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a-solitary-sea-rover-backup · 7 months ago

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Interview with Dawn Riley, 1 April 2024

KaiYves (KY): Hey, everyone, my name is KaiYves from A Solitary Sea Rover, and I’m here with Dawn Riley at Oakcliff Sailing Center, an incredibly famous veteran of offshore sailing. You were in the Whitbread twice, I think?

Dawn Riley (DR): Uh-huh.

KY: Which is now The Ocean Race, in 1989 and then 1993, and then the America’s Cup in 1992, 1995, 2000, 2003, 2007…

DR: 2003, I did the easy part, I was media. (laughs)

KY: And you were in management for–

DR: For 2007, yup.

KY: And today you’re the head of Oakcliff Sailing Center, since 2010, I think?

DR: Yup, absolutely.

KY: And you’re also, as of last year, in the America’s Cup Hall of Fame.

DR: Yes, I’m a triple-famer. America’s Cup Hall of Fame, National Sailing Hall of Fame, and then the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame. So three different organizations, all honoring sailing.

KY: And it only took 30 years.

DR: (laughs) Yeah.

KY: And now there’s four women in the America’s Cup Hall of Fame!

DR: Yup.

KY: …and forty men, right? (laughs)

DR: I have not done the math, but yeah, there’s more men than women across the board. [It's actually more like 100 men and 4 women.]

KY: It’s reflective of the event. So we met at the 12-Metre World Championships last summer in August, that was an incredible weekend, you know, just the level of access there was, being able to walk in and see everyone, being able to see the boats, and photograph them. I was able to help out a little bit.

DR: Yup.

KY: Because you guys needed a phone charger. You let me come on the chase boat, that was incredible, I got to see [the racing] up close… I got kind of seasick, but I still had a wonderful time.

DR: (laughs) Good to know.

KY: And then I helped hose down a little bit afterwards. So I was joking with my friends that I can tell everyone that I was a 12-Metre crewmember for five minutes.

DR: There you go. (laughs) And Courageous is a pretty special yacht.

KY: I said to my friend, “You know, this summer I was a crew member on Ted Turner’s yacht. There’s a lot of clarifiers to that, but…”

DR: (laughs)

At the 12-Metre Worlds.

KY: In a very loose sense I was, yes. You agreed to do this interview with me and let me come visit and I’m super excited for that. I got my Master’s at NYU and a few weeks ago, I was in Greenwich Village. So I went into the Strand Bookstore, the famous bookstore there, for old time’s sake. I was looking around, I was in the basement stacks, looking at the travel, exploration, transportation sections, and while I was there, this is what I found– (pulls out a book wrapped in cloth from her backpack and unwraps it to show it’s Riley’s book Taking the Helm)

DR: Ah. Taking the Helm. (takes book to examine it) Is this one signed?

KY: Oh, yeah, it is.

DR: I think I signed almost all of them.

KY: So I don’t have to bother you for that.

DR: There you go. (laughs)

This is the softcover cover, mine looked slightly different.

KY: I thought, “This is great”, because I’d already made the arrangement to talk to you, “This is a good omen, I think”. It also has this flier from back in the day. (unfolds a paper flier tucked into the dust jacket and hands it to Riley)

DR: Oh my goodness, this is funny. Yup, this was the promo that I sent out. I put together this flier myself and it was to try and do speaking. That’s crazy, I haven’t seen that in for-ever.

KY: Do you want to keep it?

DR: Um, sure. I don’t think 1-800-511-DAWN works anymore, but I’ll check.

KY: You find some really great things at Strand, you know. I found, um, Bertrand Piccard, who went around the world in the balloon, I actually found a signed copy of his book about that at Strand.

DR: Mmm-hmm, OK.

KY: I found a book about the ‘77 America’s Cup that had a newsletter from the ‘83 one inside of it and I said, you know, “I think the flier might be worth more than the book, but…”

DR: (laughs)

KY: So used bookstores are amazing.

DR: Hmm-hmm.

KY: But I was really excited [to read your book] because it was actually the third book I had read about that era of the Round-The-World Race in the past year. I’m working on a fictional story that’s about a fictional team in the 80s in the Whitbread, so I’d read a few different books. I’d read Peter Blake’s book about Ceramco in 1981, I’d read Skip Novak’s about Drum in ‘85– I think you have most of those out there [on the bookshelf in the main room]. And so, I wanted to see and contrast the different people’s voices and so forth. I know I contrasted those [two] as I was reading. I thought, you know, Blake had this very fun, optimistic sort of voice where it’s all this very jolly adventure.

DR: Peter Blake was a good friend of mine. He was an amazing seaman. He and his wife were adventurers. And unfortunately, tragically, he was killed on an adventure in the Amazon. But he was probably one of the most solid and most revered New Zealanders out there.

KY: It was a great book, you know, just this good humor throughout. Whereas Skip Novak’s, it’s a lot more gritty and cynical. He’s talking about people fighting each other, talking about people doing unsanitary things and stuff like that. And I actually thought, just, the way the book opens, where they come into Cape Town really early in the morning and nobody’s there to greet them because they’re sixth, it’s just the officials. And they spray them with champagne and he’s like, you know that’s always the cheap champagne and it makes you sticky and it’s nasty. And he’s like, and now we’re in Cape Town, it’s 1985, and there’s all of these signs that say, ‘No Black People [Allowed] Here’. And so, he’s just very much showing the grittier side of his experience.

DR: Or, more, just the pessimistic side. Knowing Skip, that’s his personality.

KY: Yes.

DR: So both of those people’s personalities come through.

KY: But he also in the end enjoyed this adventure and he still thought it was worth it. So I liked having those two different perspectives. And so I was curious to see, when I read your book, how your perspective compared. And I think you have more of an optimistic voice.

DR: I am eternally optimistic. If I wasn’t, I would not have made anything of my life, because everyone told me I couldn’t. I said, “Oh yeah? Screw you, watch me.” So I’ve been forced to be, but luckily eternally optimistic. Which doesn’t mean I am a Pollyanna. So I’m realistic and prepared as well.

KY: I mean there were some, you know, gritty details, but I thought that it was, overall, more of a “Blake” sort of voice. But what I thought that was in your book that was not really in the other ones was a lot more about emotions and familial connections. And just talking about the people back home and everything. Which is something that made it kind of different. And some really beautiful language.

DR: So I have to have joint credit for that with Cyndy. I kept a running [log], I wrote it during the race and then she cleaned it up. And went back and forth and back and forth on the editing. So it was absolutely a joint editing process. And sometimes my language was way too flowery and she’d bring it back down, and sometimes hers was a little too professional and I’d be like, “That doesn’t sound like me!”, so I’d bring it back.

KY: I love when you’re talking about how you left South America and you were under a sky full of diamonds, going out into a sky full of diamonds.

DR: Yeah, there’s… It was just a couple of years ago, now, so it’s 2024… before COVID, so say 2018, I was down in Florida on a beach… (a phone in the office rings and Riley stops to press a button to silence it) I walked down to the beach at a party and there was nobody else around. I looked up at the sky, I was like, “This is what I miss. I miss being out there.”

KY: I mean, it must be, it’s some of the darkest skies on Earth when you’re in the middle of the ocean.

DR: Yes, of course, you’re out– there’s some points, and I think this was described in the book, some points where you can’t really tell where the sky ends and the water starts. ‘Cause it’s just a circle.

KY: And I loved that. Because I feel like a lot of the time, when you read books from people who did something really interesting, their skills are not in writing so they describe it very simply.

DR: Uh-huh.

KY: And I’m like, okay, so you flew around the world or you climbed Mount Everest, but I don’t really get a sense of what it was like for you. But with you, I did.

DR: Okay, good.

KY: And what I also liked about that book was that I was able to see connections because I’ve read a lot of other books from the same time period. Because I go to used bookstores and people give away their books about twenty-five years afterwards. So, I was like “Oh!” At the same time [you were racing the Whitbread], there was the ENZA trimaran going for the Jules Verne Trophy, which I had read— actually, just the year before— read Cam Lewis’s book about Commodore Explorer.

DR: Uh-huh.

The Jules Verne Trophy, not quite like the book. [x]

KY: And then, at the same time you were planning for the America’s Cup 1995. And during lockdown, I actually read Anna Huntington’s book Making Waves.

DR: Yup.

KY: That’s always, to me, a very particular experience reading that book, because I got it from Breakwater Yacht Club, I borrowed it just before lockdown and then I had it. There was nothing else to do so I just was biking around in the spring. And I went to this little beach in North Sea and I just sat down on the beach and I was just reading this book and trying to think about something– just something else because it seemed like the world was going crazy. And there was an osprey family up in a nest. And it was just me, and the osprey, and this book about the America’s Cup.

DR: Uh-huh.

KY: So you’ve made a home here [on Long Island] in our area, but you’re from Detroit, originally.

DR: Yup.

KY: And you learned to sail there?

DR: I learned to sail with my family. No formal training, no junior sailing type of training, but my dad was a sailor and a racer and he would basically, I think… My mom would say, “Take one of the kids, get out of the house!” So I got to go, because I was the oldest, which was pretty cool. So I think the first sailboat race that I did, for sure, the first one that I can remember, I was about four years old. And they did a crash gybe, and I got rope burn under my arm, and I thought it was amazing. My mom wasn’t so happy. But they also did not put limits on it. So I started racing on bigger boats in the– in the 70s, Jesus.

KY: So did you have, at that point, heroes as a kid that you looked up to in the world of sailing?

DR: When you’re that young, the only peers you have, the only people you know about, are your family. When we came back from sailing for a year, on the year’s cruise, I obviously had my eyes opened by seeing all the different places and all the different jobs in the industry. From, you know, powerboat captains to workers, to engine repair, to riggers in the Caribbean. You know, all of that just exposure, Antigua Race Week… hippie yacht captains, Jimmy Buffett, Ted Turner, who we met on the dock, a sailboat racer with TV cameras following him… so that was a whole exposure. And then when I got back, and started racing, the people in the industry, the professionals in the industry, were my role models. Sailmakers and boat workers, boat captains.

KY: And this was the year that your family went to the Caribbean, you said?

DR: Yup, we did that when I was 13, so I started working and being paid to work on boats when I was 15, and put myself through college doing that.

KY: That must have been incredible, just being with your family in the Caribbean like that and going from place to place.

DR: Uh-huh. Yup, it was very organized and scheduled. Lots of sailing events. We went as far as you could, I think as far as you possibly could on a 56-foot wooden boat in one year and seven days. Because we had an extra week. My dad had two leaves of absence, but he worked for a week in Puerto Rico to make it up. So one year and seven days from the time we departed to the time we got back. We were on a schedule, we rarely stayed in the same place more than one night at a time. So it was pretty cool.

KY: When you were growing up, as a teenager and so forth, what was your awareness of the America’s Cup and then the offshore sailing?

DR: My awareness of the America’s Cup was discovered during that year’s cruise. When we were in Newport, in ‘77, the trials were going on. And then, I didn’t really know about the Round-The-World-Race because there had been no stopover in America until the race we did. But when I came back, at North Star Sailing Club, on Lake St. Claire, there was a film on the Whitbread, and I’m like, “Oh! I want to do that!”

KY: You were a teenager when you decided you were going to do that.

DR: 15, yeah. Maybe 16. Probably in winter. 15 or 16, it doesn’t matter.

KY: But that was your moment. And you followed on that course to become a professional from that point on?

DR: Well, professional back then wasn’t really a word. You were a boat captain. The professional/amateur only came into it in the 2000s when there was a marketing push from the Farr office that was building boats and started saying, you’re professional, you’re amateur. And I kind of got a little bit screwed over in that. Thank God I had enough time before people discriminated against professionals. Because we were poor and we needed to work to be able to sail. And I was able to get my skillset up. But basically, as I wanted to go sailing, I needed to eat and I needed to pay for college. So I had a job working on boats and sail lofts and cleaning boat bottoms and making sandwiches and anything I could do to keep those two things. I wanted to sail, I needed to eat, oh yeah, and I needed to pay for college.

KY: And you had the aspiration to go as far as you could?

DR: No, I wanted to do the America’s Cup and I wanted to do the Round-The-World, but I also thought maybe I wanted to go to the Olympics. And I also thought I wanted to be an advertising executive on Madison Avenue. So I kept a lot of different goals and I didn’t really know that it was a possibility to continue in the sailing until I didn’t get a job in advertising. And then I was ready. So what I tell people here at Oakcliff is that you absolutely have to have a plan. And whether it’s going to be school, family, real job, business, boatbuilder starting a business– but you always have to have your seabag packed and ready to go when an opportunity presents itself. And that’s kind of what I did.

KY: I’ve actually (laughs) I’ve actually had the worst luck trying to watch the Maiden documentary. There’s been places that I’ve been where it was showing and I kept missing it. And I got the DVD now and I was trying to watch it last night and my computer is new and I hadn’t set up the DVD program, and so I only got to watch, like, the first half-hour.

DR: Oh, bummer.

KY: So I’m sorry I can’t ask you too many questions based on that.

DR: It’s okay. I will tell you that the movie is quite realistic. And they were talking about trying to make a Hollywood remake of it, and I don’t know how that would be possible. Because the footage was so good, the story was so well-done, and the only thing you could add to make it more Hollywood, honestly, would be romance. (laughs)

[x]

KY: That was the ‘89 race, and y’know, it really was just, I feel like there has to be some kind of movie about the ‘89 race, not necessarily about Maiden in particular. But just because there were so many different events going on, it almost doesn’t seem real that it was at this point in the world– that the Berlin Wall came down and…

DR: We weren’t even aware that that was happening because we were out at sea. There was satellite navigation really around the middle of the Earth, around Antarctica you were still using celestial. The electronic communications for weather– we would get a weather fax that was on that fax paper, where you get it too hot or wet and you can’t read it. There was a positioning once a day, but our only communication was SSB ham radio, single-sideband. So we weren’t picking up on the news.

