#this image literally made me cry today

[koyot1]

in tears

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[emo-batboy]

Battinson on SNL

Idk how popular Saturday Night Live is outside of the US so there will be some links for context. That said, as a New Jersey native, I think Battinson would totally watch the show. And since he's a celebrity...👀

SO

To promote WE’s newest charity fund, Alfred signs Bruce up to be a guest host on SNL (à la this post) The announcement is made, and everyone’s like “oh this is going to be a disaster. That man can’t even hold eye contact or speak a full sentence without crying.”

But oh, that’s why it’s so funny.

Now, hear me out. Bruce’s strengths are displayed best when he’s himself. That’s why he’s so popular in Gotham. That’s why the internet calls him Relatable TM and a Disaster (Affectionate) and “Poor Little Meow Meow.” It’s his ✨ essence ✨

But he tends to get overwhelmed or self-conscious onstage, right? Because he can’t be Himself himself if he has time to overthink something. So after a few meetings with Bruce, the writers of SNL figure out the perfect way to keep Bruce from getting anxious.

They decide to load this episode with as many skits where Bruce plays different caricature-like versions of himself as possible. The objective? Make him break character and laugh so he doesn’t overthink. And if he breaks character, he’ll still technically be in character because he’s playing himself, you know? Genius.

So that’s how they go about structuring the show. During the few days they have to write, they decide to take everything about Bruce’s public image and either ramp it up to 11 or turn it on its head.

He speaks quietly? Turn it into a running gag. He dresses in all black? Make him emo. He tips well? Add that in too. He’s “depressed” and “sad?” Literally, all he does on screen is laugh and break character. What’s not to love?

Of course, Bruce also gets to decide what skits are in each episode as well. (Refer to this if you have no idea how SNL works.) He loves the idea, though, and he has a surprisingly dark sense of humor which bleeds into some of the sketches. They add in a few skits without him, and they’ve got their lineup.

It’s the wildest episode of the season. Here are the highlights:

OPENING MONOLOGUE

It’s the big night, everyone’s excited to see Bruce Wayne hosting a live sketch comedy show with no idea how it will turn out.

To begin his monologue, Bruce walks on, opens his mouth to start talking, and immediately two cast members appear as stagehands to set up six microphones in front of him. He is already struggling to keep himself together.

Bruce: “You may be wondering why I’m host- Cast Member: *adds one more tiny microphone to his chest* Bruce: “You may be wondering why I’m hosting tonight.”

It’s working. The audience loves it.

Halfway through, Kate McKinnon comes out in a dark cloak with a chalice. “Your sustenance, my lord.” *sees camera* “Oh. Sorry. Carry on.” And she shambles off. Bruce has to take a second before continuing.

Bruce knows when (most of) the jokes come. It’s literally on the cue cards, but he still falls into a fit of giggles.

There are a few more gags, including Lex Luthor peeking out from behind the band set-up, all teasing the show to come.

Overall, an amazing way to set the tone for the episode. Expectations have been set. Then the skits begin!

(Oh but before I forget: During every single live skit with Bruce, the writers have scheduled for one of the cast members to run in dressed as a stagehand and put an extra mic on him. They do not tell him when it will happen.)

SKIT #1

Between the monologue and the first skit, he has to do a really fast quick change, but to everyone’s surprise, Bruce is a natural. (Huh, wonder why.)

The skit is called Gotham PTA Meeting. We open in a meeting room full of stereotypical PTA moms setting down baked goods and gossiping. And apparently, there is a new PTA member attending today 👀

Right as the meeting starts, he enters. Bruce walks in wearing the most emo get-up imaginable. He’s got a Nirvana shirt, a comical amount of eyeliner, black skinny jeans, chain accessories, metal rings, AND a clip-in extension to give him fringe.

Someone immediately runs in and puts another mic on him.

PTA Mom: “Oh, Bruce! You made it! Did you bring a snack?” Bruce: “I brought lemon bars.” PTA Mom: “Why are they black?” Bruce: “They match my soul…they’re also vegan.”

He talks like a moody teenager. HE CONSTANTLY has to brush the fringe off to the side to read the cue cards. And because there’s so much eyeliner and he’s sweating a bit from the lights, it starts running everywhere.

PTA Mom: “Bruce, you’re a little quiet. What are your thoughts on increasing the school lunch budget?” Bruce: *eyeliner dripping down his chin* “I think it’s a great idea.”

SKIT #2

For a pre-filmed skit, they bring back the Chad character with Pete Davidson.

It’s 2 am, and Chad is working at a 24hr drug store in Gotham. He’s reading Twilight (the book is upside down) when the lights begin to flicker.

He turns around and tries the light switch, turns back around, and JUMPSCARE it’s Bruce dressed as Edward from Twilight.

Yes, he IS sparkly.

Bruce is awkwardly holding a bunch of items, all concerning. He plops down a few knives, several raw meats, Sudafed. Chad: “Oh hey.” Bruce: O_O “I’d like to check out please.” Chad: “Lit.”

Chad’s “No Fucks Given” energy and Bruce’s “Please Do Not Perceive Me” energy clash like titans. The whole skit centers around it.

Bruce: *sweating bullets* “Oh. You’re reading Twilight?” Chad: “Just the title.” Bruce: *throws the book through the window at lightning speed* “It’s not very good. You should probably read something else.” Chad: *shrugs* “Okay.”

Chad: “ID?” Bruce: “ID? For what?” Chad: “Sudafed.” Bruce: “Oh. I don’t really need that, actually.” Chad: “Already scanned it.” Bruce: “Haha. Of course.” *awkwardly produces a scroll from his pocket that says Bruce Wayne DOB: 1901* Chad: “Okay.”

Bruce checks out, Chad picks up a porno mag or something, and we see Bruce turn into a bat and fly off through the window behind him.

SKIT #3

The next skit they have is Celebrity Family Feud: Billionaires Edition. Again, Bruce plays himself, but he’s more of a background character. Instead, the skit makes fun of billionaires as a whole.

Bruce’s team consists of Kylie Jenner, Lex Luthor, and Oliver Queen. So just imagine three Lucille Bluths standing beside one another. 

Bruce’s bit? He just keeps handing cash to Steve Harvey every time he breathes in his direction.

Host: "We got the richest man in the world: Bruce Wayne!" Bruce: *hands him a roll of cash* Host: "Oh, what’s this for?" Bruce: "It’s your tip. I always tip." Host: "Oh, Mr. Wayne, you don’t usually tip the show host. I’m also a millionaire myself." Lex Luthor: *snatches it* "Well, if you’re not going to use it, I will…for charity, of course." Host: "Uh huh, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Just a ton of fun quips, the usual.

At some point, Harvey says, “That’s batty.” Bruce: *ducks* “Where?!” Host: “Oh, I don’t mean Batman. He’s not here.” Bruce: “You don’t know that.”

This time, the mic bit is a bit different.

Host: “We asked 100 billionaires: How much does a loaf of bread cost? Top three answers are on the board.” Bruce: *hits buzzer* Host: Bruce, your answer is? Cast Member: *runs in with a megaphone and holds it in front of Bruce* Bruce: “TEN DOLLARS?”

Board dings! That was the #1 answer

Brucie Wayne for the win

SKIT #4

Next is a skit that dares to ask Gotham, “Why would anyone live here?”

The skit begins with someone opening a press conference for Wayne Enterprises. “And now presenting: Bruce Wayne!” Bruce walks in…

But it’s not him. Instead, it’s one of the cast members dressed in a black suit with horribly gelled brown hair.

Everyone in the audience is wondering where the actual Bruce is before another cast member runs onstage crying, “Help! Help! I’ve just been robbed! Somebody call Batman!”

A mini version of the bat-signal lights up…

We hear some generic hero music play…

And there he is: Bruce Wayne dressed in a horribly cheap Batman costume

(They got the cowl ALL wrong btw)

Bruce puts his hands on his hips in a weird superhero pose. Bruce: “I’m Batm-” Cast Member: *runs out to attach another mic to his costume* Bruce: “….I’m Batman!”

Cue all of the gags and digs against Batman. The fake Bruce faints then starts crying under a table. Someone calls Batman a furry. Bruce is barely keeping it together the whole time. Lord help him, but he asked for it. He approved the skit.

Bruce: “Looks like a job for my bat taser!” Cast Member: “Isn’t that just a taser with a bat on it?” Bruce: *whispers* “You shut your mouth.”

He saves the day, the police take the thief into custody, then Batman myStErioUsly disappears. Bruce: “Look over there!” *runs off* Cast Member: “Oh my gooood, how did he do that?”

CLOSING SEGMENT

Finally, they have the Weekend Update where Bruce comes on as himself for the final time.

Since they got his permission, the writers switch out some of Bruce’s jokes last minute. (Think Bill Hader’s Stefon which notoriously caused him to break character because the writers would mess with his cue cards.)

News Anchor: “Here to promote his newest humanitarian project: Bruce Wayne!” “Mr. Wayne, what a pleasure to see you today.” Bruce: “Thank you. This is probably the longest I’ve been out of the house.” News Anchor: “Since the Riddler catastrophe?” Bruce: “Since ever.”

News Anchor: “So Mr. Wayne! Before you make your announcement, any life updates?” Bruce: “Yes, actually. Just a few days ago, I adopted five- *starts losing it* five more children.” News Anchor: “Wow, really? So you have eight kids now.” Bruce: “Uh huh. *tears streaming down his face* One more orphan and I get the tenth one free.”

News Anchor: “So where can people find you online?” Bruce: “Well, I don’t have social media because I’m afraid of people, but sometimes I’m on Twitter.” News Anchor: “What about a phone call?” Bruce: “Oh no, phone calls- *giggle* phone calls give me fainting spells.”

It’s a great way of finishing the show, with the most genuine version of Bruce. Then, he gets to what’s really important!

News Anchor: “So if they can’t reach you on social media or on the phone, what else can our viewers do, Mr. Wayne?” Bruce: “They can donate to the Wayne Foundation’s newest charity called The Arts Initiative. It funds programs for the arts in underdeveloped school districts nationwide. I’ve already donated $30 million, and I’ve pledged to match every dollar donated within the next week.”

And that’s what he’s here for :) They share a link for where and how to donate. The anchors praise him for his charity, which he deflects because he can definitely afford this, and the 90-minute broadcast is over.

The camera pans away with the whole cast waving goodbye, and Bruce is seen keeling over with laughter.

Along with some of the other skits, these four specifically go viral. WE raises a fuck ton of money, and everyone loves Bruce.

THE END

LOVE YOU ALL!! Let me know what you think :D

[sinnabum45]

Link to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸

[Plain text: Links to help Palestine and other resources! (palestine flag). End plain text.]

[Image description: gray toned digital comic of Ace Attorney characters Franziska von Karma and Miles Edgeworth.

Page one: Franziska has her right arm in a sling due to being shot. She is quickly walking with an angry expression. She has a memory of when Miles and her were kids. She is giving Miles her cat doll and Miles is flustered, embarrassed. Manfred is smiling fondly behind them. Then she remembers studying intensely and being frustrated when she didn’t meet her own standards. Text throughout the page: “Nothing I did ever mattered. Nothing ever mattered…! Nothing… Nothing!!” Miles calls out the Franziska and Franziska’s face contorts with anger. Miles: “Where are you going… Franziska?”

Page two: Franziska turns toward Miles and says, “How did you know I was here…?” Miles looks worried. They start talking to each other, but there are no text. Franziska is thinking, “You…! How dare you show your face to me?!”

Page three: Memories of Franziska being left behind are shown. First, Miles is nine years old and covering his eyes, crying. He’s walking ahead of Franziska while she tries to catch up to him. She reaches her left arm to him. Second, Miles is twenty years old and Manfred is walking next to him with a hand on Miles’ shoulder. Miles is frowning and Manfred is smiling. Franziska is thirteen and she is left behind in disbelief. There is a big split in the middle of the page, separating Franziska from them. Text in the split represents Franziska’s thoughts: “All you’ve ever done was leave me behind… Don’t act like you care now! I’ve always hated you!”

Page four: Franziska is back to being depicted as the present Franziska. Now she is standing in the middle of darkness alone. Franziska: “I can’t change who I am. I can’t throw away everything I’ve been until today.” Miles responds, shocking Franziska, “I believe you can. Today, you chased after me, after I’ve left you behind all these years.” Franziska looks up at him with wide eyes, but still skeptical.

