#this is a day late but once i started i had to commit to finishing it and well. this took forever
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claraoswalds · 1 year ago
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STOBIN APPRECIATION WEEK ↳ Day 7: Free Theme
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navybrat817 · 11 months ago
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Indulgence
Pairing: Dom!Bucky Barnes x Sub!Female Reader Summary: When Bucky calls, you go to him. Word Count: Over 5.7k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, D/s elements, bondage, aftercare, established arrangement, insecurities, pet names, longing, possessive behavior, world building, mix of canon and non-canon, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm very excited for this new AU, lovelies! There's a deep bond between these two, but we know the road to love isn't always easy. ❤️Beta read by the amazing @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. And thanks to @targaryenvampireslayer for listening to me ramble about this part. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You had only been asleep for an hour when your phone went off, your eyes barely open as you reached for the device and saw the familiar name appear. “Bucky?” You answered drowsily.
“Hey, angel,” he said roughly, the pet name bringing a sleepy smile to your face. It sounded like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s okay. I have tomorrow off,” you said, a bit more alert as you sat up. “Are you at your apartment?”
“Yeah, I got back a bit ago,” he replied, swearing under his breath. “It’s really late. I just…”
“Need me,” you finished for him, stretching your back as you stood up. If he wanted to tell you he made it home safely from his latest assignment, he would've sent you a text. You knew by now that a call meant he had to see you in person. “Give me a few minutes?”
“You sure? I understand if you’d rather go back to bed.”
“I’m not going to get any sleep until I know you will, too,” you said. It would drive you crazy. “I want to come over. Okay?”
You wondered if the call dropped since you didn't hear anything on the other end. “Okay. I’ll send a car,” he said. He never let you pay for a ride yourself. “Thank you,” he added so softly you almost missed it.
“You don't need to thank me,” you assured him, though you appreciated hearing it. “I’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he promised, your heart skipping a beat before he hung up.
You brushed your teeth again before you changed out of your pajamas. The outfit didn't exactly matter. If it had, he would’ve told you what you wear. It wouldn't stay on long anyway. You sensed that this was a night for him to simply blow off some steam or release anything still pent up from his assignment.
You were more than happy to help.
“On my way.” You messaged him a few minutes later as you went out to the car.
You politely greeted the driver before gazing out the window. If anyone had told you months ago that you’d be sleeping with the former Winter Soldier, you would’ve laughed at them for saying something so crazy. You never expected to meet the man, let alone connect with him. That was your life now though. You were sleeping with Bucky Barnes.
But it wasn't that cut and dry.
“I’ll be outside.” He sent back.
You smiled to yourself as you thought about Bucky, the man searching for himself again. After years of enduring horrific pain and having no control over his actions, he felt lost once he was free. In his eyes, he would never be able to right all the wrongs of the atrocities he was forced to commit, but making amends for his past was a start. It wasn't enough though to heal the cracks from within. It couldn't stop him from plunging into the deep abyss of his mind where it once felt whole.
He had to find a way to feel semi-normal again. He needed to do something good for someone else outside of his heroic duties. And he had to do so in an environment where he could express himself openly, honestly, and authentically with a person he could trust.
That was where you came into the picture.
If Bucky called, no matter what time of day and you were available, you went to his place in a car he paid for. You stayed until you were both satisfied. A more crude way to think of it was that you helped him fuck out his frustrations and gave him a means to inflict pleasure on someone instead of hurt. It was a routine you were used to by now.
“You wanna be my angel?”
You may be his angel, but you weren't his girlfriend. He wasn't in a place to have a typical relationship. You weren't just a fuck buddy either. You were his submissive of sorts, along with his confidant and a way for him to find release and some sense of normalcy.
While he sometimes fucked you like a whore, he never once treated you like one. He cared for your well-being and checked in on you the way a boyfriend would. He kept his place stocked with your favorite snacks. You didn't sleep with anyone else and neither did he. You looked out for each other.
Unlike your last boyfriend.
As far as arrangements went, you could do much worse. There were rules set in place. Bucky was honest about his needs and helped you heal your wounds from the failure of your previous relationship. But the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted to be with him.
Was it a recipe for disaster?
The drive seemed faster than usual because before you knew it the car stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment building. Your pulse quickened when you saw the brunette standing by the door, donned in his usual leather jacket. Even from a short distance, he looked massive and heat bloomed in your core as you knew what was to come. He moved to the curb with more grace than a man his size should have, his hard blue eyes set on you through the glass before he opened the door.
His gaze practically set your heart on fire and it went full ablaze when he tenderly smiled. He was stunningly beautiful even in the dark of night. It almost hurt to look back at him.
You had it bad.
“Hey,” he said, offering you his gloved hand to help you out. You hardly ever saw him out without his vibranium hand covered. “It’s good to see you.”
“Hey,” you smiled softly, giving the driver a quick thanks before you got out. “You, too.”
Bucky's large hand moved to the small of your back as he gently led you toward the building and opened the door. He didn't like to linger outside for too long. Neither of you spoke as he guided you to his apartment on the first floor and you didn't push him to make small talk. It was a delicate arrangement and some nights didn't call for filler.
Still, you tried to get a read on his emotions. There was a stiffness to his stance, but he didn't appear upset or angry. You also didn’t spot any obvious injuries.
“Were you hurt?” You asked as he took his keys out. He was only gone for a couple of days, but you knew how dangerous the missions were.
He turned and stared at you, not at all surprised by your question since you always asked. “No, I didn’t get hurt,” he assured you, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin. “But I can't exactly talk about it either. I’m sorry.”
You nodded in understanding. It was information you weren't privy to and you doubted he called tonight to talk about it anyway. He peeled back layers of himself, yet there was so much underneath that you didn't know about. You cared for him regardless.
“Bucky, you don't have to apologize for that,” you reminded him.
“I just feel bad. You can tell me about your work, but I can't always talk about mine,” he said, looking both ways before he poked his head into his apartment.
“My job isn’t as ‘exciting’ as yours,” you teased before he let you in.
Bucky had a nice place. The partially exposed brick walls paired well with the hardwood floors. Tasteful, but not extravagant. The thick curtains in the living room matched the drapes in his bedroom. Since he occasionally slept on the floor by the oversized chair, it helped to block out the sun. He didn't have much as far as decor, but he did have a piece of art that his best friend, Steve, drew hung up in the hall.
He also had a bowl that you made on the console to hold his keys, which he promptly set them in.
It meant something that he even let you into his apartment when others close to him had never been invited.
“Need anything to drink?” He asked, slipping his jacket and glove off.
He had an empty glass waiting on the kitchen island in case you did. While you indulged in a drink now and then, he wouldn't allow you to have too many. He refused to have sex with you if you were inebriated. Said it took consent away and you wouldn't be alert enough to use a safeword if necessary.
He wouldn't budge on that rule.
“No, thanks,” you answered, gazing at him.
His T-shirt strained against his biceps, one flesh and one vibranium. You could still smell his cologne from the small distance across the room, amber and cedarwood. Warm, comforting, dominating. All the things he was to you.
Not the monster he sometimes believed himself to be.
You eyed him as he poured himself a shot of whiskey, the need to soothe him coming forward when you caught a distant look in his eyes. He didn't even make a move to down his drink as he set his hands on the counter and stared off. Maybe he couldn't give you the details about what happened, but you could take care of him.
Because as much as he sometimes had to have control over you, both of you had power in your relationship.
“Bucky?” You gently called out, pulling him from his trance. “You can talk to me, even if you have to keep some things to yourself.”
His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Three months.”
“I'm sorry?”
“Three months since we started this,” he answered.
You realized he was right when you remembered the date. It felt longer yet still brand new. “Yeah. Three great months,” you smiled.
A knot formed in your stomach when he didn't smile back. “And you still feel safe with me?” He asked, gripping the counter so hard you thought it might crumble in his hands. “You really trust that I won’t hurt you?”
Your smile slipped, the questions like a punch to the gut as you walked toward him. You stopped a foot in front of him to give him some breathing room as he made eye contact. Where had that come from? What happened to make him question that?
“Of course, I feel safe. Not only do I feel safe with you and trust you, I know that you won't hurt me. You will always take care of me,” you said with fierce determination, yet with a vulnerability you couldn't hide. “If I didn't believe that, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t submit to you.”
You told him the same thing the day you two agreed on this arrangement. He wasn't your boyfriend, but he wasn't like your ex. He wouldn't just throw you away without a second thought or ignore your needs. You also had faith in him that he wouldn't harm you.
And as much as you trusted him, he trusted you that much more. If he didn't, he wouldn't have called you in the first place. That meant he still trusted himself around you.
He looked away and asked above a whisper, “Do you still think I'm a good man?”
“Yes,” you replied without hesitation, your heart aching when his jaw clenched. “Bucky, look at me, please.”
He slowly made eye contact with you, a storm swirling in his stare.
“You are a good man,” you stated, needing to reach the part of him that believed it. “And it doesn't matter how many times you ask me that, my answer isn't going to change. Ever.”
Bucky was silent, his breathing the only sound in the space. You were worried that you said the wrong thing before he pushed himself away from the counter. Instead of moving back when he approached, you stood firm, ready to brace the storm. You sometimes felt like a mouse confronted by a lion when he got close, but it sent a thrill through you. Because you meant what you said.
You trusted him and he made you feel safe.
“I just had to hear you say it,” he whispered as he cupped your face.
A fire lit within you as Bucky captured your mouth with his. There was care and tenderness beneath the hunger and you found yourself clinging to his arms as you kissed him back. No one before him had ever kissed you with such desire, such passion. It had you chasing his lips when he pulled away too soon.
“Now go to my room, get undressed, and kneel on the bed facing the headboard,” he ordered, his voice low and allowing the words to sink in just in case you had any objections. Because he was done talking and ready to play.
So were you.
It took you a moment to answer since you had to bite back a whine. “Yes, Sir,” you whispered, feeling his eyes on you as you walked to his bedroom.
You focused on keeping your breathing even as you shed your clothes, taking a moment to fold them before you set them on the chair in the corner. The only time you left your garments on the floor was if Bucky put them there or had you put on a show for him. It was his space and you respected it.
He hadn't told you how long to wait for him, but your heart thumped as you knelt on the queen sized bed. You didn’t see any toys as you glanced around, but there was water, snacks, wipes, and the soft blanket you loved waiting on the nightstand. It took a moment for you to spot that there was a blindfold and scarf on top of the blanket. Your womb clenched in anticipation, an exquisite feeling knowing your patience and obedience would reward you.
Bucky walked through the door a minute later and shut it behind him. The energy shifted completely, both of you ready for each other. As much as you wanted to lift your gaze and look behind you, you kept your eyes downcast as he approached the bed. He cupped your cheek once he was close enough and forced your eyes to meet his.
“My beautiful angel,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your skin as you glowed from the praise. He reached for the scarf and ran his fingers across the silk as he glanced at you. “As much as I hate to cover those beautiful eyes of yours and restrain you, I want you to concentrate on my touch tonight. Just let me have you.”
A shiver rolled down your spine as you nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Hands behind your back,” he said, moving to secure them once you did so. The silk was soft against your skin, almost as soft as the kiss to your shoulder. After years of being restrained, you knew he felt guilty at times taking your control away. The difference was you gave yourself to him willingly. “Tell me your safewords.”
“Green is good. Yellow to pause,” you stated, testing the scarf. He never bound you too tight, but it was enough that you couldn’t slip your wrists free. “Red to stop."
“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You turned your head a fraction so he could slot his lips properly over yours. Gentle, yet hot enough to melt your insides. “My good girl.”
He maneuvered you so you were in the middle of the bed and spread your knees a bit further apart. He joined you on his knees, still fully clothed. Casting your gaze down again, you bit your lip when you saw the prominent bulge in his pants. A hand came up to grasp your chin before you could stare for too long and lifted your head. If you were still wearing your panties, they would’ve dampened from his darkened gaze.
“So beautiful and all mine tonight,” he said.
“I’m yours, Sir,” you whispered, the word “always” unspoken.
“And I know you were staring,” he smirked, his fingers working the button and zipper of his jeans. His impressive cock sprang free once he pushed his underwear and pants down far enough and you wished you could lean down and swirl your tongue around the large head. “Greedy angel. Just desperate to have my cock in you.”
“Yes, Sir. Please,” you begged.
He made a show of lifting the blindfold before he slipped it over your head, your body tensing up when your world went dark. Sight was one of the senses you relied on the most. It helped you absorb most of the world around you. And now it was temporarily gone. It felt like your heart would burst from your chest as you breathed a bit heavier. But Bucky was there, softly touching your face until you relaxed.
“Breathe, angel. I’ve got you,” he whispered, drawing a gasp from you when his lips touched yours. His hands mapped your body, brushing along your breasts down to your thighs. You felt him everywhere. “Color?”
“Green,” you whispered as a hand moved around your back and forced you to arch. He was careful not to hurt your arms. “Please.”
Your head fell back with a moan as his lips closed around your nipple. You could practically feel that he looked up at you as he gently suckled. A wave of arousal crashed through you as he pinched the other. No one had ever lavished your body with such attention the way Bucky did.
“I love seeing you like this,” he murmured against the swell of your breast. “Helpless. Trembling. Needy.”
You didn't mean to let such a wanton moan escape, but he made you feel needed. He made you feel wanted. It was a beautiful thing to surrender to him.
“And I love that I'm the one you trust to take care of you.”
“I trust you with my life, Sir,” you moaned.
And your heart, even though he had the power to break it.
Your chest suddenly felt colder when Bucky pulled his mouth and hand away and you shook from the loss of his heat. His vibranium hand touched your torso to remind you he was close when he shifted closer to you on the bed. You gasped when he dragged his hand down and you were helpless to do anything but feel when it slid between your legs.
“You're doing so well for me,” he said, his teeth grazing your neck as his fingers spread your sopping folds. He teased you, letting you soak his metal fingers as you mewled. He lightly bit you again when he replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding along your slit, but not pushing inside you just yet. “You want me inside you? You need me to fuck you, don't you? Tell me.”
Your cheeks flamed as you whined. “I need you to fuck me, Sir,” you said, trying to widen your thighs to take him in more.
“I will. I'm going to give you everything you need,” he rumbled, gripping your hips with strong and capable hands to keep you still. “And you’re going to let me ruin your pretty little pussy with my cock.”
You panted with want at his possessiveness. Filthy words were something you never thought you’d hear from someone associated with The Avengers and they kicked your body into overdrive. You ached to have him split you open. “Ruin me, Sir.”
In one swift move he lifted you, pulled you into his lap, and buried himself to the hilt. Your mouth fell open as you let out a cry, every inch of his cock stretching and making itself at home in your welcoming cunt. You couldn't brace yourself on his shoulders with your hands behind your back. You couldn't see the ecstasy in his eyes as he let you adjust to his size, but you didn't have to. Not with the way he dug his fingers in and groaned against your shoulder.
He took you to heaven when he was inside you.
“Color,” he said against your skin, thrusting his hips up once.
“Green,” you moaned, reminding yourself to stay still when you wanted him to move. “So green.”
“Good girl,” he whispered, gently kissing up to your ear. “Keep being good while I bounce you up and down on my cock.”
Your eyes fluttered behind the blindfold as he pulled you up and slammed you back down on his cock. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your heart beat frantically in your chest. It was difficult to string thoughts together, but they all went back to him and how good he made you feel. How he made you feel beautiful.
Flaws and all.
“It’s like your cunt was made for me, angel. Practically crying all over my cock,” his voice was smoky as sounds of pleasure tumbling from your lips. The next moan was softer when he slid a hand up to your neck, resting it there as the other kept your hips flush against his. “You deserve to feel good because you are good. So fucking good.”
Your lower lip trembled as a sob worked its way to your throat, “Thank you, Sir,” you whimpered before he squeezed.
“And I. Deserve. You.” He punctuated each word with a deep thrust. You didn’t have to see his face to know the fury that surfaced. “My angel. Mine.”
It overwhelmed you as he bounced you in his lap, sinking you down onto him again and again. His thrusts were almost unforgiving, but the hand on your throat didn’t tighten anymore. He couldn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt you.
“I’m your angel, Sir,” you moaned as he reduced you to a needy wet mess.
“I wanna tear you apart,” he growled against your lips. “And put you back together so you still feel me when you fucking breathe.”
“Tear me apart, Sir,” you gasped, a plea for him to use you more. Your thighs hit his as he thrust up and all you could do was take it. He touched places inside you no one else could reach, physically and emotionally, and you never wanted it to stop. “Please!”
“Tell me you need me to come inside you and I’ll let you come,” he ordered, the hand on your neck squeezing a fraction. “Say it.”
“Come inside me, Sir,” you begged.
“Bucky,” he breathed against your lips. “Say. My. Name.”
Your next breath was shaky. He always had you call him “Sir” on nights like this. Why was this different?
Your orgasm began to crest, but you couldn’t let go until you gave him what he wanted. And he’d give you what you needed. “Come inside me, Bucky,” you exhaled. “Please.”
He swiped his thumb along your pulse with a deep groan, his cock still driving up into you. “I will after you come,” he promised, his tongue sliding past your parted lips and pulling away all too quickly. “C’mon, angel. Come for me. Show me you’re mine.”
The sob you tampered down earlier resuraced, wrenched from your throat as you came. Your release continued, practically leaking around his cock as tears slid out beneath the blindfold. You were beyond rational thought as pleasure spiraled through you, vaguely aware that he thrust through it to chase his own end.
“Good. Fucking. Girl.” He grunted, pulsing hotly inside you as he filled you up.
Both of you panted as you continued to drift from euphoria, your heart still beating wildly. You were warm, but your body shivered as he lifted you up. Your combined release slid from your aching cunt once he slipped free. You floated and wanted him to catch you, but you couldn’t put your arms around him.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered when you let out a whimper. He made quick work of untying your wrists so he could lay you down properly and wipe away the tears still on your cheeks. “I’m going to take the blindfold off.”
Your eyes stayed shut for a moment when Bucky removed it, but you cracked them open when you wanted to see him. Your vision slowly cleared as you blinked a few times, your mind still floating as he came into view. He called you an angel, but he was the one who had a halo around his head at the moment. A gorgeous angel who had unrightfully had his wings taken away. He smiled like he wanted to eat you alive, but his touch was nothing short of tender when he brought his hand to your face.
“So fucking beautiful. You did so well for me. Fuck, I just wanna clean you with my tongue and fill you up all over again,” he praised as you clenched around nothing and whined. As hot as it sounded, you needed a bit of rest after that. “Not tonight,” he smiled, keeping a hand on you as he grabbed a wipe.
A reason he had everything close by was because you craved his touch after sex. If he ever got too far away, you whimpered and reached for him. It made you feel needy, but he assured you that he needed to keep touching you just as badly.
It just wasn’t fair that he looked so composed.
Bucky continued to shower you with soft praise as he cleaned you up. It didn’t take him long before he wrapped the soft blanket around you, trembles moved through your entire body as he put his arms around you, too. He took aftercare very seriously. It was a way for you to feel cared for and nurtured while allowing your body and brain to return back to normal. He never wanted you to experience negativity or sadness after any sort of session, especially an intense one.
You were aware that he moved you closer in his arms and rested his cheek against the top of your head, but you weren't ready to speak yet. It always took you a minute to come back to yourself and he was never one to rush or push you. If relaxing in his embrace was what it took to return to the world, he was more than content to keep you in his arms.
At least, that was what he told you.
You opened your eyes after a few minutes. Your heartbeat was back to a steady rhythm, but you still weren't ready to move yet. You were warm and safe. Bucky was there to take care of you. But what about him?
Had you taken care of him?
Bucky had a faint smile on his face when you lifted your head, his shoulders relaxed and eyes soft. Like he was at ease with everything around him. “Welcome back, angel,” he whispered, peppering your face with light kisses.
“Hey,” you smiled tiredly, your voice a little hoarse as you brought a hand to his hair, happy that you could touch him again. Judging by the way his eyes slipped shut for a moment before he opened them, he missed your touch, too.
“You okay?”
“I am and so are you. You're okay.” It wasn't a question. Whatever haunted him earlier was gone.
For now.
He didn't tear his gaze away as he reached for the water behind him, which you gratefully accepted as he put it to your lips. “You amaze me, you know? You just came back to yourself, but you're talking about me being okay.”
“Isn’t that why you call me?” You asked with a small frown, taking another large sip. “To help you?”
His brows furrowed. “It’s not just about me. This is about you, too.”
You took one more drink before you could say something stupid. Yes, this was about you, too. How he didn't push too far. How he’d hold you after sex and talk with you because those things were important to you. How he made you feel cherished and wanted for a short while.
You just didn't want to admit that he was a constant in your mind. But would it be so wrong if you did? Even if he’d never date you, didn't he have a right to know how you felt?
Communication was key and you would have to eventually tell him if those feelings persisted.
“It’s about both of us and I just want you to be okay,” is what you said because it was the truth.
He set the water aside and cupped your cheek, his calloused hand a little cool, but nice. You almost wished you could hide from his knowing eyes, but he didn’t press you for more. “I am now,” he said, swallowing a little. “I just couldn't let you see me tonight.”
Worry filled his eyes like he may have upset you, but you shook your head. You had seen his scars, but he was never obligated to show you his body. “You're letting me see you now,” you said, scooting closer as he brought your wrist to his mouth to kiss it.
You thought about how the evening played out. How he asked if you thought he was a good man. How he demanded that you speak his name. And how he said he deserved you. Either something happened while he was gone or someone said or did something to get to him. You wished you knew what it was since he didn’t expand on what had been eating away at him before.
“And before you ask, you didn't hurt me,” you told him, knowing the question was coming. You appreciated that he cared enough to check.
He pressed a kiss to your temple. “Good because I’d never stop hating myself if I did,” he admitted, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “You don't deserve that kind of pain.”
Your heart swelled, not letting any past hurt enter your mind. He made you believe that you deserved better than what you had. It was a good feeling.
“Neither do you. And that's a reason why safewords exist. Both of us can use them,” you reminded him. Like aftercare, he took the words seriously. He listened to you. And if he ever got overwhelmed, he had every right to stop it the same way you did. “So no self-hate tonight.”
He huffed in mock annoyance. “Yes, ma’am. And speaking of self-hate,” he teased, tilting his head to look your way. “I really don’t want to go to therapy tomorrow.”
There was a forced calmness in his blue eyes as you assessed him. “You still don’t like your therapist,” you stated.
One of the conditions of his pardon was that he had to go to therapy. It was meant to help him process his thoughts and past experiences in order to work through them. Though he didn’t tell you what went on in his sessions as it was none of your business, he didn’t keep it a secret from you that the doctor was far from his favorite person.
You wondered if Bucky told her about you.
“What’s there to like?” He asked.
You smiled a little, knowing better than to poke the bear and say she probably wasn't that bad. “Well, being able to speak to someone who provides non-judgemental and empathetic support is one thing.”
“That’s why I like talking to you,” he said, the affection in his voice making your heart skip a beat.
“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say.