KY: I have the “Maxi” book that I saw on the shelf, I got that one at Strand also, and I was looking through that and looking at the computer technology that they had onboard as research for my story. But just this… you came back to port and you would get all of this news that the world was changing so rapidly in this period. Did you have a sense that, y’know, something’s in the atmosphere?

DR: No, no, no, no. We were just isolated. I was literally talking about this last night with a friend’s nephew who just came back from Germany. He hasn’t been in America for three years. And I said, at least you have the Internet, because when I used to come back to do an event or a speech or something, I would at the airport, get People Magazine. Because there was no social media, there was no TV that we were watching. And I came back and there was a social event and people were talking about “Britney”. And I’m like “Who the heck is Britney and what’s her last name?”

KY: Britney Spears.

DR: Because if you’re gone and you’re not hearing it, you have no idea and the whole social world has passed you by. So you have to do some homework to catch up.

KY: In some of the books, they say, you know, the world could end and we wouldn’t know until we got to port.

DR: Uh-huh.

KY: I think in Skip Novak’s book, he said that they were at sea when the Chernobyl accident happened and they had heard that on the radio, and they were like, “What if we come back to the northern hemisphere and everyone’s dead of radiation poisoning?”

DR: Right, right. You are isolated, out there. Or you were isolated out there. Nowadays it’s much different. Nowadays, I think it’s lost a lot of the romance. There’s more people following– you see Cole Brauer and half a million people following, but is that entertainment or adventure? I’m not sure which.

KY: That was the first time you had been to the Southern Ocean, right?

DR: Yes.

KY: What was that experience like, being there for the first time?

DR: (deep exhale) Everybody says they want to be helicoptered in just for a day, which would be a disaster. Because the way that you acclimate to the Southern Ocean is that it’s a little windier, it’s a little windier, it’s a little windier, and each step up, you’re like “Oh my god! Oh, oh, oh!” And then on the way back down, as you’re coming out, you’re walking around in 50 knots of wind with a cup of coffee and you’re not spilling it. So it’s an acclimation, it’s not like you’re helicoptered in, “This is the Southern Ocean!” It’s a gradual in and a gradual out. There are moments you absolutely remember, just the amount of energy and extremeness and the adrenaline of sailing is pretty cool.

KY: From what they say, it sounds like it’s almost a world apart. Otherworldly.

DR: It is, I mean, everybody talks now about Point Nemo, we didn’t even really talk about that then, which is when you’re closer to the space shuttle than you are to land.

KY: Francis Chichester, he said, “I felt like I was planetary distances away from the rest of mankind.”

DR: OK, I wasn’t that eloquent.

KY: But was it like you were on another planet?

DR: We were racing as fast as we could to get to the next piece of land. And that is the thing people always ask, “Are you bored?” No. Because you’re in a competition, it might be a very long competition, but you’re in a competition. And yes there’s some fun times and there’s some relaxing, there’s laughs. But you’re focused. When you’re steering the boat, you’re trying to steer the boat as best as absolutely possible. When you’re trimming, you’re trying to do it as best as absolutely possible. You’re just doing it for a really long time.

It sounds pretty intense. [x]

KY: And there were several different nationalities onboard Maiden. It was organized in England and it was majority Brits, so how did you feel as an American being among Brits?

DR: Well, it wasn’t majority British, if you count Welsh, and Irish and Scottish, which they absolutely would. There were three proper English onboard. And then, it was weird being the only American only in that it was the first time I had ever been in an experience where I was the only American. I wasn’t even aware of a lot of the stereotypes until they started teasing me about it. “Seppo? What’s Seppo?” It’s like, septic tank. (laughs) But I didn’t know.

KY: It’s the Australian word for Americans, yeah. You know, when I’ve been doing the research for my writing, I type in “Whitbread Race” [in a search engine] and one of the suggestions is “Did Maiden win the Whitbread Race?” Because it’s become so famous now because of the documentary. So how do you feel knowing that you guys are now the most famous team that was there in 1989?

DR: Well, that’s fine. There was also the photo of my cleavage that was the most published photo of all of 1989. Or actually, 1990, because of the finish in Fort Lauderdale. In 1990, the absolutely top-published photo in sports was of my cleavage.

KY: …I’m sorry.

DR: (laughs) Back then, I wasn’t embarrassed, I didn’t even really care about it or know about it, but I was not a fan of coming into Fort Lauderdale as sailboat racers, in our bathing suits, because I thought it cheapened what we were doing. And I was quite against it. Ironically, then that photo came out and now I look at the photos and I’m like “Oh, if only I looked like that now!” (laughs)

KY: Did you have that, you know, almost stereotypical expression after you came back, thinking “I won’t do that again!” or did you immediately say, “I want to do that again next time.”

DR: Neither. I figured, I’ve checked the box, now what am I going to do? I was literally trying to decide between the Olympics and the America’s Cup when we finished. I did not intend to do the next race, I only did it because there had been a mutiny and I had to save the reputation of ‘89-90, because if the women had failed, then it would have been a step backwards further than before Maiden. Because Maiden was about “Can they do it?” “Yes, they can? Oh, that was a one-off.” That would have been the story.

KY: So you did the America’s Cup in 1992, and you were the first woman in a physically-active role [on an America's Cup crew in 140 years].

DR: Mmm-hmm.

KY: How did you end up joining that team?

DR: Open try-outs. There was a handful of women that tried out. I was just the only one that made the team.

KY: This is also, significantly, this is also the year in which there is the movie made about the America’s Cup, Wind, that’s the fictionalization of the events of 1983.

DR: That’s right, that’s right.

KY: And that’s kind of an alternate universe sort of story, but it struck me that this film that was set ten years before did have female crew, something that only became a reality that same year.

DR: I didn’t even think about that. I was so busy just training to go racing.

Left: Fiction, Right: Reality

KY: Were you aware of the movie when it came out?

DR: Oh, of course. We were aware of the movie. And I think I remember thinking it was okay. Everybody teased, everybody was joking about it. But I think it was pretty successful, pretty well-done. I had actually been asked to be in the film as a stunt-double at one point, and I thought they were joking. It turns out that they were, but it doesn’t matter– I was busy.

KY: Yeah, it’s one of those love-it-or-hate-it movies, y’know? I love it, I know people who hate it, but I love it.

DR: I don’t hate it at all. I’ve watched it a few times. There was a movie called Masquerade that I liked better, and it didn’t get nearly as much press.

KY: I like to joke with my friends that I’m one of the 600 people on Earth who have actually seen Wind.

DR: Oh no, I think there’s a lot of people that have seen Wind. Every junior sailing kid who has been at a program when there’s no wind out, gets to see Wind.

KY: You were part of America^3–

DR: America Cubed.

KY: Yes, America Cubed. Did you have the sense that you were the first?

DR: Oh yes. They maximized it in terms of publicity. We had three of us, there were two black guys on the team. So Art, myself, and Billy Ruh would go. It was the girl, the cute white guy, and the star black guy, we’d call ourselves the Mod Squad.

KY: Oh, like the show, yes.

DR: Which was a TV show from the 60s.

The America^3 crew were nicknamed "The Cubens" (pronounced like "Cubans") [x]

KY: So then you were in the Whitbread in 1993 again, like in the book. You joined the team after Leg 1 because there had been the mutiny and so forth… I almost don’t even want to ask anything because you said it all so well in the book!

DR: (laughs) So then just tell everyone to read the book. You can buy it now [online], it’s in paperback because we sold the 50,000 copies in hardback.

KY: In the book, there’s the contrast between the management side of the team and so forth and dealing with the lawsuits and the money troubles, whereas you said when you’re out at sea, you’re focused on very specific tasks. So did you actually prefer the simplicity of focusing on what was going on aboard ship.

DR: It’s ironic. Because when you’re out there, all you really… it’s actually pure. It’s wonderful. It’s amazing, because you’re just focus, focus, focus. And you’re just trying quickly to get to shore. And with the second attempted mutiny on the boat while we were racing kind of took that purity away, so it wasn’t as good as with Maiden. The second time around the world or the second time you’re in the America’s Cup is never as pure and fun with that sense of discovery as the first time. The ironic part is that you’re racing and all you want to do is get to shore and see people and have a glass of wine and have actual vegetables that aren’t freeze-dried. And then you get there and somebody hands you a beer and then you forget about all of that. The first couple of days onshore are really annoying because there’s so much distraction and then you get into a routine and then before you go back, you are like “Ohhhhhh, I don’t want to go to sea, I want to stay in bed.”

[x]

KY: You captured that so well, talking about being in South America and hearing the winds keeping you up at night. And in the book you wrote a lot about Gloria Borrego, who recently passed.

DR: (quietly) I know.

KY: She sounded incredible. Could you talk about her?

DR: She was incredible. She worked in the pits in NASCAR, she was a brilliant engineer, a problem-solver, always laughing. Amazing. Diana Klybert wrote her obituary, which summed up more than any of us knew in terms of one aspect of her, and it was tragic that she got cancer and died within two weeks. One of my other friends, mutual friends, was upset and said that she had so much left to do. But I pointed out, she had done so much.

KY: Just the good humor that came through in the book, where you were joking among yourselves, she was talking about her dreams, and she talked about how she dreamed she was a superhero. That was incredible, just so fun to read.

DR: Yup.

KY: And you also talked about how you were getting letters from students and that you were impressed that people were following you.

DR: Yes, because you wouldn’t remember, you weren’t alive. [Actually, I was seven months old when the 1993 Whitbread started, but close enough.] But the Internet was just starting to happen and CompuServe was the e-mail. So we would sent a fax to a supporter in… Annapolis, I think? And then he would e-mail it out, because you couldn’t take a picture then, you couldn’t send attachments, he would re-type it into an e-mail and send it out to people via fax or e-mail. It was basically an early version of a listserv.

KY: Yeah. I think that really the Whitbread and the America’s Cup were kind of pioneers in using the Internet for education [and outreach] and that way of letting people follow. The Whitbread website from 1997 had almost all of the modern features and everything! I know that in the 1995 America’s Cup, there was the PACT organization that was doing newspaper things for students every week. Really impressive stuff.

DR: Sailors are early adopters. Because we are so remote.

America^3 in 1995. [x]

KY: 1995, you were with the other America^3. Where it was specifically a women’s team. So that was, I suppose, the next step, now that there had been female crew, that there had been–

DR: 1995, yeah. It was basically because Bill Koch and his financial advisors didn’t want him to spend all of this time and money and effort to do it again and underwrite it.

KY: He had to do something different.

DR: And so they came up with the idea of, should we do an all-women’s team. They asked me, and I said, “Noooo, let’s just sail mixed, it’s more fun.” And then I sat down and helped write the business plan for that, we called it the Manifesto, but it was a business plan.

KY: I just thought when I read Huntington’s book and it was talking about the team dynamics and so forth and who’s in charge and interesting like that, talking with the trainers and so on. And here’s now we do certain things. I thought it was very funny, the story about forcing one of the chase boat guys to listen to you [all] talking about menstrual problems because he had been annoying or something.

DR: I don’t remember, there was a lot of funny stuff like that. Now, Anna was a rower, she came in kind of late on the team, but her background was journalism, so she wrote a journalistic story, which I fully support. It was slightly sensationalized to be able to sell books, a lot of the other women were very upset because it told too much. My belief is, whatever you do, you should be proud of it. So if everybody knows, it’s on the front page of The New York Times, then tough. You did it, you said it, it’s there, it’s true, share it.

KY: I thought especially talking about the resistance that she faced, I was very impressed by that, it was very scathing in certain places. Talking about specifically the things that people said when they doubted you. I was joking with my friend, I said “She called this book Making Waves because the publisher probably said ‘You can’t call it Screw You, Dennis Conner!’” (laughs)

DR: Okay, yeah. We don’t like Dennis, but he’s now old, he’s older. He’s, yeah…

KY: He disappeared.

DR: Yeah.

KY: And obviously that’s another incredible year in the history, with so many things going on, you literally saw a boat sink in the racing–

DR: Yeah.

KY: –and the different nationalities involved, of course it’s the year that Team New Zealand are just sweeping through. So, again, did you have this sense of being impressed that so many crazy things are going on and you’re in the midst of it?

DR: You’re in the midst of it and you’re trying to just get stuff done. It was a different campaign. It was extremely unfortunate that we had no women in the leadership onshore, obviously we were on the boat, but you need to have that crossover and it was just math, to a point. Because if there had been more women that had had experience in the past, then we would have had more women on the coaching staff, more women on the design team, more women in the marketing team. So you would have had more of a cohesive team, as opposed to the guys do this half, all the business, and the women just hurry up and go sailing. Which hurt us a little bit in some of the decision making.

KY: Yes, I got that sense from the book. And then you did have a mixed team in 2000, with America True.

DR: And we hired the designer of the boat that sank. (laughs) Because he was definitely not going to build a boat that was going to sink.

KY: (laughs) I’ve actually read the official program for that edition, I got it online, and I have a question I’ve gotta ask…

DR: Hopefully I know the answer.

KY: Why was Godzilla on America True’s hull?!?

