#this is a blog for fantasy bitches and reading daydreams

[noteguk]

DELIVERING BABIES!!! DAMN WE GOT A WHOLE ASS DOCTORRRRR!!! but fr congratulations on your academic achievements that's awesome! and I'm sorry to hear about the passing in your family, my condolences to you and your family.

All that matters is you're here in 2023 with us, and may it bless you in abundance with only the best✨️🫂

Thank you!!! And I actually found out that I really like the babies but I’m NOT made to be an obgyn… it was a nice experience but I’ll pass thanks 🫠

Wishing you the best too ♥️♥️♥️

[a-shy-blueberry]

Springtime's a Bitch

A/N: Soooo I know it's not spring anymore but I've been wanting to write this for forever especially since Hawks is one of my favorite characters. I sort of just put like a bunch kinks into one thing and it lost control. Please enjoy this smutty mess.

Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x F! Reader

Genre: Smut; Fluff

Summary: In which 1 shitty vibrator, and the season of spring get two extremely horny people together.

Warnings: No Beta, Swearing, Corruption Kink, Pre-Rut Keigo, Oral F!Receiving & M!Receiving, Pervy Keigo (in secret), Panty Stealing, Panty Sniffing, Masturbation, Some Mild Predator/Prey Dynamics, Cum Eating, Dacryphilia, Over-stimulation, Breeding Kink, Inappropriate Quirk Use, Creampie (wrap it before you tap it!!), discussions of Birth Control, discussions about Pregnancy, +18 only, Minors, Ageless Blogs, DNI!!

Word Count: 4.7k

Taglist: @katonshoko​; @silentnotifs​; @touyas-peach​

Want to be tagged in future works? Click here

Or if you prefer, read it on my ao3 here

You had always said you wanted a hot roommate.

You bemoaned about it, over and over as a line of shitty roommates made your life a living hell.

It'd be a dream, close quarters, building tensions, a budding friendship that turns romantic. Someone to fall for that sees you in your most comfortable environment and loves you anyways. You might've been reading too much but it sounded like the perfect fantasy.

Granted you were just asking for a hot roommate, not that it meant they'd reciprocate any attraction for you but at least if they were going to be terrible, they could be pretty to look at.

Reality ended up being far more disastrous.

Keigo had by all means been a pretty stand-up roommate, certainly league's away from anything you were used to. More than capable of covering his half of expenses, barely ever at the apartment due to his busy schedule, but personable enough that the two of you got along despite the limited time together. Really there was only one teeny… tiny… problem… You were completely down bad for your roommate.

"Good morning chickadee, how'd ya sleep," Keigo asked, already fully conscious. That bastard.

"Shhhhh, no talking, only coffee," you whispered, eyes still barely open from sleep as you walked over to the coffee maker. Holding a finger up till you poured your coffee. Waiting until you had had two sips before you put it down. Keigo just watched you, a bemused smirk on his face as you squinted around, nose twitching at the smell of what he was cooking.

"Is that food I smell," your sleepy face already lighting up at the thought of breakfast.

"Why it is, my sleepy bird, go sit down and I'll serve us up some. You waddled over to the table, taking a seat as you watched him cook. Brain finally awake enough to process the scene before you.

How the fuck did he managed to look so nice rolling right out of bed? He was wearing nothing but a pair of sweats hung low on his hips, hair still half-wild from sleep. You started to imagine what it'd be like to wake up together, all cuddled up in each other's arms. Having lazy Sundays where you make breakfast together, the sweet gesture of this morning already twisting in your mind into your little daydream. He was just so easy to get along with, and the fucking definition of sex on a stick.

More than once you were sure he'd caught you drooling when he'd bum around the house in sweats. And today you were trying desperately to make your observations seem more like excitement for food than anything else. You were terrible. Thankfully your thoughts were drawn to the food.

Breakfast ended up being delicious, nothing too fancy as neither of you could cook for shit but it was a lovely moment, one you immensely enjoyed. Too bad when a certain season came by, everything changed dramatically.

Springtime was usually awful for you. Everyone was out and about in love or finding new partners. Meet-cutes and storybook first dates seemed to invade your consciousness. But the absolute worst part was that you were horny as fuck. Your vibrator needed to be charged pretty much 24/7 now and you were honestly starting to worry you'd burn it out but you needed a fix and while there were other, chiseled, blonde, golden-eyed solutions you were eyeing they weren't exactly viable unless you desired melting into a puddle of goo the second you started muttering to him.

Not that you'd even have the chance to ask him, your roommate had been conveniently absent. You were starting to think he was avoiding you, conveniently missing each other in the morning, and he didn't come home until well after you were asleep. While this did allow a bit of ease to your mind during certain sessions you had, even for him this was a lot. Had he figured out your little crush, yeah you had stared some but other than that

It wasn't as though you were too obvious, or expected anything, you'd be fully prepared to keep this secret with you till your grave

Honestly, you were starting to miss him. It was all the little things, like when he would swing by and pick up fried chicken for the two of you, or chilling and watching a movie together, poking fun at cheesy moments or, laughing at silly dialogue. As of late, it felt like the two of you were getting closer, late-night chats while sprawled out in the living room as you talked about things that you didn't share with anybody. Things that made your infatuation, and your guilt grow.

It was getting to the point where just the scent of him calmed you down, you'd sleep in a hoodie he had loaned you one night, desperately clinging to the scent, spraying it with the cologne he kept in the bathroom to make it last longer. Little did you know your roommate was facing a similar problem.

Springtime had never been a particularly enjoyable season for Keigo. Ever since puberty he'd spend several weeks so turned on he couldn't even think straight. Then the worst would hit. A week locked in his room pounding into his fist, desperate to release some of the tension to no relief. Desperate and thoughts stuck on baser instincts.

He'd heard of other mutant quirks developing hyper fixations. People they were close to, or that they had liked, suddenly switched to being an object of desire. They were hunted down, seduced, or in more desperate circumstances, begged and pleaded with. Their quirk convincing them that they couldn't get relief without them.

Hawks should've known better than to let you move in. The first time he'd met you, your soft smile and nervous energy just made you seem so cute. And when you finally grew comfortable with him, showing off the little sparks to your personality, your sense of humor, and your genuine heart. He fell hard. There was this soft innocence to you, the way you were so shy with him every time he went without a shirt or wore just his bodysuit. You wouldn't meet his eyes, hiding your face behind your hands, turning into a stumbling mess when you tried to talk to him. It made him want to corrupt you.

He wanted to watch as your eyes widened in surprise as he went down on that sweet pussy he knew you had, thighs trembling and legs jerking because you didn't know what to do when faced with such pleasure. Tasting your essence and drinking it straight from the source as you tighten your thighs around him. Circling your tender bud with his tongue over and over, taking soft gentle strokes as you curl your fingers in his hair to keep him there.  Then working open your tight hole with his finger till he could wedge himself in.

God, he felt like such a perv. You were a sweetheart, completely lost in a naive crush. Unaware of what he felt just on a regular day, but with his rut fast approaching, his thoughts were more and more drawn to you, getting dirtier as the date drew near. He was becoming obsessed. Waltzing into your room when you were gone to raid your dirty clothes hamper, desperate to have something that smelled like you. A white cotton panty being a particular favorite for the ever permanent visible wet patch, disgusted at himself but he couldn't help bringing them to his nose to smell, licking the little patch trying to get a taste of you before he wrapped them around his cock, imagining it was you instead. About how your panties got wet. Picturing you getting soaked when he teased you. Maybe humping the heel of your hand, desperate for some kind of friction on your neglected cunt. That always brought himself to completion embarrassingly fast. Shamefully rinsing out his cum in the bathtub, so you wouldn't find out when you washed them.

He wasn't sure how he would survive his rut without you realizing his feelings, he'd have to get a hotel. Somewhere just away from you, before it hit bad and he lost all pride and begged you. Even dodging interactions with you all week only seemed to make your effect more potent. Watching you curled up on the couch in his sweatshirt, the holes in the back cut out for his wings demonstrating the lack of clothing underneath. He almost woke you up then. Yes definitely a hotel, he still had time, before it started in earnest. Maybe get you and a friend tickets to somewhere fun and far far away. Though the idea of you being with someone else made the feral part of his brain irrationally angry.

Definitely needed a hotel.

2 Days Later

In the end, unlike anything you'd ever expected, it had been your vibrator to betray you.

You had been extra tense, two days of near-constant contact with your roommate had put you on edge, he actually cuddled you, drawing you into his lap to hold while you watched a movie as if it was perfectly normal to cuddle with one's completely platonic roommate, whining every time you tried to move away. Calling you a wide array of bird-themed pet names (more than normal), bringing you food in bed, and insisting you rest when you felt absolutely fine. It was as though he'd gone into full protection mode. You couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Which led to your current situation: vibrator in hand circling your clit as you desperately tried to get off to anything other than the roommate occupying your mind. You tried a steamy book; still couldn't, guided audios; you just kept imagining what it'd be like to hear his voice saying those things to you instead, and finally just straight up porn but every video you clicked on caused you to wonder what he would look like, the faces he'd make. After an hour of edging yourself, you'd managed to get close, right when the bastard betrayed you.

It died.

At this point, you were tensed up, the last remnants of your build-up fading away but the tension was still there, desperately seeking an outlet. All in all you were pretty freaking determined to cum.

Which is how you ended up leaving your room in just a tee, looking for batteries that thankfully the device let you use as a backup power option… right when a rather wound-up birdie was making his way in.

Keigo was going to be home late that night, one final shift before he locked himself away, a good 2 days earlier than necessary just as a precaution, but he was already suffering for it.

He hadn't been as careful as he should've, spending extra time with you before he had to leave, trying to drown himself in your scent, the way you felt, the weight of you on top of him, just absorbing as much of you as he could.

He knew it was feeding into his delusions but you were so soft. He just wanted to feel all of you, all around him, in his arms, underneath him, anything. He couldn't ruin someone so innocent with something as intense as a rut but dammit he was going to get to hold you if he could.

Keigo landed on the balcony of your guy's apartment, already removing most of his uniform, leaving just his pants unbuttoned and his bodysuit on, fully prepared to sneak to his room and finish up what little was left to pack before his rut. Maybe yank one out since he was already tense. What he had not expected was to find you bent over, rummaging in one of the bottom drawers and wearing nothing but a loose tee.

It was the smell of your arousal, combined with the view of your cunt all swollen with need that snapped all rational thought out of his brain.

Eyes narrowing and wings puffing up behind him. Keigo stepped silently to approach you, stalking his prey to ensure you couldn't escape. 

He waited till he was right behind you to speak."Whatcha doing my little chickadee," God the scent of you alone was killing him, he was still a few days out, and yet, you alone were enough to drive him mad.

When he spoke you jumped straight up only for him to grab you and spin you towards him. When you turned you could see him, eyes slit, breath ragged as he hunched over you. The dim lighting couldn't hide the way his feathers kept fluttering from the base to the tips of his wingspan. He looked half-crazed.

"Keigo? Are you okay?" His whole body shuddered when you said his name.

"Baby bird, what are you doing to me," his voice was deep and raspy, how could you use that sweet tone with him when you were completely bare to him. His hands trailed from your waist to play with the edge of your tee, making you squeeze your thighs. Suddenly you remembered your lack of bottoms, untangling yourself from his arms.

"Oh shit! I am so sorry," your apology pouring off of you, "It's just that I had to grab something and I didn't think you'd be home yet, especially since you're normally home so late. So I didn't bother putting anything on, and that's probably the last thing you want to see when you come home," Keigo interrupted your rambling.

"Last thing I want to see?" He started.

"Last thing, baby bird you don't know what I think of you, look at me!!," he gestured down to his crotch where a very obvious tent was forming.

"Last thing I want to see, do you know what I picture every single night, jacking off to my fist only to be presented with that sight right as I walk in through the door, already wet with need."

"I'm this close to kneeling before you and begging you,"

Your face felt like it was on fire, your thighs clenching so tightly together your knees were starting to feel numb. Your clit is throbbing already annoyed with the insufficient attention from earlier. The gears in your fuddled mind click together, and you sound quite unlike yourself when you start to speak. Voice still quiet from the shock of everything.

"Beg?" you question.

Keigo drops immediately, eyes blown wide with lust as he mewls out praises, begging and pleading with you. "Please baby bird, please let me, I wanna lick your cunt so bad, I want to make you feel so good please just let me fuck you, feel you all around me," You're dripping with need as you slowly make your way over to him.

You can't believe this is your Keigo, he was always so self-assured, so unattainable, and yet he's here, for you. Desiring you.

"I want you... t- to make me cum" you stutter out and like a flash, Keigo has you clear across the room, your back to the wall, one leg flung over his shoulder as he starts lapping at your cunt. Shallow strokes across your slit to prepare you before he starts in earnest. Circling your clit, moving down to your hole, and thrusting with his tongue. Shoving his whole face in so you can feel his nose rubbing perfectly against your clit.

God the taste of you was more than he had ever dreamed up, lapping up your essence. He flattens his tongue into a point, entering you, groaning into you as the tight ring of muscles around your hole tries to draw him in further.

You worry he's going to suffocate himself between your legs when he pulls back, smirking at you, your slick evident around his mouth and dripping down his chin, you go to clench your thighs again but he easily bats them away, lifting your other leg over his shoulder, allowing him to fully press his face to your core. Making you completely reliant on him and the wall for balance, diving in once more, adding a finger, carefully stretching you out and circling your clit before sucking it into his mouth, lightly grazing it with his teeth and his lips close around you and he sucks hard. You scream, hips bucking against his face as you curl your fingers in his hair, riding his face as you desperately use him for pleasure. Keigo moans into your cunt, as you chase your high, adding another finger and speeding up to time with your hips. He curls them, pressing into that deliciously gummy spot, and gives a hard suck to your clit sending your vision black as you fall apart on his tongue.

He continues to work you through your orgasm gently suckling on your clit still in his mouth, and fingers fully seated in your cunt and you flutter around them, pulling them in deeper.

Keigo gently removes both your legs, holding onto your hips to brace you on unsteady legs. He stood up himself and you loop your arms around his neck, still drunk from your orgasm. Pulling his head to years and kissing him deeply, tasting yourself from his mouth. Breaking your kiss, Keigo lifts you, putting his arm under your knees and carrying you to his room. Dropping you on his bed without ceremony. You giggle as you bounce on the mattress, limbs askew.

Staring at the sight of you, eyes blown wide and positively wrecked already, just from his tongue.

"Are you on anything?" He asked. You nodded and replied.

"I've got an IUD and I'm clean if you are and wanna...," you trail off, he groans at that and nodded. 

"Fuck," he breathes "Yeah I'm clean," Keigo dropping his pants to the floor, unzipping and removing his bodysuit.

