#this is a joke i am not an artist and that's pretty much evident so don't zoom in i'm embarrassed :<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[morphestic]

Akutagawa!!

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Bad Faith, Fandom, and Respect

All right. You know what? Screw it. I saw one post I just cannot ignore anymore that encapsulated all of my problems with the fandom right now. Personal rant incoming.

I understand that there's a nuance to the discussion of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, and that there are people going a little too far with both their critiques and their support of the show. But oh my God, I'm tired of being straw-manned and made fun of for legitimate critiques of the show.

I just used the block button on someone in this fandom for the first time. Some of you might think I'm overreacting for this, but I saw a post that I could not on any level stand. This person, who I will not name names of, because I'd rather just block them and never deal with their level of bad faith again, took their one legitimate criticism of those of us who critique the show, the back and forth on whether or not Izzy's death was homophobic or not, and used it as the first in a literal list of straw man critiques that no one I've read in the OFMD Critical tag has made (and I check it like once a day bc I like reading meta, sorry), proceeding to absolutely make fun of the legitimate critiques that people have of the show, parodying them in the worst possible ways. They took our legitimate critiques about everything from the sexist handling Zheng Yi Sao's character, the absolute ableism of the finale, the questionable optics of the handling of trauma, etc. and stretched them into things that they very much were not (two examples were that we were crying ableism bc of something to do with seagulls and that we thought the problem in the Stede&Zheng dynamic was the "emotional labor" involved).

Now I'm pretty sure this post was a joke. I *think* it was a joke. But how in the world am I supposed to feel comfortable in the main section of a fandom like this when the comments and replies to this post were full of people agreeing sincerely that this is what the critical section of the fandom is like? How am I supposed to feel when I just see people making fun of me for my analysis of the show? I love this show. I adore season 1 and I'm clearly still making fan related content (moodboards) for season 2 along with my critiques.

Sure, I vibe way more with fanfiction than the actual canon at this point, but I still genuinely engage with the show. And to have the critiques that I made in good faith, regarding issues that I sincerely care about such as ableism, sexism, homophobia, and the handling of trauma, made fun of and taken out of context and straw-manned to their extreme, makes me feel so absolutely unwelcome in this fandom.

Other than keeping up with the couple of fan series that I'm currently still reading, I don't know if I can stay in this fandom any longer. I can't say that I'm excited for the new season if this is the kind of response that any good faith critique of the show is going to get. I can't say that I feel safe or comfortable when there are this many people ready to dog pile on me for a critique I made with ACTUAL TEXTUAL EVIDENCE to back it up.

I would like to thank all the people who have been making excellent critiques of the show. Their meta-analysis is what got me into making my own critiques, which I was nervous about making in any other fandom. I don't think I've in any way tagged them all, but just a few I can remember off the top of my head. Go read their critiques/meta- it's really good!

@sky-fire-forever @carrymelikeimcute @blue-b-bro @bougiebutchbinch @treesofgreen @sixstepsaway @alex51324

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has engaged with my mood boards or my critiques or anything else that I've made, as well as the amazing writers and artists in this fandom (such as @ruecrown, @aletterinthenameofsanity, @fool-for-luv, and @possumsmushroom). You guys have kept me going with my love for the show and engaging with it for a while now. Despite the stuff that is making me take a step back now, I really did love this while it lasted! I'm still planning on making a few more mood boards, but other than that, I'm going to take a step back from engaging.

Hope this post can spread enough support/joy your way to counteract the ache I'm currently feeling!

Sincerely,

Ashley (aka @khruschevshoe)

[venndaai]

I finished Checkmate recently, which means I can finally go ahead and write a very important post!

Lymond Characters Ranked By Their Degree Of Transgender Swag*

Danny Hislop: listen to me. Listen. I 100%, no joke, believe that Daniel Hislop is canonically AFAB. There is zero evidence to contradict this and considerable evidence for it, if you count up every time Danny's small stature and beardlessness is pointedly mentioned, and also if you just look at how much swag he has.

Oonagh O'Dwyer: canonically was happy for exactly one afternoon in her whole life, and that was because she was passing as a boy during it. I am just saying.

Francis Crawford of Lymond and Sevigny: canonically extremely good at drag. Is God's specialest princess. Is apparently physically nearly identical to his half-sister, including their voices. High levels of transgender swag.

Robin Stewart: is canonically not trans, but a lot of his issues would be even worse if he was, nice, and he is also my favorite poor little meow meow so I'm claiming him.

Marthe: already has Gender Trouble up the wazoo, why not add a bit more. Is apparently physically nearly identical to her half-brother, including their voices.

Mikal: is already fem, bisexual, and the swaggiest character on this list. He could be anything he wants to be baby.

Adam: soft gentle bisexual artist who can also Murder. Decent amount of transgender swag.

Christian Stewart: pretty sure she's a cis lesbian and that's why marriage feels like death to her, but it could absolutely be because she's an egg!

Will Scott: again, very much a cis gay man, but AU transgender Will would be delightful.

Archie: I feel like Archie transcends gender, tbh.

Philippa Somerville: no trans swag but she'd definitely be an Ally.

Jerott: he's already confused about enough, let's not make it worse.

Margaret Lennox: my favorite failgirl villainess has zero swag of any kind.

Richard Crawford: always and forever the token cishet. Transgender swag levels terminally in the negative.

(*obligatory "just, like, my opinion, man" disclaimer goes here)

[rah-nee-yah]

i literally planned to post this like two weeks ago but i was scared people would think im delusional (i am, actually)

BUT im on a high rn after that vi clip and im just bouncing off the walls and im actually so excited and after linkin park was finally announced to be part of the ost i really wanted to post this…

but what if chappell roan is the mystery artist on the ost…

I KNOW WHAT UR PROBABLY THINKING BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT DUDE (this is a joke pls dont take this seriously 🙏🙏)

HERE IS MY EVIDENCE:

i made a post of how chappell and jinx have a joan of arc inspired getup

this one is obviously a very big stretch because anyone can reference joan of arc, so i would like to turn your attention to her vma performance.

first off, the obvious reference is she has two braids for jinx. but lets observe the prop she has in her hands. a crossbow headed for a castle…almost a parallel to an ultra mega death rocket hitting a certain council building…

when she shoots the crossbow, spark effects form an X and the lighting turns BLUE, not an expected red or orange, again another reference to jinx.

i think what really made me start developing this theory is this pose chappell does. she does it twice during the performance. i think it might be a reference to jinx’s obsession with guns and this little moment. also why tf would she go out of her way to make this pose?? when she’s singing in this part, she isn’t saying the lyric “shoot another shot” (which is when u would expect her to make this pose).

this may also explain why track ten has been hidden. around a year ago, when someone from arcane said they were in contact with a big artist, which im assuming is linkin park (theyre ranked like 34 on spotify), chappell wasnt a huge celebrity yet. it wasnt until around april that she really started to gain popularity, and i mean A LOT of popularity, probably to almost the same degree as linkin park. at this point, the team prolly just decided to hide her song for shits and giggles like they did with the linkin park song.

anyways this is the part where my theory is based off pure no evidence speculation and personal indulgence, but if this ends up coming true, i hope her song ‘subway’ is the one for arcane cuz it fits caitvi so well and i need that banger released NEOW. not to mention, if it is track ten, it would be played in the middle of the season, which is during the speculated caitvi divorce arc. (also, im pretty sure chappell started performing the song in early june and yk what else came out early june?? THE ARCANE S2 TEASER)

either way, it probably isnt chappell roan (EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LOVE IF IT WAS). im dying to know who the track ten song belongs to. why is it still hidden?? is it somehow an artist bigger than linkin park?? someone mentioned rihanna since fenty worked with riot on mel’s design, and i really like that idea (although it is DEF not happening rihanna is too big of an artist). now that i think about it, i would love a song about mel…

anyways this is a complete shitpost (that i spent WAY too much time on) if ur reading this and somehow put up with me yapping about my delusions, thank you ur a real one 🫡🫡

[maxinemeows]

(I originally posted this on twitter but I wanted to share my thoughts on class of 09 the flipside here too!)

OKAY FIRST OF, DONT SHOOT ME- I DO NOT SUPPORT THE CREATOR- I just saw the tweet of the person that came out with his story with the creator.