Moments like that made you think he cared. No, that wasn’t right. You knew he cared about you. But hearing things like that made you feel like there was hope for more and he wasn’t ready for that.
Hope was both a wonderful and dangerous thing.
“Have you met anyone else?” He asked suddenly, moving his hand to your back.
It was a question Bucky asked every time he had you over. He said from the start if there was another man in your life that you’d rather be with, someone who could offer you more, he’d step aside. There wasn't anyone else. You didn't want anyone else.
And while it was admirable that he would walk away if that ever changed, your heart ached at the thought that he’d easily let you go. Because at the end of the day he wasn't ready for a relationship. Not yet.
Even if he was, who said he wanted one with you?
“No, I haven't met anyone,” you said, feeling the warm breath of his exhale against your skin as his hand moved up and down your back. It relaxed you more and you found yourself fighting a yawn. “Have you?”
“No,” he chuckled. The crinkles by his eyes made him look carefree. “Not since you saved me.”
You shut your eyes, afraid that tears would well up if you looked at him. “I didn't save you. All I did was buy you a coffee one afternoon,” you whispered dismissively.
That day changed your life.
“I’m going to let that slide since you're sleepy, but I’m going to remind you when you're wide awake that you did a lot more than that,” he spoke. He held you a little tighter when you stayed quiet. You were more tired than you thought. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You let your eyes shut at his command. “Thank you for taking care of me, Bucky.”
“Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
There was something else unspoken in the air, but a tender kiss to your forehead stopped you from reading too deeply into it.
In the morning, he’d send you back to your place after he made you breakfast. He’d text you later to make sure you were okay. He would continue to check in and you would do your best not to fall for him more. Because one day he wouldn't need you anymore. You didn't know when that day would come, but tonight you could indulge in the fantasy that Bucky wanted you to be his girl.
Permanently.
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I just want these two happy and together. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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catmiemy · 4 months ago
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Not Work Day (Aitana Bonmatí x Reader)
Summary: Aitana and you spend a rare day off together.
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A/N: This is just a silly little story I thought of a while ago and finally wrote in hopes of getting into more of a writting mood again. So many ideas and so little ability to put them on 'paper' lately...
I hope you enjoy this one! :)
Dating a professional football player wasn’t always easy. Whenever you mentioned that to anyone they usually assumed you referred to your girlfriend having to travel a lot or the lack of days off together because of conflicting schedules, or the interest the nosey media and even nosier public had in your relationship.
And sure, all of these things could be tricky at times, but there was something else that was even harder to bear; seeing your girlfriend being worked to the ground with almost no time to recuperate properly. Before you started dating Aitana you had never thought much about it, now it haunted you during the days and disturbed your dreams.
Every new injury you heard about made your stomach drop, always wondering the same thing, what if next time it would be your girlfriend going down with some horrible injury? The guilt always followed close behind, with your berating yourself for being happy in any capacity that someone else got hurt.
More often than not it was a struggle to watch Aitana’s games. You had a tendency to clench every single muscle in your body until the final whistle was blown, and you could be sure that nothing bad had happened.
For a while you did your best to keep these concerns to yourself, not wanting to make Aitana worry about you unnecessarily. Convinced that if you just wanted it enough, you would get over this.
You should have known that your girlfriend would catch on; she was too perceptive not to notice it, too concerned about your well-being to miss it.
When she did you explained somewhat reluctantly what was bothering you; the last thing you wanted was for your girlfriend to feel guilty. This wasn’t her fault at all and she shouldn’t feel bad about playing the sport she loved.
Despite your best efforts to downplay it, the first thing you saw in Aitana’s eyes once you finished your explanation was guilt. Most likely because you were looking for that emotion specifically, but in that moment you couldn’t think rationally like this. You were about to apologize, try and take it back somehow, when she asked you one simple question.
“Is there anything we can do to make you feel better about it?”
Up until that point it had never occurred to you to think about possible ways to make the situation easier for yourself. Usually your thoughts had been centered around scolding yourself for being such a worrywart. It made you oddly emotional that Aitana took you this seriously and didn’t dismiss your concerns.
Neither of you found a satisfying answer to the question that night, but over time you came up with something that helped, a tradition that you called ‘not work days’. 
On one of these ‘not work days’ you were awoken by Aitana trying to get up. Without opening your eyes you reached out to grab her wrist and pull her back into bed. You were met by some resistance, forcing you to open your eyes and scowl at the brunette.
“Hey, you work or not work?” You asked, leaving no room for interpretation what the correct answer was.
Aitana rolled her eyes at you, but relented, snuggling back into you much to your delight. You wrapped your arms around her and buried your face in her shoulder.
“I’m never going to be free of that stupid phrase, am I?” She grumbled.
“Nope,” you agreed, “And now hush, it’s way too early to be up on a not work day.”
You felt some lingering tenseness in your girlfriend’s body, apparently she wasn’t fully ready yet to commit to resting some more. It was time to pull out your magic weapon; you began gently tracing small circles in the space between Aitana’s eyebrows. It worked like a charm. Within seconds the brunette fell back asleep and you let yourself drift off as well.
The next time you woke up it was on your own accord, like you hoped it would be. Usually when you managed to get your girlfriend back to sleep she didn’t wake up again until late in the morning. In your mind a clear indication that the Spaniard needed this extra rest.
You allowed yourself to linger in bed a little longer to hold Aitana in your arms and watch her sleep. It was rare for her to be still if she was awake, always moving around, busy with one thing after another.
Mostly the midfielder loved it and was happy with her life, but sometimes it became all too much. She had confided in you a while back that being with you had helped her to finally find a healthy balance in her life. That was without a doubt the biggest compliment anyone had ever given you.
After a few more minutes you placed a soft kiss on your girlfriend’s forehead, before carefully extracting yourself and moving to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Breakfast in bed was a staple of the not work days..
You hummed happily to yourself while you made an omelet, mixed a smoothie and cut up some cherry tomatoes. And of course you couldn’t forget about the coffee! When everything was ready you walked back to the bedroom, ready to wake up Aitana with some gentle cuddles.
However, your plan was thwarted. You opened the door and instantly spotted your girlfriend on her cell phone. This in itself wasn’t a problem, but the way she had crunched up her nose and her eyebrows were knitted together, revealed to you that she was most likely looking at something work related. She looked too stressed for this to be anything else.
“What are you doing?” You demanded, “This is a not work day!”
You expected the Catalan to smile at you apologetically, instead a huge grin appeared on her face and she turned her phone around. It took a moment until you realized why she had done that; your girlfriend was recording the entire interaction and apparently she thought this was hilarious.
“Haha, very funny,” you grumbled, “I really thought you were working already.”
“I know, you should have seen your face,” Aitana replied between laughter, “Oh wait, you can. Come over here, mi amor.” She patted the bed next to her, but you remained standing. You would have crossed your arms, but the breakfast tray was stopping you from doing so.
“Don’t be like that, mi amor. I’m only giving back what you’ve been handing out. Or do I have to remind you how often you’re sending me that stupid ‘You work or not work’ video? How you even added some cute animal pictures to the beginning of it, so I wouldn’t recognize right away what clip it is? You violated the sanctity of cute animal pictures!”
The midfielder sounded so scandalized by this that you couldn’t help but crack a smile. You shuffled over to the bed, leaning over to give your girlfriend a good morning kiss. Just like you hoped this successfully distracted her from the stupid video she had recorded because you had no interest in watching it. You were admittedly better at teasing than being teased.
“So what’s the plan for today?” Aitana asked, tucking into her breakfast. “This is so good by the way.”
“No plans, we just do whatever you want to do,” you responded, deliberately ignoring her praise. Dealing with compliments also wasn’t one of your strengths.
“Whatever I want?” The Catalan asked with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes. “Everything that’s within the rules of not work days,” you clarified.
“But coming up with ideas is work too,” your girlfriend complained.
“My poor baby! Okay, here are some ideas; we can bundle up on the couch and watch a movie, we can make cookies, we can take a walk in the rain…”
“Yes! Let’s take a walk in the rain,” Aitana interrupted, her choice surprising you. The midfielder wasn’t known for liking the rain, in fact she made no secret of how much she hated the rain.
“Really?” You double-checked.
Your girlfriend nodded, “Yeah, you made it sound so romantic a few days ago. Both of us under one umbrella, the rain pattering on it, huddling close together for warmth. Sounds like a movie scene.”
“Okay then, let’s do it.”
The two of you got ready, Aitana putting on much more clothes than you. Normally you would tease your girlfriend about it, but you didn’t want to risk her remembering the video she had taken earlier.
In the beginning the walk was actually romantic. The sound of the pitter patter on the umbrella was soothing, especially with how quiet and deserted the roads were. You breathed in deeply, savoring the smell of rain. Aitana was snuggling into your side and when you looked over she had a soft smile on her lips.
Before too long however, you noticed that your girlfriend clung a little too strongly to you and she was dragging her feet. This time when you glanced her way you were met by an unhappy expression, though it quickly morphed into a forced smile as soon as Aitana noticed your eyes on her.
You pulled her to a stop. “What is it, babe?”
“My feet are wet,” the Catalan whined.
Your eyes snapped to her feet. Your girlfriend was wearing her favorite and already pretty worn sneakers. It wasn’t really surprising that they weren’t able to withstand the rain anymore.
“Then let’s go back home,” you stated, already turning around and tugging Aitana’s hand to follow you.
“No, I don’t want to ruin this.”
You turned to face the midfielder again, cupping her cheek with your free hand.
“And I don’t want you to be miserable, or worse get sick. And anyway this is your not work day, so you should only do things you’re enjoying.”
Aitana nuzzled slightly into your palm, smiling up at you. “Okay, but I disagree, it’s our not work day.”
You walked back rapidly to your apartment and when you got there you sent the brunette to the bedroom with the instruction to change into something comfy and get rid of her wet socks.
“Don’t put on other ones though! I have something for you,” you added.
A few minutes later you met Aitana back at the couch, a cup of tea in one hand and the other one hidden behind your back. Your girlfriend craned her neck, trying to sneak a peek, but you didn’t allow it.
“Show meeeee,” the Catalan begged.
You followed the request, showing her the fluffy socks you had bought a while back. A huge smile spread across Aitana’s face as she saw them.
“They look so comfortable. Thank you! But how did you know I would need them?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “I didn’t. I just bought them randomly for a not work day. It’s pure luck that you got wet feet today.”
“Or maybe this was all part of an elaborate evil plan to get me to undress my feet in front of you,” Aitana joked.
“You got me there. That’s why I raved about walks in the rain and that’s why I suggested it this morning. I even sabotaged your shoes,” you explained with a serious face.
Your girlfriend giggled happily. “I guess in that case you’ve earned the right to put on the new socks and give me a foot rub afterwards,” she said, sticking her feet out towards you.
“How generous of you!” You exclaimed, quickly putting on the fluffy socks.
Then you went to sit down next to Aitana to give her the requested foot rub, but you stopped in your tracks when you saw the midfielder glaring at you.
“Everything okay?” You asked uncertainly.
“No!” The brunette cried out, making your heart beat faster; what had you done wrong? “I need you to change into comfortable clothes as well. This doesn’t look like a good outfit to relax in.”
You looked down yourself and only now realized that you were still wearing jeans. “Oh, I guess you’re right.”
Before you got a change to move away, Aitana caught your hand and pulled you in for a kiss. “Sorry for scaring you. I didn’t realize it would actually make you anxious,” she apologized. “And now go, I need my girlfriend to warm me up.”
You were happy to oblige, hurrying to the bedroom.
“And can you bring the laptop back with you? I’m in the mood for some online shopping,” Aitana shouted after you.
You were happy to do so since it signified that your girlfriend had fully gotten into the swing of the not work day. It was always the same; in the beginning she didn’t know what she wanted to do, but as time progressed the midfielder became more attuned to her own desires that she so often put on the back burner.
On your return you handed Aitana the laptop before plopping down by her feet, taking them in your lap for the promised foot rub. You hadn’t even started yet, when your girlfriend let out a surprise “Oh”, pulling her feet back and scooting closer to you instead.
“What are these?” She asked, showing you the screen with your last internet search. It had completely slipped your mind what you had been looking at the day before.
“Dresses,” you offered up dryly.
“Yeah, I can see that. Any special occasion?” Aitana probed.
“You know the answer to that. It’s not every day you get to accompany your girlfriend to an award show for the best football players in the world,” you replied nervously; although you didn’t know why you felt nervous about this.
“Aw, I really appreciate that!” Your girlfriend cooed, her eyes flickering over the screen, “Can I help pick?”
You nodded; that had always been the plan. Since this was the first time you were going along as Aitana’s partner you wanted to look your best, so another opinion was definitely needed.
“Some of them are pretty expensive,” the Catalan mentioned carefully.
Money had always been a touchy subject between the two of you. Aitana had a lot more of it than you did; still you didn’t feel comfortable with constantly letting her pay, insisting that you took turns. The brunette wasn’t too happy about that, but by now you had found some middle ground, usually going to less expensive places when it was your turn to pay.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” you dismissed Aitana’s concern, “And I want to look worthy of my girlfriend. You know she’s currently the best football player in the world?”
“You sound so proud of me.”
Atiana’s voice was oddly quit; it made you wonder if she doubted that you were proud of her. You thought back to the last few games and realized with a start that you couldn’t remember the last time you had actually said these words. This way worrying, especially considering your girlfriend had a hard time believing things unless she heard them over and over again.
“That’s because I am,” you responded firmly, vowing to do better.
“Even if it makes you anxious?” The brunette wondered.
You sighed, rubbing your face. “Let’s be honest, no matter what job you had, I would always be anxious about something. That’s the annoying thing about anxiety; it’ll always find something else to worry about.”
Aitana looked up at you hopefully, “So you don’t hate that I’m a footballer?”
“What? No, of course not! And I’m sorry if I made you feel like that,” you apologized.
“Well that’s good then,” your girlfriend announced, a smirk appearing on her face, “But hey, is working out issues even allowed on a not work day? Or did you just break your own rules?”
You rolled your eyes, “Of course it’s allowed and since they’re my rules, I can change them whenever I want.”
Aitana raised her eyebrows, fighting to keep her face neutral, “Oh really, is that how it works?”
“Yes,” you nodded sagely.
A devilish grin appeared on your girlfriend’s face, and too late you recognized your mistake.
“In that case I’m making my own rules as well and decide that I get to buy you this blue dress.” She pointed to the one that was your absolute favorite, but that was also firmly out of your price range.
“Aitana,” you groaned, “That’s not how it works!”
“Oh? If you can make up random rules, so can I,” the Catalan pointed out, daring you to disagree with her.
“That’s not the same at all. I don’t want you to spend money on my clothes,” you argued
“Why not? If you think about it, I’ll get to appreciate your dress much more than you. I can admire you in it all night long, and maybe I’ll even get to take if off of you. And this dress will look stunning on you; it will really bring out your eyes.”
“Fine”, you relented, making your girlfriend squeal happily. There was one more thing to say though, so you stopped Aitana’s over the top celebration with one hand. “But this means you can only get me something small for my birthday.
“Okay,” the midfielder agreed suspiciously quickly.
“And I mean that, Tana!” You doubled down.
Your girlfriend nodded, but seemed to be only half-listening, too busy adding the dress to your cart. You would just have to bring it up again when your birthday was closer because you wouldn’t be budging on that.
After Aitana successfully ordered the dress, she leaned back with a content sigh.
“I really love these not work days, you know?”
Your heart leapt happily at that concession.  “Me too, babe.”
Sometimes you wished you got more of them, but maybe not having them all the time made them extra special.
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milkteabinniechan · 4 months ago
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♡Waking Dreams - Changbin
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MINORS DNI 18+ONLY MEMBERSHIP//M.LIST
pairing: bf! Changbin x fem! reader
summary: Binnie loves to watch you sleep, you just look so peaceful. But one night he comes home a little drunk and a lot horny and you've already gone to bed. Some needs are too strong to ignore...
warnings: somnophilia!!!, oral (f. receiving), mentions of alcohol
“Working late again?”
You poked your head out from the kitchen. You could hear the sounds of Changbin getting ready to head back to the studio. He had been working incredibly long hours and you could see the exhaustion on his face.
He walked out of the bathroom and gave you a solemn nod. He loved his job, loved it more than anything. Almost anything. He walked over to where you were standing in the kitchen and slowly wrapped his arms around your waist. With his chest to your neck, he held you close against him and buried his face into your neck.
“I'm sorry.” He muttered out. The light vibrations of his words sending a shiver down your spine. You sighed sympathetically and let your head fall back onto his shoulder.
“It's fine. I just miss you, Binnie.”
Your words shot like an arrow through Changbin's heart. He missed you too. More than he could describe at this moment. You glanced up at the clock and knew he had to leave soon. The two of you sighed heavily and you walked with him to the front door.
Changbin pressed his lips softly and methodically into yours, making sure that you could feel how badly he wanted to stay. You melted into his kiss and returned his intensity. A silent message of love and affection shared and traveled between your lips to his.
“Just try to stay awake for me, yeah?” His eyes were somewhere between hopeful and pleading.
You gave him a sly smirk, a hint of something brewing in your mind. Changbin tilted his head curiously.
“I may already be asleep when you get home. But would that really be the worst thing?” You held that smirking look, your question lingering in the air between the two of you.
“What? No, no I couldn't do that.” Changbin huffed. Sure, he had thought about the possibility. Watching you sleeping peacefully, he'd thought about reaching his hand out and seeing how your body would respond to his touch.
You leaned in and kissed his cheek softly, “well see.”
That night, Changbin came home expectedly late. What was unexpected was the pub visit on the way home. All the boys wanted to celebrate a hard day's work, and while he agreed to a drink or two he didn't expect the buzzed, flighty feeling when he walked in the door. He kicked off his shoes and started to unbuckle his belt when he caught sight of you sprawled onto the bed. Your body was laid out and displayed for him like a tempting buffet for a starving man. And a starving man he was. He scoffed at your blatant attempt to seduce him. He finished removing his clothes and crawled into bed next to you.
“Ha, ha. Very funny.” He nudged your shoulder, trying to get you to open your eyes and give up this charade.
Instead, a small smile spread across your lips, your eyes still closed and feigning sleep.
“So, this is how you wanna play it, huh?” Changbin's voice was now a mix of teasing and challenging.
Changbin lowered his mouth slowly to your neck and started slow, soft kisses down the sensitive skin there. He looked up to see you still pretending to sleep. He was impressed by your commitment to this little game, and he was curious to see how far he could take this.
His kisses traveled lower down the length of your body, grazing past your tank top until he reached the top of your waistband. He looked up once more to see if you had given him any kind of reaction, but you still continued your peaceful rest. Changbin felt a strange sensation building inside of his core. The sight of you peacefully asleep was much more exciting than he had expected it to be. His cock twitched and flexed as he continued to kiss and lick down your waist, his lips lingering at your soft, inner thighs. He growled low and primal as he felt the heat coming from your entrance. The tempting, delicious buffet now was too much for him to resist.
Changbin hooked his fingers around your waistband and swiftly pulled, exposing your bare and sensitive skin to his already salivating mouth. You whimpered softly as Changbin’s mouth inches closer and closer to you.
“Told you, you couldn't resist.” You whispered confidently, looking down at his face between your legs.
Changbin looked up at you with a cocky, hungry smile.
“Shh, you're supposed to be asleep.”
Your heartbeat quickened and your body tightened at Changbin's request. You nodded your head and laid back, pretending to be asleep.
Changbin chuckled softly, his eyes darkening as he watched your eyes close once again. He slid his hands up your thighs, stopping at your hips to grip tightly for leverage. He moved in closer to your dripping cunt, your excitement evident. Your clit was already beginning to swell before he had even opened his mouth for the first lick. But the first lick was always his favorite, and he was going to take his time.
The first flick of his tongue caused your body to flinch slightly. His tongue parting your lips and moving in to momentarily taste your clit. He loved the way your body reacted to every movement, every tiny flick of jerk of his tongue caused your muscles to tense beneath his touch.
“That's it…” Changbin groaned between laps of his tongue. Each long stroke causes your back to arch more and more. He pushed his face further into you, his lips slurping and smacking against your swollen, sensitive clit.
Staying quiet was almost impossible now. You gripped the bed sheets tightly and held your breath, trying with every fiber of your being to keep up the ruse of sleep. But despite your best efforts, desperate and needy moans begin to spill out of your mouth at an increasing rate. Your body was steadily unraveling beneath Changbin's tongue and there was no pretending to sleep anymore.
Changbin sucked and pulled on your clit now, feeling how close you were to release and knowing exactly how to get you there.
“Binnie…!” You whined out as your orgasm poured over you and crashed through you like an angry sea.
Changbin's tongue slowed down naturally and easily, helping you ride out the final waves of your climax. You smiled between your thighs like a satisfied animal, your juices still dripping from his lips.
You fell back limp and laughed softly. You looked back down at him, still resting there. He looked up at you again with a devilish grin,
“Next time, I'll make sure you're really asleep.” Changbin mused softly to himself.
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slytherweasley · 2 years ago
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Late (poly marauders x reader)
Warnings: swearing, smut, oral, penetration, unprotected sex, shower sex, dirty talk
Summary: the marauders are known for being late because of their needs constantly being fulfilled.
(Thank you so much for 5k)
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You always ended up being late no matter where you would go. People started noticing when you would be early or on time rather than when you were late. You never had a problem with it before you were dating your three boyfriends.
Now you had to satisfy the needs of your three teenage boyfriends who are constantly horny and their needs make you needy. The weekends are usually spent in their dorm fucking all day long.
You started getting ready for school and other commitments earlier however it didn’t fix the problem. You’d get in the shower in the morning and Remus would meet you in there.
“Morning baby” he says undressing and getting into the shower with you. “Morning Rem” you press a kiss to his lips and shortly after your greetings you’d be pressed up against the shower wall as Remus pounds into you.
It was almost a daily ritual.
“Fuck right there” you wrap your legs tighter around his torso as he brings you both closer to your orgasm. “Such a good girl” he groans into your ear sending you over the edge and finishing around him.
He finishes inside you, cleans you up and you’re both ready for the day until your other two boyfriends wake up. “Y/n” James whines, you cuddle up next to him “morning Jamie” you press a kiss to his forehead “you’re so pretty” he compliments.
You could already feel how hard he was. “You want me to suck your cock?” You ask and press a kiss to his cheek “yes, yes I do please” he begs.
You pull down his pyjama pants letting his cock free and waste no time in sucking him off. Sirius gets up “fuck this is hot” he says. He gets onto the bed and lifts up your skirt pulling down your underwear.
James’s moans make you incredibly wet as Sirius discovers. “Baby, you’re so fucking wet, I just want to help you” you take your lips off James’s cock “Siri, please eat me out” James whines at the cold air hitting his cock.
You move your mouth back onto his cock and Sirius eats you out from behind. Remus watches from his bed jerking off to the three of you.
James groans each time you moan around his cock. “I’m close” he warns and finishes in your mouth. Sirius flips you over so you’re laying beside James allowing him better access to your pussy.
