#this is a lot of words but i needed to get it out there

[odoraful]

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬)

it's date night and the boys react to you wearing a new dress

⟡ content: zayne/sylus/xavier/rafayel/caleb x gn!reader; established relationship; complete & utter fluff; compliments & showers of affection; dresses are described (i had dress references that i thought would suit the boys' vibes hehe, but feel free to picture whatever dress you want!); ~0.5k words per scene

⟡ a/n: my first time writing for caleb GASP! it was very fun to write him but, admittedly, i don't own all of his cards (the struggles of f2p 😞), nor have i done all of his memoria/other content, so i hope i was still able to do him justice! 🥺

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𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄 ⟡

Subconsciously, Zayne rose from his seat as soon as he saw you. His body somehow told him that appreciating you whilst sitting down was a horrible injustice. It was true, though. Standing gave him the proper vantage point to admire your outfit. The way the smooth white material draped around your curves and flowed down to your ankles, the fabric turning sheer near the hem. Blue watercolor-like flowers were scattered across the dress—the softness of it all made it seem like you were a walking dream. A silvery necklace rested against your collarbones, matching the teardrop gemstones that dangled from your ears.

You were still in the middle of adjusting your earrings when you walked out, not paying any mind to the effects your entrance had on your enamored partner.

Zayne’s lips parted, the air seemingly sucked from him. He blinked multiple times as if he were trying to see whether you were an illusion.

It was no trick conjured by his mind. You were real, you were his, and you were stunning.

Finished with your earrings, you looked up at him with a smile. It took every ounce of will for Zayne’s knees not to buckle and fall back onto the chair.

“I’m ready to go now,” you said, walking over to him, your heels giving a dull click against the hard floors.

“It’ll be a bit colder tonight,” was all Zayne could muster saying with most of his thoughts entangled by your appearance.

Your face immediately fell into a pout. With a disappointed sigh, you hung your head.

“Alright, I’ll go get something to cover up…”

Before your feet could even move to walk away, Zayne’s hands snaked around your waist. A short gasp fell out of you.

Beneath the thin fabric of your dress, you could feel the press of his cool fingertips. He held you in place with a firm grip, his body flush with yours. His lips brushed against the shell of your ear.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his closeness leaving shivers up your spine.

“T-to bring something to wear on top of my dress? You just said that it would be cold.”

His brows lifted, realizing the misunderstanding he caused. “I apologize. What I meant was I’ll bring my jacket for you to wear if it gets too chilly.”

Your stomach fluttered, though you didn’t know if it was due to the proximity of his body, his low voice, or his offer to keep you warm during the night out. You turned around in his grasp, meeting his gaze.

“There is no need for you to hide it beneath extra clothing if you want to show it off. You look beautiful in that new dress, my love.”

Now you knew exactly what caused those tingles in your stomach.

The direct compliments Zayne tended to give always affected you deeply. Combined with the nickname that rolled so effortlessly off his tongue, you were the one left entangled now. And he would admire you a thousand times more just to see that expression on your face.

”Perhaps I should change the color of my tie to match.”

“Dr Zayne wanting to do couple matching?” You feigned a gasp of shock, bracing a hand against his chest. “How unheard of!”

Zayne breathed a fond and quiet laugh. “Yes, I’ve been learning a lot of new things when I’m with you.”

𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒 ⟡

“My, my, my,” Sylus sounded out as you walked into the kitchen. He chuckled in astonishment, the resonant sound warming your senses. “Don’t you look absolutely divine this evening?”

Sylus washed his hands at the sink and dried them off with a towel. He was in the middle of preparing dinner for the two of you when you made your grand reveal. Naturally, he had to stop everything to give you the attention you deserved.

“Do you notice anything different?” you asked innocently, hands tucked behind your back.

Sylus smirked. He rested his chin on his hand, indulging your theatrics.

“Hmm, let me guess… is it your hair?” he began, reaching out to tuck a strand behind your ear.

You tempered your expression, trying to remain neutral despite the corners of your lips curving upwards.

“Or… maybe your makeup?” he trailed his hand down to your cheek, lightly brushing against your skin with his thumb.

Sylus’ hand moved to rest at your back, guiding you closer to him. His gaze travelled from your head to your toes. 

“Ah, I know what it is.”

You were wearing an elegant black dress that reached your ankles—certainly fit to be in attendance at a high class function. The bodice resembled a corset, with faux boning running from the square neckline down towards the waist before disappearing before the skirt. Thin black straps tied off in ribbons at your shoulders. A necklace of silver and ruby dazzled under the warm lights of the kitchen. Contrasting with the rest of your outfit, rather than wear a matching pair of shoes, on your feet were your prized fuzzy slippers that you wore around the Onichynus base. Sylus could help but break into a smile.

Tonight’s date was a night-in after all, so comfort would be given number one priority.

“It’s this lovely new dress.” 

His compliment seemed to be amplified by the husk in his voice. You clasped your hands around his neck, pulling him nearer. 

“Correct!” you grinned. “It’s the one you helped me pick out, remember?”

He nodded. Two weeks ago you had gone clothes shopping together and stumbled upon this simple black dress. Sylus saw the way your eyes lingered on it, even after being alarmed by the price tag. You were prepared to say goodbye to it on the clothing rack. Little did you know, Sylus had already signalled to the shop assistant to have it wrapped up and sent to his home. 

“I do,” he answered, drawing small circles at the small of your back with his finger. “It seems we both have good taste.”

Your eyes darted away from his gaze. “I know you’re just making dinner for us, but I wanted to dress up a little.”

There was very little that could make the leader of Onichynus lose his composure, but the shyness on your face was enough to make him weak.

Sylus kissed your forehead. “Trust me when I say this, my dear, the gesture is greatly appreciated.”

He tilted your face upwards. Sincerity brimmed in his crimson gaze as he spoke, 

“You know you can wear whatever you want around me. Whether you dress up or dress down, you always look stunning.”

𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 ⟡

Eyes growing wide as porcelain plates, Xavier watched with awe when you exited the bedroom. He’d never seen you wear this dress. He didn’t even know where to look first.

The white fabric ruffled in two tiers around your thighs, with loose frills lining the neckline, accentuating your decolletage. It was shoulderless, with long sheer white sleeves that extended from the dress. To complement its shorter length, you wore white lace socks that ended below your knees.

It was the embodiment of flirty and sweet, only made more so by the twirl you gave him.

“You got a new dress,” Xavier observed.

He walked over to meet you, a smile blooming across his face as you toyed with the ruffles at your neckline.

“Mhm, I did! How do I look?”

Xavier ran his fingers down the sleeve, feeling the material. He trailed the length of your arm, the light touch leaving goosebumps in its wake, until he reached your hand.

“The color is just like starlight.”

Lifting your hand up to his lips, he gave your knuckles a tender kiss. It was almost a scene from a storybook—a prince boldly showcasing his affection for his lover. Though, rather than a castle, you were standing in his apartment on his blue striped rug. It didn’t matter. For you, it was a fairytale nonetheless.

“You look radiant,” he said, looking up at you with admiration and… something else.

Xavier straightened himself and inhaled. Unexpectedly, he leaned over and began unlacing his shoes, taking them off his feet. Your face contorted with confusion. Whatever he was doing now was a stark difference in tone from the previous moment you just shared.

“Xavier… what are you doing?”

He neatly lined his shoes up on the edge of the rug on the wooden floorboards.

“Can we change the date to just staying in?” he asked.

“Huh? Why?”

His answer came in the form of pulling you into a hug and collapsing on the sofa with you. You gasped in surprise. Cupping your face in both his hands, Xavier began to kiss you. Starting from your forehead down to your cheeks. In that fraction of a second each time he pulled away, he eyed you—your expression a mixture of surprise and delight, the way your chest rose and fell in that ruffled dress. He continued his affectionate ambush, his gentle lips leaving your skin warm and rose-colored.

“Xavier!” you cried out, bursting into giggles.

Though you had your hands on his shoulders, you didn’t give much resistance, letting your partner shower you with kisses.

“We’re going to be late for our reservation—mmph!”

He finally reached your lips, slowing his movements, letting himself savor the faint sweetness from the gloss you applied. You too almost got lost, brain clouded by the familiar and tempting sensation. Xavier felt your hands tap his shoulders and he pulled back to find your lips in a pout.

“You know we’re never going to leave if we stay like this.”

Xavier sighed resignedly. “Okay, okay, we’ll go.”

Nodding his head he rested his forehead on your shoulder, as if it took all his strength to move away. “I just couldn’t help it. It’s hard to resist kissing you when you look like that.”

𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋 ⟡

Being a denizen of an underwater kingdom meant Rafayel had seen many pretty sights in his life. But, none would compare to when he was looking at you. Especially now when you walked into his studio wearing a new dress. His lips curved into a smile, unable to contain the wonder on his face.

The dress was made of a taupe-coloured chiffon with red flowers and olive leaves patterning the fabric. From the open window of his studio, the light breeze made the flowy material flutter around your legs. The waistline ended just below the bust, with a heart-shaped neckline that gave the perfect space for your shell necklace (given as a present from Rafayel himself). Your white sandals tapped against the floorboards, ready for your evening by the beach. 

“Is there a special anniversary I’m forgetting?” Rafayel asked, placing his hands on his hips. “Why am I receiving such a lovely gift?” 

You chuckled, speaking with a playful lilt, “Sometimes there’s no reason for nice things to happen. I just thought I’d try on something new.”

He approached, holding your hands in his. The swirl of violet and pink in his eyes gleamed with splendour. “You look beautiful, like you just stepped out of a painting.”

“You can thank Aunt Talia,” you said. “She helped choose it for me when she visited Linkon.”

Rafayel shrugged, though, there was pride in his voice as he spoke. “It’s easy to pick when you have a perfect muse like yourself.” 

With his hand still in yours, Rafayel stretched his arm outward, creating distance between you two before leading you towards his chest. You twirled into his arms like a ballroom dancer, the skirt of your dress dancing along with you.

He wished he had something to record your laugh in that moment—the pure delight in your voice. Perhaps he could keep it in a seashell for him to hold to his ear whenever he missed you. More of your giggles erupted when he swung you out from him once again. This time, when he pulled you in, he braced an arm around your back, dipping you. 

His face was inches away from yours. He looked at the pink dusting your cheeks, the sparkle on your eyelids, and the giddiness in your smile. The statement remained true. No other sight could compare to you.

Lifting you back to standing position, he kept his arms encircled at your waist.

“The fabric of the dress flows just like water,” he commented. “And the colour compliments you so nicely.”

Rafayel appeared entranced, as if he was staring at a rare artwork sitting in an illustrious gallery. Studying your features with that same painter’s eye. 

“You’re giving me that look again.” You lightly poked the tip of his nose with your index finger. “Am I to be the inspiration for your next piece now?”

He shook his head in amusement. “Cutie, you should see the margins of all my sketchbooks.”

“You’re always an inspiration to me, every second of every day.”

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁 ⟡

Waiting for you to come out of your room made Caleb’s stomach flutter in anticipation. It wasn’t dissimilar to the very first time he tried flying. The sudden change in speed and altitude. That momentary weightlessness before everything dropped. He didn’t realise being at your apartment in Linkon City, waiting to see what you were going to wear for the night, would provoke the same feelings as being in a fighter jet. He covered his face with his hand in an act of controlling himself–conscious of the effect you had on him. 

The moment ended when he heard your door click shut. Caleb turned around from staring at the photographs on the wall to finally see you.

At a first glance, the dress was simple–made of a silky material with no embellishments, and two thin straps at the shoulders. However, in the light, your green dress shimmered with iridescence. The gold that shone through the fabric shifted with every step you took towards him, ever changing depending on where the light was hitting you. 

Caleb folded his arms, his eyes shamelessly wandering up and down. A slow and intentional gaze that ensured he could memorize the image he saw before him.

You were practically beaming at him, and his own heart leapt from his chest.

“I don’t recognize this from your wardrobe. Is it new?” His question came out almost breathless. 

“It is, how observant of you,” you chirped. “What do you think?” 

You took one more step closer until he could reach out and feel the material for himself. It was smooth and delicate under his touch. He let it slip off his fingers before looking back at you, completely transfixed. 

“You look gorgeous,” he breathed. The earnesty in his voice made your pulse skip. 

“You know,” Caleb circled around you, hands at his back. It seemed as though he wanted to admire the dress from every angle, “any person in their right mind would want to get close after seeing someone as cute as you.”

Without you realising, he had actually cornered you against your wall of photographs.

He placed his left hand against the wall beside your head, satisfaction plain on his face. You puffed out your cheeks in mock annoyance at Caleb’s sneaky position switching. Only you got to witness this mischievous, boyish side to him. 

“I guess I’ll have to keep a lookout tonight,” he whispered in your ear before kissing you on the cheek.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay right by your side,” you reassured, patting his head. 

“Mmm, that’s good to hear.” He leaned into your touch, lips curved into a soft, nostalgic smile.

“I remember you weren’t too fond of wearing dresses when you were younger.”

“That was a long time ago,” you commented, brushing your fingers through his dark hair to tidy it up. “Things can change.”

He caught your hand in his, interlocking his fingers with yours. Warmth radiated through your palms. 

“Then, I want to see you in more pretty clothes like this,” he said. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow, I’ll get you anything you want.”

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[kenmaspuddinghair]

Honorably discharged partially disabled Simon part 3

part one part two

this one has a happier ending than the last, but Simon is diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy ( pronunciation) which is a kind of nerve damage. sorry this one took a little long I had to research for this one

exactly 1.0k words :)

Here you are all alone sitting outside a hospital room at almost 3 AM with Simon's “Ghost” mask in your hands while he's in surgery right behind you, Price left a while ago to pick up some food and the other guys in the 141. According to the doctors Simon had peripheral neuropathy from the attack about a month ago, it spiked when he got into the fight with the man back at the butcher shop, for you, he got into a fight that caused this for you. You were trying your hardest not to cry when the doctor walked out “Okay, the surgery was a success, he isn't necessarily cured right now but as long as you take the right precautions and steps, it can get better and may go away over time, it could take months or even years though. He’ll need full-time care and if you're not up for that he’ll need a different nurse. I'll get you a sheet with all the information and potential symptoms” he said, already walking away. As you were going into the room another nurse came out from the room, “Are you his girlfriend, he just woke up and he keeps calling for you, he refuses to let us see his face, but we got what we need done” and before you got a chance to correct her she went off.

“Hey Simon, how are you?” First he removed his hands from over his face then his eyes went over your entire body slowly before he answered “Can’t really feel anythin, can ya put my mask on?” you smiled at him getting closer to pull the mask over his head. “Price will be here with Soap and Gaz, he's bringing some food too” he never answered you, he just kept staring at you with this look in his eyes, you just sat by his side looking over him. You sighed, “Simon listen, I don't know if they told you, but you have peripheral neuropathy, your nerves were damaged during the attack and, when you grabbed that guy it only made things worse” You paused but before you could continue he replied in a voice so soft you didn't know he could make that sound “it’s not your fault y’know, shouldn't attacked him” you smiled but before you could continue Price came in. “I'm assuming she told you about what happened and what's gonna be happening” It was as if something clicked in Simon's mind, he pushed himself up “She can stay right? She'll still be ‘ere to help me? Right? You'll stay to help me won’t ya?” he directed the last part to you, voice breaking and dripping with a mix of worry and horror. You looked him directly in his eyes and replied simply but firmly “Simon, I will stay and take care of you for as long as you let me”

Simon was discharged around 10 AM, the last few hours he spent joking with Soap and Gaz just eating food you knew was not good for them at all, but they had to leave a bit ago so now with the help of Price you got Simon in the car and back home. So far Simon only had a few symptoms, muscle weakness, muscle twitching/shaking, and occasional numbness and/or pain, so far it's stayed confide to Simon’s right under his collarbone, the exact part of his body that was stuck under rubble for hours, according to the doctors this is the best case scenario much worse could have happened to him. The plan was for you to make sure he ate well-rounded meals and didn't over-exert himself and give him a check-up weekly for any worsening symptoms or injuries.

Currently, you were in the kitchen cooking lunch while Simon and Price talked in the living room. “You like her a lot, don't you? And don't try to tell me you don't like her, even the nurse thought she was your girlfriend, you even let her see your face. I didn't even get to see your face for years” Simon just sighed, he couldn't exactly lie it was way too obvious, so he chose the next best thing to do “So what do I do? I don't even know if she's allowed to date me” “Well she's with the military so as long as I, the captain, says it's okay then it's okay, but you know she's not gonna ask you right?” Simon started to panic, was Price confirming his worst fear right now, that you didn't like him at all and wouldn't even give him a chance. “What do ya mean she won't ask me out, like she doesn't like me? Like-” “No no Simon, like she's not going to risk losing her job by asking her patient out, meaning you have to do it. Of course she likes you, are you dense?” 

Not only was Price saying that it was okay for you two to date but also encouraging it, but now he had to work up the nerve to actually do it, it would be simply right? He would just ask you out, that's it. “Lunch is ready.” just then Price stood up, grabbing his hat “I'm gonna head out now, make sure he eats” he directed the last part to you before heading to the door “Will do” you called “Oh also Simon, I forgot to mention but I'll need to stay in your room tonight, peripheral neuropathy can be really bad for some people at night so I should be there for you just in case” Price just chucked and smirked and Simon before closing the door behind him. God, who was Simon kidding, this is the hardest thing he's ever had to do, and that's saying a lot, Simon’s done countless terrifying things that would have the average civilian crying and yet Simon was panicking over asking a girl out, gosh, what were you doing to him. 

tags- @piconico17 @just-lilita @madsdawson @silversfavfics @enfppuff @solazoro @sirbonesly

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

i’ve never known someone like you

best friend!rafe cameron x innocent!virgin!fem!reader

cw — fluff, rafe spoils reader

summary — after talking to some of your friends, you question if all best friends actually do the things rafe does.

authors note — i’m gonna start a tom of au’s cause i have so many ideas so please lmk if they’re actually interesting or not…

do not copy or post my work anywhere else.

“what do you want, sweetheart?” rafe asked as he glanced over at you and pulled into the drive thru of your favorite coffee shop, one hand on the wheel and the other gently stroking your thigh. he wasn’t really sure why he asked. he pretty much expected you to answer the same way you always did.

“the same thing i always get, please,” you replied and you grabbed your purse from by your feet and began to look through it.

he ordered like usual without a single hesitation or even a second thought because you’re his best friend, of course he knew your coffee order by heart. it made you smile to yourself while you pulled out your card from you wallet.

you handed it to him as he pulled up to the window and he took it absentmindedly until the barista appeared and was ready to take a payment. the moment he looked down at the card in his hand, he almost looked offended. his brows furrowed as he placed it back in your lap and reached into his own wallet for his black card.

he grabbed the drinks and wished them a great rest of their day, placing them into the pink decorated cup holders before sparing a quick glance back at you. “what was that?”

your head tilted slightly in confusion. “what was what?” you asked curiously. the fact that you weren’t seeing an issue made rafe raise a brow.

“what do you mean what was what? i mean you handing me your card,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “i always pay. you never touch your card when you’re with me. that’s how its always gone.”

you shrugged and sank a little deeper into you seat, a comforting hand returning to your thigh. “i don’t know. i just feel bad, rafey. you pay for everything. that’s a lot of money,” you said with a pour on your glossed lips. “i was talking to kie and jj the other day, and they said they barely ever pay for each other. only if they really need it.”

he gave a gentle squeeze to your thigh and took a deep breath. not one of annoyance, or frustration, just him trying to find the right words. “well, i’m not jj and you’re not kie. i pay for you because i can and because i wanna show you how much i appreciate you bein’ my best friend,” he replied sweetly. “i don’t care about how much i’m spendin’. if its for you, i’d spend millions. don’t worry about any of that, pretty girl.”

[digi-diareis]

"We need to talk" Prank

with the LaDS love interests, implied that the LI's are already in a relationship w you

Xavier

Oh he's pulling out the puppy dog eyes immediately, lower lip jutting out and ready to start crying.

"I'm sorry." "What? Do you even know what you're apologizing for? Also, why are you apologizing?"

This guy is ready to admit to any and all the faults he's made the past week, from cooking without permission, eating her secret stash of snacks, forgetting to feed the cat on time, etc.

"Please don't break up with me, please please please please-" "Xavi, baby, calm down, I'm not breaking up with you"

Anyways, the prank doesn't even last a minute because you break the moment he pulls out the kicked puppy look and he starts begging for you.

You guys end up cuddling the entire day because he won't stop sulking and being worried that you're tired of him so you can't really leave him alone because this is your fault.

We love a loser like Xavi <3

Rafayel

Dramatic ass man and pranks like these are like perfect tiktok material.

"Oh, you are NOT breaking up with me. I don't give you permission to." "I don't recall breaking up having to need permission from both parties." "Well, now you know."

Anyways, you're both just bickering over stupid shit now. You've strayed from the "we need to talk" to now pointing fingers at who's the bigger drama queen between the two of you.

Zayne

Oh sweet summer child, takes you very seriously.

"What is it, love? Did I do something to upset you?"

Oh, you just know how guilty you'll end up feeling when you keep up with the prank. You last a solid 3 sentences before you slowly turn quiet because he's listening so patiently and looks like he's truly reflecting on everything you've said.

"Okay, I'm sorry it was a stupid prank but I can't stand looking at you this guilty. You've been nothing but an absolute sweetheart, I could never ask for more."

Zayne sighs, relieved that it wasn't actually something major.

"Please, try not to do pranks like these again. I love you but the way my heart dropped when you said those words is not healthy."

You give him a big hug and lots of smooches to make it up to him, vowing never to do pranks like these on him again.

Sylus

Oh, you are looking forward to this. There's a power trip of sorts when you remember how much power you actually hold over this man. And this is perfect.

Some say this might be a red flag of yours but you're dating a wholeass criminal big boss so it's not really that big of a deal.

When you start the prank, he raises an eyebrow. Feeling like it might be a prank since he did spoil you and didn't do anything to piss you off recently.

"And what is it this time, sweetheart?"

Okay ngl, I think this prank goes way too far because he would correct / contradict / defend every single reason and excuse you come up with. That it just becomes a wholeass debate of whether you even have an actual reason to be unsatisfied with your relationship.

At the end of it all, you are breathless and out of excuses. So you just glare at him. Sylus simply smirks knowing he won this 'argument'.

"I'll get you someday, look forward to the day that you're begging for me on your knees." "Oh sweetheart, I'd get on my knees for you anytime, if you just asked."

Caleb

You feel like this might be the worst idea you've ever had, knowing full well how possessive Caleb can get but anything for the gram or whatever the kids say.

"Say that again, buttercup? I think I misheard you."

Oh, the way his voice dropped an entire octave got you both nervous and also maybe turned on?

You try to be strong and push through, repeating what you said.