Reproduced from Challenge 2000: The Race to Win the America's Cup, by Russell Coutts and Paul Larsen.

DR: That’s because… it’s hilarious. So, in the America’s Cup, there’s extreme security, you’re not allowed to go into another team’s base, you’re not allowed to take photos because of certain parameters and all sorts of stuff. And we did have some espionage, but that was, I’m pretty sure I know who– I’m pretty sure it was a Kiwi– and when we came in in the morning, it was so hilarious. So they’d snuck in and they’d put Godzilla on the Golden Gate Bridge that was on the side of the hull. So it was just a prank. We could have protested them and had “damages” because they were in the base.

KY: They touched the hull.

DR: Some of the people were upset about that, and myself and Chris Coffin just thought it was so f—-ing funny. We were like, “Leave it!” So we left it on forever.

KY: In the photos in the program, it’s there and I thought that you guys did that.

DR: Nope.

KY: But I thought, I’ve gotta ask why. In this case, you were in Auckland and y’know, this is not necessarily the period where it became– because it already was– that it was so integrated into the culture there. Did you have a sense of that, that this is a place where so much of the country is watching this?

DR: Oh yeah. Because I’d lived in New Zealand off and on since 1992. It was my home. I was actually in London a week ago and staying with Jenni and Spike– Jenni was on both Maiden and Heineken and Spike was on New Zealand Challenge– and I said, I think there’s more friends per square mile of mine in New Zealand than anywhere else in the world. Just because I know so many of them and they’re good friends. And I was lucky to be sailing internationally when it was the decades of the Kiwis, and they’ve all gone home to roost.

KY: And you said in Taking the Helm, when you guys got into Fort Lauderdale, you told the people who were not Americans, you said, this is the United States, there’s not going to be as many people as there were in New Zealand because we don’t turn out as much, so…

DR: Well, no, it’s because they didn’t know that the race was happening as much.

KY: Did you have a sense that this was so much a part of the culture, that people are going to recognize you on the street?

DR: They do. They still do.

KY: It’s a very different sort of experience, the way it’s integrated into their culture?

DR: Yeah.

KY: Like you said, Peter Blake was a national hero.

There are even children's books about him! [x]

DR: Well, there’s a big difference. New Zealand has a huge coastline, somewhere around 90% of people go boating regularly, it’s something insane like 86% own a boat, whether it’s a rowboat, or a launch, which is their word for a powerboat, or a yacht, which is their word for a sailboat. So of course you’re going to have more following. As opposed to, how many people in Kansas, Oklahoma, Idaho, North Dakota, South Dakota, y’know, Texas… there’s coastlines somewhere in there, but there’s so much vast, non-coastline.

KY: So would you say that our cultural disadvantage is our geography, in that way?

DR: It’s just different. Just different, yeah.

KY: So then, you were in management and media in the next two editions. Flip those around, media and then management…

DR: I was doing media coverage in 2003 and then I did sail on the boat up until the last 8 months, and I was general manager of the French team for 2007 where we raced in Valencia.

KY: That was K-Challenge. And this is, talking about, three different countries within a decade, that the America’s Cup was in. And with the people who are part of that, involved with that, they talk about their kids going to school in different countries and so forth. So what’s it like, just that nomadic life? Where you know that now we’re here, but we don’t know where we’re going to be in five years because we don’t know who’s going to win? And just going somewhere else, do I have to learn a language, learn basic phrases and so forth?

DR: Well, I mean, that’s a privilege, to be able to go and live in all different countries. Until Oakcliff, I had not lived in any place more than three years after I was 11.

KY: That’s amazing.

DR: It’s cool. And you keep light, you don’t collect a lot of c-—, and you don’t need a lot of stuff. You collect experiences and friends, as opposed to material things.

KY: And I know that in your book and also in Making Waves, you talked about, or people talked about you, reading home and garden magazines because it was something that was different from your own life.

DR: Well, yeah, also if you’re moving to a new place you want to– nowadays we call it nesting– but you want to take the time and that’s you’re creative outlet, to make things pretty. To do gardens. I think somewhere it’s probably written that if I garden, I want something out of it. So I specifically garden with vegetables and some fruits. Flowers are there… marigolds to keep the pests away, but it’s not to make it pretty. It’s to make it productive.

KY: Practical gardening.

DR: Yup.

14 years ago, the beginning of the AC multihull era. [x]

KY: Since that point, y’know, we’ve seen the America’s Cup change so much with technology and so forth. And that was sort of the point you moved out of that, you were working at Oakcliff, but how has it been watching all of these changes in the past fifteen years?

DR: (clicks tongue) Yeah, it has been fifteen years. I’m obviously out of the inside scoop on technology, I think the challenge is that there has been a concerted effort to make it marketable to the masses. And when I did the television in 2003, I learned, believed, and reinforced my belief that the way to make it entertaining and relevant to the masses is to educate the masses. Because sports fans, even if they don’t do the sport, want to be seen as the experts, so they can talk about it at the pub with their friends and have an opinion. You need to give them the information so that they can form an opinion in the end. That may or may not be right, because it’s all judgemental, but at least they have the tools. Just making something go fast and not educating people is not the answer. So the catamarans and the foiling gecko boats right now are a challenge on top of the fact that you don’t see the humans. People associate with humans. So I think there’s a lot of people that are in agreement with that, the question is, whoever wins, will they have the cojones to make that correct change.

KY: I’ve seen discussions of this, how much jargon do you use and for what audiences?

DR: Jargon is not a big deal. You say port, left side of the boat, starboard right side of the boat. It’s super frickin’ simple and it doesn’t have to be… it’s not the language that’s the problem. It’s the strategy, the tactics, the humans, why are they doing that? Oh, the wife just had a baby or that person’s mother just ended up visiting in town, the paint is a new coating that they think is faster, is it going to be faster or is more of a psychological advantage? Those kinds of conversations pull people in. And in all of that, I didn’t use a single sailing term.

KY: Right. The thing I was thinking, when I was reading the book on the beach, and it was 2020, I was in lockdown, and I was waiting for the next edition coming up in 2021. And it was at that point that DutchSail had pulled out. And I was thinking, you know, this is 25 years ago, and there was this cohort of women who were crewing, and now they’re not. I felt that this is the light that failed. How did you feel that there has been a technological revolution in the America’s Cup but not necessarily a social one?

DR: Well, there has been. Not in the America’s Cup, but SailGP, the Round-The-World, they’ve gone back and forth between incentives and requirements, and it’s making a difference. The America’s Cup is not going to put those rules in because almost all the rules are some sort of mutual consent, so you have to have at least two parties that are wanting to win to the death. So the only way that you’re going to be able to have women in the America’s Cup, I predict, by regulatory, by rules, is by having a sponsor who says we will give you corporate dollars as long as you have x number of women on the boat. Or you have the challenger and the defender who both believe it’s a competitive advantage for them to have their female on the boat. And then if they both believe that, then you’ll end up with women on the boat. But it’s really hard.

KY: Do you think that if you had been in the match in ‘95, that it would have been different?

DR: No.

KY: That people would have said, see, clearly women can be at least in the match, so…

DR: No. I don’t think anyone makes that distinction. That has nothing to do with it. And also, frankly, the Kiwis were so much faster, that we would have been seen as the women that lost the America’s Cup. So, no.

KY: And then with the set-up they have now, where they made a separate event.

DR: That’s… silly.

KY: Yes! That’s what I was saying, that I feel like previously it was by rule, open, but de facto all-male, now it seems like it’s de jure all-male, because you’re separating.

DR: Where it does help, and where it may help the overall event in the future, is because they’re focusing on women and youth, countries like Holland, Australia, I don’t know the other…

KY: Canada?

DR: Canada, those countries have an entree for young people with a longer runway, launchpad, to get into whatever the next America’s Cup is. So from a marketing perspective, it’s extremely good. Do I wish that we just had women on the real boats? Absolutely. And in particular, in the US, there’s at least two women that are relegated to the women’s team that absolutely should be on the real team.

KY: I feel like when you say “The Women’s America’s Cup”, that’s different from saying “Women IN the America’s Cup”.

DR: Correct.

KY: And with what you were saying, having a women’s team vs a mixed team. That when it’s a women’s team, there’s focus on that, whereas if it’s a co-ed team then it’s just people.

DR: Just people, exactly. We need to sail with people.

Liv Mackay, Gemma Jones, and Veerle ten Have of the New Zealand Women's America's Cup Team. [x]

KY: Now you work at Oakcliff and you have for 15 years now…

DR: 14.

KY: 14.

DR: It’s only 14. (laughs)

KY: What are some of your duties and responsibilities here?

DR: I’m the executive director and that means doing everything that needs to get done, from making sure that Matt’s buying the right washing machine ‘cause the kids don’t all take c--– out of their pockets and it ends up in the pumps and breaks them– that’s an eight-hundred-dollar mistake– to getting the art show set up, to the fundraising, to coaching the development person about marketing, to cleaning out the shop, to supervising the composites– although Luke’s doing an amazing job there– to sailing, to coaching.

KY: What is this art exhibit?

DR: It’s a fundraiser. So, we have an art show April 6th. We have one every spring. Hunt Lawrence is our main benefactor, and his wife is an artist and she has an art school in New York– New York School of the Arts– so we do a joint fundraiser every spring. And then she does a fundraiser in the fall with art shows. So it’s an art exhibit, there’s a champagne brunch, and all the art’s for sale and a portion, minimum 20% up to 100%, goes to Oakcliff. Hunt doesn’t care as much about all of that, he just thinks it’s really cool that we have a deadline to clean up the place from the winter mess to the summer.

KY: (laughs) Oh my god.

DR: (laughs)

KY: So what is life like for the students here?

DR: You can and should ask them. It depends on the season and the day. I’ve seen more people come through here, we’re at nearly 600 graduates, or over 600 graduates. And some years, it’s kind of the wild west in the beginning, where they’re living offsite and nobody under 18 was allowed. Sometimes we have super-young groups, just because we’re 15 and above. We had one camp where it was 8 boys and girls between 15 and 17, and then 3 women that were in their 60s. And it all worked, but it was awkward in the beginning and it became a great team-building event. At the very end of that particular camp, we had a competition where they divided up into teams and they would do a cooking competition where they could only use stuff that was upstairs, kind of like on Top Chef. They all brought it to my house for lunch and we awarded, I think it was a watermelon soup with a basil-olive oil puree drizzle and a sprinkle of feta that won.

KY: That sounds great.

DR: It was great. It was a 15-year-old boy that made that.

KY: Are you satisfied with what you’ve achieved at Oakcliff?

DR: We’ve achieved amazing things. Our goal right now is to make it sustainable without me onsite and without our main benefactor. So that’s our next frontier. At the same time, we’re under pressure to expand into Florida and to California, which is totally doable but I need to clone myself a couple times.

KY: Now that you’ve had so many people come through, what are some of the things you’ve seen your students achieve?

DR: I go back to Seth Cooley, is one of the top engineers at Future Fibers. Ervin Grove was running the North Sails loft in Charleston. Madeline Baldridge now is married to a coach who was here– and he is a son of our navigator from ‘92, so it’s a small world– she is one of the designers for North Sails. Chris Kennedy works for Melges and he and his wife have a flower farm in Wisconsin. Mark [Towill] and Charlie [Enright] obviously won The Ocean Race. Five of our graduates are working with American Magic. Robyn Lush is working with them a little bit, she’s also become an ultra-marathoner. Koko [Komar] is working in commercial real estate. Mike Nicoletti has a hedge fund. And that’s just off the top of my head.

X-Men comics and Percy Jackson novels taught me that all good specialized schools for young people with extraordinary talents must be tucked away in small towns just a train ride away from New York City…

KY: Do you feel like you’re almost, I guess, Professor X, finding the young talent and helping them…

DR: Of course. Of course. We’re giving them the opportunity to come in and try things out. It’s not always an easy thing. And it’s a little bit like I suspect parenthood would be. You’re just like, this kid is driving me frickin’ crazy and they hate me right now, and then 5 years later I’ll get an e-mail from them saying, “I was a jerk, and you were mean to me, but I needed it, thank you.” I just wish I didn’t have to do that over and over and over again. But we try to just keep it at a professional level, acknowledge that we’re asking for ultimate effort, and that not everybody’s going to succeed, but you know where the bar is.

KY: You talked about having the other locations. What are some other things you’re hoping for, for the future of Oakcliff?

DR: Again, the sustainability so that I don’t have to be here. Because it is a model where we have tuition for the Saplings, we have sponsorships, we have art shows. We have income lines, retail, and yet we need to fund-raise for the overhead, essentially. So about 50% of the budget comes from charitable donations. One thing that would make it more sustainable is to be able to get the landlords to agree to sell us the property, because then we would end up net positive on the bottom line. We do a capital campaign so we don’t have to pay rent. We’ve worked on getting the insurance down. So there’s a lot on the business side of it. It’s really boring to people, but we use our dollars. Around 90, I think the lowest we’ve been is 87% of every dollar goes to programming, and we’ve been as high as 96%. So we’re the golden children of utilizing every dollar for programming.

KY: Would you say that your reputation and star power are important to–

DR: My reputation, I’m not going to say star power, but my reputation and credibility is what built Oakcliff. The good news is that 5 years ago, 8 years ago, everything that happened at Oakcliff would reflect on me. Now Oakcliff’s grown to the point that if I just slowly took a backseat, it’s its own entity, which is a sign of success. Because it can’t be attached. If I get run over by a bus, 8 years ago, everybody would say, well, Oakcliff’s done. Same thing with our main benefactor. Now we’re trying to get it to the point that it’s not surrounding just one person. It’s more of the reputation of quality and a community.