When you see all of him, your mouth runs dry. Golden hair trailing down to the prettiest dick you'd ever laid eyes on, nothing too big or too long, in the perfect shade of pink, the tip already a little angry and red, pre pooling at the tip, and a singular vein running there to the base. The blonde hair around him, all trimmed and nicely maintained. But the most noticeable feature was how active it was, bobbing for attention, quite in character for the active hero. How could all of him just be insanely pretty?

"Close your mouth sweetheart," You snapped your mouth shut, crawling towards him on the bed, gently you reached out trailing the single vein from the base up to the tip, gathering up the precum and circling it around the head, playing with his slit, sliding down the shaft. Removing your hand you grabbed his hand tugging him onto the bed, and flipping him under you. You caged him in your arms. Letting your saliva pool, letting it drip all over his cock. You sit back for a moment to remove your shirt then bend down, curving your back and putting your ass on display as you blew lightly just on the tip.

Keigo took a sharp breath, hips thrusting upwards. You pin him down, cooing at him as you sit up and take him in hand, spreading the mess of pre and spit over his length. Working him up till he can't control the jerky movements any longer. You remove your hand and bend down, licking the base of cock. Bringing your hand back to fondle his balls as you work your way up.

"Hnng, fuck angel," Keigo moans as you begin to swallow, taking short thrusts at first till he's lubed up enough to deep throat. You immediately feel the burning stretch in your throat, gagging a little as you pull off, Keigo's hand threaded in your hair as he works you back down over his cock. Holding you as your nose tickles his happy trail and you gag once, releasing you after a moment so you can catch your breath. His breathing is sporadic, his movements getting more and more jerky.

"Fuck angel I'm so close, just a little more," you go down again and Keigo takes you with both hands, you relax your jaw and he starts thrusting up into your throat. When his hips begin to stutter he pulls you off sitting up and giving his dick a few tugs.

"Open your mouth," he commands and you comply, just as cum hits the back of your throat, spraying all over your face.

When he's done, you swallow what's in your mouth and lick off what is left on your face. You make a move to leave the bed to wipe off what's left on your tits when Keigo grabs you, leaning down to lick the remains of his cum off your chest. He begins moaning as he sucks your breast, fondling your ass already working himself and you up again.

"Gonna breed this pussy so good, Fill you up, stuff you full of my cum, make you mine, my little dove," he watched your pupils dilate, toes already curling.

“Hmm did you like that dove, like when I talk about filling you up when I call you mine?" You let out a breathy moan, he begins squeezing your asscheek, kneading it till he moves his hand, and a resounding smack lands against your cheek. You jump closer to him, falling into his arms. He scoots the two of you back so he's leaning with his back against the headboard and you're sitting in his lap, gripping onto his shoulders. When he lifts you, you hover yourself over his dick as he plays with the tip, circling your clit, and then swiping it up and down your slit, entering with just the tip in and then removing it and starting the whole process over again.

"Oh baby bird I can feel you trying to bring me in, you're so tight already," you moan at this as he pulls out yet again. Your hips are wriggling desperately now, trying to catch him.

"Kei, please," you beg "I need more,"

"Does my songbird want more? Do you want more cum? Wanna be my little breeding bitch? You're crying now, so close as he stimulates your clit, desperate for just a little more. Your cunt feels so empty as your clit pulses. Keigo just kisses your tears.

"Is my little sweetheart crying, do you need more," he asks, a sadistic smirk as he switches to agonizingly slow strokes through the lips of your pussy. You can feel it coming.

"Please Keigo!" You cry out, "I'm so close," you cant your hips, and this time he enters you, slamming your hips together bouncing you on his cock as he thrusts up into you.

"Shit angel, you feel so good," your cunt is like a vice grip on his dick, so warm and your inner muscles fluttering against him with how close you are.

"Baby bird, please tell me you're close," he begs, and you nodded sharply, little moans and gasps being the only thing escaping your mouth.

 He won't last long like this. He speeds up, using his grip on your hips as he speeds up his thrusts into you, you grind down, meeting him there, both of you growing close, your nails digging into his shoulders, as you chase your high. He brings one hand down circling your clit.

"Cum for me angel," you squeeze your inner muscles and let go right at that moment, falling, stars bursting behind your eyes. The feeling of you coming undone sends Keigo over the edge, hips sputtering, coating your inner walls with ropes of cum.

Immediately after Keigo pulls out, he flips you, laying with your back against the soft sheets of his bed and he goes to enter you again. You try to wriggle away, overstimulated but Keigo grips onto you.

"Gonna fuck you till I'm empty alright," he growls and you nod. Dissatisfied with your response he stops, "Are you okay with that?"

"Yes sir," God you were perfect. He enters you and begins trusting, pounding you into the mattress, the bed frame protesting. You could feel your whole body shaking with each thrust, fast and deep. Commanding a feather, Keigo places it at your clit, vibrating it against the oversensitive bud. You're sobbing at this point, everything is so much but you're so desperate for release, focusing on the sensations on your clit, feeling your relief hurdle towards the edge when you release all over the two of you without warning. Keigo getting lost in the feeling of you quivering around him, tears streaming down your face. He continues his brutal fast, till he's sputtering against you, filling you up again.

He stays there for a bit, as he comes down, dick finally softening as he lays against your chest. Whispering soft praises into your hair. You cuddle there, bodies still connected as you come back down to earth.

He waits till you're present to pull out and the sight of his cum dripping out of you has him captivated. He reaches two fingers out pushing it back in, over and over, hypnotized.

"Kei we need to go clean up" your voice is soft, trying to gently break the trance he seems to be in.

"So pretty, all full of my cum," he's mostly just talking to himself now, entranced with the way he feels his seed seeping in and out of your cunt.

His voice is unguarded, introspective as he tells you, "I've got to make sure it takes."

A jolt of fear runs through you but, when you look at him, you realize he's still out of it, eyes glassy as he continues his ministrations.

You're quiet for a bit considering your answer. He just seems so vulnerable right now, definitely different from before.

"Keigo, you know it probably won't, right?" You tell him softly he nods as if expecting this answer. His wings curl around him as sits back from you tucking his legs against his chest. You sit up, facing him.

"Come on, Kei, we'll go clean up together and cuddle up in my bed. Sound good?" You hold out your hand to him and he takes it. You walk with him to the bathroom, drawing a bath for the two of you. You guide him into the bath with you, careful of his wings in the custom tub you share, when he sits you settle into his arms. You take the washing, gently washing the both of you.

"Keigo," you start, "what's up, you seemed pretty out of it after, and before with your eyes," you pause, " And also during, with the insane refraction time, is that normal for you" He hummed.

"It's to do with my quirk," you wiggle closer to his chest, settling yourself in his lap.

"And…" you prompt.

"In the springtime, I… I sort of get more Hawk-like," he says. Very little of what you described felt particularly hawk-like to you so you press on.

"Hawk-like how" you question

"I go through… physical changes, I nest, and well you saw, I have this desire to mate or to well… breed, and some of those things are made… easier"

"Oh," you say, brain still absorbing the information "is it for all of the spring?"

"Not really, it doesn't really start for a few more days, the effects are starting up now, but it'll hit in full swing in a few days.

He explains a bit more about the process, what happens during it, and what's happened years prior. Your heart aches when he tells you how he's spent every year of it alone, and about the hotel, he'd gotten this year to avoid you.

"Would you… want help this year?" You offer.

He peers over your shoulder to look at you. "It's a lot to ask, worse than today, I can't ask that,"

"I want to help, and it isn’t entirely self-serving." Your face feels hot again, "I really like you, like this. Would you be okay with that," you feel nervous, waiting for him to respond.

Keigo breaks into a grin and presses his lips to your temple, giving you small pecks punctuating each word "You. Are. Amazing." Then he adds with a smirk "and I like you too chickadee."

"It's still going to suck for you isn't it?" You ask. He thinks about it and nods slowly.

"Yeah, springtime's a bitch." 

Thank you so much for reading!! Likes, comments, reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[evvlevie]

why can't shifting be harder? How I finally related to my fantasy-books. 

I KNOW I KNOW! "Why isn't shifting harder? Is this bitch for real? I have been trying to shift for ages and this Evie-chick needs it to be even harder? Can I punch her?", is what might be going through your head right now. And before you manifest for all of my teeth to fall out, and Steve to die in season 5 just to spite me, let me explain!

So, as I have mentioned before on my beautiful little blog: I work in a supermarket as a cashier. Right now it's August and in Germany (specifically Bavaria) it's summer break right now. Many families are on vacation and so it happens that the store is quite empty on a random August-Thursday. As a cashier that means you are sitting around staring holes into the air a lot while daydreaming about random stuff. Today I was staring at the automatic doors thinking about that one scene in stranger things 1 where El smashes the doors together with her telekinetic powers and all of that glass shatters. That thought, reminded me of a book I read once (Obsidian), where the MC was starting to become aware of her telekinetic powers and how they had almost an entire book (Onyx) dedicated to the MC training those powers, and learning to control them.

Remembering all those scenes where Kat had to practice her powers, because otherwise she didn't know how to use them, made me remember how confused I was about the fact that she had to practice it. How they would make her move things, or catch things, lift stuff and light shit on fire so she would learn to use the power inside of her.

"You literally know you have telekinetic powers, JUST USE THEM!".

That has always been my thought, every time I re-read that book, because it's one of my absolute favorite ones. I always catch myself thinking that if Kat was me, I would immediately know what to do, and that it's ridiculous that she has those powers and doesn't naturally feel how to do it. It was always so obvious to me, how to feel the power literally coursing through you and how to release it to manipulate stuff telekinetically. What an idiot Kat must be, because she had to practice and revise this feeling.

I was staring at those doors, realizing that I can actually transfer this thought onto myself. All of these Tumblr-posts where bloggers tell you that you have the power flowing through your veins, that you are the god of your universe and that the 3D is your play-dough to knead, all of them have been so right and I have just been so stupid not to understand. I believed them. I knew they were right, but I never absorbed that quite as much as I should have. I know I am the goddess of my reality. That I make the decisions, that I see what I want to see and that there is nothing that compares to my power. I know that. WHY DON'T I JUST USE THAT??? That realization made me feel just like Kat. I have the power to shift. It is mine. My super-power, my specialty, my trick. Why don't I just do it? Why don't I just decide to do it? You know you can shift. Why aren't you shifting?

Only now I can see how blinded I was by overcomplicating shifting for myself. You are a natural. A born-with-this-gift-chosen-one. A goddamn God/Goddess. It's as organic, as real, as human, as Devine and as designed for you as it could be. You were created with this talent my dear reader! If you feel like the main character of a fantasy novel about supernatural beings with superpowers and shit, YOU FUCKING SHOULD BECAUSE THATS WHO YOU ARE. I fucking swear to you there is a reality in which people are watching shows or reading novels about shifters and them figuring out their powers, and there is a whole lot of drama and shit, and we are sitting here, literally experiencing it and acting all stupid and stuff because we can't figure out how to do what we were destined, designed and determined to do. There probably is someone who is watching us struggle and thinks to themselves: "You have the powers right at your hands just use them", how stupid of me to read it so many times, over and over and not take it as literal as it is.

As always I hope I was able to provide you with the help that you are looking for, and if never be too shy to ask me anything ❣️

and remember: You literally know you have shifting powers, JUST USE THEM!!!!

a lot of love and a big, big sorry to Katy Swartz

Evie <3

[beachbabey]

BTS Fic Rec

Mature (smut/horror, triggering) - (M) | Fluff (F) | AU - AU | Angst - (A) |  Series - (...) 

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Three’s a Crowd by @taecas (Taehyug) (Yoongi) (M) (F) (A) (...)

Sweeter Than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga (Jimin) (Multiple through the story) (M) (A) Vampire!AU (...)

Cherry by @go-gently-please (OT7) (M) AU (...) Vampire!AU

Lifeline by @forgottenpasta (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Vampire!AU Soulmate!AU 

Routine by @daydream-hobii (Taehyung) (Yoongi) (...) (F) (A) Hybrid!AU

Safe Haven by @analovegirl (OT7) (F) (...) Hybrid!AU

Sandcastles by @hollyhomburg (Jimin) (Namjoon) (Yoongi (Hoseok) (F) (A) (M) (...) Wolf!AU

Butterfly by @hollyhomburg (OT7) (F) (M) (A) (...)

Moth to a Flame by @bang-to-the-tan  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Vampire!AU

Need by @bang-tan-bitches (Rap Line) (M) (...) Wolf!AU

Kitten’s Got His Tongue by @gardentulips (Yoongi) (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid!AU

Unconditionally by @btsreactsarchive (OT7) (F) (A) (M)  (...) Wolf!AU

Tainting Purity by @sevenincubistolemyheart (OT7) (M) (A) (...)  Demon!AU

Soul Meiteu by @bang-tan-bitches (OT7) (A) (F) (...)  Soulmate!AU

String Of Fate by @minniepetals (OT7) (F) (A) (...) Mafia! AU

Call Me Yours by @hollyhomburg (Sequel to DTT) (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid! AU

Wild Ones by @justanotherbtsbitch (OT7) (F) (A) (...) Hyrbid!AU

Bunny Blues by @httpjeon (Yoongi) (Jungkook)  (F) (A) (...) Hybrid!AU

Pandemonium by @chinkbihh  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...)  Sugar Daddy!AU Yandere!AU

Candlelit Nightmare by @junqkook (M) (...) (OT7) Yandere!AU

What The Devil Doesn’t Know by @hollyhomburg (M) (...)  (Jimin) (Namjoon) Demon!AU Magic!AU

eight’s a crowd by @baepsaets (OT7) (F) (A)  (...) Soulmate!AU

Beautifully Misfit by @orphicbts (Maknae Line)  (F) (A) (M) (...)  Hybrid!AU

I’ll Still Stay by @sugamoonv (OT7) (F) (A) (...)  Hybrid!AU

At Last by @sugamoonv (OT7) (F) (A) (...)  Soulmate!AU

Recrudescence by @chimchimsauce (OT7) (F) (A) (...) Yandere!AU Soulmate!AU Magic!AU

The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot (Jungkook) (Taehyung) (M) (...)

Datura by @girlmeetsliv3 (Taehyung) (Jimin) (M) (A) (...) Yandere!AU

Super Rich Kids by @exhausted-joy (OT7?) (M) (A) (...)

Hybrid Heart Attack by @daydream-hobii (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid!AU

Forever Ours by @yougotnojams73  (OT7) (F) (A) (M)  (...) Soulmate!AU

Florescence by @jincherie (Taehyung) (Seokjin)  (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid! AU

Bangtan Crossing by @mintedmango   (OT7) (F)  (...) Hybrid!AU

Lost in translation by @honeymoonjin  (OT7) (F) (A) (...) Teacher!AU

Humanity by @bts-trash-blog (Jimin) (Jungkook)  (F) (A) (M)  (...) Hybrid!AU

Kings of The Campus by @lustjoon  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) College! AU

Discipline by @sinsforjeon  (OT7) (F) (A) (M)  (...) 

