#this is a hard choice but i went with margo

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter seventy five

close to home | chapter seventy five

plot: Daryl breaks a promise, and the reader goes after him

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 4,050 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd A/N: I've been on such a reading kick lately

The following days were a blur. After your panic attack, Daryl kept an eye on you. After your delirium from the waves of fighting walkers passed, you joined in with the rest of the community. You were doing better. And you were sure it was because of Daryl picking you over the community, even though it made you feel guilty. 

Despite the days moving quickly, they were long. Lydia was attacked, and Margo was accidentally killed by Negan. You and Daryl thought Negan was right but couldn’t do anything about it. Then the Whisperers attacked Hilltop, though there wasn’t any real proof. And Michonne took off with Judith to assist them. You stayed back to watch over RJ. Eugene left too after what happened with Rosita--which she happily told you while you and she hung out with your daughters. 

Daryl went with Carol to look for Alpha’s horde, which you fought him every step of the way. But you needed to know about the horde, and he promised he would stay on your side of the border. You believed him until they came back with a Whisperer. You wanted to throw him off a cliff for lying to you, but when you found out it was all Carol, your anger dissipated. You knew she wasn't in a good place. You’d found the pills. 

But then the Whisperer died. And then Siddiq was killed by Dante, and you and Daryl sat with Josie the entire night. He’d helped deliver her. If Dante wasn’t already dead, you would’ve killed him yourself for ever touching Josie. 

Then, a freak named Mary showed up and told Alexandria where the horde was if she got to see Earle’s son. And Lydia went missing after something happened with Carol. And if all that wasn’t the worst of it, finding Daryl’s note was. 

Gonna end this. I’m sorry. I love you. Don’t come looking for me. 

Well, you did exactly that. 

***

“You stupid son of a bitch,” You nearly yelled, throwing your bow down beside the fire. You didn’t care that you had an audience or the surprised--and then very angry--look that crossed your husband's features. 

“What the hell are ya doin’ here?”

“You taught me how to track, dumbass! Don’t you think I know how to track you, of all people?” You seethed. Your bag was heavy on your shoulders, and you dropped it. “You didn’t think I would come after you? Do you have any idea how stupid this is?”

Daryl grabbed your arm and pulled you a good fifteen feet away from the small camp, and you pulled your arm free after a few seconds. 

“Who has Josie?”

“Rosita.” You glared. “Why, Daryl? After everything that’s happened the past few days.”

“‘Cause I can’ stand lookin’ at ya during all this shit. I can’ stand knowin’ ya lookin’ over ya shoulder for Alpha. I want her dead.”

You crossed your arms. “I want her dead too, but you don’t just walk out like that. How would you like it if I did that?”

“I’d drag ya back by ya ass if ya did.”

“Exactly. We’re a team, Daryl. Since the beginning. Since the damn night we met and we fought our way back to my safehouse. I don’t appreciate this.”

Daryl sighed angrily. “Well, ya here now. Exactly where I didn’ want ya.”

“Josie needs her father.”

“She needs her mother, too.”

Your hard glare dropped. “She needs both of us, Daryl.”

His own anger seemed to deflate, and he nodded slowly. “‘M sorry. Just want this over.”

“I know. So do I. But we work better together, and you know that. So let’s find this mother fucking horde and get home to our daughter.”

Daryl shook his head, but it wasn’t like he had any other choice. “Can’ believe ya fuckin’ followed me out here.” He swung his arm around your shoulder and kissed your forehead. You closed your eyes at the embrace. 

“Well, next time don’t be such a dumbass and I won’t have to.”

***

The next day, you found the valley that the horde was supposed to be in. But it was empty, and you didn’t know if you were happy about it or pissed off. Everyone seemed to be the latter, but it wasn’t something you had to worry about this exact second.

You’d only walked about a mile before you came across a river, and Daryl thought Lydia would’ve followed it. You were set to keep following him when you turned back and noticed Carol had stopped by a tree. You inwardly sighed--you couldn’t keep up with her lately, no matter how hard you tried to be there for her. 

“Carol, let’s go,” You called out to her. You knew Daryl was behind you when you felt his hand brush against your backside. 

“You guys go ahead. I’ll meet you.”

“We should stay together,” You said, but she was already walking toward a small field about twenty yards away. 

You glanced at Daryl, sharing an exhausted expression, and followed after her. When she started running, you looped your bow over your shoulder and picked up the pace, a train of obscenities being muttered under your breath. 

You were breathless when you came to a trench, a few dead walkers on the ground. Daryl was fighting off a few walkers, and he looked at you for only a second. “Go, get her ass outta there!”

Magna pushed you forward, and you jumped into the trench and pulled yourself out of it, running toward the opening toward whatever structure was ahead. You were going to kill Carol. 

It was dark and much cooler in the structure than it was outside, and you paused beside Magna momentarily. But then you heard Carol scream and you quickly ran after her. 

“Carol!” You yelled. 

“Oh, shit,” Magna cursed, grabbing onto your arm. The weight of her body pulled you forward, and your feet slipped. 

You screamed as you dropped a good ten feet, landing on rock. You didn’t have time to focus on your vision before your body rolled. You tasted blood in your mouth as you fell from another ledge and landed harshly on the rock below. You heard your friends landing around you as well. 

“Mother fucker,” You cursed, spitting out blood as you rolled over onto your side. Your back ached, and your lip was bleeding from where you must’ve bitten down on it. 

“Are you okay?” 

You glanced at Carol, who was dusting her shirt off. She helped you up as you replied, “Just peachy.” 

You heard your name echoing from above, and you thanked God that Daryl was still up there. “Daryl, don’t come down--.”

You cringed as you heard your husband fall and took a step back when you saw him come down. He landed with a groan, and you were immediately kneeling by his side. “You alright?”

“Ya bleedin’,” He said, using his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth. 

“I’m okay,” You said, standing and helping him to his feet. 

You set your hands on your waist as you looked around the cave, trying your best to ignore the groans of walkers below you. You cursed under your breath and grabbed Daryl’s hand as Jerry yelled for everyone’s attention. You looked over to where he pointed, and that was when you saw Alpha. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as memories of the barn filled you, and you took a step backward. Daryl squeezed your hand and pulled you closer to him. You could’ve sworn you could feel the tip of her knife dragging across your arms again. 

There was a lump in your throat as you looked back at Daryl. “Just take a breath.” He told you. 

Nodding, you did as he asked and looked back to where Alpha was, but she was gone. You took another deep breath and looked at Aaron, who was against the wall you fell from. 

“Okay, maybe we can get back up,” Aaron said. “If we can get one of you women up there…”

It was a no-go. They tried to lift each and every one of you, but none of you could get a grip. Besides, the wall beyond that was too high. 

So you grabbed Daryl’s flashlight and looked around for any other way out of the damn cave. Water was running in from somewhere, and Daryl and Aaron were discussing how to get out of there. You noticed a chain of boulders that looked close enough to jump to, and they stretched across to the other side. 

“Shine the light for me over there for me,” You handed the flashlight to Daryl. 

“What are ya thinkin’?” Daryl asked but shined where you pointed. 

You didn’t reply and took a few steps back. Without a word, you ran the few steps to the ledge and jumped. Daryl immediately yelled after you as you landed on the first boulder, your knees buckling under the weight of your bag and weapon. But your boots were steady, and you stood straight up. 

“(Y/N), are you crazy?” Carol yelled. 

“Yeah, but she on to somethin’,” Daryl said. He pointed the light to the rock in front of you, and you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you jumped again. 

You climbed around the formation, feeling wisps of fingertips touching your boots and back legs. But they couldn’t grab you. You glanced back at Daryl, who was following closely behind you. You looked back at the ground, who were all looking a little unsure. 

You kept moving, getting to the next boulder. It was there that you paused and took a deep breath and turned when Daryl called your name. He tossed you the flashlight, and you caught it one-handed, shining the light so he could get to you. 

“Knew I called ya crazy woman for a reason,” Daryl said when he was standing beside you. His arms were on either side of you, effectively pinning you to the boulder so there wasn’t a chance you’d fall or slip. 

“Gotta keep our relationship interesting, huh?” You gently teased, though you were sweating profusely and wanted to bang your head against the rock itself. “Starting to wish I never found your note, though.”

“One more jump, baby girl. Let me go first. I can help ya,” Daryl said. 

You wanted to roll your eyes and tell him that you’d been perfectly fine, but you knew he was only doing it because he loved you and because he was scared for you. So you shined the light onto the cave wall, with just enough room to jump onto. 

When he was on the other side, you tossed him the light and then jumped yourself. His arms were around your waist, and he pulled you tightly against his chest. You could feel his hands shaking as he urged you forward while he waited to help everyone else. 

You watched from a safer place as the rest of the group slowly made their way to the other side, and then you sighed with relief when everyone was over safely. Then you followed Daryl through a tunnel, your hand gripping tightly to the back of his vest.

When you reached a larger area, Daryl dug out his matches and handed you a few. While he told Connie to keep everyone, you lit the match and walked slowly, trying to find a cross breeze. 

You tuned out the conversation happening behind you as you glanced at Daryl. You paused momentarily, admiring his form and the pull of his arms as he held up the match. Shaking your head, you turned around and got back to work. 

“Pst.”

You walked over to Daryl and watched the flame find wind. You smiled and looked up at him. “Nice job, sexy.”

Daryl grunted and put the match out. “Nice thinkin’ with the jumpin’. Gonna have to curse ya out later for it, though.”

You stood on your toes to give him a quick and private--thanks to the boulders--kiss. “You’re welcome for saving your life for the thousandth time.”

***

About an hour later, you sat against a rock wall with your heavy head on Daryl’s shoulder. A half-empty skin of water lay between you two, and you had long since intertwined your fingers. 

Daryl’s thumb was absentmindedly rubbing against your hand while he chewed on his other thumb, and no matter how many times you swatted it away, it was there again in a few minutes. 

“So,” You whispered low enough so nobody would hear. “Ever wanna do it in a cave?”

Daryl snorted. 

“We could find some dark corner,” You teased. 

“Ya ain’ quiet enough, darlin’.”

You smiled and squeezed his hand momentarily before kissing his shoulder. You looked up in time to see Carol headed toward you. “I’ll let you two talk,” You said. You knew very well of the tension between them since everything happened with Lydia and just in general. She hadn’t been the same since she got off the boat, and you knew Daryl was missing his friend. 

Carol smiled as you passed her, and you walked over to where Jerry was sitting. You smiled widely despite how tired, hot, and sweaty you were. “Jerry, my main squeeze,” You collapsed beside him, setting your bow aside. “How are you holding up?”