"Sure, we can talk. Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? Did you find out about the hidden cameras? Is it the new guy at work, did he give you any ideas? I knew I shouldn't have stopped at a few broken ribs-" "CALEB WHAT THE FUCK"

Prank is forgotten, you are now giving him an hour long sermon about hidden cameras and not beating up every man who has any interaction with you.

What you say is definitely passing through the other ear for him, he's just pleased he managed to distract you from the original topic. Its better that you feel responsible for correcting him and being stuck with him rather than you getting sick and tired of him.

Caleb - 1 : You - 0

(i tried my best but i feel like these are very ooc aaaaaaa)

[starstruckbich]

needy Vi ⋆｡°✩

summary: you and Vi are married, and lately she's been oddly whiny and all over you...

tags: 18+ mdni, men dni. nsfw! dom!reader, down bad sub!vi, scar mentions, hard fingering, eating pussy ˗★˗

wc: 3.8k

notes: hii first time writing so sorry if this is a little sloppy lmao, this is smut with no plot and english isn't my first language so i might get some terms wrong. anyways hope you guys enjoy!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You loved Vi with all your heart.

Ever since the war been between Zaun and Piltover came to an end, you two have been living peacefully. You both had scars on your body, reminders of what you both had been through.

Lately she's been a lot clingier. Asking you for a kiss before bed, hugging your waist from behind while you're cooking and staying glued to you for ungodly amounts of time, insisting on showering together with you, nuzzling her face agaisnt your thighs and kissing them while she looks at you with those needy puppy eyes. That's her favorite.

Eventually you figured out why. During the night, you were often woken up by whimpers and needy whines, looking over at your wife to see her mumbling in her sleep, sounding like she's getting fucked out of her mind, whining your name...

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

"vi, i'm trying to read." you say, tucking your hair behind your ear to look down at your wife, who's once again laying her head down on your lap and kissing your thighs.

"hmm..." she hums in a needy voice agaisnt them, wanting to bury her face between and never pull away.

"again?..." you can't help but raise an eyebrow, your wife letting out a whine, grabbing your legs tightly. of course, you love Vi and want to be close to her, but it's gotten to the point where she doesn't have her hands off of you for atleast five seconds.

For the next 30 minutes you continue trying to read, trying to change positions to lay comfortably in your king-sized bed. However, as needy as she is, Vi keeps clamming onto you, making you a sweaty mess.

Your final straw is when she huffs agaisnt your ear, trying to envelop all of your body in her arms blabbering about whatever, crushing your book's pages in the process, at the most interesting part of the plot.

"f-fuck baby, please! mh!" vi whines, head layed back on the pillows, gripping the sheets so hard they could rip.

you plunge your tongue deeper inside her, over and over again, holding her strong thighs far apart and kissing, sucking, doing whatever you can to torture that needy, wet, puffy pussy of hers.

her wetness drips down your chin slowly, making you hum in satisfaction. you decide to take some pity for her, giving some attention to her sensitive clit.

"a-ah! FUCK!" she yells, bucking her hips to feel your tongue sucking on her pussy again.

"hold still." you mumble agaisnt her pussy with a frown, holding her hips down as you continue eating her out, giving the pleasure she so desperately needs.

"please baby i'm gonna cum, c-can i come? please please please please... mmh~!" she tries to rub your her hips roughly agaisnt your tongue again, to no avail.

Unfortunately for her and her glistening pussy, you pull away, resting your face on her muscular thigh, an innocent, faint smile on your face despite what you've been doing to her. "aw baby, already?" you can't help but grin as she whines in frustration, her voice already hoarse.

you press two fingers agaisnt her pussy, mking her let out a whimpery moan, slightly entering her but then pulling out your index and middle finger again. "aw your pussy's so wet... so fucking wet baby, your mess is all over the sheets, fuck..."

"please baby, put them in... i need you..." she looks down, lolling her head to the side after.

"hm yeah? you need these fingers inside your pussy? want me to make you feel good? like those fucking wet dreams you've been having about me?"

Vi's eyes widen at your words, looking into your eyes in embarassment. "what? h-how'd you-"

Before she can finish her sentence you plunge your two digits deep inside her, ripping out a loud moan from your pretty wife. You groan in satisfaction at the sight, biting your bottom lip, pumping your fingers again and again, her juices flying everywhere as she rolls her eyes to the back of her head.

"of fuck, look at that! if i didn't know any better i'd say we're at the goddamn brothel." you tease, letting out hearty chuckles. "how about a third one hm? you're wet enough already" you, plunging your ring finger into her aswell.

"A-AH! Fuck, don't stop don't stop! yes baby! gonna come! m' gonna come!" Vi yells, squirming as your fingers are punishing her, more needy for you than ever.

A few more thrusts and she finishes on your three fingers, letting out a loud, whiny moan as she comes. You of course take the chance to suck up all of her fluids, not stopping as your tongue works between her thighs again, making her body convulse in sensitivity and pleasure.

"mm so good, you're so good for me baby..." you mumble agaisnt her, making her come again from those words alone as your eyes widen.

"damn, that bad huh?

"shut up..."

[marvelstoriesepic]

Supposed Distraction

Pairing: College!Athlete!Bucky x College!Reader

Summary: It’s Bucky’s birthday and you and your friends are planning a surprise party. That leaves you with the task to distract him while the others prepare.

Prompt 1: “I think we need to talk.”

Prompt 2: “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Prompt 3: “Kiss me.”

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: friends to lovers; reader is embarrassed and rather terrible at attempting to distract Bucky; Bucky is smug; Bucky is worried; Sam and Steve are idiots; feels; pining; tension; Bucky is a sweetheart

Author’s Note: This is another entry for the lovely cinema themed writing challenge by @elixirfromthestars ♡ I hope you’re not getting tired of me participating, my dear, but I couldn’t help it. Especially since you were the one inspiring me to write this about college!bucky. I'll have to thank you for that!! Hope you enjoy! ♡

Masterlist

You always knock four times.

It’s instinctive at this point, muscle memory more than conscious thought. You don’t even remember when or how it started, but it's always fours knocks.

The door swings open within seconds, revealing Bucky’s easy and bright grin. He leans against the frame, arms crossed over his broad chest, hair slightly tousled, perhaps from running his hands through it. God, he looks great.

“Hey, doll,” he greets, voice warm. “You’re early.”

You arch a brow, stepping past him when he shifts to let you in. “It’s your birthday, Buck. What kind of friend would I be if I left you alone, huh?”

Bucky exhales a short sigh, but his smile stays in place. “Told you, it’s not a big deal.”

“‘Course it is, Buck,” you argue, almost indignant at the thought. Because if anyone deserves a day where people get to celebrate him, it’s James Buchanan Barnes.

But he doesn’t make much of his birthday. He doesn’t like attention when he hasn’t earned it.

It’s why he loves the mound, standing there under stadium lights with all eyes on him, but loathes things like this - birthdays, personal praise, anything that forces him into a spotlight just for existing. You suppose that’s just part of who he is.

You saw him earlier, in university. You shared one class today. He walked in a few minutes late, baseball cap pulled low, backpack slung lazily over one shoulder.

You had been waiting for him, barely able to contain your excitement as you nearly launched yourself at him in the hallway with a cheerful happy birthday, Bucky!

He had only blinked, slightly startled at your enthusiasm before huffing out a laugh when you crushed him in a tight hug. But he hadn’t complained, only chuckled softly, winding his arms around you and pressing his hands to your back, waiting for you to be the first to pull away again.

You told him he'd receive his present later the day with a grin and Bucky only rolled his eyes with a fond smile, letting you have your moment.

But what Bucky doesn’t know is that there is a surprise party awaiting him later, planned by you and your shared group of friends - because somebody has to make sure that today doesn’t pass like it is just another day.

Sam’s apartment is the only logical choice, given that his roommate dropped out and no one had rushed to fill the space yet. That means lots of room, plus an open invitation to make a mess.

The only issue is that Sam’s apartment is directly across the hall from Bucky and Steve’s.

Which means you have been assigned a very specific task - keep Bucky in his apartment until it’s time.

Not that you had much say in the matter. The moment the question came up about who would be the one distracting him that long, every pair of eyes landed on you.

You are his best friend, but - and that’s how you see it - so is everyone else. Still, they seemed to believe that you could hold his attention for long enough, that you could keep him engaged enough not to notice the shuffle of footsteps and suspicious voices beyond his door. That it would be you who he doesn’t mind having around, lingering in his space.

Honestly, you didn’t argue.

There is not a reason as to why you should. Any excuse to spend time with Bucky is a good one.

After all, you love the guy. But that’s a problem for another day.

You drop your bag on the worn-out armchair by the window, the same spot you always claim when you are here.

Bucky’s jacket is slung over the back of the chair, and the second your bag lands on it, the scent of his cologne drifts up - clean, something woodsy, something him. It distracts you for a second, but then you turn to face him again.

He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans after closing the door again.

“Where’s Steve?” you ask casually, like you don’t already know he is across the hall, making sure everything is set up for the surprise. But you don’t know what he told Bucky.

“He said somethin’ about running some drills with the rookies, helping out the coach, or whatever,” Bucky answers, tilting his head in that unconcerned way. He slowly makes his way toward you. “Guess one of them nearly took his own damn head off trying to hit a curveball.”

One of your brows lifts amused. “And Steve’s the guy to fix that?”

Bucky smirks. “Well, y’know how he is. Someone fucks up a throw, suddenly he’s gotta be the one to teach ‘em how to do it right.” He shakes his head, like the whole thing is ridiculous.

“Yeah, sounds like Steve,” you state, trying to suppress a knowing smile.

You lean your hip against the kitchen counter, arms loosely crossed, trying to keep it casual. The apartment is small, with the kitchen bleeding into the living space, a single couch, and a coffee table taking up a lot of the room. You love it.

“So, what do you feel like doing?” You tip your head toward him. “You’re the birthday boy, you get to decide.”

Bucky scoffs, lips curling, finding your antics amusing. But then, he actually seems to consider it. His hands slip from his pockets, arms crossing as he leans back slightly against the table. His gaze falls to the window. Sunlight spills in, casting golden lines across the floor and making your hair gleam.

“You wanna go get some ice cream or somethin’?” he suggests. “It’s warm out.”

You blink, caught off guard. Bucky isn’t usually the one to propose going out. It takes a little coaxing most days, a push to get him moving and leave his apartment to meet your group of friends somewhere outside. You wonder what he would have said if anyone else were the one distracting him.

But you can’t take him up on it. Because you can’t let him leave and potentially find out.

“Uh-no,” you say, a little too quickly, a little too firmly.

Bucky’s brows lift, a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth. “No?” He huffs a laugh, shifting his weight onto one foot, arms still folded. His voice takes on that slow, teasing drawl. “You just asked me what I wanna do, doll. Thought I got to decide? Y’know, birthday and all that.”

You just started this distracting thing and you are already messing up. Great.

You scramble for a way to walk it back, to keep him here without making it obvious. “Yeah, you know, I just-” You glance around as if the answer is hidden somewhere in the room. “Why don’t we stay inside?”

Bucky watches you, eyes narrowing just slightly, trying to puzzle you out. He doesn’t look suspicious. But there is a curiosity in it.

“Why?” he drags the word out, tilting his head. “Something wrong with ice cream? We could also go get some tacos maybe-”

“No! Nothing’s wrong with ice cream.” You force a laugh, waving your hand dismissively. “I just figured we could chill here for a bit.” You bite your lip, then continue. “We could bake you a cake?”

You would love to face-palm yourself right now.

Why would you even say that?

There will be plenty of cake at the party. Cake that’s already been ordered, picked out, baked yourself, and waiting across the hall. And yet, here you are, offering something completely unnecessary, completely ridiculous.

God, you are terrible at this.

Bucky’s blue eyes are on you, considering, lips parting, about to say something.

Panic rises.

“Or not,” you blurt, stepping forward too fast, too sudden, hands coming up in a vague, dismissive gesture. “Yeah, maybe not. That’s dumb. Forget I said anything.”

You shift where you stand, fingers twitching at your sides. You don’t get nervous around Bucky - at least, not like this. But something hot and uncomfortable starts to creep up the back of your neck.

A slow smirk pulls at Bucky’s mouth as he watches you with so much amusement in his eyes, enjoying whatever the hell this is turning into.

“You alright over there, doll?” he asks, voice warm, teasing.

You scoff, rolling your eyes, trying to keep your cool. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” He tilts his head, a lock of dark hair falling into his eyes. “Cause you’re actin’ a little funny.”

You open your mouth, a retort or something like it ready, but Bucky suddenly leans in just a fraction, gaze sweeping over your face like he is searching for something. And yeah shit, you need to shut this down. Now. Or you’ll be a hot mess on the floor.

“Just forget it.” You shrug and then move away from him, toward the fridge, suddenly very interested in whatever’s inside. “You want something to drink?”

You don’t look back at him immediately, don’t give him a chance to see the way you feel your face warm up. Instead, you grab two small bottles of orange juice, shoving one in his direction as a distraction.

Bucky takes it easily, but that amused smirk does not waver a tiny bit. He is still watching you.

Bucky is no idiot. And if you’re not careful, he’s going to catch on fast.

You twist the cap of the bottle a little forcefully, the plastic groaning in your grip. The cold of it seeps into your palm, but it’s not enough to steady the way your heart is beating a little too fast. Taking a sip of the juice, you try to swallow past the lump in your throat.

He has always been observant. Even more so when it comes to you. You wish, just this once, that he'd be a little more dense.

“You gonna tell me what’s up with you today?” he asks, voice colored with curiosity, dipping just enough into concern that you flinch internally.

“I don’t owe you an explanation.”

It’s defensive, but all it does is amuse him. His lips curve, his brows shoot high, the lines on his forehead creasing in exaggerated surprise.

Leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, his own bottle loosely held in one hand, he tips his head back and studies you. “That how we’re playin’ it, huh?”

You shrug, taking another sip of your juice, using the movement as an excuse to break eye contact. But you know it does not deter him.

Bucky makes a thoughtful noise, shifting his weight. “Y’know,” he drones out, tone lazy but eyes sharp and smirk sly. “Usually when people get all cagey like this, it means they’re hidin’ something.”

You shoot him a hopefully flat look. “Wow, Barnes. That’s some real detective work. You want to get a notepad? Maybe a magnifying glass?”

His smirk widens. He seems thoroughly entertained. You don’t like it.

“Depends,” he teases, leaning in just a fraction. “Do I need ‘em?”

Your pulse spikes. Bastard.

With an obvious eye roll that unfortunately lacks the conviction you tried to portray, you cross the room, shoulders set, and let yourself drop into the armchair where your bag still rests with a heavy thud. The cushions soften the impact. Trying to feign the usual comfort you feel sitting here, you tuck one leg under the other, leaning back. Your hands tighten around the still cold bottle of juice.

Bucky doesn’t move right away. He is still standing by the counter, bottle in hand, eyes never leaving you.

“Do you want to watch something?” you ask, reaching for the remote, already trying to steer this back into safe waters.

Bucky exhales through his nose, humor lining the corners of his eyes. His stance is easy and relaxed, but he looks at you like he knows something is off.

“Is this me deciding?” he muses, voice smooth. “Or are you just gonna tell me no again?”

There is no accusation in his tone, just that familiar Brooklyn drawl that makes everything sound like an inside joke.

He finally moves, dragging his body toward the couch. He doesn’t plop down like you did. He settles himself with intent and leans forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his entire focus trained on you like you are the most interesting thing in the room.

You swallow.

“You’ll get to decide,” you promise, trying for nonchalance.

Bucky glances at the dark TV screen, then back at you.

“Nah,” he claims. “Let’s talk.”

Your stomach drops.

Bucky never lets things go when he is curious. You see the spark in his eyes, the glint of amusement, the way the corners of his mouth twitch with that smirk. He knows you are acting weird. Maybe he doesn’t know why, but he sure as hell knows something is up and he is going to dig.

You inhale deeply, fighting the urge to groan. But all you do is force a casual shrug, stretching your arms over your head before letting them drop back into your lap. “What do you want to talk about?”

Your fingers fidget with the label on the bottle, a nervous little movement you don’t mean to make. Bucky’s gaze flickers down to your hands and you freeze, immediately stilling them, letting the bottle rest in your lap and shoving your hands between your thighs.

His eyes snap back to yours, lips curving up.

“You,” he says simply.

You roll your eyes, feigning playful annoyance, because if you don’t, you might actually combust on the spot. “Oh, come on,” you scoff.

For the next few minutes, you actually manage to let a conversation drift to normal things. The familiar back-and-forth. You talk about classes, you being annoyed at that one professor who has a habit of trailing off mid-lecture, forgetting what he is actually supposed to talk about. Bucky tells you about his brutal morning training session that left half the team groaning like old men.

You bring up his next baseball game, the one you won’t be able to make because of an assignment, and Bucky whines.

He doesn’t just complain a little but rather goes on about it for minutes on end. Arms flailing, huffing dramatically, groaning like you just told him his dog died.

“You could just skip,” he protests, lounging back into the couch.

“I can’t just skip, Bucky.”

“But I need my lucky charm,” he laments, throwing his head back against the cushion as if this is some great tragedy.

You roll your eyes but there is warmth rising in your chest. “I’m sorry, Buck. But I did come to all your games last month.”

“Yeah, which is why you owe me,” Bucky retorts, sitting up again, gesturing with his hands. “I hit a homer 'cause you were there. What if I suck without you?”

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” you laugh, but Bucky grumbles under his breath, not quite over it.

It starts to feel normal. Easy. You begin to believe that you might actually pull this off. That you can keep him here, keep him occupied, long enough for your friends across the hall to finish setting up.

But then a loud thump echoes from the hallway.

Your spine goes rigid.

Bucky’s head snaps up, his grin replaced with a furrowed brow.

Another thud.

Yeah, so, that was that.

You fumble for your phone and type out a quick text to Sam.

Y: What are you guys doing out there?

The reply comes almost immediately.

S: Just keep Barnes inside.

You would love to curse loudly right now. Because thank you for nothing, Sam.

Bucky is already standing.

“What are you doing?” you ask, standing up as well, your voice perhaps a little sharper than usual.

Bucky glances at you briefly. There is a tiny bit of concern in his eyes. “There’s something goin’ on out there.” He gestures toward the door. “Think I should check. Might be Miss Nelly.”

Something clenches in your gut.

Miss Nelly, the sweet older woman who lives next door to him and Steve. The one they always help carry groceries up the stairs. The one who has trouble with her hip sometimes. If Bucky thinks she might have fallen, or perhaps tried to carry something on her own, of course, he wants to check.

But that is not what is happening out there.

You rush to step between him and the door. “Let me check.”

Bucky shakes his head. “You wait here, doll. I’ll be back in a sec-”

But you don’t let him finish.

You throw the door open and basically slam it shut behind you before he can follow.

Yes, that was perhaps a little rude. Yes, that will probably only make him more suspicious. Yes, you could have come up with something better. But you certainly did not have the time to think about what exactly.

Right outside, Sam and Steve are standing there - in front of the open door to Sam's apartment where a chair lays with its backside on the floor - wide-eyed, looking about as guilty as two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

You would have laughed at the sight if not for the fact that you just slammed Bucky’s own apartment door basically in his face without an explanation.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” you hiss, voice low, exasperated.

Sam lifts his hands in a calm down gesture. “Listen-”

“No, you listen,” you snap, whisper-shouting, barely resisting the urge to grab them by their collars and shake them. “He’s two seconds away from walking out that door.”

Steve grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. “We, uh, we miscalculated.”

“Miscalculated?” you repeat, eyes narrowing.

They both exchange a glance.

You sigh in frustration. “Where’s Nat?”

“Out with Bruce getting drinks,” Steve answers, folding his arms. “Wanda, Clint, and Laura are inside, decorating.”

“Look,” Sam starts, raising a brow. “We’re bustin’ our asses for this dickhead, and you’re the one who came up with the whole thing in the first place.”

“That’s not-”

“So you gotta do your part. Go back in and stall him some more” A grin spreads across his face and he waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “I don’t know - offer him a good time.”

Your eyes narrow, hands on your hips. “Sam.”

Steve sighs, shaking his head, but there is an unmistakable smirk tugging at his lips.

You glare at them both, spinning on your heel before they can make this worse, yanking the door open and stepping back inside the apartment.

Bucky is exactly where you left him.

Arms crossed. Eyebrows raised. Lips parted slightly, caught between confusion and suspicion.

He is wearing that what the hell was that expression.

You swallow and shut the door more forcefully than necessary, the sound echoing slightly.

Bucky doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Just fixes you with a stare so focused, so piecing, seemingly able to look right through you. It makes you shift where you stand, suddenly hyper-aware of every nervous tick in your body.

“Alright,” he starts slowly, carefully, eyes falling to the door before turning back to you. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Not Miss Nelly,” you quip, attempting a light and assuring tone.

It does not work.

Bucky still doesn’t blink. His jaw works. He doesn’t buy a damn thing you’re trying to sell him.

“No, doll.” His voice is lower now, thoughtful, putting together a puzzle in his head. “What’s going on with you?”

You try to press down the lump in your throat.

“You’re actin’ real weird.” His words aren’t harsh, not even accusing. Just observant.

He cocks his head slightly.

Why did the others think you could withstand the way his eyes root you to the spot without flopping down to the ground as a puddle.

You are so screwed.

You push yourself out of the conversation, walking over to the armchair again and trying to find something to keep you busy while plopping down.

“It’s nothing, Bucky.”

Your fingers curl around the juice bottle, bringing it to your lips, but the cold liquid doesn’t do much to cool the heat crawling up your spine. Your thumb works at the label, picking at the paper until it peels away in small, curling strips.

Bucky blows out a breath, rubbing a hand down his face before slowly making his way over to you.

Crouching in front of you, he braces his forearms on his knees, his eyes intently locked onto you.

The sudden closeness forces you to suck in a breath and your fingers tighten around the bottle in your hands.

His expression shifts again, humor creeping into the smirk on his mouth. “Doll,” he starts, voice light, amused. His hands slide up to rest on either side of your chair, effectively caging you in. “Did you plan somethin’ for me?”

Shit.

Your next inhale is a little hesitant. The air thickens. “No.” It sounds too stiff.

Bucky raises an eyebrow. He is smirking so wide. Enjoying this so much, the way you squirm in your seat before him.

You push forward, shaking your head. “No, Buck. I did not.”

“You sure?” He almost laughs.

“Yes, I just-” You are floundering, drowning in your own words. How can you save this now?

“I’m nervous.” Well, at least that’s not a lie.

Bucky’s expression softens immediately, his amusement fading into something quieter. He straightens up, tilting his head tenderly. His full attention is on you.

A gentle crease in his brows forms. “Why are you nervous, sweetheart?” His voice is softer now, lower.

