#this is a fictional story i’m begging y’all to think for three seconds and be creative

[cookie-de-baunilha]

[outlander spoilers; books 7-9]

it’s mind-boggling to me how some fans love to undermine the theories about claire being a direct descendant from fersali or straight up don’t want her to be their descendant (nor do they want fergus to be st. germain’s son)

to each their own etc but why are people so BORING why do they hate FUN jfc

istg that’s one of the few interesting/intriguing storylines in these later books

AND

it would be so cool and sweet to have them as claire’s ancestors??? think about how that would fit into the (found) family + fate bound theme of the story

not to mention her being a descendant from both paul rakoczy aka le comte st. germain and laoghaire???? absolutely hilarious

i hope the show writers do a good job with this storyline because it has a lot of potential, but in the meantime i have to read fans crying “but there’s no time for it!!!!” and in the same breath saying how they “need to do the bear attack” in s8 LIKE PLEASE SHUT UPPPPP

[dirtybitfic]

Road trip

Matt sturniolo fan fiction

-smutttttt,kinda long story might be a couple parts lols

(Contains- touching,teasing , gas station fight , dirty talk etc.and I think the rest of the dirty nasty will be in part 2)

Y/n pov-

Me and Matt have been dreaming of taking a road trip to Vail Colorado for years. Ever since we were about 14 me and Matt have just understood each other in a way that non of our other friends did . We have the same interests and music taste and we also both struggle with mental health and throughout the years we’ve helped each other through it a lot .

When Matt got his license we started talking about all the places we’d love to go to and Colorado was always our biggest dream especially during Christmas time since we both love Christmas and they always decorate their city’s and towns so perfectly that they look like the perfect hallmark Christmas movie towns.

As we got older we started to get more serious about planning a get away for a couple weeks but our parents didn’t think that it would be a good idea until we were at least out of high school which we understood and respected. This past year we all turned 20 and me and matt, Chris and nicks birthdays are only two months apart we decided to do a big conjoined party .

Chris and Nick said they had a big surprise for me and Matt and that they wanted us to open their presents after everyone had left the party . We were both slightly confused but we were excited to see what it would be.

After everyone had left Chris and Nick had us sit down on the couch as they placed bags in our hands .

Me and Matt opened them at the same time and at first we were both confused and laughing because the first thing in the bags were matching beanies .

“Chris why did you make us wait for matching beanies” I asked laughing .

“Y/n you gotta keep opening then it will make sense in a second” Nick said giving me a big smile.

We both looked at each other and reached into the bottom of the bag finding envelopes .

I opened mine first and it was a printed out picture of a gorgeous cabin in the mountains of Colorado.

“Okayyy a cabin ? What did y’all buy a mountain or something” I ask still slightly confused.

“Nooo y/n god turn it over “ Chris says lightly smacking my head.

I laughed and turned it over .

“OMG YOU DID NOT” I said excitedly realizing it was and air bnb in vail Colorado.

“SURE FUCKIN DID KID” Chris yelled back at me smiling.

“We’ll Matt you gotta open yours now” Nick says smiling at him clapping his hands.

“Okay okay give me a second “ Matt says as he opens the envelope.

“YOU RENTED MY DREAM CAR WTF GUYS” he says looking up smiling adorably.

“We sure fucking did dude. We rented you guys the car for 4 weeks . You guys have the air bnb for three weeks in December . We wanted you guys to have the perfect trip you’ve always dreamed of “ Nick says .

I immediately got up and ran at Nick giving him the biggest hug then Chris .

“Guyyyys thank you so much I love it and I love you” I said getting a little teary eyed feeling so overwhelmed.

“Really guys thank you this is better than we could have imagined “ Matt says giving his brothers a hug.

“How did you guys afford this like Jesus this couldn’t have been cheap” I say a little worried for their bank accounts.

“ eh you know we have just been saving for a while but thank our fans for that cause no way would we be able to afford this if our YouTube wasn’t doing so good” Chris says .

“We’ll thank you again this means the world to me i don’t know how I’ll ever repay you guys” I say as tears stream down my face.

“Y/n don’t cry “ Nick says bringing me in for a hug .

“I’m sorry I’m just so happy “ I say laughing a little bit wiping my tears away.

“ we’ll we’re glad you like our present “

“LOVE IT” I corrected Chris.

We all laughed and went to bed .

Now it’s a week away from December and I’m starting to get super excited our trip starts at the begging of December and I need to start packing since we’ll be gone for so mf long.

I decided to FaceTime Matt to see if he would go shopping with me for some more outfits I’ll need .

*ft Matt

(Matt picks up- Matt’s blue , y/n is pink)

Hey what’s up

Hey I just wanted to see if you were up to do a little shopping with me I need to get some more winter outfits for the trip

Yeah of course you want me to come get you

Yeah either way I can get you or you can get me doesn’t matter to me

Okay I’ll come get you In say 10 minutes I know you just love to be a passenger princess

Yeah your right sounds good

Okay I’ll text you when I’m outside

Okay see you in a bit love you

Love you too bye

(Call ends)

After about 15 minutes Matt texted me that he was outside so I put my shoes on and ran down stairs. I locked my door behind me and hopped into the car.

“Hey so where you thinkin the mall” Matt asks

“Sadly yes that’s where all the good stores are” I said sadly he knows I hate the mall.

“Alright let’s go then” Matt says as he starts to put in directions to the mall .

He tells me to connect to aux and play some music .

As come here was ending we were pulling into a spot and Matt turned off the car .

We got out and started walking in after we did a little shopping we ended up grabbing some food and parked to eat.

I cant believe our dream trip is only 4 days way

I know I literally can’t wait I don’t know how I’m gonna sleep I’m getting to excited

No seriously god we’ve been dreaming of this for so long I just can’t believe we’re finally getting to go. But what are you telling the fans since you’ll be gone for so long

Oh we pre filled a good amount of our videos for the next couple weeks but I thought it would be fun to do at-least one vlog with you while we’re on our trip you know most of the fans like you

Awww well that actually could be really fun

Yeah they can see us running around in the snow being fucking stupid that’ll be really fun

Oh yeah can’t wait for them to see me snipe you with a snow ball

Oh really

Oh yeah just wait you’ll never know when I’ll get you I’m really sneaky you know

Yeah yeah whatever

We both laughed and after we finished our food we threw away our trash and he dropped me off at home.

Fast forward 4days——

I finally fished packing last night thank god and I just woke up to my alarm it’s currently 4 am me and Matt decided to get and early start since we’ll be driving pretty far to get to Vail and we want as much day driving time as we can get.

Vail Colorado is about 30 hours from Boston so it’s gonna a loooong drive.

-incoming call from Matt

Hey what’s up

Hey I just picked up the car and holy fuck it’s amazing but I’m otw to get you now I’ll be there in a bout 15.

Okay see you then I’ll make sure to have all my shit down stairs by the time you get here

Okay see you in a bit

Yep byeeee

Call ends

I started bringing all my stuff down and grabbed a blanket for the car just in case one of us gets cold and filled up my water bottle and then put on my shoes .

Matt just texted me he was here and I started to grab some of my bags to take them out to the car.

When I opened the door I audible gasped the car was … gorgeous.

(A BABY BLUE BRONCO FUCK YESSSS MUTHA FUCKAAA)

Matt got out and helped me grab my bags .

Omg Matt the car is so prefect

I know right I can’t believe we get to drive this for 4 weeks

Yeah good thing you make good money cause gas isn’t gonna be cheap

True true

We got my stuff into the back after I locked the door .

Hey my mom made you a breakfast sandwich and that matcha shit you love I set it on the back seat

Awww she is so sweet she didn’t have to do that

I know but she wanted to she always says “y/n is the daughter I never had” you know sometimes we think she loves you more than us

Hey you know that’s not true but seriously I’m gonna text her and tell her thank you

After we hit the road we’ve been sitting in comfortable silence listening to my playlist I made .

Was playing as I started to get hot a little bit surprisingly I thought I’d be cold but my dumbass did what every girl does and wore nothing under my sweatshirt. I started to get uncomfortable and shift around in my seat which Matt noticed pretty easily .

Hey you good you keep shifting around

Yeah just getting a little hot

Well take of your sweatshirt then

I… can’t (I say awkwardly)

Why not?

Because I have nothing underneath

Y/n I don’t care if your just in your bra I don’t want you to be uncomfortable

No Matt I mean I have … nothing on underneath

Ohh ohh shit ummm well you could always just take your pants off unless that’s weird then idk what to tell ya

I mean ig as long as it’s not weird for you

No not at all get comfortable

I started to take my pants off and caught Matt glancing over making my face go red . It’s not like he hasn’t seen me in a bikini but I’m wearing a thong which for some reason feels a bit more intimate to see me in .

Matt clears his throat as I look over at him after I finally get my pants off and throw them in the back seat.

I decide to tease him a little bit cause I think it’s funny

What’s the matter Matt

What oh um nothing just getting a bit hot myself

Here I’ll help you get your sweatshirt off

Oh okay (he says as I help him pull his arms out and pull it over his head )

I gasp quickly realizing he had nothing on under his either. I don’t think he heard me though but god his tattood arm gripping that steering wheel and his big veiny hands . NO WTF AM I THINKING THATS MY BEST FRIEND.

I snap out of my trans to look away but he glanced over at me smirking a little bit.

Why were you staring at my hands y/n

What I wasn’t I don’t know what your talking about

Okay so what were you starring at then hmm

God I have to think fast I’m just gonna sayyyy

Yo-your tattoos I was just like looking at them

Oh well alright

Their just really cool

I moved my hand to trance over his key tattoo

I love this one

Oh really why?

I don’t know I just do

He suddenly moves his hand off the steering wheel I didn’t understand why at first but he moved it so I could trace over his other ones.

I really like this one too -I say tracing over his dog one with its mouth open

And why do you like that one or are you just gonna say . He tries to mock my voice “idk I just do”

First of all I do not sound like that you asshole and no I was actually gonna say I like it because it has a dark vibe and I love tattoos like that it reminds me of this hellhound tattoo I wanna get

Oh really well that’s cool . You gotta show me that Pinterest board you have all your inspiration on cause your tattoos are pretty cool

He says as he moved his hand to my thigh racing the dark moth I got for my first tattoo . The way he’s tracing it has my breathing becoming uneven and my heart starts to race. Idk why I’m feeling this way but Jesus I’m getting wet . It feel wrong but it feels so good.

I cant believe you got your first one on your thigh and it’s big too

Yeah idk I just felt like it was the right place for it

It didn’t hurt?

No it felt good to be honest

Ohh your one of those people huh?