I don't like bullying and especially towards younger people so yeah! This opinion is about just the game! 😭😭😭 (Even tho the creator has done all the bad stuff long ago he might still be doing this in the present? I have no idea but hey, I will not risk it until I see evidence or whatever the fuck. 😃)

I think people are shocked that having a protagonist that isn't a sociopath makes the game less funny. (Because of Jecka's emotional and normal reactions.)

I get it, you wanted comedy, you wanted to laugh but you got something else, cope! I think it's good to see a real side of this universe.

Not only we see how bad Nicole can be, to even Jecka (nuance is important) but we also see the aftermath of Nicole's hostage friendship route!

Let me break it to you, it is supposed to not be funny, it is supposed to be heartbreaking.

Jecka's dad situation has funny moments but ultimately is it really funny at the end of the day?

Also for the people that say "there is too much feet shit," the game has 5 main routes, only 2 of its routes have that as their "main thing" like in the Re-up, with the homeless route.

You can obviously criticize this game obvi, but some people seem to miss the point about multiple aspects about it.

Like- it still has the same ingredients from the past games- what, you just dont like it because Nicole is being Nicole??? Or think that the abuse "feels too real"?

(Additional stuff that I included because I had more to say.)

Maybe I am being biased and just like the series so much that I refuse to perceive this third game as a bad one, sure maybe.

But maybe a lot of people are projecting waaay too much onto this game. Like maybe expecting fan service is bad?? And some things are obviously meant for fanfics? (I am talking about people being shocked for not having more "ship moments," like come on that's not realistic.)

Also, the thing of "this is clearly fetishistic bait for the creator" I cannot see it. (I again might be wrong.)

No feet were shown (so the focus was clearly not in the sexual aspect of it.) Jecka and Nicole were clearly uncomfortable the entire time and the boys were mocked by the characters and narrative! Basically like all the pedo jokes in literally the entire saga! But this is better because they at least killed Jeffrey???

And now the pain fetish thing, that I see it even less, again we are playing as Jecka, the non sociopath, she has an abusive father and it will suck! And the game treats it as it should be! It is scary and it is not fun, and still it cracks pretty good jokes from time to time about it.

I'm gonna say what everyone wants to say, this game is uncomfortable and its a different experience than the other two!

But I dont think the execution and the game itself is bad *because* of that. Things can be good and make you feel those things and thats completely valid!

If you want some saphic content from this franchise do not worry there are so many amazing writers and artists here that you will be fine no matter what!

Anyways this was my silly long yapping session, hope other people that feel similarly will see this. :P

[abiiors]

okay so while we’re on the topic… i’m a newer fan of the boys, i actually got tickets to one of their concerts back in october when they were touring in america from my aunt even though i had never really been a fan of them (her heart was in the right place 😭😭 bc i do listen to a lot of music that’s like in their sphere ig?? and i’ve been to festivals that they’ve performed at so i can see why she would’ve thought to get me those tickets, i just never really listened to their music before) but i went to the show regardless bc hello free concert tickets?? would have been a sin to let them go to waste tbh and oh my god am i so glad i did, it was actually one of the best shows i’ve ever been too!! especially considering i only really knew their popular songs?? like robbers, somebody else, aaaand it’s not living if it’s not with you

ANYWAYS that being said, since i had never really followed them before i always pretty much ignored anything i saw about them on twitter and stuff, mainly the negative things said abt matty bc not my faves, not my business?? but i gotta ask someone who’s been a fan of them for a lot longer than i have, what iiiis the deal with all the “matty healy racist” “matty healy homophobic” “matty healy [insert smth hateful here]” rhetoric??? bc from what i’ve seen of him after getting to know more abt the band he doesn’t appear that way at all?? like were there things he said that were taken out of context??? what’s up with the nazi accusations??? also homophobic??? is twt not aware of what he did in malaysia?? also straight men that are homophobic would never have the kind of close male friendships that the band have with one another… it seems like he’s twitter’s scapegoat tbh but idk i’m simply so confused and anything i find online trying to explain it all seems very biased based off the language they use so if you can/would like to… pls help 😭

okay first of all, welcome to the fandom!! i'm so glad you're here and i'm so glad you got to see them live!! they genuinely are so so incredible <33

now onto the questions!

i won't say matty's a saint. he's definitely done things in the past that are disappointing (to me at least, as well as to many others on here). last year he went on a podcast called the adam friedland show where many tasteless jokes were made about japanese people, the porn website ghetto gaggers, ice spice as well as countless other tastelss things were said.

now i really really want to clarify that matty never made those jokes but he did laugh along to them which is also a shitty fucking thing to do. he's since said that he was advised not to go on the podcast by people close to him and he still did it. however, he's also publicly apologised to ice spice and she's also said that the 1975 are one of her fav artists.

in may of 2023 he started allegedly dating taylor swift (i still don't believe it, i still think they either just made music or they just fucked or both) which exposed him to a whole new level of fame that was unprecedented. and the swifties are... rabid, to say the least. they made fun of his appearance, his past addiction issues, hoped he would have a relapse and die, all sorts of horrendous stuff. they discovered the podcast which was pretty fresh at the time and the whole thing spiralled into him being labelled a racist, homophobe, transphobe, pedophile, nazi, you name it, he was being called it.

however literally NONE of it was backed by evidence (but i don't expect people whose sole source of information is twt to realise that)

they have clearly never learned what a nazi is. i'm not even going to try to debunk that here because i feel like it would be insulting to your intelligence

he's not homophobic or transphobic, he's literally an ally to the point of being a fruity lil shit. he's been banned from 2 countries (dubai and malaysia) for openly supporting queer rights. they were also briefly jailed in malaysia for the stunt they pulled and had a lawsuit filed against them. he's even won ally of the year at the diva awards in 2019

literally every single fan who's ever met him has had nothing but amazing things to say about him. he's been incredibly kind and sweet to people

the band has always been openly political and vocal about their beliefs

you're absolutely right about him being the twitter scapegoat because unfortunately that's exactly what it is </3

i hope that clears things up tho, i'm sorry this is so long!!

[ratsoh-writes]

alrighty! Spare me i’ve only done this once :,)

A strength or i guess hobby is definitely reading! I can do that for fun but when forced it’s kinda like a form of torture? Hope that makes sense. Anyway! I cannot cook to save my life. Craft mac and cheese has been my victim many times of disappointed. I’m pretty clingy so not being able to hold or talk to my (match up person? S/O?) S/O for long makes me uncomfortable in a relationship. Although I’m great in comfortable silence, they just have to be there when i have something worth talking for.

A deal breaker would be distance and slow burns. Posible; yes, will it strain the relationship to the point of ending it; also yes. Also shit talking, it’s okay to evaluate a relationship based in evidence but not on he said she said crap. That’s a fast ick.

The most hot thing a person can do is compliment. No joke. My ass needs validation so bad it’s not even funny. Like:

“your eyes are really pretty” for example.

or something like that. It’s just kind and bashfully effective.

I wouldn’t say i’d like someone for items, but if i walk into your room and find a hint if ANY games or a bookshelf. Goodness gravy will i talk your ear off. I just wanna know your interests and stuff! :D Also if anything we’d know each other form similar interests

great Segway (back) to that by the way. I love animals, but most birds make scary aggressive feather flapping nosies and that’s fucking scary

You have to learn when a joke is to far. I can’t take a joke for long. Teasing and poking is fine but you gotta stop for a bit to let me cool down. I’ve never started a fight but definitely said some very hurtful things to friends because of this.

OH. I think this is probably a deal breaker for someone but I can be very mean when in public about noise. Like sugar i love you and all but please. The person your talking about is right behind you. Also someone who can stop me from buying myself out of a house. That’s important too

this si way to long sorry :,) <3

Hmm after much consideration I think I have just the skeleton for you…. GEARS! Nomadtale sans!

Gears is a diva, no sugarcoating it, but he’s not the mean sassy kind, he’s the “look how cute I am, and you too” kind! Gears is usually pretty positive about every one around him, and while he does tease, he rarely goes too far with it. He knows better than to crap talk about stranger in public at the least lol. Oh and give him compliments and he’ll compliment you back! It’s that easy!

Gears needs a lot of attention, so he’s great for a clingy SO. He craves affection, whether it’s in the form of gifts, snuggles or compliments, as long as his partners attention is on him enough each day he’s happy. You being around all the time is a bonus to him!