KY: And I think we can see that it has to be larger than just the person.

DR: Absolutely.

KY: That the leader is not the whole organization, and if the organization is seen as too closely tied to the leader, then anything the leader does reflects on the organization and that can be a weakness.

DR: Exactly.

Oakcliff trainees Sweta Shervegar and Noelle Scheer in the boatyard.

KY: We spoke about the role of the sport of sailing in American culture. There has been, I would say, especially with offshore, sort of a decline in visibility in the past 25 years and so forth. And everyone’s got their own reason for that, y’know–

DR: Well, part of it is that it’s become more accessible. Before, there used to be one race, and only a handful of crazy people dared to do it. Now it’s become safer, more communication, more safety equipment, more rescue opportunities, more people. Again, Cole Brauer, in Class 40, livestreaming dinner parties… I mean, I didn’t take a shower for 5 weeks, and I barely had time to write in my diary and drink Ovaltine. Y’know, so, it’s a different… it’s more accessible, so it seems to be easy, but it’s also become more fractured.

KY: There’s many different races attracting attention, but also attention in general is more split because of the Internet and more TV channels. But it seems like, also, I feel like now “sports” means “ball sports” more than it used to.

DR: Say that again?

KY: I feel like now, when I look at ESPN and so forth, “sports” is ball sports more than it necessarily was when you guys were getting your specials on ESPN and so on.

DR: No. When we were back in the day, to have anything on other than football, basketball and baseball in America… even hockey struggled. It’s changed. There’s so much more inventory again, technology allows you to produce high quality broadcast-ready programming, so women’s sports has benefited hugely from that.

KY: Yes.

DR: Sailing is on TV more than you would think, but there’s also more clutter.

KY: I remember when the documentary came out, people said, if Mike Plant had lived, then we would have had an American visibly in the Vendée [Globe] and that would have brought more visibility for offshore [racing] in the United States. And now we do have some American offshore figures with 11th Hour Racing and now with Cole Brauer who are getting all of this attention. Do you think that’s a positive development that we have these people who are…

DR: Yeah. Of course it’s positive. The thing is, how do you channel it for a purpose and what is that purpose? Is it more eyeballs for your sponsors? That’s one thing. Is it more people in sailing? That’s a different thing. Is it a more robust industry? That’s another thing. Is it more environmental and ecology awareness? That’s another thing. Just taking this power, which seems to be scattershot, and putting it into a clear mission and achieving that mission. And all missions are achievable, you just have to know what it is that you’re trying to do. I think Cole is a perfect example. She didn’t expect it. So now it’s going to be really interesting, I think she might be going over to MerConcept. She has power right now, I know she has advisors, and her advisors and she have to make a decision. She could do like Ellen MacArthur. Ellen doesn’t sail at all, but she has her Ellen MacArthur Trust and she uses that to do specific charitable work. I think Cole’s probably too energetic, dynamic to stop there. But what does she want to do?

KY: What do you think that she did well, particularly with the presentation?

DR: The amount of followers she has is crazy. And she has brought in a huge non-sailing audience. And there is a legitimate discussion, like I talked about way back, amongst technical sailors, about the merits and how this happened. And again, she needs to decide what her purpose is and how she’s going to capitalize on something that she’s built that’s amazing.

[x]

KY: You were talking about also, the 11th Hour people who came through here. What would you say that they have perhaps done well in presentation?

DR: 11th Hour changed the conversation around the environment hugely and now they’re moving on to women with the MerConcept, which is François Gabart. And that’s Wendy Schmidt, that’s from the top, that’s a female decision-maker and leader.

KY: I wanted to say this before, but talking about the management side as well, you said that there has been a social revolution in the past few decades. I actually saw the interview for the 25th anniversary of America^3, where they had Melanie Roberts who’s the race coordinator for America’s Cup and for SailGP. And that she had been, I think, ten years old watching you guys? [Roberts was actually 9 at the time of the 1995 Cup.]

DR: Oh yes. Yes.

KY: The people on the boats get the most attention, but there are people at all levels who are sort of this generation that has been inspired by the people before them.

DR: Uh-huh. This sport is… it’s complicated. It’s an industry, and a sport, and a lifestyle, and a pastime. It’s all in one. We’re not going to talk about, we don’t need to talk about the Olympics, but that’s part of the national governing body of US Sailing, they also need to figure out what they can do and once they figure that out, they need to do it well. And they’re doing none of it well at this point. Because it’s so complicated. Unlike skiing, perfect example, there’s the Olympic ski team and then there’s the recreational part of it, so all the ski hills have a business association that then spins off some funding for the Olympic team.

KY: Are there any other people you think who are impressive competing nowadays, who came through Oakcliff or otherwise, who you think I should be following?

DR: I started going through names there, Lena Kurbiel is rowing with Liz Wardley [across the Pacific], so there’s one. Sydney Monahan has finished school, she’s going to do a Women’s Match Racing campaign. Sweta, our high-performance coach, is going to go over to MerConcept, Michaela [Robinson] is going to be over there trying out. If I started looking down the 600 people, I would have 600 names for you to follow.

#dawn riley #oakcliff sailing center #interview #female sailors #Whitbread Round the World Race #Whitbread 1989 #Whitbread 1993 #America’s Cup #AC 28 #AC 29 #AC 30

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richardsphere · 8 months ago

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Leverage Redemption Log: The Bucket Job

Title makes me think "bucket list"? either that or Keeping Up Appearances? (had to google "that show with the bucket woman" to remember the name) --- bells are playing and there is a giant semi-hollow pipe-structure of a snowman outside the building we're in. Its Christmas Special Time.

Librarian is giving the children some classic reading recomendations based on his knowledge of their likes (the girl likes pirates, which is a nice little gender-stereotype breaking to sneak in there without drawing attention to the subversion. Love it when shows feel confident doing that without the need to detract by boasting about it.) Young Man used to get Sherlock Holmes.

And the librarian is having a heart-attack... --- Harry is calling his daughter. His daughter doesnt want to spend the holiday with him because Mom is going on vacation to some resort (I think Aspen is a resort town in the states?) Ok either he has a son as well as a daughter, i am misremembering him as having a daughter, The daughter might be trans, or Nick is short for Nikita/vero-Nic-a, or Nick is more gender-neutral as a name then i thought (wouldnt be the first time, i went years thinking Sam was exclusively a female name because the only "sam" i ever heard of was from Totaly Spies). I am not sure which is the case. (im gonna place money on its a shortened-nickname though) Ok Sophie confirms its a daughter.

Elliot has been cooking, Parker is taking the long-distance part of Long Distance Relationship a bit hard around the holidays.

Knock on the door: its Doyledude. He's asking for Elliot by full name (sus). --- Doyledude's gay and his dads a preacher who didn't aprove of "woke" books like Charlie and the chocolate factory. (Yes Christians are that bad. Source: My dad got a chainletter that refered to the antichrist as an "avatar" of satan once and "The last airbender" and the blue smurfs were both insta-banned from the household forever).

--- "I am totally fine with revenge it allows us a range of outcomes the mark deserves". good line.

"Guess theres a lot of maurice's out there" KNEW IT, the moment they named him "blanche" i suspected we were gonna be getting a Maurice Leblanc reference. (of course they'd go for Arsene Lupin in an episode about the importance of libraries)

Harry's "so do I" is a simple joke but it lands well. 8/10.

I think we found todays villain: Its the guy harassing a homeless man for using the library. (fuck that guy) Ok ominous cut of someone taking pictures of Elliot. --- Sophie is walking around the theatre loading 100 checkov's guns at once (confetti cannon, Parker is booking a helicopter, red sportscar, Harry has a cane)

Sophie does a speech about the team needing to remember that this is a good person.

Elliot has gotten some of his old budies to work stuntmen. Parker is asking the very crucial heart-attack related question. Our safeword is Winnebago (google says its a campervan? Honestly, if it werent for the whole "automobiles are deathmachines I dont trust myself with" angle, i'd like one.) --- Librarian dude takes one look at the red sportscar and just thinks "dafuq kinda spy are you?" before stealing a regular car like a sensible person on the run from crooks would.

So, clearly the guy is either a someone bad upbringing who brought himself around, or an actual retired spy himself, who reads those books primarily out of nostalgia.

Ok its misspent youth, also the way he casually tosses the phone out the window. Love this guy. --- Im gonna be honest, while i apreciate the consistency of parker still being the Christmas Monster, the way her characterisation has mellowed out to using store-brand santamugs after she was first introduce as off-the-wall enough to use priceless jewelry as garlands is weird to me.

Breanna carelessly dismisses an attack on their own firewalls and servers. Harry's moustache is bad but the eyepatch is worse. --- Four stars? Comeon man. (good improv)

Actual Goons are here! "take spencer" knew it! no way that Doyledude would know Spencers full name. Mr Blanche has stolen a sportsbike. --- Turns out yeah, he was a former spy. Its RIZ bitch (did we get a name? I dont remember) she's looking for "the ledger" (presumeably a list of secret identities. We're looking for a book kept by a librarian. Its in the library. Probably that book samurai book he's been reading regularly) Ok so this is definitly becoming a recurring thing with the way she first used Elliot to find which guys to hire and is now talking about making him an instructor. Is she the secret person he's been phone-ing that breanna was asking about this whole episode? (i thought it was the Supercop from Arlo) --- Blanche has a gun pointed at our heroes. PTSD in a bottle, cause thats a thing that exists now. Wilson is still holding old job secrets from them? Thats... weird. --- Wait, Elliots dad is alive? But I thought that the episode ending implied otherwise? (Might be me being bad at understanding the subtext of that scene, might be a retcon) --- Mr Blanche has already beaten all the guards in the time it took a drugged out Elliot to break a chair. (Pretend to be the new guy, classic "heavy object in a sock" prison-improv weapon. 8/10, guy knows what he's doing, but is also a bit rusty and forced into improv mode) --- Turns out, he didnt retire because he wanted to retire but because no one would believe the ledger was destroyed. Luckily floppy disks suck at long-term storage.

Harry is talking with his old boss, trying to be the angel on his shoulder while the boss is trying to be the devil on his. (still really odd that we went through the trouble of establishing our heroes broke in to find Harry's ledger of old sins and that we're now going the "Harry wont tell them his old sins" route.) --- Copperhead and Elliot are talking. Copperhead does not want to go out by cancer. (we're faking his death and assigning him to International arent we?) --- Confetticannons are a go-go! (they're meant to simulate pages being shot by guns)

Blanche got disarmed and shot with his own gun. (definitly a death-fake) --- Huh, RIZ-woman doesnt actually kill the guards who fail her objectives. She just blackmails them into following their NDA's. (profesional)

Yup it was in the big samurai book. (obviously) and he's getting the rental.

OK so Hardison sent the library boy. (explains why he knew Spencers name)

Ok So Elliots dad is alive just not around for the holidays ever.

#leverage #leverage redemption season 1 #leverage redemption #The Bucket Job

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dylvana-v · 1 year ago

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Diary of a Hopeless Romantic

Pt. 12 - the unsaid

He never said anything that would make me be certain about his thoughts, his feelings, his whole opinion about all we had. He never said anything, but today I started to know. I know how he feels now. I am certain since so much more is said in the unsaid. There is so much meaning in actions and I now know. He likes me more than just some coworker. He is interested in the real V. I am sure.

So you now may wonder why I am certain, right? Let’s tell you about today then.

My best friend stayed at my office again but this time she just stayed there and did not walk with me when I had stuff to do. So after my usual morning schedule I had to go up to some ward and see a patient.

When I was upstairs I saw another coworker I adore, so I decided to stop at the cardiology ward and the moment I passed E’s office I saw him building the lego flower I got him. I checked if I had any stuff to do and then walked into his office just to make fun of him. He told me that he feels like a kid building those, but it was just too adorable to me.

We talked about the lego for a short while and then they asked me stuff about work. They wanted me to give some presentation about all they had to know about my job, but I refused. I just told them some basics and explained a few things to them (won’t tell it here since I am the only one who would actually be interested in this country’s health system).

The boys started joking around again and now we get to the first clue of “why I think he likes me”. Whenever either he told a joke or his coworker said something mildly funny, he would look over to me to check my reaction. It’s a common psychology thing that I started to notice a couple of years ago. When you are in a group of people there usually is someone you feel the closest to. That person’s reaction you check first, there is only one exception to that and this exception is if you are interested in someone. If you like someone you tend to check that person’s reaction all the time to see if they liked what you said or what that person said, to know their preferences, to get to know them.

He did exactly that. He checked all the time what reaction I showed, which I noticed quite early. I really had to hold myself back to not point it out.

Moving on to the second clue. When I had to leave I would have just left quietly, since some other doctor came and so on, but he told me “see you later, V. We'll see each other in the cafeteria at the latest”. This was just an invitation for me to meet up with him later, eat with him and spend time with him. Ok, I know this isn’t a 100% foolproof clue, but I still count this.

So the next clue will come later. Let’s stay in the timeline.

We met up for lunch. He sat down with us, calling it a “deja vu” as it kind of became a thing. We talked about his school days again, me showing him another picture I found. Then we continued to talk about random stuff. Again, he included my best friend a lot. I am not sure what we talked about exactly, since it was about so many things, but I remember me teasing him again.