The two of you murmured, swapping stories of your children. It was the only thing that kept you from falling apart. Getting back to Josie. You would be damned if you let anything keep you from seeing your daughter. 

You’d just settled into a nice silence when you heard Magna screaming ‘skins’. You were on your feet immediately, grabbing your bow and getting an arrow ready. With hardly any light in the cave system, your fingers twitched in anticipation as you followed Jerry toward Magna. 

Rounding the corner, you only had a second to see Magna fighting off a freak when another one dropped before you. They swung their arm at you, and you jumped backward, dropping your bow in favor of the machete at your hip. You ducked underneath their next swing and drove your knife up into their stomach, lifting it as high as you could. Then, with a swift pull, you yanked it to the side. 

Warm guts hit your boots, and the freak dropped dead just in time for another one to approach you. Before they could make the first move, a knife embedded itself in the back of their skull, and when the body fell, Daryl grabbed your arm and handed you your bow. 

In the distance, you could see the last of the freaks running off. You nodded your head toward it, and Daryl yelled for everyone to follow. 

You ran for a good few minutes before you lost the figures, and everyone around you needed to stop. You took a deep breath and wiped your sweat from your forehead. You lowered your bow and slung it over your shoulder. 

When Jerry found an arrow, you all decided to follow it. If freaks got in, then you could get out. So you followed the arrows until you reached a gap in the wall, and Daryl picked up their trail. You watched anxiously as your husband walked through the tight funnel, and you kept an arrow in your bow in case something happened. 

After a few minutes, he gave the signal, and you were the first one to follow him. You fit through the tunnel easily and caught up to Daryl within thirty seconds. You grabbed the back of his vest again until he reached behind you and took your hand in his. 

***

“How ya doin’?”

“Oh, I’m just snug as a bug,” You retorted, pulling your body forward in a painful army crawl. You could feel your jeans rip over a particularly sharp rock, and you bit your lip to stifle a colorful choice of words. 

You focused on the light above you and the bottoms of Daryl’s boots. It was the only thing keeping you from freaking out. You weren’t claustrophobic by any means, but the idea of being sandwiched between tons of rock and who knows how far underground made you want to cry. 

Still, you were doing better than Carol. 

You wanted to cry with happiness when you saw Daryl pull himself out of a hole and then shine his flashlight toward you. “Hand up ya bow first. Gonna be a tight fit.”

“That’s what she said,” You laughed humorlessly as you struggled to get the bow off you and then send it up toward your husband. You could just barely make out the glare he sent you, and then you actually did laugh. 

His hands wrapped around your wrists, and he helped pull you the rest of the way out. When your feet were on the ground and you were finally standing upright, you threw your arms around him and kissed him. 

When you parted, you grabbed your bow. “Don’t act like you don’t like my jokes.”

“Ya got jokes all damn day, every day, since the damn prison.” He replied, shining the light back into the hole, where you could see Kelly slowly making her way. 

You smiled and leaned against the rock, reaching out to pinch his ass. Daryl jumped and smacked your hand away, which made you laugh. 

“Can’ ya ever take anythin’ seriously?”

Your smile widened, and you shook your head. “Gotta try and keep my mind off of our impending deaths for a little while.”

“Ya ain’ dyin’. ‘M gettin’ us home to Josie.” 

***

When the tunnels led you all to an old mining setup, and after you found Alpha’s horde, you sighed with relief. It meant that there was an exit. And you’d see the sky soon. 

So when Daryl found the sun streaming through the ground above you, everyone jumped at once to start clearing a path to dig out of there. But nothing made you more nervous than Kelly finding dynamite, and you prayed that nothing bad would happen. 

“Ya seen Carol?”

You looked up from the pile of rocks you and Connie were moving, and you shook your head. “I thought she was with you guys.”

“‘Mma look for her, ya stay here and keep workin’.”

You hesitated but nodded. She couldn’t have gone off far, and Daryl wouldn’t leave you for long. So after he squeezed your forearm, he went to find her. 

You’d only been working with Connie for a few more minutes before you heard an explosion, and everything around you started to shake. Dirt fell into your eyes, and you cursed loudly, stumbling backward before someone grabbed you. Fingers worked at your eyes, and when you opened them, you saw Connie signing to you. 

Are you okay?

Yes.

“Come on!”

You grabbed your flashlight and shined down the tunnel where Daryl had gone, but you couldn’t see a damn thing. “Son of a bitch,” You muttered before you walked forward. 

An arm wrapped around yours, and you were pulled back by Magna and Connie. “What are you doing?”

“They could be hurt,” You stressed. “I’m not leaving my husband down here or Carol.” You pulled your arm away from Magna’s and took off. You knew they followed you by the sound of their boots, but you didn’t stop. 

When you saw the glow of a lantern, you nearly cried and ran up to Daryl and Carol; the ladder hurt. You wrapped an arm around her waist and helped Daryl get her back to where your exit was. 

“Aaron and Kelly, we got freaks up there!” Jerry strained as he tried to keep the post up. 

“You need to go up first. She can’t climb out!” You yelled to Daryl. When you saw the hesitation on his face, you yelled louder, “Go, dammit! You need to pull her out.”

Dirt was spilling from everywhere, and you coughed loudly as you pushed Carol up. She struggled, and Magna had to help you push her until Daryl had her. 

As you strained, you saw movement in the distance. “Freaks!” You yelled. 

You heard Magna curse loudly. You glanced at the hole above your head, where you could see Daryl getting Carol out. Then you looked at Jerry, who was struggling with holding the post. 

You took a deep breath and wrapped your hand around your machete. Then you ran after Magna, toward the freaks. 

There was barely any light, and you struggled as dirt continued to rain down on you. But you could see figures, and you swiped your machete at each one. Tears burned your eyes from the dirt, and you felt warm blood spray on your face. 

“Get out of here!” Magna screamed. 

You saw her go down, and you quickly stabbed one of the freaks in the head before running over to her. Connie was struggling toward you, weapons raised. But she was signing something you couldn’t see, and you helped Magna. 

The ground shook before you heard the explosion. The ceiling was coming down, and wooden beams were falling. You couldn’t see Magna or Connie through the cloud of dirt. The last thing you heard was the sound of Magna’s screams. 

***

Daryl squinted in the sunlight as he dragged Carol’s body backward. She was nearly unconscious, and Daryl knelt down for a moment, shaking her head. When her eyes blinked slowly, and she nodded, he took a second to look for you before he stood up and ran back over to the hole in the ground. 

“(Y/N)?” He yelled, watching Aaron pull someone up from the hole. His stomach twisted in a knot when he saw it was Jerry he was pulling up. “Where’s (Y/N)? Why didn’ ya send her up first?” He yelled as Aaron helped get Jerry out. 

The ground started shaking, and Daryl’s eyes widened as he realized what it was. “(Y/N)!” He made a beeline for the open hole. 

“Daryl!” Aaron yelled, throwing himself against Daryl’s body and sending them rolling down the hill. 

Shards of rock blasted up from the ground and rained around the group. Daryl covered his head as he struggled against Aaron. When the ground settled, and Aaron let him go, his knees went weak. 

“No!” He screamed, running toward the pile of rocks. “(Y/N)!” He climbed over the debris, and when he saw the cratered hole the explosion left, when he knew the roof had collapsed, he sank down to his knees to dig through the debris. 

He could barely hear Kelly crying; he could barely hear himself crying and grunting with the weight of each rock he threw as he dug. 

“Daryl…”

“We gotta dig!” He yelled. “She’s down there, we gotta get her out.” 

“Daryl… it’ll take us a week to dig this.”

“Then help me!” Daryl screamed. “That’s my fuckin’ wife down there.”

“We can’t,” Kelly yelled through thick tears. “This blast is going to call walkers and Whisperers from a hundred miles from here. We don’t want our backs pressed up against this mountain when they come. We can’t save them if we’re dead!” 

Daryl stared at the pile of rocks as tears fell from his eyes. You couldn’t be dead. You couldn’t be dead. He repeated it over and over in his head. And then his grief, his desperation, turned into white, hot rage. 

He walked away slowly and looked at Carol. 

“Go ahead and say it to me. I deserve it.” Carol cried. 

Daryl’s mind couldn’t even think of a response. All he could see was red. All he could feel was a level of anger that he’d never experienced before. 

“Just say it to me,” Carol said. “That’s (Y/N) down there. Our (Y/N). Your (Y/N). Just say it.”

He could see the desperation on her face. The guilt. The self-hatred. His jaw quivered in anger as he thought about you down there, about you being dead.

And then he found his voice. 

“If she dead, it’s on you,” He stressed. “And you will be dead to me.”

[punkeropercyjackson]

The contrast between my relathionship hcs for Ghostpunk vs Flowerbyte:

Gwen is a biracial lightskin afrolatina because Hobie obvs should be black4black and GWEN should be black and they actually ended up having pretty good chemistry so it all comes together!!They met Bubbline style at one of his concert's where Gwen's autistic ass found him hot as fuck and made an absolute fool of herself but HOBIE'S autistic ass found THAT hot as fuck so he invited her upstage to sing as a ref to that one concept art and they reunited the next day at Spider Society when Gwen ran up to him and introduced herself as the girl from last night since she recognized him as that other kid Jessica also mentors and he was stunned at his Spider Sense not having gone at her but she reached out to unmask him and he smirked as he went to do the same to her,saying 'Eager to see your pretty face again too,Gwendita' and then they get a good look at eachother,link arms and walk along together as they yap and yap on until they're best friends from that day on

The reasons their Spider Senses didn't go off is that they weren't supposed to meet as a romantic reflection to Siblings!Ghost Flower,Hobie and Gwen are soulmates by choice AND by chance and Hobie got Gwen into the political sides of punk so she could really be pastel punk and that was when all her emotional ties to George were cut and Gwen helped Hobie heal his inner child by introducing him to her hobbies and treating him like a real kid because she knows he's earned it after all that adultification trauma and wants to be the one who gives it to him the most.She calls him 'Hubbie' for the obvious pun and 'Gwendita' is spanish for Gwendy but cheesier and they're so on the same tune 24/7 they might as well have been married for infinite lifetimes.They're that 'You had a crush on me?' 'Of course i did.Who wouldn't?' quote mutually and their animal variants are Hobie the land shark and Gwen Catcy

And Flowerbyte is like.Well first of Margo is haitian and transmasc genderfluid but an any pronouns in her bio femme who dosen't want t or surgeries for extra gender fuckery,JOT that down,this is canon™️ and Miles has genders the Spiderverse ain't even invented yet and he's a dreadhead,SO JOT THAT DOWN!!!!!Okay so Spider Sense.Flowerbyte IS a fated love story!!But a fated BLACK love story!In every universe,Miles Morales falls for a black girl but not every black girl gets her Miles Morales.It's a metaphor/commentary on the disposable black girlfriend trope and it's all about uplifting Margo,MILES uplifting Margo but don't get it twisted,she loves and protects him just as much back and she's a fully fleshed out character,not just a martyr.They fit eachother for similar reasons yet opposite Ghostpunk do-They have so much in common but those little differences is what makes them bug out over eachother.They want to UNDERSTAND eachother and they do without even trying because they're already on the same typa beat

Which sounds super poetic and beautiful and ofc it is but also they are so.Fucking goofy ahh about it😭Margo got that no filter followed by instant shame 'tism but he pulls Miles with it every time and they act like those fuckin' lovesick toons around eachother one second but then partners in crime the next no blinking denial denial denial the next and Kessles + Gwobie are the Spidey Core Four as the Atsv mcs so Miles tried to go to Hobie for advice only to freak out the second he got close to asking Margo out and Margo tried to flirt with her by speaking the Animal Crossing villager language not once not thrice but TWICE and Jeffrio shipped them embarrasingly hard because Margo is PERFECT for their girasolito-WHAT THE FUCK??????IT'S MILES G COMING IN WITH THE SHOULDER TOUCH

[neoarchipelago]

HERE’S THE CONTEST’S WINNERS! FUUUUUCK IT WAS SO SO SOOOO HARD TO CHOOSE !