And guilt hits you.

How do you get out of this?

But, hell, he is so close, too close. His eyes are so blue, too blue. His gaze is so intense, too intense. You are feeling hot, too hot - your brain isn’t working, it’s overheating, and your mouth is suddenly moving.

“Because.” Shut up, shut up, shut up. “Because I think we need to talk.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

The entirety of Bucky shifts and you just want the ground to eat you up right this second.

Because now he looks so worried. So genuinely concerned.

You feel yourself start to sweat. Where is this going? Why can’t you stop this? Why did you even start it?

Bucky’s face drops to a frown so deep, lines are forming. A hand of his moves, palm landing lightly on your knee.

“We can talk, doll.” His voice is even softer now, barely above a murmur. “Is something wrong? You alright?”

You just stare at him.

Your heart is hammering.

What the hell are you doing?

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as your fingers keep worrying at the torn label, peeling off strips that crumple beneath your fingertips. It’s the only thing you want to focus on right now with Bucky’s proximity and his intense gaze.

But then his hands replace the bottle and he grasps your fingers, wrapping around them and stilling their fidgeting.

Something electric rushes through your veins so quickly, you couldn’t catch it if you tried.

This is getting way too serious.

Too intimate in a way that sends your pulse skittering up your throat.

You feel like a deer caught in headlights, your body tensing up, lungs forgetting how to work properly. Because this is veering dangerously off course, heading straight for a conversation you’re not sure you’re ready to have. You never thought you’d ever be ready.

But you started this. You walked straight into it with your own words, and there is no backing out now. So you might as well be honest now.

No time like the present.

Bucky must feel the way your hands begin to tremble in his hold, because he adjusts again, shifting closer, his knees pressing against the base of your chair. His thumbs trace over the backs of your hands. His frown deepens.

Why does he have to be so worried? It would make things so much easier if he remained casual and easy. But really, that’s how Bucky always is. Worrying so fast when it comes to you. You can’t really blame this on him now, can you?

His voice drops lower, soft as a whisper. “What is it, sweetheart?” His eyes are full and searching. “Talk to me.”

Air hitches, stalling between your ribs before pushing forward in a rather trembling exhale. Your lungs barely feel full. Your eyes dart away from his, searching the room, the floor, anywhere but him.

“Did I upset you? Is it something I did-”

“No!” you rush out, hastily. “No, you didn’t do anything, Buck.” God, now he even goes that far. This is bad.

Bucky softens a tiny fraction, but he keeps sweeping his eyes over your face, latching on the details, trying to study you, trying to read what this is about. “You can tell me, doll. Always. Whatever it is,” he coos so sweetly, and it makes you want to cry.

How do you even start this?

You open your mouth. You’re certainly not ready to climb the whole mountain, but perhaps you can try a small hill.

“Do you-” You swallow, trying to sound as if you are simply reminiscing. “Do you remember that time after your game last year when it started pouring the second we left the stadium?”

Bucky blinks at the sudden turn. Confusion enters his features but the worry only deepens. “What?”

You push forward, gaze fixed on the arm of your chair as if it might give you the courage you need. “You gave me your jersey, even though I already had a jacket and you were the one soaking wet-”

Bucky’s brows pull further together, his head shaking slowly, not knowing what to do with your words. “Doll-”

“You walked me all the way back to my apartment.” Your voice turns quieter as if you are speaking more to yourself than him. Perhaps you are. Saying those things out loud makes them seem so much more important. “And then you got sick for three days.”

His hands squeeze yours gently. “I mean- Yeah, I remember.” Confusion also settles in his tone. “But what’s that got to do with-”

“I don’t know,” you cut in quickly. “I just-” You exhale a deep sigh. “I think about that a lot.”

Bucky says your name like it is something delicate. Something that might slip away if he is not careful.

“Look at me, please.”

You try, but it’s hard.

It means staring into those impossibly blue eyes that see too much, that strip you bare without even trying, that try to coax something out of you, you didn’t even plan on letting go.

But you force yourself to lift your gaze and it is worse than you expected.

He is watching you with an intensity that makes you stop breathing. His stormy eyes are so full of concern, so desperate to understand what is going on in your head, searching every inch of your face.

His lips are parted slightly. His breathing is sharper. Uneven.

“What’s going on, hm?” he coaxes, so softly, so full of patience you don’t deserve. “What’s this about? You still feelin’ guilty?”

Your heart plummets like a stone.

“Doll, there’s no need to, alright?” His hands squeeze yours, grounding, reassuring. “We talked about this.”

God, why does he have to be so good?

His voice is so warm. Warm like sunlight, like home. It makes the sting behind your eyes grow stronger.

You don’t want to cry.

You don’t want to feel this way. Don’t want to ruin his fucking birthday like this. This is getting so out of hand right now, but what should you do? You are so tangled up in trying to figure out what to say, things you are too much of a coward to finally admit out loud.

Bucky notices your struggles. He sees them. Plain on your face. His thumbs brush over your skin in careful strokes. “And you took such good care of me.” His tone lightens, trying to pull you out of whatever hole you’re sinking into. “Remember that part?”

You nod, swallowing and swallowing but the clump of emotions stays stuck in your throat. “Yeah.” Your voice comes out flat, like you are detached from it. “I do. Sorry for bringing it up.”

Bucky’s lips press together, and then he sighs so deeply, his chest rises and falls profoundly.

“Doll,” he murmurs, straightening up, arms beside you tensing as though he is holding himself back from doing something. “That’s not what you wanted to talk about.”

He’s right.

“Darlin’, please,” he urges, and god, the way that word falls from his lips makes you shudder. His voice is barely above a whisper now, full of something genuine, something tender, something that makes him sound like he wishes you would just talk to him, and it makes you want to shrink down to something he can’t see anymore. “What is it?”

You could lie. Again.

You could laugh it off, steer the conversation away, keep pretending.

You could drag this out further until the others are ready, leaving him worried and slightly upset.

You could tell him the truth about the party.

Or you could finally come clean about the feelings you have held in your heart for so long. Feelings for your best friend.

Drawing in a breath, you straighten slightly. Your hands, still held in his, still shaking, squeeze back. His eyes never waver from your face, tracing the contours of your features.

You clear your throat, but it doesn’t help much. “Uhm,” you croak. “I- I wanted- I need to tell you something.”

His fingers twitch around yours. His features fall into a deep concentration. He doesn’t rush you. Just watches. Waits.

And god, his eyes are pools you never learned to swim in.

You look away, at the wall behind him. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, I guess. But-” You inhale a quivering breath. “But I was afraid. Because I don’t know how you’ll react.”

Bucky doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. His chest rises and falls deeply, almost mechanically. There is something almost spellbound in the way he stares at you, completely locked in, completely yours. The only sign that he has heard you is the subtle press of his fingers against yours.

His head dips in a nod for you to go on.

You wet your lips. “I, uhm-”

But then something catches your attention.

The door to Bucky’s and Steve’s apartment opens.

Painstakingly slow.

You stiffen.

Bucky is still so enamored with what you were saying, he doesn’t seem to notice at first. His back is to the door.

You see heads peeking through the small gap, cautious, bodies frozen in an awkward crouch as if that makes them less noticeable.

Steve and Sam.

They are trying to slip in without a sound, their movements so unbelievably slow, exaggerated. They resemble cartoon characters sneaking through a heist.

Sam motions at you wildly, gesturing at Bucky, at himself, at the hallway, mouthing something like distract him! Keep him busy.

They almost make it, but Bucky catches the small reaction of you, the surprise. His senses are too tuned in to every little thing about you and with his brows knit together, he shifts to glance over his shoulder.

You don’t think about anything.

Your hands rip from his, and before he can turn fully, before he can see those two idiots, you grab his face.

Bucky jolts, startled, his breath hitching audibly. His skin is warm beneath your palms, the sharp angle of his jaw fitting perfectly against your hands. His wide eyes snap back to you, dumbfounded, searching.

He blinks at you. Then blinks again. Then simply stares.

His lips part slightly, breath brushing over your skin.

Your heart slams against your ribs.

This is close. Too close. Closer than you’ve ever been. Well, but not closer than you’ve let yourself imagine. But having him here in reality is something else entirely.

Sam throws you a thumbs up over Bucky’s head and a wiggle of his brows and the both of them disappear from sight into the hallway.

But you just made this worse.

And you are still holding his face between your hands.

Bucky’s lashes flicker, but he doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t fight it. Just stares at you like you’ve done something earth-shattering, like you’ve just rewritten every unspoken rule between you in a single, desperate motion.

Your pulse is a drum against your throat.

You see Bucky’s pulse thunder in his neck.

But he doesn’t move. You don’t move either.

He doesn’t breathe. You don’t know if you do.

He watches you. You watch him back.

“Doll?” Bucky practically breathes the question.

You swallow hard. Opening your mouth doesn’t help with finding words, so you shut it again. Slowly, you pull your hands away from his face.

But Bucky still doesn’t move.

His breath is still broken, his lips still parted, his brows still slightly drawn, stuck somewhere between surprise and something so deep, you’d be falling endlessly.

He is leaning in just the slightest bit, as though his body hasn’t quite caught up with his mind, not even realizing he is doing it.

And you hate the way your chest aches at the look in his eyes.

There is so much all at once and the more you stare, the harder it gets.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, dropping your gaze.

But there is movement in your peripheral.

Steve and Sam are creeping back out of the hallway, lugging something that looks like Bucky’s speaker system from his room.

And god help you, they are still moving at a snail’s pace, their motions so exaggerated, so painfully slow and obvious that you want to scream. You grit your teeth.

Fortunately, Bucky is still just staring at you, stunned.

The two are just about to reach the door, so close to getting through this ridiculous charade, when Sam’s end of the box bumps against the shoe shelf.

The sound isn’t loud, but it’s enough. Enough for Bucky’s head to instinctively turn toward the noise. Enough for his body to shift just slightly.

Your brain short-circuits.

Like completely.

Totally.

Lacking any sense.

Not only do you pull his face back.

You pull it in.

“Kiss me,” you blurt, and it’s not soft, not sweet, not anything carefully planted - it’s desperate, panicked.

Bucky’s whole face just goes wide, pure shock filtering out anything else.

Another bump.

You’re not sure Bucky even heard it, but your lips crash onto his with urgency.

Bucky freezes.

And when you say freeze, you mean freeze.

Every muscle in his body turns to stone. His hands flex before going rigid, floating in the air. His breath stalls. His spine goes straight, and the grunt he lets out - so low and gravelly, caught deep in his throat - reverberates into your mouth.

But behind him, Steve and Sam go as still. Dead silent.

You can feel them watching, their eyes practically bulging out of their skulls.

For a full few seconds, nothing happens.

But then, there is a shift. You don’t see it, but you know it. The way their disbelief turns into something smug - something amused and downright delighted. You feel the way Sam’s mouth probably stretches into that toothy and knowing, cocky-ass grin. You feel the way Steve simply looks happy.

You don’t pull away.

Instead, you wave one frantic hand behind Bucky’s back, motioning wildly, trying to get them to move.

You open an eye to see them still staring, Steve blinking rapidly, Sam grinning like a fool, nudging Steve.

But then, finally, they start creeping out of the room again.

They are gone now.

Bucky still isn’t moving.

He’s not breathing.

He’s not reacting.

And the tension stretches so tight, you swear the air could snap in half.

Because this isn’t just a distraction anymore.

This isn’t just a cover-up.

Your lips are still on Bucky’s.

Your hands are still gripping his face.

And his are trembling where they hover near your knees, as if he wants to touch you, wants to move, but his brain is still struggling to catch up with what is happening.

Then the tension snaps.

Bucky exhales against you.

It’s not just a breath - it’s a surrender. A sharp and shuddering exhale that stirs against your lips, warm and tentative, as if he is trying to feel what is happening, trying to understand the shape of this moment.

His hands flex and twitch against your legs, but he is hesitant, as if waiting for something, waiting for you to pull back, waiting for this to be some kind of mistake.

But you don’t pull back.

You don’t want to pull back.

And that’s when he melts.

He sinks into the kiss, his body softening, folding inward toward you. His fingers slide up your legs, brushing tenderly against the fabric of your pants before settling on your hips, cautious, like he doesn’t want to break the moment, doesn’t want to take too much.

Then, his lips move. It’s a slow, searching motion, testing the waters, trying to figure you out. His mouth is warm, his lips so much softer than you imagined. And hell, did you imagine.

He makes a sound - low and unsure, a hum deep in his throat that vibrates against your lips. His movements are careful, almost disbelieving. Like he is afraid this will disappear if he lets himself want it too much.

But then something changes.

Your nails lightly run over his neck, thumbs over his jawline.

And you feel the exact second the hesitation snaps.

He pulls you in.

His hands tighten, fingers digging into your hips, pulling you forward to the edge of the seat, into his chest, his grip growing needy, desperate. He seems to have been starving for this, like something in him has just broken loose.

The kiss turns deeper, heavier, a push and pull of breath and movement. He kisses you with searching urgency, trying to memorize the exact shape of your mouth, the way you feel pressed against him, the way you taste.

His lips part, just for a moment, and then he dares to press in a little more, tilting his head, fitting his mouth more firmly against yours.

He makes another sound - this time rougher, needier - a groan that slips through the space between you.

You can feel the want in the way he kisses you, in the way he angles his head to take more, to taste more, and damn if it does not overwhelm you.

The way his fingers tighten their hold, his thumbs brushing just beneath the hem of your shirt, needing to feel your warmth.

And the way he breathes you in, each exhale shaky, each inhale sharper, like he is drunk on this, on you.

Your hands find purchase in his hair, fingers tangling in the strands at the nape of his neck, and the second you pull just so slightly, he makes a sound.

A gravelly noise that shoots straight through you, heat curling at the base of your spine.

He is kissing you like he can’t help it anymore. As if he has been waiting for this exact moment, for you, for so long that he’s past the point of fighting it.

You thought he’d pull away. You thought he’d startle and demand an explanation, eyes sharp with suspicion, voice laced with confusion. But he doesn’t.

His lips only press more firmly against yours, his nose sweeping against your cheek, his chest rising and falling unevenly, breathing erratic as if he is just as lost in this as you are.

Your heart is hammering so violently in your chest, you think he must hear it, must feel it where your body is pressed to his. Your hands are slightly trembling, sliding to curl into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him. Because you have to hold on. You have to anchor before you fall, before you slip too deep into the intoxicating pull of him and lose all sense of self.

But maybe you already have.

Because he is kissing you as though he’s afraid this is a dream, testing the edges of reality with every careful, exploring movement of his tongue and lips.

He tastes like something warm, something safe, something like the orange juice you two have been drinking, something wholly Bucky. Every press of his lips, every brush of his tongue against yours, is stealing a coherent thought from your mind.

This was supposed to be a distraction. This was supposed to be a lie.

But hell, it’s not.

It’s everything you’ve ever wished for.

When you pull away, both breathless and panting, his forehead stays against yours.

Your pulse is so fast, so fluttering, and you know he can feel it, the way it thrums in your chest, in your throat, in the slight tremor of your fingers still curled loosely in his shirt.

His hot and shuddering exhale fans over your lips and it’s maddening how much you want to taste them again, how much you want to fall right back into him.

You open your eyes.

His are already on you, so close, so intent, so devastatingly blue that they don’t help at all in trying to regain a healthy breathing rate. There is something in them, something soft and devoted, something awed, like he can’t quite believe you are real, that this is real.

A shiver works its way down your spine, leaving goosebumps in its way and Bucky sees it. He feels it. His grin widens, slow and boyish almost, something that makes him look young and light, like something is lifted off his shoulders.

Your name is a breath that leaves his lips with the kind of care reserved for wishes made on falling stars.

It sends another shudder through you, and his grin turns brilliantly wide.

“That the present you were talkin’ about earlier?” he breathes, voice still hoarse, still dazed.

You huff a laugh, shaking your head. Smiling. Grinning. Like a fool. God, you can’t stop. It’s lifting your cheeks and making you feel giddy in a way you haven’t felt in so long.

“No,” you whisper back, voice airy.

“Don’t matter,” Bucky’s voice is full of affection, of something certain. His hands slide up, one cupping your jaw, thumb skimming over your cheek, the other finding the nape of your neck, fingers weaving into your hair. Holding you there. Holding you close. “Best damn present I’ve ever gotten.”

His tone is so sincere, so full of adoration, that your breath turns upside down, and you can’t do anything but feel the way butterflies are dancing in your stomach.

Heat floods your face and Bucky’s fingers flex against your skin, his smile turning impossibly brighter.

His eyes are shining with something you don’t think you’ve ever seen in them before. It’s breathtaking. It’s promising. It’s worshipful.

It’s everything.

You guess you owe him a little bit of an explanation.

There is guilt pooling in the hesitation before you speak. “Buck?” you start, voice quiet.

“Yeah, baby?” he drawls, and the way the new nickname rolls from his tongue so seamlessly makes your next inhale shatter midway, breaking into uneven pieces. You almost feel like choking.

His voice is so full of warmth, so soft, so fond. He is smiling at you and his eyes are sparkling as if you’ve just handed him the world. He is kneeling in front of you, patient and content, as though he’s got all the time in the world if it means spending it with you.

Something dizzying rushes through your veins, sparking at the base of your spine. You have to take a moment, a single, shaky pause to shove the giddiness down for later, to not let it explore the wide landscape of your heart and mind.

You clear your throat, shifting slightly in your seat, still at the edge of the armchair. Your chest almost brushing against Bucky’s. “I, uh- I do have something planned for you.”

Bucky is beaming. His amusement spills over into something so brilliant and blinding. His entire face lights up, so open, so full of adoration that it makes a feeling of pure bliss explode in your chest, sending delightful shivers down to your toes and hell, you don’t think you can handle it.

“Oh, do you?” he muses, dragging the words out slow and teasing. There is something beneath the syrupy sweetness. Something like mischief. His brows raise, eyes glinting, his lips twitch, and you know he is about to be a menace.

Tilting his head, Bucky feigns deep thought, but his eyes stay on you at all times. “Would that involve two idiots tryna sneak around behind my back?”

You blink at him.

Bucky’s grin turns wolfish and he bites his lip to suppress a laugh.

“You were actin’ all off from the beginning, doll. Knew somethin’ was up,” he states, voice a little softer, until he turns on his playful teasing voice again. “Flawless execution, sweetheart. Didn’t notice a damn thing.”

Groaning loudly, you press your hands to your face and Bucky lets the laugh out. It’s full-bodied and wholehearted. His chest shakes, his shoulders lift, his body tilts into it. And it’s such a good sound, such a lovely sound, so rich and free. It makes your own lips curl despite the frustration of the ruined surprise.

Bucky reaches up to gently pry your hands away from your face. His grip lingers, thumbs tracing over your knuckles, his touch so easy and natural.

His expression gives way to something soft. He bites his lip again, before bringing your hands up and kissing them softly, twinkling bright blue eyes trained on you and the deep flush that spreads along your cheeks.

Perhaps Bucky Barnes finally has a reason to start celebrating his birthday.

“But oh baby! Your smile.. Felt like warm sunshine after a heavy storm.. Overdose of it, is still not enough for me..”

- Zankhana

[okwonyo]

DOLLHOUSE 𓂃 彼★ them wearing glasses 𓈒

𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗜𝗢́𝗡 ᪲ 𝖽𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾, 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉, 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍, 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉.

【 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐈 】 𝑙’ ｡｡ enhypen x fem!rea 13OO established relationship ˊᯅˋ skinship kissing

骚人 ܃ for junicat :0

reblogs⠀⠀ 과 ⠀ feedbacks please

HEESEUNG

usually, you are not a jealous woman. of course it’s not a secret to you how attractive your boyfriend can be. and honestly, you are aware that he might get hit on, whether you are together or not, a lot.

frankly, you can’t really blame them. coming across your boyfriend in the street is a chance in a million and you, too, would try to get his number. that, if you weren’t already dating him.

however it’s kind of mind-boggling that he gets flirted with in sephora, out of all places, by a shop assistant. perhaps, it’s the glasses sitting on his nose that makes him more attractive— and you can only blame yourself for being the one who told him to wear them today.

you watch him avoid any physical contact with the girl until he points at you from afar, signaling that he isn’t alone. he comes back to you rather quickly, and you are to admit that his classes makes you weak in the knees.

“i’m going to tie you down to my bed next time,” you slightly pout when he kisses your cheek.

he is silent for a moment, but a grin drawing itself on his lips rather, “don’t threaten me with good time, doll face.”

JAY

beauty and magnetism lays in his every move. he can do anything, and you will gladly admire his actions for hours on end.

even when he is doing something as simple as being on the phone and getting ready for the day. from the bed he is standing next to, your gaze focuses on him holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder while tying his cravat.

the frames delicately resting on the bridge of his nose makes your heart shiver and the way he knows how it makes you feel, the way he smirks at you as he hums is driving you into a spiral.

there is nothing that you want more than his attention. you don’t wait until the call is over to stand on your knees, getting close enough to slowly remove his glasses. his gaze gets deeper and darker when you put them on.

“wait,” he says to the person on the phone when you start to pull his newly tied cravat. he puts his hands on your waist while you lean back and take you with him. he hangs up after speaking again; “i have something to take care of.”

JAKE

he is always so cute. especially when he wears glasses. not only because they look extremely good on him. but because he gets shy at the slightest compliment coming from you.

the most lovely thing about the current situation, is that you don’t need to say anything to turn him into a full blushing mess. he can hide his face in his hands and groan; “babe, stop,” all he wants. but you won’t listen to him.

“stop what?” feign innocence, fake confusion as you hold into his wrist— but you don’t try to get his face out of his hands just yet. your act isn’t really believable as you are giggling.

“you make me shy,” he mumbles. his ears are a bit pink as he separates one finger from the other to peek. he whines as soon as he sees you looking at him, “stop.”

“look at me, pretty boy,” you tease. he makes a weird song between an annoyed groan and a desperate whine again before looking at you. “you’re cute.”

SUNGHOON

it starts with a simple look from you. a subtle stare, perhaps, that he catches as soon as it starts. then it continues with a smirk, his voice reaching your ears, “do you like what you see?”

it feels like jolting awake, when his words makes you realize that your mouth is agape and that your eyes are way too wide. you find yourself unable to talk for a moment.

your boyfriend isn’t the epitome of patience, especially when he sees the adoration glistening in your eyes. therefore, he barely lets you nod before his lips collapse onto yours.

his glasses press into your skin, as well as into his, when the kiss is exchanged. “wait, princess,” he whispers quickly as he pulls away.

eyes fluttering open, you are met with the vision of him taking off his glasses and yanking them to the side. soon enough, his hands cup your cheeks for a more heated kiss.