Blacklisted by @httpjeon (Jungkook) (Taehyung) (A) (M) 

Heartbeat by @minniepetals  (OT7) (F) (A) (M)  (...) Hybrid!AU

Abundance by @angelicyoongie  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid!AU

Alpha goes first by @hollyhomburg  (OT7) (F) (A) (M)  Wolf!AU

Roses and Thorns by @minniepetals (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Dragon!Au

Sunshine riptide by @jincherie  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid!AU

Between the Bloodshed by @agustdakasuga  (OT7) (F) (A) Mafia!AU

Lunacy by @jincherie (Jungkook) (Seokjin)  (F) (A) (M) Wolf!AU

Until the last star falls by @minniepetals  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) God!AU

Of Treasure and Adventure by @rosy-night-sky (OT7) (F) (A) (M) Indiana Jones!AU

Faerie Realm by @ddaengyoonmin  (OT7) (F) (A) (M) Videogame!AU

Tangled Hearts by @writersrealmbts  (OT7) (F) (A) Hybrid!AU

From Eden by @ddaenggtan (Yoongi) (Hoseok) (F) (A) (M) God!AU

Tuqburni by @solastia (Yoongi) (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) 

Eunoia by @wishesunderthestars (OT7) (F) (A) (M) Hybrid!AU

The Return of an Empress by @you-are-my-joy (OT7) (F) (A) (M) Historical!AU 

Individual Members

Ragdoll by @ausblack(Jimin) (F) (A) (...) Hybrid!AU 

His by @taecas (Jungkook) (M) (F) (A) (...) Wolf!AU

Little Dove by @yminie (Taehyung) (F) (M) (A) Wolf!AU

Color by @midnightbts (Yoongi) (F) Blind!AU

Happy Helper by @chimtaesty(Taehyung) (F) Ghost!AU

a well oiled machine by @jincherie (Jungkook) (F) (A) (M) (...) Android!AU

The Firefly That Guards The Fox by @magicalsalamander (Taehyung) (F) (A) (M) (...) Hybrid!AU

Little Bear by @b-angst-tan (Jimin) (F) (A)  (...) Hybrid!AU

Into The Woods by @exhausted-joy (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) (...) Yandere!AU

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg (Yoongi)  (f) (a) (...) Dragon!AU

Crimson by @detectivebts (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) (...) Soulmate!AU

Otherworldly by @sinning-on-a-sunday (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) (...) Coraline!AU

Pursuing Happiness by @akinnie75  (Yoongi) (F) (A)

The Promised Iris by @akinnie75  (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) Soulmate! AU

Discolorae by @akinnie75 (Namjoon)  (F) (A) Fantasy!AU

Scary Hours by @exhausted-joy  (Jungkook) (F) (A) (M) (...) Yandere!AU

Shadows by @re-sugance  (Jungkook) (F) (A) (M)  Venom!AU

Blossom by @flowery-hope (Jimin) (F) (A) (...) Historical!AU

Hope World by @personasintro  (Hoseok) (F) (A) (...)

Lovebug by @httpjeon (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) Hybrid!AU

Flower by @readyplayerhobi  (Hoseok) (F) (A) (M) (...) Punk!AU

Tentacledipity by @jincherie  (Jimin) (F) (A) (M) (...) Alien!AU

Three’s Company by @godzillagirl-14  (Jimin) (Fem!OC) (F) (A) (M) (...)

The crimson shell by @angelicyoongie (Jungkook)  (A) (M) (...) Yandere!AU Merman!AU

welcome to the underworld by @krookedkoo  (Jungkook) (m) Demon!AU

Under the sea by @bloomsuga (Jimin) (M) Merman!AU Yandere!AU

Beloved by @bang-tan-bitches (Yoongi) (M) (A) Historical!AU Yandere!AU

Fish are friends by @httpjeon (Taehyung) (F) (A) (M) Hybrid!AU

Room 109 by @lavishedinjimin (Jungkook) (M) Wolf!AU

Cold by @ddaeng-181338 (Yoongi) 

Crimson by @your-kpop-fantasy-land (Taehyung) (M) (A) Ghoul!AU

Lay Me Gently by @ddaenggtan (Seokjin) (F) (M) (A) God!AU

As We Go Along by @ddaenggtan (Yoonji) (F) (A) (M) Min Yoonji! AU

[biconderoga]

Sugar Sweet Lies || Side Story: The Times He Wished it wasn’t Fake

Masterlist: Please read after the original story, there are spoilers!!

Word Count: 1,677!!

Taglist: @alittlebitofrain @tatir0ckz @imahoe-shi @darling-daydreaming @tanchosanke @rosecarft-lollipop @envyusshades @samie-babie @mel-goes-unknown @shhhspect @1987hotschott @kleinbluu @hobobob38-blog @pantasticalcat @stargirlara @hihosilvers @queen-seren @dekustowel @ayocee @chaichai-the-weeb @ziry-doza @daninaninani @elianetsantana @tearsforhan @rogueofbullshit @spotlesspeaceofmind @daylightari @menina-ostra @a-moon-fairy @alienvarmint @mysticspacecat @mirikusashes @marshmellowfluff221 @myeggodied @miracleboy420 @simpforkurootetsu @timeskipiwaizumi @doctorcelina @nekomasbrain @ptv-hades @semiathleticnerdykid @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @bakuhoetoedoroki @daisukesheels @prettyinblack231 @heyyourecute @panwuthaplan @nofuckignway @valrubiii @cadenzie

Tendou Satori was not a man in high demand. He was lanky, had unnervingly large eyes, and obnoxious red hair. Typically, these weren’t qualities that girl’s looked for. In fact, it was the opposite…his qualities were perfect to scare girls off.

He knew it, and hated it…yet he masked his pain with an air of nonchalance. As time went on, he took these comments and used them to his advantage. On the volleyball court, he was feared for his looks. And he was damn proud of it…nothing could top the defeated looks his enemies gave him.

With a newly found passion in volleyball, life carried on for Tendou. All seemed to go well, and he even met one of his closest friends, Ushijima. His life fell into a repetitive cycle that was in no way hated. Tendou, for the first time in a while, was content.

However, several months into his third-year, rumors began to spread of a new student. The student hadn’t necessarily piqued his interest, as it wasn’t uncommon for Shiratorizawa to receive transfer students. The academy was a reputable school, so it would be no surprise if the student just wanted to look good on their transcript.

It wasn’t until Tendou found out this student was the new volleyball manager that he actually took interest. Ushijima had introduced her as Y/N L/N, a rather famous model. At the time, Tendou hadn’t personally met Y/N…but he was already starting to dislike her. Models were beloved by many for their looks, and it ticked him off. It wasn’t fair that people got paid for their looks while he got bullied for his! Call it pretty privilege at its finest.

However, Tendou didn’t show his distaste for her. It would be too unlike him, Tendou was supposed to be carefree and happy! He wasn’t going to let some dumb model ruin his image. But he would put her in her place. After hearing that Y/N was a former volleyball player, Tendou thought he’d beat her in at least one thing. Tendou wasn’t pretty, but he was petty.

Tendou prided himself in being Shiratorizawa’s ‘guess monster’, yet Y/N was still able to spike through him. It hurt his pride like a bitch…and even more so when Y/N began to purposefully avoid him. So, he did what anyone would do! Annoy her.

Getting on Y/N’s nerves was enjoyable for Tendou. He would do it at any given chance, and Y/N loathed him for it. A new cycle was set in place for Tendou…study, practice, annoy Y/N then repeat.

It was no wonder Tendou jumped at the opportunity to blackmail Y/N; it was a perfect way to annoy her! Anime was something that was often classified as weird, so when he caught famous model Y/N cosplaying…Tendou wanted to share with the volleyball club. He hadn’t thought Y/N would be so vehemently against it, but he did not mind one bit. So the redhead channeled his inner devil and arranged a deal.

Tendou just never thought his mischievous plan would lead to him actually catching feelings. There where five different scenarios in which Tendou wished it wasn’t fake.

The first time was about a month into the ‘relationship’. Y/N was still as cold as ever, but Tendou felt like he was making progress. Just barely, but that progress was there if you squinted. That day they had walked into practice holding hands, just as they had done for the past month. Y/N departed from Tendou for some managerial duties, while Tendou skipped off to stretch.

Practice continued as usual, and Tendou found himself staring at Y/N during a break. She was hunched over laughing at something Semi had said. She was adorable to him (He’d never admit it out loud, especially since he was still bitter that she was a model). Her eyes crinkled in the cutest way, while her smile was bright. At that moment Tendou thought, ‘that’s my girlfriend, not anyone else’s mine!’.

“Jesus Tendou, please stop with the loveydovey look.” Shirabu nudged Tendou, “Y/N get your boyfriend!”

The model stopped laughing, and her happy smile was replaced with a fake one. Suddenly Tendou remembered, she wasn’t his…and she still despised him. Her eyes said it all, she would strangle him if she could. It hurt, but Tendou could still indulge in his little fantasy.

The second time Tendou wished it wasn’t fake was when Y/N first let down her walls. The whole fiasco with Y/N’s fanboys came and went, and now Y/N saw Tendou in a different light. Instead of the monster she usually saw, Y/N saw Tendou for what he really was: a person who wanted to be accepted.

Tendou poured his feelings into his apology to Y/N. It wasn’t fair of him to assume all attention was positive and wanted. Nor was it fair of him to annoy Y/N simply because he hated her job. Hell, if he were good-looking he’d love to get paid for his looks. His apology was thankfully accepted, and Y/N requested they started over as friends.

Her genuine smile made Tendou wish she wanted more from him. If only the feeling was mutual…

Yet, Tendou didn’t pursue his feelings further. Y/N finally treated him as a valued friend, and Tendou didn’t want to trade that for the world. A warm feeling flooded his chest whenever she talked to him. He didn’t want to risk anything for some pesky feelings. He didn’t want to go back to the days where all girls avoided him like the plague (although they still did, but he didn’t want Y/N to join them again).

The third time Tendou wished it wasn’t fake was when they had snuck off the night before interhigh preliminaries. At that point in time they were close friends. Tendou even considered Y/N to be his second best friend (after Ushijima of course)! That night had been spent goofing off with the volleyball club. Tendou, who had wanted to push his luck, invited Y/N for a little sleepover. It was an innocent request, they could watch anime until they fell asleep! And to his surprise Y/N agreed. That night was a treasured memory for Tendou. They watched anime to their hearts content as they pigged on snacks. The cherry on top of the night was when Y/N feel asleep next to him.

Thank god she couldn’t see how red his face got. Tendou had seen this scene play out in many different animes…but it was completely different living it out. She was just so close. Sneakily, Tendou wrapped his arm around her waist. If by any chance she woke up, he could say he subconsciously cuddled up to her warmth! (Although it was warming up outside, so that excuse would not be as convincing) Or he could just say he was afraid of her falling!

Yep, perfect! It totally wasn’t just him pretending to snuggle up to his ‘girlfriend’. Totally.

The fourth time Tendou wished it was real was when he nearly popped a blood vessel because of Terushima’s insistent flirting. Even if he was only a fake boyfriend, Tendou was livid. Who in their right mind would flirt with a taken girl? Right, Terushima would!

He had seen what Y/N’s fanboys were capable of, but the volleyball captain was on another level. He had cut Y/N’s escape off, and when Tendou introduced himself…Terushima told him to piss off. If that wasn’t bad, he completely ignored Y/N’s pleas to back off. Now that was the last straw.

Tendou felt something snap within him. He grabbed the collar of Terushima’s jersey and told him to stay away from his girl. She was off the market, and if Terushima couldn’t understand that Tendou would make sure to ingrain it into his thick skull. If only that snitch Goshiki hadn’t called Ushijima.

To make Tendou’s sour mood even worse, Y/N had reminded him they weren’t a real couple. In his moment of anger he completely forgot. They weren’t official, so he had no right to call Y/N his girl. With a heavy heart, Tendou had told her not to think anything of it. He was just trying to get Terushima to lay off.

The fifth and final time he wished it was real was at the interhigh preliminary finals. Shiratorizawa was pitted against Seijoh, and after a draw out game, they had won.

Usually when Tendou would win games he’d relish in the defeated looks of his enemies or even run up to Ushijima. This time, however, Tendou immediately turned to find Y/N. Had she seen the final plays? Did she think he looked cool? Was she proud of him?

All of his common sense flew out the window when she saw her excited smile. Like moths drawn to a flame they both sprinted to each other; Tendou was surprised he had much energy to run left after playing a straight game, but he supposed he still had adrenaline pumping through his veins. When they finally reached each other, a magnetic force pulled their lips together.

Tendou had kissed a volleyball a few times, courtesy of Ushijima’s spikes, but nothing could have prepared him for Y/N’s lips. They were soft from excessive use of cherry lip balm. What’s more, is that they melded perfectly against Tendou’s chapped lips. Like the final piece to a puzzle. But what really made it perfect was that she kissed back. After months of faking feelings, did this mean Y/N had developed some real ones?

Yet before Tendou could form a single thought, wolf whistles interrupted their kiss. There where a few comments about Tendou graduating from Mr. Virgin Lips. Even Seijoh’s setter was squealing dramatically, though he was interrupted by the team’s ace. Y/N, who had just realized what she had done, yelped and excused herself for some managerial duties.

The kiss had ended just as soon as it started, but Tendou was still on cloud nine. That kiss had to have meant something to Y/N! Hope found itself in Tendou. Maybe, just maybe, he would get the real thing. Finally, Tendou would be able to stop wishing it wasn’t fake.