You guys created AMAZING characters it honestly took 2 hours and the help of my Ghost to manage to make a choice!

Thank you so much for your participation you guys make me so happy!!!!

1

Name: Lupus grey

Callname: Grim (6R1M)

Age: in their 20s 

Gender: Non binary, masc leaning

Physical appearance: They have blue greyish eyes, redish/blonde shoulder length hair, they are rather short(about 5'6), slim - not really muscular. They usually cover their face with a fox mask because of a huge face dysphoria(the mask is shown in the mood board), they also have problems expressing their emotions so the mask helps with that

Backstory: Lupus Grey had always hated cold Berlin with its odd, outrageous old buildings. It was a place where they felt anxious but also at home. 

They were a patient, forgetful, coffee drinker with pretty eyes and a slim figure. His friends saw him as "the quite kid". They really were the silent type of person, thinking before using their words. But as soon they got comfortable they got loud and outgoing! 

Lupus had a.. Not so great childhood. Their problems were belittled. They were good at school but never good enough to earn some affection from their parents. They always wanted to become an artist but later found out that they had a talent for hacking too. They used that talent and hacked shady, big companies to force them to their knees. Someday they ended up finding hacker friends- in this case: sparrow!

@muttsstuff

2

Name :Richard

Nickname :Ricky

Code name :Car-Keys

He’s into khaki clothing (gets teased a little) but the main reason was because he lost the car keys in the drain when they were on a mission (was never let down)

Male - Asian Over- weight

Deep voice Loves dying his hair tips different colours (Depends on the mood)

Lives in his parents basement, loves to play MW2 but hacks games to his advantage.

He realised his potential and started broadening his hacking abilities and got rich off it.

Living with his parents is a cover (gotta stay hidden ya know)

@happy-potat0

3

Margo ‘Bishop’ Cassell

Age: 29

Female she/her

•5’6, doesn’t necessarily have a figure but she has “child bearing hips” all grandmas love and point out for some reason. Isn’t considered small but not how society considers “fat” she wears a size 12 pants if that gives an idea. 

•From Kensington Liverpool, grew up with wealthy parents in a slightly religious background. She’s almost the definition of old money yet also getting new money. Was in chess club growing up and also took computer science classes and learned to code, took it a step up by getting into hacking to change a grade for a friend to help them out. Moved on from getting into school grades to other… not so legal information. Promised to not do it again and eventually join British military much to her parents disappointment. 

•I also like the idea of Margo having a kid

•Bishops mood board

@sapchat

4

Name: Elizabeth/Liza

Callsign: coyote

Age: 29

Gender: Female

Physical description: Definetely redhead, and tallish, still shorter a bit than the boys though, slightly chub, so ofc insecure

Backstory: Started hacking cause the government of her home country was so so corrupt, Sparrow found her hacking the same system at the same time so they found her, Lashwell contacting, thy have been working together ever since. After a mission went wrong she was sent to the UK under a fake name for protection, thats how they lost touch for a bit.

@lilacwineandthesinkingsunmain

5

@jp2gmd2137

[moralesmilesanhour]

Thank you for sharing that post on Gwen because I thought it was just me who didn't like that they made her such a big part of Miles story...like this is supposed to be HIS story and HIS journey of being spiderman , he should've been the sole focus and her story should've been it's own seperate thing instead of tying it to his...but it's like you can't say anything because then her stans are gonna come crying about the Gwen hate and her poor white woman pain (and not even focus on what Miles went through or even the hate Margo and Jess get that's far more horrific than what Gwen receives )

Yeah I would've loved a solo Gwen film! I don't hate her, I hate what they chose to do with her story and that's what folks arent getting lol. (long ass post under the cut I tried so hard not to rant but I failed)

The people reducing criticism of the writers' choice to make Gwen SO important on a meta level to "Gwen hate" are honestly missing the point.

Literally everyone in this film has had a rough go at it, but somehow it's always Miles' pain that gets pushed aside whenever it comes to discussions about Gwen or Miguel or whichever nonblack character people have latched onto (I say nonblack bc it's clear people only give a shit about Hobie on a surface level).

Not only does Miles' story suffer (what do we actually know about him and his world beyond "hey look it's Brooklyn" and his issues w his parents?), but hers does too because they shoved all of that information into a series of flashbacks and cuts to her world. As a result, it feels like we don't know enough about either characters' respective relationships.

But the most IMPORTANT part that people like to gloss over is the choice to make a WHITE WOMAN as pivotal to Miles' character development as they did.

Everyone has already said their piece on the betrayal, but I actually want to zoom out a bit.

Like I said before, this movie feels like it wanted to be...something else. From jump, we see that Hobie instantly takes an interest in wanting to protect Miles and steer him away from joining Spider Society because he knows they will not have his best interests in mind.

He is not the only character that goes against Miguel (the FIRST time 🙄) to protect Miles, though.

Margo, the one Black female character in Miles' age group, looks at him while he's running from Miguel and decides to send him home (or what she thought was his home) instead of turning him in.

The movie even tells us that Margo is supposed to be a part of Miles' story too when they first see each other! Why else would she help someone she just met???

What I'm trying to say is, this movie has a ton of racial subtext woven into it. And it CLEARLY wants you to know that. Hobie and Pavitr even share a common hatred for Britain and it's not by accident!

And YET! It's the white characters that get sooo much development and exploration! Even though both Peter B and Gwen end up being the ones that momentarily betray Miles because they have both been convinced that suffering (even preventable suffering) is necessary and central to who Spider-Man is.

Idk my thoughts are so messy lol. I don't hate the movie and i understand that there was a lot of bullshit happening behind the scenes that may have also impacted the story. But there's just so many directions that it could've gone in...? IDK IDK sjfhdksk

My hope for Beyond the Spiderverse is that the movie will take all of these little nuggets that they dropped and give us some pay-off, in order to drive home the idea that:

A) Spider-Man is not defined by his trauma or arbitrary "canon events" (obvious jab at comic book fans lol)

B) Spider-Man is not defined by isolation. He is allowed to have friends and deserves community

Anyways rant over ✌🏾

[rabbit-eclipsed]

HARMONIA

The Prologues: Rapunzel

Margo Gothel was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“Please, Mother!” begged her daughter, Rapunzel (a fitting name, considering her floor length blonde hair). “I’ve seen movies and read books. I already know how school works.”

Rapunzel had just received a letter inviting her to Harmonia, a school for young magic users. The phoenix who had delivered it to the girl watched Gothel with a keen eye. The bird was unmistakably the loyal companion of the school's headmistress, Celestia Alcorn, a high sorceress so powerful she’d been nicknamed the “Princess of Magic.” Truly, she was not to be trifled with.

The truth was, Gothel should have expected something like this to happen. For months, Rapunzel had been receiving letters that Gothel would discretely dispose of before her daughter could even look at them. But they kept coming. And now, the headmistress must have already grown suspicious. She should have written a letter excusing Rapunzel from attending when the first letter had arrived. If she didn't let her go now, the headmistress was sure to go poking her nose where it didn't belong, just like those men that had stolen her precious magical flower had eleven years ago...

She'd been left with no choice. She would have to give up her daughter for the time being.

Gritting her teeth, Gothel sighed dramatically. “Fine. But there are some ground rules you'll have to follow, flower.”

“No letting anyone touch my hair, no going near sharp objects…” Rapunzel began.

“No leaving the school grounds, except to come home. Stay in your dorm as often as possible to stay safe and sound. And remember, my dear, you can write to my whenever you want. If things get too difficult, you can always come back home.”

Gothel was sure that Rapunzel wouldn't last a month. If there was one thing she knew about children, it was that they hated school. It would only be a matter of time until she came running back right into her mother's loving arms. And then she would make sure that Rapunzel never, ever left their home again.

NOTES:

This is more Gothel-centric, I know. But I had to ask myself the question “how in the heck did Rapunzel wind up going to school?” I consider her origins of being sheltered and isolated as being pretty central to her character and growth, so I wasn’t just going to have her living with her real parents. So why would Gothel let her out of the house? Because she’d have to think that she had to. And that’s not a story that’s best told through Rapunzel’s perspective.

I have PLENTY of Rapunzel-centric stuff planned in the future, though!

This chapter is also the first mention of characters outside of the RotBTD canon! Celestia Alcorn is my humanized version of Princess Celestia. So, if you’re wondering how I settled on “Margo” for Gothel’s first name, it’s a play on Claire Keane’s nickname for her in sketches, “MoGo.” “Margo” sounds close enough. While the spelling “Margot” is more popular these days, “Margo” was historically more popular (at least in the US), so that’s the spelling I went with. But if you really want to know, her legal name is just “Margaret.” Margaret Mae Gothel.

The next prologue will be Merida’s.

[burgers-and-french-fries]

~Evan Peters: Sticky Situation.

Note: Hello everyone. This is my very first Evan Peters imagine and I’m excited for you all to read it.

As you can see, I chose to write this in the form of a journal entry. Why? I just wanted to do something different, and this was the product. 

Enjoy!

===

Dear online journal thing, whatever you are.