Gears is a game nerd! He loves creative games like Minecraft, any sort of open world, decorating games, things where he can let his artistic juices flow. So if you’re into any of these games as well, he’s great to play and talk with! And boy does he love to talk about things he loves

Being a nomad monster though means that gears is especially fragile compared to most monsters. So he gets defensive easily when picked up without warning, and is easily spooked when he feels unsafe. Gears isn’t someone you take to horror movies or sketchy areas

[sideordertheories]

this. this is The image ever. made me genuinely think so much i thought it deserved its own post.

so it's a normal octoling standing in a large room, in front of what seems to be an elevator, right? we can see what looks like leaves hanging from the ceiling, the elevator looks very fancy on the outside, reminds me of like a five star hotel or something, but it's also huge in comparison to the 'octoling'.

except. this isn't a normal octoling AT ALL.

(this might be a bit long so more under the cut)

if you look closer, the character has pointy ears. which is an inkling trait. octolings are shown to have rounded ears, while inklings have pointy ones. but other than that, while the character's hair seems to resemble the octoling hair typically shown on agent 8, it has no suction cups on the outside, which is again, an inkling trait, shown on every hairstyle where inklings have suction cups on the inside & octolings have suction cups on the outside. (except for one octoling hairstyle but that one doesn't count)

what confuses me is, why would the artists do this? the character we play as, or at least the one that is shown off the most in the trailer, is a normal octoling, with rounded ears & suction cups on the hair. this is where i am going to make a HUGE claim. if you go back & look at the image with the spikes in the ground, the character ALSO doesn't have suction cups. as opposed to basically every other depiction of the octoling, where suction cups can clearly be seen, even in that one with the huge boxes where the octoling is very tiny. they still decided to include the detail of the suction cups there. so why not here? what makes these two images so special? & this is where i'm going to say something which i don't think has been said before. i think this character is in fact, NOT the octoling shown every other time. as for who this character actually is then, who knows? likely not the player character. maybe an ally, maybe an enemy. maybe a clone of our main character, since they look so similar. maybe they ARE the same character, & these things are just a stylistic choice, but i doubt it.

regarding what this character could actually be:

• an inkling with weird hair

• an inktoling, which is a hybrid of an inkling & an octoling, however i find this theory unlikely

• a clone that went wrong, which considering some other imagery in this trailer it COULD be possible, although i still find this a bit unlikely because why would an octoling clone end up with inkling features

• a cuttleling, which is highly unlikely as well, BUT they do actually exist, as shown in the splatoon 2 dlc's art book. now i don't own it myself so honestly the splatoon fandom page i got this from could be lying but i doubt something like that wouldn't be called out, but according to it there's a cd visible in one stage that displays two idols that in the art book are referred to as cuttlefish. i think this theory is interesting because it could imply we are getting cuttlelings in splatoon 3 or the next game, which some people already think will happen because of the reoccurring cuttlefish imagery (iirc rassicas made a pretty good post showing off this evidence) i also think it's pretty weird for an image to be put into the octo expansion's art book & just never be relevant again but then again the splatoon bands do stuff like that all the time

•it could be dedf1sh (i highly highly doubt this and i'm kinda saying this as a joke but all i'm saying is dedf1sh is always getting into some sort of trouble, i mean who's to say she didn't accidentally get herself turned into a half inkling)

again sorry for the long post but this just. makes me think so much i love this image so much. aside from the amount of theories that can arise from this it's also beautifully made as are all the other splatoon artworks & im so happy that the artists clearly put so much care into every small detail of these games

also i would link the rassicas post but i literally cant figure out how to do that?? if anyone knows how to do the thing where you say "link to the post" & it's underlined & when you click on it it takes you to the post PLEASEEE tell me i want people to be able to have the context without digging through tumblr & google like i did. for the time being i found the post by going on google & searching "cuttlelings splatoon" & scrolling a bit till i saw tumblr

[silicon-tmblr]

Kokichi ??? Protag + Kaito Supreme Leader Talentswap

So we have a pretty clear lead going on in the poll right now. I'd be surprised if another choice manages to surpass this one, but if one does I'll get to that one next!

I'll start by covering my notes for the overall explanation, Ch. 1, and Ch. 2 of this concept; I thought I'd be able to do it all in one go but it's getting really long (both in word length, and in the amount of time I've spent putting this together!)

Let's get into it!

Preamble:

So Kaito has pretty insane influence over the whole DRV3 group (except Kokichi). I mean, after viewing the Chapter 3 Flashback Light, all it takes is for Kaito to say he doubts it for everyone else in the group to disbelieve it as well (...except Kokichi, because of course he doesn't care what Kaito thinks). Same with Kaito swaying everyone to use the first Flashback Light in Chapter 2. All in all... he's honestly pretty terrifying to me. And that's when he's supposed to be your ally! So with this in mind, I started thinking of a talentswap where Kaito takes on an antagonistic role as the Ultimate Supreme Leader!

In other words, the core concept behind this talentswap is: Kaito as Supreme Leader. Spoiler alert: he's terrifying

Now at the start of brainstorming this story concept, I actually did mention how "we can't ever have Kokichi as a protagonist. That just doesn't work, he's not protagonist material. It's the kinda lame thing Kokichi fans who like him too much do" and well guess what I am now

Jokes aside, this is probably the one concept where I could see a Kokichi protag working, since we'd need someone capable of standing up against Kaito to be our protagonist. The next best candidate is Kaede, I'd say, but she's had her chances (I came up with the Kaede Assassin protag talentswap before this one, too). Plus, Kokichi's talent (or rather, lack of known talent) makes him particularly vulnerable and forces him to rely more on others than he'd do otherwise, allowing him to be more protagonist-like, so to speak.

And before we get into things... I, completely on accident, set up this talentswap to be very self-indulgent. By that I mean I came up with this talentswap with my sibling Sebec and I started assigning talents and roles excitedly until Sebec pointed out "hey. Doesn't this basically set up your favourite ship?" and the realization led me to scream in agony for 30 minutes

So, without further ado...

Concept: Prologue + Ch. 1

Obviously we have the usual: wake up in a locker, meet everyone, oh my god killing game

Where things really begin to diverge is when Kaede starts trying to take charge.

In canon, during his free time events with Kaede, Kaito actually mentions that he would've started leading the group himself if Kaede hadn't beaten him to it. While she's alive, he's nice enough to not obstruct Kaede's efforts at least (although his peers bash him the whole time for seeming lazy for it)

In this talentswap, Kaito is not nearly as nice. Evidently, an Ultimate Supreme Leader with his personality wouldn't want to be shown up by any of his peers. So from here, we have a split in the group as they become divided into two; like a more extreme, exciting, and prolonged version of canon's Chapter 3.

Our two teams are as follows:

Kaito Momota, the Ultimate Supreme Leader

Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Detective

Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Cosplayer?

Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Tennis Pro

Tsumugi Shirogane, the Ultimate (Makeup) Artist

Miu Iruma, the Ultimate Magician

Ryoma Hoshi, the Ultimate Anthropologist

Korekiyo Shinguji, the Ultimate Entomologist

Kirumi Tojo, the Ultimate Aikido Master

Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Prisoner

and...

Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Adventurer

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate ???

Keebo, the Ultimate Inventor (still a robot, as I tend to do with my talentswaps)

Tenko Chabashira, the Ultimate Survivor

Rantaro Amami, the Ultimate Child Caregiver

Angie Yonaga, the Ultimate Maid

Turf wars!! Woohoo!!! So obviously, with Chapter 1 comes the First Blood Perk. And Kaito Momota does not like the First Blood Perk. Kaito Momota wants an exciting killing game, with an exciting class trial. Thus, he decided to cause problems on purpose.

That's right! Kaito Momota engineered the first case by targeting the Ultimate Prisoner, Gonta Gokuhara. But he can't just kill Gonta because then he'd miss the rest of the killing game! Here's where the content warning comes in; do be careful reading the next two passages (please).

Unfortunately, Mister Gokuhara is very unaware of his own strength. As in, he is prone to manslaughter level unaware. He was raised by prison family! Sometimes they went away, but they always came back... (kill me)

Kaito, being a benevolent Supreme Leader who spreads the truth, took it upon himself to inform Gonta that he was a danger to society. And with this knowledge, Gonta took his life into his own hands; thus bypassing the First Blood Perk.