What the Fuck does that mean

You just like pain that’s all

Oh ummm ye-yeah I guess I like the feeling of tattoos a lot honestly I almost fell asleep getting all of mine

Mmm interesting

Why is that interesting

No reason

Yeah okay whatever

God if only he knew . Me and Matt have never really talked about our sex lives with each other I mean sure we talked about when we both lost our virginity but other than that it’s not really our typical conversation.

Their was one time he was on my phone looking for a picture and he almost went into my notes app and I screamed at him so fast to not read anything In there . He obviously got scared and threw my phone at me and apologized but the reason I didn’t want him going in there is because my top note is my kink list .

YEAH MY FUCKING KINK LIST . That’s the last thing you want your best friend of like 15 years to read . He tries to ask me why I got so defensive over it sometimes but I’m to awkward to tell him why. Honestly if he read them I’m scared he’d think I was a freak which I mean I’m a freak in the bed but not as a person u mean you know what I mean.

As I’m deep in my thoughts Matt starts to move his hand further up my thigh which causes me to gasp and snap my thighs shut.

Sorry sorry

N-no your fine it just caught me by surprise is all

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable

He try’s pulling his hand back down but my thighs have his hand locked in

No your fine you didn’t I just ummm I mean you know I have no pants on sooo

Oh trust me I know

He says looking at me with a sly smirk I didn’t know what he meant but my thighs slowly opened back up letting his hand free.

AHHH SHIT BITCH I yelled out this is one of our favorite songs to sing in the car we always goof off and it just puts us in a good mood.

And just when it hit me

He sung as he gently smacked my thigh jokingly causing me to jolt and laugh a little .

PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY

PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC RIGHTT

Yesss Matt

I said as I laughed a little and we kept singing along until the song ended I started to get a little thirsty .

Hey do you got any drinks in the back

Oh yeah I packed you a couple doctor peppers in the little cooler can you grab me one of the Pepsis he says pointing to the little black cooler behind my seat.

Yeah one sec .

I unbuckling and turned in my seat trying to reach back to the cooler but the car was a lot bigger than I realized so I kinda had to bend over the middle console to reach as I was reaching over I could feel his eyes on me and as a joke I giggled my hips a little making my ass move . But what Matt did next shocked me .

I felt his hand smack down on my ass hard causing me to scream out from shock and the sting since it was straight skin to skin contact.

MATT

HEY IF YOUR GONNA PUT IT IN MY FACE LIKE THAT IMA SMACK IT

He says putting his hand up in defense . I sat back down and handed him his Pepsi .

You know I know I shouldn’t say this but… you have a nice ass

Oh I…th-thank you

I tried to hide the blush that was creeping on my face .

I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that

No no It’s fine you just made blush

I said laughing a little bit

Oh cute he said smirking at me

Oh shut up

I said shoving his arm playfully .

Do you mind if I take a little nap

No not at all we got a long while to go to so get some sleep I’ll wake you up when I stop for gas in a bit so you can pee and stuff

Okay

I got comfortable and dozed off .

I started to have a wet dream about Matt . He was touching me in places that felt so good and he was making me call him daddy and all this crazy shit and I was just getting to the good party when I got woken up by Matt shaking me telling me we were at the gas station.

Hey I’m stopping for gas you wanna wait her while I pump the gas and then we can go inside to pee and grab some snacks

Huh oh yeah yeah let me put my pants on

I reached back still half asleep trying to find my pants and I grabbed them and slid them back on.

I waited while he pumped the gas then we went inside. I didn’t relize I had to pee so bad until I got to bathroom and Jesus Christ I felt a lot better after I finished I walked back out looking for Matt seeing he was over by the drink section I started to walk over when I bumped into someone.

Oh my god I’m so sorry I said to whoever I bumped into

Yeah you should be fucking sorry princess

The guy says raising his voice at me causing me to take a step back kinda shocked

You don’t have to be a dick it was an accident

Don’t raise your voice at me sweetheart that’s not gonna end well for you he says getting In my face.

I started to get anxious and tears started to well up in my eyes I tried to keep them in to not show this guy I was scared of him.

Awwww you gonna fucking cry

I started looking back to find Matt but I didn’t see him anymore . Fuck he probably thinks I just went back to the car.

I …

You what bitch he spit the words out in my face as he towered over me . My fight or flight kicked in and I started to run away to the door to get to the car.

I opened the door and got half way across the parking lot before I got yanked back by my hair.

Where you going sweetheart. What did I scare you huh he said in my ear making me feel sick.

God where is Matt I started to say in my head as the tears started to stream down my face and I reached back to get the guy to let go of my hair .

That made him pull harder causing me to wine from the pain.

He kept saying mean ass shit in my ear but I was starting to have a panic attack which caused my hearing to go out all the sudden I saw Matt running at the guy and shoving him off me . Matt picked me up like I was nothing speed walking back to the car I was shaking in his arms .

He opened the door and set me down before closing the door and running to his side I’ve never seen him move so fast in my life I just curled into a ball crying from shock of what the actual Fuck just happened .

I’m so sorry y/n I thought you came back to the car or where still in the bathroom I would have never left you in there alone

I… I k-know you wou-wouldn’t I’m okay I - pr-promise I’m just sh-shaken up a b-bit

I know sweet girl I’m so sorry really come here

He said as he pulled me into him engulfing me in a big hug instinctively I crawled over the middle and sat on his lap sideways just wanting him to hold me for a second .

Shhhh it’s okay I got you

Matt says as he rubs my hair and holds me close

I smilled a little as I felt my body stop shaking and my nerves starting to calm weirdly Matt just has that effect on me he always knows how to calm me down.

After a bit I start to laugh a little .

What why are you laughing he said with a small chuckle

I’m a 20 year old woman sitting in your lap crying like your my dad and I’m a little girl having a nightmare it’s just kinda funny

I mean yeah when you put it like that

Okay I think I’ve calmed down thank you Matt

Of course pumpkin he says squishing my cheeks

MATT WHAT THE FUCK I say bursting out laughing

What I was just acting like a dad as a joke from what you said

Okay I mean it was funny and it cheered me up so

Good now get your cute little ass back in your seat so we can get going

Okay okay I’m goingggg

I said with a big smile and blushing checks. Did he just call me CUTE. Omfg he is gonna be the death of me . First my wet dream now this Fuck me this is gonna be a longggg trip.

I qued up some music and layed back in my seat and started getting hot again so I took off my pants. I guess the ac doesn’t work to well in here cause Jesus the heat gets hotter than a mother fucker and unless we wanna roll down the windows we aren’t cooling off anytime soon.

Started playing and I was just shaking my head along reading a couple text from some friends I had missed during my nap.

So uhh can I ask you something

Yeah ofc

What exactly made that guy grab you like that

Well um I had just come out of the bathroom and I was heading over to you by the drinks where you were and I accidentally bumped into him and then he started to get mad and all up in my face so I ran out the door and then he kinda I just chased me

damn all over you bumping into him

Yep I guess so

What a psycho

Yeah cause wtf I even said sorry like 5 times

Well at-least your okay

Yeah thank god you came to the rescue

Also uhhhh what we’re you dreaming about earlier

Oh uhhh why I shifted awkwardly in my chair wandering why he’d wanna know

Well you were kinda sleep talking a little bit

Uh oh what um what did I say

I was getting really fucking nervous now

Well um you said my name a couple times and then well you said daddy a couple times too

Ahahah ohhhh um weirdddddd yeah idk why I said that

Yeah hmmmmm what we’re you dreaming

He said more in a demanding tone

You really wanna know I asked nervously

Yeah I do

Okay I was uhh kind of having a wet dream

Ohhh I see was it about me

Maaaatt stooop

What come on just tell me now I really wanna know

Okay yeah you were in it

Damn well was it good

Mhm yeah sure ig can we move on

No no I wanna know the details

Keep your eyes on the road Mathew

Okay okay if I keep my eyes in the road will you tell me what happened

Yes I’ll tell you

Okay my eyes are glued to this rode now speak

Okay um well you were you know telling me how hot I was and you were asking me if I liked being fucked like a slut and you know I was like yes and you said yes what and I was like yes matt cause I didn’t know what you wanted me to say and you said nope try again and I said yes daddy and you know you started touching me and then you asked me to read my list of kinks to you and so I did and then yeah the dream ended .

Well uhhh I- um

I looked over and saw his face was a little red and he was shifting in his seat.

Yeah well you just begged me to tell you sooo

Yeah well your right I did. Was it at-least a good dream

Yeah yeah it was uh good

Oh yeah . So uhh is that kink list in your notes app

I- uh — ye-yeah

Read it to me

What Matt no that’s so embarrassing

What no it’s not

Why do you wanna know my kinks Matthew

I just do okay

Okay okay fine but you can’t judge me

I would never judge you y/n

Okay let me open it up real quick okay ummm god this is so embarrassing

Oh come on they can’t be that bad

Okay um

Humiliation, dominant x submissive , role play, whips, sadism,exhibitionism,dirty talk, auralism, orgasm control, impact play, consensual non consensual, praise kink, degradation by words, knife play, blood kink and uhh yeah that’s it .

Oh wow ummm alright

So uhhh the dominant one do you like to be the dominant or like

Oh god no I’m absolutely the submissive

Okay good

Good what do you mean good

Oh nothing nothing . So uh what’s consensual non consensual?

Well um I don’t know how to explain it well let me look up the definition, okay well it says it’s a style of bdsm where both people agree but one person acts in non consensual behaviors.

Oh so like if I held you down and told you to take it while you struggle and try to get away would that be that

Oh I uh y-yeah that seems pretty on point yep

At this point I could feel how wet I had become from that sentence coming out of him mouth just imagining him do that made me wanna scream.

I didn’t realize I had been squeezing my thighs together but he did.

Aww is someone getting a little worked up

No Matt shut up

Really then show me proof that you are or aren’t

What do you mean

Spread your legs

What

Spread you fucking legs

He said as he put his hand on my thigh prying them apart.

My breathe hitched as I looked down at his hand moving slowly up my leg.

His fingers hit the lace of the thong over my soaking wet core causing a small wine to escape my lips.

Now why would you lie to me hmm your so wet

I didn’t lie I just didn’t tell you the truth I said then realized that’s the exact definition of fucking lying

So you fucking lied sweetheart he said smirking over at me

Yeah I guess I lied

If I touch you will you be a good girl and stay quite for me

Okay PART 2 coming soooooon…

💋

[estrellami-1]

@every-aj-needs-an-angel made “favorite lines from each chapter” posts and I’ve decided to do the same. Let me know if you don’t want to be tagged, lovely! ❤️

Chapter 1

“Ooh, and they’re saying you got your asshole bleached.”