[fmdtaeyong]

like a rockstar : taeyong marketing breakdown

a headcanon & playlist on how titan’s taeyong is marketed as a product and brand.

headcanon

word count: 491 words, not counting the tvtropes quote.

a successful celebrity can’t exist without marketing. some celebrities are all marketing. ash, for one, wouldn’t be where he is today without bc entertainment’s well-oiled marketing machine painting him in a desirable light and smoothing out his rough edges into something shiny.

the image the name taeyong provokes now isn’t quite the one it would have provoked a few years ago. the role of maknae burdened ash’s image for years. a sense of brightness is expected of any idol, but the youngest of a group is expected to show it, even in a group like titan that has never been about bright concepts. whether that means being babied by the older members or having a certain underlying innocence to him.

when he went solo was when his image gravitated further away from being dictated by his place within a group. as he earned recognition for his own name (or rather, his own stage name) and got attention from a new crowd, he was able to pave a path that painted with the brush of an artist, a little less bound by preconceived notions about his role in titan. when the scandals stamped to his name went from fumbling over formalities and dating a well-loved actress to controversies less easily painted as endearing that came at the same time he began to present himself differently visually, bc had to bank on the leeway of an artist tinge to his image saving him.

ash has never been marketed as an ideal boyfriend. titan has that covered in the group already and an outed relationship before he’d begun to make a name for himself individually prevented that from being a rational path. some fans still fall into the trap of babying him, but overall, taeyong is now known as the more serious and reserved type. satisfactory fanservice is a non-starter, so they make their own fantasies out of his mystery and “edginess” and a brooding stage persona. bc has done damage control where they’ve had to and let his music and fan projections paint the rest.

out of all of the classic boy band member tropes, ash would solidly be considered a purveyor of the bad boy / rebel trope within titan and out of it for that matter. to quote tvtropes:

“the one with a rougher edge to him. he's the one wearing the black shirt and jeans or leather jacket in those videos where they're not all wearing matching clothes. if he's really edgy, he may also have a tattoo. put in to cater to those girls who want bad boys.”

 bc read the first two paragraphs of the tv tropes page for all girls want bad boys and said ‘yeah, this should work’. the bad boy / rebel angle tends to get played up within fandom a lot more than among more casual listeners to his music, who get a heavier dose of the ~artist~ part of his image since that’s meant to appeal to them more anyway.

ash has very purposefully been trying to lean more into the artist aspect of his image lately because he isn’t a fan of being painted as some kind of bad boy fantasy when he doesn’t consider that an accurate representation of him at all.

playlist

this playlist gives a semi-chronological cataloging of the image associated with taeyong since around 2016/2017. some parts of his image have remained consistent, while others have changed either by purposeful marketing, unavoidable consequences of media discussion around him, or simply altered fan narratives for him. some parts of this are less about how he’s marketed and more about very one-dimensional fan narratives crafted around him, but overall it gives an idea of the feeling associated with him as a product and brand. (some of these songs were used in image playlists on ash’s previous blog, but i made sure at least seven of these are new. i wanted to include ones i’d used before as well for a comprehensive look on his new blog since some aspects of his image have changed.)

this honestly also doubles as a list of the songs you’d find the most results for if you looked up taeyong fan edits.

i. death of a bachelor | i’m cutting my mind off, feels like my heart is going to burst / alone at a table for two, and i just wanna be served / and when you think of me, am i the best you've ever had?

ii. daydreamer | a jaw dropper / looks good when he walks / is the subject of their talk / he would be hard to chase / but good to catch / and he could change the world / with his hands behind his back, oh

iii. wildest dreams | he's so tall and handsome as hell / he's so bad, but he does it so well / i can see the end as it begins

iv. style | cause you got that james dean daydream look in your eye / and i got that red lip classic thing that you like / and when we go crashing down, we come back every time / cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style / you got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt / and i got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

v. crazy beautiful | and he picks you up / and he sets you down / and that's the way / he thinks and he walks and he plays around downtown / but the truth is, he's still got a scar / as plain as others / to get his way to a scarlet heart

vi. ready for it...? | knew he was a killer first time that I saw him / wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted / [...] / some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all though / younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so

vii. radio | now my life is sweet like cinnamon / like a fuckin' dream i'm livin' in / baby, love me 'cause i'm playing on the radio / how do you like me now?

viii. like i would | he, won't touch you like i do / he, won't love you like i would / he don't know your body / he don't do you right / he won't love you like i would / love you like i would, like i would

ix. i wanna be yours | secrets i have held in my heart / are harder to hide than i thought / maybe i just wanna be yours / i wanna be yours

x. strange love | they think i'm insane, they think my lover is strange / but i don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything / and i'm gonna write it all down, and i'm gonna sing it on stage / but i don't have to fucking tell you anything, anything

xi. my oh my | yeah, a little bit older, a black leather jacket / a bad reputation, insatiable habits / he was onto me, one look and i couldn't breathe, yeah / i said, if he kissed me, i might let it happen

xii. bad reputation | i don't give a damn 'bout my reputation / never been afraid of any deviation / and i don't really care if you think i'm strange / i ain't gonna change

xiii. starboy | i'm tryna put you in the worst mood, ah / p1 cleaner than your church shoes, ah / milli point two just to hurt you, ah / all red lamb' just to tease you, ah / none of these toys on lease too, ah / made your whole year in a week too, yah / main bitch out of your league too, ah / side bitch out of your league too, ah / [...] / look what you’ve done / i’m a motherfuckin' starboy

xiv. into it | i'm just fucking lucky i was born with it / a hundred million people couldn't deal with this

xv. like a rockstar | put me in designer then put me in the dirt / keep my legacy alive like a rockstar / lifestyle, on the edge, can be unforgiving / see i worship the dead, they worship the living, yeah

[voxmxchina]

Hannibal Fic Recs

hiddenembers07: I’m new to the hannibal fandom so any recs for fics I would love to hear? 😊

Oh boy, do I ever. Firstly, let me point you to this list of “iconic hannibal recs” for a list format of the prominent fics in the fandom. I have not included any fics that are already on that list. Most of the fics listed here I’ve found by tag mining and creeping on people’s bookmark lists and they’re in no particular order. All are complete. So, enjoy!

-------

A Great and Gruesome Height by mokuyoubi (E | 115k) Post s3e13. Murder Husbands. This is a masterpiece. The writing is beautiful and entrancing. The plot is engaging and respectably tense without overshadowing the enthralling character and relationship development. The growth and malleability of both Will and Hannibal are shown in such a lovely way. Definitely a must read. 

Morphology (series) by Finely Honed (E | 93k) s1 AU. “Hannibal's fascination with Will prompts him to attempt the impossible—giving up killing in order to better explore the possibility of a relationship with Will. Easier said than done.“ This is beautifully written and wonderfully angsty while not being TOO much. Seriously can’t believe I haven’t read this before. Contains: murder family feels, excellent and unique characterizations, and lots of uhhh... smut. That's really good too.

On Through the Shallows by MajorEnglishEsquire (E | 33k) Post s3e13. “Hannibal has decided to want dog hair and mechanic's grease and damp sheets. Or, rather, he's decided he doesn't much mind cleaning those up. He needed someone to fuck him up. He fucked Will up and he wants to get fucked up right back.” Will works through the limbo between the moral man he was before and the free one he is becoming. Hannibal works on sucking colorful bruises onto Will’s neck.

Odalisque (series) by drinkbloodlikewine & whiskeyandspite (E | 231k) Murderous Rent Boy!Will & uhhh... normal Hannibal. Underage warning. “There’s something deeply decadent about it, defiling such a luminous vehicle with something so cheap as smoke. The irony isn’t lost on Will as he slides across the velvet-soft lambskin leather seat. As far as could be from anyone who regularly visits this place, for these reasons. Slumming it. Not quite your typical rentboy situation.” What is there to say? Will is an underage serial killer with a rent-boy cover. Hannibal is Hannibal. They pick each other out as marks but they can’t quite kill each other. Kink ensues. Also, the development across this series is the most memorable thing about it, all kink aside (and there is a lot of it).

Faded Fantasy (and sequel) by Phenobarbital (E | 232k) Post s3e13. Slow Burn. “Hannibal navigates his way through Will's heterosexuality...” Okay. This is AWESOME. I feel like this was written specifically for me. It’s long as FUCK, but it’s ALL relationship development. It’s literally just >200k of pining and romancing and sexual tension and Hannibal being so incredibly smitten with Will that it’s painful for him. This deserves so much more clout. Literally, cannot recommend this journey of a fic enough. When their trust develops, it’s very rewarding.

As soft, as wide as air by BlackKnightSatellite (E | 191k) Post s3e13. Murder Husbands. Dark. Slow burn. A story of becoming in three acts. Beautifully written - poetic even. Plot driven without neglecting the necessary and heavy character development. This is a tragedy, not for Hannibal and Will, but for every mere mortal who has touched them. Will and Hannibal here burn bright and hot like a dying star, suspended in time. My descriptions aren’t usually this florid, but this epic truly deserves it. Will here is an avenging angel of hell, and Hannibal is as manipulating and devoted as he’s ever been. The pacing and plot are reminiscent of the show, and it’s lovely. Well worth reading. MCD warning does NOT apply to Hannibal or Will.

Daydreamer and the Shadow Man (series) by HigherMagic (E | 169k) “After Garrett Jacob Hobbs, Will can't reconcile Abigail's death. He's done - with all of it. He needs to escape, to return to the only place he has ever felt safe and wanted. That place ends up being a sleepy town on the other side of the Chesapeake Bay, where he spent one summer as a child, exchanging riddles and letters with his dearest friend: the Shadow Man.” This is BEAUTIFUL!! There’s identity porn, Dark/Semi-Dark Will, extremely devoted Hannibal, and so so so much love in this story. Please note there are strong themes of stalking/grooming in case that’s a trigger for you.

The First Condition of Immortality is Death by OneHandedBooks (E | 92k) Hannibal’s heart stopped for the first time after he’d dragged himself and Will out of the frigid ocean onto the rocky shore at the bottom of the bluff. Slow Burn. Lovely, poignant, emotional! Very atmospheric. Will and Hannibal heal from their fall. They take a boat to the Caribbean. <-- That’s all I have in my AO3 notes, but I actually find myself thinking about this fic all the time. I’ve read so many fics that are post 3x13, but this one and it’s little details still stand out to me.

Two Solitudes by emungere (E | 54k) Wonderful, intimate, and tender. Beautifully written and honest. Will cares for Hannibal after the cliff. They escape to Canada together, and they learn to trust and fit together. I’m always a bitch for survival/wilderness fics, and this scratches that itch.

The Infinitives Series by InfiniteCrisis (E | 93k) Post s3e13. Dark AF. An incredible take on Sub!Hannibal and Dom!Will. Will makes a cruel, cruel Dom here and some of this feels pretty fucked up, even for me. It works out though and I've read this through multiple times. PLEASE read the warnings though.

Veins As Fine As Rabbit Hair by lovetincture (E | 42k) “He also knows what Hannibal’s offering, and it’s not just anything. It's love and murder, pain and comfort, all of it mixed together in equal quantities and no way to have one without the other.” A slow burn and slow story (in such a good way). Will and Hannibal, after the fall. Very beautifully written, and their relationship growth is wonderful.

Authors that I love everything I’ve read by: HigherMagic // Whiskeyandspite // stratumgermanitivum // drinkbloodlikewine  // everybreathagift

Fics that I’ve loved enough to read aloud: “A Gentler Ending” by @damnslippyplanet​ // “daylight savings” by thebeespatella (@the-bees-patella) // “Pochée” by ElloPoppet (@lizabethl)

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Find more fic recommendations lists by myself and others  on my fanfiction blog here! Also check out my bookmarks on AO3!

I have SO many more fics that I love, so feel free to drop by my inbox if you need more reccomendations! This is just a very very very small sampling.

[literary-masochism]

Midnight Sun: Chapter One - My Descent Into Madness

(reposted from my blog)

I kind of want to be dramatic and say I have a long, sordid history with Twilight, but I’m not sure that’s accurate. I do have a history, but it is one of pain, tears, and frustration.

I’m a firm believer in reading a ‘bad’ book to form your own opinion on it instead of just believing what you’re told...

The criticisms against Twilight were more than justified.

It took me multiple attempts to get through the first book – The first time I didn’t even finish the first chapter. I loathed Bella Swan from the moment we met her. She whined nonstop, she bitched nonstop, and was instantly so shallow and two-faced to everyone she met that I wanted to punch her in her (at the time) nondescript face.

But I tried again and again and finally finished the series. I remember crying during the Breaking Dawn because nothing was fucking happening and there was so much left in the book and I just wanted it to END.

Then my brain, trying to save me, made me forget everything about what I read. When I realized what had happened, I checked my Goodreads to make sure I did, in fact, read those books and they weren’t just a fever dream sent by the forces of evil to torment me.

As much as I appreciated the attempt, I earned those scars... at least audiobooks are easier to get through, even though I had to pause them to rage, again, at the idiocy.

And now... Now we have Midnight Sun. I believe I skimmed the leaked book but never gave it any real attention... so, of course, the full book gets released the day after my 34th birthday.

Joy.

But it gives me an excuse to try something I always wanted to do: Snarking bad books... because if I have to suffer, you might as well too!

So... without further delay... here is the first chapter, as seen by me, of Midnight Sun.

Chapter 1: First Sight

We open up with Edward being a melodramatic prick about having to go to school and how boring it is.

THIS WAS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN I MOST WISHED I WERE ABLE TO SLEEP.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there were any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

Followed quickly by how much humans, especially teenagers, suck absolute ass.

When it came to the human mind, I’d heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body. It took so little to work them up. I’d seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—it was the same reaction as one would get from flashing a shiny object at a group of toddlers. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves infatuated with her, just because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Don’t you just love him already?

This is only the first page... It’s not even a full page... Edward tells us how he tries not to listen to his siblings then tells us exactly what his siblings are thinking.

He shames Rosalie for thinking about how hot she is, but since that’s her only personality trait we ever got in the entire saga (besides bitch), I’m not that worked up over it. She’s hot and she knows it.

Emmett is just thinking about kicking Jasper’s ass which, I feel, is a goal everyone should aspire to because Jasper’s thoughts...

And Jasper was… suffering.

GOOD

Alice mentally calls his name and Edward is kind enough to let us know that it’s just the same as if someone said it out loud... you know, because we’re too dumb to work that out ourselves.

Also, he is so thankful that the name EDWARD has ‘fallen out of style’ in the last few decades.

Alice is worried about Jasper slaughtering everybody within a ten-mile radius because he’s become a literal statue (because Meyerpires are made of stone and this is in no way a ripoff of Anne Rice) and, stupidly, she asks Edward how he’s doing...

I guess Alice forgot she could, you know, SEE INTO THE FUTURE. Because checking to see if your boyfriend is about to go on a murder spree is a telepathy situation.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN FUTURE!

Was it really necessary to experiment this way? Wouldn’t the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle his thirst as well as the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

YES! WHY?!

For a group of vampires that don’t want to kill humans, so we’re told, they certainly don’t give a fuck if they kill humans.

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided.

So... which is it?

Edward thinks about how oblivious the humans around them are and how they avoid the ‘odd-looking’ group.

Okay, if I had to guess, the avoidance has more to do with how fucking weird you are. A group of five incredibly attractive (And yet odd-looking? Sure Meyer) teenagers sitting by themselves with full trays of food that they don’t eat, all while wearing designer clothing. They don’t talk to each other, they barely even look at each other...

That’s fucking weird. THEY’RE WEIRD.

Meyer: They’re either so attractive as to lure their prey in for the kill or they’re so inhuman looking that no one wants to go near them. It can’t be both.

Anyway, a girl walks by and Edward starts frothing at the mouth while he and Jasper get a vampire erection over Jasper imagining MURDERING AN INNOCENT GIRL.

Also, calling her a ‘little girl’ is very creepy in an entirely different way. Just sayin’.

Edward snaps Jasper out of it and Alice lies and says he wasn’t going to slaughter an innocent human being in the middle of the cafeteria.

We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.

Shut the ever-loving-fuck up.