James joins Sirius in eating you out, his tongue teases your entrance. Remus joins the three of you and pressed kisses to your face and neck.
You hold onto Remus’s hand as you finish. The boys clean you up and fix your uniform as you calm down after the intense high.
Once the four of you are ready you make it to the end of breakfast grabbing whatever is left and quickly eating it on the way to your next class.
After your first class of the day, Sirius met you outside your class and walked you to your next class with him. You are potions partners which meant Sirius could be close to you, he rested his hand on your thigh and you knew he had a motive.
His hand slowly crept up your thigh until he was circling your clit over your underwear. You looked at him as you tried not to make a sound. Your hand moves to his bulge massaging his semi hard cock.
As soon as you were dismissed you made your way to the closest broom closet. Sirius casts a silencing spell and pulls your underwear down. You help him unbutton his constricted pants and underwear letting his cock free.
He pushes you up against the wall and shoves himself inside you immediately pounding inside you. You were both the vocal ones in your relationship. Sirius grunts and groans keeping his hands securely around your waist muttering filthy words into your ear.
“So tight, just want to fill you up with my cock.” “Stretching out that tight little pussy.” You moan and squeeze around him.
He fucks into your a couple more times. “Fuck so wet” he cries out “so good” you moan. “Gonna pull out and cum in your mouth baby, ok?” You nod. He pulls out and you bring your mouth to his cock as he finishes and you swallow it all.
He helps you put your underwear on and fixes your skirt “thank you” you say your head still foggy and submissive “No baby, thank you. You’re too good to me” he presses a kiss to your forehead.
Sirius walks you to your class pressing a kiss on your lips before you walk in late and sit next to Remus. “At least one of you was on time today” your professor says,
Remus already could tell you’d been fucked. “Sirius?” He questions you “yeah, like 2 minutes ago” you could tell by Remus’s tone and body language he was a bit jealous he didn’t get to join in.
From then to the end of the day you’d met up with Remus to suck him off in an empty hallway and James had eaten you out in a broom closet.
You never seemed to tire of their neediness. It made you feel loved and wanted.
Both you and James always had the last class off on a Thursday. You met in his dorm, he was already in and excited to see you, he meets you with a kiss and starts undressing.
“In a rush Jamie?” You ask “I need to you to ride me” “It’s okay I will.” James undresses you down to your underwear, your lips connect with his as the two of you desperately hunger for each other.
“I need to be inside you” James mumbles against your lips quickly before pressing his lips to yours once again. You tug on James’ hair, he moans into the kiss.
You finally give in to him and start to unclasp your bra and pull off your underwear. James sits up getting undressed and waits for you with his cock hard and painful.
You straddle him lining him up with your entrance, you both give each other a meaningful look of anticipation. You sink down onto his cock, you both moan at the feeling.
You move up and down until you find the perfect pace that fills the room up with your moans and the sound of your skin meeting as you ride him. Your hips move up and down and side to side making yourself feel good on his cock.
The door swings open, Sirius and Remus walk in. “Fuck me” Sirius drops his bag and walks over to the bed “Is Jamie being a good boy for you, darling?” Remus asks “yes so good” you don’t stop the pace until you feel yourself getting close.
Sirius touches you all over placing kisses on your jaw and neck while Remus holds your hand. “Fuck I’m almost there” you let your hips move at a fast pace moving in every direction that makes you feel good. You look over at James as he looks infatuated with you, you can tell he is close.
“Jamie, you don’t cum until I do” he nods. He concentrates on not finishing. You feel yourself getting closer, the boys can tell you’re almost there. “Good girl” Remus presses a kiss to your cheek “cum for us sweetheart” Sirius encourages.
You squeeze around James and finish around him, seconds later you feel James finish inside you.
You cuddle up next to James while Remus cleans you up. You feel your eyes getting heavier as you drift off to sleep.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year ago
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End of the Road || LH44
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader Summary: when you and your husband both have a surprise to share you find your plans for the future clashing Warnings: 18+ only, pregnancy, angst, fluff WC: 2.9k F1 Masterlist
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30th November 2025
You had waited two long years for this day to come. When Lewis had told you he was extending his contract with Mercedes back in 2023 you had struggled to accept it. You could feel your body clock counting down and wanted nothing more than to start a family with Lewis but refused to have him be a part time father because of his career. You knew he was made to be a father, you had seen it in every interaction with his nieces and nephews as well as his young fans, it was just a matter of finding the right time to retire.
That day had finally come.
You woke with a smile on your face and rolled over in Lewis’ arms to see him watching you, his own smile playing at his lips.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
There was no hiding your excitement as you pushed him onto his back and straddled his hips. Your hands rested on his chest, fingers tracing the tattoos that decorated his skin. “Are you excited, Lew?”
“I am,” he hummed as his large hands ran up your thighs to rest on your hips. “I actually have a surprise.”
Your smile grew and you dipped your head down to kiss him. “Me too.”
Lewis’ phone rang beside the bed and you saw Toto’s name flash up on the screen. With a groan, you climbed off your husband and went to start your morning routine before heading to the race. Soon, you told yourself, soon there would be no more early interruptions from team principles or blacked out SUVs arriving to take you to your next destination.
The paddock was electrifying and the crowds went wild for Lewis when he stepped out onto the grid for his final driver’s parade. You watched on proudly from the balcony above the Mercedes pit space with Roscoe by your side.
“I’m going to miss this,” you said as you bent down and scratched him under his chin. “You’re going to miss this too, or the extra attention at least.”
Roscoe looked up at you with sad eyes as if he could understand exactly what you were saying and you smiled. “But I promise you won’t be lonely. You’ll have some company soon enough.”
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“And that is the end of the 2025 season. Sir Lewis Hamilton, the seven time world champion has officially won his long awaited eighth championship! What a career this man has had and he will be sorely missed by the teams and fans alike.”
Your throat was hoarse from all the screaming you had done in support of your husband as he crossed the finish line just ahead of Lando Norris to secure the title that had once been stolen from him. You couldn’t believe that after 18 years in Formula 1 he got to finish on a high. Nico Rosenberg was right to retire after winning his championship because it had been disheartening to watch so many other world champions fall down the rankings before losing their seats. It had been one of Lewis’ fears confessed in the late night conversations you shared on other ends of the world. 
You picked up Roscoe and pulled a custom made shirt over his head before tucking his paws in the armholes and racing down to the pit lane. The Mercedes team made space for you to reach the metal barrier just as Lewis parked his car up one last time. Standing above the halo, he threw his fists up and let the cheers saturate his being for a moment, committing it to memory before he leapt down and kissed the car. A thank you, a farewell? You wouldn’t know.
He spotted you in an instant, flipping his visor up so you could see the tears shimmering in his eyes as he made his way over. His fingers traced the lettering that decorated the car with each step, ‘still I rise’, it was his mantra and his reminder. Those were the same letters inked across his shoulders and you had kissed them that morning before he pulled his shirt on. 
Roscoe barked at his daddy’s approach and you barely kept him in your arms when Lewis reached you, pulling you both into a tight hug. His face was damp with sweat and tears when you kissed him but it didn’t register in your mind.
“I’m so proud of you!” 
“Couldn’t have done it without you, darling.” His grin split his face and you could have stayed in that moment forever, but post race interviews were calling him away. “Remember that surprise?”
You nodded and he winked as he quickly stepped away to take the microphone held out to him, his fingers slipping from yours. Lewis waved to the crowd as he stepped onto the red carpet laid out and the first question had your stomach turning.
Rumours…there had always been rumours running rife around the paddock. There were rumours long before you stepped foot in the F1 world and there would be rumours long after you stepped out. But this rumour was one you hadn’t heard about.
Your ears started thrumming with the rush of blood to your head and you stopped hearing everything after Lewis smiled. You knew that smile. That was the relieved smile after successfully keeping a secret. That was the smile you had seen when he proposed to you, the same smile he had when he flew you to Barbados for your birthday.
“Yes, it’s true,” he said as he blocked one ear from the noise the crowd made. “Things changed, the seat came up unexpectedly and I said yes. I’ll be back here next year with Mercedes.”
Roscoe squirmed in your arms as you tried to take his shirt off and you placed him at your feet before he could hurt himself or you. Your hands scrambled to hold the metal as your chest began to tighten - the plans you had made together crumbling at the news. 
“Roscoe!” 
Your cry somehow caught Lewis’ attention over the deafening atmosphere and he turned to see his furbaby sneak under the barrier and run towards him. Dropping to his knee, still clutching the mic, Lewis greeted his regular sidekick in parc ferme.
“What’s this cute outfit?” Naomi asked with a smile as she knelt down too and read the print on the shirt you hadn’t finished removing. “Big brother?”
“I…I…” Lewis was lost for words as he read the rest and looked your way in shock. “Baby Hamilton?”
A silence spread as the microphone picked up the whisper and echoed it across the entire track. The cameras turned to you and you felt them zooming in on you, capturing the moment that was meant to be full of joy but you felt nothing except betrayal. 
All eyes were on you as you nodded once, closing your eyes to hide the tears that were blurring your vision.
You didn’t hear your husband finish the interview, but you felt the moment he reached you. His presence was something you had always been attuned to and you felt the warmth of his palms before they cradled your cheek, his thumbs brushing away the tears that clung to your lashes.
“Open your eyes for me, beautiful,” he pleaded softly and you took a deep breath before they fluttered open. Pure joy met you on the face of the man who owned your heart, a happiness that came from deep within his soul as he dropped a hand to your abdomen. “We’re having a baby?”
“Can we–can we talk about this after?” you whispered after another sure nod. His brows instantly pulled into a frown but you ignored it as you took his hand and placed it on the rail. “You have a podium to claim, champ.”
He was torn as he ran a hand over this hair that you had spent hours painstakingly braiding for him before leaving Monaco but you eased his unease with a kiss to the corner of his lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too, more than anything.”
“But not more than this sport.” His back stiffened as he turned away but it should have been impossible to hear the truth you uttered beneath your breath. 
You waited as a good wife, a patient wife, should, but you wished you were far away from all things Formula 1. You watched your husband take the centre stage and receive the fruits of his labour, the race trophy and the promise of the coveted WDC trophy at the FIA awards in a week's time. You tried to smile as he placed his palm over his chest before pointing at you, knowing that your initials and date of the wedding were forever marked upon the skin he touched. It was a message he sent for you, one of the many ways he communicated his love over the years. 
Somewhere along the way something had been lost in translation.
You paced the private room nervously while Roscoe snored loudly on the couch in the corner. Lewis should have returned to the motorhome already but he had likely been caught up in the crowds all wanting to congratulate him on his win and his impending fatherhood. A lot of the other teams had already left the paddock and the atmosphere was quickly quietening down outside the door.
The knots in your stomach tied tighter at the knock on the door and when you opened it to see Lewis’ security your palms grew sweaty. “Where’s Lew? Is he alright?”
“He’s alright, ma’am, but there’s quite a bit of activity around him so he thought we should get you back to the hotel first.”
It wasn’t the first time that the crowds had grown too large that he wanted to keep you away. Your safety was always his priority. “Okay, but who's with him?”
“FIA security have him covered.”
You nodded and grabbed Roscoe’s leash, clipping it to his collar as he slowly lifted his head and yawned. If you weren’t already stressed you would have laughed when he dropped his head back on his paws and closed his eyes. “Come on, Rosc, I can’t carry you everywhere. Work with me here.”
He seemed to sense the change in you and began to stretch, shaking his coat out before jumping off the couch and sidling up to your feet for a quick pat. “I think we are ready, Dwayne,” you confirmed as you looked around to make sure you hadn’t missed anything.Dwayne opened the door and stepped into formation with the rest of the team around you, sheltering you out of the building and along the busy paths to where the cars were parked. You had never really felt anxious when surrounded by security but it crept in as you saw just how many people were hanging around the Mercedes building. This was more attention than you were used to, this time it was aimed at you - or more accurately the child of a champion that you carried.
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You had already showered and changed by the time your husband arrived at the five star hotel you would stay at for one more night. You heard the door beep as a key card was scanned before it opened and you untucked your legs from underneath you as he walked in.
Lewis looked drained as he shucked his jacket off and draped it over the coat rack with a heavy sigh. Your eyes followed him around the room to where he grabbed a chilled bottle of water and cracked it open. His steps were slow and unsure as he walked back, coming to a stop behind the couch. You listened to the quiet thud of the empty bottle being placed on the table before a hand rested either side of your body.
“Hi,” he greeted softly.
You tipped your head back into the cushion to look up at him before rolling your head to the side and kissing the wedding band on his hand. “Hi.”
“It’s been quite the day.”
His lips twitched with a smile at the scoff you made before you reached up to him. He dipped his head until your fingertips found his skin and pulled him the rest of the way down to capture his lips.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered across your lips before pulling back and walking around the couch so he could see you properly, but he didn’t sit with you.
After a moment of watching him pace around the rug, you broke the tense silence. “You said you were going to retire.”
His eyes darted to your stomach as he ran his thumb over his lips, back and forth. “And you said you were going to wait.”
You placed your hand over the non-existent bump and sighed. “For what it is worth, I didn’t plan this - it just happened, but I thought the timing was some goddamn miracle. Until today.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“This changes everything, can’t you see that? I had a part time father who missed the big things because he wasn’t there, Lew, and I don’t want that for my child.” You wiped your eyes before you met his so he could see the hurt you felt. “You should have told me.”
“You should have told me.”
You laughed humorlessly and grabbed a pillow, cuddling it close as if it could hide the truth beneath it and pretend everything was okay. “Guess we both hate surprises.”
His pacing stopped dead in his tracks and he shook his head before he dropped to his knees at your feet and took your hand. “I don’t hate this surprise. Whatever else you think about me aside, I love that we are having a baby. You and me, darling. Our baby, like we always planned.”
“But you’ve made plans without me. What happens next year when you’re gone and I’m at home with a newborn? What if you miss her birth?”
“Her?” he asked as he looked up wide eyed.
“It’s too soon to find out,” you answered quietly. “I just have a feeling.”
He slowly pulled the pillow away from you before smiling as he ran the back of his fingers over your stomach. “I feel her too, strong like her mama.”
Something cracked in your chest as you finally felt the joy you were hoping for all afternoon. You saw the love and devotion he already had for his child, it was right there in his dark brown eyes that shimmered in the light of the chandelier.
“I’m sorry,” you choked, placing your hands over his.
“Me too” he rasped as he took the space beside you and pulled you onto his lap. His arms welcomed you home, offering warmth and security in their embrace while he pressed his lips to your forehead. “I’ll talk to Toto, darling, he’ll understand.”
7th December 2025
Lewis had attached himself to your hip and refused to leave your side until his name was called at the end of the awards. The final and most important trophy had been his goal for the past four years, its elusiveness at last coming to an end.
Pride radiated from you and everyone at the Mercedes table as your husband picked up the WDC trophy and kissed the polished metal.
“There’s so many people I have to thank for giving me the opportunity to win eight of these, but we would be here all night. I’ll stick to the main ones then: my beautiful wife, Y/N, who has been my biggest supporter, especially during those hard years, my not-as-beautiful team principal, Toto, for giving me a really fast car, and to all the engineers who built it. Thank you.”
Lewis looked at his reflection in the trophy and beside you Toto sniffled at what was to come. You reached over to squeeze his hand as Lewis cleared the lump in his throat.
“It’s been one hell of a journey getting here and I have met some very special people along the way, but, the most important one is yet to come and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. That is why I have chosen tonight to be the end of my road with Formula 1 but I will cherish the memories I made along the way as I start a new journey - one likely to be even harder to prepare for.”
“He’s going to be a great father,” Toto whispered as he wiped his eyes.
Your smile was beginning to ache from how long it had been on your face. “I know.”
“So,” Lewis hummed as the murmurs grew over the sudden change of heart he had compared to a week ago, “it is my honour to be the one to announce that Bianca Bustamante will be driving in Mercedes for 2026. Congratulations, Bi, you deserve it.”
Lewis held the trophy up for the flash of the photographers before leaving the stage and weaving his way back to your table. Everyone he passed gave him a standing ovation and Toto rose to meet him too, hugging each other tightly and sharing a few words of thanks before he returned to his seat beside you.
“You’re meant to thank your mum and your dad then move on,” you teased, “not make everyone cry.”
Lewis laughed, placing the trophy on table with the floral centrepieces. “Did Toto cry?”
You leaned into your husband’s side as his arm draped over your chair and you giggled with a nod. “Like a baby.”
Lewis looked at his old boss fondly before sending you a wink. “I guess I’ll just have to get used to that.”
2K notes · View notes
miumura · 5 months ago
Text
IN ANOTHER LIFE, YOU’D BE THE ONE.
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assigning enhypen sad tropes / endings
PAIRING enhypen x gn!reader GENRE angst, some fluff? WARNINGS some r not portrayed in a good light (bc of the trope ideas) WORD COUNT varies from 0.3-0.7K+ per
DISCLAIMER these are just random tropes that i think suits them, however, this is not a true depiction of how enhypen truly acts in real life. this is simply just fictional.
‘ 💬 ’ hanniluvi cb? HAHA sorry for disappearing on you guys, but i just finished finals & school is ending soon !!! so yk what that means 😊! slowly making my way back 2 writing 🫡 this was def made randomly and somehow i was committed to it so here you guys go!!
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HEESEUNG — HE FAILED THE SECOND TIME.
i don’t really have an explanation to this, i just think he suits this kind of trope? like he truly loves you to the point where he’s willing to give another shot into the relationship. but when trying again, he realizes the problem but was too late to fix it once more.
You wouldn’t have expected either, but the buzz coming from your phone would be a text message from Heeseung. Shock and adrenaline rushed within your body as he was the first to break the “no contact” rule after your break up.
Without a second thought, you found yourself propped up against your bed frame, texting him instead of sleeping. It was going well, until the text messages started becoming more flirtatious.
Even so, it felt different. It felt like you two were finally ready to try again. When he arrived at your doorstep with flowers and a sign asking, "CAN I BE YOUR BOYFRIEND?", you found no reason to decline.
Texts? He sent you thoughtful good morning and good night messages regularly.
Dates? He always paid attention to your preferences, leading to more spontaneous dates than anticipated.
Gifts? He surprised you with "just because" gifts, often accompanied by adorable notes.
Perhaps it seemed too perfect, but you were too in love to see any warning signs. His initial initiative in reaching out first felt like destiny. However, those blissful three to four months soon dissolved into nothing.
Texts? His responses come much later, and those sweet good morning and good night messages? Few and far between.
Dates? You're the one initiating them, and they lack the genuine spark they once had.
Gifts? It's only you who's putting in the effort, mirroring the gestures he used to make.
You've noticed he's slipping back into old patterns. Heeseung is consumed by his own schedule, neglecting those around him. Attempts to communicate often circle back to his work, leaving no room to discuss your relationship. He's too drained to prioritize you.
Perhaps you shouldn't have expected more or less, considering you already gave him another chance before.
You tried waiting, but with each passing day, you only disappointed yourself further.
So you gradually stopped texting, stopped putting in effort, stopped caring. And what came of it? Nothing.
Nothing until he randomly resurfaced with texts again.
People never change.
This time, without the previous excitement and nerves, you found yourself indifferent to even bother replying. Maybe your silence would speak volumes, considering he's accustomed to the silence he often gives you.
Maybe, you shouldn't have replied in the first place.
JAY — YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE, HE LOVED TOO HARD.
honestly, i see jay as a person who would absolutely do everything and anything for anyone. like this man would have no problem doing anything if it was meant to help anyone he loved. he just gives off the energy / whole idea of “so much love to give, gets not much in return.”
Since you started dating Jay, this guy has been nothing short of perfect to you. He constantly surprises you with flowers, insists on carrying everything for you, and showers you with compliments at every opportunity.
On the surface, it all seemed too good to be true. Despite having what many would consider the "perfect" boyfriend, you found yourself drifting away. Feelings slowly waned, and you began to distance yourself from the person who loved you the most.
Initially, you might not have noticed, but he did. As you began to give him less attention, show less reaction to his gestures, and the love in your eyes faded upon seeing him, he observed it all.
He witnessed you transform into someone unrecognizable. He recognized the signs of change, and perhaps he should have let go then. Yet, there remained a part of him that was reluctant to give up, still holding onto hope and the desire to keep trying.
Despite his earnest efforts to salvage the relationship, he couldn't escape the inevitable "Let’s break up" conversation. He hadn't realized how much his attempts to reignite your love were taking a toll on him until you made the decision to end things.
For months, he had maintained a facade of "everything will be okay," but now, faced with the reality of losing you, he began to crumble. He had invested so much time and energy into becoming a better person for someone he loved, only to realize that he was sacrificing himself in the process.
He couldn't blame you; he never would. He understood that you were falling out of love, and perhaps he should have let go sooner. But he couldn't shake the feelings he still harbored for you, even as they led to nothing but heartache.
Getting over you won't be as simple as he had hoped. He'll likely continue to blame himself, wondering what he could have done differently to be a better boyfriend for you.
But deep down, you know he did nothing wrong. He was a wonderful partner; it's just that you had fallen out of love, and sometimes, that's nobody's fault.
JAKE — RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME.
DUDEEEEE, you can’t tell me jake gives off the vibes of a person you’d always think about. no matter how much you try to forget him, you visually can’t get him out of your head. like you truly like this guy, but because of the time/fate, it lead you guys onto separate paths. this trope sounds cliche, but it’s the best way i can word it.
Jake embodied everything you sought in a partner. From his looks to his humor, and especially his personality, he checked all the boxes. Spending time with him felt like a whirlwind; the hours flew by when it was just the two of you.
Ever since he moved in next door, you found yourself drawn to him, intrigued by his every move. What began as subtle glances evolved into friendly greetings and eventually daily hangouts.
You never knew you could be this over the heels with someone until you met him. You found yourself looking forward to his daily texts and him sending silly videos that reminded him of you. You found yourself making silly trinkets and dropping them off in his mailbox. You found yourself with a pink envelope in your hand, walking to the park to give to him.
And as always, you saw that smile that always managed to brighten up your day. Sitting next to him on the swings, as you expected to be faced with another few hours of random talk with him, you’d be suddenly hit with the news of him having to move.
You didn't want to believe it.
You hoped he was joking, but instead, you were met with a disappointed look on his face. He seemed almost ashamed that this was happening, even though you knew it wasn't his fault.
You could imagine how badly he felt, so you kept your emotions in check and simply told him you would miss him. That night, you went home with tears staining the pink envelope you had intended to give him—a letter of your confession.
You had planned to give it to him that day, but instead, you saved it for his last day.
"Here," you said, pressing your lips into a thin line as you handed him the envelope.
"What is this?" he asked, curiosity piqued.
"A letter—but don't read it now!"
"Why not? You're tempting me," Jake replied, raising an eyebrow as he held the envelope with care.
"Well, don't listen to your temptations because—hey!" Before you could finish, he had already opened it, revealing its contents.
"This is embarrassing," you mumbled into your hands, feeling the heat rise to your face. Peeking through your fingers, you saw his eyes getting watery as he chuckled at parts of your letter.
