#this is a SERIOUS fucking matter going on right now

[monstersflashlight]

Advent calendar: Day 17. Carrots

A/N: Kinda related, kinda not, but you should watch “Hot Frosty” on Netflix if you haven’t, totally recommend it (it’s very ridiculous in the best way possible). Sorry for all the awful dialogue you are about

Snowman x fem!reader || questionable use of vegetables, temperature play (kinda), mentioned overstimulation

When your witch friend asked you to build a snowman with her, you thought nothing of it. It would be fun, the snow was fresh and everyone seemed cheerful around you as you built his round body. Your friend, though… She made hers to look a bit more realistic, less round and more angular, in a way that was giving uncanny valley vibes. But you thought nothing of it, why would you?

When she asked if you liked him, you started to suspect there was something special about him, but again, you thought nothing of it. And when she used the carrot to make a dick instead of a nose, you almost peed yourself laughing. It was just so stupid looking, all white and round but with a big carrot dick… You should have known better.

And then he showed up, alive and walking, knocking on your door and staring up and down at you like he was about to fuck you right there. His carrot dick was erected and pointing straight at you. You gaped at him as he smiled, stroking his dick slowly. You gaped some more, your eyes accidentally traveling down. That was an amazing carrot…

No. Behave, you cannot fuck a snowman, you tried to remind myself.

“Wait here,” you told the snowman, who only nodded. You grabbed your phone and dialed your friend. “Why there’s a living snowman at my door, dude?!” You screamed at her as soon as she picked up. The poor dude was looking at you as if you were his dream come true.

“Calm down, you seemed very lonely and I had a bit of extra magic lately… So I gave you my Christmas gift early. Do you like him? Have you tried him yet?”

“Have I tri- What the fuck?!” You must be dreaming, there was no way that was happening to you. You pinched yourself and blinked, but the snowman was still in front of you and your friend was still talking.

“He’s ready for you, darling. He wants to treat you like the queen you deserve to be,” she explained, almost bored. You wanted to pull her hair until she was bald.

“You did not send me a sex snowman,” you repeated, trying to make sense of what you were seeing and hearing.

“I did. Now I have to go, have fun!” She said before hanging up on you.

“We are not fucking,” you told him, your frown so deep you could see your eyebrows.

“I’m going to feed my carrot to your hungry bunny,” he deadpanned, in a tone that you supposed was intended to sound sexy. It didn’t. You struggled not to laugh, but his face was so serious you couldn’t do that to him, he looked so hopeful.

You stared at him, his hand lazily stroking his carrot once again. You felt your face blushing. You really needed to get laid, your pussy was getting wet about a snowman and a carrot… But you had more pressing matters than your wet pussy.

“One: you can’t say things like that. And two: we aren’t going to fuck.” His face fell and he stopped moving his hand, making you almost sad. Dang.

“Why not? I can smell your juices.” He could what? “You are hot for me and I’m cold for you, we should do something about it.” How desperate were you that he sounded right? You did want to fuck a snowman… Fuck, there was something so, so wrong inside of you because you were considering taking him on the offer.

“I- We- You are a snowman,” you let out, not really having a point.

“And you are a human, but my carrot is very hard for you.” You chuckled, the absurdity of it all getting to you. But most of all, your strength to hold back disappeared with that affirmation. He was made for you, and you were very horny, and his carrot looked especially delicious right now…

“Okay,” you agreed, your pussy almost clapping with enthusiasm. It had been a long time since you were properly fucked and you were feeling the need for sure.

“Okay? Are you… are you sure?” He suddenly seemed very confused about your decision, as if all his bravado died the second you agreed to fuck him. You wanted to coo at him, but you decided there was a better choice.

You walked to him and kissed his half open mouth. He was cold, but at the same time his lips felt like velvet against yours as you devoured his mouth. He gave as much as received, deepening the kiss and circling your body with his arms. You were pressed firmly against his front and your nipples instantly hardened, he was so cold in such a pleasurable way… You didn’t even know you had something for temperature play but good snowman if your pussy wasn’t quivering thinking about his hard carrot pocking your stomach.

You parted, looking at him intently, but when you didn’t find any doubt in his eyes, your choice was already made. “Fuck me, my snowman,” you almost pleaded, your voice trembling as your pussy pulsated at the same rhythm as your heart.

“Your wish is my command.” He laid you on the floor, right in the middle of your living room. “Are you ready for my carrot?” He asked, as you tried not to giggle. You nodded, fearing if you opened your mouth you would laugh and he wouldn’t give you his dick. And you needed it. You needed it so, so bad.

He entered you in one long thrust and you cried out in ecstasy. The contrast between your warm body and his cold skin was exhilarating and arousing, sending you to the stratosphere of pleasure. You didn’t know what was about to happen, but the size and shape of his carrot ended up being fantastic. The almost pointy tip played with your cervix as the wide base made your pussy clench around it, rubbing against your G-spot in the most amazing way. It was the perfect sex toy, even better, he was like a breathing sex-toy and that made your brain turn a bit fuzzy at the edges, arousal so big it was maddening.

He started a punishing pace, his dick going in and out of you so fast and hard your whole body was moving across the floor. You had to hold onto the carpet (carpet burn be damned) to be still as he pounded into your welcoming heat. He kept moaning how warm and wet you were, how good your heat felt against his cold… And you could only chant “yes, yes, yes” as he kept going.

And when you came like a tidal wave, your whole body convulsing as he kept fucking you. He didn’t stop, he fucked you through it as he used his cold fingers to rub your clit, making you ascend in your pleasure even higher. You screamed his name, pulling at his ice hair and trying to hold for dear life as you kept coming and coming…

And he kept going.

He fucked you many more times that night, his stamina endless as he kept using his clever carrot to pound into your G-spot as his cold fingers pinched your clit until you couldn’t hold back orgasm after orgasm. It was the most intense pleasure you’d ever felt, and by the time you asked for a rest, he was smirking down at you, the smugness in his face making your overused pussy twitch in anticipation.

And then you remembered… You had to thank your friend. Damn it.

[angelpuns]

50AU Part 34/Finale

Donnie would like to say that the worst 10 minutes of his life was when he had to watch as Leo sacrifice himself with no way to stop him. 

He would like to say that. 

But now that he'd seen Leo's memory of that moment, watching his twin throw himself into another dimension was taking second to this moment. 

The moment in which he described what had happened during the curse to Leo. 

Because he could have lied. He wasn't good at it, but he could have at least tried to lie. It would keep Leo from worrying about the things he had done during the curse, and it would keep Donnie from having to tell him about what happened during the memory spell. 

Except, Leo looked so tired. And Donnie was sick of lying to him. 

And he was fairly certain Leo would find a way to learn the truth on his own, anyway, whether Donnie wanted him to or not. 

He slowly went through the events of the curse. How well the first day had gone, how Leo had ran the second one. How he'd been injured and just kept running,  and how they had been so sure they got through to him. Only for Leo to have been acting. 