Page five: The page is in color. Miles and Franziska are facing each other. Miles: “And that’s why we’re standing here now, side by side.” Franziska: “…!”

Page six: The page is gray toned. Miles looks at Franziska with a determined look. Miles: “But I have no intention of stopping. If you say you are going to quit your walk down the prosecutor’s path… Then this is where we part ways, Franziska von Karma.” Franziska is listening, dumbfounded.

Page seven: Franziska looks down, clenching her jaw. Franziska is facing away from viewers and Miles is facing her. Franziska: “I… I…”

Page eight: Page is in color. Franziska is facing the viewer and she is crying. Franziska: “I am Franziska Von Karma. Don’t think I’m going to walk in your shadow forever…”

Page nine: Page is in color. Franziska loses her eyes, still crying and facing Miles. Franziska: “Our battle… Begins now… So you had better prepare yourself, Miles Edgeworth!” They are both facing away from the viewers, walking together toward the future. Franziska is wiping her eyes with her left arm.

Page ten: Page is gray toned. A memory of Franziska when she is two years old and Miles is nine. Miles is crying and walking ahead of Franziska. She is reaching out to him, but she is left behind. She starts crying by herself. A hand is extended towards her and she looks at it, surprised. Franziska becomes happy that Miles came back for her and she holds his hands, smiling. Text: “Thank you for being here…” End description.]

The scene that made me cry 🥲 I have so many thoughts about it— 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

HC (TW// suicidal ideation): I love that they added this scene to show how Franziska was also going through it, too. She was also hurt by what Manfred did and the pressure of the “von Karma name”. She’s literally a teenager going through all of this bs. I also loved that Miles related her to Adrian because YES. The similarities between Adrian, Franziska, and also Miles throughout the case- they were all dependent on their mentor and tried to act “strong” to cope with their self perceived weaknesses/failures. I personally think Miles was also suicidal and that Franziska was going down that same path. Her throwing away her whip is a hint at that HC. Her whip represents her strength and being a prosecutor- AKA her life, since that’s all her and Miles lived for at this point. Unlike Miles tho, Franziska had someone there to stop her and help her before she went down that path. I also like to think that because they were so caught up in their pain, they felt alone when they had each other the whole time. I don’t blame them cuz Manfred made it so they were only “worthy” if they were “geniuses” like he is. They put being the best prosecutor over EVERYTHING else. That’s going to mess anyone up, especially children who just wanted their dad to love them. AHHH I LOVE THEM 😭😭😭

I took out so much dialogue cuz it was already getting too long. I think the Adrian line could make for it’s own comic 🥺 (I love that they directly relate them so much SKLKJGK😭)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 424: Detroit Tears

Previously on BnHA: You know what, fandom is way too heated about this still so we’re just going to leave that be that for now and not get involved. I have some conflicted feelings about it, but this is not the place or time. This is a happy post.

Today on BnHA: Oh right, Horikoshi still owns the rights to my soul. And I’ve just been reminded of why I willingly signed them over to him so freely.

Quick heads up that this isn’t going to be my usual style of chapter reaction post, in that it’s really just going to be a ton of rambling about That One Scene. Partly because I’m only halfway caught up with stuff, but mostly because tbh, this is the only thing that matters to me right at this moment.

Also this is your friendly neighborhood spoiler warning that I’m posting about a chapter which hasn’t officially been released yet! So proceed at your own discretion. This reaction is based on @pikahlua’s excellent spoiler translation writeup here. I’ve officially lost all of my fucks about spoilers and it’s extremely liberating.

I’m glad that Kacchan’s arm isn’t just magically better and that he’s never going to be 100% again. and also that the doctor mentions him needing to rest his heart as well. because I did feel like there needed to be at least a few lasting consequences from him LITERALLY DYING AND UNDERGOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. but I’m also glad they established that it wasn’t career-ending or anything. he’ll probably have some chronic pain and occasionally aggravate his old injuries while fighting, all of which is great for angst purposes. but it was good to see him being calmly accepting of that while also being determined to put the work in to rehab it as much as possible.

also enjoyed the doctor summing up Kacchan’s highly improbable main character resurrection and subsequent antics as basically being some wild bullshit that nobody can explain. lampshaded the shit out of it. “I don’t really understand” lol. nobody understands. in truth it’s that his secondary quirk is bending reality to his will in order to kick ass.

moving on to the main event now! so Kacchan and Izuku’s reunion was obviously the highlight of this chapter and of my life, probably. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it wasn’t. y’all know how it is.

what really made this scene for me was Kacchan being more upset at Izuku’s loss than Izuku himself. all those callbacks and all that guilt. that careful selection of flashback panels. the fact that Kacchan’s past bullying of the quirkless Izuku wasn’t glossed over or forgotten, and in fact is the emotional core that fuels Kacchan’s reaction here. Horikoshi didn't have to cut that deep, but he knows what he's about.

and then the crying. I need to write a lot of words about this right the fuck now. first off, having Kacchan just flat out sob while Izuku for once is the calm one (at least until All Might goes in for the emotional kill later on), is such a beautiful reversal and really shows how far they’ve come. even better is that none of it was even remotely out of character. I’m always appreciative when an author can produce top tier emotional hurt/comfort like this and have it feel earned and authentic rather than forced. well done.

also, “Na--cchan!!” fuck yeah Izuku. we’ll never let him live this down. (but also, him later trying to reconcile his forever-tough image of Kacchan with the crying, hiccupping version standing in front of him, by blaming it on Kacchan’s weakened physical state... oh, Izuku.)

also the fact that Kacchan so easily reverts to this smol crying boy even after defeating the world’s greatest evil pretty much activated every protective instinct that I have. he’s seventeen. he’s practically a man now. he’s objectively one of the strongest and toughest people in the entire world. and yet his eyes still go so wide and his face is still so young and Horikoshi still draws him so tiny and vulnerable whenever he’s like this. goddamn gets me EVERY single time. let’s be real, it’s been this way ever since the “you looked like you needed saving” scene back in the literal first chapter. just, omg. he’s still just a kid and he’s too small to contain all these feelings SOMEONE HELP HIM.

anyway so NEEDLESS TO SAY, Kacchan full on mourning in between sobs because he wanted to keep being rivals with Izuku cut me to my core. I cried too, goddammit. because in Katsuki’s mind it’s like. he wasted a dozen years of potential friendship by being a giant asshole. and they were only able to start getting things back on track less than a year ago. and that was probably the best year of both of their lives. and that rivalry meant so much to both of them. pursuing their dreams together as equals. and he wanted it to continue!! he missed out on so much, and it was his own damn fault, and now it’s all being taken away again maybe!!

and I think it’s especially devastating to Katsuki because he was trying so hard to make up for how he treated Izuku, and then this comes along and now he’s worried it was all for nothing. he’s scared that Izuku will maybe have to quit being a hero. (we know that won’t happen, obviously, but Katsuki is living this and not just reading it. he’s never met narrator!Deku and doesn’t have the benefit of all that foreshadowing and stuff.) but even more than that, I think he’s scared that it will undo all of their progress toward mending their relationship. not because Katsuki thinks any less of Izuku now, quirk or no quirk; but because of how Izuku might feel about being quirkless again, and because of the memories it might bring flooding back to the surface. I don’t think Katsuki fully believes that Izuku has forgiven him. so that’s a major fear potentially rearing its ugly head once more now.

and of course, he’s also just sad and upset on Izuku’s behalf, because he knows Izuku is sad about it too, even if he’ll never show it and will just downplay it because of his selfless nature. it’s a major loss, and one deserving of tears being shed, even if Izuku won’t shed any of his.

so yeah. it’s a lot. in Katsuki’s mind it’s the potential loss of a partner (if Izuku quits heroics), and a friend (if Izuku does cool toward Katsuki as a result of being quirkless again), and a dream (of them reaching the highest heights together), and his friend’s dream. so it makes perfect sense that all of that would overwhelm him. all of this is stuff that’s broken him down on past occasions as well.

so anyway it’s going be very cathartic when all those fears prove to be unfounded (because they better be unfounded lol). but in the meantime it’s a very moving reminder of how much he really does care and how far the both of them have come.

also Horikoshi really couldn’t resist giving Nobu one last chance to destroy everyone when this scene rolls up in the anime. that’s so reckless of him. there will be no survivors.

All Might telling both of them they’d become the greatest heroes was also the perfect chef’s kiss moment on top of everything else. we already knew it, of course. but it was good to hear him say it. and they needed him to say it. they needed and deserved to hear it.

and I really love that the qualities he specifically praised them for were the same things that each of them had struggled with the most in their respective journeys. he tells Izuku, who had such a difficult time learning how to tell the world “I am here!!”, that he inspires everyone and has become everyone’s hero. and he reminds Katsuki, who struggled with learning how to save people, and has especially struggled with his guilt over what happened to All Might at Kamino, that he saved All Might’s life and is the reason he’s able to still be there with them. both of them just really needed to hear that acknowledgement and encouragement, and it was such a powerful passing of the torch moment. All Might gets so much shit from the fandom, but he really is a phenomenal mentor when he’s in the zone, and I’ll die on that hill.

also a nice touch keeping the focus of those panels on the two boys and their reactions. even though I would have liked to see All Might’s face when he thanked them at the end, it definitely felt deliberate. this is their moment. their soft little tearful smiles afterwards punted my heart off a cliff and then picked it up and held it gently.

lastly, let it be known that I’m still convinced Katsuki has OFA (All Might vestige explanation when??), and it’s not lost on me that that would be a mighty convenient way for Izuku to potentially still go on a-quirkin’ in the end, if that’s how Horikoshi wants to play it. I'm just saying.

also before I forget, just a quick shoutout to Horikoshi for FINALLY showing all three members of the Bakufam in a scene together in which they finally managed to not be completely dysfunctional lol. my deepest darkest BnHA secret is that Mitsuki is secretly super high up on my list of favorite characters. and she was great in this chapter, and I love how she was just “WHAT THE FUCK” aghast at Katsuki using his main character powers to continuously ignore his injuries. and then she and Masaru kind of silently agreeing to step outside the room and let the boys and All Might have their moment. while still secretly listening in. because you know they were. good for them.

lastly for reals, I just want you all to remember that as great as this chapter was, the one thing that it was STILL missing which we have STILL not gotten is a HUG. we demand HUGS. I’m not leaving this manga till I get a bkdk hug goddammit. I will stay here all night if I have to.

[reallyromealone]

Hear me out. Bonten Mikey x omega male reader

A few years after mikey and m/n broke up, mikey discovered that m/n has a 6 year old daughter who looks like a copy of mikey, and mike like connects rhe timeline and realizes m/n was pregnant at the time of their break up but m/n never told him bc he didnt want his kid to be involved in the mafia/gang shit

-🐰 (late birthday gift for me 🥹?)

It's A VERY LATE FIC I'M SO SORRY

🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐

(Name) smiled as he put his little pups hair in pigtails, her bangs/fringe pinned back with a cute bubble hair band, today they were visiting Draken and Inui and little (daughters name) wanted to dress her best for her favorite uncles--- don't tell the others.

(Daughters name) was (name)s world, the sweetest little pup in the world who was absolutely precious.

Though sometimes it hurt to look at her, she was literally a spitting image of her father-- (name) never realized how feminine Mikey looked till his pup came into the world, but he loved her so much. She was the kindest and most selfless little thing ever. It wasn't the easiest at times but with the support of his friends he managed. Just starting first grade, (name) was thankful to work at the bike shop and being able to collect his little sunshine.

"Don't forget the cookies papa!" (Daughters name) said excitedly as left for their visit, without a care in the world.

Many would ask "where's the sire" upon learning (name) was a single parent, the question annoying and invasive but (name) always lied and made up an excuse about the father being overseas and such.

He refused to let anyone know about the actual reason, that being (daughters name)a father was the most dangerous man in Tokyo, (name) was thankful as much as he was hurt that Mikey dumped him.

He refused to let anyone go through what he did with Kanto Manji Gang.

With what Mikey was quickly becoming.

It was sheer /fucking/ chance that Mikey was waiting for the light to change in his limo as (name) stood at the cross walk holding hands with--

Holy s h i t.

"...boss are you seeing what we're seeing" Kakucho and Sanzu stared in Shellshock as they looked at a tiny Mikey with pigtails and a little dress, all of them doing the mental math and coming to a quick realization that holy fuck (name) was pregnant.

He was pregnant that day, oh my god that's what he wanted to talk to Mikey about!

