#this is a reference to chapter 9 btw

[mollys-meadow]

I love making Jim say stuff that borders on being out of character like: "eat before it gets cold" or "isn't risotto your favourite?" or "it's late, you should go to sleep. i'll take care of the dishes" and being all lovely and cutesy and appealing as if he isn't the most manipulative psychopathic self-centered lying asshole that should NEVER be trusted to ever exist.

[kvroii]

what's the point of going to computers school if i'm not gonna draw weird stuff about it

[justanotherhyperfixation]

obviously - chapter 9

The pool is an ethereal turquoise glow in the otherwise dark midnight as Simon pads across the patio and down the stone steps. He’s nearly reached the edge when Wille surfaces with a slight gasp, eyes still closed as he pushes back his soaking hair. He’s tanner than usual this summer, but with the watery reflections across his skin, he looks like glazed porcelain.

Then he blinks and sees Simon, and his face settles into an easy smile. He bobs lower, as if to hide the smile under the surface. “What are you doing up?”

Admiring you, he wants to say. “Couldn’t sleep.” It’s his last night at the villa, and he’d laid restlessly awake for hours before giving up and descending to the kitchen for a glass of water. From there he’d spied Wille, swimming lazy laps alone in the pool.

Read the chapter on AO3

[pamwritessometimes]

Tuesday’s Gone — Chapter 9

Russell Shaw x Reader

Summary: When the police does little to no help to find your missing daughter, you are forced to contact Colter Shaw. What you don’t expect is how his investigation will reveal secrets about both your past and your daughter’s, in ways you never imagined.

Warnings: angsty SMUT (MDNI), some fluff, domestic Russell deserves a warning, VW Beetle-shaming (yep, it’s real)

A/N: Hey, loves. I know I've been pretty absent here, and just a little fyi; my lack of responses aren't coming from a place of ignorance. I’ve been grappling with my mental health for a while now, and right now, I'm at the bottom of the rollercoaster. But don’t worry, I’m working my way back up, just like any sane person would do: with dying my hair red. No, seriously. I’m writing this with red dye in my hair. Alright, jokes aside, I really am getting there, bit by bit. Also, I'll get to reply to everyone eventually. Thank you for your patience, ily all!! 🤍💖

A/N 2.0: Oh, btw, we’re here, folks! Jumping (almost) straight into the smut. Hope you’re ready to enjoy every steamy minute of it – because trust me, it’s a bit on the longer side. Enjoy! 😏

Title’s based on Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Catch up on Chapter 8 here

Tuesday's Gone masterlist

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The morning sun beamed in through the living room curtains, casting long stripes of light on the floor carpet as you stood, nervously drumming with your leg. It was Emma’s first day back at kindergarten since the whole kidnapping ordeal – an event you now refer to simply as “the Rourke incident.” You weren’t entirely sure she was ready, but her psychiatrist, who’d been meeting with her twice a week, had insisted it was best to get her back to normal life as soon as possible.

Two months. That’s how long it had been since everything went sideways, and since Russell had worked his way back into your life. Healing had been slow, but definitely steady.

“Come on!” Russell’s irritated voice cut through the quiet. He was out in the yard, wrestling with your car, which had apparently chosen today to stage a rebellion by refusing to start. Emma, already anxious about facing her mates again after so much time away, didn’t need this kind of drama. Neither did you, to be frank.

You glanced down at yourself for the hundredth time, brushing nonexistent lint off your blazer. It had been ages since you’d worn anything like this – at least it felt like it. The kind of outfit that screamed Yes, I’m totally put together, even if you weren’t quite there yet. 

Your first day back at work as a project manager after everything. Two months of juggling nightmares, therapy appointments, and figuring out how to co-parent with Russell, who, by the way, had unofficially moved into your house, claiming the couch,  meaning, he ditched whatever motel he was residing in before. To be fair, you were the one to offer it to him. He was practically living here 24/7 anyway.

At least this wasn’t a real workday, not yet. Just a soft launch. Your boss, who’d been more than understanding (hard not to be when your life-or-death situation made the news), suggested you start with half-days for the next two weeks. A gentle easing back into the chaos, he called it.

You called it a godsend and said yes before he could change his mind.

Today wasn’t about deadlines or meetings. It was about relearning what normal was supposed to feel like. 

And this morning was serving up all the normal it could muster.

“Is it ready yet?” you called through the open window, your tone between hopeful and pleading.

Russell stood up from under the hood, wiping his hands on a rag that must have been white once. A streak of grease marked his jaw.

“Almost there” he muttered. “Damn thing’s stubborn as a mule.”

“Stubborn like its mechanic” you quipped, earning yourself a mock glare. He ducked back under the hood, muttering something you didn’t catch but hearing the faint chuckle at the end.

Emma darted into the living room, her ridicolously huge backpack bouncing on her shoulders.

“Are we going to be late?” she asked and you could hear the worry in her voice.

“Nope, Daddy’s got it handled” you said, channeling every ounce of fake confidence you had. 

Truthfully, you didn’t want to be late either.

“Alright” Russell called, slamming the hood shut. “She’s good to go.”

He shot you a thumbs-up before opening the driver’s door and sliding in to test the ignition. The engine roared to life and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“See? Told you” you said to Emma, giving her a quick hug before letting her scramble into the backseat. You followed suit, sliding into the front passenger seat.

“I still don’t get why we couldn’t just take my car” he said, nodding toward his Chevy parked smugly beside your Beetle. “And honestly, I look ridiculous in this chick-jalopy.”

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offence.

“First of all, it’s not a chick-jalopy. It’s reliable, it’s efficient, and Emma loves it. Also, it’s cute,” you said, punctuating your point by wiping the grease off his jaw with a tissue.

“Cute, my a–”

He caught himself just in time.

Emma groaned dramatically from the back. “Can we please go? I don’t wanna be late!”

“Alright, boss lady. Bubble Buggy, away!” Russell declared, throwing the car into gear and earning a playful glare from you.

And with that, your little circus hit the road.

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The drop-off went surprisingly well. Emma, clutching her Veterinarian Barbie, marched into the classroom with a nervous determination that made your chest swell with pride. Russell had insisted on coming along, too – not that you were surprised. He’d been a constant in her life these past couple of months, and Emma seemed to soak up his presence like a little sunflower.

As the three of you walked toward the building, you bent down and pulled her into a quick hug, whispering a few last words of encouragement. She nodded solemnly, then turned and practically cannonballed into Russell’s arms. 

Watching her cling to him so naturally still took you by surprise.

You never doubted she’d warm up to him – he was her dad, after all. A figure she always asked about, a figure she always wanted. But the way Russell stepped into the role, like he’d been waiting his whole life for this chance? That was something you hadn’t expected. The man who once seemed allergic to responsibility was now the same man who played Barbies, kissed Emma’s scraped knees better, and read her bedtime stories in silly voices that always made her giggle. He didn’t let her leave the house without one of his big bear hugs, and she never wanted to. It was a version of Russell you hadn’t dared to imagine… but here he was, proving you wrong every damn day.

She lingered in his arms for just a second longer, her hands clutching at his shirt.  

“You’re gonna crush it, bug” he murmured, his voice soft.

With a reluctant nod, she finally let go, her sense of duty overriding her nerves. She turned and headed inside, her tiny figure disappearing into the colorful chaos of the kindergarten room. 