“That one is true,” Alex says through a mouthful of chocolate with sprinkles.

“Thought so,” June says without looking up.

Just. Their sibling relationship is SO perfect. I’m in love.

Given the choice, he’d rather read one of the hundreds of glowing pieces of fan fiction about him on the internet, the up-to-eleven version of himself with devastating charm and unbelievable physical stamina, but June flat out refuses to read those aloud to him, no matter how much he tries to bribe her.

Once again, PEAK sibling behavior. I’m obsessed.

They were seventeen and eighteen and doomed from the start, both convinced they were the smartest person in any room. Alex has since conceded Nora is 100 percent smarter than him and definitely too smart to have ever dated him.

I need a Nora ASAP please. She’s fantastic. The second line has lived in my brain rent-free since I first read it.

“‘Arch nemesis’ implies he’s actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck- up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself.”

“Woof.”

“I’m just saying.”

Oh, Alex. You have no idea.

“Ew, you have Garden State on your watch list? Wow, how’s film school in 2005 going?”

“I hate you.”

“Hmm, I know.”

Actual footage of me and my youngest brother istg

Amy, his mother’s favorite Secret Service agent, a former Navy SEAL who is rumored around DC to have killed several men, sits across the aisle. She’s got a bulletproof titanium case of crafting supplies open on the couch next to her and is serenely embroidering flowers onto a napkin. Alex has seen her stab someone in the kneecap with a very similar embroidery needle.

I’m in love with all of this. Amy is who I aspire to be.

“Risk assessment: FSOTUS failing to check himself before he wrecks himself will result in greater than five hundred civilian casualties. Ninety-eight percent probability of Prince Henry looking like a total dreamboat. Seventy- eight percent probability of Alex getting himself banned from the United Kingdom forever.”

“Those are better odds than I expected,” June observes.

Alex laughs, and the plane soars on.

Once again where do I get a Nora. I love her.

“Do either of y’all know what a viscount is?” June is saying, halfway through a cucumber sandwich. “I’ve met like, five of them, and I keep smiling politely as if I know what it means when they say it. Alex, you took comparative international governmental relational things. Whatever. What are they?”

“I think it’s that thing when a vampire creates an army of crazed sex waifs and starts his own ruling body,” he says.

“That sounds right,” Nora says…

“I wish I were a viscount,” June says. “I could have my sex waifs deal with my emails.”

“Are sex waifs good with professional correspondence?” Alex asks.

Nora’s napkin has begun to resemble a bird. “I think it could be an interesting approach. Their emails would be all tragic and wanton.” She tries on a breathless, husky voice. “‘Oh, please, I beg you, take me—take me to lunch to discuss fabric samples, you beast!’”

“Could be weirdly effective,” Alex notes.

“Something is wrong with both of you,” June says gently.

I’m somehow all three of them. I love this exchange SO much.

His face is still infuriatingly symmetrical.

Alex. Buddy. You oblivious fuck.

“Aw, little buddy,” Nora says. She reaches over and pats his hand. “It’s cute how you think everything is about you.”

“It should be, honestly.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Once again I’m in love with Nora.

For a second, all he can think as he stares up at the ceiling while covered in frosting and champagne is that at least Henry’s dance with June won’t be the biggest story to come out of the royal wedding.

His next thought is that his mother is going to murder him in cold blood.

Alex worrying about the important things first.

[seyaryminamoto]

Masterpost: answering a single anon in a single post

So. I wasn’t going to answer asks today but frankly, considering what I should be writing I’d rather answer asks, might actually get a laugh out of it. Most of all, because of what I intend to answer here.

To spare y’all from the pain and annoyance of having to read through any of my answers to we-know-who, I’m going to do it differently this time. All in one post. Because frankly, filling my blog with their TWENTY asks, no less (and it’s official this time, used to be sixteen but then I reblogged that post about conflict in stories and they went wild, as usual) isn’t worth anyone’s time. Hell, it’s not even worth mine, but procrastination is overpowering.

Here we go. If you’re not the anon in question and still want to read this, I hope you have fun.

This is a free world. That means multiple things some people can’t seem to accept. One such thing is that people have no obligation to even interact with each other, let alone to do what others demand of them, especially when they don’t want to. The fact is, being harassed (because, yes, there’s no other word for it) by someone has been a pretty irritating and stressful thing for me, to the point where it has impacted my ability to write...

And the harasser doesn’t give a single fuck about it and just keeps going :’)

With such introduction, I decide to engage my least favorite person in this site once again because clearly, ignoring them, blocking them, closing asks, deleting and rewriting reviews, is still not enough to get across the message that reiterating an opinion a million times doesn’t automatically make it more valid. So let’s see just what’s going on with this very much desperate person who apparently can’t stop seeking my attention:

First of all, I asked this person, point-blank, to address their asks, if they would continue sending them, to my main blog. Let’s see how that request turned out:

Oh my, astonishing! They sent it to Gladiator’s blog instead! And what a bigger shock: they’re, as usual, trying to control and direct what I write and how I write it. While sprinkling empty compliments that don’t mean a thing, such as claiming RESPECT for me and my work when every single ask they’ve sent is an outright disrespectful act against me, considering how many times I’ve requested, directly, that they stop this, and how many times they’ve ignored me. It even is extra poignant considering my request for them to send asks to my main blog instead, and yet they deliberately sent it to Gladiator’s blog. This is what RESPECT looks like, in this anon’s head. Fascinating stuff, isn’t it?

And then comes the mad onslaught that left me facedesking for days:

... I mean. Can someone please read this and tell me the person on the other side, with their vague condition, whatever it may be, has any idea what an apology even MEANS? 

For someone who’s so obsessed with alleged consistency, you’re damn bad at it yourself, Anon. You can’t send four asks in a row, to the WRONG BLOG, demanding for explanations you don’t even care to read, because every single time I’ve taken your whining seriously you’ve disregarded all my responses and gone right back to the same BS as before, and THEN pretend you’re here TO APOLOGIZE.

You don’t feel any remorse. To this day, you don’t even KNOW what you did wrong. This is NOT expressing yourself: THIS IS HARASSMENT. Need me to define the word for you to understand what it means, seeing as it’s becoming abundantly clear your reading and interpretation skills are not the greatest?

Definitions of harassment:

1. (n) the act of tormenting by continued persistent attacks and criticism 2. (n)  a feeling of intense annoyance caused by being tormented

I’ve said it before: PEOPLE HAVE HAD COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS STORY, FAR MORE VALID THAN YOURS, AND I’VE NEVER REACTED THIS WAY. Care to guess why?

Because you NEVER stop. Because you keep going, constantly, never slowing down to think YOUR behavior is affecting a REAL LIFE HUMAN BEING. You’re obsessing over what happens in a fictional story that, by the way, is a fanfic, ergo, it obeys certain rules that general fiction does not. Among such rules is abiding by ORIGINAL characterization to a certain extent, and that means, hahaha, that Azula ISN’T an experienced character in any social or romantic situations because she ISN’T in canon, and there was no reason to change that, especially considering the worldbuilding I crafted, which makes it CRUCIAL for Azula to be careful with her virtue, despite she doesn’t want to be and realizes the whole notion of female virginal purity is absolute BULLSHIT.

But why am I explaining anything anyway? You won’t understand it, because you don’t want to. You claim, constantly, that you’re asking things OUT OF CURIOSITY, as if that makes ANYTHING better, when the truth is you’re just here to impose your cursed opinions on everyone else, especially me, and pretend you somehow own this fic and ship and your demands mean more than anyone else’s. Meanwhile, oh, I understand you PERFECTLY: you don’t want Sokka to ever have any experiences with any other women because you only believe in pure, untainted love of virgins who wait for each other and don’t ever make mistakes or are forced into unwanted situations. Because, again, you can’t understand that those sorts of things CAN happen. Because you don’t see there’s nuance to human beings, nuance I attempt to capture through my characters too.

I said it semi-jokingly, back in my past answers, now I say it directly: IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH THESE SITUATIONS AND CAN’T ACCEPT THEM, THIS STORY IS NOT FOR YOU.

An M-rated story doesn’t owe you any apologies for being what it is. An M-rated story, at the end of the day, is a STORY. You are a human being who should be capable of controlling not only your impulses but your reactions to things, at least to some degree, and yet you refuse to. You, in fact, continue to prove you CAN’T control yourself in the least because hey, just now, halfway through writing this post? I got THREE MORE ASKS by you. No less than three. And you finished them off, again, with a pretense that you’re going to stop pestering me...

... But hey. You said that at the end of the last ask I pasted up there. Hmm. And yet...

You came back, over and over and over again? :’)

RIGHT ON ALL ACCOUNTS! So... how do TWENTY ASKS, after claims that you’d finally stop, count as “regret”? You’re not changing at all, anon, because YOU DON’T WANT TO. You don’t, to this day, see what you did wrong. You don’t get it. And you won’t get it. So how about we just keep going with the next four?

Oh! But hey, you actually switched blogs this time. Super sweet of you to finally listen to ONE thing I said. Very nice.

I’ll just point out: I received the last NINE asks I’ve pasted here in a SINGLE DAY.

Nine. In one day.

I only ever got that many asks in a single go during review parties (admittedly, there were more than that, but still). The fact that you felt the need to send me NINE ASKS, to beg for forgiveness with a completely dishonest apology, is all the proof of harassment anyone could possibly ask for, right? If you weren’t an anon and at least had the GUTS to own up to your opinions, which you seem to consider absolutely sacred and completely correct, you’d have never gotten away with this. Ergo why you don’t have those guts, and why you keep sending anon reviews and asks too.

The fact that you’re so obsessed with this problem, to the point of believing Sokka’s best sex was with JUNE? We’ve literally finished an entire arc of Sokka and Azula banging across the Fire Nation with no restraint, with the two of them repeatedly remarking this is the best time they’ve ever had, and you’re so completely obsessed with this problem that you apparently think Sokka angrily fucking someone WHILE DECEIVING HIMSELF INTO THINKING IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE is... better? Are you FOR REAL? Are you seriously THAT BAD at reading?

Please, click here. I can’t even stand it anymore. It’s not even for my own sake but yours. You need it.

Also... you’re projecting so bad. Like, so bad. June’s teasing in that chapter is 100% intended to piss them off. The fact that she starts asking for Azula to lend her her “second boyfriend”, AKA Rui Shi, should tell you just how much stock June puts in what happened between her and Sokka: SHE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN. She’s honestly more entertained by pissing off Azula as a consequence of it than over the sex she had with Sokka, especially considering she even lost her temper with him after he started apologizing in 28. You’re so completely beside yourself you can’t see ANYTHING clearly?