When he finished reading, Jake looked at you and extended his arms. You immediately fell into his embrace, feeling his warmth surround you. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he whispered into your ear, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" your voice cracked, fearing that your confession would lead to nothing.
"I'm sorry this had to be this way," he said, clearing his throat and fighting back tears stirred by your emotional letter. "If it wasn't obvious enough, I like you too."
You felt a mix of relief and sadness. Despite your mutual feelings, fate was pulling you in different directions.
Before you could say another word, his family was already calling him to leave. Jake gave you one last squeeze and a look filled with fondness.
"I'll try to contact you often, okay, YN?"
"Okay," you replied.
As he waved goodbye with red eyes and that beautiful smile you loved, you saw him for the last time in person, feeling the weight of the moment settle in your heart.
SUNGHOON — JUST “FAKE DATING”.
do you see the vision that i’m visioning. like i don’t know, it just works out?? like i can see you two starting to fake date, it leads to something more (at least that’s what you think), and that all disappears, repeating once more. like it seems like he means it, but at the same time, his actions seem to prove otherwise. it’s like a constant cycle that you don’t want to or know how to get out of.
"I'm telling you, I don't think you should be doing this," your friend insisted, both online and in person. "Hanging with Sunghoon is only going to hurt you."
You never anticipated how your own choices might backfire. As a good friend, you just wanted to help Park Sunghoon make someone jealous. After all, with his pleading tone, how could you possibly say no?
If only you just believe his rule, "Don't fall in love with each other," this should be easy. You just needed to play the role—that’s all you had to do.
So, it started off slowly.
You two were together all the time, which was normal for you both. But whenever his ex came around, you could feel him inching closer, invading your personal space. It wasn’t much, but it felt rather intimate...though that was the plan.
Then it escalated. Sunghoon didn’t just act like a boyfriend in person and at school; he began behaving the same way outside of school and over text.
You spent more time together, going to places, laughing as you took pictures. He started showing up at your house unannounced, and the two of you would stay up late, binge-watching your favorite shows and having those nightly talks.
He even introduced you to his friends. Would someone go to such lengths for a fake relationship?
It just didn’t feel like pretending. You felt something there, something that couldn’t be easily explained.
You tried to brush it aside, but your feelings for him only grew. You were definitely falling for his stupid, swooning charms.
You hoped he was falling for you too.
But that sliver of hope crashed down when you saw him with the very person he had wanted to chase after.
They were smiling and holding hands. He looked so...happy.
After he gave them a final hug, he turned and met your gaze, your eyes slightly glistening.
"Thank you, YN," he said, with that stupid grin on his face—the one you had fallen for. Seeing it now only made your stomach twist painfully.
“Thank you? That’s….that’s it?”
“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon gave you a confused look. “Did you expect something more?”
“I would’ve loved an explanation.”
“What?”
You pressed your lips together, but your emotions were overflowing.
“Why would you treat me like that? I mean, why would you treat me so nicely? Why would you try so hard that it made me feel like we could’ve had something…real?”
“YN…”
"Just why, Sunghoon? If you knew this was only going to be a fake relationship, why did you create something special only for it to be discarded?"
"I'm sorry, YN. I never intended my gestures to be misleading, so I never purposefully planned that. I did enjoy our time together, but I have to end whatever we had because I now have the person I will always want."
Right.
No matter how hard you try, you can't change Sunghoon's mind.
You aren’t the person he wants.
After all, that was the whole point of his plan.
Don’t fall in love with each other.
SUNOO — YOU TWO DRIFTED APART.
i feel like with sunoo, since he has such an outgoing and bubbly demeanor, it allows him to easily connect with others. so with that idea in mind, why not because of his personality and him constantly being involved in new crowds, it causes him to have no time for you. without realizing it at first, he soon forgets about his priority: you.
You can't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions: confused, overwhelmed, sad.
Sunoo is a great guy, and you know that. But his bubbly personality seems to be interfering with your relationship.
At first, you were completely fine with it. He helped you meet new people, pushed you out of your comfort zone, and, most importantly, you saw him extremely happy. That’s all you really wanted.
But lately, you've noticed that he’s been paying less attention to you. Even when it's just the two of you, he often ends up calling someone or suddenly engaging in conversations with people around you.
You always had to make the plans, and his reactions seemed less genuine compared to when he was with others. Would it be wrong to think that you don’t matter to him anymore?
You always had to initiate conversations. Always.
Just like every other day, you were on the phone with Sunoo, the silence filling the room. No one was talking, and you could probably assume he was messaging someone else while on the phone with you.
Clearing your throat, you finally spoke. “Sunoo?” You didn’t know why you were nervous; he was your boyfriend, after all.
“Yes?”
“Um…” Your throat felt like it was closing up on you. You never wanted to seem pushy or insecure because of his behavior—you just wanted to feel special again, like you did at the beginning of the relationship. It should be easy to tell someone like him, right?
“Just tell me, YN.”
“Listen…” You hesitated before continuing. “Do you even… love me anymore?”
“Seriously? What kind of question is that? Of course I love you. Do I not show you that?”
“Well… no.” You bit your lip, hoping to get the closure you needed.
“I didn’t know you felt that way. I hope you know that you’re my—oh, YN. I’m sorry, I really have to go. I promised to hang out with Jungwon today. I’ll call you back, okay? Love you.”
You heard the other line beep, leaving you feeling empty. Removing the phone from your ear and dropping it in your lap, you looked at the calendar next to you. Today's date had a large red circle with little hearts doodled around the event “OUR ANNIVERSARY.”
He was hanging out with Jungwon instead of you. He forgot it. You stared at the hearts, feeling a knot form in your stomach. This day had meant so much to you, and now it felt like just another ordinary, lonely day.
His "I love you"s always reassured you—but now? They did nothing but make you feel worse.
He really doesn’t realize how much he’s hurting you, does he?
JUNGWON — THE CLASSIC SECOND LEAD.
okay okay, hear me out. i feel like jungwon suits the idea of a person liking someone, but too afraid to actually make a move. like he would want to keep people he like closely, but he would never do anything that seemed like it would lead to a fallout or anything more. so because of this, it leads to him watching you love someone else on the sidelines.
Jungwon has always been a nervous guy, and being in love only amplified his anxiety.
After spending so much time getting to know you, he realized he was falling—deeply. And he hated how it made him feel.
He hated how he would stutter when trying to make eye contact with you.
He hated how he took extra time to fix his hair.
He hated how he felt like a nervous wreck every time he initiated a hangout outside of school and work, praying you’d have the time.
But all those things he hated would soon fade away when he was with you. He began to appreciate himself for making the effort—it felt worth it.
Any moment with you felt special to him—enough for him to lay in bed and think about it all night.
He loved how you made him feel seen and understood, something he had not felt with anyone else.
If he were to date someone, he would want it to be you.
"Isn't he so dreamy?"
Hearing those words crushed his hopes of ever making you his.
He found himself sitting across from you, listening to you talk about this new guy, feeling a knot form in his stomach.
"Are you listening, Won?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. What happened again?" He nervously chuckled, clearly not wanting to hear what was going to come out of your mouth.
"We're going on a date tomorrow!"
His heart was about to burst.
Deep down, he wished he could tell you how he truly felt, how much he cared about you, but it seemed like there would be no point.
Every word felt like a stab, yet he forced a smile. "I am so happy for you, YN."
And there was that smile—the very smile he hoped to see whenever you talked about him. But instead, that beautiful smile was for somebody else.
As you continued excitedly talking about your upcoming date, Jungwon couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, knowing that he would always be just a friend, never the one you longed for.
Jungwon found another thing he hates about being in love.
He hates how loving someone can ultimately hurt you too.
NIKI — “TOO HARD TO LOVE”.
i can somehow see niki being apart of a trope where there is a lack of communication. like i think it would be hard to express himself properly, leading him to become closed off. like he would do tests to see how much you actually cared for him, leading to his own unsatisfaction. and yet, he still wouldn’t communicate it properly, leading to the downfall of your relationship with him.
"It doesn't seem like you care," Niki let slip out over the phone, his words not quite what he had intended to say to you.
"What do you mean?" you responded, clearly frustrated. "How can you say I don't care?"
"You haven't reached out to me."
"And what about you?"
"What?" Niki was taken aback by your abruptness.
"You never tell me anything. How am I supposed to know that you even want to be around me when all you've done is just push me away?"
The silence hung heavy between you, the weight of unspoken emotions palpable even through the phone line. Niki's mind raced, grappling with the sudden confrontation. He hadn't anticipated this turn in their conversation, nor had he realized the extent of his own actions until now.
Niki had never experienced this level of comfort and connection with anyone before.
He hadn't anticipated falling in love again—until he met you.
You possessed all the qualities he had been searching for, and being with you felt incredibly natural. So, it came as a surprise when he found himself in a relationship with you; it all seemed almost too perfect to be true.
Without even realizing, Niki was starting to become rather distant. He never intended to, but he was afraid of becoming a burden to you. The thought of investing so much time and energy into someone who might eventually leave scared him.
"I... I didn't realize," Niki stammered, his voice betraying a mix of confusion and guilt. "I didn't mean to push you away. I just... I've been dealing with some stuff lately, and I guess I haven't been handling it well."
"Then you could've told me, but you didn't. You only talked to me because I was always the one reaching out first," you finally said, your voice heavy with hurt. "So why?"
Niki felt a lump form in his throat, the weight of your words sinking in. He struggled to find the right words, the right explanation, but nothing seemed adequate.
"I don't know," he admitted softly. "Maybe I was scared."
"Scared of what?" you pressed gently.
"Just... just forget it," Niki muttered, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m sorry.”
"Niki, I need to know that you're willing to put in the effort, to be open with me. This relationship can't work if it's one-sided."
"I just don't want to lose you," he confessed, his voice breaking slightly.
"I don't know if I can believe that."
"What?" Niki's voice was filled with surprise and hurt.
"I can't tell if you're honest with me. You've done this more than once, Niki."
"But it's true!" His voice raised higher, clearly panicked by how the situation had escalated.
"You say that, but actions speak louder than words," you replied, trying to stay calm despite the turmoil inside. "If you really don't want to lose me, you need to show it, not just say it."
Niki should've taken that as a sign to finally show what he'd been holding back. He should've explained why he had such a hard time expressing his feelings, and proved to you that you were someone he truly wanted.
But he didn't. He found himself holding back once again, repeating the very behavior you truly hated.
"Okay," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"That's... that's it?" You scoffed in disbelief. "Really?"
Niki felt a surge of panic and regret. He knew he was failing you again, but the words just wouldn't come. "I don't know what else to say," he admitted, feeling helpless.
"You could start by being honest," you replied, frustration evident. "Why is it so hard for you to open up? Why do you keep pushing me away?"
Niki hesitated, the fear of vulnerability clawing at him. "It's not that simple," he said finally. "I've never been good at this. I've always been afraid of getting too close, of being hurt again. But that's no excuse. I know I need to change."
"Then show me," you insisted. "Show me that you mean it. I need to see that you care enough to try."
Your silence was heavy, filled with both skepticism and a flicker of hope. "Call me when you're finally ready for this. I think we both need a break to think things over clearly, okay?"
Niki should have seen this coming. But instead of running away from the problem like he used to, he accepted it. "Okay."
You hung up the phone, leaving Niki alone with his thoughts. Determined, he knew he had to win you back and prove he could be different, better than he had been throughout the entire relationship.
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💬 : if it doesn’t seem obvious enough, i’m trying to get back into writing longer fics 🤫
ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz
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runnning-outof-time · 1 month ago
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The Special Touch | Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader
Summary: A small, small detail brings back memories of a person in Tommy Shelby’s life that was able to do something not many can.
Warnings: language, drinking
Word Count: 3102
A/N: the structure of this one’s a little wonky, but I think it reads cohesively…I hope it comes off that way for you. Enjoy! :)
A/N 2: the italicized dialogue in the story is taken directly from season 1 of the show.
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
comment/message me if you want to be tagged!
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(Y/N)'s food was the only thing Tommy Shelby actually ate.
Sure, he still didn't willingly sit himself at the table when it came time for a meal, but (Y/N)'s cooking coaxed him in more often than it didn't.
What started as a woman trying to impress the family of a man she dearly liked - that form of impressing coming through a lovely, homemade apple pie - quickly blossomed into (Y/N) being the Shelby family cook. Polly was probably the happiest about this - she no longer had to tackle the family meals alone.
Tommy was also happy about this - being that he quickly made sure that she was his - because it meant that he was able to spend much more time with her. Hell, he'd even happily endure the enhanced teasing from his family...Tommy hadn't spent this much time at home since he was a child. But (Y/N), and her cooking, had him coming home more often than anything else.
And he enjoyed it.
On this particular evening, she had decided to make some plum bread to bring to the Shelby family. It was one of her favorite recipes, one that she only brought out every once in a while.
Tonight would be a special night for it, she thought. She and Tommy had been officially together for eight months, but it was on this night one year ago that they shared their feelings with each other and decided that they’d commit themselves to one another.
She worked all day to make the bread not only for this occasion, but also because she wanted to see if his family liked it as much as hers did.
It was late afternoon when she made her way over to the house on Watery Lane. She hoped that everyone was home because with each step her eagerness was building - she wanted as many people as possible to try the bread she’d baked.
She could hear the inhabitants of the house before she saw them as she entered through the front door.
She heard Tommy speak in a low voice, “you’re alright,” as the sound of pain-filled hisses filled the room.
Then came a statement that made (Y/N) stop: “he said Mr. Churchill sent him to Birmingham. National interest, he said…something about a robbery.” It was Arthur who was speaking. “He said he wants us to help him.”
“We don’t help coppers,” she heard John chime in.
“He knew all about our war records,” Arthur continued, “he said we’re patriots…like him. He wants us to be his eyes and ears. I said—” another pain-filled hiss left the eldest siblings lips, and it was followed by a soft ‘shh’. He continued once the pain had been assuaged, “I said we’d have a family meeting and take a vote,” he finished his statement.
A pause filled the room. (Y/N), who’d been standing still and listening in since she entered the dwelling, couldn’t stand in the same position any longer. Despite her efforts not to, her weight shifted, making the floorboard creak underneath her foot.
Tommy looked up from the ground upon hearing the sound, and his intense gaze connected with her worried one instantly. “We’ll discuss this later,” he then addressed his family in a low tone.
“What the fuck is wrong with him lately?” Arthur asked, annoyance laced into his tone.
“If I knew, I’d buy the cure from Compton’s chemists,” Polly chimed in, her tone matching Arthur’s.
Tommy’s eyes were still locked on (Y/N), who now felt like she had to make her presence known. She took a few steps forward into the room before speaking, “I’m sorry I…I didn’t know what I was arriving to,” she hesitantly said, feeling several pairs of eyes now locked onto her. She tried to withhold her expression, but surely there was a look of pain present on her face as she took in Arthur’s bloodied one. “Goodness,” she gasped, the tension quickly becoming too much for her to bear, “I…I wanted to bring something over for the evening. I baked plum bread from scratch,” she said, holding the enclosed tray out in front of her.
“Well isn’t that just bloody perfect,” Arthur muttered under his breath.
Silence hung in the room and (Y/N) wasn’t quite sure what to do. It seemed like every person in the family was glaring daggers at Tommy, and Tommy was just standing, brooding in front of the free-standing stove.
“I can just…I can leave and come back at a better…”
“No!” John interrupted her, pushing himself off of the wall he’d been leaning against, “you’re here now, so let’s try some of this bread.”
“Ok,” there was still a great deal of hesitance present in (Y/N)’s voice, but she still allowed John to take the tray from her hands when he motioned for it. She then glanced in Tommy’s direction, seeing that he was still glaring at the floor. Above everything else, she really wanted to speak to him. The conversation she walked in on was still in the forefront of her mind. She wasn’t sure how to make the first move though.
“Oh, (Y/N), this is grand!” John’s review of the bread cut through her thoughts, making her focus on the small group that was now trying it. Ada nodded her head in agreement with her brother as Polly quietly ate her piece. She didn’t look displeased with it though. Arthur was still staring at the piece that had been placed in front of him. (Y/N) figured he wouldn’t eat it that moment though, given the state he was currently in. A small smile creeped onto her face as she watched them enjoy the thing she’d spent so long baking.
“Tommy you’ve got to try it! It’s absolutely amazing, as always,” Ada said to her older brother, hoping that her shining review would coax him into having a bite.
“I’ll have some later,” he brushed her statement off, his eyes finding (Y/N) again. “(Y/N), can I talk to you?” he asked her then, his brows raising slightly.
“Yes,” she answered softly, knowing there really wasn’t any other response she could give.
He nodded before tipping his head in the direction of the betting shop doors. She nodded in agreement, wordlessly following behind him as they went into that section of the building.
The walk felt so long, even though they were really only moving to the next room over. (Y/N) bit on her cheek as she tried to think of what to say. She knew she wanted to be the first to speak. “What did I walk in on back there?” was what she settled on asking as they both came to a stop.
“It was nothing,” Tommy brushed the question off.
“It didn’t seem like nothing,” she doubled down, not buying his diversion. “Who has Mr. Churchill sent?”
“It’s not a big deal,” he tried another escape route.
“You’re helping the cops now?” she asked another question.
“(Y/N)…” his tone held a warning.
“Why does Arthur look like that?” her exasperation finally shined through this question as she motioned to the room they’d just left.
Tommy exhaled a sigh as he looked away from his partner. It was already enough that his entire family was coming down on him…he didn’t need it from her as well. “This isn’t something you need to worry about, (Y/N),” he told her once he composed himself.
“You said you wouldn’t hold anything from me, Tommy,” she reminded him of a promise that he made to her in their early months. A promise that came as a result of him showing up to her family’s house broken and bloodied…over something he couldn’t share.
Her parents hated him from that day forward, but she found a way to continue to see him. He assured her that would be the last time nothing was withheld…until now it seems.
“This is different,” he shook his head.
“Different how?” she asked for him to elaborate.
“Different in the sense that if it all goes according to plan, we move up in the world,” his elaboration was still vague.
“That doesn’t tell me much,” she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well it’s all I can share,” his tone was now dismissive as he lifted his hand, his palm to the ceiling.
(Y/N) stared at him for a few moments, silently hoping that he’d take that statement back and clue her in to what was going on. She had to bite on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering after those moments had passed and nothing more was said.
“Well I think I need to leave then,” she finally said, her voice just above a whisper.
Tommy’s brows furrowed at her statement, “what?”
“You promised that you wouldn’t keep anything from me, that there’d be no secrets in regards to what sort of business you’re doing,” she reminded him, “we agreed that that would be the only way we could work.”
“I said that this was different, (Y/N),” he argued his cause, “there has to be an exception for it.”
“I can’t make an exception, Tommy,” she shook her head, her tone slightly wavering, “because if I make one now, you’ll have me making another down the road.”
“(Y/N), I don’t need this…”
“Do you know what day it is, Tommy?” she cut him off, her eyebrows raised. He said nothing. “Huh?” she asked for a response. Silence was all she got. “You don’t…” she sighed in defeat, shaking her head as she looked to the floor. “It’s been a year…one whole year since we shared our feelings for each other. One whole year since I thought I found the person who I was going to be with for the rest of my life. But now I don’t know anymore…”
“(Y/N)…” he tried to get out but she wasn’t hearing it.
“This is your last chance,” she gave him the ultimatum, “tell me or I leave.”
The tension between the two was practically palpable. (Y/N) waited on bated breath for him to share what he’d been hiding from her. Tommy weighed his options in his mind - no one knew that he still had the guns in his possession. He was hoping that the last person who knew was (Y/N). But now since she stumbled in on that conversation, she wanted to know more. He’d remembered the promise he made those several months ago. And while the last thing he wanted to do was break it, he just couldn’t bring himself to reveal the secret he was withholding from the entire family. If she knew, everyone would know, was his thinking.
“I’m leaving,” she made her decision, cutting into his thoughts and making him realize that he hadn’t said anything.
She took one last look at him, honestly still hoping that he’d make some grand gesture and save everything, but he just stood there, a look of disbelief clear across his face. She had to follow through with her decision. With a deep breath, she walked past him and exited the building through the betting shop door. Turning and walking back past the family would have been too much for her. She needed to get away with the least amount of Shelbys seeing her.
Tommy blinked a few times after the door to the shop closed. He was frozen in disbelief. So much had happened in the span of a short time. And now (Y/N) was gone.
He remembered the bottle of rum that he’d brought for Arthur’s wounds. It wasn’t whiskey, but the last thing he wanted to do was go out now, so the rum would do.
Polly, John and Arthur were still sitting in the kitchen when he re-entered it. He didn’t make eye contact with any of them, instead making a b-line for the bottle of alcohol and bringing it to his lips the second he had it in his hands.
“Where’s (Y/N)?” Arthur questioned, looking less bloody now than he had before.
“She left,” Tommy answered before taking another drink from the bottle.
“Shame…this bread’s fucking amazing,” John shared his praises for the woman’s baking skills. “You should try some,” he insisted.
“I don’t want any,” Tommy shook his head.
“Try some!” Arthur shouted, motioning to the small portion of the bread that was left, “before we eat it all on ya.”
“Fine,” Tommy huffed under his breath, moving over to where the baked good was sitting. He took the knife and cut himself the smallest slice, putting it right into his mouth and eating it without giving any clue as to what he thought of it. He then walked out of the room, exiting the home the opposite way (Y/N) had.
The three remaining people in the room all watched him leave, wondering what exactly was making him even more vexed than usual.
“More for us,” John shrugged, his carefree comment clearing the tension as he moved over to cut himself another slice of the bread.
Tommy returned to the house on Watery Lane later that evening and let out a sigh of relief when he found what he was looking for.
There was still a small piece of the plum bread (Y/N) had brought over left of the table. He sighed as he sat down on one of the chairs before reaching out to take the leftover piece.
Another sigh left his lips as he ate the bread. He couldn’t get (Y/N) out of his mind since she left him earlier, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fighting with himself over what he should do now.
As much as he wanted her in his life, he had to honor her wishes. And even if she posed the earlier question to him again, he wasn’t sure if he’d give a different response. What was happening now was different…he had to keep his cards close to his chest. She should have understood that, right?
He couldn’t deny that he missed her though. The fact that he actually came back to have a second piece of the bread she made for them had him realizing that there would be many reasons why he’d be missing her.
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“I have something for you,” the barmaid, Grace, announced as she entered the snug, where the three oldest Shelby brothers had been holed up for the majority of the day. She’d been working at the Garrison for several months now, and she’d quickly found her place within the establishment.
“What is it?” Arthur asked as he brought his glass up to his lips, his eyebrows raised in intrigue.
“Plum bread. I made it…figured you’d need something after all of the meetings that have been happening,” she answered, explaining the reason behind the gesture.
John and Arthur exchanged a look upon hearing what she’d brought. They hadn’t had plum bread since (Y/N) left it for them. Hesitantly, they looked over at Tommy. His expression wasn’t readable.