You and Russell stood in the doorway for a moment longer, watching her find her seat. She looked so small, dwarfed by the bright kiddy decorations and the chatter of her mates.

But before you could get too worried, her friends appeared like little magnets, pulling her into a circle of excited hugs. You saw her freeze for half a second, clearly not expecting the ambush, but then she smiled. That big, glowing smile that could light up a whole city block.

“She’s tougher than we give her credit for” Russell said, a touch of pride in his voice.

“She gets it from me” you teased lightly, though your throat tightened as you said it. You yourself didn’t quite believe it.

He chuckled with a warm and familiar sound. “Yeah, that tracks.” 

His hand brushed yours as you both turned to leave, and you didn’t pull away. 

“Come on” he said with a lopsided grin, tilting his head toward the exit. “I’ve got one more girl to drop off.” 

He took your hand in yours and guided you back toward your “Tiara Taxi”. You wondered how many goddamn names he could come up with for that poor car.

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By the time you got home, the house felt… off. Too quiet, to be more precise. You weren’t used to not hearing Emma’s chatter bouncing off the walls.

Kicking off your heels by the door, you loosened your blazer and rolled your shoulders, trying to shake off the weight of the day. The tension melted a little when you spotted Russell in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a mug of coffee in hand. He was freshly showered, his hair still slightly damp, wearing jeans and that old Cream T-shirt, the one he wore the day you met him at the diner you used to work at. It had more holes than fabric now, but somehow it made him look maddeningly hot.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“It was… bearable” you said, reaching for the coffee pot. “Everyone at work looked at me like I was a ghost. Honestly, I felt like one. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Emma handled her first day better than I handled mine.”

Pouring yourself a cup, you moved to stand beside him, close enough to share the space but not enough to touch. 

“Thanks for fixing the car this morning” you said, giving him a quick sidelong glance. “I can’t even imagine the meltdown we’d have had if we’d been late.”

He grinned, his eyes staying on you a beat too long, despite the teasing tone in his voice. 

“I’ll fix that Cupcake Cruiser anytime.”

And there it was again – that unspoken something that had been simmering between you two for weeks. It filled the space between every casual brush of your arms, every shared smirk. Ever since that kiss, the tension had been building, stopping only at the occasional soft kisses, lingering touches, or the way his hand would find yours without a word.

You weren’t imagining it, and you definitely weren’t immune to it. If anything, it was getting harder to pretend it wasn’t there.

“I should change” you said, your voice a little shaky as you pointed vaguely at your blazer, like that was the problem.

“You look good” he blurted out, almost before he realized it. His ears went red, but he didn’t backpedal. “I mean… you always look good, but this… this is…” His gaze slid over you like he was taking in a masterpiece, and your pulse picked up in response.

“Russ…” you started, but he took a step closer. Close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating off him like a furnace.

“Tell me if I’m crossing a line” he murmured, his voice rougher than usual, like it took everything he had to keep it calm.

“You’re not” you whispered.

That was all the permission he needed. His hands slid around your waist, tentative at first, like he was afraid you might pull away. But when you didn’t, he closed the gap between you, kissing you like a madman. It was urgent, messy, and desperate, the kind of kiss that made you forget where you were or what you were supposed to be doing. 

It was frantic and just so different from the soft kisses before.

His hands slid up your back, pulling you as close as your bodies physically allowed and you found yourself clutching at his tee like you might fall if you didn’t hold on. Your coffee, long forgotten, sat cold on the counter behind you, watching the scene unfold silently.

He pulled away just long enough to rest his forehead against yours, breath coming in ragged gasps. His highly delirious eyes searched yours, silently asking if you felt it too, the same thing pulsing between you two.

You did. 

You felt it in your bones, and it was undeniable.

Without a word, he kissed you again, but this time, slower, more like he had all the time in the world. He took his sweet time, as if he needed to rediscover every inch of you, like he’d forgotten and now had to make up for lost time. His hands drifted to your waist, your back, tangled in your hair, touching you like you were the only thing that existed in that moment. 

And for him, you kind of were.

Before you knew it, you were in the bedroom, your blazer tossed somewhere on the floor along with his t-shirt. The rest of your clothes followed in a blur of fumbling hands and breathless laughter, the weight of the past two months – and the years before that – melting away with every touch.

When he finally had you beneath him, his gaze softened, the intensity giving way to something deeper. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your hands cupping his face. “I’m sure.”

He looked down at you, his long hair brushing your face as you pulled him closer, bringing his lips to yours again. This time, the kiss was a promise: one that said you were sure, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, now your barely clothed heat just two thin fabrics away from the place where it wants to be – given you both were only in your underwear by then.

He groaned in response, his hands gripping your thighs, stopping you from rubbing yourself against his erection. 

“I’ll cream in my boxers if you keep this up.”

You giggled and popped yourself on your elbows. “I’d rather have you cream somewhere else” you said with a mischievous grin.

His laughter was sudden and rich, the kind that came straight from his chest. It was a sound of pure joy and disbelief. 

So she’s still freaky, he mentally remarked in delight. 

“God, I love you” he murmured, the words spilling out before he even realized he’d said them. He didn’t pause to dwell on his unplanned confession – he kissed you once more, but this time his hand slid to the back of your bra. It took a few clumsy tries, but when it finally gave way, he pushed the lace off your shoulders, letting it fall somewhere forgotten at the edge of the bed. 

He pulled away from your lips, taking a moment to admire the view of your perky breasts, the cool air from the AC making your nipples harden from the breeze. 

Perfect, just like he remembered. 

Without hesitation, he leaned in, pressing soft kisses along the valley of your chest before suckling each nipple, his hand gently massaging the other. The warm, teasing pressure of his mouth sent a shiver through you, drawing out a chorus of soft moans, going straight into his now desperately hard cock, unconsciously rubbing it against the sheets.

Once his mouth had given one of your nipples the attention it deserved, he moved to the other, murmuring, “So soft.” 

As your fingers brushed over familiar lines and curves, memories came rushing back like you’d just pressed play on a reel. Your palms glided over his firm chest and carved torso, stopping at the edge of his waistband. The fabric clung to his hips, daring you to go further. 

It was surprisingly easy to recollect your memories about the details of him – you could still map the old scars you knew by heart (though there were new ones now), the freckles on his shoulder and chest, the little imperfections of his body you used to love all those years ago. 

You seemed even more fascinated by them now.

Soft grunts and groans slipped from his lips as he felt your hands slip into his underwear. The hardness of his dick against your palm sent a rush of wildfire through your veins, feeling how much he still wanted you. 

Needed you, really.

But he grabbed your hand, stopping its slow movements over his member. 

“Not yet” he murmured, and though it took all his willpower, he pulled your hands out of his underwear, just to lift his head from your chest to start a slow, deliberate trail of wet kisses down your torso. Each kiss felt like a secret he was telling only your skin, moving lower and lower, until he reached the curve of your abdomen.

He paused there, pressing his lips to the spot where your lace panties met your silky skin.

His hands slid down to your hips, his thumbs tracing slow circles over the delicate lace. He glanced up at you, his green eyes still searching for reassurance that you were still on-board with all of this. 

You absolutely were.

When the lace finally hit the floor and joined the growing heap of clothes, he didn’t dive right in. Instead, he paused to just look at you, his gaze so intense it made you feel both vulnerable and powerful at once. He was looking at you like you were something sacred.