I told him that the social service of the hospital will change up the wards they are in charge of so it may be that I am not their social worker anymore. His face changed immediately and he asked me what that meant. “Well, it could change, so I am not in charge of you guys anymore...", I told him. “I will cry then”, he said and this actually made my soul laugh.

My friends and I do this as an insider joke a lot. Whenever we ask a hypothetical question that is about some negative outcome, we would always respond with “I will cry then”.

I cleared it up by telling him how I am sure that I can keep the cardiology, so he told me to just make it happen. This could count as a clue, but could also just mean that working with me is just easier than with any of my coworkers. At the same time he told me he will miss me when he has to change up wards sooner or later.

Eating lunch with them was a highlight for sure and when they left he told me he will finish the flower by tomorrow morning, so I should check it out. Not sure if it was an invitation to go see him at his office (but I want to believe it was, so I do. Who will stop me?).

Let’s skip some time and move to the last clue. My best friend and I met some social service coworkers of mine after lunch and spend a bit of time with them. When we went downstairs to my office, I stopped by to check if there were any documents finished for me. While waiting for the elevator, E passed us. I waved at him, he waved back. When going back to his office (or whatever he had to do), he looked back. Maybe he wanted to check if I was still standing there or he just wanted to catch a glimpse of me. Whatever he did that for, he looked back right at me.

My best friend and I were about to fangirl, but the elevator was too full. But I just felt some emotions in the way he looked back.

All those small little actions, the way he talked, the way he asks about stuff (that probably aren’t even interesting for him), the way he is just presenting himself to me. I just know that this is interest in me. I know since he is not telling me this with words, he is telling me this with every option of “the unsaid”.

And it makes me happy, just the certainty of him putting meaning to us.

- the hopeless romantic

#co workers #doctor #hospital drama #romance #social worker #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writerscorner #writing #diary of a hopeless romantic

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snowflakebyyou · 11 months ago

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Is it love, obsession, limerence, infatuation, fun, validation?

I always found myself obsessing over men. No lie in that. I love men, I dislike the behaviours that many, if not all men I’ve met possesses. But I can’t help but love them. When I find myself in a position of having a crush, its all-encompassing. I want to know everything about their day, and how they felt when they woke up, are they horny today? What do you see your life looking like in an ideal world? What about the world would you change? Any fantasies you’ve never played out? I go from 0-100 , but ALL in my own head. And, usually for people who merely saw our interaction as short, temporary and minimal.

I don’t communicate this well and then tend to self-destruct as I go around in circles in my head. My friends usually witness a slice of this. but I cop the rest, quietly. I worked in therapy about how this linked to my needing an emotionally available male figure, and that I seek this through physical validation from men. I also learnt that I can get this from myself, and healing this wound is not overnight and it takes work.

I find a lot of my validation from myself now, people have said I’m too much, and it may be a lot for them to follow me on social media ; that’s ok. I much rather a self-obsessed me, compared to a self-loathing me, and I know those in my life that matter to me, would agree as well. But then there’s those moments where I become intrigued by a boy. I find myself wondering, and maybe even involved. Then I started to obsess over whether he likes me or not. Instead, of worrying If I even like him at all, or do I just need him to like me.

90% of the time, its wanting him to be into me. My ego loves to be fed by men. I stopped caring about hat women think of me when I starting to like myself. But im still working on the men part. I go between caring too much to not caring at all and both of these levels aren’t healthy for me to sit in. I constantly wondered why people could just date someone and know they want to be with them straight away, like do you actually like someone enough to want to spend that much time with them?, or why my close friends that are in relationships constantly make jokes about me being crazy when it came to men. I’m definitely on the scale , but isn’t every woman? As told by history, any woman with a voice is borderline insane? Yeah.

I mean what’s wild is, I have really high standards written out for myself, a list of my ideal partner. A list that I try to embody myself. I still go for the same kind of men, because, as ive said before, I’m emotionally unavailable. So men that are on the same level as me, work for me for right now. I’m comfortable and I feel more in control dating or seeing men that I know wouldn’t work long term – and they know it too. We basically keep each other occupied. The one before the one.

Fast forward to when I heard of a term called ‘Limerence’. Limerence can be described as an experience of insanely strong desire for a person. But obsessive. Like being stuck in a limbo of being uncertain and hopeful, never really knowing which one.

Although I don’t completely relate to it, there is aspects of limerence that have made sense to me when I have thought I’ve liked someone. Almost as if, when the chase started to diminish, or it started to be mutual - I lost interest- I know it links to that idea of physical validation but this I believe goes deeper.

It’s a hectic thing to be aware of, but I simply feel like a child in a play centre, where everything is so exciting, there’s so much fun to choose from and you want to have a turn of it all! then when another child has a turn, you immediately HAVE to have what they have. Or that toy is so high up you need someone else’s help to get it down! But when you get it , you realise its just like the other toy you had just been enjoying. It’s that exciting sensation of the unknown per se. its intense, and uncontrollable. Its overwhelming, consuming and keeps you distracted. But it isn’t healthy.

This isn’t to say men are toys. Or people for that matter. They are not. Peoples feelings are real and vulnerable. And to have someone show you who they are and feel completely comfortable in your energy, is really special and rare. Real connection is not a game and a person who is meant for you, will never feel like they’re toying with you or make you feel like you’re on a shelf waiting to be picked. But if im being completely real, this is how I have felt in the past.

Its hard to be apart of a world where everyone compares every situation, when they are all so different. We all have different life experiences that bring us here. We’ve had partners that have destroyed our confidence and trust in other people and relationships that have been results of unhealthy addiction or obsession that just proves to be nothing positive. The way we each view the world will always be inherently different because WE are. My understanding of me is going to be different to the next persons, ill never see what you do about me, and you’ll never know all of me. Its funny how that works?

L, xox.

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bisexualmormon · 2 years ago

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I know this sounds dumb but I really hate the number four. I don’t like writing it, I don’t like looking at it, just not a fan of the number.

It’s been a bad week for me. Depression has been hitting really hard, and with me working long hours and not getting home until midnight, sometimes it takes a toll. Sometimes when I am at work and we can put on our own music (because the same generic coffeehouse radio day in and day out can grate on your nerves), I will put on a mix. Some of my coworkers call it musical whiplash. It goes wildly from different genre, especially when on shuffle. I put the Reading Rainbow theme on there as a joke to see if anyone noticed, and they did. It’s quite the hit. But something about 90′s club songs really helps. Really gets you grooving. But that doesn’t stop the intrusive thoughts at night. The ones telling you you aren’t good enough, that you aren’t good at your job, that you can’t do anything right. It’s hard fighting off invisible, non tangible threats. You grow up doing self defense classes (because I am a woman) and you know how best to save yourself from those that would do you harm. Physical harm.

No one really teaches you how to fight the emotional threats.

Spiritual ones yes, that’s what the scriptures are for. That’s what prayers and conversations with god are for. But the emotional days when you are crying in your car on the drive home, the nights where you are unable to sleep in your own bed, where you can’t even take enjoyment from the things you love, that’s what they don’t teach you in school. Sometimes the shopping trips to target are good therapy the ones where you come home with two bags and $100 lighter in your pocket. But it only puts a small band aid on the problem.

I was at work yesterday when my friend looked over to me and asked ‘are you ok?’. I really didn’t think that this simple question was going to break me like it did. I started breaking down and I happened to blame it on a patient that we lost and everyone understood. Everyone was ok with it. What I couldn’t tell them is that I am sad, that I’m hurting, that I have been hurting myself a lot lately. The pain reminds me that I’m alive, that it feels good to feel something that isn’t just constant sadness and anxiety. I lay in bed and night and I can feel my heart wanting to pound out of my chest and dance across the floor and go live a better life with someone else. But today I found comfort in such a small thing that the tears I am crying right now are not ones of sadness, but of relief.

I have talked about this before but I have a terrible relationship with my father. Haven’t talked to him in over a year, I don’t keep contact with him and it’s for the best for both of us (yeah, it sucks but that’s another topic for another day). I do have a step-dad who I am close with. I joke with my mom that I might be his child because we both have an intense obsession with true crime. We swap new shows with one another all the time. We talk about cases constantly. We both followed the Lori Vallow case together really closely (didn’t help that he had a friend in the investigation who couldn’t tell us ANYTHING and we were just dying). He treats my mother so well, and he is a wonderful man. My sister and I were watching a show today and while it was sad and we were both crying, it was for two different reasons. She cried because of the show.

I was crying because I was admitting to my mother over texts that I was breaking apart and self-harming.

Hard to tell your mom these things when she made my body. Took her nine months and way too long to get me out and this is how I respect her? By causing cuts and welts across my body? Yeah, I was an absolute wreck (but so was my sister because Bill and Frank IYKYK). I asked if my step-dad could give me a father’s blessing. She said that he would love to but he was feeling sick and not awake so we could go see his parents instead. My step-dad has a step-dad who is a great guy, and very in tune with the spirit. I put on my clothes and went out to drive to my mom’s so she could drive me to the in-laws because we both knew I was going to be crying my eyes out after and driving was not in the cards for me with it being dark and me being a big fat baby. We lied and said it was the stress of my job that was killing me and I just needed a blessing to get through some rough times.

Father’s blessings have been something I grew up with. My dad would give us one before the first day of school, he did it once before my brother had surgery, and I remember one time when I think my mom was really sick we gathered as a family. It’s always been a staple of my life and I just wanted that comfort. But obviously without a father or a male in the house that holds the priesthood, I’m SOL. Back when I was living in Utah I had my visiting teachers come and give me several blessings when I was at my lowest. I remember just not feeling the same way I did as a kid when I got my blessings, I didn’t have that rush, that feeling of the spirit. I don’t know if it was me or something else. I don’t think it was the brothers’ fault. They were great. They were there for me at times I was trying to end it all. But I didn’t feel that warmth that I wanted to have so badly.

But when my pa blessed me today, there was this rush that came over me, and when I thought I was going to be crying my eyes out, because I am an emotional baby, I didn’t. It was this peace I have not felt in so long and all that sadness was tucked away for a moment. Pa reminded me that I am loved by so many people, and that everything is going to be ok. Just because I am feeling down right now doesn’t mean it’s going to stay. It’s ok to feel bad, doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way. My mom recorded it for me, and so now I have this little treasure that I can have, my first father’s blessing (well step-step-grandfather’s blessing) that I have had in ten, fifteen years, and a comfort that is helping to fight back those annoying thoughts that refuse to stop.

It’s late, I got to get to bed. My kitten refuses to leave my hands alone and needs me to pet him. He keeps my hands occupied in bed when I am feeling those little urges to cause some pain. He’s a cute little turd. Even if he refuses to eat his own food and goes after everyone else’s food in the house.

Love you guys.

A.G.

#bisexuality #bisexualmormon #tw self harm #cojcolds #lds #spiritual

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halfmoondaze · 3 years ago

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Love Buzz

Signing with Ford Models has been everything I ever dreamed of. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

Today was my first high-profile modeling job, which consisted of walking at The Row Spring 2022 Menswear Collection in Paris. Ever since I started as a model 7 years ago, I would only get casted for commercial jobs for small brands so hopefully, this could be my big break.

The atmosphere was filled with excitement and intrigue. I was currently lined up as I was waiting for my cue to go out. As I hit the off-white runway, all my nerves disappeared and I found myself trying to maintain a relaxed neutral facial expression as I was so excited that this was happening. I was wearing a minimalist asymmetrical backless gown featuring a tight-split and draped neckline; and camel-colored stiletto heels, accessorized with the brand's signature micro bag I was holding in my left hand.

In the middle of the runway, I moved my hair to showcase the back of the dress and to my surprise, the crowd went kind of wild for a moment.

Once I went backstage I felt like I was able to breathe again not realizing I was holding my breath the entire time.

After the last model closed the show, I walked back to the runway with the rest of the models tracing around the entire space followed by the Olsen twins coming out for their final bow.

The following morning I woke up in my hotel room to find my phone blowing up with over 100 notifications, that consisted of congratulating messages from my management and friends. And others were of friends who tagged me on the latest headline. Apparently, the little flip I did became viral on Tik Tok.

Not only that but Jack Harlow was also in attendance, which is something I didn't realize until my friends messaged me about it knowing about my crush on him.

And I guess I caught his attention as I realized I had a notification that he started following me on Instagram.

While I was the topic of conversation for the hair flip moment, I had already moved on to other things. I received a call from my management announcing that I had landed a job with New Balance but what I didn't know yet, was that there was someone who was also set to star in this campaign.

New Balance sneakers have always been a staple in my wardrobe since I was a kid and all of my friends owned at least one pair of New Balance sneakers; so to officially join the brand is just so surreal to me.

"Ok, you're done" the makeup artist announced.

I was getting ready for my photoshoot while also being interviewed.

"And I have everything I need. Thanks" the reporter said before leaving the set.

Upon meeting the director and the photographer, you were later introduced to Jaden Smith and Jack Harlow. I was starring alongside Jack and Jaden in this new campaign. Jack was just as charismatic as I thought he would be.

"Hi I'm Jack" he said with a charming smile as he walked over to you and reached out for your hand.

"Y/N. It's nice to meet you, I love your music" I managed to blur out being a bit starstruck by his presence while shaking his hand.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it" he smiles.

"Ok let's start. Y/N I want you to stand in between Jack and Jaden"

I moved from your position and stood in between Jack and Jaden.

"Jack, can you bring your leg closer to the lens?" the photographer asked.

"Like this?" he asked moving his leg to the lens direction.

"Yea, right there. Jaden you stay like that but lift your chin up a little"

"There you go perfect" the photographer said taking multiple pictures.