It felt like so much when he was saying it aloud, but it…it really had only been a week. 

And barely even that. But so much had happened that it felt like forever. 

Leo's face fell as Donnie kept going, as he described what had happened day by day.

As he suspected, Leo had found out about their fight on his own. Leo hadn't said anything until Donnie brought up the fight, so it was a little surprising when he interrupted. 

“ And then I-” 

“ Did it hurt?” Leo asked, voice small. He had shrunken in the booth, shoulders hunched and eyes staring down at the table, “ When I…when I attacked you?” .

Donnie blinked. He lightly touched his beak, which was thankfully no longer tender. It had hurt a lot, but Leo already looked so guilty. 

“ No, it didn't hurt-”

“ why are you lying?” He hissed, glancing up to make eye contact with Donnie, “ don't lie, Dee, I- I would be fucking scared of me, too”

Scared? 

Leo thought they were scared? Of him? 

It was almost laughable, really, but Donnie had enough self control to keep himself serious. 

“...is that what this is about? You think we're scared of you?” He asked, unable to keep the humor out of his voice. Nothing about the situation was funny, but for Leo to think they were scared of him was- well, it was downright hilarious. 

Leo didn't seem to agree, though, looking away guiltily. 

“ Lee, c'mon, as if any of us could be scared,” He tried, “ It was pretty wild to see you so…violent, don't get me wrong, but-”

“ But I hurt you! And-and apparently I hurt Mikey and Raph, too!” Leo retorted, suddenly sitting up again, “ I mean- I-I could have seriously injured one of you or even-”

He snapped his mouth shut and shook his head, like he didn't really want to say it. 

Donnie sighed, “ Look, ‘Nardo, that wasn't really you, I mean, you were cursed-”

“ You don't get it! That- That was still me!” Leo hissed, throwing his hands up in the air, “I am angry! And violent! And- and terrible!”

“Leo, we're not scared of you, even if you are like that, it-it doesn't matter, we know you didn't mean to!” Donnie protested. 

He wasn't really sure where all this had come from. Leo claiming to be angry and violent. Sure, Donnie had seen Leo get mad before. And he could really get mad. But it wasn't like he couldn't control it. 

Donnie remembered when they were kids and Leo would get so mad he'd just cry. He'd be so upset that it wouldn’t have anywhere to go, and he'd just burst into tears and run away. 

Once, Donnie had followed him to try and apologize, only to walk in on Leo throwing his things off his bed and screaming into a pillow. So Donnie of all people knew his twin could get mad. 

“Raph gets mad all the time, and we're not scared of him, right?” Donnie tried, “ you're not scared of Raph, are you?”

“‘Course not…” Leo murmured. He rested his forehead on the table. 

 “ ….Even though Raph tried to…to kill you? During the invasion…?” 

They both looked up at the voice, Donnie blinking in surprise. Raph and Mikey had shown up almost out of nowhere. Right. Donnie forgot to leave a note. 

“ Raph….I'd never be scared of you,” Leo sighed, “ that's- it's different- ” 

“ Its not. Leo, we get that you were still yourself during the curse,” Mikey said matter of factly, “ But the point is that you didn't know it was us. If you had actually believed us, would you have done any of those things?” 

Leo scoffed, “ of course I wouldn't!” 

“ Okay, then, it's settled. We're not scared of you, and we have no reason to be. Got it?” 

Leo frowned, but nodded a bit. 

He looked up at Donnie. 

A small part of him was hoping Leo would be satisfied and not ask to hear more, especially not the whole ‘ went into his memory and accidentally saw some shit’, but he knee his dum-dum twin wouldn't be satisfied. He wouldn't have been either, if he were in Leo's shoes. 

“ Donnie, what happened after that?” 

Donnie took a deep breath, “ Let's- before we get into that let's go home…” 

Leo glanced around, seemingly just noticing that they were the only ones left in the restaurant, save for Hueso and Leo's….boyfriend watching from the kitchen. 

“Shit, I forgot about- uh, lemme apologize to Hueso and uh- “ His cheeks flushed as he gestured to the waiter, Donnie unable to hold back a snort. It was a little funny that Leo thought they didn't know. About him being gay, that is. He’d actually hid his boyfriend pretty well, even from Donnie. 

They watched as Leo hurried over to Hueso and apologized, the skeleton waving it off like he had last time. Donnie planned on giving him a full kitchen remodel to make up for all the damage they kept doing to his restaurant.  

Then, Leo turned to the waiter and pulled him into a tight, squeezing hug. He glanced back at his brothers with red cheeks before giving the waiter a peck on the cheek and hurrying back to their side. 

“ Ohohoooo, Looks like Leo's got some explaining to doo~” Mikey teased,  “ Dude, Raph is gonna hunt that waiter down and give him the shovel talk!” 

“ Raph is not!” Raph retorted, glancing at Leo, “ unless he ain't treatin’ you right already. then Raph'll have to talk to him,” 

“ Oh my god can we please just go?” Leo whined, already cutting open a portal, “ I didn't plan on having so many emotional talks tonight and I just wanna get this one over with,” 

Raph and Mikey stepped into the portal, Donnie starting after them. 

He was…scared. Scared that once Leo found what he did, he'd never forgive them. Never forgive Donnie. 

It made him shudder with anxiety, wringing his hands as Leo followed him through the portal. They emerged in the living room, Mikey and Raph already taking up two of the beanbags. 

Leo closed the portal and slumped into Dad's chair.  Donnie swallowed down the nausea at the sight. 

“ Okay, chop chop Dee, I want to get all the emotional talking out so then you all can tease me about Yuichi and all that and we can all go back to normal, ‘kay?” Leo sighed, looking far too comfortable in the chair that they'd trapped him in. Twice. 

“ Well..well, after that, Draxum finished the potion and…” Donnie started, starring to pace. His fingers ached with how hard he kept squeezing him, but it was the only thing keeping him from just running away.  He hated this he hated this he hated this! 

He hated that he didn't know how Leo would react. Obviously he didn't give a shit if Leo decided to fight him again. That would make sense, at least. 

But it would hurt more knowing that Leo was well within his rights to just…dedide he didn't want to interact with Donnie ever again. That he wasn't to be trusted. That Donnie could never be trusted with anything again now that he'd done this. 

Leo could be understanding, sure. But he was the king of holding grudges. Rest assured that if this upset Leo, Donnie would be living in the aftermath of it for..probably forever. 

But he could not keep lying about stuff to his already confused twin, he couldn't keep breaking promises. 

He described the whole memory spell, that Draxum had modified it so they could stay there longer, that they first had cleansed the memory of him falling off the roof. 

“ and then we were….it was your memory of the invasion, back when…when you decided to…” Donnie swallowed back his anxiety. He was pacing back and forth. He'd been doing so as he spoke, afraid that if he sat down he wouldn't be able to say it. He couldn't stop to watch Leo's expression, to try and puzzle out his reaction to what Donnie said. He had to keep moving or he'd never be able to say it. 