You couldn’t help it, your mind wandered. Your body wasn’t the same as it had been four years ago, not after the pregnancy. And even though you tried to push the thought away, a flicker of self-doubt crept in. Would he notice? Would it matter?

“God, you’re beautiful” he mumbled, as if reading your mind, before leaning in to press his lips against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” he added, and the sincerity in his voice sent a flush straight to your weeping pussy, soaking the sheets beneath you. He noticed, loving the effect he had on you. And the best part is: he meant every word. “Nobody compares… nobody.”

His hands stayed firm on your hips, holding you steady as he left a trail of kisses that edged closer and closer to your slick center.

Toe-curlingly teasing.

“Fuck– Russ” you gasped, your hands tangling in his hair as his lips finally found the spot where you were aching for him most. 

His tongue danced around your folds, barely using any pressure at first, licking long stripes just to drive you even wilder. He kept up the slow, teasing pace, looking up at your soft features, until he was sure he’d made you wait long enough. His hands gripped your bent legs, holding you in place, making sure you weren’t going anywhere – not like going away crossed your mind. 

“You taste so sweet, baby. Just like I remembered” he murmured, lapping lustfully at your lips.

Your needy, swollen clit ached for his mouth, his touch, anything, really, and it’s just like he heard its plea, he guided his lips to your sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking on it gently. The moan that slipped from your lips was louder than you meant it to be, but Russell didn’t seem to care. In fact, if his smirk was anything to go by, he seemed to love it, and just felt even more encouraged to be more and more daring. Bolder. Hungrier. 

He devoured you like you were the finest meal he’d ever had, like he’d been starving for years and you were the only thing that could satisfy him.

And just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, your body trembling on the precipice, he looked up at you, his face was flushed, his swollen lips and trimmed stubble glistening with your essence, looking absolutely, insanely, unbelievably hot.

"Come on, sweetheart" he murmured against your skin with a voice both rough and encouraging, like he needed this just as much as you did. "Be a good girl and let go f’me."

To help you get over the edge, he slipped one finger inside of you, plunging it in and out of your sloppy hole at a delicious pace. 

And just like that, with one final, perfectly timed and placed flick of his tongue, you came undone. Your whole body went taut, and the world blurred for a moment as a white-hot wave of bliss crashed over you and you came over his face. You didn’t have any time to overthink it, be embarrassed about it, since he didn’t stop lapping at your juices, nor the vigorous fingering of your pussy. 

He continued until you had nothing more to give, easing you back down with gentle kisses and slowly decreasing strokes. With his tongue still on your sensitive lips, you slowly floated back to reality.

When your eyes finally fluttered open, he was hovering above you. 

You could see his expression was somewhere between boyish pride and unshakable devotion.

“Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” he said, brushing a strand of hair from your damp forehead. “I love seeing you coming undone because of me.”

You were still catching your breath, panting heavily, but you managed to kneel on the bed in front of him. “Let me…”

“No” His hands gently brushed yours away from his waistband, and for a moment, your heart sank. 

Did he change his mind? Or worse – did he not want you to please him the way he’d just please you?

Sensing the hurricane of self-doubt flicker across your face, he leaned in with a soft, reassuring smile. “I want this to be about you. Last time… we didn’t exactly finish properly because–”

His words trailed off, but you both knew what he meant. Your last time together more than four years ago…. when that man broke into your home. The gunshot. The way you’d panicked and pushed him away afterward. It was a night neither of you could forget, no matter how much you tried.

“I just… want to make it up to you” he confessed. “For that night. For everything after.”

You felt the weight of his words, the sincerity in his eyes, and the softness in his touch. It wasn’t just about physical pleasure – it was about the things left unsaid, the things neither of you had been able to fix in the aftermath.

You reached up, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw as your eyes locked. 

“You don’t have to make anything up” you said softly, your words brushing against his lips. “You’re here now. You showed up when it mattered. That’s enough.” 

You kissed him, slow and sure, letting him feel every bit of what you meant. The taste of yourself on his lips just fueled the intensity of the moment. Your hands slid back to his boxers, giving the waistband a playful tug. “Now…” you said with a small smirk “let’s get rid of these before I lose my patience.”

He smiled, swallowing a chuckle, before helping you with the rest. His cock sprang free, standing tall and proud against his stomach. The girth and the delicious pattern of veins still managed to take your breath away. 

You could still remember how he felt, how he tasted… 

As his underwear hit the floor, you both knelt on the bed, your eyes locked before flicking down to his pre-cum-soaked erection. 

“Jesus fuck” you exhaled, mouth watering, your hands skimming his waist, summoning the courage to take what you needed. 

You wrapped your hand around the base, his member instantly reacting to your touch, accompanied by another strangled moan from his lips. He let you stroke him a little, his breath hitching, before he managed to ask, “Are you still on birth control?”

You froze mid-motion, caught off guard. 

“Uh, no” you admitted. “Didn’t exactly work out last time, did it?” you added with a wry smile. It stung a little to say, but it was true. And honestly, you wouldn’t change a thing – not when it meant having Emma.

Russell caught the flicker of bittersweetness in your eyes, his own softening as he started to say, “I’ve got a–“

“Bottom drawer, right side” you cut him off with a smirk, tilting your head toward the nightstand.

A laugh rumbled in his chest as he leaned back, grabbing what he needed. 

“You really are always two steps ahead, huh?” he teased, his grin widening as he slipped on the condom.

He was hovering above you, eyes locked, and yet somehow it felt like he was on the other side of the planet. 

“Are you… really, absolutely sure?” he asked, his voice a mix of doubt and desperation.

You couldn’t help but giggle again. “Stop asking, Russ. Stop second-guessing yourself.”

He smiled softly at your words and guided himself towards your slick core, the tip already nudging at your entrance. He looked down at you, giving you one last chance to back off before he let himself give in to the desire that’s been building up in him for months now. 

You nodded softly, granting him any permission he’d ever asked for. He took a shaky breath, bracing himself for what was about to come. 

Then, he eased himself in.

The intrusion was both foreign and familiar at first. He was only half-way in, but he already felt you getting tighter and tighter. 

“S’okay, sweetheart. I’ll go slow” he murmured as he soothed your skin on your thighs.

The slick from your previous orgasm helped him bottom out slowly but surely, and once he was fully seated, he let out a long, throaty moan. He stilled for a moment, eyes shut, grabbing into your bent thighs to steady himself.

“Missed you s’much… missed this…” he whispered. “Thought I’d never–“ 

The words died on his lips.

The rawness of his voice, the desperation, the way he said those words with so much honesty and regret, clutched your heart. You knew he meant it, you knew how much he had been hurting – just like you. But you also couldn't help but feel just as guilty. Most of his pain was caused by you, the way you handled things, the way you’d pushed him away when things got tough, the way you’d shut him out… It was all your doing, just as much as it was his.

Not being able to take the weight of it, you gently cupped his face, guiding him back to look at you.

You looked at him like you were about to say something that weighed on your shoulders for long, something that’ll change everything between the both of you. He sensed it, green irises burning into yours, waiting.

“I love you, too, Russ” you whispered, voice tight with emotion, afraid he might not have heard you right by the look on his face. “I love you” you repeated, louder this time, as if to make sure it was clear, and by the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you, he heard it loud and perfectly clear. 

“And I missed you, too”  you added.