“Leave it on the table and then you’re good to go, Grace,” Tommy spoke up to instruct her. He felt his brothers’ eyes on him, and knew that they’d be watching closely to see what he’d do next.
“Ok,” she nodded, carefully setting the serving dish and accompanying plates on the table before she turned and exited the snug.
The three men looked at the bread for a few moments. John and Arthur both didn’t want to be the first to make a move, and they most certainly knew that Tommy wasn’t going to.
It was kind of Grace to bake for them, and they no doubt took it as one of her attempts to break the ice between her and the Shelby family. She’d been chipping away at it since she arrived months ago.
But the elephant in the room was looming large now, and it had made itself known via the choice of baked good that the aforementioned blonde woman had brought.
“Shall we try it then?” Arthur was the first to finally speak up. He took his eyes off the dish for a moment to look at his brothers.
“Might as well,” John shrugged as he replied.
Now they both were looking at Tommy. It became apparent that they weren’t going to make a move until he signed off on it. “Go on,” he finally instructed them, motioning to the bread with his chin.
That was all the two men needed. Arthur took on the job of cutting the bread while John divvied out the plates. They even cut a piece for Tommy, who didn’t seem like he was too keen on eating it.
What they did not need was an invitation to eat the bread. More silence filled the room as they did so. It took a few bites from both of them before they were sharing a look with each other. Something had been silently agreed upon between them, and now they were deciding whether they should share their thoughts with Tommy.
“How is it?” Tommy broke into their nonverbal conversation, knowing the looks they were sharing all too well.
“It’s…” Arthur started, finishing his statement off with a breath instead of continuing before he looked to John for assistance. Between the two of them, he knew the latter was a more colorful commentator.
“It’s not like hers,” John filled in the blank, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at the remaining piece of bread on his plate.
The name didn’t even need to be said. Tommy knew who they were taking about. He exhaled a breath before nodding his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the piece sitting in front of him.
“She ain’t got that special touch like (Y/N) did,” Arthur then added his thoughts, addressing the elephant in the room by name.
Tommy’s look was once again unreadable. Glimpses of the woman he’d lost were swirling around his mind, and they wouldn’t leave no matter how hard he tried. Sometimes he wished he would have done things differently. He wished she was still in his life.
What’s done is done was always what came to mind when he got to thinking like that. But even though that phrase came to mind, he still wasn’t going to try the bread, for his remembrance of how she made it was one of the only good things he had left.
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MASTERLIST
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Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21
@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings
@just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry
@captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @mischievouslittlecreature
@stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder
@cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername
@depxiety @justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @mrs-bond @cljordan-imperium
@brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife
@shaddixlife @ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo @novashelby
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neptuneiris · 10 months ago
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Behind the Scenes (05/05)
Behind the Success
pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader
summary: you and Aenar finally meet Aemond's family, closing one chapter of your life and starting a new one with Aemond in it.
word counter: 8.7k
previous part • next part • series masterlist
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it's here!🥳
I've finally finished the chapter and I'm so excited for you guys to read this!
and how is it possible that another story is going to end soon? because if you didn't read my previous message, there will be an epilogue, so it's not yet the definitive goodbye for this little family we have created🤭
also before reading I want to thank you for your support and please leave me your opinion, lately the comments have gone down and I wish to read you🙏🏻
oh I also want to make a small clarification before you reed:
in the second chapter it is mentioned how aemond at the end confessed everything to his family in a desperate attempt to find Y/N. but let's forget that hehe🤭 let's pretend that aemond never told them so you can enjoy this chapter and the light drama you are about to read.
now read and enjoy, ily all!
warnings: slight angst, aemond's family melting our hearts when they meet aenar.
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Aemond immerses himself in the world of acting with the same fierce dedication with which he confronts his characters on screen. Every move, every word, everything is carefully rehearsed and executed.
Each project is a challenge, an opportunity to explore new roles and demonstrate his versatility as an actor.
The hustle and bustle of the film set fills the air as he immerses himself in his role. The bright lights illuminate his face, conveying the intensity of his character as he delivers his lines with palpable emotion.
But when the bell rings, as well as the director's shout of "cut!" is heard, Aemond is Aemond again.
Behind all those shots, scenes, interviews and awards, no one knows that Aemond is a father, at least no one outside his close circle. He only confided the news to a few close co-workers, some production people and his older sister, Rhaenyra.
He managed to persuade some rumors after some people at first saw him entertaining Aenar in the nursery on the set, because even though there is nothing wrong with it and Aenar is his most precious treasure and a pride of his life, he knows it is better to protect him from the public eye.
And now that Aenar has his own nanny at home, sometimes even then the whispers would start to get too much and he would make sure that some member of the production crew, known for their ability to spread harmless gossip, would plant the idea that it was simply a close family friend of the child they had seen him with.
And in the midst of all his work and everything he has to do, Aemond finds the precious time to be with his son.
Aenar, a whirlwind of laughter and childlike energy, fills every space where the two are together with light. Games, stories and hugs become routine and Aemond cherishes every moment he can spend with him on his days off.
He even reduces his own working hours and focuses entirely on filming his scenes, also attending one or two interviews per month, in order to have more quality time with Aenar, who is more important than having to please the press at every moment.
And as he balances the intensity of the job with his responsibility as a father, Aemond fights for to rebuild the trust you once placed in him.
Every gesture, every conversation, was an effort to demonstrate that he is fully committed to getting things right this time. Every encounter with you, he demonstrates a quiet determination to making amends for past mistakes.
With carefully chosen words and acts of genuine support, he tries to show you that he understands the pain he had caused and is willing to go out of his way to regain your trust.
And you accept this, because you see how he makes an effort to open up more, to share his thoughts, his fears and his hopes. But above all, you see how he is making an effort with Aenar, which is the most important thing.
And you also see how parental responsibility has changed his perspective and maturity. But still, Aemond knows that rebuilding trust takes time and forgiveness is not something that can or should be rushed.
Even if you decide never to forgive him, he's okay with that and is getting the idea from now on that you only allow him to be close to you because of Aenar and only because of Aenar.
So in the meantime, you immerse yourself in your own workday.
The makeup and wardrobe trailer is a world of constant motion and productivity in any given area, though your mind is always on Aenar and also on Aemond.
And even though you both carry separate jobs at the same place during the day, you both manage to create a balance between your jobs and raising Aenar.
Evenings were for you and Aenar if Aemond didn't finish recording at the same time as your shift ends. And almost at dusk is when Aemond comes from work and devotes every minute of his free afternoon to Aenar.
Instead if you both finished your shifts at the same time, you both spent time together with Aenar.
However, the nights brought calm.
Once Aenar fell asleep and before Aemond retired, you and he find your own space to talk, share thoughts, talk about work or more importantly about Aenar. And today just happens to be one of those nights.
You finish cleaning the kitchen, while Aemond is sitting on one of the stools, with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking out the large windows to the back garden, thoughtful.
While he has in front of him the IPad with the image of the camera in Aenar's crib that records him sleeping, attentive and making sure he is well.
"I've been thinking a lot lately," he says, breaking the silence in a soft voice, catching your attention.
You watch him from the sink, setting a clean, dry dish in the drainer, then drying your hands with a clean cloth.
"About what?" you ask him softly, attentively.
And he takes a moment before answering, thinking very carefully about his words and what he means, not wanting you to misunderstand him in any way.
"On Aenar and... us."
He confesses and you lean on the other side of the island that separates you both in front of him, giving him your full attention.
"At first..." he starts to say, slightly flustered, "You didn't want me to hide him from the world and I-I... well, I obviously disagreed with you."
He says and bites the inside of his cheek, lowering his gaze, feeling embarrassed.
"But now... I think it's not fair to him that no one has any idea that I have a son. It's also not fair for anyone to know that you're the mother of my child."
His gaze again meets yours and a sense of understanding envelops both him and you.
"Now things have changed," Aemond continues, his tone laden with sincerity, "And I know that you and I are n-not together but... maybe... I can announce the news, only if you want me to."
Silence fills the kitchen in its entirety for a moment, as Aemond holds his breath at your possible response, honestly feeling terrified to expect a bad reaction from you.
But none of that crosses your mind, on the contrary, you just digest his words. But your silence is what causes a mixture of expectation and anxiety in Aemond, who holds his gaze with yours, nervous.
And finally, with a serene sigh, you go around the island that separates the two of you and approach him, placing one of your hands on his shoulder gently and in an attempt to comfort and reassure him, instantly feeling his whole figure tense, while he watches you with his big healthy wide eye and his prosthetic eye remains the same as always.
"Aemond," you begin to say in a soft voice as he watches you completely attentively, "I always wanted you to recognize Aenar publicly, that was what I wanted most at first. But now...
You pause for a moment, thinking about your meditated words, as you sink for a second into your own thoughts and what you really want to say, as Aemond watches you intently, waiting for you to continue.
"I understand your world more now," you continue, "And, honestly, I can't blame you for not agreeing with me back then, only in this," you make clear, "Recognize him legally would have been the right thing to do and... enough," you say holding back the sadness in your tone of voice.
But Aemond catches that break in your voice, a moment of your vulnerability that makes him feel a sharp, simmering ache in his chest, as if every word you utter drops a weight on his shoulders, with shame again invading him, but this time with a mixture of deep remorse and regret.
A barely audible sigh escapes his lips, lowering his gaze, ashamed, feeling the burden of his past choices and he wonders amidst the brief silence if he will ever be able to fully redeem with himself.
But he doesn't have much time to think about it, as you gently squeeze his shoulder to bring his attention back to you.
"And now I understand that the press and people's opinions can be very dangerous and destructive," you say softly, "And I don't want that for Aenar, at least I don't want to deal with that yet," you confess, "I want him to grow up a little more and we can both enjoy his early years without having to worry about it."
An expression of surprise and also longing crosses Aemond's face, still watching you intently, processing your words.
"Are you sure?"
You place a soft smile on your lips.
"Very," you assure, "I just want him to grow up in a calm and safe place, without falling fame on him nor all this attention being so young," you explain, "I have no problem with it, but also your opinion counts."
"No, I-I... I want the same for him too," he agrees with you, nodding, with all the pressure and anxiety he felt being replaced by a mixture of gratitude and relief.
And you nod back at him, smiling softly in his direction.
"But..." he says with a slight urgency in his gaze and concern in his tone, "I just want you to know that when the time comes, I won't do it for attention or to be relevant."
He says seriously, softly and honestly.
""I'll do it because I know it's something I have to do, for him and for you, as in the beginning maybe it should have been. But for now I just want us to enjoy these moments and, when the time is right, make that decision together."
The room fills with the honesty of his words and you can feel the sincerity in each of them, as a sense of calm envelops you both and you share a soft, complicit smile.
"Sure," you nod to him, feeling a warmth wrap itself all over your chest.
Your gaze moves away from his for a moment, focusing on the iPad screen where Aenar is shown sleeping, while Aemond can't help but focus on the features of your face with an intensity that can't go unnoticed by you.
Deep longing is reflected in his gaze, with a palpable mix of regret and sadness that is projected beyond mere facial expression. And he feel that weight on his body and chest again, a burden he can't help but feel.
His healthy eye glides over your face as if searching for answers in every line of expression and in his gaze, you can perceive the longing to repair the irremediable, the need to know how much he regrets the decisions of the past.
"Y/N-
He starts to want to say, his voice laden with regret, but you turn your gaze to him and stop him.
"Aemond, we have already talked about this."
"But I'm sorry... I really am," he insists, with pain in his gaze, "And I know an apology isn't going to fix it, I know that, neither is anything else but... I am really sorry and you don't know how much I hate myself for everything I put you through."
"No," you shake your head, "There's no need for you to keep apologizing," you tell him softly, "It won't do either of us any good to keep bringing up the mistakes of the past. Nor will it serve you to keep punishing yourself for what has already happened," you say as tactfully as you can.
His expression reflects a mixture of gratitude and frustration with yourself.
"Yes, I know, I understand," he murmurs, lowering his gaze, "It's just... I feel like I have to say it."
"Aemond, what matters now is this, how we move forward from here now that we've both learned and grown. Aenar too," you add, "And that's all that matters."
He nods slowly in your direction, his gaze showing a mixture of appreciation and relief, even with the remorse within him, as you both then sink into a moment of silence, letting the unspoken words echo in the air, but you both know those words, they just don't need to be said.
The relationship dynamic between you and Aemond since then takes a new path, a less tense, more bearable path of total trust. And this is not lost when the two of you are together in Aenar's presence.
Until one day, on your day off precisely, Aemond after work, comes to you telling you some unexpected news.
"I told them."
You turn fully towards him, giving him your full attention, understanding but at the same time not what he really means.
The living room starts to feel tense, while Aenar completely oblivious to it continues to play on the floor with his toys, but you focus on his gaze, where there is a charge of confession in his eye and you notice his whole body in a position of determination but also nervousness.
"Come, sit down," you tell him in a soft voice, pointing to the couch, while at the same time getting up from the floor to take a seat next to him.
And he almost with a defeated expression and posture, does as you say, letting out a sigh.
"What happened?" you ask, watching him intently.
He inhales deeply, looking at Aenar on the floor, who is the only one who can make him feel a little calmer, as well as your presence next to him.
"I told them about everything that happened," he confesses to you, "Our relationship, your pregnancy, my team, the decision I made in the beginning, everything I caused and how much I hurt you," he says as he feels his heart knot, "Everything. Everything that happened from then until now... and Aenar."
His words leave a weight in the air, as you anticipate how bad and difficult that conversation must have gone with his family to see him this way, so serious and tense.
"And how did they react?"
Aemond closes his eye, lowering his gaze, his posture reflecting the emotional baggage he carries with him and how bad it definitely went with it.
"Just as I expected. Obviously they were disappointed in me."
He says without much emotion, but with slight pain in his tone
"My grandfather couldn't believe it and was shouting how come I kept all that from them. Hel was very shocked, Aegon and Daeron too. And mother said a few hurtful things, started crying and telling me how I could keep these things from her," he exhales deeply, "Rhaenyra and Daemon were the ones who helped me calm things down a bit, but still my grandfather and mother were upset with her for knowing and not saying anything."
The tension of what happened feels palpable, as if he is reliving his family's every reaction, with the heaviness of disappointment and pain reflected in his expression, as you beside hom, share the weight of that difficult moment.
You are both silent for a moment, only hearing the sounds of Aenar playing with his toys.
"I'm sorry," you whisper in his direction, placing your hand on top of his, as if trying to somehow ease the pain he feels, "It must have been very difficult for you."
"No, Y/N," he observes you instantly, speaking to you in a soft tone, "You don't have to apologize. I deserved this and I'm not saying it to cause pity or play the victim," he adds with earnest sincerity, "I'm saying it because it's true. This is the least I deserve after everything you had to go through because of me."
You decide not to say anything at this, just offer him your silent support, while he again seems lost in his own thoughts for a few long seconds, where neither of you say anything.
When suddenly, Aenar emits an infectious giggle, instantly attracting both of your attention.
His small hands hold a toy with enthusiasm, his smile and the tenderness he conveys bringing brightness to the living room and the state Aemond is in, who smiles softly at the scene, watching him with complete adoration.
He sighs and rises from the couch, moving towards him, holding him gently, needing the sensation at that moment of holding him in his arms.
Aenar squeals with excitement and joy, placing his small arms on his chest, moving energetically in his arms, smiling big at him with his blue eyes completely filled with a glow.
The scene makes you smile softly, especially when Aemond also takes one of his toys and begins to play with it in his arms as he starts to walk slowly around the living room, talking to it in a honeyed tone and causing Aenar to babble incomprehensible words but full of happiness in his tone.
And when Aenar entertains himself with his father's silver hair, Aemond speaks again, turning to you to observe you.
"Despite everything, they want to meet him," he says, watching Aenar in his arms, "And they also want to meet you, my mother more than anyone else."
And this also completely grabs your attention.
"Really?"
"Hmm," he nods, "But I didn't tell them yes or no," he lets you know, "I wanted to consult it with you first."
"But is this good or not?" you ask, looking to find positivity in the situation, "Or do you think they shouldn't know him yet?"
"Of course they should," he tells you softly, "I owe this to them, also to you. But as I tell you, I didn't know how you would react if I told you they would meet him soon, I wanted to check with you first."
You place a reassuring smile in his direction.
"Aemond, for me it's perfect for Aenar to meet his grandmother, his uncles and aunts. It's a great opportunity and will definitely be good for him," you assure him.
"Yes, it is," he nods, unconsciously beginning to imagine the moment, "They can come or we can go to them, whichever you decide."
"Either way is fine with me," you shrug, "When might that be?"
Aemond thinks for a moment before answering.
"We could arrange it next weekend. Sounds good?"
You nod with a reassuring little smile.
"Sounds good."
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The Targaryen—Hightower family decides to come to you.
When Aemond gives you the news, even though at first you were totally fine and had no problem with it, inevitably knowing it instantly makes you nervous.
You've never met his family before, not even when you and Aemond were a couple for obvious reasons. And even though his family isn't involved within the entertainment and film industry, you've still heard enough about them to feel slightly intimidated.
About Alicent Hightower, Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen more than anyone.
The uncertainty of how they will perceive you, especially after disappearing from Aemond's life without warning and also how they will treat you, that's what worries you the most.
But the fact that they will be coming to your house relieves you a little. Fortunately you won't be interacting with them in unfamiliar terrain and you're sure that the presence of Aenar, his toys and Aemond will go a long way to reassuring you.
"Do you need help?"
Aemond appears behind you, while you find yourself cleaning everything you can from your living room and Aenar, as usual, is sitting on the carpet with all his toys around him.
"I'm just cleaning up in here, then I'll go clean the kitchen."
"Don't worry, me and this little handsome will clean the kitchen."
He walks over to Aenar and takes him in his arms, who is already dressed in an outfit too cute for the occasion and smells like baby soap from the previous bath you gave him, ready to meet his family.
Aemond goes with him to the kitchen, sitting him in his perch, keeping an eye on him while at the same time starting to clean up.
You start moving some of Aenar's toys, organizing his play area a bit, to create a more orderly and cozy space in the living. You also mop the floor and arrange cushions.
Aemond washes a few dirty dishes and cleans all the shelves, also mops and spreads your favorite Lavender scent, which besides smelling amazing, calms your nerves.
You also ask him to help you tidy up the dining room while you clean the bathroom, wanting everything to look clean and spotless, while Aemond takes Aenar in his arms again to let him play in his play area and he watches him closely from that new distance.
"Maybe I should have cooked something?"
You walk over to him, slightly concerned.
"What? No," he turns to you, instantly, "Y/N, they're coming to meet Aenar, not to eat."
"I know, but..." you explain, nervously, "I thought maybe it would be a good idea to have something prepared, out of courtesy and.... I don't know. Won't it be rude of me if I don't have anything to offer them?"
"Of course not, you don't have to," he clarifies, more serious but with a soft tone, "If you want to have something prepared, let it be some drinks, nothing more."
Still you watch him hesitantly and worriedly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, very sure," he assures you, "In fact I'll prepare them. You rest and take care of Aenar. I'll finish cleaning up everything else."
"No, I-I-
"Rest," he repeats, interrupting you, placing a hand on your cheek gently, "I know this may be overwhelming, but they will come to meet Aenar and you too. And you don't have to put too much pressure on yourself. Everything will be fine."
Her warmth and understanding manage to comfort you a little, making you stop feeling so tense little by little.
"Now rest, okay?" he says softly to then walk past you and head towards the kitchen, not taking any argument back.
It's clear that he wants to lighten your load and make sure you feel comfortable about all this that's about to happen, with his actions conveying reassurance.
And finally after a while, you are ready and waiting in the living room with Aenar, playing with him, while Aemond is sitting on the single sofa and who a few minutes ago let you know that his family is on their way.
And after a few more long minutes, Aemond now lets you know that his family has already passed through the security gate that leads into the private neighborhood.
Knowing that fills you with nerves again, but Aenar's babbling as he hands you his currently favorite toys distracts you a bit.
"Are you okay?"
Aemond asks you from where he sits, watching you intently and noticing the tension all over your face and body, while you try to look completely calm and relaxed.
"Yeah, yeah, just... a little nervous," you say trying to place a genuine smile on your face as you distract yourself by touching Aenar's toys, "Who exactly is coming? Other than your mother and siblings," you can't help but ask.
"My grandfather."
You watch him expectantly, waiting for him to tell you more, but he doesn't.
"And that's everyone?"
"Well, Rhaenyra said my nephews wanted to come too, my uncle Daemon with his daughters too but I asked them to wait a little longer," he explains to you slightly concerned, "I didn't want you to feel nervous and overwhelmed if my whole family invaded your house. And Aenar sure would have felt scared too."
You bite the inside of your cheek and he rises from the couch to walk over to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"Hey, don't worry, okay? It's going to be fine. They're excited to meet you and Aenar."
You release a long breath through your nose, placing one of your hands on top of his, feeling your shoulders especially start to feel less tense.
"Yes... thank you," you tell him with gratitude in your gaze, appreciating his support.
And then the doorbell rings.
Aemond gives you one last reassuring glance, assuring you that everything will be fine, then turns and heads for the door to greet them, as you rise from the couch and take Aenar in your arms.
The tension in your shoulders gradually dissolves as you hold your baby in your arms, replaced by a sense of calm, as you watch the front door intently and finish mentally preparing yourself.
Aemond opens the door gently with a warm smile on his lips and the first to enter is his mother, Alicent Hightower, in a beautiful, elegant green dress, followed by who you assume is Otto Hightower, his grandfather.
His mother wraps her arms around him and leaves a loving kiss on his cheek which Aemond reciprocates, as he also greets his grandfather, who watches the entire interior of the house with an inspecting gaze.
Behind Otto enters Rhaenyra, who embraces Aemond.
"Thank you for coming," Aemond says to her, leaving a kiss on her cheek.
"Of course," she smiles at him, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek as well before pulling away from him.
"You guys too, thank you," she says to Aegon and the rest of her brothers, "Come on in."
Both brothers, Aegon and Daeron, embrace him, speaking words of assurance, leaving Helaena at last, who throws herself into his arms with obvious emotion, smiling with joy and longing, as Aemond leaves a kiss in her hair.
Then Aemond closes the door and before heading towards you, who are still standing very still near the couch with Aenar in his arms, his whole family finally notices you and especially the child in your arms.
"Thank you for coming, all of you," Aemond repeats as he turns to you, "Let me introduce you to Y/N," he points to you, "She works on the same recording set I am currently working on as well."
You put on the best friendly and kind smile possible, as Aemond takes Aenar in his arms so that you can meet his family. And the first to address you is Alicent, with her stunning elegance and a soft smile on a warm face.
"Nice to finally meet you, my dear. My son has spoken so much about you."
The tension almost completely leaves your body, feeling grateful and relieved by the welcoming tone of her voice, evaporating your fear about how everyone, especially her, would treat you.
"The pleasure is mine. I'm happy you're here."
You reach out your hand to her and, pleased, she takes it. But she takes you by surprise when she pulls you closer to her and wraps you in a gentle embrace, definitely not expecting that.