SUNOO

you halt in your tracks when you enter the living room. it’s ridiculous, really, how taken aback you can be from seeing your boyfriend in glasses alone.

however, you can’t help it. from the second you saw him narrowing his eyes to read the menu at your first date, you were well aware that he needed glasses. but as far as you saw him, you never saw him in anything other than glasses.

yet, you have never spent the night at his place either. nor showed in his shower. nor used his clothes as pajamas. you guess that there is certainly a start to everything.

“why are you looking at me like that?” his laugh is sincere and fond, his gaze observes you coming closer and sitting next to him on the comfortable couch.

with a teasing smile you hold out three fingers for him to see, “how many fingers do you see right now?”

he tilts his head to the side and your heart flutters when his messy hair follows his motion. “three but there will only be two when i will bite one off.”

JUNGWON

once, you told him that he looked cute in glasses and ever since then, he has not worn anything else than this specific accessories when you see each other.

of course, you are aware of the fact that he is teasing you. he is doing everything to annoy you or get a little bit of your attention. the man knows exactly what he is doing and he is sure that it works.

he pulls you on his laps in a swift mention when you pass by the couch. a pout is formed on his lips as he talks to you, “i wore glasses for you,” he barely starts and you already feel hot inside. “won’t you give me attention?”

there is nothing more frustrating, nothing more irritating than the way he manages to leave you speechless. his gaze, through those big glasses, manages to get a blush creep on your cheeks.

you are wearing an expression between shyness and frustration when you hear his giggles. perhaps because of your grimace, perhaps because of the flushed face, but he kisses you.

RIKI

“what are you doing?” the tall man jumps slightly when you ask. his reaction would be appropriate, given the fact that you appeared from nowhere, if he wasn’t in your role when you were not here.

he slowly turns away from where he was looking at, his reflection on the mirror he is standing in front of follows him. he looks at you with a slight grin on his face and he is already too attractive for you to not almost lose it when you notice the glasses he is wearing.

“your mom let me in,” he says. if you were to be honest, you would admit that you aren’t really listening to what he is saying. “i was waiting for you.”

you step towards him, “what are you wearing?” you ask in lieu of giving him a greeting. the question may be a bit rhetorical, because you know exactly what he is wearing; your glasses.

“oh? it’s you—” he isn’t able to finish his sentence. he doesn’t want to anyway. no, he’d rather let you kiss him breathless.

taglist open + net— @sgz-net

[valentinedrifter]

Days with Sakura: Routine

male reader x Miyawaki Sakura

~8.6k words

A/N: Thanks to @msafterhours for reviewing the first section, much appreciated! I did not spend most of my time looking at Smash Bros combos.

Enjoy!

“Yo!” 

You slam her down to the ground so hard the impact makes her go up into the air before you give her a kick to the back and she’s falling, reeling from the hits, desperately trying to steady herself because she knows that this is spiraling into something she can’t control, something that can make her lose.

And she absolutely despises losing.

But you don’t let her. Not when this is a chance at triumph. At claiming the crown that was rightfully yours. At winning.

So you jump, diving down, chasing her into the abyss to send a dropkick that connects to her stomach, the air in her lungs forcefully exhaled as she flies into the air once more, body out cold, acceptance on her face as she’s been beaten.

But you won’t leave it at that. You wanted, no, needed to be sure that you’ve won this fight because you’re petty like that, wanting to humiliate her, to set the tone for your next duel.

That’s why when you throw this insane left hook that hits her right in the face, absolutely rocking her shit, you feel the pressure in your chest gone, replaced by this intense joy that gets you to close your eyes and smile in bliss as one word rings out.

“Game!”

—

“And that,” You’re giving finger-guns in her direction. “Is a win for me.”

Sakura’s shaking her head, placing down her controller and giving you an exaggerated set of claps. “Good for you, just need to beat me-” She’s glancing down at your makeshift scoreboard, composed of chips stacked up on two plates. “-two more times to even it out.”

Ever since Chaewon re-debuted in Le Sserafim and introduced you to Sakura, who immediately found out that you also played video games on an unhealthy level– Probably a lot more than her–this has been the norm between you two, every Saturday, five on the dot, always in your apartment. 

It was awkward at first, when she sent a text saying that she’ll be coming over to, and you quote: ”Beat your ass in this new fighting game.” That awkwardness became a lot more apparent when she did come over, knocking on your door, letting herself in, console in hand asking where the TV was.

You thought she’d be all talk, so you let her set it all up while you grabbed some drinks and snacks since you might as well be polite, and came back to her handing you a controller and telling you to choose your fighter. 

She then proceeds to pick this weird looking wrestling lion and grab-combos you into the next round, forcing you to forgo any sort of discomfort between the two of you and just focus on winning.

Definitely wasn’t because your ego took a hit, no.

You spend the next few hours beating the shit out of each other with a Bruce Lee wannabe, an American monk, a robot that self-implodes, and a lot more ridiculous characters before you took a break to satiate human needs, like food.

And bulgogi? That’s the bomb.

It was after that where you two started to be more than mere acquaintances that met through a mutual friend, instead becoming trusted gaming buddies who meet up every week to sit back, attempt to relax when playing games with Sakura, and actually relax after.

It’s fun, a good way to de-stress after long weekdays of dance practices and programming, where you can tell her all about your dumbass boss that keeps piling on work mid-sprint, and where she can tell you how pissed she was when she woke up early for a photoshoot that was rescheduled last minute.

You didn’t notice things changing into something more intimate until Chaewon brought it up over a call once.

“So when is Unnie gonna move in?” Chaewon’s voice rings out of your phone as you’re busying yourself with the food you’ll be eating when Sakura inevitably comes by.

“She’s not.” 

“It definitely feels like it.” She’s trying to instigate something with this, you’re pretty sure. “You bought a new closet almost exclusively to store the amount of clothes that she’s stacked up there.”

You stopped mid-swing of the knife, pausing, mind racing to think of an excuse because you don’t exactly have a defense for that one. Not when you bought it because your own closet was getting overrun with her clothes rather than yours.

And you didn’t even stop to think about whether you should or shouldn’t have bought that in the first place.

“So, is she moving in?”

“No, Chaewon.” Even you can hear the bullshit coming from your mouth. “She’s not.”

And when Sakura left to head back to her dorm that day was the day you finally stopped to notice all the things she’s left at your apartment, from the second closet full of her clothes, to the toothbrush and makeup that she leaves on your bathroom counter, and in the way she acts like she’s at home whenever she visits you.

It forced you to rethink all the times she’s slept over when your sessions drag on late in the night, when she takes up residency in your guest room or straight up snoozes on your couch, leaving you alone with the task of cleaning up the mess you made together.

It feels oddly domestic when she sleeps in while you make breakfast in the morning, giving her the leftovers as takeout when she has to leave and you’re left waiting till the next weekend.

The thought of having that be a daily occurrence wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, you just didn’t know what it meant for you and her now that you started to realize everythin-

“Hey!” Sakura’s smirking, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Last one got you tired already?”

“Not a chance.” You hit back, trying to hide the fact that you were thinking of her by hitting the ‘Choose Character’ option on the screen. “Still gotta even out the score.”

And she’s rolling her eyes as she laughs. “You seriously think you can catch up?”

“I think,” You’re confident, so sure of yourself, the high from last round’s win coming back in full force. “I can beat you-” A finger pointed. “-three times in a row.”

“Yeah?” She’s leaning in, so close you can feel her breath on your face. “Is that a bet?” The innocence in her smile didn’t feel real, and when she sees you hesitate, she bites her lip in a way that causes alarm bells to go off in your head, and that’s when you start to crumble.

“Yeah.” You’re stuttering, your composure gone, wrecked, left fumbling, so you decide to stare back at the screen to choose your fighter and avoid looking anywhere near her. “Set the rules Kkura.”

“Alright.” She’s pulling back, giggling, like she’s been waiting for this moment for so, so long. “Loser has to do anything the winner wants for the night.”

You freeze. Your head turns, Sakura’s eyes on you, full of mischief, those lips grinning, and you don’t know what the hell she’s saying-

“What?” Your mouth moves out of reflex, automatic, brain trying to catch up with what she said and she’s laughing again, finally deciding to face the screen to choose her character.

“What?” She repeats with a deeper voice, clearly mocking you, trying to get you riled up, to get you to lose control. “Too much of a pussy, nerd?”

You let out a scoff, forearms resting on your thighs as your chest leans forward and select some angry dude with daddy issues as your fighter. “Oh, it’s on now.”

You’re so focused on the game that you didn’t even notice that Sakura was giving you a look that spells trouble.

—

The match started off normal enough.

She hits you with a combo, you hit back with your own, you two trade lives till you each have one left; It feels like any regular fighting match you two have, always down to the last punch, the last block, the last mistake either one of you make before you start up another round.

And this time, you made that mistake by not blocking her grab, allowing her to set up her set of moves on your fighter. She’s jabbing, kicking, your health bar getting lower and you’re already mentally preparing to do what she wants until she drops the combo.

Wait. What?

You sneak a glance at Sakura, who’s still facing the TV, looking like she wasn’t bothered by what she did. But you know her, all those months of playing different games and you’ve never once seen her drop any sort of combo without a reaction.

Yet here she is, a poker face replacing her usual bright reaction, hands still on her controller, fingers unmoving. And she’s just waiting. Just staring at the game, waiting for you to make the next move.

Your eyes look forward, you hear shuffling from your side except you’re too focused on your character, already mashing hits, your want to win overriding anything else and before you know it you hear the words “Game!” ring out of your speakers. And then you finally look back at Sakura to gloat but you can’t make the sound come out of your mouth because holy shit.

She’s a lot more closer to you, shoulders practically touching yours, coat off her body, thrown to the side, and you see her in only a tank top that hugs her chest, showing off a hint of cleavage and the skirt that’s just teasing you with what’s underneath; Your eyes are glued to her chest cause she’s not wearing a fucking bra seeing that there’s only one set of straps on her shoulders-

“Hey, nerd.” Sakura leans her slim frame in the doorway, eyes down on her phone. “Tits or ass?”

Your mouth opens. Then it closes. The cycle repeats. “This sounds like bait.”

She lets out a sigh and waves her phone at you. “The girls are fighting over whether or not tits or ass is better.”

“Uh-huh.” You squint, before going back to typing out an email on why you’re reverting back a piece of code. It’s also a good way to distract yourself from the question. “And why does my opinion matter?”

“We need a tie breaker since Kazuha and Yunjin are adamant on ass being better-” You can definitely see why they’d be on that side. “-and we didn’t want to keep this conversation going any more than it has to, so.” She shrugs and makes these jazz hands at you, making this a lot more funnier than it actually was. “What’s the verdict?”

“Jesus Christ…” You mutter out, pinching the bridge of your nose before swiveling your chair to face her. “Can’t I just say that both are great?”

“No cop-out answers.” Her fingers are ready to type out your answer, eyes showing a glint of anticipation. “Pick.”

“Fine.” An exasperated look. “Tits. Happy?”

“Gimme a reason and I will be.” The sound of her phone’s keyboard ring out of your room.

You groan, regret already settling in as you-“Because the visual overload of tits and a pretty face look nice.” You snap back to your laptop, the embarrassment from saying that to Sakura of all people making your ears burn. The fact that she’s laughing as she leaves stresses you out even more.

You are never going to live this down.

You will your eyes back up, trying to forget the fact that you were looking at her chest, so you focus on her hair that she recently dyed brown held up into a messy ponytail, on the eyeliner that makes her eyes look sharper, on her lips that are curled at the corners-

“Checking me out nerd?” She’s asking like she doesn’t know the effect she has on you, like she didn’t see your eyes roaming her body, like she didn’t see you stalking her like prey.

“No.” And you’re back to stuttering, back to avoiding her gaze like the little bitch that she’ll tell you that you are, trying and failing to center back at the bet you two have by trying to calm yourself and your hard-on down with deep breaths.

“It’s alright.” She shrugs, fingers pressing ‘Restart’ button and it’s loading back up again. “You can look all you want.” Suddenly her mouth’s on your ear, tits just about fucking your arm and she blows. “Maybe you can even touch if you win.”

She’s got your mind in all sorts of fucked that you don’t even realize that the next round’s begun. She’s already started throwing hands on the screen, trashing you all over the arena while you’re here trying to get your head back in the game, literally and figuratively. 

By the time you’ve gotten your bearings back from Sakura existing next to you, she’s taken one of your lives, your character flying back into the arena and hers stopping to look at you. Taunting you, giving you a chance to fight back after you’ve mentally reset yourself.

And fight back you did. Doesn’t mean she’s gonna make it easy for you.

You’re in the middle of flinging her across the screen when you feel her shoulder brush yours, a whiff of her perfume dancing along your nose. It smelt familiar, but you’re too focused on winning to try to recall when you last got a trace of that scent.

When you manage to bump her down to her last life, she puts an elbow up on your shoulder, the sounds of buttons being smashed intensifying, along with it the smell of her perfume. It tasted sweet, fruity, with a hint of leather hiding underneath all of it-

“Which one’s better?” Sakura holds up two bottles, one red in the shape of a woman’s curves, another colored pink shaped like a heel.

“Better for what?” You’re cleaning up your living room, minutes after getting your ass handed to you in a racing game. “You’re going back to your dorm, Saku, not a show at Inkigayo.”

“Cause Kazuha wants to know what would smell better for her date tomorrow.” She hits back, shoving the heel-shaped bottle on your hands. “And you’re the only one I know that collects perfumes like they’re action figures.” 

That wasn’t exactly a lie, with the way you have your perfumes strewn out across one of your bedroom desks, all of them for different occasions. “So try them out, nerd.”

“Alright, alright.” Chuckling, you spray it onto your wrist and pull it close to your nose. “This is girly as fuck.”

“No shit it’s girly as fuck, it’s a women’s perfume.” She’s rolling her eyes, pulling your wrist to smell it herself and immediately pulling away with a look of mild disgust. “Yeah that is girly as fuck.”

You hand her back the perfume and take the red one from her grasp, spraying it on your other wrist and sniffing. “A lot less girly, this one.”

Arms are crossed and eyes are narrowed at you. “Can you shut up about the girly stuff and actually give me a decent answer?”

“In a couple.” Now you’re the one rolling your eyes, alternating wrists to try and see whatever difference the two had because they smelt the same at first glance. Didn’t help that you’re not used to comparing women’s fragrances, since you are a guy and all that.

“Alright.” You grab both bottles and raise them up, the heel-shaped bottle higher. “This one is really girly, like sexy girly.” You give the bottle a little shake. “It’s fresh, a bit too powdery and sweet for my taste but not a deal breaker.” You put the bottle down on the table next to the empty cans of soft drinks you were about to throw out. “Overall, it’s a good option. Screams bold.”

You hold the curvy bottle in both hands, like you’re advertising a product in front of some big shot CEO. “Now this one-” You raise it up higher. “-is a bit similar to that, but a lot more mature, seductive, with the leather at the back of all the fruity-ness it has.”

Now both bottles are right next to each other, staring back at Sakura who’s still waiting for an actual answer. “So if it was me, you can tell Kazuha that-” You clap and point at the heel. “You pick this one if you want to wow the guy.” Then you point at the curvy bottle.

“You pick this one if you want to get fucked.”

“Game!”

Your character’s doing his victory pose, the soundtrack blaring out and the smell of her perfume that you picked out specifically for a date with a happy ending in mind still attacking your nostrils while the weight on your shoulder is heavier now.

You don’t want to look at her direction, not when she’s getting you with these small little things that she knows will drive you wild, so you reach out to the table in front of you in an attempt to cool off because your libido is at an all time high.

It sounded like a solid plan, until you hear your name being whispered out by Sakura–you hear it crystal clear–that causes you to throw the plan out the window because you turn your head and she’s right there.

Sakura’s arms are wrapped around yours, her chin on your shoulder and she’s got this smile that lights up her face, making you forget everything that’s happening between you two because she’s just so…stunning. Drop-dead gorgeous. An absolutely knockout of a woman-

“Another win for you.” Her voice, unusually soft compared to the usual teasing glint that it has, her gaze taking you in, like she was the one checking you out this time. Then it disappears, the grin you always see back in place, and she leans back to laugh.

“Guess I should step it up then.” She’s already moving, maneuvering the game to choose new characters for the both of you while you follow through on grabbing a drink, mind occupied with choosing who you’ll be using next. 

So you take a few sips of your drink, counted to ten, picked a guy with long silver hair, and tried your best to put away the fact that this was becoming less of a bet and more like you’re being made to face the tension that’s slowly been rising over the months that Sakura has been meeting up with you under the guise of ‘gaming sessions’. 

Now she’s forcing you to face it by using what you told her to her advantage, because she’s right next to you, wearing a top that’s on the verge of spilling her tits out because you told her you liked tits more, perfume applied meant to get her fucked because you told her it would, and it is working.

“Ready?” She clicks on the ‘Random’ map.

“For you to lose again?” You snark back. “Anytime.”

She chuckles, eyes twinkling, like she has another trick up her sleeve, and she acts. Propping her feet up onto the other end of the couch, she lays her head down on your lap, right next to your dick that you’ve been desperately trying to calm down.

And you’re spiraling once more, doing anything and everything to not let her know you have a hard-on because of her, from thinking of next week’s work, of how to set up your character’s combos, of when the last time you and Sakura were in this same exact position-

“Do you ever get lonely here?” Her head on your lap, her hair tangled on your hands, moving so gently, so soft, so soothing; It was relaxing, a change of pace from the regular program that you two always had.

It was always the same–she comes over, you two catch up a bit, play the game of the week, and have dinner. Then she’ll either get picked up by her manager or she sleeps over. It’s simple, routine, standard procedure between you and her.

This went on for the first few months that you’ve been hosting her, until she came over one time, earlier than usual. The keys rattle, the door swings, then you see her, shoulders slumped, eyes dim, body diving into yours. 

You feel your shirt get wet, and you start moving on autopilot, holding her, comforting her, settling her down on the couch before she starts breaking down.

And you let her. You let her choke on the air before she breaks the dam that she’s built up, let her be this blubbering mess, let her give out these suffocating sobs. It was ugly, messy, and tissues will definitely be required but you didn’t move, didn’t speak, you were just…there.

You don’t know how long it’s been since she started bawling her eyes out or how long she’s been bottling this up; By the time she’s somewhat calmed down and her crying’s reduced to sniffling she’s moved from holding onto you for dear life to being in your lap, using the sleeve of your sweater as a makeshift tissue.

“Sometimes.” You let out, and you’re surprised at how honest you are with her. It was always light, teasing, fun between you two, never delving into the thoughts that occasionally lingered whenever Sakura would leave every weekend. 

Didn’t want to make it complicated. For her or for you, well, you don’t have an answer for that.

“But I guess that’s why I play video games all the time.” You continue, brushing a hand on her bangs, showing a puffy, red, damp face. “Gives me new imaginary friends every other day.” And now you’re joking, hoping to lighten the mood, to cheer her up, maybe even to keep things uncomplicated between you two.

She lets out this weepy, shy laugh. “You are such a fucking nerd.” She stammers out in between sobs, hiding herself further into your lap. “But you’re my nerd-” She blows air through her nose, gaze staring back up at you. “-so, thanks.” And it’s the first time she’s smiled at you like that.

Lovely. Peaceful. Genuine.

Suddenly complicated didn’t feel like a bad option now.

“You alright?” Sakura’s pulling you back from the memory, back to the present, back to pretending that her head’s not right next to your cock. “Gotta give your A-game if you want to win the bet.” She chimes, shifting to get more comfortable on your lap, like it was made just for her.

Right. The bet.

“Loser has to do anything the winner wants for the night.”

The game begins.

Your fingers were moving on instinct, weeks of playing this character ingrained in your mind as you play the way that you would normally do, space out the attacks, punish whiffs, try not to die while you’re at it. It was safe, calculated, always waiting for the right time and the right place to hit her.

But your mind’s not fully in the game, always rounding back to her. To Miyawaki Sakura. You are trying to keep things simple, friendly between you two. It was kind of an unspoken rule you have for her knowing that she’s an idol, someone leagues above you, someone you cannot and should not get involved with for her sake. 

Maybe even for yours because you didn’t want to make things messy. God knows how weird that would get because someone–her–didn’t feel the same way.

The sounds of the game blast through the speakers; You don’t hear it. She’s up one life to yours, hitting you with intricate combos that would take weeks–months–of practice. She pulls them off flawlessly. 

Fight or Flight responses kick in your brain, one because you’re fighting back, reaching deep in your bag for moves that she hasn’t seen you do yet. Another because of her simply being right next to you.

Because she doesn’t want that anymore, does she? Not when she’s doing all of this. How she’s dressed, how she smells, how every single touch gets your heart to beat just a little faster. She wants to push things further between you, wants to have more than just the weekly meetups and competitions you have with her. 

Realizing that she wants you makes something snap into place. Like it was always there, imprisoned by your own guarded thoughts and feelings. And now it’s out, and it is roaring.

You put her down to her last life, and you play like it’s the last game you’ll ever play. You don’t play it safe, not anymore, not in a very long time in your casual career, going for the ballsy, aggressive plays. You are committing everything in these last moments, and she’s losing momentum, backpedaling, trying to shake you off-

You realize something else. You want her too. Wanted her for a long time. Maybe it was when she first crashed at your couch, or when she started to leave behind her clothes around your apartment. Maybe it was the teasing after the battles of different genres, or the smiles that brighten up the end of the week. You don’t really know when, and you don’t particularly care. 

Now you need to show her.

The game ends.

You relax, hands slacking, controller forgotten on the couch; Sakura’s left your lap, eyes fixed on yours, her own controller falling. Then she moves, standing up, facing you, climbing onto you.

Her hands wrapping around, holding your face, and she settles. “I guess you win.” She’s teasing, falling back to her walls, the sigh–you can tell how forced it is–that she lets out alongside her usual smirk that doesn’t reach her eyes solidifying it. 

She’s unsure of where to go from here so she does the only thing she can do–fall back to her own routine. Teasing, mocking, back to pushing how far she can go with you.

She’s pretending that it’s a normal Saturday for you two, that she hasn’t tried to entice you with what she’s done, hasn’t tried to push the boundaries of this setup you have with her to its limits, that you haven’t noticed what she’s been doing to your heart.

She’s waiting for your reaction, your rejection, you.

And with what everything that’s happened? Everything you thought about her, about you, about where you stand amongst all of it?

Well, you just did what your heart is telling you to do. Make it complicated.

And the kiss that you give Sakura makes the world disappear.

—

The desk rattles. If she was bothered by the pain, she doesn’t tell you. If anything, she’s more focused on touching you. And she’s everywhere, fingertips brushing your neck, nails scratching your skin, her lips against yours; She was intense, so much so that you can get lost in the feeling, the unspoken words pouring themselves into it.