That was it. That was all he needed to hear. His hips began to move as his lips elicited soft grunts and moans, his hands still holding on to your thighs, bruisingly tight. 

“God, sweetheart. Say it–” he grunted, burying himself inside of you, his tip brushing against your deepest parts. “Say it again.” 

“I love you, Russell. I think I never really stopped.”

It did it to him. He dived into you like a man on a mission. The tenderness was still there, yet he gave way to something more primal, something almost bestial. 

Squelching, lewd noises and moans filled the otherwise quiet room. The pace he was setting wasn’t necessarily brutal, but the way he slammed into you with such precision was almost too perfect to handle.

Your otherwise sensitive bundle of nerves screamed as he slipped his thumb on them, applying just the right amount of pressure.

You could feel how close you were. Hell, he could feel how close you were. The way your walls tightened and how you could barely hold your moans were a pretty good indication of what was about to come. Literally.

“Fuck- Russ” you moaned as he began to increase the pace of his thrusts, his fingers still rubbing on your clit.

“I know…” he panted, “I know… I’m- I’m getting close, too. But I need to feel you comin’ around me, sweetheart. You can let go, baby.  Then I’ll fill you up good.”

His own voice was strangled, barely holding on, but the urge to make you reach it first was still stronger.

“Let go f’me, pretty girl” he instructed, rubbing your clit just a bit harder.

The coil finally snapped in your stomach, feeling a sensation you can’t quite remember when you had last. 

“There you go. Such a good girl. Such a perfect girl. God, how I love it when you do this” he moaned and felt his cock twitch buried deep in your velvety walls. He looked down at your joint bodies and saw his dick laced with your essence, forming a creamy ring at the base. The sight itself was the thing to push over the edge.

He came with a groan, burying himself inside of you, his thighs and body going taut while he tried not to collapse on top of you. His member was suffocating in the confines of the condom, his seed still loading the rubber.

He didn’t want to move. Neither did you. The only sound of the room was your tangled breaths and the intense pounding of your hearts. He let himself lower himself once his eyes dared to creak open, finding your eyes still busking in the afterglow.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough? Didn’t I—”

You cut him off with a gentle, breathless laugh, fingers brushing his chest as you tried to make sense of the way your heart was pounding, both from the intensity of the moment and the unexpected peace that followed it.

“Russ… I’m okay. Great, actually” You smiled, your voice soft.

His brow furrowed slightly, a flicker of relief flashing through his eyes, followed by that familiar teasing grin. “Huh… You got me worried a bit. I’ve got worried it was post-but clarity on your face.” 

“No post-nut clarity here. Just... clarity” 

He smiled softly at that, then slowly pulled out of you and removed the piece of plastic, tossing it into the bin.

For a moment, he just froze, unsure of what to do next. Would it be too much to hold you? Was that stepping into too much territory?

You gave him a sleepy, amused look. “Come on” you mumbled, your voice low and slightly hoarse. “You’ve just fucked the wind out of me. You think I’d kick you out of my bed afterward?”

He laughed, the tension easing out of his shoulders. "Fair point. I just… wasn’t sure if you’d want me to stay.”

You shifted a little, making space for him beside you, your gaze soft. “Of course I do”

And so, you both just lay there. The room was quiet, the only sound your breaths slowly syncing. The space between you felt right, like it had always belonged to both of you, and the warmth of his body next to yours felt oddly familiar. Like it had always been meant to be this way. 

You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, the rhythm of each other’s breath comforting. And for the first time in a long while, you allowed yourself to just be. Because you wasted way too much time already, and you won’t make the same mistake twice.

So, it was just you, and it was just him, and the world felt right again.

This was home.

Then, your phone’s alarm went off, pulling you back to reality with an almost comical jolt. You groaned softly, smiling faintly at the disruption. You climbed out of bed, the soft tug of the sheets falling off your body as you rose. “Come on” you said with a small smile. “We have to pick up our daughter.”

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Next on Tuesday's Gone (Sneak Peek from Chapter 10, aka the Epologue)

The building the dog was charging toward was a big, brick beauty, with towering windows and a brand-new sign hanging proudly above the door. It was the final product of an ongoing battle of bad brewery name ideas between you and Russell.

You’d pitched some real gems like Hop Notch Brewery, Sweet Foam Idaho, and Shawbusiness. You also reminded him of your previous, brilliant suggestions. You were obviously just having fun, knowing it was Russell’s dream project. 

“I’m just trying to help!�� you exclaimed playfully. 

But still – Shawstopper was practically genius, right?

He, of course, was more into traditional names like Shaw & Co Brewery or Shawcraft. 

But then… you pitched the one name that made him crack. One that he absolutely hated. Hated it so much that, for some bizarre reason, he thought it was twistedly brilliant. So, here you were, standing beneath the freshly hung sign above the front door of…

“Shawshank Brewdemption” Emma read out loud, brows furrowed. “I don’t understand!”

━━━━━━━━━━✦✧✦━━━━━━━━━━━

They’re home. It feels so good to finally say that. I can’t wait to share the last chapter with you all soon.

And of course, happy holidays to everyone!

xx Pam

Read Chapter 10 here

🤍Taglist🤍

@bitchykittenconnoisseur @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @winchesterwild78 @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @zepskies @kr804573 @sebastianstangirl01 @kmc1989 @drakelover78 @amberlthomas @lomlbuckybarnes @n-o-p-e-never

[coldnstinkyjinky]

Artwork dump for my yansim fuckyandev book: Victoria and the Two 😫‼️‼️

Chapter 9 isn't the final chapter btw, these are just plans for the Finale of Act 1

Anyway here's chapter 8 doodles:

Some spoilerz if you haven't read chapter 8 yet ✨

Osano with Braces, idk

Here's the first artwork without the words

No background+bloody clothing:

The reference I used:

If you're interested on what's going on, please Victoria and the Two on AO3 🥰‼️

[damedelionn]

Hey! About emulating Nina/ Anna how do you think Johan would know how to dress like his sister? Would he have gotten outfit inspiration from when he was stalking/ watching Nina in Heidelberg? Or do you think Johan would just think about what Anna would wear if she was not forgotten/ replaced by Nina, and took inspo from that? Which do you think was Johans Muse?

Hello hello! Thank you so much for this ask, btw! I don't encounter inquiries about the characters' fashion that much. But, to answer your question, I do think that Johan derives his sense of style as "Anna Liebert" through watching and observing Nina. As seen in the images below, Nina has quite a clear silhouette and preference for her fashion — short skirts or shorts and long-sleeve top. Additionally, she often ties her scarves/shawls a certain way.

Image Reference: All images of Nina Fortner from: Monster, Chapter 9, The Girl From Heidelberg

Johan, being a master in disguise, takes note of this silhouette Nina often uses. Again, this thoroughness. I do think that, like his hair and makeup, he uses fashion to further emulate Nina. Without knowing that Anna here in the image below is in fact Johan, we can derive similarities in their style. A short skirt. A longer top or jacket. A scarf tied a specific way.