I really don’t know why the hell I’m doing this but I felt like I had to get this off my chest. Let me just say that my dreams came true today…well kind of anyway. You see, today was the day of the shoot for the playgirl calendar that the male cast members of American Horror Story do around this time every year. Everything was going great but then I found myself in the shower with someone. Who was that someone? You may ask, well, let me go back to the beginning.

I woke up this morning thinking that I had the day off because one of the other Production Assistants, Margo, had been asked to help out with the shoot. So, as I was about to sit down with my breakfast, I got a text from Ryan saying that Margo had called in sick. Naturally, I was annoyed, but it pays the bills, so what choice did I have? I quickly ate and got myself together. When I got there, things were well under way which was fantastic. Ryan even had some fun Halloween music like the Ghostbusters theme playing. He claimed it set the mood and he was right.

Anyway, it eventually came time for Evan Peters to have his photos taken and holy fuck, I swear I had died and gone to heaven. This man is hotter than I imagined. The photographer had Evan practically sprawled out with a Jac-o-lantern between his legs. Did I mention they had Evan completely naked. See, told ya, hot right? My heart was sure racing, and it was hard to ignore how it was making me feel. Thankfully his portion was wrapped up pretty quickly. It was just a shame that he was handed a robe afterwards. I wouldn’t have minded if he walked around naked.

In saying that, I was then asked to help Matt Bomer with his shoot. This involved corn syrup….can you see where I’m going with this? No? Let me continue.

I had to cover Matt’s chest with the sticky shit and when I went back to the spot I had been standing in, one of the photographer’s assistants bumped into me hard enough for me to stumble and spill the syrup down the front of myself. It was disgusting and if I never see that crap again, it will be too soon.

She was very sweet about it and kept apologizing but she was alright. Evan though, he noticed and tried to help me clean it up. It wasn’t working though, and I had to take my clothes off.  Now, this is where my dreams came true.

Evan fucking Peters removed his robe and wrapped it around me so that I didn’t have to walk around with no clothes. The only thing, he was standing directly in front of me….stark naked…..I don’t think he realized what the hell he’d just done until my cheeks went redder than a lobster and I tried to avert my eyes. I did get a small look though and Lord have mercy, he’s a fine piece of ass.

His manager was fast to notice this and speedily got him another robe.

Anyway, after that, Ryan let us both go and because I was covered in syrup, Evan offered to let me use the shower in his dressing room. I was hesitant about this, but I agreed despite that.

Once we got to the dressing room, things got interesting, shall we say😉😉

Evan helped me out of the robe he’d given me. It was oddly intimate but felt so damned right. It was the first time I had ever noticed just how much taller he was then me. His eyes were soft and kind but held a hint of dare I say attraction. Being that close to him made me feel things that I had never felt before….well, I mean I have but this felt different. It felt real, you know?

I didn’t really know what to do in that situation. I had been fantasizing about that moment since I first met him two years prior but now that it was finally there, it was strange. I liked it and I think he did too because before I knew it, Evan was slowly removing my glasses and leaning in toward me.

Needless to say, Evan Peters has the softest lips I’ve ever felt in my life. The gentle scratch of his stubble added to the intense feelings that were firing through my veins. This man was sex on legs and kissing me in his dressing room.

It doesn’t stop there though.

Somewhere between the kiss and standing in the hot shower, I had undressed him and dragged him into the shower with me. From there I’m sure you can guess what happened.

This leads us to now. I’m currently sitting in bed next to a sleeping and very naked Evan Peters.

Yup, this is my life and I just hope it continues because damn, I need a good man like him in my life.

So yeah, that about does it for now. Will I write more entries after this detailing my life’s day to day activities? Only time will tell.

Love your very happy and fucked out friend,

Y/N.

 ===

[mianavs]

facing a betrothed

part 5 of Cathexis

a/n: looking forward to writing more Illumi now that the build-up is done. sorry for the wait but the holidays are keeping me busy

wc: 2.3k

Cathexis

Ever since finding out the truth behind Illumi’s obsession with you, reuniting with him was something you wanted to avoid at all costs despite knowing better. You weren’t ready to face the man that intended to trap you in a contract marriage without a termination clause. But much like your first meeting, Illumi showed up by invitation of Hisoka and saw you exiting the bathroom as you towel dried your damp hair.

“What are you doing here?” Illumi asked, his usually unaffected eyes were fractionally narrowed.

“I’m sure it’s obvious, Illumi,” Hisoka answered on your behalf as he stood up from his seat, still clad in his white bathrobe, and stood next to you. You glared at the magician and took a step away from him.

“What are you doing, Hisoka?”

“Just trying to clear up this misunderstanding,” Hisoka stated with a smirk. “Don’t you think Illumi deserves to know?”

“No!” Your trembling grip on his arm did nothing to stop Hisoka and you could only watch Illumi’s reaction with wide eyes.

“Y/N knows you’ve been watching over her, Illumi. That’s the only reason she came looking for me.”

Illumi’s face was unchanging except for the tensing of his jaw before turning to you. “How long have you known?”

“Three years now,” you replied swallowing your unease.

“And the engagement?”

You didn’t fail to notice his choice of the word engagement instead of betrothal and it only confirmed your suspicion that he was onboard with the arrangement.

“Just recently.”

“I told you she wasn’t ready.” Illumi said turning to Hisoka.

“I thought she deserved to know,” Hisoka replied with a shrug but the smirk on his face only grew seeing Illumi toy with the needle in his hand—an indicator that he was discontent.

“This wasn’t something you could decide.”

“So when was I going to be ready, Illumi? In a couple of months? You don’t get to decide that for me.”

You were tired of getting pushed to the sidelines like your opinion didn’t matter. Hisoka might be a twisted individual but at least he had the decency to tell you what the future had in store for you.

“Your reaction is proof of your immaturity.”

“I’m being sold off to repay a debt, how am I supposed to react?” Illumi opened his mouth but you interjected with a bitter laugh. “Never mind, I remembered that I’m speaking to someone devoid of all emotions.”

You were done with the conversation and threw the towel on the bed. You quickly laced up your shoes, eager to put as much space as possible between you and the duo.

“Leaving so soon?” Hisoka asked before his hand reached down towards your head. You caught his wrist and stood up. “I’m busy. You know that.”

Without another word to the magician, you shook off his hand and stalked towards the door. Before you could reach it, however, Illumi was there in an instant.

“We need to talk, Y/N.”

“I’m late for a job. We can talk later.”

Activating your nen, you pushed Illumi away and darted out the door without looking back. You reached the end of the hallway before your entire body went numb causing you to stumble and stop. It felt as if your arms and legs had fallen asleep but you carried on. The further you got, the more your body seemed to work against you until it culminated with sharp pains in the back of your neck.

The stabbing neck pain lasted throughout your mission of protecting your client’s rare emerald in transport from Kakin to Zaban City. It affected your performance to the point that the shipment was late and your displeased client cut your payment by half.

Those were the events that led to you to your family doctor who serviced your family long before your birth. The two of you were able to work together to locate and extract the golden nen-covered needle wedged into the back of your neck. You were baffled at the realization that someone had inserted that into you, until your doctor cleared everything up with a single question.

“What manipulator did you cross?”

Illumi.

It was Illumi.

The dream that you had after meeting him for the first time hadn’t been a dream at all. He actually broke into your room and inserted his needle into your neck. It dawned on you that the warnings and the bad feelings you had when you were meeting Hisoka were all because of Illumi’s needle that had brainwashed you somehow.

That day only, you wanted to run into Illumi. You waited the whole day for him to appear but he never came. Of course he wouldn’t show up when you wanted him to. With the needle sealed in a plastic baggy and stashed into your travel pack, you headed to York New to meet with one of your regular clients, Rivero Langstaff.

Over the past three months, Rivero had provided a good number of jobs for you. Despite the majority of them not paying a lot, they were usually easy to do and allowed you to make some quick cash on the side while a big job popped up.

It was late evening when you arrived to Rivero’s office building and the dark rain clouds covering the sky only made it that much darker. With the rain beating down on your umbrella, you walked into the building and greeted Rivero’s secretary, Margo. It was during your walk to the elevator with Margo that you sensed something was off. Rivero’s nen, while not very strong, was undetectable as the elevator approached his office on the 14th floor.

As soon as the two of you got off the elevator, you turned to Margo and sent her back down to avoid getting the innocent secretary tangled into whatever was waiting for you. Upon opening the office door, you found the office dark with Rivero’s body slumped over his desk. As you drew closer to him, lightning flashed and you saw the dark red puddle beneath his head that slowly amassed more and more of the desk’s surface area. Proving your suspicions, you then straightened your gaze to the figure that stood against the window.

Long black hair and matching soulless eyes stood immobile while facing you. Illumi’s collected demeanor had you seething but you steeled yourself to the spot you stood on before addressing him.

“Did you have to go this far?” Your voice shook from anger and you balled your hands into fists to keep them from attacking the murderer before you.

“We need to talk about the engagement.” Illumi stated in that absent-minded manner of his while ignoring your question per usual.

“I-I seriously...I can’t believe you.” You stammered running your hand through your hair before beginning to pace around. “Did the thought of approaching me like a normal human ever cross your mind?”

“I already tried that but you ignored me; therefore, I needed to take certain measures.” He stated quirking his head. He was mocking you and you’d had enough. Digging into your travel pack, you pulled out the plastic baggy with Illumi’s needle and threw it at him. He easily caught the baggy mid-air and it’s contents.

“More drastic than that? You really tried hard to control me didn’t you, Illumi.”

“Ah, I was hoping it would last longer.” He took the needle out and stored it in his pocket. “I guess it doesn’t matter now that—”

Illumi suddenly stopped and you sensed Margo’s presence getting off the elevator. In a fraction of a second, the two of you were by the door and you held his wrist while he held one of his large yellow needles to your neck.

“Just go and leave her out of this” you hissed while Illumi stared blankly down at you.

“But we still need to talk.”

“We can talk somewhere else,” and you hesitated before continuing. “Meet me outside of my condo. I don’t think I need to tell you the address, now do I?”

Illumi didn’t answer but still removed his needle and you let go of his wrist. You swiftly exited the office and met with a concerned Margo. After explaining Rivero’s death at the hand of a mysterious assassin and comforting the distraught secretary, Margo went back down to call the authorities and you left to meet with Rivero’s murderer.

Despite your instructions to meet you outside of your condo, you found Illumi waiting for you in your living room.

“Have you always broken into my home while I sleep?” You asked offhandedly while going into your kitchen and putting the kettle on the stove for some tea.

“Only when you’re training or after a mission. Although, I have never been to your ancestral home.”