You can smell her shampoo, a sweet smell of strawberries mixing with the fruitiness of her perfume that drives you crazier. Her lips are soft, tasting like cherries, and you can’t help but have more, driving your tongue inside her mouth, connecting to hers, fighting, winning, losing. She’s a fucking treat, and you’re gonna be enjoying her to the fullest.

The sighs and moans that slip through her lips sound angelic, enjoying how you feel, how you taste, and the whine of displeasure that she lets out when you pull away make you smile.

“Why’d you stop?” She’s pulling you to her, lips on your neck, leaving small kisses, tits pressing against your chest that makes you want to take her damn shirt off. “C’mere.” And she gives you these pecks that make you want her even more, the aftertaste of her attacking your lips.

“Wanted to know how far we can go.” You managed to let out, in between the kisses, the touching, the grinding. “Might do something I’d regret.” It’s a facade. She’s sending you off the edge, and you don’t know how long you can hold it in before you take her. Mold her. Make her yours.

She laughs against your lips–shivers run down your spine–and she murmurs out your name. “Somebody forgot about the bet.” She arches back on the desk, tits popping out even more, the desire to ruin her top getting higher and higher. Her eyes gleam against the moonlight, the shadows making that lip bite she sends you utterly sinful.

“Anything you want.”

The hands on her waist move, slow, teasing upwards, your touches a promise to own her. Her breath hitches, dark anticipation bubbling up inside of her, hums and giggles dancing in the air.

They reach her chest, and you feel hard nubs poking through her top; You pinch and she mewls, hips pressing hard against yours, needy, desperate. You don’t linger, moving further up. You grip. Hungry eyes on yours.

And you pull.

Fabric gives way, tearing filling the room alongside her gasping, out of desire, surprise. Pupils dilate, bodies shuddering, and Sakura grins.

“Fuck.” She dips down, clothes in shambles, chest exposed, your hands touching everywhere; Her slim waist, tight abs, perky tits. She pulls you onto one and your mouth waters, suckling, nipping. “Finally got what you wanted, huh?” She’s taunting, voice breathy, back lifting to give you more of her. She wants this just as much as you do. “Better be worth more than my shirt, nerd.”

All the while her hands are moving, unfastening draws, pulling down pants, cupping boxers. You bite a bud, holding back a moan when her hand goes under to cup your length, nails grazing, heat running through your body, while another goes underneath your shirt, eager to discover more of you.

Even now you and her are still competing, still trying to find who’ll win this dance of debauchery. And she’s trying to take control, set the tempo–too bad you had other plans.

You bring a knee up in between her thighs in retaliation, pressing against her clothed heat. A whimper escapes, hips are rolling, begging for more. A hand, enjoying the soft flesh of her chest, squeezing, pinching, goes to the zipper of her skirt, enjoying her soft skin on the way down, sending tingles that make her buck her hips faster on your leg.

“Shit–more–” She’s losing herself in ecstasy, holding onto your arms, digging into your skin, leaving scratch marks as she fucks herself on your knee. You reach the teeth of her skirt, fingers shaky with need, and pull down, pulling your knee away to let it fall. Her hips don’t stop, rocking the air, desperate to have you back. To get her off.

“Look at you-” Fingers find heat, answering her pleas, pressing into the wet spot of her panties, a dark crimson, gasps spilling from her lips, legs trembling in relief from the pressure you’ve given back. “So fucked on this.” You give a little push inside, cloth blocking you, denying her. “Think you’re up for more?”

She nods, frantic, eager. She’s conceding defeat, resistance now a fleeting thought. You take full advantage of it.

You whip her around, bending her over the desk, a hand on the small of her back, ass wiggling because after everything, she’s still so impatient. Still dripping, still aching, still needing your touch.

A sharp crack sounds out, followed by a deep breath. She stills for a moment, shock encapsulating her entire body. It was not something she thought you’d do, yet here you are, ripping shirts, slapping ass, exceeding each and every one of Sakura’s expectations.

The exhale that she lets out is shaky, filled by desire, the drag of her nails on the desk joining it, yet she presses back, obeying the silent demand.

You wander down, hands teasing her curves before you grab a handful of her ass, squeezing, her breath quickening before your palm comes down for a second dose–the other cheek, this time, just to even things out–and she wavers, almost losing herself in the sensation. Then a giggle. Sweet, dangerous, coy, troubling, addictive.

She looks over her shoulder, strands cascading around her face, swollen lips turned upwards, eyes burning with desire, arousal, defiance. She presses back even further, ass against your bulge that’s been in dire need of release.

You don’t fight her, gripping her hips instead. You shift closer, rubbing, heat on heat, raw hunger in the air. Nobody moves. It’s a challenge, waiting for someone to crack first.

She loses, deliberate, hasty, ass circling, her voice permeating the air. “Want it–” Panting follows, desperate, whimpering. “Take it out already–”

Your chest rumbles, lips wetting, thinking about how much more you can draw this out for her. And, well, she did hate losing.

“Say please.” You ask, no, demand it from her. That one word carries so much weight for her, submission, loss, all wrapped in one syllable. She’s already lost–multiple times, in fact–but this is different. This is complete, utter defeat. She pauses, thinking, debating, eyes wide, mouth panting, lips licking. And she makes her choice.

“Please.”

You’re yanking off your underwear, cock throbbing, aching, ramrod straight, fingers hooking into her panties, dragged to the side. You thrust deep in her. Hot, wet, divine. It’s a perfect fit, like she was made for you.

She moans, loud, crumbling, hands clutching the desk, body lurching from how hard you take her. She’s wet as fuck, pussy so snug it doesn’t want to let you go. You have no intention to. A hand takes hold of her ponytail, another of her hip, and you start fucking her into the desk, hard, each thrust echoing with slick, messy slaps.

She’s intoxicating, the way she clenches you with every pull of her hair, back tensing as you pound her on the desk, hearing her moan, gasp, break; You can’t get enough of it.

Each rhythmic slap of skin to skin makes her ass ripple, spurring you on. Your movements get frantic. Her moans get louder, breaking into filthy wails. She’s flawless, even with the torn shirt, the ruined panties, the pleasure that’s tearing her apart. All wrapped in the sinful indulgence that is Sakura. 

Your hold on her hair gets tighter, pulling her head back just enough to hear her cry out. You drive into her, harsher, rougher, faster. Enough to make her arms give out as she collapses on the desk. “Feel so good,” You grunt out, pressing your body flush against hers, pinning her under your weight. “Gonna make you cum, Saku-” Your hand tilts, still holding onto her ponytail, pressing her cheek on the hardwood. 

“Fuck–yes–” She pants, drunk on pleasure, eyes hazily lock onto you as she drips down her thighs, staining her legs, your cock, the floor. She’s a goddamn wreck, so suffocatingly tight, slamming harder into her, desk shuddering with each thrust. 

“More, yes, yes–” She babbles, repeating words, switching languages. “Don’t stop–close–fuck–” Her pussy grips you like a vice, trying to milk you, making you groan, sending you so fucking close to losing it and blowing it all inside her.

It took all your willpower to pull out, a whine ringing out before you plug three fingers in her cunt, pumping furiously. The long, shuddering scream that pierces through the room combines with the view of her arched back and trembling legs, announcing her orgasm. It shatters her, raw, explosive, pussy clamping on your fingers as you keep pushing and pulling inside of her. She looks completely, undeniably beautiful.

Her body slumps, the desk the only thing that keeps her up. You pull out of her, give her another slap on the ass, and she trembles. She’s reaching a hand out, trying to find you, grip your length, give you the same high you gave her.

You shift to the side where her head is resting, poking her cheek with your length. She looks up, eyes glazed, dark, hungry for more, before her mouth parts to have a taste of herself upon you.

She’s sensual with her tongue, dragging everywhere, indulging in the combined flavor of your precum and her cream. Cheeks hollow, gripping you, jerking slowly. She pops off of you, muttering under her breath, tongue sliding along your cock, over, under. She’s still murmuring when she ends up on your tip, giving it a smooch.

“Louder.” Another demand. She’s still blowing you when she speaks, except you can’t understand what the fuck she’s saying because she defaulted to talking Japanese.

You pull away, enough to be out of her reach. She tries to get closer but a hand on her hair denies her of you. “Speak properly, baby.”

A dopey smile appears on her face. A giddy giggle follows out.

“Breed me.”

Moments blur, and the next thing you know is Sakura sprawled on the bed–legs open–and you have her wet panties falling from your hands.

Hands take hold of her waist, curved to perfection, and you’re sliding down to her legs, hooking them up to her head, and you send it. 

Giving her backshots alone almost sent you off the deep end, but this view is a hell of a contender–eyes rolled back, jaw slacking, tits bouncing–as the air is full of wet squelches and dirty moans. Hands shoot out to your neck, pulling you closer, holding onto dear life as you fuck her into the bed. Her cries, now feeding into your ear, ignites something feral inside you.

“Fucking use me–” The words fuel you, pounding harder, hands pushing her higher. “More, more, more–” She’s pulling your hair, giving you this kiss that was all tongue. A deep thrust sends her moaning into your lips as she cums. Her legs tighten, wrapping around your waist as her walls clench around you, trapping you, taking you for herself.

She falls down to the bed, basking in the afterglow, your dick still deep inside of her, feeling her spasm. She’s ruined, hair sticking on her forehead, eyeliner running, chest heaving. She looks like an angel.

You let something slip out. Three words, two seconds, one meaning. It was the truth, an absolute that you needed to tell her. Sakura focuses on you, eyes melting, cupping your face, giving you this smile–real, genuine–that tells you everything you need to know. 

And she still says it anyway. The kiss that follows solidifies it.

Then her grip tightens, it doesn't matter where, and she says three completely different words that spirals you down to your baser instincts.

“Cum inside me.”

The pace you set is slower this time, gentle, showing instead of telling. All the things you want to say told through the way you hold her, fill her, fuck her. Love her.

Your hand takes solace in her waist, another cupping her breast. She hasn’t looked away from you, still holding you as you fuck her. Still moaning your name out when she kisses you in between thrusts. Still giggling like a schoolgirl on a first date.

And when you feel that pressure in your stomach rising, she hooks her arms around you, on your shoulder, your hip, as if she knows you’re about to cum. To give her everything–every thought, every word, every feeling–all in this moment.

“I want it.” A whisper. “All of it.” A name. 

A kiss.

“Please.”

Your body tenses, cock pulsing as you cum inside of her. It was overwhelming, blinding. You feel it pouring into her in waves, thick, warm. You hear her moan softly, taking it all, draining you, savoring you.

You fall on top of her, body exhausted, breathing uneven. She leaves pecks on your neck, uttering all these loving words, arms still wrapped around you like a cocoon.

Three words cut through the air.

You smile against her neck, tickling her, causing her to laugh. It was, no. She is everything you could ever ask for and more.

“I love you too.”

—

After that night, things change.

Having your feelings out in the open wasn’t as complicated as you thought. If anything, it feels great.

Like when she’s cuddled up to you in the mornings, when you’re cooking dinner together, when you two go out on dates–though she still has to hide her face, she is an idol after all.

Your apartment’s livelier now, more home-y ever since Sakura’s all but moved in, more of her stuff scattered around the rooms, the guest room abandoned in favor of yours. Now the only time you have to clean it is whenever her group comes to visit the apartment. Chaewon has been insufferable ever since.

Things change. Except, it doesn’t.

You still make her breakfast when she has to leave early in the morning. Still have your weekly gaming sessions. You still do your bets, though nobody really loses anymore. Not when you or her can do whatever you two want when you win.

Like when she tied you to the bed and rode you so hard the bed frame broke-

You’ve learned over time that Sakura goes all in on things that she wants.

A new computer? She’ll buy the latest and greatest. 

Knitting? She’ll get the best fabric available in the market. 

Fucking you? She’ll perform like it’s a year-end performance.

And she’s gonna pull out all the stops.

Dressed in nothing but a push-up bra, a pair of fishnet thigh highs and black leather boots, the power at which she slaps you across the cheek–with consent and safe words in place, of course–makes you reel, and she hauls you all the way to your bedroom and shoves you down the mattress.

“Been waiting to do this for days.” She growls out, crawling over you, pulling your wrists together above your head with one hand, and getting a pair of fabric from the nightstand with the other.

You’re still dazed from the slap, still confused on how you got to the bed, vision blurry from how rough she’s treating you. When your vision does clear, you see this trail of saliva on her lips before she spits it out, straight to your face.

“You don’t talk till I tell you.” Sakura’s relentless, pulling one of your arms up to the headboard where she wraps the fabric around it. She does it again.

It was tight, stings like a bitch when you try to pull on it, and that gets you another slap. Another serving of her spit. “Stop fucking moving, nerd.” Then a pair of fingers shove into your mouth, wet. From spit or from her, you don’t really care.

All you know is that it’s making your cock strain against your shorts, Sakura grinning above you, and the cold air brushing your legs as she pulls your shorts and boxers down, exposing you to her.

She lines herself up on your cock, pushing your head inside, then pulling it away, teasing you with it, driving you crazy. And when she sees you squirming, hips trying to thrust into her heat, she laughs.

“So fucking desperate.” And she buries herself down into you, enveloping your entire cock, her tight, wet cunt stretching to take you in. 

“Yes.” She drags it out, grinding on you, head tilting backwards, savoring how you feel inside her. “Shit-” She’s brutal in her pace. The frantic way she bounces on your cock, moving faster everytime she drops deep inside of you, rolling in between, desperate to get her high. She is definitely going to bruise your hips after.

You let out this groan out of pain, pleasure, delirium. You’re enjoying this, not as much as she does, her soaked pussy dripping down the sheets, each slick squelch blending with the slaps of your skin molding with hers and you are fucked out of your mind-

“So good-” She’s leaning down, pressing her weight against yours, lips on your ears as she whispers all the filthy things she’ll do to you. 

“Could fuck you like this all night.” 

“Gonna make you my bitch the entire fucking weekend.”

“Fucking love it, doncha nerd-” Her hands are on your throat, pressure non-existent, fucking herself harder onto your shaft, the creaking of the bed getting louder, bending under the pressure that is Sakura-

Crack.

The bed sinks awkwardly in the center, pressing you deeper into the mattress. But she doesn’t care. It just made her hornier, made her pussy wetter, drenching you more in her and all she can let out is this shaky, dirty laugh.

“I’ll buy a new damn bed-” She’s unrelenting, the force she’s fucking you getting harder, faster. “-Just  need to cum on this goddamn cock-”

Sakura’s entire body goes up, back arching, head rolling, the pressure on your throat suddenly getting tighter just as her cunt was, and she lets out this scream that echoes around your apartment. Your legs seize up, the pleasure drowning, overwhelming you. You let 

You follow her after, spurts filling her up, leaking down, mixing with hers as you’re both basking in the mess you two made, enjoying how tight her pussy is, how much she’s gushed all over you. How much she’s going to own you.

Then a laugh. “We just broke the bed.” A lick of her lips. “Might as well make the most of it.” Her hips start moving again. 

Your neighbours are going to be so angry tomorrow.

Or when you used her throat for the entire day when you won that one week-

The amount of times you’ve pushed her down on her knees today was the same as the amount of times you’ve fed Sakura your cum. It’s a shame you keep losing count the moment your cock slips back into her mouth.

She’s a mess, from the cum that’s dried up all over her face, her hair, her chest, to the spit that’s coated her chin, mixing with the cum on her, the tears that have been falling from getting her face wrecked, to the panties that she’ll most likely throw out after tonight.

Yet she’s still taking your cock like a champ, face scrunched up as you’re thrusting into your latest obsession; Her wet, hot mouth.

It was addicting, like a drug you never thought you needed, seeing your cock disappearing, forced into the back of her throat and she leans into the depravity. Hell, she doubles down on it whenever she can, hollowing her cheeks, licking your balls when her mouth meets your pelvis, fucking her own face on your length when you need a break from pistoning your hips.

Which is exactly what’s happening now, when your head’s tossed back on the couch as she’s drooling all over you, hands on your thighs, her nails raking over them; She’s inhaling your cock, her nose hitting your stomach everytime she goes down on you.

“I fucking love your mouth, Kkura.” Your hands find her hair, some strands wet from the cum that’s struck them, her hazel hair a bit darker from it. Your grip gets tighter. “Can’t get enough of it.”

And your hips are moving, plowing into her mouth again and again and again and she’s bracing herself because that’s all she can do other than the fresh tears that spill out of her eyes, the broken moans she sounds out, letting you know how much she’s enjoying being treated like a fleshlight.

The view was amazingly filthy; Sakura’s jaw wide open with your shaft, balls wet from all the spit that’s flying out of her mouth, eyes never looking away from yours no matter how dirty, rough, brutal you get with her.

Then you push her head, angling her in a way that shoves you even deeper down her throat. “Face just as good as your pussy-” You’re fucking her face harder, the tears in her eyes running in droves. She’s smiling through it all, and that pushes you even more to break her completely on your cock.

You don’t give her a warning when you cum–she doesn’t need any. You just keep going, fucking her mouth, fixated on how wet and hot and tight it was, until you feel the familiar tightening of your abdomen making you go faster, deeper.

It was animalistic, how you abuse her throat like a toy, how you pull on her hair like they’re pigtails, how she’s still holding that smile through everything you’re dishing out. Then your legs started shaking, your gut getting tighter till you can’t hold it anymore; You slam her down on your cock, giving her throat another hefty coating of your cum.

She still hasn’t looked away when she’s swallowing every drop, the gulps almost audible every time your cock shoots out another batch. She’s inhaling it like air, getting all of it down inside of her before you pull out just as you let out ropes of cum on her, applying another layer of it onto her already nasty, sloppy face and she’s glowing, humming in satisfaction, degrading herself even further.

And when you’re spent, she lets out this drunk little giggle as she cleans you up of all the spit and cum that’s left. Never once breaking eye contact with you.

She’s all sorts of ruined, and you would do it again in a heartbeat.

It’s still the same traditions and routines with Sakura. Except it wasn’t.

It didn’t just feel great. It feels right. Like it completes you.

And now you’re here with her, having another one on one-a shooter game this time-and you’ve lowkey been throwing the game, missing shots that were basically free, and Sakura’s cheering, trash talking you from across the room where you set up her computer.

But you made it close. Made her sweat for it, made her work for the win, and when she does? She gives you the same grin that she always does.

Except it isn’t.

She gives you a peck on the lips, and before you can push her further, she pulls away. “My turn this time.”

And while she rummages through her closet for something, you’re smiling, stupid, fondly, loving. You don’t tell her. You don’t need to.

Not when you can spend the rest of your life showing it to her.

“Here it is!” The grin disappears on her face, replaced with something soft, gentle. Her hands are behind her back, hiding whatever she took from the closet from you.

“You trust me?” An eyebrow lifts. “I’ll let you back out from this just one time.”

You stand up, hands on her shoulders, smiling down. “You know I do, Saku.” Then you huff out a laugh. “Do we need to use safe words again?”

“Yes. Yes we do.” She’s giggling, before stepping up on her tippy toes to give you a kiss. “But I promise to take care of you for this.”

Then her smile‘s gone, this stare–serious, ominous, wicked–taking over her entire being. 

And in her hands was purple, long, made of rubber.

It wasn’t the first time she’s brought a dildo to the table, but this one was…unique, to say the least. Smaller than the ones that she usually pulls out, a leather brace holding it upright; It’s pointed towards you, staring blankly. Menacingly.

And you’ve never been more scared and turned on in your life.

“Get the lube.” She states, head nodding off to the side, as if you know where it is. “I’m gonna fuck you in the ass, nerd.”

Is Miyawaki Sakura a freak? Absolutely. No question about it.

Do you love her regardless? Yeah. You do.

And you wouldn’t trade her for the world.

[mina-org]

part two to this!

warning for smut, 141 are panty sniffers! and more yanderery than the last! I have another part written but I just felt like was already dragged a lil so lmk if you want the next part! also not edited bc im lazy

“The birds just not fuckin’ into ya johnny. She never took this long to respond to me.” Simon smirks, truthfully he didn’t really remember but he was fucked off with this entire thing, not only was Johnny after his bird but texting you became a group sport, even the double text.

Simon seethes, usually you would've crawled back to him by now, you'd get drunk and call him sobbing from whatever pub you were at and you'd owe him, rinse and repeat.

At least if you were into Johnny he'd know what you were doing but now your absence started to eat at him, he just wondered your were like a deer fresh out the womb, learning to walk, how would you survive when Simon wasn't there to pick up your the pieces when you inevitably fell apart again.

simon couldnt take them fawning over you anymore so he returned to his bedroom, he had a little secret that he had to keep from those closest to him, your underwear. A collection really.

to start with, they were just tucked in his bag for when he was deployed, he’d push a pair around his cock, satin felt nice but the cream pair with little berries on? they were too cute and so you. He’d pump his cock until they were stick with his cum.

then when he was home more often and you were fucked too dumb to bounce on his cock, neglecting him after hes giving you so many? he'll remember that for next time. and really left him no choice but to scout out your discarded panties, maybe a fresh pair if you packed them, and he'd finish himself off before tugging them up your legs, his cum from earlier still leaking out your pretty pussy. something about you walking home in shame, carrying him with you, a sense of ownership simon loved.

now these panties were all he had, and he wasn't gonna share them. maybe with Johnny, if he was good.

after a week it just wasnt doing it for him anymore, he needed to see his girl but all his texts weren't sending:( and he hadn't seen you at the gym or the pilates class you spent so much money on. almost like your little temper tantrum was serious this time.

okay so it took simon a week or two to turn up begging, well demanding your forgiveness.

or he would've, if you answered the fucking door? after coming over and almost fighting your door guy a few times, he gets the hint, stealth is wealth and all that.

now here he is, staring at you through binoculars, on the rooftop opposite your building, like he's gathering intel or some shit. originally he was gonna keep this to himself, threes a crowd after all but it was chilly on the rooftop and simon is all about efficiency and your safety of course!

thing is, that pesky door man knows who simon is, and its doubtful a stick on moustache and boiler suit is gonna convince him that simon is also the buildings engineer!

through this process they've found out your building has a lot of security issues, nobody even thought about cyber security so when gaz sends out an email with a list of apartment numbers and a time, stating some maintenance was needed, no one bats an eye.

and of course you dont want any awkward conversations, like offering them tea or coffee 50 times while they try to focus but they'd think you rude if you dont and you can't ignore them, thats rude too. so you have to go out and stay out.

so you go shopping, you've been needing more underwear anyway!

soon enough John and gaz are in your apartment, putting up hidden cameras, slipping trackers into the linings of your most worn clothes, rifling through your belongings and testing out your perfume, trying to figure out which one you use daily from the memories of your scent lingering on simon and around the flat.

however gold is struck when they come across your laundry basket! feral is the best fitting word, Johnny will froth at the mouth once they tell him and of course share the bounty of their conquest.

taglist: @skeletonsucker @supernova2205 @wh0re4-alexademi @grr457

[aliteralsemicolon]

Crawling back to you

Masterlist

GIF by undertheniall

Prison changed a lot of things in your relationship with Spencer. The one thing that remains the same is the mutual desire to hold on to the person you love.