If you REALLY need it spelled out, no, Sokka wasn’t June’s best sex. June has probably done anyone and everyone she ever wanted to, and chances are she absolutely found someone, or several someones, who actually wanted HER, for HER, just as much as she may have wanted them. And that, you insecure mess of a human being, would absolutely make for a much better lay than what she got with Sokka. Why don’t I outright state this in the story, you’ll ask? Because despite what you may believe, this story ISN’T a love triangle between Azula, Sokka and June! Oh my, the horror! We’ve literally spent 198 chapters building up the story and developing Azula and Sokka’s relationship but the ONE TIME encounter with June apparently makes her that pivotal for your whole existence?

Dude, I literally don’t look at 28 AT ALL these days, because I don’t care to. Because even when I wrote it, it hurt me so bad having written it that I was crazy about getting to everything else so I could put it behind me. Whenever I reference it, I do the same way I reference ANYTHING ELSE. The only person who seems to think I’m doing it to further torture anyone IS YOU. 

And yes, did I just say it hurt me too? Oh, my, what a SHOCKER! The fact is, that scene is only as intense as it is because I literally couldn’t bring myself to write it. It wasn’t until it came to mind that Sokka COULD imagine Azula in June’s place that I finally found the way to do it: it wasn’t just Sokka imagining Azula instead, it was ME. Because if it had been anything else? I wouldn’t have been able to write it at all. I basically wrote it as hatesex Sokkla because I NEEDED to in order to write it. “THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE IT?!?!?”, you’ll scream, I’m sure: BECAUSE I TREAT MY CHARACTERS AS HUMAN BEINGS WHO MAKE MISTAKES AND DO THINGS THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE. BECAUSE SOKKA WAS IN A DARK PLACE AND DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT AZULA WAS FEELING OR THINKING. BECAUSE AZULA WAS IMPULSIVE AND CONTROLLING AND COULDN’T REALIZE THAT THE MORE SHE TRIED TO FORCE SOKKA TO BEND TO HER WILL, THE MORE HE WOULD TRY TO BREAK FREE.

But all this is clearly too complex for you. Can’t even fathom understanding anything remotely close to characterization and conflict within relationships, no. You’re something else entirely.

And so, we move on to the post-apology Anon: you DO realize that forgiveness is something earned? I mean, it’s kinda funny because Sokka actually earned his own. He spent ages working for it, and even AFTER Azula told him he was forgiven, he still feels so bad about having hurt her that, to this day, he regrets it. Being FORGIVEN was not a condition for him to feel remorse. He regretted his actions because HE KNEW THEY WERE WRONG. Because he’s an actual, decent human being who, when faced with a catastrophic mistake, actually wants to amend it and wishes he had acted differently despite he can’t take anything back anymore.

But you? You can’t even begin to understand what regret means. I guess another dictionary definition would help?

Definitions of regret

1. (v) feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about

2. (v)  feel sad about the loss or absence of

3. (v)  express with regret

4. (v)  decline formally or politely

5. (n)  sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment

So, your attempts to beg for forgiveness fall completely flat. And I say it in plural, ATTEMPTS, because in case you think I’m daft and forgot your old reviews and asks, I didn’t: THIS ISN’T YOUR FIRST ATTEMPT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS BULLSHIT. I thought I should clarify that, because heh, you have claimed you won’t come back, you have claimed you’re sorry, you have said many platitudes in the past that actually had no meaning... and I could tell they didn’t, which is why I never answered them. Because there was no way someone who had exhibited such obsessive behavior would actually control themselves and get over their issues after MONTHS of persistent harassment.

And so, you didn’t disappoint, because I had zero expectations that you’d actually abide by your apologies. Empty apologies, again, because to this moment you don’t even know what you did wrong. You don’t get it. To put it in the way I did for someone else who talked to me about this mess:

You could be complaining to me about something else entirely. You could be here, demanding that I explain why I’ve been writing Sokka killing people, for instance. You could be disregarding all sense, reason, historical precedents and what-have-you as to why a warmongering, canonically genocidal nation like the Fire Nation would ever have a system like the Gladiator League and enslave other cultures to do their bidding. 

And if you came back with those complaints PERSISTENTLY, FOR A YEAR, I’D BE JUST AS ANGRY AS I AM NOW.

It’s NOT about the situation you’re throwing a fit over. It’s NOT about me having it out for you. It’s about YOU not knowing limits or boundaries, going as far as you constantly, consistently have, ever seeking to twist my story into whatever warped, fucked up perception you’ve developed over it, without ever slowing down to think that your actions and your behavior are affecting someone else. I’m not just a rambling robot who can’t seem to stop talking or writing or whatever you may think I am: I’m an actual person with a FUCKLOAD of problems, who literally just had the WORST year of her life, and you just decided to continue adding to the pile, never slowing down to consider that your feelings, and your opinions, and your pain, does NOT invalidate other people’s, let alone does it make you EXEMPT of hurting others. Which, heh, if you knew how to read, you could’ve even LEARNED this from Gladiator! :’D 

Because Azula, so hurt as she was, took to hurting Sokka too, in many, many ways. And Sokka, once he understood how wrongly he had judged Azula, simply let her hurt him because he thought he deserved everything she threw at him. Later on? Azula realizes all the pain she caused Sokka COULD have led him to choose the White Lotus over her. She’s in a life-or-death situation, unable to fight back, and the ONLY reason she doesn’t get screwed over and captured by the enemy is because Sokka decides she matters more to him than joining forces with sketchy people who are out for revenge. But what if she’d hurt him more than she had? What if she’d done WORSE than she did? Maybe he would’ve been so hurt too that, at this point, he would’ve chosen the White Lotus and not only abandoned her but handed her over to her nation’s enemies! :’) oh, the horror. Is it really that unthinkable? Why, it’s not to me. And why not? Because if Azula had been as unforgiving and unyielding as you are, if she had been so obsessive over whatever caused her pain and refused to move on... this story would SUCK. BADLY.

Makes you wonder what that says about your mentality, doesn’t it?

Alas, after all this digression as to why your behavior is absolutely appalling to me, let’s see what you did indeed, right after your absolutely shallow apology that was obviously not sincere, because you don’t regret having bothered me at all, you just regret that I won’t abide by your whining...

Is THIS what an apologetic, remorseful person looks like? Really, now? Honestly, if Sokka were half as bad as you are, he would’ve slept with half the Fire Nation by now while constantly coming back to Azula like “Oh woops did it again, sorry!”

Yes, I can honestly make the link pretty easily. Must be why you keep assuming he’ll ever be with someone else, because if you were in his place, you would do exactly that :’) beautiful how things just come full circle, isn’t it?

That ask came as a response to another, potentially ill-intended one, potentially sent by you too. An ask I answered with a whole list of unique things Sokka has done for Azula. Not only did you NOT understand the list’s purpose despite you may have even been the one to ask for it... but you took a line directly referencing OBVIOUS events like chapters 64, 69 and 93, moments in which Azula either put a stop to opportunities where she and Sokka might have ended up going too far, and he accepted it without complaint... or Sokka himself put a stop to them, KNOWING that Azula would be taking a huge risk if she gave herself to him completely as she does from 97 onwards. That you literally took something that was SO VERY OBVIOUS, and twisted it into chapter 28 again speaks LENGTHS of how absolutely messed up your perception and interpretation of this whole story is. You have issues. Serious issues. And I’m not saying this just to be an ass, I’m saying it because it’s clear as day that if you CAN’T stop linking absolutely everything I say or do to chapter 28, whether it’s being referenced or not (and in this case, it was NOT), the problem isn’t me, IT’S YOU.

And here we go again. You are actually trying to POLICE the Sokkla fandom at this point? An ANON? And hey, you returned to the Gladiator blog! Which means you were so pissed that I didn’t answer your previous asks and your phony apology because I KNEW you’d come back that even your teeny, tiny behavioral correction was pulled back because you were MAD. And you HAD TO MAKE YOUR OPINIONS KNOWN, AGAIN.

Do tell, are you the same ass who harassed a pretty new friend I’ve made in this fandom? An honestly solid writer who happens to feature Sokka having other, prior relationships to Azula because, haha, if you work with CANON settings, that’s basically guaranteed since Sokka already has canon relationships before even knowing Azula exists? And then, even if in those experiences Sokka ends up going “... I bet it’d be better with Azula”, you STILL take this as a slight and you consider it a reason to go around harassing writers and potentially even THREATENING to report their content because you’re mad that Sokka isn’t exclusively Azula’s in every single story you pick up?

The worst part is, I actually wrote at least 2 stories in my Saturdays’ oneshots where Azula and Sokka are each other’s first everything, absolutely so. And I got nothing from you for it, not even a teeny tiny “HEY THANK YOU YOU FINALLY WROTE WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!”. No, you only come out of your hole to ATTACK writers. To tell us what to do when you think we’re not doing it right. As if you had the SLIGHTEST right to tell ANYONE what to do.

I literally have been here for EIGHT YEARS. I’ve been creating content for this ship for that long, when nobody else was anymore. I won’t take credit for the ship’s rise in popularity, despite yes, it’s far from a major ship no matter how far we’ve come... but my story didn’t reach the heights it has out of sheer dumb luck. I worked my ass off with Gladiator in every way I could to make it a story of the scope and depth it deserved to be, and the fact that people who didn’t even ship Sokkla were interested in reading the story all the same has always been something I take pride on. A ton of multishippers read this story, and support Sokkla too: neither you nor ANYONE has any right to demand or claim or pretend that someone else has no right to be part of this fandom or to set guidelines as to what their content should be. There’s LITERAL stories out there of Sokka having a goddamn HAREM, just so you know, with Azula included amongst the women involved in it... and you’re here, throwing a fit over people featuring Sokka having one-time encounters and brief relationships with other girls before committing completely to Azula.

I’ve been here, working my ass off for Sokkla, not only in writing but literally developing my art skills to the best of my ability so I could ONE DAY create the visuals and images these two evoked for me... 

And yet I don’t feel I have any right to tell ANYONE how to make their content. 

If there was a set number of words in fics or artworks someone needed to make for a ship to prove themselves worthy of obtaining the skill of GATEKEEPING, I am 100% positive I have more than outdone that limit.

And yet I DON’T play gatekeeper. I NEVER have, and I NEVER will. People can create whatever they want to create, whether I enjoy it or not is up to me, and if I DON’T enjoy it, I DON’T read it. If there’s Sokkla content out there I can’t even STOMACH? I would ignore it and move on with my life. You? You make it your whole life’s crusade to attack people over anything that tickles you wrong. That’s how it works, isn’t it?