He paced around the living room until he stopped in front of the framed pictures your mom had of you. Illumi took in your living room while you kept your gaze trained on him ready to stop him from venturing further into your home.

The sharp kettle whistle drew you from your thoughts and you quickly prepared the tea before fishing two mugs from the cabinet and bringing it all to the coffee table. With a mug of hot tea in your hands, you faced Illumi who sat ramrod straight on the couch opposite from you with his mug still on the table.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“The conditions of our marriage since it is based on an agreement.” Illumi replied in that fake cheerful manner of his.

“And do I get an input in these conditions?”

Illumi regarded you for a moment, his mouth twitching into what you assumed was meant to be a smile, before answering. “Not really, but I’ll listen to them and depending what they are, I might allow them.”

“Hah…of course.” You replied bitterly before taking another sip of tea. You weren’t sure what you expected. You were the payment demanded by the Zoldycks; therefore, it was only natural that the agreement would be unilateral.

“My family wants the marriage done exactly one year after the engagement as is Zoldyck tradition. Until then, you and I are free to do as we please with whomever we please but as soon as we are wed, you are mine and I am yours until death.”

How romantic

“Fine but what about after we’re married? Will I still be allowed to work as a hunter or is it Zoldyck tradition to stay at home and be a good little housewife?” You couldn’t help but play along.

“It is Zoldyck tradition,” Illumi answered matter-of-factly either not picking up on your sarcasm or simply choosing to ignore it; you suspected the former. “But you can still work as a hunter if you wish as I have no intention of having children right away.”

The thought of raising Illumi’s kids and being a housewife gave you chills and you wished there was something stronger in your cup to get you through the rest of the conversation. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Ah, yes. We are a family business, therefore, once you become a Zoldyck a part of your wages will go towards the business.”

“Not much different than my current situation,” you muttered, finishing off your tea. You looked up to see Illumi eyeing you with a strange look that resembled curiosity.

“Why do you work so much?” Illumi inquired, taking the first sip of the tea that had most likely gone cold. “As far as I know, your parents still work as hunters and are very active. You also come from a long line of hunters yet you’ve been working non-stop ever since you got your hunter license.”

You set your mug down and readied the answer you’d been preparing since finding out about the engagement. For multiple aspects of your life, you would resort to making up half-lies that hopefully convinced him until the deadline.

“A long line of debt too. Our family has been in debt for a couple generations now and my parents and I have spent our lives trying to pay off the ones we can.” The entire time, you kept your eyes trained on Illumi for the slightest movement of muscle indicating suspicion but the stoic assassin remained still.

“I see. Well, you can choose to do whatever you want; however, I’ll continue to keep tabs on you until the agreement is complete and we’re married.”

“Right,” You swallowed and relaxed your tensed shoulders. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Yes, my family would like to meet you before the engagement.” Illumi replied setting his mug down on the table and standing up. “I’ll let you know when that will take place so you can make arrangements for it.”

“That’s fine but I’m letting you know that my time is precious and I expect monetary compensation.” You stated and stood up as well. Illumi’s jaw tensed the slightest bit before agreeing to your conditions. Grinning from ear-to-ear, you gave Illumi your bank account information knowing it’d be going back to him in the form of repayment.

With that, Illumi left and you took a deep breath as soon as you closed the door behind him. The dreaded conversation was finally over and you’d managed not break a vase on his head no matter how much you wanted to. Hearing the expectations Illumi and his family had of his future bride made you shudder in disgust but also served to motivate you to earn as much money as you could. You decided to call one of your clients to see if they had any work for you when you received a notification from your bank. Upon reading the message, a smile unconsciously creeped on your face.

[Deposit of 200,000 Jenny from Illumi Zoldyck]

[wintershieldedheart]

Bucky & Margo || @ghostsandmirrors​ continuation of x

As soon as he turned to look at her, Margo knew something was wrong. She had felt it in her gut the moment she’d caught him heading out the door. He had been off all day too, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint how she knew that, and she didn’t want to confront him without any tangible proof. Still, staring at him now, Margo wished more than anything that she’d have called him out sooner. 

"I could come with you if you want. If you’re having a bad night I don’t mind going with you,” she offered, an ounce of desperation heard in her tone. Something told her that if he went out that door alone she’d never see him again, and Margo couldn’t take that chance. She’d spent too many years missing him to ever go back to that. Above all else, she was so tired of losing her family, and she was hard pressed to let him go. Margo had spent too many years observing him not to recognize when he was determined to do something. 

And the only person more stubborn than him, than Steve Rogers himself, was her. 

Eyebrows knitted together in both concern and confusion. Margo didn’t understand. He never missed when she was having a bad night. He never dismissed her so casually. The gentleness in his tone set a warning siren off in her mind. It was a voice that always, always put her at ease. 

But she wasn’t the one in distress. 

So why was he trying to put her at ease? Swallowing she shook her head, “Can’t sleep. S’why I heard you out here. Are you alright, Ada?” she asked, worry lacing her tone. As she continued to observe him - body language, tone, words, everything about the situation as a whole - she more and more hated the conclusion she was coming to. 

“No you won’t.” 

There was a quiet devastation to her words. Empty and resigned, as though the worst had already happened. Margo felt the well of panic suffocate her momentarily, before she buried it down. All at once, reality crashed around her, and Margo’s jaw clenched. She had known that it was only a matter of time before he left, had hardly even grown settled in the belief that he was staying, and now her worst fear was coming true. 

“You’re leaving me -” her voice cracked despite herself, “us,” she amended. The heaviness threatened to drag her down and Margo could feel the barriers that she’d kept up for so long starting to build again. It was her own fault. If she’d never let her guards down, he never would have been able to sucker punch her the way he did. Still, Margo knew it was too late for the pain to not be felt. 

Still, there was too much emotion in his voice, as though this decision was somehow hurting him just as much, despite the fact that it was his choice to go. It was enough of a soft spot for her to push. 

“Why now? What changed, Ada? What did we do.”

[nothingmancy]

hung aloft the night - chapters 2 and 3 dvd commentary

let's get into it...

I think every AU version of Quentin needs (and can have, which is fun!) the Fillory series as a component of his personality. this is true in my teacher/single parent AU too!! here I imagined it would be more literally Alice in Wonderlandish in public perception. canon-wise obviously Plover's whole deal is Lewis Carroll directly fused to C.S. Lewis but my ideas....were about vibes...... how many AUs can I write before me working this in as a slight riff is like annoying

not to repeat myself from my last silly commentary but another essential component of queliot is the "I'm going to tell you something deep and dark and personal. Ready? Okay" which translates pretty conveniently for Eliot infodumping about vampires. there also needed to be a sense of playfulness even though Eliot is telling him kind of dark stuff, and then subsequently Quentin in chapter 3 is just taking notes, because he's a nerd

I meant to create a sense that this was different from the Magicians' universe's magic. I thought probably too hard about how to portray the vampires and greater universe because I wanted Gothic fiction vibes! I wanted this one to be more like, Creature Mythos with an emphasis on Mythos. you know, folklore!! like Ms. Swift said......

I went back and forth a lot on how, uh, sheltered? to make Quentin, which comes up for the first time in this chapter with his greenness when it comes to drinking, so I'll discuss it here.......but essentially underlying all my choices is my thesis that in this version of reality he would have literally no close friends other than Julia and then James. pondering his Big Virg-osity reminded me of the Atonement behind the scenes story where it was really important to Joe Wright that Keira Knightley's character was a virgin for the Themes even though some like historical expert came to the set and explained that high society girls in the time were REALLY fucking. but I think my choice is more artistically sound on account of Quentin Coldwater and also that whole story is embarrassing for Joe Wright and making Quentin an incredible virgin is not embarrassing, it's emotionally resonant. BUT ANYWAY TO GET BACK TO THE POINT, what I ultimately wound up going for was that Quentin's lack of potential for interaction with even different points of view and literally no Google/internet + general repression + Quentin's specific, somehow more painful since people certainly fucked in the 1880s, repression + almost no friends = the guy in this fic. again I will continue to talk about this.

also to bring it back to stuff in the chapter, the unicorn line is about Quentin being a virgin thus attracting unicorns, bit copyright to my fiancé

it's funny to have Eliot be the introducing mentor/expert/audience explainer, canonically and otherwise, because he's Eliot. he's 19(0) and he's never learned how to fuckin read. that number is not literal I never decided how old eliot is EXACTLY in this fic, what am I a math nerd???

equally as much as Quentin is just a guy hanging out adjacent to a fantasy story (things happening to him, etc.), Eliot is a somewhat more agential guy just hanging out next to a fantasy story. What I imagined was that they were loosely associated with power-hungry vampires, but mostly these last several generations both he and Margo just kind of drink blood, con people, and hang out. obviously Margo would be a little more involved and aware of what other people are up to which I hope?! is apparent later in the fic.

[rochellena]

What makes Quentin different and lesser than the others? Why is this being done this way? Why won’t they ask the questions of him, they’ve asked of Alice and Eliot? Will I ever be ok?

So, I’ve been trying to find the words to explain what is upsetting me most about the way the Q story is being handled in s5. I won’t lie, there are some things that hitting the right notes for me (I’m easy person to win over. I won’t lie. My standards do not exist.), but at the same time, I keep coming back to how quickly this has been wrapped up. Julia was sad for about 5 minutes and Margo acts like she doesn’t know who this Q person was. I heard there had actually been a touching scene where Kady showed some grief, but it was cut, which is a shame --I always thought the Kady/Q almost friendship was interesting (I loathed that the only thing she could think of to bring to the finale fire was the autographed book that had been one of the final straws for breaking Q’s spirit. Anyway not the point, but boy I would love to do a whole write up about that), and with how detached Kady’s story is from EVERYTHING ELSE, it would have been a good way to incorporate her into this bigger story of mourning and grief (though it also just goes to show how much of the glue that Q was to these characters).

The only characters who actually seem affected by what happened are Alice and Eliot, which while not surprising, it kind of hurts a lot to see the memory of Quentin Coldwater reduced down to his two major romantic partners. And after the newest episode, it hurts more to see how these two have officially given up on him now too. These two that he fought so hard to save. I mean, you can even compare the s2 arc of saving Alice to the s4 arc of saving Eliot, and they’re almost beat for beat the same--the initial denial and hope that something can be done (going to the flying forest, helping the monster in hopes he’ll release El), some outside force assuring him that it can not be done as they’re dead dead (the questing beast and the monster), he believes it for about a half second before something happens (ghost|niffin!Alice haunting him, El breaking free from the monster for a moment) and then he gives every ounce of energy he has to saving them-- some of them silly (interpretive dances and talking to mummies), some of them painful (niffin!alice doing everything she can to emotionally hurt him, the monster constantly touching him and using Eliot’s body as a tool to keep Q in line), hell, he even visits Mayakovsky for help during each of these arcs. All of this to say, there’s no one who could deny that Q did not give up on Alice and El, never, and definitely not so easily or quickly. 