(I think??? this is dark humour??? god I feel like a sadist right now)

In the first class trial, Kaito insinuates that the culprit must be someone who wants the whole group dead, hence they didn't take the First Blood Perk. This leads Maki to point the direction of doubt towards Tenko, the Ultimate Survivor. Unlike canon's Rantaro, Survivor Tenko had full knowledge of what being the Ultimate Survivor meant. Alongside that, she shared that knowledge with the group. Maki reasons that the Ultimate Survivor doesn't just want to escape the killing game; rather, they play the game to win.

So from there Kokichi and co. have to fight back and reveal the truth, etc. Though I don't have details brainstormed for this segment, I would like to throw in that Kokichi's class trial gameplay would feature a lie detection mechanic; ironically, this would replace V3's gameplay element of lying, meaning Kokichi doesn't end up lying in class trials. Fun, huh?

I envisioned that you'd be prompted to pick out a statement as a lie out of a section of the trial's transcript, so to speak, but could pick many of the statements with only one being correct. Other statements would send you down winding branching paths, with some leading back to the correct path after detecting enough lies, and some being dead ends which might give a clue to the right answer. Kind of like extreme versions of the back routes.

On to Chapter 2!

After the first class trial, Kokichi heads out for a walk in the courtyard at night, as he is wont to do. For some reason he's really restless at night. Never really feels like sleeping.

Now, what Kokichi doesn't know is that someone's watching him!! That someone is on the second floor of the academy, and they are an excellent sniper. This would be the Ultimate Assassin, Shuichi Saihara, who used his skill in disguise to claim the title of Ultimate Cosplayer. Mister Saihara has been put up to eliminating Kokichi by none other than Kaito Momota. Our assassin friend figures he can just put a few bullets through Kokichi and call it a day.

So he shoots him once.

Kokichi seems rather resilient, though, and isn't knocked down.

So Shuichi shoots him again. And again. He shoots Kokichi through the head. He has to be dead now, he's even fallen onto the ground.

So Shuichi stops shooting and leaves to retrieve Kokichi's body, hoping he can hide it to avoid a class trial.

...Kokichi is not dead.

Mostly because he was never alive to begin with.

When Shuichi stops shooting him, Kokichi drags himself to the dorms and knocks on the Ultimate Inventor, Keebo's, door.

And y'know what Keebo says to him?

"... Y-you... are not human."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed."

Kokichi Oma is actually the Ultimate Robot, so realistic that he could pass for human. And Keebo finds that not only has he sustained heavy damage from being shot a couple dozen times, he is also low on battery. It's a good thing he figured out he was a robot before he ran out of power.

Apparently that's the most notable event of Chapter 2. I wrote in my notes that Rantaro was killed, but I didn't specify by whom; just know that it's someone on Kaito's side.

[ducktracy]

hello again! hope you are doing well ^^ recently, I’ve been on a bit of a popeye craze as of late, truly I think popeye and his crazy band of characters are the epitome of my childhood lol and I was hoping to ask you- as I am also trying to explain to a good friend of mine the different eras of popeye through the cartoon’s entire run- the pros and cons each era has to offer with every iteration of the cartoon lol, including the film (which I actually haven’t seen yet!) it’s insane to me to think about jack mercer voicing popeye for so, SO many years and yet, I feel there’s so little we know about him y’know? plus, that same friend and I spoke about the relevance of popeye in today’s world and how it feels he’s lost relevance sadly, I don’t personally think he’s regarded as one of the famous cartoon characters nowadays, which I’m honestly quite broken up by tbh. I feel the best example of this could be the cancelled animated popeye film, but that might be a story for another day lmao. ty for reading all this btw!

HIYA!! I LOVE THIS ASK!! i’m so flattered more people are beginning to associate me with Popeye 🥹 here’s my brief sales pitch of “watch Seasin’s Greetinks and Let’s Celebrake before the holidays are over”!!! while its on my mind! and a personal reminder to myself because i haven’t either yet! BUT, MOVING ON..

YEAH!!! IT IS CRAZY, Popeye used to be SUPER iconic! evidently Bob Clampett was excited to get Warren Foster on board as a writer because he knew he had written some of the Popeye shorts, and he sure enough has slipped a few Popeye jokes in his cartoons (and animated the Popeye chick in Porky’s Garden!) Mike Maltese was also a Popeye writer turned famous Warner guy… Popeye was not only revered by the public, but fellow cartoonists! as it absolutely should!

AND YES Jack Mercer was on the saddle for a LOOOONG time!! Mae Questel was the first of the main voice actors to solidify, stepping into Olive on and off in 1934 whereas Gus Wicke (who is the definitive Bluto to me, sorry Jackson Beck, and maybe sorry to Pingo Colvig who i love but was NOOOOOT cast well for Bluto) and Jack Mercer stepped into their roles in 1935. you may or may not know this already, but Mercer got the job because he worked as a storyboard artist and would walk around the studio doing Popeye impressions. this made Billy Costello’s replacing on account of his alcoholism and general unreliability pretty easy!

I STILL NEED TO SEE THE 1980 POPEYE MOVIE MYSELF, my uncle (who’s the only person i know irl that’s as much of a cartoon fanatic as i am) was urging me to watch it but it’s slipped in my list of obligations.. i wanna see it! i love movies like that that are proudly… “campy” is the absolute wrong word but for shorthand, campy and warm in its embrace of its silliness. and evidently it’s pretty close to the actual comics, showing Olive’s family (full of Oyl/oil puns!) which is exciting!!

AH MAN! i’m doing lots of rambling myself, but i’m so glad you sent this in!! i really would love to see a resurgence in Popeye’s popularity. as it stands now, the Popeye shorts are right behind LT for my favorite… pretty high praise since i’ve fostered a love of Tom and Jerry since childhood! while it may not be as popular as it once was, people such as yourself taking the time to send in such a thoughtful and kind ask gives me hope! the people don’t know they need Popeye… but with me around, they SOON WILL

[scenekidfancams]

cool shit I found on bandcamp 1: metal/emo/screamo stuff 2/12/23

I usually find stuff on bandcamp and either a. never share it again or b. can't find it again. So I hope this these bi weekly segments (hopefully) segments will help you find and share new tunes :3

DJ Count Olkoth - .​​​.​​​.​​​Welcome to the Dungeon House

this is the most original dungeon synth I have heard. because some fascist white neonazi fucking dnd nerd didn't make it, instead the dungeon synth was made by dj seinfield's friend whos way into bandcamp tape trading, hating religion, bullet belts, and red wine...oh and trve kvlt black metal. known as the "...evidence of the first known Dungeon-House record", this is gonna be in my rotation for a while. the boots and cats and thumpy four the floor house beats are gonna catch me twerking the moshpit. ffo: dj seinfield, Your Arms Are My Cocoon specifically the live songs on Your Arms Are My Cocoon (Deluxe Edition) , and idk funny haha four on the floor beats but with distortion.

buy here ----

Direct copy [3$] (all profits towards artist: Count Olkoth) https://northerndoom.bandcamp.com/album/welcome-to-the-dungeon-house

label copy [1$] https://grimestone.bandcamp.com/album/dj-count-olkoth-welcome-to-the-dungeon-house

Winter Demo 2022 - Every Promise Kept

its nice to seeing a christcore band that's actually not homophobic // transphobic // sexist etc etc and actually practice what they preach. often most Christians can be cringe and often will not call out poor behavior. jay barker (she/they) speaking to no echo "I think there's this assumption that if you're in a Christian band you have to be a hate-monger and that's not the case, three of the five people in this band are trans women, and we're pissed off at the state of the church in America and it comes through in our lyrics." also their riffs high key slaps. also they played in a bookstore with upcoming mathcore outfit callous daoboys so that's also pretty cool.

ffo: zao, focal point, no cure xxx.

buy here ----

merch:

Paid DL - https://everypromisekept.bandcamp.com/album/winter-demo-2022

Mind Goblin - Fall 2021 demonstration

DE straight edge hardcore band band that's also a good deez nuts joke with troll 2 references, hailing from Newark, mind goblin, is a band that will make you scream, laugh and crowdkill a your homies. also some slow screamo and doom metal elements in the mix and you get a spicy meatballa of a band.

DL - https://mindgoblin302.bandcamp.com/album/fall-2021-demonstration

Hate5six footage from Nov 17th 2021 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJhvt8tsDs&ab_channel=hate5six

The World in Broken Glass - demo 2022

DISCLAIMER: (marcie is in my band bloodstainedeyes and the world in broken glass).

