#this is a joke i know it's a hallucination

[beesspacedotorg]

bbeebeeeeebebebeeee what abt the convo we’re having rn…. a lovely wonderful date with your sweetie hybrid boyfriends linocat and binnierabbit

Hey bro happy birthday. It's still your birthday where I live, so please accept this gift. Thank you for being my friend !! I hope this year around the sun treats you well. I also hope skz comes to (redacted for privacy) so we can meet up. @cbini

There's no smut in this because uhm. Because. But there are sex jokes because I'm me.

You love your boyfriends very much. When they started living with you, everyone called you insane. They asked why you would have a cat hybrid and a rabbit hybrid at the same time. Rabbits can be messy and cats cause problems on purpose they had said. Rabbits are just cats with longer ears and curled tails they had said. You’re signing yourself up for trouble they had said. You had waved your hand in dismissal, pointing at your boys and how much they loved each other and went about your business. Looking at them now, you’re starting to wish you hadn’t brushed off their concerns.

They took you to a restaurant, a nice fancy one, to celebrate. They’d told you to get a little dressed up, so you had, and they’d shown up with their slightly dressy attire and you drooled a little and Changbin had to wipe it off your chin. They’d taken pictures with you, nice aesthetic ones in the low light of the dining area, Minho’s glass of wine temporarily acting as a prop. Minho had made a salacious joke about licking wine off of your body and Changbin had kicked him in the shin. Minho then accused him of being jealous and offered to lick wine off of his body, too. It made the younger flush and shout indignantly.

All in all, the night had gone well. Your boys were handsome and polite to the waitstaff, they’d taken turns making you flush with love and something else, and they’d both made promises about what awaited you at home. The problem only started when they’d gotten their food.

You’ve seen them eat before, you know they have slightly weird eating habits brought on by them being alive or their hybrid genes or something, but it didn’t click in your mind that they would do it at restaurants, too. It had been seconds after Changbin had gotten his plate of pasta, the waiter barely away from the table, that he flipped it over onto the table cloth and started to eat it that way. You stared at him for a minute, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you tried to come up with something to say.

“Was there something wrong with the plate?” You asked, staring at the mess he was making of the table.

“Too small. The vibes were bad,” he said simply. You blinked a couple times at him before turning your attention to Minho when you heard a choking noise.

“Oh, Jesus, this is why you need to slow down when you eat.” You hand him a water and a napkin, praying he doesn’t upchuck all over the table.

“What if it runs away?” He says, staring at you. You watch his ears twitch on his head, listening to the sounds of the waitstaff milling about and the chatter of the other customers.

“Where the fuck is it gonna go?” You point at the food he’s practically inhaled, “It’s dead.”

“You never know,” is what he gives you. You sigh, looking up towards the ceiling before hanging your head in defeat. You start to eat your own food, and outside of their initial outbursts, things seem to be going fine. That is, until Binnie’s ears stand tall above his head and his nose twitches, leg thumping under the table,

“Stop that,” he says, glaring daggers at Minho.

“Stop what? I’m not doing anything.” Minho has a shit eating smirk on his face. He is most definitely doing something.

“What’s that noise then?”

“What noise? Are you hallucinating, Changbinnie? Should we take you to see someone?” Minho fakes concern and you hear the soft little growl that comes out of Changbin.

“Two can play this game, hyung.” You’re suddenly worried for the state of the restaurant.

“What if none played this game? Wouldn’t that be nice?” Your pleas go ignored.

“And what exactly are you planning on doing?” Minho is leaning across the table now, shoving the pretty centerpiece out of the way so he can get closer to Changbin and it’s not too long after that you hear a chirp. Minho’s ears twitch and his pupils widen before he shakes his head and glares.

“Low blow, Seo Changbin.”

“And playing frequencies only I can hear isn’t?”

“You’re just a sore loser.”

“Loser? I haven’t lost anything.” You sigh when you hear Changbin’s voice start to rise, quickly calling for the tab.

“I’m so sorry,” is what you say to the waiter after he comes back, gesturing to the mess your boyfriends made of the table and the way they’re almost wrestling right now. You tip him well, it's the least you can do.

When you get your card back you stand up, grabbing your things and hauling your boyfriends out of their seats by the collars of their shirts. If you were meaner, you’d pinch their ears between your fingers for causing a ruckus, but you aren’t, so you don’t.

Changbin’s ears hang droopily when you get outside, and he hugs your arm tightly.