So to see these two people, the two that at different points of his life, he gave everything to bring back from death, it hurts. And that’s what it was, Niffin!Alice was not just another version of Alice. Our Alice died that day. Q brought her back, but she died the day she became a niffin. Now because she was a niffin, it was a whole different life, kind of like Fred becoming Ilyria on Angel. Niffin!Alice ended up having her own set of experiences (good and bad) and her own life, and the question of whether it was right for Q to strip that away from her to bring back our Alice was the entirety of their s3 story, but at the end of the day, the answer settled on yes, it was right to bring her back because no matter what she experienced as a niffin, the power she had, it only happened because a 23 year old girl was tragically killed. 

El was a little different, but at the same time, as time went on, we saw the Monster developing his own views and thoughts. For the first time since his creation, he was able to act on his own accord and he discovered he liked churros and television and touching and Starbucks and Quentin and those quiet moments in the forest under an old tree. I mean, that last moment of the monster, sitting under that tree, demonstrated that to get Eliot back, they had to eliminate this new existence. Again, this isn’t the same as niffin!Alice because even post-rehumaning of her, there was a part of her that enjoyed that other existence (but it was still the right thing to do) while Eliot was invaded and did not like it. But in the end, the similarities of what Q did, what Q gave up, and what Q destroyed to bring back the people he loved are present and strong. 

So, it brings me to this thing I’m really struggling with-- every one keeps saying that the reason they can’t/shouldn’t bring Q back is because it was his choice. But it was also Alice’s choice to go niffin that day. She admitted it; she let herself burn so she could destroy the beast. Eliot might not have known he’d get possessed, but he knew he was putting his life in danger when he pulled that trigger, but he did so he could try to protect Q. Just like Q doing what he did to defeat Everett (which there is so much stuff to support that this was NOT THE ONLY OPTION but that’s not the point here), Alice sacrificed herself to defeat the beast and save her friends and Eliot was willing to sacrifice himself to kill the monster and save Q. 

So why is Quentin’s choice the only one that sticks? Why his “sacrificial choice” more concrete than theirs? Why does it need to be respected? All three of them would sacrifice themselves to save the people they love. The question at the end of the day is though, would they like to save their friends and also be alive themselves? Alice and El (except for Q) both got to answer that question (and from what we know about this season, Eliot will become more sure on this part, much like Alice over s3 and 4): though it’s rough, though it’s painful and messy and dirty, life is worth something. But for Q, this isn’t a question that’s being asked. The idea that they can’t change time because it has to have happened for them to be alive now doesn’t hold weight when Q brought back Alice and Q saved Eliot. 

And this gets to the crux of my issue: If you ask that question, and the answer is yes, saving your friends is important but so is being alive, then everyone giving up on him and not reciprocating what he would do for them, is terrible and heartbreaking and basically an affirmation of his every negative thought--disposable, useless, unnecessary, unlovable, he breaks things. But if the answer is yeah saving my friends is important but my own life is not, then it’s canon confirmation that his death was a suicide, and then the question of choice becomes void, and they should be doing everything they can to save him a la What Dreams May Come. 

If they aren’t going to bring Q back (and I truly dgaf about bts stuff, as how this is all being handled rests squarely on the shoulders of the people writing it. And honestly if this is the result of JR leaving because he wanted more creative control, than they should have probably given it to him because he would have done a lot better by Q-- end snark), then it should be a bigger impact than 2 characters being sad, but accepting with very little pushback, and moving on. Or at the very least, give better reasons why beyond “it was his choice.” This is magical fantasy world where anything can happen and no one stays dead, give me something with meat. Q deserved better than that, and it’s really breaking my heart that in universe, no one else thinks so. 

[buttercups-song]

Honestly? They didn't just fuck over Q, they fucked over pretty much all of them.

They fucked over Margo. Margo who had the whole arc about her inner strength, who gave up her fucking crown, who picked black sand for days on end. Margo who would kill and die for her best friend, her soul mate. They had her watch a fish. When everything was going down she was stuck watching a goddamn fish. Fish who was Josh, who was artificially forced into a relationship with her. Want to know a harsh truth? Margo would let him die if it meant keeping El safe.

They fucked over Alice. Alice who spent the first part of the season trying to figure out herself. Who went out of her mother's shadow, who tried so hard to do good with her magic. Who needed to forgive herself. But she wasn't allowed to figure out who she is outside of her relationship with Q. They were messily forced together even if it didn't make sense for them anymore. Just to create more angst.

They fucked over Kady. Kady who was supposed to be a leader, who was so determined to save hedges from the library. Kady who could be so much more. And yet they've decided to drop that plot completely. They've decided that all she's ever wanted was to be Penny's girlfriend.

They fucked over Fen. Fen who finally got more growth, who got to be more than El's wife. Who had prophetic visions, who could have been an excellent high king. But no, she was overthrown off scene.

They fucked over Julia. Julia who already went through so much shit. Who was a goddess, who sacrificed herself to bring magic back. Julia whose arc was supposed to be about choice. They took away that, they made her into an overglorified shield. In the end her choice was made by a man.

I don't even want to talk about how much they fucked over Eliot, we all know that.

[shivtomdivorce]

okay the magicians s4 ending really was So Bad tho

SO BAD (  accidentally wrote an essay whoop ive had 2 glasses of wine and have a lot to say)  

1) quentin’s death and complete disregard of main themes of the show: like no surprise the biggest problem is have quentin, a bisexual man with a history of severe mental illness, literally kill himself and after a season of being tortured by a monster possessing the man he’s in love with. like... the message you are sending your viewers is “no, you will not feel better in your life, you will not be able to find happiness, sacrifice is enough” which is 1) incorrect and 2) an Antithesis the message of the books!!!! like no the books are not perfect by any means but the message at the core is yeah growing up and realizing that the things you loved as a kid, magic and fillory, arent perfect and dont bring happiness on their own but you learn and adapt and can use things as tools to grow and build a better life was ruined!!! the whole point is magic doesnt fix problems but you can grow and change and find your own path regardless and the show said fuck that you cant find happiness the best thing you can do is die! 

2) they completely dropped almost character’s season 4 story line and fucked them over in some way??

Julia: taking away her choice of becoming a goddess or a human, like there was so much emphasis on it being her choice they even had OLU explicitly tell as “you will not fail as long as the decision is yours” yes i looked that up. and they had penny23, who was in love with a dead version of julia choose for for her when he could have EASILY incepted her and asked?? fucked up!

eliot: he at least acted in character BUT letting him Finally let himself realize he deserves love and want to try to be with q only to have him wake up to q being dead??? cruel and homophobic! the fact that a lot of the fourth season, in particular escape from the happy place, was marketed as being So Progressive with (if im remembering correctly) the showrunners doing interviews and accepting praise for eliot and quentins relationship and then really not doing anything with it passed that episode is just insidious 

alice: i love alice as a character i hate when the writers forgot that she was a character outside of q’s girlfriend her early season 4 arc with learning to love magic again and see the good in it was so!!! interesting!!! they threw away that interesting character development to get back with quentin (which honestly didnt even make narrative sense after q told her to fuck off and spent all season only focused on eliot but ANYWAY)

margo: stayed with josh??? over helping to save eliot?? (i dont remember the details of this ep and don’t care to check) the most our of character thing for her ALSO the entire season she wasn’t explicitly in on the saving eliot plan doesn’t make sense along with her abandoning quentin to take care of the monster, they were best friends too!!!

kady: reduced her character to being penny’s girlfriend when she considered letting the poison kill her so she could be with him, 

penny: ill say it!! i dont care about penny 23 and i think he was a bad choice should have just broken penny40 out of the underworld but went on and on about respecting julia and what not and just made a life changing decision for her  

and 3) you’re really telling me everyone wouldnt have tried to resurrect him???? really???? i dont believe it

4) and personally, as a bisexual person who struggles w mental health issues and uses fantasy-based media as a coping mechanism (which was tm for YEARs) q’s season 4 storyline was... very hard to watch and something i still think about all the time   

[ofmargos]

chicago’s very own margo rosas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mercedes-AMG G65 , welcome ! your resemblance to camila mendes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re distrusting , but being passionate might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be lipstick stained kisses on mirrors , doing vocal warm-ups five minutes before top of show , popping bottles of bubbly to celebrate buying a new pair of shoes . ( my biological dad paid off my mom to keep my relation to him a secret ) & ( cis-female + she / her  ) +  (  lia , 20 , she / her , cst )

whAT is up my dudes ! i’m lia & i lowkey missed wealthy & writing for my bbygirl margo so i’m rlly excited to be here !!!! if you know her from before i’m sorry lmao i’ve tweaked her background a bit but everything else is p much the same ig ?? she’s fun , she’s a dumbitch , & she’s here to make things harder than they need to be probs . but if you wanna know more , i wrote a novel below so plz enjoy that . if you wanna plot then LIKE THIS & i’ll slide in your im’s.or if you prefer discord hmu @  𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904. i look forward to writing with y’all ! <3

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : margaret lucia rosas -- NICKNAME(S) : margo ( preferred name , started introducing herself to people as “margo” back in like the 7th or 8th grade ??? who’s margaret ? we don’t know her ) , mar , mars -- * AGE : twenty-three -- * D.O.B : october 31 -- * ZODIAC : scorpio -- * GENDER : cis-female --* ORIENTATION : heterosexual heteroromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5′2″ -- * NATIONALITY : american -- * BIRTHPLACE : chicago , illinois -- * OCCUPATION : broadway performer -- * TRAITS : passionate , creative , dramatic , distrusting , outgoing , ambitious , fun-loving , loyal , daring , sarcastic , stubborn , overconfident , impulsive , hard-working , petty , secretive lowkey