I don't have real words to describe, but holey original, beautiful and holy healing cathartic release. so much potential.

ffo: sysc, midwest screamo, modern queercore.

Paid DL---

never knows best × Garden Angel - Autumn (Single)

garden angel makes some of the most original emo and ambient post-myspace/scene music. she has hooked up with never knows best to make a valentines banger. it reminds me a warm happy times. the lyrics are really super cute. I specifically love the outro

"I smile like an idiot I smile like an idiot I smile for you I smile coz of you"

Also Alice (she/her) needs our help: Tw: abuse

[basilsbestpainting]

I've had this account since middle school, so I think making this parallel here will be funny as shit.

Back at the end of middle school/beginning of high school before I Figure Some Things Out^TM, everyone called me Sherlock. I answered to that more than my name. It was a joke that I was like Sherlock Holmes. I was always quoting the BBC show.

But now that I'm in my 20s and reading the books (not just skimming them), There actually are some striking similarities which occurred over time that I am laughing my ass off.

Lets do this systematically based off Watson’s list, huh?

Knowledge of literature

Mine is pretty extensive. Everyone thought I was going to be a literature major. Found it to be a great escape as a child

Philosophy

Nil here as well. I also see little need in remembering it.

Astronomy

Well, I know the solar system don't worry! But outside of what I was taught in school? Nah. The vastness of space gives me panic attacks.

Politics

Well, I know enough to defend myself against who's trying to kill me. So probably more than the average American

Botany

Very into herbs, though I cannot for the life of me identify different plants. They are all green. My window garden is systematically labeled for this reason

Geology

I used to be able to tell you so fucking much about rocks. But that's been replaced with fibers.

Chemistry

My minor. I'm a chem tutor

Anatomy

Look. I fucking passed. I can accurately tell you how urine passes through the system along with other random tidbits about the decomposition of a corpse. But I can't tell your radius from an ulna if you held a gun to my head.

Sensational literature

Unsure what this refers to, but I can tell you about queer lit from the greeks through the victorian era. So there’s that.

Plays the violin well

No I don’t. I used to play the guitar and trumpet ok. About to relearn guitar. I also went out of my way to play pleasing music.

Is an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman

Guess who’s gay ass just picked up fencing in college? I know how to fence and how to fence artistically (like they do for movies).

Has a good practical knowledge of British La

I know my way around American law enough. It’s something that gets covered in my forensics courses.

And this list doesn’t even mention the fact that I’m a forensics major, focusing on the weird bit (trace evidence which is basically everything that doesn’t fit into an actual discipline). Not exactly great at making friends, but when I find one, I stick to them so fucking hard.

I also was recently sent a post that discussed a transgender reading of Sherlock Holmes? And I’m Transgender? Like, Damn. This is the most relatable character in all of fiction.

[froglegsblogs]

I am saying this as someone who does not even like Spindlehorse shows, but a lot of the hate Viv and the shows get is overblown. Not liking something doesn't mean it HAS to be morally bad, but everything seems to need to be with her even if she knows she fucked up and apologized for it. One thing that has made me take a lot of the crit against her with skepticism is the callouts by Erin Frost where she claimed Viv was abusive to her in dms and encouraged shitting on other shows, but evidence for the later never came about and was denied by other employees and the former's evidence was every day work messages asking when work that had a deadline would be done and if it wasn't done they said they would give the work to someone else to lighten her load (which was claimed to be them taking her job and refusing to give her more). There was also the claims she would blacklist artists from working on other shows, but it was her talking with other show runners and telling them who worked on her show with the most to work on and suggesting them not be given too much work so they wouldn't get burnout (the OPPOSITE of what was claimed). There was also the time someone claimed she stole their jokes and work for the Habin Pilot, but he HAS WRITING CREDITS IN THE SHOW which contradicts his claims. People also claim Viv is fatphobic because she never draws fat characters, but she had multiple fat characters. Then people say those characters are stereotypes, like claiming the character Mimzy is a Jewish stereotype because she's fat and likes money. The problem is SHE ISN'T JEWISH. People complain she is homophobic because gay people are in hell, but there is nothing in the show to say being gay is the thing that got them in hell, only their actual sins like greed or wrath or things like murder. People just literally look for any reason to rag on her and the show because they just don't like her for whatever reason they latched on to and refuse to admit that she may have been misjudged or changed.

Thank you for the info this is pretty reassuring I was kinda beginning to feel like things were completely going over my head it’s good to know that they aren’t entirely.

[returntosaturn271995]

Sunday, August 20th: Hurricane Hillary (Chil-ary)

I've had a very romantic morning to myself. Hurricane Hillary (as of 11:41 am when I'm writing this) is a consistent drizzle at this point. I woke up to grey light, my white comforter, and the light tapping of rain on my window. Deep breaths, fresh smells (although some of that is due to the dew-scented pura pods Hannah bought). Martyn and I agreed "motorbiking" in the middle of a category 4 hurricane probs wasn't the move, but he may come over to keep me company while Hannah is in Mexico and Makenna is in Burbank.

I refreshed Blue's food and water and she was very sweet to me. Her little face and voice make her seem like such a sweet girlie cat. It really amps the aesthetic vibe of the house. Even Lumos is coming for cuddles.

Yesterday and Friday both ended up being great nights. Sam brought rose wine because I mentioned I liked it and added the new Dua Lipa and other Indie artists to the playlist for me. The hotel he booked was called Sonder in "The" OC (an inside joke now because I hadn't realized I had been referencing it like the TV show for years now). For the Miami Vice theme, I ended up wearing a tropical dress and some '90s-looking shades, and a bright red lip that ended up playfully on Sam's lips before the night was over. Damning evidence. We danced stupidly on the front of the boat and hung out with a very-drunk Kelli (her pink wig was askew) and a slightly less drunk Joe.

His friends are very fratty, but they were inviting and Sam seemed one of the more good-natured there. Or maybe that was for my benefit? We ended the night by smoking a joint on the beach, ordering some pizza, and crashing out to an episode of Friends while he rubbed my neck.

The next morning, Kelli and Joe weren't able to make it to brunch due to collegiate levels of hungoverness. We packed up the room and found an alarming amount of other people's items while looking for Sam's flip-flop. We grabbed coffee at Laguna Beach Cafe (my chai tea was delicious), where they offered things like raw milk for an extra four dollars and had pictures of pro-skim borders covering the walls. Too So-Cal to quit.

I charged my phone in the car and played Indie music as the sky slowly turned grey. As much as everyone was supposed to prep for a hurricane, there were still people camped out at the beach and bobbing around the cliffs because Californians truly don't give a fuck.

We picked up Sam's friend Parker and went to his friend Tyler's place for a home-cooked brunch. It was amazing. Maple sausage, scrambled eggs, buttered toast, and bacon. We hung out and chatted until about 1:30 before heading back home.

We made a pit stop in Encinitas for Lobster Rolls at Lobster West (I ended up grabbing a crab one and Sam went for shrimp). Buttery brioche bun and amazing fresh crab with lemon, I am definitely going back. We walked along the cliffside admiring the kind of expensive houses the weird-rich buy before heading back to the car.

All in all it's been a pretty wonderful weekend. We'll see what else the storm blows into town.

[forgetmenotblues]

52 in 52 2022

It is a fact universally recognised that the best time to do your book roundup for the year is 4 months into the next year

I kept not getting round to it,then I watched loads of good movies and was gonna do them but I want to stop procrastinating this so I can always edit those in

2022 Books

1)Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

This was utterly fantastic. Or at least it was once I googled “should I have any idea what’s going on?” and was reassured that no, no I should not. For some reason I only seem to read the Locked Tomb books when I’m on night shifts, and these books are hard enough to keep up with without being sleep deprived. The book is split into two sections, one of which is a retelling of book 1 but with the main character changed, and one is in second person, with the protagonist being traumatised, lobotomised, schizophrenic, and haunted. There’s murder via soup, there’s a threesome with God, there’s a DIFFERENT threesome with God in which I think every participant is at least 2 or 3 different identities… The Necromancer God Emperor of the Universe makes a None pizza with left beef joke… this book has it all. The ever-ramping up pace where you cannot stop reading because the entire last third is one long ever increasing climax (phrasing) reminds me a lot of Terry Pratchett, just queer and Goth and Kiwi.