"Ok I think we got it"

Overall the photo shoot went great. And I noticed that during the photoshoot Jack couldn't stop himself from glancing at me every once in a while, which was something even the photographer joked about every now and then.

The photoshoot went smoothly as I found myself goofing around with Jack and Jaden. At one point the three of us had a few breaks and managed to catch up with the other.

Even though the photoshoot started at sometime around 10 am, the photoshoot didn't finish until sometime at noon.

"And that's a wrap" the director announced.

Everyone started clapping and I went back to my dressing room to get your things and go back home.

I was mindlessly scrolling through my Instagram when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come In" I said.

As I glanced at your mirror I saw it was Jack who was coming through your door.

"Hey, I just wanted to say I enjoyed hanging out with you"

"Me too, I hope we can meet sometime again"

"Well that can be arranged, can I take you out some time?"

#jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #social media au #social media fic #jackman thomas harlow #jack x you #fanfic #Jack Harlow social media au #model au #model!reader #jack harlow

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missmouse25 · 2 years ago

Note

Hey! Hope your feeling better! Can I send a request where reader is American and comes to the uk to surprise max for his birthday?

Hey Sophia! Um... im actually still not 100% healed but im definately better. 😬 if i had had a brain on me i wouldve done for Max's actual brithday but rather late than never, i suppose 🤷‍♀️also i think this is offically my 30th Max F fic on this site... crazy. please enjoy

The Birthday Boy - Max Fewtrell

gender neutral first person pov // 600 words // reader gets a little flirty towards the end but nothing serious

---

Heathrow was huge. And easy to get lost in. But I was determined to get to the exit and get to my boyfriend before the day was over. With my hand firmly on the handle of my suitcase, I pushed my chest out and made my way in the direction I thought the escape was.

The last time I’d been in this airport, Max had been with me and he’d effortlessly guided us to exactly where we’d needed to be. Today however, Max had no ideas I was even in the country. I couldn’t call on his aid: there was no way I was going to ruin his birthday surprise.

After almost taking the wrong train and a thrilling taxi ride, I found myself standing outside my final destination. The sun was already beginning to set but I had made it in time; the house id spent calculating the difference in time-zones had not been wasted.

Hastily, I unlocked my phone and dialled Max’s number. A giddy feeling resonated through my body knowing that we were so close. That he was just on the other side of the door.

“Hey, babe,” Max answered the call.

“HI! How’s your birthday been?”

“It’s been good. Very calm.” He sighed. “It would be better if you were here, if I’m honest.”

“I know…” I feigned sadness as I pressed the doorbell.

“Oh.” Max sounded surprised. “Someone’s outside. Give me a minute.”

“It’s ok.” I covered my mouth to stop the laughter that was threatening to spill out.

The faint sound of someone shuffling around inside the house grew louder and louder until finally the front door opened. There stood Max, phone still pressed to his ear.

“Should I call back later?” I joked, watching his expression change from one of confusion, to shock and then a huge smile.

As it clicked in his mind that I was really there, he threw his arms around me in a hug, lifting my feet off the floor in the process.

“You’re here!” Max was excited and I could hear it in his voice, if his reaction hadn’t been enough.

“Yes, I’m here!” I giggled. “Now put me down, birthday boy. I want to kiss you.”

He didn’t need to be told twice and soon I was tasting his lips like I had some months ago.

“How long are you staying for?”

I dug through my suitcase, pulling out all the sweet treats that I’d brought from America; all the ones I’d remembered Max enjoying when he’d visited.

“Only about a week.” I fished out the last packet and flung it at him. “That’s all the leave I had available. I’m sorry it isn’t longer.”

Max opened up the Twizzlers as he spoke.

“Don’t say sorry. I’m thrilled that you’re here, love.”

I closed my suitcase, pushed it aside and joined Max where he sat on the bed.

“Does anyone else know you’re here?” He asked, taking a bite of one of the pieces of candy.

“Nope. Did this all on my own steam.”

“Wow, you’re a real champ,” he stated sarcastically, which earned him a light smack on the leg. “Hey! You can’t hit me, I’m the birthday boy!” Max whined, pouting his lips. Such kissable lips.

“And I’m the person who flew half way around the world to see you, the rules don’t apply to me.”

I moved to sit with my legs straddled over Max’s lap and took his face in my hands.

“So, I suggest you shut up.” I leaned in close to him. “And let me give you a real birthday treat…”

#yay! there it is #its cute #its fluffy #what more do we want out of life?#max fewtrell x reader #max fewtrell fanfic #Mouse Writes #ThatKindaVibe

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

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Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends.

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well.

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling.

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in.

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either.

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @the-fuck-up-of-today @slashersdream @chiefwombathoagiepizza @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01

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timeandspacenovelist · 3 years ago

Text

Almost A Nightmare

Rating: G Chapters: 1/1

Summary: While she's recovering after her tag match, Rhea Ripley finds herself being helped out by an unexpected source, which changes her outlook on certain things.

Notes : Just a tiny fic I wanted to make after the tag match last week Monday. I'm enjoying the developing respect and friendship between Nikki and Rhea and I wanted to add a bit more to it.

Read this story also on :

Archive Of Our Own

Rhea sat in the women’s locker room, ice pack to the back of her neck. She had just come off a match where she got a Samoan Drop and a Natural Selection, so she felt it was quite needed right now. She had shrugged off medical attention when she had gotten backstage, but then when the pain annoyed her too much, she went to the trainer’s room and returned with some ice packs. Normally, she wouldn’t have gotten caught out so easily, but she had had a match earlier in the night with Nikki ASH, so she wasn’t on top of her game. There was maybe a time where she’d be up for two matches a night and could do it easily, but times change, and so did she.

She gave a quick groan as she touched the sore spot on the neck. It sucked, but it was necessary. She leaned forward and looked down at the ground. She couldn’t dwell on what happened tonight. She had to look forward to Summerslam and give that her full attention. But that attention, at least currently, was broken because of by a knock on the door. One Nikki ASH, in her civilian clothes, stood looking at her sheepishly.

“What do you want?” Rhea said, her voice raised slightly because of the pain. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout. Just a bit annoyed right now.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Rhea went to protest, not particularly wanting to talk to anyone right now, but she needed Nikki for one thing. “…. I do need someone to ice my back.”

Nikki went and picked up one of the other ice packs and applied it to the middle of Rhea's back. She winced at the initial chilly feeling, but then eased into it, enjoying how it soothed the pain.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you in the end. Should have held up my part of the team.” Nikki said, her voice low.

“Wasn’t much you could do. Neither of us were at 100 percent and they were fresh as daisies.”

“Not our best decision, accepting that tag match.”

“Nope, but I’ve done worse to be fair.“

Nikki’s mouth curled into a curious smile. “Like?”

“Entering Wargames. Woke up sore the entire week after that. Granted, wrestling at Survivor Series the night after didn’t help.” Rhea said, chuckling, remembering those two nights fondly.

“I thought it was really brave actually, even though I could tell you’d regret it in the long run.”

Rhea was taken aback slightly by the praise given. It’s not something she heard everyday. Usually people would chastise her (if albeit in a joking manner) for taking such a risk. But she didn’t care what they would think. It was two matches she’d never forget as long as she lived, invaluable to her career and her life.

“I don’t regret it, actually,” she said, shaking her head. “I’d do it all over again if I had to or could. It was my chance to put myself on the map in WWE. I had to take it. Nowadays though, I don’t think I’d be so eager to do it.”

“That’s your experience and maturity talking. You learn quickly when and when not to take certain risks. Trust me, I’ve been at this 13 years now, it becomes a very valuable trait down the line.”

“A superhero and a wise mage. You’re so multifaceted.” Rhea told her, smirking.

She had never gotten many opportunities to speak to Nikki before, at least not in such a personal and relaxed time. She had to admit; she was a bit surprised at how wise Nikki seemed. She knew of vets who wrestled as long as her that she learned nothing from when they offered her advice. So this was a nice change of pace.

“Ahem. Almost a superhero, but I will accept the wise mage moniker.” Nikki corrected her with a smile. “You’ll get there one day. I’ve been watching you since we faced off in 2018. You’re improving week after week. It’s kinda scary actually, if I’m honest. You’re so talented.”

The redness on Rhea’s face let Nikki know exactly how her praise resonated with her. “Thanks. Do you go around, complimenting all your temporary tag partners like this?”

“Only the ones who I consider my friends.”

Rhea’s faced turned slightly incredulous. Friends? Is that what Nikki thought of her? That was….. unexpected. She hadn’t exactly shown herself to be a friend type person. In fact, she was a loner through and through, only asking for help when she absolutely had to.

“You... consider me your friend?”

Nikki rested the ice pack down, and sat on the bench next to Rhea, realizing that this was something she needed to hear face to face.

“Of course. You showed me respect when others didn’t, and you were willing to help me when others didn’t. That usually constitutes a friend in my book.” Nikki said with her customary wide grin.

“That’s...nice....” Rhea told her, still not completely on board with was going on, mostly confused if she was honest.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just...you’re the first person to call me a friend around here. Not something I’m really accustomed to. I’m normally on my own.”

“Which is a damn shame if you ask me. You seem like a great person, once people get to know you. Take it from someone who was also a loner for a while. When the opportunity comes when someone wants to be your friend, take it. Being alone in this industry of ours, isn’t necessarily the best strategy.”

Rhea’s face turned red again as she looked away from Nikki. She had an idea and wasn’t quite sure how it would come across. She was the Nightmare, the most dangerous woman in WWE. She couldn’t be seen saying this to someone like Nikki. But seeing as no one else was here, and she was in a slightly less aggressive mood than usual, she decided to let loose.

“So something like, I wanna be your friend too.”

“Exactly.”

“Nikki?”

“Yeah?”

“... I wanna be your friend too.” Rhea told her with a half smirk, half smile, not quite knowing how to react to what she had just said.

Nikki, on the other hand, knew exactly how she wanted to react. “Oh! Oh, yes! Of course, you can be my friend too. That’s great!”

Rhea could only smirk at Nikki’s excited approach, her infectious personality hard to get away from.

“Oh! Can I give you a nickname?” Nikki continued. “Maybe like a superhero name! How about...?”

“The Nightmare is all the nickname I need. How about we stick with just Rhea for now?” Rhea told her, cutting her off. She wanted to be Nikki’s friend, but she drew the line at nicknames, especially of the superhero variety.

“Of course. It’s a lovely name.”

“Glad to hear. Now, I’m not gonna spend all night here. How’s about we head out and get something to eat?”

“Fine by me. What are you in the mood for?”

“I’m thinking... Chinese food.”

“I’m definitely ok with Chinese food. I’ll let you go and change and I’ll wait for you outside.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Rhea said smiling, her first genuine smile today.

Nikki then left the room, letting Rhea get on her with her stuff. Rhea sighed once she left. There was a part of her that wondered what the hell she was doing. She was the Nightmare. She wasn’t supposed to be friends with pretend superheroes. What would the Rhea at Wargames think of her now? But the other part realized that Rhea couldn’t be who she was anymore, at least not wholly. She needed to change, to move forward. RAW was a whole different beast than NXT. A lot tougher than she had expected. She couldn’t just go around doing what she wanted, she needed to be strategic about it. Sometimes the strategies involve befriending people, though if she was honest, this was more personal than tactic. She really did like Nikki and found her endearing. She had somehow melted the icy exterior she had put up, by simply being so infectiously happy all the time. But in all honesty, Rhea didn’t mind it being melted.

#rhea ripley #rhea ripley fanfiction #nikki ash #nikki cross #wwe #wwe raw #wwe fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own

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some-kindofgnome · 4 years ago

Note

Same anon here!!!! So looking at it I think food can fit into 3/5 love languages.

Most obviously and what I think would be Katsuki's main one, acts of service. As someone who was raised to show love and care through food, this hits home. He will sit and wait with baited breath when he tries a new recipe. He will never tell you but when you smile wide and tell him it's amazing, he is probably doing cartwheels internally.

Next up! Giving gifts. One of the best reactions I've gotten to a gift was when I made my ex fiance freezer meals he just had to microwave for Valentine's. And same with what you said about baking cakes!!!!! Giving food is also like giving someone a little piece of you!!!!!! Like here, have some of my heart but in a metaphorical, non-canibalistic way!

Lastly, quality time!!!!! Ok so one of my first memories is sitting next to the stove on the counter making smiley face pancakes with my grandma. You can't tell me Bakugou wouldnt secretly enjoy having you keep him company while he cooks. Probably doesn't want your help but loves having you there.

I can't help myself so here have a blurb:

He didn't realize what having you in the kitchen would mean to him. At first he thought you'd just get in the way, but no, you just sat on the counter or on a stool talking when he asked a question, humming to yourself when there was a comfortable silence and very rarely handing him a tool or ingredient if he briefly forgot where it was. You became his taste tester and despite his stoic expression, he secretly lived to watch your face light up when a new dish was good, and on the off handed chance it was ok or less he would spend the next week correcting it till you beamed at him once again!

Sundays became a ritual. Wake up, breakfast made by him, work out, clean everything besides the kitchen and then keep your boyfriend company while he did a week's worth of meal prep. He prefers you to sit on the counter next to where he is working. Better hugging and kissing height and he lives for the way you stop him from time to time, (when he isn't holding a knife) pull him close, running fingers through his hair and kissing him deeply. Once you wrap your legs around him it seals the deal and you take a brief detour from meal prep.