"What are your thoughts on kids?" (Name) asked awkardly as they ate dinner, Mikey surpisingly home for once to do so "annoying, would get in the way" the blond said simply "a liability"

(Name) forced himself not to place his hand on his stomach, anxiety riddling his body "I see..."

"Why?"

"Just curious"

Mikey was always so disinterested in (name) these days, (name) always suspected that he was cheating, never saying anything though.

(Name) wanted to just scream.

Mikey remembered that night.

It was the night Mikey dumped him, a rash decision on his end and during one of his dark impulse moments.

He immediately regretted it after, the pained look on (name)s face and they hadn't seen each other since.

(Name) had many expectations of life, but seeing his ex sitting on his couch after he put his pup to bed, noticing the other Bonten men guarding the apartment "the fuck are you doing here" Mikey expected (name)a hostility and glanced up "that's my kid"

"What do you want Mikey" (name) wasn't having any conversation, he wanted to know what the hell he was doing here "I want to meet my kid"

"And get involved in your bullshit? Absolutely not! "Babies are a liability" remember that Mikey?" He hissed out and Mikey sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be easy "I deserve to meet her"

"You lost that chance when you broke up with me, I'm not letting my daughter deal with your shit, Mikey you're /dangerous/! She's six and I don't want her to ever go through what I went through!"

"I can keep you both safe!"

"YOU COULDN'T EVEN KEEP ME SAFE!" (name) was crying at this point, so angry at his once beloveds audacity"I kept her away for a reason Mikey, you are dangerous! She gets to play with her friends and have sleep overs! Has sleep overs at the friends you left behind! She gets to have a childhood that isn't currupted!"

"Why can't you let her have that?" (Name)s voice was broken and his body shaking, he would sacrifice everything for his daughter and at this moment he would stand his ground.

Bonten would poison her.

"Can...can I just please /know/ my daughter"

(Name) was tired, he was tired of it all "if you can /promise/ me that nothing will happen to her, I will let you meet her but one slip up Sano and I will never let you see her again"

[sunfyresrider]

Do you love me?

Synopsis: After a fight with his mother, she tells him you don't love him. So, Aegon does what he does best and invades your existence entirely.

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Wife (you) Warnings: SMUT LEGIT JUST SMUT, oral, penetration, kissing, aegon being pathetic. Word count: 1855 Note: As I said, smut to celebrate 200 followers!!! Forgive me if this is not my best work. I wrote it during the 2 hours I have before my job. (Literally posting this as I'm in the car on my way there) Sill I hope you enjoy the depravity my brain created.

You, peacefully, were writing letters to your family you had left at home to come to King’s Landing. It smelled like shit, the red keep was suffocating, and your husband… Well, he was alright at times. 

Today wasn’t one of the days he was alright. You were preparing to give the maester your carefully written messages when the door burst open and a very disheveled Aegon ran in. It took only a moment to notice the streaks of tears that stained his cherub-like cheeks. A strawberry red bruise painted the right side of his face… 

“It happened again?” you spoke softly, a slight shiver sent down your spine when he looked at you. Aegon wore the face of a desperate, pathetic and piteous boy who lacked affection from his own kin. It nearly made your heart wrench, but you’d grown accustomed to his displays. 

He would do something wrong, sometimes almost unforgivable and his mother would act in the only way she knew how. It was a never-ending cycle, he behaved inappropriately, Alicent found out and hit him, and he came running to you to ease his suffering. 

He rushed forward, grasping you by your shoulders and squeezing them tightly. His large blue eyes pleading with yours for some comfort, a silent request to ease his suffering. “Do you love me?” Aegon’s voice was shaky and hoarse from crying or yelling, only the gods knew at this point. 

When you didn’t answer fast enough, he shook you, the frown on his face deepening. “W-wife, do you love me?” You let out a deep sigh knowing what came next. You cupped his face gently and wiped the tears away with the tips of your fingers. “Of course… I love you with all my heart.” 

His mouth twisted into a crooked smile. Aegon’s black pupils dilated and filled the vast ocean of blue around them. His hand moved to softly caress your face, pushing the loose hairs out of his way. He dragged his thumb to your bottom lip gently tugging at it. Aegon leaned in so his breath warmed your skin and his lips hovered above yours. His eyes were half lidded and lips swollen from biting them, “prove it.” 

He whispered into you, and you let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You slowly shrunk down onto your knees, taking your time to unfasten the buttons that lined his trousers. You should be used to it by now, the image of his cock springing out his pants that is. Yet somehow the size never ceased to surprise you. 

To be blunt you didn’t enjoy being on your knees or giving him head. In fact, you dreaded it. However, he never failed to reward you in earnest. His constant need to prove himself worthy of something gave you something to look forward to. So, you did not hesitate to wrap your mouth around him and swirl your tongue around his tip. Your small hands that barely fit around him rubbed his length. 

Aegon moaned as your soft warm tongue glided over his shaft. He always was the noisiest man you had ever met. The sound of his pleasurable cries escaping his throat made your body fill with confidence. With each moan, his hips bucked against your face. He grabbed fistfuls of your hair pulling you closer until your nose pressed firmly against the base of his member.

You gagged at the sensation of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Delicate tears began to fall from your irises, but you managed to hold on long enough to take his full length between your lips and bob back and forth. 

“Look at me. You’re so pretty sucking my cock, wife.” The sight of you on your knees, covered in spit and drool, while you sucked his cock turned him into an animal. “Ah- I love you.” He stuttered out between whimpers.

His words always made you melt into him, they fueled a wildfire of desire inside you that only he could tame. The taste of him flooded your senses and you swallowed every drop of his precum without hesitation. You felt his cock begin to throb and his balls tighten. The amount of seed leaking into your throat steadily increasing. 

Not yet, Aegon pulled you off quickly, your mouth let go of him with a pop.  He dropped to his own knees pushing his lips into yours with a bruising force, never letting go of your hair or speaking a word. His tongue slipped into your mouth and made circles with your own. His hands moved to grope every part of your body leaving marks where they gripped. 

A soft moan left your lips when he moved to unlace the dress you were wearing. He was skilled at that making quick work of taking off your clothes while his mouth never left yours. His strong hands pushed aside your panties exposing your wetness. The cold air sending goosebumps up your body. 

Aegon pulled your legs out from underneath you seating them over his shoulders. You hadn’t realized the ache between your legs until his lips were making its way towards it. Aegon trailed wet kissed his way up your thigh and bit down hard on your inner thigh causing you to yelp.

His lips curled into a devilish smile. “Aegon please,” you whimpered underneath him. Of course, he would never say no but the sound of you begging made his cock flutter. He smirked before kissing his way back to your entrance. When his tongue slid across your clit you cried out. He teased you relentlessly, alternating licking and sucking your sensitive bud.

Your hips rose off the ground as you tried to get more friction on your needy pussy. He pulled back to place kisses and marks everywhere you didn’t need him. His hands roamed freely touching every inch of your body. Every touch sent electric shocks through you. Each kiss set your nerves ablaze. 

After a few minutes of this torture, you began pleading with him to finish what he started. “Please husband, please.” Aegon’s face moved to hover over your cunt. His nose softly brushing over your sensitive clit, “Say you love me.” 

Aegon dipped a finger into your cunt, purposely pushing on that spongy spot inside you. His lips swallowed your clit, and his tongue roughly ran circles around it.  “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love AH-” 

The feeling of his index rubbing your G-spot caused your walls to contract around his digits. Your back arched off the floor as the pleasure washed over you. A scream escaped your lips, you came undone flooding his hand with your juices. His grip tightened as he buried his face further into you. 

You tried to squirm away, the stimulation becoming too much for you to bear. You couldn't stop shaking as your orgasm overtook you. All you wanted right now was to feel his thick cock inside you. "Husband," you sobbed uncontrollably.

Aegon pulled back, proudly gazing at the mess he created. He pulled his fingers to his lips sucking on the juices you left, “you always taste so sweet for me.” He leant down and pressed his lips to yours in a gentle yet desperate kiss. The taste of yourself on his tongue flooding your mouth… He wasn’t necessarily wrong you did taste sweet. 

"Aegon,” you mewled under your breath. “Wife,” he hushed you with a deep breath as he moved to turn you onto your side. Aegon didn’t treat you how you expected. He never fucked you like a whore, he preferred to cuddle while he rammed his cock inside you. He liked being able to watch you whilst he played with your breast and the feeling of the heat from your back warming his chest. 

He placed one arm behind you pulling you tight against his bare chest. He positioned himself behind you looking down into your eyes, he gently lowered his head and claimed your lips with his own. Your tongues tangled together, his cock resting just below your slit. He rubbed himself against you, collecting all the wetness onto his cock before he prodded at your entrance.

"Fuck!" You gasped as he pushed himself into you. The thickness of his cock filled you completely, stretching out your cunt no matter how many times it had been there. His thumb moved to your clit and he began rubbing it gently, sending waves of tingles throughout your entire body.

Aegon moved his free hand to cup your breast as his pace increased slowly building up speed. You could hear his grunts filling the room, the sensation of you clenching around him overwhelming him. His thrusts became harder, his grunts turning into soft moans invading your ears. You choked out praises, “you feel so good h-husband.” 

He moved his hand to rub your clit faster.  An intense pressure building within you with every movement. His breathing grew heavy as his cock continuously hit your cervix, your cunt trying to squeeze out his seed. “Aeg- please I need you,” you whimpered desperately. Aegon dropped his head into the crook of your neck and sucked on your bare skin.

"Mmhmm." He groaned into your ear, his hips moving quicker, your hips bucking to meet his. Your cries turned into screams as he pounded into you, “fuck fuck fuck,” you panted beneath him. His fingers swirled around your clit, the coil in your stomach threatening to break any moment. “P-please cum in me,” you whined pathetically. 

His pace quickened, the muscles in his arms bulging with each pump. The sounds of him railing into your wetness echoed throughout the room. Aegon began singing barely audible praises into your ear. As he neared his climax he growled, his voice rising above the noise of your bodies colliding.

You clenched around his length, the overwhelming feeling of ecstasy taking over. Your body began to shake as your second climax washed over you more intense than before. “Gods,” he cried out. You felt his cock pulsating inside you, his hot seed spilling forth and coating your womb. He shoved his lips into yours, muffling the cry that escaped your lips as you reached your finish. 

His movements slowed, the sting of him stretching you out beginning to take over the pleasure. You winced as he pulled himself out from deep within you. You laid limp beside him panting heavily, his hands roaming freely over your naked form. You looked up into his eyes that still held the sadness of a beggar boy. “Do you love me?” 

You moved forward with the rest of your strength, cupping his cheeks gently. You peppered kisses on his face forcing a smile to escape his lips. “Stop it,” he nudged your head back with his own. Behind the obvious sadness it was clear to see he was holding back amusement. Your expression changed, the mood growing serious by the second. You leaned back staring deeply into his sea-like eyes with nothing but adoration. “Yes, I love you very much.”

[winterchimez]

Teach Me How To Love (pt.2) | Kim Sunwoo

SUMMARY: right after you had elicited help from your best friend, who also turns out to the the fuckboy on campus, suddenly you weren't too sure if all the efforts you had put in to please the heartthrob were actually worth it anymore. that was when you realised there was much more to Sunwoo than you thought he was.

PAIRING: fuckboy!Sunwoo x g.n!reader (feat. crush!Hyunjae)

GENRE: fluff, angst, suggestive, slight horror

WARNINGS: nc-17, kissing, making out, implied sex (no smut though yall dw), reader wears a dress, petnames (sweetheart, princess, honey), Hyunjae isn't what reader thought he was oops (slightly possessive), reader is in denial of their own feelings, crying, cursing, flustered Sunwoo (and he's the gem of comedy in the fic), Sunwoo is the biggest flirt ever 😃

WORD COUNT: 4,438

A/N: happiest birthday to my one and only soulmate @from-izzy 🤞 thank you for literally being through all the chaos and madness in my daily life, from being on call with one another for an average of 6-7 hours each time we do it, from validating my thoughts 99% of the time (bcs sometimes you don't), and literally being the missing piece to my other half. fate brought us tgt and you'll forever be stuck with me for life so be prepared for that 😚💜 and big shoutout to @mosviqu @sanaxo-o for beta reading this fic for me!! (also hi... @kimsohn)

this is pt2 to the original fic here so please do read it first as this will contain major spoilers!! (yes the long awaited sequel is finally here im sorry for making yall wait for more than a year 🧍‍♀️)

Sunwoo’s POV

It was already noon, and the sun began shining directly onto the male’s face, causing him to get all frustrated as he sat up from his bed. 