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

( TW : BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABORTION, ALCOHOLISM, AND DRUG USE )

   first things first , i’m just going to say it-- margo was an accident . and her story begins with her mother , stassia , who was born and raised on the wrong side of the tracks in chicago , illinois . although she was born into poverty , she had big aspirations for herself and wanted a better lifestyle . her ambition and work ethic were unmatched , and that’s how she managed to get into columbia university ( thank you scholariship $$ ). stassia was in the middle of struggling through her college years when she met her future baby daddy . he was older , going through grad school , and the sole heir to a billion-dollar company . the sparks between them flew instantly despite their differences and they messed around for the better part of a year before the unexpected happened . stassia found herself taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom in between finals ( #justcollegethings , amirite ) and swore she was going to pass out when she noticed the double lines . and let’s just say that her baby daddy did NOT take the news well . a lot of horrible things were said that day . too many hurt feelings for the relationship ( that apparently was never that serious to homeboy ) to carry on . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) so he cut all ties with stassia-- but not before giving her a crazy proposition : get an abortion and never talk to him again OR keep the baby but tell absolutely no one it’s his and never talk to him again . they both seemed like shitty options to stassia , who was actually tragically in love w him , but when he even offered to PAY HER a hefty sum ( i’m talking millions of dollars ) to keep the secret .. well-- it seemed like a blessing in disguise . she’d finally have the funds to live the life she always wanted . even if there was now a baby she didn’t plan for in the mix . so she took the hush money , had the baby in secret , and ran off to completely reinvented herself . ( TRIGGER WARNING END )

    although margo’s mother was born into poverty , margo certainly was not . by the time she was born , margo’s mom was ramping up to graduate college and join the high society in the heart of chicago . she got a good job , a lavish place to live , and never told margo about her past . margo grew up completely disconnected from her mother’s side of the family and had no idea of the lies she was being fed over the years . early on in margo’s childhood , her mother met a man through work who she would later go on to marry . that man is the only dad that margo has ever known . he and his daughter were a welcomed addition to their little family , making margo’s home life feel complete in some way . she was provided a good life with the dual income adding to the millions her mother kept . the life her mother always wished she had growing up . in a way , everything she did was for margo . she never wanted her babygirl to struggle like she had to .

   as she got older , margo went to all the best schools but only made average grades . she was never too concerned with academics and instead focused on her poppin’ social life and extracurriculars . during her middle school days , she developed an affinity for the performing arts . when everyone had to pick an elective , margo found herself in the theatre class and absolutely loving it . and she was good too . she had excellent stage presence and took every role she got in school productions in stride -- literally the best tree number 3 you’ve ever seen in your life . as she moved on to high school , she rose in the ranks of the theatre department until she was pretty much landing every single lead by the time she was an upperclassmen . acting was her passion , and she figured why not turn being dramatic and talking a lot ( her two most notable personality traits ) into a career . to really hone the craft , she trained herself to be a triple threat : actor , singer , and dancer ( sutton foster , eat your heart out ) . honestly truly had rachel berry in early seasons of glee vibes-- she knew she was the best around and wouldn’t stand to let anyone take the spotlight from her . her peers hated to love her talents because she acted like such a bitch to them offstage / out of character . not that margo really cared for what others thought of her anyway . self absorbed as ever , she told herself she didn’t need friends and generally pushed away any one that dared try to get close to her-- save for her sister . though somehow , someway she managed to get sucked into a small group of friends that would change her for the better ( s/o to ky and gio , sorry they had to put up w bitchy hs margo , rip )

   after graduating somewhere in the middle of her class , margo followed in her mother’s footsteps and went to columbia university . she was really only able to get in because she was a legacy and her parents made a considerable donation to the school , but we don’t talk about it . and to say that margo’s college years were transformative feels like an understatement . on one hand , they were some of the best years of her life : she got a true taste of independence , met some of her best friends ( s/o oliver and claudia ), and felt fulfilled to be in the city she had romanticized for so long-- new york baby ! but it was also a very low point for her . back in her high school years , she felt like a very big fish in a teeny tiny pond . she was hot shit , the top dog in her department , and all her hard work and effort to remain leading lady had paid off . however , at columbia she was just one in hundreds of talented people . some with more or less talent , or more or less connections , but they deserved a shot at fame just as much as she did . margo felt like she was fighting for her chance in the spotlight every single day and it was both parts exhausting and humbling for her . she had a amy march mentality “i want to be great, or nothing” and considered throwing in the towel . temporarily thrown off by the pressure to be successful , she took a small tumble from grace . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) turning towards alcohol was her coping mechanism of choice . losing herself in the party scene and surrounding herself with other people that prioritized getting drunk or high over going to class and getting good grades had an obvious effect on her academic performance . ( END TRIGGER WARNING ) she almost lost her place in the BFA Theatre Program during her junior year due being on academic probation . it took a little bit of intervention on her close friends and family part to get margo clean and pull herself together . but by her senior year , she got back on track to graduate on time and participated in various shows at local theaters to build her resume . after almost losing everything she had ever worked for , a fire was lit under margo that had her determined to push herself hard than ever before and make a name for herself in the theatre world . 

   after she graduated from columbia she moved to new york permanently so that she could fully submerge herself in her work . not long after graduating , she was lucky enough to book several gigs including her big breakout role as lydia in beetlejuice the musical ! it really skyrocketed her into broadway stardom which is cool . a life long dream that once seemed unobtainable was suddenly a reality and she couldn’t have been more elated . with her sudden ( and well deserved ) success , she got a lot of media attention . soon she was getting verified on twitter , instagram , gaining a whole bunch of followers , and getting asked to be on talkshows and stuff to promote the show . honestly , truly a dream ! but her new-found fame gained the attention of another group of people .. her mom’s long lost family . one of her aunt’s ( that she previously didn’t know existed ) reached out to her through social media . and at first , margo honestly couldn’t believe that she had family that her mom never told her about . but after some thought it sort of made sense . in hindsight , her mom had always been evasive whenever margo asked about the other’s childhood or her side of the family .

   when margo told her mom about her aunt reaching out and how she wanted to meet her , her mom shut it down quick . stassia told her there were a lot of reasons that she didn’t talk to that side of the family and that was that-- PERIODT . but margo was #rebellious and went to meet with her aunt anyway . and that’s how she found out about her brazilian roots and her big ol’ loving and supportive extended family . that whole experience made margo reconsider what other things her mom was keeping from her . and boy oh boy was that a rabbit hole she shouldn’t have gone down . when margo started to demand her mother tell her the truth , it caused their relationship to grow tense . stassia eventually cracked and told her about her bio-dad and all the things she went through for margo . with the truth finally being exposed to her , margo started seeing things in a new light . like her whole life is kinda a lie and why didn’t her father want her ? where was he ? does he know who she is ? why did he never try to contact her ? has she ever walked past him in the streets and never knew ? it was all too much for her to think about so she just kinda ... shut it all out . she acted like nothing was different , even if her “ what if ” thoughts keep her up most nights . 

   if you just ignore the abandonment issues , insecurities , and her inability to handle emotions and focus solely on her success in material terms : margo’s doing really well ! she’s been living in new york full time for two (2) years now . she’s one of broadway’s most popular rising stars . having completed her run as the original lydia deetz on broadway , she’s moved on to take on the mantel of janis in mean girls on broadway . she’s learning , growing , and thriving . just trying to have a good time all the time with her friends and live the dream , baby !

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

margo is super fun-loving and down to clown 

will try anything once and it’s gotten her in trouble more times than she can count

also cannot stand to be bored , so she’s always looking for the next big adventure 

although she can be really ridiculous sometimes , she’s very serious when it comes to her work . she’s super hard-working and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of achieving her dreams : even herself

margo’s a very sociable girl and will talk to anyone and everyone . she’s the type that will hold a conversation for 2hrs with a stranger at a party and then when you ask her “who was that” she’s like “i don’t remember their name but i do know their entire life story so that’s cool”

has a way of making people feel like they know her really well when really she’s only letting them see 1/8th of her

keeps her personal life private normally unless you’re super good friends w her

i wouldn’t recommend pissing her off , bc she is petty as a mf and will lit rally never forget how one’s wronged her . this causes her to start fights sometimes . she’ll just bring up old shit out of no where and , since she’s nosy af , she makes everything her business and confronts people on their bs

she’s a whole liar bc she claims she’s a “retired party girl” but really party girl margo has never stopped , will never stop , can never be stopped

studied theatre in college but minored in mass communications just in case she needed a backup job

is v bad at being an adult !!!! like ... can’t cook , often forgets about her responsibilities until the last minute or needs to be reminded like 20 times , stills calls her parents to be like “how do u use a washing machine plz help” , y’know the drill . yet somehow she manages to act as a mom friend to the people that are closest to her ??? v much a “do as i say not as i do” type of hypocrite lol

she has a tiktok and posts dumb shit on there all the time w her friends and like vlogs her backstage experiences in the theater and does the stupid dances and all that stuff hehe

is learning portuguese after meeting the brazilian side of her family

self-proclaimed dancing queen and it’s not because she learned ballet , jazz , and tap whole dabbling in other styles but because when she’s drunk you will in fact catch her dancing on tables !!!!!

i cannot stress enough how bad she is at dealing with her own feelings . like ... instead of dealing with them head on she just ... shuts down . runs away . will ghost on someone she really likes just bc she’d rather leave first than get left and i hate her for it

have i mentioned how big her ego is ???? pHEW . she rides a v fine line between self confident and OVER confident . but tbh it’s just a cover up for how much she rlly hates herself , there i said it

loyalty is EVERYTHING to margo . if you got her back , she’s got your back . but if you screw her over or mess with anyone she loves then she’ll likely try to make your life a living hell IM SORRY

undiagnosed insomniac . nights she spends alone in her own bed are the hardest for her because it’s when all the bad scary thoughts creep up on her and no matter how much she wants to shut them out and just close her eyes and fall to sleep , she can’t . so she’ll often roam the city looking for a distraction or hit up her friends and bother them for some spare company

she’s doesn’t like to be alone ( not like in a romantic relationship sense -- she actually likes being single bc she’s afraid of letting ppl get close enough to hurt her ). hence why she’s always had a roommate even after she moved out of her parent’s house . if she’s not attached to her roommate / best friend kylie’s hip then she’s definitely hitting up her sister or her other friends to see if they want to hang out , even if hanging out is laying around doing nothing or running errands together . margo wants to tag along just for the company

notoriously known for coming up with terrible ideas or following through with other people’s terrible ideas without question bc #YOLO

she’s her pr agents worse nightmare simply bc she has no filter and will not change herself or what she posts just bc she has a big audience ( follow margo on social media and you’re gonna see the good , the bad , and the ugly she does not give a FUCK )

always has good intentions ! her execution / way of showing those intentions is just poor !

she is a rich girl that could not survive not being rich and doesn’t even realize how spoiled she is . spends money like it’s nothing

a mob boss ( this is a joke but also kinda not a joke )

WANTED CONNECTION PAGES HERE 

[campchitaquamemories]

What are your top 10 Queliot moments?

Nonny, thank you so much for waiting patiently for this one! 