And Alice, ever-so-helpfully, reminds Jasper to think of humans as people... because, you know, they aren’t really. Not compared to vampires anyway.

Someone mentally says the name ‘Edward’ so Edward turns to them as though they had actually called his name. Only it was in his head, not in real life. In case you didn’t catch that. That Edward is telepathic... so he hears thoughts as though they were being spoken to him. That’s why he looked over when someone thought his name.

In case you didn’t understand what was going on.

This is the first time Edward sees Bella and... he gives no fucks. But wait! Turns out it was Jessica Stanley thinking about him, not Bella!

In fact, Jessica thinks Bella is already crushing on all the Cullens.

Good for you, Jessica, not assuming Bella is only after the undead D. Rosalie/Bella shippers thank you.

Edward is relieved Jessica got over her fixation on him (because it’s totally normal for teenager girls to crush on weird-looking weirdos). He then goes on to show he has no idea how teenage girls (or adult women for that matter) work:

What a relief it had been when she’d gotten over her misplaced fixation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I’d wished, at the time, that I could explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies.

That is the exact fantasy most TwiHards were having.

Jessica complains that she doesn’t see why all the boys are looking at Bella, thinking she’s ‘not even pretty’. I know this is supposed to make Jessica unlikable but, you know what? That is a very wounded teenage thought process. It’s immature and turning the blame somewhere else but that’s teenagers in a nutshell.

Edward comments on Jessica’s new obsession with Mike Newton – creepily calling him a child.

There is the implication that Jessica’s not a nice person because she’s being outwardly nice to Bella while bad-mouthing her mentally and... that’s such a Christian mentality: the idea that your thoughts matter as much as your actions. Just putting that out there because, clearly, we can see what Meyer’s opinion on that is… as long as it’s one of the Cullens or Bella doing the thinking, it’s fine! In Twilight, Bella was putting down everyone who looked at her until the hideously beautiful Edward was so mean to her.

No, I didn’t forget that shit.

Jessica continues being a teenager girl, hoping that with Bella’s ever-shining light of beauty shining beside her that maybe Senpai Mike will notice her.

And, of course, Edward is an asshole because he’s upset that a teenager girl has teenage thoughts.

He tells Emmett what’s going down with the new girl and tries to listen in on Bella’s thoughts to see what she thinks about all this.

And, because Bella doesn’t actually have thoughts, all Edward hears in the unending howling void.

Edward tells us he has to use his powers to protect his family! He has to listen to everyone’s thoughts in case anyone gets suspicious about the beautiful/weird/attractive/repulsive family in their midst.

I feel like that would be easier if Edward didn’t actively try to ignore everyone.

But sometimes people get it right and the Cullens have to disappear before... I don’t know. Meyerpires are indestructible by humans to the point that they can outrun nuclear bombs. The Vultori might come whine at them for exposing the secret but by that point, the Cullens disappearing would just draw even more attention.

Edward tries to listen to the new girl but gets nothing. He turns to check and all he can see is the brown-void eyes of Bella.

There’s also a bit in there where Edward wonders if Bella is still sitting there because she must be since Jessica is still talking. He turns and sees Bella still sitting there because of course she is, because Jessica is still talking to her. You see, Bella was still there and Edward suspected as much as Jessica was still talking to her because she was still sitting there.

He gets another hard-on as Bella blushes. He comments that she “looked surprised” as she “unknowingly absorbed the signs of subtle differences between her kind and mine.”

Bitch, you don’t know that. You can’t read her fucking thoughts. You’re just assuming this bullshit. This is some of what I remember from skimming the first Midnight Sun. You just make up shit about her personality to suit what you want! Reality is completely optional.

And we get this:

[...] as she listened to Jessica’s tale; and something more… Fascination? It wouldn’t be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey.

You know, the hyper attractiveness that turns people away because of how odd-looking they are but also draws people to them while also making people avoid them because they’re so inhuman.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd because of the depth to them—I could hear only silence from the place she was sitting. Just… silence.

Yes, because she’s the void personified.

Try and keep up.

Edward decides that he’s just not trying hard enough and stops blocking out all the teenager chatter – you know, the chatter he constantly listens to to ensure the safety of his family? That chatter.

Also, shout out to Ashley Dowling for obviously having a crush on Bella.

Angela Weber is the only one not thinking about Bella. I’m sure Meyer’s just trying to show how ‘unusually kind’ she is but... acting like a completely normal person doesn’t really qualify as being ‘unusually kind’.

Then Meyer, again, tries too hard to make Jessica unlikable by having her mentally calling Bella an idiot for asking about Edward Cullen. But since Bella is an idiot...

We get the infamous “He’s gorgeous, obviously.” line even though all of student body finds the Cullens odd-looking and want nothing to do with them.

And Edward gets this strong impulse to protect Bella from Jessica’s nefarious plots to... get mildly more popular for the short time people care that there’s a new student at school. He describes how fragile Bella looks and how translucent her skin is...

Then we get this little gem where Meyer, apparently, forgot Edward can’t read Bella’s mind while describing things he’d only know if he could read her mind.

It was unbelievably frustrating! I could easily see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment.

This is a one-way street, Meyer. Edward has to stay his ass in his own lane.

Edward informs us that, despite not being able to hear Bella’s thoughts, he’s not going to let himself get too interest in them just because they’re hidden from him... then immediately says he’s going to find out what she thinks no matter what it takes. No matter how petty, trivial, self-absorbed, whiny, and shallow they are! He will find out!

Emmett interrupts Edward’s obliviousness to his own faults and asks if Bella is afraid of them yet.

“They sit by themselves, never talk to anyone, and stare at the wall.” Absolutely terrifying.

Lunch is over and the Cullens to go their classes. Edward is an asshole prepared to be bored because he’s so much smarter than the biology teacher.

He also tells us the reason he has a table to himself is because everyone is avoiding him and they were too stupid to know why. Yes, that is the word he uses.

Such a Prince Charming, isn’t he?

Again, Edward laments his inability to sleep when Angela leads Bella into class! Then Edward remembers he was totally thinking about Bella just now and not wishing he was asleep!

Also, Angela? Shut up.

The Void comes in and Edward still can’t hear her and, in one of the few moments I like, he worries that he’s losing his gift. Don’t worry, nothing comes out of that thought.

Edward notes that the only available seat is beside him so he clears a bit of room for her, feeling sorry that she’s doomed to spend so much time next to his hideousness. BUT THEN!

Bella Swan walked into the flow of heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment.

Now comes a page long description of Edward losing his shit. He tells us, multiple times, how much he wants to eat her, how he’ll have to get rid of the witnesses, blah blah blah. It’s basically the same paragraph repeated a few times... But you know what? It’s better than the whiny shit we’ve been getting and it’s nice to actually see the ‘good’ vampires struggle in a not completely idiotic way... so I ain’t that mad at it.

I was actually enjoying it a bit until Meyer stuck her dumb in my chocolate by having Edward rip a bit of wood off the desk. Like no one would have heard that. Or wonder why there’s a pile of sawdust under Edward’s desk.

Edward... I know that you’re far older than anyone in that room but... calling people children is just fucking creepy. Stop.

He calculates the best way to slurp Bella up and kill witnesses in the most efficient way (interrupted occasionally by an eye-roll worthy melodramatic thought about murdering innocents). I would like this if it wasn’t such a stark reminder of how Edward doesn’t actually give two fucks about humans – he just doesn’t want to disappoint his Not-Dad... who, from what we’ve seen in the guide (shudder) doesn’t really seem to care either as long as he’s not the one doing the murdering. They don’t kill people not because they care or want to protect them but because Dad said not to.

Bella sits down beside him (And he’s absolutely sure she’s terrified of him though she’s shown no sign of that and HE CAN’T READ HER THOUGHTS.)

Anyway, he whines that now he has to kill her for existing.

This is another little plothole that bothers me: he doesn’t have to stay in the classroom. He can ask to be excused, say he’s feeling sick or he has to use the bathroom. Yeah, it would draw a few moments of attention but, you know, IT’S BETTER THAN PLOTTING THE MURDER OF THIRTY PEOPLE.

Meyer decides to call me out on that thought and claims:

Every life in this room was in danger while she and I were in it together. I should run. I wanted to run, to get away from the heat of her next to me, and the punishing pain of the burning, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that if I unlocked my muscles to move, even just to stand, I wouldn’t lash out and commit the slaughter I’d already planned.

Fuck you, he only needs to resist for the half-a-dozen seconds it’d take to get out of the room. But no, he’d rather try and resist for an hour instead.

He, again, talks about Bella’s skin and calls it ‘See-through’.

Sexy

Edward’s becomes increasingly paranoid that Bella’s ‘trying to hide her secrets from him’.

Chillax, Eddie. She ain’t that deep.

He changes tactics. He’ll try to get her alone and his plan for this is flawless!

If he asks to walk her to her next class, she has to be polite and say yes! Even though he’s certain she’s terrified of him (because he completely fails at reading human reactions if he can’t read their minds), she’ll have to do the polite thing! Because reasons!

While he doesn’t realize how stupid that is, he does notice that everyone with an interest in ladies is already obsessing over Ms. Swan so people will probably notice him leading her away like the serial killer he is.

So he plots to wait until she gets home to murder her.

And you guys, he just hates her so much! I mean, he hates himself but he hates her for making him hate himself but also her because she exists but also himself but also her but also himself...

And apparently that was his entire thought process for the next hour because class is suddenly over!

Edward runs out of the room – you know, the thing he said he couldn’t do before because even just moving might prompt him to murder everything – and mopes in his car where he realizes that ‘Wait... I don’t have to do the thing’.

He wonders why Alice didn’t break their cover and draw attention to themselves by barging into Edward’s class to help him get rid of either his murder-boner or the bodies caused by his murder-boner. He decides that she’s focusing on making sure Jasper doesn’t get a murder-boner and she’s concentrating ‘vary’ hard on that.

(Is pointing out typos a bit too petty? Maybe but I did it.)

And Edward feels a new burn coursing through his body! The burn of SHAME!

(I'm glad I got to use this Gif so early on!)

I should say that, through out all of this, Edward’s been going on about his little monster (not that one) growling around his head but all I can imagine are the critters from Critters Attack:

He decides to just avoid Bella as much as possible while being in the same building as her and goes to try and change his classes halfway through the semester.

He startles Mrs. Cope by being so vampirey, though humans are too stupid to notice that, because he came in quietly while she wasn’t paying attention. Her panties are immediately soaked at the sight of teenage boy bod (ew) and asks how she could help him. Eddie lays it on thick because... I don’t know. I’m pretty sure she’s not in charge of the classes, so there’s no reason for him to make her flood the office like this...

Even he’s uncomfortable but he still does it. Gross.

Also, statistically, women prefer men close to their own age or slightly older, so...

We get a whole paragraph of Mrs. Cope thinking of how smart and perfect the Cullens are – actually thinking the line ‘Perfect Cullen’.

When she says that he can’t change or drop the class, he tries to stare her into submission, lamenting that his eyes aren’t gold but the terrifying black instead.

Uh... dark dark brown, almost black eyes are pretty common and can be very alluring. Have you forgotten Ben Barnes exists?! Here, I'll remind you:

I’d be more freaked out by the gold.

Bella, of course, interrupts this awkward seduction and sends Edward running with his tail between his legs. He passes by some random guy in the parking lot and, since Edward is so all important, the guy wonders where Edward came from and, instead of deciding he must not have noticed him before (Like a normal person not in a SMeyer book would do) he decides his imagination is getting the better of him.

Edward makes it to the Volvo where the others are waiting. He takes off like a bat out of hell (lawl) and in a moment of stupid where Meyer, once again, forgets how her characters's powers work:

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

“You’re leaving?” she whispered.

You see... Alice’s visions are based on people’s decisions... Edward didn’t know he was leaving until he saw that Alice saw he was leaving... which makes no sense in the context of what we’ve been given.

And so, after a moment of Edward thinking about killing Bella, he decides to flee the entire country.

And that’s the end of chapter one! It took me way longer than I expected and I used 74 tabs... This is going to be an experience and a half...

Until next time, I'm out!

[emotchalla]

Tempt You - I.

A/N: Hello it’s me your neighborhood “I will have as many WIPs as I want” ass bitch back at it again with a new fic! I have not been enough of a Peaky Blinders whore on this blog and that is unfortunate because this show has owned my ass for the past 3 years. I’m particularly obsessed with one Mr. Michael Gray, and this AU is actually my own personal headcannon I’ve had stewing around in my brain for a while. It’s also loosely based on the summer I studied abroad in London and my desire to go back there! (This version of the reader is very very similar to me.) I got inspired to jot some sentences down a few days ago, and while I was traveling this weekend a bunch of it just sprawled out of me and well, here you go! This fic is inspired by “Tempt You (Evocatio)” by Nothing But Thieves, which you can listen to here. I suggest listening to the song at some point in this fic because it’s pretty integral to the way I see Michael’s perspective on this relationship. Alright let me shut up so you can get on with reading. 

**All my works are written with a Black or POC reader in mind, because I am one myself, but all readers welcome!**

Pairing: Modern!Michael Gray x Fem!Reader

Summary: Modern!Michael Gray AU. Michael Gray has everything he wants. He’s the owner and senior partner of his own law firm; he’s paved his own path away from the family business. He’s past the wild, drunken nights and cocaine benders, the bloody noses and knife wounds and the fucking Catholics. And then he meets you. Suddenly Michael realizes that he doesn’t have everything after all. 

Warnings: Swearing, Excessive flirting, Sexual tension, Michael gives off very strong sugar daddy vibes, Fluff...for now

Word Count: 3.2k+

series masterlist | main masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here | listen to “tempt you (evocatio)” here

There are a pair of eyes watching you. Warm, bright, and the prettiest shade of green with flecks of blue and gold and brown too. They’re curious eyes, ones that have been on you sine the stranger they belong to entered the Starbucks across the street from your job. He smiles softly as he watches you watch him observe you. You look up to catch his gaze and he winks. Shit. You quickly look back down at the script in front of you. You can still feel the heat of his stare as you pretend to study your lines, neglecting the obvious truth that you’d been distracted by this man from the moment he walked in. 

He’s beautiful. Dangerously so, unbridled youth mixed with the right touch of reckless mischief, and a hint of danger. He’s more than his suit suggests he is. He all but smells of wealth, and your eyes glaze over with the thought of how much money it might have cost to buy that dark blue Giorgio Armani suit and sleek black Rolex. You’ve been watching him too. He clearly takes care of himself and seems to enjoy doing it. You can picture it all: the fancy tailors, exclusive barbers, personal drivers and chauffeurs, a butler, even. What you wouldn’t give to have a life light that, to not worry about your next meal or skip out on A/C for the summer to split your rent costs in half. You dropped nearly everything to move to London, and the job you’d secured at Shakespeare’s Globe wasn’t enough for you tp pay for rent and grad school tuition. You let yourself get lost in the fantasy you’ve created about this stranger, the idea of being able to live comfortably. It’s something you desire with every part of you. 