2)A Practical Guide to Conquering the World, KJ Parker

The third in the loose trilogy starting with 16 ways to defend a walled city. Similarly quasi-Roman historical fantasy with an amoral con artist getting so out of their depth they end up having to conquer the world in order to stay ahead of the heat… you know what you’re getting with a KJ Parker book. Honestly this one didn’t do it as much for me, I think because I binged KJ Parker in 2021 and when every book is similar it works better reading one per year or so… still an utterly enjoyable read.

3)Fellowship of the Ring

Yeah it’s this pretty indie fantasy series, you probably haven’t heard of it… I went with an audiobook this time around, by Phil Dragash. He uses background music from the Peter Jackson films and models the voices on the actors, while doing the full unabridged novels. It’s a great approach to capture the cinematic feeling of the films with the beauty and complexity of the books. Shockingly enough, an unauthorised audiobook using unauthorised film soundtrack is not legal, so if you want to check this out, archive.org hosts a full version just to teach you the error of your ways.

4)Graham Greene – Destructors and Other Short Stories

I really really thought Graham Greene did like… fun thrillers, kind of James Bond-esque… no idea where I got that from. This was a collection of pretty morose stories, but utterly compelling. There was a very charming post-apocalyptic one with kids gathering blackberries and coming across the wreck of a ship from the before times, there was a very weird kind of dark Narnia story about a man going to his childhood home and finding that the vast forest he remembers getting lost in was actually a small patch of brush, the vast lake he remembers sailing across is basically a muddy pond etc… but then starts to find evidence his more fantastical adventures might have been true. May We Borrow Your Husband is a pretty fantastic, if deeply sad, story about repressed homosexuality in the early 20th century, The Destructors is utterly heart-breaking. Annoyingly, the version I had from the library cut off the ends of some stories, so I had to go hunting for the last few sentences.

5)Invisible Man, HG Wells

I always feel a bit of a prat when I read well known, widely agreed upon classics and go “oh wow, this is actually pretty great, has anyone heard of this… Shakespeare guy?” Well here I am again, having just discovered HG Wells. You’re welcome. I absolutely adored War of the Worlds in 2021, Invisible Man isn’t quite as good, but that’s just because of the very high bar. The whole story is set around my neck of the woods, and the depiction of Sussex folk as a bit simple, but utterly intractable reads incredibly true. There’s also this oddly charming balance between the genuine horror of the idea of a violent man wanting to kill you and how hard it would be to defend yourself if he’s invisible, vs the slightly tongue in cheek way that the invisible man declares himself king of the world, but is consistently laid low by obstacles like… gravel.

6) The Time Machine, HG Wells

Another absolute banger. - a quote I expect to see on the cover of the next edition of the Time Machine. This one I had a predisposition to liking, beyond my growing love of HG Wells, as I often feel I might be the only person in the world who watched, and loved, the early 2000's film adaptation. This is another of those early genre books where it just has such fun with what was at the time a completely novel concept. In a hard to define synesthesia type way, this story is the feeling of walking barefoot on the grass.

7)The Two Towers, Tolkien

It’s very hard to judge, but this might be my favourite book of the trilogy (I know, not a book, not a trilogy etc etc). The Treason of Isengard is utterly fantastic, and probably has the most fun in the whole of Tolkien’s work just bouncing around and introducing us to new places and peoples. The Ring Goes East has yet more fantastic setting and characters, and “Frodo was alive, but taken by the enemy” is one of the strongest cliff-hangers I’ve ever seen.

8)Return of the King, Tolkien

There just isn't much to say about LoTR that hasn't been said a million times before. Its absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed reading this around the time of year it's set, there's a strong seasonal theme I'd never picked up before.

9,10,11) The Blade Itself, Before They’re Hanged, and Last Argument of Kings

I’ve combined these three because they it's very much a story in three parts trilogy. I'd always heard Joe Abercrombie dismissed as straightforward shallow grimdark, so I was blown away by this trilogy. It's a fantastic series, some incredible characters. Spoilers - the overall theme is basically what if gandalf was evil, manipulating the world over his incredibly long life, for the greater good. I adore Jezal as an utterly slimy character propped up as a fantasy hero for the sake of a figurehead, and Logan Ninefingers is the richest take on the wandering badass wolverine type character I've seen. I read these ones mostly on psych night shifts, which were lovely for snug on call rooms and long uninterrupted hours.

12) A Game of Thrones

Again, what is there to say that hasn't been said 8 million times. I run an ASOIAF art blog for crying out loud. So this time I'll just comment on the edition I read - the beautiful folio edition. Very luxuriant, very lovely, though I will admit having a separate map instead of it being in the book itself was kind of frustratingly unwieldy.

13) Elric of Melniboné

One of the big classics of fantasy I've always meant to check out. Sadly so far the most compelling part of the collection has been the Neil Gaiman short story used as an introduction! I do enjoy the stories, they just tend to drag a little in the middle. I think the best way I can put it is that if a story says there will be a quest to 7 dungeons, most will either have a twist or a montage after dungeon 3 or 4, so as to not just repeat the same structure the whole time... Elric stories will give you all 7. Theres a lot of great imagery and it reads very well.

14) Redwall

A classic from my childhood I felt like revisiting. It holds up incredibly well, a nice mix of cutesy woodland creatures having supper with very genuine medieval warfare. It reads like a much older book than it is, and I think the reason is that Matthias is a very classical, almost Nietzchean hero - he's not the hero because he's meek or humble, he's the hero because he's competent, well-liked, and, when he needs to be, utterly ruthless and bloodthirsty.

15) The Red Knight, Miles Cameron

I had really mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, it's got some incredibly rich worldbuilding, some great Byronic characters, and the author is a world renowned medieval sword fighter and clearly knows his stuff. On the other hand, they mention in the afterword it was inspired by roleplaying campaigns and I think that shows - a lot of fights for the sake of fights that could have been condensed.

16) Art of Garry Gianni

A fantastic artist who does a lot of ASOIAF artwork. He goes for a very picture-book illustrative style that makes the books feel like a half remembered childhood memory of reading tales of king arthur. He also has a lot of more realistic medieval work ie silly looking hats and hosiery, which does a good job of balancing out the all black leather of the tv show.

17) A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

Clearly I was inspired by the GG artbook!

Lovely as always.

18) The Count of Monte Cristo

Every year, I make great progress in reading lots of books in winter, then as spring starts I get cocky and take on a mammoth book that takes me months. This was this years. I listened to a CC audiobook, which was fantastic, but I only saw 4 parts out of the actual total of 6, so underestimated the overall length. I will say, I thought he was gonna have to really rush his revenge! Again, a hard novel to say anything new about - I loved it. Every single time I read a revenge story I think "I want them all to suffer, I'll never learn that people are complex and revenge ends up hurting innocents and view it in a more nuanced way" and then whaddya know?! I was fairly enjoying it as an "old timey novels ramble a bit sometimes, maybe paid by the word*", but at the end the elements all come back together in a way that gave me chills as I began to see not a word had been wasted.

*I did have a drinking game for every time the exact same life-long description of one character was given, about half a dozen times in one chapter and a few times after. It felt like oral tradition type storytelling.

19) The Hero, Dreamsongs

Okay this is clearly where I panicked about CoMC slowing me down so much and counted short stories as separate. Cheating? Maybe, but the stakes could not be lower. I've bounced off of Dreamsongs a few times as it opens with stories GRRM wrote when he was literally about 6. Which is fascinating from an archival kind of perspective, but doesn't make for the best reads. This is the first of his actually published works, it's about a grizzled space marine type ready to finally retire from the war and see the earth he's been fighting for, who then gets killed by the brass because he's too dangerous to ever actually go back to earth, then written up as a war hero killed in action for further propaganda. Its solid stuff, nothing world shattering, although GRRM did send it in as evidence for his conscientious objector application, so maybe it did change the world!

20) Last Exit to San Breta, Dreamsongs

Basically the question of what would happen to ghost cars in a world where technology has rendered cars obsolete. Again, not revolutionary but very well written.

21) The Second Kind of Loneliness, Dreamsongs

Before each group of stories in dreamsongs, GRRM does a bit of a retrospective. He describes this one as where he really got started and some of his finest work... I dint know if it was just the raised expectations, but it was probably my least favourite. Similar to Moon in some ways, it has someone working at a hyperspace gate counting down to the supply ship coming to relieve him, then panicking as it misses the deadline. As his mental state declines we learn he took this lonely job out of building anxiety after a romantic rejection, and eventually that this panic caused him to destroy the supply ship before the story started and reset his memory, and that this loop may have happened before. Which has some good bones, especially as a parable of incels and the internet, but it does have some feelings of nice guy-ness that isn't just the narrator but the story itself.