“ But- something happened. We were too far, the item was your sword, and- and you were about to portal into the prison dimension,” Donnie sighed, rubbing at his arms thoughtlessly. He finally stopped and looked at his twin. 

His expression was like something out of a drama. Wide-eyed realization set in. Leo blinked, staring at him incredulously. 

He smiled faintly, a lopsided, shaky thing that was nothing like Leo's usual smirk or even his more rare, soft smile. This one didn't fit his face right, didn't curve in the right way, it hardly looked real. 

“ You…didn’t. You wouldn't…” he chuckled, standing up off the couch and stepping up to Donnie. He put his hands on Donnie's shoulders, grip not overly tight, but definitely noticeable. Like he was purposefully holding back, “ Donnie, please tell me you didn’t,”

Donnie sighed shakily, “ I didn't have a choice,” 

Leo’s strange, crooked smile cracked into a shaky frown, his expression changing a thousand miles a minute. It didn't take the years of practice Donnie had had trying to interpret his expressions to know that Leo was angry. He pushed away from Donnie - the softshell only stumbling a little. It wasn't nearly as hard as Leo could have pushed him. 

His hands shook with the effort it must have taken to hold back. The mask of control sliding down before Donnie had the opportunity to see Leo get angry again. Not that he wanted to, but it wasn't as if it would be a strange occurrence now. Not after the curse, anyway. 

“ You- you promised,” Leo bit out, taking a few steps back. His eyes were glassy, like he might cry. It had been years since Donnie had seen Leo cry out of frustration like that. He was sure it had happened, but never in the view of anyone else.

“ you promised you wouldn't- you wouldn’t ask about that anymore, but you just had to know, didn't you, ‘Tello?” He bit out, voice shaking with barely contained anger, “ You just- you just had to see it, huh? Co-couldn't even wait to ask again?” 

“ It- it wasn't on purpose! I had to get the sword, and you were already teleporting, and I couldn't- I couldn't get out!” Donnie retorted, knowing he must have sounded desperate. But he needed Leo to understand it was an accident, “ I tried not to look, I-I promise, but you made me!” 

“I made you?” Leo scoffed, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was laughing, throwing his arms up in the air at what must have felt like a cruel joke, “ oh I'm sure! I'm sure I made you follow me in, made you watch as I- as he-” 

He shut himself up, snapping his mouth closed and shaking his head. 

“ I never wanted you to see that,” He bit out, “ I would never want anyone to see that”

“ I didn't mean you as in- as in you- you,” Donnie sighed. He felt so defeated. He was so tired still, even if things were fine again. Because they didn't feel fine. Leo was mad at him. Mad at him. And rightfully so, but…it still hurt. 

Sure, Donnie had been avoiding him lately. He just…he hadn't wanted to tell Leo what happened. He thought maybe if they didn't talk, Donnie wouldn't have the opportunity to tell Leo what he'd done. And eventually they'd all forget and move on. 

“ your…the inner Leo made me watch. I promise, I tried to-”

“Oh so now you're saying that-that I must have subconsciously wanted you to see it!? I bet you told Mikey and Raph everything, didn't you!?” Leo chuckled, eyes unfocused. He was hardly even looking at Donnie anymore, pacing back and forth in a way that mirrored what Donnie had been doing before, though it was far more erratic, “ I bet everyone knows now how - how broken I am and how scared I was and-”

“I’m not saying- I-I didn't tell them!” Donnie cut him off, grabbing Leo's arm to stop him, “ Leo, I didn't want to- I didn't mean to see it, I promise! I’m sorry, it-it was a mistake!” 

Leo wrenched his arm away with a scowl, eyes still unfocused. Like he wasn't really listening. “ you promise, huh?” 

It was silent for a moment, Donnie unsure what to say that hadn't already been said. 

“I need..I need to go..” He murmured, turning away, “ Please, don't…don’t try and- I just need to be alone…’ 

He still had his sword on him from his impromptu pizza trip, and he quickly cut a portal and stepped through it. Donnie just stood there. 

He didn't know what to do anymore. How to fix it. He'd finally managed to fix the curse but how was he supposed to fix what he'd done? It had been an accident, but still. 

He glanced back to Mikey and Raph, who were watching the entire thing with concern. 

“ You guys…i think-  I think I really messed up..” 

Donnie didn't tell them what he'd seen. He didn't dare fuck that up again. But he did tell Raph and Mikey about the promise he made with Leo, about how he had purposefully kept the truth from his twin the entire week. And about how Leo had found his security tapes from before. 

He almost wanted to delete them, to get rid of any evidence that Leo had been…. But he didn't touch them. If Leo wanted to know the truth, he should be able to see it for himself. 

“He’s never gonna forgive me…” Donnie murmured, now cradling a cup of tea. Mikey was making breakfast, even if it was a little too early. He'd urged them all to eat something, even if Donnie was especially not hungry. 

It had barely been an hour, not even that, but it felt like Leo was going to be mad at him forever. And he couldn't fix it. He didn't know how anymore. He didn't know Leo anymore. 

It all just kept circling back to the same thing. If he had done better. If he had paid more attention to the changes Leo was going through. If he had been able to keep Leo from hurting him or if he had been faster or if- 

He didn't know. It was done, now, but he wished he could just go back and-and maybe even take the hit. It was his fault they were fighting in witchtown in the first place. At least if he had forgotten his family, it wouldn't have been- well, wouldn't it have? 

Leo was better at reading people, though. And a much better strategist. He could have kept Donnie from doing anything too permanent, kept him from running off. 

Ugh, this was getting them nowhere! Wishing things were different just made everything feel worse. He needed to find a way to fix it, not dwell on it further. 

“ D'you think Leo hates me?” He asked, not realizing he'd said aloud until Raph reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“ Nah, he doesn't hate you,”  Raph rumbled, squeezing Donnie's shoulder a bit, “he’ll figure out it wasn't your fault soon enough,” 

Donnie nodded, though the thought didn't comfort him. It was his fault, after all. He'd thought he could get the sword. Not to mention Leo was so stubborn, he was probably never going to forgive Donnie. 

“ Yeah, maybe..” Was all he said, knowing full well that Leo probably did hate him and would never forgive him and- 

He sighed, and took a sip of tea. 

There was no fixing this, was there? 

Leo only ignored him for a couple of days. He'd bounced between a couple of random beaches on the West Coast before returning that same night. Donnie watched his tracker for a while that first day. How he seemed to be pacing a lot. Like he was deciding whether or not to forgive Donnie. 

Which, he shouldn't. Except when he was doing that open and honest thing with Mikey, Mikey told him not to think like that. Because it wasn't his fault, even though Donnie was pretty sure it was. 

As much as he hated discussing his feelings, it kind of…helped. A little. It made him less sure that Leo was going to hate him forever, at least. But not entirely sure, as he would have liked to been. 