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

DISCLAIMER You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Minors do not interact at all. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.

WARNING: Drunk! Spencer. I think that’s it. I hope. Idk it’s been a minute I’m sorry. Proceed at your own risk.

Word count: 3.4K See notes at end for author's note & spoilers.

Full playlist

There’s instant comfort in the sound of laughter coming from somebody you love. It's the kind of laughter that bubbles from deep inside the lungs, depriving them of air and pushing their voice up an octave or two. It envelopes you; you can feel the laughter vibrating between your torsos.

“Spencer, come on!” There’s a failed sternness in your tone, you have to physically fight the giggles away by nuzzling your head in his neck. You’re sure the neighbours below you won’t appreciate the loud thud omitted from the sound of their drunken neighbours toppling over, barely a few steps into the apartment. More precisely, the tall, lanky one drunkenly toppled over and took his girlfriend down with him. 

“I’m sorry! I’m s—so,” He’s not even trying to muffle the sounds, he’s practically hysterical. “Baby—I can’t breathe.” 

“Oh my god.” You push yourself off his chest, grabbing his arms as you stand. It takes all your physical strength to pull him up. Even then, you only manage to get him to sit. “Help me out over here!”

Your plea falls on deaf ears as Spencer bursts into another, slightly more muted, fit of giggles. He places an arm around his ribs and uses the other to hug your leg, leaning his head against your thigh. The muscles in your cheeks begin to ache from how wide your grin is. You have to brace yourself using his shoulder. Your other hand lands in his hair, gently scratching his scalp. 

What even is comfort? 

Spencer would tell you that its origins can be traced back to the Latin word ‘fortis’—meaning strong—combined with the late Latin word ‘com’ to produce’ confortare’. The word ‘comfort’ as we currently know it, was derived from the later French translation of ‘confort.’ The Oxford Dictionary defines it as ‘the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.’

What possible grief or distress could there be when his lips press on your thigh, followed by a satisfied hum from the feeling of your skin? And when he looks up at you with those big brown eyes the sun's warmth seeps into your skin, despite it being the moon's hour. You look relaxed. Happy. His lips part and his mouth runs dry. Behind adoration is curiosity painted on his face.

“What?” It makes you nervous. He doesn’t reply instantly, words escape him.

“There are…hundreds of quotes I could pull apart—th—thousands of scientific comparisons I could make, but all I’m able to say right now…is that you’re…perfect. Eve—even your flaws. They’re perfect.” His brows are concentrated and you scoff half-heartedly. It’s not the sun's warmth. It’s him. He is the sun. “Which doesn’t really make sense. But—you. You make sense.”

His eyes wander frantically as he tries to keep track of his thoughts. “Does that make sense?”

Comfort.

You would equate it to the phrase ‘welcome home’. Home. Sanctuary. Retreat from the brutal realities of the cruel world. The lack of response tells him your attention is not entirely on him. He pouts.

“You’re too far away. C’mere.” He whines, his arm moving from his ribcage to tug on your hand. He leans back to make room for you on his lap.

“No, you c’mere.” You resist, trying to pull him up to his feet instead. “We need to get you to bed.” 

“Just two minutes.” 

The tug of war is short-lived; he carries more body strength. Not that he uses much, all it takes is the sweet lull of his voice for him to command you down. His hands glide up your thighs, stopping at your waist once you’re fully straddling him. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, noses nudging and gaze fixed on each other. Spencer brushes his lips against yours, gradually locking them. The kiss is slow, there’s no urgency. The kind that makes you feel like this is forever. As sure as flowers blooming every spring and leaves falling every autumn.

“Impossibly perfect.” He mumbles with a sigh, reaffirming his previous train of thought. The statement travels off his tongue so naturally. Your ears heat up and you fail to respond once again. What response can you give? More sweet affirmations are whispered, and although you don’t hear them, you feel his lips graze your cheek. 

“I love you.” He mumbles against your skin before planting a kiss. You hum in return and diffidently nestle your face in his neck. Spencer shrieks and rolls both of you on the ground. “That tickles!”

He attempts to separate his body from yours, but your arms tighten around his neck. “Let go!”

“Mm-mm.” You shake your head and nuzzle your nose further in. Laughter engulfs you again.

“You have three—ah—three seconds to let go before I start tickling you back.” 

An empty threat, he knows how much you hate it. It works, though. You push off him begrudgingly. 

“Fine.”

His drunken state confuses your playful pout for a sad one and his victorious smirk is short-lived. Spencer ejects upright, hooking his fingers under your chin with a pout of his own. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. Just my boyfriend hates me.” You dramatically sigh and lower your sight, toying with the buttons on his shirt. 

Meanwhile, your boyfriend is aghast that he has you feeling so. If only you could see the genuine furrow in his raised brows. The subtle pout of his lips and his head tilting to the side. His eyes always look like they’re pleading for something, but that’s just the cost of having big, round, beautiful eyes. 

“No. What? N-no!” He’s almost too offended to articulate an appropriate response. “Do you—no!”

Entirely baffled and unable to verbally reject your claim, he opts for physical expression to show you just how wrong you are. He cups your cheeks in both hands and lunges at you with a flurry of kisses, each landing blindly on any accessible part of your face. You anchor an arm behind you to stabilise yourself. The whole scene is chaotic.

“Spence—mmph—” 

With every kiss he inches closer until he’s practically on top of you, leaning his weight forward on one arm. His free hand cradles the back of your head and focuses entirely on your lips. Kissing you soft, slow, deep. Any worries lingering in the back of your mind can wait. Nothing exists outside the bubble you’ve created. That is, until Spencer loses his balance for the umpteenth time and, as usual, you go down with him. At least his inebriated brain had the foresight to shield your head from the hardwood floor. He falls flat on you, free hand defeatedly next to his ear. 

The two of you freeze momentarily, processing the drop. You throw your head back with a loud ‘pfft’ and both of you break out into laughter. You can hear him cackling with his forehead pressing against your jaw. It goes on for at least a minute or two. That’s when you feel it again. The sun’s warmth. It enters your system with every grappling inhale, passing from your lungs, vibrating through your ribs and taking over every limb as it travels through your bloodstream. Your legs trap his waist and you bury your hands in his hair. His other hand shifts from under your head to your collarbone. 

“You’re so silly.” He wheezes.

“I’m silly?!” You tuck your chin in, looking down at him as you push through your giggles. “You’re silly. And drunk. And clumsy.” 

It only spurs him on, nearly to the point of tears. Spencer's drinking is not a common occurrence. Up until recently, he’d been very committed to staying away from alcohol; always choosing a glass of water or some other alternative. At the start, you assumed it was a health-related preference until he sat you down and explained his history with addiction. You can count on one hand the number of outings Spencer has taken so much as a sip of alcohol throughout your relationship. The count only began after his return from Millburn. 

You’d never previously wondered if and how alcohol changes his behaviour, but now you know anyway. It’s unusual, not because he’s different, but because it’s everything you know him to be when it’s just the two of you. There's an air of freedom alongside his gentleness, attentiveness and sass. His own mind doesn’t torment him. He exists—presently, unapologetically. Or at least it was everything you knew him to be. 

Comfort.

Noun. ‘The easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.’ 

It comes in different forms for different people. For you? You’ve never known a comfort more powerful than Spencer Reid. Not the one that lays next to you every night, but the one lying on top of you right now. In all honesty, you don’t know the man you share a bed with anymore. Physically, you could describe every freckle and mole from memory. Emotionally, he’s practically a stranger. Robotic is an adjective that’s been used to describe him his whole life. It’s a literal manifestation these days. 

Your laughter starts to fade and his follows after. He doesn’t need to ask where your mind is at. Deep down he knows. It’s why he’s too afraid to meet your eyes. He can’t bear the reminiscence he’ll find.

“Too far away...” He repeats, his mumble fading as he reaches your head space.

From dawn, when he first opens his eyes, til dusk, when he finally shuts them; everything he does is part of his ritual. 

Wake up. Work. Home. Sleep. 

Somewhere along the way he’ll eat. Socialise. Read. He can’t recall doing any of it, but he knows it happened because you were there. That’s the only memorable part of it. There’s a faint image of you sitting across from him, nervously watching him nibble the meals you cook for him. He’ll force it down his throat so he doesn’t have to see the worried look on your face. The sound of your voice is slightly more vivid. Speaking at him—for him, making full sentences out of his one-word answers. Because words escape him. Visually, verbally. They’ll run from him on every page he turns; dancing around, mocking him. 

He can feel you staring. You probably don’t even know you are. 

Strange, missing somebody that’s right here. Most people know the feeling all too well, but no one can ever explain it. You can still see fragments of the man Spencer used to be under the rubble of the walls he once lowered for you. Buried too deep inside a cold, dark, liminal pit for you to rescue. A ghost trapped in purgatory. Sometimes he manifests physically. The light in his eyes returns as a culmination of the intent and curiosity he was filled with before. Every look brighter, every touch warmer. 

Comfort.

He’s just as much the source as he is the reason you go weeks without it. Your own, personal double-edged sword, threatening to slice your skin. And you’ll let him, because any ounce of heartache will melt away under the tender feel of his lips. Like slapping a bandaid over the gash and pretending it’s enough to contain the bleeding. You snap back to reality when the weight of his body lifts off you. Spencer’s on his knees cupping your thighs on either side of him, looking down at you. His irises are slightly duller than they were a moment ago. You thrust to sit up too, hands racing to cradle his face. 

“Spence?” Your meekness almost breaks him. 

His vision centres on you. You’re smiling. You have such a beautiful smile. But this one isn’t genuine. It’s a desperate attempt at keeping the pieces together. You’re so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, he hates it. His brows furrow and he blinks rapidly. The guilt of knowing he’s the reason you’ve been walking on eggshells is overwhelming. You can visibly see his heart sink and his breathing growing shallow. Panic sets in; he pushes away from you, shaking his head and backing himself against the console table.

“Spence?” You repeat worriedly, crawling after him. “Spence, what’s wrong?”

“No. No, stop. Don’t. Please.” His voice cracks and holds his arm out to keep you from moving closer. 

You don’t understand what you did to cause the rapid change in emotions. You pause, hesitantly and kneeling a little too far from him for your liking. You look to the ground and then back at him. It hurts to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Baby—”

The frustration in his tone is evident as he whispers your name with the most strained, painful pronunciation you’ve ever heard of it. It’s not as if he wants this. To be distant or keep you at arm's length, no, on the contrary, he wants to wrap you closely against his chest and never let you go. Your proximity is the only tangible testimonial of the man he once was, the one you fell in love with—the one you deserve. 

“Don’t do that…” He pleads with almost no voice to accompany his words. 

Your arms drop in your lap in defeat. All you're capable of giving him is a hopeless expression, begging him to help you understand. He looks at you accusatorily, as if to say you know exactly what’s wrong. You inadvertently confirm it by averting your eyes.

“How long are you going to pretend?” 

“What?” You pretend to mishear him, your eyes snapping back, wide and watering. 

“That everything’s okay?”

“Why…where is this coming from?” You scoff nervously.

“Nothing’s okay.” 

His direct demeanour should feel icier than it does. Instead, you find familiarity within it. You’ve seen it before. He’s used it when you’ve shown up to his apartment in the later hours of the night, lecturing you about walking alone, and often drunk. It’s been used for many other lectures too, reprimanding any self-destructive or dangerous behaviour. He’s stern, but he’s just as gentle. It’s in his nature—was in his nature. You open your mouth for a rebuttal but he doesn’t give you that chance. 

“Me, you, us. Nothing about us is okay. I’m not okay. To you. I’m not…” His tongue swipes the corner of his mouth, retreating quickly as he stares up at the ceiling and then back at you. “I’m not good for you. Anymore.”

“Spencer, no.” The response flies out of your mouth immediately. Your chest tightens and you try to inch closer to him again. And again, he extends his hand out as a signal to stop. 

“Yes! Don’t you—god—do you think I don’t see how much I hurt you? When I leave the bed before you’re awake, climb in after you’re asleep, when I stay late—”

He doesn’t have it in him to carry on when you whimper out a hum and deflate. It compels him to close the distance by shuffling to you, cupping your face.

“How long are you going to let me get away with hurting you like this?”

At times Spencer feels the skin he inhabits isn’t his own. He doesn’t recognise the face he grew up with and although he can avoid his reflection, he can’t escape reminders of his deteriorated mental performance. There’s no running from the shame he feels every time his team looks to him for answers that he doesn’t have anymore. Solutions take a significantly longer time to reach and oftentimes the realisation of the fact hits him sooner. Being ‘the genius’ is his only value, he doesn’t have anything else to offer. 

He also doesn’t have the strength to outright tell you to walk away. Even if logically, he knows you deserve better than him. Somebody who can be there to laugh with you, hold you when you cry, talk to you about anything and everything. The way he once could. You deserve a person who makes you smile out of genuine happiness. Someone who can offer you pure, whole love. It pains him that he can’t be that for you anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” He smooths your hair, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry. My sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

His lips brush against yours and both of you melt. Bandaid over gash.

You sniffle and instantly inhale, breaking out of his grasp. “You’re drunk. It’s late. Let’s just—let’s go to bed. Okay?”

He knows that you can’t avoid the reality for long, but he’ll let you try, for now. So he nods, smiling half-heartedly. You use his shoulders to push yourself to stand, helping pull him up after you. Your hands intertwine, gripping tightly and only letting go when you reach the bedroom. Both of you enter a slight dissociative state to cope with the heaviness of the situation. He sits you down on the bed, falling to his knees before you. At first, you mistake his intentions as lustful. He guides your ankle to his knee and starts to remove your shoes. The bitterness is fleeting and dissipates into disgust with yourself for thinking so lowly of Spencer. Your Spencer. 

Comfort.

He motions for you to stand so you do. Naturally, he takes care of you before himself. He works to rid you of your pants, sliding them down your legs. You don’t question him this time. His hands trail up your bare legs, skimming past your clothed hips and stopping at your waist. He buries his face in the soft of your belly, squeezing your sides and exhaling deeply. You card his hair, holding him. To any third party, it’s an entirely romantic scene, but you suppose Romeo and Juliet’s corpses appeared just as romantic tangled together. Star-crossed lovers. A regrettable cliché for sure. 

The moment passes and Spencer stands, removing your shirt and leading you towards the bathroom. He opens the door for you, but doesn’t follow you inside, allowing you some space to carry on your night routine. Tonight’s routine consists of you staring in the mirror for god knows how long before splashing cold water on your face. You’re not sure whether to be surprised when you exit the bathroom to see your favourite pajamas laid out for you. Current or old, drunk or sober, you suppose Spencer’s attention to detail is the one constant thing about him. You slip into the pajamas and find your place next to him on the bed, but not before setting some water and pain relief on his side table.

You give him one last glance before turning off your lamp. He’s facing away from you, messy brown curls splayed out against his pillow. Darkness surrounds you temporarily before the dim light from the moon sets in. You’re about to set your head down when he speaks. 

“I…I wish I could go back.”

“Hmm?”

He rolls over and you reach to stroke his cheek. It’s cold, wet. He’s been crying.

“To being him.”

“Baby…”

“I can see the way you look at me sometimes. It’s the same look I see in the mirror every morning.” He takes hold of your wrist.

You shuffle closer, placing a chaste kiss on his nose. Maybe if you had any energy left you’d try to deny it, but right now you don’t have a better response to give. 

“I wouldn’t blame you if you left, you know.”

“Shhhhh.” You can’t bear the idea. Just him raising it enough to flood tears to your eyes. 

Silence takes over and you pull him closer into your arms, resting his head against your chest. A sob racks through him, his hands scrunching the sides of your shirt. It’s jarring to see him cry so openly to you. You’ve never seen this version of him so vulnerable. You can feel the ghost slipping away. 

“Please don’t leave me. You’re all I have left of him.”

It’s entirely contradictory. A conflict between morality and desire uttered so breathlessly that you almost miss it. It shatters your soul. 

“I won't.” You reply in an even quieter voice, doing your best to hold back your own sob.

Comfort.

You’ll wait for it to come around again. For now, you wrap yourself tighter around him, both your faces drenched in tears, too afraid to let go. In all your grief you failed to notice something hidden in plain sight. If anybody misses Spencer Reid more than you, it’s Spencer Reid himself.

“Don’t go.”

You can’t say who the words come from, but you know that they’re not for you. They’re meant for somebody who’s no longer with you.

Spoilers: Post-prison Spencer, established relationship, fluff, hurt with (kind of) comfort, angst, ambiguous-ish ending. Idk I wasn’t present when I wrote it tbh.

AN - Heyyyy I know it’s been like over 5 months but in my defence. Also this could have been better, but writing literally hates me, so you get what you get. Guys please don’t worry about the grammar, I was in a mood and it’s all very dramatic and correct because I’m right and English is wrong. Also, I was bullied, blackmailed and emotionally coerced into posting this.

Okay, so I will see you soon or like in another 5 or more months maybe who knows?

Thanks for reading!

[luv-lock]

ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤALIEN GIRLㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☆⁠ PAIRING : Yandere Mark Grayson x Fem Qu Reader Part 1

☆⁠ HEADCANON : He was just living his life when put of nowhere an alien girl cling to his arms and start following him around...

☆⁠ NOTES : Qu is an alien species from the book All Tomorrows. You can learn more about her here. English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

Mark didn’t see you coming. One second, he was standing in the middle of a battlefield, panting, body aching from the fight, hands still slick with blood that wasn’t his. The next second, there you were, stepping out of the shadows like some ethereal creature, all glowing skin and impossibly long hair that cascaded over your body, shielding you like a silk curtain.

Mark thought you were scared. You looked fragile, standing there barefoot, naked yet somehow untouched by the carnage around you. He was about to ask if you were okay when you moved—graceful, slow, head tilting to the side like a curious cat.

Then, your soft fingers brushed his blood-streaked face.

You murmured something—words he couldn’t understand, a language that sounded like whispers and echoes in his ears. And then, with all the trust of a child, you leaned against his chest, pressing your face into him like he was some kind of anchor in this violent world.

Mark froze.

What the hell was happening?

And then, you clung to his arm like a koala, looking up at him with wide, fascinated eyes.

Mark had no idea what to do with you, but you weren’t giving him a choice.

You refused to let go, practically draping yourself over his arm as he stumbled his way back home. His mom nearly had a heart attack when she saw you—her reaction a mix of "Oh my god, why is there a naked girl in my house?" and "Mark, what the hell did you do?"

"Mom, I swear I don’t know what’s happening!"

You, meanwhile, just looked around the house like it was the most interesting thing in the universe. You poked at the couch, stared at the TV, then climbed onto the kitchen counter and perched there like a bird, blinking at them.

Debbie sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Mark. Explain."

He couldn’t. But after a lot of fumbling (and covering your body with his hoodie, which you hated because it felt weird), he managed to get out the basics—he had no clue who you were, where you came from, or why you were so attached to him.

You just sat there, listening, then suddenly spoke in that broken, childlike way of yours:

"You... kill. I like."

Debbie paled.

Mark choked.

"Oh my god—Mom, she doesn’t mean it like that!"

Living with you was... an experience.

For starters, you didn’t understand clothes. You hated them. Every time Mark turned around, you’d somehow gotten rid of his hoodie again, leaving you naked and unbothered.

"You need to wear something," he groaned, shoving his oversized T-shirt over your head.

You frowned, tugging at the fabric like it personally offended you.

"Feel bad. Skin... not like."

"Yeah, well, people don’t just walk around naked!"

"Why?"

"Because—it’s—!" He groaned. "Because it’s not normal!"

"...I am not human."

He blinked. Well, yeah, you had a point.

Then there was the affection.

You had zero concept of personal space.

You liked to lick him. For some godforsaken reason, you’d decided licking was a perfectly acceptable form of communication.

"STOP THAT!"

"Tastes... good."

"You don’t just—!" He wiped his face, groaning.

You also bit him. Soft little nibbles on his arm, his shoulder, his ear, like you were testing how breakable he was.

"You are... soft. Not strong."

"Gee, thanks."

And sitting? You didn’t just sit near him. No, you sat on him. On his lap, on his back, wherever you felt like. He had to physically pry you off sometimes.

And the worst part? You had no idea how attractive you were.

You were practically a walking wet dream—long, silky hair, an impossibly perfect body, and this innocent way of touching him that was definitely not innocent.

And you had no clue. None.

Amber took one look at you and decided she hated you.

And well... you hated her too.

The first time Amber put a hand on his arm, you straight-up tried to kill her.

“YOU CAN’T JUST KILL HER!”

"She touch." Your eerie, beautiful face was dead serious. "She want take. I no let."

Mark wanted to die.

"She’s my girlfriend!" he hissed.

Mark had to sit you down and explain what a girlfriend was.

You did not like it.

"Girlfriend? You Mark female?"

"Well, yeah."

You squinted. Stared at her. "…You weak."

“EXCUSE ME!?”

You nodded, completely serious. "Not strong. Not fast. Not smart. No fly. No fight. Not pretty. You ugly."

Amber shot Mark a glare. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU BRING HOME?!"

Mark dragged you away before you could start a fight.

You pouted. "She not good. She touch you."

"That’s what girlfriends do!"

"...You are mine."

Mark choked.

"No, I—No, I’m not!"

You blinked at him, looking utterly confused. "You are not... mine?"

"NO."

"...Why?"

Oh god, he needed a drink.

You’re Scary Sometimes

For all your innocence, you were still a Qu. A god-like being that viewed others as nothing more than ants.

And sometimes, it showed.

It started small.

A man touched his shoulder. Grabbed it.

Mark barely had time to register it before you lifted your hand, eyes dark and unblinking—

And the guy screamed.

His body convulsed. Twisted. His fingers elongated, skin peeling away as new, foreign muscle formed underneath. His eyes bulged, then split, spreading across his forehead like something from a horror movie.

By the time it was over, the man was not a man anymore.

He collapsed, shaking, his new limbs twitching in confusion.

Mark’s stomach dropped. "What the fuck?!"

You blinked at him, tilting your head like a confused child. "...Touch you."

"THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU TURN HIM INTO A—A—WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS!"

Your lips wobbled. You pouted, shoulders hunching like a scolded puppy.

Mark groaned, running a hand down his face. "Oh my God. You can’t do that to people just because they touch me."

"But... mine."

Mark felt his brain short-circuit. "...What?"

You curled up, pressing your face into his chest. "You... mate. Mine."

Oh. Oh, fuck.

Or the other time Mark found you kneeling over a man in an alley.

His body was trembling, eyes wide with horror, and you were just staring down at him, hand on his forehead, eyes blank.