Sunwoo was still in denial about what happened last night. You came over to elicit his help on how to flirt and make out and basically asked for advice on how to please your date for today—the campus heartthrob Lee Hyunjae. 

He knew from the back of his mind that it was definitely a bad idea from the start. He shouldn’t have agreed to do exactly what you both did last night—the way both of your bodies felt so warm and close to one another, the way your hands wrapped around him as he carried you to his bed, and the way your lips felt against his. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about them—like a broken record player replaying the entire scenario. After he had convinced you that you were good enough to please Hyunjae and left, he slumped onto the couch, refusing to believe what he had just done. 

All this time, he knew that you both were just friends—childhood best friends, to be exact. Neither of you had shown much more affection beyond that, and it was all cool between you two.

That was until last night.

His heartbeat was going 80 miles per hour, and he was literally going insane. To get back to his senses, he decided to call one of the girls he often slept with and invited her over so that he could forget about what had just happened and take things off his mind for a while. 

He was confident that all would be fine—he just returned to his usual routine of making out with different girls, and there’s that. Whatever happened between you two was just a dream, an awkward moment between you two, and it would not affect the relationship you both have built over the years. 

It turns out he was wrong, and during the entire night of making out with the girl, the only image that popped up in his mind was you. He imagined as if he was kissing you again, making you feel good as he explored your body, touching you in areas that made you feel so good—earning a series of soft moans coming out from your mouth. 

But he knew it was all just a hallucination, as he now turned to his side to find the girl he invited over last night sleeping very soundly as she lay towards her side, facing away from him. 

Sunwoo moved his head backwards so that it slightly bumped against the headboard of his bed. He lifted his phone to check the time and see if he had gotten any notifications for the day.

More specifically, if there were any notifications from you, that is.

When he saw that there was none, and it was already going to be 12:30 in the afternoon, he quickly went through his list of contacts and dialled someone familiar with your schedules for the day as he ran his fingers through his hair frustratingly. 

“Yuna, give me the details of Y/N’s schedule for the day from A to Z.” He commanded. 

Y/N’s POV

You were already drinking your third bottle of water as you waited for your date to arrive. 

To be fair, you agreed to meet at the square at 12:30 p.m., but your anxiety caused you to arrive 30 minutes earlier than planned. 

You elicited help from Yuna to dress you up and make you all pretty for today's date. You decided to put on the yellow flare dress that your cousin got you for the summer holidays while Yuna helped curl your hair and do your makeup for you. It has been a while since you put on a dress for yourself, but you thought it was legitimately the best outfit you own that could keep up with the campus heartthrob himself. 

You had a hard time falling asleep the night before. You kept thinking about how you would please Hyunjae—wear clothes that he would like, keep up with his favourite films and food, and, of course, how you would kiss him if that ever happened.

Wait. Kiss?

Right. You elicited your best friend’s help the night before at his apartment.

You weren’t too sure what had gotten in your mind last night, but you thought that having a so-called 101 lessons on how to please a guy by passionately making out with Sunwoo would do the trick. 

Your cheeks instantly heat up at the thought of it—you loved the way he touched you and how he was actually so gentle with it, contrary to his fuckboy behaviour that you have known from the surface. 

His words were as sweet as nectar—luring you in as if he knew exactly what to say to please you. It took you a little while to adjust to that since you mostly just bicker with the male. However, you weren’t too upset with that sudden change of attitude, and you liked this side of him.

But that wasn’t the part that intrigued you the most—it was that kiss. His goddamn plump lips just seemingly knew how to move in sync with yours, savouring all of the flavoured lip balm that you had just applied earlier that day since you struggled with dry, cracked lips.

All of a sudden, you realised that you didn’t need it anymore, for your lips were moist by the time you got home—you didn’t even need to apply another layer before going to sleep. 

You were brought back to reality when your phone started going off at your nightstand, and you picked it up to read the caller’s ID out loud. 

That’s when you panicked and quickly shook your head. Your date has arrived, and he was waiting in the lobby to pick you up. 

That’s right. I’m going on a date with Hyunjae. Sunwoo has nothing to do with this. 

As you quickly scrambled through your belongings to check if you had gotten everything, you dashed out of the door and slammed it shut before running down to meet your date, who was already looking as flawless as ever as he sat on the couch in the lobby.

The moment both of your eyes met, you could’ve sworn that you were about to combust internally as he put on the sweetest smile that could instantly make up someone’s day. 

“Morning, princess. You look absolutely stunning,” he commented as he scanned you up and down, admiring the look you had given him for the day. “I can’t believe that this is all for me.” 

God, the rumours that his words could potentially send you off to space within seconds were true. “N-No! I just did the bare minimum…I was worried you weren’t going to like it…” you mumbled.

He chuckled as he leaned forward to tuck some of your hair behind your ears. “Are you crazy? You’re the most beautiful ethereal sweetheart I’ve ever set my eyes upon.” 

Oh my god. Stop this Hyunjae, stop it right now. 

Clearing your throat, desperately wanting to move on from this conversation, you pointed towards the exit and gestured that it was time for you both to move on with your date. 

“L-Let’s go! The food bazaar isn’t going to wait for us forever!” 

“You’re right,” he smiled before taking your hands and intertwining his fingers with yours. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us.” 

“Oh my god! You’re a godsend when it comes to food!” You mumbled as you chewed on your favourite strawberry tanghulu in one hand and switched your taste buds to take a bite of the cheesiest corndog Hyunjae had bought for you from the bazaar. 

“I’m not called the food guru for no reason, honey. I know my food very well,” he winks as he takes in a bite of this humungous Taiwanese-styled fried chicken that he just got off fresh from one of the stalls nearby. 

Hyunjae couldn’t help admiring how you looked as he kept glancing towards your direction—your glistening pink cheeks partly from the blush but also how happy you were from this little date. 

If he had to be honest, he himself was nervous trying to send that text of asking you out the day before. Sure, he was aware of how you had had your eyes on him for a while, but so did the rest of the class.

However, he knew that there was something different about you, and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was—but he knew that he just had to ask you out, and it didn’t matter if it would turn out to be great or a disaster.

Something about you has caught his eye since you first walked into class. You were different from the other girls who seemed to like him because of his good looks. You had always stood firm, telling everyone how you knew that Hyunjae was the sweetest human being you have ever laid your eyes upon—both from the outside and on the inside.

He appreciated and loved walking through the corridors on campus where he would find you talking to your friends about him—it was the smile you had on your face whenever he was mentioned. 

So he did his fair share of research on you, too (not with malicious intent but to get to know you better), and found out that you had a really close childhood friend, Kim Sunwoo. 

Sure enough, he would often see you hanging out with him loads back in junior year—you both were pretty much inseparable at all times, sticking close to one another throughout the entire day.

But the entire campus knew how he eventually ventured out to become the fuckboy on campus, and he would often hang out with different girls and sleep with them, causing you to spend less time with him.

If Hyunjae had to be completely honest, he wasn’t too happy about that. But who was he to judge about your relationships with one another? 

That is only he knew what happened between you two the night before in Sunwoo’s apartment. 

The thought of Sunwoo potentially hurting you in one way or another has been bugging him for an entire year now, and he just needed to know the answers. So he tried his best to come up with different topics to talk to you about—from the pets you both owned to your favourite TV shows until he felt it was safe and comfortable to talk about your childhood friend.

“Say, Y/N. I hope you don’t mind, and I don’t mean to pry…but what is your relationship with Kim Sunwoo?” 

You were taken aback by the sudden question about Sunwoo, and your already pink cheeks from the makeup and heat were getting much brighter and more apparent, causing you to clear your throat quickly before answering your date.

“H-He’s just a childhood friend; we go all the way back. Why do you ask?” 

“I can’t help but think he is somewhat hurting you somehow. I really hope he isn’t, though,” his voice deepened, making it evident that he wasn’t joking around. 

“Sunwoo? Hurting me? What makes you say that?” You asked while bitting off the last strawberry from the kebab stick you held. 

“Y/N, how do I put this…” he was now fidgeting his fingers on his free hand while looking at the ground. “I don’t know. You both don’t seem as close as you were back then. If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated in this situation.” 

That immediately stopped you in your tracks. You just stared at your date briefly, your feet glued to the ground. 

You remembered what the girls talked about the campus heartthrob himself: he reads people like an open book. 

Nothing could’ve explained the sweat dripping from your head; your fingers clutching the kebab sticks for dear life as if you were being interrogated for doing something wrong. 

Why did you feel that way? You couldn’t even answer that yourself. 

“H-He’s- I mean- We’re fine! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You laughed, trying your best to hide the stammer and fear in your voice, but you knew that your date wasn’t buying it in one serious bit. 

Knowing that the situation wasn’t getting any better, Hyunjae decided to take you away from the crowd by gripping your hand, and eventually, you both ended up on a bench at a nearby park, just sitting down to talk about everything.

“Y/N. I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me,” he bluntly replied. 

“T-Tell you what?”

“About Sunwoo.”

Frankly, you have no idea why on earth Hyunjae was obsessed about knowing what exactly happened between you two. You were currently on a date with the campus heartthrob, and Sunwoo is just a childhood friend, so you both somehow drifted apart for some time. You didn’t see what the connection here was all about. 

“Hyunjae…we’re just friends. That’s all.” 

“Y/N.” His grip on your hands tightened. “As much as I want to be happy that I’m out with you on a date right now, I can’t seem to help but notice how you aren’t exactly here with me, if that makes sense. Something is bothering you, and I am upset to know that.” 

“W-Well- Why are you upset, Hyunjae?” 

“Because you’re hiding something from me.” 

At this point, you were starting to feel a little creeped out and uncomfortable, and you had no idea why he was growing much more possessive each minute. You noticed how he was trying to get you to talk about your childhood friend, but you didn’t want to at this point.

Especially with what happened between you two last night. 

With all the pressure and tension in the air, you couldn’t help but hold back the tears in your eyes as they poured down your cheeks. You couldn’t care less if you looked like an absolute mess in front of your date right now, and you knew that you could no longer ignore the excruciating pain you have been holding back since last night. 

“I-I don’t know, Hyunjae. I don’t know what to feel,” you sobbed, lowering your head down to the point that your tears were now dripping onto your dress.  

Hyunjae was slightly taken aback by the scene that unfolded in front of him, and he quickly pulled you in for an embrace, rubbing your back to help soothe you as best as he could before you started speaking up again.

“I’m so confused with everything…I made many preparations for you because I genuinely like you so much, Hyunjae…I have had the biggest crush on you for the longest time…but everything that happened last night…I can’t be so sure anymore…” you sobbed. 

“What happened last night, Y/N? Talk to me about it,” Hyunjae reassured you with his calming voice, not knowing if it would make the situation better or worse, but he had to know. 

Even if the truth would eventually crush him. 

“I-I elicited help from Sunwoo…because I wanted to please you so bad as your date…but everything that unfolded last night…I-I don’t know where I stand now…” 

That was enough for Hyunjae to combine the dots to paint the whole picture in his head. He knew that from the start, as he saw both of you together, there was something about your relationship that felt so different from any other pairings seen on campus.

He never once believed in fate, nor about the red thread that connects one person to another to form the seemingly perfect relationship ever. But he knew deep down within his gut that you had a thing for Sunwoo, even if you hadn’t noticed it. 

It was enough to prove that even he couldn’t win over Sunwoo from you, and that little crush he had with you was slowly dying down—his heart slowly tearing apart. However, he was too nice to take you away from the one to which your heart truly belonged.

As your cries grew heavier and louder, Hyunjae could only do his best to hug you tighter, wishing he could savour this moment for as long as possible before he eventually had to let go. 

He knew he would miss hearing you talking about him whenever he came close on campus, and he surely would miss admiring you from afar whenever you weren’t paying attention to him. 

Knowing that you wouldn’t hear him as you were caught up in your emotions, he slowly took out your phone to send a text to a number before he turned it off and placed it back into your bag before he mumbled a few words to himself. 

“Thank you for making me happy over the past year, Y/N. You truly are one of a kind.” 

You had no idea how long you had been out as you slowly opened your eyes and adjusted your vision. The sun had set, and the skies were slowly turning pitch black, indicating that the day had passed by quickly.

Immediately, you felt that you were lying on something soft underneath your head, and you slowly lifted your head before you eventually sat up straight and backed away slightly from the man himself.

“You look like you have seen a ghost, Y/N.” 

He couldn’t be. Why was he here? How did he know your location? 

It can’t be true, and you won’t believe your eyes. So, you slowly leaned forward to pinch his cheeks, earning a yelp to show that it was a reality, not a dream.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for!” He screamed as he covered his cheek with the arm that he was spread on the back of the bench. 

“W-Why are you here, Sunwoo?” You questioned, clearly still confused with the whole situation that you were in. 

“What do you mean why? You texted me to come pick you up,” he answered.

Huh? You texted him? That can’t be true. 

Immediately, you took your phone from your bag to click into your messages with him. Sure enough, you had sent a text to the male himself, and it was the way he had only seen the message, and it was enough to make his way towards you quickly.

Before you could even ask where exactly he knew where to find you, you clearly remembered how you both had shared your locations, and you instantly covered your face with both hands before you slumped forward.

“Oh my god…” you heaved. 

There was this short silence between you two before Sunwoo eventually cleared his throat to tell you he was still here with you in case you had completely forgotten about his existence. 

“That dress looks nice on you, I’ll admit that.” 

“W-Well! It’s not for you, so don’t be so full of yourself- Wait, where’s Hyunjae?” You asked as you finally remembered why you had been sleeping on a bench.

As you stood up to turn your head around to scan the area, Sunwoo couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh before gripping one of your hands, causing you to turn back towards your friend.

“Listen. We need to talk.” 

Oh, hell no. This is the conversation that you have been trying your best to avoid for the past 24 hours.

“W-What is there to talk about?” 

“Everything.” He gently pulled your hand down so that you were sitting right beside him on the bench again, his grip tightening around you as if he didn’t want to let you go anytime soon.

“Look, I- God, this is much harder than I imagined in my head,” Sunwoo groaned as he ran his free hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly to show his frustration. “After what happened last night…that isn’t something that friends would do, and I think you know that yourself.” 

Please stop talking about last night. “O-Okay…and where are we going with this?” You asked. 

“Y/N. Normal friends don’t kiss and make out the way we did last night, you know that, don’t you?”

Please, just stop. “O-Okay…and?” 

“So…where do we stand now? Y/N?”

God. “I- Umm- Well- What do you want me to say?” 

“I don’t know…literally just anything. I need to know, Y/N. I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep for the entire night because of that.” 

You really wished that you could answer that question right here and then, but you weren’t too sure about your feelings. In the beginning, you were certain that Sunwoo wasn’t interested in having an actual relationship since he was out there making out with different girls weekly or even once every couple of days. 

That was enough to show that he just wanted to have some fun and be as single as he could—not committed to an actual relationship—so that he could explore his needs.

Isn’t it? 

“But you- umm- you’re out here sleeping with other girls-”

“I don’t just sleep around with people, Y/N. It’s because I want to learn how to please you.” 

Wait, what? 

You weren’t too sure if you had heard those words correctly, and you kept blinking your eyes at the male himself, making him shut his eyes as he leaned back onto the bench.

“Fuck, this is so frustrating, uh-” Sunwoo placed one of his hands to cover his eyes for a little while to regain his composure. “Y/N, wasn’t it obvious enough that the reason I have been avoiding you is because I started liking you? More than just friends at one point, I wasn’t sure if you were cool with it, and I definitely didn’t want to ruin our friendship since we were kids. Why did you think I tried my best to stop you from doing whatever we did in my apartment last night?” 

No way. There was absolutely no way. 

“S-Since when did you feel this way, Sunwoo?” You needed to know. You needed to see if it aligns with the timeline of when you first knew something was different about the relationship between you two.

“Since high school, senior year to be exact.”

It can’t be. 

“Y-You fell first?” 

“Huh?”

At this point, you both were just staring at one another in confusion. When Sunwoo finally understood what you meant, your cheeks immediately heated up once again, causing you to turn your back on him.

He fell first. There was absolutely no way he could’ve done that-

Before you had enough time to think about everything, Sunwoo instantly grabbed your shoulder and turned you back to him; his face was now mere inches away, and you could feel his breath upon you.

“Am I thinking this right? Are we on the same page, Y/N?”

“I-I don’t know-”

“Please…just tell me…it’s hurting me so bad from the inside; I need to know, even if it’s a simple nod from you,” he begged. 

You were still in denial—or rather, you didn’t want to accept that Sunwoo had feelings for you for a couple of years. It couldn’t be; you were just his childhood friend and nothing else. You weren’t as attractive as the other girls he’s been with; you didn’t smile the way the girls he would often see hanging out in the school cafeteria; you weren’t as outgoing as the girls that he chose every week-

Just as you tried your best to devise a plausible excuse, Sunwoo decided to take matters into his own hands as he pulled your shoulders forward to press his lips against yours. 

The way he knew he was best at.

God, it was the same sensation that you felt the night before. Those soft, plump lips made you crave for more, and how his hands felt so warm and gentle against your skin.

At that point, you knew that you didn’t have to say anything as you slowly relaxed your shoulders and eased into the kiss, parting your lips slightly for him to gain more entrance into the kiss. You returned it like he did, passionately making out in the park as if nobody was there to judge.

It had been a minute or two when you both finally broke apart to steady your breathing, Sunwoo’s fingers still resting on your cheeks and caressing them as he looked into your eyes lovingly. 

“Yeah, this was way better than getting an answer from your mouth,” he smirked, earning a slap from you on his shoulders. 

“You nasty, dirty-minded raccoon!” 

“Can you blame me, though? I’m not known as the fuckboy on campus for nothing. Well actually, not anymore, I suppose.” For the first time, he gave you a genuine smile that you hadn't received in a while (not since you both drifted apart a year ago) as he pulled you in to place a little peck on your forehead. 

“W-What do you mean, Sunwoo?”

“What I’m saying is I have already gotten my one and only right here, and I don’t have to go around sleeping with other girls anymore,” he winks. 

“Gross. I never even agreed to all of this.”

“Well, you don’t have to.” He pulls in for another kiss. “I’m going to make sure that you’re not going to run away from me anymore, and we’ll figure out this whole situationship, or relationship, if that’s what you want to call it, together.” 

You sighed. “B-But what if it doesn’t work out? You know it’s not easy going from childhood friends to the…you know…“L” word.” 

You had no idea why you felt so shy with that last bit, and Sunwoo could immediately tell by the way you were squirming around restlessly. 

“What “L” word, honey? Maybe you should teach me about it,” he grinned.

“Go look it up yourself, dumbhead.”

“Shame. And I was getting used to this new way of talking with you.”

“Disgusting.”

“You love me.”

“No, I don’t.”

With one swift movement, he scooped you up before placing you on his lap, causing you to yelp a bit before he placed both of your arms on both sides of his shoulders. He rested his hands on your hips to keep you in place, smiling at you as if he had just seen the most beautiful and precious human being he had ever laid his eyes upon throughout the past several years. 

This was the moment that he had desperately been waiting for. 

“I love you so much, Y/N. More than you could ever imagine.” 

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @gluion @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @djidfk @Doorhak @adorhak @daisyvisions @aimeecarreros (join my permanent taglist here!)

[jjkpilled]

“Do you know how pretty you are?”

WARNINGS: mentions of disordered eating, body image issues :3 enjoy!

As I stood silently infront of my mirror observing my figure, he walked in. He didnt say anything, im sure he didnt even see me. I continued silently flexing my stomach to make it look flatter, and sucking in my jaw to make the line sharper.

“Thats whats wrong with people these days.” he broke the silence, causing me to jump slightly.

“hm?” Satoru walked towards me and stopped just behind me, him being around a foot taller than me, he could see me in the mirror.

“They-… tend to make such beautiful girls think theyre any less than they are. With all these-… standards.” I stayed quiet, until i felt his lengthy fingers snake around my waist, pulling me backwards into him.

“Do you know how pretty you are, princess..?” Honestly right now I felt like anything but a princess… I continued my silence as his hands trailed up and down my sides, his distinct chuckle making my heart race.

“Well..? do you…?” He repeated, i didnt really know the answer to that. Because, sometimes i felt pretty. But.. sometimes i wanted to crawl into a hole and never be seen again.

I wasnt sure how to respond so I just shrugged. He sighed and walked away, was he upset with me…? My attachment issues wanted me to fall to my knees, crying and begging for his forgiveness, but the logical side of things told me to just shake it off.

Maybe he wasnt sure how to help.

“Have you had lunch?” He echoed through the house, getting louder as he re-approached my room.

“Mhm.” I hadnt, but I know he’d yell at me if he caught me skipping meals again.

“Dont lie, princess. That’s not cute.” damnit. He always knew when I was lying.. it was weird.

“Im not.” I sighed, turning around to face him. He had his dark, round sunglasses propped up on his head. He looked at me through those piercing blue eyes and quietly made his way towards me, cupping my face in his hands.

“Why?” he asked, to which I cocked my head sideways at him in confusion.

“Why do you do this to yourself…? Who made you think like this..?” He said quietly, his hands running through my hair. When I didnt answer his question he grabbed my face and slightly squeezed.

“Why are you so quiet today?”

“I-I dont know…” I, pathetically, answered. He sighed and unexpectedly hugged me, tight. I hugged him back and he… started sniffling…? Was the Satoru Gojo crying on me?

“Youre so.. beautiful.. and you dont see it… Yet you-… You hurt yourself a-and.. you just- youre gonna kill yourself some day doing that! A-And, it seems like you dont even care!” He cried, he didnt cry.. he just- wasnt a person who did that… yet, he was quite literally sobbing on me.

“Are you starving yourself?” his question was met with silence, he let go of me and took a step back.

“Answer me, damnit! I need to know! Are you fucking starving yourself, again?!” I felt tears welling up, i shook my head quietly.

“Stop lying to me!” He yelled, he didnt yell, ever. At least not at me. But.. he seemed really upset.

I whimpered quietly as he tightly gripped my shoulders, enough to send a painful jolt down my spine.

“You are going to stop with this nonsense! Do you hear me?! Do you fucking hear me, y/n?!” I nodded while tears started to trickle. Seeing this made his anger immediately subside. He hugged me tightly.

“Do you… know… how pretty you are…?”

[alpydk]

Gone with the Weave

Took a few days off to think. Seriously considered deleting everything, Tumblr, all of it. Realised I'd become a little lost in my writing, getting jealous over other people, insecure about my own abilities, forgot who I was writing for and why. So today I sat down and actually wrote for me again and you know what? It's helped. And because I'm hypocritical I'm going to share it with all of you.

So, here we have post-Epilogue short. Hurt/Little comfort. Gale/Tav - Tav & Astarion - Word count : 2398 -

CW - PPD / Grief / Death / Dad!Gale / Scenes of child death (Hallucinations)

It was like tar. It pulled her down and filled her lungs, thick and black. Tav tried to fight against it, tried to find the light that she knew shone above it, but her limbs were weighted down by fatigue and longing. A part of her wanted to be dragged down by it, to be lost to the depths of her depression, to disappear and no longer have the responsibility that had been thrusted upon her. To sleep and never wake; to be with him.

To everyone around her, she was a natural mother, tending to her baby’s needs, a confident smile at the life she had brought into the world. Tav was proud, strong, had been through the hells and back, figuratively and literally, and survived unscathed. But as with most, her pride was becoming her downfall. She didn’t need help, didn’t want it because weakness was not the sign of a good mother. As the days passed, as sleep turned to hallucination, still she clung onto the mask of what they all wanted to see, the last remnant of a life before life.

The child cried, but she did not react instantly, a quiet hope that someone else would come and tend to its needs whilst she pretended to sleep. But she didn’t sleep. For so long, the gods of dream and nightmare alike had ignored her pleas, and she had lain there awake, watching as the infant took all from her, leaving her with nothing but guilt and misery.

She wished he was there to help her, that his weave touched fingers that brought calm to her soul could calm the one that lay in the crib. He should have been there for this, she told herself, his strong forearms cradling the baby, a soft poem uttered under starlight bringing it to soothe. If only she had known before the final decision was made; if only things had ended differently and he had stayed, then maybe there would be fewer tears shed.

Still it cried, and no one came, the silence broken by the shrieks she had come to despise. It would be so easy to just leave, to walk out and never return, but then they would all know what she was truly like. The tar that had filled her lungs and surrounded her heart, leaving her bitter and tainted, would be exposed and they would know the truth. They would hate her as she hated the innocent child in front of her. But what if…? The thought was fleeting, cruel and unspeakable, a horror even in her own twisted mind. As night turned to the day, as cries turned to coos, she watched the baby, always watching and waiting for something to change.

---

Evening had set in and though the stars shone brightly as he had promised her, the night brought Tav little comfort knowing the long, drawn-out hours that were to come. She carried the baby to the small tub, her body weary and mind wandering, and she placed it in the water, watching as the bubbles rose quickly from its soft lips, as the arms tensed and held out towards her, as the deep brown eyes she had once loved lost their light again.

A knock at the door brought her around to her senses as she sat in front of the empty tub, the baby cooing peacefully from its bassinet. This had not been the first time she had seen such sights in the weeks since the birth. At first, it had been minor things, a shadow in the room that she had mistaken for a friend, the child crying whilst it actually slept. Soon the images became darker, the newborn lifeless in her arms when she awoke suddenly during the night, a slight misstep causing her to drop it to the floor, its body like that of a rag doll as it hit the wooden floorboards. Nothing scared her more though than herself, her lack of reaction, the quiet pleasure she saw in the freedom being granted to her. Would murder or suicide be the more publicly acceptable option? Would they forgive her? Could he forgive her, should she make that choice?

Tav rose from the floor, the image shaken away, and the mask put back in place. A deep breath was released before the door was answered with a smile and the face of Astarion greeted her. She was thankful it was him and not one of the more caring of the group; it would mean fewer questions asked, less concern over her wellbeing, and a chance that the walls would remain intact for another night.

He entered without invitation, many nights like this in the last six months that had thankfully grown less frequent since the birth. “You look like shit, darling.”

She smirked at his words, fully aware that the lack of sunlight was making her as pale as him, that the deep bags hung under her eyes. “Well, we can’t all match up to you, can we?”

Astarion made himself at home. Wine was grabbed from the cupboard and his feet put up on the coffee table. He noticed the baby but chose to ignore it, instead watching as Tav quickly sorted her hair in an attempt to look less haggard. “Resident do-gooder Wyll has asked me to come and check in on you.”

“And since when do you take orders from others?” She sat near him on the sofa, the faint stirring of the child drawing her attention. All she wanted was a moment like the old times, of two friends chatting about something that wasn’t related to birth or parenting, of wine and shameless flirting that meant nothing.

He watched her, her eyes allowing him to see the cracks that lay so visibly. “Since, 1 – it’s my turn, and 2 – it’s been a year.”

Tav scoffed. “Taking turns? Is that what you all do?” She ignored his second remark, a year since the Netherbrain, since that day when everything was supposed to change for the better.

“Quite frankly, yes. It’s one thing to be holed up alone with seven thousand spawn, it’s another to be holed up alone with that…” Astarion gestured his hand dismissively to the infant.

She knew he was right, life would be better without it, she wouldn’t be alone here, needing to be checked up on as if she there were something wrong with her. “You know you don’t have to. We’re fine.” The lie slipped out as easily as it ever did, the painted-on smile meeting her dead eyes. The small cry made her bristle, made the lie falter, and she hoped it was nothing but that one whimper.

He sipped his wine, the quickening of her heart rate deceptive as it cut through the heavy silence. “Still, we should at least share in a drink, shouldn’t we? A remembrance of sorts.”

“No, that’s not needed.” Tav was quick to cut off this suggestion. It was one thing for the wall to crumble in front of him that she was tired of sleepless nights, another for the actual truth to be pushed upon her and the dam to break.

The cry could be heard again, now with little pause between breaths. She wanted to ignore it, wanted it to die down, wanted anyone else to deal with it. But no one else would come. He would not come. She could see Astarion tensing with the building noise, and she had to react to save face. She stood, approaching the bassinet, a brief flash of annoyance in her eyes as she glanced down and picked up the baby. It was as if it knew, was manipulating her and drawing her towards ruin, as if the gods were not satisfied enough with the sacrifices she had already made.

“Aww, you just want to see uncle Astarion, don’t you?” This was what people wanted, fawning over the infant, exaggerated displays of affection that she loathed to give. She carried the baby over, its cries stopping, and she gritted her teeth, knowing the moment she put it down, the noise would commence again.

“Oh, no, darling. It’s quite alright.” He pulled his legs off the table, a clear discomfort, and with it knocked over the bottle of wine.

The scarlet liquid spread across the wood, dripping quickly onto the floor, a lazy flow as it crept between the floorboards. Tav couldn’t take her eyes from it, the baby lying amongst it, the rag doll limbs amongst its own blood, lifeless brown eyes that stared back at her. Her heart didn’t beat, she stood not in panic, only a numbness lay in her mind at the sight.

Astarion grabbed a cloth and began to clear the wine, Tav seemingly frozen with the child in her arms, her mind a million realms away, a feeling he knew too well himself. “You know, they say white wine can clear out red…”

Her heart took a beat, a recollection of where she was, of the company present, and she hoped the vision she had seen had been instantaneous so as not to draw attention. The baby was thankfully silent, and she cursed herself for not feeling upset at the sights she was seeing. Murder or suicide…It would be so easy.

She sat with the baby in her arms, Astarion cupping the glass of wine as he leaned away from her on the sofa. She could see how uncomfortable he was becoming, as if looking for a conversation that was casual enough to fulfil his objective for checking in on her.

“So, Gale-“

“Is gone.” She interrupted him off before he could even start. This was not the topic she needed. He should be there with her, holding her through sleepless nights, soothing their child as it cried through the darkened hours. He should be sharing in her tears, her smiles, consoling her as she struggled with her doubts. The baby began to stir again, as if picking up on her emotions.

“Tav, it’s been a year and you’ve not spoken with anyone about what happened.”

She ignored him, his voice and the quiet cries already beginning to overwhelm her senses. There was nothing to talk about; there was only this lonely guilt filled existence. Days and nights of tar, of emptiness, of decisions she couldn’t bring herself to make. Hoping her mask wouldn’t slip, she rocked the baby in an attempt to calm it. She was a proud, strong mother. She was a good mother.

He sighed, not knowing if he should bother to help or not, but after all Tav had done for him in the past, he knew he had to do something. “Pass it here.”

She lifted her head, a defensive hold on the baby in her arms. Was it maternal love or the pride that prevented her from handing it over so freely? “No, I can handle this.”

Astarion reached over tentatively. The baby smelt odd, like spices he could not pinpoint, and his stomach turned slightly, but he would not accept what she was saying. He gently took it into his arms, Tav’s resistance minimal, as if her body was mutinying against her mind. The child grew quiet again, a small coo as its hand reached for his shirt and small pink fingers hooked around the cotton.  

Tears built up instantly in Tav’s eyes, a guilt that she hadn’t been good enough to do this one simple thing, that she had failed in being a mother. She wanted to hide it all, wanted to run away, but she also wanted to fall apart so that people knew how deep she had fallen into the darkness and could come and save her, save her just as he had done so long ago. She wiped at her eyes, but it made little difference, the sight of her friend holding her baby, a light in his own eyes she had never seen before, a moment of innocence on the face of a seasoned killer. Why could she not feel that way? What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she love…?

Her words were quiet. Astarion wouldn't care, and she knew it wouldn’t faze him. He wouldn’t coddle her like the others would. He was what she needed now that all was lost. “I can’t handle this…”

---

The night passed in a blur. He listened as she spoke of all that had happened in the last few months, of the things she had seen, things she believed she wanted, of pride and guilt that filled her heart to bursting. She spoke of the loneliness that consumed her and the child she could not connect to, of how it reminded her of the past she wished to forget, a past she longed for desperately. One life had ended, and another had begun and all she had been left with was shadows.

The baby slept through for the first time in months, Astarion having settled it in its crib as she had managed an hour of sleep. She’d waited ages in silence, listening for the sudden interruption that never came. It was as if it knew of her confession, and she hated and loved it for what it had done.

In the early hours her friend left, the rising sun announcing his need to depart, and with it she saw the light between the grey clouds, a new day ready to start again. The child stirred, and she stepped towards the crib with hesitation. She saw the purple robes that had been draped lightly at the base where it slept, the subtle scent of the library lying amongst spices bringing calm to the bedroom, and she heard the sound of the waves on docks, brushed up with the morning gale. Picking up her baby gathered with the robes, she held them both closely, the tears building, the relief, the love for her child breaking through the walls she had built.

The guilt flowed, but it was not met with a resignation; it was met with the promise to do better, to be the mother she should’ve been, to be the woman he had once loved. The child gazed at her, bright eyed, and she saw Gale once again; for a brief moment he was with her. She was not alone. She would never be alone.

[artsyannierose]

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

LIKE

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

[sparksqfly]

⭒❝Speak Now❞ ࿓

there's the silence, there's my last chance, i stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me

synopsis: modern au - you're about to get married; you should be happy, but on your big day, all you can think about is that redhead you were in love with your whole life, who is now determined to disrupt everything just to win you back.

author's note: this is a short story to celebrate the release of "speak now (taylor's version)," which I am very happy and excited about! this story is literally inspired by the song "speak now," and it's a multiverse full of references to taylor swift and her lyrics bc i have her songs tattoed in my head hehehe, this references won't ruin your reading experience if you're not a fan. english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes i may have made. ty for readig <3

warnings!/about the story: the image is not intended to represent the reader; it's just there for aesthetic purposes. mentions of the reader wearing dresses. the reader is kinda forced to marry an idiot and be in a heterosexual relationship, and that mf is an idiot. joel is referred to as ellie's father, and both ellie and the reader are between 21 and 25 years old.

wc: 3,3k

what the fuck am I doing? you asked yourself looking at yourself in the mirror, you had possibly been doing it for two hours, or three. you came out of your trance when you saw your friend, dina came into the room where you were getting ready. you had asked the girls who had come to help you with your appearance to leave for a while because you wanted to have "your rituals before your big day" which so far had consisted of looking in the mirror, feeling like throwing up and being about to cry.

"hey sweetie," dina said closing the door behind herself. she was holding something white in her hands, you'd had enough of that color. she put it down on one of the couches that was somewhere in the room and dragged a chair over so she could sit in front of you. she gently caressed your cheek and grabbed your hands and looked at you. "you always look beautiful, but today you look stunning." you smiled at her, not wanting to reject her compliments, but you really didn't feel beautiful today, you felt even disgusted with yourself.

dina took your hands in hers and smiled at you, "i have some gifts for you," you sighed. "you don't have to give me anything, dee. there are already too many gifts, too many," you sighed. "ok but listen to me. I already know you got something new, the dress," you looked in the mirror again. when you went to buy the dress you were with dina and your sister, you were already not liking the idea of the wedding and you already felt uncomfortable surrounded by so much white. she had already shown up and you tried to make up for how wrong it felt to do what you were doing with the greatest traditions possible, buying the longest and most "princess-like" dress you could find, a dress that perfectly covered your tattoos, buying pink flowers and golden decorations because that's how it was supposed to be.

"not that tradition again," you joked. you were too sick of tradition. "i know, i know but you know how i am. look, i'll help you" dina without waiting a second longer, knelt in front of you and started trying to lift your dress. obviously, it was difficult for her because of the number of layers it had "fuck..." she cursed, and you couldn't help but laugh listening to her. she gently grabbed your ankle and showed you a small blue ribbon, you smiled at her, and she gently tied it to your ankle, just above your shoe. "something blue," she said with a little girlish smile. she sat back down, sat back down across from you and pulled a necklace out of her pocket, a delicate chain with a small paper airplane charm on it. she put it on and tucked it inside your dress "something borrowed?" you asked raising an eyebrow and dina denied, "something used". you nodded, finally dina pulled something out of her pocket. you froze in place and felt dizzy. "something borrowed" she said and showed you a bracelet. a bracelet you had seen a thousand times, a brown bracelet with three leather straps. two hands pointing to a turkish eye in the middle. her bracelet. the bracelet that ellie always wore on her tattooed arm and that you sometimes played with when she ran a hand across your shoulders, hugging you.

taking advantage of your trance, dina fastened ellie's bracelet on your wrist and smiled at you as you stood up "i know you will make the right decision and i will always be there to support you," she said and bent down to kiss your forehead. as quickly as she came she was gone. you looked in the mirror again, touching the bracelet as you did with ellie and as if you had called out to her she appeared through the door and closed it behind her. you saw her in the mirror and immediately turned around in disbelief. the last thing you expected was to see her, much less the way she was now, dressed in a suit and all dolled up. the last time you had seen her was two weeks ago, you had met for the last time, you had touched each other for the last time, you had memorized each other entirely and finally you had said goodbye with a last kiss. you hadn't had the courage to cross her name out of the wedding list, it pained you to even see her name.

"you don't know what I had to go through to get in here, it looks like your lovely future husband uninvited me" said ellie playing with her hands, "you look beautiful". really? was that really all she had to say? "ellie, what are you doing here?" you got up from your chair to stand in front of her. you watched as ellie admired your dress, as she carefully analyzed your face and after what seemed like an eternity she took courage to grab you by the waist and bring you to her. "don't do it" said ellie gluing her forehead to yours. "meet me behind the church, we can go wherever you want, we'll do whatever you want. but don't say yes" you sighed, ellie williams was begging you to stay with her, to run away with her.

"els, i can't be this kind of person," you didn't know if you were trying to convince yourself or her. "no, you're not the kind of girl who should be marrying an idiot." "els, please. i can't do this, i can't let him down like this. i can't let everyone down like this" ellie sighed heavily and cup your face in her hands "don't do this to yourself, don't do this to me. neither of us deserve it." you were about to burst into tears, your thoughts were starting to run through your head too fast. "ellie" you sighed but she shook her head "you need to hear me out. i'm sorry, i'm really sorry for not telling you when we were little, i was 14 and I knew absolutely nothing, i didn't want to lose the friendship we had because i was afraid i was confused. i'm sorry I didn't tell you in high school when we were both teenagers and I'm sorry I didn't tell you when we started getting closer. i was so scared but i really love you, i have loved you since you walked into my house that day with a book about dinosaurs for my birthday. and i still love you, i was too scared to tell you and I don't want to lose you."

in that moment you saw the weight that ellie seemed to be carrying disappear from her back. ellie, the 14 year old girl you gave a book about dinosaurs to when she turned fourteen because your parents wanted you to meet her since they were friends with her father. the girl you became inseparable with when you both entered high school and when you started to like her. the best memories of your life were with ellie by your side, you could always be yourself with her and you never had the arguments you had with john, your fiancé. ellie had always listened to you and had always made you a priority. "can you say something?" ellie brought you back to reality with her voice. "ellie..." you were about to speak when you heard footsteps approaching the room they were in and you opened your eyes in complete alarm when you heard your mother-in-law speak. "ellie, you have to go" you said grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her to the back door "y/n, what the fuck? " she asked unfocused "please, john's family is coming, they can't see you here" you followed her leading her to the back door and when you opened it you pulled her inside being careful not to make her fall "what-" ellie asked again and before she went on you gave her a quick peck, that made her calm down immediately "keep going up those stairs, you're going straight out to where the ceremony is being held. don't let anyone see you els, please" she seemed to understand immediately and you closed the door. what had you just done?

you turned around just to see your fiancé's family walk in. all dressed in pastel and with smiles which now made you uneasy. they were talking about how beautiful you looked, how happy they were with your union and fantasizing about how many children you would have. yeah, sure. as those hellish minutes passed all you could think about was ellie, she had confessed to you how long she had been in love with you and now you were thinking how obvious it was. you realized that you had spent half your life loving her without telling her and you were about to spend the rest of your life regretting not telling her. when john's family finally left you sighed and sat back in your chair stroking ellie's bracelet and at that moment you saw your fiancé walk in. you didn't feel anything when you saw him, you weren't even angry that he broke the tradition of not seeing you before the ceremony, it was just like him not to pay attention to you. you thought about how you had felt when you saw ellie walk in and how empty you felt now.

"you look beautiful" he said. "thank you" you sighed looking at him "what do you want?" "is that how you talk to your fiancé? you're not mad because i broke this stupid tradition of not seeing you, are you?" you sighed. you hated it when he was like that. "is that your little friend’s bracelet?" that comment made you put your hand on the bracelet defensively and you turned around "maybe, what if it is?" "that trinket doesn't go with the expensive dress my mom bought you" you didn't know if it was a joke but you felt too annoyed. "leave me alone, it's tradition and ellie gave it to me, it's something important for both of us" john just rolled his eyes and grabbed the door to leave "see you in a little while, wifey".

you were left alone in the room; the silence was deafening, and you began to rethink absolutely everything. you liked Ellie since you were little, she was the person you loved the most after your family and you had hurt her with thousands of cuts just because of your eagerness to please people with what you were supposed to do. but on the other hand if you decided to be selfish you would disappoint your fiancé's whole family. those people you really loved as well as they loved you and had paid for that whole wedding. tour family too, they were so happy for your engagement and on top of that they didn't even know you liked women. how could you call off your wedding being only a few minutes away to run away and tell them that yes, you liked women and you had been in love with your best friend for more than seven years.

there you were, with a bouquet of roses and several decorative plants adorning your bridal bouquet. as you looked at it you laughed to yourself thinking that one of the plants sticking out of the bouquet looked just like the plant ellie had tattooed on her forearm. "lover" by taylor swift was playing on the speakers, she was singing about always wanting to go where your person goes, about always being close and that was all you wanted with ellie. "you look beautiful" your father's voice made you turn around. he intertwined his arm with your free arm and you smiled at him, the guilt was eating you alive. "pa'" you called out to him and he turned around "yes honey?" "if anything happens today, i just wanted to say i'm sorry" he frowned but couldn't say anything as the song ended and that meant there were only seconds left before you had to walk down the aisle.

the doors opened and the organ began to play what now sounded like a death march. the doors you were standing in front of opened. the light blinded you for a brief moment and then you saw eyes. what felt like thousands of eyes on you watching for any movement and surely noticing your disgruntled expression. you started walking on the red carpet towards the altar where there was a priest, john and some friends. were you really going to humiliate him like that in front of so many people?

as you continued walking you started to look for some eyes. ellie's green eyes, which you couldn't find anywhere, made you want to cry again. it was possible that she had really gotten tired of the back and forth and you didn't blame her. she deserved to be happy with someone who always put her first. maybe it was for the best.

as you walked down the aisle the only glances that caught your attention were from dina and Jesse, your best friends. who were possibly the only ones who knew and that was what their eyes reflected. concern and sadness. dina even tried to force a smile but jesse couldn't. they knew you even better than you knew yourself.

your father let go of your arm and you handed one of your bridesmaids your bouquet of flowers. then, your father-in-law helped you up the aisle and you stood in front of john. he said something with his lips that you didn't even bother to understand. the wedding music stopped and the priest began to talk and talk about love and various things that you didn't pay attention to. you could only think about her because you didn't even want to look at the audience. you were terrified of what might happen in the next few minutes. had you really dodged a bullet or you just lost the love of your life?

john's expression changed and you quickly got back in tune with the priest's speech. did the vows already need to be said? when you heard what followed you felt like you were about to vomit. "if anyone wants to interrupt this union speak now or forever hold your peace". you looked at the audience completely scared even though you didn't know why. did you want her to show up? you heard the priest take a breath to speak again but another noise came even louder.

you heard footsteps and the wooden benches where the guests were sitting creak under someone's weight and finally behind jesse and dina's bench ellie came out and stood in the middle of the red carpet. her hands were shaking and everyone turned to look at her in complete silence. ellie was only looking at you and you at her. the horrified looks from everyone in the room increased when she uttered the single word "y/n" obviously the expectations of the guests had led them to believe that ellie was there for ojhn and not for you.

john grabbed one of your hands, the one with ellie's bracelet in it, and you looked at him for a second. what reaffirmed what you were about to do was that he didn't look sad, he looked angry. he was losing you and he wasn't even worried. you shook your head at him and he opened his eyes wide when he realized it, although only he did it. you saw your father-in-law signal to security to possibly get ellie out and with that signal you grabbed your dress and went down the small stairs. ellie's relieved face made you gasp but there was no time. you ran out and pushed the door with your body. you felt ellie's footsteps running hurriedly behind you. you turned to look at her for a second and saw her closing the door. you kept running towards the room where you were getting ready and ellie came in behind you closing the door.

"ellie" you called her and she ran to hug you burying her face between your neck and shoulder. you brought a hand to her hair and stroked it. "thank you" she said in an incredibly low tone of voice. you pulled away from her "so now what?" "we're leaving" ellie said looking all around and you nodded, you turned around showing her your back "take it off" you said decisively "what?" "fuck els, take off my dress. it's the only thing I bought it for and i can't go out like this" you quickly felt his hands on your back and how he unbuttoned it. you stepped out of the dress without bothering to grab it and obviating that you had no bra but it was ellie, she had seen you a thousand times. you grabbed the short satin dress you had for the party after the ceremony and put it on without thinking. you went to the door where you had dismissed your ellie a few minutes ago and motioned for her to come downstairs with you. ellie nodded and before you started downstairs she gave you her suit jacket so you wouldn't be so cold. she grabbed your hand and the two of you started down the stairs at a brisk pace.

once you two came out, turned into the street and you saw her car parked nearby. she squeezed your hand and they ran to the car. there were some guests on the street watching the show but ellie didn't even pay attention to them, she put a hand on your back and opened the passenger door of her car for you. you looked at her and got in, without wasting time she closed your door carefully and got into the driver's seat, she started the car and when you realized it, they had already turned the block and started on their way. "are you okay?" ellie asked you, putting a hand on your knee and caressing it. "what did i just do?" you wondered aloud to yourself. ellie looked concerned "you regretted it?" you turned to look at her. Her gaze shifted between your face and the road "no, I've never been more sure of anything in my life, it's just that this wasn't the way I would have liked things to go, neither for us nor for him" ellie nodded and continued stroking your leg "where do you want to go?" she asked and you smiled at her, she knew what that meant.

finally you arrived at ellie's house, where she lived with her father. you smiled as you walked through the door and ellie hugged your waist. many of your happiest memories were in that house, you had lost a lot of time but they were willing to make up for it. "ellie? is that you?" Joel's voice echoed from the kitchen. "yeah” ellie screamed in response. joel came out of the kitchen with a rag in his hands and his eyes widened as he saw you dressed in white and completely ready to get married. "well congratulations, he was an idiot." He said and as he came he left, heading to his room like a ghost.

you looked at Ellie and both burst out laughing. she carried you with her arms and took you to the living room sofa and laid you down on it and she got on top of you. you hugged her as she showered you with kisses "remember you asked me what you had just done? when we went out?" you nodded. "you had just run away from your wedding to your future wife" she joked and you hugged her again joining her lips and she hugged you too. that was the first thing you felt confident about all day. you had made the right choice.

[avalentina]

The Gift

100% Pure Fluff🧸🧸🧸

Kind of part 2 to A family that just can't be

Image not mine.

Harry talked you into it. He always does get his way, and even with a little pushback from you, he still got it. You agreed to one, ONE. One singular round of IVF.

"H. I don't care that you don't think it's expensive."

"Yes, I'm sure it's worth it to you if we get to have a baby."

"OH MY GOD, HARRY! Stop trying to turn this into a dirty joke, it's a serious topic H."

"I will not continuously set myself up for heartbreak."

"One. One round, if lightning doesn't strike, then maybe it's just not meant to be."

Harry made all the arrangements, doing it privately, sparing no expense, consulting your OBGYN, wanting to do literally everything possible to ensure that your dream of carrying the child, in addition to both of your dreams of having a family all came true.

"I promised you the world, our world, my love. And nothing will keep me from fulfilling that promise." H had said to you this morning when you woke up. He even went as far as to make your favorite breakfast. He also knows how much you love the Dino, so that was the car you took. Today is the day the fertilized eggs get planted back inside you. Tomorrow you're sleeping in, and then the next day Harry has to leave for a week to do a few more shows, but he'll be back in time for the two week check to see if it took.

Anne was checking in on you, you knew Harry asked her to, he hated the fact that he had to leave. You and Gem were having baby safe girl time almost every night. And when the two week check came, your OBGYN was already tearing up.

Seeing her tears you assumed the worst, and by the looks of it, so did Harry.

"Those better be happy tears like mine." She had said to the two of you.

You and Harry froze, once the words she had said sunk in, you finally regained your ability to speak.

"I…I…I'm actually pregnant?" You said, crying again.

"You 100% are." She replied. Harry couldn't hold it together any longer. He hugged you, then hugged your OBGYN and then hugged you again.

She gave you instructions on what to start watching for, some exercises to help, and everything else she could to ensure a healthy and safe pregnancy.

When you and H got back to the house, you grazed your fingers along the door handle to the future nursery with a smile on your face as you and Harry celebrated the miracle inside you.

[justagirl-with-aphone]

Hi! Umm..this is my first time making a request, so I'm not sure what to do 😂.

Anyway, I read bakugo's little sister and I have to say that it is adorable and wholesome! 😍, and I was wondering if you could do a part 2 of it, please. But no need to rush, you can take your time!

P.s. When I saw you followed me, I literally screamed out of excitement and I love your writing by the way!! 🤗

~Bakugo's Little Sister Pt.2!~

OMG, OFCCCCC, this was so much fun to write! and you're so sweet, OMG!!! TYSM :) @yourmajestyqueena (check out her art it's 🔥🔥)

Bakugo's little (young) sister ~FLUFF~ (NOT PROOFREAD)

(some extra headcanons and extra drabble at the end :) )

Pt.1!

Edit: why do I like the second drabble better than the main one? T-T

Just imagine...

His little sister doesn't like loud noises or yelling. Which is the embodiment of Bakugo Katsuki... Your brother... he's still in UA at the time and just as loud as ever; knowing how angsty he Is, his friends are surprised when they meet baby you for the first time. The spitting image of him, same eyes and posture, but awfully quiet. Let's just say Mina was all over you. So the squad is over at his house, and it was like a switch that was flipped as soon as he walked into the house. No longer yelling at Kiri but softly grumbling while stuffing his hands in his pockets. The sounds of little pitter-patters rounding the corner put a (small) smile on his face. You smile unintentionally big, showing the baby teeth you lost.

"Me and Momma made cookies!!" You giggle, frosting all over your face. You're only really talking to your brother because, like him, you're sketchy about new people. This shows when Mina bends down to pinch your cheeks, and you duck out of the way. (Much to her disappointment, you walk over to Katsuki.) You tug on his shirt, your cue to be picked up. which He smugly obliges to your request.

"Nuh Uh! He's not a meanie!" you and Kaminari were going back and forth; you were tricked convinced your brother was an angel that wouldn't hurt a fly. But unbeknownst to you, kaminari had more than his fair share of beatings from the blondie.

"yeah, right, he's an Assho- a butthead!" You were as stubborn as him, too. The glare Kami received from said blonde told him hell was waiting for him after they left. But unlike his usual yelling, Kats just rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch, muttering a quiet "shut up." sending and receiving an identical smirk to his own from you. maybe you guys were siblings after all...

~Extra headcanons I wasn't sure where to put~

~I SWEAR you would go on the longest rants about how cool your brother is, like you guys thought Midoriya was bad- all while this is happening, said blonde is just sitting there smirking.

~Mina and Kiri would totally tie for your favorite people in his friend group. You adore Kiri because he admires your brother and sees how he is under his shell, just like you do. He treats you like his little sibling while not patronizing you for being little. Mina is just Mina; I STRONGLY believe that Mina is amazing with kids, like Kiri, she would so treat you like her younger sister, you guys braid each other's hair, and she lets you play around in your makeup. Kats swears you talk to his little sister more then him...

~You and Kaminari bicker all the time, I swear. It happens so much that it's a running joke in the group. Anything Kami says, you automatically disagree (you know? like, why do some kids just want to argue?).

Extra mini drabble

Katsuki picks you up rarely. He has his own school, which lets out later than yours does. But your favorite days are the ones he has off. You walk out of school to see your favorite person waiting for you. So when you run into his arms today after school crying.

Let's just say he was ready to hurt a little kid...

Crouching down to your level and rubbing your back, "what's wrong? What happened?" there's a twinge of panic in his voice that he's trying not to let show.

"S-she keeps ripping up my drawings." You finally get out between sobs. He was already picking you up and walking over to the teacher, who was completely unaware of the situation. Let's just say he had a word with the teacher and the parents about their kids' behavior.

Unbeknownst to him, that picture you drew was a present for his birthday the next day. it was a picture of him, and you decked out in dynamite gear. You worked hard on it, and when you returned from recess, it was completely ruined, torn, and water-soaked. That night, you drew your little heart out, recreating the photo, and on his birthday, with your toothy smile, you proudly handed him the drawing. "I redrew it last night, and it wasn't ripped this time!" The dots connect in Kats's head, and he hugs you, patting you on your head. Let's just say it's not coming off his wall.

I tried my little heart out I swear I'm not sure if it hit as good as the first one T-T, but Finals are kicking my ASS! I hope you liked the main drabble and the extras!!! Good luck to anyone who has finals or tests coming up!!!

[justmystyles]

Hey, you are literally one of my favorite writers out here. I honestly love every piece you've written, it's just all really really really good. (guess I am not as good with words as you, oops)

Anyway, I am so glad your requests are open. I was wondering if you could write something where the reader comes from a difficult family. emotionally abusive mother, distant father, eldest daughter syndrome, all that jazz.

So she's sort of moved away but still keeps in touch with her family cuz she does sorta love them but it's hard. So it's like she's got some body image issues and she's closed off, pretty funny but likes to use humor to hide her feelings, has a lot of acquaintances but doesn't like sharing herself with people much (why do I feel like I am describing someone specific lol)

And one day it all just becomes too much ig. I don't know exactly how the story goes, guess I am just looking for some comfort. had a weird few days.

Honestly, love you work. You're great. Thank you for reading that bs. Doesn't matter much if you decide to write it or not. You're already perfect. <3

Let's talk about this ask I got a few weeks ago, shall we?

First of all, I am honored to be considered one of your favorite writers on here, your words are so sweet and I love you.

Now, getting down to business, this ask genuinely made me cry because I know this reader. I am this reader and it was truly terrifying that a stranger on the internet described me so well to me. As soon as I read this, I knew it was going to be my next series, and after weeks of taking down notes and ideas, I finally started actually writing it today.

It'll still be a bit before I start putting it out there, this premise means so much to me that I want to really take my time and do it the justice it deserves, but I have included a little teaser for you below the read more so that you can get a taste of what I'm working on. I've also tagged my tag list peeps so that you all can see what I've been up to.

I'll still be working on NYIML and the other asks I have (if you sent me one, I love you and I'm working on it, please be patient, life has kind of blown up over the last week or so).

You would watch on in awe, watching the music come to life, watching Harry work. From time to time, you would meet his gaze, noticing a softness in his eyes that warmed your insides. You brushed your feelings off, reminding yourself that Harry was just a kind person. He probably looked at everyone like that. He would often invite you to join the group for lunch, or drinks after a successful session. You always declined politely, certain he was just asking to be polite. 

But Harry wasn’t just asking to be polite, and those looks that he threw in your direction were different than the way he would look at anyone else. He was fascinated by you, he felt like he needed to know more. When he met you, he thought you were beautiful, and the refreshments that you had laid out showed how kind and thoughtful you were. But he knew there was more to you, and he couldn’t wait to find out all of it.

You truly were the studio mom, always making sure everyone had what they needed. You would bring coffee and breakfast in the morning, make everyone’s lunch orders, or reservations if they decided to go out. But you would never join them. He found that curious, but also disappointing. He understood if you wanted to focus on work while you were all locked away in the studio, hoping to take those lunches and extra curricular times to get to know you, but those moments never came. 

He had asked your coworkers about you, hoping to gain some kind of intel that could help him break the ice. Everyone told him how sweet you were, always asking about them and their goings on, but often changing the subject when the conversation would turn to you. He also learned about how funny you were. He would have never guessed, based on how quiet you’d been around him. He figured some of that was because of his celebrity status, he was used to people being shy around him, but they would typically warm up over time. You hadn’t. 

There was a bit of worry in his mind that maybe you had an issue with him. You weren’t cold with him, you had always been incredibly kind in your interactions with him and that threw him for a loop. He racked his brain, trying to think of anything he might have said or done to upset you, but nothing came to mind. Perhaps you just weren’t a fan of his? Whatever it was, he was determined to figure it out. 

One afternoon, he was coming back from lunch and he overheard you talking to someone in one of the studios. He lingered by the doorway, he knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he was desperate. 

The conversation wasn’t much, you were just talking about a television show, but he heard the excitement in your voice and couldn’t help but smile. You sounded so cute. And then you laughed, and he could have died right there on the spot. You had an incredible laugh. He wanted to do anything to be the reason that beautiful sound came out of your mouth. 

Harry was so distracted that he didn’t notice that you were coming out of the studio. You weren’t expecting anyone to be standing there, so you bumped right into him. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Harry.” Your eyes were wide with panic.

He put his hands on your shoulders to steady you. “Don’t be. That was on me. It’s what I get for zoning off in front of doors.” He chuckled. 

You smiled politely and nodded at him. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” 

“I was actually hoping to talk–”

He was interrupted by the ring of your phone. You pulled it out of your pocket and saw your mother’s name flash across the screen. “Crap, I’m so sorry it’s my mom. Do you mind if I take this?”

“No, not at all. You should always take calls from your mum.” 

“Right,” you scoff. “You’ve never talked to my mother.” You answer the phone, walking away quickly. 

He noticed your posture stiffen when you answered, and he hoped everything was okay. Once you were out of sight, he left, returning to the studio. “Y/N is taking a phone call, she’ll be right back.” 

When you finally returned, you apologized with a smile on your face, but Harry could see the sadness in your eyes. You took a seat at the computer, and he came up behind you, placing his hand softly on your back. You subconsciously relaxed into his touch. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked. 

You put on your best fake smile, which he immediately saw though. “Yeah, thanks.” 

He wanted to press, but he knew it wasn’t the right time or place. He also wasn’t totally sure you even liked him.

@allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

[wildymoon]

if I hadn't slept at 4am last night and played for 8h today I would do more, here is my recap

(act 2-3 spoilers)

I GOT THE FUCKING LEVELS BUT THE ACHIEVEMENT DIDN'T PROC

on the bright side because Siffrin's at max I get to obliterate everything in sight and that makes fighting funnier

OVER 1000 ERASED SADNESSES. I AM GOD /silly

obliterated the King very easily (forgot I had the bomb too but shhh)

and flames and flood that glitch effect. oh by the stars above. oh wow. YES. but also that was spooky despite me having been spoiled for that

the fact that the smell of burnt sugar was so prominent and yet Siffrin hasn't commented at all on the nostalgie (AND THE TEARS???) smelling sweet is driving me up the wall

adhd moment everything gets a speedrun

ghost jumpscare is very fun, I read through the achievements but seeing one still gives me the urge to just go "WHAT THE FUCK."

Bonbon. is going to make me cry. help they're so cute and they just wanna help and not see their found family get hurt and then shrug it off forever, Siffrin-

this image. by the skies. look at them.

I do not normally actually laugh out loud at my computer when not on voice call. "we have one of those at home" in Mirabelle's hangout got a big laugh out of me. Well played, game <3

poor Odile went on a wile-d goose chase (this pun was a stretch but I Had To)

impatience moment from me but it's easier to manage than the sugar thing

Isabeau trans moment??

this and Mirabelle's hangout make me really want to stream this game to a friend of mine. they may end up crying tho.

urge to murderhobo. but scared. ask multiple sources and places whether it's a loopending thing if I go feral. get no answer. chicken out because the anxiety always wins in this scenario because FAMILY ON THE LINE. this is probably in character tbh

otherwise vibe through loop as normal

temptation. to pineapple. cause completionist and "what does the button do". but I don't wanna upset them. and I'm scared. hhhhhhhhhh

WHAT THE FUCK?

CHANGE GOD??????

change god is an uwu I'm going to explode (it's hilarious but I am lowkey dying here)

ring ring ring ring ring, banana fone!!!!

oh

oh god oh fuck

....

you BITCH /lh

the final snacktime of this run nearly killed me I don't usually cry but this nearly made me tear up. found family really do get me

giving the King a flower may not have been the Smartest idea, but for some ungodly reason it's giving me Hollow Knight vibes and that makes it worth the confusion

I know this isn't the end but new dialogue!!!

ISABEAU YOU CHICKEN. PLEASE. I am too soft to call you a useless gay even in jest but COME ON MAN

welp here we go again

poor Siffrin

uh

oh

FUCK

GUYS????????

I stopped after the loop ended but it feels like a cliffhanger.

MAN. MY BRAIN. I wanna keep going but it's been 8h and now that I have the memory of family there is literally nothing keeping me from going for OP 2 Electric Boogaloo when I get back to playing. and I don't wanna stay up until 4am again.

I don't have to chain fam runs in order to get You Are Loved, right? I mean I probably will but I'm tempted to make Odile suspicious of me and that might fudge it a bit.