You threw off his whole plan for proposing to you this very way. He had reservations for a fancy dinner, someone to take photos, flowers, the whole nine yards. And yet. The morning off you had both woken up late, and as Katsuki stood at the stove making your favorite breakfast, he melted right into your touch. The ring he had constantly had on him for two weeks suddenly felt heavy and something about the moment just felt right and perfect.

So there, in the room you may very well use the most in your house, on a quiet Saturday morning, Bakugou Katsuki fell to one knee, "marry me?"

Yes, yes yes, was all you could say between tears and hugs and kisses. Until the smoke detector went off, the forgotten breakfast having gone up in flames.

And when you can't be 100% certain, you are confident at least on of you kids was conceived in that very kitchen. And don't think for a second Kaminari let bun in the oven jokes go once he found out!

Years pass, routines change, but, something remain. Katsuki showed his love through food and he sat each and every child up on the counter to watch, until they were old enough to help and learn, planting the seeds of this tradition in their little minds early on.

And you stand in the door way, admiring your husband and kids, watching sweet memories bloom before your eyes. Food connects us in some of the most beautiful ways. For the Bakugou household, food meant love.

Sorry it got so long!!!!!! Also, I did purposefully send it off anon, so no worries if you feel like sharing it. Or feel free to hoard it forever! Up to you! It's the least I can do for all the amazing writing you give us!

okay, okay, OKAYYYY, i’ve been sitting on this long enough. I wanted to keep it in my inbox forever and ever and ever so I could treasure it, but I’ve settled for taking a screenshot because the world deserves this joy just as much as I do. Especially today. Today feels like the right day to share this.

I just re-read your little drabble and it made me sOB BIG FAT UGLY TEARS. that spur-of-the-moment, private proposal is all I’ve ever wanted. and it feels so true to Katsuki, too. he doesn’t care who sees or who you’re with. he doesn’t give a shit about pomp and circumstance. he just wants you, and wants to show you that in the truest way he can.

to be proposed to spontaneously in the kitchen is a whole new level of special, especially for me. this conversation got started because we were talking about food as a love language and I connected so deeply with it because it’s my love language. to spend a single Sunday afternoon in Katsuki’s kitchen would be sublime. to spend every sunday in Katsuki’s kitchen would be transcendent.

thank you… so much for writing this. i’m literally about to print it out and stick it in my journal. i want it on paper. i want to keep it forever. i love it beyond explanation.

thank you 💖

#gnome answers #i love you. i want us to eat well #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #this is so so so special #thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU #💖

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 3 years ago

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

Meant To Be Good News

A/N: ... heyyyyy- its been a bit. I got rapped up in exams and i felt like being productive today so u get a chapterrrr and i wrote another one so u have about two chapters guaranteed ill try to be more consistent lol (also long chapter as compensation)

(also let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!)

First | Previous| Next

words: 2286

summary: Virgil doesn't want to deal with this mess but he was sent to deliver a message so, theres not much he can do

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit, Remile

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, negative self talk, food mention, worried for a characters safety

(let me know if there's any other)

They went up the steps in silence.

As they entered through the door, Roman grabbed the basket that was abandoned during the argument. He left it on a table near the entrance, he headed towards the corner with shelves, grabbed a brown book, nothing interesting in the cover, just a plain brown book and headed towards the window seat to read.

Virgil was struggling to decide if he should try to speak or not, he absolutely despised small talk but if he didn't talk he didn't want it to get awkward. He looked over to Roman because if he did decide to talk to the prince, what in the hell would he even talk about?! Virgil saw the royal glance up from his book to look at the small table near all the shelves that had a single red book, it was simple like the one he was holding, it just had a title, yet it caused more intrigue than the other.

When Virgil took a good look at Roman he looked somehow defeated, like he had lost- no, given up on a 100 year long fight. The monarch glanced once more at the table with the red book, this time however, he caught a glimpse of the stormy knight, “ You should sit down, the trip back alone takes a few hours, it's gonna be some time before you get to go back.” Virgil looked up at the prince who had resumed his reading, “Uh… yeah” he took a seat near the desk Roman kept glancing at.

Virgil decided to take a glance at the book. It seemed to be a fictional adventure book...seems interesting. Roman looked at the table again and spotted the tall knight carefully opening the book. “It’s an adventure book. Just a fairytale.” Roman’s voice seemed to startle Virgil as he immediately slammed the book shut.

“Y-yeah sorry, I didn't mean to open it without permission, that was so rude of me and-” Roman stopped him mid rant “It's alright, you can read it. One of my personal favorite books.” The prince smiled at him to show he didn't mind “I’m not much of a reader. I just uh… got curious, I guess?” Virgil didn't seem sure of his answer. “Well, I can give you a small summary! If you’d like me to, of course.” Roman backtracked pretty quickly, snide comments about how excited he got over meaningless things forcing themselves into his head. But Virgil’s “Sure, Why not?” Made him a little less apprehensive.

“Ok! So, the story is focused on this boy named Aaron. He is a poor farm boy living with his family in a village that was overthrown by the guards, they became corrupted and betrayed the royal family and took control for themselves.” Virgil just nodded along.

”They treated the least wealthy of the kingdom the worst, they didn't have money to bribe them with so to them they were useless, it got to the point where they were becoming the robbers, they would never steal from people with money because they were cruel people. Aaron and his father wanted to make a change but his mother didn't want them to, she wanted to play it safe and just gather enough money to leave for a better place.”

Roman rambling about the story not realizing how little of a summary it actually was since he definitely wasn't being concise, “I agree with the mom. Her plan sounds safe and effective.” Virgil didn't really mind, at least he wasn't going to be bored while he waited, “Maybe so! But where's the fun in that, dear knight?” Roman didn't really get the knights perspective “May not be fun but at least they'll get outta there without a problem” Virgil thought he was in the right and that the main character would make stupid reckless decisions for the drama and suspense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aha! They went back to the mom’s plan anyway! There was literally no need to try and do all that heroic shit.” Virgil was now fully invested in the story, he probably wouldn't have been if Roman wasn’t such a good storyteller.

“Well yeah... But it was worth it! If they didn't try they would have never known the outcome of that situation.” Roman was happy the knight seemed invested, he was mostly happy because he finally got to discuss the book with someone, and that someone had very different opinions than himself.

There was a knock on the door.

They both looked at each other, It didn't feel like they had been talking for that long. So, who in the hell was at the door?

Virgil stood up, hand fidgeting with the hilt of his sword. Roman stood as well, they both walked towards the door. Virgil opened the door, only to find Ruth on the other end of the door. “Oh, it's the lady from earlier.” Virgil turned to Roman as he let her in.

“Nurse, how did you get back so quickly?” Roman spoke up. “I wouldn't say it was that quick, it's been a few hours. But we found someone along the way so that did speed up the process.” Ruth talked as she noticed the untouched basket and started nearing it.

Roman and Virgil on the other hand looked at each other with confusion. It didn't feel like they had been talking for more than half an hour. “I'm sorry, I must have been talking your ear off.” The royal felt a need to apologize, “Hey, at least you made the wait entertaining.” the knight did not deem it necessary.

Ruth turned and glared at Roman. “So, you haven't eaten?” Roman glanced at the untouched basket and cursed under his breath, he completely forgot. “ Well…” Ruth was not having it “You brat.” She walked behind him and started pushing him towards the table.

“I had an excuse!” Ruth stopped pushing him “And what is it?” Roman turned to meet her eye and said, “I get nauseous when I eat too early.” Ruth looked unimpressed “I'm fully aware Roman. But it's almost noon.” Roman’s brain scrambled for another excuse “I was reading and I lost track of time.” She was still very much unimpressed. “As long as it wasn't the book you always read, fine by me”

As Roman’s nurse made sure Roman ate she noticed Virgil standing a few feet behind them. “I wasn't able to introduce myself earlier. I am Ruth, the brat’s nurse.” She extended her hand with a smile. Virgil shook her hand while he chuckled, which was interrupted by Roman’s overdramatic offended noises. “Nurse! You’re making him think I'll be a nightmare to care for!”

Ruth turned to him “Was I supposed to lie to him and tell him you’re a delight? My apologies, sire” Roman put a hand on his chest and gasped. “Now I understand why Trent called you a witch!” Ruth laughed, “You’re just basically proving my point.” Roman could only grumble and go back to eating.

Ruth took a look around the tower and spotted the red book on a table. “I see you've decided to become a liar huh?” Roman turned to her “Whatever do you mean?” She walked towards the table and picked up the book “Seems like someone was reading the same book they always read, I don't understand why they read it if they've memorized the whole book!” Roman knew Ruth was only joking but he didn't appreciate being called a liar “I wasn't reading it this time it was just out in the open! You can ask him!”

Roman pointed at Virgil, Ruth just looked at Virgil expecting an answer, “He wasn't reading that book, he was reading the one by the window” it wasn't a lie. “You better not be covering for that devil.” Virgil noticed there wasn't any malice behind her voice, her words portrayed something different. “Are you accusing me of being a liar? I thought that was reserved for the prince.” Ruth started laughing “Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Virgil just chuckled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman’s nurse sat next to the window, looking out worriedly. Roman knew his nurse fairly well, “Has Remy not gotten back yet?” Ruth sighed and turned “My son and his tardiness again”.

Roman went over to his nurse, giving her a hug “I’m sure he’s just a little late..” Ruth tried to smile at Roman “I know Roman. I'm just a worried old hag.” Roman rolled his eyes and sat by the window

Ruth looked out the window one last time and took a deep breath. “Well I have to get going so we get there some time before sunrise” Roman stood up to say a proper goodbye to his nurse. “See you in a few days…” Roman really didn’t want to let go but he didn't have much of a choice.

Ruth started packing what she had brought in silence, once she neared the door she spoke “Roman, his and her majesty will have to be informed about this incident..” Roman was obviously not content because this would surely somehow be put partially on him. “Yes, I understand.” Ruth smiled sympathetically and turned to the storm eyed knight only a few feet away.

“Virgil, you’ll have to stay with Roman for a while longer. Commander Arlott sure didn't expect the need to find a replacement for Trent and truly not a day after being stationed here.” Virgil just nodded, he understood the circumstances and was glad to be able to witness such a sight. “The Commander insisted it would take quite some time to take someone off their post, he insisted he wasn't worried.” Ruth opened the door ready to leave, while Virgil was just trying for the pressure to not get to him.

Ruth said her final goodbyes and exited the tower.

Virgil then turned to the Royal, who went back to the same spot he had been before Ruth arrived, and just stared out the window as his nurse left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman sat near the big window just looking out he started wondering why Virgil had even come here in the first place. He vaguely remembered Trent mentioning him being a messenger but that could just be some Knightly insult he was unaware of. So… he asked “Virgil, if you don't mind me asking...why exactly did you come here?” Virgil looked alarmed for a second as he had just zoned out for about 20 minutes “Commander Arlott, wanted me to deliver a message to Trent” Roman just responded with a simple “Oh” and resumed his staring out the window.

“So… how did the book end?” Virgil felt a little embarrassed to interrupt the silence to ask but he got extremely invested, to the point that if the Prince refused to share the information he might just read it himself. Roman just laughed, he knew how intriguing the book was “Well… In the middle of the mother’s plan being in motion they actually got word of a rebel group that had been inspired by their attempts to take the crown back.” Virgil sat down right across from the Royal nodding for him to go on.

Roman continued speaking but he kept getting distracted by a tapping sound. At first it was nothing, but then it got so prominent he couldn't ignore it anymore. Mid-rant he stopped himself and started looking around to see where the sound could possibly be coming from.

Virgil was confused as to why the heir had stopped speaking but then he started to hear taps. They didn’t sound like just a regular forest sound and they would surely not hear minuscule noises from such a height.

“Dear knight, are you hearing that?” Virgil nodded and stood up to see what could possibly be causing the ticks, Roman stood right along with him and then suddenly pointed towards the balcony doors. “Virgil, it's coming from the balcony.”

Virgil stopped to listen carefully “Yeah, but what's causing it?” They then saw a little pebble hit the glass doors of the balcony and make the tapping they had been hearing.

Roman went to the balcony with no hesitation and opened the doors.

Virgil started having his thoughts race a mile a minute, what if this was to lure the prince out to assassinate him? If the prince died on his watch he would be hung no doubt.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he moved forward to follow the prince. He then quickly realized the prince was leaning over the balcony having a casual conversation with his possible murderer.

“Remy, what are you doing here? Ruth is going to kill you if you don't get there by sunrise!” Roman screamed down to the man in a black cape with dark tinted glasses covering his eyes. “Well yeah! But I had to make a stop here! I have something for you!” That made Roman start jumping with anticipation as to what Remy could have brought him from his trip

“What is it Rem? Is it something fancy? Is it food? Is it a book?” Though his eyes couldn't be spotted, not only because of his glasses but due to the height, it was very apparent he rolled his eyes. “No! It's a letter.” That got Roman even more excited. Could it actually be him? Roman haven't received anything but it could actually be! Finally some good news!

“Who’s it from?!” Remy looked down at the letter as if inspecting it “I don't know.” That caused Roman’s excitement to dull immensely. He would have surely marked it. There’s still a chance it could be him, right? Roman’s anticipation quickly turned into more of an anxious feeling.

taglist:

@meowthefluffy

@shade-romeo

@pattonsmile

@sevencreepycatsinacoat

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@innerpostturtle

@queenof-hell

@joyrose-fandomer

@vpow

#prinxiety #remile #ts roman #roman sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #roman angst #prinxiety fic #platonic remy n roman

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fan-girling-101 · 4 years ago

Text

Switched

Request by Anonymous: Hello can I please request a imagine where the ready has a twin sister and they decided to switch and see how long it takes everyone to notice. The reader is also dating JJ!! Thank you!!