I was just going to write out a list (after I got done being EXTREMELY stumped because- you expect me to just pick 10??! Rude.) but then I realized that I just hit 600 followers (what?!), and I wanted to do something a bit more to say thank you to all of you for putting up with me while I’m on my bullshit. So I went back through my favorite episodes and made some gifs for you, too! 

Here you go. Hope you like it!!

Gigi’s Top 10 Queliot Moments (YMMV):

10. This is from 1x03, Consequences of Advanced Spellcasting, and… it’s such a great breathing space. This whole episode, the Eliot + Quentin sideplot to retrieve the book was a delight, and it only happened because Eliot is so far gone on this boy. He could have taken literally any of the Physical Kids with him, but no, he’s got a crush on the super cute nerd that just moved in and so it HAS to be Q that comes with him. Eliot is highkey flirting with Quentin here, both as emotional support, and - I will maintain until my dying day - if Kady hadn’t blown the hinges off that door he was planning to make a move on Q that afternoon.

9. I have so many feelings???? This is from 2x01, Knight of Crowns. Things are complex interpersonally between the whole gang right now, but out of everyone parting ways with Eliot, Q is who we get to see saying goodbye. Eliot is actually high king now, and he’s not any less depressed, or damaged emotionally or mentally. It didn’t immediately fix him like he wanted (much like how magic didn’t immediately fix Quentin, but that’s a meta for another time), and now he’s staring down being all that and an unknown future ruling this frankly odd kingdom (from books he apparently never bothered to read? El, baby. SMH.) potentially for the rest of his life without his friends. The two of them are so tender, Q initially leaning against Eliot to provide support, and then he doesn’t hesitate even a moment when Eliot asks for a hug. What at that point could be the very last hug he ever gets from Quentin in this lifetime. There is such a depth of feeling here between the two of them and I’m so glad the show gave us this (in S2! I’m!).

8.  1x11, Remedial Battle Magic. Look at our babies and how happy they are?! I know they’re drunk on wine and emotions and about to seriously fuck their friendships up, but have they ever gotten a moment to breathe and be happy in each other’s presence since this? They haven’t. It’s been arguments and recriminations and quests and beasts and averting world-ending disasters since they woke up from this night. So I treasure this moment of soft smiles and touches (even Margo, I am not opposed to Marqueliot in this list at all). And of course, the threesome it is leading up to, and all of the implications and interpretations of that night that they take forward into the series with them.

7. “I’m trying to tell you, you are not alone here.” From 1x02, The Source of Magic, this bonding scene has always felt very profound to me. These two boys have literally known each other, what, less than a week now? And here is Eliot “feelings are for other people” Waugh, opening up about his past traumas to try and connect with Quentin. The only other person we’ve ever seen him do this with is Mike - Eliot’s other love interest - and we know he told Margo during their Trials. This is Q confessing his biggest fear - that if he loses magic, he will lose his tenuous hold on his mental health - and Eliot reciprocating that confession: inducting Q into the very, very select circle of Eliot’s confidantes. This is each of them accepting some measure of comfort from the presence and understanding of the other, and a moment that underpins their entire relationship from this moment forward.

6. I’m cheating with this one, but I wanted to show both sides of this dynamic, and Quentin and Eliot have not had a chance to fight for their relationship together in the main timeline yet, so these will have to work for now. The first gif is from 4x06, A Timeline and Place, and the second is from 3x13, Will You Play With Me? It’s so, so important to see these moments - even if our boys are dumb and they don’t start fighting until the very last second - when they are willing to lay down everything, and burn down the world for each other. Quentin will NOT let the Monster kill Eliot’s body, and Eliot will NOT let Quentin throw away his future to play jailer to a sociopathic child-god. When push comes to shove, they will choose each other every time. Now if we could only get them to do that when the stakes aren’t life and death, am I right?

5. Another moment from 2x01, Knight of Crowns. This coronation scene is just… Remember that they are fractured leading up to this: we’re coming right off of the fall out from the threesome, and Eliot has been spiraling for episodes now. But then we get this super tender declaration from Quentin: “So, destiny is– it’s bullshit…. For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be a really good king.” And Eliot’s eyes just, light up, his whole face lifts. Because here is someone who believes in him, wholly and truly. Even after everything they just fucked up together, and separately, Q (someonee good and true) has faith in Eliot, and it’s infectious. They’re both looking at each other here like no one else exists in the world, like nothing is important in this moment except each other. And thats?? Beautiful?!

4. I fucking love this shot. Q kicking over those tiles and then saying “Oops.” is a whole-ass mood. Okay, so this is obviously from 3x05, A Life in the Day, and I could easily have made and entire top 10 list of JUST moments from this sequence because it’s all SO AMAZING. The beauty of all life, amiright? But this moment is so important to me. Making a conscious choice, every day to choose this quest and choose each other takes a toll. Ask anyone you know who’s been in a committed relationship for years. Sometimes it’s just fucking hard. They’ve been at this for so long that their clothes from Earth (which, I’ll remind you, they were still wearing at their 1 year anniversary) have worn thin, and they’re wearing traditional Fillorian garb. This was supposed to be over years ago, but they’re still going.  And Q is struggling. And Eliot is struggling. And they argue, but neither of them walks away. I always have to stop and pause at this part of the episode, because this is so domestic and realistic that it makes me cry. And if I start crying here, I’m useless for the rest of the sequence once we get to Arielle and Teddy.

3. 1x01, Unauthorized Magic. So, so many people have talked about Q and El’s first meeting, how Eliot spread himself out on the Brakebills sign elegantly and Quentin’s one bisexual braincell shorted out to the point where, for a moment, he couldn’t even words. But I so rarely see people talk about this moment, when Quentin asks Eliot if he’s hallucinating. This look, right here, is so soft, and sweet. I’m sure Eliot gets hit on all the time, and he was 100% flirting with Quentin when he jumped off that sign and gave him an “I could eat you up” once over. But this is the moment Eliot decided that Margo needed to know about the cute new boy who thought Eliot was exactly the kind of person he would dream into existence, if he made those kinds of decisions. Right here. The beginning of it all.

2. Back to 3x05, A Life in the Day, and if you’re surprised this is my #2 moment you must be new here. This is a kiss that has been brewing for a long time. One not rooted in emotion bottles, and not one that can be passed off as being too drunk to know what you’re doing. Quentin sets his cup down, and starts to say something, but ends up finishing his thought with this kiss. It’s short, but not tentative, and Eliot is… look at his face. He’s surprised, because he’s pretty sure they fucked up their chances at this a season and a half ago. But Q is there and he’s not apologizing and he’s not panicking, and that gives Eliot the courage to reach out and pull Q back in. And for a little while, it’s not about the quest, it’s not about defeating a monster, it’s not about fixing anything they’ve fucked up. This is just about them. 

1. “Fifty years. Who gets that kind of proof of concept? Peaches and plums, motherfucker. I’m alive in here!” 4x05, Escape from the Happy Place.So, this scene is where I live now, my trashcan, if you will, with these dumb boys and their dumb faces. Eliot’s absolutely perfect timing, and his delight to see Quentin is just- Just beaming out of his face here. This is the first of many chances he’s going to have to set the record straight, and he does it with style. This was a declaration of love - peaches and plums - and one that only Eliot would be able to give, and only Quentin would be able to understand. Q has been so beat down and defeated this episode, like he’s walking through a world that has faded into black and white, but we can see the moment he understands and the light comes back into his eyes. “Eliot’s alive. He’s alive.”

Honorable mentions to: “I’m Team Eliot.”, “Could I maybe have Eliot back?”, “I find you, and I don’t say magic is real, but I do seduce you”, and the extended throne room scene from 3x05/4x05 - which only didn’t make the list because I couldn’t pick a single shot to slice up for a gif.

[highkingfen]

@cldfiredrgn says:  Also, did you watch the one from today?  Aren't you mad about the log baby reference?  Fen grew past this.  She had a whole emotional arc that these promos are completely ignoring.  You love this character, which is fine, but don't seem to care that her emotional journey is getting canned for one note knife jokes.

I will not address yesterday's video because I refuse to go in the debate once again. But here to answer your second part of the question 

There are many things. I was kind of happy to see log baby? Not in a YAY an old joke but how it showed that despite what she showed, this whole fairy-fray thing has still affected her and that part of her still have an attachment to an object that helped her through a hard and not so glorious time. Haven’t we all objects that reflect or remind us of a hard time or a trauma and yet we are unable to give them away easily? I carried some of my abusive ex stuff until I moved last year and the year I have been away from him for over 7 years and now I am married to another man that makes me happy. And it had been a hard thing to throw away things that reminded me of who I use to be. I kept it not as a way to traumatize me, but as a reminder of how far I’ve come from. If Fen is not ready to say goodbye to this part of her life, where no one really helped her and where she never had any psychological support from anyone, I get it. 

It shows that those are Adlibs and it is easy to go in easy-funny Fen love knife thing. Especially when you are told ‘’hey do a minute love video with this person GO.’’ I think Brittany went with easier humour than we know the show to be able of but I am deciding not to judge her for that choice. She was not scripted and not everyone can be profoundly deep while improvising. Me being the first. 

Now for today's video here how I see it. In the first video, she says she has three bars here to Penny and we know that s05e02 description is Fen has three bars.  In my opinion, Fen will be vlogging from Earth and they will find her video or something in the second episode. 

If we go to this logic, Fen decided that this was the side of her that she wanted to show online and not the other side, and that's her choice. I mean, do you think I am always this bubbly, bunny loving, happy and caring person people believe me to be? Not always. I have more than one side of myself that most of the internet doesn't see. In fact, I actively decided to show up a kinder, happier and more compassionate part of myself on the internet. I am trying so hard not to go into the dark bad part of me that wants to explode on people being unfair, being mean to annon that cuss at me and do edit of Q’s dead just cause I know I will get reaction out of it (in fact I decided not to edit that part as much as I can cause I understand it can be triggering for many, even if it means I can’t do an edit idea i had). IF we were in a world with Fillory existed, that would be the only side of Fen we would see and that is it. But isn’t that what internet presence is?

We can also complain that Eliot can be joked as being the drunk guy, Margo being the bitch, Josh being the drug-addict. Especially in a promo. Hell it took me doing my Fillorians United podcast to start appreciating Josh and to see him as more than a drug-comedic-relief. I believe fans know that Fen is more than a knife and log baby. As we know that Margo isn’t just a bitch or Eliot drowning his sorrow without fear of consequences.  

Anyway, I hope you see my point of view. You might not. It’s ok. Many people do not like Fen. But despite the many mistakes there is in those promo videos, I decided to still love her.