Image Reference: All images of Anna Liebert/Johan Liebert from: Left: Monster, Vol. 11, Chapter 9, The Most Frightening Thing Right: Monster, Vol. 12, Chapter 3, The Most Cruel Thing

Again, thank you for sending this lovely ask! 🤗🤗

[namesnamesandmorenames]

So I’ve been messing with (improving) the formulas in my fanfiction database as a procrastination method for schoolwork (don’t recommend) but I think that they’re all officially working in the way I want them to? Crazy anyway so I'm going to celebrate by showing a few examples of how my Summarized Metadata formula works

So, if you caught my last two posts about my database you’ll know I track a lot of information and it was mostly done in table format like a big spreadsheet- which is fine but not exactly optimized for using it on your phone. Since then I added some buttons so I could automatically update multiple pieces of information with a click and I wanted to change the way I view information so I converted things into a gallery view and have been trying to figure out how best to present the information I want at a glance including if/then statements for information I wouldn't want if something else wasn't true idk it seems like a lot but it is what I want to be able to refer to at a glance and things link to other databases if they have the little diagonal arrow (I technically could have just had all of the properties I wanted visible but that would have meant things irrelevant to specific records would be visible too and notion doesn't have the ability for properties to be displayed horizontally so there would also be more white space than I want with numbers displayed in a line without indicators—)

Btw those previous posts are what happen when I hyperfixate on my information organization (pre-cataloging) course and this is what happens when I jump off the deep end after my programming course is too basic but I started hyperfixating on it anyway!

Anyway here is what the Summarized Metadata looks like (these also double as fic-recs if you happen to be in the 9-1-1 fandom!)

@cal-daisies-and-briars and @schrijverr are both really amazing creators in the fandom BTW so if you haven't read any of either of their work I can genuinely say I recommend all of it!

And I’ll show you one more fic I just finished and highly highly recommend because I was following it and the creator just completed it! @memequeme

Time for sleep now!

[aealzx]

Excuse me while I doodle something that popped into my head reading the most recent stuff I've read for Twin Signal.

There's a point where after having Signal call them brothers a few times Pulse responds "I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but don't make me your brother without asking!! I don't remember having a 'little brother'"

Which is honestly fair because Pulse was over seas with Nobuhiko's parents when Signal was made and never heard about him until he got kidnapped and reprogrammed to specifically go hunt down Signal and kill him |D

Also no I didn't color Signal's hair wrong XD Earlier in the story he has blue hair and a red jacket. It changes color later because Mira (the really freaking awesome stuff he's made of) just does things like that.

BTW you guys can look at the manga here, but it’s only in Japanese. (Yes I am stubbornly translating it myself just so I can read it. I’d be happy to share, but it’s literally sticky notes in hard copies and I dunno how to share that ;v; )

And then just because chapter/episode 9+10 stabbed me in the feels I'm gonna gush about the story/characters and nuances of japanese below the cut.

Okay, preface this with the fact that I’ve only had 2 years of Japanese in college, and this is my first time trying to translate anything. I might be wrong on some things, but this is just me rambling about how much I love the nuances you can get with the JP language compared to english.

I just got (mostly) through the part where Pulse is introduced, and first of all Signal had no idea he had a prototype, and his first response is adorable in itself with him immediately going “In other words, he’s my older brother” using “Ani” as the term for “older brother”

Which is cute in itself. Boy's latching onto someone he's never met X'D And throughout the chapter/episode when referring to Pulse he keeps using “Ani”, “Pulse”, ”Sibling”.

But after finding Pulse (who has been reprogrammed to want to kill Signal), Signal switched to “Niisan” when he’s talking about how it makes him sad that his older brother is being controlled by a cheap program. Which the difference is “Ani”/”Aniki” is usually a more like… formal/semi distant way to refer to your older brother, while “Niisan” is more affectionate and generally used by children. It's like using "Papa" instead of "Father" and I just ahadlfhajsdfladf Signaaaalll why are you being so cute QAQ

And there’s even more in this chapter!!!

He refers to himself as Pulse’s little brother, and feels responsible for stopping Pulse.

And later, Nobuhiko gets in danger from the fight and Signal instantly goes to protect him but leaves himself open as a sitting duck for Pulse to attack.

And Pulse asks him why he would do that and instead of answering something about Nobuhiko being a human and Signal being a robot and therefore Nobuhiko is more important, or that it’s just his job since he was programmed to be Nobuhiko’s older brother, he says “I’m programmed to be Nobuhiko’s older brother - But more than that! Nobuhiko is my brother, my little brother!!”

And I’m just over here with my butter heart melting uguuuuhhhhhhh TVT I'm such a sucker for brother characterrrrs~

And reading all this together I can help but think- Signal??? Boy??? Are you just secretly wanting a big bro too that’ll keep you safe like you do for Nobuhiko?? Is that why you latched onto Pulse so quickly??? Adjkfahsdfkasd

These boys qVq I love them

[irldiancie]

All Kagehina “proof” I know of

Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me. i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it anyways lets just get into it

ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff 1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together

theres like a 1000 more of these btw theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them

I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so 2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want video of it here 3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know 4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course 5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this

he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata. teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.

(credits to triananero for these images) and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them 6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10 moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official 7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO 8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share proof it exists btw AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT 9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing

and then there's this

And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #12

This week we're taking a slight detour from the main chapters of PKNA to read the very first PKNA Special Issue: Missing! (Which came out in 1997 alongside the release of Silicon). This chapter is basically the equivalent of an anime OVA where we get to see the various characters just kinda hangin out and doin stuff outside the main plot, which I think is fun!!

Oh boy haha can't wait to see which of the colorful cast of characters we'll be focusing on fi-

OH NO

No cause like she fuckin got his ass here. I think if PKNA took place in 2024 then Angus Fangus would have a verified account on twitter and every time he posts about PK there would be people in his replies like "oh rent must be due" just roasting the shit out of him. And they would be right too.

Bro AI generated a photo of PK stealing ice cream from a child 😭

Woah dude that's crazy. Could you imagine like, an evil toy manufacturer? Like some sort of toy-based villain. Maybe one that hates video games and dresses like a clo-

DID HE JUST KILL HIMSE

oh nvm there was a balcony. dammit

THEY WHITEWASHED ZIGGY?!??!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO

See I TOLD you it was the anime OVA, they're at the beach and everything! Just look at that FANSERVICE!

I'm talking about Camera 9 in his little beach outfit btw. What did you think I meant? Lyla? What does this have to do with Lyla

So PK is missing and her first instinct is to go and check the jail 💀 I mean I can't say that he WOULDN'T get arrested by the time police I just think it's really funny

Screaming wait I love overly-confident Lyla

he's died

So Camera 9 won't talk to her and she PULLS A FUCKING GUN ON HIM. Cop moment.

...wait wasn't Camera 9 wearing shorts earlier? Where did his shorts go???

UNOOOOOOO HI UNO

"biological associate" is a really fancy way of saying your boyfrie

No cause like I'm obsessed with the resolution to this story. Dude kept his grudge for 250 years, get fucking owned Raider.

Bro shows up for two whole panels just so he can manspread and make a cheeky time reference. I'm exploding him with my mind.

AAAAAH EW OLD MAN JUMPSCARE shoutout to the picture of HDL though

WOW how lucky for Xadhoom to have found an entire thriving colony of her people!!! So happy for her :)

Also PK is there too for some reason

SHE'S SO HAPPY IT'S MAKING ME DEPRESSED

Yeahhhh they really didn't think this one through did they

WAIT THE NEPHEWS ARE HERE?? WHEN DID THEY GET BACK FROM AFRICA

WH- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS COMIC YET??