22) With Morning Comes Mistfall

On the other hand, I loved this one, which I get the impression is not the most highly rated. Essentially there's a holiday resort planet, it's got pretty lovely mountains and forests, but its main draw is rumours of spectral ghost-like beings. Scientists come to investigate, find that it's all bullshit, people stop coming and the resort fails. It sounds pretty humdrum, and relies on the "mean scientist dislikes enthusiasm and imagination" trope which I hate, but it really sells the love the resort host has for his planet, and the heartbreak of his passion being destroyed. Again in a post internet world, the idea that the planet has beautiful mountains, forests, and seas, but no one would visit for just those because there are planets with perfect sea, perfect mountains, or perfect forests feels very powerful.

23) Song for Lya, Dreamsongs

Another one where high expectations maybe hurt it a bit. A very solid fantasy story about the question of would you go into a state of permanent absolute bliss where you achieve nothing, or stay in real life with ups and downs... or as philosophers call it, the box full of porn and nitrous problem. It was absolutely good, but I've often heard it cited by ASOIAF fans as the best thing ever and it just... wasnt, for me.

24) Tower of Ashes, Dreamsongs

This one fell fairly flat. Quite nice guy-ish in a not fully intentional way, quite intriguing setting but not especially explored.

25) 7 times never kill man, Dreamsongs

This might be my favourite of the lot. Scary space marine death religion comes up against little ewok type creatures, the protagonist tries to train the ewoks up, 7 samurai style, and then... the ewoks/ the planet-wide consciousness is able to manipulate the death cult religion into becoming a suicide cult, and possibly every religion in the galaxy was seeded by this planet as an immune response style defence against potential attackers? If I'm remembering right? Genuinely creepy and haunting, I kept mulling this one over for a long long time. This is basically the gritty reboot of James Cameron's Avatar, way ahead of time.

26) Stone City, Dreamsongs

Another that didnt massively work for me, nothing terrible and some cool concepts, but just didnt really spark anything for me personally.

27) Bitterblooms, Dreamsongs

Another major contender for my favourite of the collection. A LOT of ASOIAF DNA in this one, with decade long winters roamed by the undead, X of House Y titles, a lot of familiar names. The story itself has a sort of twisted Doctor Who plot, a person from the ASOIAF-esque planet finds a spaceship, and is seemingly whirled around the galaxy on an adventure but can only look out the window from within the ship, eventually it turns out the ship is broken down and hasn't moved, and they were just watching record logs on the windows.

28) Princess and Mr Whiffle, Patrick Rothfuss

I took a break from Dreamsongs to read... a short story by an acclaimed fantasy author with a long delayed finale to their subversive fantasy epic! This is a fun book, with a good reading by Rothfuss on youtube, I'd thoroughly recommend. It seems like a slightly dark childrens story, then turns out to be a very dark regular story. It's worth watching the youtube reading as he also explains his thought process, honestly it's made me a little less optimistic regarding kkc as it has a slight vibe of a "technically I didnt lie to you" twist...

29) Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice

I've spent a good part of my life goth-adjacent, I grew up on Buffy and have a real love for all things vampire, so this was always on my horizon. I was put off by Anne Rices whole... vibe online, and everything I heard about "well by book 17, it's mostly about the war between the Atlanteans and Hell". I cant speak for any of that, but the first book was everything its hyped up to be. Lovely slow moody southern gothic. From everything I know about Anne Rice's personal politics, I do wonder if shes one of those authors who sort of backed into being a queer icon by trying to depict the worst thing she could imagine, that being just... a queer relationship.

30) Hamnet, Maggie O'Farrell

This was one of those very book club type books you see everywhere for a while... I didn't love it. The idea is to tell the #feministretelling of Shakespeare's life by focusing on his wife, and what she went through when their son Hamnet died and he wrote a play called Hamlet. The issues are: a) it buys into the whole witchy cottagecore vibe with Anne Hathaway being pretty explicitly descended from the Fair Folk and having magic healing powers, which I think shoots the whole 'women were an important part of history and deserve to have their stories told' stone dead, as it suggests said stories are so boring they need literal elf magic to make them worth telling; and b) that it still fundamentally fails in that I spent most of the book going "wonder what old Billy boy's up to" the scraps we get of him are way more interesting.

31) Sherlock Holmes, The Empty House

The other big short story selection I read this year - most of the SH bibliography. I didnt realise until starting out that the vast majority of SH was short stories, and there were only 4 full length novels. The only one I'd read prior was Hound of the Baskervilles. I'll touch on the stories briefly then give a longer wrap up.

Not sure why I started with this one, it's the one where SH comes back to life after the Reichanbach falls. I don't know if there was a lower bar for what counted as mysterious back then, but basically: the guy is found with a bullet in his head in a locked room. The window is open. No one heard a shot. It turns out... he was shot through the window with a silencer. Like... I get ACD was practically writing under duress, but it feels pretty fucking phoned in.

32) SH, The Devils Foot

Again, the mystery here is: 3 people are found in a room, 2 insane and 1 dead, having been left perfectly well. The solution: theres a magical mushroom from Darkest Africa™ that makes people insane or die when burned and inhaled. I don't know if I'm coming at SH with the wrong attitude, but I continued to find the 'mysteries' pretty underwhelming. This one gets 1 bingo point for 'never previously described technology/item from The Colonies™ that solves the whole mystery but has never previously been established" (see the silenced air gun in the empty house actually), but also wins a point for "Sherlock decides the murderer is a pretty legit dude and just let's him go".

33) SH Abbey Grange

Another with the "Sherlock decides the murderer is a pretty legit dude and just let's him go" plot - honestly my favourite part of reading Sherlock Holmes, and very interesting to compare to modern copoganda shows with their "cool motive, still murder" attitude, especially as so many police procedural end with "well, you were right to fight against the wildly unjust system, but you did a crime so we have to arrest you. Deal with the unjust system? Nah, not my department mate "

34) SH The Speckled Band

The mystery: 2 heiresses live with their evil uncle. One dies in the room next to his, her last words "the speckled band". The other is moved into the same room and fears she'll be killed next. Sherlock finds that the bed is bolted in place directly under a vent joining to the uncle's room. It turns out the uncle pushed a venomous snake through the vent.

That's not a fucking mystery!!! I'm not even a big whodunnit person, but if you have heiresses killed, obviously their last living relative is doing it. Also the story spends the whole time telling you he's evil through details like "he let's romani travellers stay on his land"... oh yeah, this story hella racist. So maybe it's not meant to be a whodunnit but more of a howdunnit... except the second you hear "she died in the room next to his, then he moved me to that room, and theres a vent in the adjoining wall"... there's no mystery! The snake is a nice orientalist touch, but wouldn't be fundamentally different to evil mushroom gas or anything else. Incidentally she said "the speckled band", describing the drake's characteristic feature, as her last words instead of "uncle murdered me" or "snake vent, beware!" because [explanation not found].

It also gets a bingo point for "needlessly dark John Watson framing device that renders the whole story pointless" - it opens with "I can now tell this story because the last living person involved in it is now dead" - the sister they saved is the only survivor, so I guess after all that she just got his by a fuvking bus or something.

So at this point I thought, boy, this is unfortunate, 64 sherlock holmes stories, of course there would be some stinkers, what are the odds I'd exclusively pick them. So i looked it up. The speckled band is considered the best sherlock holmes story, ACDs favourite, critically acclaimed. At this point, it's safe to say I'm just not clicking with Sherlock Holmes.

35) Meathouse Man, Dreamsongs

In a dystopian future, neural mindlinks are used to make corpses into cheap labour, with one person puppeteering several corpses in dangerous environments. The corpses are also used as sex workers.

So yeah, it's pretty nasty. It's got some great dystopian imagery of giant industrial machines strip mining whole planets, and it Mark's the point where GRRM starts to really interrogate some of his nice guy-isms into dark, insightful takes on toxic masculinity.