JJ Maybank X Reader

Summary: Request^

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, slight rape just a little bit sorta

Word count: 2880

The twin Sadie, her nickname by Rafe is Die I hope someone gets the reference. Also thank you so so so much for my first request I was so happy. Please continue sending them in. And I’m very slow at updating so sorry in advance if I take a long time to respond.

Part two

Not edited sorry for mistakes

When me and my twin sister Sadie where younger we’d switch places all the time. I was amusing being someone else for the short time we’d do it. As we got older it stopped happening as much until the last time we did it was grade 6. The two of us have lived on the rich side of the Outerbanks our whole life The rich people were never my scene though, so I made friends with the pogues. I was closest to JJ out of everyone in the group and slowly I found myself falling for the blond headed idiot. And somehow that’s how I ended up here, two months into dating JJ but scheming with my sister.

“Come on Sadie just for a little bit.” I pleaded with her, between the two of us Sadie was always the level headed and calm sister. It was my idea in the first place to switch places back in kindergarten.

“I am NOT kissing JJ.” Was the main argument to why she didn’t want to do it.

“I don’t want you to kiss him. He’s my boyfriend, it’s not like I’m going to kiss Rafe the lo-” I got cut off with a hand over my mouth. The love of your life was the ending to that sentence. Sadie doesn’t like talking about it but she’s in love with Rafe Cameron.

“If we do this you need ground rules.” She states looking around my room for the notebook we would write the rules in everytime. She finds the dark read notebook on the bottom of my bookshelf and grabs a random pen from my desk. “1. No kissing anyone. I won’t kiss JJ and you don’t kiss you know who.” she says gesturing with her hand.

“I’m never going to kiss Voldemort.” I joke as she starts in her effortlessly perfect handwriting.

“Your so funny I might die of laughter.” Her bitch face on as she glares at me. “2. Don’t make and life altering decisions.” I nod along thinking of what else to add.

“4.” “What about 3 stupid.” “3 is a stupid number I don’t like it. 4. I pick what you wear and vice versa.” She starts writing it down writing three instead of four. “I think that’s it. There’s a bonfire tonight at John B’s tonight wanna start then?��

“Yea that’s good I’m supposed to go over to Sarah’s. And take a picture of it because if you do anything wrong I’m going to kill you and throw you in the marsh.”

“And remember no kissing ya know.”

Day one

Y/N’s Pov

Sadie dressed me in a white summer dress and I took her car over to the Camerons. When I park outside of the huge house I text Sarah to let me in. I pull down the sun visor and open the mirror looking at my appearance with the light make up and my Y/H/C slightly curled.

“Your name is Sadie Y/L/N, your 16 and in love with Rafe Cameron.” I take a breath getting in the mindset of my twin. “I can totally do this.” I hop out the car making it to the first step when Sarah opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hi you know you don’t have to tell me you’re here. You just walk in.” She opens the door wider so I can slip through. I awkwardly laugh nodding my head unsure what to do. “Go up to my room I’ll get snacks.”

I walk up the stairs trying to remember where her room is. I’ve only been here a few times before Midsummers so we could all get ready together. I look both ways before deciding on going right. I get to the door I think is Sarah’s opening it praying to God I was right. But God decided on taking a vacation, instead of the light purple walls I was hoping for I got grey ones instead.

“Fuck!” I hear, the person in the room faces me calming down once he sees who opened the door. “God Die what the hell. Next time knock, and what are you even doing here.”

“Umm.... I’m lost. I think my brain stopped working I thought this was Sarah’s room.” I say looking around the room my eyes landing on a white substance on the desk he stood up from. “What’s that.” I ask hoping it’s not what I think it is and Sadie’s crush is a druggie.

“Nothing, two four doors down.” I slowly nob. closing the door trying to forget what I ‘didn’t’ just see. “And Die you didn’t see anything ok.” I nod again opening the right door this time sitting waiting for Sarah.

Sadie’s POV

“Hey princess.” JJ greats me as I get out of Putt Putt Y/N’s car. His hand finds its way to my denim clad hip from the shorts Y/N put me in. I really just want to push his hand off me, this is my sister boyfriend for God sake. He leans down to press him lips to mine but i turn my head his lips landing on my cheek instead.

“Hi.” I wave to the rest of them pulling away from JJ. I try to ignore the stare coming from the blond as I sit in one of the lawn chairs. The sun was going down as I got here Y/N telling me what time to leave and what to wear before heading out way earlier to the Camerons.

“Late as always Y/N/N.” John B shakes his head sipping the beer in his hand. Never once has my sister been early for anything and it stresses me out so much I don’t know how she does it.

“It’s called being fashionably late Booker. But you wouldn’t get that would you?” I laugh knowing that was something she would say to her best friends. JJ sits beside me still staring so I turn to face him giving him a smile, he relaxes a little bit wrapping an arm around my shoulders. My or Y/N’s phone rings in her backpack I grab it out seeing the text from ‘My Person’, it was what we agreed on for our contact names after we repeatedly binged Grey’s.

My person

Bro what do you and S talk about????

The latest drama at school

Sooo.... What is the latest drama

God do we even go to the same school Immanuel P. kissed Madison B.

Seriously!!

In a few hours it hits midnight and I was freezing. The cropped AC/DC shirt and shorts doing nothing against the cold autumn air. The night of Autumn in the Outerbanks were always so cold for a place that’s supposed to be hot. The fire was helping but I wanted something more. I got up to check Putt Putt for one of Y/N’s hoodies but I was pulled back landing on JJ’s lap a small shriek leaving my lips.

“Were you going Princess.” His arms tightly around my waist while my arms go around his neck. His eyes staring into mine with nothing but adoration. I was happy that Y/N had someone in her life that loved her, but the way he looked at me thinking I was my sister makes me want to tell them a little . But I have to admit this is so fun.

“I’m cold and just going to find a hoodie.” He still doesn’t let go, instead one hand moves off my waist to grab something beside him. In his hand is know a black hoodie that would be way too big for me but as he hands it to me I slip it over my head. “Thanks.”

“You ok, you seem, I don’t know... off.”

“I’m fine.” I give him a reassuring smile but I can she he doesn’t buy it.

“Are you sure you know you can tell anything right.” His thumb starts rubbing circles on the exposed skin under my shirt. I am so taking a long bath when I get home. I like JJ, it’s not like I hate Pogues or anything it just weird though.

“I 100 percent fine J, if something was wrong I’d tell you, you know that”

“Yea I do.”

Day 2

Sadie’s POV

Nothing was happening with the pogues today so I got an off day, but then I had to go and say something I wish I didn’t.

🥰My Surfer Boy🥺

You doing anything Can I come over

Sadie is dragging me to a kook party

Well then I’ll just have to score an invite

Now JJ wasn’t going to stop till he could come which wouldn’t be hard as Sarah was inviting John B.

Y/N POV

We pick out each others clothes before going to the party at Topper’s. I go to find Sarah lookinaroundud for the blonde. But instead of finding that blond I see Sade and JJ, his arm wrapped around my sister making me jealous.

“Hey Die.” A voice says right behind me making me jump not at all expecting Rafe. He chuckles at me reaction before handing me a drink.

“What’s in it.” I ask, Sadie doesn't normally drink so I don’t know if I should take a sip of the dark liquor. “Trust me.” Is all he says back. I take whiff smelling how strong it is. Me personally would never trust Rafe, but this is Sadie not Y/N. I take a cautious sip. The second I take a sip I almost gag at how strong it is. I could handle alcohol but that is to much. Rafe starts laughing so I grab the front of his shirt and pour the rest down his chest.

“Hey Hey.” he pushes me back but it’s to late his shirt now had a dark stain on the front. “Okay maybe I deserved that.” He shakes his head at mumbling something about changing his shirt. There was a tug on my arm and I was faced with myself, well my sister. JJ behind her laughing putting his hand up for me to high five. Which I did.

“What are you doing. I would never do that.” She scolds me in a whisper so JJ won’t hear. When we switched Sadie was very serious about staying discreet.

“Well I can’t kiss him as you what do you want me to do?” I laugh as she scoffs walking away JJ following behind her still laughing.

Day 4

Sadie’s POV

Four days nobody really suspected anything, well other than JJ he keeps asking if I ok. And I’ve had to dodge every kiss he tried to give me, and when I tell you JJ loves kiss Y/N it’s an understatement. It was the night of a boneyard kegger hosted by the pogues.

I was chatting with Kie about turtles when a very drunk Kelce came over. He slung his arm around my shoulder, his drink spilling out of his cup and onto Y/N’s favorite shirt. I never really liked Kelce he just made me uncomfortable. Any time I saw Rafe, Topper and him out I’d always say hi, bothe Rafe and Topper would respond with a hi while Kelce would look me up and down before saying anything.

“Hey babygirl. God you don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of fucking you are you sister, to have the two of you under me screaming my name. Why don’t we make it reality.” He drops his mostly full cup silling it on the converse I was wearing. His hand going to my waist and his lips attaching to my neck.

“Get off me! Stop!” Suddenly he was ripped off me. JJ’s fist colliding with his face. Kie grabs my hand asking if I was okay. I nod hopping into the van. Soon enough John B, Pope and JJ came to the van, JJ sitting right beside me wrapping me in his arms hugging me as no one said anything.

“I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to punch him in the face for him to stop.” JJ said as we park at John B’s. I grab my phone leaving the van before it’s fully stopped I ran inside Dialing my number.

“Yo Sade how’s life on the cut.”

“Were you ever going to tell me about Kelce.” I ask angrly pacing around the small bathroom.

“About that.” She nervously laughs not continuing. “Maybe should've warned you Kelce is in love with us before you went to the party.”

In Love with us! Y/N he tried to have sex with me!.”

“I know.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

Day 5

Y/N’s POV

I was at a small party just some friends over and some games at Sarah’s. We were all sitting in the living room talking about all the drama at school which I knew nothing about. A hour in Rafe and some of his guys friends walked in. Just as Sarah was going to tell them to leave Carmella asked them to stay, while practically eye fucking the kook king himself. Instead of walking over to the girl begging for his attention he sat beside me on the couch. I put Sadie’s phone I was currently texting her on so she could keep up with everything down.

“Nice to see you here Die.”

“Hi Rafey.” I replied back using the nickname I usually call him. He rolls his eye as Carmella sits basically on top of him and starts a conversation about some boring kook thing. I felt bad for Sadie if this is what she has to deal with. “Come on. We’re out of snacks.” I grab his hand pulling him with me to the kitchen.

“Why do I have to come.” He whines like a baby as we get into the hallway, but follows even when I let go of his hand.

“Because I need help getting snacks.” JJ please forgive me for what I’m about to do. I grab the front of his expensive polo shirt putting my lips to his. He starts to kiss back but I pull away grabbing Oreos and walking back to the living room. Soon Rafe walks in clearly shocked of what just happened in the kitchen. Rule one and two broken. Oops.

Sadie’s POV

After hours of sitting in the sun on the boat I’m practically dying. I mean sure living in Obx you get used to the heat but someone turn the heat down. JJ has been asking me nonstop questions about things which I find weird but I answer.

What star sign are you? Virgo

Who’s the president? Trump

How many states are there? 50

9x7? 63

Our favorite thing to do together? Surf

What does www mean? World wide web

What university are you going to? UNC

Dream job? Not sure

I was confused what was happening the Pogues all asked what JJ was doing but he just said nothing.

“Sadie.”

“Yea-shit.”

“HA I knew it.” JJ jumped up startling everyone. I sighed, everytime it was always me that messes up if people find out.

“How did you find out. Was it that I knew was www meant?” I question texting Y/N to get to John B’s. As we pulled up to the dock Kie got out laughing that I should be an actress.

“No it’s that you answered 9x7 so fast. Also next time dream job is opening a surf shop together.”

Y/N’s POV

When I show up I knock on the door fiddling with my fingers. The door opens with the blond headed, blue eyed boy kissing me. He wraps his arms tightly around my back like he hasn’t kissed my in forever. I giggled kissing his nose wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Took you long enough. Five days surfer boy, gotta do better next time.” I push past him into the Chateau. “Hey guys miss me.” They shake the heads at me calling us crazy.

“I just thought it was that time of the month or something.” JJ said wrapping his arms around my torso resting his head on my head. I hit the back of his head causing him to playfully bite my ear. “Don’t ever do that again I was worried you were mad at me.” He looks between me and Sadie and I turn to face him giving his a salute.

I sit beside Sadie whispering in her ear that I kissed Rafe earlier tonight. “WHAT!” She jumps up. “You broke rule one and two!!! I have to go fix what you messes up now!”

“I didn’t break rule four though.”

“I hate you!” She runs out of the house starting up her car and driving off to the Camerons.

Later that night I’m curled into JJ on the bed in the room he claimed as our. The shirt he was wearing now over my shoulders enclosing me in the smell and heat that is JJ Maybank. My head on his chest listening to the rhythmic heartbeat. In the five days without JJ this is one of the things I missed most. His smell was just intoxicating and his arms tightly around me felt safe.

“Oh JJ I may have kissed Rafe.”

______________________________________________________________

Part two

#jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #rafe cameron #kelce smith #topper thornton #sarah cameron #obx #outer banks #outerbanks #outerbanks imagine #obx imagine #twins

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