You freeze for a moment, then, a little hesitantly, return her embrace, grateful for the affectionate welcome. And when you both part, she has a smile that denotes sincerity and cordiality, then points you to Aemond's grandfather behind her.
"This is my father, Otto," Alicent introduces you as he watches you with an appraising expression, "He has also heard much about you and was very pleased to come here."
And though his look is somewhat... intimidating, you don't let that invade your nerves.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hightower," you tell him in a soft, polite voice, extending your hand to shake with his as well.
"The pleasure is mine, Y/N," he replies in a low, polite voice, shaking your hand briefly.
"And this is Rhaenyra," Alicent points you to the woman who is just as refined as she is and shares Aemond's same characteristic of silver hair, as do the rest of his siblings.
She smiles towards you and gracefully approaches, then embraces you in greeting mode, as does Alicent.
"It's nice to finally meet you," she tells you cheerfully, "Aemond told me so much about you and of course your little one," she tells you as she gives Aenar a loving look.
"The pleasure is all mine. Aemond also spoke a lot about you and was very excited to meet you," you tell her, as she holds your hands in a gentle grip.
"Well here we are," she tells you without wiping away her smile, then looks behind her, turning her attention to the rest of Aemond's siblings, "Oh and they are my siblings," she gestures you towards Aegon, Daeron and Helaena, who have friendly glances in your direction.
Aegon steps forward first, extending his hand.
"I am Aegon. I hope you're not feeling overwhelmed with so many silverheads invading your home."
"No, no, not at all," you laugh softly, taking his hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Aegon."
Daeron is next, greeting you with a friendly smile.
"Hello, nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Daeron. Aemond told us a lot about you and Aenar."
"Pleasure to meet you, Daeron," you say, noting the sincere camaraderie emanating from both brothers.
And finally, Helaena gives a few towards you, with an expression of pure excitement on her face and hugs you effusively.
"At last we meet!" she exclaims happily, "I was so excited to see you."
"Oh," you respond to her hug also a little surprised and with gratitude, "It's nice to meet you. Aemond has also told me a lot about you.".
"Good things, I hope," she says with a smile, pulling away from you.
And gosh, you can just see how much her sisters and brothers resemble Aemond. Their beauties are otherworldly and even Alicent is truly beautiful, as much as Rhaenyra is.
"And this..." begins to announce Aemond with Aenar in his arms and a radiant smile lighting up his face as he approaches the center of the living room, where his entire family watches him intently, "This is our son, Aenar," he says with pride in his voice, finally introducing his son.
Everyone's gaze focuses on the baby in Aemond's arms, who oblivious to the situation, watches them back with his huge bright blue eyes curious and expectant, while you place a small smile, anticipating the magical meeting of your little one with the rest of his family.
Helaena, visibly moved, can't hold back tears and tries to calm herself, with happiness, longing and nostalgia in her eyes. Aegon smiles with pride and Rhaenyra with adoration.
And meanwhile, Daeron, Otto and Alicent barely finish processing the reality of having Aenar in front of them.
Until Alicent steps forward gently, his eyes and gaze shining with curiosity, slight surprise, longing and adoration as he watches the little one, his newly presented grandson.
"Is that my grandson?" she murmurs in disbelief with tears beginning to form in her eyes and a hand on her chest.
Aemond, with a warm smile, nods at the question.
"Yes, Mom," he gently observes her and seeing her condition, looks at her with complete understanding, "Do you want to hold him?" he offers, carefully extending Aenar to her, sharing in the joy of her holding her grandson.
Alicent, tears streaming down her cheeks and visibly moved, nods in a touched nod with her gaze reflecting all her emotions, joy and awe.
She takes another step forward and reaches out her arms, where Aemond carefully places Aenar in her arms, who now watches him adoringly and with a mixture of happiness and emotion reflected in her gaze.
Alicent can't help but let out a couple more tears as Aenar babbles and watches her with great wonder, moving his small hands to her brown hair, starting to play with her curls, making her laugh softly in the midst of her tears and all the emotions she feels.
Aemond watches his mother tenderly as she enjoys her first encounter with her grandson, while you can't help but feel moved as well and wipe away a few tears that have escaped your eyes, watching the moment with emotion and nostalgia.
"My little Aenar," Alicent whispers, tenderly kissing his forehead, cradling him in her arms.
Aemond, still smiling and holding back his tears, diverts his gaze to you and you watch him back, where you both share a small smile and a silent complicity, both feeling the same way and recognizing the happiness this moment has brought to your lives.
And then Helaena approaches together with Daeron towards her mother, to watch Aenar and share the joy of the moment.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" comments Helaena, smiling, as Daeron watches him with a small smile of adoration and strokes his silver hair tenderly.
"Absolutely beautiful," whispers Alicent, her eyes shining with tenderness, not taking her eyes off him for a second.
"He's lovely," Rhaenyra comments with her soft little smile.
And then Alicent lifts his gaze to Aemond.
"And he looks exactly like you, darling," she tells him tenderly, recognizing the familiar features on Aenar's face and creating a moment full of emotion and family connection.
Aemond, touched and grateful, smiles at his mother's words.
"I think he has a little bit of both," Aemond replies, sharing a proud look with you.
Aenar physically by hair and eyes resembles Aemond, but some features of his face he definitely inherited from you and you can't help but smile in his direction.
And then, within the next few minutes, the whole family continues to make affectionate moments with Aenar. Helaena being the most excited is the one who now holds Aenar tenderly in her arms, leaving a couple of loving kisses on her cheek, while Rhaenyra approaches her to observe Aenar with a motherly gaze.
The imposing figure of Otto Hightower stands watching with satisfaction the scene unfolding in front of him, especially as he sees the happiness and excitement of Alicent and his grandchildren.
He doesn't say much, but his presence exudes a sense of quiet approval and though he doesn't show it, he honestly feels proud of Aemond, this reunion of his family and the arrival of a new member to it.
As Aegon approaches towards Aemond with a friendly, warm smile, placing a hand on his shoulder where he shares his gesture of brotherhood and pride.
"Congratulations, brother," he tells him sincerely, "He is beautiful and a mini version of you."
Aemond nods gratefully, the smile on his lips and places one of his hands on top of his.
"Thank you, brother. I appreciate it."
Now it is Daeron who takes Aenar in his arms and carries him to his play area, followed by Helaena, Rhaenyra, Alicent and you.
Helaena also takes a seat on the carpet with Alicent and the three of them start playing with him, who shows his enthusiasm and fills the living room with his giggles, melting the hearts of everyone present.
The atmosphere definitely becomes livelier and warmer, transforming into a special moment for everyone, where both you and Aenar feel completely comfortable and happy.
And as a few long minutes pass, Aemond watches all the interaction, happy and completely pleased, seeing how you converse with Rhaenyra and the rest of his family is totally entertained by Aenar.
Even his mother asks to have her picture taken with him and slowly begins to fill a new photo album of her grandson on her phone reel, completely enchanted with him.
Such a sight and such a moment couldn't make him happier, being a moment he needed so much and couldn't be more proud of. And how could he not?
His watching his son integrate into his family. And you are definitely getting along great with all of them.
Aegon stands by his side, sharing the gesture of complicity as they watch Helaena and Daeron make sounds with Aenar's toys that make him laugh and squeal with happiness.
Absolutely beautiful.
"So..." Aegon begins to say beside him, catching his attention, "You're going to show him to the world?"
He watches him intently, as Aemond holds his gaze for a second to look back at Aenar with an affectionate gaze, smiling softly.
"That's what Y/N would have wanted at first, when she got pregnant," he says softly, remembering those painful moments, "But no, at least not yet," he replies, turning his gaze back to his brother, "We talk and want to give him a normal childhood as much as possible."
Aegon nods with understanding, listening to him with full attention, then lets out a sigh, watching Aenar.
"The world is going to go mad when they find out, little brother," he says with an amused smile.
"I don't care," he says with a shrug, "All I care about is him."
Aegon smiles warmly again, acknowledging Aemond's priority as a father and he couldn't be prouder of him. He may be the older brother but Aemond...he's the one who matured first, always cleaning up his shit and making sure everyone was okay.
And even though when Aemond told them about this, about you and Aenar, it turned out to be a complete disaster, Aegon is glad that right now his family is responding in this way, loving you and Aenar.
"And what happened to Criston?"
He decides to ask you, curious and attentive, as Aemond takes a moment and exhales deeply, he too being a person who brings back horrible memories of the past.
"I fired him," he replies with a disinterested wave of his hand, "And his entire team too," he adds, "That's what I should have done in the beginning with him."
"And he threatened you?"
Aemond lets out an amused smile, remembering those days as well.
"Yes but I hired a lawyer and they made him sign a confidentiality sheet," he explains, "He couldn't do anything against that."
Aegon nods, pleased to hear those words, as you both turn your gaze back to the family, where Aenar's laughter still echoes throughout the living room, Aemond smiling lovingly as he watches his mother assail him with soft kisses.
Your soft laughter catches your attention as well, watching you with almost the same adoration and love as he watches Aenar, watching you converse with Rhaenyra where you both let out soft giggles at whatever it is you are talking about.
And he can't help but watch you extra longingly, wistfully, happily and longingly, loving to see the smile on your lips and the look of joy you have, his perfect and beautiful Y/N.
He honestly doesn't know what would have become of him if he had never seen you again. He'll probably still be sunk in his misery, regretful and trapped. But with each passing day he thanks the Gods for this, again and again, this second chance.
And Aegon doesn't take this unnoticed, the way his brother is looking at you.
"You really fucked things up with her, didn't you?"
His words break the spell he was under and he bites his lips, averting his gaze from you, beginning to feel ashamed and also with that guilt simmering in his chest.
"Yeah," he replies in a low murmur.
"You still love her."
Aegon tells him watching him intently with a complicity and understanding, not asking any questions, as he is making a statement, affirming it.
And Aemond again speaks the truth, neither denying it nor hiding it.
"Never stop doing so."
Aegon lets out a long breath, honestly feeling bad for him, to place his hand on his shoulder again.
"Brother, we all make mistakes," he tells him softly, "People fuck up and fuck up badly. I'm sure you get that from a person like me," he points to himself, still speaking in a serious tone, "And the important thing is to learn from them and move on. And I'm sure she's seen that in you."
"No, Aegon," he says softly, shaking his head, "What happened between us was different and... unforgivable," he says with the slight pain in his tone, "This is all happening only for Aenar and his well-being."
"So you don't plan to do anything about it?"
"I don't know," he says regretfully, letting out a sigh, "Things are complicated. And with everything that happened surely Y/N doesn't feel that way about me anymore. Besides what really matters is Aenar and I want to be a good father to him."
"I understand that, brother. But maybe all is not lost and all you need to do is try," he tells him in an encouraging tone, "Life is unpredictable, you know? And who knows... maybe Y/N still has feelings for you."
Aemond grimaces.
"I don't know, bro. I don't think so."
Aegon decides to say no more, just nods, for after all, he understands the complexity of his situation. And inevitably, though he shouldn't, with the words he has spoken to him, Aemond feels a small glimmer of hope.
Meanwhile the inside of your house continues to fill with laughter and conversation as everyone enjoys family time. And in the middle of it all, Alicent notices you going to the kitchen for a moment, this catching her attention and being the opportunity to talk to you.
So, giving her attention away from her grandson since she arrived, without saying anything to anyone, she discreetly follows you into the kitchen.
As she passes through the frame, she sees you arranging the drinks that Aemond prepared for them on a tray, wanting to offer them. But when Alicent's figure entering the kitchen catches your attention, you immediately turn to her.
"I don't intend to take up too much of your time, my dear," Alicent hastens to speak with a small smile on her lips.
"Oh, yeah, yeah," you nod immediately, "Do you need something?"
"I just want to talk to you," she answers you softly, "And it's nothing bad, I just... want to thank you for welcoming us into your home," she says, showing the sincerity in her look and tone, "I honestly haven't felt this happy in my life in a long time. And meeting Aenar has definitely made me very happy," she pauses a little, "Thank you."
"No, no, you don't have to thank me," you reply, with a soft look, "It's a pleasure to have all of you here. And you have made Aenar very happy too."
"No, I really do thank you," she insists with a soft tone, "Your home is beautiful and definitely an excellent place for Aenar to grow up."
"Oh, thank you," you smile kindly at her, "Actually this house was bought by Aemond. He must have told them or at least you, I suppose."
"Yes, he did," she nods, "He also told us how much you refused at first but I understand you. It must have been a very meaningful but very overwhelming gesture for you."
You nod with understanding, biting your lips.
"Yes," you murmur, "Yes it was. But I only accepted for Aenar," you hasten to clarify, "I didn't do it for my own convenience, whether for money or fame. I accepted for Aenar, so that he could have his father in his life and together give him the best."
"Yes, sweetheart," she advances towards you and takes your hands between her gently, "I know," she assures you, "You don't have to explain anything, everything is more than understandable."
You let out a long breath.
"Thank you," you tell her sincerely.
"It's okay," she smiles softly at you, "And listen, I-I... I really don't want to make you uncomfortable nor do I want to make you feel bad, in fact Aemond asked me not to talk to you about this but..." she looks at you with some tenderness and longing, "I just want to tell you how very brave you are, Y/N."
You shudder at the sweetness of her unexpected words, feeling a warmth run through your chest as a mixture of gratitude and longing flashes across your face, suddenly feeling completely vulnerable.
"I didn't blame you for deciding to run away, no one judges you for it."
She lets you know by telling you in a soft voice and as tactfully as possible.
"As much as I would have loved to have met you sooner, Aemond's decisions were terrible and I can't imagine everything you had to go through on your own," she says with slight shock and sadness, holding your hand tighter, "Your pregnancy, living in a new unfamiliar place and trying to make it on your own."
You bite your lips, feeling a sharp pain in your chest and tears begin to form in your eyes, but you gather your strength and try not to let them fall despite the memories of painful moments.
Her words resonate with genuine understanding and her warm touch brings you a comfort you didn't expect but definitely needed.
"Yes," you whisper, feeling the lump in your throat, "It was very scary and very difficult," you confess, "But Aenar made every sacrifice worth it."
"Of course," she murmurs, with a sympathetic look.
"Oh and... it must have been hard for you too," you say, remembering, "In those days seeing Aemond so sad and desperate must have worried you a lot. It even almost put in danger his career and you had no idea about me and what had happened."
"Yes, that was very scary too," she nods with a sad smile, "We didn't know what had happened, he pushed everyone away, even Helaena and... I couldn't stand to see him like that, but he wouldn't accept our help either," she explains, "But now, just like me, I've never seen Aemond so happy in his life."
Her tone is genuine and you hold her gaze with appreciation and understanding, feeling completely grateful for this pleasant acceptance and welcome by Aemond's family.
And in that moment you can feel, as Alicent does, how your connection grows stronger in your shared understanding of past challenges and new hope.
"You are a strong woman, Y/N. And I also want you to know that regardless of the circumstances between you and Aemond, I want you to know that you are part of our family now and we are here to support you."
You feel a happiness and relief course through your body, grateful for her words and her total understanding, as you nod in her direction.
"Thank you, Alicent."
And Alicent unable to contain herself, wraps you in a hug full of tenderness that you reciprocate, with the atmosphere filling with a sense of mutual acceptance and support.
And from there, the rest of the afternoon is spent sharing laughter and creating special memories.
Aegon plays with Aenar while Daeron and Helaena join in the fun, making your little one laugh with every quip and funny face that Aegon especially makes.
Alicent and Rhaenyra also join in, creating a connection with Aenar and showing him affection, while Aemond and you watch it all sitting together on the couch, each with a smile on your lips.
Until the visit comes to an end and the family says goodbye with expressions of gratitude and affection. Helaena is the one who insists on exchanging numbers to stay in touch, while she along with Alicent and Aegon promise to visit again soon.
It's a bit hard for Alicent to want to let go of Aenar, but eventually she does and then Aemond and you finish picking up and sorting all of Aenar's scattered toys.
Until it's also time for Aemond to leave.
"Thank you for this day. It was amazing and better than I could have hoped for. Even mom loves you more than she ever loved me."
You smile in his direction sincerely, laughing softly.
"It was nothing, Aemond. It was all very nice. Your family was very kind and Aenar had a great time."
"Yes," he murmurs as he watches his little boy adoringly and then turns his gaze back to you, "Still, thank you... for everything."
You see the intent in his gaze, also in his body, the way he fights it, catching your attention and being a bit amused at it, then moving towards him and wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him.
Surprised and definitely not expecting that, Aemond doesn't take long to reciprocate your embrace, a little hesitantly at first but he does, slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you close against him.
A sigh escapes his lips as he closes his eye, feeling that warmth in his body and that almost happiness at the sensation of having you close again.
He had missed it.
The embrace conveys a mutual support and understanding, also a kind of affection that Aemond can't quite decipher.
But honestly at that moment he doesn't mind and allows himself to enjoy and seize every moment of this feeling, knowing that he may not be able to have you again soon in this way, before you both part and he drives to his apartment.
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Regular visits from the Aemond family to your home become a pleasant daily moment. Each encounter brings laughter, love and a sense of family unity.
Aenar, with his contagious laughter, becomes the center of attention, further strengthening family bonds.
The bond between Aenar and his relatives grows stronger over time, so his extended family becomes fully involved in his growth and development. Laughter and play fill the halls of your home, creating precious memories.
Eventually you also meet the rest of Aemond's family as well as Aenar, like Daemon Targaryen, who is definitely a bit more intimidating than Otto Hightower. But once Daemon feels confident, he's the coolest guy.
You also meet Aemond's cousins, the twins Baela and Rhaena, Daemon's daughters, who are extremely kind and sweet to you.
And you also meet Rhaenyra's sons, Jace, Luke and Joffrey, where eventually she also introduces you to her youngest children, Aegon and Viserys.
Your relationship with each member of the Targaryen-Hightower family develop into genuine friendships. Helaena, Rhaenyra and Alicent become confidants and allies to Aenar's shared upbringing.
The complicity between the women in the family is supportive and builds a safe and loving environment for Aenar and the rest of the children.
Until, on occasion, you decide to take Aenar to the majestic Targaryen-Hightower mansion. The incredible residence becomes a second home for him, who explores every corner with curiosity and becomes familiar with the new walls.
Aegon, as the older brother he is, becomes his second protective figure. Together they share adventures through the mansion's extensive gardens and enjoy playing with Legos blocks or his plastic carts.
With Helaena, she connects with Aenar through her charm and utterly beautiful aura, always playing with him, carrying him in her arms and telling him fantasy stories with gestures and figures.
And with Daeron, Aenar loves it when he watches his favorite cartoons with him. Also eventually Aenar becomes his weakness, as he always fills him with more toys and always thinks of him to give him everything that makes him happy, even food.
And when Aenar cries, Daeron is the first of the siblings to come to him, slightly concerned and immediately wanting to make him feel good.
Meanwhile, your relationship with Aemond, while not resuming the romance of the past, transforms into a serene, enjoyable and respectful one. Aenar's upbringing becomes the main point of building his future and lacking nothing.
Although memories of the painful past persist, both have learned to cope and accept it, in order to move forward.
And eventually, in a significant moment and one that lasted hours of conversation between Aemond and you, also one that was an arduous process of documentation and much waiting, a culmination of a stage of your life is realized that further solidifies the unique connection between Aenar, Aemond and you.
A recognition that brings with it a clear message of commitment and love for the future of your family. The significant moment when Aemond asks for your permission to legally recognize his child and you allow him to do so.
It was not something you had to think about too much, as Aemond has shown you so much and the emotion in his eyes through his tears when you said yes, only further confirmed the fact that you were not making a wrong decision.
And everyone in the family celebrates when Aemond's last name is added to your son's name and he is finally named Aenar Targaryen.
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general taglist:
@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys @cakescupcakesminicookies
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will1ams0n · 1 year ago
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Tease - Leah Williamson
Summary - On holiday in Ibiza with your GF Leah Williamson and some friends. You have needs, and she wants to make your day as uncomfortable as possible…
Warning - Leah Williamson being an actual tease, sexual tension, sexual references, beginner tumblr writer post…
———
You knew she knew what she was doing, and you knew that she was aware that you knew she knew. She’d been teasing you from first thing this morning.
The sun had woken you softly, coming through the open curtains as you lay next to your girlfriend who was only in boxers and a sports bra due to the heat, you however forever liking the comfort of pyjamas were in an old Arsenal training vest of hers and some old shorts. Her arm was haphazardly flung over your waist, and our legs were entwined. It was hot though, incredibly hot. The weather, as well as the sexual tension of the position whenever she’d shift her leg.
You wanted to free yourself from her grasp, longing for a cold shower to clear your mind of the racing thoughts, as well as to try and lower your temperature. You were going out today to a late breakfast with some friends, before heading to the beach together, and lastly getting hammered at a club, mostly just enjoying the time off from football and any other working commitments.
As you tried to untangle yourself her grip fastened and she pulled you back into her. Your bodies once again fitting together perfectly. You should have known she was already awake, she loved to enjoy morning cuddles. But also the ever shifting leg position should have given it away, she was teasing you.
“No” her voice said lowly, nuzzling into your neck before peppering kisses there. “Stay” she commanded and you just giggled at the feeling of her breath on your neck. She was a softy when she wanted to be, as hard as she tried to present herself, she was whipped for you. A total simp. And you loved every minute of it.
“Baby, we need to get up. Keira and Alex will be waiting for us” I said, turning around and pushing myself up onto my elbows and leaning over her. The heat of Ibiza had gotten to her also, and parts of her gorgeous blonde hair had stuck to her slightly sweaty face so I pushed them away, before kissing her briefly, watching her eyes flutter close,
“You don’t look too bad on the top you know” she just smirked in response, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of mischief and lust, I rolled my eyes laughing slightly, before she wrapped one leg around my waist and flipped us over. Her now hovering over me. The mischief gone from her eyes, only lust remaining. “But you look so much better under me” she whispers into my ear as she started her assault on my neck.
“Fuck. Le-“ I started before I got caught off by a moan escaping from my throat, and I involuntarily grabbed the back of her head, keeping her close, not wanting her to stop, but knowing in my mind we shouldn’t be starting something that we didn’t have time to finish.
Leah on the other hand was not phased, and did certainly not seem worried about the jam packed day as her hand trailed up my leg, and under my shirt before reaching their intended destination. My breath hitching as her hand brushed over my breasts.
“Baby, please” I moaned out, grabbed her face in my hands and pulling her lips onto mine in a passionate kiss. Expressing everything I want to say and ask her to do to me in it.
I shut my eyes, throwing my head back ever so slightly, and pulling her face back so she could continue her assault on my neck, when I felt her knee come into contact with my core, she shifted a few times, causing silent gasps to fall my mouth, I wanted more. I needed more. But before I could do anything about it she’d jumped off of me and was stretching widely. Letting out a huge yawn.
Now my eyes shot to the smug looking blonde who was ignoring my glare on her back as she chose her outfit for the day, as if nothing had happened, as if she was totally innocent.