36) Hound of the Baskervilles

As I said, this was the only SH I'd previously read, and I remembered it being pretty good! That had been when I was a kid, and all these short stories had sucked so bad... was I just misremembering? Fortunately, no! HotB is exactly what you want from a Sherlock Holmes story, great setting, cast of possible suspects all of whom are more than they appear... this is one of those cases where the best known work is best known for a reason.

37) A Study in Scarlet, SH

Decided to see if it was just a case of SH novels > short stories, and read the first novel. The first half or so is pretty classic SH fare, with a London murder, mysterious clues written in blood, footprint analysis etc etc and then... the entire 2nd half of the novel is a fucking western. We get the whole life story of a guy in a wagon train, sets up a life with Mormons, gets hunted down by murderous mormon death squads... and then in the last 2 pages, we jump back to London with a "and that's why he murdered this guy". Love it. I genuinely checked a few times to make sure I hadnt got a messed up copy of the book spliced with Mormon Murder Cowboys.

38) Arthur and the Seeing Stone, Kevin Crossley-Holland

The first of a wonderful trio of arthurian novels. They contrast the mythological arthur with a historically accurate young noble called Arthur in ~1200, with parallels between the mythological arthur and his counterpart that serve to highlight the historical context for the arthurian mythos and why these stories mattered to people. They're ostensibly childrens books and I first read them as a kid, but there's a lot of value to an adult reread.

39) The Final Problem, SH

The one where ol Holmes-y dies. Its shocking the extent to which ACD was clearly just ready to be done. Sherlock pops up, says "btw all of our cases were masterminded by an evil genius, I've never mentioned him before but he's so bad that it wouldnt be the worst thing if I died fighting him" and then whaddya know! It's very fun to me because I remember the trend of superhero comics killing off their heroes and the exact same writing tropes were in play - I've never mentioned this before but I have a really ultra mega serious nemesis.

40) Valley of Fear, SH

Another of the full length Holmes novels, and weirdly enough has the same structure - half a pretty standard SH mystery, second half a shockingly long largely unrelated story in America that leads to a 2 page "and that led into this mystery" denouement. It also has Moriarty awkwardly shoehorned into the story to retcon him into being a serious threat, which it does by some other top class SH bingo tropes - Watsons narration ending with "oh btw, the characters of this story fell off a ship like 4 months later".

41) Elric, Fortress of the Pearl - Moorcock

I'm starting to worry Elric might just not be for me. Theres some fun stuff in here, and a very conan-esque vibe. The issues are that of the 2 I've read, Elric is such a powerful character that the only route to drama is having him be suicidal apathetic until he's almost done for, then suddenly snapping to and fighting back out of the abyss. Secondly, I've mentioned before that Moorcock is not one to cut corners. There are 7 or 9 or 12 magical dream realms described to traverse, so he traverses them each in turn. There's no deviation from this pattern once its planned out, just plodding on through.

42) Beyond the Deepwoods, Paul Stewart & Chris Riddell

The 1st of the Edge Chronicles, a series I read piecemeal bits of when I was a kid and always stayed with me. Extremely creative and grotesque, with lots of bulbous and oozing creatures brought to life by Riddells signature style. This first book has a very fairytale structure with the protagonist essentially running into some new creature each chapter and escaping by the skin of his teeth. This gives it a lovely simplicity, the later books get a bit more into fantasy worldbuilding which has pros and cons.

43) Smoke and Mirrors, Neil Gaiman

Collection of short stories, if I was being consistent these should be separate like the GRRM and Sherlock Holmes ones but it's my list. Also some of these were like 2 pages and I couldn't justify counting that to myself.

Chivalry - one of Gaimans best known, a little old lady finds the grail at a charity shop, Galahad tries to get it off her. I liked it more this time around, but I still find the old lady a bit too mean.

The disappearance of miss finch - this is one my favourite of the many many Gaiman stories of "you go to a circus/magic show and it turns out to be real" - this one gets the balance of the person "deserving" it better, and a pleasant impression they're happier for it after all.

Bay Wolf - probably my favourite of the collection. Beowulf as a futuristic noir detective episode of baywatch. Grendel is a steroid junkie called Grand Al. Top notch stuff.

Murder Mysteries - another fantastical noir detective story, this time about an angel created to solve the first murder. Manages to combine classic noir elements with theological questions shockingly deftly.

Snow Glass Apples - one of my absolute favourite Gaiman stories. Theres a tumblr post that makes the rounds every few years about "hey snow white is deathly pale with ruby red lips and spends a long time seemingly dead in a coffin before waking... vampire?" and every time I dutifully comment that this exact story exists and is fantastic.

44 Stormchaser

Book 2 of the deepwoods books, this is where the series turns more towards steampunk fantasy worldbuilding. On the plus side, this is fascinating well written world, on the other... it's pretty fucking grim. Which is weird to say about a series written for children, but its genuinely quite depressing. Poverty, exploitation, mutilation etc... I had to take a break after this trilogy as there was a repeating pattern of introducing a likeable memorable crew of misfits and outcasts, then killing them all off one by one.

45 Midnight over Sanctphrax

This one is less grim in itself, but it ends with a "and the adventure continues" hook, and I remember from the sequel books that it continues into misery, despair, and most of the cast dying of dysentery. Again - grim!

46) Into The Narrowdark, Tad Williams

Book 3 of the new Osten Ard series. One of the best fantasy books I've read since ASOIAF. There was a part where I couldn't stop reading until I discovered one characters fate, even though that was about 400 pages. There was a reveal that made me swear at the book and walk away, just to come straight back.

47) This is How You Lose the Time War

A very fun short novel about opposite agents of battling time travelling agencies who start to write each other encoded gloating messages (encoded in the rings of wood of a tree one agent will cut down to build Genghis Khans trebuchets to change history, for example), and gradually fall in love. Very poetic and beautifully written.

48) Fire and Blood, GRRM

Gave this one another read, inspired by how much I enjoyed HotD. I think the first read I went in with very low expectations which gave it an edge, this time around I knew it wouldnt be terrible so less of a pleasant surprise and I noticed more of the... issues. That said, HotD showed me how some of the seemingly flat characters can actually be rich and nuanced. One in particular I wonder about is Jahaerys, who makes a lot of sense as a potentially great person with rot at the foundations - if he knows that at some level he only has power by usurping his cool lesbian sister, all his misogyny makes sense as a retroactive justification. Because honestly on this reread, he seemed like a Shittier dude than Maegor.

49) Fairy Tale, Stephen King

A take on the Narnia style portal fantasy by the one and only Stephen King. This was a thoroughly enjoyable read, not necessarily a world shaking masterpiece but recaptured the feeling of being a kid and getting utterly engrossed in a story. You can definitely tell Kings age by how he writes his teenage protagonist - he conveniently only watches the classic movie channel so can only quote films from Kings reference pool, there's some pretty realistic sections of him doing home repair by watching youtube videos but keeps calling it The Tube... its very sweet and endearing. As is classic with King, he's so good at writing day to day life you almost dont want the fantasy elements to start, but once they do they're so fun you wished they'd shown up sooner.

50) Arthur at the Crossing Place

Book 2 of the seeing stone trilogy. The trilogy is fairly classic 2 part trilogy, with part 1 working as a very standalone novel, while part 2 is mostly set up for part 3. However, theres a lot of good material, lovely prose, and well worth reading.

51) Dracula (daily) Bram Stoker

A certified 2022 phenomenon. This was a huge amount of fun, parcelling out Dracula chronologically, letting a whole fandom form, having dramatic long hiatus and bursts of action. I also love matching stories to their chronology, as I mentioned with LOTR, which would be very suited to this same format. I've read dracula before, this definitely enhanced my enjoyment. In my memory theres a real drop after the Jonathan Harker diary, but this format a) acknowledged that by having the long hiatus and b) overcomes that and makes the latter part of the story feel much more significant.

52) Arthur King of the Middle March

The third part of the trilogy. This one focuses on the disastrous Fourth Crusade, where half the people who had RSVPd didnt show up, leaving the ones who did with an enormous bill for more ships than they could use, which Venice agreed they could pay off by attacking Venices enemies... who were other Christians. This allows the conceit of contrasting the real world chivalry knights with the idealised Arthurian round table to come to a head, fantastically showing the moral decay and sense of stagnation as they occupy and loot their ostensible brothers in christendom. The book came out in 2003, but has incredibly on point vibes of the Iraq war as a whole... although I suppose the issue here is that the crusaders never even reached the middle east.