You bite your lip as you daydream, oblivious to the fact that the stranger has left his table and approached yours. He stands and watches you for a second, amused by how easily you seem to preoccupy yourself. You’re not like other women he’s met, he knows that already. And he’s quickly overcome by the desire to know everything there is to know about you, from your favorite movies to the way you take your tea. You sigh as you start to upset yourself with so much wishful thinking, causing the stranger to chuckle, a deep rumble vibrating through his chest. You jerk your head up toward the sound to be met with those beautiful green eyes, except they’re right across from you.

“Hello,” he says with a soft smile.

“H-Hi,” you stammer, completely caught off guard.

He’s even prettier up close. He gestures toward your neglected script.

“Looks like you’ve got a lot of lines to memorize. You’re an actor, then?”

You nod.

“Yes,” you answer. “Well, trying to be,” you correct.

He frowns.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’m in school for acting, but I haven’t done much actual work apart from the scenes I’m assigned in class. I’m prepping for an audition, actually.”

You cut yourself off before you start to ramble, but the stranger doesn’t seem to mind. He looks at you expectantly, like he wants to know if you’ve finished your thought. You bite your lip to hold back the sea of worries threatening to push back your lips. This man doesn’t need to know how terrified you are about auditioning, the possibility that all of this—applying to RADA, getting accepted, moving to London, all of it—would end up being a massive failure.

“You’re an actor if you act, yeah?” he asks, and your heart flutters at the kindness in his voice.

“Y-Yeah, I guess you’re right.” you say, aiming to infuse more confidence in your voice. 

He’s intimidating, but you won’t fold that easily. 

“I often am,” he hums before gesturing toward the seat across from yours. “May I join you?”

You almost do a double take. 

“Me?” you ask, not bothering to hide the shock in your voice.

The stranger smiles at you.

“Yes, you,” he answers, giving you that same smile.

“Sure.”

He slides the chair out from under the table before seating himself across from you.

“What play are you auditioning for?”

“Hamlet at the RSC,” you begin. “One of my professors at RADA knows the director and she told me that she thinks I may have a shot at being cast. I think it’s a fucking long shot but she’s scarily confident in me so I’m pushing myself to do it even though I’m terrified and—oh my god I’m so sorry! I was about to start going off the rails.”

He shakes his head. Up until you stopped yourself he’d been hanging on to your every word. 

“Don’t apologize, Miss…” he falters.

“Y/N! I’m sorry, I completely forgot to tell you my name.”

“It’s quite alright, Miss Y/N. I neglected to tell you mine as well,” he chuckles.

Almost immediately, you feel a familiar heat building in the pit of your stomach with the sound of his laugh. There’s no denying how attractive he is. You’d be kidding yourself to even try.

“I’m Michael,” he says, extending a hand across the table.

You reach out to shake it, but he pulls your hand toward his mouth instead, pressing a kiss to the skin. 

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Y/N,” he murmurs before releasing your hand from his grip.

Those green eyes are still fixed on yours and you resist the urge to flush and giggle uncontrollably like a schoolgirl. He’s a charmer, this one. You echo his pleasure of making your acquaintance, and Michael nods toward your script again. 

“What part are you auditioning for?”

You frown and look down at your hands. Should you tell him? Would he laugh and tell you that you were right to worry? Would he shake his head and wish you luck, pitying you all the while?”

“Y/N?” he calls.

You look up to find his eyes still fiercely trained on you. 

“What part are you auditioning for, love?”

“Hamlet,” you whisper. then brace yourself for his laughter.

Michael only looks at you with that curious interest from before.

“You must be quite the actress, then.”

That was not what you were expecting him to say.

“Huh?”

Michael smiles softly at you. He was right about you being different. Here you were, probably one of the most talented people he had ever met, and he can’t detect an ounce of arrogance from you. It was a nice change of pace from the world he was used to—one filled with people who would do anything to get ahead, even if that mean destroying a life. You’re nothing like that. You’re kind, humble. A touch insecure, he can tell, but adorably soft around the edges. You remind him of beautiful summer nights in the country, scenes from his boyhood after the orphanage, before he became a man committed only to his business. You’re something akin to home. 

“You got into RADA, did you not?” Michael asks.

You nod.

“And you’re not from here, yeah?”

Michael already knows this but he wants to hear where you’re from, from your own mouth. 

“No, from the States,” you answer. “Chicago.”

“Ahh, the Windy City,” he hums. “One of my favorites.”

This makes your eyes light up and the smile that crosses your lips is stunning. Michael decides right there that he wants to make you do that many, many times. 

“When’s the last time you’ve been?” you ask.

“It’s been too long, I’m afraid. Although, I’ve been looking for a reason to go back.”

You don’t miss the subtle drop in his voice, the veiled suggestive nature imbedded within. You dare to look in his eyes and find that they’re just as intense as before, but there’s something else hidden there. A desire that matches yours.

“Well, if you feel inspired to take a visit, I think you should. Who knows, we could see each other there, too.”

“I’d quite like that,” he says, and his gaze is so intense that you have to break away to look anywhere else. Just for a moment. You reach toward your teacup to find it empty. You must have drained it earlier without recognizing. 

“Would you like another one?”

You look up to find Michael nodding at your empty teacup.

“Oh, Michael, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

He smirks at you before reaching across the table to grab the empty cup from your hands. 

“I promise you, Y/N, it won’t set me back. It’s just a cup of tea, love.”

You nod, unable to meet his beautiful eyes. You don’t know if he’s trying to woo you on purpose but he’s doing a damned good job regardless.

“Thank you, Michael,” you manage to mutter.

He smiles at you again.

“Have you had anything to eat?”

Michael knows the answer to this as well. He’d noticed your teacup and your head buried in that script as soon as he walked in, but he doesn’t want to let on how he’d been taken with you almost immediately. Not yet. 

“No,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I needed the caffeine to power through these lines but I kind of forgot about food if I’m being honest.”

Michael nods. He’ll have to work on that with you. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says, and then he’s gone.

You watch as he walks toward the front counter, peering at the pastries behind a glass case before heading to the register. You watch the barista at the register blush as Michael opens his mouth to order, and you fight to suppress a giggle at the bored expression on his face. He knows how attractive he is; you’re sure of that. You wonder how often he encounters people who forget how to function when he’s around. 

Michael’s eyes find yours as he waits for your order, and he shoots a boyish wink at you before gesturing toward your lines. You shake your head and mock yawn. He grins. He’s just as eager to get back to the table and keep talking to you as you are for him to return. You relax into your seat as you watch him and sigh contentedly. You have no idea what the hell is going on, but you’re not complaining. Michael watches impatiently as the same barista from earlier fumbles her way through your order. Poor girl; you’d probably react just the same if you were in her place. She keeps batting her eyelashes and asking if he needs anything, to which he huffs in annoyance and scowls at her. It’s a reluctant game of cat and mouse, and you wonder if Michael might not be fond of attention. Eventually, the barista is able to get your order together, and you watch Michael pull a twenty pound note out of his wallet to slide across the counter to her. She all but faints at the sight of it, and you shake your head as Michael rolls his eyes and starts toward you. 

“I apologize for whatever the hell that was,” he greets, setting a fresh cup of tea and a chocolate-filled croissant in front of you.

“I thought it was cute. You’re cute when you’re flustered, that is,” you say, already reaching for the croissant.

Michael’s eyes are bright as he smirks at you.

“You think I’m cute?”

You roll your eyes at him.

“You obviously know you are.”

He chuckles. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever considered myself ‘cute’ in my life,” he jokes, relief settling into his skin as he watches you eat. 

“Well you can lie to yourself all you want but I said what I said.”

Michael’s eyebrows raise. So you have got a mouth on you after all. 

“Oh, is it like that?”

You watch as his tongue darts out to lick along his bottom lip and briefly lose yourself at the thought of having that same tongue somewhere else. 

“Thank you for entertaining the obviously infatuated barista to get me something to eat,” you say sincerely, and the mood shifts.

You are so unbelievably sweet, Michael thinks. He wants to corrupt you. Not yet, he tells himself. Not yet. Michael asks you more about how you made it to London, and you talk him through the whirlwind of your life post-undergrad. You had always intended on becoming a professional actor, but the road was hard and nothing was certain. You’d bounced around between part-time jobs to help your dad around the house as you transitioned into postgrad life, but you knew that wasn’t where you wanted to be. In your sophomore year of college, you got the opportunity to study Shakespeare in London for the summer and since then, you’d wanted to return: for grad school this time. You went out on a limb and applied to the Royal Academy of the Dramatic Arts—one of the hardest acting schools in London, let alone the world, to get into—and by some grace of god, you were admitted. You moved at once. Packed up your few belongings and took a one-way flight to London, your fancy new student visa gripped tightly in your hand. You wormed your way into a position as an administrative assistant at Shakespeare’s Globe, but had yet to land an acting gig whose stipend might help ease the burden of your constantly accumulating bills. You were one of the only Americans in your program, and while you were well-liked, you felt like you always had to prove yourself. It was a lot of pressure. 

“No wonder you’re so stressed about this audition,” Michael mutters, his beautiful face set in a frown.

You shrug. 

“If I get it, it’ll be amazing but if not I’ll figure something out. I have to.”

You look down at your teacup, keeping your eyes trained on the dark liquid to prevent budding tears from falling. Michael sighs. He takes the time to think about what he’s planning to offer, and measures his words. He doesn’t want to scare you off, but he wants to help. 

“Y/N, I—”

A shrill ring cuts him off. Michael rolls his eyes and pulls a cell phone from his pocket. He taps the screen before pressing it to his ear.

“Gray,” he answers.

You watch as he gets pulled into what is obviously a work call. He glances over at your half-eaten croissant.

Eat, he mouths.

“So bossy,” you whisper, picking up the pastry.

Brat, he mouths again, watching you start to eat the rest of the croissant. His assistant, Finn—also his younger cousin—was calling to remind him about a meeting with a client he’d definitely forgotten, and he couldn’t be bothered to care about it when you were sat in front of him. 

“I’ll be back to the office soon, Finn,” he groans. “We can talk about it there.”

Finn must say something snarky because Michael laughs before muttering ‘fuck off,’ and hanging up. 

“Sorry about that, love,” he apologizes. 

You shake your head.

“You’re a busy man I assume?”

He chuckles to himself. 

“You don’t know the half of it.”

You take the last bite of your croissant, and Michael hums to himself, happy that you’ve gotten something on your stomach. He clears his throat.

“I wanted to ask you something, Y/N.”

You smile at him before taking a sip of tea.

“Shoot.”

“What would you say if I offered to help out with your bills?”

You nearly choke on your tea.

“If you what?”

“Well, I was thinking earlier—when you were talking about school and making rent—that if I helped you out with that bit, things could be a little easier on you.”

He blushes crimson when he says it, green eyes searching yours. You shake your head.

“Michael, I could never pay you back for that.”

“You wouldn’t have to. I want to help you, Y/N.”

You sigh. 

“Can I…can I think about it? This is all a little…”

“Overwhelming?” he suggests.

“Yes,” you breathe. 

He smiles at you. 

“Take all the time you need, love.”

He reaches across the table to take your hand in his. 

“Let me build you something better, Y/N,” he whispers. 

You know that if you look into his eyes right now you will combust. You need to relieve the tension somehow. 

“You know,” you joke. “Sugar daddies are supposed to be old.”

Michael roars with laughter and you can’t help but giggle along wit him as people’s heads turn in your direction, the entirety of Starbucks now focused on your table tucked in the back corner. Even the flirty barista watches the two of you, eyeing your hand clasped in Michael’s, his thumb rubbing soft circles into your skin. 

“Is that what I’d be?” he asks, amused.

You giggle again.

“Pretty much.”

He rolls his eyes.

“I’m much more of a ‘sir’ than a ‘daddy,’ but I’ll play your game, sweet thing.”

Your heart hammers in your chest as his words take their effect on you. You look up to find him watching you, awaiting your next move. Before you can respond, his phone cuts through the conversation again.

“Fucking hell, Finn,” he growls, before he silences the ringer. 

“Can I see you again?” he asks, eyes back on yours. 

“I’d like that.”

“What are you doing Saturday night?”

A small smile crosses your lips as you look up at him through your lashes. 

“Going out with you.”

He grins at you before pulling his hand away from yours to grab his phone. He hands it to you. 

“Put your number in there. I’ll text you.”

You nod and type in your number before handing the phone back to him. He moves to stand up from the table, and your disappointment must show on your face because he smiles down at you. 

“I gotta head back to the office before Finn bloody tracks me down and drags me there himself,” he apologizes, reaching for the suit jacket he’d strung across the back of the chair.

You watch the fabric of his shirt flex and stretch around taut muscle as he shrugs the jacket on, and Michael doesn’t miss the way your teeth graze that plump bottom lip of yours. He’s just as attracted to you as you are to him, and he wants to tell Finn to piss off and spend the rest of the day chauffeuring you around the city and spoiling you absolutely rotten. It’s been a long time since he’s wanted someone like this, and Michael is thrilled that it’s you. He reaches down to cup your cheek in his hand.

“I’ll text you, yeah?”

You nod. Michael pulls away from you and gets his wallet from his pocket. He pulls out a business card and slides it over to you. He gives you one last wink before he’s gone, out of the Starbucks and into the busy London afternoon. You bring your teacup to your lips. The liquid inside has since grown cold but there’s a fire ablaze within you. Michael fucking Gray.

wanna be tagged in this series? click the link above!

[purrincess-chat]

7, 8 & 16 ☺️

I just did number 8

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Dammit, this would have been the perfect time for the dick line. Ya know, prose is something that I struggle with tbh. Sometimes when I’m writing it I feel like it’s literally the worst, but then I read back over it, and I’m like aight, it’s not god awful like I thought. I really feel like I appreciate my writing more as it ages. A lot of my favorite bits are from old fics. But to answer your question, I have always been really fond of the way I handled Chloe in Lady du Coeur way back when. You can’t find this online anymore (except maybe if you dig on this blog or maybe my main I don’t remember at what point in LC I made this one), but just this whole scene was something I was really proud of at the time and still am, and truthfully this development is why I want to figure this fic out someday:

Chloe finished her coffee, and they continued on toward her house in awkward silence, and for once, she didn’t feel the need to fill it with meaningless words. Neither of them were really in the mood for small talk anymore, both too preoccupied with their own unhappiness. When they reached her small home, she pulled him into a tight hug which he allowed willingly for probably the first time ever.

“Thanks for letting me vent,” He mumbled softly. “I know I’m just being selfish, but...”

“It’s okay,” She shook her head and pulled back. “Give it time. You’re a great guy, and she’ll see that eventually.”