Unless you’re planning on pulling a Scooby-Doo-esque twist where you remove your mask and reveal you were a known Sokkla fan and content creator all along, which I find ABSOLUTELY unlikely, then this means you haven’t done anything, ANYTHING, for this fandom beyond sending anonymous harassment to people who are actually taking time out of their lives to create content for this ship. The main reaction I’ve seen at you from ANY of us, whether anons like yourself or actual content creators like myself, is that you have too much time on your hands and need a better hobby. And I agree, completely.

So, where people like me and my fellow Sokkla creators are actually making content that convinces people, if not to ship it, to at least CONSIDER this ship a possibility... you’re out there, in hiding, pretending you have any right to tell us what to do and going ignored on most accounts. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if I had any respect for someone, and they either stopped responding to me or started responding by telling me to leave them alone, I’d feel like such stain of garbage I’d never even try to interact with them again. While people absolutely can be different and react differently to things... I can’t see how, exactly, you have any respect for me when knowing you’re a problem for me has never stopped you and most likely never will.

I’ll admit, this one actually made me laugh. Like... you’re seriously trying to tell me that a sex scene was way too good and that’s why I have to change it. I actually disagree on every account, because the last time I revisited 28 I thought the scene was absolutely distant from my best work? I’ve written soooo much smut recently and literally any of those scenes kicks 28 out of any “best smut” contest by MILES. But... heh. This one, apparently, was too good.

I mean... thank you? For telling me that my smut skills are apparently that great they need to be toned down? Fascinating, really.

But again, “it sadly seems to be a too late to write chapter 28″. Sadly?

SADLY?

You can stick your sadness up where the sun doesn’t shine, dude: 

SOMEONE WHO THREW SUCH A FIT OVER THEIR REVIEWS BEING REWRITTEN SHOULD

NEVER

TELL SOMEONE ELSE THAT IT’S TOO BAD THEY CAN’T REWRITE ANY OF THEIR CONTENT.

EVER

You can’t pretend, again, that you were EVER sorry for ANY of what you did... while still trying to tell someone they should rewrite their content. Honest to gods, you’re an asshole. You are. And if you think I’m one too, great, I own up to it gladly. But you’re the one willingly intoxicating their brain with my content, only to consistently go MAD over it, and then unleash this kind of illogical nonsense right back at me. I know art can generate a myriad of responses, but I am NOT responsible for your immaturity and inability to handle serious subjects and topics that SHOULD MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. If you don’t KNOW how to deal with the fact that there’s a lot of questionable, dislikeable things in this world, then my damn story is the least of your concerns because you’re well on your way to leading a VERY miserable life, Anon. Better get ready for it, will you?

And again, the Gladiator blog. Again, pretending to be well-mannered, and also, again, using the world “sadly”, same as the ask above. Like... man, what on earth is wrong with you. Are you seriously this masochistic? Do you also drink arsenic for sport? What on EARTH brings you the belief that asking how far or how much was done between Sokka and his previous one-night-stands would help you IN ANY WAY, WHATSOEVER? 

I think I’ll answer that question, for once, with actual quotes, taken right from some of your favorite chapters, no less:

"When you and Ruon Jian got married, was he…?" she asked. Mai only raised a confused eyebrow, and Azula had the distinct feeling that Mai knew what she was talking about, but would force her to blurt it out anyways. She sighed: "A virgin."

Ty Lee's hands flew to her mouth as Mai raised her eyebrows. To Azula's astonishment, she merely shrugged.

"I don't know. I never asked," she said. Azula snorted.

"Then you're smarter than me. By far," she grunted. Mai smirked.

And as things digress there into Azula explaining what happened, let’s skip that and go straight to Mai’s direct answer:

"I've never asked Ruon Jian about whether or not he had anything serious with other girls before me because I seriously don't care," said Mai. "If I knew about it, I'd probably have a bout of jealousy like yours, I suppose… but it's in his past, and he left them behind to make me his present and his future. So, whatever he might have experienced before, with however many women there were, isn't something I'm overly concerned about."

"You're awfully mature compared to me if that's the case," said Azula, slipping her fingers through her hair again. Mai smirked.

"You've been complimenting me quite a lot today, Azula, that's not like you…"

"Shut up," Azula grunted. Mai chuckled.

:’) 

This is the only answer this ask warrants. The fact that you’re so immature and so obsessed as to want to know more about what happened with something you HATE is completely cringeworthy and absurd. If you want to get angry imagining Sokka having wild sex with every woman who crosses his path, go ahead and do it, but do us both a favor and torture yourself, and yourself alone, with those thoughts rather than coming back TWENTY TIMES to my inbox looking for MORE reasons to get angry. You’re honestly unbelievable.

You know, that reading comprehension site I linked up there? Courses, 20% off! Seriously, perfect fit for you. You need it, direly.

Like... how can someone read a story built on the premise of Azula literally defeating Sokka painfully in battle to the point he’s left unable to move, taking Sokka away from home, turning him into a slave, being objectively responsible for the WORST TWO YEARS OF HIS LIFE... and then come to my inbox asking if Azula will ever hurt Sokka?

Dude, you’re off the deep end. You can’t even pretend you have a grasp on reality if you SERIOUSLY THINK Azula has NEVER hurt Sokka. Like, seriously, it feels like you’re reading this truncated version of Gladiator that’s only chapters 28, 111, 112 and perhaps 123? Is that what’s going on?

I’ve had Sokka and Azula arguing over ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, whether for humorous or for serious purposes, since the very beginning of the story. Their first serious falling out is LITERALLY caused by the direct conflict of their worldviews clashing in chapter 12. Their second falling out was indeed caused by women: by Azula’s discovery that Sokka didn’t want to fight women, which of course, doesn’t bother you in the least because you and I both know that’s NOT what your problem was.

I could literally run through the whole story listing every single argument they’ve had, every single time they’ve hurt each other if that’s what you want: their first time? It literally comes from a very serious argument where Sokka believed he had reached the pinnacle of his potential as a fighter and feared Azula would need someone else to achieve her goals instead of him.

AND YOU’RE SERIOUSLY HERE ASKING IF THEY’LL EVER ARGUE OVER ANYTHING ELSE.

You don’t read this story. This ask absolutely proved it to me. You only read chapter 28 and everything potentially connected to Sokka having anything with other women. You don’t CARE about anything else, simply. Because if anything actually had ANY impact on you? You’d say something about it. But the only thing that touches your weird heart is Sokka sleeping with anyone else or having any potentially romantic interactions with someone else, whether he rejects them or not. 

You don’t care about Gladiator. You only care about your ego, and the validation of your worldview and puritanic morals.

And to that I say, fuck that noise. I write whatever the hell I want to write, and you’re not going to rope me into playing it safe just to please insecure harassers who don’t know boundaries and are completely incapable of empathizing with anyone while demanding everyone should understand their feelings.

Final note on this matter: you, also, have no idea what love is. You plain and simple don’t understand it. You’re even more confused by what love should be than Azula was at the start of this story. You don’t get it, AT ALL.

All you want is for them to get even on things? You literally asked me, when I was in my angry spree of deleting your bullshit, to make Azula and her future husband have happy consensual quality sex with who knows how many orgasms... because it was only fair!

AGAIN: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND LOVE IN THE LEAST.

If you think love is about getting even, you’re seriously an asshole. If you think love is about both people being 100% equal in social regards and experiences, you don’t even UNDERSTAND human relations. Do you live in a bubble, by any chance? Maybe you do! You must have zero contact with anyone other than people with your same puritanic beliefs, right? So that means you assume everyone who’s different from you is fundamentally a bad person? I take it?

Like... literally at this point I think you’d hear about someone who was abused in their childhood, molested, and your reaction would simply be “Oh wow I hope someone molests whoever they end up marrying too, so that way they may be even in the future and been molested by the exact same number of people, otherwise it’s not really love”.

This is fucking sick. I’m not holding back at this point, it’s SICK. It’s TWISTED. It’s VILE. Your mentality is absolutely repulsive to me. You don’t know what love is, and you have the most literal, obvious change to understand it better by reading this story properly, but instead you just read chapter 28 over and over and over again, isn’t that right?

And here’s the evidence of that. You really want me to answer that last question?

No, it doesn’t bug me to read that AT ALL. Because unlike you? I don’t obsessively reread 28 while disregarding everything else in the story. Unlike you, I don’t revisit the chapter every day to pick apart every line to look for reasons to get extra angry at those developments.

Most of us, when faced with things we DON’T like in fiction? We move past it. You, instead, dig yourself into a hole and continue digging, and then pretend to hold other people responsible for whatever impact this may be having on your psyche. Because yes, you’re holding me responsible for whatever trauma or insecurity this is awakening inside you when you continue to pester me as you have: if you’re an adult, you should have the tools and brains to determine what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior, as well as to curate your own experiences with media, with fandom, with EVERYTHING to do with these communities. If you choose to look for things to hate instead of things to love, THAT’S ON YOU.

And if you’re allegedly looking for things to love but can’t find ANY that suit your purposes (which... is bullshit. Clearly, your only priority is “Sokka must be a virgin who never had anything with anyone else”, and such stories DO exist, which I guarantee considering I’ve written at least THREE of them, where it’s absolutely stated that Sokka’s first and only one is Azula)...

Well, it’s funny. Because when I got here? I was looking for some very specific fics so I could explore whether or not Sokkla made any sense. And I didn’t find them.

Which resulted...

... In me writing the very stories I wanted to see.

Oh, my. Imagine taking your impulses and channeling them into something productive rather than looking for reasons to get angry 24/7! Must be such a NOVEL CONCEPT for you!

Seriously, you have no right to dictate what anyone does. Again, worth bringing up because you INSIST on the rewriting matter. Even if you’re claiming you’re done asking for it, you somehow KEEP bringing it up. And then you act like me mentioning 28′s events here or there in the story is absolutely outrageous... but you just go right on ahead and do the same thing yourself, don’t you? Funny how much of a hypocrite you really are, isn’t it?

The fact that you’re bringing up something I have NEVER written, and have NO INTENTIONS of ever writing, as some sort of stupid, ridiculous argument to be made AGAINST the post I literally reblogged TODAY... is just absurd beyond belief.

The fact that I ever even wrote Sokka cheating on Suki with Azula, which I DID, still bothers me. Because yes, it made for a good story, but the truth is, it doesn’t sit well with me. It worked in The Reason, worked in my collab story with a friend, but it doesn’t mean I feel 100% happy with that choice. Even if the cheating only amounted to a kiss in The Reason, and then a lot worse than just that in the other story, it’s still not cool! :’) I know this!