Finally, after two days of the cold shoulder, Leo came and knocked on his lab door. Donnie was trying to distract himself with work, but he'd been having trouble with the coding on Shelldon 4.0 and it was leaving him more frustrated than distracted. 

Then again, he'd been trying to replicate Sheldon for nearly 6 months now with hardly any progress. That would frustrate anybody. 

“ I took a nap earlier, Raph, I'm not going to bed anytime soon!” He sighed, knowing it was probably Raph trying to get him to sleep, like he usually did. He did nap earlier, so at least he wasn't lying. 

“ Not Raph,” 

Donnie turned to see Leo standing in the doorway instead, leaning up against the frame with a faint frown. 

“ oh..” Donnie didn't know what to say. He could apologize again, but he didn't know if it would make things better or worse. He couldn’t tell what Leo was thinking. It seemed he could never tell these days. 

Leo sighed and shut the door behind him, stepping into the lab without invitation. Not that he needed it. As much as Donnie liked to protest his presence, he never really minded it. He would lock the door if he didn't want Leo to come in, after all. 

“ So…I’ve been thinking..” Leo murmured, rubbing at his arms a bit, “ I don't…I don't think its…that terrible that you…saw everything…”

Donnie blinked in surprise. It was about the last thing he thought Leo would say, especially knowing how well Leo held a grudge. 

“ I just mean- maybe it's…not so bad to have someone else know and all…” He continued, “ cause- cause at least someone else can tell me it was real. And it’s okay to be…upset and- ughhh, this is too real for me right now!” 

He ran a hand down his face and looked at Donnie. 

“ I just- I don't want you to, like, pity me or- or- think I'm…weak or fucking whatever..” He muttered, cheeks pink, “ cause I survived, didn't I? And- and I’m fine, so-” 

Donnie chuckled faintly. He dropped what he was doing and buried his face in his hands. He wanted to scream. 

“ I didn't think that for even a second,” He sighed, leaning back in his chair, “ Leo, you may be an idiot, but you're one of the strongest idiots I know. Slash SRS on the strongest part and slash j on the idiot part, just in case that wasn't clear” 

Leo snorted, leaning against Donnie's desk, “We’re not really good at this open and honest stuff, are we?” 

“ No, and I never claimed to be,” Donnie sighed. He stood up and opened his arms for a hug. He kind of needed it himself, actually. 

Leo gave him a tight squeeze back and they stood in the silence of the lab together for another moment before Donnie finally, lightly pushed him away. 

“ Okay, enough lovey-dovey twin stuff,” Donnie sighed, “ are you…mad at me?” 

He hated that he couldn't tell just from the hug alone, but he needed to know. He needed to know Leo wasn't gonna hate him forever, even if he seemed to have forgiven the action. 

“ No, I'm not mad at you,” Leo sighed, “ I just want..I want everything to go back to normal. I know it…it probably won't, but I can dream, right?” 

Donnie sighed, slumping back into his chair, “i don't think it will go back to Normal normal. But…I will try my best to make it feel that way,”

Leo leaned back against his desk with a faint smile, crossing his arms and watching as Donnie got back to work. 

And it was about as normal as it could have been. 

No curse. No grudges. No looming worries, for now. 

---

this is not a great ending, I am super aware of that, but sometimes it's good to just finish the thing. I do wanna write a REAL fic for 50au, okay? And I will eventually. This was a decent start at the very least.

So that's how it ends. Keepin' it open ended was a good idea methinks. The google doc for this is lik 50,000 words (minus the 1000 for the OTHER outline i did at the beginning) and like 130 pages so yay?

Enjoy (or don't)

part 1 | Part 33

[whorewriter-lol]

Everybody talks I JJ Maybank

Y/n l/n, kook royalty. Sarah Cameron's best friend and a total princess. She had always had a disdain for pogues, but there was one boy in particular who always seemed to get under her skin, JJ Maybank. Which is exactly why she was not pleased when Sarah had showed up at her house to drag her off to the boneyard for a kegger. 

“Sarah, do we seriously have to go to this thing?” I sighed as I touched up my makeup.

“Obviously? Why wouldn’t we show up?” Sarah smiled, crossing her arms.

“Because, you know exactly who’s going to be there and you know exactly what’s going to happen” I turned to Sarah, leaning back against her bathroom counter. I watched as Sarah rolled her eyes.

“So? He does that to any girl in a hundred miles..Ready to go?” Sarah asked.

I rolled my eyes, groaning “You’re so lucky I love you.”

As we walked onto the beach, the sun was already setting. Sarah, the usual social butterfly immediately darted off. She dragged me off towards the opened kegs at the center of the circle of teenagers. Then, I groaned when I heard the voice of a familiar blonde boy “Hey y/l/n! I was wondering when you’d show up” turning my head to meet the boy's eyes, I crossed my arms.

“JJ” I deadpanned.

“What? You ain’t happy to see me?” JJ’s tone was sarcastic, almost condescending.

I shook my head and corrected him, “Ain’t isn’t a word, and you’re not worth my time.”

“And yet, you still stopped to talk to me.” that stupid, crooked smirk crossed his lips, god I wanted to wipe that look off of his face. I opened my mouth to object, but was cut off by Sarah calling my name, shooting JJ one last glare before disappearing into the crowd.

John B’s arm swung around his friends shoulder “give it up man, she hates you more than anyone else on this island”

“Yeah, and that’s like- a lot of people” Pope nodded his head, speaking in his usual matter of fact tone.

“She doesn’t hate me, she just hasn’t realized it yet” JJ gave his friends a determined grin. Pope sighed and patted JJs shoulder.

“Keep dreaming” He shook his head.

“He was so condescending! God, I just want to punch him right in his stupid, pogue face!” I shouted, complaining to Sarah and a group of girls from our school. Sarah and the other girls giggled at my outlandish and dramatic reenactment of the encounter.

“I think he’s kind of cute,” one girl said in a low tone. My  head snapped to look at the girl.

“Cute? You think JJ Maybank is cute?” my eyes widened and I crossed my arms. Of course, I couldn’t disagree, I definitely couldn't deny JJ was handsome but I would rather choke myself out with a fisher's net-line than ever admit something like that. “Good! Take him off of my hands!” I laughed, flailing her arms around wildly.

“Take who off your hands, cupcake?” I could practically hear the smirk on JJ’s lips. 

“Will you ever leave me alone? You might as well be stalking me.” I turned around, my eye’s narrowing and my mood ruined. JJ’s arms raised in a surrendering motion.

“Woah woah, hey slow down I just came to offer you a drink” He shoved his hand out towards me, offering the solo cup.

My whole face crinkled into a grimace, physically recoiling as though the drink was toxic waste. I spoke in a disgusted tone, looking from the cup to JJ “Are you serious? Why in hell would I ever take a drink from you?” 