“Thanks, Chlo,” He smiled, taking a step back and shoving his hands back into his pockets. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, Adrien…” She bit her lip as her heart sped up in her chest. He paused and turned back to her, curiously tilting his head to one side. “I love you.”

Her words didn’t faze him even a little, and he smiled that warm, familiar smile that she so often daydreamed about.

“I love you too, Chloe.” And as she watched him walk up the street, her chest burned with confirming grief.

After saying it to him for so many years, she wasn’t surprised by his automatic answer. After all, he’d never known the true emotion she was hoping to convey each time she said it, so why would he now? It’s not like he’d ever felt that way about her which surprisingly didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. He wasn’t hers. He never had been, and he never would be. That was something she’d known for years even if she’d never wanted to admit it. No, the hurt came in finally giving up. In letting go of her fantasy. Adrien was all she’d ever known of love, and now she wasn’t entirely sure she knew anything anymore. Just like Adrien’s heart was incapable of loving anyone but Marinette, would her heart ever let go of him?

Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn’t.

Of course she didn’t seem to think so as she spent a good portion of the night screaming into her pillow while her helpless father attempted to pat her back and offer reassuring advice until he ultimately gave up and left her to her own devices. Her life was in shambles, and now her heart was too. She’d become so reduced from the person she once was that the red-eyed, puffy-faced girl standing in front of her in the mirror didn’t seem like her at all, and the longer she stared the more unsure she became. Who was she? Without her wealth, without her power, without Adrien.

She glanced at the scissors in the drawer with a decisive frown and picked them up. It was time for a change, and with each snip, blonde waves floated to the floor until she became someone else. The old Chloe was dead and gone, and a new one was being reborn in her skin.  

Losing her luxurious life was one nail in that coffin.

Snip.

Getting a job at Marinette’s bakery was another.

Snip.

Becoming friends with her long-time enemy, making amends for her past behavior.

Snip-snip.

Meeting Hunni. Becoming Queen Bee.

Snip.

And finally, losing Adrien.

She set the scissors down, and looked at the face again in the mirror. Her eyes were pained, but filled with determination. The old Chloe had no place in her life anymore. She was tired of letting her past haunt her, of letting everyone shove her mistakes in her face. It was time to become someone else, to shed her skin and find a new Chloe Bourgeois, or maybe the Chloe Bourgeois she was always meant to be. And as she examined the remaining waves still framing her face, she placed her hands on her hips and smiled.

It was a place to start.

This was back before we knew Pollen’s name, so I named her kwami Hunni. And truthfully if I ever get back around to rewriting this fic, I’ll probably leave it as Hunni cause she is a much different character and it’s important for Chloe’s growth. I really liked how I developed her in this fic, and she is still my favorite version of Chloe that I have written a redemption for. I feel like I struck a good balance with her in this one. Too bad I hated almost everything else about that fic hence why you can’t find it anymore. I took it all down. I kind of edited up and posted the first chapter again when I intended to rewrite it again way back, but I was so back and forth on what I wanted for it, so it’s just been sitting. If you all asked me nicely I would probably upload the old version somewhere for you all to read again if you really wanted. It would probably just be a google doc that I share on this blog or something, but fair warning, it is unfinished. I think I made it to chapter 16 originally. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

16. If you could only write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Adrinette. Hands down. I’m a weak bitch, and we all know. 

[lilyenandsain]

I daydream a LOT. And i really mean a lot, i will daydream every free second i have. I actually tell myself good night stories to help me sleep. I do it so much that i actually cant stop it anymore, i cant controll it i will just daydream the moment i get the chance to.

Most of the time i daydream about a couple named Lilyen and Sain. No matter how much i love the couples of my favorite mangas, they will forever be my favorite couple since they are so adorable together. I dont even know when i started to dream about them, but its been definitly a few years. I started this blog to kind of write down my dreams of them, to help my brain organise my dreams and build this world. Someday i maybe want to write or draw a comic about them. My Brain always changed the story of these two, but a few parts never changed.

The both of them always lived in a fantasy world, though it often changed what type of role they had in there. Sain always had some form of darkness and shadow magic and was pretty strong, while Lilyen often used light or holy magic and was stronger than Sain but she often lost her power or memories in my dreams. A short summary of my favorite little couple: Sain: doesnt like talking or smiling, has a hard time showing emotions and needs a lot of time to warm up to people, he just doesnt care most of the time unless it is about Lilyen, he is incredible overprotective and would like to hold her in his times all day long to make sure that she is alright, he really likes to carry her around and have a lot of physical contact with her, he is completly loyal to her and would do anything for her even if it means killing himself Lilyen: She is always seems a bit of a happy, naive and cute person, Sain and her look like a wild beast and a pet rabbit, though she is a lot more dangerous than him, while she often tries her best helping out everyone and seems like a kind and amzing person she actually doesnt really care for anyone (except Sain), She can read Sain like a book and uses that to make sure that he is alright since he would never say anything himself The both of them kinda look like a beast and a pet rabbit though the real roles are reversed. Sain is actually kind of a wholesome type of person who just doesnt like to talk and has a resting bitch face. Lilyen looks like the cutest thing in the world, and mostly acts like that but she honestly doesnt care for anyone or anything, but she will help everyone just because she knows that Sain would like to but is just to akward.

[wroteclassicaly]

Uh, what to call this? My tips on stuff? Thot tutorial? I guess I'll leave it untitled, lol. Requested by @codylangdon, just a little of me sharing my smut tips or my methods when I get stuck writing.

I'm honored you asked, honestly. I hope what I share is okay? I'm a basic messy bitch, hah! <3 So without further ado, I present my tips & my methods :

------

~ How to smut ~

- My main rule is realism. You have to be realistic. Yes, this is fantasy, but part of what that entails is keeping it realistic, so the reader is more connected. If it's overboard, tacky, it takes the reader out of the headspace they're seeking. If you write for Harry Potter, AHS, then obviously they're more prone to being expanded. But you still keep those worlds as realistic as you can.

Ex: Hermione is a witch, but she is also a human woman. Harry is a wizard, but also a man. You want to write within that world exactly how it is, so the reader can feel as if they're there, without being distracted if it's too much.

The sex itself. It's fantasy, yes, but you also need to be realistic on the human body. You cannot have a cock hit your cervix with pleasure. I can't stress the word realistic / realism enough! Don't overdo it by overriding facts.

- Research. RESEARCH! I can't stress this enough. Especially writing sex. Yes, magic sex, ritual sex, those are fantasy. Fiction is fantasy, but that's no excuse to get sloppy and ridiculous. If you don't know something, read about it, look it up, watch scenes in a show or movie, read articles.

For example, I use Kama Sutra sex positions, men's GQ, Cosmopolitan articles, other stuff as research material. If I don't understand a kink, a position, a mechanic, or a sex toy? I look it up. Realism checks in here again. Anything you don't have firsthand experience with, RESEARCH or seek advice from a friend who does.

- There's no general way to write smut. Each writer is different, because each person is. Even their readers might be. I think of what I want, how I'm feeling, what my readers want, and I put myself into the headspace of that world. With a good playlist and a free spirit, you mostly just write out your fantasies.

I suggest writing when you're turned on. That produces the sharpest pieces. ;) I come at writing my smut how I write anything that goes with it, and everything else : I just get into it. I can edit and make sense of it later. Usually when I let my inhibitions go, that's when I write my best stuff.

- Have kinks, prompts, imagines, kink hour, drabbles, mini paragraphs to post. You don't have to shell out full fics 24/7. And challenge your readers to send you those things. Fic asks, reader requests, all IMPORTANT. Your readers are just as much a part of things as you, even bringing ideas to your attention.

It's rewarding for both sides. And it keeps your inspiration high and your blog active.

- Know your own limits and what is appropriate. Common sense for that. Don't write stuff that isn't right. You know what isn't.

- Have fun! And remember, you CAN be a serious author if you just write erotica or mostly that. It's just as much valuable as anything else. Don't let anyone shame your thirst. I'm a virgin and I love this shit. So.... :)

~ Now, when I get stuck?? ~

Coming off a nine year block with barely any writing, well, not as much as I'd like, this is a writer's heaviest subject. One of them anyways. There's no real way to cure this. Sometimes it's a matter of waiting, BUT, there are ways you can help inspire and push yourself.

- Have a playlist. The climax of a song, the lyrics of one, it can all of a sudden tug the biggest line of inspiration, a sentence, idea, paragraph, anything. Music is key.

- Take writing sprints or prompts. Do mini ideas. You aren't obligated to overdo it. Anything you create is something.

- Set down a few times a day, take breaks in between if you feel like you're pushing too hard. Do it in intervals so you don't burn out. Editing isn't priority right now. Even if it's a mess, just go with the flow. That often produces some magical shit.

Shit being good. Grand, even.

- Watch a movie or a tv show for whatever fandom you're in. Something that inspires what you are writing, even original stories. Ex : I watch Michael scenes to hear his voice, relish in his presence to really throw myself back in. This includes love scenes.

- If real life is affecting you, CHANNEL it. Readers take this to heart so much. Write it into the story or wherever you need to.

- Know when to give yourself breaks. And don't beat yourself up. Go at your own pace.

- Daydream. That is fuel to the fire.

- Always have something nearby to write ideas down. A napkin, anything you can see clearly on.

- Look around you. Ideas form when you least expect them. Sometimes your surroundings provide that.

------

If I can think of more, then I'll add later, but yeah, that's about it. I'm not an expert by any means. These are the things I do that have helped. I hope they help anyone who reads this and writes or wants to write. Don't be afraid to go for it! <3 - Kristen

[mst3kproject]

Short: Once Upon a Honeymoon

           When I started this blog I really wasn’t planning to do anything with the shorts.  Mr. B Natural changed all that by being impossible to ignore, so here I am, coming back around to episodes I’ve already seen so that I can visit the shorts that precede them.  I’ve seen Night of the Blood Beast many, many times, and every time I do, this short makes a bigger impression than the movie.  It’s so colourful.  So catchy. So sexist.  So fucking weird.

           Jeff and Mary are a wholesome fifties couple who are just about to go on their honeymoon when they get a phone call – the score Jeff wrote for a musical doesn’t meet the star’s approval, and his boss, Gordon, wants him to come up with a new melody!  Lucky Jeff’s guardian angel, Wilbur, is around to provide him with some inspiration… except that instead of inspiring Jeff to write music, Wilbur’s angel dust inspires Mary to daydream about redecorating her house and putting telephones in every room.  Finally, the sound of the rotary phone gives Jeff an idea for his music. He dashes off a tune in five minutes, and he and Mary head out to have a wholesome fifties honeymoon with wholesome fifties sex.

           I assume that the original version of the ‘wishing song’ is the one Mary sings to herself while making coffee.  If so, I’m not sure what’s wrong with it, because it seems an awful lot more memorable than the final version we’re given at the end – it’s the one I’m humming to myself right now as I type this.  Ah, well.

           In the Thanksgiving version of the episode, Pearl gives Dr. Forrester the short and tells him it’s about ‘telephones or some damn thing’.  There are, indeed, many telephones in this short. Wilbur the guardian angel keeps one under his robe.  Jeff’s boss Gordon has one with speakerphone, which I can only assume was considered technological wizardry in 1956.  Jeff and Mary have one in their living room, and Mary’s fantasy home has telephones in the kitchen and bedroom, too.  The short was sponsored by Bell, so one must assume it’s supposed to be advertising phones in some capacity.

But Once Upon a Honeymoon kind of makes more phones look like a bad idea. True, his portable phone allows Wilbur the angel to keep in touch with heaven while he’s out on a job, but the short also looks ahead to the disadvantages of having telephones everywhere.  As long as you’ve got a phone near you all the time, it’s impossible not to take your work home with you.  If Jeff and Mary didn’t have a telephone, they could have gone on their honeymoon and Jeff’s boss would simply have had to wait until he got back.  The self-important diva who’d rejected the song in the first place wouldn’t have been able to call up and bother them.  If ignorance is bliss, then more phones equals entirely too much knowledge.

           Then there’s Gordon’s attitude towards re-writing the song, as if he’s asking Jeff to run down to the corner for coffee instead of, you know, writing an entire two-to-five-minute piece of music over again from scratch.  This speaks to a point I already made in my review of The Stone Flower – people who don’t make art often don’t understand that it is hard work.  Gordon says, you must have a dozen old tunes sitting around, as if he can’t imagine that there might be reasons why Jeff rejected these, or that they might not fit into the soundscape of the show.  Worse, both Gordon and his star, Sonia, keep calling Jeff’s house impatiently to ‘see how it’s coming’.  Apparently it never occurs to either of them that constant interruptions are not very inspiring.

           All this makes me wonder: if Wilbur’s job is to give Jeff inspiration so he can get this obstacle out of the way and go on his honeymoon, why does he instead inspire Mary to sing about telephones?  This doesn’t seem like an accident – she says I just wish I had a decent kitchen! and he smiles and sprinkles his angel dust to make her dream of one.  Maybe he’s keeping her occupied so she can’t join the chorus nagging Jeff to get on with it, but it didn’t seem like she would have done that anyway.  The film implies that Mary has spent the day keeping busy and staying out of Jeff’s way to let him work.

           Mary’s behaviour in the short has always struck me as odd, but when I think about it, it’s not just what she’s doing – it’s also what she’s not doing.  I can accept that she’s twirling around and singing about her desire to renovate the kitchen, because that sort of thing goes on in short advertising films from the 50’s.  What I’m confused about is why her badly-decorated home is her primary complaint on a day when she’s just been told she might not be going on her honeymoon.

           The honeymoon is clearly a big deal to this couple.  They’ve waited until a year after their wedding, which implies that they don’t have a lot of money and have had to save up.  Jeff secured a promise from his boss that he would have the time off – a promise the man seems happy to break without a moment’s lost sleep. Jeff is bitterly disappointed and annoyed by this development, calling Gordon a ‘vulture’ and Sonia a ‘temperamental ballerina’.  We see him sulk, skip lunch, chainsmoke, and bang on the piano in frustration.

           Mary doesn’t express anything similar, which is weird because it’s her honeymoon, too.  She’s been waiting for it just as long as Jeff has.  She’s got the bags packed and the place cleaned up in preparation for them to leave.  When in the same room as her husband she is supportive, trying to encourage him while ignoring his bad mood for fear of making it worse – this seems like a sensible way to treat a grouchy artist.  But even in private, she shows no sign that the delayed honeymoon has upset her.  Jeff talks back to Gordon on the phone, while Mary is polite and cheerful with Sonia. Mike and the bots try to fill in what is missing here, as for example when they have Mary call the other woman a copper-bottomed bitch, but that just makes the absence more conspicuous.

           If Mary wishes she had a kitchen phone, shouldn’t it be so she can call her friend Vy and complain about the situation without Jeff having to listen to her? If she’s going to fantasize herself into a musical, why doesn’t it involve the sandy beaches and romantic dinners she’s missing out on?  Mary literally has greater patience than an angel – the chief angel gets far more frustrated with Wilbur than Mary is with anything!