“What you thinking baby” she asked turning around, showing me her black bikini, that would not cover enough skin to help my ever growing need for her touch, her taunting tone was clear,
“I’m thinking why the fuck did you stop?” I huffed, sitting up and shuffling towards her to sit at the end of the bed and she walked in between my legs, using her finger to lift my my chin,
“Because a beautiful woman reminded me that we couldn’t be late for our friends this morning” she smirked, pecking me quickly, before admiring my flushed face and lust filled eyes, “you might want to take a cold shower though” she winked, before heading back to look through her clothes. Damn her, and damn me for mentioning rushing this morning.
I grumbled, muttering complaints and annoyances at the blonde as I got up, to which she only chuckled and made the bed whilst I headed through to the shower. The coldness was refreshing at least, it was calming, however the blonde that came into the bathroom half way through, and checked me out was not. She clearly enjoyed stripping and putting on her bikini right in front of, her eyes on mine, and it did absolutely nothing to the butterflies in my lower half.
“Baby please, stop this” I whined at her, and she just laughed leaving the room. Today was going to be a long day.
———
Feedback is appreciated. I don’t know how to do the ask thingy haha, and how you guys could beat communicate with me. I’m learning haha. I managed to create a master list. I was very proud of that achievement to be honest haha. Again thank you for baring with me whilst I learn.
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sp00kymulderr · 17 days ago
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it might be nice
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Dieter Bravo x f!reader
Warnings/Tags/Notes: 18+. FEELINGS. Angst. love. just...feelings. Mention of f receiving oral, reader is a not a us-citizen (visa stuff), commitment and intimacy issues all round, did I mentioned feelings? This just kinda started writing itself, i appreciate there isn't enough Dieter in it but it is what it is. Unedited, unbeta'd.
Words: 1.1k
Summary: It's more than enough. Having what you have with him now.
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"We could get married"
You look up from your book, drawn back from your far away to the sound of his voice. Dieter is looking at you expectantly.
Your eyes widen as you process the four words that just left his mouth.
"Dee, we…why would we…" You trail off, drawing your legs up and out of his lap, his thumb presses down on the arch of your foot once more before he lets it go.
The conversation had moved on hours ago. Over takeout you'd mentioned trepidation over being able to stay in the country, struggling with your visa and having no sponsorship since you couldn't seem to get a fucking job right now.
Dieter had listened, sympathised, and then eaten you out for dessert just to make you feel better about your situation.
It helped. He'd been pretty mediocre but extremely enthusiastic when you'd met, but now you'd taught him some tricks he knew just how to turn your mind off for a moment.
The conversation was finished the moment he put his mouth on you, or so you thought. He could help you pay for an extension but he wasn't influential or wealthy enough to sway the embassy into letting you stay longer.
"I'd bribe the fuck out of them if I could, you know that"
You did know that. You knew he'd do anything for you. He'd been saying it since the day he met you, once famous (more like infamous) movie star turned rehabilitated recluse with no one willing to be by his side until that day.
He'd met you in a Dennys, of all places. 3am waffles served to his lonely little corner booth because he found it hard to sleep these days, and he got hungry at random times. You took the late shifts because they paid the best, and you could be available in the day for calls from your agent that never came.
It hadn't been sexual at first. It hadn't been anything but a displaced, alone man and an exhausted, untethered waitress sitting in a booth and sharing free fries because chef made too many and they'd only go to waste. It had been whispered giggles, and sharing ridiculous Hollywood horror stories, and 'same time tomorrow' over and over again.
No one in LA had made you laugh. Not until you met him.
Dieter hadn't heard genuine laughter in years. Now he got to hear it every night.
Back in the now, you shake your head. He's being silly. He's trying to make you laugh again.
"Don't be stupid" You playfully shove his shoulder with your foot, but his face falls into a frown, and you feel a little crack in your heart at the sight. You watch as he stands, rubbing fingers across his forearm and muttering a little 'Stupid, yeah'. The tremor you feel inside you is nameless, and you will it to remain that way.
In the last six months of your knowing each other, there have been times when you've felt this same feeling. An ache at the thought that he could be anything other than happy. You'd long since left Dennys for the upward trajectory of the Cheesecake Factory but still when the late shift rolls around you feel a tug at your lips and a name on them, even when you'd seen him only hours before.
You're not an item, that's the thing. You're not a couple. Neither of you have ever said the words outright, no 'I want to be with you', 'I want to be yours'. Not to each other, at least.
It's more than enough. Having what you have with him now. It's enough, it's enough, it's enough. Enough that he will sit up all night long and read lines with you again and again and again. Enough that he tells you not to come over on his bad days but you do anyway, and hold him while he cries.
It's enough to be just this. Because more would only make it hurt more when he relapses, when you have to leave.
When you have to leave…
You close your book, set it down on the table that's strewn with pages for your latest audition. Last night he'd coached you through every single line, and then told you with passion just how perfect you were. You can hear him in the kitchen, and you know he's making himself a decaf latte with way too much caramel syrup and a dash of the kitkat sprinkles because that's what he always makes when he might be starting to crave something else.
That's how you know he wasn't making a joke. That's how you know your hurt his feelings. That and every look he's ever given you, every smile that lights up his eyes that's only been for you. That and the way his hands never stray far from you, always grounding himself with the touch of your skin to his.
"Dee…" You pad up to him slowly, watch as he tenses at your presence. Another prickle in your chest, you can't let him think you don't feel...what it is that you feel.
"Would it be so bad?" He asks without turning, the tinge of dejection in his tone making you reach out. "I'd treat you good, you know. We wouldn't even have to live together or anything…it can just be a way for you to stay. That's all. I didn't think it would be so bad for you"
God, you've had him right in your grasp this whole time. The two of you dancing around your feelings all because of fears you didn't even fully realise you had til now.
"I'd- I wouldn't even tell anyone you were my wife, if you didn't want me to. I wouldn't expect anything from it. I just…fuck,"
You turn him around with a pull to his arm, shake your head and bite back something hopeful and beautiful that inches up your throat,
"I don't want you to go"
Your arms are around his middle, a stifled sob as you bury your face against the soft, worn fabric of his favourite t-shirt - your favourite by extension because everything he loves you love too. He smells like him.
You breathe him in.
He smells like home.
You look up at him and smile. Not the pretty smile you give to casting agents - the one that makes you look perfect - but the big, happy, loving one he saw the very first night you two met in that Dennys at three in the morning on a random Tuesday. The one he gives you back is the same; he's smiled a thousand times on camera, in films and press appearances and award shows. No one else but you has ever seen this smile.
You take a deep breath. The crack in your heart starts in fusing back together.
"We could get married"
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kittenlittle24 · 6 months ago
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Avoidance
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Warning: mention of miscarriage
Masterlist
You woke up to an empty bed, not unusual. Last night you had to pull an all-nighter in the hospital, so today you stayed home to catch up on some sleep.
When you first found out that you’re pregnant you were terrified. While you were married, happily at that. You never spoke about children but unexpectedly, your husband, notorious for a fear of commitment and self-destruction, was on board and seemed happy about the new addition.
You were in your first trimester, you weren’t feeling well. Aside from the normal nausea and constant vomiting, you knew something was up.  
A few hours later in the day, you felt something warm going down your thighs, and when you looked down, you started to freak out. It was blood.
Tearing up, you took a deep breath and figured you had to get to the hospital. Putting your shoes on, you shoved a sanitary pad, grabbed your keys, and rushed to your car.
lifting your shirt and putting some cold gel on your belly. The young doctor started the ultrasound, looking at the little screen for a while “I’m not very good at this, because I’m only a resident, I’ll call my attendant and she’ll be here in no time. ”  
Taking a deep shaky breath as you turned your eyes to the ceiling, while the other doctor entered your examination room. You could feel some tears running down your face, as the doctor looked at the monitor with a worried face, you knew something was not right. 
“I’m so sorry,” she says, making you look at your hands, with your heart almost out of your chest.
“I can’t seem to find a heartbeat. You had a miscarriage.” 
And at that moment, you couldn’t even breathe right.
You felt numb, you didn’t even know how you found yourself sitting in the hallway in an uncomfortable plastic chair. You had no memory of leaving the exam room and going to the second floor. You didn’t even look up when the sound of his cane neared you, nor when he called your name. Only when he touched your shoulder were you pulled out of your funk, you raised your head to expose, tears streaming down your cheeks, red and puffy eyes filled with even more tears.
Pulling you up from the chair and leading you to his office, he sat you in his chair before trying to understand what made you react this way. He knew you were going to be emotional when pregnant but this was certainly not a normal situation.
“I lost it.” You sobbed, “I lost the baby.”
For once, he had no words, instead he just wrapped his arms around you and embraced you.
It’s been two weeks since you have received the worst news of your life. Against your husband’s recommendation, you chose to throw yourself back into work. You left every day early in the morning and came late at night, going straight to bed. You did everything to avoid any thoughts or conversations about what happened.
You were in the clinic, working through lunch, a common occurrence lately. A fake smile was planted on your lips as you finished your patient checkup. You heard the door behind you open but chose to ignore it.
Turning to the counter behind you to prescribe before giving it to your patient, “You have a throat infection, take these for four days.”
The patient thanked you before he hopped off the bed and left the room.
“You know you can’t avoid me forever.”
You didn’t answer nor turned to face him.
“Although it does seem like you are trying. You leave before I wake up, come back after I’m asleep if you don’t stay here, that is. You don’t even go down to the cafeteria.”
“I am not avoiding you.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Turning to face him, “I’m a doctor, I know it’s not my damn fault.”
Frowning he took a step forward, “So you think it’s mine?”
Rolling your eyes, you tried to step around him to leave the room but got blocked by his cane.
“Cuddy asked me to find you, you’re being sent home.”
Staring at him in disbelief and anger, you crossed your arms, opening your mouth to yell at him but he cut you before you had the chance.
“I didn’t snitch. The last thing I want is Cuddy in my marriage. I do think she’s right, you need to rest, maybe digest-“
“Digest what Greg? That I lost our baby? I had a miscarriage it happens, now I need you to leave so I can do my job.”
“You need to stop avoiding-“
“I am not avoiding, all I do is think about what happened okay?” Having all the fight left you, you sat on the examination bed before adding, “And I can’t stop thinking what if it was a sign?”
Sitting beside you, “Having a miscarriage doesn’t mean anything about future pregn-“
Interrupting him, “I meant what if it’s a sign I shouldn’t be a mom.” You whispered as a tear left your eye.
Moving to stand in front of you, he cupped your cheeks and wiped your eyes, “Listen carefully now, you will be the most amazing mother any child can have. You’re married to me, that just proves how patient and resilient you are,”
You chuckled and sniffed.
“You’re incredible and when you’re ready and if you want, we could try again.”
Crying again, you asked, “You really want to try again?”
Smiling he nodded.
You covered his hands with yours and leaned forward to kiss him, “I love you and I’m so so sorry.”
Stroking your hair, “You could make it up to me by covering my clinic hours.”
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mechanicalpiper · 7 months ago
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Hey so I know your busy doing important things (And hearts out for whatever your doing) but I just had another idea come to mind that maybe you could put in a catalog for the future!
"Villain has just been defeated in a long battle by Hero and has decided to try a bit of seduction to win the day. However, Hero is Touch Starved to hell and back and cries at the slightest nice touch/caress"
Bonus points for some heart clenching fluff
Yours truly!
Cooper
You ever procrastinate so hard you start and finish an entirely different project?
By FAR the sappiest and most hurt/comfort-y I've done and was stupidly fun to write. Enjoy :3
Snippet #8
The sounds of strike after strike rang out through the empty city street.
Hero and Villain were once more locked in a tense brawl- nothing new, of course. It had become second nature to them by now- when you spend almost every other day scrapping with the same person for years, it's not hard to get used to it. Hell, with how familiar the two had gotten with each other's fighting styles by now, it was easy for either of them to just let their mind wander while they brawled if they just weren't feeling too up to it that day.
Hero was certainly having one of those days.
They semi-consciously blocked Villain's strikes and threw blows back, less like they were brawling for the safety of the city and more like they were doing a boring day job. An entirely different focus was on their mind... one that had stuck around for a while now. A thought? A worry? A feeling, or the lack of one? Hero couldn't tell by now.
They quickly ducked out of the way just in time as Villain threw a kick at their head, knocking them out of their train of thought and back into full consciousness.
Yeah, fuck, they were fighting Villain. Almost forgot.
Villain certainly took notice of their sudden attention. "Oh, THERE you are. C'mon, can't you at least focus? It's so much less fun when you zone out like that."
"Whuh-? Pff, fun? I'm here to stop you from committing murder, not for a little playdate." Hero grumbled back at their rival, still not fully back at attention.
"Hm. Certainly not the attitude from our first battle. Losing your touch, maybe?" Villain taunted back.
"You wish."
"I don't think I need to. You seem to be dulling just fine without help."
"Still sharper than you. I was winning without paying attention! You couldn't beat my subconscious, how do you expect to beat the rest of me?" As Hero shot back, a tiny smile began to form on their face. Wow, it's been a while since they've bantered in combat like this... it felt nice to just speak with someone, even if that someone was Villain, of all people.
"PFFFF. Winning? The only reason you're not bleeding out on the concrete right now is because I'm having fun with this. I spared you there, y'know~" Villain taunted, a confident grin on their face.
"Yeah, riiiight. How about you actually do something threatening before making simple empty thr-"
Hero was cut off by a sudden feeling- they brought a forearm up to block a strike from Villain, but instead of the expected punch, they felt a grab.
A... grab?
Hero froze in place for the slightest moment.
It was only a split second, but it felt like ages, as if their brain was desperately trying to to cling onto the brief moment. The slightest sensation.
Villain's touch was soft.
Yet, despite everything, the moment was still over far too quickly. Hero hardly even considered why Villain would go for a grab in the moment- by the time they processed the fact it was an attack, it was far too late.
Villain turned around to throw Hero against the concrete wall of the building behind them.
They let out a yelp of pain as they slammed backwards into the wall. After the touch, the motion of being thrown, the hard hit... Hero was far too disoriented to get back into action, let alone stay balanced. Unable to stand up, they just slid down against the wall with a small groan of pain until they found themself at a sitting position, defeated.
Villain let out a small, cocky giggle, stepping closer to Hero to look down at them.
Hero, while still rather disoriented, looked up to see Villain towering over them. ...Wow.
"Is that 'threatening' enough for you, sweetie~?" Villain taunted once more, looking down at the defeated Hero with cocky confidence. God, they loved the feeling of the weakened Hero looking up at them. Always felt nice to win against them.
Hero was already ignoring the pain.
Their brain latched onto that one word- one Villain didn't so much as emphasize saying, like it was nothing special.
Sweetie??
A pet name. A pet name??? Villain called them a pet name??? Sure, they've heard of it being used for taunting before, and really never thought much of it, but- but something about it felt so, so different. When was the last time they were acknowledged like that? Was there a last time? Why did just being acknowledged feel so good? Fuck, they shouldn't like this, they were beat up and lying against a wall with their arch nemesis towering over them, taunting them, but- but not k-killing them? It shouldn't feel... c-comforting, should it?...
...'Sweetheart'...
Villain just looked down at Hero, their cocky expression switched to mild confusion. They certainly didn't react like they were in much pain... Hero's face wasn't that red before, was it?
"Hm. Losing focus agai-"
Hero shook their head 'no' almost instantly, cutting Villain off in mild surprise. They were definitely paying attention, alright, but...
Villain slightly cocked their head at Hero, thinking for a moment. The pause was only a second or two, though. They were quick to get back to teasing, assuming they were simply overthinking a weird reaction.
"Hmmm~" they muttered, crouching down to get level with their defeated rival, keeping that same smug, satisfied look.
"See? I could've taken you out like that aaany time I wanted~"
Hero looked off to the side, as if trying to hide from the other's gaze- Villain's confidence only grew seeing the embarrassment they wanted out of Hero.
At least, what they saw as embarrassment. While that certainly was an aspect of it... it wasn't why Hero's attention diverted like that. Their thoughts weren't the feelings of humiliation and defeat Villain assumed.
An entirely different focus was on their mind.
A thought?
A worry?
A feeling, or the lack of one?
It could be any of them. It could depend on the circumstance. It could technically fall under every one of them, with the right logic.
Hero didn't know nor care.
All they knew is what it felt like right now.
It's a fear.
A fear of this. This emotion.
The first time in memory they've felt so... acknowledged, so strangely comfy- the only time they could have this feeling was when their nemesis was using it to taunt them. The only thing they were ever really seen or known for is their protection of the city. The Agency was obviously impersonal and corporate, other Heroes saw them as an antisocial business partner, the citizens of course only liked them for the protection, and they had nobody else outside of that despite their years of previous efforts.
The only value others saw in them was the tangible benefit they provided. The only value they saw in themself was just that. They so, so badly wanted this feeling of comfort, but they so, so deeply believed they didn't deserve it.
Believed the only way they could ever be worth loving is when it was a punishment like this.
All Villain saw was Hero looking off to the side. Zoning out again? They mumbled something to themself, leaning down just a little more.
Hero didn't always used to do that. It had them worried, honestly. It only began somewhat recently, but it was absolutely constant.
Villain felt bad. Yeah, their public motive was always money or power or whatever evil plot they had for the week would accomplish, and while those certainty were good benefits, they weren't the reason they did it.
They did it for Hero.
They weren't joking when they said they were messing with them for fun earlier. It started as just a want to fight, but the second they came across Hero, they couldn't keep themself away. At first it was simply their fighting style being fun, as Villain justified it to themself. Then the wit in their banter was more entertaining than others. Then they provided the biggest challenge. Then... well, Villain couldn't deny a sense of warmth when they were around Hero.
They had so much personality, so much energy, but as time passed it felt like they got less so. Villain was almost scared to watch it. Not because it was more fun to fight them, but rather... well, they had to admit to themself they just didn't want to see Hero so thoroughly unhappy. So sapped of life.
Villain took one hand and gently swooped it under Hero's chin, turning their head back to face them and lifting their chin a little. Hero flinched a little, but didn't pull back.
"Hey. Pay attention, sweetie."
Hero's breathing got slightly quicker. Shallower. Starting off subtle, it ramped up.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, hOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT.
The feeling of Villain's hand was the best thing they'd ever felt. In their life. They didn't know anything could be this soft, any temperature could be this comforting and warm, that any grip could be so firm yet gentle, that any gaze could be so powerful yet soft- they were completely hyperventilating, tears welling in their eyes. They didn't want to trust it, but they wanted the comfort too badly to treat this rationally. They'd never felt anything so unbelievably wonderful. They wanted it so, so bad.
Villain couldn't stop themself from gasping. They certainly weren't expecting that reaction, but seeing Hero just break down like that, they were absolutely overcome with the heat of the moment need to just... protect them. Comfort them.
Only a moment later, the two simultaneously fell into an impulsive hug.
Villain squeezed Hero tightly against them as Hero buried their face in Villain's shoulder. Hero completely stopped thinking about their doubts- only one thing mattered right now, and that was Villain. It was so unbelievably comfy, warm, happy, soft, safe... years of built up serotonin was flooding out all at once, and it only got better as Villain brought one hand up from the hug to run it through Hero's hair.
They'd never been this much of an absolute mess. They'd never been this happy in their life.
Villain just continued holding Hero tight.
Minutes passed. Neither wanted the moment to end.
But finally, after what felt like years, Hero's breathing finally began to get deeper again. Villain let out a relived sigh, though didn't quite let go yet, allowing Hero's tears to dry and breathing to fully steady. Villain stayed patient as Hero got calmer and calmer until their desperate squeeze against Villain finally relaxed.
Hero felt the safest they ever had, and Villain couldn't be happier. The idea that they were rivals didn't even cross either of their minds- it just felt so right.
"...How're you feeling?"
Hero answered in a quiet, vulnerable, satisfied whisper, more emotion in their voice than Villain had ever heard.
"...n-needed this."
For the first time in ages, an entirely new focus was on Hero's mind.
A thought?
A worry?
A feeling?
They were certainly leaning towards it being a feeling.
That feeling was love.
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delirious-donna · 7 months ago
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Coffee And A Smoke [Higuruma Hiromi]
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an: another suggestion for Hiromi that I couldn’t pass up. I feel like this has potential for more but I’d really have to do some plotting and brain crunching before I could commit.
pairing: Higuruma Hiromi x female reader
warnings: smoking (is it obvious from this that I don’t smoke and never have? I hope not but…), SFW, very light flirting if you squint, mention of toxic habits, alcohol mention
Masterlist
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Higuruma always felt a pang of sympathy for new starts. They had a habit of reminding him of his earliest days as a freshly qualified lawyer, his excitement to change the world and be the type not to back away from the difficult fights.
For a while, he had been that man and took on David and Goliath level cases to test his resolve, to prove that a person with enough determination and hard work could be the victor. Sadly, it didn’t last long.
He hoped you wouldn’t fall from grace quite so quickly or inelegantly as he had once done. Hiromi might not care for his reputation being tarnished these days, the dross he was tossed like it was a kindness to him, but he would never wish it upon anyone else.
You appeared only a handful of years younger than he was, and he wondered if you were maybe late to the career. It made him wonder how bad your previous line of work might have been to make you consider this circle of hell as your new livelihood. There was more than a chance that he would never know, he didn’t exactly draw people to him in the workplace. Rather he was looked upon mostly like a kicked puppy that everyone felt sorry for but never approached to comfort for fear of catching fleas.
Picking up his pen, the chewed end finding its home between his teeth, Hiromi returned to his work and put you out of his mind.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to the man over in the far corner?” You wondered aloud, the young secretary designated to be your ‘day one buddy’ glanced in the direction you were looking and visibly grimaced.
“Another day. He’s busy,” she countered with a wave of her hand.
Frowning at her dismissive tone and attitude, you looked over again and met with tired, hangdog eyes. He blinked, seeming unperturbed and gave a small bow of his head before turning back to his screen. There was something about this man, you couldn’t for the life of you figure it out, but something intrigued you more than it should.
The interaction did not go unnoticed. “That’s Higuruma Hiromi. He’s rather… particular about the cases he takes. Generally, he keeps to himself.”
You wondered if he was lonely, or maybe not well versed in socialising. Whatever it was, there was an aura surrounding his corner of the large office, like a perpetual rain cloud that threatened to rain but the cloud never burst.
With so much to learn and an entire new work environment to navigate, you quickly forgot all about the mysterious Higuruma and focused on finding your feet.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later did you find yourself in his presence. After a tortuous phone call with a troublesome client, you found yourself in desperate need to indulge in the bad habit you had sworn you’d given up, a cigarette.
Stepping outside into the small office courtyard, you fumbled for the emergency packet buried in the depths of your bag. You cursed when you realised you might have the actual cigarette you craved, but there wasn’t a lighter in sight, not even tucked away in one of the handy dandy compartments.
“Need a light?”
You whirled around and nearly landed on your behind at the sudden voice, coming face to face with Higuruma who had the good grace to look sheepish for scaring you out of your skin.