JJ paused, seeming to think for a moment “Well, why not? C’mon, let loose” He smirked. JJ took a few steps closer so that now we were only inches apart “or are you too good for it?” 

My face crinkled up and I licked my teeth, I shrugged before smacking the cup out of the boys hand “Fuck off, pogue” I sneered at him.

Something dangerous flashed across JJ’s face for a split second, I couldn’t quite tell if it was directed at me though “alright.” he nodded and put his hands up in a dramatic show of surrender “I’ll go fuck myself, listen i was just tryin’ to be nice alright” thats when I realized.

“Oh Jesus Christ! Kiara!” I barked, waving a hand out to her “come get your boy! He’s drunk!”

Kiara’s head turned and she rolled her eyes before stomping over “Jayj, come on let's go” her arm wrapped around him, pulling him backwards as he smirked.

“See ya later, Y/l/n” He winked and as they faded into the crowd of teenagers I heard Kiara’s mumbled words.

“Bitches.”

Sarah and Topper dropped me off back at home around eleven that night. I sighed and opened the door, seeing my dad up in the kitchen. I rolled my eyes.

“Hey sweetheart, have a good time?” He turned his head with a tired smile on his face.

“Yeah, it was fine” I shook my head and quickly rushed up the steps “Night.”

In my room, I flicked on my light before going into my bathroom and undoing my hair before tying it up. I slipped on my headband and started to remove my makeup and wash my face. As I stood facing the mirror, my phone buzzed on the counter.

JJ Maybank wants to send you a message

Great. I sighed and picked up my phone, my finger hovered over the notification before I shook my head and put my phone down “I’m not entertaining his bullshit” I mumbled to myself before setting my phone down and finishing my nighttime routine. I dimmed my light before climbing into bed, scrolling on Instagram for a while before going to sleep. 

I was woken up about an hour later to a phone call from Sarah, groaning and sitting up I picked up the phone “Sarah, what the fu-” 

I was cut off by her yelling “JJ pulled a fucking gun on Topper!”

What. The. Fuck!?

[megumimania]

(NOT SO) SECRET SANTA

summary: secret santa takes a twist this year as you exchange gifts with the kyoto school. leaving you rushing as you try to find a gift in time.

tags: fluff, reader being a terrible procrasinator, satoshoko crumbs, todo being takada chan’s biggest supporter, can you tell that secret santa is the bane of my existence?, todo being todo, megumi and yuji being fortnite merchants, nobara and reader maximising their joint slay and gojo’s credit card!

a/n: after scrambling around westfields for the past two days, i thought id share the same emotions in this fic!

“i am never doing this again.” you tell nobara as you weave through the crowd at the mall. yelling ‘excuse me’s’ or apologising as you squeeze past people to get through.

the mall is packed to the brim, with shoppers racing to get their last minute tidbits for christmas before the shops close before the holidays. nobara looks up from her phone, giving you a look that screamed ‘girl be so serious rn’

“you know you said this last year right?” she points out before she stops to look at pair of cute earrings, taking a picture of them. which makes you huff in response because you know that she’s right.

this time last year you were literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown because you could not find anything decent at the mall. this being coupled with the bright flourescent lights and the massive crowds and the loud music sucked up your energy real fast.

you ended giving megumi a sweater that was poorly wrapped and a christmas card that was signed with your tears. at least megumi appreciated the effort that went into your present for him.

“but that was last year, i was a whole different person then with a different set of responsibilities.” you playfully roll your eyes as you mutter to yourself annoyedly “gosh can’t people learn and grow anymore?”

you realise that you’ve lost nobara a long time ago. as she is now talking to the sales person about those tiffany earrings, a trademark tiffany blue bag swinging around with her as she enthuses about jewellery with the sales rep.

whilst you do love seeing her in her element when it comes to fashion, you had pressing matters to consider like what the hell you were going to get todo for christmas.

yes that todo.

this year gojo and utahime for some odd reason, to which megumi attributed to a sure sign that the end times were soon upon us, decided in order for the two schools to see eye to eye with each other that there should be a secret santa gift exchange between the two schools.

they announced this in november giving you ample time to meet up with todo and get to know each other and figure out what he liked. you let him pick all the locations for your meet ups as you read in a book somewhere that a person’s choice of location says a lot about them as a person.

and boy did todo’s choice of locations have a fuck ton to say about him.

in the 6/8 times you met up with todo over this period, he took you to a total of three locations: a takada chan listening party, the gym and a takada chan themed night at the gym.

seeing grown men belt their hearts out to takada’s lyrics whilst doing twenty reps of bicep curls was one way to spend a lousy thursday evening but you learned a lot about him.

the first most obvious thing was his love for takada chan, the second thing was that he smelt really good, like immensely good for a guy which lowkey pissed you off and the third thing was that he was a self care buff, especially when it comes to health and fitness.

in fact in the first twenty minutes of your second meetup, he managed to devise with you a skincare regime based on your skin type.

you were as flattered as you were somewhat offended but when you began to finally implement his tips and tricks, you saw a massive difference in your skin. so you couldn’t really be mad.

and what did todo learn from you?

just your type in men and women, you didn’t know what he was gonna do with your vague description of your ideal partner being “sexy as fuck” but todo was a man of many surprises so you just had to wait and see.

so this was propped up to be easier than ever, you could simply buy him some takada merch and you’d be on your merry way.

however your idea of a easy ride with this gift exchange came to a screeching halt when todo told you that he didn’t want a “takada related gift” because there was more to him than his love for an idol.

you were thrown for a loop, two weeks before the gift exchange and all the takada chan paraphernalia that was holding space in your dorm room had to go back. thank god the return window for some of these items were still open.

the rest you had to sell on facebook marketplace meeting up with all sorts of people behind the school to sell the merchandise.

nobara and maki joked that you looked like a shady drug dealer and they were partially right but trying to haul a life size cut out of takada into the back of someone’s car really ruined the allure of it all.

if dopamine was a drug you’d be rich, you really underestimated how much people’s happiness came from other people especially when it came to an idol/famous celebrity.

your last minute pursuit for a christmas gift for todo led you to a book store. despite his jock-esque character, you later found out that he’s really smart and what do all smart people love? books. yes it was stereotypical but as you perused the sections you found a book that you thought he’d like.

“hey nobara, do you think todo is a self help type of guy?” you turned around showing the book to her. you both knew the answer, even though you doubted that he needed the ‘help’ provided within the books, he’d definitely enjoy the premise of the books.

nobara takes the book from you turning the book around to read the blurb, handing it back to you with a shrug. “the guy has enough energy and passion to power the whole of tokyo, i think he’d like this.”

and with that the book and some other items, you got in your last minute rush were secured. once you got back you wrapped the gifts and left them by the office, ignoring gojo calling you and nobara to his office.

he probably just noticed the 1.6 million yen that left his account after you and nobara bought matching van cleef bracelets at the mall but he’ll live, both of you combined have spent more on his card than a measly 1.6 million.