"What are you doing?" Mark shouted.

You turned to him slowly. "I... fix."

"...Fix what?"

"He was... bad. I change him."

The man sobbed.

Mark dragged you away before he could find out what the hell you meant by "change."

Mark didn’t realize how much he cared about you until Amber dumped him.

He was crushed, sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling like absolute shit.

Then you climbed into his lap.

He barely had time to react before your soft lips pressed against his.

He stiffened. "Wh—?"

You kissed him again, warm and slow, like you were tasting something new.

"You are sad," you whispered. "In movie, this... makes better."

He swallowed. "It’s not that simple."

You tilted your head. "I like you."

His heart stopped.

"...You do?"

You nodded, wrapping yourself around him like a living blanket.

"You are mine?"

This time, he didn’t say no.

Mark sat there, your warmth pressed against him, your arms wrapped around his shoulders. You looked up at him with those unreadable, almost otherworldly eyes—eyes that had seen things he couldn't even begin to imagine.

He should have pulled away. He should have.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he exhaled slowly, resting his forehead against yours. "You don’t really understand what love is, do you?"

You blinked, tilting your head in that way you always did when you were thinking. "...No."

"Then why do you like me?"

You hummed, considering, then slowly pressed a hand to his chest. "You... interesting. I watch. You fight. You... strong."

That made him snort. "You literally see me as a pet project, huh?"

You nodded. Dead serious.

He laughed. It wasn’t bitter this time, wasn’t weighed down with heartbreak. Somehow, you always had this way of distracting him, of making the world feel like something less heavy.

And then, as if you hadn’t just kissed him and staked your claim, you curled up against him, burying your face in his neck.

Mark stiffened.

"...You’re really affectionate, huh?"

You hummed. "Like... touch. Warm."

Oh, he was so screwed.

Mark thought living with you was weird before.

Now? Now it was a full-on disaster.

Because before, you were just a weird, beautiful alien girl who clung to him and had no concept of personal space. But now, you thought you were his.

Which meant you took full advantage.

You never let him sleep alone anymore. It didn’t matter where he was—his bed, the couch, even the floor—you would find him and drape yourself over him like a human-sized cat.

Clothes? Still a big no. You refused to wear anything besides his shirt. Which meant Mark spent half his time panicking whenever his mom walked into the room.

You licked him. Still. All the time. He’d be eating? Lick. Talking? Lick. Taking off his shirt after training? Lick.

"STOP THAT!"

"Taste... good."

"I AM NOT FOOD!"

But the worst part?

You still had no idea what was appropriate or not.

Like the time you walked into the shower.

Mark had never screamed so loudly in his life.

You just blinked at him, completely unbothered, and sat on the edge of the tub, staring at him with zero shame.

"You... hide body?"

"YES, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DO!"

"...Why?"

"BECAUSE IT’S WEIRD TO BE NAKED TOGETHER!"

You stared at him like he was speaking nonsense. "We are always naked together."

His soul left his body.

"...Get out."

"No."

"GET OUT!"

Mark was pretty sure nothing in his life had been more frustrating than trying to explain dating to you.

"It’s... you know, it’s when two people like each other and decide to be together."

You nodded, fascinated. "And then... kill?"

"...No. No killing."

You frowned, disappointed.

He sighed. "It’s about love."

You blinked. "What love?"

He opened his mouth, then froze.

Holy shit, how was he supposed to define love?

"Uh... it’s... it’s when you care about someone more than anyone else," he tried, scratching the back of his head. "You want them to be happy. You want to be with them. You feel safe with them."

You considered, tilting your head. "I feel that with you."

Mark’s breath caught.

You said it so casually. Like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it was just... obvious.

"...You do?"

You nodded, then climbed into his lap, straddling him. "So... we date?"

His brain short-circuited.

"N-No! That’s not how—!" He groaned, face burning. "You don’t just sit on someone’s lap and say that!"

You pouted. "Why not?"

"Because—it’s—!"

He gave up. There was no winning with you.

Cecil already didn’t trust you.

And then you had to go and prove why.

Mark was at GDA headquarters when Cecil’s men dragged in a criminal. A guy who’d murdered at least thirty people.

You watched him. Quiet, blank, calculating.

Then, before anyone could stop you, you walked up to him, pressed a hand to his forehead—

And changed him.

Right in front of everyone.

Mark watched it happen. Watched the man’s entire personality shift, his eyes go blank for a second before filling with something new.

When you stepped back, he fell to his knees, sobbing.

"I... I’m sorry," the man whispered, voice shaking. "I don’t—I don’t want to hurt anyone—"

Mark stared at you, horrified. "What did you do?"

You blinked. "Fix."

Cecil looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"She rewired his fucking brain," he hissed.

Mark turned to you. "You—you can’t just do that!"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE IT’S NOT—" He stopped. Struggled. "Because it’s not right!"

You just tilted your head, like a child being scolded.

He groaned.

Mark didn’t realize when it happened.

Maybe it was the way you always curled up against him, completely at ease.

Maybe it was the way you protected him without hesitation, despite seeing him as weak.

Maybe it was the way you said his name—not like you were calling him, but like you were claiming him.

Or maybe it was the way you looked at him.

Like he was the only thing in the universe that mattered.

And when he finally kissed you—really kissed you—you made the softest noise, melting into him, fingers tangling in his hair.

"You are... mine?" you whispered against his lips.

He exhaled, pressing his forehead to yours.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I’m yours."

— MASTERLIST ☆

— NEXT ☆ Part 2. Part 3.

— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆

[send-noodles-not-nudes]

i genuinely dont know how to feel about this one. some of it makes sense to me and i see where yallre coming from, but some of it really pisses me off.

major disclaimer to all of this: you are entitled to your opinions. im not saying theyre wrong, and im not saying mine is right. i am just voicing my own. im not trying to make anyone angry, i am simply Having Thoughts™️ that i figured i'd share.

we'll start with the things i like: there are a decent amount of people who overuse epithets to the point where you see the descriptors more than you see the name, and i do find that to be annoying sometimes.

the use of epithets to intentionally show that a character no longer thinks of this person as their lover/friend etc is a really cool idea, like switching from their name when the relationship is good to an epithet is a great way to show how that character is feeling, even if it's subtle.

a lot of people use epithets that dont add anything, like "the blonde" or "the taller man". guilty as charged. even i need to be better on that one (but everyone gets better with practice!)

i absolutely agree that using an epithet in an intimiate moment can be frustrating, assuming the narrator isnt intentionally trying to distance themselves (which is when the use of an epithet could come in very handy as a way to signal that to the readers, as mentioned earlier). a lot of the comments brought up smut being hard to read when people use epithets, and i dont personally read smut, but i totally get where the frustration comes from. i think epithets are the most disasterous in x reader fics because youre attaching a descriptor to a character that cant really be defined; it's different for everyone who reads it, since it's tailored to the reader, so using "the blonde" isnt just peeving, but potentially literally wrong. they are something that you have to be careful with.

i did see several comments talking about how epithets are used to avoid the "gay fanfiction problem" (which is hilarious to me bc it doesnt have to be gay to be a problem; it can be platonic and still be pronoun soup) and how epithets become a sort of cop-out for writing scenes with a lot of people that use the same pronoun, and i agree that thats not an excuse to use bad epithets. you can do better than "the blonde". that being said, especially when writing scenes with multiple people that share pronouns, theres a balance with epithets, names, and pronouns. theres only so many times im comfortable reading the same name in a single paragraph, but theres only so many times i can read the same epithet and not want to punch the page/screen. that goes for other peoples' writing as well as my own.

like with anything you read, epithets have to be good to make your reader enjoy them. with a few exceptions, like if a character isnt well-known, referring to someone as "the blonde" is annoying. like if im talking about steve rogers, im probably not gonna call him "the blonde". im more likely to call him "the patriot" or "the soldier/captain" or someting a little more personal. "the blonde" isnt dehumanizing, but it's one of those things where you have a choice of how to decribe them, so youre gonna wanna go with something thats more personal. i think epithets should reflect how well the audience is supposed to know the character theyre referring to (and how theyre supposed to feel about them). every once in a blue moon, "the blonde" can be nice if their hair color hasnt been described, but it could also be confusing for the same reason. use physical epithets with caution.

now, onto the things i dont like:

im sorry, but saying that epithets—descriptors—are "inherently dehumanizing" is just bullshit, and i do not have the patience to express that opinion in kinder words. it is not "inherently dehumanizing" to describe someone. as mentioned earlier, it can be used to dehumanize someone, but adjectives are not inherently a slur. ie, if im pointing someone out to a friend, i might say "the short lady with the brown hair in the pink shirt, thats my mom" or i might call her "the teacher" to distinguish between any number of people she could be with, because thats what a descriptor does. you do not need to be clutching your pearls just because a character gets described as "the blonde". you can clutch your pearls when theyre called "the one with the perky tits". there is a difference. epithets, like everything, have a time and place. theyre neither all good nor all bad. such a wide variety of things cant be lumped into a single box and called bad. you can disagree with me on this one, but im definitely not changing my opinion on it.

NOT ALL NARRATORS ARE A CHARACTER. they can be; they can be centered around a specific character's pov even if theyre written in third person, but the narrator doesnt have to be a character; if they describe someone as "the baker", that doesnt have to mean that the main character only sees that person as a baker. i dont have the perfect words to explain whats going on with my brain on this one, but it just peeves me to make the assumption that the narrator has to reflect a character's thoughts/feelings about someone. i think this might be where the "all epithets are inherently dehumanizing" thing comes from, because i can see how it may be misconstrued as an offense to call someone "the baker" instead of their name if you think that that means the main character the narration is centered around is calling that person "the baker".

as mentioned earlier, this is all a matter of opinion. if you dont like epithets, then reading something thats full of them is bound to drive you nuts. thats ok. nothing wrong with it; it's just personal preference. that being said, there are a lot of people (myself included) who love epithets in moderation because i absolutely do not want to read a characters name eight times in three sentences. that will drive me up the wall. "just use the character's name. it's so much better for your reader" does not apply to everyone. balance is important. alternating between names and epithets is perfect because then i dont forget the character's name bc theyre not solely referred to as "the blonde", but i also dont have to get annoyed with reading their name a thousand times. it doesnt fade into the background for everyone, just like the use of epithets doesnt fade into the background for everyone. for this reason, i think it's important to use a mix of both; everyone either goes home happy, or at least only mildly annoyed if you use a 50/50 balance.

especially for a fanfic, the use of epithets doesnt have to be confusing. if im writing a supernatural fanfic, everyone is going to know what i mean if i say "the taller brother" bc sam is fucking 6'4 and a beast of a man. would it be a little cringey to use that as an epithet? yeah, but it also has a time and place, like if the writing is centered around someone who doesnt know their names yet (as mentioned in the op and "things i like" section earlier)

one thing i saw in the comments that i think is really important to bring up: do not bash on fanfic writers. by and large, we're not professionals. we do it for fun. we dont get paid. it's a passion project, and no one should shit on that passion project just because the writing isnt up to the reader's standard. im not saying that you need to have low standards for fanfic—there are some phenomenal fanfic writers out there—but it's not right to bash on the community and basically call them lesser just because they dont have the same habits as people that have professional writing teams backing them up. dont shit on someone's work unless it's actually problematic. if theyre doing something thats genuinely wrong, then absolutely get the hammer and start bashing away, but dont thumb your nose at people just because theyre not writing at as high of a level as you want. do not be a hater just for funsies. if youre gonna hate, do it with purpose, but hating on something purely because you dont like it is a surefire way to ruin someone else's day, and thats not cool.

tl;dr:

-everyone's opinion is different for what they do or dont want to see in writing, and there is no way to put all writing into one "enjoyable" box because everyone enjoys different things

-dont bash on fanfic over the reading not being "up to your standard" because thats incredibly discouraging to someone who shared something they made and published as an act of love. return love with love. be kind.

-one comment in particular called it perfectly: "Everyone please please please stop treating writing like a math problem, there is no equation to determine the perfect name/pronoun/epithet ratio. You just gotta tweak and adjust and shift things around until they make sense and sound right to your reader. This is why asking people to read your drafts is so so so important. It's not all-epithets or no-epithets, it's be-smart-with-your-epithets."

-make your epithets mean something! they're descriptors; describe in a way that matters, not just in a way that adds to your w/c.

-epithets are not dehumanizing unless you want them to be.

that is all.

In writing, epithets ("the taller man"/"the blonde"/etc) are inherently dehumanizing, in that they remove a character's name and identity, and instead focus on this other quality.

Which can be an extremely effective device within narration!

They can work very well for characters whose names the narrator doesn't know yet (especially to differentiate between two or more). How specific the epithet is can signal to the reader how important the character is going to be later on, and whether they should dedicate bandwidth to remembering them for later ("the bearded man" is much less likely to show up again than "the man with the angel tattoo")

They can indicate when characters stop being as an individual and instead embody their Role, like a detective choosing to think of their lover simply as The Thief when arresting them, or a royal character being referred to as The Queen when she's acting on behalf of the state

They can reveal the narrator's biases by repeatedly drawing attention to a particular quality that singles them out in the narrator's mind

But these only work if the epithet used is how the narrator primarily identifies that character. Which is why it's so jarring to see a lot of common epithets in intimate moments-- because it conveys that the main character is primarily thinking of their lover/best friend/etc in terms of their height or age or hair color.

[plethorawrites]

i think jason is perfect for the girl who thinks that's unlovable x guy who loves her like it's as easy as breathing

maybe I'm just projecting because that has never happened to me but i do think that jason is a loverboy, especially if his significant other has never been treated right

(I think he'd be self reflecting too, honestly. Trying to treat someone the way no one ever treated him either.) (P.S. I tried a different style with this, idk if it worked or not, but try to stick with it to lmk please!)

---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---_

You were hard to love. You knew that. Every partner you ever had said so. And it made sense why.

You talked a lot. Droned on and on about interests that no else really seemed to care about. Couldn't even tell when they were getting bored because you were too focused on the way your hands moved to talk and tell stories.

You could never shut your brain off. You were always fidgeting in bed, trying to find something for your hands to do besides trace the sheets or pick at the threads on the blankets. You were always the last to fall asleep no matter when or where because some thought kept you up and you usually annoyed whoever was closest with it until they got so bored they fell asleep.

You were a terrible singer. Yet, you did it all the time. You couldn't carry a tune, couldn't hit any pitch, had no talent whatsoever and if an actual singer were to hear you when you were in the shower or the kitchen, they would surely ban you from ever listening to music again. You sang it under your breath, fighting it so you wouldn't annoy people, but always lost your own challenge and they ended up laughing.

You were clingy. You knew it was pathetic, always craving someone's attention to make you feel wanted. It was unattractive to need the kind of reassurance you wanted—to feel the warmest and most content when holding onto someone or sleeping in their arms. It was needy and sad. You were jealous. It was a bad habit, you knew. What everyone did with their own life didn't affect you in any serious way, but it was just so hard to share. Only child syndrome, maybe. Regardless, it was hard not to feel envious when someone else got attention from the person you loved most. You tried not to let it show. It did.

You were loud. You couldn't help it. You got overzealous about small things, like seeing a puppy in public or a cute baby in a onesie. You always made that high pitched screech that had people wincing in pain and telling you to lower your voice. No one wanted to see or hear about your happiness, they especially didn't like when you accidentally grabbed them without realizing you were doing it. It was annoying.

You were an awkward, bumbling, idiot. Your words got mixed up, you pulled doors that said push, you tripped. And you blushed and you covered your face with shame when it happened, but it never stopped people from giving you judgemental sideways glances in public.

...

But never to Jason.

...

You talked a lot. Spoke about interests that he sometimes knew and other times didn't. Never noticed him staring at you so intently, watching your eyes light up as you talk with your hands out of pure excitement that made him utterly enthralled.

You could never shut your brain off. You were always moving closer and closer to him in bed. You were restless, so your hands would fuss with his hair or trace the scars on his back. You always found something to mumble about— a recent book, a new recipe, something from a show, or drama from work. Your voice was so soft, so soothing as you dragged your hands up and down his back, he had no choice but to fall asleep to the comforting sound of it.

You were a terrible singer. But the sound still brought him joy. Because it was your own joy causing the horrendous screeching you couldn't seem to help. He'd laugh, yes, at the adorable attempt. He was always trying his best to disguise the grin by hiding behind his book as he read in the living room and you sang in the kitchen. He couldn't resist peeking up from his book every once in a while just to watch before ducking back down and pretending to have not noticed how happy singing off key seemed to make you.

You were clingy. It was adorable, especially with the height difference, how you'd hug him from behind when he was cooking or drape your arms around him the second he came home. He always feared touch, but yours seemed addictive. The only thing he feared worse was losing you, but thankfully, you held him tightly at night and never minded when he reciprocated. He found it peaceful, settling his thoughts when he felt his skin on yours—so soft compared to his own, which were covered in bruises and scars.

You were jealous. Some people might find the constant hovering when someone else even remotely attractive was nearby, but not him. He found it endearing how you'd hang off him, lean on him, wrap him arm around your waist or do any number of other things to make it perfectly clear he was yours. It made him feel wanted, reassured him that you weren't willing to share anymore than he wanted to watch you get attention from other people.

You were loud. You jumped when you got excited, your eyes lighting up and your nose crinkling. Your squeals of joy fell from your lips by accident and even when they were a little loud or piercing, the sound still conveyed your happiness. Your teeth would sink into your bottom lip to try to suppress your own content but it never worked and he wouldn't want it to. The little hops, the way your face would soften at the sight of something cute or grab and shake him when you saw something you thought he'd like.

You were an awkward, bumbling, idiot. You made little mistakes here and there, like everyone did. It was your reaction that had people staring. The way you'd laugh at yourself, your smile bearing widely and a faint blush spreading across your cheeks. Anyone with functioning eyes would look at you when you laughed. Hell, even a blind man with the displeasure of never getting to see your smile would still turn, just to hear your laughter a little bit better.

Maybe you talked a lot, were clingy, and jealous. But more than anything— you were his.

[vbecker10]

I Kissed Her

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N) established relationship

Summary: Bucky went on a short mission and when he comes home he's distant and anxious which makes you nervous that something horrible happened in the field. You reassure him that he can talk to you and he opens up about how he needed to pretend he was married to his ex girlfriend, Natasha, for their mission and he kissed her.

Warnings: angst... Bucky feeling guilty and feeling like he cheated (but he didn't, it was purely for their cover story), Bucky being afraid you won't want to be with him anymore, Natasha being a horrible and petty person (sorry, that just sort of happened but I usually really like her)... fluffy ending 😊

A/N: I'm sorry for this one but I'm pretty stressed out from life so you're getting Bucky angst 💚 This is a spin on the fake marriage scenario while on a mission so I hope everyone likes it!

Your phone goes off and you read the automated notification from SHIELD for all nonessential personnel to clear the landing area for the incoming jet. Jumping up from the couch, you grab your phone and slip on your shoes. The only jet that was out was the one Bucky, Steve and Natasha had taken for their mission. You pull your door shut and call Bucky, groaning impatiently as you listen to it ring over and over.

Bucky's been gone for three days and two long nights. Unfortunately, you hadn't been assigned as an analyst for that mission so you weren't told where he was going or when he'd return. All you know is that you miss your boyfriend and you can't wait to see him again.

Bucky finally answers as you are deciding if you should hang up and text him. "Hi," he says with little enthusiasm which causes your smile to falter slightly but you try not to let it affect your mood. You know he's probably tired, he never sleeps well when he's away and neither do you.

"Hey Bucky," you say cheerfully, hoping your excitement will be contagious, "I heard the jet landed so I was hoping that meant you were home."

"Yeah, we just got in," he answers and you can hear people talking in the background. "Sorry I didn't text you." You get into the elevator and push the button for his floor.

You're anxiety rises as you begin to worry if he didn't want you to know he was back home yet for some reason. Typically, Bucky would text or call you as soon as possible to let you know he was on his way back and he couldn't wait to see you.

"Can I come by to say hi?" you ask unsure of his mood or what's affecting it. "I'm sure you're tired but I really missed you."

"Sure," he agrees to letting you visit.

You wait for him to tell you he missed you over the last few days but when he doesn't you ask, "Bucky are you okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbles. "Sorry, just a lot on my mind from the mission."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute," you tell him.

"Okay," he responds then ends the call before saying goodbye.

You look down at your phone as your heart beats faster in your chest. Something really horrible must have happened while they were on the mission, you can't help but think. Bucky didn't sound like himself and it worried you immensely.

You knock on his door and it opens immediately, he takes a step back to let you in. As soon as you are inside, you put your arms around Bucky without saying a word and the super soldier hugs you back tightly, almost as if he will never let go. The two of you stay like that silently for a few moments, you close your eyes and try to relax as you listen to his breathing. He leans down to kiss your forehead lightly but before you can return the kiss, he releases you from the hug and takes a step away.

"Bucky..." you start and his eyes drop to the floor, there's no hiding how anxious he looks. His metal hand flexes slowly and you ask him, "What's wrong? Did something happen on the mission?"

He nods a little at your second question and your mind races as you close the distance he created between you both, "Did Steve get hurt?"

"Steve and Natasha are fine," Bucky answers and you breath a little easier. You know important Steve is to him as a friend but you honestly you hadn't even thought something might have happened to Natasha too. Even with all the awkward tension between you and the spy, you were glad she was okay also. If no one was hurt, what else could have happened, you wonder to yourself.

"I need to shower then we can talk, okay?" he asks and you nod then he adds, "I don't want you to hear about any of this from her."

"I'll be here when you're ready," you offer him a small smile to reassure him you aren't going anywhere. You stand by his front door as he turns and walks into his room, closing the door. Letting out a nervous sigh, you take a seat on his couch and hold one of the pillows tightly to your chest as you look around his living room. Your focus settles on a picture of the two of you sitting on his end table from when you first started dating six months ago. A smile starts to spread across your lips when you remember how much fun you had at Bryant Park with him that day but then his words echo in your mind.

'I don't want you to hear about any of this from her,' he told you. He obviously meant Natasha but what was he talking about?

Natasha all but refuses to speak to you unless it is specifically about official SHIELD business and you are more than fine with that. His ex girlfriend has made no attempt to hide how much she dislikes you or your relationship with Bucky. The spy still blames you for Bucky leaving her even though you had barely known him when he ended their year long relationship. You and Bucky didn't begin dating until a few months later but you were never quite able to escape the numerous rumors that spread through the Tower. Bucky ignored all the gossip easily enough but you found it harder to shake the accusing whispers that you started your relationship with Bucky before he ended things with Natasha.

You lift your head when you hear his door open and watch quietly as Bucky sits next to you on the couch. His hair is still wet and he tucks it behind his ear when he looks at you. Bucky's eyes met yours and he says, "I know I need to tell you what happened but I'm afraid you'll hate me."