You gotta love them dedicating a story to two random Evronian goons and then having it end with both of them just being murdered by Xadhoom. Like they never EXPLICITLY say that Xadhoom is killing the Evronians when she fights them but we all know that's what she's doing right.

Gotta love Donald vanishing off the face of the Earth so he could fuck off to Tibet with Everett Ducklair 💀 Levitating would be a useful skill to have if he didn't like immediately forget how to do it after this oops

Anyways that's all for today. I really like the PKNA special issues they're all really fun and silly and nothing bad happens in them ever!! So look forward to reading the next one in uuuh idk like 10 more issues or something?

[kuzure-collapse]

ik it just came out (which: btw, i loved the art and the questions + answers sm), but im already so curious abt the process with creating the quiz and how you assigned some of the answers to characters (besides the gimmes). do you mind walking through a bit of lore or explanation for some of the question and answers!?!? ❤️

I started drafting the quiz around the time I got back to editing/revising the LoBro drafts and posting chapters. I spent a lot of time on it because I didn't want certain questions to be too skewed to one character while still keeping in mind that some characters have overlapping traits. Although, based on the recent results...either my quiz was still flawed or a lot of readers happen to be perfect matches for yanagi (poor satsuma has barely hit 20 while the top three have surpassed 100).

I theorize that if you're a perfect match for guys like Satsuma, you're probably not chronically online enough to encounter my fic anyway. During my time drafting this post, I went back and edited the quiz to help our boy out a little more.

There are questions that I want people to answer honestly and freebie questions where I allow people to choose based on what result they want. I'll go through my approach to each one without spoiling too much.

1- joke question, answers describe their builds

2- i thought love language was an important thing to consider. it's revealed in the results which language each character has as their main one. i hint it very subtly in the story. Tomohiro and Satsuma are pretty obvious but I was initially unsure of what I wanted for Kotose and Yumeki. So their signs of love language are pretty vague in early appearances.

3- a few answers were overlapping and some were specific to one character. i wanted each result to have the same number of options linked to them, so i had to think of shared traits for the overlapping options. these were the questions i had to revise a lot. it was hard finding good traits for mc.

4- same as 3. you gotta take the good with the bad.

5- many overlapping options. some are hobbies that the LI does and some are hobbies that the LIs would find attractive in someone.

6- cliche favorite color question referencing the color themes of the characters

7- another question about what you find attractive. clothing is a way of expressing oneself so i feel it does kind of indicate personality and style. you want to have an aesthetic that works with yours after all. if you picked "i prefer him naked" or any options in the quiz that make you sound desperate, you'll get MC

8- sibling status was a hard one. if you are an older sibling, I matched with someone who would prefer a mature and leaderly partner. if you are a younger sibling, you got someone who is the mature and leaderly partner. if you have brothers, you were paired with more masculine LIs. if you have sisters, you got more feminine LIs. The other options were filler to make the numbers even. don't read into it too deeply

9- ideal dates are explained in this ask

10- each LI got 2 options for music. i didn't want to overcomplicate things by having overlapping choices, but there were a few exceptions i made for the sake of satsuma after editing. I've considered expanding upon their music tastes in a future post.

11- internal struggles that each LI experiences. a perfect match would be able to relate to their sadness. if you have a good understanding of each character, you might even consider it a freebie

12- because i mentioned that yanagi was kinda based on cartman. I divided the choices based on how similar the SP characters were to each LI, though some were just there to even up the numbers

13- a freebie. i mentioned who each of the LIs were based off of in this post, so the images were hints at who it could be (if people didn't already guess based on the personality)

14- how each LI would deal with an attack. yanagi's option references a joke from the early chapters

15- freebie

16- freebie. new question added so that anyone who was frustrated with their result (likely people who got mc/yanagi) could have another chance to change it (and get satsuma)

A sister quiz is in the works. Hopefully the results will be more even ahaha

[hpowellsmith]

You mentioned that we can choose for things to go slower in relationships. I actually thought things were going pretty slowly already, but maybe I've missed stuff. I've been actively trying to get into FWB scenarios and keep getting rejected and/or nothing happens. Maybe I just don't have enough points with those characters? Or they don't want FWB? The latter would be weird for Denario though since I already chose the option that we were FWB before.

(this ask is referring to this post where I mentioned some of the different relationship dynamics/pacing for the Honor Bound romances)

This is interesting! Basically I made that note on the post because of a comment or two I had saying that it felt early to have early romantic talks with characters - but those talks are responsive to the PC showing they're interested in the characters, so if a PC wants to play it more slowly, the way to do it is to hold off the outward flirting.

But if people want to fast-play it a bit more, spoilers below:

Fiore and Savarel can get into relationships with an aromantic PC, but are not interested in a purely casual/no-strings relationship and want to build some sort of emotional bond. So far, that comes up in conversation with Savarel.

Raffi and Matia are into FWB and/or no-strings if the PC is (or more romantic relationships too): you can sleep with them in Chapter 3* as and keep things casual. That can continue for as long as the player wants, as they're happy with that kind of relationship. You can have some makeouts in Chapter 5 with Raffi or Matia too**. With Denario you can also sleep with them in Chapter 3***; you need to kiss him in Chapter 3 to open that up. At the moment there isn't a point where you can precisely define a Denario relationship because it's all a bit spontaneous-snatched-moments and Denario isn't really thinking any of it through.

Korzha will do FWB - or colleagues-with-benefits - but they don't go for anything non-professional early on in the game because they need to overcome some internal stuff around it first.

You may have been rejected/asked to wait by Fiore or Korzha, but that's not related to relationship types or points, it's just where they're at in this point of the game. Denario doesn't reject you unless you reject him via telling him that you argued against him getting help at the town meeting. Savarel also breaks things off if you do that (which as of March 10, I've tweaked to make clearer when making that choice). Later on, other things will come up that are dealbreakers for some characters even for casual relationships.

The conversations about aromantic and/or casual relationships are something I'm going to go over again, probably more than once, when I've got the full draft down to make sure I'm writing it in a way that matches my intentions and that there are multiple opportunities to have them. Similarly, the way aromantic relationships are framed in the game is very much in-progress, especially later in the game where there may be more trust/closeness in various ways that aren't necessarily romantic. At the moment the Denario kisses etc are behind a [Start Denario Romance] tag which I'm not totally happy with because it may not feel quite right for an aromantic PC... but I do want to tag those options with something to show "this is an option opening up something other than/in addition to friendship" and it's a bit hard to accurately summarise in such a small number of words.

Btw until Chapter 8 onwards, relationship scores are used to flavour interactions and occasionally branch things rather than blocking things off; there is some stuff with Denario which changes based on scores, and to be in a more serious relationship with Fiore (as opposed to lighter dating) you need a decent relationship score with Catarina by Chapter 9. But usually scores will affect things like how successful you are at persuading someone to do something plotty, asking for help, convincing them that someone they trusted before is up to no good, etc.