“gojo, leave the kids alone!” shoko instructed him in that stern doctor voice she only used when she was in the middle of healing several patients at once. it was the only voice he would respond to and respect.

“but shoko, they spent almost 2 million yen on my card!” he whined, gojo always being one for the theatrics. everybody knew that gojo’s wealth was almost boundless, the 2 million he lost today would be made back in a matter of days.

you rolled your eyes as you headed over to chill with megumi and yuji in the common room, who were in the middle of an intense game of fortnite to notice your presence.

it was finally time for the gift exchange, you and todo sat in the canteen as you finally exchanged gifts between one another. “merry christmas todo!” you chirped as you handed him his gifts.

you watched him open the presents studying his reaction closely to see if he liked them or not. he finally looked up, unshed tears brimming in his eyes as he held the self help book and the set of candles in his hands.

“this is the nicest and most thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten for me.” he sniffles as he reads the card, hands shaking slightly. you were slightly concerned at the level of reaction he was showing. was this normal?

“you even wrote this on a takada chan christmas card, this is too much. thank you.” he pulls you into a hug that knocks the air out of your lungs, you bask in the praise for the time being, if only he knew the hell you went through to get these gifts.

“you’re welcome.” you reply after a while, he finally releases you and watches you open your present with wide eyes, it was perfume alongside some skin care goodies and such.

you sprayed the perfume on your wrist, letting it sit for a couple of minutes in order to smell the main notes. whilst at first the perfume smelt sweet and flowery, after a while the more stronger notes of amber, cacao and sandalwood came through.

“woah this is…” you smelt the perfume on your wrist trying to find the word for this all alluring, all consuming scent. it was so sweet yet so seductive.

“sexy as fuck?” he replied, a shit eating grin forming on his face as he knew that he made the right choice. part of you wanted to groan at the poor attempt of a joke but this was christmas time—a jovial time so you let him have this one.

“how did you figure this perfume out from those two words?” you asked still curious but he leans back on the chair with a simple shrug, chuckling slightly. “even though your type is shallow as fuck, I realised that deep down you are a cool person—so I just got a perfume that exuded that vibe.”

you smile at the compliment and the acknowledgment that your type was shallow as fuck because it was spot on.

you were on a high, this time your procrastination finally didn’t come back to bite you in the ass, since you managed to get todo’s whole set of gifts in time for this christmas exchange event.

but just as you’re about to pat yourself on the back todo speaks up once again.

“hey…uh is there any reason why you left the tag on the candle?”

shit.

well you can’t win at everything.

[genderqueerdykes]

this whole anti-transmasc shit is making me way more depressed than bs discourse should because for years i thought it was about us. Big US. all of us. I thought we were us. thats why it didnt matter that not a lot of the conversation about trans issues were about trans men, or that very few public figures who talked about trans issues were trans men. I thought it was enough that it was us. but apparently this whole time I wasnt included in that? apparently this whole time I was this like. half trans person who doesnt actually count as apart of the conversation? it really sucks ass.

honestly that's a great way to put it. it's bone chilling to realize how many people have been excluding you from the start, and are only trying to make it worse. this divide in the trans community is manufactured as hell. it's like you said, you thought it was about "us"- all of us. all trans people. but for some reason, there's this common online rhetoric that trans men aren't trans somehow? like being a trans man isn't "Actually trans" or you're being trans "wrong" somehow.

like how are we still perpetuating the idea that the only "right" way to be trans is to be a trans woman and everyone else is a tomboy, or a confused butch, or a crossdresser, or whatever the fuck. like we somehow still have people within the community who just deny up and down that trans men "count" as trans. what are we doing? this isn't community. it's bullies looking for fresh meat to target, and i've had enough.

i don't care if people assume shit about the trans male experience. i don't think that people believe that we instantly gain cishet male privilege (or gain it at all) and are basically cishet men and oppressors. that's just not how this shit works. we're still trans. we are a part of the trans community. you can't ignore us anymore. we're right here. and we're going to occupy the spaces we rightfully can. and we're going to keep talking about our experiences until it pisses off every last transandrophobe.

people who want to make an entire queer community about themselves are a detriment to those around them. people who think they're somehow the protagonist of a given community deserve to face pushback. we don't have to sit here and let people walk all over us anymore. this is what cishet society does to trans men. why should we have to get walked all over on in our own home? are people serious with this shit right now? you can't kick us out of our own home. we live here. we've always lived here.

[nausicaamusiclover20]

Hi! Can I request a load era Kirk x wife!reader when he suggests (as a joke, but he’s playing it very seriously) thathe wants a “hall pass” to hook with a famous model or groupie to “spice up” their marriage cause to him, life has become boring; maybe Lars or James done it and now Kirk wants to try it too. She’s humiliated and threatens to divorce him - but he thinks she’s just joking too. He leaves for studio but then he comes back he finds that she left, but before she filled the divorce papers and called him a hooker for his “hall pass”? And he realizes that she took it seriously and feels stupid?

I hope you like it!❤

A pass too far

I didn’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way, things started feeling... off. Our routine had become predictable, and I wasn’t blind to the way Kirk had started pulling away. He was restless, like he was missing something. And I tried, I really did, to make things exciting again. But no matter what I did, it felt like he wasn’t really here.

That night, when we sat down for dinner, I thought maybe we could have a conversation about it—maybe he’d finally open up, share what was on his mind. I didn’t expect the bomb he dropped.

“So, babe,” Kirk started, a little too casually, like he was testing the waters, “I’ve been thinking.”

My stomach fluttered a little, expecting him to say something like, "I love you," or maybe "Let’s take a vacation." Instead, what he said next made me freeze.

“I think we should spice things up a little,” he continued, his grin playful, “What if you gave me a hall pass?”

I blinked, sure I hadn’t heard him right. “A what?”

“A hall pass,” he repeated, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He leaned back in his chair, looking almost pleased with himself, “You know, like a free pass to hook up with a model or a groupie. You know, like Lars and James do. They do it, so why not me?”

I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. This had to be some kind of joke. But the more I looked at his face, the more I realized he was completely serious. The smirk on his lips told me he wasn’t joking.

My chest tightened. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I tried to process what he was saying. A hall pass? To sleep with someone else? He was seriously asking me for this? Was he out of his mind?

My thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of it, but all I could manage to say was, “Are you kidding?”

“No, I’m not,” he said, almost too easily, as if this was just another idea he’d thrown out. “I just think, you know, things have gotten kind of boring. A little spice would be good for both of us, don’t you think? We could try something new.”

My hands were shaking now. I pushed my chair back and stood up, the anger rising in my chest. “So, let me get this straight,” I said, my voice trembling, “You want me to just give you permission to go fuck some random woman, and you think that’ll ‘spice things up’ for us?”

He shrugged, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Yeah, why not? It’s not like it means anything. It could be fun.”

