dean was excited when he discovered the prize for completing the scavenger hunt was a small sack of freshly baked cookies. He let Cas pick out the type, and they left the store with freshy backed chocolate chip cookies. Dean happily declared that they now had snacks for the movie as they headed down the street towards the theater. Castiel was pleased to note that whatever strain had been between them was fading away as the day progressed.

               The theater was actually a gift store that had kept some of the original rooms of the building intact. Dean purchased their tickets and insisted they immediately find seats despite the movie not starting for a bit. Castiel listened to Dean explain how you had to go in early to get good seats but he didn’t really understand.

               “Dean, all the seats are the same design.” Dean rolled his eyes at the angel.

               “Cas, it’s all about where you sit. You can’t see as well from all the way in the back and the very front row isn’t great either. You’re so close it’s hard to see the whole screen.” Castiel decided to just trust Dean on this as it didn’t make much of a difference to him. After deliberating between two different rows Dean choose one that was further in the back than his explanation had indicated would be ideal.

               “I thought you said we didn’t want to sit in the back?” Dean didn’t respond as he tugged on Cas’ coat to get him to sit down next to him. Cas was pleased to note that Dean had pushed back the armrest in-between the seats as it allowed the two of them to sit more closely together.

               “Yeah, well, there are some good things about sitting in the back. More privacy for one.” Cas thinks that over but refuses to get his hopes up. He contents himself with the feel of Dean’s arm pressed against his and quietly accepts one of the cookies that Dean passes to him. While he can’t discern much of the flavor, he appreciates the sensation of warm chocolate on his tongue as he bites into the soft cookie. He offers Dean a small smile to communicate his enjoyment of the baked good. They eat in silence as a few other groups fill into the seats in front of them. The movie, The Bishop’s Wife with Cary Grant, begins to play, and the excited chatter in the theater dies down to occasional murmurs. Dean tilts his head to get closer to Cas’ ear.

               “You’ll like this one, Cary Grant plays an angel. Honestly I would have gone with calling you Dudley over Clarence.” Cas enjoys the feeling of Dean’s breath on his ear. Metatron may have left him with knowledge of human stories, Cas isn’t sure he knows this movie. Cas wonders why Dean thinks of him more like the angel in this film and pays closer attention.

               Castiel quickly catches on to the point of the story. The idea that the Bishop has lost sight of what’s truly important isn’t an uncommon theme. What surprises Castiel is the angel, Dudley, falling in love with a human. He can tell from the set up that nothing will come of it, but he empathizes with Dudley as the angel struggles to handle his unexpected emotions. When the movie ends the theater is left in darkness during the transition to the next film. Cas’ is pulled out of his thoughts when he feels Dean’s thumb wiping away tears he hadn’t realized were there.            

               “Hey, are you okay Cas?” Cas doesn’t know what to say. He feels the hopelessness of an angel falling in love with a human. He understands the happiness that comes with just knowing that person has some measure of joy, even if it’s not with you. He remembers how different the same story had been for him, how he had turned to Crowley when Dean had found happiness with Lisa and Ben. Even now he would leave if Dean would be happier without him, but for now, Sam had said he made Dean better. He would find joy in that.

               “I will be fine Dean. Yes, I feel that I have more in common with Dudley than with Clarence but I’m curious as to why you thought so.” Dean gives him a mischievous smile, although he still seems concerned about Cas’ wellbeing. Cas doesn’t mind when Dean uses the sleeve of his flannel to clear away the last of his tears.

               “It’s obvious, isn’t it? Cary Grant is much more attractive than Henry Travers.” Cas is surprised into laughter at this statement. He happily accepts another cookie from Dean and settles in to watch the next movie. Maybe Cas’ story won’t end the same way as Dudley’s. As Dean’s hand finds Castiel’s and their fingers entwine, the angel thinks that their kiss under the mistletoe meant more to Dean as well.

***

@galaxycastiel, @jellydeans, @my-favourite-hellatus, @nguyenxtrang