*To do this, you need to have signalled in some way that you're interested in them either before or during the Chapter 3 campfire scene

**To do this, you need to have signalled that you're into them before or during Chapter 5, though you don't have to have kissed or slept with them before that point

***To do this, you need to kiss him in Chapter 3 and progress things further from there

[annymation]

It's been awhile since I've done an ask in tumbler but it's time for me to slowly get out from my shy box. Anyways, these are questions for Aster:

1. How easy is it to earn his trust?

2. How easy is it to earn his mistrust?

3. Would he prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

4. What memory does he revisit often?

5. How easy is it for him to ignore flaws in other people?

6. How sensitive is he to his own flaws?

7. How hard is it for him to shake a sense of guilt?

I hope these aren't too much to ask, i'm really really curious about Aster as a character 😅

1. That’s a tricky question because it really depends on the person he’s interacting with, since he can see people’s star’s, that is, their deepest desires and essentially their soul. So for example, he took one look at Magnifico’s star, that was actually a black hole, and now he doesn’t trust Magnifico’s at all, sure he might get tricked by the guy but he would never trust him. However, even people with good in their heart can do bad things, but Aster kinda blindly trusts people that have bright stars. So I’d say: if you’re anyone other than King Magnifico and Queen Amable, then yes it’s very easy to earn his trust.

2. Okay, let’s say you’re someone with a good heart and you did something bad to Aster… They’ll most likely still trust you later if you apologize. Aster sees the best in people and believes everyone can do better, so I’d say you’d have to screw up REEEEEAALLY badly to earn his mistrust, it’s very difficult.

3. Hmm that’s interesting 🤔 I’d say he’d prefer an unpleasant truth, although he omitted the truth about him knowing Asha her whole life for most of the story, Aster hates lies, that’s actually something I was gonna implement in the story as “A star thing” like, Aster would mention all stars hate lying, as a reference to how the Blue Fairy made Pinocchio’s nose grow every time he lied. And that’s also why he hates the king and queen so much, they always lie. Also, no matter how unpleasant a truth may be, he’d probably find the bright side in it.

4. His memories are mostly from watching people bellow, and mostly watching Asha. I’d say his favorite memory is seeing Asha reading story books with her grandfather, she did it often, but he loved listening to the fairytales.

5. Really easy.

6. I’d say he’s sensitive about them, but not too much, as in, they manage to work through them, but when the insecurities hit they REALLY HIT.

7. Aster hasn’t shown it that much but he still feels guilty about how that plan he had about singing at the plaza (chapter 9, which btw you guys should revisit, I updated the song they play, now there’s ACTUALLY a song and not just me describing it) so yeah he feels guilty that the plan kinda backfired, and he also feels guilty for not realizing Asha got captured right behind his back, those guilts are still in him, but he doesn’t let it show since he internalizes it all a lot, I was gonna make him show that guilt more in chapter 12 but then I realized that was too much of a downer and would make it feel like Aster was making himself more of the victim than Asha, when they both equally went through a lot. So I decided to keep those feelings of guilt more subtle and implicit.

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 8!

(Full disclosure, I learned that TGC can sing around the time I started writing this series, and that definitely inspired singing artsy Aegon. I am still distraught about his band going “on a break.” 🥺)

For this chapter’s title, I picked the Mother lyrics from “The Song of the Seven” because it’s the childbirth chapter. The moment we’ve all been waiting for!

Joff’s hand is bandaged at the beginning of the chapter because she’s been messing around with the glass candle. Of course her loyal assistant Daeron knows about it, and he doesn’t entirely approve of her methods.

BTW I often cringe when people in fantasy stories casually cut their palms for spells and such, because your hands have a lot of muscles and nerves, so it hurts a bunch and takes a while to heal. I thought about having Joff take blood from a different body part that isn’t used all the time. Then I remembered the point of blood magic in this universe is pain and sacrifice, and I could see the magic refusing to accept blood from someone intentionally trying to avoid pain, and it only works if it hurts. So here I am, using the trope that I used to always complain about 😅.

Despite everything, Jace would not approve of Elinor’s hand being cut off, so people have been avoiding telling her.

Jace thinks Gyles is suffering at Dragonstone, but this is actually an improvement! He used to make a heckton of pies at the Red Keep, but now he only has to cook for one person. So he’s getting paid the same to do 1% of his usual workload, and he gets to be creative since he has to change the menu every meal while ensuring Jace eats a balanced diet.

Luce dresses extra neatly and arrives early so people don’t suspect she was canoodling with Aemond the night before, but this is so out of character for her that Jace notices.

During breakfast, Luce tries to play it cool and ignore Aemond while he stares at her. They had this exact same dynamic in Chaoter 9 of the Handbook, during the post-wedding breakfast. They really need to coordinate a better system when they have something to hide 🤪. (100% inspired by Aemond’s intense staring during the show when he looks at pretty much anybody.)

If Aegon and Aemond get to have sibling telepathy, so do Jace and Luce.

Luce’s rose garden reference is a callback to Chapter 1, when it’s mentioned that Aegon got handsy with Jace pre-wedding while Daemon was stalking around the hedges. Technically, Jace and Aegon were already married for years because of the elopement, and that’s how Jace justifies letting Aegon take liberties. He was already her husband so why not? 😉

Absolutely nobody expected Jace to serve as chaperone, but she blames herself anyway (as usual). If everyone wasn’t so worried about Jace’s health and if the trip preparations weren’t so hasty, I’m sure Alicent or Rhaenyra or Daemon would have insisted on sending an actual chaperone with the group.

The Episode 8 last supper bit where Jacaerys pathetically punches Aemond, who isn’t fazed at all, inspired the scene with our Jace smacking Aemond with a sandal (la chancla!). In this universe, however, Aemond can’t retaliate because Jace is a pregnant woman. He has too many chivalrous notions to strike a woman (and nobody would let him anyway). Luckily for Aemond, our Jace isn’t very strong either.

Baela has been corresponding with Cregan the last few months. Not so frequently that it raises eyebrows, but often enough that they’ve gotten to know each other better. She definitely sent a letter of condolence after Sara died, so she’s expecting a response. Unfortunately, Cregan is not reacting well to his sister’s death, and it feels like the latest in a series of Starks getting screwed whenever they interact with Targs. Jaehaerys and Alysanne made the Starks donate land to the Night’s Watch who neglected it, Jaehaerys showed mercy to rebels which led to Walton Stark’s death, Rhaenys arranged for a Stark daughter to marry Ronnel Arryn (who was usurped and thrown out the Moon Door; his wife and children probably weren’t spared either), and there are probably still some complicated feelings about Torrhen kneeling to Aegon I. Now the Northmen probably feel the Targs caused Sara’s death too, so Cregan, who is also grieving, backs away from Baela and arranges to marry a Northern girl.

Rhaenyra deliberately omits news of the Baratheon betrothal in her letter to Jace. Like everyone else, she’s trying to reduce Jace’s stressors.

Aemond’s letter has the king’s personal seal. He’s confused why Viserys would bother writing to him.

Aegon’s letter is most likely from Alicent, and it mentions something about the Baratheons. I don’t think Alicent explicitly reveals the betrothal, but there’s enough detail that Aegon figures out something is fishy. He has a good poker face when he chooses to use it, so Jace can’t tell what his reaction is.

Aemond leaves because he wants to yell at Viserys, and Luce follows to stop him from getting in trouble. They’re gone all day because they stop somewhere along the Blackwater to argue about what to do, and eventually Luce convinces him to come back to Dragonstone. When they return in the middle of the night, Aegon sneaks out to get the details from them, and that’s when they all agree on a cover story to tell Jace.

Aegon is constantly checking Jace’s pulse because he’s worried about her anxiety 😮‍💨.