“It seems so,” you said with a shrug, stepping closer as the man held out his lighter and flicked the flame into life for you. “I don’t smoke often.”
Higuruma hummed in understanding, glancing down at his own half-finished cigarette, tapping away the excess ash. “I’d like to say the same, but I’m out here more often than I’d like.”
That first inhale felt like heaven, the heat in your throat a familiar sensation and you held the thick smoke in your mouth as long as you could manage, finally blowing it out in a steady stream into the sky.
“Bad habit?” You asked, leaning against the metal railing that enclosed the small courtyard space. It was cool even through your trousers, grounding you back into the here and now.
“I have a lot of those, smoking is probably the least bothersome. I can go days without a single cigarette, or I could smoke two packets within a single office day. There never seems to be an in between,” he joked.
It was hard not to appraise him whilst you both stood there, enjoying your respective cigarettes. His shirt wasn’t quite the brilliant white of a new or well cared for garment, nor were the tailored creases in his trousers especially neat or crisp. The tie around his throat was loose as if restless fingers had tugged it that way, and his hair was equally as ruffled. Yet, there was still something undefinable that made you smile at these observations, that endeared him to you.
His eyes were adorned with dark circles from sleepless nights but there was a subtly vibrancy to those eyes. The brown irises with golden flecked in the right light and the smattering of laughter lines at the corners assured you that this was a man who liked to laugh, even if you were yet to hear it in the workplace.
He wore an equally tired smile, however, it brightened when you addressed him directly and you wondered if he thought hi would ignore his presence. If that was maybe what he was used to, and that thought didn’t sit well with you.
“Oh yeah? Let me guess… you enjoy a bottle of wine on most nights?”
“Or two,” he countered, making you laugh.
Honestly, you couldn’t understand why he was considered the black sheep of the firm. From everything you had seen and heard, he wasn’t the money grabbing type and maybe that was the reason for him being a pariah, but that wasn’t a reason to brush him off or avoid him outright.
“Y’know… people will talk if they see you chatting with me.” Higuruma crossed an arm over his chest, a defensive gesture if ever you saw one.
You hummed in thought. Not that you really cared what people had to say about you. “I think I can make my own decisions on who I should and should not speak with. Are you always this cautious?”
“Some might say I have no caution at all.”
“Then why are you trying to warn me off?”
Higuruma’s eyebrows rose into his hairline, a plume of smoke emitted from between his pursed lips to momentarily obscure his face. “Didn’t realise I was under cross-examination. You’ll go far,” he mused before crushing out the remnants of his smoke and bringing out a packet of mints from his pocket.
“I don’t know about that… this career isn’t exactly what I anticipated.”
He waited, sensing there was more you wanted to share, and he had no desire to scare you away or shut you down prematurely. You couldn’t put your finger on the reason why you wanted to confide in him, perhaps you felt some kind of kindred spirit in him but that would be foolish having known him all of five minutes.
“Higuruma, do you fancy a coffee? My treat,” you offered in a rush. Embarrassed by how nervous you were to ask at your big age, and more so worried that he would refuse you flat out.
“I’d like that, but there is something I’d like much more.”
You held your breath, not knowing what he could possibly wish for more. He chuckled at your look of concern, stepping forward to offer you a mint from his pack.
“I’d really like to know your name.”
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wutheringcaterpillar · 8 months ago
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Show Me Off (You Won’t)
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Pairing: College!Aaron x Reader
Summary: Aaron can’t promise you an commitment, never has. Yet you still hold onto hope that maybe one day everything will change. Warnings: some descriptions of smut, modernized!Aaron, fuckboy!Aaron.
He likes kissing me
In his car when it's late and it's dark
It all started out with just a simple match on tinder, back when the semester first started. Aaron Hotchner had been your crush way back in high school, and it just so happened he was going to the same college as you.
You recalled how excited you were, the butterflies mindlessly fluttering in your stomach the first time he asked you over late at night. It was like a dream come true, until it wasn’t. A consistent pattern occurring of “u up?” texts, and him only talking to you when he wanted to have sex.
Now here you were months later, currently parked in the dorm lot, your tongue completely indulged between Aaron’s lips like many other nights. He tasted of cherry and whiskey, his hair a mess from your hand flowing through his hair at the back of his head, pulling him in deeper and deeper, needing more. 
Breaking away, the shadows of people walking in the streetlights reeled him out of the trance you had him in.
Following his eyes, you curled in on yourself, wrapping your arms around your torso, slouching back in the leather seat in defeat, realizing what the problem was. It was the same every-time.
After a moment and they were out of sight, Aaron nodded to the door and you followed his lead. Why you still did, you were unsure. Maybe it was out of hope, hope that this could be more and he’d set aside the stupid college fraternity standards.
Aaron was a popular guy, dated all the cheerleaders, played football, cheated on most of his tests, the complete opposite of yourself, but you saw the good in him, and he was a lot like you. He read books, wrote journals, taken an interest in charities, but none of his peers knew that side of him and that’s how he wanted it, how he needed it to be. Regardless of the profound feelings you’d developed for him.
“C’mon, pretty girl. Let’s go inside.” He smirked cooly at you, causing your cheeks to burn a rosey shade of red when he called you pretty. Only thing was you wanted to be his pretty girl.
He likes holding me
In his bed, shut the door, turn the lock
His roommate was out of town visiting family, but he locked his bedroom door just in case before closing the blinds, stripping himself of his clothes. He noticed the silence in you, that frown you wore when you were upset, but he’d play it off like it was nothing because he knew at the end of the day you’d be back in his bed, sneaking in and out. All he wanted was a quick fuck with a pretty girl, and you were it. No strings attached the way he wanted it.
“You alright?” You simply nodded, a small smile finally appearing once he jumped in the bed, immediately peppering you with kisses as he tickled your sides, trying to make you laugh.
When his lips reached that sweet spot in the crook of your neck, you found yourself once again becoming desperate to have him inside you. 
Aligning his hardened member with your dripping hole, he thrusted up, your inner walls devouring him sweetly. 
He cracked a joke about how eager you were, and finished within ten minutes, pulling out and releasing his seed on your stomach, just like the times before. He’d kiss you goodnight, and pull you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. 
This wasn’t the first night you stayed up after he fell asleep, wondering and desperately wishing for him to just reciprocate your feelings. 
He'll say I'm pretty outside the bar
Then I'm just a stranger when we walk in
I want a witness, I want a garden
He wants the blinds drawn, he wants a fence
You were tired of being just the girl he casually fucked. It was killing you inside, your heart ached whenever you saw him hanging out, touchy with other girls. The numerous times you noticed he was active but hadn’t responded to you all day. You wanted to express your feelings without driving him away. 
What were you supposed to feel? How could he not feel more, want more, a relationship at that?
You stayed up staring at his shallow breathing, brushing his cheek lightly with the palms of your hand just staring at his beauty, trying to figure him out but you didn’t give up hope, not yet.
After a moment, you curled your legs around him, holding him closely to your heart.
“Hmm..” He hummed in his sleep, the member in his pants hardening once more. 
“Round two?” He spoke sleepily. A quiet giggle escaped your lips before going under the sheets.
You just hadn’t quite made the connection entirely yet that each intimate moment shared with him was leaving you more in a mess, making it harder to leave each time.
I know when the sun is up
I know when tomorrow comes
I know when my clothes are on
He'll never show me off
Awaking from your deep slumber, you wiped at your eyes, glancing over to Aaron’s side of the bed, unsurprised yet disappointed he wasn’t there next to you. He’d never kiss you goodbye, or say he was leaving, it was almost like a routine now for you to gather your belongings and sneak out the back window to walk to your dorm. Occasionally stopping for a coffee or just to sit down in a cafe. The profound feelings for him always found a way to creep back in, like a stranger breaking into a house only it was Aaron breaking in and tearing your heart a part.
At mid day, you were sat at the library, seated by the window with your coffee when Aaron walked in with a few of his friends. You glanced up at him in his leather jacket and blue jeans, attempting to wave a coy ‘hello’ to him to which he disregarded. You pulled your sleeves down, frowning insecurely before gathering your things and leaving to go cry painful tears in your car.
All it ever was, was a glance and him chattering on with his friends, which hurt you, shattered your heart.
You’d sit up waiting and waiting every night for him to text you. It was a vicious cycle that was playing with your head. Your mind was telling you to stop and leave but your heart wasn’t allowing any such thing. Even when you felt like things were progressing, or one step closer to becoming official, he’d go radio silent.
Not on a busy street
Not where anyone could see
Does he know it's killing me?
He'll never show me off
That night he texted you continuously. After you didn’t respond to the normal “u up?” text, he apologized over and over again, anything to get you back in his bed.
“Babeee”
“Come over, I miss you.” Your efforts to ignore him went down the drain when he said he missed you. After rolling around in many different positions in your bed, you found yourself packing an overnight bag and responding to him.
Standing at his door way
And I'm hopin' everything will change this time
Pulling into the drive, a whirlwind of emotions struck you like lightning in a treacherous storm. What if you were just hurting yourself more, ruining a true love with somebody else, wasting your time on Aaron Hotchner once more. 
Hanging your head in your shaking hands, tears brimmed at your eyelids as you questioned what in the hell you were doing back here. 
Gathering your belongings, wiping the astray tears away, you checked yourself in the mirror to ensure you looked well enough out together before exiting the car.
The warm summer breeze swam through your hair, as you approached his door, arms locking together around your torso. 
Upon Aaron opening the door, he didn’t quiet you like once before, maybe there was a small light at the end of the slowly dimming tunnel of hope.
His pearly white smile, and the way his white tanktop hung tightly around his chest, his voice sounding of pure ivory and silk, with a hint of playfulness when he spoke.
“There’s my girl!” In a swift movement, his arms hung, draping beneath your thighs as he picked you up spinning you around causing your bag to drop down to the concrete, taking you by surprise.
You giggled gleefuly, breathing in his strong mint scent as you nuzzled into the warmth of his neck, blushing profusely. In that moment everything just seemed like water under the bridge.
“I missed you so much, I’m so sorry about today. I really am Y/N.” The tone of his voice sounded caring, almost painfully as if he truly was sorry this time. Slowly dropping you down, his tall figure, and beading brown eyes searched yours before leaning down and connecting his lips to yours, hand settling on the side of your cheek, as he poured his heart and soul into every part of you, tongue delving further and further with each passing second.
Time was irrelevant in that moment, all your worries washed away like a tidal wave, his lips the smooth sand, softening with each landing on the shore of your lips.
Pulling away, he settled his forehead against yours, when the cloud rolled in pouring drizzling drops of rain on your head. Laughing, he shielded your temple, picking up your bag and swaying you inside.
Upon entering the dorm, beer bottles, and open packs of cigarettes lay astray, yet his roommate still wasn’t here, or anyone for that matter.
“I hope you don’t mind the mess. Brandon went on vacation with his family, won’t be back for about a week. So I figured why not enjoy it while we can.” Oh, so that’s all this was? Things haven’t changed then. Hiding your frown, not wanting to have another argument about this, you attempted at a small smile before following behind him to his bedroom, acting as if you were okay.
I like how it sounds
When he sings to himself in the shower
I like how he looks
When the sun hits him at golden hour
Awakening the following morning, tangled up in the sheets he was still next you, actually awake, staring at you with immense interest while he gently combed your hair. “Did anyone ever tell you, you look quite adorable when you’re sleeping, even when you’re snoring.” There was that glimmer of hope again, because something new happened. He’d never stay and wait for you to wake up. Embarrassed by your snoring, you gripped the sheets, pulling the thin fabric over your face only for Aaron to now allow it. His fingers roaming near you, tickling your sides profusely as you laughed and giggled. 
“Have you been watching me this whole time?” Aaron grinned, hand coming up to cup your chin before placing a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. “How could I not with how cute you are?”
After a moment of silence he suggested a shower, to which you happily obliged. 
Watching him removed his shirt, the sun peered in, his skin glowing from the light, illuminating his muscular features.
Turning on the water, he motioned for you to join him, pulling you in swiftly by your hips, before he began to sing. He was a terrible singer but it was adorable to see him try. Things really felt like maybe the pieces were slowly falling into place.
I say I like when we're late night talking
Then he goes quiet, won't let me in
I want a witness, he's staying guarded
He wants the blinds drawn, I just want him
The night continued on smoothly, he even took you to see a film you’d been talking of for months, thought it was odd that the theater was an hour away when there was one just around the corner from the school.
But any thoughts washed away when he made love to you in the backseat of the car in a parking lot of an abandoned building.
Now here you were sitting at a table playing cards with him, slightly tipsy from the liquor run you made on the way.
The night was going swimmingly and he really opened up. Talking of his interests, hobbies, even some family stories, the most you’ve ever gotten out of him in one sitting. That’s when the feelings bubbled back up in your stomach, needing to know if there was a possibility for more.
“Go fish.” When you didn’t grab another card, he waved his hand in your face playfully.
“Helloooo, earth to Y/N. Something on your mind?” He took a drink from his beer, glancing down at his phone and clearing a notification from what looked like to be a girl named Jessica
“What’re we doing Aaron?” When he looked back up, you sat there solemnly with a quizzical, hurting expression on your face.
“Well I’m waiting on you to take your turn.” He laughed softly, setting his beer down on the table and putting his phone in his pocket.
“Why can’t we date? I mean you’ve really opened up to me. I’m here almost every other night and you know how I feel about you.” His lips pressed firmly together as he cracked open another beer, suddenly not being able to connect his eyes to yours.
Pushing the chair back, you flailed your arms, trying to hold back from crying.
“Why!? Tell me why? I have been nothing but good to you. Every night you- you text me, you’ve been vulnerable, loving, and then when the next day comes, nothing! You give me nothing while i’m left hanging like a thin string in the wind, consumed by my love for you! Why won’t you just let me in.” Your voice cracked, fragility holding onto every word. His eyebrows raised in surprise. 
“Y/N. I think you should go. You knew from the start I didn’t want a relationship.” 
“Oh that’s rich coming from you. It really is.” You picked up the beer, finishing off what was left before slamming the glass bottle back down onto the table and making your way to his room to gather your things. 
Making your way to the door, the tears started to flow and you glanced back over to him, still sitting there lighting a cigarette, completely unbothered.
“Did any of those nights mean anything to you? Anything at all?” Watching him with intent, pained eyes. He still didn’t talk, just continued to smoke, wouldn’t even look in your general direction, it was like you weren’t even there.
Your heart was breaking in half while your hand turned the doorknob in disbelief.
“Don’t attempt to contact me ever again. I will not keep going through this emotional turmoil with you. You broke my heart Aaron Hotchner. I just hope someday you come to the realization it doesn’t matter what other people think, the realization to grow up and be a good man. Not one that toys with a woman’s heart.” Slamming the door you left, walking to your dorm crying, still trying to comprehend that you’d no longer see Aaron anymore, and the thought of him with another woman killed you but this was for the best. Even if it meant losing the man you loved, but did you ever really have him?
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e-dubbc11 · 3 months ago
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Scars
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Mentions of childhood trauma, attempted kidnapping, fluff, smooches
Word Count: 1.8K-ish
Summary: Billy comes home while you’re taking a nap, he notices a scar on your ankle and wants to know the story of where it came from
A/N: I found this idea online somewhere. I needed a little help with new ideas and this caught my eye. I hope you like it!
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The weather outside your window changed quickly from the early afternoon sun immersing the surrounding buildings in its warm light to it disappearing behind the fast moving gray clouds that swallowed up the bright blue sky.
“Where did the sunshine go?” You said out loud to yourself from your penthouse perch, gazing down at the busy city below.
This time of year could be quite unpredictable as far as the weather goes. Late summer was still very hot, sometimes less humid, and could get a little cool at night into the early morning. But also the sun could be blazing in the sky one minute and the next time you looked outside, your once blue sky was now fully covered in dull gray clouds, ready to rain down on top of you.
And then you heard it, the sound of light rain tapping against the window as you gathered everything you needed to give yourself a relaxing home pedicure. You had the bubbling and warming foot spa, the lavender bath salts, moisturizing lotion, and all of the tools you needed.
Soaking your feet after a long day at work felt wonderful. The hot water bubbled under the balls of your feet, massaging away the stress of your day. As you inhaled sharply and let out a forceful exhale, your shoulders relaxed and your eyes closed, tuning everything out except the rhythmic sound of your own heartbeat in your ears.
Hopefully, you will be finished before Billy comes home.
**********
Faintly, you could hear the rain drumming against the roof. Earlier, that sound had lulled you to sleep and it was also the first thing you heard as you were starting to stir. After painting your nails, you told yourself you were just going to close your eyes for a minute while they were drying.
An hour later, you didn’t even hear Billy come home.
The strong scent of nail polish hung in the air as he walked through the door. Billy called out to you but you didn’t hear him.
“Baby?” He said softly.
No answer.
Meticulously, Billy put his things away…his keys, jacket, gun. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt sleeves so he could roll them up to his elbows. He followed the scent of nail polish to your shared bedroom and paused in the doorway to briefly watch you while you slept.
Outside, the sky was gloomy and overcast but inside you were his bright spot. You were the warm afternoon sun that danced across his face and made him smile after his dismal ride home.
Billy carefully walked over to the bed, looked at your newly painted toes and smiled because you had painted them black, his favorite. They shined like patent leather even in the dimly lit room. Your hands were resting on your stomach and he watched as your chest rose and fell gently with every breath you took.
He committed to memory the way you looked at that moment, the soft comfortable shorts you were wearing, his hoodie that you constantly stole from him to keep your arms warm, and he loved the peaceful look you had on your face while you slept.
When he looked closely at your ankle, he spotted a triangle shaped scar that he had never noticed before. Billy thought he had memorized every inch of your body but he didn’t remember if you had ever mentioned how you got that one.
Reaching for you with his agile fingers, he lightly and slowly traced the outline of your scar, while desperately trying not to wake you. Billy had a very light touch but between the rain and the slight tickle you felt on your ankle, your eyes gradually fluttered open.
A sly smile stretched across your lips as you looked down and saw him tracing the scar on your ankle.
“Whatcha doin’, handsome?” You asked.
Before turning his head to look at you, Billy smiled and replied, “I was admiring your fresh pedicure when I noticed this scar and I don’t know what it’s from, I thought I knew every mark on your body. Why don’t I know about this one?”
Billy’s tone was somber and his lips pulled back over his teeth like he was upset that he didn’t know all about your scar.
“It’s just an old bicycle injury, Billy. It’s not a big deal.” You replied and shrugged at the same time as you tried to conceal how nervous you were.
Billy brought his gaze up to yours, his endless brown eyes looked like two black ink wells and the muscles in his jaw tensed when he asked about the scar.
“Tell me, my love.” He said with an uncomfortable smile, almost like he knew it wasn’t JUST an old bicycle injury.
“Billy, I don’t know—“ You had started to say before he interrupted you.
“Just tell me what happened, sweet girl.” He said calmly. “It’s ok.”
Trying to smile, you sat upright in bed with your back resting on the headboard. It had been a long time since you had thought about that day.
It was around this time of year, late summer, the sun was high in the sky so it had to have been around lunchtime or a little after when you were outside playing with your brother and your cousin. You were probably around 11 and the three of you were getting ready to ride your bikes back home from the park where you were playing.
You were the oldest, it was your job to watch out for the younger ones, so you let them ride up ahead of you. Once they had turned onto your street, you felt immense relief that you were almost home and that’s when you sensed a car slowly pull up behind you.
And then you heard that voice.
“Hey sweetheart, you lost? Anyone ever tell you how pretty you are?” He had said with an evil smile.
“Pretty…” Billy hated that word. As you looked over at him, he had clenched his fist, his face was flushed with rage, while he gripped the blanket on the bed so tight that you thought he may rip it.
You couldn’t recall what the man looked like when he called out to you but you do remember his voice. It sounded like he did nothing but smoke cigarettes all day, it was deep, scratchy and made your skin crawl, like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Nervously shaking your head, you said, “No, I’m fine.”
Your heart was leaping out of your chest and you felt the sweat on your brow about to trickle down your forehead when you decided to make a run for it. When you forcefully pushed down on the bike pedal, your foot slipped and you ended up slicing your ankle on the jagged teeth of the pedal which is when another man jumped from the car and tried to grab you.
But you managed to pedal as fast as you could to catch up to your brother and your cousin who were waiting for you around the corner from where the man tried to grab you.
They didn’t follow you and you never saw them again but the memory always came back when the scent of clove cigarettes was in the air, or heard a deep raspy male voice, or felt someone walking behind you.
It was something from your childhood that you never spoke of again until now, not even to your brother or your cousin who were with you that day. And you’ve been looking over your shoulder ever since.
Knowing what Billy had been through as a young child, your entire body tensed watching him seethe with anger. His cheeks were flushed and you could hear him grinding his teeth while still tightly gripping the blanket in between his fingers.
“Billy? Say something, please.” You said, breaking the silence.
He gently kissed the scar on your ankle and crawled from the foot of the bed up to you, pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. His heartbeat pounded against your ear as you melted into his arms and closed your eyes.
“You don’t look over your shoulder when you’re with me, baby.” He said in a slightly confused tone.
You pulled away to snake your arms around his neck and look into his eyes.
With a warm smile, you replied, “Being with you is the ONLY time I don’t look over my shoulder, Billy. Because I know they’d have to get through you to get to me.”
Billy gently pressed his lips to yours which tasted like peppermint. His shoulders relaxed a little as he smiled back and said, “I’ll never let anything happen to you, sweet girl. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”
After finally telling someone your secret, the weight of that secret had finally been removed from your chest and you could breathe a little easier now. Your terrifying childhood experience that had been kept inside all of these years was finally out in the open but you were ok with it.
“I love you.” You said in barely more than a whisper as your eyes welled up with tears. “So much, Billy.”
Billy just smiled, lightly brushed his knuckles against your cheek, and kissed you again before saying, “I love you too, sweet girl. And I’ll pay to have that scar removed, just say the word and it will be gone.”
In that moment, you felt so loved, so seen, and understood. All he wanted to do was make sure you were happy, that you were ok, and he would do anything for you to make that happen, even going as far as paying to have your scar removed.
“Oh Billy…that’s so sweet. But my bike probably saved my life, and yes, looking at that scar reminds me of that day but I’m very thankful for that bicycle and the mark it left on me…literally.” You said, trying to smile. “Thank you, my love.”
Although your experience wasn’t the same as Billy’s, he knew it could have been so much worse for you than it was but that didn’t make him any less angry about it. Your only wish was that he had been able to escape his worst nightmare also.
He knew what kind of real life monsters existed in this world and that he may never have had the chance to meet you if they had taken you. You were the person that understood him the most and loved him for exactly who he was. He didn’t even want to think about what his life would be like without you…but he’d never have to.
“Well, if you ever change your mind…” Said Billy, pulling you tight to his chest again.
You would always be there for each other, for love, comfort, or just to listen.
Relaxing into his embrace, you kissed him on the neck, and said with a smile, “I know, baby…I know.”
It felt good to finally let go.
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