Fun? My stomach turned. I had never felt so small in my entire life. “So I’m supposed to just let you do that, right?” I laughed bitterly, the sound of it breaking through my shock. “Like I’m just supposed to sit here while you go out and hook up with someone else because you think our marriage is boring?”

“I’m just saying, it could work,” he added, his voice too casual for the storm raging inside me.

I shook my head, backing away from the table. The words caught in my throat, but the anger in my chest was making it hard to breathe. I had no idea how we’d gotten here, how I’d ended up here, with him suggesting that I just let him have some kind of free pass to do whatever he wanted. It was humiliating, and I felt every bit of that humiliation rising in my throat.

“No,” I said, my voice trembling with fury. “No way, Kirk. If you think I’m going to just sit here and let you do that, you’re out of your mind. That’s not how this works. I’m not your fucking hooker, Kirk. And if this is what you want, then I’m done. I’m done.”

His face shifted slightly, but he didn’t seem to fully grasp how serious I was. “Come on, babe, it’s just a joke. Don’t overreact. You’re being dramatic.”

I felt my heart break. "Dramatic?" I repeated, my voice shaking with disbelief. “You seriously think I’m being dramatic? You want to sleep with someone else, and I’m the one overreacting?”

“You’re not overreacting,” he said, finally standing up. “I’m just saying it could be fun—”

“No,” I cut him off, taking a step back. “You’re serious, and I’m not sticking around for this. If you want that, go ahead. But I’m done. We’re done.”

He didn’t try to stop me. He didn’t reach for me or beg me to stay. Instead, he just looked at me with this confused, almost smug expression, like he thought I was the one being ridiculous.

I grabbed my bag, the tears threatening to spill, but I was too angry to let them fall. I didn’t want him to see me break. Not like this. Not over something so stupid.

“I’m filing the divorce papers,” I said, my voice steady but cold. “And don’t bother trying to talk me out of it. You wanted a hall pass, Kirk. You can have it. But I’m not your second choice. I won’t be your joke.”

I left, slamming the door behind me, not caring about the sound or the chaos it left in my wake.

The next morning, I filed the divorce papers. I couldn’t believe it had come to this, but how could I stay with someone who thought so little of me? The worst part was, I had a feeling he didn’t even understand what he’d just done.

I thought about leaving him a note, but the words just came out so easily, so honestly. “I’m not your hooker, Kirk. Goodbye.”

I didn’t expect it to hit me like that.

I walked into the house after a long day at the studio, the sound of guitars and drums still echoing in my mind. The band's been busy with the new album, and there's always something brewing—something new to get excited about. But today, something felt off, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. The house was quieter than usual. Too quiet.

I called out for her, but no response. Maybe she’d stepped out. Maybe she was out running errands. But no, something didn’t sit right. I walked through the house, checking every room, but there was no sign of her. Nothing.

Then I saw it.

The envelope on the kitchen table. My name was scrawled across it in that familiar handwriting. My stomach twisted.

I opened it without thinking, pulling the paper out. But when my eyes scanned the words, I felt a sudden wave of nausea.

“I’m not your hooker, Kirk. Goodbye.”

I read it again, blinking hard, as if doing so would make it all make sense. Goodbye? No, she couldn’t be serious. She couldn’t. My mind raced as I looked down at the divorce papers that fell out alongside the note. The room started to feel smaller, the air thinner.

I stumbled back a step, trying to make sense of what I was holding. My heart pounded in my chest. She’d really left. It was real. She was gone, and it was my fault.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, staring at the papers in my hand, still trying to wrap my head around it. My mind kept circling back to what I’d said earlier—the joke. It was supposed to be a joke. A stupid joke. But I didn’t realize how deeply it had cut her. How it had destroyed something that should’ve been sacred to both of us.

I felt like a damn fool. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know if I could.

Without thinking, I grabbed the phone from the wall, dialing the number I knew all too well. My hands shook as I punched in the digits, my mind screaming for her to pick up. She had to. She had to hear me out.

The phone rang, each ring feeling like a punch in my gut. I tried to steady my breath. She’ll answer, she’ll answer, I thought, but the ringing only grew louder in my ear, more deafening.

And then... it stopped. A dial tone.

I hung up, staring at the receiver in my hand. I didn’t even know what I’d say to her. What could I even say? The words felt useless, like a pathetic excuse for what I’d done.

My chest tightened, and for the first time, the gravity of everything hit me.

I didn’t know when I had become so careless. I didn’t know when I started thinking it was okay to make jokes like that. To push her away. But now, standing in this empty house, I understood.

The tears came, unbidden, but I didn’t try to stop them. There was nothing left to say. I had everything I wanted, all the fame, the music, the tours... But I had never understood how much I needed her—how much I loved her—until it was too late.

And now? Now I was alone. A fool, sitting in a house filled with echoes of things I could never get back.

I looked back at the divorce papers, the words dancing in front of me, almost mocking me. How could I have been so stupid?

I picked up the phone again, but I didn’t dial. I couldn’t. She wasn’t going to pick up. She was gone, and I had no idea if she’d ever come back.

[redtail-lol]

#1 Octavia Defender here to say WHAT THE FUCK.

I don't hate Stolas, and I wouldn't call him an abuser. I think he is well meaning but he made serious mistakes and he hurt her. She has every right to feel hurt and upset. Via is VERY CLEARLY and always has been a hurt child in a broken home. She has no family that truly loves her. Stella and Andre laugh about how they're denying her contact with her father. Stolas threw away everything for Blitzø and has yet to make an attempt to see her other than calling. She's been making it clear since her debut that she doesn't think Stolas loves her, or loves her as much as he hates Stella. She cares - she was going to give him his pills, and she did use her powers to protect him - but she's very upset and has every right to be. For fucks sake when she found he took antidepressants she thought he either secretly never cared for her, or that he'd been bearing depression all for her (and therefore, it's her fault in her mind.) She feels lied to. She has a right to! I've always loved Via especially in this episode because she's one of the better written characters, and I have to give credit to the writing team and Viv herself for this! She's managed to write Stolas a situation where we understand where he was coming from, and I definitely believe he was right to save Blitzø from execution, but all the same his actions were morally gray and they did leave his daughter very hurt. He didn't do enough while he could to make her feel like she mattered to him.

On top of that, this is Stolas's turn for consequences. Both him and Blitzø are very flawed individuals, and he got his comeuppance in episode 9 and 10. And now Stolas gets the consequences of his actions. He's stripped of his power, which'll probably be better for his development anyways, and he's hurt his precious daughter. He needs this consequence for his narrative. This is good writing! The pain is good for him yet some HB fans have a very black and white view of characters that are meant to be seen as various colors. Stolas and Octavia being two of them.