           The answer, as you may have guessed by now, is that it’s because Mary is not a character.  She’s just here to sell us telephones.  Although she gets the majority of the screen time, the only characters in this little film are Jeff and the two angels – they’re the ones who display some form of personality.  The rest are mere stock figures: a Demanding Boss, a Prima Donna, and a Perfect Wife.

           Mary has no opinion about the honeymoon because the ideal housewife should not want vacations or sexual fulfillment – all she’s supposed to want is to cook meals and clean house and be support staff for her husband.  This is Mary’s fantasy: a redecorated home and fully-equipped kitchen that will allow her to be an even better housewife, and to impress her friends and neighbours with her superior domesticity (as in the phone conversation she imagines with Vy).  She has no ambitions or desires outside of Jeff. The ideal housewife of the 50’s is not a person in her own right, merely an accessory to her husband.

           This extends to the bedroom, which she imagines as having twin beds rather than one large enough for a couple.  This was pretty standard in the media of the time, but it seems to imply that her fantasy life doesn’t even include sex.  Female sexuality was a taboo topic in the first half of the twentieth century, and sex was supposed to be a duty wives performed, lying back and thinking of England, rather than something they actively wanted.  Mary’s fantasy includes neither children nor any room for them.  Children would just make a mess of her beautiful, squeaky-clean new home.  She doesn’t want to be a mother, she only wants to be a wife.

           The house is Mary’s entire world.  She does not leave it until the end, when Jeff literally carries her out. Although she receives telephone calls from Gordon, from Sonia, and from her possibly imaginary friend Vy, the only time Mary makes one is when Jeff orders her to.  She never initiates contact with the outside, only reacts to it and to her husband’s wishes concerning it… which is actually really creepy. It’s like women are zoo animals kept in habitats designed to stimulate them and keep them in ignorance of the idea of freedom.

           Am I reading way too much into a little film that’s just supposed to make me want to buy a second telephone?  Yes, I’m pretty sure I am, but I’m also pretty sure real women don’t normally fantasize about kitchen appliances.  In the interests of science, I tried to take a survey of my co-workers to find out what their fantasies are.  The first one I asked told me she thinks about meeting a guy at a party, getting him falling-down drunk, then taking him home and putting on a penguin costume before getting into bed with him.  The idea was that when the guy woke up, he would see the strategic hole cut in the penguin costume and think drunk-him had slept with a furry.

           On second thought, I’m happy with Mary’s new kitchen.  I don’t want to see a short where somebody sings about that.

[daebakinc]

Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day!

Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day! I’m planning on dropping notes some writers’ inboxes as well  (and you should too!), but I also wanted to help them get more love!

To all of you fanfic writers, thank you so much for blessing all of us on this site with your talent, dedication, and love for our kpop girls and boys. I know it’s hard to keep up writing with busy schedules, life events, and other chaos of the world, but you all carry on. There’s also been a lot of hate going around to the people who deserve it the least, so I’d like to tell those of you who this has happened to to ignore those ingrates and write what you love and at your own leisure. We in your writing family will support you. Anyway, before I get too carried away, thank you again and happy writing!

@an-exotic-writer Mostly BTS oneshots. Missy has to be one of the sweetest people on the planet and somehow her writing is even fluffier than she is. Her oneshots are perfect no matter the theme, intricate snapshots of complex relationships that are ultimately goals. Recommended: 50 kisses series (although her baby jeon series will make you die of fluff!!!)

@causekpop  Multifandom scenarios, including BTS, BAP, EXO, GOT7 and Monsta X. Her tags are some of the best. Seriously, read them. Of course, her scenarios and drabbles are even better! Recommended: Born Survivor

@duizhangdeluxe​  EXO scenarios, lots of AUs. Mama Duck! A sweetheart whose writing is as magic as the stars and dragons she loves. Her works are some of the most original I’ve seen here and no matter the member, I devour the story. Recommended fic: Suhobot series

@floralseokjin BTS scenarios. I’ve only been following for a few months but it’s long enough to be blown away by this blog. There are tons of details and twists that will have you yelling at your screen for various reasons. You’ll also probably fall for Jin, because her love for him really shines through. Recommended fic: A Fragment

@idol-daydreams​  Multifandom scenarios, including some gender neutral. Jay will tell you his writing style is too simple, but don’t let him fool you. He’s an excellent writer. The simplicity of his style is why I love it. He strips away unnecessary words and flourishes so you can enjoy the raw emotion in each scenario. Recommended fic: A Wrathful God

@i-would-rather-be-queen​  Multifandom reactions and oneshots. , including 2pm, BAP, CNBlue, VIXX, and many more. Kels is like a big sister to each of her followers, a very talented big sister. I very much feel like she can read people well and she’s very creative in what themes she chooses to pursue in her writing. Recommended: Tender Heart

@jeonjagiya​  Iris has to be one of the most patient and intelligent people on this site. Her scenarios and very insightful into human emotions and the human experience, but at the same time incredibly relate-able. On top of her writing, she’s always willing to give the kind of no-sugar coating advice that people truly need. Recommended fic: Transference

@keypea Multifandom scenarios and oneshots, including Monsta X and EXO. Her scenarios are gold, but it’s her drabbles that captured my attention. I seriously want every one to be a full blown scenario or series. Recommended fic: Starting Fires

@melodic-reverie Multifandom reactions. If I ever doubt I’m writing an idol true to their character, I hop over to this blog to see if they have a similar reaction. The wide range of groups and situations are all well-thought and passionate.

@modestlydreaming: Multifandom scenarios and oneshots, including Monsta X and EXO. Don’t forget to congratulate her on getting married recently! Another AU queen. It honestly doesn’t matter who she writes, I am on top of every AU because they feel very real. The fantasy related ones are particularly inventive and delightful. Recommended fic: Hunted

@ricepot-jisung  BTS scenarios, but I think she’s planning on become multifandom in the near future? Rams is a precious, insanely talented bun who needs protection. I’m really glad she decided not to delete despite assholes heckling her because her fics are ones I keep coming back to. I’m a fluffy person, but her angst is irresistible and you should be prepared to cry your eyes out because her writing makes you feel so much. Recommended: After Hours

@rosegukk   BAP scenarios and oneshots. I’ll admit, I’m only a recent follower, but I am so so glad I found her. BAP needs all the love and she gives it to them through her work in aus I never would have thought of. If you want something novel and well-written, check her out! Recommended fic: A Field of Flowers

@sexonextdoor  Multifandom NSFW rankings/imagines. I don’t know how this blog churns out so much, but it does, and the quality is all top notch. If you need to dirty your mind in the best, most delicious way, go here.

@tayegi BTS scenarios. Another lovey lady whose higher intelligence is clear in every story. Lu’s honest and has a wry sense of humor that keep every bit of her writing amusing and insightful into human nature. I hope she knows I love her stories as much as she loves cheetos. Recommended fic: Equilibrium

@thesammtimes  Multifandom scenarios, including EXO, 2pm, Monsta X, GOT7 and BTS. Let me just first say I’m really proud of Sam. She’s been very upfront about her mental health and life choice struggles, but she’s thriving! I do have a warning for you though: you will fall in love with every idol she writes about, bias or no, bias group or no. She’s that good. Recommended fic: Bounty

@versigny Multifandom scenarios. If you need a new spin on an old trope or just a fresh fic, look no further. She weaves minute details into her stories that some writers end up making tedious, but here, they develop the characters in amazing ways so each story a rich tapestry.Recommended fic: The Take-Home Test

@writingseoul Multifandom scenarios including BAP and BTS. Y'all really have no idea how happy I was when I saw this lovely came back! I go back to this blog time and time again to read fics that aren’t even for my biases. The way she writes the characters makes them more complex than some in published books I’ve read. Recommended fic: 3AM

Here are some other writers whose work I’m still getting to know but they still deserve recognition. 

Multifandom Reactions: @flowerpotfanfics BAP: @chemical–chaos BTS: @btsboyinluv, @btssmutgalore, @gukvory, @jheartseok, @kitten-dont, @mintsyubbie, @daeguilt, @stillgotmydignitae, @taecup

EXO: @i-write-storiesandsuch, @olionheartedgirlo, @soobadnoonecanstopher, @theboyswhomwelove VIXX: @onlyvixxscenarios, @vixxenarios Multifandom Scenarios: @thelilyamongstthethorns , @deliriousscenarios, @fromthe-seoul, @after-you-fall-asleep, @spcywolf, @lunarimagines, @thisisjustmywritingblog, @xhixtape, @coffee-and-kpop, @iq-biased , @awkwardturtle486, @noonachronicles, @hoenytae, @imagination-of-a-melted-bitch, @onlylovekpop, @after-you-fall-asleep , @awkwardturtle486,@craft-rose ,

[kaquiche]

cassie ilysm and I loved reading your answers 💕 for a sec I was like did she really tag me first twilight blog answer but on in the im tagging section but then I realized that I'm blind n stupid

what would you name your next pet: I have a list of pet names for my sims games and some of my faves are fruitcup, steve, forklift, nandor the relentless, and juice box. can u notice a pattern?

how much do u relate to your zodiac sign: (sagittarius) more or less! sags are supposed to be extroverted which I def am not

favorite smell: lavender, campfire smoke, fresh baked goods

what Harry Potter character do you relate to the most: I was of course an insufferable Hermione

what do you google most: random photos to download or imdb cast lists to figure out where the hell I saw that actor before

song you'd sneak into the twilight soundtrack: a hozier song of course!!! personally I would put work song in there because it's such a sweet love song imo

who's the first twilight blog you remember interacting with: oh god cassie I have a horrible memory why would u ask this uhhhhhh probably @emmettmccartycullen vans my dearest 💕

if you never had to sleep what would you do with all your time: learn languages, read, make arts n crafts

you robbed the cullens, what's the first thing you'd buy with carlisles credit card: id pay off my student debt 😭

a random job you'd never pursue but in this life but think you'd be good at: I recent started doing wheel thrown ceramics for a class and im actually pretty good at it!! I would pursue it as a career per say but I'd do it as a hobby

what would you wear if you were meeting rosalie hale in real life: something that makes me feel like a bad bitch. I feel like none of my current clothes are good enough for Ms hale and idek what look I'd go for. I bought a corset that should be coming in soon so maybe that

besides twilight whats your comfort series: percy jackson!!!! please talk to me about it!!! I just read all the books for the first time last summer and I've been fucking obsessed

when you daydream what fantasies have you constructed: cassie how dare u fucking call me out like this ughhhhh I daydream that I'm a princess and emmett is a gardener that works at the castle and we fall in love ok there are u happy???

you live in a cottage in the woods - what color would you paint it/what would it look like: I'd probably paint it a natural color like a light tan or white or something idk but it would be absolutely surrounded by plants. I wouldn't want ivy growing on it bc I know it's cute but it's actually really bad for the structure

the song you'd sing if you were doing karaoke: everytime we touch by cascada, the original bop

what animal would be your sidekick: my dog jakey, a black cat, or a mf bear!!! im trying to convince my DM to let my tiefling ranger character have a baby bear as their companion

the first twilight series line that comes to mind: don't drink it its for the

plants

I'm tagging @twilightofficial @inthemiddleofmymidnight @phil-dwyer-stan-account @emmettmc-heart-y @emmettsmantiddies @paulxlahotee @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @bellaskhakis @teamjacobthot @the-golden-onion @cullen-collective @emmettmccartycullen @bellas-dumptruck-ass @bellasredchevy @edwardsvirginity @anagonyeet @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @comradeemmettmccarty

17 questions, 17 people – the REMIX *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

here’s a revamped 17 questions tag game hehe

what would you name your next pet: in this exact moment it’d be winky, sookie, or maui

how much do you relate to your zodiac sign: very much so

favorite smell: vanilla & freshly baked pastries

what harry potter character do you relate to the most: hermione granger. annoying virgo solidarity

what do you google the most: vocabulary 100%

song you’d sneak onto the twilight soundtrack: i have an entire playlist dedicated to the twilight soundtrack, but right now i’d say creepin’ by hayley williams or once more to see you by mitski

who’s the first twilight blog you remember interacting with: i remember interacting w @leahclearwaterdefensesquad first!! also the first follower i remember having is @kaquiche but the first real convo i had was w @inthemiddleofmymidnight but this is all based on memory it may not be fact

if you never had to sleep what would you do all with your time: i think i’d hate never being able to sleep but i’d probably watch tv/movies or read. the same things i do when i’m awake. ooh i’d write!

you robbed the cullens. what’s the first thing you’d buy with carlisle’s credit card for yourself: i would buy a bunch of equipment i need like a drone but also the greatest excitement would be to buy a bunch of clothing hehe

a random job you’d never pursue in this life but think you’d be good at: i think acting would be fun as well as writing a book series but i certainly don’t have the talent or drive. i have all the writing but none of the lore. so in another life if i’d invested more time in developing these skills, i think i’d enjoy it

what would you wear if you were meeting rosalie hale in real life: nothing. no i’m kidding currently i’d wear a brown corset top i got and these brown flared pants i’m waiting to come in basically i’d like to look super hot so she knows she should date me.

besides twilight what’s your comfort series: fuck jk rowling but harry potter. it is everything to me

when you daydream what fantasies have you constructed: pls this question is so embarrassing why did i ask it hdfjdhfj i definitely have specific fantasies when i’m listening to music where i am a POP STAR ahh jdhhhfj or a lead singer in a band… do i have the talent?? absolutely not

you live in a little cottage in the woods – what color would you paint it/what would it look like: lavender or a light pink or a light yellow or a light green or brown i guess i cannot decide. what if i repaint it every three months. cute lil windows and stones going up the side along w greenery. anything that could belong in a shirley barber puzzle book

the song you’d sing if you were doing karaoke: god if i wouldn’t butcher it i’d do anything from mariah carey or lauryn hill or these words by natasha bedingfield ok i’m coming up w a list of options and just know in real life i’d NEVER EVER have the nerve nor the voice to pull this off: no scrubs or creep by TLC, ex-factor by lauryn hill, killing me softly with his song, fantasy or emotions by mariah carey, love by keyshia cole (this is truly laughable that i’d even say this) why did i ask this question

what animal would be your animal sidekick: would love a sweet doe but that’d be too conspicuous, a witty & perhaps black cat, or some kind of fuzzy cute rodent

the first twilight series line that comes to mind: where the hell have you been loca

tagging the angels who tagged me in the original tag game @witchyangela @rosaalee @carlislesscarf @edytheelizabethcullen @whytwilight @volturialice along w @bellaskhakis @inthemiddleofmymidnight @the-golden-onion @carllisle @notquitetwilight @stregoni-benefici @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @lemonadebottlecap @paulxlahotee @renegadepack @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @kaquiche

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross