#this inspires me to make one myself^^ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inkskinned · 1 year ago

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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mythicalcoolkid · 4 months ago

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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crunchchute · 6 months ago

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gec

#another art piece for like 3 ppl in the world me included.#inspired by making my max plush wear my gecs shirt i made for a concert i went to 2 years ago #i had a purple one with yellow stars and i also made a yellow one with notes for my friend i went with #my art #crunchchute art #sam and max #100 gecs #eye strain #eyestrain #ask to tag #sorry its a bit too bright #i thought it would be a fun idea perhaps someone did this before but i dont remember seeing it #and its fun with sam getting to wear that hat hehehee #i had trouble with the poses here initially they were So different but im fighting some art block burnout something so #i just made it simpler for myself #copied purcell and made them jump/run in an empty space

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duu-kiwi · 1 year ago

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I bet aziraphale wrote about the day the universe was made, about the angel whose voice recited the words that created the stars, about how bright they shone, and still shine, in those angel eyes✨🪐

Here you have some detailss and a cropped version with just!! them!!!

edit: prints link !

#Good Omens #good omens fanart #good omens season 2 #there is something something abt the diary(?) that aziraphale writes #that theyve might wrote abt that time too #and i also thought abt the possibility that crowley will found and read them someday #i had like three separate pieces that make this concept a bit more linear? im really excited because i had a really fun time making this #it was challenging but oh so regarding to make a full piece since 2021 #anyways i really love them and they have inspired me to push myself a little further so im really grateful for that #also FOR THIS SECOND SEASON THAT NO ONE HAD THE RIGHT TO MAJE IT THST GUTGRENCHING AND FUNNY AND GOOD?!?!#aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #fanart #art #aziracrow #angel crowley my beloved #i hope i nailed the love at first sight eyes on aziraphale bc that was what happened there right?#artists on tumblr #good omens 2 #angel crowley #myart

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applestruda · 2 years ago

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Following ancient paths

#hihii #i realize that most of my art doesnt really have much of a set background so i decided to make myself draw one #the landscape is definitely inspired by genshin and sky game (two games i really really like)#anywayss #yea #also ig its kinda a birthday gift from me to you guys #:]#boatem knights au #boatem #boatem crew #my art #i hate getting older

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skunkes · 7 months ago

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#trying to figure out how i wanna draw myself when i start my new sketchbook #+ i kinda do wanna learn lineless art bc theres a certain style of it that reminds me of gouache! and i love flat matte gouache #its so hard tho as someone who struggles with contrast. and LOVES lines.#i wish it was as easy as changing the lineart color at the very end of a lined and colored piece ykwim #but the line color i choose when im painting in gouache is different than the colors i choose when coloring already existing lineart #if that makes sense #anyway this was directly inspired by manaohu on twitter ^_^ they are one of my fave artists #a doodley #ok unlocked

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animangalover-writes · 7 days ago

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I got bored.

For those occasions when the straights can't fathom why you ship The Gays™

#i was inspired #mostly i just saw deadpool vs wolverine but it got me thinking #made because my sister didn't completely understand why we all thought the honda scene was gay #and because the few times we share a fandom she doesn't always understand why i ship something #ill use this to make her understand now #also considering making some specifically for yuri polycules asexuals and various genders lol #but for now its just the gays™#“why do you think they're gay?” bingo #shipping #crack shipping #gay ships #gay shipping #yaoi #fujoshi #i dont consider myself that last one but i feel like they'd appreciate this <3 #uhhh and other tags idk #aml speaks #bingo card #bingo #this was made at like 7am idc if it looks good or not it was just for fun #ship bingo #shipping bingo #gay ship bingo #gay ships bingo #gay shipping bingo #listen im just trying to cover all my bases here ok #and yk what only cause i mentioned it in the tags #poolverine #aml memes #forgot about that one lol

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blaintism · 9 months ago

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@gleesource 500 followers celebration day 4: tina cohen chang + her pop rock playlist

(in/sp)

#glee #tina cohen chang #gleeedit #gleesource #gs500fc #mine #i have lots of commentary on this one #first. this is the extremely self serving gifset #i wasn't sure what to caption it bc obvs theres a focus on classic 2000s emo/pop punk bc i adore it #but not every song there is that #the songs all come from a playlist emily and i made so ofc shoutout to emmy my dear #the headphone thing is also inspired by a meme she sent me months ago #i drew them myself and i find drawing in photoshop hard and annoying so if they look bad DON'T say anything #my ass is photoshop certified but all you learn in that is the editing. i much prefer dedicated drawing programs (csp beloved)#i think that's all i want to make clear #also yes im just showing up for tina day. what of it

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gen4grl · 3 months ago

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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol

i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)

#pokemon #pkmn #trainer red #rival blue #trainer leaf #i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water #bottle bong 🤩 red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza 😭#i’m always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision #50/50??? let me ask the audience 🗣️ i think i’m bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao #there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i don’t think it’ll fit in tags lol #also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety #blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops he’s doing exactly that in the second piece 🧐#wowzers … as kieran would say lol … i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing #but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blue🤷🏻‍♀️ they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so … my girl is strong sorry #ain’t standing shy timid leaf in this house …#also - despite being acespec myself i didn’t know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p #pan aswell bc i don’t think he gaf 😭 also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato 🫶🏻🤧 i was going through such bad art block and #their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics 🥹 i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue #blue pokemon #red pokemon #leaf pokemon #pokemon art #pokemon fanart #pokemon frlg #trainer green #rival green #my art <3 #kanto au

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crookedfivefingers · 9 days ago

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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀

#doctor who #tenth doctor #martha jones #david tennant #freema agyeman #(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post #where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc #which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3 #(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair #+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers #*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story #It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work #instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary #then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop #basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing #it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them #it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok #there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about #Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life #you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level #anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry #creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then

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energysynergymatrix · 6 months ago

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No way look who's shown up in Hinamizawa

#osomatsu san #denki mystery #osomatsu matsuno #karamatsu matsuno #choromatsu matsuno #ichimatsu matsuno #jyushimatsu matsuno #todomatsu matsuno #ozo akashika #karatsugu aogo #chorosuke midorito #hajime shisaka #toshio ogami #takashi momose #higurashi #osomatsu-san #ososan #my art #ok . i think this is all the tags. collapses #i like making art that appeals to me specifically #anyways i got inspired by that one denki mystery animatic that uses nageki no mori #watched it and literally said to myself “this looks like a vn opening wouldnt it be funny if i tried to draw them in the higurashi art styl #<- did not know that song was the ps2 higurashi opening until he looked it up to listen to later.#fake higurashi fan sorry #i still drew them in the style though #anyways yeah i hope u all enjoy my attempt at. drawing the higurashi art style. im actually kind of proud at how some of these came out abj #although ryukishi's art style does not translate that well into some of the hair styles. cough cough hajime cough.#this also features my height headcanons . btw . if u care.

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fisheito · 9 months ago

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i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong

my fave face here:

#technically... if they were boinking in outer space... a lot of these would be the same position #makes a rotate-y gesture with my fingers #what is yakumo's kabedon if not a vertical missionary #so i've half proven myself right AND wrong! i'm net neutral in outer space broskis!!!!!#zizz-asdf if ur reading these tags i'll have u know that u inspired me to Do the Research1 #like. 5 garu riding eiden? no. it can't be. does yaku do one specific thing with eiden 5 times? *tries to write it down*#i can't quite... what's the word for that position...uhhhh #ah forget it i'll just draw it out #<- that was the process of creating this. collage? 😆#THE MATRIX OF YAKUEI BOINKINg POSITIONS (under construction)#when u about to be semi-normal and make a spreadsheet but ur sexcabulary is stunted so you resort to visuals instead #legit opening up every intimacy room and skipping thru sections to get as complete a picture as possible #wondering... where are yaku's feet planted in this one. (skips to 8minute mark)#ah! there they are. theyre not supporting his weight in this one *draws it*#while drawing crimson phantom room 2 my brow was furrowed and i was mentally narrating #[and this one i affectionately call.. rectal exam - professional misconduct Grounds for Termination)]#surprised they str8 up havent done classicdoggstyle yet. is it because he's a snake? garu should teach him #also surprised that there's been no Light SSR for yaku yet. come on!! Light mode on the double!#uhhh i think the only repeated positions were freestanding (choco liqueur r2 and dark nova r2)#and standing AGAINST! THE! WALL! (choco liqueur r5 {interior} and shadow lineage r5 {cave})#wait. *throws papers around* i swear they did missionary more than once. was it only ocean breeze???#i know with the intimacy rooms they gotta modify the positions into certain angles to make it...look...better #but seriously? only one missionary out of the lot of them? despite the aesthetic tweaks??? how can that ........#*tosses more papers around with increasing befuddlement* WHERE IS MY PURE 100% VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM #sighs as all the papers lie scattered on the ground #dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope #now that i see how evenly spread out the positions are...#i BET the devs have SOME SORTA CHART tracking yaku's positions. now THAT'S a funky office corkboard!#yakuei #nu carnival eiden

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sparxyv · 13 days ago

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Milena's Makeover - Pt. 1 🪄💫

(i'm pretty sure i'm settling on this, but only time will tell if i stick to it 😪)

prepare for a small self indulgent yap-fest 🤞

i've been thinking of giving milena a makeover for so long - but ONLY her looks. milena's personality and backstory (while i haven't talked much about it here) are staying the same! 💜

i loved milena's other design, i just never had much fun drawing her unfortunately 🥺 so this is long overdue!

my two biggest struggles doing this have been her hairstyle and her facial structure. until i remembered.. she's my character.. and i can make her however i want her to be 🫣

i still feel like i'll be altering a few things overtime, and although i'm missing a few of her old traits, i love this sm. plus her hair colors and eye colors tie into her lore! 🥹

(there is more i haven't shown yet.. but those things are going to be revealed soon 👍)

here we gather to mourn the loss of:

milena's freckles

the scar/mark (or is it really all that gone???)

milena's 3A hair