“Did we make you upset?” You turn your head to look at him and his eyes are as wide as the moon. You think of that tweet, I’m not arguing with a man who has pretty brown eyes. Whatever you say, beautiful. You sigh and pet the velveteen fur of his ears softly.

“A little bit, but, I’ll get over it.” Minho plasters himself to your other side, and when you turn to look at him, his ears are pinned down.

“Ah, I’m sorry, jagiya. I just wanted to have a little fun.” Changbin punches him in the shoulder and he winces.

“Like I said, I’ll get over it.” You start trying to walk to the car, but it’s easier said than done with the two of them hanging off of you like this. You see their heads move a bit out of your peripheral vision before Minho makes an affirming little hum and you’re being half-carried half-dragged down the sidewalk.

“You’ll get over it faster if you have help,” Minho says, and Changbin nods, long ears flopping around.

“Exactly. We have to apologize to our sweetie.” You squint at them. It’s never good when they both agree on something.

“What are you going to do?” Changbin opens your car door and nudges you gently until you’re all the way in.

“Have you ever been to Paris?” Minho asks, buckling himself into the backseat.

“I was thinking about seeing the Eiffel Tower,” Changbin finishes, sliding the key into the ignition. You snort at the joke, rolling your eyes.

“I think a little tourism would be nice.” Changbin smiles at you, nose scrunching slightly, and rests a hand on your thigh.

“Good. We were thinking the same thing.”

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[advisorsage]

Anyone else see The Spider at the ass crack of dawn every morning but only when opening your right eye or is that just me?

[lighthouseas]

au where poor writer mike wheeler who can't seem to get a story published jumps at the chance to buy a weirdly cheap house in a nice neighborhood near a good publishing company because he doesn't have the money for anything else.

however, upon entering said house, he quickly realizes that it is not all that it seems - the wifi glitches constantly, the doors lock and unlock on their own, he hears footsteps at all times of the night, and he's starting to think that the really cute bowlcut-adorned apparition haunting his dreams isn't just something his constantly sleep deprived brain is making up. he would move out - except for the fact that he doesn't have the money to live anywhere else, so, after a while, he learns to live with said apparition. it's good inspiration for his books, anyway.

and so, when ghost!will eventually realizes that his haunting efforts are fruitless, he decides - against all ghost laws - that he should appear to mike. unfortunately, mike is very cute, and throws will off immediately. and even more unfortunately, mike doesn't find will scary at all.

cue lots of gay ghost pining. and also mike thinking he's hallucinating because he's so sleep deprived

[sincerely-sofie]

*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*

enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.

[violetheart77]

Yeah, another one

(text post source)

[timdrake-yumm]

Bernard: I think the Lazarus pit is actually just a bunch of guacamole

Tim: babe, wtf? Are you drunk? High?

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Uhh dunno buddy. If Sandal says there is a scary old lady then i am inclined to believe that there is in fact some sort of Scary Old Lady

[plasticross]

stupid fucking fruit picnic. what a bizarre third wheeling date.

[cistematicchaos]

You guys ever have those moments where you have to catch yourself mid-conversation and not say something that completely reveals the fact you’re the “bad” type of crazy? 

[jjstein2]

random thought but sometimes i have a vision where jackie starts consistently hallucinating anti in the corners of his eyes after rescuing jameson. and so one time when jackie and jamie are having sex he starts hallucinating anti sitting in the chair in the corner watching the whole thing, and jackie is terrified but he cant stop bc he doesnt want jameson to worry. so he just keeps fucking him while anti watches, describing exactly how hes going to rip out jackies guts for what hes done to his husband

[todayisafridaynight]

haunted by the knowledge that sega loves referencing their franchises and how many missed opportunities there were for kiryu to meet sonic the hedgehog

[frostryn]

Realized last night that my epilepsy that seemed to onset last October has actually been happening my entire life, my family just thought it was really bad night terrors or sleep walking. And as a teenager I thought I just got stuck sometimes and also that I was being haunted by 3 ghosts and that two of them wanted to kill me. reframing_my_entire_life.exe ×͜×

[cuppajj]

My cousin smoked something and now she’s hallucinating and telling me to “get cuppajj over here” for some reason

huh

[dyketubbo]

i think as a society we should eradicate unreality jokes/pranks forever

[elbowreveal]

Just took some expired Benadryl so it’s only fair that I log into Minecraft