Luce is trying very hard not to cry during her convo with Jace. Normally Jace is the first person she confides in about this sort of thing, but she can’t right now 😢.

Jace has a PTSD flashback, and she instinctively/inadvertently uses grounding techniques (mostly centered on Aegon) to get out of it. Westeros doesn’t have much psychological understanding or vocabulary, so I imagine a lot of conditions/symptoms get swept under the category of “madness.” Jace doesn’t entirely know why her brain and body are acting the way they do, so she worries she’s losing her mind.

I’m not a doctor so don’t quote me, but based on my amateur internet research, stress and trauma during pregnancy can cause preterm labor, and Jace has experienced a lot of stress and trauma. I was determined for Cheeseball to be born healthy, so I made him born around 37 weeks/3 weeks early. Not too early, but he’s cutting it close in a world without NICU equipment. I also read that babies born early are likelier to be breech, presumably because they’re on the small side.

Pregnant women sometimes begin “nesting” when the baby is imminent, so Jace spends the morning organizing the baby knits. And the baby might be less active than usual right before labor, which Aegon notices.

Joff is using her little hourglass to time Jace’s contractions 💀.

Jace is telling herself to be brave because “a woman’s battlefield is in the childbed,” or however the saying goes.

Why does Joff know so much about different types of fire? Because she and Daeron were trying all the different ways to light the glass candle on fire 🔥.

Rhaenyra still has unresolved trauma from Aemma’s death, so she decides to keep Aegon from the birthing chamber out of fear that he would make the same choice as Viserys if something goes wrong. When the maester and midwives are debating what to do, Rhaenyra thinks, “of course we’re saving a Jace, she’s my daughter, we aren’t killing her in the hopes of a male heir.” She overcorrects in the opposite direction as Viserys, not realizing she’s acting kinda similarly by taking the choice from Jace. By Westerosi standards, Rhaenyra is also overstepping because the expectation is it’s the father’s right to decide, certainly not the baby’s maternal grandmother’s right. Alicent thinks Aegon deserves to be in the room and have a say in what happens, so she fetches him regardless of Rhaenyra’s feelings.

I did a little reading about the history of childbirth (skip this bullet if you might be squicked by details, though I’m not going to be graphic). A child in breech has always been a big concern but isn’t necessarily fatal; it has higher odds of being injured in the birth canal, or being strangled by the umbilical cord. If the baby really does get stuck, there are ways to extract it to save the mother, but the baby almost certainly dies (and it’s quite awful how they take it out). And historically, the mother was actually chosen over the baby quite often until some church reforms happened and pushed for the baby’s survival via C-section, which had very high odds of killing the mother. So I have a lot of conspiracy thoughts about whether Aemma really was beyond saving in Episode 1, or whether the maester just told Viserys that so they could try to get the baby 🧐.

I feel like Jace could have convinced Aegon to pick the baby…and then Aegon would spend the rest of his life depressed and drinking himself into an early grave 😔. If he were somehow forced to remarry and have more kids, he would be Viserys 2.0 and favor Cheeseball over any children by his second wife. Thankfully, that didn’t happen in this universe!

I know people have a lot of questions about what Joff did with the candle, but I have to save a lot of that info for future fics! Just bear in mind that like it says in the fandom wiki, glass candles are supposedly able to give its wielder visions and dreams. I also gave the candle some qualities as an arcane focus, like in D&D. Oh, and I read on a fan forum speculating that the glass candles might be like palantirs from LOTR, so there’s that. And here, Joff uses Aegon’s blood for the ritual because he’s the baby’s father, so there’s a strong connection she utilizes to coax the baby out.

Joff puts out the candle right before the others come into the room, so nobody except Jace and Aegon (and probably Daeron) know that anything magical was involved.

During the Middle Ages, birthing rooms were kept warm and sealed because they were afraid a draft/the cold would be bad for the mother and baby. But Jace is both a Targaryen and a Velaryon, and she wants to hear her dragon and the sea, dammit.

“The sun wishes to meet the sun.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist making a pun with sun/son.

Royal and noble women overwhelmingly prefer using wet nurses (partly as a status symbol, partly so they can get back to conceiving more heirs quicker, partly so they can focus on other duties). But the ASOIAF-verse does have examples of royal and noble women breastfeeding (see some of the citations on that page if you want to dig in), including the original Queen Rhaenys. So Jace breastfeeding her child is very unusual but not unheard of. And I wanted to give Jace the psychological benefits of breastfeeding, since she’s been in a shaky mental and emotional state.

Babies and children die super easily in the pre-modern world. Just look at how many of Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s kids died super young! It’s why Aegon’s second nameday was such a big deal in the show; he survived infancy, which was the most perilous time. That’s why Jace knows that despite producing a son, she and Aegon will be expected to have more kids. It’s too risky not to.

Since we’re already bringing in LOTR with the palantir vibes, I decided to add some One Ring vibes too. Aegon senses some bad juju from the candle but he’s not magically inclined at all, so he shrugs it off. Jace isn’t super into magic either, but she’s mentally and emotionally vulnerable so the candle taps into her weaknesses more easily. I’ll probably flesh out the system more in the future Joff fic.

The culture of chivalry and courtly love seems to be strongest in the Reach. Daeron picked up on the art of giving flowery compliments while he was there. Unfortunately Joff doesn’t care about that sort of thing.

Daeron knows the candle isn’t entirely “good,” but he’s too used to following Joff’s example and doing whatever she wants. This is probably going to be part of his character arc.

Aegon, in his best Ron Swanson voice, to Dragonstone’s gardeners: “You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of roses. But what I said was: give me all the roses you have.”

The lyrics in Cheeseball’s song convey the sentiments that Aegon wishes he’d heard from his father growing up, and now Aegon is ensuring that Cheeseball hears his own father say/sing those things every day 🥹. And Aegon makes sure to put both Targaryen and Velaryon references in the song to commemorate Jace’s family.

Chapter 9 commentary here

[onlyjaeyun]

also i feel like i have to mention this now: in CH sunghoon has an older brother which is the golden child he referred to in chapter 9. i have yet to think of a way to incorporate him but you guys can absolutely send me your ideas and theories 🤭 btw hoonie has a super bad relationship with his dad but he gets along okay with his mother, who left her family when hoon was 8 because she wanted to focus on her career and his father wouldn't let her. he never resented her for it bc he understood and has stayed in contact with her ever since.

[patroxlos]

Hello! A few days ago I left a super long comment on AO3 when I finished reading all of "Home base" so I was just stopping by to tell you again that I love you and I love every word of your fic it's wonderful work and I can't wait for the next chapter wait is a torture 😭 btw, you made me feel inspired enough to write a Ken x reader oneshot so I thank you for getting me out of my block. I hope you are well dear, take care! Ilysm 🫂💖

thank you so much!!! I’ve seen all your comments and replies and it actually motivates and inspires me also to keep the fix going :(( I hope you’re well as well let’s keep each other in this Kenji brainrot together

Rah Chapter 9 is taking so long because I’m getting last minute slammed in the face by all my deadlines 😭😭😭 hoping for the best …

I think one thing I can say about it is that find interesting in Ch9 is when I switch to referring to Ken as Kenji. Throughout the fic I call him Ken in the text but when they’re more emotionally vulnerable/on the same wavelength, calling him Kenji makes more sense.

Anyway yipee…link me your fic when you’re done !!!