... And yet no one, NO ONE, has ever caught me writing Sokka cheating on Azula. In fact, when my collab story with my friend seemed to start moving towards that angle I BEGGED her not to do it, and then she didn’t, and my heart was deeply relieved and blissful for it. Because not only did it mean we wouldn’t have to deal with the very controversial and unsettling notion of someone in a good relationship cheating on their significant other... but because in that story, it also showed how much he had grown, and how he was truly devoted to Azula despite he hadn’t been to Suki.

But alas, I have my qualms with that concept, of course I do. And I don’t like it. Ergo, I’ll never write it.

Which begs the question as to WHY, exactly, you’re so obsessed with the notion of Sokka cheating on Azula? Like... do you get off on it? Are you wanking at the idea of Sokka and June every single night and then wake up feeling like crap and then take it out on me, by any chance? Is that what’s going on? Because I’m seriously starting to believe it is.

You clearly don’t understand anything about storytelling, which is probably why you don’t have the guts to create your own content in the first place. But the fact that I reblog a post about how conflict in a story is GOOD, and your first thought is “THEN THAT MEANS YOU APPROVE OF SOKKA CHEATING!” actually says A LOT MORE about you than it says about me. You need help. Clearly, the therapy site I was sending you to the last time wasn’t much good, was it? I guess you just ignored it in the end. Hopefully the reading comprehension one will suit you better, right?

Fuck you, seriously, for coming to someone who has been working this hard for this long, for a ship that they’re completely devoted to, to spout this kind of senseless shit. To think you seriously ever believed I’d accept your half-assed apologies when you’ve been doing this sort of bullshit for this long... you’re a piece of work. If you have the time to write that BULLSHIT into my inbox, at the very least use that time to look INWARD and ponder just what your damn problem is, resolve it on your own, AND LEAVE ME THE HELL OUT OF IT. Someone as immature and unstable as you has no business reading M-rated fiction, and I honestly rue the day you ever clicked my story. Both your life and mine would be countless times better if you simply had scrolled past it.

And on and on we went today. The THREE MORE ASKS that arrived as I was typing this insanely long response. Which resulted in you bumping the total, successfully, to 20. MIGHTY NICE OF YOU TO PROVE ME RIGHT! :’)

Now then, getting serious here... I must say your priorities are fucked. Like. Really fucked.

You’d rather Sokka tries to KILL AZULA than have a one-time sexual encounter with someone?

Like... you’re here, condoning VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN to that extent...? :’D and then you... you actually have the balls to whine because apparently him  hurting her feelings is WORSE?!

Are you EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF???

You know, I think I have to offer you some REALLY good advice right now: go watch Naruto. Seriously, all of it. Go watch it, and enjoy your sweet loins’ release once Sasuke and Sakura start trying to kill each other, ONLY TO END UP TOGETHER AT THE END! :’) They were both 100% faithful to each other too, in the sense of Sakura getting depicted as a girl who can’t ever get over the guy she had a crush on when she was 6, no matter if he tries to kill her or her friends once he starts to go off the deep end, and Sasuke getting depicted as a guy who treats everyone like garbage, even the people he loves, because his manpain story somehow validates him being absolutely toxic to everyone he knows, so that’s absolutely up your alley! 100% the love story you’ve been looking for! You’re gonna LOVE IT.

Man, I just can’t believe you. I really can’t believe you. You’re seriously asking me to feature Sokka trying to kill Azula because that’s more acceptable to you. There was a story out there, you know? With Azula basically using Sokka to commit suicide, impaling herself on his sword and dying? You should just go look for that too, perfect fit for you (though it may be gone from the depths of this wretched site by now, which tbh I’d be grateful for, since it was the most unsettling, disturbing read).

Also? Thank you, truly, for all  the remarkably shallow compliments you’ve thrown at me to “soften” your “criticism” (which, again, is whining, not legitimate criticism). Calling me a capable writer is super NICE of you, especially after all these months of persistent harassment and constant repetition that I should rewrite whatever you don’t like. I mean... that’s definitely the way someone treats a capable writer, isn’t that right? 

“The problem isn’t conflict it’s what the conflict is”, the anon says. I’ve been writing a story for 8 years, 198 chapters and counting... and I’ve had a ton of different types of conflicts for Sokka and Azula to deal with. If your problem is “I don’t like this conflict”, FINE. But... hey. There have been THOUSANDS of other sources of conflict across the story, so many I don’t think I can even promise I’d ever take my time to count them all... there’s whole ARCS with conflicts regarding world politics and the war’s consequences and both Azula and Sokka completely changing their worldviews as they realize their realities are soooo much more complicated than they ever knew...!

Ergo. There ARE other conflicts. There are SO MANY of them that there’s no point in even listing it all out.

And yet you are obsessed with the one conflict you didn’t like, outright acting like THIS IS THE ONLY CONFLICT THERE EVER WAS, as proven by that preposterous and mindless “when will Azula ever hurt Sokka” ask. The one development you were pissed at, because it tickled your loins the wrong way. Oh yes, I’m a capable writer, I could’ve done things differently...!

BUT I DIDN’T!

And aren’t you thrilled that I didn’t? You would be a complete nobody in this fandom if this hadn’t happened, because otherwise what would you POSSIBLY have to complain about?! To harass someone about?! You’d be SO BORED! You’d be so unknown, nobody would even be aware of your existence...!

Though.

Wait.

You’re an anon.

You’re unreachable and nobody really knows who you are.

... So never mind, you actually still are a complete nobody in this fandom and your only attempt to even take part in it is to be a negative, irritating presence that literally makes people facepalm, laugh and ridicule you to the extent I and many others have laughed at you.

And yes, that post I reblogged was 100% worth reblogging. Why? Because it hits the nail on the head:

I DIDN’T WRITE 28 SO YOU’D BE HAPPY WITH SOKKA.

I DIDN’T WRITE THAT CHAPTER TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK “OH WOW WHAT A WHOLESOME SITUATION”.

I WROTE IT BECAUSE IT WAS MEANT TO DETONATE CONFLICT AND SPEED UP CHARACTER GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT, WHICH IT DID.

And the thing is? Maybe, in the future, I’ll write other stories, just as I wrote the Saturdays’ stories, and Sokka won’t have either meaningful or worth mentioning encounters with anyone else in them. Maybe I’ll write original fiction, and there won’t be any twists like what happened in 28! 

But you will never get over this.

You will never care about any other content beyond this.

And that’s your failing, not mine.

If you would rather obsess over what makes you angry, that’s on YOU. But I’m damn sure I wrote a pretty reasonable conflict, character-wise, that was not only consistent with characterization but with the slightly darker take of the Avatarverse I’ve been working with. Not only that, but I NEVER skipped the consequences of their actions. I literally had them facing those consequences for whole arcs. Sokka assumed he’d never have a chance to be with Azula and made his peace with it, WITHOUT EVER PRETENDING HIS DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR AZULA WERE ANYTHING THAT ENTITLED HIM TO HER LOVE IN RETURN. But oh, that’s too complex for you to understand, isn’t it? The fact that Sokka actually loves Azula for her, and not for himself, that he devotes himself to her in every imaginable way, that he fights people who dare disrespect her, that he would stop at NOTHING, even coming close to killing someone, to keep her safe despite he’s completely against killing people? That all means NOTHING to you.

And again? THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. THAT’S YOUR FAILING. THAT YOU’RE SO OBSESSED WITH 28 AND CAN’T MOVE PAST IT IS NOT MY FAULT, IT’S YOURS.

Because I damn right moved past it. I’ve moved so far past it I literally don’t ever THINK about that damn situation until your stupid asks start arriving. Heck, maybe if you didn’t ASK so much about it, I’d stop bringing it up in recent chapters of the story :’) how do you feel about that particular kernel of unexpected information? Maybe you’re impacting the story in a whole shocking manner by inception-ing 28 into my head all the time and that’s why I can’t seem to stop throwing in lines referencing it for you to go completely BONKERS over. How about that? :’)

Say... how exactly do you think this fic is special? Literally all I know is you think I’m a capable writer who can create something perfectly catered for you, and yet ALL the feedback I’ve ever gotten from you is “REWRITE 28 AND EVERYTHING ABOUT SOKKA HAVING ANYTHING WITH OTHER GIRLS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS I’M GENUINELY CURIOUS THIS IS LEGITIMATE CRITICISM SIGNING OFF BYE”. Your compliments are completely devoid of meaning because they’re literally just a handful of “you’re a good writer” and you don’t even say WHY you think I’m good. You don’t ever come here to tell me how much you enjoyed a certain scene, or how happy you are with a certain development... No.

Because when Sokka and Azula got married? What did I get?

“HOW CAN YOU LET SOKKA AND AZULA GET MARRIED NOW WHEN HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN CHAPTER 28?!”

I wish I had screenshots for those, but you and I both know the truth, you irksome anon, and the truth is you did exactly that. And with every new development in Shu Jing, I got yet more reviews and ask(s), persistently whining about how UNFAIR it is that now Azula apparently is locked in marriage with this unfaithful man who has been unfaithful to her a grand total number of ZERO TIMES ever since their relationship began! How DARES he even think about marrying her?! Scourge of earth, let’s murder him in cold blood because DEATH IS BETTER THAN CHEATING!!!

If you think highly of Gladiator for ANY REASON, you’ve kept those reasons well and safely tucked away in the depths of your broken heart or shared them with anyone but me. Look at all these asks, damn you, and tell me at what point in time did you convey ANYTHING beyond “why don’t you write what I want you to write?”, huh? Because hell, I don’t see it in any of them. Literally nowhere. No backwards (: emojis are compliments or evidence of how much this story allegedly means to you. All I know is that you hate 28 and everything about it.

And you see...

I don’t give a flying fuck. 

I don’t.

You can hate 28 all you want.

You can hate June.

You can hate Sokka.

It is, INDEED, a free world.

But you have no right, NONE WHATSOEVER, to commit to this level of harassment as you have, for A WHOLE YEAR, and pretend the problem is that I, Seyary, the “evil super-sensitive author who writes Sokka sleeping with other people and doesn’t even break a sweat but then crumbles to pieces when “negative” feedback arrives”, can’t handle your comments properly.

I’ve said it before, damn you: NO ONE NEEDS TO REITERATE THEIR OPINIONS A MILLION TIMES. NO ONE. NOT YOU, NOT THE PEOPLE DEMANDING FOR THE PLOT TO KICK INTO HIGH GEAR, NOT THE ONES WHO THINK THIS SHIP IS GARBAGE, NOT ANYONE.

NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT OR REASON TO COME BACK PERSISTENTLY THORUGHOUT A YEAR TO HARASS SOMEONE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY’RE TOLD TO STOP IT.

Point being: HATE WHAT YOU WILL! But keep it the fuck off my blog. And if you CAN’T? Get used to these responses. Because you’re going to get them, constantly. I guarantee it.

I know your damn opinion already. I know it by heart and I damn wish I didn’t. You are perfectly free to go read all the other stories where I’ve had Sokka staying faithful to Azula, with Azula being his first, or with Azula being much more experienced and sleeping around while Sokka stays mostly chaste... but you don’t. You come back, every time, to my miserable inbox that must cry every time you show up in it, to make these demands and pretend you have any power over what I should be writing.

Again, no, I have no idea why this story matters to you at all. And at this point? I’d rather NOT know. Because I’m 100% sure the only thing that matters most to you is chapter 28. So you know, go ahead, wank to it again and cry yourself to sleep. It’s kind of fascinating to have written something that has such a visceral emotional impact on a complete and total stranger. Makes it clear I’ve made a lot of progress as a writer if I can fuck up someone’s life to this extent with what I’ve written.

Yeah. Sure. You really think I’ll buy it? You really think this is goodbye? Oh, no, Anon. You can’t stay away. You’ve been told to, you’ve been asked to, but you can’t.

So no, I’m not wishing you good luck back. And I’m certainly not wishing you any fun with my fic, because it’s more than clear that the only source of entertainment it provided you was chapter 28, seeing as it’s the only impactful thing I apparently ever wrote. And someone who’s that obsessed with one of the chapters I most disliked writing despite I knew the plot would benefit from it in the long run simply can’t deserve to have fun. So... good suffering over Gladiator, if anything? Go ahead and continue to wrack your brain while trying to unravel why, oh, why would ANYONE ever write what I wrote and still call themselves a Sokkla shipper?! 

I dunno, maybe go on and write something similar yourself. Could be you’ll finally figure out what your problem is if you take to writing the cheating storylines you’re so very much obsessed with. Only, heh, I can guarantee I’m not touching anything you write, out of principle more than anything. I plain and simple don’t want anything to do with you... but as I don’t intend to close my inbox again, it seems I have no choice, do I?

Good fucking luck sticking to this alleged goodbye... but we both know you’ll be coming back very soon, won’t you? No worries, Anon, I’ll be waiting this time. Let’s see if you can break your 20-ask-streak record next time, shall we? :’)

It’s December 13th, at 2:32 PM, in my location. Let’s see how long it takes you to come back, shall we?

EDIT: I neglected to check constantly so it definitely arrived earlier than this, but officially received a response at least 2 hours after this post went live.

Didn’t I call it? Yep, absolutely called it.

[thewritingstar]

2k19 Writing Challenge #2

Prompt: “She reads books as one would breath air, to fill up and live.” - Annie Dillard

Pairing: Gajevy ( FairyTail) 

Note: I haven't written for this pair yet and I don’t know why. Let me know if these are too long or short.

----------

Her eyes danced across the page, filling her mind with thousands of thoughts. It was why she loved to read. She became transported to new worlds and found herself apart of fantastic adventures and epic battles. One day she could be sailing with dangerous pirates, claiming the seas as her own and the next could have her dancing in a gorgeous gowns, while a masked man twirls her around. Simple words captivated her, making her heart beat fast.

All the emotions of a fairy tale were at her fingertips and she was determined to explore every leather bounded book in her sight. 

The newly revamped library opened in the center of town and no one had been able to find Levy since, well find a away to get her out. Everyday she had gone from morning till night, enchanting her in an endless sea of stories that she desperately craved.

Gajeel entered the double glass doors, the smell of old and new pages filled his noise and he couldn’t decided if it was pleasant or not. He had to admit that it was very grand, three stories to be exact and each level bustiled with a small amount of people.

He found his way to the front desk. A man much smaller than his with big rimmed glasses that framed his face looked at the Iron Dragon Slayer, he of course knew who he was.

“Mr. Redfox, what can I do for you today?” His voice held a puzzled tone and he didn’t know why this man even entered the building.

“I’m looking for shrim-Levy, looking for Levy. Rumor says that she’s been glued to this place, don’t know why. You’ve seen her?” Gajeel asked as his eyes trailed his surroundings, trying to pick up the vibrant blue he had come to love.

The man let out a chuckle. “Ahhh yes, Ms. McGarden is certainly our most prized guest here. But you won’t find her out in the open. Second floor, turn down the romance section and you will find the hallway for the restrooms. At the end you will see the employees only sign, follow the stairs up and make a right, she should be there.” He said as wrote the instructions on an index card and handed it to Gajeel.

“Oh and take this too would yah? She’s been begging for it and I haven’t had time to give it to her.” Gajeel proceeded to grab the red covered book. “Thanks” he grunted and found the elevator.

Gajeel managed to located the place the man had said. Making a right he turned down a hallway that was dimly lit.

“Creepy.” He shuttered. But when he found the light at the end of the hallway, his eyes spotted his girl swamped in a pile of books.

The room had many bookshelves but they were heavy oak instead of the fresh metals ones downstairs. The sunlight that gleamed through the window revealed the thousands of dust particles circling in the air, no one had read these books since it was refurbished.

Like the dragon from her book, she was stacked on a pile of treasure. On a throne made of books and wrapped in a fluffy blanket, Levy didn’t notice her boyfriend lurking, watching her read the enchanted tale.

The sound of a throat clearing made her head snap up and a smile sprung to her face when she realized who was here and what he was holding.

“Gajeel, what are you doing here?” She asked and book marked her place, luckily she wasn’t in an action packed spot so she could afford to slip away for a bit. She made her way over to him, still wrapped in her blanket.

“Came to find you shrimp. Were you sitting on a pile of book?” He pointed.

A piece of her blue hair began to twirl between her fingers. “Ha ha yeah. There’s not chairs up here yet so I made it out of the ones I’ve already read. It’s pretty comfy, well for my size at least.”

“You read all of those?”

“Yes”

“Shrimp I’m not a math wizard but I can tell theses at least a hundred.”

“Correct”

“The library opened a week ago.”

“That is also a fact.”

“And you read...all of those?”

“Again yes, why are you surprised.” She giggled .

“Damn” He was actually impressed by this. He knew his girl could read a book quickly but this amount, now that deserved serious props.

“Oh I see my book came in!” Levy took the red book from his hands and waddled back to her lair of books. Setting it on a pile next to her throne, she cleared a small area of dust and motioned for him to sit with her on the ground.

Abiding to her command, he dropped to the floor and leaned against the oak shelf with a small pillow between his back. Looking around, Levy grabbed a book with a black cover.

“Here, I think you’ll like this book. It’s pretty short and it’s about a pirate thief who takes over a kingdom, and it’s not too sappy.”

“You want me to read?” He asked but he was already flipping it over to read the captions.

“Yes” she gasped, “A reading date!”

He laughed and pulled her against his chest, the white blanket covering them both, mostly Levy though. Together they sat in silence, peacefully they explored new worlds.

A few hours later and Gajeel managed to finish his book, Levy finished three but she was wearing her red magical glasses for some of it.

“Levy? Why do you like reading so much?” He asked. She placed her book down and turned to face him, taking the blanket with her.

“Well let’s see. I guess I enjoy getting lost in a story. Being able to leave this world and go somewhere new, like traveling. It’s fascinating to see how each author manipulates their language to turn it into a piece of art. Each story is different even if it’s similar. I get to meet so many new people even if they are fictional and I get to learn about different places and cultures.” Her hands were against her flushed cheeks as she kept rambling about books and adventures.

Laughing quietly, Gajeel took her hands and pulled her close. Kissing her softly, he pulled away and looked into her eyes.

“I think I love you just as much as you love reading.”

“Don’t be silly, I love you more than books.” She whispered and kissed him again.

————

This was kinda short and I hope y���all enjoyed it. I don’t think it’s my best one but it be like that sometimes.

[barryhuff]

My Cut - 3rd Revision  (Fiction Story)

“It’s better to avoid the cut, than it is to heal the wound,” Minister Christine Steves warned firmly as she stood behind the wooden podium at the front of her church buried by layers of preaching robe fabric. 

Subdued choruses of “Mm-hmms” from the nodding heads of the sisters filling the auditorium replied back.

 “I said, ‘It’s better to avoid the cut, than it is to heal the wound!” she announced with more volume.

 More subtle murmurs.

"Now...!" Minister Christine sang out, beads of sweat framing her face, "Turn to somebody close to you, and say, 'It's better to..."

Obediently, her congregation of “Big Mommas”, elderly men, and restless children shift in unison like well-dressed, brown-faced, ocean waves, and toward the person seated next to them in the stiff-backed pew.

However, I sat straight-up and stare at that nigguh two pews up who owed me $20 from March 7, 1994.  Sooner or later, I was gonna get my money.

 "It's better to...," the church body parroted together.

 "A-VOOOOOID the cut," Minister Christine sang out as she leaned over the podium as if she needed to give herself the Heimlich Maneuver.  Her billowy, preaching robe flowed forward like icing being applied to a cake that was still too warm.

 "A-VOOOOID the cut!" the alto-voice of the congregation echoed back.

 I sat stone-faced, concentrating on that $20 stealing-nigguh.

 "Boy...," my concentration interrupted by rapid-fire tapping on my shoulder.

I turn slowly to my left, my eyes dark angry slits.  I didn't know anyone in this church.  I just wanted my money. "What?" I growled.

 "Boy...," she repeated, through her clenched teeth, lips pressed tightly, like she was about 10 seconds away from pinching me like my Momma used to when my brother and I started acting up.  "Say what you supposed tuh," she whispered.

I shrugged her gloved finger off my shoulder roughly and continued to stare at her.  The pearl earrings, matching the pearl-colored veil that rained down from her small hat tilted slightly on the corner of her head.  A true church O.G.

"Say. What. You. Sup-posed. Tuh. Say," she demanded quietly.  Her probing finger had regained its perch on my shoulder, joined by its pinching partner - her thumb.  

Uh-uh, I thought to myself.  I know this bi-

 “...to heal the wound!” Minister Christine called out to her people, layers of fabric pouring off her extended arms.

 “...To heal the wound!” the Church O.G. screamed out, staring at me wildly.  Her pincers ready to snag the skin off my shoulder at any second. “Say it!” she screamed.

 I stared back silently, equally wild-eyed.  Other crowned church O.G.s start turning their heads toward us, including that $20 owin’ fool.

“Say it!” she screamed again, raising her white-gloved, left-hand in the air as if she was wanting a teacher to call on her in a classroom of her youth.  Her white-gloved right-hand was still in a strike-ready position on my shoulder.