Today on Twitter, somebody saying they hope Octavia gets abused by Stella for not throwing herself at stolas’s feet

Oh, I’m sorry I mean forgiving her poor abuse papa

[phioneplatinum]

Listen, now, I don't usually post stuff like this. I really don't! But I'm not gonna stand aside and watch multiple dreams, hopes, and futures shattered. I've done what I've could, and you should too! Does it disturb me? Yes! Yes it does! It disturbs everyone, and the fact people are willing to destroy these futures is just. Fucked up! So I'm not just gonna sit there in my chair and pretend it's not there--thats what THEY want. Turn that disgust into anger. A fighting spirit. For those left scared and alone in the dark.

Put aside the fixations for now. People on the other side needs our voice--they have no way to speak up. I don't care if I lose followers from this-this is one of the most impactful things I can do. People need our help-and we need to help them any way we can. Reblogs, posts, signatures! Anything can help, as long as it gives those people lost and scared for their lives another tomorrow. As long as people KNOW you care about what's going on.

Again, put aside the fixations. We have the power to give those without a voice, those who are unable to fight, those who are scared as to what's gonna happen a VOICE. And if you're going to ignore this, just because YOU'RE uncomfortable with it? Just block me and call it a day. Simple as that.

It's sickening how people can just support other people shattering the dreams and futures of the next generation.

I've done what I could, now YOU should do what you can do too. I won't be posting for a while, especially with what's going on.

Save the dreams and aspirations of the future. Let our voices be heard. Please. I know I don't usually post like this, but please.

Even something as small as a reblog will do. To spread awareness.

That's all. Take care, and please remember to help those who are lost and scared in the darkness. I'll be back with my usual energy later. But right now, people need our help.

[hellinhawkins]

hey! sometimes it’s not necessary to share your opinion <3

[cephalog0d]

Okay, but like. There's the whole joke about Bruce recruiting children to be his sidekicks, but honestly there's only really one that fits that.

And it's Jason. And the whole story there is, frankly, unhinged. Aaaaand then he died.

(I'm specifically talking about "first post-crisis origin stories" here because Jason and Dick, in particular, have both had multiple major retcons and revisions over the years, and some of them dramatically change how things happened.)

Like okay. Going backwards, you've got Duke who joined/led a whole Robin-based gang at a time when Bruce wasn't even Batman. You've got Damian and Cass, who were both literally born into the world of masks and capes and heroes and villains, so they weren't ever really not going to be part of it. Steph might have taken inspiration from previous heroes but she made her own identity and repeatedly refused to stop involving herself in the vigilante lifestyle. Tim, obviously, basically strong-armed Batman into letting him be Robin, despite Batman's protests.

Dick's a little more complicated just because there's so many versions, because that's what 80 years of comics and multiple universe reboots will do, and there's kind of a general trend that earlier pre-crisis versions were more of Batman being like "hello, child, would you like to be my sidekick" and later versions have leaned harder and harder into the idea that Dick was absolutely going to do this anyway, regardless of what Batman had to say about it. But even in the first post-crisis version, the flashback in Batman Year 3, Dick says he wants to find a way to keep people like that from hurting others again. When Alfred questions Bruce's offer to train him, Bruce says that Dick should learn to do things the right way if he's going to do it. It's not hard to extrapolate that, much like later versions of the origin story, Dick was going to get himself into this one way or another. (Batman (1940) #437)

And then there's Jason. Whose backstory has also had a lot of (sometimes major) revisions over the years (remember when his adoption was, like, some kind of Joker-originated long con? Fucken Nu52, man). But the original post-crisis version is pretty straightforward. Steals Batman's tires, gets caught and sent to Ma Gunn's Secret Criminal School, intervenes when Batman goes to investigate, immediately gets offered the chance to be Robin based entirely on that.

Which is itself kind of unhinged. That Bruce saw this kid who was living on his own stealing tires and went "Hey you would make a good Robin" as his very first instinct.

But if you've never read Jason's post-crisis origin, or it's been a while, it's honestly even more unhinged than that because that arc starts with Dick getting "fired" as Robin specifically for the reason that he got shot by Joker and Bruce freaked out about how the Robin identity has too many enemies and therefore Dick, a legal adult with approximately a decade of training and experience, should not use the identity anymore.

(And it's specifically about the Robin identity, in this version, because when Dick says he's not going to stop the crime fighting thing Bruce's response is basically "I know and I didn't expect you to". Honestly I could also say a lot about this version of the Robin/Nightwing transition vs. later ones and how this one definitely feels like the Heavy Hand of DC Editorial in the fact that they had no contact for so long afterwards, because the interaction really doesn't feel like it warrants that in this case compared to some later versions, but that's a whole other too-long ramble.) (Batman (1940) #408)

And then a few weeks later Bruce turns around and picks up a random kid, a literal child, and goes "Hey you would make a good Robin!"

And I think a lot about how fucking wild that is. And it's not like the people writing just didn't notice. Dick's big argument with Bruce when he finally comes back to Gotham and meets Jason isn't about the fact that Bruce took in another kid, or even necessarily about Dick feeling proprietary over the Robin identity, the thing he's angry about is that Bruce said it was too dangerous for him, an adult, someone who has trained with Batman for a decade and was already highly physically trained before that for his whole life, to be Robin, and now Bruce has turned around and painted that target onto some random new kid. He pushes, repeatedly, trying to get Bruce to justify himself and this absolutely irresponsible decision, and Bruce gives a lot of answers about how Jason was on a bad path and needed this outlet and eventually just admits that he missed having a partner. (Batman (1940) #416)

And like. Dick's right, is the thing. He is 1000% in the right in this argument. If he can't be Robin anymore because of the danger, how in the hell is it anything like a good idea to hand it over to someone way younger, way less trained, way less experienced, and expect that that wouldn't end in tragedy?

And then it did.

And yeah, Bruce, it is kinda a lot of your fault.

[dullahandyke]

Like I'm not World's Number One Slave Labour And Job Insecurity Lover there's very obvious criticism to be made of it but some of u guys see the acronym 'AI' and start foaming at the mouth. Misinformation is at the forefront of issues with mass-implementation of 'AI' so it's kind of galling to see people go red light ready to believe anything as long as it appeals to their pathos

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

[calsvoid]

“ooh free fanfiction” i say, while getting into rpf, as if fanfiction is not already free and legally has to be

[sweet-star-cookie]

so i finished the teal mask dlc

[acedavestrider]

does anyone have any advice on how to feel alive again

[hkpika07]

Fav sea creature from the midnight zone?

NOOOOOO THERES SO MANY COOL ONES YOU CANT MAKE ME CHOOSEEE

Some of my faves are the gulper eel, vampire squid, barreleye, blood comb jellies, the ghost shark aka the chimera shark, dumbo octopus, I think the glass octopus lives in the midnight zone. uhhhhhh theres more but i cant think rn.

Anyways the deep ocean is my favorite part of the ocean I love it its so cool and has so many cool guys. Like tripod fish those fuckers. I love them.

Go visit Monterey Bay Aquarium they have an exhibit on the deep ocean!!!