Your heart beats faster and you ask, "Why would I hate you?" He looks down and you move closer to him, taking his right hand in yours.

He shakes his head instead of answering you and squeezes your hand, "You know how much I love you, right Y/N?"

"I love you too," you tell him then take a deep breath and force yourself to ask, "But are you breaking up with me? Cause this feels-"

"What? No!" he says quickly as he cuts you off. "I'm just scared you're going to leave me when I tell you what happened with Natasha."

"I don't understand..." you start then bite your lip as your mind begins to put together the very few pieces you have. Bucky was away on a mission with his ex girlfriend and now he's distant and nervous and afraid you're going to hate him, you think as you grip the pillow next to you tightly. Natasha flirted with him every chance she could, you had seen it yourself dozens of times because she seemed to really enjoy doing it right in front of you. Had he finally given in while he was away on the mission?

"Bucky," you clear your throat and try to prepare yourself to ask something you never thought you'd have to ask him. "Did you cheat on me with Natasha?"

He sighs deeply and you fight to hold back the tears you can feel wanting to fall. "I don't know," he says and you look at him in confused silence. "No, I mean... I don't think so but-"

"You don't know!?" you ask harshly, unable to contain the mixture of emotions that flood through you. In an instant you feel hurt, betrayed, confused, angry and so many other things you can barely think straight. You pull your hand free from his and stand up, "How could you not know? You either did or you didn't."

"It's complicated," he says as he looks up at you from the couch. "Please, just let me explain," he reaches up and takes your hand.

You let his metal fingers grip your hand gently as he pulls you back down on the couch. "Fine," you mumble and quickly wipe away a single stray tear that runs down your cheek.

"I didn't tell you I was back yet because I needed to think-" he starts to explain.

"Of an excuse for cheating on me?" you interrupt him and let go of his metal hand.

"No," he shakes his head. "Just..." he sighs deeply, "Just listen please? I want to tell you everything."

You nod and sit facing him with your arms crossed over your chest. You can't imagine what he could possibly tell you that would make the feelings swirling inside of you go away but you're willing to hear him out.

He starts at the beginning, "We went to Germany, SHIELD found a high stakes poker game that a lot of high ranking Hydra officers attend on Friday nights. Natasha, Steve and I went undercover using those nanotech masks from Stark."

You look at him quietly, waiting for him to get to the point.

"Agent Hill worked up a cover story to get us in the game," he explains. "I was a wealthy arms dealer from Romania, Steve was my bodyguard and Natasha was my wife. We were just supposed to gather information, see who was there so SHIELD could decide who to go after next."

"Okay..." you say as he rubs his hands together nervously and describes every detail of the mission.

------------------------------------------------

Steve knocks four times rhythmically on the metal door and waits for the small window to slide open. "Hail Hydra," he whispers to the dark figure who slams the window shut then opens the door. Bucky let's out a small sigh of relief knowing the previously gathered intelligence was correct.

Natasha smiles up at Bucky, holding onto his arm as they walk through the door followed closely by Steve. Steve looks around the room, his dark sunglasses capturing images of everyone he sees and sending the information back to analysts at SHIELD. The three of them are greeted by a well known Hydra officer, Captain Marc Burwell, and are escorted to a poker table in the middle of another, much less crowded room.

"Your wife can wait in the other room," Burwell says to Bucky as he unbuttons his black suit jacket and takes a seat at the table.

"She stays with me," Bucky responds with a smirk. "She's my good luck charm."

Burwell's attention shifts to the plunging neckline of Natasha's dress when she leans down to place a soft kiss on her fake husband's cheek. "If I had a wife that looked like yours, I'd never let her out of my sight either," the man chuckles as his eyes roam over the spy's body. Her long, shimmery black dress reveals a high slit when she moves to sit on Bucky's lap sideways, her arm resting around his neck.

Bucky looks up at the man, his jaw tightening, "Keep looking at my wife like that and I'll remove your eyes myself."

Natasha giggles and plays with her necklace, adjusting the pendant as it connects to the numerous cell phones in the room. Steve takes a step forward, standing just behind Bucky as he folds his arms and stares at the now very nervous captain. He clears his throat and apologizes before excusing himself quickly.

The dealer takes his position at the head of the table and the rest of the players sit around Bucky. He checks his watch to ensure it's transmitting the conversations of those close to him as the first hand is dealt.

"Good luck baby," Natasha says as he picks up his cards and he smiles in return. She kisses his cheek again, this time leaving a light lipstick mark and she wipes it away, "Oops."

He clears his throat and whispers, "They already bought that we're married, you can ease up with the kisses." He moves his free hand so it barely rests on her lower back while Steve stands behind him in silence.

"Come on baby," Natasha whispers in response. "Hold me like you want me, like you used to."

Bucky chuckles as if she said something flirtatious and runs his fingers up and down her back slowly. He looks at her as if to ask if that was better and in response, she presses her lips to his then rests her head on his shoulder.

He tries to ignore the kiss, focusing instead on the cards in his hand and the bets being placed. SHIELD wasn't too concerned about Bucky winning or losing so long as the information was gathered but he needed to at least keep up with the other players. While he waits for the players to place their bets, his mind wanders to his previous relationship with Natasha.

It had started purely because they were paired together so often on missions. Pretending to date or be married to each other over and over had convinced them that a real relationship would work. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case and it took Bucky a long time to voice how unhappy he was to Natasha. She was dismissive and ignored his concerns which finally caused him to leave her. It was the best decision he could have made, because he found someone a few months later who truly made him happy, you.

Serval uneventful hands later, Bucky orders a drink from the waitress as his fingers trace small circles on the exposed skin of Natasha's arm. The quiet woman places his drink on the table in front of him but he makes no move to pick it up as he examines his cards. Natasha smirks and lifts the glass to Bucky's lips, "Here baby."

"Thanks sweetheart," Bucky says with a smile as he cringes internally after he takes a drink. He had always hated when she called him 'baby' while they were dating. He wasn't sure why he didn't like it but he had asked her not to do it several times and she never listened.

Without warning, Natasha presses her lips to his and for a moment he forgets they are pretending to be married. Bucky pulls back slightly to separate from her but she only smiles in response, running her fingers through his hair while her other fingers trace the rim of his glass.

"Need another drink?" she asks and he nods, not wanting to draw the attention of the others at the table. Natasha lifts the drink to his lips again then just as she pulls it away, she kisses him again.

Bucky closes his eyes and kisses her back, unsure of what else to do in the moment. His mind fills with images of you but he can't trick himself into thinking you're here instead of Natasha. When she finally breaks the long, deep kiss she giggles and places the empty glass back on the table.

He's unable to focus and folds his cards then plays two more hands, losing both. At the end of each hand, Natasha kisses him and he's forced to kiss her back to keep their cover in tact. After the two loses, Bucky wins a large pot and he reaches across the table to gather all of his chips with a smirk. When he sits back in his seat, his fake wife presses her lips to his in celebration.

As the dealer is shuffling, Steve receives word through his ear piece that SHIELD has enough information. He taps Bucky's shoulder and leans down to whisper that they can leave, sending a wave of relief through him.

------------------------------------------------

"I couldn't wait to get back on the jet and see you again," he says, finally looking up at you.

"But you didn't call or text me," you remind him.

"I know..." he pauses. "Like I said, I was trying to think."

"About what?" you ask.

"About if what I did was wrong or not," he says and you realize he was being serious when he said he didn't know if he cheated. "Natasha sat with me in the back of the jet while Steve flew us home," he explains. "She asked me if I wanted to continue where we left off then tried to sit on my lap again. When I told her no, she got really upset. She told me she couldn't wait to tell you how much fun the mission was and by the time she was done you would never forgive me."

"But... you didn't do anything," you tell him.

"I kissed her," he says with a sigh.

"Right, but you only did it because you had to," you remind him gently.

He nods quickly and you move closer to him on the couch, taking his hand and he squeezes it. "I know it was just for our cover story but she got in my head while we were coming home. Natasha kept telling me I kissed her like I used to when we were dating and that she could feel how much I still cared for her," he says.

"You still-" you start to ask and almost pull your hand free from his but he keeps his fingers intertwined with yours.

"No," he cuts you off before you can finish your sentence. "No, Y/N, I don't have any feelings for her. I haven't since before you and I started dating, you know that," he assures you and you nod. "It was just something she was going to tell you to drive a wedge between us." He sighs and mumbles under his breath, "I think Steve's right, I'm an idiot."

You can't help but agree, "You are an idiot."

He looks up at you but doesn't say anything.

"Bucky," you cup his cheek, still holding his hand tightly. He breaths deeply, preparing himself for the worst when you smile and his eyes fill with confusion. "You got me all stressed out and nervous because your ex girlfriend is crazy," you say at you breath a little easier. "I already knew that."

"I... what?" he asks.

You let out a little laugh at his reaction, "Did you want to kiss her?"

"No," he answers quickly.

"Did you enjoy kissing her?" you ask.

"No," he answers again and shakes his head.

"Do you wish you were with her instead of me?" you already know the answer to that one but you want to prove a point.

"Absolutely not," Bucky lifts your hand and kisses the back of it.

"So that means..." you start and give him a second to catch up.

He smiles a little, "It wasn't cheating?"

"I don't think it counts," you tell him honestly. "It's like if you were an actor and had to kiss someone for a role. You were just doing your job, right?"

You watch him breath a heavy sigh of relief, "That's what Steve said when we landed. He was listening to pretty much everything she said and he told me I really needed to talk to you before she did."

"I think you need to listen to Steve more often," you tell him and he nods.

"I'm sorry," he says and you move closer to cuddle against him. He wraps his arms around you and you feel him relax for the first time since he left.

"It's okay, I still love you," you look up at him with a smile.

He smiles in return, "I hope so because I love you more than anything." He leans down to kiss your lips, cupping your cheek lightly. You close your eyes and kiss him back, running your fingers through his damp hair.

When you pull away, you tell him, "That doesn't mean I'm thrilled about this whole thing. I mean, I understand why you had to do it... I just really wish it had been anyone else. Natasha doesn't seem like she's going to give up on trying to ruin our relationship any time soon."

"She probably won't but honestly I don't think it's because she wants me back," he says. "I think she just hates that we're happy."

You rest your head on his shoulder, "Just keep being honest with me like this and we'll be okay. Maybe... phrase things a little better?"

He chuckles and nods, "I'll have Steve prep what I should say for next time."

You giggle, "Next time you should just pretend you and Steve are married and she's your bodyguard."

He smiles and plays with your hair, "I'll ask Agent Hill about that."

"Wait, really?" you ask sitting up a little.

He laughs, "No. I'm not kissing Steve."

"Lame," you smile and kiss him again.

"I'm sorry," he says with a smile, keeping his arms around you tightly. "Can you stay the night? I can never sleep without you."

"I think I can do that," you agree easily.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did ❤️❤️ Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[mywritersmind]

LIKE A DREAM - KA12

summary : A day full of fun and avoidance ends with kimi walking you home. Full of teasing and wanting to cross the one line your dad and his boss has set for you two.

listen up : swearing! use of y/n! kissing!

kimiantonelli x totowolff!daughter

words : 2022

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Holy fuck!” She laughs out loud, out of breath and running her hands through her hair as we walk down the sidewalk, “I actually thought he was going to kill you!”

I shake my head, “That was not funny, Wolff! I thought he was going to kill me too!” I hold back a laugh, genuinely thanking god that some little shop owner was too slow to chase me down with a broom.

She bites her bottom lip, slowing her step so she’s next to me, “Death by broom, would have been sad.”

I’m walking her home after a day of fucking about and skipping training. When I told her I had to train but other than that, I had a chill day, she said, and I quote, “Chill and Training should not be in the same sentence.”

So she dragged me around my own city, showing me places I would have never guessed could be so fun. Everything is fun with her.

I sigh, “What would you tell everyone? That you left me to die because while screaming your head off!?”

She giggles, “No! I would have told everyone that I tried to fight the man but I'm just a girl.” I roll my eyes at my ultra feminist friend.

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they believed her. She’s a scary good actress.

“Like you would have been any different!” She pushes my side a bit, “Screaming like a girl while you ran…”

I scoff and start walking backwards so her eyes are on me, “I would have fought for you like a man!”

“Like a man with a girly scream.” She mumbles, pushing past me as my jaw drops. I can hear her laugh as she walks farther ahead, I run to catch up.

“You’re evil.”

She gasps dramatically before her face morphs into a smile, shrugging and calm now, she says, “Yeah I know. Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

The truth is, I do like it. I like how she fucks with me, except when she somehow drags me into her shit which is dealt with by her father, who happens to be my boss.

“Your dad home?” I ask, nearing her house now.

“Why, you scared?”

Fuck yes. “No. Maybe I want to inform him that his underage daughter flirts with just about every man we come across.”

“Don’t act so high and mighty! You’re only a couple months older than me.” She sticks her chin up, “And you liked the free drinks enough.” She eyes my hand, which is wrapped around an open champagne bottle.

No matter how much I like the drinks, I will never like some guy sending them to her. Especially when the guys are definitely over 25.

“I like the drinks, not the guys.” She eyes me when I say this, grabbing the bottle and bringing it to her lips.

“Protective, much?”

I shrug, grabbing the bottle from her, “Maybe a bit.” I take a swig, never moving my eyes away from her. She’s fucking stunning. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

She laughs, “What?”

“You heard me.”

“I don’t know.” She definitely does, “I dump all of them before it can get too far.”

“And you’ve never- ever, been broken up with?”

She shakes her head, “You know the guys i’ve dated, they all suck but i’m pretty sure all hated me.”

“So why’d they stay with you? I mean, it’s definitely not because you give everything to them. You barely talked to half!”

She’s grinning, something familiar and mischievous in her eye. She takes the bottle from me, spinning around, “Yeah but I kiss like a dream.”

Her answer is not what I expected and suddenly I'm thankful for the darkness so she can’t see my reddened cheeks. “Right.”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend, Antonelli?” She takes another drink, turning a street corner.

“Maybe I don’t want one.”

She shakes her head, “No… that’s not it.” God i’m so fucked. “Tell me the real reason.”

“I’m serious.” I’m not. “Racing is a lot, I need to focus.”

“Cause a girlfriend would be too demanding.” She stands in front of me, walking slowly backwards. Her eyes are dark and completely focused on me.

“Cause a girlfriend would be too distracting.” Like right now, I'm pretty sure we missed a turn but neither of us noticed.

But she’s not my girlfriend. Just a girl who took me away from all my responsibilities for a whole day, a whole day of me staring at her and being totally and utterly distracted.

Her eyes narrow, probably seeing right through me like she always does. She gives the subject up, turning back onto the right street and ending up next to me again, this time in silence.

I don’t know if she notices, but every step she takes, her arm brushes mine.

The second I see her house, my heart drops. I don’t want to leave her, especially if I don’t know when I'm going to see her again.

“Are you coming to Australia?” Sometimes she travels with her dad, maybe I'll get lucky.

“Nope.” Of course, this is good for me, I just said how distracting she is! But fuck I want her there. “My dad won’t let me go to any races until I finish school.”

Toto Wolff I curse you.

“Ah shit…” I say, “Shame.” I watch her push open the gate, looking back at me like an angel.

“Yeah? You want me there?” Her tone is teasing, but I know she’s hoping I say yes.

“Did pretty well in the last race you came to.” She watched my F2 race a while back, I won. “Maybe you’re lucky.”

“Kimi Antonelli’s good luck charm… Got a nice ring to it.” She walks up the steps, I follow as slowly as possible. “You’d probably be able to convince my dad, he loves you.”

I smile, “If I told him I thought you were my ‘Good Luck Charm’ he’d probably kick me off the team.” Toto has always explicitly said to stay away from his precious daughter. I hate following rules.

She giggles, now on the front porch leaning against the railing and making me sigh in relief that she doesn’t want to go yet.

I stand across from her, my hands in my pockets as my eyes roam across her face that’s half shaded from the porch light. “I expect you to stir some shit up this year.”

“You’re praying on my downfall.” I step closer.

She looks up at me, “Never, Drea…”

I groan at the nickname, “Do not call me that.”

“What would you like me to call you?” She raises a brow, teasing me.

“My name?”

“I prefer wonder boy.” She says it with such a straight face that I can’t help but laugh. She smiles, pleased that she made me crack.

“I had a really good time today.” I say softly, not missing her lip catch on her tooth.

“Not too annoyed with my flirting?”

I shake my head, “I never said that… Maybe just tone it down a bit.”

“Like how?”

“Flirt with someone else.” It just comes out, I regret it immediately.

Her face softens, “Like who?”

I shrug, “Like me.”

The corner of her mouth quirks up, “I do flirt with you.”

This is a bad idea, I can feel it.

But I don’t stop.

“Not like you do with them…”

“Because I flirt with everyone else as a joke. It’s performative, love.” That nickname, however, I could get used to.

“Why?” I ask, “Why do you feel the need to?”

“Maybe because someone is too much of a pussy to flirt back.” Fuck my actual life.

“Or I just don’t want to lose my job.”

She rolls her eyes, genuinely annoyed, “Don’t pull that shit. Carry on lying to yourself with the ‘distracting’ thing.”

“You are fucking distracting, Wolff. Like out of this world distracting.” I wish she knew that the stares she gets, the drinks she receives, isn’t because she’s Toto Wolff's daughter.

She looks away, her nose in the air, “Not my fault you’re so attracted to me you can’t focus on simple tasks.”

This girl is going to kill me. And she loves it.

I let out a breathy laugh, resting my hands on either side of her, “You drive me insane.”

“Oh so you can do your job when you’re around me!” She jokes so easily with her ‘drive’ bit.

I shake my head, “I can’t stand you.”

Her eyes meet mine again, our faces centimeters apart, “Try again.” Her voice is soft, strong.

“I can’t stand not having you.” It’s practically a whisper.

She doesn’t blink, just leans back into the railing with her head held high, “Then have me.”

She’s waiting for me, I realize. She flirts with me, she touches me, she teases me, she does just about everything first, before me. Now, she’s making me start it.

She’s supposed to be a bad idea. But right now, I’m pretty sure she is the best idea ever.

I lean down slowly, her breath soft against me. When she doesn’t pull back and I fully understand that i’m not dreaming, I kiss her.

It’s soft at first, testing almost. But then her hand finds the back of my neck and all I can feel is her.

I grip her waist like there’s nothing else in the world, finding her belt loop to pull her in closer as her tongue slips into my mouth.

Both of our breaths quicken, her skin hot as I slip my hand under the hem of her shirt, “Drea…” She whispers, never breaking the kiss.

“Try again.” I mumble.

“Kimi.” I groan at the way she says my name. I never want her to stop.

I nod into the kiss, pushing her into the railing harder as her fingers tighten in my hair. Her lips feel so familiar, I don’t know how I ever lived without them.

“You kiss like a dream.” I say against her which makes her laugh, tilting her head back slightly as I take a breath.

My lips off hers doesn’t last long, only getting rougher when we start again. She tastes like strawberry lipgloss and chocolate gelato, I want it tattooed on me.

The second her hand makes its way down my chest and around my side, moments away from her touch on my bare skin, goosebumps ready to go, something interrupts us.

“What the fuck.” I don’t think I've ever moved so fast in my life. The familiar voice makes me physically jump, the same as Y/n.

I understand now that the ‘interruption’ was the front door opening and my team principal coming to see who was lurking on his porch.

I run my hand over my mouth, looking out at their front garden and wondering if I'm about to die.

Y/n is facing her dad, her eyes wide and lips slightly swollen. I can’t help but smile because I did that. I’m immediately sobered by his voice again. “Antonelli.”

Wow I like how she says it so much more.

I clear my throat and throw my hair up slightly, nor daring to turn around just yet. “Yep.”

“Y/n.” He says gruffly, his accent even thicker when angry, “Inside.”

I turn around now, watching her cringe and walk inside slowly. I see Susie in the hallway, clearly not understanding what’s going on, and smiling at me. “Kimi! Thanks for walking her home.”

Toto is staring me down as if I’d just- well… as if I'd just kissed his daughter. I’m about to respond to her but Toto shakes his head sharply, “Out.”

I give Y/n one more glance, not missing the slight smirk on her face. Fuck neither of us can be serious for two second. I hurry down the steps, only looking back when I hear the door shut and not stopping my quick feet until I get to my car.

I have one text. It’s from Y/n.

You kiss like a dream too.

[thlayli-rah]

Coming back again to say that this post keeps getting notes and a lot of the commentary is of the “piss on the poor” variety but there was one note in particular that made me think quite a lot about how we view things like growth and change

So, firstly, I grew up in a Catholic environment in the hate crime capital of my country. There was no queer environment for most of my life. Only within the past few years have folks in the community bonded together to form spaces out of a sense of defiance and self preservation, and it’s only been about 18 months that I, personally, have had access to those spaces. So, as a result, most of my socialization with queerness came as a teen blogging about m/m ships on tumblr— which is not really the best form of education. Part of growing up, for me, was realizing that the internet had really ingrained a sense of moral binaries, of black and white thinking, that was really unhealthy and unhelpful to me and to the people around me

I had to unlearn that! And part of the reason I made this post in the first place was because I’ve been actively working on unlearning it over the course of my adulthood, and I still discovered this blind spot, I still— yes, even in 2024 —needed to work on changing. It’s ongoing, active work I have to do in order to try and be a better, kinder person

Queer environments are not inherently toxic. People are inherently complicated. And if we shame people for the fumbling, nonlinear, messy process of coming to change the things they believed to be true, then people won’t have any desire to change at all

It feels crazy for me to have spent all this time and written all these words out just in an attempt to communicate the concept, “treat others how you’d like to be treated, with basic respect and decency” but here we are

Hot take but I really do think that some of y’all need to consider how/why/when/how often you’re making fun of straight people for being straight

I do it too, I’m not going to pretend I don’t make jokes about the hets, or the down with cis bus, or whatever

But I recently befriended a cis, straight dude and I have watched him be dismissed, degraded, and unambiguously insulted for the perceived “crime” of being straight — all in queer environments where he is allegedly “completely welcome” and surrounded by “friends”

This guy is not a toxic person! But I have seen him be made to feel so small and like his comfort and safety in those spaces are conditional on his silence and acceptance of being treated like a human dunk zone, and I think that some of y’all have had so much shit from straight/cis people that the second you feel like you’ve got an inch, you want to luxuriate in the perceived catharsis of bullying someone who— actually —doesn’t deserve it

And until he very, very carefully mentioned to me in private that it makes him feel bad, I didn’t even clock that I was involved in doing that, that it had become so instinctive for me to make casual jokes like that, and that— well meaning or otherwise —I had been contributing to an environment that made someone I really really like feel like shit

So, I dunno, I think maybe some of y’all should think about that too