“Say it!” 

Suddenly the organ pounded twice in syllabic rhythm to Church O.G.’s demand.

“Say it!”  Two more organ harmonies again echoed back.

Several other church OGs stood up around me, arms raised, gloved fingers spread out like they were trying to block a Lebron James last second-shot, and screaming so loudly their throats must have felt like they were gargling broken glass.  “Say it!” they cried.  

Two more harmonies from the organ, joined by the keyboard, bass, and lead guitar.  

More Church O.G.s started to rise up, each belting out “Say It!”  The music was now loud and continuous.  Everyone, except me, was on their feet praising the “Lawd”.

I could no longer see that $20 bastard through the thick layers of O.G.s.  I’m sure that slippery nigguh was out the door of the church, and off with my money.

“Avoid the Cut!” I yelled out threateningly, hoping he could somehow hear me through the forest of swaying bodies and raised arms begging for the Holy Ghost.  I patted the front pocket of shirt to make sure my Camels were ready to smoke once I walked out of here.

“You sound just like him!” Denise breathlessly called out over the pulsing  cackles of her brothers and sisters.

“Nigguh, no you don’t!” Damon hissed silencing his brothers and sisters sitting underneath the tall, thick pecan tree. Forgotten branches and bark littered the ground of the brittle tree. Their mother was only there in spirit, and not physically there with her arms crossed, lips pursed and cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised, casually asking, “Why don’t one of you pick up those branches?”

A question that couldn’t be easily ignored, because Momma was their Daddy’s woman. Their Daddy seemed to be tuned into anything that would have her continue to cook for him, wash his clothes, give him silence in his home, and provide him with some not-so-subtle night time romance.  And if it meant surgically slicing the legs of their kids in order to continue to get these things, then so be it.

“All that damn proper-talking was getting on my God-”

Damon coughed, as if he heard his mother’s warning about using her Lord’s name in vain in the whispers of the leaves dancing on the breeze above him.

“Got-damn nerves,” he corrected himself unaware that his eyes cautiously darted left and right.

“Look at this nigguh here,” Deacon laughed.  

The only people brave enough to call him Deacon instead of his preferred “Deek” was Momma and Daddy.   Although Damon once called him “Deez” as kids.

“Why Deez,” an 11 year old Deacon asked then his 13 year old brother on the bus after school, “and not Deek?”

Damon stood up on the moving bus, grabbed the crotch of his blue jeans, lifted his head to the ceiling, and screamed, “DEEEEEEEZ nuts!”

Damon and Deacon easily slipped into arguments and fights everyday of their relationship after that point.

“He thinks Daddy rotten carcass is gonna pop up and give his ass yet another whoopin!” Damon chuckled.

The circle of graying brothers and sisters start to laugh again.

Denise’s toes burrowed deeply in the moist dirt, as weak anchors for her white plastic lawn chair on its relentless rotation onto its unsteady back legs.  Denise’s left arm slips off the armrest, causing her fingers to graze the tops of the thick bladed grass.

She breathes in deeply, and closes her eyes expecting darkness.

Not the unknowable darkness of death -- only her dead father and mother could speak to that. Her darkness felt like soothing water in its inevitable pursuit to quickly drench and consume dry body parts -- even to the point of consuming sound as it fills the crevices of the ears.  Clear voices become muffled and eventually silent the deeper a submerged body travels.

In the silence she could again feel the blades of grass in the yard.  This time, each blade reaching out to her, caressing her feet, teasing her ears.  Reminding her that the only way to cool the burning soles of her 10 year-old sidewalk blackened, bare feet was to hustle five houses down to Mr. Walton’s yard. 

“Put on your shoes, Girl!” Momma’s fading voice demanded in the vacuum of the silence.

Denise stares down at the tops of her little girl feet as they take turns pressing down on the sidewalk radiating the scalding punishment expected from it’s solar summertime master.  She feels the thick air moving through many shiny, oiled parts of her braided hair. The parted hair looking like a map of countless, unlabeled, intersecting streets.  Each square block of parts bordering its own small limp braid. 

Houses blur past her as she gains momentum towards Mr. Walton’s.

His face glistens like wet coffee grounds, underneath his straw, wide-brimmed hat.  Quietly, he works his yard.  Spreading piles of dirt, cutting, trimming, repeat.  Against the sun-bleached sidewalk, his yard glows green like a full pot of freshly cooked collard-greens.    

And the reward to stubborn, naked feet, was cooling off for a moment in Mr. Walton’s creation.  Soothing blistered feet in his finely crafted suburban front yard for three seconds before he could growl, “Get yo’ black-ass out my yard!”

Bright light forces its way through Denise’s eyelids causing her to wince.  

“Neese! Neese!”  

“Stop calling her that!  Yo’ drunk ass know she hates that nickname!”

“Neese! Neese!”

“You all right, Girl?”  

“Y’all always breaking my shit! Leaning back and breaking the legs of my chairs!  That’s why I cain’t get anything!”

“Serves her right for acting like she ain’t never heard that story before.  She and all y’all are God..Got-Damn fools!”

“Nigguh shut yo’ ass up!  It was funny.  Yo’ black ass always with his lip poked out like you fixin-nuh get a whooping!  Shit...I’ll beat a smile onto yo’ face right now!”

“Neese...uh, Denise!”

Her eyes slide away the mist of memory.  The cackles become the familiar faces of her family staring down on her like they have always done.  Faces full of critique and disdain.

[jazzforthecaptain]

hi I know you’ve just finished field work so pls dont take this the wrong way kay, I'm only asking out of love. Do you have any sastiel fics planned for the future? Regardless of your answer to that, tell me about your favorite tropes or just like, general Stuff, when it comes to both writing and reading those two together. Everyone’s got different tastes right & i think is always fun to see people explaining (or trying to explain) why they're into certain stuff

Oh heck yes I have more sastiel I want to write, don’t you worry.

I want to try some canon!verse scenes. I’ve spent a lot of time writing Castiel, but didn’t study Sam’s character closely until I launched off on the first draft of Field Work. That story was posted this year, but the process of finishing and editing it was about two years’ worth of work.

If there’s a story concept or an AU you’d really like to see me tackle, I’m all ears! Just let me know. After all, Field Work came from a random request on the sastiel tag - I saw it, and in a few minutes the scenes from the first chapter were in my head.

This ask tickled me so much, because I would love to talk about sastiel but I’m better at answering questions than trying to write an organized Ship Manifesto. So now I have a relatively narrow avenue of attack!

That said? I’m still gonna write paragraphs.

I’m busily working my way through the sastiel available on ao3, but I can tell you right now that I’m always a slut for Castiel reassuring Sam that he’s Worthy and Lovable and A Good Person (and for Sam to do the same for Cas). I’m also a big, BIG fan of anytime Castiel gets to talk to Sam about the Big Bad Shit that’s happened in a way that gives them both relief and bonds them, if not absolution (because sometimes absolution just… well… isn’t appropriate or possible). Castiel getting to apologize/explain himself for the choices he made that negatively impacted Sam, and vice versa, and each discovering that they’re still loved and valued by the other because they have a similar tendency to judge themselves more harshly, and fail to forgive themselves, while forgiving their loved ones even when the consequences of poor choices were horrific. Good God these two need a confidante and a champion (and a mitigating voice), and I love it when they find it in one another.

Also, it should be noted, I prefer to take my Castiel the way I take my coffee; that is to say hot, strong, and bitter af. I love it when Castiel is characterized as the soldier he is, with real doubts about the chain of command he came from and a massive distrust of authority. I love it when his battle scars are as relevant to who he is as Sam’s are to him. I love it when Castiel is a sarcastic shit who struggles to take orders even if they came straight from the Big Man himself. And I love it when Sam is internally rage-y, fighting his own temper and his own demons, when he’s drowning in self-loathing, when he takes zero shit, when he questions Castiel and comes back at him and stands up for himself (and others). Trust is slow coming between a couple paranoid war vets with PTSD and a Complicated History so fraught with lies and broken promises you could write a soap opera on it. And yet. Both of these guys are the grand fucking champions of giving people second chances and letting past offenses go - I think they need each other. To help one another heal. To remind each other that they’re not monsters. To remind each other that there are good goddamned reasons to keep on keepin’ on even when the skeletons in their respective closets are dancing the fucking samba. Being a good man isn’t something you’re born as. It’s not something you lose with a single mistake. Being a good man means taking responsibility for and the consequences of your actions, actively caring, and trying hard not to repeat past mistakes - and those are things they both already do. Red_River’s story “Light Up the Sky” has a fantastic quote from Castiel that I think succinctly sums this up:

“You are no monster, Sam Winchester,” Castiel told him, the words less than a whisper.  “You are not the best man I have ever known, but you try the hardest to be.” 

So, spiraling off into AU territory, there’s a couple things I really like in that regard. I’m a sucker for Magical!Sam (thank @awabubbles!), and she’s got a story series started where White Magic Sam accidentally summons a badly wounded Soldier of God Castiel (have I mentioned I love Soldier of God Cas? Because I so fucking do, omg). Just, you know, think about Sam tending his hothouse full of rare plants while Castiel (who isn’t healing as fast as he expects to be healing, dammit) follows him around like an irritated cat. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, wait don’t leave my sight dammit don’t touch me, wait okay rub my ears while I shove my face into your lilies.

Insert deflowering joke here.

I also adore non-paranormal contemporary romances (Castiel is a firefighter responding to a minor fire in Sam’s apartment building, aaaaand go~), high fantasy sword and sorcery (especially if it involves Castiel as a knight, have I mentioned I like soldier Cas? I have, haven’t I?), historical romances, and I hear there’s some excellent merfolk fiction but I haven’t as yet gotten to it. To be honest, I’ll give anything a fair shake at this point. I’m still discovering the fanfiction that’s out there, so in six months Idk, I could be begging for locked-room mysteries or something.

The thing I love the most about sastiel is how supportive the fandom is. Everyone is so encouraging about everyone else’s work - if you wanna write a thing there’s always someone else like ‘YEAH! Do the thing!’ And y’all show the fuck up. I cannot begin to express how much it meant that people were reading what I wrote and telling me about it. It’s renewed my commitment to leave feedback on works as well, because I want to pay it forward.

Sure, there are things I’m definitely not interested in reading that are out there in the sastiel tag, but I’m not here to throw down a list of Stuff That Annoys Me - I’d rather talk about the stuff I love. That seems to be the modus operandi of the community as a whole, and that gives me so much life. I hope it never changes.

Don’t worry - I’m slow as fuck but I’m not going anywhere.